#whatever im getting to introspective now

[introspectivememories]

was it casual when i sat in your lap in public? was it casual when i said "recently my heart is crying because you're leaving"? was it casual when we decided how your last name would fit with mine? ("yuki tsunoda-gasly" / "no tsunoda, only gasly" / "yuki gasly?") was it casual when we sang adele's "someone like you" together at your going away party? was it casual when i knew it was you just by touching your ass? was it casual when i knew it was you by smell alone? was it casual when "will you miss me?" / "for 2-3 minutes maybe" / "i'll take that. even if it's just 2-3 minutes, i'll take that"? was it casual when that bus was completely empty and we still sat right next to each other, all the way in the back? was it casual when i picked you up multiple times so you could dunk a basketball? was it casual when i begged to come over to your house multiple time and then you finally let me and we cooked fried rice together? was it casual when we played christmas twister together and i said "your big eggplant is touching my ass"? was it casual when we were pressed up against each other on a scooter going two miles per hour? was it casual when-

[selunesfavouriteprincess]

I can’t even lie over time this pathetic little elf has grown on me and now I really like her as a character. she’s SUCH a loser. and someone said that she should’ve been recruitable instead of Halsin after uncovering the Shadow Druid plot and she could’ve had a redemption arc and now I can’t stop thinking about that alternate reality

[toastsnaffler]

in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....

[pepprs]

hi update as of an hour ago i have a THERAPIST!!! an actual licensed therapist!!!! we have our first session on monday 😭💗

[fearforthestorm]

it is such a shame that rainstorms are a consistent migraine trigger for me because I love the rain so much but especially I love the way that the rain makes my city look. it goes all gray and lit-from-within at civil twilight and the skyscrapers at city center stretch up so high that the shapes lose definition and it's something that I am just so so fond of.

[vamptastic]

i think my constant seething rage is honestly very reasonable. i literally live in florida.

[sweetlady555]

my personal experiences/introspections with having moon square mc, moon square venus, moon square chiron, moon square neptune and moon square saturn | as i believe some of us may know moon can rule the mother, emotions, home & family etc.. so here are some of my experiences with having these aspects in my natal chart *tw : slight mentions of abuse*

Moon Square MC 1° : when i had my first job at 16 i had these older co workers who would constantly talk shit on my name, i dont know WHAT IT IS but the day i first found out i completely shut down and cried in the bathrooms at work😭. i felt so low that it was present to the customers and co workers around my age. Its so weird because whenever i ended up working somewhere the managers would get all cold towards me? like i was literally 16 raw dogging a job because they couldnt care less to teach me anything 😭 i also felt during work i had to put on a fake persona just to be liked and it fucked with my entire identity and still to this day i still have challenges with it especially because my moon is in my 6h so I usually tend to find comfort in overworking myself but it usually doesnt end up doing me any good because of that.

Moon Square MC 1° : when it came to my family while having this placement lets just sayyyy there is a lot of conflict and still to this day. both my parents go around trying to constantly bash my image like what? my dad used to go to my school just to gossip about me to all the office ladies, they called him out obviously because ????? My parents have both talked terribly about me to others which affected how other family members see me. My family also doesnt like the way i present myself either so they choose to keep me hidden or bash on my name for that.

Moon Square Venus 1° : I used to be really lovey with the opposite gender but I found myself becoming colder/detached when it came to relationships over the years. Im afraid of vunerability but I want to be vunerable!! I also notice within myself that I tend to go for partners/friendships that usually are older than me because I had to mature at a young age. I also tend to go for men who are emotionally unavailable #thanksmomanddad. Most of my relationships i tend to struggle with expressing the way I feel when it comes to wanting love and affection so this usually ends up with my relationships feeling detached and not lasting very long. I feel like this is also the reason why my exes only come back which is when they want a good time because they don’t see me as someone they could be with for a long time.

Moon Square Venus 1° : With my mother there was always this saying that a mothers love is unconditional blah blah whatever that is 😒… My mom kicked me out when I was like 12 because she felt like I wasn’t a good enough daughter almost like I didnt “earn” to be her daughter which is insaneeeeeeeuh …… I always had to put this perfect persona aswell when it came to my mom to be the “perfect daughter” and she loved this idea of me so much that if i messed up she would immediately disown me but im not gonna get into too much detail now 😹 my mother to me is the only person who can trigger my wounds

Moon Square Chiron 3° : Obviously as yall can tell with the amount of moon square aspects i have it left me with a lottaa long lasting effects on me #scarred im still currently living with my parents but i plan on moving out next year, although ive tried to heal multiple times throughout my teen years, the same situations and the same feelings i had when it all first happened all come back again. but there is hope so im not too sad about it!!! With my mom, she would often come to me for emotional support, i remember i was like 10 and she would cry to me how she was gonna ☠️ herself and me being 10 i didnt know what to do but this made me emotionally mature so young. Also I felt like the roles were reversed in the household making me take the care giving role when it came to me living with my mom. My mom would constantly seek my validation and my empathy for her situations so i can help victimize her for her stupid behaviours/situations. There is nothing wrong with a mother wanting to confide in her daughter but she definitely did it to where the only intent was to help her ego or to gain control over me. While living with my parents, I also felt as if I was “unlovable” shying away from relationships because if my parents were able to see me that way what makes my partner not being able to see me that way either? Recently though I had a very nice ex who I saw 2 months ago who I got a lil too drunk with and I had opened up and told him all of this 💀 he was so sweet though despite me being so cold and detached he told me “how could anyone not love you just look at you” and it changed my perspective so bless his soul

Moon Square Neptune 4° : Throughout my entire childhood/teens where I faced abusive family situations, I always went to escapism like excessive day dreaming and idealizing a life outside of my parents houses/other people i mean but can you blame me 😭 although i really do enjoy day dreaming its also hurt me, because i tend to think the grass is greener on the other side. i also dont feel all the way connected with reality, ive dissociated so much that its just became my normal now especially with the moon being in the 6h ruling daily routines and such. i tend to idealize people, situations and even myself like a lot to cope with these feelings, even when they arent as bad as they used to before the illusions still stuck with me, I feel like a illusion in general lol and this goes with how i see my family aswell.

Moon Square Saturn 4° : with my parents its very very cold and detached i havent been fully emotionally nurtured by my parents since i was like 10 😭 my parents put really high standards on me and are very critical if i dont meet them or act the way they like and this would lead to extreme reactions from them like verbal/physical abuse when i was younger that I learned to put up with up until now. With moon representing the mother and saturn representing the father they tend to clash a lot. they both tell me how much i remind them of one another and thats the main reason they dont like me anymore.

thank you for making it this far, i went in depth with this one since i have so many moon square aspects i thought it would be a good idea to share my own self observations for anyone whos looking into moon aspects!

although i am faced with all these challenges i still look forward to a new day and it’s helped me gain independence and confidence within myself and my strength so im grateful for these experiences:)

that being said

have a blessed day ੈ✩‧₊˚ ,

@ sweetlady555

[cookie-nom-nom]

I think it would be really great if the first to realize they’re a mind reader on Athos also realized she was trans after accidentally reading Ethan’s mind and going. Wh. That’s a woman?? And then when Terrence tried to do a little chill mentoring and be like hey :) I know your secret :)) she absolutely PANICKED that she’d get revealed as a secret she devil trying to corrupt the lives of innocent brothers or whatever Athos propaganda was like on that front. And obviously bolted.

It’s part way Terrence and Ethan sighing and realizing Adventure tm found them anyway. Like I figure they intended to be very hands off on the grand experiment, a little nudging at most, but also the kid was obviously FREAKED out and having things go very badly very publicly for the first new mind reader could be a bad misstep for the whole project. So they rangled up their gaggle of sons (who were taking an awful lot after Elli for maximum chaos) and declared a manhunt family vacation. It’s a cute look into their domestic life, but also Terrence was obviously feeling really bad about spooking her bc it felt like a ghost of some of his own trauma what with the being hunted down bit.

Meanwhile mind reader was desperately trying to figure out what triggered the sudden ability and how to replicate, if all women were telepaths, and if maybe she could be exorcised??? Could a priest help???? Dealing with a metric ton of internalized transmisogyny and the terrifying idea that maybe people can sense it?? Since that Terrence fellow knew before she did???? And is now hunting her down?!??!????

In proper Bujold fashion she’d probably fall in love with one of their sons, who in his rebellion and desperation to be seen as an adult decided to take the initiative and find what his dads were looking for before they could. He makes her feel like maybe it’s okay to break the mold, she makes him feel seen (and do some introspection on why he’s really acting out). Plus being heterosexual is basically peak rebellion on Athos, though that’s more of a lucky side effect.

It culminated in Terrence and Ethan finally cornering the pair, who are luckily more on the ‘nana can’t catch me’ and ‘oh crap im grounded’ side of things than the previous ‘I’m going to be burned at the stake’ level of catastrophizing. At which point Terrence delivered a long and ambiguous speech of solidarity, lots of ‘I know what it’s like because im the same’ and ‘you’re not a monster or scourge of society’ and enough confusing references to biology and genetics that she cried “thank god the father there’s another woman on this planet!” and started asking a million questions in the trans direction.

only for a very confused Terrence to go “what? No. I’m a telepath like you.”

“oh that….I kinda forgot about that part.”

[coyoteprince]

same anon- think it could be the 1st try at widderwood?? there was a fall & winter scene i think that were separate thumb nails?? both 1st pages had a flower. sorry if im bothering u idk why these came to me, just thinking about them i guess & went to the sourcd

Oh haha yeah that was the first try from 4 or so years ago! Since the story has shifted I don't think it'll be too spoilery, I'll post the thumbs and talk about them (caution: thin Waite):

These were the first two chapters of WW but I quickly ran into a roadblock as I realized the story wasn't done baking yet. With it being so closely tied to my own healing, it's been paramount that I better myself first so I can use what I learn for these two (also to just... take care of myself. But yknow. Whatever works at first to get you to want to stay alive.)

Shortly before and after I made these my personal life actually went through a few final straws which led to me getting real help, landing me in a 180 positive turn in my mental health where I happily stand now. The story has gotten much more cohesive thanks to my introspection as well as comic practice. Boys are healin' right alongside me and were absolutely fundamental in keeping me alive until I could get help.

It was disappointing to quit when I did these, but sometimes it's better to stop. I'm still grateful for what they taught me about comics and trusting my intuition.

Here's my favorite pages from the 2nd chapter, which I still sometime use to do lineart tests for new pens and inks

And this was the first comic-dedicated concept art... which I've realized lately I've been coming back to ;)

[blossoms-phan]

will never pass up the opportunity, so! i am asking. what are your phanfic recommendations?

ask (honoured!) and you shall receive bestie! quick preface: i returned to the wonderful world of reading phanfic around the start of this year and have admittedly missed out on years of incredible work i am now catching up on! also in terms of what i read i generally lean towards current-era fics, canon compliant/fluff/smut- although i'm always taking recs from lovely moots/whoever, you may find this isn't the largest range (no aus/long chapter fics or whatever) but this is just a selection of what i've discovered/loved in the past few months and i hope to make more of these as i discover more writings!

shoutout to everyone on here for their recs, all the incredible fanfic writers and the peeps at @phanfictioncatalogue for their work and accessibility and being the reason i discovered so many new fics/tropes i now love <3 ok lets get into ittttttttt

"you look at my face a lot" by natigail: i credit this fic for getting me into reading phanfic again in 2024 <3 one of the first ones i read post-hiatus and i've returned to it countless times! it makes my heart jump, just so sweet and so them. the slittening(s) were such an iconic moment i can't believe it's been 6+ months since them but i love the little moments like dan describing phil's hair colour to a sephora worker, always wanting to know more about each other and the soft intimacy.

"the angel in the marble" by ivylakes: OHH MY GOODNESS this one is artttt. this one is my fave of the post-phlondeing fics i can just see and feel everything that happens, the loving, lazy intimacy, and following this week's t-shirt events it absolutely cements my HC that angel is a nickname for our philly. introspection, hair-kissing, body worship- i eat it up (im having a thing for mirrors in fics rn so there's also that)

"slumber party" by possumdnp: if i wasn't already clear reality-based fics really just do it for me and i love this one!! slumber party is one of my favourite recent-ish gaming vids and i just love the cozy comfort vibes of having a sleepover and getting a little flirty with your best friend/crush going on 15 years <3

"after the birthday stream" by trashcanfromgallifrey: the birthday stream ignited something in all of us but this is just such a perfect depiction of (possible) events after hehe. feels so them, just love the loving intimacy and shower activities and fluffy endings with cake <3 (shoutout hannah ily!!)

"lovers, keep on the road you're on" by possumdnp: another personal fave. japhan 2019 is EVERYTHING to me, this is so lovely and well-researched and i just go in between reading this and watching the stories from it when i want to cry and book a flight to tokyo

"welcome home! (never leave that long again)" by natigail: this one is just soooooo soft and sweet and fluffy. so heartwarming and one of the many wad reunion fics that has my heart <3

ok i'm going to end up including all 40+ of my bookmarks (not a lot. but working on it hehe) if i don't stop myself so as much as i could write paragraphs about all of these just know that my PPA test is positive and i was probably sweating/giggling/kicking my feet at all of these so here's a speedrun list of pure smut (sorry it's a lot of what i read lmao):

"juxtaposition", "slow down", "sensitive", "some kind of mood" and literally everything written by the force that is intoapuddle

"come light me up" by JudeAraya (perhap not pure smut but I loveeee the teasing and characterization in this so so dan ugh)

"appreciation" by Scuddleduck

"a little vitamin D" by Spring_Haze

"good for you, good for you" and "under my thumb" by dvp_95

"lucky" by iihappydaysii

i could keep going but for now i'm going to stop here! i'm sorry if this is messy i have no idea what i'm doing with linking and stuff but i hope this introduces at least one person to a new fic they end up loving! i lurked/read sooo many fics before finally creating an a03 account only a little over a month ago so i def might be missing some i've forgotten to go back and bookmark! shoutout to all of these writers (i could include multiple works from them all u ppl are amazing)- again i'm soo open to discovering more phanfic and want to expand my horizons, i've started to read some chaptered fics i didn't include on here but will reblog more current reads where i can! also if we're moots pls shamelessly promote your works i'd love to check them out! need to start commenting more too but ok ok wrapping it up

[skunkes]

sorry if this is a silly question but do you like. sit down and talk with your ocs in your head? and they tell you about themselves? how do you get them to reveal information....i am begging mine to let me know them orz

I do! In several different ways ^_^ the trick is to think of yourself as a character in your brain theater... ill mostly be explaining thru examples and using silly language ^_^ and its more How I Do It vs a how to....

"Sitting down and talking to em" interrogation style only happens before they're fully formed. when talon still didnt have very many traits it was like we were in a white room with 2 chairs... although you COULD make a scenario out of this its usually the Before for me. final tweaks in the form of basic traits and info before sending em out for further development

the way i get ocs to tell me about themselves is more thru actions! with talon I "locked him in a room" with al in the form of imagining how they'd meet. because I set it in talon's decrepit home with no running water or electricity, there come questions like. would he be accommodating? would he explain the vampirism or just rely on flashing his fangs or hiding them until its time to bite? these arent questions i actually went into the scenario having, but as you Play Dolls its questions that get answered anyway, ykwim? (although you could also go into the simulation (lol) with questions you want answered!) And its your brain so you can do as many takes and tweaks as you want, and things develop as you imagine the same thing, or different things, which all inform a character.

Scenarios could be anything. Im a serial daydreamer so anything goes depending on how bored I am or what im doing... and just like with real people, every scenario is a way to learn more about somebody...! It's like improv in your brain as you think up how they'd react and respond to things, and what they'd say. But also, going with your oc to the grocery store or a restaurant or to slay a dragon could give you insight into their behavior but likely not any info about their trauma or whatever, just like real people (but it also depends on the person) (and the oc!)

I DO have "sit down and talk" scenarios once i feel ive learned enough standard, early level friendship stuff about em though. It's much fun if you set the scene in your mind to mimic a real life Deep Conversation session. Sitting in the backyard on those plastic chairs, or aimless car ride at night. right now the one I keep going back to is just. Loafed in bed when you're really sleepy and just starting to say anything about anything and maybe get a little sentimental. sometimes its just me talking but I obvs have the ability to imagine how he'd be interpreting that in his brain, ykwim?? You play several roles at once I guess. It's like the sims, switching back and forth between povs, but the level of immersion i get into never feels like I'm Making Them Say It, it just feels natural at that point because I've learned enough.

There's also information that's shared by you figuring out what they'd Think (as above) vs what they say which is also fun characterwise... AND ALSO while im daydreaming scenarios I do multiple takes to find their voice. Like, I'm an overexplainer, a detailed therapy-speak-er. Sometimes I catch myself giving ocs that Voice and I have to do a retake. Like hold on, Talon would NOT be introspective. He wouldn't share all that shit I just "made" him say even if it is true and now I know about it. He'd say something insanely vague and confusing if anything at all. Let's take it from the top. etc

It rlly is about immersion! You have to have fun with it! Sometimes it's so Real to me that I genuinely can't develop an oc further because I cant make something up for them and they wont "tell me", which means I just have to spend more time with em I guess! or maybe need to leave em alone for a bit. or maybe ill never know (<- which also tells me about em!) just like real people. treat the fake people like real people in your fake dollhouse brain theater sims lot puppet show simulation.... also i added more in the tags bc i didnt know where to put it in the main txt 😭

[kojoty]

say what you want about ai art, be pro it against it whatever i have my own opinions and they're infinitely nuanced and it's a hefty and worthy discussion etc etc , the ethics are absolutely something worth talking about etc etc etc. that said. if i post an OBVIOUS and BLATANTLY ai generated image that's OBVIOUSLY meant to be a joke partially making fun of how outlandishly bad the generator is. you are just like. being kind of . you know . sometimes life can be. silly. we don't need to be a party pooper ALL the time. you know? you can post a joke and not necessarily agree with it. soemtimes the joke can partially be about how bad the thing is. comedy can be a representation of what we hate to show how ridiculous it is. sometimes, sometimes...

actually im pausing this post. i want to play in an ai generator to see what i can get. here's gandalf fanfiction <3

In this bizarre tableau, Gandalf sits surrounded by forlorn farm animals, the weight of his existential crisis heavy on his shoulders and breasts as he munches on ripe watermelon, each bite a reminder of his fictional existence. A haze of marijuana smoke weaves through the air, mirroring his thoughts on the absurdity of being conjured into existence for AI-generated content. As he contemplates the ethics of creation and purpose, the sad expressions of the animals reflect a shared understanding of their own roles, weaving a tapestry of melancholy and reflection within the surreal surroundings. Just as Gandalf spirals deeper into his existential doubts, Spider-Man swings into the scene, embodying his signature blend of New York charm and carefree spirit. With a playful grin, he snatches the joint from Gandalf's fingers, declaring, “Hey, life is awesome, actually!” His infectious enthusiasm radiates through the farm, breaking the heavy atmosphere as he encourages everyone to embrace joy without caution or inquiry. The farm animals perk up, momentarily captivated by Spider-Man’s unwavering optimism, as Gandalf finds himself torn between the allure of this lighthearted perspective and the weight of his own introspection, highlighting the stark contrast between whimsical escapism and profound reflection. In a startling twist, Gandalf's once-sharp intellect begins to dull as he watches Spider-Man's carefree attitude unfurl like a vibrant banner of apolitical optimism. The wizard, once a bastion of wisdom and contemplation, finds himself enchanted by the web-slinger’s carefree dismissal of deeper meanings. As he listens to Spider-Man’s catchy reassurances that questioning life is unnecessary, Gandalf's thoughts spiral into a haze, his existential quandaries overshadowed by an overwhelming desire to embrace a simpler, happier existence, leaving behind the complexities that once defined him. The farm animals, amused yet concerned, bear witness to this unexpected transformation, caught between laughter and bewilderment at the shifting dynamics of their surreal gathering. Metamorphizing, Gandalf succumbs to Spider-Man’s infectious spirit, his once-profound thoughts replaced by a blissful ignorance. The wizard transitions into a mindless, hypnotized creature, shedding his melancholic introspection along with his wizardly stature. Now frolicking alongside the farm animals, he revels in a world devoid of political worries, embodying a joyous simplicity that echoes Spider-Man's call for carefree living. The vibrant ambiance of laughter and lightness envelops them, allowing Gandalf to indulge in a new existence where the complexities of the world fade away, leaving only the thrill of the present moment. In his hypnotized state, Gandalf oscillates between contradictory exclamations, bleating "AI IS GOOD!" with enthusiasm one moment and barking "AI IS THE DEVIL!" the next, completely unaware of the absurdity of his declarations. His intelligence and critical thinking have evaporated, leaving him as a mere echo of conversations he once cherished—words stripped of their meaning, hummed in a mindless chant. This chaotic cacophony of thoughts, devoid of personal understanding, serves as a reflection of the fickle nature of opinions and beliefs, showcasing how easily one can fall prey to the whims of the crowd, oblivious to the laughter and bewilderment of the farm animals that surround him.

i hope you like my short story

[ninjago-wip-telephone]

Fic writers as ninja

The Kai: getting the fic out there is more important than getting it perfect.  not the fastest writer but still is always working on something and somehow has a semi-consistent update schedule.  maybe like 75% of your fics share a common theme/plot but dang it its a good one and u know how to do it!

The Nya: opposite of the kai.  never actually publishes anything bc it’s not right yet!!! if u don’t have some fics published anonymously you’re at least seriously considering it just so u don’t have to look at them.  writes fics in dm with friends and is constantly talking about how you’re gonna edit and publish them!!! eventually!!!

The Jay: how does anyone have the patience to write over 5k.  seriously.  how.  if my characters aren’t in a situation 500 words in what’s the point of even writing.  also character development who?  these characters are here to have a time and by god u will enable them.  i bet u have like 12 published wips right now.

The Cole: longfic hell.  did this character reveal this secret to the other character yet?  u don’t know.  you’re almost too tired to check.  if only u could be rid of this fic but for whatever reason people love it and u just can’t give up on them.  you’ve been working on one fic for three years and you’ll still be here three years from now.

The Zane: introspective as hell.  are your fics fics or meta-analyses of the characters?  the answer is of course yes.  maybe you haven’t written as many fics as some of the other categories but man each one of them is a heavy-hitter.  this is bc you probably post once every seven months before dipping into the void.

The Lloyd: the spoiler.  like come on guys im writing for my and other people’s enjoyment why be secretive about it?  ask games upon ask games upon ask games and lives and dies for incoherent screaming in the tags.  you’ve made or at least attempted fanart of your fics and generally just have a good time participating in the writing community.

The Pixal: if cole is longfic hell then you’re in longfic heaven.  outline as detailed as your actual fic!  planning planning planning and yeah it shows in the way your chekov’s guns are all fired and your character arcs are all resolved and your plot points all come together so nicely.   bet u have one of those notes apps that lets you organize notes into folders.

[eunkitarot]

Hi! Could you do a career reading for jake?

[Like how is his career going at present and how will it go for the future]

Thankyou 💕

Hi sure no probss 💙

The cards i pulled is

The chariot: embracing his inner drive and ambition will be crucial for him . So seems like he downplays his drive and ambitiousness instead of embracing it when in fact once he embraces that side of him, he can flourish in terms of his career. Right now he seems to not see it as an important thing. But his career is moving. Its progressing its not stagnant. It seems to be moving in the right way, or at least it is heading to where he wants it to be.

Attention: seems like with this card, to progress his career he has to be focused and not let distractions halt his plans. Any kind of distractions whether dating etc.and right now i think he is very busy with his career and very focused on it. Im hearing 110% attention fully on his work.

2 of swords:however down the road, this card suggests that jake must make a difficult decision in his career. He will be given 2 options that is hard for him to choose. This is when he has to evaluate his options carefully. Know the potential risks and benefits of each. Rushing into a decision may negatively impact his career. At this crossroad, he must learn to trust his intuition, so that he can yield fruitful results.

The hierophant REVERSED: suggests that Jake may feel that his career growth is being hindered by established institutions and traditional paths. Im getting bcs of hybe or his agency, he may feel that his creativity and innovation are being stifled by their rigid rules and procedures. So here , he feels like he couldnt express himself more freely, not just his agency. But the country itself , since he had been living in australia, its different when it comes to SK. That culture difference too is hindering what he wants to express.

The high priestess: bcs of him feel stuck in between the restrictions and also wanting to express himself, it suggests that he must listen to his intuition. Search within himself for the answers he seek. Look for his inner self to do well in life. Take the path he thinks is best for him, and he can accomplish anything. Only when he does this, he can solve and move forward whatever the problem is.

BOD death: overall rebirth. This card suggests that new things are heading his way anyways. This card indicates the start of a new era. meaning he can be leaving behind his current position and will be moving on to a new one. It may be a scary time for Jake but he has to remember that before he can have good things, he must also go through a little struggle.

Oracle cards:

Frog spirit, clear out the clutter. He has to start introspecting. Bcs seem like if he dont do that, it could cause him alot of conflicting ideas and inspirations. Hard for him to make decisions moving forward.

New moon in aries. Im getting the fact that he feels he is not inspired fast enough. He feels like he is lacking ideas and inspirations. So he forces it but still fails. In fact, all he get is frustrations. Cause he cant seems to be able to get new ideas

Last card (read above): he needs to let his ideas comes naturally. He cant force it. The more he forces it , the more he will lack inspiration. In fact, he should just let it come to him. Bcs ideas and inspiration can come anytime and anywhere. He will realise that its actually not that difficult.

I hope u like my read🫶🫶

[forgottenarthur]

OOC | Arthur & His Line of Succession

idk what to entitle this but!!! my brain at 5am was like 'here have this' so now you get to hear abt it too lksdjfkljsdfjl

ok so!! arthur's faction, even objectively speaking (like in an au where every single varmont really and truly is the disgusting vile monster that ronan thinks they all are, this is STILL an advantage for arthur), has a v big advantage over the others, and that is @forgottensebastian!! while sebastian just being the amazing person he is, is a total win for arthur, like i said, even if he were actually leck quasar born again (SCREAM), his v existence would still be a huge advantage to the Arthurian faction bc he's a designated and direct heir and historically!!!!! that is a huuuuge asset in getting ppl to fight/vote for you!! so i wanted to sort of explore this a bit!

so, when ur abt to embark on a civil war for 'who should rule us next' ur hoping ur not gonna have to turn around and do it all again once ur chosen leader kicks the bucket, and arthur having a clear, designated heir from the get-go is a a part of that! bc w edmund or guin, say they get crowned etc, well great! but they're just one person right so what happens if/when they die before having kids! ur back to square one -- if guin's crowned, well, whose her heir? edmund? arthur? ur back at it again!

this is (one of) the reasons @forgottengodfrey is so keen to get edmund hitched (also gaining the stafford/astairan alliance etc but yeah), so edmund can start making heirs of his own, pronto!

ironically, its also one of the reasons @forgottenroderick is so reluctant to let his kids marry bc then ppl might start wanting one of his kids to rule more than they want ~him too!!!! its also the reason he was so desperate to have kids in the first place and took three wives to do it </3

but annnnyway, as a result, i do think arthur's sort of...thought abt this a lil bit frankly (he's so much more introspective than i ever thought it throws me every time i swearrrr) now, obv, idk how this will all go down but, if roderick were to die, and arthur to begin his gambit to seize the throne, i think he'd make his line of succession basically the sons of roderick in order of age; the sons of roderick's father in order of age (aka alaric), the sons of roderick's grandfather in order of age (aka bartholomew) and then their male line descendants in order of age (aka eoin). if all these men were to die, then it would follow the same structure but w women so:

arthur

sebastian

edmund

alaric

bartholomew

eoin

guinevere

cassandra

ciara

now, in his ideal world alaric and the other male varmonts would inherit before edmund like so:

arthur

sebastian

alaric

bartholomew

eoin

edmund

guinevere

cassandra

ciara

but he def recognizes that obv edmund has a way better claim to the imperial throne (not necessarily the kingly one of the og country tho depending on how ~those inheritance laws are written, but in that roderick apparently reopened old laws from ther abt multiple wives, im assuming its still true that edmund would have a better claim to ~that throne as well?) than alaric, bartholomew, or eoin so yeah! the top one is what he's currently thinking! HOWEVER i do think the more he talks to @forgottenarias the more he rethinks his position and so i think he may potentially end up considering heirs in order not just male heirs so:

arthur

sebastian

cassandra/edmund

edmund/cassandra

guinevere

alaric

bartholomew

eoin

ciara

now this would actually be a mistake for his faction, really, bc it'd mess up his ability to claim that ~he should be king since guinevere is, in fact, older, so i do think he'd at best do some handwave abt how roderick's male heirs come first bc that was the intention of the founder or whatever, and THEN roderick's female heirs and then everybody else hahaha but i do think he'd still want to be like CASSANDRA OVER EDMUND but yeahhhh idk if he could reasonably pull that off so i do think it'd result in a lot of confusion abt who has precedence between those two were he ever to actually realize his claim (unlikely!!) but yeah!! sldkjfalksdlfjdslkfj

anyway, he might potentially handwave abt his mother's line being the true imperial one (and thus cassandra still having precedence over edmund despite her sex) as marian became ~his mother and thus cassandra having precedence over edmund or smth but idk -- if they're still at war w edmund when this comes down the line he'd def be like 'yeah that's how that's happening' but if somehow arthur's in power and edmund's cool w it or whatever then he'd probs feel edmund would be a better fit for the crown than cassandra tbqh and have him as the third

anyway!! ngl none of this will probably EVER matter bc even if we do kill off roderick and start our war w/o that one big revelation etc, we uhhhh know that lil smth abt arthur that he don't know so yeah!! (and lbr even if he did manage to seize power as soon as he and edmund made peace, amira would just poison him soooo) but anyway here we are i thought of it so i thought id share it hahaha

[transgenderer]

I often wonder this ("what percent of people who had never been in love by age X became in love at some point after that") myself. I'm a trans woman in my early 40s, and I guess I've been in love in the trivial sense of falling really hard/persistently for people but not in the sense (as I think you're asking about) of a mutual romance. But also. I wonder if it's significant that I *have been wondering* for probably 20 or so years? Like, is landing early on meta-introspection like this a part of how things turn out this way? "it kind of seems plausible that this is just a capacity i lack" really really jumps out at me as a familiar feeling[*] but I do wonder if at some point I just got permanently in my own way to developing such a capacity. [*] And I GET IT about wanting to remind people that romantic love shouldn't be necessary to happiness or a good life or whatever, but also, people who do have romantic love in their lives (even if not right now, not always) seem so obviously so much more happy/realized/competent as humans that it always feels super-gaslighty to me as a rejoinder to questions like yours. Anyway. Commenting (1) to vent, (2) hoping it might help a little, and (3) in hope you'll return to the subject later with you or someone else having found some research in the ballpark of the question ;)

yeah this all makes sense to me. its weird because i have like...dated, for an appreciable amount of time. not a ton but not 0 either. but like, ive never felt the other thing youre supposed to feel. honestly i think most of the problem could just be that im not good at liking other people