#im so exhausted i cant do this ! :) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

meziniart · 1 month

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my bf has informed me that Snake wears a corset so i made him this

#if the 2 lines they speak is out of character im sorry i cant do anything about it #“hey mags thats not a corset” shut up it is in my heart #tactical corset #this was made so fast im so sorry #i wish i took more time with this but im v tired so thats it for today #tbh i promised him i'd draw hal tying the corset thing up so imma still do that #with more time and less exhaustion #also heard it's otasune week????? we win!!!#anyways i'm blabbering #metal gear solid #mgs #mgs fanart #sketch #metal gear #solid snake #hal emmerich #otasune #otacon

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sporeclan · 9 months

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All grown up <3

#clangen #clan generator #warriors oc #warrior cats #sporeclan #only two of them got to get their names :((((((((#you all have no idea how much i wanted to instantly burst into tears when spottedfrost saw mousegrove doing her best. sobbing. wailing even #also i love you piperkit. she cant stop talking about snails ever to the detriment of her family's sleep schedule and i love her for it #sc moons #sc:mousegrove #sc:piperkit #sc:finchkit #sc:spottedpaw #sc:spottedfrost #sc:cliffpaw #sc:cliffthicket #sc:foxspeckle #sc:oakfox #sc:minklake #sc:fadedtuft #a little fun fact i looked through the files to see what mushroompaws name wouldve been and it was mushroomprance... so cute </3 #im keeping cinnamonpaw's name a secret for now in case he ever returns #edit: i forgot to add the ages and genders................ sigh.............. its what i get for drawing while tired and exhausted

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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the artblock be hitteth Harder than normal, for tis not normal artblock. woe. Wally be upon ye

#im still So Inconsistent when scribbling him #he never comes out the same way twice #but then again. do any of us?#anyway i think the Misfortune of the past week finally killed my brain #its a tiny smoking poppy seed resting in the middle of my skull floor #too much all at once. cant art anymore #i keep pulling out my tablet and setting up to draw #and then i stare at the screen feeling mild to intense discomfort #i try to scribble. it comes out Horrible.#i put my tablet away and go stand in the middle of the kitchen #i come back to scroll on tumblr #i feel Despair. rinse and repeat #scribble salad #is it distressing? yes! one more to add to the ever-growing pile!#i need to start pre-packing for my inevitable move #sigh... dont wanna go....#but its not like i have a choice! i quite literally have a single option which is to say! no option at all!#apparently if im in a constant state of severe stress for long enough my creativity completely breaks. shattered right down the middle #too exhausted. the Despair is too strong #and once again i am accidentally venting on a scribble post! sorry! please ignore this im just Saying Shit

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rapidhighway · 3 months

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i soooo wish i could be so enthusiastic about bugs and love them and think they're cute, there is nothing fun in being deathly terrified of them but unfortunately i am deathly terrified of them

#i think if a moth sat on me i would have a heart attack or a panic attack i swear i would literally just die my sound would leave my body #same with spiders and mosquitos and worms and butterflies and bees everything you can think of im probably really scared of it #and it is EXHAUSTING #literally so tiring but i cant do it i cant even get within like a meter of these bugs #i WILL hyperventilate

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puppyeared · 9 months

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i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand

#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona #its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around #one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them #making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth #i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since #memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an #association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont #fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell #on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one #dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong #despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them #interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing #i struggle find a balance between those two things #actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of #her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard #or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it??#maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard #although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh #yapping #oc talk #oc

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tianhai03 · 2 years

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zzz.....

#here comes my weird coping mechanism of drawing someone sleeping when im exhausted beyond belief myself instead of just going to bed #im so tired i wish i could just sleep all day </3 #devil may cry #dante(dmc)#allyart #i forgot to do tomorrow's hw but i think im gonna ignore that and go rest earlier today #cant be assed to think abt school when im eepy <3 im sure my teachers will understand

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milkweedman · 1 day

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Made another spindle. It's very small. Also very irregular and lumpy due to the wood (I wanted the raised brown lines to stay and erred on the side of caution in how much I cut away...but that did lead to a very irregular spindle).

It also wanted to crumble as I carved, so pretty much all the fine tuning I just did by sanding it, which helps to compress the fibers down as well as remove material without crumbling or splintering.

It really came to life when I oiled it. Probably will be best after a few good coats and some time. My woodburning kit seems to be totally gone, which is a bummer. So I'm not woodburning anymore.

Spins well. Obviously being so tiny and light it was always going to be a fine spinning spindle, but effortless thread from an unprepped piece of fleece is pretty indicative as well. I seem to find myself carving mostly thread spindles at the moment. They're always so small and light in the hand, they remind me of holding baby birds.

#hurt a lot and its the only physical task ive managed today in any capacity #and it exhausted me and im falling over frequently #just from walking the 20 steps to my lawn chair outside the gate and whittling a small spindle #my sister was suggesting activities we could do but they all require holding things really #can barely even hold my phone to type rn #i also cant stop wondering if each spindle is the last i will ever be able to carve because they are so difficult #and take a pretty heavy toll on me. really upsetting to think about because i love whittling #and in an ideal world i would spend a significant amount of time in pursuit of making spindles #but i can't and each one is more difficult and painful #this one i was wondering at what point it becomes unsafe because i lose precision with the knife #when the pain is so bad im dissociating #which i was #switched to sanding instead then #idk man. could i have a shred of certainty about my body ? is that so much to ask for ?#things change and get worse so rapidly i never even have time to adjust to my new norm #there is no norm just rapid decline #i wouldnt have pushed thru the hell that was my teens and childhood if i knew this was what was next #oh well. here i am. whittling spindles thru the blinding pain anyway #what else can you fucking do #spindle making #whittling #supported spindle #vent in tags

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skunkes · 2 months

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^_^

#very very excited about surgery like i know in a year it wont even be an issue and ill be extra happy i did it #I've kinda gotten past the anesthesia fear and i lived thru the MRI needle in my awrm so #the IV wont be too horrendous.#so right now my biggest worry is the After....#ive seen ppl say they were mostly resting in bed for like 2 or 3 days #and after that they just had to take it easy to get around but idk. im so nervous about That Part.#+ i cant. fall asleep on my back. lol. im terrified #i rly hope im so exhausted on that first day that i jst knock out upon getting home ykwim #being too aware of pain in the body makes me feel cornered in it sometimes ykwim. like i want to jump out of it ! nervous #i rly hope it doesnt hurt too bad!!!!!!! i know ppl say it feels like sore abs after workout but idk. idk nervous #talkys #especially since i have work to do! i hate feeling lazy. i dont even take naps bc i feel like its laziness i cant be out of commission for #a couple of days. WAH.#my friend had an adjacent surgery and said she woke up in a lot of pain! they obvs administered pain management #immediately but oh god. ykwim. im scared of waking up in a lot of pain being in a lot of pain

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possamble · 3 months

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Do you have any plan to make some kind of bonus chapter or oneshot about marcille's perspective in little creature? It's not like I'm asking you for it ofc!! it's just that i think it'll be interesting to read, and especially since you had those tags about marcille after her fight/outburst with falin and how you couldn't add it to the fic because the fic is from falin's perspective

Probably not about anything that happens during a little creature, but maybe something before or after? Sometimes I do like to do "the other character thinking back to events while doing stuff in a sequel" oneshot type thing, but we'll see how it shakes out!

#asks #a little creature #i will say #Marcille was firmly in denial and just Not Thinking About Her Feelings #the dinner scene was the first crack in her self delusion but it was still there #then the last chapter was it finally shattering as she saw Falin kissing someone else and experienced Elf Shrimp Emotions #just insane intensity furor and jealousy #she was about to fucking blow up #and then the confrontation happens and shes literally in shambles #cant think everything hurts #just barely scraping enough braincells to thank kiki inbetween enormous hiccups and sobs that shake her entire body #sees laios. slaps him. collapses into his arms sobbing and apologizing again #he cant actually understand what shes saying through the blubbering but hes doing his best to comfort her #to be perfectly honest im not 100% she even has the space to process 'i have feelings for falin' in full clarity #the 'why did seeing her kissing someone else make me feel like i wanted to die or kill someone' doesnt like... click #not until she gets over the mess of 'how could she say that to me didnt i do enough'#'didnt i love her enough does she care so little for me that she cant even bother to think about how i feel'#'does she care so little for me that she doesnt know that i would die for her i HAVE died for her and killed for her'#'how could she not know that she was nothing less than my whole reason for living for so long'#... i guess thats what shes blubbering at laios but it just comes out as like #'howcouldnbwhebwsbebwbendoesbdhemotbbwkowbblblbllvlbl'#snotting into laios's shirt #its ok. she'll be ok. like laios has to carry her back to her room because she latched on and didn't let go until she literally like #cried herself to exhaustion and passed out.#but she'll be okay. after maybe another day of moping she finally has her White Woman Moment of looking at herself in the mirror #and admitting that she's in love with falin and has been for a while

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llitchilitchi · 6 months

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I get hating certain political systems and trying to abolish totalitarian regimes but at the same time many of them are so interwoven with our history and society they have become tropes and when I consume media with a setting where the monarchy is absolute and revered then I am playing my part and sucking that princeling off

#litchi.txt #there are games that address this kinda stuff! and thats good! its good that there are games talking about how this is bad!#but at the same time when I go into a game knowing I will be the prince's sword and shield I dont expect the game to be anti-monarchy #despite having pretty strong opinions on many a thing I tend to put most of them away the moment I engage with media #imperialism bad. monarchy bad. doesnt mean I cant enjoy roleplaying in a game where I help these systems #because guess what its fictional and not everything needs to be a strong statement about politics #sometimes we just... wanna vibe with a setting #I am so very thoroughly exhausted from the politics in this country and where things are going I just kinda need that no brainer gameplay #even if it means working as the secret police for an emperor #even if it means replacing one dictator with another #because its still a game #a lot of people talk about imperialism-monarchy-colonialism with these things because they are a big issue even today #and they are important to talk about!! in real world!!#but I rarely see people be this upset about like religion etc which like. thats also a massive problem.#idk Im just tired of trying to look at fanart of all my fantasy medieval games and people being upset that the games #are not super anti-monarchy despite the marketing being literally 'you are the emperor's bestie. you help him out and go on a quest.'#'your quest is to manipulate local government to support the emperor and do his bidding'#like idk how That is supposed to be a game that addresses it properly #and maybe it does but ig since the MC doesnt look at the player and go REMEMBER KIDS! THIS IS EVIL AND BAD AND WHY MONARCHY SUCKS #it doesnt count??? I guess???

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macbcth · 4 months

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apparently nexplanon can reduce the efficacy of lamotrigine and my dr just didn’t tell me this. so now i get to play a fun guessing game of do i feel insane bc (1) nexplanon side effects or (2) sudden drop of lamotrigine in my system

#im so so tired #tired and exhausted bc side effects #tired at the medical systems #tired bc its finals season #i just cant do this anymore #i took 200mg of lamotrigine today bc i was like fuck it it cant make me worse #aisha.txt

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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never have i been so entirely exhausted from sitting in front of a laptop in a dark room for three hours gay! and so full of delight and happiness! like wow! i have not felt this good in ages!! and its a good kind of tired! i feel like im glowing!

but shit, the update is more than i could've dreamed of. like i said - three straight hours of combing, and i probably still missed a thing or two! i'm even saving the storytime audio to enjoy in the morning, i haven't listened to it yet!

i already have so many thoughts and emotions but i'm... so wiped out oh my god lmao. so much new stuff at once! i need to sleep on it all! and in the morning i will be more than happy to reply, interact, answer asks on this subject, share my actual thoughts - i just need to take the rest of the night to Process and rest, yk yk

and i know i "missed" some links on my liveblog! i know i know! i didn't add every single thing i found - like most of the Wally audios - because i'll be compiling them all into a labeled post tomorrow! when i wake up! i'm already looking forward to it <3 i'm confident i personally found all of them, though! i was Thorough! i went through everything at least twice, i tabbed through, i clicked on Everything...

but yes i hope you all are having a wonderful Update Day/Evening/Morning/Afternoon As The Case May Be. this is truly a delight and again, more than i could've dreamed of. i'd forgotten what it's like to be so wholly excited and delighted by something! it's been so long since i've felt this kind of genuine joy and whimsy! usually im white-knuckling my optimism and happiness but tonight it was all authentic 100% non-forced From The Soul!

#a very exciting day of Not Much Happening and then Everything At Once #the constant (joyous) stress over the update and then the intense euphoria of experiencing it....#very very exhausted i have no energy left in me for literally anything #a sleep will fix that though #and ill be back to Chatter and Ramble #absolutely unprompted #scribble salad #i cant believe we're only at the very beginning... there is already So Much!#so much good stuff! incredible stuff! monumental work! i literally cant fathom that this is the Tip of the iceberg! what the fuck!#but thats something to swoon over another day #we have the update!#a plethora of audio clips and new information to chew on!#but yes yes i will make a tumblr post with all of the links #in order! labeled! for your convenience and viewing and reblogging pleasure!#and a different post with my personal thoughts and emotions! i have many!#alright yes stepping away from the laptop now #water. teeth. cats. sleep. yes. totally going to do that.#i already know im gonna lay down get cozy and then my eyes are gonna Fly Open. Wide Awake #perhaps i should take some melatonin lol #i want to be able to wake up in a timely manner Well Rested and ready to compile!!!#a melatonin night it is!#but yes i hope you all are having fun!!!#feel free to shoot me asks and such! i am more than happy to Respond and Discuss!#i will be making my main posts / sharing my thoughts before answering anything tho lol i will say that now #that way i can say my piece #and then if i get any asks about something ive already covered i can just Link the Post!#for ease of all of us <3 #but yes goodnight!!!#i cant wait to scribble and talk and AGH!!!#to clown and everyone working on welcome home you guys are the fucking most and its just. its everything

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chiquilines · 1 year

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Alright guys, i hate hate hate struggling to find good fics to read (especially when it comes to wlw, wonder why) so have my all time favourite mha wlw fics!! Theyre all pg13 and very fluffy, cause im built different. They ALSO have the wlw ship as the central pairing, because i am sick of being an afterthought. Enjoy!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11751861#main momojirou pull an all nighter!! Reread this one at least 10 times what a classic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9539114 domestic pro heroes mmjr make me absolutely lose my shit, this is probably my top reread fic of all time it just never gets old. Theyre so sweet and its so gentle and they love each other so much

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8666509 momo goes fuckin apeshit for once (aka she runs from the cops after trying to speed to impress jirou)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25760866 Jirou got really fucked over by homophobes in middle school but good thing every single girl in 1A is queer, basically. This one is slightly less fluffy for fairly obvious reasons, but the happy ending is there ong

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22945576/chapters/54849307 this is THE most beautiful mmjr fic ive evr read. The author writes poetry, momo is a rich sheltered kid and jirou is a punk, and fate lets them cause chaos with the bakusquad

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34876642 miryumi princess bride AU like?? Could it be any more perfect?? I think not

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22245835/chapters/53119372 130k miryumi vigilante!fuyumi that is my favourite thing ever. The todoroki fam through her eyes is so well written, miryumi half-enemies to lovers was amazing, and it just read super nicely

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13700766 OKAY OKAY DONT KILL ME i know this is a tgchk household but tsuchako also hold a special place in my heart. Short and fluffy, like them <3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16654201 midjoke meet at the licence exam. Their relationship through the years. Theyre in love and domestic and sick of the media need i say more

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chiimeramanticore · 7 days

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#im not dead quit asking #I'm just really really really not doing well #sorry if i scared anyone. that wasnt my intent #things got. let's say worse. for me irl. more complicated for sure #i hate to publicize my breakdown I really do. but maybe i... need this? in a weird way?#i haven't really been adjusting well to having a platform online. that's not anyone's fault but mine ofc #i feel that my 'fans' (if ive earned the right to call them that) dont and frankly cant ever care for me as a person #i dont know you and you dont know me. you dont know all of me at least. just what i make public. what i allow others to see #i had it kinda bullied into me that i need to keep my mouth shut abt my own issues. and ive spent a lot of this year trying to unlearn that #maybe publicizing this is a bad idea anyway #I just know ive been more honest abt my emotions and my personal life with my friends and my partner #and not everyone enjoys it but i know I'm not like. traumadumping so i feel somewhat assured that anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt my life-#-probably wasnt all that interested in forming a close relationship w me to begin with. even if theyre friendly at first #everyone else; the people who I know care about me; have shown me that through their actions #my point is being honest abt how youre doing w other ppl is a good idea. revolutionary i know lol #and i still don't know a lot of you personally but #parasocial or not i got some very genuine sounding messages while I was gone. and i. feel really bad that i worried those people #I guess theres my proof that people would care if i disappeared suddenly. people would notice pretty quick it seems #im never gonna kms btw. even if i didnt have the support i have im simply too stubborn to die lol. to put it lightly #and to those who thought this was abt fandom drama: it's not. those who shall not be named are genuinely the least of my problems these days #I'm on a journey of self actualization. or something. im trying to get my shit together. im trying to stop being clinically depressed lol #but god keeps throwing wrenches in my plans and. i beat myself up about it too much #but that's just life. they say you make a plan and god laughs #im. trying to be okay with just riding the wave. im impatient but if i keep trying to somehow speed up time im just gonna exhaust myself #which I think is where im at now. burnt out #and on top of all that i still feel this need to like. perform for you guys #if i dont keep making content everyone will forget i exist. if i dont make another video essay this year can i even call myself a youtuber #etc etc. its the spiral its impostor syndrome we've all been there #im trying to end this on a positive note but idk. i dont have all the answers yet #hoping i figure it out soon. i hope you dont forget me in the meantime

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knifekris · 1 month

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every day i struggle to make choices

#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind #mostly because options suck #i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician #cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert #i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually #working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term #surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time #which is what limits most of my choices #i need to find more paid training programs i guess #if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself #but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late #i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly #acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying #it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics #but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever #i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training #because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for #and again #a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing #if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it #thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different #id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people #im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port #they were able to run like seven tests off of it #i had to use a couple ped tubes #she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier #labs are so miserable #checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world

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pxtched · 8 months

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“This whole school humps my leg, Like a chihuahua.“

QUEENBEE!READER X NERD!MIGUEL (Nerd!miguel credits: @nymphomatique ) ((sorry for @!!)

yes new series that I will actually try to do, and at least get to 5 chapters. Reader is like Mean girls and heathers mixed but I’m not sure which to pick from…though that one Regina line fits the reader mindset I’m trying to prove.

Reader isn’t a pick me, I don’t want them to be pink and act annoying. I need help on what to really do for the reader then I’ll get to writing!

If y’all want to be in a tag list or something let me know

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