#im so! so! pissed! that theyre closing!
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"The other Kyoto students were so mean talking badly about mechamaru while miwa was crying they just don't care about each other like the Tokyo students do" too many of you have the media literacy of a fucking walnut
#their definitely not as open and warm with one another as the tokyo students but that means nothing#miwa herself said theyre all scared of getting close to each other bc their scared of what will happen when they eventually die#and even then#they all obviously care about one another#they were all upset about miwa crying#they were all upset muta didnt rely on them and instead went to the curses for help#yall piss me off#i love the kyoto students so much#muta kokichi#miwa kasumi#MUTA AND MIWA HAVE MATCHING INITIALS JUST LIKE SATOSUGU IM ACTIVELY VONITING RN#utahime iori#zenin mai#kamo noritoshi#nishimiya momo#todo aoi#aratta nitta
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rhymes like poetry part 2
#im ill they make me ill#theyre always SO close to mutual understanding but fumble every time#theyre also both pretty bad liars#especially to each other#entry 59 tim is pissed off and generally just Angry. but somethin about 75 jay sounds like actually hurt#'im leaving dont follow me'#they also both get to beg each other not to leave so thats cool#marble hornets
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me and what we want are going through a lovers spat rn because i desperately want to write more for it but i constantly feel like shit so its really getting in the way of our relationship. also if youve sent me any asks that i havent responded to i am geniunely so sorry about it i am in the trenches right now
#sophie speaks#the disability is disabling me and its PISSING ME OFF#just let me write bro its not that hard#aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh#like im always thinking about it#drunk www!reader dancing to hot to go with the boys and every single one of them thinking about how bad they want to plow you as you-#jokingly flirt and wink and tease. and the entire time you have no idea theyre totally down 100% ready to go#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#if it gives fun dumb party vibes it is for www.#www is about the hot girl mascara running end of the night heels in hand look#hundredth thing i said www is about but like. something something the beauty of life and kindness and love and hope vs hate and loneliness#anything even close to that ballpark is what we want#gonna cry i geniunely want to write for it so bad i know im just complaining over and over but being chronically ill sucks so much#chronic pain sucks so much like whyyyyyyyyy cant i even go out to a cafe to buy takeaway in the car whyyyyyyyyy is the sun painful#its not supposed to be like that man :(#god i want another few months of my fibro going into remission pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee january february i loved you more than anything ever ahhh#nnnnnnnnnnghhhhhhhhhhh#ill. ill get there one day#so says most people#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#maybe ill just put in like the next hundred words or something#chugging along#so fucking slowly but yknow. literally have to spend basically all of the day inside my room because it hurts too much to be outside it#so. maybe i can give myself just a little slack. the tinniest bit
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FML fr
Finally got the damned Adderall prescription, but it's not going to be available for Several Weeks. So I'm calling my doctor again to see if there's some alternate prescription I can get so I can get SOMETHING sooner than Several Weeks From Now.
#speculation nation#looked up why it's on shortage rn and im so pissed off actually#are lawmakers so scared of random people using the medication that theyre gonna fuck over ppl who really need it???#all answers point to yes!!!!!!!!!#face in my fucking hands. like fuck dude ive managed so far but with it being So Close yet still out of reach#it's FRUSTRATING. man i just want my brain to work right 😭😭😭😭😭 why is that so much to ask for 😭😭😭😭😭#anyways im on hold waiting for the receptionist to get in contact with my doctor. wweh.
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me: i don’t wanna be a cog in the capitalist machine!! my job doesn’t care about me and i literally don’t get paid enough to care about it!!
the part of me relentlessly scrutinized for being the family fuckup: but,,,,when i do good job customers like me,,,,when i do extra managers think i’m the best,,,,
#bird noises#work sucks in a lot of ways#it’s just food service nothing special and it will destroy my body eventually#but also it is genuinely better for my mental health to just. get positive feedback and interact with people in a nice way#i havent really had any terrible customers yet. the occasional grumpy or kinda rude one but nothing i cant shake off in a second#that probably helps#its funny bc my parents notice the difference and its like GEE I WONDER HOW ELSE THIS COULD HAVE OCCURRED#PERHAPS IF THE HUMANS I LIVE WITH WERE ALSO NICE TO ME#but alas……#anyway thinking about this bc i accidentally volunteered myself to do two people’s closing tasks and that sucked#but my manager said im amazing soooooooooo maybe it was worth it#i’m gonna fight whoever’s in charge of their advertising tho for saying they have a ‘competitive wage’#which is $3-4 less than the nearby ‘good’ places money-wise AND ALSO. exactly the same or less than what people were making at this location#THREE YEARS AGO#which i know because i worked here. making $2.50 less. but i talked to the new hires and found out they made a good chunk more#we do get tips which is like an extra $1-1.50 so thats nice but its not competitive my friend#its barely acceptable#theyre lucky no one else would hire me#also pisses me off bc their main website advertises their starting wages as ACTUALLY competitive but c’est la vie#i’m in a weird situation where i need to Be Employed more than i need money per se so i’m fine with it for now#wren stop talking about panera challenge
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#GOD. how do i even begin#this crush is TESTING ME. REALLY TESTING ME#i feel like this is gonna be a Lesson of some sort oml#he's the most difficult guy ive ever met. like not in a bad way but JFJJRJDKDKDKDKDK#GOD HE CHALLENGES ME. I JUST.......... HHHHHHHHH#i ... i wouldnt want it any other way tho NDJDJDJDJDJDKDM#hhhhh it is nice to know tho. that like we are friends n hes gonna be in my life#like god that is so WEIRD#out of everybody i met at school... never imagined id be this close to him. like closer to him than anyone else even. its soooo weird...#along for the ride tho i guess JFJDJJDJDJDJDJ#personal#hes so.... idek how to explain this. hes SO straightforward. but he can be sweet too??????? like not in an obvious way but like. idk !!!!!!!#everyone's always like... god hes such a nice guy#n im just like. ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME GUY??????#like ya hes nice. i wouldnt be friends with him otherwise but OH IS HE PRICKLY.#THATS THE WORD. PRICKLY. GOD. I NEVER KNOW WHAT HES GONNA SAY HHHHHHH#n e way. im seein my friends on the weekend n theyre gonna want details n im like how do i explain that simultaneously i like him and#that also i think he was created to piss me off. be my NEMESIS????????#hhhh simple romance goodbye i guess. it was never meant for me JDJFJJFJFJFJDJDJ
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think im back in my Everyone is stupid era bcuz im mad at people for literally no reason
#rolls eyes#by people i mean like maybe. 3 . and i barely talk to them . Well lately#iunno something about the way . they all act the same but they would never admit it . and theyre the type of people to complain without#trying to fix the problem#i dont know . theyre always like#i dont know what to do ! im so miserable ! why isnt everyone doing exactly what i want them to ! pay attention to me !#i cant possibly be the problem here !#and nobody ever tells them otherwise because its mean🥺 itll hurt their feelings ... what if they do something bad...!#in which case 1 i dont care and 2 they shouldnt be interacting with other people if theyd do that#it pisses me off because they always think theyre some helpless animal that cant fend for itself#but they also think they can do no wrong and if for a moment they DO think they did something wrong#the thought isnt even explored because either 1 they got coddled or 2 the victim complex kicks in#everything bad happens to me ! why does nothing good ever happen to me ! how come every relationship i have fails !#well the obvious answer is you are the constant in this experiment . if you remain unchanging but the factors around you change each time .#You are the cause .#and i dont get the fear around being wrong or fucking up like that . who gives a shit . if you put in the effort youre a good person .#it doesnt matter who or what youre doing it for . if youre trying to improve yourself you are not a bad person at your core .#you say all that though and all they say is I am trying !!! i just dont know where to start...!!! and theyve been trying for years#like bud clearly something isnt working#i dont know . maybe this is me viewing life as an experiment but Really if you analyze this shit closely you can find an easy answer#ok rant over !
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I've never stepped into a hot topic in my life because- #indoterlalukonservatis ngl I wanna see what it's like 🚶♂️
i aint the slightest clue what that hashtag says BUT if you go into a hot topic nowadays its pretty chill honestly, it's really not that bad and you'll more often than not find anime and videogame merch
#snap chats#idk maybe im just desensitized#when i was younger i was scared of hot topic and spencer though LMAO#my eldest sis would Very Rarely take me to the mall and then we'd go to hot topic#i would also stay close to her cause i was scared but like. now that im an adult#1.) i go there when i can ☠️☠️ 2.) you will meet the nicest people in hot topics and skate shops and spencer's#maybe its just because theyre working customer service so Respectable but i always end up chatting with them#spencers scares me as a store though. thats just because im a dumb straight edge who hates drugs#and there is drug paraphernalia EVERYWHERE !!!!#you'd think i'd fall in line with my sisters in smoking weed at some point since- esp my eldest- they'd smoked while i was growing up#but no.... ive always hated the smell and the thought of it's just. No Thank You :] idc if other people do it just not around me please#oh yeah theres also sex stuff. 'sex stuff' what am i FIVE#just very much not my speed.. yk... the whole... sex repulsion thing i got going on...#i did get my snake ear cuff from there tho so. maybe im growing up <- i still hate spencers#back to hot topic though im pissed they used to have such a cool logo but now it's that minimalist shit#BRING BACK THAT SLIPKNOT-LOOKING-ASS FONT IT WAS SO COOL
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i did start watching the untamed because i couldve sworn someone i follow was like. Really into it and now guess what. guess mother fucking what.
#Identify Yourself Wei Wuxian Mutual!#god im.#SILLY GUY!!! HES JUST A SILLY GUY!!!!#im not even in it for the gay people i just really like how cheesy it is#its interesting plot and it reminds me of my grandparents tv shows#the fact that ihave zero idea whats going on w/out subtitles is very embarrassing to me as a chinese american who actually studied mandarin#but like. im learning how to say things like idiot and stupid in many many different ways!#the translations are like. Not Exact though. sometimes theyre not even close which is kind of funny#and it makes me want to get fluent at mandarin so i can do fan translations#for the sillies.#but yeah im. ah. really into it#does a gay little spellcast that pisses you off.
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i always have fun playing junkrat though. im always loud when we play but there is just something about his kit that makes me act like a fucking crazy person
#deeply satisfying in the 'ohhhh i bet theyre so mad i bet theyre soooo pissed' way#and the shitass idiot keeps falling for my traps ahahahahaha way#the only thing that comes close to being as fun to me is when im not playing junkrat and i go up against an enemy junkrat#because i know all their tricks and also have like. a lazer focus on finding the traps because i KNOW now. i know how bad i make fun of ppl#for stepping in it. especially for stepping in it more than once. so i cannot let that happen to me
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Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,
I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.
#speculation nation#this isnt anything personal. im just reacting to a post that kind of pissed me off.#to be fair i was never close with my great grandmother so im not particularly broken up about that one#but it's still yet another death in the family within such a short period of time.#my cat is on this list bc he was the first one and it majorly fucked me up. so yeah it deserves to be here.#the others. well. my grandma's best friend makes me sad but at least she was getting up in years#my uncle and dad though. especially my dad. yea those have fucked me up the most.#im never gonna be the same after experiencing all of this in such short succession.#it sucks in a major way. and things are still continuously tumultuous.#but you dont see me lording it over people and using it as an excuse to be an asshole.#maybe i make people uncomfortable with how casually i mention it. but like whatever. it's simply my truth.#that's still just like. me just talking about what ive been up to. that kind of thing.#idk acting like someone needs to be treated with the most tender of touches after experiencing a major death#to the point where you cant even tell them when theyre being a manipulative little asshole?#i dont fucking think so!#yeah okay all grief hits different but ive pulled myself up by the bootstraps and kept my head on straight#even after i experienced death after death after death after death after Fucking Death#whats your excuse? youre Sad? we all fucking are. thats just life.#it's horrible and awful and it sucks that we have to live with this but you CANT let that affect how you treat other people!!!!!#and here i am making my own post venting about it instead of replying to the aita post that sparked this#bc the person the post was about just made me so angry to hear about.#but i am... a reasonable adult who separates themselves from situations before reacting in anger...#and so im making a tumblr post to get the emotions out instead of getting emotional at random strangers lol#anyways i actually had a pretty good day today. but in the way of grief. the smallest things can trigger moods sometimes.#but i am letting the emotions flow... here they are... i have expressed them... and i shall now release them... amen...#negative/#i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.
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Gold star lesbians are so lame… nobody cares you haven’t fucked a man okay? A lesbian is a lesbian if they say they are because fuck you. Nobody fucking cares if a lesbian has sex with a man they’re still a lesbian. Graduate from fucking kindergarten, your queer elders would be disappointed.
#sorry but this just pisses me off#im not a lesbian but like fuck dont hold yourself above people like 😭#and gold star lesbians are… 😬😬😬#i find theyre always so stuck up#wheres your dyke and butch and fag appreciation?? wheres your appreciation for fags and dykes that fuck???#how can you call yourself gay when youre so fucking close minded#being queer isnt just about not being straight or cis or allo#its about going against the grain#being enclusive and community a family#were all here for each other#does this make sense? does this mean anything?
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Lmfao. I gave it 3 days, still couldn't find my wallet, so I called my bank and the DMV so I could get a new card and order a new license.... BOTH ARE CLOSED ON THE WEEKENDS. WHY
#WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW#and my sister is being a bitch about it so its not like i can paypal her some money so she can give me cash to get gas#fucking asshole#shes complaining about the fact that im upset theyre both closed. because she told me to go yesterday. and i told her i COULDNT#because i DIDNT HAVE THE GAS AFTER WORK#i barely made it home#im in the red as it is man#bruh#ive never been so pissed in my life fucking goddamn it
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i might delete the posts abt all this shit later btw i hope i can get it solved quickly i just rly dont want to have to be reminded of it on my blog lol
#i dont keep personal posts up very much n all this stuff just fucking sucksss lmfao. i just want to go in and have them fucking fix it#like. im pissed as hell. and i want them to be held accountable for this cuz this is totally fucked like it is not a small thing to do this#to some random fucking person esp to a trans person on his gender change lmao#but im also so fucking exhausted i have so much shit going on as long as this gets FIXED then after that i can think of what 2 do.#anyway i think theyre closed tomorrow but the next day i can try n get this solved cuz i imagine they will see that and panic and want it#fixed quickly so they dont get in massive trouble 4 it cuz like What the fuck.
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#im sorry ive been a bit of a misery guts and posting then deleting things#last night was supposed to be a nice night with my wider team#(we're all close pals anyways)#instead a bunch of them decided they could not handle their drink so they fucked it up for everyone#we went to support someone else in the wider team in their musical#but half of them were so fuckin gone during the show they were already pissing me off#and then it just descended into chaos#honestly im grateful i didnt get so drunk and i dont have the fear#however im actually still so mad and upset about their nonsense last night#embarrassing !!!!!#theyre in their 30s and have been drinking since their teens so youd think theyd have a handle on things#like i do and i am younger than they are!!!#ugh idk ill get over it but its making me reconsider my workplace bc ive never heard of anyones elses nights out going this badly#and i have been told some stories#its ridiculois#ridiculous* even lmao
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#...........................................................................................................................................#i think today was it#i think im about to be fired from mailman job#i said that if this job doesnt work out#theres nothing left for me#ive tried everything and nothing is worth it#idk why ive been alive for so long other than being bad at everything including kms#i have no one#other than people who dont accept me for being myself (trans/bi)#at this point if anyone were to try and help me id only be a literal burden#i feel so much like shit im privileged yet i cant seem to even take day to day well all i can think about is cutting myself up but then#if i dont die its just gonna be another problem for me to deal with on top of that i dont want people looking at me like that#id rather die i want to die i need to die#everybody i get close to leaves me and heaven forbid i a mentally ill person show symptoms of my mental illness and the people that have#said that theyre here for me gets pissed when i unfriended them on steam and that im abandoning them#when i cant even function alone#the only thing im afraid of is being alone or being betrayed#all of my friendships have ended and thats all i wanted in life was to have friends who helped each other out but not only do i not have#any of that i dont have a future even for myself#dont interact with me unless you have a good idea on how i can kill myself ive been done since i was 15#“itll get better” im 25 and privileged i should have nothing to complain about yet here i am getting worse by the minute for over 10 years#its never gotten better only worse and ive been fucking sick of it#please someone help me leave quietly i dont want to bother anyone else
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