#hoping i figure it out soon. i hope you dont forget me in the meantime

[chiimeramanticore]

[zulivaris]

Art Block tips that helped me

 I’ve recently experienced art block after 3 or so months of overcoming my last one. Thankfully this block only lasted a few days thanks to some things I’ve observed and noted down from the previous time. So I’m sharing these few tips in hopes that it might help someone get unstuck :D!

First and foremost if you’re tired, sad or anxious don’t be surprised that you can’t make art, go and take care of yourself by treating yourself with kindness and patience, the sketchbooks and canvases will wait for you :)

The tips are under here:

Separate art studies from the creative time:  When you do art studies you’re there to focus on specific things, learn and understand how things work so you can apply them later in your art. Studies take a lot of energy and focus and are the opposite of the creative "flow” of making your own pieces. If you combine the two the results are either unfocused studies or stiff drawings. When you sit down at your desk ask yourself “Do I want to learn something new or do I want to create something of my own?”

When you have an idea don’t be afraid of being messy: Let’s say you want to make a picture of several cats kolo dancing in the moonlight. How do you go about doing this? Well since you came up with the idea you already have a vague image in your mind, sketch it out with simple shapes, stick figures, circle and spheres etc Don’t worry about cat anatomy, or the dancer’s moves, sketch out the essence of it. This method removes the need to be perfect or accurate. 

Ok after the messy sketch then what? Well now that you have sketched out the essence of your idea (and hopefully had fun doing so) now you go on to look for references! You put the creative process on pause and you can do a few brief studies if you need to: anatomy, color schemes, values, poses. Pick out a few of your favorites but don't obsess over them, they are a guide, a tool.

You know much more than you think. You’ve probably been drawing for a few years now. You’ve probably done some studies and drawn more than one type of subject. Then you have already internalized some of that information. I used to be obsessed with capturing the minute detail of the subject, and not be able to draw ANYTHING without reference. Instead of a useful tool, references became another obstacle to my creativity. That’s perfectionism my friend, and that’s no good. Here is an exercise a good friend of mine offered: Draw a few characters, animals and objects from imagination. Make sure that the subjects have no personal value to you (no ocs for example) so that if you make a mistake you won’t feel bad about it. Make the process relaxed and comfortable, pour a nice cup of joe, listen to your favorite music ... You will notice that you do indeed know how to draw some things without reference, and it’ll help with your confidence. 

The more you do studies the more you understand This seems evident but the more you understand your subject the freer you can be and the easier it’ll be to draw it from imagination in the future. If you really struggle with something to the point of frustration (as in you can’t get it right even with reference) It means you have to study it. Have a study list, for example: hands, perspective, color theory etc. And one of those days you want to study pick something from the list, and look for videos on youtube or useful sites like line of action etc. Only study one thing at the time. You can go from studying hands to studying arms since they’re more immediately connected, but you can’t study hands and then jump to learning perspective right after. Trust me you can learn perfectly fine with the resources online, and I’m sure you’re clever enough to do it :D

Mistakes don’t mean you “suck”  I’ve noticed that the two most common causes for art block are perfectionism and lack of self-confidence.  The two can often go in tandem which is worse :’D But let me remind you of something, you can fix your piece along the whole process. Use erasers, lasso tools, liquify , select, paint it all over etc If something looks off to you then you also know deep inside how to fix it. Useful ways to see what clunks: flip canvas horizontally (helps with placement, proportions), turn the image to grayscale (helps to check values and where your eye tends to look), look at your image in thumbnail size and ask yourself if it’s clear, see the pose’s silhouette and ask yourself if you can tell what the character is doing etc. Don’t fret, everything can always be fixed :)

Perfectionism, sometimes it stops you before you begin Perfectionism causes you to overwork a piece, it makes you draw less, it makes art stressful, it brings insecurity. Let’s remove it with a simple exercise. It can be combined with the “draw things from imagination” once you’ve drawn something you like: dont do line art, don’t shade it, keep it as simple and crude as possible and then...post it. Yes, post it. You’re not at your best? You’re only human, this will help you embrace that very human side of you. You make mistakes. So what? The more mistakes you make the more you know what you need to study and the better at art you become. Mistakes are there to show us what we need to learn. See them as another tool and not a sign of failure.

Make the process as enjoyable as possible: You like art. You love drawing. Never forget this. Otherwise why are you drawing if you don’t enjoy it? It’s easy to fall prey to the mentality of those relatable memes that “art= suffering” or “I can’t even draw the other eye”. No no no my friends, these messages are fueling your insecurities instead of overcoming them. Let me tell you what, art is fun. It is. Art is fun, because I decided to make it fun again. And you should decide on that too. Personally I adore lineart but my hand-eye coordination is lacking to do it digitally, so....I just skipped it. Yes. I skipped it. I do the sketch, I clean it up a bit and then jump onto color which I adore. It allowed me to draw more and more freely. When I draw I listen to music, make strokes with the rhythm, I take breaks often and I drink my favorite iced teas. If you don’t like coloring do it in grayscale, if you love lineart then do that etc It doesn’t mean you won’t learn your weak points in the future with studies and practice, but you won’t let your weaknesses prevent you from drawing at all. No no, you won’t let them. You draw because you want to, despite of them.

Don’t wait for inspiration, provoke it  Inspiration is not a divine and capricious muse. You make inspiration. It’s easy just collect all the things you like, music, artists, objects, characters, animals, patterns, plants etc Make boards on pinterest or similar sites, combine things you like. You like suits? You like birds? You can draw a bird in a suit, or a bird-inspired suit design, there is frankly a lot of ideas that can spring up from little things like these.

When a project stops being enjoyable either pause it for now or move on to the next thing. Pieces aren’t precious. They’re not “the one time I got x right” they are one of many. This advice goes mainly to hobbyists who can afford the luxury of passing to a new project. I have a WIP of a character who is overly complicated (I enjoy a challenge from time to time) sitting for half a month. I sometimes come back to it and add something... but as soon as it starts to create discomfort and insecurity instead of enjoyment I move onto something else. In the meantime I created 3 or 4 new pieces. If I had waited on finishing that piece I would have been severely creatively and physically exhausted. The art comes from you, not inspiration. The more art you make the better you become.

That’s about it :D I know it’s long but I prefer to be thorough and cover all the possibilities. If you have read of this: Thank you so much I hope this helps you at least a bit, if it helps only 1 other person I’d still be very happy. Have a nice one, and kick art block’s butt!

[sero-sphere]

Fucked Up Love ‘Triangle’

so, i started working on this thing back in april ( hence bakugous birthday and the cherry blossoms ) it just took me a while to edit it. srry

anyways, this is like so self indulgent but w.e, still figured id share!

(f reader x kami x sero, seroxmina) it aint a threesome tho

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Slight angst, finger banging, weed, idk im bad at tagging (also were saying everyone is aged up so y’all can relax. like you were so innocent in h.s)

You were currently huddled up on the hammock with your favorite blanket, as Kaminari gently pushed you back and forth. There was music playing in the background, and a video game that had long been forgotten still displayed on the T.V. It was Friday night, and as usual, you and your friends were all in Seros room smoking together. Bakugou, and Kirishima had already retired to their rooms for the night, so it left just you, Kaminari, Sero, and Mina. The relaxing atmosphere was abruptly interrupted by Mina, who jumped up and startled everyone.

"BITCH, don't forget we’re getting our nails done tomorrow! I'm going to head back to take off my nail polish so it’s easier for them. They always claim they don’t charge extra for that, but I swear I think they do.”

"Ok! Text me!!! I probably will need a wakeup call after tonight!"

"Oh, I bet you will!" Kaminari said with a giggle. 

 "Hush, I'll see you tomorrow cutie!" You said to Mina with a wink. You couldn’t even bat an eyelash before she was skipping down the hall, off to her room for the night.

 "Why don’t you call me cutie?" Kaminari said as he got off from his position on the floor, and motioned for Sero to slide over, so he could claim Mina’s old spot on the bed.

"Because dipshit seems to suit you…"

 "Well she’s not wrong" Sero added, laughing just as hard as you were.

 Kaminari leaned back and sighed. “Whatever, I won’t be such a dipshit after my next study sesh with Yaoyorozu….when was that again?”

 “Tomorrow morning……she literally just texted you like an hour ago to make sure you wouldn’t forget? You’re not helping your case man.” Sero replied as he lit up another blunt and passed it to Kaminari.

 “Oh fuck! You’re right dude. I’m good for tonight I guess, I should head back so that way I don’t oversleep tomorrow…I might not make it in time for tea.” Kaminari was sporting his best puppy dog eyes, and pout. He motioned for you to sit down on the bed, and take his spot. He took one last hit, before he passed it to you and left, ( peering around the corner for Aizawa first ) heading to his room for the night, leaving just you, and Sero behind. 

You were seated over by him on the bed at this point passing the blunt back and forth. Both of you completely zoned out in your own little worlds. Sero leaned over to grab his water that was on the floor beside you. At first you didn’t really notice how close he was, but as he leaned over you again to put it back, his eyes caught yours. His face was so close, moving closer and closer, until it was like the two of you were moving in slow motion. Your body was just moving on its own at this point, and the next thing you knew you were in the middle of a heated makeout session. His hands started to caress your thighs, and you could feel the ever growing situation happening between his legs, his jeans were growing tighter and tighter. Your mouths were still too preoccupied to speak, and your hands still wandered up and down his body. Your fingers moved from underneath his shirt, back towards the straining bulge in his pants. You felt as his fingers moved your panties to the side, and he started to stroke you.

“You’re already so wet….is this ok?”

 You barely managed to mumble back that yes, it was indeed ok, before his mouth was on you again, kissing your neck ever so slowly. You couldn’t tell if it was the weed, or if Sero was really that skilled because not too soon after he got to work, you could feel your body start to tense in pleasure. After you reached your peak you pulled away to speak.

“Thank you Sero…let me…” You reached for the zipper to his jeans when you were both interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Y/N, it's past curfew and I can already smell what you guys have been doing. Go to your room for the night please, and next time you want to indulge in these types of activities, make sure it’s after I've already made my rounds. I’m giving you both the benefit of the doubt by not expelling you.” 

 ------

The next morning you groaned as you heard your phone ringing. You forgot you told Mina you needed a wakeup call.

"Hey. Cutie...dream about me?" You answered as you rolled out of bed to get ready.

"Heh, maybe, you dream about me?"

Your eyes widened, and you pulled your phone away to make sure you heard correctly. The voice on the other end was definitely not Mina. 

"What...Kaminari?"

"Yeah! I figured I'd call and wake you up. You and Mina have a thing and I didn’t want you to oversleep...."

"Thanks! I’m glad you called. I’m assuming you got up in time to study today?" 

"Yup, bright and early! Oh, and Sero told me what happened last night, you got lucky… "

“Wait Sero told you what happened last night?” You were definitely confused. You hadn’t even had a chance to talk to him about it yet and he had already told Kaminari? With your luck the whole class knew by now.

“Yeah, he said you ended up staying for a while, and Aizwawa caught you two smoking while he was making his rounds.”

You were relieved, maybe he didn’t say anything about it after all. You decided to ask just to be sure. “Oh, yeah…that’s all he said?”

Kaminari giggled. “Mhmm, guess we’ll just have to make sure we have Bakubro’s birthday thing a little later tonight.”

"Oh fuck. I completely forgot about his birthday!"

“Well, I didn’t get him anything yet either. Wanna come with me after you have your nails done with Mina? We can get some ice cream from that place you like on the way back?”

"Are you trying to ask me out on a date Kaminari?"

“Maybe…”

 “Took you long enough...”

 ---

By the time you had made your way down stairs after getting ready Mina was already waiting for you.

“Jeez took you forever!” She gave you a once over before she licked her lips and chirped “Wow, you look cute, whose is all that for?” You shot her a look and bumped your hip into hers, as she grasped your arms, and you both made your way out of the dorms.

“Yeah, I uh…. I'm going out with Kaminari after this, I'm a shit friend and forgot it was Bakugous birthday.” She knew just by your lack of eye contact something more was up.

She decided to test the waters. “So Kaminari huh? I knew you liked him, you were low-key jealous when he asked Ibara out at the sports festival.”

“Uhm, I was not!!” By the blush on your cheeks you both knew you were full of shit. “But in the meantime I have a lot to tell you about last night…..”

“Oh yeah, I heard that Aizawa caught you and Sero. You’re lucky you’re not expelled, girl.”

 “Yeah. Well about that……”

You explained everything that had happened to Mina on your walk to the salon. There was a lot to tell. You were so confused. You really had never thought of Sero that way before. Honestly, you really did have a huge crush on Kaminari, but you were sick of him never asking you out. He would flirt with everyone all the time, you were no different, but he never actually asked you out before. You figured there was no way he actually meant it this time. You weren’t sure if it was all just a joke to him. 

Sero was hot adamantly, and clearly you didn’t regret what happened between the two of you, it was just that, even after all that, you still didn’t think you liked him...at least not in a romantic sort of way.

“I think I was just horny more than anything else..” 

Mina laughed. “Yeah, Seros weed has a tendency to do that. That’s how Bakugou and Kirishima finally got together after all…”

 ---

 You and Mina arrived back at the dorms just in time for Kaminaris' study session to be over. Mina caught you as you licked your lips, watching as Denki winked and headed over to greet you.

“Oh, girl, you got it bad...I'll leave you too it..”

“Mina, I swear I'm never going to tell you anything again!”

--

Your ‘date’ with Kaminari went well. He walked you to a nearby shopping center, stopping for drinks along the way, and you both successfully managed to find Bakugou something he wouldn't blow up. On the walk back, Kaminari insisted you both take the long route, which ended up being the best choice. It lead straight through a park where you just so happened to catch the last of the blooming cherry blossom trees.

“Oh, Kami! I’ve never seen the cherry blossoms before...this is amazing!!”

“I told you the extra mile would be worth it!”

With him paying for your drink, and the walk through the park, it was actually starting to feel like a real date. Before you got your hopes up, you decided to ask him. You wanted things to be cleared up between the two of you, so you could then figure out the whole Sero thing.

“Uhm, Kami...is this like…. a real date? I know you said it was, but I didn't know if you were joking or not…”

“I know I joke around alot, but this is real...I mean, it's real to me! Why would you think it wasn't?”

“I dont know, you've just never asked me out before...you've asked plenty of girls...just not me…”

“Yeah, I get it. With them it was easy… I didn't really care if they said no or not...with you, I was nervous….”

So Kaminari did indeed ask you on a real date? You tried to push the whole Sero thing to the back of your brain and forget about it for the time being. You were having a great time with your longtime crush and didn’t want to face the aftermath of last night quite yet.

---

That only worked for so long. As you and Kaminari made your way back into the dorms, you both rounded the corner and ran smack dab into Sero. Who looked like he had seen a ghost. Your memories came flooding back and you immediately glanced down at your feet, hoping Kaminari wouldn’t sense the awkwardness lingering in the air.

 "Hey dude, whats up?"

"Oh hey whats up?" Sero wouldn't even glance in your direction. He seemed to be ignoring you completely.

“Nothing, me and y/n  just went out and got Bakubro some sweet gifts for tonight!”

 “Oh...yeah I forgot about Bakugous birthday...I better go find him something...peace”  Sero chucked up the peace sign and fucked out of there faster than humanly possible.

 “Well that was awkward….I wonder what's up with him?”

 “Yeah I wonder” You managed to mumble back.

---

All night at the party Sero was actively trying to avoid you. All you two did was get a little touchy touchy...it's not like friends weren't allowed to do that or anything. Hell, you and Mina even kissed before. Even you and Kirishima. (maybe that was just on the cheek but still) At one point he went out to smoke on the balcony, you took that as your chance.

"Wow, so I must really be a terrible kisser huh? You've been avoiding me like I have covid or something?"

“Yeah sorry...it's just…” He was cut off by the sound of the sliding door opening.

Mina went to follow you out there, but realized Sero was out there, and turned right back around. He waited awhile to make sure there were going to no more interruptions before he continued.

“It’s just... that shouldn't have happened last night and I'm sorry.”

“It's OK. It’s not like I wasn't willing...you don't have to feel guilty or anything. We're friends Sero I don’t want this to change anything....” You moved closer, and he actually looked at you for the first time all night. You could tell he was feeling guilty about something.

 “That’s the thing...”

 “What's the thing?”

“That we’re friends....”

“Yeah and??”

“And....I have a "friend" who really likes you and I should have been a bro, and fucking respected that. Fuck.” Sero hung his head low, and put out his joint, glancing out into the night sky over the balcony.

“Oh....” The two of you stood there in awkward silence. “Yeah...is that friend Kaminari?”

Sero looked back at you “Maybe….”

 “Well I really like him too...we went out today, and I kinda realized he's even sweeter then I thought.”

 “Oh, then what about last night?” 

“Just because I like him doesn't mean I regret what happened.  Ya know? I can't take it back. I get why it sucks for us though....I didn't really think about what he would say if he found out.” Now it was your turn to sulk.

 “Yeah me either. I don't want to hurt his feelings, or break up the squad.”

The two of you were too wrapped up in your conversation to hear the door open this time. You both jumped when you heard another voice coming from behind you.

“Damn...break up the squad, this sound pretty serious!” It was Denki, as if right on queue, he joined you both outside.

With a quick glance to Sero, the two of you decided it would be best to tell him together. At first he just stood there silent.

 “Denki?” You waved your hand in front of him. With no immediate response, you thought you broke him, your heart fell right into your stomach.

 “You like me?....” He finally managed to mumble out.

“Uhm, yes...I went out on a date with you today didn’t I?”

“But, you also made out with Sero…”

“Uhm...Yes.” You dropped your head low, too afraid to look him in the eyes for this. 

“And he fingered you?” Denki took a step closer to you at this point.

“Mhmm….” You felt so stupid, right when Kaminari decided to finally ask you out, you had to go and do something dumb like hookup with his friend. You were utterly defeated. Until he stepped closer to you and grabbed your chin, making it so you were looking him in the eyes.

“OK.”

 “OK what??” You were confused.

He smiled, and moved a stray strand of hair from your face.“Just OK…” 

Sero decided to speak up. “Uhm Denki? I don't think that's a valid response bro..”

Kaminari turned back towards Sero while you still stood there silent, feeling like you were hit with Todorokis ice. 

“Well ok, it happened...You guys are just friends and I know you wouldn't try to date her or anything.  You like mina anyway…”

“Wait Sero...You like mina???” Hearing that broke you right out of your trance.

“Well now that the cats out of the bag….” Sero sighed.

“What a fucked up love triangle..” Denki muttered.

“More like a square but...” Sero seemed relieved.

You glanced over at Kaminari who seemed a little confused. You leaned in closer to him and whispered  “because they have four sides…”

It was like a lightbulb went off inside his head. “Yeah so, like you guys kissed, and finger banged. No big deal.”

 “You’re not mad?”

 “No...just as long as I get to do that tonight?” He smirked and  walked forward to wrap his arms around you in a hug. “ I just want my turn is all…”

You returned his hug, and shouted as Sero was about to go back inside and leave the two of you there alone.

“Wait!!!I have another problem?” 

Sero stopped. “What’s that?”

“I kinda already told Mina what we did...but she’s not dumb, she knew I liked Kaminari before i even realized it.”

“OK....” Kaminari chimed in, not following where this was going at all.

“OK, so now I know Sero likes her!....And she knows what we did, I don't want her to think he's like off limits or anything…”

 “Oh yeah fuck!” Sero stomped his foot to the ground in frustration.

 “Why is your weed too dank dude? Swear it makes everyone horny as fuck.”

 The two boys stood there smirking at each other while you actually put your brain to work. “Let me think…”

---

 After a few drinks you ran up to Mina. "Hey! So I don't want you to think I'm a total slut or anything… but..."

 "Never girl! You do you!...You and Sero " She stuck her tongue in her cheek and motioned with her hand to make it look like she was doing something else.

“Oh my god Mina! No! So that’s the thing….I like Kami…” 

“I fucking knew you did girl!”

“I told him that, and I told him about me and Sero and he's cool with it.”

 “Oh... So now you're going to get finger banged by sparky?” She took another sip of her drink and looked at you expectantly...she was not going easy on your love life huh?

“That's besides the point..” You joined her in taking another sip.

 “What is your point then chick?”

You decided to finish off your drink before answering her. “I'm not trying give you my seconds or anything... Cause I swear the whole me and Sero was like an unexpected thing....But…”

 “But what!?”

“But I've been told that Sero might have a thing for a certain someone…”

 “Who?”

“You! You dumb ass!”

 “Sero...He likes me?” Mina looked like Kaminari did when he overused his quirk. 

“Yeah! I hope you don't mind. I didn't know that when he had his tongue all up in me yesterday or I wouldn't have done it.”

She thought for a bit before whispering “This is one fucked up love triangle!” 

You just rolled your eyes and watched as she downed the rest of her drink and bounced up off the couch.

 "Where you off to?"

 "Uhm? Do you expect me to just sit here after what you told me? Imma go get me some tape face action!"

 You flopped to the couch laughing "Oh my god Miina...So you're not mad?"

 "You didn't know. Plus you're hot, can't say I wouldn't makeout with you."

 “I’d pay to watch that…” The two of you turned towards the voice that rudely interrupted you. 

“Mineta!! Go away!” You and Mina shouted in unison. 

 Yep this really was just one giant fucked up love “triangle”

[breathinginthevapor]

Snowed in

Summary: You and Luke have the same friend group, but hate each other. On a skiing trip with your friends, you end up being trapped inside the cabin because of a blizzard, just the two of you.

A/N: Who doesn’t like 7.5k words about the amazingly cheesy subject of enemies-to-lovers? It’s cute, it’s fluffy, it’s hella long, so I think you should give it a read and tell me what you think! I’m still practicing writing long things where there actually happens somethng but I’m excited about this, also because I’ve finished this much faster than my usual writing. Enjoy!

T/W: mentions of alcohol, (very) slight nsfw, fluffff

Masterlist

He sighs annoyed, frustratingly running a hand through the curly blond locks, “Why does this seem awfully much like something our friends would do?”

“Oh yeah, I can’t believe I forgot our friends are all magicians who have summoned this blizzard and trapped us here,” you sarcastically snort and roll your eyes at his terrible stupidity.

Idiot

He mirrors your expression, blue irises turning towards to the ceiling as he reasons with a voice that sounds like you’re a child that doesn’t understand the simplest mathematical formula, “I’m not saying that, you wombat-”

“Wombat? ‘the fuck do you mean?” you interrupt.

“Australian curse-word for a stupid or slow person,” he explains with an arrogant smile playing on his lips before continuing, “As I was saying, they could possibly have seen a warning about the blizzard on the news and then go out for ‘sightseeing’ in a town where we all know there’s absolutely nothing even remotely exciting and oh, how convenient that they’ve put the two of us on cleaning duty in the meantime.”

He pauses to take a breath, expression smug.

Ugh, he’s such an ass

“They just had to hope that the blizzard would actually arrive and snow us in.”

You hate to admit it, but he has a point

Damnit

Besides, it’s true. Your friends have been trying to ease up the tension between you and Luke for a long time, and, knowing your friends, it would only take a certain amount of time for them to go to extreme measures.  

You sink down onto the sofa with a growl, not even trying to hide your frustration. It’s no secret you and Luke don’t exactly get along.

Some of your best and closest friends call him their brother, basically family after being in a band together for so long, but you’ve always thought their fame and success have gone to that pretty, little head of his.

Because it is pretty, his head.

Just like the rest of his body, if you’re being honest.

Pretty might even be an understatement.

He’s fucking gorgeous.

But he’s still an arrogant, self-centred, insolent, intolerable piece of shit, and you can’t believe you’re snowed in with him, of all people. This can’t possibly get worse.

Just as the thought passes through your head, you’re proven wrong when the light turns off.

“‘ucking hell, please tell me that wasn’t the electricity switching off right there,” he pleads desperately, using his incredibly long legs to reach the light switches with only three steps.

He pushes the buttons over and over, but nothing happens.

“Cut it, Luke, it won’t work.”

He doesn’t look like he registers your words as he keeps hitting the switches. Still, nothing happens.

“Save that energy for something else. If the lights are out, we’ll have to find some candles. It’ll start getting dark soon.”

Finally, he stops his movements and turns to look at you, biting his lip angrily, although you get the feeling he isn’t angry at you, but more at the circumstances.

“If you search the kitchen and bathroom, I’ll check the rooms and then we’ll make a plan for everything else, alright?” you propose, and though he certainly doesn’t look content with you taking control, he obeys and starts to search through the drawers.

You get up yourself, first walking into the room Ashton shares with Calum (you swear, those two will end up getting married someday) finding nothing remotely similar to a candle, even checking Ashton’s suitcase for one of those scented ones he always freaks out over.

Then, you check the room you share with Crystal (it’s been decided that Mike and Crys aren’t allowed to share a room because then none of you will get any sleep having to listen to them “bone” (Ashton’s term, not yours) all night) but there’s nothing candle-like in there either.

Before searching through Luke and Michael’s room, you walk into the empty one where Roy and Mitchy were supposed to sleep. Unfortunately, they got sick just before you left, both suffering from high fever and nausea. You’re guessing that they probably shared a kiss last time you all went out and ended up infecting each other.

Lastly, you search through drawers and suitcases and cabinets and under piles of dirty clothing, but in the end, you have to give up and cross your fingers that Luke has been luckier than you.

Just the thought of him makes your blood boil with anger.

But just like it seemed like his anger was directed towards the situation and not you, yours are set ablaze by the thought of your friends scheming this.

They’re all dicks, and you hope they freeze terribly

Speaking of freezing, isn’t it getting kind of cold in here?

You gasp, the realization hitting you.

“Luke!” you yell, forgetting all about your irritation towards the blue-eyed musician and instead focusing on the problem in hand.

“Yeah?”

His voice sounds muffled and weird, which makes sense when you walk back into the living room and see his long body leaning towards a cabinet. It seems like his whole head is in there, and you can’t help but laugh at the sight of him, posture reminding you of an ostrich.

He tries to escape but bumps his head against the top of the cupboard, letting out a loud groan and a string of curses.

Perhaps it wouldn’t normally be this funny, but with the adrenaline pulsing through your body, you crack up with laughter. It doesn’t get better when his head finally escapes, cheeks painted with a deep red blush.

“Did you find any candles?” he questions, voice stern but with a tone of embarrassment as he changes the subject of attention away from his own clumsiness.

It surprises you how easy you find it to read him. You shouldn’t know him that well, you don’t.

So why do you immediately conclude that the way he scratches his neck and licks his lips mean he’s uncomfortable?

To be fair, those things could be explained by the fact that they are universal behavioural patterns, but that doesn’t reveal why you feel the sudden urge to hug him, or why you even notice them in the first place.

Weird

You remind yourself that he asked you a question, and that it’ll be even weirder if you just stand here in silence, so you clear your throat, “No, did you?”

He shakes his head, curls bopping lightly.

They look reallyyy soft

Wow, Y/N, get a grip

You curse yourself far away and the assure your very worried brain that these thoughts only are caused by the knowledge that Luke will probably be your only company for many hours to come and maybe also the fact that he looked kind of cute when he got flustered and clumsy and yeah, you’ve always had a thing for cute, clumsy boys tripping over themselves or something so it’s probably nothing more than that or anything to worry about.

You take a step back, so your upper thighs are pressed against the dining table. You jump up, bum now placed securely on the table and feet dangling back and forth.

You’ve spent enough time fawning over Luke’s pretty face now, you decide, and so, it’s time to address the concerning realization you made before.

“So, I just realized that it’s getting colder in here and that the heaters probably shut down along with the lights.”

Almost by cue, you shudder, goose bumps rising on your skin at the cold air.

“We should probably try to light the fireplace if we don’t want to freeze to death.”

You glance at Luke, trying to figure out how he receives your words. Fortunately, he seems to agree, nodding his head slightly which gives you the courage to continue.

“You look like a boy scout type, so if you do that, I’ll try to message our friends and assure them we’re OK, so they don’t get worried,” you pause, wrinkling your nose and furrowing your eyebrows. “If the electricity is out, we can’t charge our phones.”

He snorts, rolling his eyes at you and immediately, he goes back to the Luke you’ve grown to hate.

Brilliant

“Outstanding observation, Ms. obvious,” he mocks you, and it makes you want to hit him.

Preferably in the balls so he’ll never get the chance to produce babies and make the world a worse place with his offspring.

Prick

“And also, did you just say that I look like a ‘boy scout’? First of all, that’s very prejudiced of you, and second of all, that’s certainly not what the beautiful blonde in my bed said this Tuesday morning.”

“Just shut up and do your job, Hemmings,” you command with a sigh, sliding down from the table while trying not to think about Luke and some pretty girl naked.

The thought makes your stomach churn, but it’s probably just the thought of your arch-enemy naked.

Disgusting

You grab your phone from the kitchen counter, relieved to find that there’s at least 20% back on it.

Finally, some good news

But while ignoring Luke’s quit mutterings about you being dominating and annoying as he throws wood into the hearth, you see your battery percentage fall to 12% and realise that you’ll have to be quick, ignoring the many calls and text from your friends.

“We’re snowed in but alright. electricity out so no phone charging. pls come back soon so we dont kill each other - luke and y/n”

You send the text to Ashton (figuring he’s the most responsible) just before your phone shuts down, screen turning black.

You sigh. No entertainment left besides Luke.

How fucking great

“Luke? How much battery does your phone have left?”

His gaze stays fixed on the hearth as he shrugs, back still turned towards you.

“Dunno. Think it’s on my bed.”

But to make things even worse, Luke’s phone is just as dead as your own. All contact to the outside world is cut off.

You sink down onto the floor, resting your face in your hand and trying to gather energy for this. Perhaps you should hide the knives somewhere or throw them out into the snow so none of you gets stabbed before the others get back.

“The fire’s looking fine, if my boy scout knowledge is anything to go from,” Luke mockingly announces, emphasising your former words.

There’s a pause where none of you say anything, only the low sound of snowflakes hitting the glass breaking the silence before he clears his throat, tone shifting to a softer one as he checks, “Hey, you’re ok?”

You can hear him come closer, the floor creaking beneath his feet. Then, you can feel his body right beside you, legs almost touching.

You look up, the worried expression on his face surprising you.

You swallow a lump in your throat and nod, “Yeah. Yeah, ‘m alright. Jus’ worried.”

He shoots you a small smile, one of the corners of his mouth more upwards than the other. It looks cute, actually, like he’s a young boy.

Oh God, Y/N, this need to stop

“It’ll be fine. The snow will be gone soon and then the others will come back,” he soothes.

You nod, biting your lip. You don’t dare to say anything, though, scared that you’ll cry if you do.

“Shame we don’t got any booze. Could ’ave been fun.”

You both chuckle.

“Yeah. It could,” you agree.

“What’s the plan now, scout leader?” he jokes, hitting your shoulder playfully with his.

“Think ‘s just called a scouter, Luke.”

He acts offended, mouth agape, “We’ve established that I’m the experienced scout here, so I think I’m right.”

You laugh at his exaggerated expression, “Alright, alright, boy scout. I think we should grab our mattresses and lay them in front of the fire to stay warm and then eat some leftovers.”

He salutes, standing up and exchanging his hand to you, helping you up as well.

You can’t help but notice how the air between you has changed, how none of you are annoyed by each other right now, and that he even comforted you.

It must be the weird circumstances you are in, and you must admit that it’s more tolerable to be stuck in the cabin if you’re on good terms with your “inmate”.

“See you in five,” he says as you walk out the door.

You turn your head, smiling and nodding at him before going to your room to move your mattress.

Turns out, mattresses are surprisingly heavy, and although sweat are beginning to appear on your forehead, you’ve only carried it a couple feet so far.

“Need help?” Luke offers, as he pops up in your door frame.

You’re about to snap at him, the exercise making you irritated and increase the risk of falling back into old habits, but then you take a deep breath and put on a forced smile, “‘s alright, I can do it myself.”

He starts laughing, especially when you grunt, out of breath, “Sure looks like it.”

The frosty stare you give him stops his laughter, though. “Alright, you may help,” you accept through gritted teeth.

“Since you asked so nicely,” he sarcastically agrees and rolls his eyes at you, but nonetheless grabs the farther end of the mattress and lifts it with ease.

Show-off

With Luke’s help, it doesn’t take long before your mattress is placed in front of the hearth, across from Luke’s.

“I’m gonna change into something more comfortable,” he announces, disappearing into his room, and you follow his lead, searching through your tiger-striped suitcase.

You settle on an old band shirt you stole from Michael once and a pair of black leggings that makes your ass look good.

Never hurts to look cute

But as you have stripped yourself of your jeans, bra and sweater, you suddenly hear a quiet voice behind you.

“Shit.”

You quickly pull the band shirt over your head and turn around, knowing that the fabric will cover you up from your neck to the top of your thighs.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t-” Luke gulps visibly, his Adam’s apple bobbing, “Is that-” he clears his throat, “Is that my shirt?”

A breath gets stuck in your throat as you look down.

“No? It’s Michaels?” you deny, but it sounds like a question, and you realize that this might not be Michael’s old shirt after all. Actually, now that you think about it, you kind of remember Luke wearing it once.

Well done, Y/N

He chuckles awkwardly, scratching his neck.

“Um, no. That- that isn’t- that’s my shirt. I think I left it at Michael’s once and then couldn’t find it, so um, that’s probably why,” he rambles, cheeks pink.

You feel the blush on your own cheeks, heat rushing to your face.

Fucking great

“Do you- do you want it back now or?” you then question, not knowing why the prospect of letting go of the shirt seems even harder now that you know it’s his.

Fortunately, he shakes his head, “‘s alright, you can keep it. Don’t listen that much to them anymore, and it definitely looks better on you anyway.”

The last comment just turns his cheeks even more red.

“Thank you,” you mumble, looking down, “would you- would you mind? I still need to put on pants.”

He nods, whole face now painted red as he closes the door gently behind him.

Oh lord. Luke fucking Hemmings just saw you in nothing but panties

It takes you unusually long to put on the leggings, using the few extra minutes to get your brain and heart beat under control.

“Wanna get something to eat?” you ask once you’ve entered the living room, your voice clearly startling Luke as he jumps.

You laugh, and it only makes you laugh harder when he eyes you like you’re his next murder victim.

“Sure,” he grumpily agrees, standing up from the mattress.

How can he look so good in pyjamas? Unfair

He’s wearing grey sweatpants and the 5sos rose hoodie you’ve had your eyes on since the boys released their new merch, and he looks terribly cuddly.

“Is lukewarm lasagne our only option?”

You nod tiredly, grabbing the lasagne from the non-functioning fridge.

“Can I get you anything to drink? Almost-sour milk, coke completely void of fizz or Ashton’s weird cranberry juice?” you jokingly offer, talking like you’re a servant in a restaurant.

He chuckles, shaking his head, “Think I’ll stick with water.”

“Such a bore.”

“Oh, what are you gonna have, miss exciting-choice-of-drink?”

You slowly walk closer, sensually eyeing him and forcing yourself to pretend you’re trapped in a female version of Magic Mike.

“I’ve heard celebrity saliva taken directly from the source should be incredibly… tasty.”

You lick your lips, and he lifts his eyebrows with an amused expression

“Oh, you have?”

Why do you always do weird shit like this?

You lean closer, you lips only inches apart from Luke’s when you suddenly take a step back and speak with your normal voice, “Yeah. But not if it comes from arrogant, blond assholes, and I’m not taking any chances today.”

He laughs, “Yeah ‘cause I’m the arrogant one here.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you question, sensing a small hint of truth although his joking tone.

He shrugs and looks at you like he doesn’t know if you’re being serious.

You think he’s going to say something when he swallows, but the silence continues until you’ve grabbed your plate with lasagne and gone back into the living room.

“Don’t think I’m letting you go this easily, Hemmings. I’m just too hungry to perform a full interrogation right now.”

You playfully point at him with your index-finger, but it only makes him rolls his eyes at you with a wry grin.

“Can’t you just decide if you wanna be a scout leader or a police officer?”

His reference to the earlier joke makes you laugh, the air between you now light and friendly in a way you’ve never experienced with Luke. On the contrary, with him, it’s always been hostile and tense. And to be honest, you don’t really know how to act around him when it isn’t.

You’re still deep in thought when the two of you sit down by the fire, soon feeling your skin tingle with warmth.

As you eat the food in silence and drink a bit of water (your choice of drink ended up being just as boring as Luke’s), your eyes fixate on the flames.

“It’s quite beautiful, isn’t it? The fire?” you whisper, your calm tone matching the feeling in your body.

There’s something about watching the fire that gives you peace. It’s amazing to watch how the flames are almost purple in the middle and then turn more orange at the ends.

“It is,” Luke mutters, sounding like he’s out of breath.

You turn your head and look at him to find him watching you instead of the flames. But as soon as your eyes meet his, he turns his gaze away.

Huh. Weird

You place the empty plate on the floor beside you, not having the energy to clean it right now.

“What time is it?” you ask, suddenly feeling kind of sleepy.

Luke looks around, eyes landing on the clock above the pistachio coloured armchair.

“About ten p.m.”

“It’s been a long day,” you yawn, not even embarrassed to be tired so early. It’s truly been an eventful day with skiing in the morning and then this mess with getting snowed in.

“Already tired of my great company?” he jokes, but you sense a tone of worry.

You shake your head with a tired smile, “Surprisingly not. You’re actually not that bad, Hemmings.”

“Wow, thank you. That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” he chuckles.

“Nooo it isn’t. I’m nice all the time,” you protest with a childish whine, sliding beneath the blanket and placing your head on the pillow with a content sigh. It feels good to be laying down, finally.

His cough is so overstated you immediately know it’s fake.

“Funny,” he states dryly.

You turn your head to look at him, trying to figure out if he’s joking.

“Aren’t I nice?” you then question, your genuinely worried tone seemingly surprising the blond.

“Well, you are right now. Still a pain in the ass, but nice enough,” he winks at you at his last words, and you throw a decorative pillow at him and giggle at the grimace he makes.

After a couple seconds, he elaborates, “But I dunno, nice isn’t really the word I’d use to describe your usual self. Not with me, at least.”

His last words are said lower than the rest, causing a hint of guilt to appear inside you.

You rest your head in your hands, elbows on the pillows.

“But you’re the one who isn’t nice!” you argue, and he looks at you with his eyes screwed up tightly.

“Only because you’ve been mean to me ever since we met.”

“What? I was mean to you? You started it!”

You realise how childish you sound, but it really is his fault.

Isn’t it?

“No, you did. Don’t you remember? Crys introduced us at that weird western bar, and you wouldn’t even talk to me the whole night, only the other guys.”

You can’t believe that his view on the night you met is so different from yours.

“I tried to! But every time I said anything to you, you looked at me like I was stupid and continued playing candy crush on your phone, and when-”

“I did not!” he cuts you off.

“Yes, you did! And I felt so rejected ‘cause I thought you were soooo hot and when I asked if anyone wanted to dance and looked at you only, you just grunted and left to get a drink!”

Fuck. You did not just say that

You did not just admit to Luke that you think he’s hot

He seems to have noticed, too, a smug grin playing on his pretty pink lips.

“You think I’m hot?”

“Thought. Past tense,” you dryly correct him, already growing annoyed at him again. Scratch everything you’ve though tonight about him not being as bad as you thought. He’s still an ass

“Sure about that, babe?”

His arrogant tone sets you off, making you abruptly stand up from your mattress.

“Don’t you fucking babe me, Hemmings. I’m not one of your goddamn groupies.”

Your words are spiteful, eyes blazing, and you enjoy seeing him squirm. He soon regains his confidence though, eyes cocky as they lock with yours.

“Just admit it, and I’ll show you a good time. We have all night, babe.”

You look at him with disbelief, and you see it in his face that he knows he’s crossed the line. Big time.

“I’d rather die, thank you.”

And you turn on your heel, ignoring his calls for you as you slam the door to your room behind you.

Normally, you’re down for weird, sexual jokes, but this one, with Luke, crosses the line. It’s a mix of tiredness, your low energy level making you react more extremely to things you wouldn’t be bothered by normally, and the fact that you finally bared yourself to Luke, and he was a dick about it.

To your own surprise, you feel your eyes turning wet.

You know you’re overreacting, and that it’s a stupid little thing, but when he knocks on your door, you still yell at him to go away.

Nonetheless, he doesn’t. Instead, he closes the door quietly behind him and walks over to where you sit on your bed.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. For being a dick. An utter, complete dick.”

You can’t help but laugh at his choice of words, but because you’re crying, it sounds more like a grunt.

“Can I sit down?” he then requests, voice apologetic and gentle.

You nod, trying to dry your eyes with the back of your hands.

“It’s alright,” you hiccup, “‘m just overreacting.”

He shakes his head, removing your hands from your face and taking them in his instead, “No, you’re not. I dunno why I said those things, but you have every right to be mad and hurt by it.”

Perhaps he’s not as big an idiot as you thought. Also, is it just you or are his hands really soft? Like, not soft-soft, because his fingertips are a bit rough, probably caused by playing guitar, but the warmth of his hands is really nice against yours

Shit, your emotions are a rollercoaster today. Must be the whole snowed-in thing

“‘s just been a weird day, I guess,” you assure him, when you’ve got your sobbing under control.

“It really has,” he giggles, and you’re surprised by how cute it sounds.

There are so many parts of him. The cocky, mean one he usually is around you. The confident, talented, charismatic one you’ve seen him transform into on stage. The beautiful, funny one you’ve met today along with the cute, clumsy one that’s also peaked up today.

You definitely like the two latter best.

“I’m already cold again. Can we go back to the hearth and forget this ever happened?”

He nods, relieved, and lets go of one of your hands when he stands up. However, he still has hold of one of them, guiding you back. It feels a bit sweaty, but you don’t mind. At all. Actually, it’s nice and gives you a calm feeling in your stomach. Like everything’s going to be ok, and your friends will reach you soon.

And like there’s a small part of you that hopes they won’t get here too fast.

But nobody needs to know that

He only lets you go once you’ve returned to your mattresses, but then you stand up again.

He looks at you like one big question mark, and if you weren’t so exhausted from all the crying and fighting and general weird things today, you would have laughed.

“I need to brush my teeth.”

He nods, standing up as well and following close behind you on the way to the bathroom.

Should you take his hand? You want to take it, but would it make things weird?

Before you’ve decided on anything, though, you’ve reached the bathroom.

“‘m jus’ gonna go get my toothbrush from the other bathroom,” he states, quickly disappearing and then reappearing just as fast.

You’re the first one to make a weird face in the mirror, causing him to crack up laughing and spit toothpaste on the mirror which only makes you laugh so hard you almost swallow all your own toothpaste. Then, it becomes a contest to see who can keep a straight face when the other makes a particularly ugly grimace.

When you’ve finally spit out in the sink, your body feels relaxed and your eyes shine with amusement.

This mess definitely hasn’t been as bad as you thought it’d be.

You both crawl underneath your blankets after he has put more fire in the hearth to prevent it from dying.

You pull the blanket up, so it rests right beneath your eyes, returning the stare he shoots you.

“This has been a surprisingly not-awful day,” he admits, words making you laugh.

His face is lit up by the fire, painting his face with golden light while his lower body is shadowed. The colour makes him look almost angelic, like a sunset. He’s even more beautiful than normally.

You just hope you don’t have to pee tonight, because the fire is your only source of light.

���Yeah. ‘s been alright, actually. The lasagne was shit, though.”

He chuckles, “True, but it was almost as shitty yesterday, though. Michael’s just a really bad cook.”

“You’re one to talk,” you tease, knowing that Luke is, by far, the biggest mess in a kitchen.

“Hey! I actually don’t burn toast anymore!”

You erupt into a fit of laughter, his faked hurt and angry expression only making you laugh harder.

“My- stomach- hurts-” you gasp, still laughing.

“I think you’re overtired,” he says, smiling wryly at you once you’ve finally calmed down.

His words make you yawn, and then he giggles.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he whispers, voice silky smooth.

“Goodnight, Luke.”

You close your eyes, still feeling the flames on your eyelids. It’s surprisingly nice to lay beside Luke, listening to his breathing and letting it lull you to sleep.

But just as you begin to drift up, Luke’s low voice wakes you, “Y/N? You awake?”

You release a yawn, eyes fluttering open.

“Yeah. What’s up?”

The silence takes over for a few seconds, before he continues, voice low and unsure, “What if we never get out?”

His words make you wake up completely, heart skipping a beat at the vulnerable tone of his voice. He, who always sounds so sure, now needs your assurance. Before today, you probably wouldn’t have granted it to him, but now, everything feels different.

“We will, Luke. I promise.”

You try to make your voice sound as sure and stern as possible and hope it helps him. In reality, none of you can promise anything related to the weather. You can just hope. But deep inside, you have a feeling this won’t get too serious. That your friends will save you soon, and that removes the fear.

“No, but what if we die in here? We don’t have wood or food enough for weeks. Perhaps a couple days, but not weeks.”

He sounds like a little boy scared of monsters, and your heart clenches at the sound. You don’t know him well enough to decide what will comfort him best, if he needs a touch or words or to talk about something else.

“I promise we’ll be fine,” you try, voice soothing, but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. And it is scary, but you can’t really do anything but try to think of something else. Besides, you don’t remember hearing about anyone dying after being snowed in. Worst case, you’ll probably be stuck inside for a couple days and then come out, just a little hungry and tired. At least you won’t be dehydrated with all the snow.

“‘m just so scared. I don’t wanna die in here, Y/N,” he cries out, voice trembling.

Words apparently don’t help him much, so you decide to try a different path.

You lift off your blanket and pat the empty space on your mattress. He tilts his head, probably trying to figure out if you’re serious or not. He seems to decide your expression looks sincere and crawls away from his mattress to yours, sitting down at the verge of it.

He seems unsure of what to do with himself, lanky legs hitting his own mattress as he stretches them out.

“Lay down,” you mutter, watching him grow even more tense before he lays down his back, whole body stiff.

Have you crossed the line? Is this too much?

You decide to put the doubting thoughts to the back of your head and instead just ask him.

“Is this alright?” you question as you gently turn him around to face you.

He nods, Adam’s apple bobbing lightly. His blue eyes lock with yours, the usual icy colour softened and warmed by the flames. Now, they look like a cloudless summer sky.

You reach out, tucking a curl behind his ear. His breath hitches in his throat when your fingertips come in contact with the soft skin behind his ear, index finger lightly tracing down.

You don’t realize you’ve held your own breath as well before he suddenly, like snapping out of trance, reaches out and tugs you closer. His arm drapes across your hip, hand pressed against the swell of your back, and you have to remind yourself to breathe.

As you lay there and look at each other, legs touching, warm breaths colliding and his fingers gently caressing your back, you can see how his breathing pattern slows, and he calms down until it almost sounds like he’s asleep.

You can’t help but look at him, take in every small detail of his appearance.

His curls are a frazzled mess, but he is still beautiful. So unfairly beautiful and cuddly and gorgeous, pale skin contrasting to the grey of his hoodie.

Without thinking, you grab the string coming from neck of the fabric, considering pulling it and strangling him a little, but then deciding to put up his nose instead.

He throws his head back at the sudden sensation, then laughing.

“Weirdo,” he mutters, but his tone sounds so affectionate you feel your heart skip a beat.

He then grabs a tuft of your hair and places it over your lips, creating a moustache. You pout your lips and enjoy the way he laughs, eyes squeezed shut and dimples clear on his cheeks.

You’ve never really been close enough to him to properly see the freckles that adorn his face, but this close, they only add to his charm.

Everything about him does

“Your eyes are really blue,” you state.

Why the fuck do you say stupid stuff like that? You and your big mouth

He chuckles, a content smile on his lips even after the laughter have died down.

“And yours are really pretty,” he sheepishly compliments you, and you feel your cheeks heat up.

Stupid hormones

“’m really glad you think I’m hot, Y/N,” he admits, referring to your earlier confession.

“I thought we were done talking ‘bout that!” you protest, hitting his chest lightly and hiding your face in the grey fabric of his hoodie.

“You didn’t let me finish, wombat,” he jokes, repeating his earlier ‘nickname’ for you and gently pushing you away from his chest so you’re facing each other again.

However, his tone has shifted majorly, the playful one gone and replaced by a more serious, perhaps even nervous one, “I’m glad you think I’m hot, Y/N. Because, ever since the day I met you, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about how stupidly pretty and funny and amazing you are,” he pauses, visibly swallowing, “And it absolutely killed me that you always seemed to hate me.”

“You did act like an asshole, though,” you remind, earning a small nervous chuckle from him.

He bites his lip, seemingly awaiting your answer.

“But I’ve felt the same way. And today, I dunno, it’s been nice. We’ve spent so much time hating each other, but I really hope we can stay friends after this.”

Friends

You taste the word, feeling it turn bitter on your tongue. You don’t want to be just friends with Luke.

He retreats a bit, looking hurt and insecure and rejected, and it makes your skin itch. The tall, broad man across you shrinks to a little nervous boy under your eyes, and you hate it. You hate that you’ve somehow made him uncomfortable, and you hate that you hate it so much. But what you hate the most is the fact that you can no longer hide the fact that Luke is fascinating to you. And that you care for him.

“Yeah,” he mutters, biting his lip and looking down, “Friends.”

“Have I said something wrong?” you whisper, slowly stretching out your hand to touch his chest through the soft fabric.

Your fingertips trace light patterns on it as a breath hitches in his throat.

“Think it’ll kill me to be just friends with you, to be honest,” he admits, voice thick and vulnerable.

The confession makes your cheek heat up, matching the warmth that spreads through your stomach, but there’s still a doubting voice in the back of your head reminding you that this man despised you until a couple hours ago. And if his negative feelings through years can change this fast, these new positive one can as well.

You think your heart will break if that happens.

“We don’t even know each other, though. This is the first time we’ve even talked,” you argue, voice week and unsure. Because, damn, you want to give in, to melt into his touch, his lips, and bury your hands in his curly locks and feel his warm breath on your neck and-

Wow, Y/N, calm down

“Dunno ‘bout you, but I’ve been watching you for years,” he starts, eyes suddenly widening, “In a very non-stalkery way, I swear!”

You giggle, getting his point but still liking the way he trips over his own words. It’s adorable.

He clears his throat, shooting you a small tentative smile.

“‘m just trying to say that I know you, Y/N, at least a bit. I know you like waking up a bit early, even on weekends, so you have the whole day in front of you. I know you like making sarcastic remarks and that you write in your spare time. I know you like experimenting with clothes and hairstyles, that you used to be a fan before you met us, that you draw real’ shitty and that you did a lot of sport before moving here.”

You can’t believe he’s picked up on so many things.

“I probably know a lot more about you, and there’s surely twice as much I don’t know, but ‘m just sayin’ that I want to get to know you. And that everything I’ve learned so far has only made me like you more.”

You don’t think after that. Instead, you move your head forward in one swift movement, clearly catching Luke off guard when you press your lips against his. However, he quickly catches up and moves his mouth in sync with yours, letting your tongue part his lips and swirl around his own. It’s a hungry, almost aggressive kiss, and you fight for dominance while rolling around so you’re straddling him.

He tastes like toothpaste with a hint of lasagne, and his lips are a little chapped but feel amazing against yours.

If someone had told you just hours again that this would happen, you would have shaken your head and called them insane. Now, the only one you’d consider calling that is yourself for not doing this sooner.

Why have you been so stupid?

“Wow,” he mutters when you part, smiling sheepishly and biting his lip. You watch as it turns pink when his teeth let go, barely fighting the urge to be the one to bite them instead.

“Before I kiss you again, I’ll just say that I second everything. And that you won’t get rid of me anytime soon, little scout.”

You pinch his cheek at your last words, making him laugh, teeth spread in a tired, happy grin. His fingers slip under your (or perhaps you should say his) shirt and bury themselves into the soft skin beside your hips which causes you to hiss and then kiss him feverishly.

He gently shoves you away to look at you with a playful twinkle in his eyes.

“You could’ave just told me you were into roleplay, scout leader,” he teases with a wink.

“Shut up and kiss me, stupid boy scout.”

He follows orders and lifts his head to reach your lips, nails dipping deeper into your skin in the process. In response, you reach under his hoodie and place your hand on his stomach, feeling the warm skin on his defined abs.

Your hands trail all over his abdomen, living out fantasies you’ve hidden for the past many years as you feel him tense under your touch, muscles flexing and growing harder.

But it’s not enough for you.

You break the kiss apart once more to pull at the hoodie, waiting for him to lift his back and head off the mattress so you can remove it completely.

First, he looks questioningly at you, until the tug at the bottom of the fabric finally makes sense to him and the inquiring expression turning into an excited one.

When he’s finally shirtless, a shadow of insecurity dances across his face for just a few moments.

“Could look at this forever,” you praise him, seeing how he relaxes and untenses at your comment.

“‘s not fair ‘m the only one not wearing a shirt,” he murmurs, winking cheekily at you.

“Why don’t you do something about it then?”

He mutters something under his breath, Adam’s apple bobbing and his swallowing visible. Then, he grabs the hem of your shirt and lifts it up, cursing when it gets stuck.

You giggle before wiggling out of it, cheeks heating up under his eyes that fixate on your breasts as you throw it across the floor.

“Holy fuck,” he groans, throwing his head back so the prominent vein on his neck becomes even more visibly. “You’ll be the death of me, sweetheart.”

You can’t control the smile that creeps onto your face at the nickname, leaning down to kiss him again, chest pressed against his. His tongue explores your mouth, gracing over your teeth, and you moan at the sensation before he-

“We’re back guys! Hope you’re both alive!” Ashton yells, sounding like he jumps the three feet from the front door to the living room where you and Luke lie.

“Fuck, shit, fuck, damn, shit,” Luke swears, looking at you with wide eyes but besides that lying almost frozen in his position.

“Where you’re hidin- oh.”

Ashton stops in his tracks, eyeing you with wide eyes, clearly taken back. Then he turns around, trying to give you privacy as you search for a least something to cover your upper body.

“Don’t come in here, guys! They’re not exactly safe for work,” Ashton yells, chuckling along with his last words.

Lame

You gain hold of Luke’s grey hoodie, pulling it over your head as fast as possible. Your cheeks are basically burning, and when you look at Luke who’s now sitting up after you’ve rolled down from him, his whole upper chest is painted pink, the colour going all the way up his neck to his face.

“You can look now,” you assure them, trying to raise your voice but feeling it wavering.

Ashton slowly turns around and the others step in, eyeing you carefully and puzzled.

“What’s going on?” Crystal softly asks, cocking her head to the side and then noticing Luke’s bare torso and how you both are blushing messes. “Have you? Did you?” She starts, clearly not knowing what to think.

And you get it. You really do. When they left, not more than seven hours ago, you were begging her to take you with them so you wouldn’t have to spend time with Luke and now, they’ve caught you red-handed.

“Whose shirt is this? Pretty sure I’ve seen both of you wearing it,” Calum asks, holding up the band tee you discarded not more than five minutes ago. “Have this been going on for some time?”

You quickly shake your head, “No! No, nothing’s happened between us, I swear!”

You look at Luke through the corner of your eye, seeing the way he tenses at your words, and you curse yourself far away.

Well done, Y/N

“I’m gonna go put on a shirt,” Luke mutters, standing up and walking out of the room with his head bowed.

You decide to follow him, running after him like a lost puppy as you yell, “Luke, please wait! I didn’t- Luke, just wait, let’s talk!”

He stops in the hallway, looking back at you over his shoulder. It seems like he’s debating whether to hear you out or not, but then he bites his lip before walking into his room, letting the door stay open.

You take it as an invite to come in and gently close the door behind you, leaning against its cold frame.

“That came out wrong, ‘m sorry.”

He snorts, rummaging through his suitcase and then throwing on a plain black shirt. But he doesn’t say anything.

“Luke, I meant everything I said today. This has changed everything between us and I’m glad it has, but I still need to adjust to it, and I just didn’t know if this was the right time to tell everything to our friends.” You walk away from the door, stepping closer to him and lowering your voice when you continue, “I think I just wanted to enjoy it myself before having to share it with anyone.”

He finally smiles, but still doesn’t look 100% convinced. It’s funny, how you until today thought he was this overly confident and self-assured prick while he’s just as insecure and self-doubting as any other at the age of twenty-something.

“But you’re right. I don’t think we have a choice but to tell them. And perhaps it’s better anyway, to get it over with now instead of dealing with it later.”

“Later? You mean?”

You nod, smiling. “I told you, Luke. You’re not getting rid of me.”

You kiss him, this time gently and carefully, trying to savour the feeling of his lips against yours and the way you can smell his cologne along with a little hint of sweat and musky boy.

“Unless you want to, of course,” you quickly add, causing him to shake his head.

“They deserve to wait a couple minutes, don’t they?” he whispers, looking at your eyes and then down at your lips. And then he kisses you again, and you can’t believe how it still feels just as amazing as it did the first time.

Yeah. No harm in letting them wait a little.

[analisegrey]

Februwhump Prompt:

“Who would the whumpee take a beating for?” (Read on AO3)

Caleb’s always been goal-oriented.

He likes having something to strive for, a box he can mark off when he’s accomplished something; that inclination is honed when he gets to Soltryce- each new spell he learns, every milestone of knowledge, he goes after with fevered abandon. His time in the country with Master Ikithon doesn’t exactly dampen the tendency. The desire to please combined with the need to hit the next goal, do the next thing, pressing ever forward- it’s a terrible and heady combination that Trent utilizes ruthlessly.

And still, after all that, after breaking and reforming, after traveling alone, after finally finding new companions, he’s still goal-oriented. He has one large, overwhelming goal, and it’s always in the back of his mind, waiting, but sometimes it gets overshadowed, pushed temporarily to the side by immediate need.

For instance-

The cell they’re in is cool and damp, moisture dripping down the walls in shining rivulets. Jester’s out cold when they’re dragged in, but Caleb’s awake, if only barely, and so catches pieces of conversation, taunts and threats. He’s known jailers like this before, had suffered extensively under them in the jail where he met Nott. He knows the type- overconfident, cruel, inclined to go after the weakest, softest target, because they don’t want a challenge so much as a reaction.

Caleb weighs his options as he waits for Jester to wake up. They’re both spent from the fight before they were captured, and he knows that especially without his components, they’re on their own until help arrives. He’s moved her so her head is pillowed on his lap, and he absently cards his fingers through her hair as he thinks. He knows this type of people, knows what they’re capable of, how they react, who they’ll likely go for once they’re ready to start. He knows, and he refuses to let that happen.

There’s a rustle of fabric and a shift of movement as Jester starts to wake up, groaning as her eyes slit open.

“What- what happened, where-”

Caleb gently squeezes her shoulder. “I am afraid things went rather poorly, Jester. We are in a cell.”

Her brow crinkles in confusion before her eyes go wide and she jolts up to sitting, Caleb barely leaning back in time to avoid getting knocked in the chin. She’s scrambling to her feet and heading for the door before Caleb can stop her, her fingers digging into the edges where the frame and the door meet, looking for purchase, for a catch, anything, as her tail lashes behind her.

“We need to get out, we need to get the door open, we have to leave- ”

Caleb gets up and moves to her side, catching carefully at her wrists and tugging. He knows he has no hope of moving her if she doesn’t want to allow it, and is relieved when she lets him.

“Jester, you must be calm.”

She turns to him wild-eyed and pale, her skin washed out to a sickly light blue. “Caleb-” Her voice wavers with panic, and his resolve only strengthens as he gets a more secure grip on her and pulls. She goes with him as he leads her back to the far wall and sits, bringing her with him; her skirts pool around her, and he puts an arm around her after only a moment’s hesitation. She’s shaking, her breathes quick and hitching, and he’s familiar enough with the sounds of panic and terror to recognize it. He gives her a squeeze.

“Jester, I know this is frightening. It’s not a great situation, but we must believe the others will come and get us out. We have done it before, and they will do it again.”

“I know, I know , it’s just, what will happen in the meantime? I can’t- I can’t do that again, Caleb, I can’t- ”

If his plan’s going to work, he needs her calm, needs her strong. He feels for her, he does, but he needs her to get herself under control.

“Jester.” He keeps his voice soft, calm, soothing, and takes her by the shoulders, turning her to face him. “I know this is a terrible situation, and while neither of us wants to be here, this is especially hard for you after everything you have been through. I can’t guarantee everything will be okay right now, but I believe- I have to believe- that the others are coming, and we just need to be strong until then.”

She sniffles, eyes red-tinged and wet as she looks up at him. He knows how strong she is, physically and emotionally, but right now she looks small, frightened, and he’s reminded how young and sheltered she is, and he feels the protective urge he normally feels for her surge. He will not let them hurt her, not if he has anything to say about it.

“I need you to listen to me, Jester, you can do that, ja ?”

She nods, though she doesn’t look very sure, and he smiles.

“The men who brought us here are going to come back.” She freezes under his hands, her breath starting to pick up again, and he squeezes, trying to ground her. “They are going to come back, but I have a plan. I will not let them harm you; but you must work with me. I can only do so much, so you must be strong. I need you to look fearsome.”

Her brows furrow again in confusion as she looks him over, her tail moving agitatedly behind her. “But how will you do that? They took all your stuff, Caleb, your components, your coat, your books- how are we going to fight back?”

He shakes his head. “My plan is not to fight, not with magic or fists. I plan to fight with this,” he says as he taps his temple with a finger. “I do not need to be stronger or have my components in order to out-think them. I am going to play a part, and I need you to as well for it to work. It will be scary, but I know you can do it. You are a very good actress, ja? They will not know what hit them.”

Her eyes narrow momentarily, and he worries she’s figured him out, but then her face relaxes and she gives him a tremulous smile, which he mirrors back to her.

“Okay, I think I can do that, Caleb.”

“I know you can, blueberry.”

She smile brightens at the nickname, as he’d hoped it would. Now for the hard part.

“I need you to promise me something though, Jester. This is very important.”

“What?”

“When they come back, I want you to try to get in front of me. I am also going to be acting a part, and it may be difficult to watch, but I need you not to interfere otherwise. Whatever you see me do, whatever you hear me say, just know that I’m acting, and it will be alright. Can you do that?”

Her lips press together, pensive and pinched, the dark blue of her lips paling before she nods, her expression growing hard and resolute. “Okay okay okay, yes, I can do this. We will get through this, and the others will come, and everything will be okay.”

He smiles at her, and he hopes it doesn’t look as much like a grimace as it feels.

They pass the time chatting about nonsense and when they hear a door clang open nearby they both tense. In the last few seconds before the cell door opens, he turns and whispers, “Don’t forget- you are fierce, blueberry, and I am just acting.”

The door swings open and Jester plays her part perfectly, straightening up and snarling an oath in Infernal, coming to her feet in front of him as he slowly gets to his behind her, feigning weakness.

One of the few benefits of being a self-confessed coward, of being afraid nearly all the time, is that when it matters, when it’s actually helpful , it’s no hardship to play the weakling. He barely has to try for the fear he normally keeps bottled up show readily on his face, for the near-constant dread to become manifest. When their jailers enter the room, Caleb presses himself back against the wall, shuddering as the cold and damp seep in through the thin fabric of his shirt. He hunches inward, makes himself look small, an easy target, and bless the two buffoons holding them captive, they buy it.

“Grab him. Let’s make ‘im squeal.”

Caleb’s eyes go wide in only partially-feigned horror, and shakes his head, pressing back further, though there’s nowhere to go.

“Nein , no, please- ”

Jester tries to stay in front of him but fierce as she is, she’s easily thrown aside. Their captors may be immensely stupid and easily manipulated, but they’re strong, grabbing him with ease and carrying him toward the door. He plays it up, yelling and pleading in a way that normally would fill him with shame, but he’s fueled by his need to keep them focused on him and their attention away from Jester. He gets a last glimpse of her as they pull him through the door and she looks utterly stricken; he hopes she’ll forgive him eventually.

He’s taken down the hall to a room that's bare except for a wooden chair in the middle of it. They throw him onto it, and one of them hauls back and punches him in the jaw, snapping his head to the side and setting his ears ringing. By the time his head clears, his arms have been wrenched behind him and his wrists tightly bound and anchored to the chair. He struggles and they laugh, each grabbing an ankle even as he tries to kick at them; they tie those to the chair as well until soon he’s completely helpless. He tries not to panic, reminds himself he wanted this, that this was his preferred outcome, but it’s difficult to remember when one of the men is standing in front of him grinning and the other is behind him with a large meaty hand clamped on his shoulder. The hand on his shoulder slides to his throat, gripping and pulling his head up and back and for a split second he feels a flash of real fear, thinks he's miscalculated terribly, but then the other man slams his fist into Caleb's stomach, and the fear is replaced with a calmer resignation. His body tries to fold over, but the ropes at his wrists and the hand at his throat keep him from moving, so all he can do is choke on a cry and shake. They work him over with the ease of long practice, moving in tandem and causing pain with little break between. He's quickly breathless, screams caught in his throat as blows rain down faster than he can process. At one point a blow knocks him sideways and the whole chair tilts precariously before it tips, taking him with it. He feels it as his left arm snaps at the forearm when his whole weight, chair and all, land on it; he's screamed himself hoarse but still finds voice enough to cry out. The men just laugh and continue, and throughout the beating the thought Caleb keeps firmly situated in his mind is, ‘At least it’s not Jester.’

The men start to slow down, tired and covered in sweat, and Caleb would breathe a sigh of relief if he could; his ribs scream at him when he draws breath, his broken arm a throbbing misery at his side. He hurts everywhere, bursts of pain so prevalent it’s difficult to tell where one begins and another ends. They untie his legs, then his arms, and his vision goes dim and watery as they pick him up again, heedless of his broken arm, and drag him back through the door and down the hallway to the cell.

He desperately wants to pass out, to get away from the pain if only for a little while, but he can’t yet. There’s still one more part of this to do before he can allow himself the respite of unconsciousness.

They slam the door to the cell open and toss him through it. He's unable to catch himself and lands awkwardly on his front, his broken arm hitting the ground with enough force that he thinks he does pass out, if only for a few seconds. The next moment he’s aware it’s to find gentle hands on his face, warm and careful as they feel around his cheeks and jaw.

“Oh, Caleb- ” That’s Jester, and she sounds anguished. He forces his eyes open to look up at her and she’s blurry, but he thinks that’s mostly do to his eyes being partially swollen shut than anything else. She looks like she’s been crying, her face crumpled in distress, and he reaches for one of her hands with his good one.

“Jester, it’s okay.” It’s hard to speak, his voice barely there, his throat burning with the effort.

Her face twists, grief and anger warring with each other for dominance in her expression. “Caleb, it is not okay.” Her hands flex minutely on his face and he winces at the pressure on the bruising he can feel painting his skin. “Do you even know what you look like? Look what they’ve done to you, Caleb, your arm, and your face, and, and-” She looks perilously close to tears, and while it guts him to see it, he holds tight to the fact that it’s him here on the floor beat to shit, and not her, that it’s him with the broken arm and ribs, not her. He remembers- because he always remembers, doesn’t he?- what she looked like when they found her and Fjord and Yasha at the Sour Nest. Dirty, bruised, tear-streaked and devastated, and there’s not a lot he’s proud of in his life, but this is one thing he can hold onto. He kept this from happening to her, from happening to her again. She may have experienced this kind of cruelty, but he’s had practice, and if there’s any benefit to the things that have happened in his life, it’s that it’s prepared him for this, has put him in a position to be able to spare Jester.

He manages to pull a smile out for her, squeezes one of her wrists in a shaking hand before letting his arm fall back to his side.

“It’s alright, Jester. It is- it’s better this way. You are stronger anyway, ja? If we need to fight to get out, it’s better that you be strong and healthy.” He’s trying to focus, to stay awake to keep her company, but it’s so hard. His words are slurring, and it’s probably not a great idea to fall asleep, but he doesn’t think he’s going to have a choice in a moment. “You were wonderful, blueberry. Du warst perfekt.”

His eyes slide closed, and he passes out to the feel of Jester’s hands warm on his face.

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

3AM Drive - Thru (JJK x You x The8/Minghao)// Chapter 11

MASTERLIST

"I want you back Y/N," he walked closer and took both of her hands in his. "I know I dont deserve to say that to you. But I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. Please give me just one more chance. I promise I will spend the rest of my life showing you how you should be love and treated. I will do anything you ask me to. Just please give me a chance to try,"

"Song Y/N, in case you still dont know, I love you,"

                     -----------------------------------------------------------

"All my life, all I know is how to love him. I never thought I would know how to do anything else. Until I met you Minghao. I think I'm finally ready to learn something new..."

Y/N covered her face with her pillow and screamed. Hoping the pillow would help to muffle the sound.

She cant believe she said that to Minghao. Great, he's probably freaked out now! Right after she said that, Minghao just give her a tight hug, asks her to go get some rest and went off, saying he needs to see someone.

The first thought that comes to Y/N's head is maybe he already has a girlfriend that he didnt tell her about. Maybe he really just thinks of her as only a best friend. Maybe now he doesn't want to be close to her anymore.

Just the thought of not having Minghao as close to her as before brought tears to her eyes. She doesnt care if he doesn't feel the same way, if the thoughts of liking her just a little more than friends had never even cross his mind, all she wants now is to turn back time and wish she didn't open her stupid mouth.

After hours of rolling around, trying to fall asleep, Y/N knows its no use. She wiped her tears that never stop flowing, bundled herself up in a oversized fuzzy sweater and heads out. Maybe the night air can help ease her mind enough for her to feel sleepy.

The moment she stepped on the sidewalk, Minghao is standing right in front of her, smiling, holding brown paperbags filled with fries and chicken nuggets.

His smile dissappeared the moment he saw how red and puffy her eyes are, indicating that she's been crying. The bags are immediately dropped to the ground as he rush over to her before she can turn away.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you cry," Minghao hugged Y/N tightly from the back and turned her to face him. "Please dont cry because of me. Someone like me is not worth to be cried over someone like you,"

Y/N starts to sob even louder. What is he saying? He is the most important person in her life. To her, he's worth more that life itself.

"I'm sorry for saying what I said. Please just forget it ever happen. Please dont leave me Minghao. Can we please just go back to how we use to be and forget everything that I said? As long as you are still in my life, I dont care if you dont feel the same way," Y/N cried. She doesn't care about her not so friendly feelings being out in the open anymore.

Minghao pulls her close to his chest and smile into her hair when he realize what she's crying about. Aish, stupid girl. Did she really thinks he left because of her confession?

The truth it, the moment Y/N said what she said, Minghao felt his heart is going to burst and his jaw breaking for wanting to smile so widely. But he knows before he can say anything, he needs to see his friend and hears his side of the story. So he instead asks Y/N to sleep since its already late and went to meet Jungkook.

He loves Y/N too much to take advantage of her vulnerable state. He wants Y/N to be with him because she really wants to, not because she's too used to being around him that she thinks she's in love with him.He wants her to really think about her feelings.

He meant what he said to Jungkook. His priority is for Y/N to be happy, it doesn't matter with who she's happy with. As much as he just wants to grab her, kiss her and make her his when she confessed, he knows he cant be hasty and let Y/N really sort out her feelings until she's sure that its him that she really wants.

"Y/N... I'm not going anywhere. I promised you didn't I? I promise you that I will always be here for you," he finally said to her. "You dont know how happy I am to hear you say that to me...but," Y/N cocks her head, nervously biting her lips.

"But, I want you to be sure that you really want to be with me. Because I dont think I will allow you to ever get away once you are mine,"

"Minghao, I know what I'm feeling, and its you!"

"Y/N... Jungkook is your first real love, you can never truly ever get over your first real love. And now that he's back in your life, I need you to really sort out you feelings. And once you figured it out and the answer is still me, I will be waiting for you, always," he smiles warmly at her. "In the meantime, I will always be by your side. Dont you worry, I'm not going anywhere,"

"But, Minghao-"

Minghao places a finger on her lips, hushing her.

"Song Y/N, in case you still didn't know, I love you,"

                                               ---------------------

The days that follows after that night are filled with rainbows and sunshine for Y/N.

Minghao loves me. He actually said he loves me!

Those are the only thoughts that seems to be playing in her mind. Their relationship remains the same as before. Minghao still firmly believes that Y/N needs time to sort out her feelings. Y/N, on the contrary, is trying everything she can to show that she's already sure of her feelings and she just want them to be together already. Since Seventeen's next comeback is coming very soon, their time together was cut short due to Minghao's practice and recording sessions. Lazy days watching movies together were turned into extra early breakfast session or super late movie nights. However, Minghao never fails to replace the missing time together with extra long phone and video calls and frequent daily texts.

His way of showing that he cares does nothing other than makes the flutter in Y/N's heart growing.

Y/N's days are brighter everyday, except for the days when Jungkook's variety show is filming.

Y/N did a great job of avoiding him on days she knows they have the recording at her studio. She will purposely schedule outside meetings or other shoots to keep her busy and away.

She and Jungkook haven't spoken to each other ever since he kissed her. And she's really hoping not to ever speak to him again. Jungkook, on the other hand, tried everything to find and talk to her, but to no avail.

Until today.

A major problem had occured regarding the shoot, and since it involves two of the currently biggest idol groups, its natural that Y/N herself has to get involve in order to solve whatever mess that happened.

Jungkook seized the chance and immediately caught up with her when she's trying to quietly escape after finishing the meeting.

"Y/N, wait please,"

Y/N stopped in her tracks. Her back facing him, contemplating wether she should try and run or face the situation like an adult. Minghao came into her mind and she knows in order for her to get a fresh new start with him, she needs to settle whatever this is with Jungkook.

So, she take a deep breath and turn around. She gestured for him to enter her office and close the door after he slowly follows.

"What do you have to say Jungkook?"

"Look, I know you are avoiding me,"

"You are right. I am avoiding you," Y/N honestly answered. She is done playing games with Jungkook.

"Okay. I deserved that," he sigh. "Look Y/N... I wont say I'm sorry for kissing you, because it felt right to me. But I am sorry for making you angry," he took a step closer. "Y/N, I meant what I said. I love you. I've never ever stop. Minji was a mistake. Asking for a break was a mistake, God, making you cry is the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life,"

Y/N just look at him, emotionless.

"Where are you going with this Jungkook?"

"I want you back Y/N," he walked closer and took both of her hands in his. "I know I dont deserve to say that to you. But I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. Please give me just one more chance. I promise I will spend the rest of my life showing you how you should be love and treated. I will do anything you ask me too. Just please give me a chance to try,"

Y/N closes her eyes and sigh. She slowly release her hands from his. Those are the words that she had always wanted to hear from him, the love of her life... only its 2 years too late.

"Jungkook..." he looked up at the sound of his name. "Seeing you with Minji that first day broke me into pieces. At that very moment I realized that your excuse of being an idol to break up with me is just that, an excuse. I realized that you are not too busy for a relationship, you are too busy for me. Its not a relationship that you are afraid of distracting you, its me. I realized that if you really had love me, you would at least try to work it with me before you call it quits. You are willing to try it with Minji, but not with me. Why? Why not with me?

I asked myself that question for months Jungkook. I finally figure out that you probably dont love me enough to give me a chance. I feel worthless. I feel like I'm still not enough for someone who I gave everything to. I have nothing left to give you and I start to see all the things that Minji has and I dont. Things that makes you choose her and not me.

You left me alone in my darkest state, in the moment when I need you the most. Loving you is all that I used to know, and I used to think that I will never ever know anything else. But I have grown up now Jungkook, and I realized, there's so much more that I can learn.

Our story has ended the moment you get up and left me crying at that cafe. You already wrote the last chapter of our story. And I know that now. You can try to get me back, you can do whatever you want, I wont stop you. You know that I will always love you Jungkook, but I wont ever let myself be in love with you again,"

By the end of what Y/N is saying, Jungkook is drowning with tears. He didn't know that he had hurt the one person he loves that much. Y/N used to mean everything to him, and she still does. He wanted to deny, to explain to her that no, she's not worthless. That Minji is nothing compared to her. That she deserve all the nice things in the world and he is the stupid guy who let someone so precious. But action speaks louder than words. Everything has been done 2 years ago, and there's nothing he can say now that will unbreak Y/N's heart.

"I'm sorry Y/N. I'm so so sorry. If I could turn back time I would, and I would have never let your precious heart break," he sniffle. "I know this is a lot to ask. I know I dont even deserve this much, but can we be try to be friends? For real this time, I promise," he raised his hand to indicate that he's swearing. "Let's get to know each other again,"

Y/N chuckle through her watery eyes.

"I dont think I can handle the thought of not having you in my life at all Y/N,"

"Of course Jungkook. After all, we were best friends first," she smiles. "Hi, I'm Song Y/N," while holding out her hand. Jungkook give a small chuckle.

"And I'm Jeon Jungkook. It's nice to meet you. I hope we can be great friends," he continues. Although he's hoping to reconcile their relationship, he knows he should atleast be grateful that Y/N is still willing to be in his life.

                        ----------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 12 preview

"Hey Y/N, want to go grab a bite? I'll buy you your chicken nuggets and fries," he smiles. "Just like the old times..."

She's sad, angry, tired, betrayed, hungry, cold, heart broken... and standing right in front of her is the man who's giving her the oh so familiar bunny smile that sends her a warm feeling.

"Why not Jungkook. Just like the old times,"

[diariesof-kg]

Listen Linda!

08_15_21

I am excited!!  My VH1 credit should be on my IMDB page real soon.  Pause why Black Panther is filming in ATL and I never knew when they started filming.  I definitely need an agent in ATL, I have the financial ability to fly back and forth.  I just don’t know if I am willing to shave my head.  Even if they offered me 500k, I’d still be hesitant. Lol.  And they are filming in the middle of fall and winter and I can’t stand being cold.  God is good!  I am unsure what to do with my health though.  Again, I’ve come to terms years ago, about what could possibly happen.  I bet ol girl would be happy if I perished, she wished it on me anyway. Lol, But that besides the point at hand.  Something is definitely wrong with my body and I am beyond over it.  Thank God for life insurance I guess.  I barely have debts except for my school loans.  I wrote out my goals, I just need to make a vision board at this point.  I am definitely hoping everything manifests.  I’ll be debt free by December of this year.  And then my credit score should be above average and then I figured out how to get a Tesla without spending 40k.  The most I am willing to spend is 30k but that’s where negotiating comes in.  Unless the car goes over 300 miles per charge, I am not spending that much.  I’ve driven a Tesla. Model S and the charge goes down quick with all the usage.  I want a model S so bad, but Ill take the Model 3 or Y. 

My child got out twice now.  I told her the outside is for the street cats and she’s not about that life, of course she responds. Lol.  I am definitely blessed for her.  Who would have thought I’d have a cat that responds and talks to me.  Understands commands.  It’s beyond crazy sometimes but I am grateful.  I remember after the incident I was crying so bad and Zena was trying to get in my lap but I kept putting her on the floor.  I feel so bad she waned to comfort me and I rejected it.  But I truly love her to death.  I bought her a leash to train her to go outside but she isn’t having it, but then yells at me to put it on.  I guess she runs everything.  She also loves helping the clients.  Lol.  Whether that’s talking while I’m on the phone or typing random shit from the keyboard.  

I finally broke my silence.  Not entirely.  I’m still hesitant about reaching out to my community about what happened to me.  I told one person in the industry and I said, it’s not about exploiting or exposing but it’s about safety.  If I was attacked I am sure it’ll happen to someone else and that’s the point of speaking on it.  I would be in the wrong if it was lies and I made up this whole story for revenge, but unfortunately it really happened.  I have the court documents saved as PDF and people can look it up with my name or the case number.  This is why I am blessed my record is clean.  Because on my IMDB, it shows if the industry is googling you or reviewing your page.  And if I had a criminal or something as a restraining order on my record, I could lose out on bookings.  Reputation matters.  Producers always call me back for a gig.  And no one wants to work with someone who can’t control their anger.  Thank God that isn’t me.  I can be upset, but I’d NEVER put my hands let alone bite someone.  I am hesitant about posting pictures of the bite, but I feel like that’s my finally closure.  Closure and forgiveness is a beautiful thing.  I think that’s how I am able to receive all these blessings.  I always forgive people in order to set myself free.  The misery I would feel if I didn’t. 

*side note; I am craving Prank’s Egg white omelette and potatoes. ; with some syrup.  I am not sure when I’ll make it over there but it’ll be soon.  Most places don’t even do egg white omelette which too me isn’t as dry as a regular omelette. It’s like being in love with the first bite, it’s so good. 

Imagine on my birthday a Tesla arrives.  Yall I’d pass out.  Lol.  I definitely want that car and then I’ll get a townhouse.  The way they check your credit though itll be tricky I suppose.  And of course mom can rent out my room.  This room is beyond 600 sq ft.  Its a whole ass studio.  Matter fact if she takes the entertainment room, where my sister sleeps and my room and the bathroom, that’s a steal.  I have been looking for townhouses to rent but some are two bedrooms and are tiny.  And I am spoiled to be honest.  I refuse to live in a box.  Which means paying over 2k a month.  But that’s the whole point of upgrading your life.  I will never forget when I met my brother for the first time and he said I was boujie because I had a Champion jacket on. Lol, SMH!  What’s so wrong with upgrading your life.  Phew, black people never can just say something is cute or looks good without the extras.  The Champion jacket was hella expensive and I bought it on my credit card, because I was broke.  I like the color and how it looked. Lol, never knew it would categorize me as boujie.  

That’s why lowkey I am scared to get the Tesla.  Because when next year comes around and I FINALLY heal and get myself right to date.  I don’t want to go out on a date and they think, because I have a Tesla I got monies.  I was ignorant for that too.  My ex has a big ass house and a Mercedes and I quickly learned it wasn’t even like that.  Plus a Mercedes is really an expensive Chrysler, both vehicles share the same interior, but who gon tell them?  Can we just clap for people who upgrade their lives.  Can we do that starting 2022.  My plan is at the end of this year to finish doing overtime and then grab my savings and get a loan, hopefully at least 20k and I pay the rest like 10-15k.  And BOOM a Tesla is born.  I am always planning, I created a whole financial excel sheet to predict how much I need to make to reach my goals.  Then I have my Godson and his future.  I may go ahead and put 5k in his savings just to set him in stone for the next two years.  I am waiting for my credit card to say zero!  If I have extra I might send my friends a couple racks.  When I am blessed I have to pass the blessings to the next.

I love the BUFFINS!!!  I just can’t over how beautiful their lives are.  Sevyn wanted Annie and she got her.  They proposed and got married and three years later had their first child and I am just so happy for them.  I am like this, let me re-manifest someone from the ATL.  Because my homeboy literally is moving to be with his fiance after meeting her a short time and he’s a Capricorn.  Listen, I was so close but I ended up getting violated violently, so lets start over.  Caps are so loyal and faithful.  But I am not ready to find someone yet.  I kind of want to establish a few things first.  I want to HEAL.  This was definitely a traumatizing experience.  Adding more to my PTSD.  I want to be comfortable speaking about it if asked.  There is a lot to work on at this time.  Plus, I want to get this car and this townhouse.  Also, I don’t want to be afraid to jump into the deep end.  Like when I fall in love again, I dont want to be hesitant to make someone my girlfriend, even if it’s a short period of time.  I don’t want to rush but I don’t want to hold back my emotions either.  I pray I can fall in love again.  I honestly do.  I thought I couldn’t and then I did to a person who attacked me.  Feels wasted.  I want to take chances.  I should have taken that second date with this other girl. Lol, fuck !  And I wouldn’t have been in this mess.  

To end this, I know relationships are not easy, I was in one for five years.  I have the strength but also, I don’t have to tolerate shit.  If the universe sends me a damn Taurus, we going straight to counseling, because I refuse.  Lol, they are literally all abusive asf.  In the meantime, I am waiting for the victims group to get back to me about my case.  If they agree, somebody going to jail and it’s not me.  I mean literally what happened to my bff ex, lordt.  we call her crazy bish, but she was mad she was arrested for the DV.  Like how can people be upset about their own actions that they chose.  Now you see why, when my bff asked if she was a Taurus and she said yes, why they were scared for me.  Lol, because them May Taurus are real life abusers.  Someone prove me wrong and Ill give them 10k.  But on a good note.  God is good!!!!!

[nostalgiabones]

hi lauren!!

im sorry that you dont feel well. my day has been pretty unspectacular. i really wish i was asleep right now, because its nearly 3am here, but it just seems like its not in the cards for me. my goal for saturday is to really get into the halloween spirit and dress up and do my makeup. i just really need to figure something out until then. i hope you feel better soon and that a bit of distraction helps in the meantime!!

❤️ (insert clown emoji here) ❤️

p.s. im still terrified of that emoji and im mostly using my ipad for tumblr right now, so thats what youre getting until im less scared of it or i forget it!! 😂

Please get some sleep if you can 🥺 I hope you have fun!! What are you thinking of dressing up as?! I have 0 plans for Halloween as i’ve never really liked it that much lmao! I’m excited to hear what you end up going as. Lmao I love how we just hate the clown emoji now 😭😭

[dmcracy]

Solo campaign p.2 + Group 2. Poisons

The curiosity brought Myrta out of the forest to the small encampment made by gnolls . She saw those appalling creatures moving some prisoners to one of their tents and she immediately made a plan to put them all to sleep by poisoning the water. She was a herbalist and found some herb she thought might help create a poison. I made her roll a herbalist check and the result was a small vial or dark green liquid with an awful smell. She turned into some animal - snake I think - and sneaked to the camp (with her grass snake friend she made earlier in the game). No guard spotted her presence and she emptied a whole vial to their water reserve. Then she slithered away and waited.

Nothing was happening for a while and she began to worry that her plan failed. So Myrta and her bear got closer to the camp. Nothing was moving. They got even closer and finally realized that something was wrong. In the centre of the camp, Myrta found a bunch of dead gnolls close to the water reserve barrels. They died so fast it almost made a pile of them and I gave her a nickname Myrta the Poisoner. The remaining gnolls just run away to the mountains. After a moment of astonishment Myrta noticed smoke rising from the nearby village to the north and immediately released the prisoners and moved to the smoking village. The village was called Meander and she just accidentally saved its people since the gnolls were hunting its denizens. When she arrived and told the local mayor, MacGilmere, about the accident, the people were so relieved they started repairing the village and promised to make her a statue. In the meantime Myrta also healed one man from the head injury what made their decision even more concrete. The mayor even housed her in his house and she was given a magical dagger +1: Letterbane (the poor dagger never saw a real action and was used only to open letters, so whenever someone wanted to use it on a paper it trembled).

At this point, her patron revealed himself to her for the first time. Brandobaris took his normal form of a halfling lad and talked to her in some barn. She was suspicious about him because he was cryptic and kinda out of place in here. He disappeared without a trace soon after the talk and she met another NPC - a mercenary called MacCorryn. This guy came from the far south looking for some job. He traveled across the sea after some troublesome job he had in Slanterk. The job went poor and he got kicked more than a dozen times to the butt but eventually crawled to the temple and healed himself. Yes, this was the guy Llthrae and Mína fought on the streets of Slanterk. They talked a bit and somehow figured that those gnolls are still a threat if not all dead and people of this village need to be safe. So without any delay, they went to the gnoll camp and tracked the remaining gnolls to the mountains.

After some time, and one well placed entangle spell on the side of the mountain while falling to certain death, they found a cave where the remaining gnolls were hiding. The stench was terrible, bones and filth were scattered in front of the entrance and a very low voice was chanting something (there was a gnoll warlock trying to summon shoosuva). So Myrta made another plan - the cave must be pulled down and whatever was within shall be imprisoned. But while they were planning the guards spotted adventurers and attacked. They were dispatched, Myrta and MacCorryn tried to release some loose rock on the top of the cave. But the rocks would not budge and the chant was getting louder. Time was running out. The bear Myrta befriended was walking behind them nervously, because there was not enough space for its large body. Then, suddenly, they heard an unknown voice saying “dont get scared now” followed by cracking of bones and stretching of skin and a pair of large clawed bearlike hands pushed the rock with them. The rocks have fallen, everybody inside the cave died. MacCorryn quickly turned and saw a werebear standing behind them. This was Drýđ, a very unfortunate girl.

*******************************************************************************************

At this point, I introduced to my players a wandering mercenary siege engineer named Bors. Llthrae wanted to have his fort as invisible as possible but possible to defend if necessary (Mína could not join the game and her absence lasted for like 6 months). We made some preparations and Bors kinda joined the group. He played a mix of NPC and PC. I was expecting a good results in his playstyle because we played a lot of games together. But what happened amazed me. He totally nailed his character and played well even in those early moments. He even made a blueprint of that fort and gave it to us as PDF one day. And yes, he is my favourite. Not favourite meaning he can do anything he wants and everybody gets trash. No. He is my favourite because he plays so damn well, encourages others to do stuff so I can focus on details and remembers everything so I - a great improviser - can count on him because sometimes I just forget to make a note (for two hours for example, because I am dealing with things like players not having the char sheets and so on). 

Now Llthrae needed some workers. I made a sheet with a few possible groups so he could go and hire them. That never happened. He ordered Stan to do that while they waited in the fort. So, eventually, all of those groups came to the Western forest to work for Llthrae. Half-orcs, goblins, tiefling, gnomes, halflings, half-elves, dwarfs, and an elf. Yes, most of them hated each other. Everybody wanted something else. And even half-orcs disliked goblins. Then, Llthrae needed stone to build his home. The workers were given orders to clean the old road running through the forest, grub the surroundings of the ruin and prepare the wood for construction. Off course, Stan was given the order to watch them and the master (Llthrae) went to Mirin Kartak to talk to the quarry master. Do you remember the guy Llthrae woke up in the middle of the night banging on his door demanding more weed? That was Odal. And Odal remembers. So when Llthrae asked about the mason he was pointed to Odal’s house. Naturally, he did not remember what happened and Odal almost had a heart attack when he saw him again. But Bors was with them and they (Bors and me) made a deal (Bors saving the day was a canon from this moment). The stone was eventually delivered for a normal price and the construction work begun.

First, there was such low morale of his workers that the construction time extended for a month (Llthrae had no time to oversee his fort because he was enchanting an axe for Orik). The workers had nowhere to sleep and there was no real organization (the fort was still a ruin and a small tower where Bostock lived was big only for few people). Eventually, they were forced to group workers who can cooperate and build houses for them so the work could take a normal pace (trust me I know what I am talking about). Some accidents happened (Orik tried his new axe on a tree, the tree fell on a worker who was relieving himself) but they managed to help them and even improve the morale by granting workers a day off and preparing some refreshment for them. As sad as it sound when I look at the game now I see how Llthrae improved without Mína in our game (she had a little cameo, where she spent the entire time the fort was constructed in bed with the tiefling - he was a famous gigolo named Kaiil and I know - I am evil). He was influenced by others and tried to think more I guess (and my heart grew bigger for him).

As the fort grew they made few visits to Mirin Kartak, where Orik and Bors (and even Llthrae I think) trained with a famous swordmaster Caleb Arnyan. They even discovered a small cave close to the fort and befriended a mimic (they tried to kill him at first, but I played him too cute to kill so they kept him - another trap worked as I wanted). When Llthrae asked its name he responded Filip (in our country having a Filip means being smart - this was meant as a joke but we all liked it and they never bother naming him anyway). And when the work was almost done, Jolten Onnock and Argo Arkenbrand visited them. They explained to Llthrae that he could not cut timber wherever he wanted but if he would like to he can start a business with timber and the fort can work as a trade post (both merchants realized the potential this small event created - a clear road, taxable fort and so on). So when Llthrae heard about paying taxes and earning free money the invisible fort idea vanished. The merchants gave him a notion to build a repository and left to make a contract. He obeyed without a complaint.

The small house halflings built for themselves earlier was turned into a proper hobbit house with a great kitchen and they started cooking for the whole fort - it was the only thing they wanted to do here anyway and they were bloody good cooks (one of their famous treats was a gingerbread which Filip loved). The other house Kharmar and his half-orks built was turned into a hall style house where travelling merchants could be accommodated (this house had a grand fireplace warming up whole building - this was the favourite place for Stan). So, when the final day came the workers were given payment and goblins and half-orcs (they became friends in the meantime) got employed as workers in the fort from that day. Bors received more than a thousand gold for his work and joined their group. And the next day, they all ventured to Slanterk to seal the contract and to celebrate two new ships from the wood Llthrae provided. One was named Sea Beauty and the other was given a name by Llthrae - Žriemäthnitpsä (I hope). I was happy, Llthrae was happy (I think) and the celebration was glorious.

But happiness made folk blind and darkness was already gathering. And a floating corpse in the docks foretold their future.

[artificialqueens]

party chapter twelve - shalaska - pureCAMP

A/N - here’s another pathetic apology. it’s been over a month. i am a mess and a ball of stress, and i’m very sorry. i hope you like this<3

btw, a man is mentioned in this. this man is not intended to be chad. i know who chad is. this is not chad. thank u

When Alaska woke up, the bed was empty. She could’ve lain there forever – would have if she hadn’t been alone – but her outstretched arms were grasping at nothing but cold pillows, and she wanted to be grasping at a warm body. She knew she’d fallen asleep encompassed in a warm body, one that was composed of familiar geometric shapes and sharp angles, but that body was gone now. Alaska blinked a few times and sat up, feeling groggy. She could hear voices. One sounded clear and high and female, the other low and rough and male. Part of her wanted to listen, but the other part begged her to lie back once more.

So she did, sinking back down into the pillow and closing her eyes as she listened to the voices grow louder and closer in proximity. The voices should have been instantly recognisable to her; she’d heard those two exact voices arguing and laughing many mornings when they were on tour, but fatigue made her mind foggy. All she could think about was the previous night.

Sharon had said that Alaska ‘didn’t deserve the bad publicity’ that was synonymous with her name. She’d said a lot of things, but that one stuck in her mind. It wasn’t like Alaska didn’t get bad publicity anyway, but she understood where Sharon was coming from. It was only recently that Alaska’s general public view had shifted from liked and loved to loved or hated, whereas Sharon had been a figure of strong controversy and adoration since her win, way back when. It must have been exhausting for her.

Almost absent-mindedly, Alaska reached for her phone to break the cardinal rule of reality TV superstardom. She was guilty of it, almost everyone she knew was guilty of it at some point, and even though it brought nothing but strife it was still an unshakeable urge. To know, to read, to acknowledge.

Anonymous: i know right… she used to be really sweet but then she let all the “fan favourite” fame get to her head and she’s a total snake now. I never understood why everyone loved her anyway, she was so fake on her season. And on as2 she clearly just wanted to keep detox and Roxxxy in the competition, and then she had a meltdown because she was about to be treated the way she treated everyone else. So then what does she do when everyone’s commenting snakes about her and her relevance is crashing down (because who cares about her when you could care about Katya)? She pulls out her last trick and does a show with sharon needles. Sad, really. Sad how she pretends they’re still super good friends and uses her to boost her fame and ego when she needs it. Besides the fact that sharon is a complete dick (look on reddit) it’s obvious that alaska only performs with her because it makes people excited and sharon seems to really like her… gross. Dont use another queen for your own good. Anyone else agree?

197 likes. 445 comments. 3 shares.

Honestly, that was mostly standard. Tons of people thought she was a snake for caring about her friends, and viciously defended Katya – the same Katya who would call her at midnight, giggling because a fly had landed on her baby hands and she’d managed to capture a few seconds of it on snapchat. Those were the deluded kind, and their words about being a snake or undeserving were ones she’d grown used to, and unaffected by.

Even so, the comment riled her up. She hated when fans assumed things about her life that they wouldn’t know. For one, she was friends with Katya. Secondly, how dare they assume she was just using Sharon? How dare they claim disgusting falsehoods from behind their keyboards, hidden warriors declaring that Alaska was using Sharon for her own benefit? They didn’t know that Alaska’s heart had been beating differently since they’d kissed, and how would they? They didn’t know Alaska had been falling hard for the past few months, and Sharon had fallen too, and how would they? They didn’t know that the overdose had shattered a gaping hole in her heart that bled with the worry that it would be too late for their love to survive, and how would they? How could they assume something so blatantly wrong? They knew nothing. Nothing at all.

“-irresponsible. But you already know, so I won’t keep going on. Morning, Lasky.”

Alaska sat up, forcing a smile onto her face to counteract the inevitable anger that came from reading comments about herself and the people she cared about. Michelle looked beautiful as always, her face creased with motherly concern, and Sharon’s pyjama top was undone all the way down, Alaska’s eyes instantly drawn to the sliver of exposed chest.

“I’m being lectured again about being irresponsible and taking drugs. It was an accident! But whatever.” Sharon informed her, and resumed her argument with Michelle.

The woman in question frowned. “How do you accidentally do drugs? You don’t just fall face-first into a pile of powders, Sharon.”

Sharon snorted. “No, you fall purse-first. I didn’t mean that it was an accident that I did coke. That was very much intentional.”

Even through the years of her sobriety, Alaska knew exactly what Sharon meant. It was never an accident. After so long, she still hadn’t forgotten. She never would. Memories like that just didn’t go away. It was seared into her mind forever, the way that the club lights would get brighter and the pounding of the music in her chest would spread to her head, her arms and fingertips, all through her body until she felt nothing and everything at the same time. The way she felt numb yet hyper-sensitive, seeing everything in vivid technicolour that made her ache in a painful but good way.

“She means how much she took.” Alaska said quietly. The memories flashing through her mind were scattered, frayed at the edges and missing chunks, and it made her feel sick. “It’s so stupidly easy to overdose, Michelle. You have no idea.”

Immediately, Sharon’s gaze lowered to her feet. The older queen knew exactly what Alaska was remembering, knew she was reflecting on their old club days.

“You just… you have a little and it’s fun, it feels good, it lowers your inhibitions, and then it wears off after like ten minutes. Ten minutes, that’s it. So you go get more, because you can’t feel it anymore and you want to feel it again. And then you keep doing it, because it lasts a little longer each time and you lose a little more sense every time but it still wears off. You forget that it builds up in your system and… and…”

Alaska couldn’t finish. The image of Sharon, with her dilated pupils and her quivering hands, leaning over the mattress to vomit on the carpet before falling back onto the bed, it was far too raw. Far too real. No matter what happened, no matter how she recovered or how many jokes would be made about it, that moment would never leave her. It had chilled her to the bone.

“You take too much. You overdose. You nearly die and ruin the tour and Christmas and any chance you had at redeeming your fucked-up reputation.” Sharon finished bitterly. “You worry your friends, you worry your mom, you worry anyone who bothered to care for you. It’s so easy, Michelle. It shouldn’t be, but it is.”

Michelle’s brow creased further, warmth and concern evident in her eyes. “Thank god you’re okay now. Why did you in the first place? I know you’re… partial to your illegal substances.”

Sharon bit her plumped lip and fidgeted. “Well, there is the fact that I like it, but… I don’t know. Is there ever a reason? I wanted to go out and party after stressing about the tour and arguments and all of that, and I happen to be a Ru Girl. People will give you anything when you’re a Ru Girl. Of course I said no the way a drag queen does, which sounds like ‘Sure!’ and the rest is drag. History. Her-story. Whatever. I’m alive, at least.”

Her attempt at lightening the mood, tossing in a few jokes to elicit a laugh, didn’t really work. Alaska smiled weakly, mainly out of tact, her emotions mirrored in Michelle’s face. The older woman looked as if she might tear up and hug the life out of Sharon in an instant.

“Right. Is the next rehab session soon?”

Sharon cut in before Alaska could drop a spiel that would keep Michelle happy. “Yeah, but I’m not going.”

“Oh shit,” Alaska muttered under her breath as Michelle’s face went from concerned to angered.

“Let me talk, first. Don’t look at me like that,” Sharon murmured. “I’ll go every now and then, but it’s not necessary. I know why I did it and what led me to that environment – I’m a fucking drag queen. Do I get urges? Yes, but I have Alaska by my side 24/7 to guilt me into being a good girl. I don’t need their goddamn group therapy where John the divorced father of three kids and heroin addict tells us he used to work in a bank. I can make this change on my own.”

Michelle didn’t look convinced, but she nodded. “If you think so. I’m gonna call or visit regularly, to check in. In the meantime, I know you’ve updated your social media, but I think you should speak to your friends who spent Christmas fretting about you.”

Alaska winced, knowing that the worries of their friends was one of Sharon’s biggest guilt-trippers, guaranteed to cause her mood to change. She’d already learnt how to tiptoe delicate around things that could trigger mood swings, but Michelle hadn’t been around to notice.

“Don’t fucking remind me.” Sharon grunted, but Alaska noticed that she reached for her phone from her pocket as Michelle walked out of the house. Her own phone began to buzz as Sharon typed.

-BOTS Ladies ❤-

Sharon: i’m an asshole. Sorry i ruined the tour and xmas.. cunt wait to see you all again when im allowed to be around people again

Phi Phi: jesus i thought you’d never text us

Detox: BITCH!! We were terrified!!

Courtney: don’t ever do that again, shags. I cried when i found out u were ok. Even willam bellend did

Sharon: not really planning on doing it again..

Jinkx: get better soon

Alaska: am i not a person??

Sharon: ur an alien..

Fame: are u two hanging out rn?

Katya: because what u see isn’t always a person

Jinkx: alaska are you with Sharon omg?

Jinkx: michelle told me nothing after u got out of the ER and ICU

Sharon: boo

At the same time that Sharon looked down at Alaska in the bed, Alaska shot her a sheepish smile. Her mind raced, but she really had no idea how else to relax.

Sharon vocalized Alaska’s thoughts. “You just told our friends that we’re currently in the same place, which can literally only be my home.”

Thankfully, the only undertones in her voice were ones of amusement. Sharon collapsed onto the bed next to her, a wide grin spreading onto her face as she watched Alaska try and figure out a response.

“Uh… I guess I did. Oops.” She managed.

Sharon cracked up. “You’re so stupid!” She laughed, shifting under the covers to where Alaska was still sat up. She pushed Alaska so she was also lying down and held both of her hands. “I wanna kiss your idiot face. You mind?”

Alaska chuckled, freeing her hands so she could tug Sharon closer. “My idiot face wants to be kissed.”

In an instant, Alaska completely forgot that she’d slipped up to their friends, because Sharon’s lips were connected with hers. The older queen’s teeth bit into Alaska’s bottom lip, sucking it gently as her hands roamed in her short dark curls. Her touch was soft but insistent, wantonly asking for more whilst keeping the boundaries between them. Flush against her, Sharon was cold from walking around the house, and she curled her body into Alaska’s for warmth and closeness as their tongues entered each other’s mouths. After a few seconds they pulled apart, needing air, and pressed their sweating foreheads against one another. When Alaska opened her eyes, she saw thick dark lashes and bright blue eyes watching her, the tiniest of smiles accompanying their loving gaze.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She panted, breathless. She couldn’t control the smile that made its way onto her face as she took in Sharon’s expression.

Sharon smiled wider. “Looking at you like what?”

“Like you love me.”

The blonde kissed her again, languid and luxurious, as if she had all the time in the world. A quiet gasp escaped from Alaska’s lips, but she was in too much bliss to care.

“Because I do, pumpkin. Every moment I get to kiss you is every kiss I missed out on in four years of fucking up. That’s a lot of lost time to make up for.” Sharon breathed, her gaze never once leaving Alaska’s face. Her skin was flushed red, her lips slightly swollen from kissing, her hair mussed from Alaska’s hands – in short, she’d never looked so beautiful. Alaska’s heart beat faster at the sight of her.

“Four years is a lot of time to make up for.” Alaska repeated, arching her neck as Sharon began to plant kisses along the bottom of her jaw. “Four long years.”

Sharon started concentrating on a spot just underneath the curve of her jawline, sucking at the sensitive skin there. When she was done, she kissed the red mark she’d left.

“I can handle that.” Sharon took a moment to breathe and speak, before instantly getting back to work at Alaska’s jaw and neck. Her facial hair was growing through again, the short, dark stubble, and Alaska knew Sharon had a thing for it. Back when they had been together before, although she had never admitted it out loud, Alaska always noticed the slight increase in affection – mainly kisses on her jawline – when she had facial hair.

“We should do something today.” Sharon said suddenly, nipping at Alaska’s ear.

Alaska laughed at Sharon’s imitation of what she herself used to do when they originally dated. “Like what? Isn’t the next rehab session later today?”

A hint of teasing laced Alaska’s words. She knew there was no way in hell she was going to get Sharon to go another time – at least not in the same week. Just as she expected, Sharon let out a loud whine.

“It’s Thursday! We agreed that I wasn’t gonna go today, don’t make me go back to that suicide-inducing church. They’ll make me speak to the fucking priest, I’ll burst into flames. I mean something fun! Just us.” Sharon’s plea was almost childlike, her feverish touch and hungry lips making way for wide blue eyes and a hopeful expression.

Alaska hummed, deliberately dragging her decision out. “Hmm… all I remember is you saying you’d cook if I didn’t make you go… I don’t know, Noodles.”

“Please!” Sharon begged. “Come on, I never use proper manners. Indulge me.”

“I’m gonna need some more persuasion than that. Indulge me, what? I’m missing some manners there.” Alaska taunted further.

Sharon sighed. “Can you pass me my glasses? I can’t see a goddamn thing.”

Alaska bit back a comment about Sharon’s age, choosing the path to a quiet life. Shifting over, she reached for the table where the blonde’s glasses were sat and managed to hook them onto her finger, practically flinging them at Sharon’s face. Sharon wrinkled her nose, filling Alaska with the uncontrollable urge to kiss it, and put the glasses on.

“There we are.” She said, satisfied, and pulled herself up. She positioned her hands either side of Alaska’s head, moving so her body hovered over hers. Alaska was essentially pinned into place.

“You look prettier when I’m wearing glasses.” Sharon stated, lowering herself down.

Her lips kissed Alaska’s gently, teasing her. She knew the light touch wouldn’t be enough, and Alaska would crave more as she always did. When Alaska tried to lift her head to intensify the kiss, Sharon drew back ever so slightly, so the pressure stayed tantalisingly soft. The ball was in her court.

“Are you persuaded yet?” Sharon breathed, not giving Alaska the chance to respond before resuming her unbearably gentle kiss. Alaska found herself shaking her head.

“You’re not? Okay, what about this?”

Sharon withdrew suddenly, and Alaska moaned at the loss of her warmth above her. She waited desperately for something else, something more, allowing her to get her own way and enjoy her time with Sharon.

What she received instead was entirely unexpected; a pair of strong red hands scrabbling at her sides, her stomach, under her arms, tickling her. Alaska shrieked and flailed, uncontrollable laughter escaping from her as she writhed about. Sharon knew all of her weak spots – a four year relationship had ensured that – and she abused them all, delighting in the squeals of laughter she was causing and joining in with a few joyful chuckles of her own.

“FINE! FINE! FINE! WE CAN DO S-S-SOMETHING! YOU DON’T HA-HAVE TO GO!” Alaska giggled, practically yelling the words. “FREE ME! L-LET ME GO!”

Instantly upon her surrender, Sharon laughed and leaned down again to kiss her, this time properly. Her weight on top of Alaska – lighter due to her stay in hospital – was comforting, and when they pulled apart, Alaska grinned dumbly.

“Your glasses bumped my nose.” She complained, rubbing the little red mark they’d left. “Have you got any ideas of what you want to do today?”

Sharon smiled, pushing them up with her middle finger. “Your nose bumped my glasses. I actually don’t know. We could just see if there’s anything to do and make something out of the day.”

“I like that.”

-

Appearing in public with Sharon wasn’t new to Alaska, especially not when they were in drag. Appearing with public in Sharon out of drag happened a few times, generally during BOTS or with friends, never really alone. Appearing with Sharon out of drag, in public, in Pittsburgh, with the knowledge that there was some kind of relationship-but-not-relationship happening behind the scenes? Alaska didn’t really know how to act.

The city had practically become a hive for fans of strange, weird, underground drag to flock to, or just fans of Sharon, Alaska and the Haus of Haunt. The two didn’t dare to hold hands or come across as too affectionate, because they just never knew who was going to see them. Not all drag race fans were skinny white twinks obsessing over Jeffree Starr, and all it would take was a single sneaky picture from a fan of the two acting differently to spark even more online drama. Alaska wanted to avoid as much of the drama as possible, even if Sharon had already added to it,

Thankfully, their walk down the streets of Pittsburgh had been fairly uneventful. No one really gave them a second look, not caring or not knowing who they were. Alaska knew the city had a great sense of pride for the two of them, but in the daytime they weren’t really stars. The true reverence was at night, in full paint, under the sweltering lights of a club. As two fairly ordinary looking guys, minus a little bit of Botox,  there was no point in staring. Unlike when they were in drag, there was really nothing to see.

“This feels so weird. We worked so hard to never be seen with each other.” Sharon mused. “I spent ages wanting to be with you and now it’s happened, it feels strange. Get what I mean?”

Alaska nodded. “Completely. I was just in denial, and now-”

“We’re here.” Sharon finished.

There was something symbolic about it, simply walking through the city. It was pleasant enough to walk around, enjoying the peace, but there was more to it. Every step felt like retracing an old memory – drunkenly stumbling down the road after a long show, kissing for the first time in the shelter of the bus stop when it rained, dates back when no one cared to learn their names. They’d come full circle, in a way. They were back where it had all started.

As they walked into the lesser-populated parts of the city, the amount of people thinned. The occasional group of kids skated past, but other than that, it was mostly empty. A few people walked past, but not enough for Alaska to feel too exposed. She slipped her hand into Sharon’s, smiling bashfully as Sharon gave hers a squeeze and didn’t object. For some reason, Alaska felt her heart swell. Sharon didn’t mind her showing a little bit of affection in public. Maybe things were changing.

Caught up in conversation, Alaska didn’t even notice the man walking in their direction until they collided, momentarily leaving Alaska dizzy. She opened her mouth, ready to apologise, and stopped when she saw Sharon’s expression.

The blonde looked shell-shocked, her lips parted slightly as she and the stranger stared each other down. Alaska tried to search for something familiar about him, but found nothing in his brown eyes, ruffled black hair, and lean build.

“Aaron. Good to see you.” He said, his voice expressionless.

Alaska frowned. Hardly anyone called Sharon Aaron. In fact, Alaska had only heard Michelle call her Aaron once, and that was in the hospital after just over half a decade of knowing her. Even Alaska herself usually called her Sharon. It was strange hearing her referred to as Aaron.

“You too, Mark.” Sharon replied, her voice even. Mark turned to Alaska, and Sharon quickly filled her in. “Alaska, this is Mark… my ex-fiancé. Mark, you know Alaska.”

Mark pursed his lips, his eyes cold. His gaze fell onto their entwined fingers. “I do know Alaska. You’ve reunited?”

Sharon coughed. “Let’s not do this, Mark. I really don’t want to do this.”

A sense of protectiveness welled up inside Alaska. Sharon’s voice was quiet, totally unlike herself. She seemed stripped of her confidence, something Alaska had been trying her best to preserve and build up since the overdose.

“Funny, I recognise those words from the night you told me I wasn’t good enough. He’ll get cold feet and leave you, the way he left me.”

Mark directed the last part towards Alaska, who glared at him. How dare he?

“You know it wasn’t like that.” Sharon sighed. “Things weren’t working. I was unhappy.”

Involuntarily, her grip on Alaska’s hand tightened. Alaska had had enough.

“Back the fuck up, Mark. It’s not your place to tell Sharon what makes her happy or criticise her for pursuing her own happiness. The last thing she needs right now is you stressing her out by being an asshole.” She spat.

Mark narrowed his eyes. “Oh? You care about her wellbeing? Again, funny how we broke up, you started talking again and then she took an overdose. I’m not saying it was intentional, but I’m saying that she’s always been good at lying.”

“That’s not true!” Sharon insisted, fiercely defending Alaska more than herself. “Don’t listen to him. Come on, let’s just get out of here.”

Mark scowled. “You’re good at brainwashing people, Aaron. I never knew you could do it to the same person twice. Thank god I got free from it.”

Without another word, Mark continued walking down the street, and Alaska tugged Sharon along, desperate to distract her from what had just happened. Sharon had told her back in the hotel room months ago that she’d had a fiancé she couldn’t bring herself to marry. No doubt Alaska had been mentioned, judging by Mark’s hostility towards the pair. Alaska recalled Sharon admitting that she couldn’t bring herself to say she loved him.

“Sharon?”

“Yeah?”

Alaska hesitated, but pushed on. “I love you.”

There was a long pause. Oh, shit, Alaska thought. I’ve gone and fucked it up now. This was going to be the part when Sharon couldn’t say it back, was just enjoying their hands-free, no stress thing they had going on. Perhaps Alaska had it twisted. But no, she was overreacting. Or was she? Sharon didn’t love her. But she did! She’d spent so long saying so. What if things had changed? Alaska was freaking out. The silence dragged on for what feel like hours, each second that ticked past stabbing into Alaska like a knife.

“I love you too.” Sharon responded. “I like saying that as long as I’m saying it to you.”

Alaska pulled the shorter queen into a whirlwind kiss, wrapping her arms around her and tilting her face upwards before letting her go and smiling.

“Shall we just go home? I can call a cab if you’re gonna find it hard to walk all the way back.”

Sharon brought Alaska’s hand to her lips and kissed it. “Whatever you want. I need to start thinking about you more.” Alaska’s insides felt warm, but something wasn’t right. A gust of cold wind on the back of her neck, a mosaic out of place in a beautiful picture. Everything was perfect but something just didn’t feel right. A feeling of foreboding began to encroach.

[bleeditout929]

I never thought we would reach this point. The point of no return. I hurt so damn much and I can’t blame anyone but myself. I’ve lost a lot in these last 6 months and I don’t know how to cope. I no longer have my better half and have to accept she’s I th someone else. For 5 years I’ve devoted my entire being to creating a family and still I have nothing but hurt to show for it. I’ve held on so tight just to watch her continue on the same path and tell me I’m no better. But I won’t let her take that from me because I’ve worked 3 different jobs at one point 2 at the same time. I got my drivers license and I’ve tried to push. When it came to school I waited for her but it doesn’t even matter. There’s no telling when I could have her to myself but what I do know is I didn’t have it before, I can’t have it now, and while we’re apart I’m left in the blind on how she’s going about life. She was never able to promise me we would get back together and there’s nothing she can promise me now that can help me through. I’m alone again and she still has her family. But some how through all this hurt I don’t want her to go but I can’t watch her kiss another man, watch him slap her on the ass, know there’s a man asking the woman I love to have sex with him and there be a possibility of it happening. I’m sick to my stomach with the thought of watching it for so long and to know after everything its just going to continue, pisses me the fuck off. She can never understand all the hurt I’ve sucked up because everything is “thrown in her face”, rather than an actual admission of being hurt. These men have affected my relationship and they’re still there while I’m without. I’m fucking angry and depressed and I have to figure it all out on my own. My kids are their kids again and I can’t do the back and forth of parent then just a friend of parent. I tried to force myself in place I didn’t belong and that was selfish of me. I loved her more than any person i have met in my entire life but i need to learn to love myself. I deserve to have the girl I love on my arm, in public, around my family, on dates, on get aways, without having to fear and hide. I want to tell my mom I’m in love, I want to make plans without having to have a lie to cover it up. I want people to know how happy I make my love and that our bond is the reason we smile. I don’t want to worry every time I leave what going to happen between her and the person she lives with. I hate knowing she stresses out trying to figure out who to make happy when I should be the only priority in that manner. I don’t want to feel bad that she had to “make things okay for me to come” when she should just be able to have me over. When making plans for our relationship it should only involve the two people in the fucking relationship! I couldn’t be touched because of someone else but to know you can touch someone else just fine and make a baby fucked me up but thts not something we could ever talk about. I have all these bottled up emotions and no where to put them. So much anger nd hurt that I know it’s best we take time apart because I myself am not far from snapping. I have trouble trusting the one person I devoted my heart too because of these fucking men. And all our relationship there was nothing I could do about my hurt but hope she could realize how I was being affected and hopefully Change it or bottle it up to forget about and move and hopefully never look back. I just needed her to be my happily ever after and I don't know if it’ll happen. Ida if we’ll even make it to next month do my late bday celebration. I can’t even tell her I don’t like the fact she’s moving her kids in with this man who’s been gettjng overly aggressive and tries to control you like he has the last 15 years, but that makes me the monster because I would rather we build that future. But you want to get house with this man so the kids can continue to see you both fight somewhere else then fine but, Don't ask me to be okay with it and stick around to watch this relationship that shouldve been over now continue as you move in a house while I'm by my fucking self missing you guys. Why should I put myself through that? I’ve been here and I want us now but she’s in her position that I’m unable to help her get out of. I can’t watch this shit no longer and act like I’m ok especially when I don’t have to anymore. I’m not okay and I’m not going to pretend anymore just to watch them fucking be a couple for another 5 years it’s all fuckin bullshit. I deserve better! I deserve more! I deserve a real relationship where touching each other doesn’t have a fucking consequence! I get paranoid to have conversations because I have to make sure I don’t say anything incriminating. Loving her had so many consequences that it drove me crazy, literally. I just hope we didn’t emotionally fuck each other up by denying rational feelings and forcing ourselves to think , act, live another way. I support her happiness but I won’t be okay watch in her go deeper into the shithole she’s stuck in, I’ve forced myself to sit through enough. That divorce wont happen anytime soon and it sucks because I dont know where our hearts will go as time passes. Right now I know her not talkin to me relieves so much stress I can hear the difference when we talk on the phone. Her without me is the best for her right now to because she can make those decisions without my hurt included. I should’ve never been included. I hope things go as she plans but I have to go off my own plans now and I’m scared. But if I focus on my reasons for doing this I might be okay. Lord please give us strength because I I want the chance to do things right. I just hope nothing happens in between that stops us from being together happily. And part of me is excited to chase her again I just hope this time there’s no boundaries. I pray one day we can have what we worked so hear to maintain and in the meantime I hope we are able to heal and our friendship grow. I will always love her and she will ways have a special place in my life and my heart. I’m going to miss you Beautiful. God Bless and Good luck.

[dangerouscrusadefire-blog]

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Car Insurance Question - will I have to pay if I cancel?

I am going to cancel my car insurance because I have not been driving my car - at all. It needs some work so it's been sitting at my house for a few months now. I kept the insurance going because I didn't want to have an uninsured vehicle in the parking lot and be blamed if someone hit my car. I pay $150/month which is crazy especially when not using the car. I am going to cancel the insurance because I am able to use another car. I have a bill due on the 13th - if I cancel today will I have to make this payment? Thanks in advance :) !

What is the estimated home insurance cost of $500000 home in littleton colorado?

What is the estimated home insurance cost of $500000 home in littleton colorado?

A question about car insurance?

whats your opinion, why car insurance is so high?. do you think the accidents on the road and up goes your insurance are young drivers, drunk drivers, junk cars on the road, or do you think its something else?i been driving since 1967 and i was in only 1 accident, so thats a pretty good record, i think, but iam going to town tomarrow, and i dont know whats going to happen before i get back home. anymore, iam always glad when iam back home, and off the road, but i guess your not even safe walking along the roads these days.thanks folks.""

Car Insurance Help!!!?

k my problem is my parents wont put me under there insurance or let me use theres so i have to get my own car insurance got some quotes and all of them want to charge me 400 to 500 dollars a month its crazy. can you guys help i was researching on how to insure my own car couldnt find anything how can i do that or how can i start my own insurance company so i dont hav to pay these money hungry bastards

What's the average progressive quotes for a young driver between 18 to 24?

What's the average progressive quotes for a young driver between 18 to 24?

Where to get Motor Trade insurance?

I'm 23 years old and I live in Bradford so getting a quote is near impossible. I've called a lot of Motor Trade insurance companies but none have been able to quote me either due to me being under 25 or because I live in Bradford. Do you guys know any companies I can try?

Can any help question bout car insurance?

just bought i fiat punt car today trying to find insurance and getting stupid quotes im 48 years old not some boy ra acer any body got any idea who i could try please leave there name and phone number if possible ...thank you

What should my first car be?

What should my first car be?

21st Century Car Insurance?

I have a weird question. I'd thought I'd ask you guys first. Here goes: My SUV got broken into. The steering column was damaged. My insurance, 21st century, had a tow truck take it to a shop. It was fixed.......TWO WEEKS LATER! I have full coverage, but my policy doesn't cover rentals. Well anyways my question is: Will my insurance pay for HALF my car payment since it took two weeks for it to get fixed? I know it sounds dumb, but I had to ask. Thanks.""

Insurance for a minor?

Ok im turning 17years old and i am going to buy a bmw m3 2003 Whats the best way i can get insurance, i dont know how exactly it works but i wanted to go under my dad. what is the cheapest and best way to get the insurance for my car. and how much will it cost""

""I need advice on selecting the right health insurance for me, one that covers accutane....plz help!?""

Hi all. i'm 20yrs old. i work full time, and the company that i work for offers Aetna Insurance, i believe...but i've heard that it's not that great. i need an affordable insurance plan, one that covers Accutane (acne medication) and dermatologist visits. plz help!!!""

Approximate Car Insurance Cost for 2005 Audi A4 Sedan for 16 Year Old Male in New York?

I want to buy a 2005 Audi A4 but was wondering about how much the insurance would cost? I am 16 years old and a male, living in New York. Thanks.""

DUI for minors and the effects on car insurance?

What is the effect on car insurance premiums of a first, second and third offense for a minor who drives under the influence of alcohol.""

I have an insurance question?

I was a passenger in an auto accident, and I am supposed to receive a payout from the drivers auto insurance. However I am concerned whether or not my heath insurance(who paid for my medical bills), will be able to access that money that was offered to me by the auto insurance company. Will they be chasing after the money for reimbursement?""

Where can I get the best Auto Insurance Quotes?

My semi-annual auto insurance renewal is coming up. I've shopped before and I think I'm already getting a damn good rate, but still I'd like to try to get an even better rate. I've tried both Geico and Progressive, and both quoted me over $200 higher per year than I already pay. Any other good suggestions? This would be for coverage in California.""

What if im 18 and want to pay for my own auto insurance?

I'm thinking about moving out of my house cause it sucks. I'd have to buy my own car and I'm thinking an older civic, cause they're reliable. Anyone got any ideas on what a good but cheap way to insure would be?""

Tips for cheaper car insurance?

I'm 19 next month and just passed my test in October and now also got a pass plus certificate but insurance is still sky high like 4000 a year Just for a 1.2 Vauxhall Corsa sxi.

Wwhat are the characteristics of disability insurance ?

Wwhat are the characteristics of disability insurance ?

How can I get the other driver's insurance co. to pay the full cost of rental car?

I was hit from behind and the other driver's insurance company has accepted liability but, they only want to reimburse me about $27/day for a rental car when I'll have to pay around $50/day. They are also dictating to me some terms about the duration of the rental car period based on the number of shop hours estimated for repair. I am wondering if there is some leverage I can use to make them pay 100% of the rental car cost for a reasonable car and duration.""

How much does insurance range to for motorcycles?

How much does insurance range to for motorcycles?

The world of car insurance?

the idea that dropping the price of car insurance for men a small amount and increasing the female amount a huge hike has nothing to do with gender that's the con it's the absolute greed of government and big business hand in hand raking in a fortune as they did when changing the  s p to the criminal decimal currency? the question is why do we Joe public put up with this crap

How much do you pay a month in auto insurance?

ok i am 23 years old..i live in the city. i was interested in getting a dodge charger r/t.. hemi included..anyhow, i called to get an insurance quote and they told me that i'd have to put 1000 down and pay 800 a month in auto insurance alone. i think that is so crazy. but if i move 20 minutes away i'd pay 550. i am so frustrated because i know that my age is working against me. my brother is financing a 2000 bonneville ssei and he is only paying 340 a month and he is 21. do you think the year and model of the car is what made the quote so high? what kinda car do you have and what is your monthly ins cost?""

How much is auto insurance for a 16 year old male?

its in michigan if that helps and i have a perfect record and a straight a student.

My dad says a 2 door car would be more on the insurance. Is this true? PLEASE ANSWER!!?

We went out looking for cars today and every 2 door car we saw he just kept walking by them. I dont know about him but Im a 2 door kind of guy. He said 2 door cars would be more Insurance. Is that true? I wanted to get this 2 door Cougar or maybe a 2000 or 2001 or 20003 Monte Carlo. WOuld that type of car add more to the Insurance? I really want the monte carlo. Im gonna be putting about $1400 down & the car cost no more than $5000.

Is my car insurance still valid?

My partner has been banned from driving, he is the first named driver on my car insurance and I am the second driver. Am I still insured to drive my car?""

WHere casn i get cheap insurance in toronto canada?

Hi guys i need help, where can iu get real cheap insurance for my car thanks""

Short term car insurance quotes?

Hi, are there any car insurance companies that can offer car insurance for a short term (6weeks) for young drivers? Im 19 and had my license since april now, but not been able to get my own car as im going to uni in september and cant afford to buy and insure one for a year. My boyfriend has just got a new car and is offering his old car to me for the weeks before uni to get to work etc so im after insurance for 6 weeks only but all the ones i have looked at wont insure a young driver. I wanted to go with Diamond insurance as they are cheapest for me but not sure if they will offer me short term cover. Help!""

How to get proof of financial responsibility?

I'm 21 a year old university student from California and I am graduating soon. I have always put off getting a license before college and once it started, I have been busy but because I want to get a job after graduating I really need my license pronto! My parents back home already taught me how to drive but I'm signing up for a driving school in my area just to practice and get the local roads down. I made an appointment for behind the wheel test next week and one of the things I need to bring is proof of financial responsibility. I know it's not insurance because I need a license to get that so how do I get it? I'm also probably going to borrow my friend's car for the test.""

How do i mail in insurance card for a ticket i received?

How do i mail in insurance card for a ticket i received?

I want to take a trip to europe how much do motorcycles cost there and how much is insurance?

Im thinking of going to the EU, as kind of like a backpacking trip, but on a motorcycle! I was wondering how things work in regards to prices of Bikes there, and insurance that covers anywhere I might plan to go! I need some help making this idea a reality! Oh I'm 18 and i have both my drivers licence and motorcycles licence, I reside in BC, Canada. Thanks!""

Do you think abortions should be payed by Medicaid or insurance?

Do you think abortions should be payed by Medicaid or insurance?

Good place to buy car insurance for an 18 year old?

I'm 18 and just recently passed my driving test. Problem is, my Dad wants to put me down as a second driver on his car but it's a BMW sport with a 2L engine. The cheapest quote I could find is 4,500 annually, which my Dad is not prepared to pay of course. Some companies were even asking for 40,000 which is just a joke! I have been driving this car for over a year and now that I finally have my license, I'm pretty annoyed that I'm not able to drive the car that's just sitting outside. Anyone know any other routes I could take? Weekly car insurance? Monthly? Ideally I'd like to have a quotes of less than 1600 annually, but now it seems unlikely. Buying another car is not an option as I'm going to Uni in a couple of months and will not be needing it anymore. Any suggestions would be helpful, thanks.""

Auto Insurance on a 16 year old Living in GA?

Can I Use My Dad Or My Mom Insurance to be cheaper it a 4 door

What should my first car be?

What should my first car be?

How much does insurance for a motorcycle cost?

I currently don't own a motorcycle but am curious the cost of insuring it. I live in Vermont so I would only be riding it from June to September. I would probably be riding a 2002 Yamaha YZF R6.

Question about insurance (car insurance).?

If im a new teen guy driver, would buying an old range rover (2000) cost a lot for insurance?""

Who is the best and most affordable company to go through for homeowners insurance ?

Who is the best and most affordable company to go through for homeowners insurance ?

Is there dental insurance with the Affordable Health Care Act?

Is there dental insurance with the Affordable Health Care Act?

How much can home insurance cost?

i want to buy a home and i need to know how much my insurance might be.

""Can auto insurance drop you for changing deductible, then filing a claim?""

I have a $1000 deductible, but want to file a claim to get my car fixed from an incident a while ago (like years ago) because I want to sell it for tuition money. No other vehicles, ...show more""

Will my insurance go up for my speeding ticket?

I just recently got a speeding ticket or doing 46 in a 30. (which wasn't possible) I'm only 16 and it is my first ticket. My parents will kill me when they find out. We have stated arm insurance and only liability on the car but will the insurance go up and/or cause my parents to fin out?

How much will insurance cost for a 16 year old?

im 16 years old and i wanna get a 1965 mustang and im wondering how much insurance would cost even if under my parent's plan

""I am interested in purchasing life insurance, but lack general knowledge of the industry?""

What kind of life insurance would be best suited for a 26 year old in good health who is the sole income in the family? Keep in mind that I support a stay at home husband, and have 3 children. No assests and no debt. Thanks.""

Question about car insurance?

I'm wondering something about car insurance. I am a 17 year old male, (turning 18 in 1 month) and have been driving a 2001 Hyundai accent since October. I am insured with esurance, and have liability only. I have a clean driving record. My monthly insurance is $197. I am on my parents policy. When I first called to get a quote, (cheapest company for me) it was around 120 a month, but then they got the VIN number and of course it went up because it knew exactly what car it was. Of course car insurance is very expensive for a male my age. My question is that I'm trying to save money to buy a jeep wrangler this summer. Will probably be a year 1997-2003. I want to know about how much it would cost to insure the jeep. I hear mixed responses about the cost to insure a wrangler, iv heard it's expensive because of the high theft rate and roll over chances. I know of course I don't know how much it will be exactly, considering I don't have a VIN number for the jeep wrangler. I get extremely expensive quotes when I search online, and the are all completely off. My parents policy has probably 4 or 5 cars on it and I am excluded off everyone's car. My sister has been in 2 wrecks and 2 speeding tickets, which I heard makes my insurance increase also. Anyone who has a general idea about cost for me to insure a jeep wrangler, thank you.""

Can a lender file a claim against your insurance company after repossession?

My car was repossessed on 9/11. I attempted to get my car back..but Wells Fargo played games..such as saying the car is on its way to the auction...no, its still there and we can't place a hold on it..it leaves for the auction in a couple of days. So, I went and got me another car. Now, today..I find out that they are filing a claim for the very day that they took the car. The claim was filed at 1:06 today. However, the car was not insured on that very date. Also, I had to sign some papers to reinstate the policy to the effect that no claims would be filed because NO accident occurred. Will the lender be able to file against my insurance policy under these circumstances?""

Cyclist and insurance?

I am having a debate with a few people about cyclist with insurance, One thing I would like to know, If I hit a cyclist and damage his bike, Would my insurance cover the cost of a new bike? or injury? This is for the UK""

Car and insurance problem.?

If I was in the process of getting a driving lesson from my instructor, I crashed his car. Am I suppose to be in charge of this, but I don't have a license yet. So, am I going to be the one who pays for the insurance or the instructor?""

How much would insurance be for me?

I am 19 years old and gonna buy a used car soon. My parents have never drove or owned a vehicle in their life. I live in San Francisco. I know the insurance gonna be expensive for me.. Is there a way to get cheaper insurance?

How can we get health insurance?

My Fiance (22) and I (18) are planning to get married November 30th, but if we do, I will no longer be covered by my mother's health insurance. We live in NY (currently Broome County) and we need cheap to free health insurance. At the moment, both of us (full-time students) have an income of zero, with no pay stubs (obviously) or other proofs of income. How can we get health coverage?""

Best overall car insurance company?

In your opinion (or based on any experiences) what is the best kind of car insurance?

What would insurance on a 2001 Mustang GT be in Michigan?

I'm deciding between a Mustang GT and any V8 Ford pickup. The mpg on the Mustang will be probably at least 5 miles per gallon better than the pickup, but I'm sure insurance will be more. I want to know which one would be cheaper to own in the long run. I plan on driving about 40 miles per day for work and this would be my first car. I am in highschool so the insurance will be even higher than if it were for an adult.""

Insurance higher on Acura or Honda?

Purchasing a car either 2010 Acura csx or 2013 Honda civic , and I'm curious if the insurance would be higher on one or the other? Any opinions would be awesome. Thanks in advance!""

30 day insurance policy for newborns?

I am a teen mom and since the baby can't be covered under my parents insurance we are planning to do a legal guardianship, however you cannot get guardianship of an unborn child so we are doing it after he is born. But I was wondering if right after he is born if the hospital bills will be under my parents insurance because I have heard there is a 30 day period in which you need to get the baby's insurance arranged. So during the 30 days would the baby's hospital stay and everything be covered while we get the insurance arranged? Thank you!""

Not declared 3 points on my license to insurance company is my insurance void?

9months after taking out my insurance I got done for speeding (sp30) 3 points on my license and I forgot to tell my insurance company. Today someone pulled out in front of me and hit my car, will not declaring my points cause me an issue with the claim? It wasn't my fault and my insurance company is looking to recover all costs from the third party. What do you think? Bit worried as insurance is arranging repairs, car hire etc and concerned about being stuck with a big billl if there is a problem with my insurance. Any advice greatly appreciated""

How much would a $500K life insurance policy cost?

I am a healthy 32 year old female.

Need a group for medical insurance?

Employer offers very skimpy medical insurance. Individual (i.e., non-group) insurance is very expensive. I have heard that groups have been formed so that members will qualify for group rates. Please tell which groups these are, and what you know about them. Many thanks.""

How to get auto insurance quote/ estimate without a car?

I am doing a research, and heard that ur insurance can be based on not just the model but the color of the car. I want to know how to get an estimate based on vehicle, model. So that I can make a diligent choice when purchasing my new car.""

How much would I be paying in insurance if I become a CRNA?

How much would I be paying in insurance if I become a CRNA?

Staying on parents health insurance in NJ?

As the title states, I am wondering if I am eligible to stay on my parent's health insurance (we live in New Jersey and my dad gets the family insurance through his job in Delaware). I am 23 years old, not in school, and my job offers health insurance. I have read that the law allows children under the age of 27 to remain on their parent's health insurance UNLESS the kid's job offers health insurance. As I stated, mine does offer it. HOWEVER, an older coworker of mine told me that her children were able to stay on the family health insurance until age 27 even though the kids' work offered insurance because the cost of the insurance at the child's job was over $25 per week. The cheapest policy at my job will cost me just over $30 per week. Unfortunately, I have not found any trace of this $25 rule anywhere online. Is this a true policy? If insurance isn't offered cheaply enough, can I stay on my parent's policy? Can anyone shed some light on this?""

What should my first car be?

What should my first car be?

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