#im so casual about the days union

[voidbatss]

im not hyperfixating on the days union im completely normal im not hyperfixating on the days union im completely normal im not hyperfixating on the days union im compeltely normal im not hyperfixating on the days union im completely normal im not hyperfixating on the days union im completely normal im not hyperfixating on the days union im completely normal im not hyperfixating on the days union im completely normal im not hyperfixating on the days union im completely normal im not hyperfixating on the days union im completely normal im not hyperfixating on the days union im completely normal im not hyperfixating on the days union im completely normal im not

[kai-anderson-whore]

Pretty please write something off of the song “ride it” by Jay Sean 😭😭😭

U can add any changes to it u need to, just pleasss😭

Sure I struggled a bit this thing one since I was cutting in-between studying I hope you like it

Ride it (smut) (kai Anderson x fem reader)

Summary: you met kai when your boyfriend broke up with you making kai a rebound.

Warnings: smut , reader riding kai, mentions of cheating.

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°

You had met kai a month and twenty days ago at a club you were there to forget you ex, playing these games with him on the rebound if you will, kai knew it was just that but he felt much more for you, the one for him you were.

...

You sat by the bar sipping your mojito your dress tight on your body hugging each curve perfectly, topping up your lip gloss often since the shine stained the glass containing your drink.

"Hey can I buy you a drink" a voice said beside you, giving him a slight bit of your attention you noticed he was good looking the kind of guy to help you get over your ex, "sure I'll have another mojito" you said with a toothy grin.

"A old fashioned and a mojito please" he said to the barman, giving the man a nod making our drinks, "I'm kai- kai Anderson" the blue haired man introduced, "y/n y/l/n" you smiled.

"You here alone?" He asked now sitting on the barstool beside you, "I wasn't I came here with my best friend but she went off with some dude" you shrugged as the bartender gave you and kai your drinks "That sucks" he chucked making you giggle.

After a few more drinks chatting with kai, Flirting with him and he was with you, eventually landing you in your home his lips on yours as you stumbled around.

....

He loved how fiesty you were, a bit of a diva, you loved to tease him telling him no when he was trying to reel you up then sending him that cheeky wink that drove im crazy as you walked away from him.

Kai sat on the sofa of the basement, his thumb grazing over your contact number contemplating on whether to call you are not, finally giving in placing the phone his ear waiting on you to answer.

"Hey kai" your voice spoke through the device making kai smile, "Hey y/n you busy?" He asked waiting on your answer, "why miss me already Anderson?" You teased with a light giggle.

"Maybe so are you?" He chuckled, "I'm not busy I'll be over in twenty minutes" you replied before handing up, fishing out a outfit and matching lingerie you always made sure to look your best for kai, there was something about him pulling you in you couldn't explain it but you liked it.

And as if it were clockwork you were outside kai's door within that twenty minutes, your knuckles knocking on the wood of the door, waiting for kai to answer.

The door pulled open revealing the man you had been seeing for the past nearly two months, it wasn't if so you were dating it was a casual hook up thing, but you were starting to have feelings for him.

"Hey" you smiled waving at him, "Hey come in" kai said moving aside allowing to enter the house, you shrugged your coat off along with your sneakers, allowing yourself to get comfortable.

"Do you want a drink or anything?" He asked you shook your head not wanting to bother him, he took a seat beside you in the basement 'his little mancave' he called it, "how was your day" he asked looking into your eyes.

"Yeah good just working away" you shrugged going on to tell him about your day, his eyes darting between your eyes and lips, till they linked with yours, his hand on the back of your neck holding you there close to him as his body pushed you down on the sofa.

Your hands went to remove his shirt, discarding it on the floor along with our own, "I want you to ride me" he instructed wasting no time you got up removing your bottoms so did kai leaving you both naked.

Straddling his thighs before sinking down on him, you both sighed in union, your hips rocked along his cock, the pleasure you were receiving making you throw your head back holding kai's chest, his eyes watching your tits bounce, his grip leaving crescent marks on your hips as he thrusted into you.

"Oh fuck kai" you moaned your legs shaking ready to give in, kai's hips snapping up harder and faster bringing you closer to that blissful ecstasy you've Been awaiting for.

Kai felt like you touched his soul whenever you were like this together he couldn't get enough of you, you always left him wanting and needing more.

"You gonna cum baby?" He asked all you could do was nod that coil in your stomach ready to snap, "use your words" he ordered.

"Please kai let me cum please" you begged unable to hold on, "let go princess" he grunted, now nearing his own release, "Oh my god kai" you almost screamed that wave hitting you like a tsunami.

Kai kept giving you hard, fast thrust chasing his own release, overstimulating you, hissing at the feeling, "Oh shit fuck" he moaned spilling his load into you.

Your body was exhausted, chest pressed against his, his hand stroking your back comforting you through the blissfulness you were in.

The next morning you were awakened by your phone ringing, checking to see who it was the number unknown to you, grabbing kai's shirt from last night answering the phone.

"Hello?"

"Y/n?" You heart dropped hearing that voice that broke you almost two months ago "what do you want" you asked in annoyance.

"I want to talk to you I miss you" your ex said "no no you don't other wise you wouldn't have FUCKING CHEATED" you shouted banging your fist againt the door, startling kai from his slumber, "it's over okay I can't take it anymore I moved on you should to" was the last thing you said hanging up and blocking the number.

Kai stood there trying to seem oblivious to what happened nonchalant, you walked up to him till he was against the door, "I know you heard but I can make you forget it all" you smirked and thats what you did.

[haissitall]

overall thoughts about the country girls i've been drawing sometimes

what is this?: country humanizations with focus on Russia, America and China. tagged "nothetalia", ie "not-hetalia". maybe i'll come up with a better name one day

the overall concept: it's focused on international politics, so the characters' behavior is more alligned with their country's behavior on the world stage rather than with national stereotypes. modern-day focused. the characters exist on another plane of reality, so they can do magic, turn into animals, change appearances and undergo mitosis (about this later)

the design philosophy: all of them are women, no exceptions. because of the political focus, their clothes tend towards "business casual" to reflect that. sometimes inspiration can be drawn from the looks of prominent female politicians of a country. most of the times it's taken out of my ass and based on vibes.

the mitosis thing: because the characters are on another plane of existance and have to reflect political reality, they are very... fluid. for example: if a country is divided by civil war, then it gets split into two characters with the same face, same memories and even a mental link akin to telepathy. if they grow apart further, the link can get weaker to the point where it's almost entirely broken, and the twins are very much separate entities. an example of such separation: Britain and America (America started off as Britain's "double" so they still share a face and some physical features. i think they still share a mental link of sorts.) the characters can sometimes refer to their relationships as familiar, but it's very arbituary. America and Britain switch between calling each other "sisters" or "cousins", and Russia would think about the Union as her (late) mother (although technically current Russia is her "double" with the same memories and arguably the same-ish "consciousness", whatever that means)

relationships which interest me the most:

Russia & China: they have these vibes of "we are adults. we know love doesn't exist. we know we can't get attached. Healthy Distance, ok. not like the last time. this time we're sooo careful." i explored a very optimistic outlook on this dynamic in this fic. being so different means both some inevitable mistrust and an actually smoother dynamic where there's, like, less to argue about. i think they're very complimentary in essence. when China speaks Chinese and Russia speaks Russian, they understand each other perfectly. but only when they're drunk.

Russia & America: you know it's a great dynamic when in the "you're not rocking with me!? im gonna kill myself" meme each of them can be both the one breaking up and the one threatening to kill herself. (although im of the opinion that it's America who's responding to the break up text, but that is debatable.) i explored their dynamic a little in this and this fics. i think they're on the stage of very personal and visceral hatred and you cannot have them in the same room like two territorial and agressive cats

Russia & Germany: Germany refused to have friday beers with Russia so for a while she walked back and forth outside of Germany's window like an impatient tiger in a cage. Germany was too scared to tell her to leave so she just quietly closed the blinds

USSR & East Germany: im a bit insane about them tbh. i once saw a picture from i think better call saul (i haven't watched it, full disclosure) where he and his love interest lie in bed together but they're both dressed in business attire? yeah like this is their dynamic. but they're in military uniforms.

honorable mentions i'd like to think about more in the future:

America & Britain: i feel like they have something very messed up and entertaining going on Russia & India: a lot of wholesome potential. Russia & Iran: united by love for the geranium flowers Russia & North Korea: Russia appearing out of nowhere like heyyyy so, still friends, right?)) and Korea is like uh-huh. "welcome home cheater" vibes. Russia & Turkey: they're friends. they hate each other. they know the other very well. the most toxic and duplicitous "friendship" in the world and that's why it can be so fun

[kedsandtubesocks]

No because you need ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT THERE IS!!!!

Im so happy my comment made you happy!!!!im usually nervous about leaving comments cause i feel like im bothering the author but I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU HOW AMAZING YOU ARE!!!!

And you TOTALLY WRITE GOJO SO WELL!!!

The way you described his annoyed ass,his sweet self and everything about it!

And wanna know something?

Im a HUGE GEEK about greek mythology!!!!like I've been into it since i was 12 or so (im 20 now)

And i never knew one cold combine the things i love so much!!!!!i never even THOUGHT gojo as Hades!!!!

(the part you said he was lonely made me SOB 😭)

Your idea was just brilliant!!!YOU are brilliant my dear!!!!

And im fangirling over YOU now!!!

And im happy it was so long 😭😭😭😭 by the end of it i was wishing it was even longer!!didnt want it to finish!

Thank you for writing such masterpiece for gojo 🥺 he totally deserved it

ANON PLS YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE DELIGHT!!! Thank you for more wonderful words I’m truly so?? 🥺

I was so bummed a few minutes ago and now this message was like sweet treat ice cream you get to brighten your spirits and you’ve definitely made my entire day more than you know 💕

Omg me too!! I was such a big mythology geek and still am we need to unionize soon LOL I even had a project in my last year of middle school where we had to do a full poster board presentation about a specific god/goddess and when I tell you anon I about cried having to just pick one?? I really did get so upset having to just pick one (im still such a nerd getting upset over that lmaooo)

I appreciate you and your kind words so much oh my goodness YOU are the brilliant one!!!!!

I blame Gojo himself for not letting my mind rest because I just thought of this fic idea casually and then he just WOULDNT SHUT UP!!!

But now I’m really grateful for his annoying ass because here I am getting to fangirl with you and share this sweet moment together!!! 🩵🫶🏼

And plus…I can say with absolute horror he still hasn’t left me because like…between us mythology nerd to mythology nerd-

There’s still so much I wanna write with him!? Like him with the Orpheus and Eurydice myth? Or the myth of those two guys who try to sneak in and steal Persephone and Hades punishes them?? Can you imagine our Hades Gojo??

Okay wow I’m rambling I’m so sorry but dear Anon you truly are such a gift and I thank you so much for dropping by to squeal and fangirl with me again, I appreciate you and am so grateful for your bright presence here!!!

I’m wishing you a magical rest of your day take care!!!!! 💖🦋✨

[clockworkrobotic]

I posted 796 times in 2022

155 posts created (19%)

641 posts reblogged (81%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@spindaonateaspoon

@clockworkrobotic

@paranoidgemsbok

@dingdongyouarewrong

@girlwiththegreenhat

I tagged 543 of my posts in 2022

Only 32% of my posts had no tags

#shadow - 84 posts

#shadow the hedgehog - 13 posts

#morbin time - 8 posts

#sonic the hedgehog - 8 posts

#breaking bad - 8 posts

#shirts - 7 posts

#sawposting - 6 posts

#ice hell - 6 posts

#thank you - 6 posts

#robot wife - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#like?? who the fuck are these people who enjoy having strangers casually make uncomfortable comments about abuse and mental health to them?

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Happy pride!!! Remember that crime is legal for all gay people for the next 30 days. Throw a brick at a cop

128 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

#4

In light of Recent Events, hey fellow Brits and especially student renters and people paying bills inclusive rent— I'm a tenants' rights activist based in England. We have a £400 tax rebate coming up starting in October (£66-67pm October to March). It's a direct offset of your energy bills. The .gov website specifically mentions you.

The wording is a bit vague on the site so I really need to stress that if you are paying bills inclusive rent you are still paying your bills. There is NO acceptable reason for your landlord to claim ANY percentage of that monthly rebate. Please look into your local tenants' union, see what they are doing, alert them to the situation.

The rebate money is YOURS. It should NOT go to someone affluent enough that they can afford an extra house, in most cases houses. We're about to watch the government spend millions of £s on some 96 year old woman's funeral while millions of us freeze and starve. That's fucking unacceptable. Claim your fucking money from your landlord and become a huge fucking problem if they don't hand it over immediately.

136 notes - Posted September 9, 2022

#3

I LOVE tom scott's youtube channel w all my heart like where else am I gonna find a british youtuber with an unapologetically northern accent who says shit like "I've travelled to this tiny hawaiian island with a population of 12 to look at a very special wall" and then his next video will be "im in melbourne talking to gerald, the man who invented shoes" followed by "I've come out to dover to stand in front of some cliffs and talk about fractals" and all the videos are posted like 4 days apart fucking how. How is he going to all of these places. Why does he sound like his mouth is full of cotton balls. I love him so much

375 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

#2

1,037 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

What was your favorite part of morbuis? Mine was when he got into the morbmobile and yelled HERE COMES THE MORB and an imagine dragons song played

my favourite part of morbius is when he gets backed into a corbner by the bad guy so he yells MORB MODE, ENGAGE and shifts his morbometers into overdrive and morbles on the bad guy so hard he disintegrates

1,712 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[midnightmisadventures]

...Hi union vlog

ughhhhhhh ive been avoiding this all day i really dont know why.

I had such! such such such a big Liam dream last night and all day ive treated it like chopped liver.

Um but it was like....holy shit. When it was going on and as soon as i woke up.

I can't even begin to tell you.....the context but ive been dreaming about waking up and going to school and missing the bus/and taking a new bus.

So the latest in the lore is that if i dont get out by like 7:15 - 7:18am im gonna miss it. And i keep *waking up* and seeing 7:22

So thats been happening over a couple dreams as well as....all the other stuff. Especially like the concert tonight in a field vibes.....camping under that back tree vibes.

Lmao GIBBERISH to someone who doesnt live in my mind.

Anyway, um, so i was with Jenna and we were going on the new bus in the morning. It picked us up in front of chip

and we go on the bus, its like 50% full. Like there was enough room for jenna and i to grab separate seats.

All of a sudden i remember kekeing and giggling it up in a squad of guys and liam was there??

He was so hot and beautiful and full of life. It was very warm summer day near the end of school year vibes. And it was so great, eventually he came to my seat.

And i could feel like....we hadnt talked about it. But suddenly it was communicated that we still love eachother ig? or that we both are still into eachother but obviously being the one rejected in this scenario i was taken aback by how aggressive he was being

Like it was happening so fast. Very much in a school crush cute way but regardless like....highschool me would be like omg blushing

So he went to my seat and was like started holding me, and moving hair out of my face type beat. And everyone else is laughing and joking so it was hard to focus, and i was happy that liam was being publicly affectionate so i didnt want anyone else to think that i didnt like it...or that it wasnt normal.

So i didnt have time to exactly be like.....uhh whats the change of heart to Liam. Like we hadnt talked at all and he was acting like it was fall 2021. Except actually acting like my boyfriend. And not like he wasnt aware that we werent on good terms he was just not addressing it lol

Which is fine we were on the school bus lmao?? paying homage to highschool me being so dramatic

It just caught me off guard. And i was scared to put on the spot.

In fact, when he came in my seat i kinda gave him a look like "okay?"and he just looked at me and pouted. SO hot. But it was almost like "forgive me?" and then he came closer

So now we're in the group convo but his arms are around me, im basically sitting on his lap, our backs basically against the window.

And we were laughing and he was looking at me, and our faces were so close and then he kissed me......AND THEN KEPT KISSING ME

And i was losing my mind i was soooo caught of guard. Cause now we were just casually making out....in front of everyone....and the only difference between me typing and me in the dream is a quick pouty face.

So whatever, we stopped, but now im just on top of him, being cuddly. And i start talking with him more straight up cause....like this man just kissed me out of nowhere i thought we were playing it up for the crowd

And then we got off the bus, and he immediately held my hand and started walking and as soon as we got a little bit of distance from everyone i was very laughy and jokingly like "okay wtff, whats up with you? what happened. Last i checked you hated me" and he was like being cheeky, "what do you mean, i dont know what your talking about" being sarcastic like he doesn't know.

All while pulling my arm, wearing sunglasses and looking up like we're a couple going on a stroll

So im like "im literally blocked?? on everything?? like liam!"

So he said something along the lines of? "oh okay, well thats easy. I;ll just unblock you" and then he said let's go out tomorrow, like lets meetup and go for lunch or dinner and you'll be unblocked.

and "oh okay, i'll just unblock you and then i'll message you about getting dinner"

Basically joking saying let me take you on a date and i'll unblock you

and i was just like i cant believe this is happening. So we go our separate ways. And im alone for the first time and im like...i dont even know what to do first. Do i freak out about Liam finally kissing me? or that im seeing him again tomorrow? Do i check if im still blocked

I was coming to tumblr like.....speechless on what to type here. Guys like...just made out with liam.

But i was like NO this needs a REAL doc. Hi FUCKING union vlog mutherfuckass

Um....i dont remember much else. I was freaking out, because

he finally did it.

[alwastakenofc]

hmmmmm so ! lesser-than-before rant incoming :)

i’ve been playing this game on my phone for the last 3ish weeks bc i’m tryna get $80 from getting to “grand sultan” level thru this app that gives me games to download and rewards me for playing them/hitting checkpoints and stuff idk it’s rly cool but that’s besides the point ! so i figured i would Bounce after the month is up bc like it’s just a gimmicky pay-to-win kind of game where if u don’t keep up daily u fall behind, BUT there’s also a Huge player base for the game (which makes it fun but also gives it that rly insanely competitive edge that makes it hard to miss days without feeling like ur behind). so one of the things i had to do was join a union/guild where i am partnered up with ppl like the guild leader and co-leader and elites and others members ya know? and we can do quests and stuff and it just gives u a good boost to everything which obviously helps u level faster ! so i was like “hmmmm maybe ill make one…” but then i noticed ppl talking in the all chat saying how they’re not new, this is their 3rd, 4th, 5th+ server that they’re hopping on bc they wanna start over again, etc etc so i was like “…. nah im not making my own union LOL” so i ended up joining this one that had free slots and rly didn’t like the guy leading it bc he was kinda rude… so i left, changed my name/avatar, and DM’d the leader of this guild i had my eye on in the first place but was full at the time! they now had 1 space free and i had to wait 24 hours to join bc i just left my last guild… so she said she’d save the spot and BAM, i got in! we talked in DMs abt how i left my last guild bc No One except the leader talked and when he did it was to Demand things from us like “Everyone better donate 200 diamonds or else.” and stuff!! lmao

SO. fast forward to now. it’s been about 3 weeks in the guild and MANNNNNN IVE MADE A FEW FRIENDS, THEYRE ALL SO NICEEEEE 🥺 me and a couple other guild members were up til Midnight last night just talking abt life and where we wanna travel and our jobs and education and Everything !! it was so wholesome and nice and so just idk. pure and innocent and Fun to just have casual conversations with ppl that were complete strangers 2 weeks ago, but who ive gotten closer to and now can have those nice long convos with !! and it was all just in the guild chat so anyone could read the next day lol but idc ! it was fun! plus my name on the game is selene which is Not my real name lol i just like the name a lot and it always makes me giggle when they say “lol, i know right selene??” and stuff and im like heh.. yea, das me 😎 idk the guild leader gave me the “life of the party” tag and said she loves my energy and it just feels so good bc i know i am just so cripplingly socially anxious irl and that’s why i can talk so easily online and love talking online so much more. like im still ME, but… not Fully being perceived to a point where i feel uncomfy or anything LOL . it’s been nice

i think imma keep playing after the month is up, i rly enjoy my guild and the ppl ive met thru it :’)

ANYWAYS!! i also think im gonna go to therapy/go to my family doctor to get reccs on therapists and maybe a psychiatrist? psychologist? idk i wanna get evaluated for… well let’s just save that for when i get evaluated bc if i don’t even have anything wrong with me and my dumbass rly gets laughed out of the office by the doctor saying “LUL no u rly just gotta try harder bruh” imma feel like a damn Fool LMAO. BUT yeah. that’ll hopefully be a thing i book this month.

also gonna be responsible and Not over spend on food when i get paid, like delivery and whatnot… but i Will be buying lifetime subscriptions to a couple japanese apps on my phone that i think will be easy access and help me learn japanese to a point of comfortability before i start college again. 😎

OKAY IM DONE WHEW. rant over :)

[chaotic-jjk-fiction]

Congrats 💐 on 900 followers. Can I request Alpha 9 Gojo x F!Reader. Thank you for all your effort on yandere Gojo. I love your writing 💖

for the omegaverse prompts, may i request prompts number 9 with gojo?

omg i meant prompt number 9 from alpha with gojo ghvcdfh im so sorry !!!

This was a popular request. I don’t blame the Gojo stans, it’s totally something he would say haha. 

# 9:  “Don’t threaten me if you can’t follow through. You are so much weaker than me. You love it though, don’t you? Omega.”

TW: Kinda arrange marriage, kinda yandere, omegaverse  

Your relationship with Gojo was… complicated. You were not with him by choice, in fact, he had just about kidnaped you. He had coerced your family into a union between you two by reminding them just how much of a status booster it would be. The had gladly agreed to the marriage and you had promptly been stolen away from your life to go live with this alpha. Just because your parents had allowed this to happen did not mean that you were going to be compliant. You resisted all of Gojo’s touches. You hated the way he scented you, as if he owned you. Everything made you feel sick. Gojo’s crushing power never stopped you from making threats of your own. 

“If you try to scent me again, I’ll bite your fucking hand.” You growled trying to make yourself sound as threatening as possible. It was hard to feel intimidating with how tall Gojo was, not to mention how strong his scent was. It really didn’t help the he was smirking as he casually pinned you against the kitchen counter.   

“Don’t threaten me if you can’t follow through. You are so much weaker than me. You love it though, don’t you? Omega.” His voice was cocky was he casually brought one hand up to trace your chin. You wanted to bite him, you really did, but the look in his eyes and the way he was touching you made it impossible. He knew that in the end he was an alpha and you were an omega, he would always hold that power and dominance over you. No matter how hard you tried to fight it, he knew that one day you would have to accept him as your alpha, and superior. Until then he was willing to indulge your little threats.

[hartrathaway]

Hii I'm interested in Hartley's story but I know literally nothing about him except that he was Wally's gay bestie in the 90s, what's his deal? Do you have any comic recs for him?

HI IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!!!!!!!

Okay, so really brief, his dealio is: born to ‘incredibly rich’ parents (we never get a specified ballpark, but Hartley states that he was ‘born with two silver spoons in [his] mouth’ if that helps context wise), Hartley’s deaf!  His parents had him get cochlear implants when he was a child, which ‘medically healed him’.  (His deafness has been treated extremely ablest by writers who actually remember he’s deaf, I need to warn you of this now.)  He’s a music and sound waves guy, a former villain (it’s an on again off again relationship, but a lot of his character is defined by his time as a hero) and he’s very leftist.  Gay best friend in the AIDS crisis turned Wally West from a midwestern conservative to a leftie as well.  (Wally’s wife, Linda Park, was a major contributing factor, but we’re focusing on Hartley for this, so I’m gonna talk about him.)

I’ve got a mix of good reading from all over, so I’m gonna break this into sections, and do my best to describe which is which.  (all my screencaps are from this website right here, because i do not own all the back issues and it would have taken much, much longer to do this post, and as such, some of them are not sized or formatted correctly)  Click the read more if you’re interested!  Please note: I am not a 100% authority figure on Hartley, and I know there’s a few stories I have left out (the story with Bart Allen’s first appearance is a good one that Hartley is in), but these are the gist of who is he, what he’s been up to, and what is the family drama.

So for New Earth (otherwise known as post-Crisis on Infinite Earths), is where Hartley actually becomes Wally’s friend, and is a hero!  I’m going to focus on this section first.  Unfortunately, due to being a minor character, a lot of stuff is broken into small stories, or things that are happening behind the scenes, so there’s no real issue x - y that’s gonna help much.

The Flash Vol 2 #31, #32 Quick summary: In issue 31, supervillain here is killing homeless people, Hartley has been helping these same people get up on their feet by helping them get squatter’s rights.  They skip the fighting because a kid asks if they’re going to fight for a half hour and then team up, and go right to the team up.  They get Linda Park in, supervillain ends up backfiring his powers.  In issue 32, Wally, Hartley, and their pal Mason officially move to Keystone city.  Hartley’s folks are in trouble while the three of them are trying to freeload (off of Hartley’s parents, his and his parents’ relationship is better now than it had been, for a multitude of reasons), Wally and Hartley rescue Hartley’s parents, we also meet Jerrie, Hartley’s sister, and all is resolved there.  Yay, the family loves each other again!

(issue 31)

(issue 32)

The Flash Vol 2 #53 Special mention this is the issue where Hartley comes out and also has to inform Wally that Wally cannot tell who is a homosexual.  Also Wally’s an IRS agent here, for shame Wallace.  At least Hartley gets to cosplay Wally at the end, so that’s fun.  Content warning for this issue specifically is some casual homophobia, just so you know that going in.

(issue 53)

The Flash Vol 2 #170 In 170, Hartley’s being contacted by his father to call in ‘a favor’ that Hartley owes him.  The main plot line includes (one of) Wally’s ex(es) showing up, a former hero and teammate, Frances Kane, otherwise known as Magneta.  A person has been found murdered at Keystone Motors, and supervillain Goldface begins rallying union workers (which seems to just be a poorly timed coincidence).  The story itself (170 - 173) in and of itself is really fun, but I’m only going to talk about Hartley, or else I’ll be here all day.

(issue 170)

The Flash Vol 2 #174, #175, #178, #179 And here we get some drama! I’m grouping all of these together, since it’s all the same chunk of the story for Hartley, but since it’s the Flash, Wally’s center stage.  In 174, the people who were living with the Rathaway family aren’t exactly big fans of Hartley.  They know he’s changed his ways, he’s a hero now, but it’s just…  something feels off.  There’s loud music sounds, and bam!  Suddenly Hartley’s there and oh boy is this gonna be a hot mess.  In issue 175, we see some footage, and Hartley’s the lead suspect in his parents’ murder, considering that the footage has Hartley onscreen.  178 rolls up, and after Wally’s getting Gorilla Grodd taken care of (and that fight is a doozy), Wally gets to find out Hartley’s been arrested for the murder of his own parents, and Hartley confesses on-screen to his parents’ murder  (Also Hartley’s got a beard now, that’s how you know he’s depressed.) 179 opens with Hartley being processed.  Linda and Wally go to see him, and although Hartley confessed, he said “I think I did.”  (emphasis is mine; in the panel Hartley says “I think I did.”) Joker?  He’s got some Joker-fied people, and poor Hartley gets it too :(  Hartley straight up nearly kills Captain Boomerang (it’s okay, Wally stops him), and surprise!  Welcome back to Iron Heights Hartley.  Gonna have a fun time :)

(issue 174; this is the least messy part of the panel, but it was intended to be that way)

(issue 175)

(issue 178)

(issue 179)

The Flash: Iron Heights Brief interlude from the main comic line, we’ve got a one-shot that’s taking place in Iron Heights.  This takes place before Hartley gets arrested, presumably (since, y’know, they’re breaking in and all).  Fun one-shot honestly, keeps me on my toes the whole time.  Hartley’s a main character, and it’s less personal drama and very story driven.  You don’t need this to enjoy Hartley regardless, but I enjoy it!

(The Flash: Iron Heights, which you can read here.)

The Flash Volume 2 #189, #190 189! Now we find out how Hartley’s parents were actually murdered!  No spoilers, but we do get a prison breakout.  This is where we get some origin story! Don’t read this first though, because you’re going to be spoiling yourself the plot of his arrest.  In 190 we get more origin, including the way DC treated his deafness. (It’s ablest, and I’m still mentally grappling how you wouldn’t notice your child being deaf for two years, but okay Rachel and Osgood, you keep being bad.)  The story goes on for now, with Hartley on the run from… well, everyone.

(issue 189)

(issue 190)

This is pretty much it for New Earth Hartley up until Countdown.

I don’t like Countdown at all.  I’m much happier pretending that Countdown doesn’t exist (both because of how it treats Hartley for a multitude of reasons, and how Thad Thawne is treated leading up to Countdown).  More happens with Hartley’s storyline in Countdown, but I hate it with such a passion that I wouldn’t recommend it at all.  Countdown leads into Final Crisis, and I’m not a fan of either.  However, should you wish to read and make your own opinions, here’s Countdown and here’s Final Crisis.  Please note, Countdown’s issues are done in reverse order (so from issue 51 to 1, rather than 1 to 51)

And now I’m going to tell you the gospel truth:

I do like New 52 Hartley!  A lot. Unfortunately, he’s not as much in the n52 Flash run as I would like (but I’m biased, as obvious by my url).  What you need to know is that Hartley’s a musician now, like orchestra director, and he’s in a relationship with Barry’s boss, David Singh. (power move, honestly)  Unfortunately, we don’t get a whole lot in the main line.  Also at this point, the Wally West of New Earth hasn’t transitioned to the n52.  Wallace West of n52 is an entirely different character, and that’s a whole other issue for another discussion.  Wally West as we know him from New Earth doesn’t come back for a while.  Wally and Hartley haven’t talked since before Flashpoint, and that’s a shame. 

So read the Crimes of Passion Anthology he’s got please I’m begging you.  The only downside is that the artist gave him a haircut.

(Crimes of Passion: Secret Admirer)

I haven’t read anything DCeased related, and while I know Hartley gets his time to shine and kiss David, I can’t tell you much beyond that.  I’m pretty sure there’s other people who can tell you more, but it’s not me I’m afraid.  (This is me saying guys, please tell me about Hartley in DCeased, someone tell me about my fictional lavender marriage husband.)

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

okay so-

i’ve noticed i haven’t posted a lot of headcanons about studio au did i? i wrote them out on a notebook to not forget about them in class, so i have a lot to tell you guys!

tagging the fellow headcanoners @kotikaleo​ @help-im-a-gay-fish​ @jann-the-bean​

first of, i heard a lot about ccino’s relationship with his lovers, but what’s his opinion about dream?

well, when dream and ccino first met, ccino was pretty silent and distant, but not in a rude way, so dream kind of guessed that he was shy-

when time went by, ccino started to open up, and talked to dream about a lot of stuff- mostly about nightmare. ccino often muttering that he’s amazing, that he’s talented, and that he’s veeery hot

dream was still his friend, and even when ccino heard that nightmare had a boyfriend, he still didn’t shut up about him- that’s why he was happy to hear that ccino actually turned out to be nightmare’s boyfriend in the end

dream and he get along real well, and ccino is very happy about dream getting engaged on set too!

about weddings, i like how this is the first thing that popped into my head in math class

after months passed by, it was obvious that they wanted to be more to each other, but none wanted to really admit it, letting it be a surprise; but ccino was a bit less careful with words

killer: don’t you mind us staying at your house again?

ccino had invited them to watch a movie on his laptop yesterday, so killer and nightmare obviously agreed to do so-

ccino: what? no- i like having you guys around...with me-

nightmare: *hopping on the bed* aww really? 

ccino: *chuckling* of course silly! i want us to be together forever!

killer: forever? you mean you finally came to terms that you are actually our boyfriend-

ccino was still acting like a little teenager who had a huge crush over them, and was just so ashamed to even admit that he does in fact like them a lot

ccino: *whispering* .....i wish it was.....more than-

nightmare: are you two coming yet? i feel alone watching the movie all by myself!

killer: as expected from an actor, you sure are a drama queen-

nightmare: shut up and get your butt here!...and bring the popcorn with you

one day they just were casually taking their coffee when killer stood up and pulled a little box out of his pocket, and winked at nightmare- night on the other hand, just jumped out of his seat flustered, with an angry look on his face-

nightmare: NO- you are NOT the one proposing first! not when i bought those rings with my savings-

killer: you are one to talk- these were also expensive! plus

he got closer, then whispered

killer: isn’t it supposed to be my reward for-

a kick in the stomach was enough to shut him up

nightmare: *whispering* keep your mouth SHUT about that! it should be a surprise-

ccino was just staring at the boxes they were holding- what was going on? his mind couldn’t process it, so he just stood there dumfounded

nightmare looked away and let killer talk. the other grinned, and took nightmare’s hand into his and pulled one of the rings out;

killer: you look so grumpy for someone who’s being proposed to-

nightmare: you didn’t even say the sentence!

killer:..will you marry us?

nightmare glanced at ccino, then stopped when he saw the other was crying silently in front of them-

nightmare took both killer and ccino into his arms and said : i will

he took the ring out of his own box, then gave it to killer, who happily put it on-

they both looked at ccino who still didn’t say a thing- he was beyond just dumfounded at this point-

nightmare and killer both got closer to him and asked- 

“do you want to marry us ccino?”

ccino just stared into space and almost fainted- the only thing that held him back was the cat right behind him who would be nearly crushed if he were to-

ccino:......yes- yes yes yes yeS yES YES YES-

he cried his eyes out, and nightmare and killer couldn’t help but laugh and cry in union as well-

killer: oh god- s-so umm, now you have to choose which ring will you wear-

nightmare: there will be a spare left- it will most likely we sold again, we don’t want to waste money now do we-

they both pulled out the two rings left and asked: 

“so, which one do you choose”

ccino stood there for a couple of seconds- chose? how could he choose! both rings were amazing, and most importantly, it was bought for HIM

he paused, then began laughing softly

both killer and nightmare didn’t know why he started laughing just now, ‘did we break him again?’ was the first thought that ran through their minds, but it quickly appeared that it was for another reason completely

ccino pulled a ring from his pocket and muttered

“now i look like the silly one do i?”

killer and nightmare were both chocked to see yet another ring come out of the blue, but ccino just looked down;

ccino: i just saved up all summer- i barely had enough to buy one ring, but i’m glad i didn’t buy two in the end-

killer and nightmare clenched their fists; ccino was very short on money; having to pay for college, for his cats, his flat and himself must be too much for him-

they both ended up embracing him tightly, whispering some apologies while they were at it, and ccino just hugged them back

in the end, ccino wore nightmare’s ring, killer wore ccino’s, and nightmare took killer’s

they managed to convince ccino to move into their apartment, and then sold the two remaining rings to give the money to ccino despite his protests to split it between them

“come on!” “you clearly deserve it!” were the last thing ccino heard before he fainted, obviously overwhelmed with joy-

there is still two other headcanons left, but man this day is tiring! i wanted to make an illustration for this one SO BAD, but i’m too tired today- maybe tomorrow?

studioAU belongs to @zu-is-here

i hope you guys like it <3

[wishingforatypewriter]

yo im going to be in manhattan this friday and i was just wondering if you could give me some recs for food? and also bakeries and cafes lol wait this is really bad timing erm sorry here 📓

Hey! I can definitely give you some recommendations! I'm not sure if you're going to be primarily uptown or downtown, so I'm just gonna compile two lists below (with links, wherever possible).

Downtown (below 59th Street)

Brunch*

-Carroll Place (Italian wine bar and gastropub near West 4th Street w/ bottomless mimosas or sangria. I personally swear by the Eggs in Purgatory)

-Agave (Mexican style bottomless brunch spot. There are two locations, one in Greenwich Village and one in Kips Bay. The food is decent, but the drinks are excellent. I'm usually a staunch mimosa person at brunch, but definitely get the margaritas here)

Lunch/Dinner

-99 Favor Taste (Delicious, affordable all you can eat hotpot and table barbecue. This is the first place my friends and I wanted to go once indoor dining was allowed again. There are multiple locations downtown)

-Misoya (The best ramen shop in NYC, imho. Every item on the menu is so good, it brings tears to my eyes just to think about it lol)

-Laut (Amazing Malaysian, Singaporean, and Thai food near Union Square! I've only been there twice, but I can swear by the Asam Laksa and the Hainanese Roast Chicken Rice)

-Paesano's of Mulberry (My favorite restaurant on the Mulberry Street strip in Little Italy, which is admittedly kind of basic in principle, but still really good. Solid, affordable place that my friends and I have been going to since high school)

-Claw Daddy's (Delicious Louisiana seafood boil—spicy, flavorful, yum. They also have great drinks of the "adult capri sun" variety)

-Soogil (Korean-French fusion with an amazing tasting menu! It's a little pricey, but if you have room to splurge, I would highly recommend giving this place a try)

Sweets

-Fay Da Bakery (Chinese bakery with lots of different cakes and buns to try! There are two locations in Manhattan, and a bunch more in Queens)

-Max Brenner (This place serves pretty good lunch and dinner, but the reason to come here is the chocolate fondue and chocolate cocktails -- their dark chocolate martini sends me)

-Otafuku x Medetai (This one is a Japanese street food restaurant, but I'm grouping it with sweets because the taiyaki here is everything)

Uptown (above 59th Street)

Brunch

-Calle Ocho (Latin American cuisine with a robust sangria menu for bottomless brunch. Tread carefully with the sangria, though, b/c it's sweet and doesn't really taste like alcohol and the next thing you know, you'll be sending salacious text messages to your ex. Trust me, I know.)

-Moonrise Izakaya (Japanese gastropub on the Upper West Side. This place is a good vibe at any time of day, but the weekend brunch is so good it makes me emotional lol)

Lunch/Dinner

-Carmine's (Family style Italian food. I would recommend going with a party of three or more because the portions here are notoriously massive. Like garlic bread served on a pizza pan massive.)

-Red Rooster (Chef Marcus Samuelson adds his personal flair to soul food/American comfort food. The yardbird is easily the best piece of fried chicken I've had to date. The Uptown Guac is also everything.)

-Cafe du Soleil (Casual, affordable French restaurant. Great food, nice wines. I swear by the Hachis Parmentier, and will never say no to the creme brulee)

-Jacob's Pickles (Southern American comfort food. Easily serves the best cheese grits I've experienced in life thus far. The house made biscuits are also really delicious)

-Haru Sushi (Japanese restaurant with a few different locations around the city, although I think the UWS branch is the best.)

-Pappardella (Another Italian restaurant with really good food. Everything I've tried on the menu hits)

Sweets

-The Hungarian Pastry Shop (Cafe and bakery by Columbia with amazing coffee and baked goods. The plain croissants are always fluffy and delicious, and the cheese danishes are everything. The cappuccinos with sugar and cinnamon are some of my favorite in the city. There's no website for this one, so I'm linking the Yelp page)

-Silver Moon Bakery (A little french bakery on the Upper West Side that brings me SO MUCH joy. The herbed brie sticks, palmiers, apple tarts, and chocolate bomb cakes are my personal favorites)

-Levain Bakery (I can't believe I forgot this at first! Chocolate chip walnut cookies are great and they only cost $4)

*Imo, there are much better brunch spots in Brooklyn, but if you don't have time so schlep out there, these places are still great.

[blindedguilt]

🕯

//you know what? im changing up the drabble formula a bit, caim's about to learn some shit assuming the faerie hasn't already tattled him more than he needed to know 🕯 For your muse to talk about someone from their past. "Why did you become an ally of the Union?" It was a question Leonard had expected to be asked, at least given he was allies with anyone else, but the fact that Caim bothered to care enough to ask him that question had surprised him. Perhaps it was a question born out of spite, born from the confusion that came with his wish to die despite... Well, being a coward, regretful as it was for him, but Leonard decided he'd share the story with the other regardless. Not particularly out of any obligation or desire to, but rather.... If he didn't, he was certain his pact-beast would. And the faerie, he knew wouldn't hesitate to leave a detail out in it's own maliciousness. So... Despite how difficult it became to speak with his throat tight and his head turned downwards in shame- Or perhaps to hide any tears that did follow through in their threats to arrive at the mention of that day, Leonard continued with a statement particularly calm and clear compared to the rest that would follow. "I had become your ally for not just the sake of myself, but... For the sake of my brothers, as well." “I had left them when they were so small, I...” A faint tremble in his voice. But he had only barely started... “When they had asked for my shelter, I knew that I had to take them in. It was the least I could have done in repentance for my absence from their lives. If I had not, then... They.... They would not have been able to survive on their own.” Was it a dead end for them either way? No... No, he could have stopped it. He made it hopeless for them. “My first brother, Lukhege, he... He had tried for them so dearly, though he was only capable of so much. And Riversal had always brought light to the situation they were in, I am sure that without him we could not have possibly made it as far as we did.” There was a tinge of comfort in those words that hadn’t been completely crushed by the bitterness. Leonard would have looked on those memories fondly if they had just been able to go back and live. Where was Lukhege’s proud grin at his newest hunt now? Where were Riversal’s light-hearted pranks? “Laum, the youngest, he.... He did not see me as his brother. ....How could he?” Leonard’s voice finally broke, his jaw clenched as the memories flowed back. Their confused begging not to leave, the smiles seeing him the first time after all those years, the casual wave goodbye the day he left them for dead. “I had left them before they could even completely remember me, their own flesh and blood...! They were so unaware of it all, they were only children... It is clear now; to call me their brother from the kindness in their own hearts when I.... Had gone so foolishly....”

“Th... That day that they had....!”

[holytolkien]

Original Elvish courtship/relationship facts & other things from Tolkien that I found interesting 

Trigger Warning: mention of rape. Sex is also talked about.

Authors note: All these facts were actually written by Tolkien’s son and he wrote a book of his fathers unpublished manuscripts. The book is called “Morgoth’s Ring” It’s worth a read. J.R.R. Tolkien even wrote an essay about Elves courtship! Also, these are about the lives of common elves... The main Elves we read about aren’t necessarily commoners. (They are main mentioned characters for a reason lmao) 

• Elves hold a whole public feast to announce that they are dating

• They give eachother silver rings in front of everyone to promise marriage

If they choose not to marry (which is actually kinda rare), they hold a ceremony with vows and everything & they will melt their silver promise rings so no one will ever wear them again. Dramatic.... I know...

• Gold rings are given at the actual ceremony of the marriage and they are placed on the right index finger

• Elves have the parents of the opposite sex give the newly weds a jewel on a chain to bless the marriage. (For example, the mother of the bride gives the groom the necklace, and the father of the groom gives the bride the necklace...)

• Sex is marriage

Yes, to Elves, the act of sexual intercourse is the actual marriage. You know for us how the marriage is solidified by “you may kiss”? Yeah, for Elves it’s actually the sexual intercourse part (which of course, isn’t part of the public ceremony lmao)

Here’s one of his quotes about marriage and sex, “Marriage is chiefly of the body, for it is achieved by bodily union, and its first operation is the begetting of the bodies of children, even though it endures beyond this and has other operations. And the union of bodies in marriage is unique, and no other union resembles it....It was the act of bodily union that achieved marriage...it was at all times lawful for any of the Eldar, both being unwed, to marry thus of free consent one to the other without ceremony or witness…in flight and exile and wandering, such marriages were often made” (Tolkien)

So basically, casual sex (as in sex with random Elves) is nonexistent

This does NOT mean Elves don’t have sex. They are actually sexually active, but they take sex a little bit more seriously. But they really only have sex with people they are in courtship with I guess.

This maybe why Elves don’t celebrate the day they were born, they actually celebrate the day they were conceived.

• Arranged marriages are not really a thing. Parents actually have very little say on who their children marry. Yes, parents can criticize, and choose not to give a blessing, but it doesn’t go together with the whole soulmate seriousness thing. No arranged marriage has ever been recorded.

So like...... Legolas could’ve had his way with Tauriel (but Tauriel wasn’t in the books to be fair) But y’all know Thranduil....

• Of course, the parents of the newlyweds can give duties or certain demands to their kids spouse and the spouse doesn’t have to listen, but is is considered super disrespectful not to.

• TW: it’s against Elven nature to rape.

I was informed a few days ago that people wrote fics about Thranduil being a rapist.... but, If you go down that road in mentioning this in your story, please read:

“Among all these evils there is no record of any among the Elves that took another's spouse by force; for this was wholly against their nature, and one so forced would have rejected bodily life and passed to Mandos. Guile or trickery in this matter was scarcely possible…for the Eldar can read at once in the eyes and voice of another whether they be wed or unwed” (Tolkien)

What does this mean? Well, it means that there is no record of an elf taking someone by force and if it ever happens, the victim of rape will literally die. (This only applies, of course, if you are an elf)

• Divorces are also extremely rare and kinda taboo.

Not even death can do elves apart.

For me, This makes more sense as to why Thranduil was so determined to get the jewels back. Yes, of course he wanted them back because they are literally his wife’s that died, but according to Tolkien, they are practically still together. The way I look at it is that, Elves don’t look at themselves as widows or widowers. 

• Elves also don’t commit adultery

Good job Eleven people! I have no choice but to stan even more!

• Elves lose their desire for sex after kids

Again, kind of sucks (for those who care) but honestly I feel

• Even with the whole “I will be with you forever and beyond that” Elves get married pretty young! (God, how much I wish I was actually an elf) 

•Elf pregnancies last a whole year!

I mean just a couple months over our 9 months but even 9 months is pushing it i’m so sorry elven women.

• Elves don’t say “I had a baby!” They say instead, “A baby was given to us!!”

May or may not say that when I have a child.... who knows.

• There are actually Quenyan words for sex & genitalia.... you can probably look them up and find them 

• Incest is extremely gross and taboo

I mean... this isn’t really “interesting” because it’s taboo kinda everywhere but in many fandoms incest is hella prominent so thought I’d add that....

• Long hair & beautiful voices are actually considered of great value (sexually as well... which means its a turn-on....)

Again, some of these facts are outdated and some of them kind of take the fun out of writing fanfiction (like for Thranduil and the whole widower thing) but idc im still gonna write what I wanna write lol Peter Jackson with the movies did the same it’s all good.

If I find anymore facts I will put them in 😌 feel free to add more onto it if you may! 

Remember, this is what Tolkien and his son wrote. 

The three main sources I used are here;

Summary

For the actual facts

For the book quotes

And in these websites they actually state all the sources they used from Tolkien and what not! :)

(Not my gifs)

[unseeliekey]

Shuichi and Kokichi getting married 💜💙 What do you think that would be like?

IM SORRY IVE BEEN SITTING ON THIS ASK FOR SO LONG I JUST. I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON IT AND I WANTED TO DO IT JUSTICE. REST UNDER READMORE BECAUSE THIS GETS LONG.

I think! it depends a lot on the universe. i am going to ignore japan’s current stance on gay marriage for this. Post game/VR AU... I’m not sure if they would get married, but if they did, they’d go out of their way to avoid any kind of PR (maybe having learned from kaimaki’s mistakes.) It would either be very, very minimal, or... the whole class is invited (probably minus Shirogane) and it’s very big despite there being twelve guests in attendance- Angie magistrates, obviously! It’s a big affair- a little bittersweet at times, because how can it not be, and Kokichi jokes about his own death and Shuichi shoves cake in his face, and they both have people missing, but their friends are loud enough to make up for it.

It’s similar in a nondespair AU, I think, but... I like parties and I’m going to chat about them having a party! The whole class is invited (plus Shirogane this time) and so are Shuichi’s uncle, and DICE, and NO ONE ELSE. They’ve got some other friends- Shuichi through work, Kokichi through... Kokichi stuff, but not really wedding friends. I think both of them are actually quite private about it- Shuichi is shy, and the attention flusters him, and as much as Kokichi loves drama, he also. Does not like showing vulnerability and it probably gives him HIVES even thinking about it. Writing his vows takes months, (which is fine, because planning also takes months, and Shuichi has his vows down a week after they’re engaged but he spends the entire time overthinking them and ends up stammering when he actually reads them.) DICE end up having to drag Kokichi by his teeth to get out some genuine sentiments- but his still ends up filled with in-jokes and puns and on paper it’s very playful and teasing and fun, a nice contrast to Shuichi’s almost painfully earnest words.

and shuichi goes “oh. yeah. that’s fair actually.” and he ends up emailing their work emails that they never check so technically he told them. but they don’t rsvp and they don’t show up and he only thinks about them a few times.

Anyway! I don’t think the event is traditional at all. Planning is a disaster because Kokichi wants big and Shuichi wants Kokichi to have anything that makes him laugh, and Kokichi secretly wants little secret meanings everywhere. (Chess pieces on the cake, little fake detective pinboards, not-so-subtle floral language, objects that don’t mean anything to anyone but them.) Shuichi panics for a while about his friends, and his parents, and he overthinks it for a long time because he’s not sure if he wants to try and keep the event a little classier for them, or just say fuck it, because who knows if they’re even going to goddamn show up, right?

And Kokichi, who has already invited his nine people, just goes “okay, don’t invite them, then?”

And Shuichi flounders for a while because they’re his parents and it’s his wedding, and then he asks if Kokichi will be insulted if they don’t show up, to which Kokichi informs him that if they do, there’s a minor chance of a fist fight. 

Shuichi goes “you’ll fight my parents on our wedding day????”

And Kokichi goes “no, momota-chan will.”

Because his uncle is there! And Kaito is there (crying the whole way through) and Kaede! and Maki! and Himiko! and Kokichi.

I think in a post game, they walk up the aisle together, because tradition is stupid and they want to be close and they were making out two minutes before the band began to play. but in a universe where Kokichi has DICE with him? Shuichi can wait at the altar (which he is okay with, because, again, anxious) and Kokichi can walk up like the smuggest bastard you’ve ever seen. He does NOT have a veil. What he does have is the most ridiculous fucking cape you’ve ever seen. It’s white, and velvet, and furred, and bedazzled with ballet jewelery, and it takes all nine members of DICE to keep it from dragging all over the chairs around the aisle. It’s so stupid. He trips half way up. Shuichi, who is already dying of nerves, laughs so hard he almost falls over. 

A lot of things go wrong, I think. There’s only 26 people there and a photographer, and neither of them wanted to do rehearsals or anything, so the whole thing is being winged. Something gets set on fire at some point. They accidentally break open a bottle of vintage honeymoon wine from Rantaro instead of the champagne they were meant to be drinking. Kokichi’s white cape ends up stained, which he should have expected considering how stupid and big it is. Miu, weeping, calls them both whores in her speech- OH

 everyone gives a speech. Shuichi’s uncle doesn’t know many of these people that well (especially not the nine weirdos in evening gowns who no one had met prior to Kokichi disappearing to get ready), but every single one of them has something wonderful to say about his nephew. Some of the stories are ribald, or wild, or a little bit unbelievable- but every single person gets up to congratulate them, and most of them cry.

Anyway! after the speeches they all eat. and drink. there’s cake, but there’s also ice cream and pastries and a bowl of skittles that gets increasingly stick as it’s passed around, and people keep talking and keep laughing. Kokichi explicitly told DICE not to flirt with anyone, so naturally they do, with everyone, including Shuichi’s uncle, who is bemused at best. Shuichi has to run to set out a small fire at some point. 

A LIST OF GUESTS WHO CRY:

-Shuichi, choking up as soon as Kokichi reaches him and takes his hands, and then continuing to sniff for the rest of the evening and weep through all the speeches,

-Kiibo, all the way through the vows and uncontrollably,

-Kaito, pretending he isn’t, taking handkerchief after handkerchief from Kaede,

-Kaede, but politely, and she smiles the entire time

-all of DICE, at different points, but they all come up with increasingly stupid excuses for it,

-Korekiyo, who has to excuse himself after the ceremony- when Shuichi hunts him down, he expresses his apology for leaving and says he’s just too happy for them,

-Rantaro, a little, the second Kokichi looks up and wiggles his fingers to show off his ring,

-Miu, the entire way through her speech. Kokichi calls her a crybaby bitch halfway through when it looks like she might be about to break down completely, and that gives her enough strength to get through it,

-Tenko, but she won’t admit it,

-Himiko, openly, only a little bit because she wasn’t allowed to be the flower girl,

-Gonta. a lot. he is one of the happiest people there and he won’t stop crying. he’s embarrassed about it but he’s too happy to stop and he probably makes Kiibo start crying AGAIN at some point,

-Maki, oddly enough, but only when Kokichi and Shuichi move to go and dance. She tries to hide it and snaps at Kaito when he teases her, but when Kaede asks if she’s okay, because they all know she’s not the biggest fan of either Kokichi or the union, she quietly admits she’s crying about seeing Shuichi so happy.

and humiliatingly;

-Kokichi. a lot. through most of it. He gets halfway through his vows and he starts sobbing. Shuichi has to hold his hands to get him through it. He cries when DICE give their blessing and he cries when Shuichi’s uncle gruffly says he’s “a fine young man, though he doesn’t approve of his methods,” and he cries when he calls Miu a crybaby bitch and when Gonta hugs him and when Kiibo sobs into his shoulder and when Kaito musses up his hair and tells him to take care of Shuichi, and he cries through the kiss even though he’s smiling at the same time.

It’s hugely embarrassing to him and years later he refuses to admit to it ever happening despite the photographic evidence otherwise. Shuichi thinks it’s sweet- he’s proud that he managed to be that vulnerable around that many people. Kokichi has called him a slur after he expressed that sentiment.

There’s a last dance, though, after everyone has been dragged to various hotel rooms or passed out drunk, and they should clean up but instead they change the music to something slow- a waltz, maybe, with Shuichi adjusting the stupid cape and Kokichi reaching up to gently fix Shuichi’s tie (which has gotten a little rumpled by this point.) And they dance, with the lights a little lower and helium balloons sagging to the floor, and they dance. And maybe they repeat their vows- not the same words, but the same sentiments. Or maybe they don’t say anything at all.

There’s no first dance as such- music is played, and there’s wine, but Kaede is the first one to start dancing, dragging her date with her and tearing it up. Shuichi’s had a little too much attention, really, and he’s happy to sit back and chat a little more casually and hold Kokichi far too closely as they watch the others slowly migrate to the dancefloor. But after a while- when mostly everyone is dancing and his heart has stopped pounding quite so painfully, and he’s had just enough champagne to feel brave and Kokichi is looking so happy under the lights, he takes his hand and drags him over to the band and requests something- (i’m thinking the lovecats by the cure, both bc goth saihara rights and because it works very well for saiouma i think.) -and then he takes Kokichi’s hands again and they go dancing.

(and obviously everyone is staring at them now, because it’s their wedding, and with that cape how can you not- but Shuichi is too distracted to notice, or maybe too happy to feel self-conscious, and Kokichi is whispering something in his ear that makes him laugh and it’s kind of hard for everyone to look away from them, you know?)

Either way, when they get to their room they probably boink for a bit and then pass out only to be woken up late for their honeymoon two hours later by Rantaro, who knew this would happen and did warn them, and who receives a very nice postcard from France a few days later informing him that they made the flight. 

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

But You Can Never Leave [Chapter 12: The Mirror]

A/N: Hi y’all!! Please enjoy, this is a long one. We’re getting into the exciting stuff now, so I’ll be putting all my creative energy into BYCNL and will hopefully finish up the series within the next month. Thank you so much for your love and support! Each and every reblog/message/comment makes me smile and means the absolute world to me! 💜

Chapter summary: John gets a rap sheet, Roger gets defensive, Y/N gets suspicious, News Of The World gets a headline.

This series is a work of fiction, and is (very) loosely inspired by real people and events. Absolutely no offense is meant to actual Queen or their families.

Song inspiration: Hotel California by The Eagles.

Chapter warnings: Language, drugs, babies, drama, angst.

Chapter list (and all my writing) available HERE

Taglist: @queen-turtle-boiii​ @loveandbeloved29​ @killer-queen-xo​ @maggieroseevans​ @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @queenlover05​ @someforeigntragedy​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​ @joemazzmatazz​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​ @namelesslosers​ @inthegardensofourminds​ @deacyblues​ @youngpastafanmug​ @sleepretreat​ @hardyshoe​ @bramblesforbreakfast​ @sevenseasofcats​ @tensecondvacation​ @queen-crue​ @jennyggggrrr​ @madeinheavxn​ @whatgoeson-itslate​ @brianssixpence​ @simonedk​ @herewegoagainniall​ @stardust-killer-queen​ @anotheronewritesthedust1​

Please yell at me if I forget to tag you! :)

You’re not late. You’re never late.

And at first that’s okay, it’s more than okay, it’s a relief; because it was too soon to have a baby anyway, less than a year into a supposedly meaningless marriage, a marriage you and Roger never even speak of, a marriage that might have never happened at all—might only exist as a particularly vivid and pleasant dream—if it wasn’t for your freshly-minted British citizenship. At first you greeted each dark, fruitless stain of blood with a casual ruefulness—oh well, one more month of freedom, you would think, smiling a little, worrying not very much at all—content to let that milestone trophy of womanhood, of life, lay undusted and unclaimed in the cluttered pit of your mental oak trunk with a tarnished gold latch shaped like a lion’s jaw.

After four months, you start to notice things. You notice the way Chrissie’s twins have small willow-green eyes that turn down in the corners, just like Brian does; you notice how John’s children have his downy hair and that innate sort of reticence that some people mistake for banality; you notice all those pretty, anonymous young women pushing strollers through the blossoming summer foliage of Hyde Park. You notice the way Roger grins and waves at babies when you see them in airports or hotel lobbies, dazzles them like he dazzles very nearly everybody, like he still dazzles you. You notice a longing buried in your bones that you hadn’t known existed.

After six months, you are no longer casually rueful. You start ignoring the calendar, as if not noticing you’re due could stop the bleeding from coming at all, like how you’re not supposed to stare at the clock if you want time to pass faster. You start watching what you’re eating, trying to get more sleep, opening all the windows when Roger smokes as he flips through fashion and music magazines with crafty little snickers, flashing those pointy canine teeth you once assumed your children would have.

And now, after nine months—as the world hurtles towards the conclusion of the brisk October of 1977—you have begun to worry; because maybe this thing, this thing that everyone accepts as a guaranteed feature of the all-inclusive package of the human experience, isn’t something you get to have at all. Roger doesn’t say anything, doesn’t ask you about it. He is as he always is: sunlight and joy and heat and raw kinetic energy. But sometimes Roger’s huge blue eyes—those eyes you fell in love with, those eyes that convinced you to follow Queen to London, to stardom, to thunderous stadiums all over the world—go vacant as he gazes out into the horizon, as the sun sets over the garden of the Surrey house, as his face is lit up in gold and amber and celestial fury like the wildfire his soul is made of.

And you’ve begun to worry about him, too.

~~~~~~~~~~

The phone rings from the nightstand. The shrill clanging, like hail on glass, makes you wince beneath the tangle of blankets. Your hand fumbles out into cool night air, which pours in from the open bedroom window.

Where’s Roger?

Then you remember his hushed voice, his bleached hair tickling your cheek, his lips pressed to your temple: Hey baby. I gotta go jam with some people. Grab a drink or two. You sleep, I’ll be back by morning.

Sure, okay, fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. One of those infinite casualties of fame.

You haul the phone to your ear. “Hello...?”

“Hello darling, are you busy?”

“Well, it’s 2:39 a.m., Fred. So not very.”

“Perfect. I need you to go post bail for John.”

You wrench yourself upright, rubbing your eyes with your free hand. “What?!”

“He was drunk driving and backed into a cop car, pure genius. I’m rather indisposed myself at the moment, and of course Veronica can’t know. And you’re so good with him, dear.”

Your feet have already swung off the bed and onto the plush white carpet. You wonder what Freddie is ‘indisposed’ with; there are so many possibilities these days. “And you know about this...because...?”

“He used his phone call on me, darling. I don’t think he wanted to bother you. I suspect he’s a bit mortified.”

“Yeah, well, he should be.” You sigh and start pawing through the safe in the bedroom closet, the spiraled phone cord pulled taunt. Hundred-pound notes shuffle weightlessly between your fingers. You remember when Queen had no money at all, when you and Roger shared a pitiful—dodgy, you amend—one-bedroom flat, when you had to assemble each bouquet and tie each ribbon for John’s wedding by hand; and you’re shocked by the nostalgia that hits you in the gut like brass knuckles. “Sure, I’ll go get him. Just tell me where he is and how much he’ll owe me.”

John is slumped on the floor of the jail cell, alone and sweated and miserable. His hair is in complete disarray. He peers up at you through the iron bars with red, swollen, unfocused eyes.

“Hey,” you say quietly, smiling although you know you shouldn’t be.

He covers his face with both hands and moans. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

“Too late. Freddie asked me to come get you, he was drunk or high or in the middle of an orgy or something. You are the worst drunk driver in the world, just so you’re aware. You are obviously not cut out for a life of crime.”

“So I’ve gathered.” He swipes at the strands of hair stuck to his forehead with the back of his hand, bites his lower lip, shakes his head with that thousand-yard stare that says: How the fuck did I get here?

You drop down to your knees to meet him at his level. The concrete floor is filthy, spotted with grime and dust and crushed insects and smears of what might be blood. “What’s going on, John?” you ask gently.

“I can’t keep doing this,” he murmurs. “It’s okay when we’re on tour. When we’re on tour I’m preoccupied and exhausted and too high on the rush to think about it too much. I’m numb. Mostly. But then I come home and it’s...” He glowers, balls his hands into fists, beats them clumsily against his thighs. “It’s this relentless fucking cycle of feeling dissatisfied and guilty and inadequate. A disappointment of a husband. A failure of a father. And it’s inescapable.”

“Well, the constant pregnancy situation probably doesn’t help.” Veronica is expecting their third child in February.

He waves a hand dismissively, rolls his eyes. “It’s part of the thing. The ‘being a good husband’ thing. I can’t fix that. Birth control is a sin or whatever. Jesus is too busy pissing himself over that to care about starving kids in the Soviet Union, I guess.”

“That’s a cheerful prospect.”

“Sorry.”

“No, please, by all means. Throw off all your baggage, I can take it.”

Now he smirks, just faintly. “That’s what we’ve always done for each other, right?”

“We’ll be back on tour in a few weeks, John.” And that was true; the News Of The World Tour was scheduled to begin on November 11th in Portland, Maine. The band would spend the 12th in Boston and join your parents for dinner at the Queen Anne-style house at the intersection of Apple and Arcadia that you grew up in.

He whispers forlornly: “I can’t run from this forever.”

“You might have to. I’d love to know what Slavic Jesus has to say about divorce.”

John coughs out a surprised laugh. “Thank you. I needed that.”

“Come on. I posted your bail. I won’t tell Roger if you won’t. You can put the extra five thousand pounds in your ‘fake my own death and go live on a tropical island’ fund instead of paying us back.” You’re not serious, and John knows that; he would never abandon his children, even if they weren’t old enough to really remember him yet. But it has the desired effect, which of course is lifting the mood, making John divulge that rare and beautiful smile.

“I’m a wreck. I can’t go home like this. It’d be worse than not coming home at all.”

“I’m happy to offer you one of our five superfluous bedrooms.”

“Okay,” John sighs, clutching the bars of his jail cell and dragging himself to his feet. “I’m so sorry. I owe you for this, I really do.”

“No,” you reply, grinning. “Just find a way to send me the coordinates so I can visit you on your secret tropical island once in a while.”

You drive John home to the Surrey house, get him set up in the spare bedroom with the blue-grey wallpaper and blankets patterned with seahorses, give him a stack of Roger’s clean clothes, lay out fresh towels and a tray of water and cookies—biscuits, you reprimand yourself—for him. He’s mostly sober now, which makes you feel somewhat better; still, you are aware that you hate the thought of leaving him alone, even if he’s only a few walls away.

“Thank you,” he says as you stand in the doorway, his face meditative, his hands in the pockets of his leather coat.

“Of course.”

“You’re a good friend. The best, actually.”

“You’re a good man. You don’t always know it, but you are.”

John just stares at you with an expression you can’t read. Like the ocean: always mysterious, always profound. “Goodnight,” he says after a while.

“Goodnight, John.”

As you pull the bedroom door shut, you hear erratic thumps coming up the staircase. Roger stumbles into the upstairs hallway, singing under his breath and drumming the air with invisible drumsticks, and holds out his arms when he sees you. He’s wearing his dark green suit, an unraveling tie, one sparkling pink Converse, his prescription sunglasses tangled in his hair and forgotten. His eyes are effervescent, flighty, almost manic.

“Hey, love of my life!” he cries, comically loud. “What are you doing up?!”

“Shhhhh! Your bassist partied a little too hard and needed a place to crash that wasn’t overrun with kids. He’s in the blue room.”

“Deaks? Deaks is sleeping over?!” Roger exclaims, beaming. “All my favorite people are here!”

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t bother him. He’s pretty messed up, he needs the rest. I’ll make everyone pancakes in the morning or something. Come over here, let’s get you—” But the words die in your throat as you try to tug off Roger’s suit jacket. Fine white powder sheds off the emerald velvet fabric and onto your palm. You blink at it, at the residue like crushed aspirin, like the salt they scatter on Boston roads the night before a snowfall. “What is this?”

He rips his sleeve away, conjures up a smile to throw you off the trail. To dazzle his way out of this. “Nothing.” But he knows. And he knows you know too.

“You were...snorting coke...?”

“Come on, baby, don’t be like that...” He tries to embrace you; you shove him back.

“Roger, no, this is...this is...” You shake your head, shrugging off the shock, searching for the words. You’re confused, you’re exhausted, your mind is whirling. “We’re home, Roger,” you plead, like it means something.

Has he done this before? When? How often? With who?

You should know the answers. It’s not a good sign that you don’t.

“So?” Now he’s indignant.

“So it’s not like being on tour, you’re supposed to take it easy at home, you’re supposed to be, I don’t know, relaxed and recovering and, and, and content...”

You’re not supposed to have an excuse to do all those things that destroy people.

He laughs bitterly. “What, ‘happy at home’?! When has that ever been me?”

“Rog, please, I’m not saying you can’t work all the time or drink or smoke, I’m not even saying you can’t get wasted, I’m just drawing the line at cocaine and I don’t think that’s a terribly despotic place to draw a line.”

“Oh I’m sorry, I must have missed it, when did you become too moralistic for drugs?”

“Acid is different than coke and you know it. Acid doesn’t kill people.”

He glares at you, savage, almost hateful. “You don’t get to put me in a cage.”

“I’m not being controlling or self-righteous, I’m being concerned—”

“You’re being a fucking cop, that’s what you’re being,” Roger snaps.

“What do you want me to say?! I’m a registered nurse, Roger, I’m a medical professional, it’s literally my job to keep you alive—”

“No, it’s your job to make sure we can record and tour and I need it, I can’t play without it, don’t you get that?! I fucking need it!”

Instantly, John is between you, still fully dressed and sweating Manhattans out of his pores and seething. He’s taller than Roger; surely you must have noticed that before. But if you had, you’ve since forgotten. “Roger,” he threatens in a low, unyielding voice. “Go to bed.”

Roger recoils, disoriented, then opens his mouth to protest.

“Go!” John roars, pointing towards the main bedroom. He wants to say more, you can tell, he has rage burning in him like dragonfire; and if it had been Brian or even Freddie, John would have said it. But this is Roger. And you can’t remember a time John has ever raised his voice to Roger before now.

Roger can’t wrap his brain around it either, particularly in his present condition. His eyelids flutter a few times, then he scoffs—a dismissive, derisive sound, a sound that says I don’t know what to do with this information—and staggers away. He slams the bedroom door behind him as he disappears inside.

You collapse against the nearest wall and hiss in ragged breaths through your teeth, your eyes wet and stinging, your hands trembling as you press your knuckles to your lips.

“I-I-I’m so sorry about that,” you whisper, avoiding John’s eyes.

He’s going to say something, something harsh and terrible but true. He’s finally going to tell me how stupid I was for ever thinking this could work, just like Chrissie and Freddie and Brian. He’s going to tell me I deserve it.

Instead, John offers only this, his words flat and hollow: “Yeah. I’m sorry everyone is disappointing you tonight.”

And then he’s gone.

~~~~~~~~~~

In the morning—early afternoon, really—Roger doesn’t remember; or at least he feigns convincingly that he doesn’t. He props his feet up on the kitchen table and shovels down six pancakes and theatrically relays to you all the scandalous celebrity gossip in the News Of The World magazine with his prescription sunglasses perched bookishly on his nose. He asks you three times if you’re alright, trying to read the hesitance in your eyes, to unearth all those questions that are taking up a permanent residence there. You smile and nod, sip your tea, watch the sharp autumn sunshine as it streams in through the windows and bathes Roger in luminescence that seems so benignly interminable in the light of day. And when you peer into the bedroom with seahorse-patterned blankets and walls the color of cold rain, John has vanished; but the air is heavy with the scent of a litany of cigarettes and there’s a handwritten note left on one pillow.

Thanks for everything. Hang tough, as the Yanks say. An island getaway awaits you.

~ World’s Worst Drunk Driver

At 3 p.m., John calls and asks if the Taylors would be interested in an outing to the park while he gives Veronica a few hours alone to catch up on housework without the kids. His tone is light, casual, harmless; but you suspect he’s checking in on you.

“Of course we’re interested!” Roger says, snatching his ostentatious fur coat off the back of his chair. “Baby, love of my life, go get some cash from the safe so we can buy the kids ice cream.”

Incidentally, there’s not much cash left in the safe; but you find a ten-pound note in your wallet for the ice cream man and make a mental note to run to the bank on Monday.

Hyde Park in October isn’t so different than Boston. The leaves above are a kaleidoscope of sunstone and rubies and jasper and jade, crisping and curling around their serrated edges, drifting listlessly onto pavement paths to be crushed beneath rushing feet; the roots of the trees are centuries deep. Chrissie is walking laps around the pond as she pushes the twins’ stroller; Evelyn is a fairly good sleeper, but Theodore—Teddy to his closest confidants, of which you are one—is an anxious baby and prone to whining. He’s definitely Brian’s son, you often find yourself thinking with an affectionate smirk. John’s ten-month-old daughter Anna is nestled in your arms in a semi-conscious state, having thoroughly exhausted herself by painting her face with chocolate ice cream and thereafter enduring an impromptu bath and wardrobe change in a public restroom.

Laszlo, two years old and with a mop of auburn curls, trots by the edge of the pond as Roger grips his tiny hand, periodically crouches down beside him, grins hugely and points out swans and fish darting through the dark rippling water. Laszlo shrieks with laughter and tries to steal Roger’s sunglasses, which glint in the sunlight like black mirrors.

“So your kid’s a convict too,” you say to John.

“Gotta train them when they’re still small and good for shimmying through dog doors and such.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Extremely hungover, but I’m trying not to show it.”

“You’re doing a good job, I wouldn’t have known.”

“Excellent. I don’t think Veronica noticed. She was very curious about how I ended up in a pair of Roger’s skintight leopard-print pants, though.”

You chuckle, glimpsing down at Anna, rocking her a little as her eyes flitter open and then close again. You and John are on opposite ends of a wooden park bench, your ankles crossed and resting in his lap, your hair rustling in the breeze. John peers over at you periodically, studies you like an ancient statue of Aphrodite or Perseus under a spotlight in an echoing museum, then resumes his sketching. Your smile dies as you watch Roger giggle with Laszlo, lift him high into the cool autumn air, trumpet mock airplane noises in that high, raspy voice.

“Come on,” John prompts, nudging your boots. “I’ll take the baggage if you’ll let me.”

No, I think I’ll keep this one to myself. But you don’t. “It’s my fault,” you say softly. It’s my fault we can’t have children.

John lifts his pencil from the page, his greyish eyes gentle. “You don’t know that.”

“Statistically, it is most likely my fault.”

“It hasn’t been that long, has it? Definitely less than a year. Sometimes these things take time.”

“They didn’t for you and Veronica.”

“Yes, well...” John frowns uneasily. “That’s not always such a blessing.”

“How helpful. You should write newspaper columns for depressed housewives. ‘Don’t worry about that infertility dear, you could have it worse, you could have a life sentence with someone you can’t fucking stand.’”

That was unkind, you think, immediately regretting it. That might have been too far.

But John doesn’t seem offended. His pencil flies over the paper as he glances over at you again. “Is that all? Please continue. I’m riveted to learn more about my alternative career path.”

“No, I think I’m done.”

“Okay. What’s your favorite flower?”

You consider that. “Roger always gets me carnations or roses...and I like them, don’t get me wrong...but I don’t know if I’d call either of those my favorite.”

“It’s not that deep a question, Miss Nightingale.”

“I’ll defer to the artist’s expertise. Surprise me.”

“I’m no artist,” John warns, but he returns to his sketching nonetheless. “I’m really sorry about last night, by the way. I was being stupid and dramatic and immature and self-pitying. ‘Midway on our life's journey, I found myself in dark woods, the right road lost,’ etcetera etcetera.”

You’re no great connoisseur of Italian literature, but you recognize those famous opening lines of the Inferno. “Can I ask you something?”

“Please do.”

“What is this fascination you have with Dante?”

“Truly?”

“Yeah.”

He smiles pensively with his eyes cast out over the pond. “I like that his story has a happy ending. That someone can start in hell and sweat out all their sins in purgatory and end up among the stars.”

You raise your eyebrows, taken back, impressed. “That’s awfully poetic.”

“It’s strange, probably,” John says, scrutinizing his drawing.

“No, really. I love it.”

“Yeah?” He’s doubtful, but he’ll allow himself to believe you if you insist.

“Yeah. And no more drunk driving or other acts of self-destruction, okay? Queen would crumble without you, John. And so would I.”

In reply, he rips the page out of his notebook and hands it over. The image is of you: so infinitely more lovely and at peace than you feel, eyes wise and contented and reflecting halos of sunlight, John’s daughter dozing in your arms.

Tucked behind your ear, etched in graphite shadows, is a calla lily.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Darling, what do I look like?” Freddie bats his eyelashes flirtatiously.

“A raccoon.”

His face screws into a grimace. “I’m supposed to be a cat.”

“Yes, I’m cognizant of that. But you look like a raccoon. Which is why people keep assuming you’re a raccoon, which is why you’re asking me now if you look like one.”

“Bloody hell,” he groans, puffs on a cigarette, fluffs his hair irritably, slurps a drink that is fizzy and sapphire blue.

“The problem is that you went with black and white. You should have dressed as a calico or something. Or a grey cat, oh, I love the chubby grey ones!”

“I’m a musician, darling, not a fucking zoologist.” He exhales a ring of smoke and meanders away.

Queen, the band’s associates, and various music industry figures are all milling around the night-draped mansion. It’s half a Halloween celebration and half a launch party for News Of The World, an album named for the tabloid that Roger both loathes and yet refuses to stop having delivered to the Surrey house. He can’t stand the thought of not being clued into the latest gossip, trends, fashion, awards, of missing any piece of what stardom has to offer. In the spirit of Halloween, Roger is dressed as a tiger, his sleeveless sequined shirt striped with orange and black. You are a veterinarian (not so far a cry from a nurse that you can’t repurpose your old uniform), John a shark (he’s taped a cardboard triangle to his back like a fin), Veronica a sea turtle in a teal dress and with a shell painted over her sizable baby bump, Brian and Chrissie both bright green aliens with antennae bobbing from their headbands. Mary is here as well—outfitted (quite appropriately) like an Enlightenment-era queen—but so is Freddie’s new boyfriend, a shy man named Anthony who is young and handsome and compliant and dressed as a mouse. Mary beams dutifully whenever Freddie is speaking to her, but her expression clouds over when he turns away. She no longer has a gold ring gleaming on her wedding finger, although she did gain an athletic blond date whom she seems largely indifferent to.

As Roger wanders through the crowd shaking hands and howling at jokes, you sip champagne by the snack table and devour an obscene amount of crab puffs. John and Veronica are chatting—unenthusiastically, from what you can tell—nearby with lamb kabobs in their grasps. John passes you a smirk every once in a while, an I’m so over this party and I know you are too smirk of commiseration, and nurses a Manhattan. Chrissie nibbles on disks of cucumber and baby carrots and not much else, which is very unlike her.

“You alright?” you ask worriedly. “You aren’t sick, are you? These crab puff things are incredible, I can’t stop eating them. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve had three dinners so far tonight, I’ve become a monster.”

Chrissie’s lips are a tight, humorless line. “I’m perfectly healthy, I’m just a cow.”

“Chris, honey, don’t!” You pat her shoulder reassuringly with one hand, pop another crab puff into your mouth with the other. “You’re gorgeous, and most women’s bodies change once they have babies, it’s natural!”

“Yeah, well most women aren’t married to men with infinite opportunities to upgrade.”

“Chrissie, no,” you murmur, pained; but you aren’t sure what else to say. She’s not wrong. I wish she was, but she isn’t. And she already knows that.

Dreams by Fleetwood Mac is playing from the reverberating stereo, Stevie Nicks’ sensuous, nasally voice climbing through air choked with strangers and cigarette smoke.

“Now here you go again

You say you want your freedom

Well, who am I to keep you down?”

Brian bids farewell to some record company executive he was talking to across the room and slips out onto the back porch of the house, and after a moment Chrissie follows him. You resist the temptation to eavesdrop until you can clearly hear their voices, raised and combative, through the sliding glass door. You glance to John, apprehensive.

You better go out there, he mouths, and so you do.

“Thunder only happens when it's rainin'

Players only love you when they're playin'

Say women, they will come and they will go

When the rain washes you clean, you'll know...”

Under cold October stars, Chrissie has trapped her horrified-looking husband, backed him into a fountain of a dolphin spewing an endless stream of water from its snout. “Did you think I wouldn’t listen to your own fucking album, Brian?!” She shrieks. “Who is she, huh? Who the fuck is she?!”

You grip her arm and try to lead her away. “Chrissie, babe, not here—”

“It’s Late, Brian? Yeah, it’s real fucking late in your life to still be chasing whores over in America while I’m building your family here, isn’t it?!”

“Love, please, it’s not true,” Brian attempts anemically, reaching for her.

“It is!” Chrissie rages. “It is and it always has been and I was too busy being some blind stupid idiot who loved you to see it!”

She breaks down in tears and you shove Brian away, shoo him back inside. You pitch him a fierce glare as he leaves, retreating like a kicked dog. There’s nothing you can do to fix this, you coward. Because everything she’s saying is true. Chrissie clings to you like a life raft, sobbing into your shoulder, asking what she did wrong.

“I’m sorry,” you tell her, over and over again; because that’s all there is to say.

Eventually Chrissie quiets, goes still and resigned and numb, and you help her fix her makeup and lead her back inside. You stand with her beside the snack table and swear not to leave her side until the party’s over, until the men are done celebrating yet another triumph that will take them further and further from home. Brian is nowhere to be found.

“That goddamn broodmare,” Chrissie hisses, gulping straight vodka, staring venomously at Veronica.

“Why do you hate her so much? I mean she can be dull, yeah. She’s sanctimonious and naïve and dresses like a freaking Mennonite. But she’s not horrible or anything.” And her life isn’t so perfect either.

“It’s not obvious?” Chrissie asks, her voice like a blade.

“No...?”

Chrissie’s eyes are scorching, although you’re not the person she’s furious with. You just happen to be standing in the path of the storm. “Because she’s the only one of us who’s never going to have to find out what this feels like.”

Oh, I don’t like that. I don’t like that at all.

You try to spot Roger in the teeming room. He’s over by a crackling fireplace, telling stories with dramatic sweeps of his hands, bleeding charisma like sweat, and none of that is unusual at all. One of the people he’s talking to is Dominique Beyrand, and that’s not so unusual either; Richard Branson ends up at a lot of industry events, and Dom trails him around like a shadow, nodding politely and contributing little chirps of conversation in that posh French accent.

But here’s the strange part; here’s the part you’ve never seen before.

When Roger flashes that dazzling smile of his, Dominique smiles back.

~~~~~~~~~~

Three days later, you’re steeping in a sweltering bubble bath as the phone rings downstairs. You ignore it at first, because the hot water is unraveling all the tension in your muscles and the lurking shadows in your mind, and also because the calendar is hanging right beside the phone in the kitchen and you’re quite committed to ignoring it this morning. But the phone rings again, and again, and you’re aware that it could be something serious; Roger is working on some non-Queen collaboration at a studio in downtown London, and something could have happened to him.

Especially considering his recreational preferences lately.

You scramble out of the tub, pull on a robe that sticks uncomfortably to your dripping skin, leave a path of bathwater footprints down the hallway and steps—slipping twice and clinging to the banister for dear life—before finally careening into the kitchen to snatch the phone off the wall.

“Hello?” you gasp, winded.

It’s not Roger, nor someone calling to inform you that Roger has overdosed or disappeared or vaulted down a staircase or been hit by a bus. It’s Chrissie.

“Have you seen the News Of The World yet?” she demands.

“Ummm, the album...?” Of course I’ve listened to the album. About a million times. You have a particular affinity for Spread Your Wings.

“No, not the album,” she snaps impatiently, although she kindly leaves out the you idiot addition that her tone implicates. “The magazine. Have you seen it today?”

“I was mid-bubble bath and almost broke my neck sprinting for the phone. So no.”

“Good. Don’t read a word. Don’t talk to anyone. I’m coming over. I’m gonna grab John and come right over.”

“Chris, what—?”

“Do not touch that fucking magazine!” she screams, and hangs up.

Naturally, you don’t listen.

You go to the main door of the Surrey mansion and open it. Sure enough, the new issue of News Of The World is waiting on the porch for you. You pluck it up with damp hands; the whirlpools of your fingerprints stick to the parchment.

On the front page is a photo of Roger, but he’s not alone. He’s scowling at the paparazzo snapping the picture, his face lit up by the flash, painfully and unmistakably stunning. He’s in some sort of alley or side entrance to a restaurant or club. He’s somewhere he’s trying not to be seen, which anyone could tell you is remarkable for Roger Taylor. Beside him is a woman you recognize; and although she’s looking down and trying to hide behind her shock of lustrous black hair, you can see her lips are smiling.

The headline reads: “Queen Drummer Spends Royally on London Love Nest for French Mistress.”

[roguestarsailor]

One Day In December is such a good novel. I can’t believe I read the scorpio book recommendation and picked this up; whoever the astrologer person from the library is they really hit the mark. My god im literally sobbing. This is so goood!

Laurie and Jack have the most ordinary and mundane yet antsy and frustrating love story ever. I mean, this is a romcom so obviously they’ll end up together but the book spends like +300 pages making it seem impossible for that to happen! So many life moments that really shove them together but also tear them apart. So much unspoken tension!! So much unspoken truths!! so much to lose!! But as it near the ending and they’re both really figuring out their lives instead of finding distractions, or brushing aside feelings and red flags, and BOOM right in the feels. ahhh, i’ve never teared up for a love story before but I did for this! wow!!

“Might as well,” I grumbled. “My love life is official dead.”

Sarah screws up her finished-with fish-and-chip paper. “You’ve only got yourself to blame,” she says.

She’s referring to bus boy, of course. He’s reached near-mythical status now, and I’m on the very edge of giving up on him. Ten months is a long time to look for a complete stranger on the off-chance that they’ll be single, into me, and not an axe murderer. Sarah is of the vocal opinion that I need to move on, by which she means I need to find someone else before I turn into a nun. I know she’s right, but my heart isn’t ready to let him go yet. That feeling when we locked eyes--I’ve never had that before, ever.

i dog-eared this page because this is meeeeeeeeeeeee. not that ive ever had a love at first sight sighting in my entire life (but no one is gonna stop me from not making eye contact on public transport and hoping for the best!!). i love that Laurie is just as wistful; makes me feel better about myself (and makes me foolishly hopeful!!!) lol.

*spoilers*

Anyways, the time passage through this book was speedy; literally years pass as we read on. I was so anxious because its like long stretches of time passes and it literally takes years for them to officially get together. This is very different than other romcom books I’ve read since those generally is more quick to lead to the happy ending. And I guess it’s true. Love develops over time and at the same time, the time needed to *try* to get over someone but also figure yourself out as you age through your twenties. It’s never constantly spending time with someone either; its long stretches of time away from each other too. Most of the things that happen are really really mundane. It’s not grand, its not dramatic and its very quiet. Nobody makes quick decisions here and it’s so drawn out. 

It’s like how working at a job you hate can just escape you and you end up staying for too long. This book covers both the career stalemate and the love portion--staying in a relationship because you’ve built it and its actively choosing to keep it going even though it obvious not going to last. Even when Sarah and Laurie have their fall out, a good distance between time passes and I think that’s very normal. Even when they reunite again, its quiet and just casual and they slowly work back up to being the bestest friends again. Laurie and Jack relationship’s was actively trying not to engage with one another and it really showed--but its not completely radio silence nor intense heated moments. It’s fleeting because they both recognize that if they got together they would hurt Sarah, and then eventually Oscar and probably themselves the mostly. It’s watching them seeing the other person be with someone else or moving through life at a different speed and feeling like they’re too late and then having their paths diverge even more and then connecting at realizing the feelings are still here, and then diverging again and coming again. Their relationship is the definition of missed opportunities!!! But I think this is the most accurate account of adult relationships I’ve ever read so far and its really refreshing.

^ my literal face as i read the last few pages

*personal thoughts*

This gave me a really good insight into the world of dating and relationships and love. I am so used to reading these big grand things happening that the universe allow these two people to meet and create this magic. There’s the hurdles to jump through but they get through in the end and its implied that because they have the biggest element, which is love, means that they will be ok. They might have friends who root for them, they have little mice and birds to help them, so many elements in a typical romcom universe that pushes these two together. But this book was different.

As Jack dates Sarah, we know they don’t fit well but they stick it out. They actively try to date and get to know each other so they spend months to years dating. And its not that Jack only thinks about Laurie but rather its always in the background. Laurie tried to stay out of the way and Jack does the same. It’s wild to think that someone you have an almost instant connection with might not actually be what you want and you have to actively see the reality of the situation and actively live your life. To figure out if what you have with that person can technically work--makes it clear that a relationship IS work. It’s not passionate and fire! it’s very small, its texting every day and slowly giving a piece of yourself to this person. And its inconvenient as hell!!! Even Laurie being with Oscar, and actually getting married and trying to make married life work for them was mundane and average. There was no point where there was a dramatic STOP THE WEDDING, or like screaming “I Love You’s” and such for Laurie and Jack. Nobody was the bad guy and did the bad thing that made people realize that they don’t belong together; none of that! Oscar never cheated or became problematic, even Jack realized that have casual relationships wasn’t for him; nothing dramatic like that at all. Nobody actively objected to Laurie/Oscar’s union and nobody was actively rooting to get Jack and Laurie together. It had to be them, as individuals, choosing each other which is so fucken sweet and such a good expectation to have regarding romance love. Even though it started as a chance love at first sight moment, it ended up being them actively choosing and actively seeking out their own happiness and idea of what they want in life and then declaring it, separately, to each other that made them work as a couple. well there was a bit of a fanfare at the end of the book but it was cute. It was normal people! finding love! for each other!! I love this so much!!!

Songs to include in this Playlist I am 1000% gonna made for this book: invisible strings by Taylor Swift, Enchanted by Taylor Swift, gold rush by Taylor Swift, Speak Now by Taylor Swift, Permanent by Kygo, In Your Eyes by The Weekend, Heat Waves by Glass Animals, Just For A Moment by Gryffin, Iselin, Comeback by Carly Rae Jepsen, Bleachers, Don’t Give Up On Love by Kygo, Losing It Over You by Matoma, Ayme