#im rambling but i had to try very hard to be normal about it in front of people and this is the blog where i dont have to be normal about it

[incoming-wormhole]

Gosh I was at a writers meet up today and we were talking about TV shows when someone brought up Stargate SG1 (BC my friend has just started watching it with her daughter) and I had to sit on my hands and gently correct all the things they got wrong, pretending like I'm very normal about the show

[miya-rin]

“what the fuck do you two think youre doing?”

shit, you think, you didnt notice the balcony door had been slid open until you heard the voice of one of your brothers. you start to pull away from suna’s lips which earns you a small whine from his end, his grip tightens around you and honestly it its quite cute the way he is trying so hard to savour the moment. “come back later, we’re kinda busy.” the boy mutters before trying to move your face away from the distraction so that he can kiss you once more.

“suna you get your hands off of her right now, i dont give a fuck that its your birthday.” osamu pipes up, he looks furious and a little bit disgusted, if it hadnt been for the situation youre in right now you would think its kind of funny.

“samu lay off him, it was a mutual agreement, im just as guilty as he is ok?” that does not seem to help the boys understand, if anything they seem even more angry with you both.

“what the fuck do you mean it was a mutual agreement? are you two hooking up or something? yn he just turned 18 a few hours ago are you forgetting that?” atsumu says, he is rambling on with every excuse he can think of as to why this is “so wrong”, from the corner of your eye you can see suna trying so very hard to hide the grin that is creeping its way onto his face, his hands still all over you despite the fact that you arent alone anymore.

“listen, it was his birthday wish ok? i swear it didn’t mean anything,” sunas grip begins to loosen ever so slightly, “i just though it would get him off my back and get him over his little crush on me.” suna’s facial expression shifts but you choose to ignore it, you have bigger problems to deal with at the moment.

“no this is not ok, how would you feel if me or samu kissed one of your friends because it was their birthday wish?”

“that’s different, why would my friends want to kiss either of you?”

“excuse me? ill have you know that many women want to kiss me! and dont think youre getting off the hook either suna, ill make sure you never-“ you dont even want to hear the threat that is about to come out of his mouth, you just want to get out of this shitty situation.

“boys please, just give us five minutes to talk and then we will be back inside ok? i promise.” your efforts to plead with your brothers finally work.

“…fine,” atsumu mumbles, “but this better be a one time thing. im not gonna deal with you two being all lovey dovey around me.” and with that he lightly tugs on osamu’s sleeve, signalling him to walk back inside and continue the party. he closes the balcony door but not before bringing two fingers up to his eyes and then pointing them at the two of you. its a warning.

you turn back to suna and notice the sad look on his face - he looks kinda cute like this, “so, what do-“.

“did you really mean what you just said to them?” the poor boy looks heartbroken, after waiting three years to finally have a chance with the girl he loves wants the moment is ruined like that? “did you actually just do that so i would leave you alone?” his hands fully leave your body now and he takes a step back to put some distance between you two.

“well i mean sort of yeah… ive never looked at you in any way other than my brothers best friend if im going to be honest, i dont know if thats because of the age difference or what but ive never thought we could be anything.” the look of hurt is prominent on his face no matter how hard he tries to hide it, normally playful banter would have been thrown back and forth between the two of you but rintarou just stays silent, an indication that youve fucked up.

“listen suna i dont know what you want me to say, i wasnt really thinking when i said that to atsumu it just came out. i am 4 years older than you and many people would not approve of us if i decided to give you a chance.”

“who cares? i could treat you so right if you would just let me. i have waited entirely too long for this moment, all im asking for is one date.”

“you said that about the kiss too, one thing is never enough with you is it? you always need more.” a playful smile creeps onto your face which is outshined by the one on sunas, he knows that your smile means that you agree to go on a date with him.

“i really hope you arent fucking with me right now, that would be so cruel, especially on my birthday.”

“oh give the birthday excuse a rest now will you? you dont need to keep on at me you have already got what you want.”

“mhm i absolutely have,” he walks closer and once again wraps his arms around you, placing a hand under your jawbone to make you look up at him, “and i couldnt be happier.” he states as he pulls you in for a passionate kiss once more <3

[manisimp]

You need a Cup of Tea?

Hello.Im on my Period right now and did a Drabble.Have fun.

WC: ~1,230.

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Fem! Reader

CW: Period Pain,Insecure Reader.Fluff.Really fluffy.

(Whish i Had someone to Take Care of me Like that)

You we're writhing on your bed, attempting to find a compfortable Position to Rest in despite the cramps in your lower abdomen,but it seems Impossible.You already took pain meds AND cramp-loosening Meds,But to No avail.The endless cramps that dig into your flesh Like hot Cuts seem to only  worsen.You groan in dissatisacftion.Why does Life have to be Like this?

Knock-Knock.

Someones at your door.You frown.Anything but company right now.You Hope they go away when you ignore it,But then you hear him.His voice.

"Y/N,i know youre in there.Let me in."

That voice alone,even with the slight harshness to it,makes you feel a bit better.But only a bit.

You groan as you sit up,crawling over your bed to Stretch to your doorhandle and Open it.You have No strength to sit up.

What you See when the door Swings open is excatly what you expected.Tsukishima Kei,your Boyfriend.He Looks Like always.Beige sweater,Headphones around His neck,And the Sports bag thrown over the shoulder.He probably came Here straight from practice.

But his face is focused,zeroed in on you.You can See the slight furrow of his brow,His hard,almost Distant eyes skimming over your slightly trembling Form,with your own arm over your Belly.And then his eyes find yours,grow less Distant,but still questioning.

"I missed you today.You werent waiting for me after practice."

You feel a pang of guilt.Its Tuesday,and normally,you Pick him Up after Practice on Tuesday.You rarely miss it.And you even forgot to Text him.

You Dip your head in shame.

"im sorry,Tsukki,i forgot-"

You Stop when He tilts your face up with one Finger.

"Tell me whats wrong,Y/N."

His words are Level,flat.Almost.Anyone who didnt know Tsukki would think He was concealing Anger,with how his eyes narrow and and He now Cups your entire Jaw.

You know better.You know thats him careing.Hes trying to figure it out before you tell him.

"M' on my Period.I forgot to Tell you,Kei.Im sorry."

"You NEVER forget."

That hits.Because yeah,you never forget him.Never,Ever.You Always let him know if Something Happens,if you cant come.Always, unless...

"Its bad,isnt it?"

His voice now carries a softer undertone,His understanding of you getting that at that when you even forget to Text him,it must be Bad.

Which it is.

And the sudden Hit of a cramp that makes you fold Forward and let Out a silent groan dosent Help.

You cant do anything but nod.

"Tsukki,I-"

You were intending to say youre fine,that you can handle yourself,but IT falls on dead ears.Your Boyfriend already has taken Control,carefully but firmly pushing you down on the mattress again.

And only a few Minutes later,youre curled around him,His finger drawing Lazy circles in your side as you feel the warmth of the bed bottle seep into your abdomen and a nice bottle of Woman's-Coat Tea in your Hand,both courtesy of him.

"you didnt have to do that all, Tsukki" you say,but Silently very grateful that He did do that all.The warmth of the bed bottle and the Tea actually spread throughout you,making you feel warm and lengths better than what you did Just Minutes ago.

But First and foremost,what helps is him,His Love,His Care.Even if Hes Just sitting There,caressing your Side like Second Nature while Reading His Book -something about Dinosaurs,If you can guess from the cover- even if Hes not cocooning you in Care and touches,you feel cared for.

Because His eyes Dart to yours every so often,checking silently if youre still okey.

Because His Hand Just cant keep Off of you,Sometimes inching to your Abdomen to Check how tense it is,massaging IT gently with one Hand Till he thinks its good.

Because you know,with one ear,He listens to your rambles about anything and everything,even If Hes reading.

Because He dosent leave your Side.

"you seem to really Like that i did that though, judging by how much youre cradling that bed bottle."

He responds,finally, looking at you over the rim of His glasses.

"also,your cheeks have much more colour now.Im doing Something right."

"i mean,yeah,im Not complaining -"

"You are."

"i mean,im not Mad that you did it!Im Just,yk,i wouldve Survived without you doing-that."

He Rolls His eyes and groans silently at that.

He hates that.When you think you arent worthy of His affection or whatever.

He Puts His Book aside,Completly focused on you now.He Turns to face you fully,His now free Hand cupping your cheek,Feeling how warm and flush it is.He let His thumb caress the smooth skin.

"you gotta Stop doing that,Y/N.Its Not attractive"

"Uhm, Tsukki,what?" You furrow your brow.You've Always been reluctant to admit that you are worthy of His Attention and care,and today is No diffrent.If anything,the cramps make IT worse.

"You need to Stop thinking youre not deserving or whatever.Can you do that,Y/N?Just let me Care for you because i want to."

He cocks His head,and smirks.And you already know whats coming next from that smug Expression.

"at least thats what you Always say to me,Sweetheart.'

Tóuche.You do.

Whenever you Care for Kei,and He pushes you away for whatever reason,you insist that he 'let you Love him because you want to.'

Too Bad your weapon now got used against you.You Hiss weakly, suddenly Feeling Exposed.But not in a Bad way.

You desperately Scramble at words,trying to find a retort,but the pain,the painful twist and tug in your abdomen,the suddeness of his words and His cocky grin dont make IT easy.

Before you can even think of a retort,He Laughs.He Laughs,cocky yet sweet,so full of Care,yet absolutely teasing you.

He Looks Back at you,the corners of His eyes crinkled when he Brings his Other Hand to your cheek to,cupping your face.Hus golden eyes sparkle with barely veiled affection.

He lightly squeezes your cheeks in a teasing manner,before he gives your lips a quick peck.

"a realtionship IS a two way road,you know ,Princess?"

He says,His words nothing but true affection that hit you right in the Heart and make you feel all fuzzy inside.You know him,and Moments Like These are to be cherished.They arent often.

"Despite,you Look awful when you're in pain.Much cuter when youre curled around me and ramble Like the usual annoying nerd you are."

And Hes Back to His teasing.You Fake a frown , playfully Hurt by His words.You pout.

"Tsukki,that wasnt nice."

"Well,you arent Dating me because im nice."

You attempt to Roll your eyes,but before you can complete the Roll, your eyes are forced shut by another felt kiss to your lips,Slow and affectionate this time.One Hand of his moves to the Back of your head,tilting it a bit,and your hands let go of the bed bottle to instead cradle him,falling around His neck.

When you let go,you cant Help but Smile happily.

Tsukishima Kei might be teasing,sarcastic and to some, emotionless,but to you,Hes everything you ever needed and wanted.

Youd wouldnt give him Up for the world.

"You need another Cup of tea?"

Note: In Case anyone wondering,Womans Coat is a herbal Tea that helps with Period cramps and various other Things.I Always take it and OT helps a Lot.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

im a trans boy who has grown up with very oppressive religious parents so ive never gotten the chance to experiment sexually or romantically with peers irl, im about to move to the city for college in the fall

(i will be living on campus with two roommates who i haven't met yet and i know basically nothing about, one of them i will be sharing a bunk bed with)

im really nervous about how im gonna do socially.. ive had a really hard time making and maintaining irl friends for like my entire life, which has been really upsetting for me obviously.

being able to experiment sexually is something im really wanting to do and im really really nervous about it, i know that the most straightforward advice is just "talk about it to people you wanna do sex stuff with" but like everything is new to me i havent had the chance to really socialize irl up until this point and now im being shoved into a group of other young adults who all have the prior experience of being well socialized and having complex interpersonal relationships with peers

i also feel extremely insecure about my lack of experience, like is it actually normal for someone my age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter? are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong?? i can't watch porn bc looking at strangers having sex grosses me out!! im pretty sure my front hole is like unnaturally tight?? anything wider than two of my fingers is uncomfortable and no matter how much prep and easing myself into it i do, it stays that way.. and i think my cervix is also lower than most, about 3-4 inches is the maximum that i can insert before i can feel it bump my cervix (which hurts REALLY BAD)

im just so nervous and scared about my own body and personality and all that andi don't know where to look for resources or reassurance. ive never been to the doctor for any kind of reproductive care and im really scared to!!! i live in a state that has completely outlawed abortion rights and im really scared that if i go to planned parenthood or something to get like a checkup that they will be mean and not gentle with me

i don't know, i guess im just looking to be heard and hopefully pointed towards some resources if anyone has any, thank you for the work you do and thank you for taking the time to read my panicked ramblings

hi anon,

there's a lot happening here so I'm just doing a numbered list

1.) man, how did the third guy luck out and avoid the bunk bed? you don't have to answer that, I'm just curious how you guys have already worked out that two of you are stuck with the bunk beds. unless you're into bunk beds (I was), in which case mazel tov.

2.) in the nicest way possible, I think you may be vastly overestimating how "well socialized" other students are going to be. reading between the lines a bit, it sounds like you were maybe home schooled, or at least don't have very much experience mingling with other people your age without adult supervision. I guarantee you every public school in the world is also full of introverted freak losers who rock up to college with no idea of what they're doing; I was one of them. the majority of first year college students are also running around panicking and trying to figure out how to be away from their parents for the first time; everyone is a loser and no one is cool.

would it comfort you at all to know that my day job is organizing events at my office's LGBT student resource center? I spend a lot of time hanging out with queer first year students, and I love them dearly, and they're all cringefail losers. it's unavoidable. every 18 year old is a cringefail loser. every single person on Earth looks back at their 18 year old self and goes "goddamn, what a cringefail loser." and it's fine! it's so normal! that's the entire point of your first year of college! you try things and you're socially awkward and you meet some of the most important people you will ever meet and you meet people whose opinions about you won't matter literally at all and you'll completely change how you think about everything for the rest of your life and you'll think you're going to die and everything will be fine!!!!

anyway moving on

3.) it's normal for anyone at any age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter. I'm assuming you value my insight at least a little, since you sent this, so would it help you to know that I arrived at college as virginal as could be (wildly insecure about it, btw) and didn't have sex for the first time until I was almost 21? would it comfort you to hear from my housemate, also transmasculine, who gave me permission to share that they've never had sex and that none of their life problems really have anything to do with being a virgin?

4.) "are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong??" hard to say, since I don't know what those things are, but probably not. it's extremely hard to get masturbating wrong, no one knows what feels good to you better than you. you're sort of an authority here. masturbating isn't exactly like partnered sex, of course, but it's a really good place to start learning about things that you like and make you feel good.

5.) everything you're describing about your front hole sounds very typical. two fingers is the max number of comfortable fingers for a lot of people, regardless of experience; often, taking something larger doesn't become easier until after having penetrative sex with a partner. average vaginal depth is about 3.6 inches, and while that can increase significantly with arousal, it's something that doesn't generally happen if you're not relaxed during sex. if I can be a bit presumptuous, it sounds like sex and masturbation are maybe a bit anxiety-inducing for you, in a way that is pretty much perfectly contradictory to comfortable penetration. if I can offer you some advice I wish I could give my younger self: calm the fuck down, buy some lube, stop worrying so much about making your body react the way you think it should and learn to appreciate what it's actually doing, and maybe see if your campus has some free therapy options available. anxiety meds probably wouldn't hurt this situation. also stop hitting your cervix if that hurts oh my god.

6.) Planned Parenthood is generally one of the best places to go if you're nervous; they're aggressively queer friendly and tend to be extremely accommodating of patients' needs. I personally do not care for penetration at all and have a difficult time with Pap smears, and every examiner I've ever had at PP has been an angel about letting me take breaks and swear my way through it. it ain't fun, but if you want to have an adventurous sex life you need to take care of the health of yourself and your prospective partners by getting STI tests and Pap smears.

you're so normal, calm down, I love you

[strangestofthings12]

This is going to be a very rambling and venty post cause im tired and annoyed and honestly am just using this to vent my anger/hurt. there is going to be stuff that can maybe be seen as anti tommy/bucktommy (please dont tell me a ship name to put i dont care about if they do have an agreed upon ship name right now) so if you dont want that please just move on. i dont want to fight i just want to yell into the void on a stupid throw away account so i dont bring my negativity stew and come out on my main blog where i just want to enjoy my stuff and just keep happy energy. I dont normally post and try and just find someone who explains it better because im not great and getting what im saying across or understood the way i want, so please bear with me. With that said i will move on to what i want to say

Okay so i have been watching 9-1-1 for years and i love and adore it. Its characters and dynamics and i have always loved found family. Now i will admit that i started watching it thinking that Buck and Eddie were a couple and had a son so i was kinda watching for it. Do i think if i didn't start watching thinking that i would ship them still yes 100%. I have always loved their relationship and i have loved watching both Buck and Eddie grow and start to be happy while also having each others back even at the worst times. Sometimes if i think to hard about Eddie and start crying cause I'm very normal about this show and it characters. Now Eddie is my favorite character in the show and at least in my top five overall favorite characters. I love him and his development and i adore seeing how much he does to just do right by Chris even when he messes up you can tell how much he adores that boy and how badly he wants to give Chris the best life possible. I could write essays about Eddie Diaz trying to explain how much i love him and why and i think words would run out before i could finish making people understand. Buddie is my favorite ship (sometimes second depending on my mood. i would say sorry but Henren and Madney will always be amazing ships and sometimes i just cant stop think about them)(Sorry Bathena i love you too i swear i just cant decide if i wanna kiss athena or be adopted by bobby and athena:( Its confusing) and has been for quite awhile and is one of my overall favorites and its one of my comfort ships.

With that context when bi Buck happened i was so insanely happy and i wouldnt shut up about it. it made me sick. i was so happy for Buck and while i think a part of me will always be a little sad Eddie wasnt his first kiss with a guy i dont think either of them are ready for that. i also understand that it wouldnt make sense for how the story is going right now. Now i have nothing against bucktommy in the show. I have watched the kiss scene and sobbed to much to pretend like i hate them or even dislike them. However I genuinely dont care about Tommy. Hes kinda bland and i forget about him half the time and before they brought him back i completely forgot his name. in my mind he was the one that wasnt as much of an asshole to chim and hen as the other two assholes which wasnt saying a lot. Now I dont dislike tommy nor am i going to act like hes irredeemable because neither Chim nor Hen seem to think hes still that guy and while they dont seem super close they seem to get along so clearly, he's not like that anymore. I have nothing that makes me dislike him nor do I like him. He's just there. He's just the guy buck kissed. Thats all he means to me. I would give up his screen time for Ravi or May or Karen in a heartbeat. because i love them cause they mean something to me. I don't think i thought about the fact that people might actually like him especially not more than EDDIE.

This is where the context matters cause i am to my core a one ship per person girly. I might see a ship and people who like it and even think thats not a terrible ship but i will still only look at content for my ship for that person (ie. i ship Destiel (dont say anything bad about them ill cry<3) but i can see the way someone would also ship Dean and Benny or crowley or Cas and Crowley or Mick but i will ignore the ship and move on and look at more Dean and Cas). normally i will just ignore the ship and move on because im not who its for. If it gets annoying in my tag or anything like that ill block it or whoever is annoying me cause its not a them problem that i dont want to see it. When i start to have a problem is when multiple people arent tagging right for whatever reason or people who are being rude about the ship i like because of their ship. When I started seeing Bucktommy stuff more and more in the 9-1-1 tag i went to the buddie tag cause i dont want to see them. my problem is that when im reading on AO3 and click on a fic tagged Buddie where bucktommy get married. it was literally just hurting Eddie. There was stuff before like id be scrolling though the buddie tag here and see someone saying that Tommy is a better character then Eddie and saying that they hope bucktommy is endgame. Whatever block and move on. Just like always but then people who have shipped buddie for years who ive seen talk about them are suddenly saying that they like bucktommy better. People who started watching because of bucktommy saying they dont like Eddie. People are going to have different opinions but it still bugged me. and then i read that and i was just hurt because it was tagged happy ending and i cannot fathom ever thinking Eddie hurting and pining is a happy ending. So i started to get more annoyed and i hate when that happens especially with a show i love and a character i dont dislike so i tried to just move on but more and more people are taking about it then i saw someone saying that they wanted eddie to die so buck and tommy can have Chris.

I just hate that so many people are jumping on the bucktommy train and saying that they like it better than buddie something that is so good and sweet or saying that they like Tommy more than Eddie. I just dont get it cause Tommy is boring. like yeah we now some about him and he flies a helicopter but hes forgettable he could be a completely different person and next to nothing would have to change. We have seen Eddie at his worst and claw his way back up and hes finally letting himself be open and honest and soft. Eddie couldnt be replaced. Now im not saying Tommy can't be an interesting character but as he is right now?? He just isnt. Hes just as bland as every women (minus Taylor and Shannon) Buck and Eddie have dated and been hated on for no reason!!! Like i get that Tommy is a guy and we got canon Bi Buck and people are happy but those same people turn around and shit on Marisol from what ive seen(I could be wrong cause again i have done my best to avoid). Buddie fans arent safe from that either, cause we all know that Buddie fans do that but so many of those people who hated on them and said they didnt want them with anyone else suddenly decided that they were okay if Buck ended up with any guy. I dont know its just weird and i hate how many people are acting like Eddie isnt always going to be better then Tommy. Part of me wanted Tommy to stick around and help Buck and Eddie figure it all out but now?? i honestly just cant wait for him to be gone cause I want to have fun and read fics for my comfort ship and just chill where i can see all of my ships in the show without buck and tommy being everywhere or people saying crap about Eddie.

I have more to say but most of its about how gratifying waiting and seeing where this whole thing goes(Buddie season 8 PLEASE!!) and this is already why to long and i think im just going in circles and none of this makes sense so ima shut up for now and hopefully this will help it not fester and drive me insane and become a tommy hater

Edit: but i also hate that Tommy calls Buck Evan so he already had some stuff against him rip

[banjopolishh]

AHHH I just found your blog and oml I'm blessed- your writing's incredible!! 😭💕💕💕

If you're still taking Fiddauthor rq's, I'm thinking of like..ANYTHING involving those two getting high (Fidd 100% got high in college and I don't see enough fics about it!!)

Maybe both of them 🍃 and yknow how sometimes you zone out and just do a repetitive movement? (For example I run my fingers along my arm just for the sensation, and I forget I do it half the time, it's just subconscious)

So imagine Ford just like...dry humping Fidds like that- He's rambling on about whatever, and just absentmindedly rubs himself against Fidds. I dunno, just a thought that came to mind 🤭

Anywayssss love your writing, thank you for feeding all of us ~☆

this won’t be written super put together .. it’ll be a tad messy since i myself am high!!! >0<

————-

“Hahahaha! Ohhhhh my god, Fidds. You’re crazy!” Stanford burst into laughter. His college roommate; and crush, Fiddleford, was hitting 3 joints at the same.

“MMMMM!!!” Fidds’ mouth was filled with smoke; he breathed it in quickly and blew it back out. A huge mushroom cloud hit Ford’s face.

“WOW! Fiddleford, you’re so good at this! How’d you take in so much?” Stanford was impressed by Fiddleford’s ability to intake so much weed, his eyes were incredibly red afterwords.

“I just..do it! It’s taken some practice, but yer gonna be a natural if ya stay with me!” Fidds laughed; passing one of the joints to the handsome brunette across from him.

“God.. you’re going to kill me, Fidds” Ford took the joint from the man he so desired. He took a big hit - sort of trying to impress Fiddleford. The smoke he blew out was thick.

“Look at ya go, Stanford! You did amazin’..” Fidds’ was genuinely impressed , then, Ford started coughing hard.

“OHMYGOD. part of me thought i was going to die, is that normal?” Fiddleford laughed at Ford’s inquiry, he thought it was cute.

“Yes, yes! Very. You’ve got virgin lungs!!” Ford rolled his eyes and took another quick puff, making it a point to not cough this time.

“God.. im definitely.. starting to feel something.” Immediately Fidds knew Stanford was high; you could see it in his puffy red eyes! Could this man get any cuter?

Ford began inching closer to Fiddleford’s face, causing him to blush and look away.

“What’re you doin’, silly..” Fiddleford felt extremely vulnerable , he was high as a kite. Ford was on his way there as well.

“Did you know, I find you extremely attractive? I also find your wit to be very enticing. I’m surprised you don’t have a girlfriend, Fidds.”Stanford kept inching closer to Fidds’ face, eyeing him down as if he were the last human on earth.

“What? Stanford…I don’t want a girlfriend. It’s just.. not my thing?” The young mechanic’s face was tomato red, and he was fidgeting with a button on his shirt.

“Then.. what is your thing?” Ford was intrigued, he wanted to know every single thing Fidds desired. Stanford wanted to be one of those things.

“You.” Is all Fidds could get out, his mouth moving faster than his mind. God, he felt crazy even admitting this to Ford. What if he got rejected, or worse?

All his worries melted away when Stanford grabbed his face, and kissed him. It was a passionate kiss; one filled with love and warmth. A genuine kiss.

“Mm..” Fiddleford kissed back, absorbing every bit of the man in front of him. He felt like he was on cloud nine. Suddenly, Ford pulled away for air.

“Do.. Do you want to be my boyfriend? I know that sounds childish, but I truly-“ Fidds pulled him back into the kiss, a nonverbal way of saying; “Of course, idiot.”

Their kiss became more passionate, Ford was going mad. He crawled onto Fiddleford and began slowly grinding on him. Rubbing their clothed dicks together.

“God.. I remember when I first saw you, you were crying.. ready to go home.” He began grinding harder - almost as if he didn’t realize.

“You’re so pretty, Fidds.. I knew when I saw you, you had to be mine. You’re just so smart.. you figured out the universe is a hologram? Come on, you’ve got such an amazing mind.” Fiddleford’s eyes fluttered - this felt so fucking good.. and the praising? He could cum right now.

“Ford..you’re so.. ah..so, so, sweet. Thank you for believin’ in me, I’ve always - fuck - felt so alone..” the friction in their pants was making them both so close.

“Ha.. Fiddleford, never, ever, let anyone treat you like you’re nothing. You’re everything, everything to me.” Ford thrusted harder, chasing his release.

“Fuck! Ford.. ford.. im- im going to.” Fiddleford felt himself release into his pants, the weed making it all the more easy to cum.

“Metoometoofuck.. Mmmm!” Cum began dripping down Ford’s legs, his shorts not holding much.

The two sighed, Ford wrapped Fidds up in a tight hug, both of their legs shaking in pleasure.

——-

i got so tired I couldn’t write a good ending .. so here’s that!! they definitely cuddled and ate snacks though! and yes they stay boyfriends hehehehwagahahah

YYSM FOR THE REQUEST

[butchlesbianmike]

Tower Tarot System Headcanons (Mike & his system)

Under the cut are my detailed headcanons for mike, his backstory, and details about his alters. Note that i've changed some 'canon' stuff and added a few new alters.

TW: There will be mentions of Parental Abuse such as neglect and implied physical and emotional violence. There will be mentions of Sexual Abuse relating to Mike & Vito.

Keeper

• System Aware • One of the main Gatekeepers. More of a state of consciousness than an alter. Not sure how to explain it even as a system myself but basically more of a concept and a fragment? It is not really an alter that another alter could just come up to or interact with. • Was created by the horrid neglect and abuse endured at the end of the system's mother which from a young age made clear they would not be able to function without amnesic barriers separating states of consciousness/ego states.

Lucia:

• 5 - she/her - System Unaware, became dormant until Mike went to therapy. She then became system aware. • Alter i created for their system. Sarah is a child alter and technically the first host the system had but quickly became a rarely fronting part due to varying traumatic events between the ages of 3 and 5. Her age got frozen around 5 years old. She also stopped being host at that age after a harshly traumatic event. • System is unsure if there are other parts younger than her, she is the youngest identifiable host.

Chester:

• 56 - He/Him - System Aware - One of the gatekeepers • Split off around 4. • Introject of their grandpa on their mom side. Very important to Sarah and was very kind and took good care of the system.Their mom was incredibly neglectful and their grandpa is basically who raised them. Their mom cut contact with their grandpa after a fight between them. • Losing their grandpa alongside the constant abuse now worsening from being around their mother more did lead to a split. • Chester appears very grumpy because they found it funny whenever he would go on rambles and complain about silly things to them but also because they were hardly ever allowed to express negative emotions or frustration around their mother and so Chester became a part that held a lot of those negative emotions they didnt feel safe expressing.

Svetlana (Went by Lucia) :

• She/They - Ages with body - not quite system aware, notices things but very much normalizes them. Becomes system aware once Mike gets a girlfriend and also starts exploring gender. • Split off around 7 when their mom started signing them up for competitive gymnastics. (They were already doing gymnastics before, but competitive only started at 7). • Main cohost for a long time. Helped Sarah and Lola with learning gymnastics and handled competitions due to their mother being incredibly abusive during tournaments and competitions. • She wasnt really aware she was cohost, she felt like this was her life but she kinda saw it as like.. "oh i just feel more like myself in my element! Gymnastics is just really important to me and its where i thrive everybody say they have masks depending on if theyre at school or at home or with friends!! I guess my mask just comes off when im doing gymnastics :D". • She thought that the Russian accent was just a bit she was very dedicated to and what helped her 'get in character' for competitions. That it was just her trying hard to be like those russian gymnasts they really like on TV to feel more confident. • She always felt uncomfortable with being infantilized and felt much older, but everyone around them would say they have an old soul so she assumed that must by why. • She discovers she's a lesbian around when the body's age is 14. • She is one of the alters alongside Vito who causes Mike to realize something isn't adding up and reach out to try and get therapy. • Did not like Mike's girlfriend and actually really disliked being referred to as a guy. This was actually a main source of conflict between her and Mike and another reason Mike started feeling something was wrong because he realized that the dysphoria he got seeming more masculine or being perceived as more masculine didn't feel like it was Actually Him. • She often would be very distant and even cold to their girlfriend because she realized that they were a system and that she wasn't Mike and that actually his girlfriend was hurting them. • After therapy and system work and being acknowledged as her own alter, her relationship with Mike got a lot better and they agreed on keeping some feminine stuff for her to wear whenever she's front. • Actually really likes Zoey and tries really hard to hint that she also likes her. She and Zoey actually start dating too.

Lola (Went by Lucia):

• She/her - 10 - system unaware until she stopped being host. She became system aware when the body was 12 and that she got yonked and became more of an internal alter and very very rarely ever fronted again. She was under the care of Manitoba and Chester in the headspace. • Another system kid and previous host, she handled life from 6 to 12. • She and Svetlana were really fronting together almost all the time and switching between eachother frequently, although rarely experiencing blackouts more than greyouts. • While she was a host from ages 6 to 12, she stopped aging in the headspace at 10. • A huge part of this was due to how rocky elementary school was. They were changing schools left and right and it was really hard to keep up with all the constant changes. Around 10 she lost one of the only friends she had managed to make and due to their already fragile state, this was distressing enough to halt her development as an alter in itself. Svetlana mostly started being the main host from 10 to 12 although Lola was still there and at least cofront a majority of the time. • Starts fronting a bit more after Mike starts doing system work (Body age around 17).

Mike:

• He/They - Ages with body - First Host to become system aware. • Split off around 12 due to stress bcuz the system moved in with their dad because their mom no longer wanted to be responsible for them nor pay for their highschool necessities. • He became host because he didnt carry much of the traumatic memories related to their mom, didn't have system awareness, and was fairly functional with school and with their dad. • At first he had it a lot better than previous hosts and was one of the most stable host for a short while which made it that switching didn't frequently occur except here and there or when triggered due to x y z. • That changed about 8 months after him being host. A month before turning 13 he started figuring out that he had a crush on a girl and might be a lesbian. • Not only that but also started getting a lot of gender dysphoria, even feeling uncomfortable with a lot of his clothes and even pictures of him in his gymnastic outfits and competitions. • Nothing much came out of the crush except heartbreak which did kind of shake things up for the system. Mike felt things very profoundly and the heartbreaks of feeling like he would never find love because he likes girls destabilized the system a bit which led to more frequent switches- especially at school to continue functioning with the classmate mike had a crush on. • Around 14 Mike finds out more about things identity wise and starts thinking he might be a transmasculine butch lesbian, but isn't sure of himself because he feels his identity is very shaky and constantly changing so he settles on being genderfluid. (This confusion is mostly caused by Svetlana who also is discovering she's a lesbian btw). • At 15 is when the big bad happens for Mike. He gets his first girlfriend who happens to be older and more experienced than him. She sees him as a trans guy, even though he tries to explain he isn't. She is very forward and sexual to him, which freaks him out. She is constantly trying to see his chest and fetishize him especially when he's binding. • At 17 after a long time seeing a therapist due to the previous events, he found out he was a system and has been doing system work with his therapist for a year now. This is the same year he signs up for total drama.

Manitoba 'Jones':

• He/Him - 21 - System Aware • Split off around 13. • Introject of Henry 'Indiana' Jones from specifically 'The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles'. • Chose the name Manitoba to distance himself from his source, although he finds high comfort in it. • System Historian / Internal Helper. He also frequently takes care of the syskids and takes them on adventures in the headspace. • Very rare for him to fully front but he likes to come sit around front whenever anyone watches action movies. • Is actually the one that handled breaking up with Mike & Vito's girlfriend because neither of them felt like they could and when he figured out what was going on he got very protective.

Vito:

• He/Him but later on uses any - 18 - System Aware • Split off around 15 because of Mike's girlfriend of the time. • Split off as a sexual protector and hypersexuality symptoms holder. • Sexualizes himself a lot because it makes him feel in control and desired. Feels like because 'hes a guy' it means he has to like and enjoy it bcuz thats what a real man would feel. • Gets triggered front everytime anyone in the system loses their shirt because of it creating dysphoria and PTSD. • Was actually the most heartbroken when they broke up with their shitty ex girlfriend. He loved her a lot and saw himself as her boyfriend more than Mike did, even if he knew deep down she wasn't good to them. • Is the alter that, alongside Svetlana, made Mike realize something wasn't adding up and start talking to a psychologist and getting therapy. • Started unpacking a lot of his relationship but still holds a lot of the system's hypersexuality symptoms and has a weird relationship to gender as he feels like his 'gender' as a 'guy' is affirmed through having withstood their ex' abuse and 'enjoying' it. • He is actually nonbinary but it takes him a while to figure that out and only really figures it out AFTER total drama.

Mal:

• He/She/It - Ages With Body - System Aware • Persecutor/Misguided Protector. Split off during total drama all stars. • Mal split off with the belief that to win the game you have to be selfish and self preserving and manipulative. • He feels that Mike is "Too soft" and "Too kind" to survive let alone win the game. So he decides to play it by 'their rules'. A rule that Mal perceives to be the only way to make it through. • Due to splitting off with the belief of needing to replace Mike, she actually looks very similar to him in the headspace and while she doesn't like it she finds it very easy to imitate him and sees it as a way to protect the system by imitating Mike to win the show and get everyone away. • She thinks Mike is too 'naive' and 'trusting' and Mal sees that as a weakness others in the show will exploit and abuse so he decides to distrust everyone including the people who the rest of the system feel are safe like Zoey and Cameron. • It doesn't come from a serious place of malice more than a maladaptive coping strategy where Mal is in constant survival mode and unwilling to let his guard down in case the system gets hurt and he KNOWS that its bound to happen being part of total drama. • This is reinforced by the fact that Mal split off with memories concerning their ex girlfriend and knows how deceiving people can be, especially seeing how some of the people on the show have tons of red flags that reminds her of Mike & Vito's ex. • He tries to protect the system by constantly trying to force herself front and by betraying people and playing 'the villain' so that no one will hurt them and that they have more chances to win if they're the one to strike first and he lashes out and gets angry when the system calls him out for it because he doesn't understand why they dont see what he sees. • After a lot of therapy and help from the system and Zoey and Cameron, Mal unpacks and unlearns a lot of the harmful ideas she split off with and also starts exploring herself outside of 'Total Drama'. A lot of her identity is tied as 'Mike's only hope to survive total drama' and its a lot for her to work through. • She gets on much better terms with Zoey later on, but it does take a very long time to build up that trust between them even if Zoey understands where Mal was coming from.

[trauma-bot]

ouuuu i need the lore... i love selfships so much.... nuze lore please.... if you want..........

YAY YAY YAY. im gonna try so hard to keep this somewhat brief to leave room for any more questions but we'll see how that goes <3

so to preface this E does have a toyhouse bio that you can look at if you're curious! it has a more in-depth look at his personality and whole deal. you can also look at his gallery if you'd like; thats where his references and other artwork for him are stored!

ALRIGHT. RAMBLING UNDER THE CUT

a lot of it is very much to fulfill my weird convoluted fantasy of "what if i lost all hope for a future that i exist in and was convinced that i was going to succumb to the claws of my trauma and rot there forever (basically dooming myself in my own narrative) thus becoming the absolute worst version of myself in what i believe to be my final moments only for someone (two someones in this case) to love and believe in me so much that, despite it all and despite everything that was done to me and that ive done myself, gives me enough hope to undoom myself". i'm normal i swear.

also just generally im a big big sucker for stories about survivors of trauma being there for each other, and in that way i get a lot of comfort from nuze.

SO. NUZE LORE... (once again shout outs to my bestie night for coining their ship name lol)

i guess ill break it down like this, starting with N/E. (alt. ship name being pupE love (coined by another bestie of mine charlie)) E knew N back at the manor and they were close friends then, N was the first person E came out as trans to (by that i mean. N helped E work through his tumultuous robo gender feelings in real time) and N was the only one E really felt comfortable around. (other than tessa! E was also friendly with V back then as well<3)

however, E was also badly traumatized by his time in the manor, and of course Canon Events happen. E, as a disassembly drone, is now much more muted, detached, numbed, and devoted completely to their directive. he's very very very repressed and his specific brand of memory issues as well as the fucked up memory dreams causes him to dissociate and spiral a lot. he also distanced himself a lot from N for reasons even he isn't entirely privy to. something in his hardwiring just told him that N would be safer the less E stayed with him. and N is!!! really saddened by that!!! its normal! E has to learn to not be an emotionless object and actually let himself feel and need and yearn, and N is a big help with that (uzi is as well ofc!!)

i have to skip past a lot of things for the sake of not making this post so many words long but regardless; N/E is really special to me because they are two people who are in a very similar and scary situation and have had to see each other get hurt or even killed in many clone instances in many reset memory files. and its the just. the willingness to love despite knowing what happened to you and even witnessing it at times, to say "this is not all we are" and break free from those iron chains despite knowing how much it'll hurt and how dire everything is. E is so convinced that its all worthless and he couldn't be anything more than what he's used for, while N desperately wants a better life for himself and those he loves, and he's gonna drag E kicking and screaming to hope and healing. <3

NOW. UZIE :3 (alt. ship name is angelfangz)

E is MIA from the squad until like right after episode 3 canonically happens and is found by uzi and N. uzi does not trust E at first not one bit LMFAO. she doesn't hate him but like. her only frame of reference for murder drones besides N is V and J. and also E is like. he's weird and says weird cryptic things and is not exactly the easiest to talk to due to how off-putting and repressed he is. at first E is like "why is there a worker drone. in the spire. and we're all okay with this" but after actually getting more context behind Everything he's curious about her more than anything. he has to be swayed into betraying his initial directive (kill all worker drones. yknow) only because thats like all he knows how to do and would feel aimless without it, but once he is he's loyal to his new directive (help uzi figure out what the hell is going on with this solver business). yeah he treats himself like an object that can only find worth in being ordered around but we dont have time to unpack all of that right now. he unlearns it later i prommy.

uzi is like. spitefully resistant to getting to know E on a deeper lever, but this is uzi "no bonding thing" doorman and she cannot help but care about E and be concerned about his behavior. she will notttt admit that however and stubbornly holds her ground. it isnt until post-episode 4 when E and uzi are fully vulnerable around each other.

uziE is. so so very important to me. uzi has been outcasted and isolated for so much of her life, she's been treated as a weirdo freak monster by her classmates and becomes outwardly prickly and aggressive to cope with how little affection and reassurance she's been given. i know she's internalized it to mean there is something wrong with her that everyone else can see, and its only a matter of time before those who actually care for her see it too and leave her. and i know that the events of episode 4 confirmed it in her mind, that she is a freak monster and everyone was right to avoid and hate her, even though she never asked for any of this. thats a very familar feeling to me- and by extension E. E recognizes the feeling of being made into a monster against your will, of fearing and being unable to trust yourself, and of feeling like its best for everyone's safety to hide away. E and uzi find solace and comfort in each other for that. they dont see each other as broken irredeemable monsters, so maybe they aren't.

im stopping here because holy shit this got long but THERES A LOT MORE LOLL. tldr nuze altogether is very very important to me and i could talk about them forever and ever. they love each other all so much and they grow and heal and forgive and aaaaughhhgh<3 im normal.

[theminecraftbee]

ok so idk if you’ve answered this before but anyways,, i really love the way you write horror!

i read stuffed bird for the first time over a year ago now but i still think about the world you created on a regular basis. i rarely read au fics and it’s even more rare for me to remember them for an extended period but seriously, no joke, this is about a stuffed bird might genuinely be one of my favorite fanfictions of all time.

anyways, shameless fanboying aside, i actually wanted to ask if you had any good tips with writing horror? im a huge fan of the genre and have always wanted to create something myself but i have no clue where to even start. i feel like every idea i have is either weirdly cheesy or just unauthentic. so yeah, do you maybe have some pointers on how to get over that first threshold of not being “good enough”? or maybe just sharing what goes into your creative process when you write your stuff?

anyways i’m sorry for rambling, you’re really cool and i hope you have a good day. happy halloween!

oh goodness, thank you! i'm so glad you liked stuffed bird, and read it despite not normally liking aus! that's a big compliment!

as for the "how to write horror" tips. okay so first: it's gonna feel a little cheesy. the thing is that when you're writing it, it's gonna be less scary to you. you're going to go "well this is just silly/inauthentic/absurd" and you're going to feel like "well surely this can't scare people" and you've gotta push past that. you've gotta push past that to "well what about someone who DOESN'T know i'm trying really hard, what will they think of it?" and that can help you out a lot.

my second tip is... you've gotta know when to show the monster and not show the monster. like okay you're going to hear that things you don't show the audience can be scarier than those you do. and that's TRUE, but sometimes also you do really want to show the audience the thing. it's all about "what will cause the correct kind of impact in this moment". so, uh, example, most of the stuffed bird monsters i only describe a few aspects of, not the whole monster, and that's because the audience can fill in a scarier description than what i can come up with. however, i still describe what i personally think are the scariest/most impactful parts of the monster! because in order for it to do the thing i wanted i still NEEDED some of the gorey/horror description, i just couldn't try to perfectly describe every inch. this goes especially for horror that relies on physical description/gore actually; if you know when to show the gore, you can make it have impact. if there are certain things you describe in detail and certain things you don't, it will tell you stuff about your characters, AND it will make both of those things have more impact for the audience! so i guess that's one of my big horror tips.

my other big horror tip is that a lot of horror is emotional. doing things that reflect your character's mental state can really help sell whatever you're trying to make scary! this can both work in the "if your character is scared" sense and in the "if your character is NOT scared" sense--for example, if you are describing something scary is happening, but your character has a very happy/lighthearted emotional tone, that's one kind of scary, but if you're describing something scary and your characters are terrified, that's another! and it's useful to know when to use which.

okay and the last tip: don't worry about being "not good enough" just write what you write and post it! you will never get better without practice. the main way my horror ends up working is that i keep writing it, i think; if i never wrote horror, i'd never get used to writing horror, and it would never get scary. plus, you will be your own worst critic. get yourself some friends to help cheer you on, and then just go for it!

this is a lot of paragraphs ;-; but i HOPE IT HELPS!

[stars-mischief]

hey

what does it feel like, knowing you're neurodivergent? i keep looking into different habits i have and it's something i think about a lot, but i always just feel more broken the more i look

so what is it like? and how do you know for sure?

;; angst beneath the cut

[ he goes silent for a moment, debating how to best approach this scenario ]

...

[ he looks up at the anon and speaks ]

well, it's different for everyone, i suppose.

for me, especially in the early stages of my life, it was really isolating.

as a child, i never really "fit in" with the people around me. i mean, void, i didn't have many friends until i was 18 years old.

though most have grown distant.. since i moved to the valley..

i couldn't understand why i didn't fit in. moreover, other people seemed to notice things about me and were very abrasive.

they.. they didn't like how i was different, i suppose.

i felt different, too.

no matter how hard i tried, no matter how much i wanted them to like me, they.. they never did.

oftentimes i'd watch someone else say something and i'd notice how their jokes always seemed to land. so, i'd try to strike up a conversation. only to be met with strange looks and sideways glances, as if i somehow said the wrong thing without realizing it.

it.. it was really disheartening.

there were times in my life when i found myself thinking: "why am i not like anyone else? why don't i fit in?" and, eventually, i convinced myself that there must be something wrong with me..

so, i decided that i would "fix it".

i carefully watched other people's behaviors and mimicked them as if they were my own, all because i thought that if i was more like them and less like.. me.. that they'd actually want to be my friend.

i found myself following the trends just so i could have the slightest thing in common with them, even though it didn't make me happy or i didn't enjoy the trends that much..

eventually, i began to morph into a dull, "normal" version of myself. or, that's what i was telling myself, anyway. in truth, there are points in my life where i look back and.. i don't recognize the man i see.

but it didn't matter. i convinced myself that, if people didn't like me for being different, then i wouldn't be different ever again. i would like what they liked, i would crush any undesirable behavior, i would become normal, even if it caused me to lose myself.

...and, it did. for a long time.

it didn't help that, while i was going through this, another crisis occurred (transgenderism beam). i never felt more confused in my life. and, no matter where i looked, no one seemed to be able to relate to my experiences. i felt completely and totally alone.

i hate that feeling.

...

so, a few years pass and im still masking almost constantly.

its exhausting, to say the least. but i kept it up.

i have never truly found a place where i felt like i belonged. i was always the "weird" kid, i was always "different", i was always "too much". but, i wanted to find that place so, so badly..

so i forced myself to hide any interest that was deemed "weird" by other people, i forced myself to hide how happy and passionate these interests made me. all because i wanted people to like me.

and, they did, i suppose.. i had what i always wanted; people liked me and didn't think of me as weird or a freak.. so why wasn't i happy?

i could never figure that part out and i was too exhausted from the constant masking to try.

...

anyway, i manage to make a few friends during this period of time (mainly by sticking to their interests and only mentioning things i knew they liked)..

and, i began developing an interest that was different from theirs.

it was something that i was super passionate about and it brought me immense happiness every time it was mentioned.. plus, my brain was craving some dopamine. all those years of wearing the exhaustive mask were.. well, talking a toll.

i didn't think much about it at the time and began happily rambling about this new interest.. but, this person, whom i considered a really good friend, absolutely hated it. and they hated me, too, i would later realize.

i guess i got a little too carried away while talking and, without realizing, the mask slipped away. i was just so excited - i had to share this interest with one of my favorite people, you know?

but.. it didn't exactly end up that way, huh.

this person.. ah.. they blatantly insulted one of my passions and then proceeded to call me annoying (among other things) for talking about it, or even enjoying it.

i took it to heart, i suppose..

void, it even still affects me - nearly five years later.

i.. that interaction.. it made me feel incredibly self conscious.

now, whenever i find something i'm passionate about, i tend to enjoy it silently.. by myself.

i feel that, whenever i say more than three words about something that interests me.. whoever i'm talking to will be put off. that they'll find it annoying and tell me to shut up. and i'll be nothing more than i was all those years ago: a scared little kid, all alone, dealing with this confusing world.

i never want to feel like that again.

i don't want anyone else to feel like that, either.. which is why i make a conscious effort to remember everyone's favorite things and ask them about their interests..

it's absolutely awful having someone you care about be so rude and dismissive about something you enjoy...

...

but, to answer your question, i don't think there is a defined way to "know for sure" - at least one that i've found..

you know, it's crazy, but people who aren't neurodivergent seem to have a "second sense" for finding those who are and, subsequently, they choose to be complete and utter assholes.

just because someone is "different".

but you don't deserve that, no one deserves that.

despite what everyone may think, being neurodivergent is not a bad thing.

it's amazing. it allows you to understand things differently than traditional methods, it allows you to enter periods of hyperfocus and do things that (typically) take a week in one afternoon.

you are not broken. you will never be broken - not to me, anyway.

you are amazing and perfectly capable and so, so worthy of love and should be able to express yourself without feeling like you're doing something wrong.

oftentimes, being neurodivergent can feel like, no matter how hard you try, the world seems to reject you and your efforts. it wants to squish you down and remove the individuality out of you. it wants you to become what they see as "normal".

please, from the bottom of my heart, don't give in. don't let them make you into what they want to see or what you think will please them..

it's so, so exhausting and it takes years to remove that mask and unlearn the behaviors. sometimes you can't unlearn them, though.. and they haunt your mind and fill it with self doubt.

yeah, it's scary.. and isolating.. and overwhelming sometimes.. but when you're in your element? when you're surrounded by supportive and like minded people? when you find the place you truly belong? it's amazing.

um.. anyway..

...

i hope this was insightful.. but, like i said, everyone's experiences are different.

[cassyapper]

Transmasc Jotaro questions:

If/when did he get top surgery?

Did he ever go through the overwearing shitty knock off binders phase?

Is he a t gel or t shot type of person?

YAY THANK U SO MUCH FOR SENDING THESE IN DUDE AHH <333 it means a lot (":

i think jotaro is actually a no-op trans guy for most of his life!! so no top surgery </3 even though i've drawn him wit the scars cause i do think he'd like the look of them. he's a guy who values his privacy even when it comes to doctors and since he passes well without operations anyway due to the natural high amount of testosterone i think every joestar has (even cis women like holly or jolyne), he's just not concerned with getting out there to get an operation as much as he is with keeping his affairs to himself. plus i can't see him having a super big bust size in the first place since he canonically did track and was a runner when he was young, which is, er, let's say, not friendly to ppl with big busts (no idea how hermes did it 😭 that had to have hurt). so i think he just views it as not worth getting, esp cause i think he has more bottom dysphoria than top. BUT ANYWAY, because of this:

indeed i think he wears a TON of knock off binders. just absolutely awful about vetting where he's getting his shit if he even vets it at all, even as an adult. he just dgaf. do not follow his example. also i like to pretend one of his binding methods was those fucking magazines which was the real reason he was wearing them (at least around his chest) when dio tried to stab him LOLLL. but he definitely bruises his ribs more than once this idiot

and last but not least, despite the naturally high amount of testosterone that i think he had normally, i do think star platinum steals t stuff for him esp when he first manifests and is trying to get on jotaro's good side LOL (this is also where jotaro gets his first good binder, thank you splat). so i think jotaro has tried both t gel and t shots but he's very autistic so i think he HAAAAAATES the feeling and smell of the gel so he sticks with shots whenever he does it from then on (he's very like. he doesnt have an actual prescription he just steals shit with star plat so he's very on-off with it, at least until he notices the bottom growth and boom gender euphoria, so then he sticks with it as a proper routine)

this is pretty rambly im sorry if im hard to understand at points, but thank u sm for asking!! <3

[naphthine]

ugh i think about NWP everyday...

the fact that theres NO WAY he didn’t think about Junko during the creation of it kills me, especially since its essentially what he did with Ryoko. ESPECIALLY when their conversation about the sandcastle, its implied that a half of the reason he became a doctor was so he could cure junko if anything happened to her. And considering how hajime was able to be "saved" from his boredom with the NWP implied that junko could’ve been saved too.

maybe its a good thing he died so early on, i dont think he would’ve been able to handle the idea that he could’ve saved her.

(also i love talking about dr0, i eat up any discussion, even if its CRUMBS0

matsuda just trying.... so hard... to save her... uwaa. loss is something that blankets him so closely and he tries so hard to prevent it from happening to his own detriment... yuta having said he often spends nights in his labs.. his disheveled appearance.. his determination pains me especially knowing how it turns out ..... (＞_＜)

i cant help but think that despite everything, he was one of the characters who Had the most hope. he kept moving forwards to achieve his goals and didnt let grown ups stop him or the school or (as much as he could) junko.. i remember when hes talking to the steering committee hes mentioned as thinking hes finally found his chance to protect junko which kills me because everything he did before that point he didnt even know if it would work. he poured all of his time into the NWP and his research and trying to save junko from herself and he didnt even think he had a chance to actually make a change but he Had to continue anyway. he had to have hope even if he didnt have anything else and it was that culmination right until the very end where it was mentioned that he truly, truly lost all hope. if i think about this further i will CRY

and gosh not being able to handle the concept of Actually being able to save her is so destroying because imagine if he did. but he poured so much of himself into saving her that even if she did recover, matsuda... really wouldnt. be himself. he spent so much time in textbooks and his own head and neglecting himself he never really got to be a human. never got to have a childhood and do kid things. never really got to experience things as a normal person should, and if thats so, would he even be able to be 'human' with fixed junko..? but would he be able to openly show affection and go on dates? hes buried those emotions for god knows how long. im rambling. here. nothing of substance but like. yeah you can save others from themselves but can matsuda save himself?

[patchiko]

What are your thoughts on Jason from Three Jokers?

particularly for me, his emotional dependence is so big just because he confused things with the Barbara

3 JOKERS SPOILERS !

tldr; i ramble a little abt how i hate modern Jason fucking Todd and highlight how much justice this comic did for him

and how modern writers are just trying to turn him into a batfam insert of deadpool

Yes! I dont think Jason had 100% feelings for Babs, like he said, he thought it could work. It definitely came from a moment of weakness/vulnerability, its often that Jason doesn’t get cared for too often, not in the way he needs. So when Babs let out a hand for him, it hit him HARD. Especially with just being traumatized by the last two jokers, I think its pretty obvious he doesn’t need someone to clean up/watch after him but like need someone to generally emotionally guide him.

my personal pet peeve with most modern Jason Todd canon ships is the laziness of it(b4 i get criticized i think ANY ship with ANY CHARACTERS can be good as long as the writings GOOD and makes SENSE) . GOD NO- i dont ship jason and babs, but they still put an odd amount of effort into it, to at the very least actually flesh out their characters.

Jason doesn’t need a character that fixes his mistakes when he’s overly impulsive, or babies him, or fixes his mistakes with a veil of ‘Your so dumb but i secretly care about you!‘ because then it leads to most of lazy writing where he does something stupid but his gf is here to fix it! so its ok! NO!! HES NOT LEARNING ANYTHING!! YOURE MAKING HIM LOOK STUPID AND MENTALLY BRAIN DEAD!! anyways sorry.

Jason needs someone to break him out of his cycle of impulsiveness and self-destruction, not have him indulge in it.Jason needs to go fucking soul-searching or something im so tired of his ass— REALISTICALLY I COULDN’T DATE COMIC!JASON IF HE DIDNT CHANGE,, HE WOULD FRUSTRATE ME RLLY BAD.

ahem. anyways. I think Jasons note shows a lot about his character and something that the modern writers ignore a lot. Jason CAN change, he just needs a reason, a solid reason to. He doesn’t have to put down his code, or the guns, he just needs someone solid to really make him think about himself. “All I need is one chance to you I can be better. And I will devote my life to making you proud. Happy. Loved.” WHERE IS THIS SWEETHEART RN?? I SWEAR EVERY OTHER WRITER IS MAKING HIM A EMO FUCK-BOY WHOS BRAIN MATTER GOT SUCKED OUT THROUGH HIS COCK?? ahem sorry.

I really love how much DC actually puts details into Jason in this comic. Ex. Jasons helmets abilities being highlighted, “Helmets registering multiple security doors opening across the facility.” OR him saying the chronic pain management book was helpful. SORRY— I REALLY ENJOY DETAILS LIKE THIS. It just makes Jasons technical skill and such more obvious then whats normally stated. Also Jason tracking sea water off a wrench to the Aquarium— where is this skill in more modern comics?? I swear they make Jason a braindead wannabe deadpool sometimes i swear to fucking god. Also him shooting the shark tank so it eats Gaggy— I DIE FOR DETAILS LIKE THIS.

They don’t even get rid of his humor in 3 jokers either, he still has a really well displayed personality and his banter with Batman is really bearable for once, it makes sense and its well written. I slightly dislike how hard Babs is being on Jason but i’m not 100% sure what Babs is like. I haven’t read comics centered around her, so I don’t mind it. Also dont mistake this for me disliking babs for rejecting Jay— thats not what i mean at all. Just her constantly saying how he’s a criminal and focusing on getting him in prison like he’s an opp was confusing 2 me..

anyways stop trying to turn red hood into the batfams deadpool challenge!!

inbox is open 2 yap or requests sum!!

[tacticalkinky]

Spooky Sexy Halloween

Tags: cosplay, oral mention, femme!reader, cod mw2, ghost

A/N: hi guys im back! I wanna keep most of this one a surprise so if you read past this, buckle up! I hope it makes up for the absence! Also this is gonna be a little shorter because i’m having a bit of writers block.

You look out the car window. It’s not completely dark but it’s getting there, with a violet hued sky that has orange tones making the vibes of the atmosphere more…spooky. You adjust yourself in your passenger seat, grabbing your gas station fountain drink from the cupholder and taking a sip. Simon is driving you to a Halloween party that Chan is hosting. Chan being your lifelong bestie, of course.

You’re sat in a gorgeous red evening gown, sequins adorning the entire fabric. Although your ankles ache, you have gorgeous red pumps on and long purple gloves to complete the costume. The long, red hair on your shoulders frames your dramatic makeup making you none other than a classy, humanized Jessica Rabbit. You adjust your hair and fix your lipstick. Simon watches you do this and tries to hide a silent smirk. You however, are very observant.

“What are you smiling about over there?” You ask, your eyes staying fixed on your passenger side mirror as you drag the lipstick across your lips. Simon rolls his eyes. “You should know by now.” He teases. You raise an eyebrow at the response. “Oh yeah? Well then remind me because I must’ve forgot.” You respond. Simon clears his throat and lays his hand on your thigh while maneuvering the car. “I’m smiling because I have the most breathtaking, most gorgeous, most exciting woman I’ve ever been with sitting in my passenger seat of my car.” Simon dotes, his lips curled into a wider grin. You would normally whine an adoring sound, but you knew that grin better than he did. A moment of happy silence happens, broken by your next words.

“If we had just met, I’d probably believe you. But I don’t. What are you REALLY thinking about?”

Simon laughs really hard, causing you to laugh as well. You both giggle so hard your chests hurt, then keep laughing each time you look at each other until Simon speaks again. “Okay, you got me. I’m actually thinking about taking you out to eat later.” Simon finally admits, his hand creeping up your thigh. You were caught off guard by the apparent mention of food, so you immediately light up with excitement. “Oh! Where? There’s a new Chinese buffet I actually wanted to try if you-“ you excitedly ramble, until you feel a tight squeeze on that soft spot between your thigh and crotch. “O-ohhh…” you moan, gripping his wrist to desperately help yourself control your mini orgasm.

Simon glances at you and notices how hard it is for you to contain your composure when his hand is on that sweet spot, so he retracts his hand and puts both hands on the wheel. Like a responsible driver, obviously. “Don’t worry, I’ll take you out to that buffet too.” Simon adds. You bite down on your hand, trying to stifle some moans and hopefully tame the intense feelings you just had. You look down and notice your lipstick rubbed off on the back of your hand. You then glare at Simon playfully.

“You fucked up my makeup while barely touching me! God damn it!” You exclaim, hurriedly grabbing your lipstick again to fix it. Simon chuckles, then clicks his tongue as he sarcastically chides, “At least you’re not wearing a silly rabbit costume.”

[ratguy-nico]

I read this today and many thoughts came to mind so yeah this is another rambling.

'til this day I don't get over the fact that only last year we had the Last Season of The Owl House, the rushed end of one of the greatest series of the decade, that could have mark a new course for many series yet to come, the spiritual successor of another of the greatest series of all Gravity Falls.

The Owl House was released in 2020 just four years ago and it was cancelled in 2022, two years ago, presumable cause it had too much representation for Disney's taste.

This is obviousley not confirm, but everyone in the industry and Dana Terrace herself had made clear that this was the main reason.

All this just 2 years ago, many like to say we live in a time were LGBT+ community had all the representation they need, that everything is gay now days and and that this excess of representation is becoming tedious. And then this is a case from fucking 2 years ago.

It just so sickening, to think that yeah we have representation nowdays but it has to be a certain tipe of rep, it can not be too much, in the Owl House I think there was just one straight couple in the main cast, it has not to be too on the nose, gods forbid for the main character to be gay, lesbian, bi or the non existent trans representation, and it cannot be normal, if you are gay it has to be your main trait, your whole life, you have to have like many crisis as you can and have a whole out of the closet episode, it has to be the revelation of the century.

I still remeber Alex Hirsch puteando a Disney cause they didn't let him do many things he wanted with his own serie, among them the relationship betweenm the two town sheriffs, one of the cutest things in the show, and very funny too.

Alex Hirsch has always been very vocal about he's own despite for Disney as a creator that work for them. And thats why I love him.

I still remeber cartoon network forbidding Rebecca Sugar to say that the Gems were womans, cause that would imply that all the gems were lesbians and that was a totally No No for fricking Cartoon Network, the one everyone point when saying is only Disney the non inclusive one.

(why they never bring this back? what is wrong with Steven Universe?)

Though this end like a tiro en la culata which means backfire cause suddenly the gems were non binary or no gender which was fricking funny cause even more hard to explain XD

This also happened with Adventure Time, another Cartoon serie, were everyone was lost whith the Bublegum and Marcy kiss in the last episode, cause we were told they had a relationship in fricking Season 3 but no, they didn't tell explicitly that they were in a romantic relationship, cause you know... lesbian equal bad.

Their relationship keep getting explore and we had amazing episodes with this two navigating their feelings for each other, the past mistakes in their relationship and how to become better together. But all this while not telling us that they love each other, cause they weren't allow to tell us.

This is merely frustration on my part, I know we have better represantation nowdays, but... is not nearly enough, like I said, theres still close to non rep for ace or trans people, bisexual are getting better, though the rep still is plagued of horrible stereotype and fetization, but this is something lesbian and gays can have manage to avoid yet so what we expect.

So yeah we should celebrate our representation, and not let anyone tell us that is enough or too much, cause til this day the best ace representation I have seen comes from Todd from Bojack Horseman a serie from 2014 that ended in 2020, that set the bar and none had even try to fight, I hope Alastor become a better rep in this front, I really hope so. Lilith made an absolute great work, but sadley cause the serie was cut out we missed a lot of this character T^T

And Im not gonna talk about trans rep cause that's just sad.

I will always hold resentment to Disney cause of what they did to the Owl House, for sure, that something I hold near my heart everyday.

So yeah I totally use this persons post to talk about me me me, and I dont know them so prefer not to involve them in this.

And if you dont notice I keep this Animation Series only, cause theres too many series and I have not watch nearly enough, I know thers some with really good rep and others that are lit hot shit. So yeah the world is wild and full of shit.

Adventure Time 2010-2018

Gravity Falls 2012-2016

Steven Universe 2013-2019

Bojack Horseman 2014-2020

The Owl House 2020-2023

[vulturesrottencorpse]

Is this part of my autism or am I just an asshole

ok so basically, there's this really nice girl in my class, she keeps trying to talk me me (guess she wants to be my friend) but I don't like her. I go to a school that isn't mainstream so we get a lot of people with autism, ADHD, ect. You'd think this would make this easier to make friends, right? No. For some reason I'm a very picky person with who I talk to, I need someone who's smarter than me or gets my humour or something. This girl, she just talks, and talks and doesn't get the hint when I try to politely shoo her away. I'll be drawing, she will comment on it and if I respond even with a thanks, she takes it as an invitation to pull her chair over and sit and draw with me. Constantly asking "should I do this?" "How do I draw this part" " what do you think" every 2 minutes. It annoys me because 1, I don't want to be rude, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so I can't just tell her to go away, and 2 , I HATE socialising, even with my friends I find talking hard (irl, at least)

Getting too long but, is this normal? Am I a bad person for not liking this person who wants to be my friend, who's really nice and shares all my interests? Aren't you supposed to like people who are just like you? We are almost exactly the same yet I can't stand her. Maybe this is what it's like for other people who talk to me. I don't know.

Edit: a part I forgot to mention was that she has anger issues and gets annoyed pretty easily. When she's mad she just starts yelling and stuff, if I accidentally offend her by telling her I don't want to be her friend I'd be the centre of attention as the person she'd yelling at, which would probably give me a panic attack.

Since the start of this year I've become a very VERY shy person. If you were to ask anyone in my class or any teachers (from my class only) about me theyed probably shrug and say "who?" Or, "oh. The one that draws all the time" which is super odd because basically my whole life I've been bullied and to combat that I became a very loud and outspoken perdon. I still had social anxiety but with my friends I was pretty much obnoxiously confident. I've gone from being told to "shut up!" And "stop talking to loud" to "speak up" and "talk a bit louder nobody can hear you." So the switch is pretty sudden, and attention, ANY attention, a teacher saying hi to me in class, someone walking past and even glancing at me, sets me into panic.

So I can't tell this girl to simply go away, even if I wasn't scared of being mean.

Also, rereading this post I'd like to clarify that I asked if this was autism because of my extremely low social battery, people pleasing behaviour, ect. And I asked if im an asshole because you're SUPPOSED to get along with people who are the same as you. With people who have similar interests or struggles but I HATE being around those people. I hate being around people who remind me of myself. My whole life I've been friends with the confident, loud and unapologetic people. But the more I think, the more my brain tells me "you just don't like them because they have autism, and that annoys you" (IM LITERALLY AUTISTIC)

This is quickly turning into a long ramble session rather than an explanation. So, feel free to just ignore this wall of text lmao.