#im so done. genuinely
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it genuinely feels like every time im having a major breakdown i am fully invisible to everyone
#except juliet but i wasnt actively talking to him so i deleted discord again LMFAOO#sorry bbg ur my favorite people i always talk about u#besides her#i likr. ik people care#im also invisible to literally everyone else#probably dissociation but also. idk!1!1!2!#i always feel like im screaming for help and no one can fucking hear me#and ik people say like ‘oh people would miss u’ no they wouldnt#no one ever gets excited to see me. not like people do with others#so true taylor swift im also doing everything to get ‘you’ looking at me#i would genuinely kill someone to get my friends to notice me and im so fucking done#sorry im crazy i guess 😍🙏#people would care if i died but not enough#what fucking significance do i have. like really#‘no one cares for me as much as i do for them’ type shit lolzy!1!1!#im so done. genuinely#vent#tw sui ideation#tw homicidal ideation#< just in case#anyway. im just. so. done#i hate everyone no one understands me no one sees me im invisible to everyone etc#this happens like wvery week then i ignore it#cause theres nothing i can do to change anything#and then i just push everything down til i have another breakdown#theta chats
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was it casual when i sat in your lap in public? was it casual when i said "recently my heart is crying because you're leaving"? was it casual when we decided how your last name would fit with mine? ("yuki tsunoda-gasly" / "no tsunoda, only gasly" / "yuki gasly?") was it casual when we sang adele's "someone like you" together at your going away party? was it casual when i knew it was you just by touching your ass? was it casual when i knew it was you by smell alone? was it casual when "will you miss me?" / "for 2-3 minutes maybe" / "i'll take that. even if it's just 2-3 minutes, i'll take that"? was it casual when that bus was completely empty and we still sat right next to each other, all the way in the back? was it casual when i picked you up multiple times so you could dunk a basketball? was it casual when i begged to come over to your house multiple time and then you finally let me and we cooked fried rice together? was it casual when we played christmas twister together and i said "your big eggplant is touching my ass"? was it casual when we were pressed up against each other on a scooter going two miles per hour? was it casual when-
#edit: tinytauris fact checked my post and they sang 'hello' not someone like you & it was 'your big monster' not eggplant#everyday i think about the fact that yukierre should've been what lestappen is now#i should be able to go on the yukierre tag on ao3 and it should say 'showing 1-20 of 6745'#they were genuinely so fuckingg weird about each otherrrrrr#im being so serious when i say that if they ever came out as gay/bi/whatever i really wouldnt be surprised#literally just 'okay?? fork spotted in kitchen cmon now' moment#anyway i think about that moment on the bus soooo often#will you miss me? / maybe for 2-3 minutes / ill take that then. even if it's just for 2-3 minutes ill take that#hwat the FUCK#i was going 'gay gay homosexual' everytime i saw them together#yukierre#yuki tsunoda#pierre gasly#also im like 90% sure that everyting i worte down actually happened but if i wrote smth down that didnt happen#and my yukierre infested brain just conjured up please let me know#also ive had this is in my drafts foreverrrr (re: since july) so if this has already been done im so sorry#i always feel like such a loser making posts about driver relationships lol#like 'oh look at that weirdo that got too invested in people she doesn't even know'#whatever im getting to introspective now#1k
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Todoroki Touya ✩ Dabi
↳ through the years
#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bnha#mha#bnhaedit#dabi#torodoki touya#q#myedit#im so sad yall........ like genuinely so sad#this was a really really gorgeous episode though like it was beautifully done
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zoros my farmer on sdv. i drew his current outfit with my mouse
#he looks like a smurf it brings me so much joy.#i have HATED stardew for as long as i can remember just bc i genuinely didnt have the attention span for it sadly. never made it past fall#and then as soon as i made zoro in the farmer creator i locked on target and now i suddenly have ~70 extra hours.#like im an insane person. just stone me to death#also drawing with ur mouse is so fun and freeing why havent i done this in so long. the perfectionism left my body#the chickens names are marek. marek 2. and shithead btw#wtf... art#zoro#roronoa zoro#one piece fanart
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RAHHHh ok comics done I can post this now!!! He is having the worst possible time
#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#fanart#body horror#weredeer#idk why I made myself wait until the comic was done like I didnt show the deer stuff#Ough but Im too impatient to wait any longer#current idea is that transformations are based on mental state#antlers for general stress#more animalistic when hes miserable or angry#Generally just making whatever spiral he's already in way worse#I like to think he starts getting more mentally feral when hes mad but he notices it happening and gets so scared he stops being angry#Like the idea of losing his mind makes him genuinely terrified#he exchanges one spiral for another ♥#I had some doodles that didnt fit where he had particularly overgrown antlers#have you ever seen those pictures of deer with overgrown antlers they look diseased and I wanted to capture that#they are heavy painful and most importantly very unnatural#unfortunately drawing overgrown antlers is very difficult for me and didnt look nearly as nasty as I wanted#its one of those things you can immediately pin as wrong in real life but is harder to get across in a cartoony style
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asdjfsgdk eric's "WOOOO!" giving 'white friend who records you bowling and goes hooray! :D'
#assad zaman#eric bogosian#iwtv#interview with the vampire#video#ok thats it im done with the rpf posting#but this is genuinely so sweet and funny. Old Man hearing your name and going 'Woo! :D'
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Doing master studies the only way I know how: Stealing them and making them my guys.
(Barberini Faun)
(The Fallen Angel - Alexandre Cabanel)
(Covent Garden - William Bruce Ellis Rankin)
#obviously. not actually theft...#i was gonna say these are public domain but covent garden actually isnt yet#it will be. in two years.#thats the most different one though like i added a whole new guy..#maybe not the most different. barberini faun is pretty different i just took the post#pose#its barely even a study. thats not true#but. what was i saying.#oh its not theft it's study... the purpose is to learn!!! but also. if im gonna spend like 2 days on something...#its GONNA be my guys#otherwise. idk. i only want to spend 30 or so minutes per study#just to get the notes down and the practice for the skill im working on#i dont get all that much more out of completely rendering a master study. PERSONALLY.#at least definitely not enough to be worth taking 100x longer#but making them my characters makes it worth going all the way!!!#plus it's good practice w like. not just going 1:1 but actually genuinely interpreting whats there so i can manipulate it...#again. personally. this is just how i worm#WORK#youd better worm bitch#uhm... anyways yeah. ive done lots of study but why TF share it LMAO i dont even save it#its just to learn. ive got 1 million other drawings to save and look at later.#once the learning is done it's done its job and i have no need anymore#this is why the only studies i have are from school. i had to save and upload them#well. ok also i dont study as much now BUT in my defense im a full time artist#an hour or so a week is different ok im learning while working too.. i learned how to learn and i do it all the time now#master studies#digital art#my art#illustration#my ocs
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one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible
like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that
#zedaph#hermitcraft#genuinely i adore the clucky few project im not even done watching the episode and i had to pause and make this post#i saw impulses video first and went ''that HAS to be some sort of datapack or something-''#only to immediately go ''no. no it cant be. because this is zed#and its practically a trademark of his to push the limits of the game as far as possible in the direction least expected#not for the purpose of efficiency or spectacle or intimidation or whatever like some players who push limits#but purely for the purpose of making something so funny you cant help but laugh at whats going on#and maybe being a bit impressed that he ever thought of it in the first place''#at which point i went ''holy shit. since its zed doing this. somehow he ACTUALLY got a villager on a chicken. with no cheats. thats INSANE'#i was relieved when i checked my subscriptions to see what the next video i had to watch was and saw he would be next in line#bc if i had to sit through 19 other hermits videos before i could watch his and find out what the fuck he was doing i would have been so sa#sidenote but i feel like a zed video where he interacts with this many other people all in the same video is so rare#idk i didnt watch season 9 and i know he started collabing a lot more w/ other hermits then#so maybe its not nearly as rare these days#but like the last one that *i* saw where he interacted with this many people at once was towards the end of season 8#when all the people he experimented on earlier in the season came back to experiment on him#and like i would like zeds videos with or without the collabs. but its a lot of fun to see him interact with people#so its very cool to me when he does it with a lot of people all in the same video
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woag .. otp
#fma#royai#riza hawkeye#roy mustang#talking to user chrysopoeias reminded me of this doodle i posted on twitter ages ago#im too dumb to make analysis textposts with my opinions so you get (checks notes) royai experiencing post nut clarity#about how funny i think it is that riza bases all her self value into how useful she is or isn't being#while roy is like wow.. i love riza can't believe she still by my side after all i've done ..#in the hospital scene after the lust fight where roy is scolding her there's a part he says he's going to keep trusting her with his back#and she looks genuinely surprised as if she really expected him to just throw her out because she failed and lost her utility#when he's mostly angry because riza gave up on life so easily and he doesn't want her to die. he can't live in a world without her#riza babe ur so mentally ill <3
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Snap: *draws a Megaman-inspired Magneto*
Me: ...Perfect modernization.
wait now that its not 3AM i can do you one Slightly better
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#snap sketches#this is legitimately the most self indulgent thing ever ive been wanting to draw magneto like a robot master for months vjAELKJAE#i thought about adding the little 'ears' robot masters/reploids have but not this time#whats funny is that during my initial redesigning i WANTED to pay homage to erik's trench coat look buuuutt i couldnt figure how#so thank you sigma for. letting me steal your shit vjELKAEJ#i havent drawn megaman characters in like. years good lord- whats funny is that magnetman Was one of my faves to draw#which doesnt mean much since i loved drawing pretty much all the robot masters equally LMAOOO#i remember some freak got pressed at me for doodling metalman during class once like dawg what is your problem#bruv leave me ALONE let me draw you are not my mom#anyway. as i said last night i dont have my usual evening class so i figured id fill the time doodlin these#they didnt take long- i think thats why i like drawing This magneto outfit so much#reminds me of my megaman doodlin days ... also it's genuinely just quick as hell WHICH. makes sense#all that done im done megaman-inspired posting thank you for the opportunity anon im glad you appreciated it :]]#im gonna go eat now my tummy rumblin. theeeeeeen i guess ill drive home ???? i guess.#it's almost saturday so that means i get to post more asks- ive been hoarding them throughout the week#so i apologize if some people have been waitin i PROMISE i havent been ignoring i just wanna draw somethin for it </3#ok im eating now BYYYYYYEEE
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no bc wdym they were the last thing the other saw, heard, and felt.
#rem is typing ..!#i’m fucking s o b b i n g#im so done#crushed destroyed ruined#i held strong until then#no tears nothing#then they go HOLDING EACH OTHER#FOREHEADS FUCKING TOUCHING#all they knew was the other in the end and that was exactly what they both wanted.#genuinely destroyed#yaoi canon but at the cost of being doomed#arcane#arcane league of legends#jayce talis#viktor#viktor arcane#jayvik#arcane spoilers#arcane lol spoilers#arcane league of legendds spoilers
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this isn't at all meant to be condescending or finger-waggy because 100% we all have blind spots like this, but I'm really, really hoping that the people who never found Gaiman's approach to his own fandom concerning in any way will take this all as a learning moment.
he was an older, hyper-famous author engaging directly and frequently with an online audience of largely vulnerable young marginalized people. he presented himself as cultured and worldly, and made himself approachable as someone to go to for advice, encouragement and "wisdom." his manner of speech was extremely pathos-heavy and clearly intended to be comforting and encouraging in exactly the way his target demographic needed it to be to swallow every word. the way he spoke about stories and creativity was designed to make young creative hopefuls feel special and important, while sweeping real analytical techniques under the rug - in hindsight, likely so no one would think too critically about the disturbing amount of patriarchal abuse played for cheap shock value and voyerism in his own body of works.
Gaiman saw a target demographic that was desperate for an older creative role model to tell them they were worth something, and he exploited that pain to twist a narrative around himself where he was king and any critique leveled at him or his works were the enemy.
to be clear, he could have been innocent. he could totally have been just an out-of-touch old man saying nice things to people because he wanted to be kind and he thought he was a lot smarter than he really was. red flags are warning signs, not a surefire way to tell if someone is actually "secretly shitty."
but if you used to look up to him, PLEASE take this moment to revisit the ideas you absorbed from him. did you take his words to heart because they seemed to have objective merit? or did you take them to heart because it felt good to believe what he said? do you still hold these values? does knowing he was intentionally manipulating his online audience make you less certain? do you need more information from a different source before deciding one way or another?
again, I'm just really, really hoping people on here will take a moment to reevaluate the ideas and opinions he's injected into tumblr fandom culture, because his reach is immense and he has absolutely been manipulating popular perception of relevant topics to gain further influence and control the narrative around both his own and Pratchett's legacy. please, please take this moment to notice what he's been doing - and next time someone tries to pull the same shit, hopefully we'll be able to apply what we've learned from experience.
#deerchatter#abuse cw#im going to be honest i came to hate him over his years on tumblr.#even if he'd done nothing wrong he was normalizing an extremely unhealthy relationship between a fandom and creator#and he always spoke with so much pathos and so little actual substance. he's an idiot desperate to seem smarter than he is#obvs didn't assume anything about his actual moral character but he sure was spreading some toxic ideas intentionally or not#absolutely heartbreaking and horrible that things turned out to be as bad as they were.#genuinely wrote this out because im hoping this can all AT LEAST make some people aware of the tactics he was using#so the next shithead celebrity who rocks up to social media with an agenda won't have as much reach#counting on people to read the best intentions into this post. i don't give a shit about celebrity drama i want people safe#edit: actually fuck it putting this in the tag#neil gaiman
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too many of you guys think nico is the loser and not lewis for letting the divorce go on for so long. like they're both losers about each other. emotionally constipated idiots who can't talk about their toxic homoerotic friendship that imploded on itself like 8 years ago and are now making it everyone else's problem. yeah nico's on television or in beer gardens talking about lewis all the time but like every other month some reporter is like "lewis, what's your favorite moment in your career?" and lewis no hesitation is like "oh man, karting, y'know? everything was simpler then" and then spends another six months skirting around nico's name. like this whole thing they're doing in the media isn't some kinda extended foreplay for them. they're both still pressing on the bruise to make sure it's still there!!! every few months, they're literally just asking on public television, does it still hurt for you like it does for me? and like clockwork, someone will release new information about them or one of them will say something about each other (in my heart, he's still my best friend/yes... and teammate) and the answer will remain the same, yes, of course, always.
#lewis is unarguably more famous than nico. like i feel like this a fact. and yet every other day nico is in the press saying some crazy shit#about lewis. if i was famous i woulda shut that shit down soo long ago. my ex-bf is in the press talkin bout me constantly??? that feels#like such bad pr and yet!!! lewis has not done anything. why? cause he likes it!!! cause they've never moved on from the 1st moment they#broke each other's hearts. like this is genuinely insane.#im always so nervous to post my thoughts on brocedes cause so many of you were here b4 me and have a better understanding on them#and like being a wrong is like a death sentence to me but still please tell me if i got them completely wrong#i have a lot of thoughts on lewis and his reluctance to talk about nico... most of them being that one quote from emma#if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more#ok obligatory disclaimer: a lot of this is hyperbole. i don't think that they're asking lewis that ? every other month#but there are like at least 5 interviews where he talks about karting like they're his most precious memories#so make of that what you will#and obv i don't know these people but as someone who's brain chemistry has been permanently changed by them#i think i'm allowed to not only project onto them but also make stupid little posts analyzing them#anyway yeah#f1#lewis hamilton#nico rosberg#brocedes
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i have to say the entire thing with blowing up mumbo's door was just. flawlessly executed in both concept and result. grian's like number one personality trait on the hermitcraft server, aside from being a troublemaker, is how much hes obsessed with mumbo. this man is completely deranged about mumbo. he's made it ABUNDANTLY clear he wants that crown just for the sake of having an object that proves he's mumbo's best friend. everyone knows this and has known this since he joined the server.
so to then take this desire, and trick/force grian into setting off a tnt trap that destroys mumbo's FANCY REDSTONE DOOR? oooh. ooohohohoh. it's so good. it immediately lands grian in a position that looks terrible, where he has to justify and explain what actually happened. it's redstone so he obviously can't fix it, unlike if just a portion of the build was blown up. he can't pretend it didn't happen and fix it before mumbo sees, because the tnt was placed where it actually hurts: the redstone design. it interplays perfectly back into the original sin of breaking doc's machine.
it also plays the psychological card--mumbo's only got one best friend, and it's not you. how could it be you? look how you just blew up something he worked so hard on! you can have the crown, but it's your actions that matter, and your greed to prove your friendship to mumbo with the crown has forced you to hurt him instead. it uses grian's desperation (insecurity?) against him to (potentially) drive them further apart. OUCH.
10/10 flawless torture. i'm incredibly pleased.
#grian#hermitcraft#mumbo jumbo#docm77#...i'm guessing it WAS doc like grian thought? i have not seen his side of it so i'm taking grian's assumption at face value#but i am also well aware of how the first prank war started xD#anyway do i think this would genuinely harm grian and mumbos friendship? of course not lol thats why it was done#it's more the MESSAGE. the POTENTIAL that couldve resulted from the action.#im eating it up
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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Nico: SHIT I can't see anything. What are we going to do?
Will: Wait, I've got this *cracks his knuckles*
Will: *starts to glow like a glow stick*
Nico:
Nico: WHAT
#genuinely dont know if this has been done before if so Im sorry#solangelo#pjo hoo toa#hoo#nico di angelo#will solace#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus
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