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#im sign up this headache
craxxez3 · 23 days
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Mathias is 15. So it's make sense when the actor said he don't know if Mathias really like Erik. It's maybe one of the puppy love, that will pass by.
I'm not Matherik shipper. The moment it's down on me they all 15 babies... I don't expect a heavy romance in this show. So give me messy dramatic teenage drama, that the headache I sign for.
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downsteepy · 2 months
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i am very grateful that im not someone that has to deal with daily seizures but it is evil when it takes like a week and a half's worth of business days to recover from a seizure
#if i had them everyday or every other day i would be so fucked 😭#id like to say they dont bother me per se but the entire week after is laying in bed after 11 pm and wondering if jts going to happen again#bc my head feels like its about to explode#and then do not get me started on the fear of getting in the shower within the first few days of one happening .#reasonably i understand that my seizures happen from 11pm to maybe 3 am on average .#but ill have a seizure and then have to hype myself up for like 2 hours just to take one 3 days later st like 2 pm#my seizures do not interfere with my day to day life in extreme ways but existing knowing that i have them during a certain time frame is#like. Hey man can you grow up#also it is really funny being told theyre probably hormonal or stress related and should 'probably stop' as i get into my mid 20s .#Well im turning 25 next month and evidently i still have seizure activity in me#also also heres a fun fact: my epilepsy does not have an actual named diagnosis they just said i certainly have a Form of it ❤️#they dont know what causes them and i have no real warning signs (bc a headache =/= potential seizure)#they dont bother me but i do have to live with the knowledge that i could have one any day now and wake up to my mom asking me questions#hope everyone can tell i have a lot of feelings about my epilepsy despite not talking about it like ever ❤️#the only thing that really bothers me is the no warning signs. ive been perfectly fine and had them. ive had massive migraines when i was#unmedicated and didnt have one. very bizarre#and ofc all my brain scans come back normal all the time so they dgaf Lol
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Do you know this (canon) ADHD character?
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Proof: Discussed within the book, from chapter 2
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thebirdandhersong · 2 years
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But where do I put all this love? It's inside of me, growing and festering and threatening to explode out of me. Who do I give it to now? Where does it go? Where does it go to fade away? Where does it go to die a quiet death? There isn't a pair of familiar hands to receive it anymore, and no longer a welcoming mailbox waiting with its mouth open. Where does it all go and where should I put it? Who do I love now, the way I loved that boy?
#what a headache this is. i dont love him anymore which is just as well because oftentimes that ish HURT.#but whose hand do i hold who do i cook dinner for who will turn to me with laughter in their eyes#like they know i understand the joke who will hold the umbrella so far over my head their whole sleeve gets wet#who do i send letters to while full knowing i'll never get a response but still hoping for one who will wink at me across#the dinner tablr who will walk me home who will i think of while im dancing in the kitchen#who will i make tea for who will i agonize over while planning birthday and Christmas gifts#who will i love the same way? where do i put this mountain of love#what do i do with all the little specific ways i learned to love#and who will love me when the only person who has ever looked and me and said i love you and i want to cherish you#was also the person who made me feel like an afterthought a sincere but directionless fling#who made me feel undesirable and unseen and unwanted? i have never felt so unwanted the way i felt at the very end#anyway this is probably a sign that im up way too late anyway what is the point in wondering lol#since breaking up with the boy i have shot my shot with four other friendly candidates#and have been gunned down by disinterest or unfortunate barriers#since breaking up with him four of my friends have gotten engaged and one has begun a new promising relationship#and four others are pregnant. when will i not have to examine my heart#and see the ugliest kinds of covetous resentful thoughts and feelings and be like#ah yes this is not a healthy response#also no wonder the only boy who ever thought you were worth loving never loved you fully and completely#he signed up for what he thought was a beautiful heart a beautiful mind a beautiful soul no wonder he was disappointed
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arcaneyouth · 1 year
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girl...help!
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lvminae · 1 year
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If you as a solicitor are going to insult people who don't sign your petitions then maybe someone should shoot you in the foot until you learn some manners.
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watching requiem for a dream while being high on caffeine because i drink black coffee right after finishing my tea feels like a terrible decision
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depresseddepot · 3 months
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karma has come to claim me
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haojun · 8 months
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Just had the realization that i havent drank plain water in probably 72 hours and am actually very dehydrated
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rafeandonlyrafe · 7 months
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desperate measures
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words: 1.7k
warnings: 18+ only!, smut, p in v sex, BABY TRAPPING!, pregnancy, female receiving oral
rafe thought it was just his paranoia, the gnawing thought in his mind that you were going to leave him. he never considered that it could be true, that you were putting plans into place.
until a rumor spread that you were fed up with his behavior. his over protectiveness, his anger issues. you love him, but think he needs to heal without you first. that's the claim thats whispered to him at the party, one you aren't attending, staying home to study for your online college class.
rafe rushes home, rage flooding through his veins, knowing he needs to do everything and anything to get you to stay. 
--
“hey gorgeous, almost done studying?” rafe combs his fingers through your hair, pressing a kiss to your head.
“yeah.” you hum, tilting your head up to allow rafe to press a kiss to your lips. “just give me 15 more minutes and ill come to bed, mkay?”
“okay.” rafe nods, squeezing your shoulder in support as you go back to typing out your essay. 15 minutes gives him plenty of time to do what he needs to. 
rafe grabs the condoms out of his bedside table drawer, throwing them all onto the bed. he's not sure how many tries it'll take, but he's determined.
he moves to your pinboard next, grabbing a tack that holds up a picture of you and rafe when you first started your relationship, before you saw the dark side of him. rafe frowns at the picture instead of mimicking the smile in it like he normally does, now noticing the difference in you, your smile is not as wide, eyes duller, cheeks not as full. 
“fuck.” rafe shakes his head, angry at himself for letting you down without even realizing it. things are going to change, he has to fix it. he can’t let you leave. rafe moves back to the bed, pin in hand as he takes a condom package and presses a hole through it, making sure to skewer it completely through. he continues until every condom is poked, glad for once that you reacted badly to birth control and had to seek other methods to prevent getting pregnant.
rafe cleans up quickly, tossing everything back into the drawer and then pinning the picture back up, looking over the other snapshots that you put up. there's some of your friends, but most are of you and rafe. rafe knows you love him, he just needs to make sure you never stop.
“whatcha looking at?” you ask as you enter the room, voice light and airy despite the bags under your eyes. rafe credited it to you taking college classes, but was now worried that he contributed to your current state.
“just how beautiful you are.” rafe doesn't miss the look on your face, the surprise.
“oh.” you blush, raising your hands to press your fingertips into your cheeks.
“and im really sorry if i haven't been telling you that enough lately.” rafe crosses over to you, hands coming to cup your cheeks, your hands trapped under his.
“what are you doing rafe?” you question.
“i haven’t been treating you well enough lately and im so sorry for that baby. i love you.” rafe presses his lips against yours. you react to the kiss, pushing past the surprise to kiss back, sliding your hands out from under his to grip his shirt, tugging his body into yours.
“are you tired princess?” rafe asks, lips still skimming over yours as he questions it.
“n-no.” you shake your head, bottom lip pouting out, making rafe lean in to kiss it. “why?”
“because i want you.” rafe smirks. he's used to your excuses. tired, headache, need to shave, need to eat, anything to get out of it.
“oh!” your eyebrows widen. “yeah.” you press yourself closer to rafe. it's been a long time since you felt the rush of lust for him, since he's treated you so sweetly, talked so candidly. no sign of anger or resentment hiding in his eyes. “yeah, i want you too.”
“good.” rafe moves you to the bed. his hands work effortlessly as his mouth distracts you, pulling at your clothes until you're naked, all of his clothes still on.
“rafe, let me see you.” you pout, tugging at his shirt.
“no, let me focus on you, princess.” rafe moves lower to wrap his mouth around your nipple, giving you full attention while his other hand cups the other side of your chest.
“rafe.” you whine, completely forgetting about your relationship issues, about how you were just thinking of the right time to leave him as he plays with your chest, ignoring your cries and pleas for him to give you more.
“spread your legs, baby.” rafe pushes at your thighs until you help him, spreading your knees apart to present yourself to him.
rafe lays between your thighs, but not before pulling his shirt off, granting you your wish of having him at least get closer to the state of undress you're in.
“such a pretty pussy baby. gonna give it so much lovin’, it's what you deserve.” rafe rubs your inner thighs, eyes locked on your wetness. 
“what has gotten into you rafe?” you let out a breathy laugh, starting to get slightly suspicious of how sweet he's acting.
“just wanna appreciate my lovely girl.” rafe moves closer, inhaling your scent before his tongue licks through your wetness.
you fist your hands in the sheets as he focuses in on your clit, knowing nothing gets you off faster than him sucking at your most sensitive part.
“rafe, oh my god!” you squeal. it's been a long time since he's given you head, and rafe is wondering himself why it's been so long since he tasted you on his tongue, moaning to himself as he swipes through what he swears is better than pure honey.
“so delicious.” he moans, the words vibrating over your pussy as he barely pulls away to speak, mouth greedily sucking at your clit, tongue rolling incessantly over it.
“it-it feels so good.” you moan, moving one hand to rafes head, his hair too short to grip onto, but you need the physical connection to him.
rafes eyes slide closed, concentrating on making you cum as soon as possible so he can get inside of you, his cock so hard he has to grind into the bed just to relieve himself slightly, knowing what he is about to.
rafe brings a finger to your entrance, carefully pushing in, knowing since it's been a while that he's going to have to open you up to take him. he immediately picks up speed to match to intensity of his mouth, only stopping sucking to press a few kisses to your clit.
“im-im gonna cum rafe, oh my god!” you let out a squeal, back arching off the bed as he works you until your high breaks through, legs clenching around his head, thighs pressing in but rafe doesn't let it deter him as he works you through it, only stopping when your whine from the oversensitivity and push at his head.
“gotta get inside you.” rafe pulls away, making sure to remove his finger carefully. he reaches over to the bedside table, grabbing a condom, knowing you won't notice the small hole pressed through the foil as you breathe deeply, recovering from your orgasm.
rafe tears the packaging open, standing up to briefly pull his pants and underwear off, sliding the condom over his hard cock, smirking when he can tell precisely where the small hole is. no way you wouldn't get pregnant, and then there is no way you'd be able to leave him.
“how you want me baby?” rafe asks. he knows his preference. to turn you over and have you on your hands and knees, ass presented to him.
“like this.” you open your arms up, wanting rafe close to you.
he nods, draping himself over your body, lips covering yours as his cock presses against your entrance, sinking in with a low moan.
your arms wrap around rafes shoulders, keeping him close to you, your chests pressed together as he lets you adjust for a moment, his cock pressing against your walls.
“god, ive missed this.” you mew out.
“gonna work on treating you so much better.” rafe says, a look of seriousness overtaking his features. “you're mine, baby.” he finished his words with a thrust. “all mine.”
--
“rafe!” you finally manage to shout out. you hear his footsteps pounding up the stairs, entering the bedroom and then finally the bathroom where you're hunched over the toilet.
“baby?” he questions, kneeling next to you, hands moving carefully.
“it's my stomach.” you groan, pressing a hand to your abdomen. “i must have come down with something.”
“yeah.” rafe nods. “im gonna get you a water.” rafe has to leave the room, he can't let you see him celebrate your morning sickness when you don't even know the true cause yet.
--
“when you get a minute…” your hands are wrestling with each other behind your back, trying to control your nerves. “i need to talk to you.”
rafe smiles. surely you must have had a suspicion yourself and taken a pregnancy test. surely that's what you must be holding behind your back.
“i have a minute right now.” rafe stands up from his desk, crossing the room. when he goes to place his hands on your shoulders, you take a deep inhale, not even meaning to retreat yet you step back into the doorway.
“baby?” rafe questions.
“im pregnant.” you blurt out.
rafe tries to control his excitement, tries to mimic shock before he pulls you into a hug, feeling how tense you are. “baby, that’s so exciting! oh my god, we are gonna be parents.” he takes your face in his hands, pressing a kiss to your lips, even though you don’t really reciprocate. “you’re gonna be the best mom ever.”
“i… i have something else to tell you too.” you feel tears fill your eyes, not stopping them from flowing down your cheeks. “i was gonna break up with you.” you let out a sob, burying your face in rafes chest as you continue. “i was gonna break up with you until i took a test and it came back positive. i’m so sorry rafe, i never wanted to leave i just thought-”
“hey, shh.” rafe strokes your back gently. “the past is the past. this baby will bring us together, okay? we are gonna be parents, happy, in love parents. thats what matters.”
you nod, snuggling into rafe as he kisses the top of your head, glad that you can’t see the smirk on his face, his plan executed perfectly.
taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart @pradabambie @tobesolovelysstuff @alexiskirkland @rafestar @brioffthegrid @juniebugg @magicalyoura @cokepewpsii @mysticallystilinski @luvdella @aerangi @folklorsweet @yourenogoodforme @auryyz @mayhem-72 @thestarlithideout
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kittyhazelnut · 2 years
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I am LOSING my MINDDDD
#so i tried to go to bed at 8:30 but my cat was in my bed and i didn't want to bother him so i went back downstairs#i tried to sleep on the couch downstairs at 10ish and the air was really cold and dry bc of how that room is positioned and I couldn't#so now im back in my room (my cat's under the bed so we're good in that sense)#AND MY CHEST IS DOING THAT STUPID GROWLING THING AGAIN UGHHHHH#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP WHEN MY CHEST IS VIBRATING AND GROWLING AT ME#not to mention that my fever went away for like three hours today and then came back and I'm pretty sure I've got a fever rn#even though I've been taking advil or Tylenol every two hours so it SHOULD GO THE FUCK AWAY#and now my face feels like it's going to light my pillow on fire#which is the very reason i finally gave up trying to sleep after 6ish hours of lying in bed last night#god fucking dammit#and ofc I still have my flu symptoms like my super sore throat that makes it painful to talk or swallow and my super congested sinuses#i not going to survive this stupud flu i stg#covid was so easy it was just a sinus nightmare and i had a killer headache but at least i got to sleep 16 hours a day#I've probably alept six hours in the last two and a half days#and this is the first time ive felt even kinda vaguely tired (despite taking melatonin every night)#at what point do i literally turn the shower on super hot and sleep on the bathroom floor i stg#i can just put a sign on top of me so if my parents find me they don't think i just passed out or something#/j#but like. is it really.#because i did take a shower last night and then i did take another at 6 am just for the hot steam and it really did help#hghhhhh#if im back on tumblr in the next hour I've failed
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redcherrykook · 1 month
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── ˙✧°📷 𝙥𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚! 3 (𝙏𝙥𝙖𝙛𝙡 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙗𝙗𝙡𝙚)
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Drabble three! of Torn pictures and frozen lenses couple!
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content: fluff, comfort, period pain, crying, cuddles, Jungkook being a softie
note from cherry: i'm obsessed with this couple rn and i got my period today soo thats the inspo.
I need to be held by koo so bad :,(
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8 full hours of Jungkook working go by extremly slow on days he wouldn't be seeing you in the hallways,
This morning you'd stayed in bed due to feeling sick and dizzy, he let you sleep with a kiss to your forhead
The drive back home, all he was looking forward to after a long exhausting day was seeing you, quietly winding down together
Instead, he'd open the door to you curled up on the couch, stuffed hello kitty clutched in your arms,
"Baby?" He sighs, swiftly taking off his shoes and coat, crouching down in front of the couch
Upon further inspection on your bundled up form, you laid there in his hoodie, tears streaming down your pretty, sleepy face
"hey kook" you sniffle, wiping your tears with a small smile,
He knew exactly what was wrong, all the signs pointing towards it,
"Come here..my poor little lady, your period came right?" he speaks into your hair softly once managing to get on to the couch, pulling you into his lap,
His head nuzzles into your hair, big palms stroking your back, pressing you against his chest
You nod, completely burned out from the pain of your cramps, reaching all the way to your lower back, the pouding headache you have only worsening from having cried so much
"Its alright, come on i'll hold you"
"i missed you" you sniffle again, pressing your head into his chest and inhaling his sweet masculine scent
He humms, "i missed you too, its so boring without my favorite bad student" joking at that, he knew full well how much you improved, having spent hours together
He did miss you though, a lot
However, from the sound of your increased sniffling he could tell that this wasn't the right time,
Not at all
"you think im so stupid don't you?" you cry softly into his chest, feeling so overcome by anger and sadness,
His heart clenches a little; guilt quickly catching up to him
His hand moves to the back of your head, caressing your head so carefully,
The other one lifts you by your chin, making you look at him through sad teary eyes
"Shh i´m sorry baby i´m sorry.. i didn´t mean it, i was just joking. You're so smart baby.. i´m sorry" his gentle voice is accompanied by the many kisses he places all over your face
A small but sincere smile creeping up to your face immediately
"Hmm okay" you giggle and he smiles too, squeezing your cheeks between his thumb and index finger
The rapid change of emotions almost making him giggle aswell,
What a cute mess he has got.
"Come on, let me get this pretty girl into bed"
quickly you're clinging on to him like your life depens on it, with a kiss to your temple he lays you down into the comfy, pillowy sheets,
Wrapping his arms around you from behind to sneak his hands on your lower tummy, pressing and caressing there to sooth the pain with pressure,
"Thank you kook" you say, stoking his arm,
He responds by placing a kiss to your hair, then moving his head down to rest on your shoulder,
"Did you eat? Want me to make you a nice sweet treat?" his suggestion sounds so good, not haven eaten all day because of feeling genuinely sick, too dizzy to even do anything other than to lay down,
"Couldn't yet.. but, please do.. that would be so nice" you hum, turning your head to kiss him lovingly,
He takes the kiss, smiling into it while continuing to massage your lower tummy,
"let me take care of you pretty, just lay here and look cute while you wait" he winks, hugging you tight and pressing a last, long kiss to your lips before standing up from the bed
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mariasont · 5 months
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Date Night - A.H
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a/n: i have been so obsessed with the nanny recently so this is kind of based off that
masterlist
‧₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧
pairings: aaron hotchner x nanny!reader
summary: you get home from the world's worst date
warnings: none i think, IDK IM SO BAD AT THESE
wc: 0.9k
To put it quite frankly your date sucked. He was disrespectful to the waiter, made really unsettling noises while eating, talked incessantly about his ex, and worst of all, he didn't let you get a word in edge wise (a major issue because you really like to talk).
Saying you were disappointed would barely scratch the surface. The rarity of your dates, thanks to your demanding role as a live-in nanny for Viriginia's most occupied FBI agent, made your free time all too precious. Mr. Hotchner was home this weekend, which granted you some time off, well-deserved you might add, but you had wasted it on some sad excuse of a man who made you believe that chivalry really was dead.
You had a clear mission when you entered the house: to drown the evening's disappointment in a generous pour of red, slip into your comfiest pajamas, and indulge in trashy reality TV, which, by comparison, casted your night in a much more flattering light. You were beginning to accept that maybe, you were meant to be alone, only because men sucked.
You all but threw your jacket into the closet, kicking off the pumps that had spent the night punishing your heels, and bent to rub the throbbing pain, releasing a sigh steeped in disappointment.
"You're home early."
Your heart leapt to your throat, hand flying to your chest on reflex as you whirled around to face the sight of Mr. Hotchner lounging in the armchair, a whiskey glass cradled in his hand. The light from the lamp beside him served to accentuate the shadows beneath his eyes, no doubt caused by his job. So, what he was doing up was beyond you.
"Geez, Mr. Hotchner, are you trying to give me a heart attack here?"
A mock frown creased your face, and you sauntered over to his chair. You settled on the armrest beside him and smoothly relieved him of the glass, taking a small, savoring sip. Annoying him was one of your favorite pastimes, one that was all too rare with his usual absence.
"So, what's the occasion? Waiting up for me?"
He wasn't amused, clearly, his face unchanging. With a deliberate motion, he took the glass back, taking another casual drink, and despite his stern look he didn't move away from you. His eyes shot you a sharp glance, withholding any spoken response.
With a light tap on his shoulder, you hopped down from the arm of the chair.
"It's okay, you don't have to say it. I can read you like a book," you tossed him a wink, your dress flirting with the edge of modesty at the quick action. His eyes briefly betrayed him, moving towards the expanse of flesh now on display. "Ahem, Mr. Hotchner, my face is a little higher."
You gently nudged his chin upward with your finger, guiding his attention to your eyes. You loved his eyes, a cocoa brown color that reminded you of rich, velvety chocolate truffles, a comparison you were pretty sure had slipped out when he interviewed you.
"Careful," he cautioned in a low murmur, easing himself from the chair and setting his glass aside. "As your employer, it's reasonable for me to be concerned about your well-being, you are the woman who raises my child."
"Oh, absolutely, sir. Your concern is most reasonable and duly noted," you replied with an exaggerated formality, lightly tapping his cheek before neatly tucking your hands behind your back.
He traced his brow with his fingertips, as if to smooth away the beginnings of a headache, undoubtedly brought on by you. A sigh of exhaustion followed. "I trust I don't need to remind you of who signs your paycheck."
With a beaming smile, you sing out, hands moving to rest on your hips. "Totally clear on that, sir!" You turn and head up the stairs, your mumble just loud enough for him to catch, "A little raise wouldn't hurt though, just saying!"
He's close behind as he warns in a low voice, "Don't push your luck."
You stop so suddenly he almost stumbles into you and you feel his hands steady you on your hips, dangerously close to the curve of your ass as you glance back at him.
"Oh, I wouldn't dare, sir."
A slight shake of his head and those perceptive eyes convey all he doesn't say as his hands fall away, the space they leave behind feeling oddly empty. 
"So, the date didn't go well?" he asks as you reach the top of the stairs.
"No, I didn't say that. It was wonderful, perfect actually." You'd always been a terrible liar, and naive for thinking he'd fall for it. "He might just be the man of my dreams."
He gives you a look that tells you he sees right through your bullshit. "Let me guess, he probably ordered for you without asking, talked over you, and didn't even bother to walk you to your door."
"Uh, no, that's not--," you start, voice squeaking slightly. His unimpressed look makes you fold--something you found yourself doing way too often around him. "Okay, fine. But really, using those weird FBI skills on me? That's playing dirty, Mr. Hotchner."
"No 'weird FBI skills' required," he replies, the slightest smirk gracing his stupidly handsome face. "Your taste in men is just... consistently interesting."
"Interesting is better than non-existent, which I believe is the current state of your dating life, Mister."
He moves closer, the narrowing space nudging you against the wall. "Well, considering my days are filled with work, parenting, and apparently, babysitting you, dating isn't exactly a priority."
He was kind of hot when he was mad. His eyes narrowed at you. Okay, not kind of, definitely hot when mad.
"Oh, Mr. Hotchner, it sounds like you need a night off from all that babysitting," you purr, placing your hands on his shoulders as you grace him with a smile. "Why don't we discuss your options over dinner? My treat?"
A sigh of exasperation escapes him, a telltale sign that he's done with the conversation, which actually is how a lot of your discussions end. He steps back and opens the door to your room. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Mr. Hotchner, see you in the morning," you say, your hand pausing on his arm just a beat too long. "Sweet dreams--though I'm sure I'll be in them."
taglist: @hotchhner
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bombuni · 5 months
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contains: poly!ateez x gn!reader, soft ateez taking care of u, non-verbal and self-isolating reader, implied depressed/chronically ill reader
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you: babies i think it’s better if you don’t come over tonight
joong: Everything ok?
minmin: but im hungry and u said u’d make dinner :(
woo: WE’RE HUNGRY!!! OM NOM NOM
you: just not feeling it tonight. sorry
You shut your phone off with guilt weighing in your heart. You had promised your boys a nice home-made dinner after a hard week full of non-stop practicing. You knew they’d been looking forward to it the entire week, the stress-free time they’d get to spend with you, but, there’s a pit in your stomach that’s been growing the past week and now it’s big enough to stop you from doing anything else but wallow in your thoughts. Now the guilt just adds to it.
There’s times when you don’t have energy for anything. Not even for your favorite people on Earth and it’s simply your body’s fault. At least you try to tell yourself that.
There’s no response to your last message and you sent it an hour ago. Usually you’d be suspicious about the lack of whining and bickering, but you’re just too tired to worry as fatigue fogs your senses. You’re set for a night of self-pity when your front door unlocks, myriads of voices barging in and breaking the calm of your apartment. You already feel a headache coming on as Wooyoung, like usual, argues about whatever hill he’s chosen to die on.
You want to get up to greet them, but somethings stopping you. The pit in your stomach almost weighs you down, your limbs too heavy to move now. You sigh and surrender to your body’s fatigue.
Seonghwa watches you with a sad look on his face. He knows all the tell-tale signs of your sad ruts by now, the most obvious of all being when you go out of your way to isolate yourself. It hurts him because he wants to help you, but he‘s not quite sure how to do it right with you.
“Sweet thing,” he coos quietly and lays a gentle hand atop yours, “how do you feel?”
His attention turns a switch on in you, feeling yourself melt against his soft touch and caring voice. You shrug, feeling a loss of words. You don’t really have any to describe how you feel. Or rather, there’s a boulder in your throat stopping you from even attempting to say anything.
Hongjoong and San walk over, the latter immediately scooping you up into his arms despite Seonghwa’s protests. Hongjoong leans over the back of the couch, carding his fingers through your hair and tutting at the state you’re in.
“You’re not getting rid of us that easy, you know,” he mumbles.
San looks right at you even if you won’t meet his eyes, trying his best to communicate the worry he has because he knows words don’t work with you when you’re like this. Seonghwa flicks San’s forehead, pulling a loud noise of protest out of him, “Aren’t you supposed to be helping in the kitchen?”
San responds by pulling you tightly against him and closing his eyes in bliss. Seonghwa grumbles something about disrespect, but walks away to help in the kitchen himself. It’s starting to feel a little warm with San’s irresistible need to touch you and Hongjoong’s eyes not once leaving your form. It gets unbearably hot when you feel Mingi’s lips against the crown of your head, Wooyoung doing the same and immediately jumping into gently scolding you for pushing them away.
Hongjoong wants to agree but he knows it’s not what you need right now. He shushes Wooyoung, “Did you take your meds yet?”
You shake your head. Yunho walks up to you, bending down to hand you your medicine with a kind smile on his face. He takes your hand in his when you swallow your pills, kissing each of your knuckles gently, as if he fears scaring you away.
“Here.” Yeosang passes you a glass of water. There’s eight pairs of eyes on you and you can feel each one. It’s like they’re watching a zoo animal on display and you’d laugh at the thought in any other circumstance.
Jongho stands across you, intently staring you down, “You know you can’t just expect us to leave you alone, right?”
San pulls your head into his chest and throws protective arms over you as if you’re a kid getting a scolding, “Don’t be mean.”
Jongho is about to retort before Seonghwa stops him, “Ok! Ok, what Jongho means,” he kneels down next to Yunho with a gentle expression aimed at you, “Is that we want to help you, sweetheart. And it’s hard to do that when you don’t allow us to,”
Yeosang scratches at his neck as he finds the words, “We know it’s hard for you to do that, but…”
Hongjoong continues for him, “We’re just asking that you try at least. Okay?”
You hesitantly nod into San’s chest and you feel him let out a sigh of relief. Wooyoung speaks up from behind you, “You’re hogging ‘em, Sannie,”
He shakes his head violently and hugs you tighter, “No ‘m not.”
Mingi grimaces, “You totally are.”
It’s all-out war again and your body shakes between theirs as each one tries to take you for themselves. San’s still got a good grip on you as Yunho, Seonghwa, and Jongho fight to pull him off of you. Wooyoung and Mingi stand back and argue with San, really the only thing they’re good for. Hongjoong and Yeosang grimace and watch the events unfold, only waiting to step in if they notice you get overwhelmed.
But you don’t. You feel warm and loved and happy, and there’s a bubble of laughter forming in your throat and surpassing the boulder that was stuck in you before. You’ll take it one step at a time, and they’ll take that step with you.
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bom note: this is for the gays with chronic fear of being emotionally vulnerable. i tried to make readers issues as vague as possible for u. Also realistically i would not want 8 men all up in my space when im in one of these moods but it’s fantasy ok shhh
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ciaran · 2 years
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one thing I've noticed among autistic (and otherwise mentally ill) people is that they seem to have a low threshold of tolerance for discomfort. this perception occurs because they seem to hit their limit very quickly in challenging situations. but a lot of autistic people are actually very dissociated from their bodies a lot of the time, and so a lot of background discomfort, stress, and bodily signals go completely ignored until they enter the visible range and immediately become unbearable. whereas if you're less detached from your body you're aware of what it's telling you, but you can mark it for later attention and ignore it now. ime autistic people seem to jump straight from being indifferent to food to hunger-induced headaches but obviously they've been needing to eat since before that without realising it. and it can take a long time when you're dissociating constantly to figure out how to read your body's signs of hunger or discomfort before they blow up to needing instant repair
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sunsh1n3s · 8 months
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— make it up. ( don hume x reader )
a.n. nurse reader is inspired by bedside manner by snappleapple on ao3. i’m studying to be a nurse and the idea was cute when i read it, so credits to them for sparking my interest :)
contains. fem!reader, swearing, sick fic, also very long i apologize i couldn’t stop writing ideas
“boys, this is your nurse, y/n. she will be here during majority of the practices if you have any pain or anything concerning to your performances. please go to her, she’s kind, she doesn’t bite.” coach ulbrickson spoke, gesturing to y/n who walked forward.
the guys couldn’t help but check her out, the action didn’t go unnoticed. y/n cleared her throat and stood next to bobby. “like you listen to your coaches and bobby, you will listen to me. anything i instruct will be beneficial for your performances and health. trust me with what i have to order, i’ve been doing this for two years now. i’ve been here longer than you guys have on the team and im in medical school, i know i have an idea with what you deal with.” she spoke.
stern, pretty, and kind. it took the guys’ attention, and like every year; they would try and flirt with her.
throughout the ongoing practices and races, y/n was seen beside the coaches. she spoke with them on training and things to heal the team, or work their muscles. she had her own small room alongside the coaches, and the boys always hobbled their way to her. along with the cries of sore arms and sprained muscles, calluses, and headaches; flirting that never touched y/n’s heart followed.
bobby stood in y/n’s office, watching as she wrapped his hand. “has anyone given up on trying to woo you yet?” he asked. the two were bonded due to the years bobby had been there, and her main focus on the varsity boys. “nobody has given up yet- but one hasn’t even dared to try.” y/n informed. bobby and y/n shared a look, “don. he hardly talks, let alone to girls.” bobby teased while y/n snickered.
“they keep asking me if we’re together.” bobby rolled his eyes, making her laugh again. “jealousy over their own cox. i’ve heard that story before.” she joked. letting him go, bobby stopped at the doorway. “i think donny is pretty head over heels though-” “oh get out.”
shaking her head and cleaning up, y/n looked back out the window and saw don walking into the locker room. bobby’s words came to mind, but she couldn’t. it was her team, her patients, she wouldn’t.
for the next months, don didn’t hear the end of it when bobby caught his stroke staring at the nurse. eventually the boys stopped because they noticed their quiet guy head over heels. it was new, and boys will be boys, so they never let don’s crush on her down.
so when it was time to get her for the train to berlin, don was the one to get her.
placing her two suitcases on her bed, y/n packed for the quick and eventful trip; clothes, uniform, accessories, and whatever she needed for schoolwork. her medical boss had packed a bag of necessities, knowing once they signed her as the nurse for the team, she’d be set with whatever else she needed.
y/n wore her uniform to match the guys’ professionalism. though she preferred her comfortable clothes, she wanted to look nice.
a knock at her door stopped her from her packing, “come in.” she spoke softly, turning to the door once it opened. she didn’t expect to see a guy, let alone don hume. it took y/n by surprise that don hume was upstairs, surpassing a strict dormitory director and several girls; just to get to y/n’s room.
“hello don.” she greeted with a soft smile, folding up the last of her clothes and placing them in the suitcase. “hi.” he said, slightly awkward. he stood with his hands behind his back, not knowing where to stand or sit. y/n looked at him again, “go ahead and get comfortable. who’d you fight to get in here?” she questioned. she closed her suitcase and started getting to the other, adjusting the books and case for her writing utensils.
“i didn’t have to fight thankfully. ms stevens is stubborn though. uh- we wanted to share with you- uh a hat. the guys and i- since you’re our nurse.” don said, moving his hands forward to show the hat that matched their uniform. y/n looked at it and smiled at him, “oh that’s so sweet. thank you.” she thanked. he nodded and handed it to her.
“what’s medical school like?” don asked, sitting awkwardly at her vanity chair. y/n smiled, “it’s interesting. i enjoy it. i think because i’ve always wanted to help people. but with now my grades excelling and everything, i get to help you guys. i’ve had to learn a new course to treat you guys. i’m practically a physical therapist alongside being a nurse.” she spoke.
she walked over to her heels and put them on, walking in front of don. “how do i look, mr. hume?” she asked. she turned to grab and put on the hat before posing for him. don was breathless and she smiled softly at him. “beautiful.” he spoke. she beamed, “thank you.” she said, shocked at how much the compliment touched her heart.
there was another knock at the door, both straightened and y/n finished packing. coach ulbrickson walked in, looking at don with slight question but brushing it off. “y/n, you ready?” he asked, checking his watch and looking at her softly. y/n nodded, closing her other suitcase and grabbing her medical bag.
“hume.” coach motioned, don realized and quickly yet gently grabbed her suitcases. she smiled at him and they followed coach out of the girls dormitory.
little cheers from the guys came down the hallway once they noticed don with the suitcases, causing him to go red and for y/n to shake her head.
boarding the train was a hassle, y/n and don rushed in. reporters yelling questions about the two at them, and girls giving glares at y/n. “god i’m just a nurse!” she yelled out the door. y/n turned on the balls of her feet and walked down to a train seat. she placed her bag in one bench and don placed the rest beside it.
y/n turned to him, “thank you don, i owe you.” she said. he shook his head, “nah you don’t-” “i insist. i’ll make it up to you somehow.” she spoke. he couldn’t argue so he nodded and bid his goodbyes. y/n relaxed in her quiet evening as they traveled while he returned to the guys; getting teased for being a gentleman.
he returned later to see her asleep, she was bunched to keep warm. don frowned and retrieved a blanket for her, his blanket. she dealt with eighteen boys daily, and soon nine in a new country. she deserved rest and comfort.
that night, he slept cold while she slept comfortable and warm. he could care less.
berlin, something new for the team. the ten students and coaches followed directions and ignored reporters. questions were shot at the coaches and y/n.
they all were led to their rooms, y/n was farther from them as she was placed closer to the hospital wing. the guys watched as she left with a few nurses and settled into the atmosphere, speaking butchered german and following a doctor.
they all settled and don became exhausted.
the next morning, he felt terrible. he was too tired to go to the introduction. “i’ll get y/n.” tom spoke, letting ulbrickson and george make sure he was alright. the boys parted ways as her heels clicked through the hallway and into the room, wearing navy dress pants and a blouse to match them- she had planned to walk out with team, but her plans now changed.
y/n had her bag and stethoscope and everyone watched as she gently checked his forehead. “no fever. i’ll watch him, you guys go and be with the team.” she spoke. george insisted on staying back, “go george, support your boys.” she spoke softly. he left and y/n turned to don, “hey donny, what’s going on?” she asked.
“just tired.” he spoke, closing his eyes as she touched his face and neck. “anything sore?” she asked. he hummed, “muscles, but not like practice soreness. heavy soreness.” he spoke. y/n nodded, she helped him change and laid him down in bed.
y/n packed her things and was ready to leave. “can you stay?” don asked, she looked at him. his hand reached out for hers, “yeah i can, i’m sure the boys will be back soon.” she said. y/n placed a chair next to his bed and his hand was still stretched out as he dozed off, she held it gently and looked out the window.
the coaches returned and y/n walked out to the hallway to talk with them. “he has a low grade fever. one he can work through if he continues to rest tonight, he said he has muscle soreness but it’s heavy. the fever is hitting his body hard because he works it enough. it’s eating at his existing exhaustion, so i’m just keeping an eye on him. is there any demand for him for the rest of the night?” she informed, leaning against the wall.
the coaches looked at one another, “not until tomorrow. is he contagious?” ulbrickson asked. she shook her head, “he’s not coughing nor sneezing. the boys should be fine, we just keep monitoring him in case he gets worse. i gave him medicine to kill the fever, so he’s okay right now.” she explained.
the next day, don had to compete with the boys to make it to the final race. y/n watched with the coaches, they stood on the boarding dock and she watched as ulbrickson spoke to them. she walked down once he was done, “are you guys feeling okay?” she asked, the eight nodded. her eyes went to the ninth, who sat tired. she walked over, “you got this don. just push through and before you know it you’ll be able to rest. how are you now?” she asked.
he shrugged, “decent.” he answered and she nodded. she shared a concerned look with bobby, bobby gave her a reassuring nod and she got up and returned to tom’s side.
they all prepared to watch the boys race; as hoped they won.
y/n checked on don before leaving to go to the hospital wing. he was decent, but looked tired. his assurances to y/n didn’t fool her. so she beat everyone to it to report his illness.
sure enough, as she spoke to a doctor, the coaches rushed in. they brought don in where he was checked up on by doctors, they prescribed him medicine and couldn’t put a diagnosis to what he was sick with; but gave y/n what she needed. the coaches left with the doctor to move the rest of the boys.
a doctor returned to the room with ulbrickson, “he can stay with me. i’ll watch him and if he’s contagious i can try to get it out of him and send myself home to prevent risking anyone else’s health.” she spoke, resting a hand on don’s shoulder. she knew what she was doing, and the doctor trusted her, so they agreed.
the boys didn’t have any urge to tease don amongst one another, but they knew it’d be something they brought up in the future.
with a bed across from her, y/n helped don into bed while she unpacked his things alongside hers. “thank you.” he spoke, quiet. “no need to thank me, it’s my job.” she said softly, walking to him. “you didn’t have to do this though.” he continued. she smiled softly, “i know.” she answered.
overnight, don got worse. he threw up after practices, y/n found him sat next to the toilet in the middle of the night. she watched as he became pale and thin, and he watched her worries grow.
the night before the big race, he sat on the bathroom floor while she wet a cloth. “y/n you’re gonna get yourself sick.” he spoke, she kneeled down and wiped his forehead with the cold cloth then rested it on the back of his neck. his eyes closed and she retrieved medicine.
“i can leave early if you’re better and i’m sick.” she stated. he looked up at her, the way the light hit her made her look angelic. “we’re lucky to have you.” he spoke, he wanted to say im lucky to have you, but his nerves stopped him. he was afraid she’d stop and leave him there to suffer, only because he admitted he was just as infatuated with her as the rest of the guys were.
she crouched in front of him with medicine and water, “and i’m lucky to have you guys. especially you.” she said, watching him take the prescription. his hands shook in pure nerves as he handed the cups back. “why me?” he asked. “you’re kinder than them, yeah they’re nice and one is my good friend. but you make me feel normal, not some big deal because i’m a nurse to eighteen guys.” she explained.
y/n sat beside him, and he looked at her. “plus you’re cute, and talented.” she added, watching him go red with a bashful smile. “you’re brains and beauty, how lucky am i to have you as my nurse.” he spoke. she blushed now, letting out a soft laugh. don smiled once she did, and he felt better just by that.
“if only you weren’t potentially contagious and throwing up, i’d give you a big kiss.” she admitted. don fought his nerves, “you can make it up to me later.” he said. y/n blushed and bit back a smile, she couldn’t respond and felt like they swapped places. all she could do was intertwine her hand with his. “you have a big day tomorrow, let’s try and rest.” she gently said.
she helped him to bed and rested a cold cloth on his forehead. y/n slept lightly that night while he slept through the night calmly, she was just happy to see him not wake up until morning.
the olympics came and y/n stood with don at the dock. he looked down at her with some nerves, she smiled at him lightly. “push through. i believe in you. america does too.” she added. she kissed his cheek and let him join the guys, he smiled and they all jokingly nudged him.
“thanks for getting our don happy and moving.” bobby thanked her, smiling and winking. y/n waved him off and smiled, “good luck bobby. yell at him if needed.” she said.
the coaches watched with y/n, the race was remarkable. y/n watched bobby spark don back up, and they pushed towards first place. it was a questionable ending.
y/n paced on the dock, waiting for the answer. ulbrickson watched ahead as the man walked to the microphone; everyone went silent as he held up the photo. “america.” he declared. cheers roared through the stadium and the boys cheered. y/n smiled and joined ulbrickson and tom, who watched proudly.
they all watched the boys pass the wreath, which they brought back to her and picked flowers for her as thanks for everything. thanks for taking care of their boy. hugs were shared and don stayed back. “how are you feeling?” she asked him. “like i could spend the rest of my life with you.” he said, boldly. the statement took her aback and she smiled, “i won’t ask you yet, but let me take you out first.” he added.
the boys cheered, knowing he was going to ask her to be with him somehow. y/n blushed, “i’m yours.” she responded. they shared a smile and returned to the team. the boys teased don all their way back to the rooms.
don sat in his bed, exhausted. y/n walked up to him and checked his forehead. “olympic winner.” she smiled, which he returned. “i won when i got to share a room with the brains and beauty we call the team nurse.” he admitted, nicknaming her the brains and beauty.
y/n beamed and couldn’t stop herself, she kissed him softly and he tensed. yet he relaxed at her touch and pulled her close, taking in the moment. she pulled away and he was blushing, smiling, and scared. “i’ll be fine, i had to make it up to you.” she assured.
— j’s note. this was super long, but i’m sure you guys don’t mind. i hope you enjoyed, and i hope to write another sometime soon! i’m busy with school and some mental stuff, but once i get ideas i’ll write you guys more.
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