#3rd day of pride month going well

[tacagen]

please please lets talk about how barry and hunter percieve thawne and his relationship with barry. like im sure barry had no idea of thawnes crush on him (along with what even was his motivation in general before rs) like up until 'the only time' confession and him calling thawne pathetic for that is his live reaction to this realization under the influence of negative speed force. and we KNOW he knows at the very least after that because of these mfs!!!

they are fear constructs and they are based on barrys fears!!! THEY ACT EVEN FUCKING GAYER AND CREEPIER THAN THE ORIGINAL ONE!!!

and barry oh poor sweet barry. he had no idea that this!

was thawne meaning time with barry and barry alone! and barry didnt fucking see that! barry related to these words because they reminded him of his parents and naturally he supports The 25th Century Flash! AND THAWNE HEARS THAT 'I UNDERSTAND' AND THINKS THAT BARRY UNDERSTOOD EXACTLY WHAT HE MEANT!! THAT BARRY FEELS THE VERY SAME FOR HIM!!! JUST LIKE HE IMAGINED ALL THESE YEARS!!! AND NEVER QUESTIONS THAT CONCLUSION!!! AND LATER CALLS BARRY A LIAR FOR THAT!!! FOR NEVER FEELING THE SAME DESIRE TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER WHICH BARRY NEVER ACTUALLY IMPLIED!!!!

and what about hunter? oh he saw the events of running scared alright. and more, he has an unlimited access to the info about thawne, both personal experience and flash museum archives. he relates to him, he finds fucking comfort in him and his story. he is just like me fr! thawne is his poor little meow meow too and hunter takes it so much more serious than i do due to percieving him as Tragedy Personified!

in fact thawnes death in running scared fucks him up so badly he gives up his ideals and beliefs about flashes in favor of 'they are unfixable and deserve only to suffer'. besides, hes a profiler, he studied psychiatry. like, that guy should understand thawnes character deeply, right?

..............

hunter. hunter my sweet summer child i dont know how to tell you. this is SO not the reason thawne kept it.

he is the BIGGEST (and the only) fan thawne ever had. he knows about him SO MUCH and yet he straight up cannot figure out the most obvious thing about him because he PROJECTS HIS OWN ISSUES AND BELIEFS ABOUT FLASHES ONTO HIM AND REFUSES TO THINK FURTHER. yall im fucking crying. no comments.

THE CLOSET IS GLASS AND NO ONE FUCKING SEES THROUGH AND I AM PERFECTLY NORMAL ABOUT IT!!!!!!

[nerdykeppie]

Holiday Shopping that fights period poverty for college students? Yep! Read on. :)

After the success of our June/Pride 2024 sales goal, where we managed to eliminate a lot of the debt we accumulated while I was unable to work earlier this year & stock up cash so we didn't have to borrow for payroll during the fall lull and also donate to @queerliblib, we were considering where to focus on this year when a conversation I had with my mom pointed me in the direction of our charity for Holidays 2024: the East Stroudsburg University Warrior Food Pantry, and specifically, stocking menstrual products at the pantry.

Without getting too much into the weeds about the details - which I'll talk about under the cut for those of you who are interested - here's the pitch: we need to hit a gross sales goal of $45K in December in order to pay our bills and payroll basically until Pride starts up. Businesses like ours are very much feast or famine, and we've got to eat and we've got people whose paychecks depend on us having the cash to pay them.

If we hit that goal, we'll donate the equivalent of 1% of our net profit from the month of December in period products -- tampons and pads, specifically, by request of the food pantry, and possibly reusable pads and menstrual cups, if the pantry wants that from us. (At the end of the day, this is about taking care of people the way they need, and we'll listen to the pantry staff about what people are requesting.)

We've currently got our Bottoms & Tops sale going, too, so you can buy 2 tops or bottoms from the linked collection & get 69% off the 3rd item from that collection.

Okay, so for the long version whys and wherefores:

My mom taught math at ESU for 35 years, and she and Dad now volunteer running the food pantry along with a couple of other people. ESU is a state school, and as such is one of the few remaining vaguely affordable schools in Pennsylvania. A lot of its students are self-supporting for one reason or another -- many are "non-traditional"/adult students, have kids, or don't have families that can support them while they go to school. Mom & Dad have pushed to expand what the food pantry offers to personal care items, which has been difficult due to a bunch of boring stuff about money and state entities and also people thinking 'that's not food,' but Mom is stubborn about it, because -- to paraphrase her -- how can you focus on class when you feel gross? This struggle has been especially difficult for menstrual products, and way more so for tampons, because it's a rather conservative area and... yeah. People get weird about it.

I've been really broke, with a young kid, and reliant on food pantries, which rarely, if ever, have any menstrual products, let alone tampons. Period poverty is very real, and it sucks.

Plus, I gotta tell you, if we can send a bunch of boxes of tampons and pads to the food pantry, well... Rumor has it this will help my mom win an argument over whether those items should be carried at all, because what are they gonna do, throw them out? They're here! They've been donated! Wasting them would be terrible. :)

So that's the pitch, guys. Help me make a direct, measurable difference in the lives of people at the school where I went to winter swim team, the school that fed me growing up... and help my mom win an argument about making people's lives better... and get your holiday shopping done while you do. ;) We start counting sales from the minute I hit post. :P

[charliemwrites]

Mafia au with Price perspective

Content: Implied Violence

John, for the life of him, can’t believe he ever ran SpecGru without you.

It’s a hit to his pride to admit it, certainly. That an outsider has discovered a small conspiracy within his own organization less than three months into employment. That, apart from even that, he’s never been less scattered, having someone right by his side remembering details, appointments, bits of information.

Morning smells like Earl Grey and your perfume now. Steam mixing with whatever you’ve spritzed for the day, his own little aroma therapy. Revitalizing after however late the previous night dragged him out.

In general, you’re like a breath of fresh air. A smiley little charm of color and delicacy in his world of saturated shadows, blood and brutality.

Clean-cut dresses with patterned tights, soft-knit scarves. Lace accents and modest stilettos. Thin, sparkly jewelry and smart makeup. The scent of you drowns out the lingering burn of gunpowder; or maybe just transforms it into something heady.

John lingers on your hair. Smooth ponytails, tight coifs, intricate braids. Likes when it’s loose enough to brush you shoulders and neck, a little bounce to it as you toddle in and out of his office.

You’re gorgeous, he knows it like a gun in his hand or the stench of fear in the air. Has encountered (and indulged) in more than his share of stunning women. Women with beautiful smiles, and bright laughter, and sweet voices. Cunning women, too. Women who could outfox all but his best on any given day.

You have all of that in spades, though you’re not the first.

The difference, he thinks, is your sincerity. You’re never anything but honest with him. Even when you maybe shouldn’t be. Not that you share your opinion every time you have one, but if he asks for it, you’ll answer without pulling punches.

Respectful, always. Polite. But scalpels are elegant tools as dangerous as any dagger. You’re not cold by any means, but you’re made of steel. Precise and implacable in some ways. Have never hesitated too look him in the eye and cheerfully explain why he’s wrong.

That, he knows, is a rare commodity.

“I understand this is time sensitive Mister Graves, but raising your voice is not going to open Mister Price’s schedule.”

Your voice goes silky when you get like this. A finely draped, overly pleasant “no” in each word. A wall is still a wall no matter how finely it’s painted.

You’ve just gotten your nails done again, glossy wine red tap-tap-tapping over your customized keyboard. Whatever Philip is saying on the other end does not seem to be impressing you. Soap and Gaz are trying not to snicker. You shoot them an amused look.

“Well, he’s booked every morning for the next two weeks,” you continue.

John is not, in fact, booked every morning for the next two weeks. There are two mornings with two hours open and you’re serenely looking at them on your computer screen. He doesn’t correct you, interested to see how this plays out. You know he hates Philip and are gleefully taking advantage of that fact.

“Well, Mister Graves, a lot of people have time sensitive issues to bring to Mister Price,” you explain, a touch condescending now. “I’m afraid I can’t reschedule them just because you have… a trip to Glasgow, is it?”

You don’t sound impressed. Neither is John. You clear your throat, arch your eyebrows at him. Put up three fingers. He nods.

“I can schedule you in on the 3rd in the evening. Your assistant said you’ll be back by then.”

You blink, an almost smug curve to your lips at whatever is said. A pleasant shiver runs down John’s spine. Philip will just have gotten in then - a full day of travel after whatever business he’s been up to will put him at a disadvantage.

“Well, I’m afraid Mister Price’s next availability won’t be until the… 8th. So shall we schedule something for the 3rd? I can always call if he has a cancellation.”

A pause. Your eyes narrow into a mean little smile at nothing in particular. Practically glowing with satisfaction. Without your attention on him, he shifts a bit.

“Of course, Mister Graves,” you hum. “I can forward your people the details. Have a lovely day now.”

Soap and Gaz start laughing the moment you hand up. You huff at them in amusement, shaking your head, then turn to John.

“Was there anything you needed, sir?” You ask, syrupy sweet.

John snorts and finally approaches your desk, leaning his hip against the edge as he crosses his arms. You tilt your head to give him your full attention, a stray curl falling against your jaw.

“Since you seem to be on rampage,” he says, “I need you to get a reservation for Friday at Muse.”

You blink at him. “Muse? Sir, that’s… don’t they book that place out months in advance?”

He smirks. “Just use my name, luv. I’m sure you’ll have the rest under control.”

You don’t look convinced, but you slide your sticky pad over - light purple clouds, now. With a pink glitter pen.

“How many and what time, sir?”

“Six for eight o’clock.”

You hum as you scrawl it down, pretty round letters that shimmer under the office lights.

“Before you go,” you say as you set the sticky pad aside. “I have those inventory logs from the docks - as well as the incident report from security that evening.”

You pluck up a neat stack of papers, held together by a star-shaped paperclip. Already he can see pink highlighter on the first page, a little memo-note summarizing information for quick review at the top. Somewhere within, you’ve attached a pink tab to something.

“I’ve highlighted anything in the original shipment that wasn’t found in the inventory log,” you explain, tapping at one of them.

He hums, skims the summary, then starts rifling through the papers. Will never admit how much he appreciates the thoroughness, even if he’s comb through every detail himself just to be sure nothing has been missed.

“Oh, also,” you add, spinning the glitter pen between clever fingers, “I think we should maybe set up a camera near that back entrance to the warehouse.”

He pauses. The back entrance where they do the more gruesome aspects of “business.” Odd that you would suggest that.

“Why’s that?”

You hum. “Well, I’m no narc, but I heard from someone who works over there that one of the shipping guys smokes weed with his cousin in that area. Maybe someone saw them and realized that’s a good way in.”

You shrug, leaning back in your seat again. The computer dings, calling your attention. John shoots Soap a glance, who nods and quietly steps out. You don’t seem to notice, clicking your tongue at whatever you see.

“Nicely done, luv,” he says, voice warm in his chest. You beam at him, pleased as always when he recognizes your hard work. “I’ll call if I need anything else.”

“Yes, sir,” you reply.

Twenty minutes later, you tap lightly at the open door to his office.

“Got the reservation!” You announce, a funny little smile on your face. “They were so nice about it too. What are you, some kind of mafia boss?”

He chuckles at your joke, shaking his head.

How did he ever manage all this without you?

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[silent-sanctum]

hiii mijin! hope you are doing well 💕 can i req a beach day with jotaro and the crusaders, y/n getting hit on, joot getting jealous, pol and kak clowning him, those shoujo anime cliche we all know and love 😂 thanks !

Hello anon! Your beach day request has been heard! Initially, I had this planned to only be at most 600+ words, but then I went ahead and found the plot to be... a lot more 😬 Also this takes place in an au where everyone survives post-DIO's World. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! ♡

Volleyball - Jotaro x Reader

word count: 2.2k

It’s been 3 months since DIO’s defeat and no one else deserves a break more than the Crusaders.

Everyone had time to recover from their injuries and although some had worse wounds than others, they still managed to make it out of the otherwise deadly voyage alive.

It was Joseph’s idea for the team to meet-up once more in a popular beach near New York-to hang out as friends for once rather than just allies or colleagues. He promised that any expenses in relation to this one-time hangout would be covered using the “good old Joestar funds” as the old man put it.

And since the new school year wouldn’t start until a month after, and that being around familiar faces was a nice experience, Jotaro wasn’t opposed into joining, more so after knowing you were going too.

Speaking off, a part of him held onto this ounce of pride when you and Jotaro decided to be something more than being “just close friends” and who would’ve guessed that this decision would be made in the middle of a mission to save his mother.

Now, not only is Holly alive and well but he also gained a new lover for her to dote on and gush with.

And whether it was conscious or not, you both stuck around for each other, often finding ways to meet one way or another. It felt nice to have you here with him no matter the place.

So having to hop on board a plane yet again and fly off to the States for a day or two wouldn’t be too excruciating when he knew you’d be there to make the sudden meeting a bit more tolerable.

Day after arrival, here he was- sitting underneath a beach umbrella in his dark shorts, drinking juice while watching his grandfather and Polnareff compete at a game of volleyball. You were there beside him in the shade, dressed in a loose blouse and shorts, applying sun screen as you attempted to convince him to play a game with the crew.

I’d rather be at home. Despite your many tries, Jotaro stayed stubborn and said he’d be fine watching you play with the guys. You didn’t push the offer again and after a sip of your citrus drink and a quick peck on his cheek, off you went to lead a waiting Kakyoin to the playing field.

And for the next few hours, it mostly stayed like this- Jotaro and Avdol resting underneath the shade, him watching the volleyball match with his Walkman in hand listening to music, the Egyptian reading a worn-out book that’s most probably from his archives, and the rest of the group out in the sun playing their 3rd round.

Throughout his time there, Jotaro kept his eye on the game and on you specifically, mirroring your excited smile and laughter with his more subtle lip curl and huffs. In an addition to having himself be yours, the relationship helped him negate all the passing girls who took interest in him and tried to approach him.

Not that he had a hard time ignoring them to begin with it.

What Jotaro hadn’t considered was the onlooking men taking interest of you, and the thought struck him square in head when as a volleyball match ended, one of the nearby boys- an American with a blonde mop of hair and tan skin- walked over to you all smiling and shit.

Normally, you conversing with someone with the opposing sex wouldn’t bother him this much, but the second he watched the guy offering you an ice cream cone bought from the nearby vendor, he could hear himself scoff and scowl. “Why’d you accept that?” He muttered, continuing to glare at the man consistently keeping up a lively conversation with you. “What are they even talking about this long?”

“Such an irritating sight that is, right?” Jotaro glanced at Polnareff coming over to be annoying and take part in this dilemma. Behind him, Kakyoin followed. Both of them crouched by the delinquent and joined him in watching you talk with a stranger. “Can’t be helped when she’s just as attractive as you are.”

“You didn’t seem to mind it when boys from our school approached her though,” Kakyoin said.

“It’s because I know they won’t risk meeting me when they think of trying,” Jotaro replied. “But I got a feeling that guys from here are more gutsy than in Japan.”

To hammer down on that point, the blond began to point to his biceps and not-so-subtly flexed them for you to see, and you responded with a calm, wide-eyed “woah”. Jotaro rolled his eyes, rubbing a hand over his thick bicep once. “Why not head over there then? If you’re this jealous?” Polnareff said.

“I’m not jealous.” Both the cherry-haired and Frenchman stayed silent, giving him a mere deadpan. “… Fine. Just a bit.”

“So go there and introduce yourself as her boyfriend in your-” Kakyoin gestured over Jotaro’s frame. “-punk delinquent-esque ways.”

“And you can’t judge us for poor advice anymore when Nori here upgraded from telling you how to do things to instead doing things your way!” Kakyoin nodded, bumping fists with Polnareff.

Jotaro judged them regardless with one vertical look-over at the both of them. “I still don’t trust any of your advises. Besides,” he sighed. “After knowing her more, I don’t think she’d like me suddenly walking there and getting possessive.”

“But it’s not being possessive when you’re establishing boundaries monsieur Kujo,” Pol said.

“Don’t call me that,” Jotaro scowled. “Also I don’t get why you two are always in my business. It’s annoying. Leave me alone.”

Not that his “threats” were effective against this duo, who simply shared a look with each other before replying. “What are you talking about? We’re buddies!” Polnareff chuckled, wrapping an arm around the raven-haired teenager. “Who am I to leave a pal behind to wallow in their own self-pity?”

“Also to be honest, it’s entertaining to see you struggle over stuff like this,” Kakyoin said with a smirk. That and paired with those shades he bought from Egypt just made him all the more smug. “Gets all the ladies but can’t handle one-”

“You shut-”

“Hey!” All three paused to look at you waving from a distance with that damn American and his friends still standing near you. “These guys want to play a round but Grandpa Joseph’s tapping out for the day. I’m afraid his bones have become too brittle-”

“No it’s not!” Said the groaning old man plopping down on the sand the moment he reached his and Avdol’s shared blanket. “I didn’t want to overpower those kids that’s all!”

“L-”

“We’re tougher than we look gramps!” The blond called out in return just as Jotaro was about to say something to you. And that didn’t help alleviate any increasing irritation boiling in him. “How about you guys?”

“Us?” Pol asked.

“Yeah! A friendly competition between us youngsters sound good?” He said, ball already in hand. “Just one set of 2v2!”

“I’m down-”

Whatever Kakyoin had to say about accepting the invite got cut off as Jotaro stood from his spot and walked over to your side with his hands in his short pockets. By the time you were beside him, the blond and his posse faltered for a second when they saw how much taller, built, and intimidating this supposed teenager from Japan was compared to them.

“I’m joining.”

You gazed up at him with widened eyes and a dash of pink to your cheeks. “Jotaro-ssi…”

“O-Oh for sure man,” the American cleared his throat, nervous as he looked over his shoulder to his friends. “How about you guys-”

“You chickening out?” Jotaro said in his characteristic blunt mannerisms. “You wanted to play volleyball, looked for a player, and now that he’s here, you’re passing the torch to your buddies?” From the corner of his vision, you crossed your arms facing them, more amused than pissed at his intervention.

He could spot the single bead of sweat dripping down the side of his face and his Adam’s apple bobbing as he tried to play off his cold feet with false bravado. “Nothing wrong than wanting to let my pals have a shot at a game, but since you’re asking for it,” he made show as he tossed and caught the ball. “It’s game on. Though I got to warn you, I have a nasty spike.”

“It’s true!” Polnareff yelled out from the sidelines. “I saw how he moves on the other net.”

Jotaro rolled his eyes and walked off to your side of the field. “Hey, do you even know how to play volleyball?” You said with a whisper. “You haven’t played once during our time here.”

“I’ve watched you and the others play this entire afternoon enough times for me to figure out how to do it,” he said with casual ease, glancing down at you with a shrug. “If a novice can beat an expert Darby at his favorite baseball game, then this will be nothing.”

“Well yeah but you know playing a video game is drastically different than playing an actual game, right?”

He huffed, unbothered. “Makes this better for me.”

With everyone in their respective spots, one of the blond’s friends served as the referee and starting from the other guy’s side, the whistle blew and the ball flew.

True to his word and his ability to study and adapt on the spot, Jotaro managed to keep up with you and his opponents on the playing field, exchanging the ball countless times without break. All the while, the Crusaders watched this one game like die-hard fans at the Superbowl.

It shouldn’t be that much of a shocker when he knew that both of you had physical advantages: Your lithe self allowing you to be more agile and nimble to traverse the court and catch the ball before it fell, while he had the strength and height to send the ball back to the other side, often times targeted to the edges.

And just as the timer was about to hit the 29 minute mark, Jotaro noticed the American get into a stance with a smirk plastered over his tan face. He cocked his head and rose a brow. The nasty spike I assume.

You sent the ball flying to their side and just as he predicted, the blond took over center field and leapt, arm reared and hand poised to deliver his so-called “nasty spike”.

His palm got into contact with the ball’s surface and with a clear smack, the ball was sent flying over to your side. But as he was about to receive, a glint of rose gold zipped past his vision and next thing he knew, the ball was up in the air as if it was caught mid flight to the ground.

One second glimpse at your knowing look, Jotaro didn’t hesitate to follow your footsteps. He leapt off the sand and rose his hand. In that split second, Star Platinum’s purple gloved hand enveloped his and upon contact with its surface, the ball practically launched itself at the American at a raging speed akin to an incoming missile.

The sand erupted in a loud boom, causing a shallow crater with plumes of sand flying off in many directions as the ball hit the ground. It rolled off the now-incapacitated blond stranger’s body.

His friends couldn’t even move nor make the effort to blow the whistle from the shock of it all.

Jotaro tongued the inside of his cheek, casually pocketing his hands back in his shorts as he glared at the American. “Nasty spike ,” he scoffed. “What a joke.”

You whistled, impressed as you looked down the crater. “You did a number on him.”

He reached over to grab your wrist. “Let’s get out of here.” With a gentle tug, you complied to his wish and followed him out the sandy court. He didn’t even bother meeting up with the Crusaders, who were equally stunned at what had happened.

“You’re not at all questioning why I’m not at all offended at you knocking the man out?”

“I’m questioning why you decided to cheat and use Sanctuary midway.”

“The game was ending in a minute anyways,” you said. “And I wanted to finish it off with a bang.”

“By letting me launch a ball at his face?” You smiled and nodded. “And you’re okay with that?”

“He’s a weirdo,” you grimaced. “His fetishes were showing when he said something about how exotic and pretty I was, and it pissed me off.”

Hearing that made Jotaro want to turn around to the guy for one more solid punch to the face. “But I saw you talking to him for that long.”

“Made you jealous, didn’t it?” You said, smug. “I lowkey wanted to bait you into playing a game with me by riling you up a bit, and for you to finish off that creep with what he deserved.”

“I wasn’t-” He bit his tongue, not finishing his train of thought. “I was a bit jealous and I’m glad I got to wreck that shit-eating face of his in the process, but can you not make me feel like this on purpose? It doesn’t sit right with me.”

“Duly noted and I’m sorry,” you said, eyes cast downward as you bowed your head a bit in sincere apology. “I’ll just tell you outright who and when to punch someone next time, promise!”

Jotaro paused in his tracks and with one good look at your determined sparkling eyes, couldn’t help but sigh and smile at you with uncharacteristic fondness.

“Yeah... I’d prefer that.”

[justwinginglife]

No because your writing keeps me going in this Soshiro Hoshina AO3 drought!!!!!!!

What do we think about our Vice Captain getting in some trouble during a battle with a nasty Kaiju and his long time friend/crush who is a platoon leader in another division just so happens to be on her way to visit the 3rd division when the attack happens so she swoops in to save the day (and stitches him up after the whole ordeal ;))???

So glad I could provide sustenance! I am also keeping myself afloat with my writing trying to stay sane until season two comes out. I need more Hoshina screentime fr fr.

Crushing Hard

Soshiro Hoshina had dinner plans and he was late.

He cursed the kaiju for its poor timing. It was one thing to have to fight a kaiju on a Saturday - how inconsiderate of it to attack on his day off- and another to have to fight it before a date. At least he thought it was a date. He never knew with you. He hoped it was a date. He'd been pining after you for so long, it made his whole week (his whole month, really) that you'd texted him asking if you could swing by and have dinner this weekend.

He had just fixed his hair for the tenth time (he didn't know why he felt the need to fix it so much, it looked the same every time he fixed it), when he got the call that there was a kaiju wreaking havoc. And only a couple blocks away from where you were supposed to meet him for dinner, no less. He would really beat the shit out of the kaiju if it destroyed the restaurant he had planned to take you to.

So he quickly threw his combat suit on over his date clothes, hoping it would be a quick and easy mission, and he'd be ready to greet you at the door in no time at all. Yeah, that had been wishful thinking. This Honju really had it out for him.

In fact, the damn Honju had even sliced through part of his combat suit, tearing through the top he was wearing underneath.

"This was my favorite fucking shirt, damnit!" He curses at the Kaiju and runs at it again, swords at the ready.

The thing about this Honju was that it wasn't very big but it was very quick. Hoshina was exhausting himself just keeping up with it. It was almost like it was made to fight Hoshina, with its strengths lying in speed and close combat. And to make matters worse, without meaning to, Hoshina's mind kept wandering to his dinner with you, causing him to be slower to react than normal. He took a cut to the cheek and swore again. If he took anymore hits, he didn't know if his pride would let him show up to dinner looking like this.

"You know, I really didn't think you'd be treating me to dinner and a show, but you always were the overachiever."

Before he even had time to process who was talking, a large blast went off and the Honju suddenly has a gaping hole in its abdomen.

"Huh. Sturdy thing, aren't you? Let's try that again." Another blast and now its chest is missing.

Hoshina blinks, watching as you continue blasting the kaiju until it's nothing more than roadkill on the pavement. He should be helping you, he should be bandaging himself up, he should be getting food in the both of your stomachs. So many things to do, but all he wants to do is stare. You look so gorgeous with a gun. The way you wipe blood from your cheek, the way your ponytail lifts in the wind, the way that you smirk at the corpse, smug about your win. He wants to take in everything about you.

"You look like you need a drink." Now you were turning around, grinning at him. He thinks to himself that he could watch you forever.

"Soshiro?"

He shakes his head quickly. "Sorry. Must be the blood loss."

You laugh. "Well let's take care of that and then you owe me some dinner, as I recall." You start cleaning him up and he continues to watch you as you handle him with such care.

You pull the combat suit off of him, revealing his torn shirt underneath. "Ah damn. That was your favorite shirt. And mine too. Love when you wear this thing, I'll have to buy you a new one." You continue bandaging him like you haven't just said something that gets his heart racing.

"Mmm, I know, I have one of your shirts in my bag. You can change into that and then we can hit up that restaurant if you're still up for it?"

He nods, a little too quickly you notice. It's adorable.

Then he cocks his head to the side. "Wait, why do you have one of my shirts?"

Then it's your turn to blush. "Ahh that... well it just looked so comfy, can you really blame me for stealing it?"

His eyes widen. "Wait just a minute, how many of my shirts do you have??"

You cough. "Just the one- why do you ask?"

He crosses his arms at you and raises an eyebrow. "Because I was wondering why my closet was looking a little sparse lately. And I thought maybe the washer just ate them all."

"Haha... funny... uh, about that..." You scratch your head sheepishly.

He roll his eyes in mock annoyance but then he smiles. "I'm sure you look better in them than I do anyway. I suppose you can keep them. But you owe me some new shirts!"

You laugh, holding your hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright. Will do. After you buy me dinner, I did just save your sorry ass." You tease.

And the two of you continue on like that the rest of the night, just joking, laughing, drinking, and slowly the line between friends and more than friends starts to blur. Hoshina thinks to himself, maybe he does have a chance in hell with you.

After all, who the fuck steals half of someone's closet?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Sure I can't convince you to ditch Narumi and join my division instead? I make a mean omurice."

[hard--headed--woman]

I know I spent two days without posting any lesbian pride post lol but I swear I'm gonna post two posts per day in the following days to make up for it. I am again going to talk about an artist, but from a different period this time.

Rosa Bohneur !

(I love her name by the way... Bohneur means happiness in french and that's such a pretty name to have)

Marie-Rosalie Bonheur, known as Rosa Bonheur, was born in 1822 in Bordeaux and died in 1899 in Thomery. She was a French painter and sculptor specialising in representations of animals.

She has kind of an interesting family story (mother adopted by a rich guy who found out later who was her real father, siblings all artists, father who met a lot of interesting people, links with many famous people...) but it would be too long to talk about it and I want to focus on Rosa herself. Do check it up if you're interested!

During her youth, Rosa Bonheur had a reputation for being a tomboy, a reputation that followed her throughout her life and which she made no attempt to deny, wearing her hair short and later smoking cigarettes and cigars. Her emancipated lifestyle never caused a scandal, even though she lived in an era that was very concerned with convention. Like all women of her time, Rosa Bonheur had to apply to the Prefecture of Paris for a cross-dressing permit, renewable every six months, in order to wear trousers, in particular to attend livestock fairs, travel or ride horses.

Here's one of her permits, from 1857 :

And though many historians tried to deny the fact that she was a lesbian, she always refused to marry a man, has only ever had relationships with women and literally wrote that she never felt any sort of love, attraction or tenderness for men, "besides a frank and good friendship for those who had all my esteem". After the death of the woman she loved, she also wrote "If I'd been a man, I'd have married her, and they wouldn't have made up all those silly stories..." You got it : even if she didn't shout it from the rooftops, Rosa was very probaby a homosexual woman.

Rosa Bohneur grew up in a fairly wealthy family, thanks to the financial support of her mother's adoptive father. But when her mother's father died, the family was left without any such support, and fell into dire poverty. When Rosa was 11, her mother died, which deeply traumatised her. She kept a lifelong admiration for her mother.

In 1836, at the age of 14, she met Nathalie Micas, who became her lover. Only Nathalie's death 53 years later separated them.

Her father remarried in 1842 to Marguerite Peyrol, with whom he had a last son, Germain, who would also become a painter. Rosa Bonheur did not get on well with her stepmother and when her father died in 1849, she left the family home to live with the Micas.

After her mother's death, Rosa Bonheur went to primary schools, was apprenticed as a dressmaker and then went to boarding school. Eventually her father took her into his workshop, where her artistic talents were revealed. He was her one and only teacher. Gradually, she developed a passion for animal art, which became her speciality.

She exhibited for the first time, at the age of 19, at the Salon of 1841. She won a 3rd class medal at the Salon of 1845, and a 1st class medal (gold) at the Salon of 1848. This award enabled her, at the age of 26, to obtain a commission from the State to produce an agrarian painting (paid 3,000 francs). The painting resulting from this state commission, "Labourage nivernais" was supposed to go to the Musée des Beaux-Arts in Lyon. But it was so successful at the 1849 Salon that the Beaux-Arts department decided to keep it in Paris, at the Musée du Luxembourg. After Rosa Bonheur's death, the work went to the Louvre, before being transferred to the Musée d'Orsay in 1986.

When her father died in March 1849, Rosa Bonheur replaced him as director of the École impériale gratuite de dessin pour demoiselles (or École gratuite de dessin pour jeunes filles). She remained in this position until 1860: ‘Follow my advice and I'll turn you into Leonardo da Vinci in skirts’, she often told her pupils.

In 1860, she moved to a huge house in By, where she had a huge workshop built, and ample space for her animals. One of her relatives wrote: “She had a complete menagerie in her house: a lion and a lioness, a deer, a wild sheep, a gazelle, horses, etc. One of her pets was a young lion she let run around. My mind was freer when this leonine animal died".

In June 1864, Rosa was visited by Empress Eugenie, who invited her to lunch at the Château de Fontainebleau with her husband. The following year, Eugenie returned to see her, to present her with the Legion d'honneur herself. Rosa is the ninth woman and the first artist to receive this distinction. About this, The Empress said :

“At last, you've been knighted. I am delighted to be the godmother of the first woman artist to receive this high distinction. I wanted the last act of my regency to be devoted to showing that, in my eyes, genius has no sex."

She was also the first woman to be made an officer in this order, in April 1894 (first female officer of the Legion d'honneur).

Rosa traveled extensively with her lover Nathalie, herself a painter and mechanical enthusiast (she invented and patented a railway braking system), and painted many pictures inspired by her travels.

In 1889, Nathalie died after some 50 years together. It was then that Rosa expressed her regret at not having been able to marry her.

After Nathalie's death, Rosa met Anna Klumpe, a talented American painter. The two women moved in together some time later.

Rosa Bohneur died of pulmonary congestion in 1899, without having completed her last painting, “La foulaison du blé en Camargue”, a monumental canvas she had planned to exhibit at the 1900 Universal Exhibition.

She is buried in Père Lachaise cemetery, alongside Nathalie, her parents and Anna (who died years after her). She left her entire fortune to Anna, who, in 1908, published a biography of Rosa Bonheur and created a Rosa-Bonheur prize at the Société des artistes français. The Société des Artistes français posthumously awarded her the Medal of Honor shortly after her death.

Rosa could have had military honors at her funeral, but she specified in her will that she did not wish this.

There's a lot of interesting things to say about Rosa, her art and her history, so I suggest you do some research on her! She was a very talented and strong-willed woman who had a huge impact on French art and left a considerable cultural legacy.

Here are some of her paintings :

I personally love them ! I am not a painting expert, I just find them sooo pretty.

See you tomorrow :)

[dancingtotuyo]

Scathed 12 (Javier Peña)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: anxiety, trauma, illusions to past self harm/suicide attempt, mentions of miscarriage (all very brief compared to previous chapters), the drug war, Narcos season 3 spoilers

Notes: no surprises here! All the love for my beautiful beta reader and wife @guiltyasdave

Words: 2879

Series Master List | Author Master List

Journal Entry

March 3rd, 1995

I think I’m back to where I was before Javier. Trisha has been reminding me that progress isn’t linear, but it’s hard to go back so much. I made it through the grocery store last week and by that marker I’m further ahead. I cried in the car after, but I still made it in. I’m going to try a couple summer classes.

Emily didn’t tell the kids to stop calling Javier. She caught them leaving trailing voicemails from time to time, mostly Ale, sometimes Mateo, never Miguelito. He seemed to know what was going on. That Javier was out of their lives.

Emily couldn’t help but reflect on it. How one person could come into your life for such a short period of time and play such a significant part in it, leave such a big space behind.

Alejandra was the one who asked. When Emily picked her up from school, or when she saw Chucho for riding lessons. He always cast her a questioning look. Emily would shake your head, never asking if he’d heard from Javier. It wasn’t her business. It would hurt to know.

Yet, she didn’t stop replaying that last conversation. He was convinced he wasn’t enough. He reminded her of when he blamed himself for her panic attack. Was there a chance he was as broken as she was? That’s what had bonded them. That’s why he’d felt safe, but how could two broken people be good for each other? Emily had gotten her answer. They weren’t. He’d only hurt her. Set her further back on her goals.

Worst of all, he was hurting her kids. He’d abandoned them too, and Emily wasn’t sure how she was supposed to handle that.

Journal Entry

April 18th, 1995

I can’t close my eyes without nightmares in the best times, but the days are easier than they’ve been in a long time.

Jaime had seen the changes in his daughter, the way Javier’s silence impacted her. It was hard to miss. Emily hadn’t told him much about their lack of communication. He knew what the beginning was like, Emily’s questions, the information he could parlay to her, but those had stopped within the first couple of months. The phone bill was lower than he anticipated each time with most calls outbound when Emily wasn’t home, but the kids were. He hated that too. Javier had become an extension of their family. He made Emily smile again, and then he left. He didn’t keep his promises.

Her father still struggled to understand it all. Emily hadn’t told him alot about what happened to her in Mexico either. What he knew was mostly second hand information and the facts, but the day to day horrors she faced, he had limited knowledge about. He wanted to know. He wanted to understand. He wanted to be that person for her, but he understood that Javier had in some magical way, been the person in her life that understood, and for that Jaime mourned his daughter’s loss with her.

As upset as he was with Javier, he found his pride in Emily increased by the day as she continued to work towards her goals, having to re-reach some in the process. As she progressed, it further set a plan in motion.

One Saturday, Jaime pulled Emily out, taking her for a drive. It was rare they got afternoons one on one. Usually one of the kids was tagging along, but this was something he wanted to do just the two of them.

Emily stared out the window, quietly as the radio played softly. Jaime glanced over at his daughter. She hadn’t asked a lot of questions when he pulled her out of the house, but he had the feeling she hadn’t been sleeping as well the last couple of weeks. It made him a little bit nervous about his plan. He wasn’t sure how she would react. They’d only talked about it in theory, as a hopefully one day. There hadn’t been a timetable.

He turned down a residential street, about ten minutes from home. Emily perked up beside him. “Where are we going?”

“I’ve been thinkin.”

Emily raised an eyebrow, lifting above the frames of her sunglasses. “About?”

“You’ll see.”

She let out a long sigh. “Dad.”

“You been having nightmares again?”

Emily’s head snapped toward him in rapt attention. He was never very good at easing into this stuff. “I’m always having nightmares.”

“Em.”

Emily sighed, running a hand through her mop of curls. She looked back out the window, biting on her thumb nail. “I’m doing better.”

“Just because you can go to the grocery store again doesn’t mean you’re not having nightmares.”

She continued to bite at her nail, picking at a hangnail that had developed. “Turns out, I’d been blocking some stuff out. It’s not very fun when your worst memories aren't your worst memories anymore.”

Jaime parked the car on the side of the street, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head so Emily could see his eyes. She didn’t move hers. “You can talk to me about it.”

“Dad…”

“When you were a little girl. We used to ride around town.” He smiled. “Just driving. You loved sitting shotgun with me. Your mom wouldn’t let you. She said it wasn’t safe.”

Emily chuffed. “That’s ironic.”

“Yeah.” He feigned a smile, nodding along. After a beat of silence, Jaime took the opening before him, the one he’d been waiting for for years. “What happened that she didn't stop it?”

Emily paused. Had they never had this conversation? That first year home was so foggy in her brain. She wasn’t sure what she did and didn’t tell him. Emily swallowed, closing her eyes to keep the tears back. To this day, she wasn’t sure how much her mother had and hadn’t done, and how much was just him.

“She encouraged me… saw a rich man and his interests. She didn’t see any issue with it”. Her nails bit into her palm, Jaime gripped the steering wheel in front of him, knuckles turning white.

“If I had known…”

“I know, Dad.”

“I want to know more if you’re ready to tell me.”

Emily let it sink in, not moving for a minute. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready to tell you everything.”

“I’m not asking to know everything. Just some things. You don’t have to keep it bottled up inside.”

Emily inhaled sharply. Her thumb grazed under her watchband. The one that hid her scar. She couldn’t talk about that. She wasn’t ready for him to know what she had attempted. She thought about the events leading up to it. She wasn’t sure her Dad or Anna knew about her miscarriages either. Those were just facts, things that had happened, it didn’t include the trauma that each event was wrapped in, the mounting pile that led up to each event.

“I guess I haven't thought about how much I haven’t told you.”

Emily let her mind take her back for a second, eyes glazing over with tears as she thought about the beginning. The vacation to Mexico that turned into six years of hell. She could never figure out why he’d picked her. There was nothing special, nothing that stood out about her younger self. At least, nothing she could pinpoint, but maybe that’s why he’d picked her.

“Mom was all too happy to have our trip extended indefinitely.”

“You were at his hotel.”

“Yeah.” Emily paused. “When I found out I was pregnant, I told him before mom. He moved me in with him before I even got the chance to tell her. I remember feeling relieved, like I would be okay.” She looked down. “Things weren’t bad at first, but that almost makes it worse. I mean, I was 15. What did I know?”

Jaime watched, silence ringing in his brain, but it was one of the first times it truly clicked for him. He’d struggled to comprehend it at times. He knew it wasn’t her fault, but the thoughts still ran through his head. How she hadn’t seen the signs? How she’d let it happen? but it finally clicked in a concrete way. Emily hadn’t let anything happen. If he hadn’t been able to control or predict Felix, how could a 15 year old girl? He felt a rush of shame that it took this long to understand it. “You didn’t know anything.”

Emily’s head snapped back to him, a vulnerability in her eyes. The one that reminded Jaime of when his daughter was a child.

“You were supposed to be worried about homecoming and algebra. Not raising a baby. Not going through…”

Emily nodded. “I don’t really want to go more in depth right now.”

“That’s okay.” He turned off the vehicle. “Thank you.”

“So you didn’t drive me across town just to talk?”

Jaime shook his head. “I wanted to show you this.” He pointed out the passenger window to the house. A simple, single story rancher. It had a nice front porch and a garage. From what Emily could tell, the backyard was already fenced in. A “FOR SALE” sign sat proudly in the front yard.

“Dad…”

“I saw the listing last week. It’s got three bedrooms and two bathrooms. The backyard sounded like it’s got enough room for a nice garden.”

Emily fought against the panic rising inside of her at the thought of living anywhere else but with her parents. Her chest tightened as she inhaled sharply.

“Hey,” Jaime reached for her hand. “I’m not saying you have to move, or that it has to be this house, but we’ve talked about this, Sweetheart. I think you might be close.”

Emily looked between the house and her father, eyes darting back and forth like an animal not sure which path to take. “I’m not where I was last summer.”

“No, but you’re in a better place than you were last spring. You sat through the whole Christmas program this year. Not just the kids’ portions.”

“Barely-“

“But you did.”

Emily bit her lip. She knew she was doing things she couldn’t do on her own a year ago. She was grocery shopping alone now. She made it through the zoo last week, just her and the kids. She’d pulled them out of school and it had been relatively quiet, but it was still something. Trisha had told her to celebrate it.

She sighed. “No pressure?’

“No pressure.”

She looked back at the house. Something about it called to her. She loved her parents, but she didn’t want to live with them forever. Emily’s fingers found the door handle before she had time to fully comprehend it. “Okay.”

Her dad followed her up, pulling a key out of his pocket. “I know the realtor.”

“Of course you do.” She smiled as he let them in.

The house was empty. It hadn’t been staged yet, but that didn’t matter too much. Emily walked through the house almost silently, like speaking would break the tug in her heart. The living room, dining area, and kitchen all ran together in a loop. The bedrooms sat off a hallway. She knew which one would be Alejandra’s and which one would be the boys’. The master suite had a large bathtub, but the back patio was the selling point. Her swing would fit, and so would a firepit. The backyard spread out, large enough for a garden and a playset for the kids.

She could see it all in her mind. The garden. The kids playing. Looking up at the stars on those sleepless nights, talking to Jav- She cut off the thought. Just stargazing, just her and a bottle of something.

Emily inhaled deeply. She liked this house. She wanted this house. Could she actually be ready to do this? They’d talked about it. Planned for it, but it was still a year earlier than they’d talked about.

“What do you think?” her dad spoke, standing beside her.

“You knew I’d love it.”

He grinned. “I am your father.”

“How would it work?”

“We’re ten minutes away if you need us. Anna and I would take the kids once a week overnight.” He smiled at her. “We’ve got the down payment saved up for you. We paid the house off a couple years early, so we’ve got some more wiggle room to help you out.”

“Dad.”

“It’s yours if you want it, Sweetheart.”

Emily felt tears well in her eyes “And if we do this and I can’t handle it?”

“Then you move back and we’ll rent it until you’re ready.” Jaime said it like it was the simplest thing in the world. Was it really that easy? All she had to do was say yes? That she wanted this?

“Can I have some time to think about it?”

Jaime nodded. “Of course.”

Journal Entry

May 25th, 1995

My birthday is tomorrow. Dad asked me what I wanted to do, and I couldn’t come up with anything. I can’t stop thinking about last year. It felt a lot more hopeful, but there are things this year to look forward to. Ale has a riding lesson with Chucho. I think I’m just going to ride Paz. We’ll have cake when we get home.

Emily closed her eyes, inhaling the fresh air as she sat on top of Paz, taking the familiar paths through the woods of the Peña ranch.The past year ran through her mind. Everything had looked so promising only for it to come crashing down. One single person did that. Maybe it wasn’t fair to pin it all on Javier, but maybe it was. He’d made her feel safe and that opened doors. Doors that shut the moment he pulled away. She was slowly starting to pry them open. Some were budging, others weren’t.

She found herself in the back pasture at the river’s edge. There were no sign of the drug runners at the moment surrounding her with only the sounds of nature. Cattle grazed behind her. The river rushed in front of her as she stared across it. She liked it here. It was quiet, serene.

Paz shuffled under her. A fly landed on the horses’s coat. Emily watched as she twitched the muscle on her shoulder to chase it away. She smiled, running a hand over her shoulder. “You’re such a good girl.”

Paz knocked her head up and down as if in agreement causing Emily to laugh. She leaned forward in the saddle. “Today is my birthday you know.”

Paz turned her head back to look at Emily. She offered the mare a soft smile. “I thought birthdays would be different after last year. I thought-“

She let out a sharp breath as the rest of the thought cut through her mind. She thought Javier would be there for her other birthdays, for the rest of her birthdays. She had expected it, wanted it, anticipated it…

Her eyes fixed on the river as her mind raced to break records on what that meant. Javier had been her friend, her best friend, but something else nagged at her. The expectation of forever, the desire for forever…

Before she could get lost in it, the rustle of trees and crunch of underbrush jerked her out of it. She twisted in the saddle, Paz slowly turning around with her. Gracie’s muzzle popped out of the woods first. Emily furrowed her brow, trying to ignore the anxiety coursing through her.

The rider ducked under a branch as he cleared the tree line. Emily felt the world around her go quiet as her eyes met with soft brow irises she knew by heart.

Javier froze the second their gazes met, pulling Gracie to a stop with a soft “woah.”

Nobody said anything. Neither of them moved, eyes pinned to the other’s. So many things roared in Emily’s ears. He was back? For how long? Why hadn’t he called? She had hoped he would when he got back. It didn’t matter that she didn’t know if she was going to forgive him or not. He hadn’t given her the opportunity to make that choice. He hadn’t given her the opportunity for much. Hadn’t bothered to return her children’s messages.

Even now, he offered nothing. He didn’t apologize for blocking her out. He didn’t even try. He just stared at her like she was some stumbling doe bleeding out. Anger filled her, and before Emily knew it, she kicked Paz forward, jogging past Javier without giving him an opportunity to make up some bullshit excuse or offer up an apology. She was half way back to the house before she realized there were tears on her cheeks.

Journal Entry

May 26th, 1995

He didn’t have anything to say, just stared at me like I wasn’t supposed to be there! He was the one who’s not supposed to be there. What the fuck?

Javier dropped his head with a sigh. He hadn’t expected her. Hadn’t planned through his apology. In Colombia, he’d been convinced he’d done the right thing, but being home, seeing her, he wasn’t so sure anymore, but Javier didn’t know if he could fix this.

……………………………………………………………………

Tag List: @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @burntheedges @southernbe @fanyyoouu

@greengirlwurld @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @weho2kcmo @missladym1981

[serbarris]

Sweet music playing in the dark

Dragon Age: the Veilguard, some spoilers for plot, spoilers for Emmrichs romance  Pairing: F!Rook Ingellvar x Emmrich Volkarin  Rating: T   Summary: A slight reimagining of Emmrich and Rook's romantic interest confession scene with the wisps. Words: 1730 Set after the 3rd scene in I'll Crawl Home to Her

Added to ao3

“Ah, Rook! I’m glad you're here, I was wondering if you could satisfy my curiosity.” Calliope nodded, making her way over to Emmrich as he perched on the desk atop the landing in his quarters. Her anxiety spiked slightly as she wondered what Emmrich could be asking about but nevertheless allowed him to continue, “If you don’t mind me asking, why did you not mention you were once my student before the other night?”   

Calliope pondered her answer. Would now be a good time to admit her crush? No, but Emmrich has been somewhat reciprocating her poor attempts at flirting, so he must somewhat also at least consider her enough of a friend to appease her, and let her down gently, so she could try to be open with him. “I was a bit embarrassed,” she began, watching Emmrich’s eyebrows raise. “Not by your teaching! You were a good teacher, a great teacher, I... I just didn’t know if it would be weird for you to know - since we’re working on saving the world together.” It was also for her own benefit that Emmrich didn’t try to remember Calliope as a scrawny young woman, always behind in the latest fashion due to the hand-me-downs the other watchers passed to her.    

“Seeing you now, I believe I made entirely the right choice in accepting you into my class all those years ago. I must admit, I quite envy you, Rook.”    

“Really?” Calliope asked, breathlessly, how could she be the envy of Emmrich? When she still yearned for his knowledge and techniques to manipulate the fade and spirits, he showed her every day how much she could grow as a Watcher.   

“You know how seldom Watchers leave Nevarra, if ever. You’ve already travelled more of Thedas than most of us see in a lifetime. What adventures you’ve had!” Wonder and excitement permeated every word. It filled Calliope with a warm feeling and the hope that maybe Emmrich was just as fascinated with her as she was with him. Any pride in herself however was coated with a hint of darkness, she hadn’t really wanted to go on the adventures she had in the last 12 or so months, they were rather forced upon her due to her ‘agreed break’ from the Mourn Watch, which still made her question, daily – if not hourly - if she regretted her actions.   

“I wish the choice to have those adventures was completely my own, but it’s flattering you think me a grand adventurer.”   

“Well, something thrills at travelling with a daring young woman who’s racing to stop an apocalypse.” Inevitably a pink flush rose to her cheeks and heated them fiercely, just as it had at any other time Emmrich complimented Calliope. “Especially if she’s shown unexpected interest in an old Professor?” Calliope’s heart felt like it was pounding too fast, or too slow - she wasn’t very good at biology when it came to live humans - but she felt her pulse thud in her ears as her mouth became dry. Emmrich smiled as if he could sense the way her skin felt too tight, that her brain had so many thoughts rushing through that she struggled to form a coherent sentence. As she replied he tried to follow her face, which she shied away, hiding to the side, not wanting to meet Emmrich’s own eyes. “You have a very... charming way of putting things.”   

“Well thank you. I have taken notice of how you always compliment my work, Rook. It’s most flattering considering your own abilities. Perhaps those years at the lectern have proved useful.” Pondered Emmrich, considering the skull in his hand, Calliope could see a thought cross his face before he turned to her and asked, “May I show you something of the greater Fade here?” His voice was deeper as he asked, thrumming under Calliope’s skin.   

She managed to let out, “Please.” It was almost a whisper.   

“Close your eyes. Take a breath.” Calliope couldn’t resist taking a peek at Emmrich as she felt him move closer, her senses heightened, “Ah.” Emmrich admonished, “Slow. Deep.” Emmrich lightly gripped Calliope’s hand, guiding it to rest on the top of the skull, covering her hand with his own, she felt his rings press against her meagre jewellery. As Emmrich spoke an incantation, she felt a tingling sensation from underneath her fingers, she felt the ripples of magic spread around them, electrifying their surroundings. Feeling a presence nearby, she moved slightly, her nose being tickled by the unknown apparition. Slowly opening her eyes, she gasped with awe as she was met with a flurry of wisps of all different sizes dancing around herself and Emmrich. They danced and twirled around reminding her of the paintings of ballrooms in Vorgoth’s collection. Mesmerised she stared as the wisps encircled the pair, drawing her closer to Emmrich, she could almost feel his breath on her face, “If your attentions go beyond charming flattery... that would interest me, indeed.”    

Calliope took a moment to register Emmrich’s words. His tender, questioning voice. She must be dreaming, right? This wasn’t happening. Emmrich Volkarin, famed Fade expert, and corpse whispering extraordinaire, who she’s been infatuated with since she was 16 is interested in her. If she went back and told herself this day was happening then young Calliope probably would have fainted, Maker, present Calliope felt like she could faint. “I’ve always -”   

Hiss   

Her breathless confession was cut off by the arrival of Manfred. Sweet, precious Manfred. Calliope's sigh of relief was louder than she anticipated, but she was glad she hadn’t blurted out that she had found him attractive and had dreamed about the slightest possibility Emmrich also reciprocated her feelings. As Calliope made her way towards the stairs, Emmrich caught her arm, “Rook, I must attend to this, but I’d be delighted if we found each other later.”   

Calliope knocked on Emmrich’s door, hoping she wasn’t imposing too much by inviting herself for tea. Emmrich did tell her to find him later, and Calliope did ask Emmrich after dinner if it was okay for her to join, but Calliope’s mind liked to play tricks on her, unpicking every situation with a fine-toothed comb and twisting it to go against Calliope's desires and intentions.   

She could hear a fast clacking against the flagstone floor as Manfred ran to open the door, an excited hiss erupting from his mandible as he gestured for her to enter. A teapot and cups were set up on a table in front of a settee, steam rising. Emmrich rose from his seat as Calliope entered, “Rook! Perfect timing, Manfred just poured the tea.”

Waving her over and guiding her to her seat on the settee, Emmrich bid Manfred thanks as Calliope heard Manfred clamber up the stairs. “I hope I prepared your tea to your liking,” Emmrich said, handing Calliope her teacup and saucer. It certainly looked how she would prepare it; with a small amount of milk and as she took a sip, she noticed a slight sweetness. Emmrich had even paid attention to how much sugar she added to her tea. “It’s... perfect.” A relief washed over Emmrich’s features, and he settled back on the settee with his own brew. They exchanged small anecdotes, from both before and during Calliope's time at the Necropolis, they spoke for so long the fire had started to dim, being neglected by both of them, the pot of tea long finished. Calliope steeled herself as she attempted to bring the conversation to a similar vein to earlier that day. “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you outside of lectures or Necropolis gossip, Emmrich. I was worried you’d high tail it home when you realised I was a former student of yours.”    

“Well, I didn’t expect a fellow Watcher at all, but you are a very skilled necromancer Rook, you shouldn’t doubt that.”   

“If you said that to adolescent Calliope, I think she would have died happy knowing the Professor she’s infatuated with thought so highly of her.” Calliope braced herself. She finally said it. She had been trying to work her crush into conversation all evening. That was, of course, the point of tea, to come clean, and admit her longstanding feelings. Her doodles in the margins of books and her picking flower petals (he likes me, he likes me not) might actually come to fruition. She had to be honest. She felt bad enough that she had hidden this behind flirting for weeks. Neve and Bellara goaded her at every opportunity to admit how she felt. She had been rehearsing responses to made-up questions all afternoon in anticipation of this evening, of course, none of the scenarios came to be realised.  

Now that she had admitted her feelings, felt like a weight had been lifted, even if her body tensed, waiting for the surely coming rejection. Emmrich reached across to where Calliope’s hand rested on the settee cushion, taking it in his own as he looked into her eyes, “My dear I had guessed that might have been the case. Your cheeks bloom the most delightful shade of pink when you talk to me.” As if on cue Calliope’s cheeks felt hotter, she shied away, trying to hide the flush, but Emmrich tenderly gripped her chin, tilting her face and moving closer so he could study her deepening blush. “Exquisite,” Emmrich murmured, Calliope’s brain mercifully was clear of thought. She had simply transcended into a state of shock. Calliope saw Emmrich’s eyes dart across her face, her eyes, her blush and her lips. She gravitated towards Emmrich, until eventually, their breaths mingled, their faces so close it would only take a few millimetres of movement to close the gap between their lips.   

So, Calliope moved.   

Emmrich’s lips were impossibly soft and tasted of tea. It took Emmrich a second to realise they were indeed kissing before he reciprocated with passion.   

Calliope felt Emmrich’s grip on her chin loosen as the kiss deepened, pulling her from her fervour. With a jolt, she stood up, knee knocking against the table making the tea set clatter, as she backed away. “I... I’m so sorry.” She apologised as she rushed out the door, her fingers grazing over her swollen lips. Emmrich sat, stupefied as Manfred ambulated down the stairs, a questioning hiss reverberating around the room. “I’m not sure Manfred, I’ll speak to Rook tomorrow. Give her some time.” 

[viaviv124]

Cotl Unity AU

Okay because we all know i will never start, let alone finish, writing this we'll do the same i did with the orphan AU and give a plot summary. I won't go too much into the politcs of shit here, many outside relationships that arent crucial or make time to explain small easter eggs/gags i put in so feel free to ask if you wanna know! I'd love to yap more! Same goes for questions in general!

Alright lets start!

So there's this country/kingdom called Dagas and the royal family, currently consisting of 5 siblings, the oldest taking the crown as the monarch/ruler, are viewed as gods and worshipped by the church. Narinder is the 3rd prince and 23 years old. He's pretty invested in the military and handles a lot of politics having to do with fighting, earning him the title God/Prince of death (allthough this also comes from his ruthlessness and cold demeanor). One day Shamura tells him he's betrothed and that his fiance will arrive in two weeks, that day being a royal ball to publically announce it. Narinder tries to fight this arrangement but fails, much to his dismay. The decision is final. He knows nothing about his fiance, only that they're slightly younger than him, allthough still an adult.

The ball comes, Narinder is not amused and keeps ranting to his siblings, and around an hour or two in a carriage arrives and the guards escort the fiance inside, a lamb in precious, simple white robes and a red camelia in their wool. They bow in front of Narinder, introducing themself as Nanda from Venzor, a rather small village. They're a commoner, Narinder is less than thrilled, allthough for appearances he gives himself as charming and interested, allthough his face is deadpan for the crowd cannot see it. He extends a hand and Nanda kisses it, not recieving the same courtesy back allthough he should've. Narinder tells them to rise and despite eye-ing Narinder for a split moment, Nanda smiles politely and says how much of an honor it is for them to stand in front of him like this, allthough lowkey passive agressively. Narinder takes that personal and decides he doesn't like them even more. They have a dance because, again, appearances, and allthough Nanda cannot dance they manage to keep up impressively well. During dinner with the rest of the royal siblings it is revealed that the reason for this engagement is that Nanda is indirectly from the church. Allthough not officially a priest, they've caused a small, abandoned church in their village to blossom and bloom, causing even a lot of travelers to move to this village in order to devote themselves to faith. Nanda's talent/achievements within the church, which is lowkey controlling the loyalty of the commoners torwards the royals hence why it's so important, combined with their sharp wit it would be a good match with Narinder's military upbringing. Narinder doesn't protest but silently hopes that Nanda will just be an obedient believer who won't get in his way.

And that works, for the first week or so they do as they're told, work wise, and everything seems fine. Until Nanda realized/learned they can be casual around the royals, they cannot get rid of them or harm them unless they commit a respective crime, so they start relaxing and showing it in their attitude. What pushes it over the edge for Narinder is that Nands dared ordering him around. Well actually they just asked him if he could get something for them he was closer to but alas, who is to understand the mind of that prideful cat? (Nandas words) From that day on none of them held back. They bicker and bicker with no end, every so often it'd escalate into a fistfight too. They can barely sit in room together without one deciding to provocate the other for absolutely no reason. And hence their dynamic is born.

Around a month since Nanda arrived Narinder has to leave for a week or two. When he comes back and steps out of the carriage or leaves the ship or something everywhere around them are screams of pain and agony. It is caused by Nandas hand, ss they've killed people that seemed previously hidden. Once the acts are committed Nanda goes blank with this horrifyingly odd look in their eyes, making everone believe they lost it. They didnt hurt anyone else though and they didn't resist arrest. Narinder, accompanied by a guard for safety, decided to interrogate Nands himself. They reveal that these people were plotting to kill Narinder the moment he came back, providing a few letters exchanged in secret by the perpetrators they managed to steal as evidence. They never intended to kill them, but they couldn't help but see red. If they should be executed for their crimes they won't resist. Narinder believes their story and demands Nanda free. When asked for his reasoning he says that these letters were the real deal, for he knows Nandas handwriting enough to say so. Nanda saved his life so they get pardoned. Narinder doesn't understand why this drove Nanda so far they could only see red, this starts changing his view of them ever so slightly positively, allthough this doesnt stop their constant fighting.

Their normal life goes on until 2 months later they have to go to Venzor, Nanda's hometown, for various reasons. There Narinder meets Ratau, Nandas mentor and the one who arranged the engagement together with Shamura, allthough Nanda didn't find out until the day they had to leave. In general Narinder meets a huge culture shock, for as the common folk seem to greatly respect Nanda, calling them leader (which they've only seen Corey do sometimes) and in turn treating Narinder all casually despite being aware of his Status. During their stay he sees a very kind and mature side of Nanda, also seeing their skill in delivering sermons and in general doing work preists usually learn their whole lifes to do. On their trip they also need to clear out a nearby forest of monsters, creatures that greatly plague Dagas' safety and that Narinder frequently goes fight for a hobby. There he learns that Nanda is not only skilled with swords and daggers but also posesses black magic, making him re-evaluate each time they fought and in theory they could've just ended him right there.

In general both of them they realize they make a great team and work greatly together, be it about their actual work or fighting together. Especially after their visit to Venzor they also fight less. (allthough still very frequently, this is just their thing. Most of the malice is gone.)

Narinder learns Nanda is plagued by nightmares around two weeks after they return home. He found that out because he demands small cuddle sessions every now and then (obviously totally not romantic at all or anything, the grumpy kitty just needs his big plushy). Surprisingly the nightterrors become less when Nanda's with him so they end up sharing his bed. Over the span of the next 2 or 3 months the two of them (allthough mainly nanda) open up more in general, telling the other personal things and things that trouble them. For Nanda this includes telling Narinder their nightmares and that their birth family is dead. Over that time the two of them also begin sleeping with eachother on a regular basis.

For the next bit i have a semi-written out scene, with that i mean dialogue, so here you go:

It's late at night. Nanda is prone to overworking themself, especially just working deep into the night, and this day is no other. Narinder enters their office, leaning at the doorframe. "Come to bed." Nanda shakes their head "I need to finish this." Irritation starts filling the prince's voice, allthough with no real heat "I am not repeating myself, lamb." "What, can't sleep without me?" "I've no use for someone sleep deprived." A scoff "I don't need to be useful to you." "As a commoner thats your purpose, even more as a religious figure. You’re supposed to devote yourself to me." "Baah, i never did that. It’s dumb. I just use the scriptures as my own and take from it what i want and need. Now be quiet and follow your own advice and go to bed, prideful cat." "Excuse me?" "You heard me." Despite the bickering Narinder's interest was piqued. After a bit back and forth he gets Nanda to elaborate, who proceeds to tell him their story. Nanda grew up in a small village, not Venzor, with their family. However, that place was pillaged when they were around 12. From their family they are the only survivor and had to flee. In order to survive they had to resort to theft and violence, also getting with some very bad people i won't get into here. This went on for around 3 years when they met Ratau. He took them in and brought them the holy scriptures closer, saying that he himself also doesn't believe in the gods but that the morals and allthat are good to follow if you have nothing else to believe in. Surprisingly this worked for Nanda too and they got a lot better, the traveling with someone trusted who wouldn't hurt them also helped. Eventually they came across Venzor, a small miserable village. Nanda decided to teach the people what Ratau taught them, that even if they don't believe in the gods they could take whenever they need for courage, comfort and guidance from the scriptures. The people found hope in that and the rest is history. As Nanda was talking Narinder moved to the chair himself, keeping the lamb on his lap. They kept talking, telling stories of their travels or telling anecdotes from the villagers etc. As they were talking they finally fell asleep. Carefully Narinder took them to bed, holding them especially close that night.

From then it only took like a month before the two of them finally admit their feelings. They're on the balcony of Naridners (by extension Nandas, they barely use their own room anymore) chambers on a beautiful, moonlit night. Nanda is very deeply in love with Narinder, but still believes Narinder dislikes theme so they keep quiet, the prideful prince however has run out of patience and decides to do it right then and there. He kisses Nanda tenderly, saying "There is no need for me to proclaim my love, as you are already destined to be mine to wed." Nanda tears up and hugs Narinder tightly. They kiss once more, then Nanda sobs in Naridners shoulder, then they kiss again. It was a very happy and tender night for both of them and the first day or two they full on embraced the honeymoon phase, actually going without bickering. However, they very quickly return to the status quo because that's just their thing and how they're the most comfortable.

Around 3 weeks later the two of them go to yet another crusade, that's how they call their monster hunting, and they come across a small, dilapidated village. They're on guard as they look around, allthough no soul is to be seen. Not until a man comes to them with painful cries. His soul is damned and incased in darkness. He begs for help and mercy. Narinder is ready to strike, as this old man is about to turn into a monster sooner or later, but Nanda stops him. They turn to the man and extend a hand, cleansing his soul with their magic. He thanks them very much before quickly leaving this damned place. Not long after a bigger crowd of damned people drag torwards Nanda, begging to be healed to. Selflessly they do so. By the end of it around 200 people are cleansed and went on their way, meanwhile Nanda's own light left their body, leaving their body slowly blackening as they collapse. Alarmed Narinder catches them in time and rushes back to the palace. They won't wake up and each healer, each cleric, declares they cannot be saved. They had sold their soul for black magic, this is the consequence for the magic kept gnawing at Nanda's soul and this overexersion made their fate final. They won't survive this. Narinder is heartbroken and doesnt leave their side. He barely eats, won't talk to anyone, he just stays as Nanda'a side, holding their cold hand or body tightly. On the fourth night Narinder recieves an anonymous letter. The letter talks about how there is a cure, but people using light magic deem it as unethical, as it requires a new soul, be it through sacrifice or a shared one. It requires the soul of someone very close to the afflicted, like family, very close friends or a lover, as a stronger connection will increase the success rate. Unless an entire soul is given no one will die. If Narinder is willing to do this, all he has to do is break the tooth in the envelope. The letter is signed with "the teeth in the darkness". Without much hesitation Narinder breaks the tooth. The next day he wakes up next to Nanda, they still show no sign of waking up but their body feels warmer and the blackening went back. Sorrowfully he whispers “how dare you leave me after i’ve finally made you mine? You promised to stay, yet you’re a liar.”, words he has said multiple times since Nanda fell ill, that now feel even heavier. Around an hour goes by, Narinder lets no one inside as he mourns his lover, when suddenly their breath slowly speeds up again. They move. Slowly they wake up. Narinder embraces them tightly. Both cry. It is a very overwhelming and emotionally raw moment.

Nanda makes a full recovery and the wedding is held a few months after.

And that's pretty much it! Again, in the background is a lot more going on but this is already long enough. If you have any questions feel free to ask!

[a66-1]

ive been deep diving into angst, and its pride month so... Fem!Simon angst heheheheh

Fem!Simon x Fem!Reader

tw: cursing, unhealthy fighting, unhealthy relationship, bad reader for being mean, bad simon for overreacting, bad communication, threatening eachother, and of course they are still together at the end because of drinking. you've been warned my dude. (NONE OF THIS IS CANON TO MY FEM!SIMON UNIVERSE! this is merely for shits and giggles)

You promised yourself you wouldn't cry.

Here you were, 3rd fucking day in a row, fighting with Simon again. Red faced and angry Simon, when really the whole argument was your fault. It's not like you meant to be a bitch all week, but.. You were.

None of your arguments really meant anything more than well, and then a boring excuse followed. A pattern you have, to just be all defensive and not really try to be all that constructive.

"I mean, shit, babe, just be a decent human for once!" Simon cursed, gesturing wildly to herself, "I fucking get pissy all the time, but you don't see me being a bitch about it!"

You scoff, crossing you arms in a defensive way. "So name calling is where we are now? Really?"

"Oh get your head out of your ass, you're more of a preschooler than me." Simon retorted, standing up. "God damn, why the hell do we have to fight like this?"

"Maybe because you get all pissed over nothing-?"

"Over nothing?" Simon is quick to interrupt, to interject. You nodded, staring at her like she had to heads. "So talking to another girl isn't anything to, I dunno, lose my head over?!"

"I wasn't talking to her, fuck face! You just didn't want to keep fucking reading into it so you made a fuckin' assumption!" You throw out a weak reply. "It meant nothing other than some playful banter, you know that."

"Oh do I?" She approaches you, grabbing your arm. You yank it away, only for her to grab both. "You're always causing problems!"

"You're always making shit into problems!" You counter, shoving her away. She shoves your shoulder.

"Don't fucking act like that."

You flip her off, before storming into your room. You two have been getting more physical, and it was obvious.

It was a toxic relationship, maybe you should try and look for.. An out?

Who are you kidding.

Simon drank heavily that night, deciding to sleep on the couch rather than see your almost cheating ass for the rest of the night. You, however, couldn't really sleep that good after the fight. Sometimes you wish Simon would hit you so you could have an out, because you can't really leave without both of your reputations going down in the friend group.

You climb out of bed, and quietly move to the couch, smelling the liquor radiating from Simon.

"Si?" You asked quietly, head lowered. She huffed a questioning sound, before you moved to sit in her lap. Her gaze darkened, and you cupped her face with your hands. You kissed her lips softly, before dragging your hand down her chest.

"I'm sorry. Can I make it up to you?"

im sorry, truly, lmao.

ilysm babes..

-a661

[gunsatthaphan]

~ Monthly BL Breakdown: May 2024 ~ 

🏳️‍🌈 Happy Pride Month!!! 🏳️‍🌈

Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post! 

New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns

What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)

🌟 You Made My Day (starring Tar A. and Bom T. from I Will Knock You) - May 3rd (Thailand)

🌟 Inverse Identity / Upside Down - Mary 3rd (China)

🌟 Wandee Goodday - May 4th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Dear Miss Becky - May 6th (Philippines)

🌟 Deep Night Special Episode - May 9th (Thailand)

🌟 A Balloon's Landing - May 10th (Taiwan)

🌟 City of Stars: Special Episode - May 10th (Thailand, cinema release)

🌟 The Time of Fever (Unintentional Love Story spinoff) - May 15th (South Korea)

🌟 Blossom Campus - May 16th (South Korea)

🌟 OMG! Vampire - May 19th (Thailand)

🌟 Pray in Love - May 20th (Taiwan)

🌟 Manji Reverse - May 24th (Japan)

🌟 My Biker 2 - May 28th (Thailand)

🌟 Knock Knock Boys - May 30th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Anti Reset Special - May 31st (Thailand)

Monthly Likes / Dislikes

❣️ My Stand-In - I've been liking this a lot and it's probably my favorite bl from this year so far. I was mostly skeptical of the reincarnation trope as I usually don't like that but I like where it's going. The storytelling is excellent, it's comprehensible and sends such good messages, it's subtle, not as in-your-face as other shows, they're not rehashing the same things and every character is believable and well-shaped, down to the smallest side role. The characters are flawed but so well-written that it's just a joy to witness them develop. That being said I wanna give a big shoutout to whoever was in charge of casting because the lineup is really top-tier lol. Every character is on-point thanks to their respective actor; Up is doing so well and also Poom is a very pleasant surprise. I love how expressive he is and him and Up work extremely well as a team imo. Also Mek as Tong is a good choice. Almost forgot what a truly good production looked like lmao. I'm in awe.

New series & movie announcements

🎥 Some Secrets in High School (mini series) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Street Fight (movie) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 See Your Love - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Century of Love - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Allure of the Siren - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Takara's Treasure - Coming July 1st (Japan)

🎥 Air Moment (starring Earth T. & others) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 The Paradise of Thorns - Coming August 2024 (Thailand)

🎥 Your Sky (starring Thomas & Kong, winners of the DMD reality program Friendship the Reality) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Hear the Sunspot (remake) - Date TBA (Japan)

🎥 My Idol - Coming August 2024 (South Korea)

🎥 Khemjira - Date TBA (Thailand)

Other news from the BL world

❗️ In a week-to-week-release, Be On Cloud announced the cast of the upcoming BL 4 Minutes: Bible Wichapas, Jes Pipat, Bas Asavapatr, Job Yosatorn, Fuaiz Thanawat, Mio Athens, Jet Jetsadakorn & Jjay Patiphan. A release date, as well as further information has not been disclosed.

❗️After the announcement of OhmFluke being the lead actors in the upcoming Korean BL Surfing, their respective managements released a statement saying the news were false and that there was never any contact between the companies nor a request for permission to issue the news.

❗️The annual KAZZ awards were held on May 14th. The following BL actors/productions won:

Net Siraphop - Actor of the Year

Bed Friend - Series of the Year

Pit Babe - Kazz Magazine Favorite Award

❗️ The 20th Komchadluek Awards were held on May 28th. The following BL actors/productions won:

Zee P. - Most Popular Actor

Nunew C. - Best International Singer

Fourth N. - Best Rising Star

JimmySea - Best Couple

❗️ Actor JJ Radchapon has been announced as Net's new partner in the upcoming BL Love Upon a Time. His original partner James S. previously dropped out of the project to focus on his music career. Shooting will begin soon.

❗️ Actors Kaownah Kittipat and Max Nattapol have been announced as the BL side couple in the upcoming period GL drama Mom Pet Sawan.

❗️ Actor Tang Chinadis has announced his departure from the upcoming BL Jack & Joker. He withdrew from the project following accusations of physical abuse from his ex-girlfriend Prigkhing S. (formerly with GMMTV)

❗️ After accusations of domestic violence against his ex-girlfriend, the charges against GMMTV actor Pawin Thanik have been dropped. The company released a statement saying both parties requested a mediation, after which they came to a settlement where both cases were dismissed. Pawin had previously been placed on work probation and withdrew from the BL We Are amongst other projects.

Upcoming series & movies for June

👉🏻 My Love Mix-Up - June 6th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Love Sea - June 9th (Thailand)

👉🏻 SunsetxVibes - June 15th (Thailand)

👉🏻 The Rebound - June 26th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Blue Boys Part 2 - June TBA (South Korea)

[themeridian]

Redacted bois birthdays

⚠️disclaimer⚠️ I’m not a zodiac believer but that’s all I had to go off of besides gut feeling so idk what to tell you

Gavin:February 28/Pisces(only reason is because I’m a theatre kid and in rtc Noel’s zodiac is Pisces,sign of passion)

Lasko:June 19/Gemini(I searched nervous zodiac and it’s an air sign I mean c’mon)

Damien:March 29/Aries(no that’s not my exact birthday and no I don’t kin damien why do you ask)

Huxley:May 18/Taurus(it’s an earth sign and it’s traits are reliable and loyal)

Caelum:July 11/Cancer(you cannot tell me this baby doesn’t give summer child vibes[not the Conan grey song])

David:September 4/Virgo(loyal,analytical,hardworking,practical and angel would so make jokes from that one episode of helluva boss)

Asher:August 15/Leo(one of my friends is just like him and he’s a Leo and also compassion,big-heartedness,and natural leadership)

Milo:December 3/Sagittarius(I still remember,3rd of December, me in your sweater…you get the gist)

Vincent:March 13/Pisces(hes just like Gavin but different so yeah)

Sam:June 25/Cancer(the healing zodiac and idk but it’s so funny to me that he was born in pride month)

Guy:April 1/Aries(he finds it so funny that he was born on April fools day but my personality is also a mix of guy and Damien so (: )

Ollie:July 19/Cancer(I’m sorry so many of them are Cancers but they’re one of the most affectionate)

Aaron:September 27/Libra(I literally searched tsundere zodiac and Libra fit so well for him)

Eliott:March 18/Pisces(artistic and compassionate??? Eliott.)

Vega:October 25/Scorpio(i searched sadistic zodiac and the first video of him was in the timeframe for Scorpio so his birthday was the freelancer video with him)

Blake:November 22/Sagittarius(very inquisitive and I haven’t watched all the videos of him so idk him that well)

Geordi:July 2/Cancer(I typed in most forgiving:((( hes also very caring)

I did this in class when I should’ve been studying for a test I think I ended up failing lol

[blackcatruse]

𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔞𝔰𝔥𝔢𝔰

«prev. ❃ next» ❃ first chapter ❃ m.list ❃ ao3 pairing: r. haitani/fem!reader ↳ she/her, fem descriptors, nickname ❃ chapter synopsis: questions need answers, and they must be obtained by any means necessary. working with the enemy? fine. word count: 1.5k chapter cw(s): swearing, possible ooc, joint dislocation, torture, implied beating a/n: rindou can have a little POV as a treat. this is written in 3rd person POV with reader referred to by her nickname

There were only a few sounds that Rindou Haitani could stand. The first was the heavy bass and high energy of typical club music. The second was the echoing clang of gym equipment. The third was the beautiful call and response of the pop of bones and the following screams. It was music to his ears, and perhaps it let him feel just a bit of smug pride.

Rindou, without a second thought, dislocated the man’s right ring finger. There was the initial pop, a moment of silence, and then a muffled cry. Fat tears were rolling down his captive’s flushed face. Once the scream died down in his throat, the man sniffled. Once. Twice. Too many times. Rindou gripped the man’s right middle finger.

“P-please,” the man stuttered. “Pl-please, I swear I don’t know anything.”

Was he telling the truth? Rindou considered it a possibility, but the man had eight other fingers that were still fine. After that, there were ten toes. Rindou could work his way up each extremity, snapping and cracking until the man finally broke. Judging by the man’s current state, Rindou figured he could at least get to one arm before he got any real information from him.

“I don’t believe that,” Rindou said coldly, yanking the finger.

The man physically jerked forward in the chair he was bound to as he shrieked. “I, I swear! They didn’t tell us anything. Who they were or what they wanted they just said to make a deal with—”

Another brutal pop and the man’s index finger was out of line. The thumb was the last one to go. Before Rindou could take hold of it, a low whistle sounded from behind him. He turned to see Ran, twirling his baton in a braid and dragging the unconscious body of another captive. “You’re being particularly cruel today,” Ran noted with a smirk.

Rindou watched as his brother tossed the limp man into Rindou’s victim’s line of sight. It was almost comical how afraid he looked. But Rindou didn’t feel anything like he usually would.

Ran came up and looked at the man cowering in the chair. “I’d say my guy was the lucky one here.”

“Did you find out anything?” Rindou asked, returning to the situation at hand.

A tired sigh escaped Ran’s lips. “Nothing. You?”

“Nope.”

“Well that’s a waste.”

“I told you we—” the man started.

Rindou was all out of patience. Running into Lotus only served to set him off, and there was nowhere else to direct it right now than at this idiot sitting before him. The man’s thumb was swiftly cracked and the man screamed until he sounded hoarse.

“I don’t think they know anything,” Ran said, putting a gloved hand on his brother’s shoulder. “It’s pointless to go further than this.”

Rindou dropped the man’s hand and let it lay limp, the fingers bulging at wrong angles. Ran was probably right. But then that meant everything they’d done was a waste of time. It was already a pain in the ass to chase those two motherfuckers down and figuring out that the effort was for naught? Rindou really wanted to break something.

Leaving one man bound to a chair and the other unconscious on the floor, the Haitani brothers strolled out of the warehouse. Someone would find the two men eventually. It was a nice day out, surely someone would be around. Rindou stretched his arms, feeling the tightness in his shoulders ease up. Maybe he needed to go to the gym and imagine Lotus’s face on the punching bags. Something about her just got under his skin and he knew she knew it. The next few months until those big jobs were completed were going to be a fucking nightmare.

Still, she would be out of his hair sooner than later. Maybe it was because of how well she got along with Ran. Rindou didn’t need two of his elder brother running around and tormenting him.

“What’s got you so riled up?”

Sometimes Rindou hated how perceptive Ran was when it came to his moods. Sure they’d grown up together and relied solely on each other, but Rindou would like to think he could at least have some privacy with his emotions.

“It’s nothing,” he gritted out. “I’m tired. I’m irritated that this wild goose chase went nowhere and—”

“It’s about Lotus, isn’t it?” Ran cut him off.

Rindou’s jaw dropped briefly before he snapped it shut and clenched his teeth together. “She acts like she’s hot shit. It’s fucking annoying.”

Ran’s eyebrows raised in a way that Rindou didn’t like. “So it is about Lotus?” 

Jumping off the dock was more and more tempting for Rindou with each silent second that passed by.

“And you’re sure it’s not because you’re jealous of my flirting?”

“I will throw you in the ocean,” Rindou threatened. “I could never be jealous of you flirting with her. It’s kind of gross, actually.”

“So you like her?”

“When the fuck did I say that? Asshole, stop hearing what you wanna hear.”

“Awwww, don’t pout Rin,” Ran cooed in the patronizing tone Rindou knew unfortunately well. “I can give you some pointers.”

“I’m not here to make friends with her.” Rindou crossed his arms, nearly frowning. “I didn’t even know she existed until that night, but apparently she’s a big deal? Whatever. She’s just a street rat.”

“For someone who claims to hate her, you sure do talk about her a lot,” Ran noted.

Whatever deity is out there, give Rindou the patience to not throttle his brother. Ran made him want to rip his hair out sometimes, but that would really just be letting Ran win. Rindou’s teeth ground together as he bit out, “Because you asked, dipshit.”

Ran chuckled and Rindou’s hands twitched at his sides. He was not going to strangle his brother. He was not going to strangle his brother. He was not going to—

“I think it might be worth it to befriend her, or at least butter her up,” Ran said. “In our brief encounter earlier, just bantering with her got her to spill some interesting information.”

Rindou scoffed, “Yeah, at the cost of her knowing that we’re dealing with shit right now.”

“Don’t be so shortsighted,” Ran chided. “Anyway, let’s get back to Kakucho, I don’t like that we couldn’t figure anything out.”

Kakucho inhaled sharply at the brothers’ report before dragging his hands down his face. “Nothing?” he grumbled. “Fucking hell, what’s happening out there?”

Rindou stayed quiet, letting his brother do the talking. He trained his expression to be blank and occasionally chimed in to verify what Ran had reported. Which is where they were now.

“I wish we knew,” Ran said nonchalantly. “But we did run into Lotus in Kabukicho.”

“You went into former Reaper territory?” Kakucho’s stare was unnerving.

Rindou squirmed a little, but Ran waved a flippant hand. “He hasn’t been seen in the area in a while. He abandoned his turf so the rest of us crawled in. That’s beside the point though. Lotus told us something I think may be of interest.”

Kakucho glared at Ran, but said nothing. The elder Haitani continued, “She mentioned that someone was trying to set Wuxing up.”

Rindou thought it was convenient that Ran left out the part where he told the girl what they were doing in the area. However, he wasn’t going to ignore the way Kakucho sat up a little straighter. “What an interesting development,” he murmured. His pensive expression didn’t last long before he glared at the brothers before him. “Why the hell would she tell you that? What purpose does it serve her?”

It was a valid question. Lotus had no reason to give away that information. She was clearly afraid of Wuxing, but fear wasn’t loyalty. Rindou didn’t understand her and it kind of made him feel like he was going insane.

“Would you believe that I sweet-talked it out of her?” Ran was playing with one of his braids like a teenage girl.

Kakucho looked at Rindou and upon seeing the flat expression, knew that Ran was, as always, full of shit.

“He and Lotus get along a little too well,” Rindou remarked dryly. “Their banter is obnoxious.”

“Building rapport is so important,” Ran whined immediately. “Who knows what else she’ll tell us if we just try to be friends?”

Rindou hated that Kakucho looked like he was contemplating Ran’s words. There wasn’t a need to become “friends” with someone from a rival gang. The deal was strictly about business. If anything, befriending her was more of a liability. However, Rindou did know that Lotus hated Wuxing more than she hated them, and they could use that to their advantage. But he wasn’t about to admit that out loud. In this particular case, emotions trumped logic and Rindou wanted nothing more to do with the Wuxing runner than he had to.

Please do not reupload, translate, or steal my work! If it isn't here or on my ao3, it's not me! Likes & reblogs appreciated! <3 Dividers courtesy of @/cafekitsune & @/firefly-graphics

[swamp-spirit]

Dipping my toe into the MXTX tag again, and it reminded me that I wanted to share my experiences of having to read around 500 pages of various REALLY BAD cultivation novels (for work). SVSSS especially relies on knowledge of shitty cultivation webnovels.

To be clear, I have a lot of sympathy for (some) of these authors. Chinese webnovel writers are often under brutal time requirements (often around 1-3K a day, 7 days a week, fully edited and posted) for very little pay. They’re also under government requirements and corporate requirements to write something that’s pre-proven to sell. You have to get well established to ‘earn‘ the right to experiment, and that’s a 1/10000 lottery.

That said, there’s a lot of authors who write some amazing shit within those requirements (the people who write historical revenge rebirth stories for women knock it out of the fucking park 99% of the time tbh). So here are some of my horror stories from my months reading bad cultivation novels. (warnings for sexual assault mention)

There are three types of men in bad cultivation novels:           1. Simpering lackies who do everything the lead says and feel lucky to do it           2. Comically evil bullies, physically ugly, always attacking women or simpering lackies. The lead will horrifically murder them casually.           3. Comically evil bullies, but hot and high status. The lead will horrifically murder them OR humiliate them and destroy their meridians (and they will be disabled, worse then death!)

Speaking of disability, and, unfortunately, not confined to this genre, replacing a mentally disabled person is a REALLY common setup. Either the MC is disabled through evil machinations but cured via magic at the start, or the MC replaces a disabled person. Everyone will be shocked, amazed, and pleased that they have been ‘fixed’.

Things are even worse for women. Women are sweet and innocent (romantic interest or little sister figure. Or both), doting caretakers (romantic interest, mother figure, or both), cold ice-queens (to cast their pride aside and become a romantic interest), or evil, sexy seductresses (to be murdered. Or seduced). Of the three novels I read the most of           1. EVERY SINGLE WOMAN was introduced in the exact same way. The lead would accidentally see her naked, she would unjustly attempt to murder him, and then she’d realize the truth and decide marriage was the only solution to maintain her honor.           2. Every single woman who showed up had dudes attempting to sexually assault her, from romantic interest to random village girl. Every. One. This dude could not go five feet without witnessing a sex crime.           3. This one just forgot women existed? And honestly? Thank fuck.

Characters advance via video game logic. For example, in one novel, the character Became Neurotypical, immediately murdered some dudes, stole their cultivation items, sat down, and meditated. There was no internal description on what he did to meditate, his state of mind, his faith, or his growth as a person just LITERAL CHAPTERS of describing his cultivation levels going up. “HE BROKE THROUGH THE 3RD LEVEL NOW HE COULD DO THIS IT WAS AMAZING AND UNHEARD OF“ That’s the entire arc. Character gets items, meditates, numbers go up, goes and wins battles by killing everything in one punch. And not in a cool, genre deconstruction way. It works on a logic where the main character can’t do anything ‘uncool‘. He can never struggle, even for a second. One novel involved every enemy (usually human) being turned to ‘meat-paste‘ with a single punch

You know when you’re watching an anime that needed to fill out runtime, so it keeps cutting between the hero and the villain and then somebody in the crowd going “wait, is he going to use a soul punch“, “that’s impossible, somebody that young could never use a soul punch“ “wait, how could it be“ “damn, I underestimate him“ “It’s a soul punch!“ “A soul punch!“ Have you ever craved that experience in novels? Yeah. Me neither

MYSTERIOUS FUCKING CAVES. One of the main mechanics for a character to advance is being taken in by some spirit or trapped god or soul sealed in a sword, but the primary mechanic is ACCIDENTALLY STUMBLING ON MYSTERIOUS CAVES OF RARE ITEMS. Often found when falling into a ravine and landing on a mysterious ledge. To date, none of these caves had any explaination or plot. The character just found a cool cave, took the scrolls/ate the rare wine/soaked in the magic spring, leveled up, and left. In one of the novels, by the time I got a good chunk in, the main character had stumbled into THREE DIFFERENT MAGIC CAVES. To be fair, the third cave did also contain a skeleton which put him in contact with a sealed soul who took him in so like, that’s something.

[princeanon]

As a treat, here’s an excerpt from a WIP Bencutio fanfic that’s been in my notes app for a few months

It was a well known fact that Benvolio Montague did not enjoy parties. The noise, crowds, and thick scent of perfume and wine buzzed under his skin and made his head swim more than alcohol ever could.

Of course, being an unofficial heir to the Montague family (second only to Romeo) meant that his presence at party after party was not just welcome, but required.

So he would smile through the noise, the crowds, and the adults who were supposed to be securing a future for their families, but instead stumbled about with alcohol on their breaths. However, that didn’t mean he would enjoy it.

Which brought Benvolio to his current situation; he had somehow found himself at yet another party. The only difference? This was a party he was certainly NOT welcome at.

On any other day, level-headed Benvolio prided himself on his rational thinking, and would not have even considered sneaking into a Capulet masquerade without proper disguises, or at all.

That being said, Romeo had cranked his moping level to a new extreme recently, and had spent the entire morning walking aimlessly around town with a storm cloud above his head. He desperately needed a distraction, Benvolio desperately needed him to stop complaining, and well, maybe Benvolio could use the distraction too.

“Figured I’d find you here.”

Is it just a retelling of I.v but gayer? Yes. Anyway I’m like, 2/3rds done with it so maybe it’ll go on ao3 eventually

[talenlee]

September 2024 Wrapup!

There’s often a joke about ‘wake me up when September ends.’ It’s a reference to a song, a good song I like a lot that’s about a meaningful emotional thing from a queer artist. Thing is, this September, nah, I didn’t want to sleep through any of it.

This September, I wanted to remember every night of it.

(Especially the 21st night of it.)

This month’s Game Pile articles were:

Apiary, a Stonemeier game of bees! in! space! that I found extremely good in all the ways that Stonemeier games tend to be good.

Infidel, and Circling to Failure, a classic infocom text adventure about how the game frames you as a crappy dude. The unreliable narrator and the failure end point has not been revolutionary for a long time.

Kentucky Route Zero and the Three Games About America, a video about finally putting to the page an incident that I think is hilariously awful and reflects the parochial vision of American centrism that defines games culture.

Pine Shallows, a really cool adventurey TTRPG!

Over in the Story Pile, we got

Girls Band Cry, a revolutionary 3d anime in that it’s not revolutionary just in that it looks really, really cool!

Manhunter, a live action movie about this ‘Hannyball Lecktor’ guy, and the way that, turns out, serial killers aren’t amazing superminds?

Hokkaido Gals Are Super Adorable, a tourism brochure for Hokkaido, a part of Japan defined, thanks to this series, by snow and massive tits.

Hoot, a Jimmy Buffett movie which of course I’m going to wind up watching because I am such a sap for Jimmy Buffett’s work, and the resultant movie kinda belongs in a sort of Pride Month closet key collection.

Then There Were Five, which goes up tomorrow and you’ll get to enjoy as I grapple with a classic novel from my childhood that set up a status quo and didn’t deliver on it.

If you come to this blog for worldbuilding, fantasy, and generic tabletop kinds of conversations? Well, I covered the Inevitables and Modrons from 3rd edition Dungeons & Dragons, the thing we call a ‘druid’ and where that fits in and out of character fantasy, and the way that convenient magic creates an everyday industry. I talked about how in Cobrin’Seil, the Ogre represents not a species but a choice, and player options for if you want to play a bird person, in the form of the Aarakocra and Harpies and how they fit into Cobrin’Seil.

In other articles, I talked about the fantastic event called ‘the miracle of the brick,’ some great anime OPs that outweigh the anime that they present, the criminality of Pokemon in the vibes they project, and some good, old fashioned complaining about a badly made ASMR video by a media mill called Chefclub. And, not related to that particular waft of internet fartings, I talked about why I am resistant to calling my own work content these days.

I also designed a set of shirts inspired by Animorphs:

a black shirt with white text reading ‘Jake & Cassie & Marco & Rachel & Tobias & Ax’

a white shirt with black text reading ‘Jake & Cassie & Marco & Rachel & Tobias & Ax’

a black shirt with white text reading ‘Jake & Cassie & Marco & & Tobias & Ax’

a white shirt with black text reading ‘Jake & Cassie & Marco & Rachel & Tobias & Ax’

a black shirt with white text reading ‘tiger & wolf & gorilla & bear & hawk & ax”

a white shirt with black text reading ‘tiger & wolf & gorilla & bear & hawk & ax’

There are more designs, which are present as a collection over on my Redbubble.

What happened in September? Work was work — fully online classes mean I spend lots of time inside and don’t have the time to get up to things between classes. That’s an interesting challenge in my day to day life that means I’m just not leaving the house a lot, something that’s bothering me a little. Walking the dog, enjoying the weather as best I can in the late hours I walk him – because the dog’s got anxiety – that’s something that puts me out in the air, in a space where I can breath cool air.

What else, what else…

Oh yeah!

When this post goes up, Cohost is two days away from being put into Read-Only mode, and it will be closed and deleted at the end of the year. If you weren’t on it, and didn’t care about it, Cohost was essentially a type of social media website that didn’t work the way any of the other ones worked.

There’s a lot of talk about Cohost that wants to compare it to platforms like Tumblr or Twitter or Bluesky or Mastodon but none of them were really like it. It’s much easier, for me, to tell you what Cohost did: It let you post some pictures, it let you post text, it let you use some CSS or HTML to do things that I understand were pretty fun. To me what Cohost presented as a platform where I could draft articles in public, where there was a commentary culture, and where people would use tags and spoilers to control and present what you were writing or making.

It was also, to me, most importantly, a place where a bunch of my friends were hanging out. Not all of them — it sure seems to be a place biased towards white folks — but it was a place where what they offered was a meaningful chunk of my friend group.

Cohost was a place where the kind of people I like to show things to, the people whose input matters to me, felt okay talking about things. I could get feedback and responses and interest (even modestly) and people weren’t afraid that William Rando Hurst was going to wander into the conversation and accuse them of hating waffles. I have a very small fund of money I think of as my ‘spend on the internet’ kind of money. One of the only places I spent that money was on Cohost Plus, which gave me access to, as far as I know, nothing. I paid for Cohost because I wanted Cohost to succeed, and I wanted people who couldn’t afford to pay for Cohost to not feel they had to shoulder a burden.

And it’s going away.

I loved Cohost, and I’m going to miss Cohost. I get to do that. I’m so glad I get to miss Cohost. I’m glad I get to think about the things that Cohost taught me about how to be a person on the internet and I’m happy of that. It showed me ways the people around me are creative and how they are sad and how they are willing to be when they don’t feel like they’re in risk of being threatened for existing.

I’m gunna miss you, Cohost.

Keep on eggbugging.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!