#does a gay little spellcast that pisses you off.

[monoxidecahedron]

i did start watching the untamed because i couldve sworn someone i follow was like. Really into it and now guess what. guess mother fucking what.

[mianmimi]

LONG-ASS POST AHEAD! (Also, spoilers for a novelization no one read lol)

About the DS novelizations... How many are there? lmao I just read one published by Little, Brown and Company, adapted by Alex Irvine and based on the script by Spaihts, Derrickson, and Cargill. And it is nothing like the one you read. I feel ripped off, yours sounds way better!

The novelization I read does cover the entire film, as opposed to the one you read, though it doesn’t do much with it. Yeah, a book for kids, I know, I wasn’t expecting ten pages of Stephen, Mordo, and Wong in the greatest threesome that actually ended racism and homophobia. But it’s still really uninspired, is what I mean.

It’s almost exactly like the film, except in some places that seem devoted to fix certain plotholes (for example: Why did Kaecilius take just the pages he needed and not the whole book? Because he enjoyed the idea of people seeing the book incomplete, as evidence of what he’d done) or add inconsequential details (the weapons the zealots use are called Space Shards). There are parts that I can see why they weren’t on the film itself, likely because they went over the budget (Kaecilius and the zealots fight against several sorcerers + the librarian, they don’t just walk inside and decapitate the poor guy).

Curiously enough, most differences between the final film and the novelization are due to lines that were add-libbed by the actors on set, lines that must have the cusses removed, or lines that must have names of songs and artists removed because I guess they don’t have the rights to Beyoncé’s name lol

  Random vaguely interesting stuff that I remember:

  Kaecilius spent years away from KY. It doesn’t say how many years, just “years.”

  Stephen really fucking hates Nic West. It’s not even that kind of hate filled with sexual tension. It’s sitcom-nemesis levels of “fuck this pathetic waste of sperm, seriously.” It’s hilarious.

  Stephen is genuinely hurt when Christine comments she no longer dates colleagues because of him.

  Christine comes across as someone who has moved on 110% from her relationship with Stephen. She reads as exasperated and extremely disappointed around him.

  Stephen loves to drive, and he drives like he’s on a racetrack... and we all know how that ends.

  Before he passes out, he sees his hands covered in blood.

  He proves the old saying of doctors being the worst patients true. He really dislikes being a patient.

  What Christine’s bringing to Stephen the night of their big fight is a care package. Awww.

  Stephen’s physical therapist sounds like a sweetheart, tbh? Stephen describes him as being a huge optimist that always wants to make his patients see the brighter side of their unfortunate situations.

  Stephen considers apologizing to the physical therapist after the man actually gets him Pangborn’s file. But he doesn’t because, as he says, he’s not the apologizing kind.

  Stephen finds Pangborn by himself. How? Who the fuck knows. And Pangborn doesn’t tell him where Kamar-Taj is, he just gives Stephen the name. Stephen finds mentions of KT on books on mysticism, and these books mention it is located somewhere in Kathmandu.

Stephen spends days wandering in Kathmandu, probably sleeping on the streets, since there’s no mention of a hotel.

  This novelization doesn’t have the scene you mentioned in that other novelization, the one with the boy asking for Stephen’s last dollar, the one that gives him directions to KT and then replies to Stephen that Stephen is the one doing badly and not him. I wanted to read that part :(

  In this novelization, four men attack Stephen, not three like in the film.

  Stephen thought he could talk his way out of the mugging, and when he realized he couldn’t he was willing to give them the watch, then he snapped and thought fuck no I’m no stupid tourist and punched that motherfucker in the face. The watch is not really as important as in the film, or at least it doesn’t feel that way, it’s almost an afterthought.

  Stephen thinks Mordo’s epic smackdown to the muggers is “like something out of a movie.”

  Stephen describes Mordo as a “young man” which is cute, and probably means that Mordo is younger than Chiwetel (Mordo the grown up twink and Stephen the chickenhawk theory confirmed? lmao). He notices Mordo’s forehead scars. Also, he doesn’t recognize Mordo’s accent, which means that it isn’t British, because Stephen would definitely recognize a British accent. Come to think of it, Chiwetel’s accent in the film is not entirely his own, and at times feels like he’s trying to give Mordo’s accent an Eastern European feel. Mordo is a Romanian/Bavarian aristocrat confirmed?

  Mordo is very serious business here, unlike the film. This confirms Chiwetel saw the script and said nah fam how about if he’s sweet and gay

  Stephen thinks of Mordo as “his rescuer” until he finds out his name when TAO says “Thank you, Master Mordo.”

  Stephen actually hears Mordo’s voice in his head when he says that Stephen’s heart-rate is dangerously high.

  In this novelization, Mordo is the one that grabs Stephen and throws him out after TAO says she won’t teach him. But in the film it’s Master Hamir. Seriously, I screencapped the scene, you can briefly see Master Hamir as the only person at the door when Stephen’s thrown out. TAO told Master Hamir to handle the white trash and he fucking handled the white trash. I love that dude lol

  TAO was debating with the sanctum masters about whether she should let Stephen stay, but she remained unconvinced. Mordo convinces her.

  TAO is the one that tells him to go to the library. The library is Stephen’s very first stop after his first real talk with TAO. It’s on his second trip when he meets Wong, which would mean he read all those books in one fucking sitting???

  “Mordo stopped next to him. Strange concentrated harder.”

  He really wants to make a good impression :’)

  Stephen doesn’t know Wong knows he’s been conjuring portals on the library to take the books Wong forbade him to read. He’s genuinely surprised when TAO tells him she knows.

  Mordo is angry during The Sparring Scene™ like, this dude is always angry, no wonder Chiwetel thought nah fam he ain’t angry he just very gay and can’t find a good white top

  ““What’s that?” Strange asked.

  “That’s a question,” Mordo said with the smallest of smiles. A joke, Strange thought. He was starting to like Mordo.”

  Film: Mordo gives Stephen a soft punch to the shoulder. This novelization: Mordo straight up kicks Stephen in the chest like he’s auditioning for a Hong Kong martial arts film.

  Stephen e-mailed Christine twice. He missed her and wanted to apologize to her face-to-face.

  Stephen stops writing that third e-mail to Christine and jogs to the library to learn spells specifically from the Book of Cagliostro because he wanted to see if it was possible to go back in time and fix his mistakes. Stephen, you motherfucker, didn’t you pay attention in Natural Law 101?

  Stephen’s stomach gets the rumblies when he studies :’)

  Magic is shown to be kind of addictive and seductive. Stephen is pretty much seduced by the Eye and the book to continue fucking up after he does the thing with the apple.

  He doesn’t believe (more accurately, doesn’t want to believe) TAO could lie and use the Dark Dimension to live indefinitely. At least not at first.

  Wong is fucking pissed off when he sees Stephen with the Eye. In fact, some of Mordo’s lines in the film are Wong’s in this novelization.

  “Mordo was looking at Strange in a new way. There was anger still, but also some respect… and maybe even a little fear.”

  Wong and Mordo stare at Stephen with pity and disgust when he says he doesn’t want to fight in their mystical war and is gonna bounce thank you ‘cause he just wants to go back to his previous life.

  Stephen learned the Shield of Seraphim spell from Mordo. Mordo was his spellcasting tutor, apparently.

  Stephen actually notices that his fight with Lucien in the astral dimension gave Nic West extra chips and he comments oh what a lucky day for Nic with the bitterness of a man who still thinks Nic West is banging Christine. He isn’t, Stephen, leave the poor man alone lmao

  In the film, Christine is more mildly exasperated/relieved when she’s stitching Stephen up. In this novelization she’s got no time for his shit.

  Stephen thinks she’s a “phenomenal doctor” :’)

  Stephen thinks it feels good to apologize now and feels like a changed man :’)

  Mordo has a sword-like relic that is strapped to his back. A concept that never made it to the film itself, it seems.

  Stephen thinks he isn’t ready to become a master, feels like he’s just begun studying magic. Masters he respects and thinks are better than him? Wong and Mordo and literally no others.

  In the film, Tilda does a wonderful job at portraying TAO just simmering with rage on the inside at Stephen’s fuckery but keeping a cool outside, because that’s exactly what happened. She’s so pissed Stephen actually thinks she will hit him before she changes the subject and leaves to get reinforcements.

  During their you lack imagination/a spine thing, Stephen is ready to take a swing at Mordo (lmao good luck with that) but the zealots interrupt what would have been the world’s shortest fight.

  Mordo cries in shock when Kaecilius stabs TAO ;__;

  Stephen briefly acknowledges that Nic is a good doctor (but only because Christine said so) because fuck Nic West lmao

  ““Mordo won’t see it that way.”

  “Mordo’s soul is rigid and unmovable, forged by the fires of his youth. He needs your flexibility, just as you need his strength. Only together do you stand a chance of stopping Dormammu.”

  She was right. Strange knew it.”

  Stephen knows he needs Mordo. He knows y’all.

  This novelization only mentions that Christine kisses Stephen, but it doesn’t mention where? She still leaves to “her responsibilities” but without saying where is she kissing him it makes more ambiguous. Did they mean for her and Stephen to go back together at first and then said nah fam Christine deserves better in the actual film?

  Stephen calls the Cloak a “good cloak” and that is very important ok

  Wong’s relic is explicitly referred to as the Wand of the Watoomb.

  Mordo is waiting for Stephen in the ruined library of KT, it’s not the NY sanctum. This was sort of clear in the film but still kind of ambiguous. But nope, it’s KT, where the doors to the sanctums are.

  “His last conversation with her rang in his head again. The Ancient One was right. Strange needed Mordo’s strength and single-minded belief in right and wrong; Mordo needed Strange’s flexibility and ability to see different solutions to a problem.” :’)

  ““The bill comes due,” Mordo said. He sounded almost like a preacher, warning of the wages of sin. Strange wondered what had happened in Mordo’s past to harden him this way.

  […]

  “You told me once to fight as if my life depended on it, because one day it might,” Strange reminded him. He could still see Mordo dancing through the air with the Vaulting Boots of Valtorr. “Well, today is that day. I cannot defeat them alone.”

  Mordo looked at him quietly… and nodded. As Strange had known he would. He was a soldier who believed in his cause even when he no longer believed in his leaders.”

  This is all sweet and all but the fact that Stephen refers to Mordo’s fighting as “dancing” just takes my brain to Mordo poledancing for Stephen and I am not ashamed.

  In HK, the spell of the time stone/eye doesn’t work on Kaecilius and zealots for long because the dark dimension is too close and is interrupting the spell’s effectiveness. Nice plothole fix, there.

  It’s unclear whether Wong is dead or not. Is he dead or just under the rubble, not dead but dying and agonizing? Up to you to cry about :(

  Mordo calls after Stephen, and Stephen wishes he could explain what he’s about to do but there’s no time :(

  Kaecilius’s eyes are actually sinking into his skull and more and more of his face is gray and peeling, btw. Would’ve been cool to see that in the film.

  Stephen gets the idea of the Dormammu loop by remembering what Mordo told him about dimensional openings, spatial paradoxes, and time loops. Technically, Mordo can't get mad, Stephen got the idea from him lol

  In this novelization, Kaecilius doesn’t say “He’s gone. Even Strange has left YOU and surrendered to his power.” He says, “He’s gone. Strange has left to surrender to his power.” So... what’s up with that? Is this a confirmation that Mordo is meant to be gay in the film? ‘cause I’ma take it as such.

  Stephen thinks he saw something moving on the edge of the dark dimension, he thinks its living forms, citizens of the dark dimension. Shame we didn't get that in the film, it would've been a perfect way to tease Clea. It'd be sort of like in the comics, with Clea being impressed by the fact that Stephen dared to oppose Dormammu.

  Stephen knows Mordo is hurting badly, because TAO was all he believed in and now he has nothing, but he doesn’t know how to make it hurt less :( (Stephen, you could have used your dick)

  Stephen looks at Wong after Mordo leaves, but neither of them know what to do/say, so they just return to KT. And then they never regretted not talking Mordo out of his misery. Oh wait. Whoops!

  Stephen is seduced by the Eye (or the time stone) again, it’s Cloaky who convinces him to put that shit down on its pedestal before you doom us all you fool.

  “Mordo always had been a bomb waiting to go off, Pangborn thought. He was a black-and-white kind of guy. Either your best friend or your worst enemy.”

  Mordo removes Pangborn’s “essence of power” whatever the fuck that means.

  ““Too many sorcerers.”

  It was an argument he planned to have with Stephen Strange.…

  Soon.”

  Except it’s been like 5 years by now, so Mordo’s definition of “soon” is not really like ours.

  And that’s it. That’s that novelization. Like I said, uninspired as fuck. I wish I could find the one you read :(

__________________________________

Whoa Nonny! Thank you for this! I haven’t gotten my hands on the novelization you read yet, but I’m hoping to get it on kindle. That’s where I got my version. It has the same publisher as yours, but with a different author. It looks like this.

Thanks for writing the post describing the novelization you read Nonny! I appreciate you taking the time and effort for sharing that with us :) Especially when not everyone can get their hands on that info. It’s pretty fascinating to me how much changes during the production of a movie, and honestly I’m pretty happy we got what we did. Especially in terms of Mordo. They significantly softened and warmed him up from the initial plan it seems. And I love that so much *swoons*

[yeahwesaidthat]

TWWS: Gaming Edition

All it took was one game of Quiplash to double the amount of usable material. NOTE: Turns out AA’s actual initials are AS. That said, there’s an AS in my other D&D group, so I’m going to keep AA for him, with the second “A” standing for “Awesome.”

IC = In Character OOC = Out Of Character

Overheard at Random

About lactose intolerance: A: "Why eat cheese?" SW: "Why breathe air?"

About crazy picture poses: ST: "I love how you were horrified at first but then amused." DI: "You have that effect on a lot of people." ST: "Mostly women."

About good weather: JB: "Today was a great day for a funeral. I know - I was at one."

"Overheard" Playing SWTOR (Star Wars: The Old Republic)

About an escalating argument: Player 1: "Who wants popcorn?" Player 2: "I dunno about popcorn, but [player] could use a Xanax."

Tattooine? Jakku? Jedha? Korriban? Hutta?: Player: "I live in a desert region with striking similarities to Satan's parched sphincter." Note: It’s sad that I know the names of so many Star Wars planets...

Player: "What's the point of mastering the Force if you can't misuse it?"

Alderaan Achievement Title: "A Few Voices Suddenly Cried Out In Terror"

Player Name: "Master Baitor"

"Overheard" During Quiplash

An alternate use for a banana - Fill the void in your...heart?

The biggest secret the government keeps - Area 55: Electric Boogalo - They know what their job is

A more environment-friendly alternative to toilet paper - 4th ed character sheets

Write a newspaper headline that will really catch people's attention - Hey fuckers look at this shit - Trump did a thing. Again. We are fucked.

The worst name for a mountain - Mount My Ass - Mount Vulva

A bad name for a brand of bottled water - Your Rhine

The name of a pizza place you should never order from - Little Paws Animal Clinic

Come up with the name for a new TV show with the word "Spanky" in it - Wanky Spanky Sperm Banky

A name for a new cereal that's for adults only - Lucky Dildos and Toys - Fifty Shades of Grain (shamelessly stolen from tumblr)

A terrible name to have if you're running for public office - Hillary Clinton - Bill Clinton

What do you call a baby sasquatch? - Sasqueef

About the nature of Quiplash and times played: Bubbles: "I'm worried that I'm accustomed to seeing the word 'ERECTION' in that font."

KH: "Bubbles, I've been pissing off some Americans with my Irish sense of humour." Bubbles: "Good girl."

Come up with the name for a beer made especially for monkeys - Indian Pale Ape - Blue Moonkey

A prank the Supreme Court justices probably play on each other - Voting "Yes" to gay marriage I should probably mention that answer was posted by the resident lesbian

A lesson that probably wouldn't be taught on Sesame Street - T is for Tax Evasion and Treason - Anal Probing Bubbles: "They are PUPPETS! THAT'S BASICALLY ANAL PROBING ANYWAYS!"

Come up with a title for an adult version of any classic video game - Womb Raider: Temple of Planned Parenthood

New requirement at amusement parks: "You must be this ________ to ride" - Politically correct

Three things MacGyver needs to make a bomb - Phone, insult, Trump's number

Another name for a sex-change operation - Political correctness

The reason Pluto isn't a planet anymore - Got lost in Uranus

A better name for France - Land of the Flee

What makes hot dogs taste so good? - The souls of children - The blood of your enemies

A great name for extra-extra-large condoms - Fist Fitters Also the lesbian's answer, and it got Quiplash (100% of votes)

Overheard During D&D

Underdark woes: KH: "One does not simply walk into Menzobarranzan."

About a rogue's questionable choices: ST: "What's the gestation period for a demon lord?"

ST: "Excuse me, could you possibly make a little more noise? I don't think they heard you in THAY." For reference:

Vrock that won't die = Dwayne "The Vrock" Johnson

About the carnivore character's choice of meal: AD (IC): "The bloated and bloody doesn't [put] you off?" AA (IC): "Just seasoning." CD (OOC): "Oh, is it a freshwater river or a saltwater river?" AD (OOC): "Oh, yeah, she's just brined."

Questionable naming decisions: CD (IC): "Brown Wind!" ST (OOC): "...It's a grey horse!"

We've seen some shit, man: KH: "Nothing surprises me anymore." CD: "You were being undressed by a tree two hours ago, y'know."

Resurrection spellcasting conditions: KH: "'Dead for no more than a century,' so we have a hundred years to bring him back."

About a WTF relationship: KH: "It's a match made in...Pathfinder."

About the vrock fight: ST: "She was between a vrock and a hard place."

About a picture of the aforementioned undressing tree: ST: "That's the rape log." JI: "It was not a rape log!" KH: "It was a rape log."

The coward vs. the stairs: CD: "I found them!" AD: "Yes, so go up them." CD: "...All of them?" AD: "...Maybe just start with two or three."

When a bibliophile finds a library: ST: "You want someone to look at you the way she looks at those books."

About dangerous creatures: ST: "It's gotta die. Nothing's allowed to be immune to psychic [damage]."

Fun with the soundboard cues: AD: "When I heard the boss fight music start I would've cast Armor of Agathys."

About a daemon (as opposed to demon): ST: "So she's a cut-rate, 'couldn't make it in succubus school' sort of demon."

Confusing quests: MR: "We found what you've sought! What have you sought?"

Interracial negotiations: MR: "Sprechen zie Common?"

Fantastic Beasts and their Questionable Attributes: AD: "We can arcana check on his ass."

Snacks: ST: "Orcish Delight."

JI: "They're going to an island called the hurricane queen. Also known as my wife."

Naming a sea turtle: AA: "This one I call...Brunch."

AA (IC): "I do not threaten." KH (IC): "[No,] you promise." AA (IC): "Yes."

Sea fighting: AD: "You've been fish-slapped."

Horrors untold: KH: "I do not have enough swear words for this situation!"

Reactions to horrors untold: AA (IC): "These scars...they show your character. You have a lot of fucking character."

Puns in relation to horrors untold: JI: "Resigned to your face - fate..."

Interesting weapon material: MGW: "You all take a moment of reflective silence." JB: "Nah, I'm just cleaning my bone." KH: "Technically that's a moment of reflective silence." KC: "Not if you've seen the barbarian do it."

Scrying like bad cell reception: KH: "Switch to AD&D." JB: "Can you scry me now?"

At every opportunity: JB: "The bone is first in the hole."

About the taste of human: SW: "You would know." A: "Nah, I don't swallow." MR: "This conversation is making me uncomfortable."

About the previous quote: K: "I don't get it." Everyone Else: "GOOD."

Future choices: MGW: "Why don't we cross that bridge when we come to it?" MR: "We don't need to cross it! We have an airship!"

Wrestling prep: MR (IC): "I want a good, clean fight." A (IC): "No we don't." JB (IC): "What's a clean fight?" A (IC): "It means you have to take a bath first." JB (IC): "What's a bath?"

Breaking an effect: JB: "You get to roll a save for that." MR: "Yep." (rolls) "Nope."

Last-ditch tactics: SW: "I open my portal to the bullshit dimension. It's very crowded."

About encountering a siren: AA: "Sorry, thought you were in trouble. Didn't realise you were mating." ST: "It was kind of fifty-fifty."

Most likely about a euphemism: VI: "Have you been waiting to use that joke?" ST: "All fricken' night."

About a SUCCESSFUL "encounter" with the siren/getting the siren to go with us: JI: "She'll come." KH: "She already did, but ok."

About rolling the ones out of d20s: KH: "Allow us our superstitions, woman."

About a cranky character: A: "Moody little drow, aren'tcha?" JB: "You mean typical."

About new companions: KC: "Will you stop counting our cannon fodder before we meet them?"

Describing a bad situation: RD: "It means we're fucked, my good man."

About yak-folk: KH: "That looks like the guy from Zootopia."

MGW: "There's a bridge that looks like it may have collapsed at some point." JB: "Is it a-bridged?"

The pervy paladin strikes again: MGW: "You're gonna find something you love, A." AL "Another naked man?"