#im quite possibly literally killing myself so other people can have nice things and i wish they would help or at least recognize that

[spelllingandthemysteryschool]

hello! what is your ranking of the rv title tracks, im curious to know, unless you've posted it before im sorry 😭

hi! 🌟 oh my goodness i spent quite a while on this because i am TERRIBLE at ranking things and i also had a lot to say... but here you go! disclaimer that i genuinely love red velvet’s discography to pieces and even the songs that are ranked lower on this list are among some of my favorites. i also decided not to include their japanese singles, solos, subunits, or sm station releases to make things a little easier for myself. you may notice that chill kill does not feature on the list & that’s because it hasn’t been out for long enough for me to ascertain my feelings towards it just yet! okay soooooo with all that out of the way . here are my thoughts 🦢

russian roulette - ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS OF ALL TIME. i got into red velvet immediately after hearing this back in 2016 & showed it to absolutely everyone i knew because i was so completely head-over-heels for it... i adore its playful synthiness and how bubbly and sweet their voices sound here, i LOVE its accompanying music video of course. when i think of kpop at its very best i think of russian roulette by red velvet!

automatic - i’m forever blown away by this song like it is literally perfect to me… smoldering, minimalist, effortlessly beautiful. i can’t believe they put this out so early in their careers, like genuinely what a feat. i love it so much

rookie - i feel like rookie is strangely underrated & i never understood why? it’s fun, it’s cute, it’s silly, it’s extremely loopable. really excellent instrumental imo and it shines even through their vocals… the strong bassline and brassy chorus in particular are highlights for me. also i think seulgi had a lot of fun this era in particular and it was so nice to see!

one of these nights - i absolutely love the creative direction of its music video & the song itself cemented rv as some of my favorite vocalists ever. easily one of their best title tracks, red or velvet. like it’s just perfect… melancholic and soulful and utterly magical

rbb (really bad boy) - i think this is one of their singles that best shows off their vocals… belting, shrieking, breathy whispering, chanting… the harmonization, the adlibs… so cunt, so interesting to listen to, so all over the place in the best way possible! no other group could have done it

umpah umpah - okay i personally feel that this is their best title track of the original festival trilogy in addition to their best summer single… never fails to lift my spirits, like it’s so joyful and unabashedly fun! i love that it sounds like it’s from a musical and i don’t mean that sarcastically at all

dumb dumb - literally one of the most unique kpop tracks like how many other songs can you think of that sound like this. still SO genuinely novel and exciting to listen to for its quirkiness and nonstop momentum that just builds and builds and builds

bad boy - very evocative of a particular moment in kpop but it aged like a fine wine! delicious to hear then & delicious to hear now… swaggering and silky and impeccably produced. i also think that the styling & sets for this music video were heavily imitated afterwards with songs of lesser quality from other groups. rv 🔛🔝

be natural - SO GOOD... sleek and sultry and understated. i also really love the way the music video is filmed and i think it belongs in the criterion collection. i’m ranking this a little lower than it deserves maybe by virtue of it being a cover rather than an original song and also because of taeyong’s rap

peek-a-boo - PEOPLE DIED. i feel like it’s almost impossible to listen to this without thinking of its music video—not at all a detriment because it’s a complete delight to watch. very catchy and clever and cool despite not being particularly upbeat. i feel like… again… it’s one of those songs where i can’t imagine a group other than red velvet putting out a comeback like this. it’s so them

feel my rhythm - love the structure of this song so much… brings together so many unexpected elements so elegantly. the noisiness caught me off guard a little bit when it came out but now i love the way they transition between the pots-and-pans quality of the verses and the orchestral ambience of the choruses. it really does feel like a frenetic, enchanting festival

power up - SO SILLYYYYY i’m a fan! i love songs with video game-inspired instrumentals & power up is one that’s fast and upbeat and summery and impossible not to dance along to. the japanese version in particular does something to my brain

birthday - i really did not like this when it first dropped but i enjoy it a LOT now… it feels like it’s building up to something it never really reaches but despite this i think it’s so catchy and bold & i love the sample the song is built around

ice cream cake - okay honestly very fun and i loved it back in the day but i don’t find myself listening to it a ton now... really enjoyed the collective blonde moment though & how ahead-of-the-curve they were with its noisy instrumentals!

queendom - i do think the lyrics can get a little corny and it’s not among their strongest title tracks, but it’s cute and easy listening vibes to me and there are some really wonderful vocal moments here and there!

psycho - good song but it was super overplayed a few years ago and it’s sonically not as interesting as their other singles. i know some people feel it’s their best but i don’t agree because i feel like i prefer songs with less muddied instrumentals. very quintessentially rv though, if that makes sense!

zimzalabim - was this a bad song… NO. do i like it that much… ALSO NO. the bridge is stunning though, one of their prettiest bridges ever, and i loved the satanism accusations that were flying around when it first dropped

red flavor - super popular, i know, and i do think it’s nice and nostalgic still, but i don’t feel it’s their best summer track and don’t actually listen to it all that much… oops. i love the twinkling sounds in the chorus but it has an empty and echoey quality to it at certain points that i find i’m not the biggest fan of

happiness - kind of a lackluster debut sorry... i do like the refrain and the pre-chorus though so the only time i ever seek out this song is when i wanna hear that bit... like yes joy! exactly joy!

[goremet-chef]

its so cute i need to. ramble okay

in creatures of sonaria like. man. a year ago at this point? i made friends with someone and like. just by chance, they decided to add me to their pack and let me kill with them and like. I WAS NERVOUS im not known for. my social prowess 💀 but they liked me? and they added me as a friend and idk it was nice. like it was a group and i was kinda in the group? even if i was mostly quiet the whole time, i was still helping and covering for them yknow?

i didnt play for a while, i went from like. playing daily to playing monthly but i started playing again and i remember i think they invited me a few times to come play like with the roblox invite function but i wasnt online at the time and so. IDK i didnt think anything would come from it yknow? but. when i joined their server on accident, they added me to their pack immediately and said hi and im like SHOCKED. did i matter enough for them to like. feel the need to say hello to me and invite me to hang with them? IT. its happened more and more, i like to play with them whenever i can and i get nervous maybe im annoying them by joining them all the time but they always invite me and say hi, and its to the point where other people in the group also say hi to me and it

you must understand! im a fucking loser man, im not someone people get along with, im painfully awkward, i feel like an alien trying its best to act human okay. but it feels good, it feels like. NORMAL. we arent serious friends like i dont know shit about them, probably never will honestly i just like to wreak havoc with them. ive always been afraid of like. INFILTRATING a group, thats what it feels like!! whenever im accepted anywhere, im so terrified im latching onto false hope, im scared that im forcing my way in and im too happy to really see it. but. they say hi to me and they mess around with me and they JOKE WITH ME like. OKAY!!! im still quiet like 90% of the time but they know alright im busy playing the game, its not like i have much to say anyways!! its fun to be. social? like im too scared, fearing itll go so horrible wrong and bruise my already quite small and fragile ego, so when it goes RIGHT?? idk i just wanna. ramble about it cuz

i joined today and one of the other members said "YAYY looksee" and it. MY HEART... i like all of them cuz i hang out with them enough like. i really only talk to the one who has me added since they will actually say things to me directly but i feel like im opening up more? just a little, im still shy but. IDK knowing theyre like getting used to me? yay looksee?????? teehee!!!!!!!!! idk why it makes me so happy, i guess im easy to please if you show me the slightest bit of. positive acknowledgement im absolutely giddy. the bar is on the floor 💀 but i dont care!!

when have i ever made a friend on roblox? ive been called slurs and insulted and told to kill myself more times than anyone has ever like. tried to be my friend 💀 i get it, im not very welcoming, its not like i try to be. im friendly sure, but quiet, and if im in any sort of social interaction (which can range from someone speaking to me and not going away after they say what they wanted to say to literally just. something cute, like someone sitting with me or giving me some food) i cant handle it (i scream and close the game as fast as possible, my heartrate goes up im BREATHING HEAVILY IM SCARED... it was nice but. terrifying!!! i feel the obligation to stay and thats too big of a commitment OKAY... roblox creature you must understand)

ITS A LOT FOR ME OKAY.. and i mean. i know how my roblox avatar looks, ive been told its cringe enough times for one lifetime, im tired!!! i get it. catboy with a skirt ooo so scary. that boy is a faggot, yeah yell it louder at me.

the worst part about that is like. IT HURTS... i know i shouldnt care about what a child on roblox says to me in creatures of sonaria trade realm, but lord! it hurts. i dont socialize, ive had enough bullying!!!!! ive done my time IN SCHOOL. alright thats enough im good on the bullying. idk im just weak i guess I CANT HANDLE IT. im not good with confrontation, i wont come up with a witty response, ill just sit and wait for them to get bored from me ignoring them and leave me alone. ITS ROUGH. especially cuz its ALWAYS about my avatar, i look gay i get it, thats the point.

im a very like. ive spent TOO MUCH TIME kicking myself down over 'cringe' alright. i literally lost my interests and passion cuz i was scared of being cringe, wanted to fit in better. it made me MISERABLE. im very pro cringe i love it cuz? its only cringe if you suck, things that are 'cringe' i never find cringey even a little bit, cuz i like it when people are happy. but. i find it hard not to be a little embarrassed. its ROBLOX i get to look however i want!! i love silly roblox avatars okay, i dont want to be embarrassed about mine!!! im not a confident person, i wear it around because i like the image of this stupid catboy clothes on a very man shaped man alright looksee is my pride and joy i give him a little kis. but maybe they get the wrong idea? idk. i dont think so, i think they just dont like how i look. whatever. also my avatar matches with my friends really well so. its iconic to me!!!

still, like i said. its why i try not to play social games alone on roblox, im scared to be bullied i will admit 💀 if my friend was there, she'd tell them to kill themselves for me!!! but. shes not always there. i literally panic anytime someone runs up to me directly i sigh and say 'here we go again' cuz im waiting the imminent insults alright. IM TIREDDD so tired. they dont get him like i do. hes an avatar ive DRAWN before hes just an oc at this point, i wont ever change him cuz i like him but . sometimes it gets hard!!!

im so off topic here i just. NEED TO RANT A LITTLE cuz it. it does genuinely bother me but im too scared to like. VENT ABOUT IT to any of my friends cuz im absolutely sure some of them would roll their eyes, its just a game!! game is important to someone like me, game is the closest i come to like. living in a real social world, of course its important to me!! game is the easiest way for me to interact with strangers and not die of a panic attack immediately after 💀

WHATEVER im yapping i love to yap but. idk i just wanted to talk about it, im still so . it feels good to know that even if im weird and quiet, im not so weird and so quiet that people want to avoid me all the time. theres SOMETHING about me that they think is cool enough, like. well. i can overthink if i want to. maybe theyre adding me into their pack out of pity? maybe they dont actually like having me around but they feel too awkward to like. they feel like its gone too far now? in too deep? or maybe. im not as awful as i think i am!! maybe im weird and offputting but its okay :]

LISTEN. maybe this is normal for everyone else but its a big deal for me oky. ITS HUGE ACTUALLY. like just to have a mindless video game buddy? someone i dont even like. I DONT EVEN KNOW THEIR PRONOUNS BRO thats how little i actually converse with them but. like its not serious its just a little treat for myself, a little thing i can have. shaking like a chihuahua right now. its embarrassing to be so excited about it but. i dont do this sort of thing ever really, maybe im getting better? even if im not, ill still enjoy it

[fictionalpeoplecompleteme]

I’m a bisexual girl and I’m in love with Julie so I was wondering if maybe u could write one where the reader thought she was straight but slowly realizes she’s bi and in love with Julie, reader comes out to parents and when they don’t accept she runs to Julie and they kiss and it’s kinda angsty but then BAM fluff

Title: Valid

Request: Yes / No

Word Count: 3234 (!!)

Warnings: homophobia !!, probs not well written angst omg

(A/N): not me saying im back and not being back i hate myself. yall, there’s no schedule i just post whenever im like, active and thats a really bad habbit that i should NOT keep doing istg. also au where the band never died, but theyre never mentioned. anyways ty ty TY to the sweetie who asked for this ! i literally squealed when i read this request. not this being 3k words umm help

You had your moments. Those weird moments where you didn’t know what you were feeling, especially to the person you were feeling those emotions to. Like this one time where it was a normal day watching Disney Channel and eating pizza (basically living the dream) and then a new movie popped up. “Teen Beach Movie” was the film, and let me tell you, when you saw Butchy AND Lela wearing leather, let’s just say you were confused why felt his way for both of them... it wasn’t right.

No, of course it was right ! You had these feelings for both genders, and your feelings were valid, so why wasn’t it right? Well, it was a simple answer. 

Your parents.

Of course, they didn’t down right say they hated the lgbtg+ community. Although they might as well have downright said that they did, because with the things they say,

“Why do they get a whole MONTH of pride?”

“Ugh, the gays are making it EVERYTHING about them.”

“Do they have to do that in public? Couldn’t they have waited until they got home?”

“Why would they put that in tv?! The kids are gonna watch that and think that they’re gay!”

Obviously you heard their views, and when you started to realize you somewhat fit in their hate demographic, you “decided” that you weren’t going to. And that’s how it has been for a long time.

RIIINNGG

Ugh, another school day.

“Kill me now.”

You got up your very comfortable bed, and did your daily routine. After you were finished with that and dinner, you were dropped off at the infamous Los Feliz High School. You were then greeted by your best friend, Octavia.

“Hey bestiee.” you joked.

“Hey rat.” Octavia said with the same energy. 

“So, did you finally finish atla last night?” you asked.

“Of course! To have a chance to see my husbands is a chance I’ll always take. Even started watching tlok! Mako does looks scrumptious not gonna lie.” she said, doing that weird tucking her hair behind her ear and having a look of thirst on her face. Its the fact that she basically always does that for me.

“Not you finishing atla AND starting tlok the very same night. I don’t think that’s normal.” you said shaking your head. 

“Lets just say that if I get diagnosed with insomnia, don’t be surprised.”

“I don’t think anyone would be.” you said while the both of you are putting your supplies in our locker.

“ANYWAYS, I’m sorry for you getting moved to Mr. G’s class. I know he can be very mean.” Octavia said sympathetically.

And it’s all true. Mr. G is basically known for being modern day Snape, favorites and all (especially to the popular kids). Considering you were fresh meat to his class, you were not looking forward to the inevitable insults. 

“Ugh, don’t remind me. I can NOT stand the fact that I wasn’t even in his class in the first place, thinking I was safe, and then I got moved!” you yelled.

“I know, I know.” she said while putting her hands on your shoulder. “(y/n), if he even BREATHES in your direction, just tell me and I swear the next time I see him its on sight.” Octavia said with a very stern look on her face. “Honestly I can’t believe that the principle wouldn’t fire him, he has enough complaints for at least a suspension.”

“O, what would I do without you? And besides, don’t blame her. She genuinely tried to fire him. But I heard that he lawyered up to the point where he was basically untouchable.” you said.

“We lost.” “We truly did.”

Right after that conversation, the bell rang. 

“Good luck (y/n)! I love you !!” said Octavia while going to her 1st period class. 

“I love you too!” you yelled back.

Oh lord. Please please make this class bearable.

You walked to the door, and took a deep breath. As you went inside, not one second went by as you already got a taste of his scrutiny.

“Well well, if it isn’t the newbie! (y/n) (y/l/n). Just pick an empty seat as that’ll be the only way you’ll get someone to sit next to you.” he chuckled

You wanted to die right then and there. 

And it got worse as the whole class seemed to find that insult funny, considering that they all laughed. 

“O m gosh, Mr G. That was your best one yet!” said Carrie. Of course she had something to say. Not one situation where she kept her mouth shut and yelled her commentary to everyone in the room.

You shuffled your way to the back of the class, to find an empty seat next to this girl. She looked familiar, but not to the point where you knew her name. Though you wished you had. She looked quite.. pretty. With her amazing hair, and her beautiful eyes. Not to mention her face in general..

NO !

No. Of course you had these thoughts of her, she’s just naturally pretty, anyone would’ve thought that. You then put your backpack behind the seat and proceeded to sit down next to her. A few moments passed of you sitting next to the girl, until she said,

“Sorry about that. Mr G. can be very mean sometimes to everyone, -not that that’s okay!” she stuttered. “It’s just, don’t take it personally.”

“Er- thanks.”

“I’m Julie by the way! What’s your name?”

“I’m (y/n).”

“Nice you (y/n)! With each other, I promise you, we can get through his class.”

You smile at her. And Julie smiled back. of course she had to be nice too!

“Well Ms. (y/n), Ms. Molina, talking in my class? I’m not even mad, just surprised! Ms. (y/n) actually found someone to talk to!” said Mr. G.

Aaand of course, he has something to say again.

“I’m surprised she has anything to say at all, considering the amount of times you had already talked down to her. Just simply leave her alone.” said Julie with assert. 

You were shocked to say the least. And it showed to, having a look of disbelief all over your face.

“Um, wel- uh, Ms. Molina, keep that mouth closed, if you don’t want to spend your lunch in detention.” said Mr G. 

You were honestly very glad that she stood up for you in that moment. A little too glad, because in that time, the feelings started to flood in.

Of course, why wouldn’t it! She was just simply nice to you and you had already developed whole feelings for her! But was it exactly bad? Sure, your parents deemed that it already was, but that didn’t mean that you had to. This is who you were, a human being with valid feelings, and there was nothing wrong with that. So with this whole situation, you said with a big smile,

“Thank you.” 

Hey, you never said you were good at speaking with other people. But I don’t think it mattered to Julie, because she had returned your smile, and in that moment you realized you can find yourself deeper in love.

The two of you really had bonded during class time. Sure, you can say that you both flirted but you were never really good at figuring that out, even when you were flirting with boys (it had always been Octavia’s job to figure that out.) But considering the things she said to you.

“I love your hair!”

“You have very nice hands.”

“Your eyes are a beautiful shade of (y/e/c).”

After class, you both knew that you liked, liked each other. But that's where the hard part came in, actually confessing. To be totally honest, you could barely manage confessing to a boy, imagine with Julie? Although you were happy to know that Julie had already thought about this, because when you both walked out the door, she took your hand and guided you to the music room, where the both of you were alone.

Both of you were facing each other. You could tell she was nervous, cause she was playing with her hands, and didn’t seem to try to make eye contact with you.

“(y/n), I know we just met this class,” she said, both chuckling, “but would you like to get coffee with me sometime?”

Oh boy, she actually asked you out! Don’t get you wrong, you were happy! In spite the fact that you had your parents to worry about. So with that, knowing all that was at risk, you still said with full confidence,

“I would love to.”

Julie gave you the biggest smile you had yet to see. She moved a strand of hair out of your face and then proceeded to hold your hands.

“It’s a date! How about at 4 after school?” she said.

“The perfect time.”

After exchanging numbers, you both felt ecstatic, the both of you just left the room with the biggest grin. You couldn’t believe that you had gotten a date with Julie! Now I know that you’re gonna say that you should’ve told Julie about your situation with your parents, but she looked so happy that you couldn’t possibly have ruined the moment with that.

After that amazing moment, you had managed to spot Octavia in the hallway. You walked up to her like you normally would, though this time you had a scared expression. You had never come out before. Though you thought the possibility of keeping this from your parents, this wasn’t something you could keep from her. So walking up to her, you just blurted out the truth, without a second thought.

“Hey! How was Mr-.”

“I’m bi!”

She seemed stunned after a second, but only a second as she bursted out laughing out of nowhere.

“Um-”

“Oh my gosh, the way that was the way you came out to me! It’s the disorganization for me.” said Octavia, while wiping her tears away.

“Wait-, you don’t care?” you asked confused.

“Do you want me to be bothered or something?” she asked in a more sarcastic tone.

“Well no- it's just- I don’t know, I was just scared I guess.”

“Listen,” she said sternly while again putting her hands on your shoulders as a way to comfort you. “I will love you no matter who you love. Understand?”

“And I you. The problem is my parents. I know what they think of people like me, and it’s not good. How am I going to survive this ughh.”

“They’re your parents, I’m sure it’ll be a shock to them, but if they truly love you, they’ll accept you.”

“Thank you Octavia, what will do without you?”

“Hey, that’s what I’m here for.”

After you finally finished your classes, you nervously went to the front of the school to wait for your mom to pick you up. You felt so nauseous, to the point where you were sure that you were going to throw up right there. After waiting for 5 minutes, your mom pulled up. You got in the car and you felt so nervous that you were just silent the whole car ride. Your mom for sure took notice.

“Hey sweetie, you’re alright?” said your mom.

“Yeah, I just don’t feel so well.”

“Oh, are you alright? Did you eat something bad maybe?”

“Yeah, probably something during lunch.”

And after that the conversation fully stopped as your mom noticed you were not in the mood to talk.

You finally got home and you felt even worse than before. You dreaded this moment, and just felt like passing out. As you got inside, you quickly went inside your room, not bothering to say hi to your dad. You put your stuff on the ground and just started to really think about this.

They’re my parents! Like Octavia said, they should still accept me, I’m their child. And if they don’t? They have to, right?

Right?

You finally built up the courage to go outside your room and go to the kitchen, where both of you parents were.

“Mom, dad? I need to tell you something.” you said, basically shaking.

“Sure, what is it sweetie?” said your dad.

And without a second thought, you just blurt it out?

“I’m bi!”

It was dead silent. And that scared you. 

The part that truly scared you? Hearing the words that you had been dreading to hear.

“You’re pranking me, right?” you dad chuckled, as if it was a joke.

That’s when you started to get a little irritated. You knew how your parents were, so this reaction was inevitable. So considering all the preparation, you still got mad. 

“Why would this be a prank?!” you said with an “attitude” (that’s what your parents would say at least, although you were just simply defending yourself).

“Honey, as much I love you, this isn’t natural.” said your mother with a normal tone, which you could argue was just as scary as an angry tone.

“If you actually loved me, you would accept me as I am!” you said, starting to actually get aggrieved.

“Don’t yell at your mother like that!” said your father, who actually stood up from his chair.

“I wouldn’t need to be yelling, if you would actually accept me for who I am, not all this!”

“LISTEN, I’m sure this is just a phase. You either change your ways or you are no longer considered my daughter! No daughter of mine would feel such a disgusting thing!” your father yelled.

That’s when you lost it, you knew that no matter what you did, they would never change their way. That’s why you just let it out, because they would never change their way, so why not just let it all out?

“You know what?! I’m going to leave! I rather be homeless than to live in a house with you two! My two parents who don’t even accept me, WHO DON’T MAKE ME FEEL LOVED OR VALIDATED!” you yelled.

At that point you were shaking and crying. With the anger that you were feeling inside you didn’t even think to get any clothes or basic necessities, you just grabbed your phone and just ran out with your parents yelling your name. But you didn’t care, you were not going back there, that’s for sure.

After that horrible fight, you went to a park that was near your house. You went inside a private bathroom that was thankfully unoccupied, cause if it wasn’t, you were pretty sure that you would’ve broken down right then and there. Once you had gone in there, you surprisingly didn’t cry. You just held it in, and really thought about your situation. You realized that it was pretty stupid of you that you didn’t get your belongings and then left the house. Oh! And that you were pretty much homeless.

After a good thinking session, you did the most sensical thing you could do in that situation. 

You called Julie.

Now I know what you’re thinking! ‘Why Julie, why didn’t you call Octavia instead?’. Well it was pretty simple, you just desperately wanted to see Julie. You pressed on her contact, not really knowing what was coming with it. What if she thought you were weird? What if she laughed at you? What if she felt weirded out with you and then blocked your number? What if-

“Hello?”

“Julie?” You sounded pretty distraught, so it wasn’t surprising when she sounded concerned herself once she heard your voice.

“Hey, is everything alright?”

“Julie, this might sound really weird, but something really bad happened and you were the only person I could think to call! If you’re busy I’m sorry I won’t-”

“Hey! I’m sure everything’s going to be fine. Where are you?”

You took a deep breath, you were just thankful she didn’t block you right then and there. “I’m at the park in (street name).”

“Okay, just stay right there and I’ll come and get you.”

When the call ended, you walked out of the bathroom and sat on swings, waiting for Julie. After you waited, for what seemed an eternity, you saw her.

Julie.

She spotted you in the swings, and gave you the sweetest smile. She walked closer to you and stretched out her hands, which you took. After just staring at each other, she gave you the biggest hug, which (not gonna lie) you just really needed. Much to your disappointment, she let go of you, she swung an arm around you, and started walking to her house. The both of you didn’t say anything, but you guys didn’t need to, the peaceful silence was nice.

The both of you then arrived at her house. That’s when you started to panic, you weren’t looking forward to bother her family. 

“Are you sure we can go in the house?” you asked 

She gave you a chuckle, “I think we can go to my house.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to bother any-”

“Hey.” She proceeded to grab your hands and then moved to cup your face. “Everything’s going to be okay, my dad and brother aren’t home, and even if they were, you would absolutely be greeted with open arms.” she said,

You both went inside the house and then inside Julie’s room. She motioned to sit on her bed and you did. She sat next to you and then held your hand, intertwining with each other.

“It’s okay, you can talk to me.”

You took a deep breath, and just let all your feelings out. “It’s just my parents were never really supporting of the lgbtq community, so it was stupid of me to actually think they would have any other different reaction. And the fact that they would react like that? To say such cruel things? I just..- I don’t know, is it wrong for me to feel bad?”

“They’re your family, of course you would have this sensation of feeling bad. But I just want you to know that they’re in the wrong, not you. Any sane person would think that, everyone just wants to be accepted. Just know this,” she said while leaning closer, your hands still intertwined. “you are valid, so many people love you no matter who you love.” she said while moving a strand of hair out of your face.

You continued to smile, but looked into Julie’s eyes with so much adore. And the best part was, she was looking at you the exact same way.

Without a second thought, you decided to just go for it. You kissed her. The kiss was passionate, and sweet. Julie then gave soft kisses to you cheeks and knuckles, murmuring comforting words such as “it’s okay” “you’re alright” “i’m here”. 

After pulling away you both looked at each other, and then you offered your favorite pastime.

“Can we go to sleep? I just wanna sleep the stress away.”

Julie chuckled and then agreed. You both got into a position of Julie laying down while your head rested on her chess, and her holding you. While you were half asleep, you said those three words,

“I love you.” 

You were half asleep, so you didn’t understand the severity of the action, but before you fully drifted, you heard these words coming out of her mouth.

“I love you too.”

Taglist (link in bio!)

@noncannonships @mandiscadelinha @yoyokzzz @twist3dtinkerbell

[captainshazamerica]

If this Bruce doesn't adopt Tim I will! But I'm kinda scared for Tim I mean he's either gonna end up with Buce or the titans at some point, im afraid that something terrible is gonna happen his family and then titans/bruce takes him in? That boy loves batman and robin so much like even his family seeing the news knew how much it would upset him although I will say that for the brain that kid has he makes some pretty stupid decisions, hes driving around GOTHAM plastered in the bat-symbol that's not a good idea! the amount of lunatics that roam free in Gotham (and possibly have escaped from arkham) and hate the bat and hes driving around with the bat symbol on him KID be careful!

Some kind of Anti-fear toxin does seem more accurate cuz he's clearly taking something to not be afraid. Maybe it's something he found in Gotham and decided to try it and got addicted so he's using that lab place to try recreate it? and maybe he can't recreate it perfectly cuz in the crowbarring scene he seemed kinda anxious about his surroundings and he'd just taken that inhaler thing to overcome fear so I dunno?? Or maybe he went to arkham to see Crane for some reason and Crane has orchestrated the whole thing and told him about the drug but then wouldn't Crane have to know everyone's identity then? Dude I dunno I need more episodes even tho the low quality glitchyness is painful lol

There's probably an abundance of rooms to choose from at Wayne manor yet Jason takes Dicks old room and keeps the flying graysons posters up! I like to think that he does view dick as an older brother and just took his room to kind of have a connection to him and that he admires him hence the graysons posters being left up, yooo dick calling him his brother! I really want a nice family reunion with dick jason and bruce 💕

Babs was too mean to bruce when she went off like I get where she's coming from but yo lady his son just died dial it down like a notch yikes but also babs being like 'i wonder how long it'll take for bruce to replace jason and dick is all 'what no the last thing bruce is gonna do is rope another kid into this mess'. Cut to scene of Bruces potential robin folder 😅 but I also like that dick was trying to be considerate and compose himself for bruce but once he found out that bruce is idiot enough to pull another kid into this, that that's when he got mad and bruce so brokenly begging dick to come back and be robin 😢😢😢

I know the show is constantly trying to push bruce out/sideline him cuz it's a titans show not a bruce wayne show and I know they're going for a different portrayal of bruce which I'm not complaining about I do like this version of bruce (more than I thought actually) and this universe but I feel like they could have gave more cracks you know, I like that they showed him trying to avoid the reality of jasons death and just not stopping not even for a second and just immediately jump into another case and that breakdown verge where he's begging dick to be robin and then when he finally I guess let's the weight of jasons loss sit on him to the point where he whacks in jokers head with a crowbar just like he killed jason (he could have killed joker so many other ways like a less violent bullet to the head but oh no brucey crowbars him to death!!)

There's a lot of character stuff that i do like but that scene where he's in the cave on his knees scrubbing his sons blood out of the suit he died in, the suit that he only ever wore because of batman. 😢 I feel like they could have had him crack there and let out a gut wrenching scream and then just continue on doing what he was doing as if nothing happened and dick walking in on that should have had more of a reaction!? like he could have stopped in his tracks at the sight of his brothers blood all over his father and bruce screaming, dick could have like took a step back almost like he's gonna run but forces himself to stay there, because who wouldn't want to run from that and no matter how much horrible things you've dealt with before sometimes your brain does just take over against your will and makes you react, the rest of the scene just could have played out the way it did. Literally one ounce more emotion is all I wanted.

No one really emotionally cracked at jasons death. I get that it just happened and that people put walls up and denial can be such a prominent thing when a loved one dies but it couldn't have been that difficult to put in little mannerisms now and again to show that everyone is deeply hurt but holding it in. Honestly gar seemed more hurt to me than dick did. But I do like that dick reacted in detective mode and started trying to figure things out from jasons side so at least there's that.

This redhood is defo not an anti hero he has well and truly landslided into villian territory and I dunno how that's gonna be reconciled? they better not kill him off! and they better not just straight up keep redhood/jason as a full on villian! but if they do get through to jason and bring him back a little how the heck is that little man gonna deal with what he did to Hank?? I feel like they had a bond you know and for all Hanks talk about putting Jason down I really don't think that Hank would actually have killed him even if it came down to Hanks life vs Jasons I think Hank would rather die than kill Jason (but that's heavily biased cuz in my mind jason is my son and I freaking love hank sooo) but Hank to me puts on a hard front like 'yeah I'll get in your face I'll come at you b*tch' but internally he's like 'yeah I'll come at you to help you' 😅 like internally he defo has a lot of soft spots though that's not to say he'd be like this for someone like the joker or scarecrow or whatever guys like that he'd be like no screw you you die or go to arkham like byeee

Nevermind how jason is gonna come back from this though HOW IN THE ACTUAL SH*T is dawn gonna come back from this!!?!!

Random side note here but imagine Jasons first time in the batcave he would be so excited and trying to mess with everything and being like ohh what's that do and pressing random buttons and bruce having a hernia trying to get jason to stop before he accidentally blows the cave up 😅 also he has probably been caught several times trying to 'borrow' the batmobile, I can just picture him trying to sneak down the halls of the manor without the floor creaking and making it all the way into the cave and doing a victory dance cuz he didn't get caught and he hops on into the batmobile in his pj's and let's out a scream cuz alfred is sitting in the freakin passenger seat waiting for him and then they just hang out in the batmobile alfred had the good foresight to bring a flask of tea books and a blanket for jason

Speaking of Alfred I think it would have been more angsty and hurtful if Alfred died shortly after Jason and after a few days Jason claws his way out his grave and the first thing he sees is Alfreds headstone and that's how he finds out Alfred died : (((

This is so long girl I'm sorry I know it doesn't seem like it but I did restrain myself 😅 one more thing before I go maybe this Dick is the absolute worst mf and the reason babs feels betrayed by him and is so upset with him could be that he left her (or cheated on her) with Dawn cuz of that weird flashback thingy in the other season where dick dawn was a thing I dunno I hope not though that would be ughhh

Oh crap, you right about probably something bad will happen to Tim for Bruce or Titans to take him in, I was gonna say he could just demand to be in their lives to save Bruce/Dick like in the comics but he also has kinda shitty parents normally and these people seem cool so really it could go either direction, but like it’s Titans so it doesn’t look good lol. Also, I wonder if it’s gonna be Dick who is basically gonna adopt him this time since we already had a huge track record in just 2 seasons lmao. But I know right, true I like how his parents knew immediately how much the news would effect him 😭 I hope he goes down the making himself robin and forcing himself in Dick and Bruce’s life xD I love that route. Lmao, the kid is all book smart, very little street smart when it doesn’t have to do with outsmarting someone XD

I was also rewatching and that gas he takes def has to be some anti fear toxin cause he mentions fear so many times and flash backed to his near death fall, which he felt was probably holding him and back and thus had to prove himself and adds to whatever is influencing him. But ohhh he did seem pretty dang anxious at the carnival grounds, that’s a really interesting theory but recreating something he found hmm, I can see that.

Apparently according to a YouTube who got to see the first 5 episodes, we find out what his deal is a lot more in episode 5, so one more week hopefully

Brooo trueee, I couldn’t believe jason took dick’s room and like didn’t even change anything. Like Jason looks or at least use to look up to Dick SO much, like in his first episode in the first season, he went on quite a lot about how much he had always wanted to meet him and how much he looked up to him, which is probably also fueling his red hood rage, being hurt by your idol and brother like he did in S2 must have really just killed the boy. But yes omg, there freaking better be a dang family reunion scene like, after so much angst we deserve that 😭

And yesss, I loved seeing how mature Dick is getting and just how much he is growing as a character, the fact he was so calm and considerate with Bruce at first really shows that compared to s1 Dick, only breaking when Bruce tried to get more kids involved. That scene by Brenton was sooo well acted omg, the way he yelled that he doesn’t want to robin again, heartbreaking man. And Bruce begging like that omg

Yeah, this version of Bruce is def so different than any Bruce we have seen on screen before, like def the most emotionally constipated, and that’s saying something xD But I like how they are taking a risk, it also helps Dick’s character more and give him more of an arc, as he seems to be taking on Bruce’s normal role with Jason and red hood. Bro, you are so right omg, like the fact Bruce could have killed the joker in any way and he does it with the dang crowbar. It really shows how broken he really was and why the man shouldn’t depressing any and every damn feeling and emotion lol.

Omg, I love how you have the exact details of what you wanted to happen in that one Bruce and Dick scene 😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 bro if you dont already you should totally write fanfics cause that was so detailed, I love it

Yeah, I do wish someone cracked (other than Bruce lmao) a bit more, but I do think each character reacted in character though, like it is very Dick(at least this version of Dick, other versions may break down tbh) to put everything into solving the case and figuring out what was up, that’s more this version’s way of caring than just breaking down, like he rarely ever has broken down completely. I think dawn could have been a little more emotional about the death (tho she has enough coming for her lmao). Connor didn’t know Jason that well so it makes sense he would just be sad. Gar seemed pretty sad and in character about it, maybe could have had a bit more, same with Kori, tho she showed it by being almost angry and fiercely protective of everyone else, so I think that makes sense for her. It would have been interesting to see how Rachel and Rose would have reacted though (where did rose go btw?! She would so have a reaction to Jason’s death). But yeah, i wish there was more resolution and break downs for Jason, but also it may have just not felt real since they weren’t there? But I agree

You think? Idk, I think they could def still make him an anti hero towards the end, especially if it’s crane behind the whole thing. Cause if they don’t they are gonna have to go down the gosh awful overused villain gets redeemed while he dies/only to die right freaking after , and I will be so freaking livid if they do that omg. Like they better freaking not. But true, he would be broken by what he did to Hank, oh yikes. But I can see him then that leading to the anti hero path, like he would never go back to be on the titans cause he would feel too guilty, thus giving more of a reason for the anti hero life. But I know, I loved Jason and Hank’s love hate relationship 😭😭😭😭 You know Hank secretly loved the kid and probably saw himself in him.

Yikes poor dawn, you right. Like I have no idea how she is gonna be now like wow.

OMG GIRL, You are on a hc angst train today!!!! That scenario of Alfred dying right after jason and Jason climbing out to see Alfred’s?! Heartbreaking!

But I can’t believe they killed Alfred off so casually tho😭

Omg I swear if they freaking show Dick having cheated on Babs I will be so freaking pissed omg, he better have not! Im hoping they had a more high school romance thing/grew up together then got together type of thing

And omg don’t apologize I LOVED IT and reading your asks!!! I feel ya too!

[imagineimaginethat]

Hello Queen, may I request a ikesen HC of how the warlords would react to a soul switch between Nobunaga and MC? I watched it in an anime and liked the idea. You can include all the warlords if you like or any of your choice. Im excited haha 💚💚💚

I loved this! It took forever because I kept forgetting to save as I went along and had to keep redoing stuff (oh, when will I learn?) I did Nobunaga, Shingen, and Hideyoshi. I’ll do the others in sets of 3 or more later as well 

**Requests are open**

Nobunaga

         Nobunaga wakes up first and is extremely confused.

         For one, why does his body feel so rested?

·         And two, why are you no longer wrapped up in his arms

·         He looks back and has a very shocking realization that causes his eyes, well your eyes, to widen

·         This would not be good

·         He had no idea how something like this could happen and it would definitely need to be fixed as soon as possible, but for now, he could not help but to think, his face had never looked so t rest

·         So, for the sake of not scaring you and so that his body could get the benefits of a good night’s sleep he let you sleep for a while longer

·         When you did wake up, Nobunaga watched as you let his eyes flutter open, you looked at him for all of one second before looking down at yourself and then letting out a scream he had no clue he could produce

·         This, naturally meant, both his right hand and left hand came charging into his room, because no one had ever heard their lord scream like that, so surely something horrendous must have happened

·         Instead, they were greeted by a peculiar sight, you, perfectly calm and trying to reason with Nobunaga who was full on panicking

·         This seemed a bit… reversed

·         You turned your eyes on Hideyoshi and Mitsuhide and began explaining that you were Nobunaga and that somehow in the night your soul had ended up in his body, and his yours

·         They were hesitant to believe it, but they doubted Nobunaga would go to such lengths for a prank early in the morning

·         Woah boy

·         They decided it would be best if they tried to keep this discrete as possible, once you calmed down you began to see the benefits of being in Nobunaga’s body.

·         You could do whatever you wanted pretty much without repercussion- until Nobunaga got his body back that is

·         You two try to do what the other would do, but you both meet some complications with that

·         One, you’re so nice to all of the vassals and your tone is so much softer/kinder than Nobunaga’s normal commanding one, that people question if Nobunaga is unwell

·         Then, there’s the problem with curiosity, you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

·         Hideyoshi’s heart nearly jumps out of his chest in fear when he sees you trying to do all types of stunts, can Nobunaga do a backflip, let’s find out!

·         Nobunaga on the other hand, finds he is quite careful in your body, not wanting to hurt you in anyway, he tries to pick up your habit of sewing but after pricking your fingers more than a few times he gives up

·         Then, there’s your social obligations

·         Nobunaga did his best to imitate you and he did a good job until the topic of conversation was turned to him, it was mostly general complaints about working under a warlord, but also some flattery, when they expected you to chime in, Nobunaga gave some humble praise

·         The ladies laughed at you however, and asked if you and Nobunaga had been fighting lately, since you were apparently much more enthusiastic to praise him

·         Nobunaga made a mental note of this

·         One good thing came about though, since Hideyoshi was watching you as him, Nobunaga was free to indulge in as much konpeito as he could find

·         Finally, night came, and you talked about your days, and you couldn’t help but to fidget around

·         “Nobunaga… I was wondering….” You were kind of curious, not of what it was like to kiss you, but rather what did Nobunaga feel when he kissed you, “could I maybe…. And if you’re not okay with it, that’s fine, but maybe-“

·         Nobunaga as your eyes flashed to your own lips and you gently bit his

·         “Of course, come Fireball,” it felt so weird hearing you call Nobunaga Fireball, but somehow he made it work

·         The kiss was soft and gentle, and it felt nice against your lips, but then something changed, the kiss began to feel much more familiar

·         GASP

·         Was that the key?

·         You were back to normal, yes!

 Hideyoshi

·         When Nobunaga wakes up in Hideyoshi’s arms it’s a bit awkward

·         He leaps up and before he can question what is going on, upon looking down and noticing the change in his height he realizes what has happened

·         When his own body comes charging into Hideyoshi’s room, there is no doubt

·         When Hideyoshi wakes up he is… extremely concerned and confused

·         He has no clue what could have made you two switch bodies and you two are just as short on answers

·         To be safe Hideyoshi decides to follow Nobunaga, well you, around all day while Nobunaga would stay as you in Hideyoshi’s room, not getting into any trouble whatsoever

·         Hideyoshi finds you being in Nobunaga’s body is the most chaotic thing he has ever experienced

·         For starters, you were giving all the vassals the day off and telling them to go get tea, or to grab lunch with people they enjoy the company of

·         This was wildly out of character for Nobunaga, but who were the vassals to look a gift horse in the mouth

·         Then you snuck off back to Nobunaga’s tenshu and tried to pull off some, “awesome samurai sword moves,” because, “surely, Nobunaga’s body comes equipped with muscle memory.”

·         You threw the sword in the air like a baton to catch it and Hideyoshi’s soul nearly existed his person

·         He decides you’re done for the day and brings you back to his quarters, because there is no way he can let you persist

·         When evening comes, you’ve all sort of given up on fixing the situation for the day

·         But, just as the moon peeks into the room a light seems to flicker in both of your eyes

·         You look down and see a much more familiar sight

·         You’re back in your body, which is great because being Nobunaga was fun, but it’d be a bit awkward if you kissed Hideyoshi as his boss- also Nobunaga would not have appreciated it

·         Nobunaga is glad to be himself again, the next day however, he is very confused about why his vassals and servants are thanking him for giving them the day off

·         Also, why does he have the desire to toss his sword in the air?

·         Meanwhile, you realize you must have eaten a dozen pouches of konpeito after searching through Hideyoshi’s room and finding the hidden pouches everywhere

 Shingen

·         When Shingen realizes what has happened after you wake up in demanding to know how he’d gotten to Azuchi and why he was in your room, he has a field day

·         This man is about to die of laughter

·         The big, bad Nobunaga was trapped in the body of his princess

·         He will watch and make sure Nobunaga doesn’t do anything that could potentially harm your body, under no circumstance is his princess to be hurt

·         Meanwhile, back in Azuchi, you are having an actual field day

·         For one, you get to hang out with your friends again, and after they realized what has happened, and Hideyoshi has been calmed down, you enjoy being the pilot of Nobunaga’s body

·         Masamune condones literally everything you do as Nobunaga; did you eat half of his konpeito stash? It’s what Nobunaga would have wanted

·         Back with Shingen, Sauske is singing Freaky Friday, and they are all profoundly confused

·         They decide the best thing to do is to reunite you both and hope for a miracle

·         When Nobunaga sees what you’ve done, including making Bearsace his official left foot (as, neither the left or right hand would allow themselves to be so easily replaced) and Hideyoshi fuming about all of the candy you’ve eaten he smiles.

·         “You’ve done well in my absence, but do not eat anymore konpeito… I wish to enjoy the indulgence myself.”

·         Shingen can’t help but to laugh as you, well Nobunaga in your body, sat at the head of the impromptu meeting he’d called

·         Shingen makes sure you’ve been alright with the Oda forces and tells you not to worry, that he made sure Nobunaga didn’t do anything you wouldn’t have in the palace

·         Hearing Nobunaga’s voice soft and kind was strange, you truly could make anyone seem kind and bright

·         Shingen longed to hold his princess, intact with her original mind, body, and soul, in his arms

·         Just as he found himself wishing you could be turned back, heard a crack of thunder and Nobunaga’s eyes dilled with familiar domineering presence.

·         He was back in business

·         And you, well you looked relived to be back to normal, flinging yourself into Shingen’s arms

·         As fun as being Nobunaga was, I don’t know how much longer I could take feeling sleep deprived.

·         Shingen smiled as held onto you, “my perfect goddess, a devil for the day, but always my dearest.”

·         The rest of the warlords, sans Masamune who was having an awesome time were more than relived.

[ziracona]

so can u tell us a little about ur characterization of Lisa?? What's she like inside and outside of trials? Does she have a lot of lucidity, what were her relationships with others like, would she ever get better, do you think? ( im SAD.) Just. What's she like!! Also, same for Sally? Oh! And I'm rly enjoying two songs by Meg Myers which maybe you'll like? Running up that hill (Cover) and Desire. Maybe check em out? :3 - Sleepy

Sure!

My Lisa is from a bit before the archives for her placed her (early 1970s), because I wrote ILM back when there was no date given for many killers or survivors, so I just hoped they were historically accurate with the things they did mention & went through a fairly exhaustive list of drained swamps in the Southern US & paddleboat makes & placed her according to that data (it’s been a bit so I don’t remember the exact date without looking up my notes) in the 1920s-1930s, I believe? And in her early 20s, since she’s described as a girl & young woman, which DbD usually does only for characters in their early 20s. (Which I’d still assume is her age, bc even though her archives, if you go by them, have her in her teens, they’re not connected to the events of her disappearance/definitely happened before them.)

In trials, Lisa has like 0 lucidity. I talk about this some in chapter notes, so I’ll try to give a quick overview instead but sry if I restart myself. She’s so starved that any time she sees a living being, she is just completely overcome with hunger and can’t do anything but operate on it. Very scary. Feral. Like being attacked by a starving animal. She’s super out of it, and is completely wild and violent and has no control, only the need to eat. Outside of trials, if no one is around, she’s lucid again, but will remember trials and what she did to people, and spends that time in horror and despair. She’s tried to kill herself before, because the last thing she ever wanted was to become the thing she swore vengeance on (the Entity’s a real cruel motherfucker. Did the same to Rin, to Philip, to everyone it could. Likes to really twist decent people into what they would most despair to be), but in the realm, she’s stuck as it. She’s not really aware for trials, but remembers them with decent clarity, and is in constant agony over what she’s done. Unfortunately, suicide does not take in the realm, and every one of her attempts failed, just like her attempts to maim or tie herself up so she wouldn’t be able to hurt people did. She’s horribly alone and despairing, and also in physical agony. She’s at the worst end of what a human can be at as far as emaciation and starvation while still being alive goes, and that’s physically awful. It fucks up your brain chemistry too, and everything is just really fucking miserable all the time. It hurts to move, it hurts to breathe, your breath smells tastes like rotten fruit but in a way that’s so much worth than that can sound. She’s so hungry, her addons are things like dragonfly wings consumed to give her extra stamina. That’s the kind of bare sliver of relief she ever gets. God, poor Lisa’s life is hell. She’s completely heartbroken and isolated and almost dead. As far as relationships go, she didn’t have any for a long time. No one can really interact with her, because she goes feral at the sight of food. She’s kinda utterly alone. But briefly, when Alex, Philip, Vigo, Benedict, and Sally were a group, she kind of got stumbled into, and after a kind of nasty first encounter, was able to regain lucidity around other people, and had a truly sweet and memorable and invaluable bit of time with love and friends and other people. She was kind of in love with Sally, who did her hair for her and was really kind to her, and Sally liked her too. They were close. Lisa was close with all of them. But when things ended the way they did, the Entity took that away. Lisa remembers it, but she could never get them or it back, and was cast aside and left behind until the end of ILM, when she finally got peace and found happiness in finally getting to be at rest in the arms of a friend. Overal, she’s a fairly young and wide-eyed, bright, cautious, fun and sweet girl by nature, now massively traumatized and hopeless and broken, but still with a truly incredible amount of that kind nature retained. She would have really loved reading fantasy novels aloud and exploring the worlds of lore and history, travelling, seeing other cultures and geographic features and animals. Enjoys fashion too, and has a heart for designing and making cool, personal and cultural and symbolic tied designs, and would have been both great at that and loved it if she’d lived long enough. (Shoutout to @artianaiolanthe who inspired the fashion take & it is so suited to her I love it). A little shy, but an extrovert at heart under it, just a nervous one. Loved people. Liked climbing trees and fording brooks and baking bread and throwing rocks and baseballs to knock a target out of a tree and win a prize at little town fairs. Didn’t get the length or quality of life she was owed, and it’s just not fair or okay at all. Liked to watch the stars.

As far as getting better goes, mentally, totally. If they could get her out of the realm or break the Entity’s connection, she’d immediately stop killing. She has never done it of her own free will. She’s a sweet small town kid who was just trying to live her life. As far as physically goes though, Lisa is in one of the worst possible spots. Unlike say Amanda, who was on death’s door but healed by the Entity, or the Legion, who weren’t injured at all, Lisa was on death’s door and like Adiris, did not get healed. Just preserved in that near-death state and forced to work in it. Honestly, it’s possible she could survive long enough to get to a hospital and be saved, but at best, she’d probably live another year. When you starve, your body begins to catabolize/eat your own tissue to save itself, starting with fat, and ending with muscles and organs, which, when it reaches the heart, kills you. Lisa was so close to dead, the organ damage was probably awful, and would leave her with complications that would take her very young. The most likely thing, since she was saved literally seconds before death, would be for her to step outside the realm and immediately die. However, it’s possible she got lucky on body damage and could be saved—kinda up to interpretation—and if say, she was around for Quentin’s Vigil going healing batshit, and got some organs repaired that way, she’d have a real shot. (I also am sad. Lisa was actually the only determinate character in ILM to me/that I wasn’t sure the ending for, and while I am very happy with what ended up being her closure, I also would like to see her live for even more love and peace TuT. Lol, if I ever end up doing my goddamn four fate route fics like I’ve joked now a truly dangerous number of times about doing [>.> me @ me] then maybe she will get a variety of lives in the end). I’m glad you wanted to know! I really like and pity her. This poor kid really did nothing wrong, much like Rin, and just got eternally tortured for asking for help and justice against the monsters who took her life so violently. Fuck Brittany. (Read: the Entity.)

Ahhhh Sally. My sweet, sweet girl. Uhhh, not sure which of the Lisa questions you meant for her too, so I’ll try to speed-answer them all? Sally’s intelligent and understanding and thoughtful, patient, polite, almost elegant despite how impoverished she spent most of her life—she just tries to act like a lady and treat people with as much respect and esteem as she can (unless they suck lol). She’s also very mentally damaged and not there though, and has extremely unstable mood swings, especially into despair. Her relationships with the other killers were limited. She talked to & was on polite terms with any who would talk to her and not be condescending or a dick so openly she’d pick up on it (so like, on cordial terms with Evan, Herman, Caleb if she’d been there that long, but not like, Kenneth or Freddy or someone who wouldn’t bother to put up an act). But mostly, after figuring out she wasn’t really of any use to them, they quit communicating with her. Sally has been extremely isolated since shortly after being taken. She believes that the survivors are innocent and suffering and knows that they don’t deserve the hunt, but has no way to stop the whole system, and has been convinced by the Entity that if she does a good job and earns moris, the ones she strangles to death get to stay dead instead of coming back after death to suffer endlessly again, so she works very dedicatedly and slowly trying to earn kills to save them. It took her physical eyes when it got her and lets her see through it’s powers, and uses that to randomize what survivors look like in her memory so she doesn’t catch wise it’s the same people over and over and she’s not saving them at all. It’s extremely tragic. God it’s one of the most cruel Entity tricks, which is saying a lot. Poor gentle woman is Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a hill day after day year after year and she doesn’t even know how hopeless and meaningless it all is. : (

When the Vigo-Philip-Alex-Benedict team was going, though, she met and attacked, then was convinced to instead befriend them, and quickly became very attached and well liked by them. Met Lisa while with the group, and became extremely fond of her and loving towards her and was truly, truly happy for a brief period of time. Still remembers her, even as lost as all her memories are. Not her name, but what she looked like to Sally, and how her hair felt, and how nice it was. Sally would have considered everyone in that group a dear friend, and in ILM, Philip most definitely becomes her deepest, closest, and best friend, just like she does to him. She’s a very faithful woman to her soul. Loved her family, loved her husband and mourned him, worked as hard as she could. Cared for her patients, and did her best in that hell until the Entity slowly whittled away at her sanity until it broke her mind and left her convinced the only way to end their pain would be to give them death, and she had to do it to save them. Sally loves little pretty things and neatness and collections. Flowers, bows and ribbons, china and colored glass. She would have treasured gifts like decorative holiday cards and carved animal figures and left them on her mantle or carefully tucked in lovingly organized and decorated books she could open to revisit the memory. Likes dresses and skirts and the way the wind feels. Hopeful and very enduring. Loving. Had a mom heart, and will never really get entirely over the loss of her children, but is strong and kind and will find new love that makes life still worth living in other people. Will remember both kindness and cruelty a long, long time. Loved Quentin from the second he gave her flowers (Dwight: Quentin, why did the entity let you have three moms? Quentin: Because I fucking earned it >:[“ [author’s note: he did. God that poor kid...]). Loved Kate from the day she sat with her in a hospital and held her hand. Is like that. Remembers small kindness and treasures them.

Sally could definitely recover. Not all the way probably, physically or mentally, but by far enough to be complete and happy and realized and who she wants. She never meant to hurt people, so she really just needs some stability, and I think she finds that with her new family. I mean, it is a lot to adjust to. It’s been like nearly 100 years. The Entiry broke her mind, and she’s got some damage that just probably can’t ever be fixed, but a lot can be, with drugs and treatments and therapy and kindness and a good support system, and honestly, the biggest things she needs are people to keep her memories together and herself present, and influences to protect her from being manipulated and controlled now that she’s so suggestible and easy to hurt, and she’s got that. I am 100% certain that while some things—the scatteredness, the ease of slipping into other moods especially deep sadness, the different way of thinking altogether—never leave her, she gets better in the most important ways and is truly happy and quite functional and what she wants to be. While there’s no way (yet anyway lol. Cybernetics that good when?) to give her new eyes since the Entity ripped hers out, and she’s blind now, and can’t be changed, her seeing eye dog does a great job for her, and she’s very happy and adjusts well. She has a lot of friends to be her eyes, and learns to lean into what she can do and has a quite fulfilling and blissful life outside the realm in ILM.

Also: thanks for the recs! I’m going on a run soon, and I’ll add those to my iPod and give ‘em a listen if I can. Hope this answered what you wanted to know! ^u^

[lysiso]

hi how are u :D any thoughts to share

im doing pretty okay :) and yes a few my brain is always full with stuff OR nothing at all theres no in between so get reaaaaaaddyy :D

I bought moldavite and i have it for two days now ik thats like nothing its only two days right but tbh i dont feel that much and was disappointed but its only two daaays also i really do think my life's on its way to be turnt upside down like i cant explain how i know but i mean it in a good way i feel like the coming few years are going go be so transformational. Why am i (are we) not able to see or meet aliens? i would LOVE to meet a kind nice friendly benevolent alien!!! How did humanity's "intelligence" get so far to the point of it being self destructive? isn't it weird like we came from lil fish in the sea.. to blabla... to blabla.. to homo sapiens... we became so intelligent that we invented all this stuff like technology and all that and yet we NEVER learn from history, ALWAYS repeat the same mistakes and are literally KILLING the earth and other people like isn't that crazy we've become so far... just to be our own destruction thats absolutely bonkers... Why am i so awkward around thid guy from work sure i may have a teeny tiny crush on him but damn get ur shit together right lmao.. WHY is it that when i mention it's been a while since i've smoked weed people offer to go to their place and i can have some but like.. no i want weed either for myself or for me and my friends like why do people suggest that i can come over if i want i barely know u, we are just colleagues why would i wanna get high w u idk u like that... also ur double my age you weird ass man why are u even offering. More importantly why isnt my CRUSH offering... sad... i miss weed, i miss hanging out w friends, i miss being extra w makeup and outfits, i truly hope corona wont be too bad next fall bc i got big ass travel plans (im so excited abt this wtf!!!!) and i really hope i can actually go to the countries i want.... it's literally my dream. Why is banana and chocolate such a good combo? Cote d'or is the BEST chocolate ever oh my GOD it's superior. Brooklyn 99 is so funny and so good. I say i dont have a phone/social media addiction but im literally on it the entire ffin day and it's keeping me from being productive. I hate when people talk abt body positivity but then make fat people feel guilty abt wanting to lose weight or actually losing weight. I want someone to *** ** *** so bad i've been so ***** ******. I should rly start attack on titan it looks really cool, i should finish kakegurui first tho. I really wonder if someone, anyone ever had a crush on me like literally aaaaanyone?? I cant wait to go TRAVEL NEXT YEAAAAAR. Why is my best friend so fucking bad at texting... like tbh some ppl are so ffin dry over text and they always always say "yeah lmao im rly bad at texting" like bitch wym how?????? u got all the emojis and u know popular vine/tiktok memes so???????? use them????? I would love some red wine rn. I love music, but i rly don't get how like.. earbuds work i truly dont like wym the music is transfered through little wires like how like what even is music? is it also made out of 0s and 1s i truly dont get it ALSO what the FUCK is wifi and other wireless tech? like how does that WORK??? i'm like starting to think we got the whole technology thing from aliens. People who don't believe that there's other life out there are so weird.. u cant possibly start to imagine how big this galaxy is let alone th universe and u dont think there's any other life out there?? dumb. omggg i. love. any. potato. dish. yuuuuuum!! I miss Gina in b99. I have quite a few mutuals on here that i've been following for YEARS i wish i could send them all a hug. I simply don't get how you could be okay with being such a shitty person that ur a BILLIONAIRE but u dont give to others.... i wonder why people even WANT to have so much money like... up to a certain extent sure like i do believe money Can make up happy but at a certain point u already have everything u want so literally why not.. save people from dying on the streets like this is so weird. I loveeeeee this tomato-basil bread i once made i cant forget it it tasted like... pizza bread omg yum

[emybain]

hi!

ive noticed my follower count go up quite a bit recently and idk why but I feel the need to introduce myself! (idk if ive ever done one of these,,,here goes)

-im em! that's not my real name, but its what I like to go by on here:) I like my real name, but its just a little weird sharing it on the internet (although you do see it whenever I decide to post a dumb tiktok)

-youre welcome to call me whatever you like though (besides my name!) 

-im 18 and still crying like a baby over it

-she/her

-pretty sure im bi but ive never had a true crush on a girl so we’re just gonna wait and see

-im pretty busy with school and extracurriculars but I somehow find a way to be a dumbass in front of strangers

-im in band and ive played the flute since I was 11. its something I care about a lot and I spend a lot of time with a metal tube to my face:)

-I started this blog back in November 2018 with the sole purpose of having an outlet to post fanfic for the renegades fandom because it was so small at the time and only a few people had written fics. I never expected to get more than 10 notes on my first post and to be included in such an amazing fandom but here we are

-im super awkward but I try to act cool (failing miserably) on the internet

-uhhh I like blue

-my inbox and dms are ALWAYS open no matter what. I love getting messages, being able to talk to others in the fandom, and getting fic requests. you can literally come talk to me about anything and ill listen

-I want to make a profession out of writing! ive known this since I was in 6th grade and ive been writing stories and ideas since. if anyone ever wants me to write something other than fics I would be ELATED to. my current wip is killing me and I need inspiration

-im thinking about starting a book themed blog/personal lifestyle type blog on Instagram so if youd like to see my sorry excuse for a living being on more than one platform, please let me know

-I have no idea where im going to college yet (find out from all the places I applied to this month!!! including dream school!!) but as of now im planning on majoring in English and maybe a history related field and possibly minoring in music

-im a born and raised southerner in the us. yall. aint, uhhh buccees and Whataburger. 

-im currently thinking about how dumb this is and how I just want to go write a fic because no one cares

-I apologize in advance for all my stupid spamming and random posts. I hate me too and dont understand it either. 

-im here for a good time not a long time baby!!!

-if you find my tiktok its really weird and I like to think im funny

-I like learning tiktok dances while we’re on the subject and enjoy dancing quite a bit. kinda regret quitting when I was younger:(

-spread kindness!!! I know so many who deal with mental health issues and other things, myself included. you never know whats going on it someone’s life, so make sure every interaction you have with another person leaves a positive impact. there have been dozens of times where I personally could've used some random acts of kindness. it doesn't take a lot to be nice to someone:)

-on a final note idk why anyone ever decided to follow me (maybe they accidentally hit the follow button and didn't realize,,,happens to me all the time) BUT I appreciate yall and all yalls support in my writing and shit-themed blog. Have a wonderful day and stay groovy

[generallynerdy]

Role Model (Carol Danvers & Child!Reader)

Summary: Carol Danvers returns to Earth, surprised to find a familiar face among the Avengers. The little girl she saved from the Kree back in the 90s isn’t quite a little girl anymore.

Requested by Anon: Could you write a Captain Marvel x reader (platonic) where she met reader (who was a little kid) in the 90’s and saved her life from the Kree and they reunite in Endgame where reader has become a superhero? I just love the idea of Carol getting to see the impact she had on a little girl’s life. Thank you if you can!! -&

Key: (Y/N) - your name Warnings: some violence, cursing probably, cheesy fluff, i finished this request way too fast sorry not sorry Word Count: 1,447

Note: idk if this is good i just kind of did it. im trying to focus on just writing instead of beating myself up about how good a piece is. That’s how my requests built up last time

    Her breath came out in heavy gasps as her legs began to fail her, weighing her down more than anything. Her shoes were practically smoking with how fast and how long she'd been running from the creeps behind her.

This morning when she woke up, everything was fine.

She went to school as normal, came home, walked the dog, but then everything went wrong.

Aliens literally ruined her life. They broke into her house and chased after her, guns in hand. They looked relatively normal, though some had blue skin, but they were way more terrifying than most people thought aliens would be. Their green uniforms were eerie, for one thing.

So, (Y/N) ran away as fast as she possibly good. But her strength was failing and she knew she couldn't run much longer.

The little girl's exhaustion caught up with her when she missed a tree root and tripped, nearly hitting her face on the ground, but catching herself just in time. Her distraction caused her powers to flicker out, changing herself back to her normal face.

See, (Y/N) had this weird power, one that she was born with. She could change herself into anyone, taking their memories, their voice-- everything.

She'd always been careful about using it, especially to her advantage. She didn't know how these aliens figured out about her powers, much less why they were on Earth in the first place, but, to be fair, she was a little preoccupied at the moment. Maybe they'd seen her change into an adult the other day to avoid the pervy guy down the street.

(Y/N) tried to clamber back up to her feet and keep running, but a humming noise sounded before she could. Looking up, she was met with the glowing barrel of a futuristic gun, pointed straight at her face.

"Don't!" She begged, covering her face.

The gun hummed loudly and the alien went to pull the trigger, but a rumble shook the earth around them. (Y/N) opened her eyes to see what was happening, moving her arms away from her face.

A glowing ball of light careened down from the sky, headed right toward them. It descended on the aliens, who looked terrified out of their minds. The ball landed on the ground, singeing the grass around it before (Y/N) realised that it wasn't just a ball of light. It was a woman.

This blonde warrior had a similar uniform to these freaks, but it was red, blue, and yellow instead. She gave a cocky smirk before leaping into action.

(Y/N) could barely register what was happening as this lady beat the crap out of the aliens. She used her fists, her feet, and some kind of weird blast coming right from her hands. (Y/N) was in awe, jaw dropped as she remained on the ground, backing away slowly. But she couldn't help staying to watch the fight, looking up at this woman in awe.

Who is she? (Y/N) wondered, almost aloud. She’s so cool!

    With a clean right hook to the last alien's face, the woman stood victorious.

This was when she turned to (Y/N), who froze a little, slightly terrified. "Hi, there," the woman said with a small smile.

She walked over to the little girl, kneeling in front of her so as not to scare her. (Y/N) sat up a little, flinching when her hand stung slightly. She must not have gone unscathed when she fell earlier. Oh, well. It didn't hurt that badly.

"Are you okay?" The woman asked with a raised eyebrow. (Y/N) nodded slowly, so she asked another question. "What's your name?"

"(Y/N)," she mumbled.

At her reply, she received a smile. "(Y/N)'s a nice name. I'm Carol." Carol paused for a second. "Why were those guys chasing you?"

"Cause of my powers," (Y/N) whispered.

"Powers?"

Though she'd always been careful never to show anyone what she could do, the little girl felt like she could trust Carol. After all, she'd just saved her life from aliens! Wait, was Carol an alien? It didn't matter, (Y/N) supposed. If she was an alien, then she was a good one.

So, (Y/N) closed her eyes and focused, changing from herself into a kid from down the street. Then, she switched back, not really getting a chance to see Carol's reaction at first.

"I think I know why they were after you," Carol said softly.

(Y/N) tilted her head. "Why?"

"Because they thought you were a Skrull. They're aliens who can do the same thing you can," she explained.

"But I'm not."

Carol smiled. "I know that, but they didn't." She paused again. "Do you need help getting home?"

(Y/N) nodded instantly. "I know where it is, but...there's a creepy guy at the corner. He likes to talk to little kids."

"Don't worry," Carol reassured her. "I'll stay with you."

2018

When Carol Danvers decided to come back to Earth, it was sort of on a whim. See, she found this human in space with the daughter of Thanos and he was pretty determined to get home. She hadn't planned on returning to Earth for a while, especially since the Snap had happened. For one, she had other planets to deal with. For another, she didn't want to risk finding out that Marie and Monica were…

So, she returned to Earth for the first time in a long time, touching down in the backyard of what Tony Stark had called 'A Home for Misguided Assholes.'

Of course, he corrected himself, saying it was formally called the Avengers Compound, but he thought his original answer was pretty funny.

Carol put the ship down carefully on the grass, watching as Tony and Nebula exited and were met with open arms. She smiled a little at that, but quickly wiped it away, trying to remain serious around these new people.

She took a few steps toward them before she was interrupted.

"Carol?" A voice called.

Turning toward the doors of the compound that the rest of the group had exited, she found a surprisingly familiar face standing there.

    Carol wasn’t one to forget a face, especially such a sweet one. She recognised (Y/N) instantly, even though she’d only been a child when they first met. She remembered walking her home after saving her life and all the questions the kid had about her.

    She was broken by her thoughts by arms tightly wrapped around her. Though she hesitated for a second, Carol soon returned the gesture, smiling into (Y/N)’s hair.

    “I didn’t expect to see you right after landing,” Carol snorted, backing away to look at her.

    (Y/N) was a young adult now, fully capable of taking care of herself. That didn’t stop her from being excited to see Carol, of course.

    “I didn’t expect to see you at all!” (Y/N) exclaimed. “Where have you been?”

    Carol shrugged. “Space,” she said simply.

    “Uh, (Y/N), who’s your friend?” Another voice broke in.

    Steve Rogers approached warily, though his face was less determined and more concerned at the sight of the new person. She’d just saved Tony and Nebula and (Y/N) seemed to recognise her, so she was pretty good in Cap’s book.

    “Steve, this is Carol,” (Y/N) said, gesturing to her. “Carol, this is Steve Rogers. You know, Captain America.”

    “Captain America?” She asked, eyes wide. She glanced at (Y/N). “Holy shit. We have a lot to talk about.”

    (Y/N) laughed. “No kidding!”

    “What did you do to get wrapped up with Captain America and Howard Stark’s kid?” Carol questioned. “Something terrible, I’m assuming.”

    She rubbed the back of her neck. “Well, uh, I’m kind of, uh, helping them save the world lately.”

    “A superhero?” Carol asked, raising an eyebrow.

    “Yeah, pretty much,” (Y/N) admitted. She grinned proudly. “It was kind of bound to happen. I had a great role model.”

    Carol smiled. “You’re kidding.”

    “I’m not,” (Y/N) said firmly. “I wouldn’t be where I am if you hadn’t shown up.”

    “Aw,” Carol said. She then punched the girl’s shoulder lightly. “Don’t get too cheesy now. You’ll kill Captain America.”

    “My bad,” (Y/N) shrugged apologetically.

    Cap laughed and shook his head. “No, no, don’t mind me.” He paused. “(Y/N) really has told us a lot about you, though. It’s good to meet you, Danvers.”

    “Same to you,” she nodded. “It’s an honour.”

(Y/N) interrupted and took the woman’s arm, starting to drag her toward the compound. “C’mon, you have to meet the rest of team. They’re gonna love you.”

Masterlist

[dulharpa]

this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333

it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))

(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))

i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333 

i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))

ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;

anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD

far from home -  bucky x stark sister!reader

firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them

‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’

IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto

ooooooo!! the backstory coming in  👀👀

‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’

yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both 

oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them

‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’

ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow?? 

‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’ 

your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)

‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘

mood during this quarantine lol

‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘

 OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT

ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol

oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool

‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’

👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes

eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant

oh no :(( more angst

‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;

very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations! 

i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)

slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader

omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD

‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’

oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)

ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo

oh gosh

‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’

this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it 

i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad

NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!

oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg

‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”

this is so soft i stg im crying in the club

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!

anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :(( 

i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn

.

cookies and rings and things bucky and reader

‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’

did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER 

‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’  jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3

you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)

‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘

you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness

‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘

he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)

‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’

this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333

you do fluff SO WELL DAMN 

‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘

yike bringing back that reminder oof

but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love  

‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART

you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying

“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.

oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!

oh shit o am literally crying

your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy

I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E  I T 

ive spent like three hours doing this lolol 

thank you so much for everything hayley!

[comicteaparty]

March 28th-April 3rd, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble   chat that occurred from March 28th, 2020 to April 3rd, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

How many hours do you work on your comic per week, and how do you manager to balance that with other responsibilities?

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

heheh So we are.. cheating a bit Both me and my coworker are unemployed, and is working on hour comic, like was it a full time job. It is our passion project, and dream that we can work and live of makeing comics. In Denmark you can apply for grants from the government, but you need to have releashed a book before that is possible. We are useing the comic, to show potentional clients in the future what we can do. For now we are working on it from 09:00-17:00 ish (with a long lunch break) while applying for other kinds of grants, and also does all the things we are supposed to to get our unemplyment money, and searching for jobs, and freelance gigs, gathering the courage to start our own small company (not right now though) and yeaah time will tell

carcarchu

@Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS that doesn't sound like cheating to me? more like using the tools at your disposal to turn your passion into a viable career

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

hehe it feels a little like cheating! there are some debates about if it is okay or not, but we think that strengthening our skills is a good use of our time

eli [a winged tale]

Haha also not cheating! It’s great you’re using the time to chase the dream I’m curious what’s your breakdown for those time working on the comic? As for me, usually 1-2 hours a day with a bit more on the weekend if time permits. These days with the quarantine it’s about 2-3 h a day

DanitheCarutor

Since I'm unemployed until who knows when I've been working on my comic between 40-50 hours a week about 6 to 7 days a week... most weeks. Some days, like update day or chore day, I hardly work on the comic or don't work on it at all. Admittedly I'm not the best at balancing drawing with other responsibilities, sometimes I get so into it that I forget about daily house chores, other weeks I do the opposite and only do house chores which makes me totally behind of comic stuff. I can't seem to find a good middle ground, it always turns into completely focusing on one or the other.

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah when I get in the zone, time flies and life gets put to the wayside

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

So I have no school or work, so the webcomic has become almost a fulltime project for me

I average about 10 hours per day working on it, not counting on chores and exercise

Another thing I worry about is the possibility of carpal tunnel syndrome, which is why I've been relentless with exercise, too

I guess it's just a combination of relentless reminders and also sheer willpower that gets me to do other responsibilities haha

@eli [a winged tale] also I know that feeling

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

So since my school had to cancel, I have to be more responsible for my online course. Sometimes I give myself 2 days off each week to work more into my upcoming webcomic but I have to switch my mind for school work, online classes. Also extra time for food. I need to get back into exercise or I feel exhausted more easily. I keep a wall schedule so that I make it a routine to write what I'll do every 3 or 5 days, to keep my active brain reminded(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I spent the majority of last year (fun)employed (partially by choice, partially not! my previous job let me go rather unceremoniously... and I needed a hiatus anyway... so it worked out) so I poured a lot more hours into that chapter of Phantomarine than I usually did. I worked on it almost every day - at least for a couple of hours, but sometimes up to a full eight-hour day. That number has dipped tremendously since I’ve gone back to work, but I’m spreading the same amount of time out in a broader way. I’m trying to get a good buffer during my hiatus, so I can work and draw in a healthy balance. I don’t have crazy overtime at my current job like I did at my last one, so that’s already a comfort. I’m confident I’ll be able to hit a good stride once the comic returns in June (edited)

eli [a winged tale]

Can’t wait Lady!!

Feather J. Fern

Two part time jobs, and school killed my comic, but I been working on getting one panel done a day, which is around 30minutes to an hour if possible.

eli [a winged tale]

My routine used to be rendering on the commute but now just once in am and once pm until this limbo time is clarified

That’s awesome Feather! It’s so rewarding when everything comes together after putting effort everyday

Feather J. Fern

Once school is done in two more weeks I will be more free to do things so I hope to get maybe two panels done in a day XD

Online school, stupid quarantine

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Due to the pandemic im mostly off school and my part time job so i spend like 4-5 hours on my comic per day. Still would like try to get a page done per day but lmao digital painting is slowwww

eli [a winged tale]

What’s everyone’s tips for breaks/stretches/balance? I feel like I certainly need to revisit these to avoid burnout and continue feeling motivated!

Feather J. Fern

Actually there was a cool manga artist who's tip was literally he only worked working hours. His mornings are free and since manga was his job, he worked form 12-6, giving him 2 hours to do other work he needs to get done, and takes morning walks and stuff.

Another person I know had "No working weekends" as a thing becuase they are a freelancer.

I personally have try to make sure I ahve a routine, and actually, stretch before drawing.

Streetch before, during a break, and then after, to keep that body nice and warmed up

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Health-wise there's this hing for your : every 20 minutes, look at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds. I'm not good at following this, but when I do it, it helps a lot.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Despite the current pandemic, my work-life hasn't changed much (unless you count stress getting in the way). I am currently "unemployed," but I do consider comicking my full-time job. I am also not very good at balancing work and life. Something's always gotta give. Last year, I worked at a job that basically ruined my ability to work on my comic. I worked 30-40 hours typically, ruined my sleep schedule, took work home sometimes, and was constantly exhausted. This is what resulted in my year and a half long hiatus, and it's what drove me to work like hell on my comic when I quit. Now (when I'm in the groove and not suffering from art block), I typically spend 60-70 hours on my comic and get 2-3 pages done: - 30 hours sketching (I know, ridiculous) - 5 hours filling in base colors - 20-25 hours painting - 5 hours adding text, speech bubbles, sfx, and finishing touches - 1-2 hours formatting for Webtoon I also spend some time throughout the week typing up the script, doing concept art for things coming in the future of the comic, and preparing for conventions, but I can't tell you exactly how much time.

eli [a winged tale]

Thanks for the breakdown! I’m always keen to learn from everyone and seeing how the workflow is like for different people

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

oh don't forget to do wrist stretches!

eli [a winged tale]

Ahh formatting time is always so tedious for me!

Yes wrist exercises! Any recommendations?

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

hmmm well the easiest one is literally just shaking it out

like every hour

and I also like to hold my arm out parallel, point my fingers up and using my other hand to pull the fingers back so i'm stretching the wrist

then I point the fingers down and pull on the fingers until my wrist is stretching

eli [a winged tale]

Awesome. Will be adopting those!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I'm pretty fast. 2-6 hours per page, depending on how detailed it is. Average of 3-4. I could probably do 2 pages/ week easily enough, but don't want to do more than that. I'm the kind of person who always needs to be doing a million different things. I need to leave time for my other hobbies and my paintings and my academics and extracurriculars. Otherwise I'd get burnt out doing one thing only

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

@eli [a winged tale] So since it is both me and @Q (Wayfinders: Off Course) working, we start with working on a rough each, our goal is one step (so rough, ink, color) for two pages pr day, pr person. So in a weak the goal is four finished pages a week, and then we upload 3 pages per week. So it is divided that in the morning we start at 09:00 in the morning, maybe checking mail, being practical or whatever. Then we work until 12:00 were we eat lunch, go for a long nice walk and then we go back to work between 13:00 and 14:00 ish and then work until 17:00 when we begin to prepare dinner. Then of course breaks inbetween

Q (Wayfinders: Off Course)

It’s pretty wild to be able to dedicate your entire day to comics like that

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

damn you all work fast

do you guys have any tips on how to work on a webcomic faster?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Lol, I wish!

Still looking for those magical secrets

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@shadowhood (SunnyxRain) You know the 80-20 rule? You can get 80% of the result with 20% of the effort? My comic is very messy if you zoom in. I don't spend time making sure the linework or the coloring is perfectly clean. Also, I'm pretty fast at drawing figures. I used to practice figure drawing a lot by rushing to draw strangers irl before they moved, or by drawing a bunch of fast figures from the free figure drawing model websites online. I've also taken a figure drawing course (didn't even have to pay because it was part of my university! Even if you don't have that option you can probably find free life drawing sessions on Meetup or similar!) which really helped me streamline my process for drawing people

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Oh I see! Yes, I used to take life drawing classes too! And your response makes me feel a lot better

I tend to be a bit messy with inking, and since i'm a perfectionist a lot of my time is wasted on editing/clean up

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've seen cronaj draw, and while I think the results look excellent, I think her method is a kind of inefficient. She draws like a printer, nearly finishing one detailed body part before moving on the the next. I think maybe if she drew in a more classical way, going from a gesture drawing to progressively more detailed, it might help her be faster and her poses more cohesive and dynamic. Maybe working on 1 or 5 min figures would help? Practicing things like this?

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah I try to do figure practices for efficiency

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I heard that there are some online life drawing vids you can follow too

but what are your experiences with online life drawing vids versus the real thing

like is there a real difference?

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

found some of my old 1 minutes

To me there's not too much difference

I've heard some people say that life drawing is either way easier or way harder though. Because of your depth perception when looking at a real person

But the bruises on my legs can attest to my horrid depth perception haha. That might be why I don't notice a difference

Actually those previous sketches might be 30 seconds? I don't remember

I would recommend you try both but right now we pretty much only have the online option haha

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah I’ve done both and I think irl creates complexity with depth and the interactions with others etc is helpful but online is my go to for flexibility

I think having a process streamlined will make things more efficient. The downside is that it might feel tedious and I do switch it up from time to time for variety

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Might feel uncomfortable but that's how you know you're improving

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

There is a TON of difference for me. I HAVE to look at a physical model in front of me.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Can't get better if you always do the same things

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

This is what my brain does.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I wonder- could drawing yourself in a mirror be a decent substitute?

If youre lucky you might also be able to ask an SO or roommate to model for you. Should probably pay them back by cooking for them or something though

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Brain: sees a real model in front of me Brain: translates 3D to 2D, result: drawing Brain: sees a photo/video of a model Brain: SHIT. That's supposed to be 3D, isn't it? Brain: Translates 2D to 3D (basically re-constructing it in my head, or attempting to re-construct) so that it can translate it back to 2D Brain: BSOD

There's some online resources out there that have "3D" photos... you know, two near-identical images side by side, so if you look at it cross-eyed, it becomes 3D?

But I can't do those because I get a headache X'D

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Just thinking about drawing from that makes me dizzy

eli [a winged tale]

Oh interesting!

Yeah maybe looking out the window to draw people would be the way to go...

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But maybe figure drawing in VR exists?

eli [a winged tale]

Balcony figure drawings

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I live on the top floor so those are going to be some very small figures

eli [a winged tale]

For ants

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Once this coronavirus thing is over, there's lots of ways you can do gesture drawings from just random people -- bus stops, cafes, museums (I have not done this, but people who have done this report this is really good because others assume you're drawing the artworks. XD)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've done this a lot

Sometimes I've even shown people drawing of themselves if they've turned out particularly nice

They've always taken it well

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I like drawing my professors because they use hand gestures a lot when they talk

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Airport was REALLY good for finding people stuck in one pose indefinitely

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

they alwayas laugh when I show them

eli [a winged tale]

Shadow omg I do that too

Draws classmates

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

yeah the only issue i have with drawing classmates

is that they're always doing the "i'm using my phone" pose

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Become the master of drawing people on their phones

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Maybe try drawing children on the playground?

This works better if you're a woman

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

oh thank jesus

I also like going to the zoo or the museum

or the aquarium if i'm feeling adventurous

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I am a University student so I also have some pretty interestng drawings of people asleep in weird poses

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I really need to start going to weekly figure drawing sessions once this is over (there's one here... 20 min drive... 8AM Saturdays )

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

ditto or just go to the park and draw

and @Eightfish (Puppeteer) I've had some.....weird poses from all my profs

one guy was incredibly hard to draw; he was VERY enthusiastic about showing us knife skills

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The parks here are too spacious, to a degree where it's weird to get close enough to people

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Bring binoculars

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Don't worry ma'am I'm an artist

nothing sketchy

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

(except my sketch)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

A+ pun right there

another place to go for figure drawing

theaters

like.....opera/plays

I once tried drawing the men dancing in the Newsies musical

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Tried that once, but it took me out of the performance

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

same i was dazzled by dancing men

aaaaand then i abandoned sketching at all when they started throwing newspaper strips into the audience

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But they were giving you free paper!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

THEY WERE

i'll take what i can get

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) While I agree that my method of drawing is "inefficient," I do not draw like a printer. There are videos of people drawing like a printer and it's not what I'm doing. I have done gesture drawing before, but it always looked incredibly abstract, and not quite like people, which is fine, but not what I'm going for. I treat gesture drawing like a warm-up exercise. It doesn't really do anything for my end result, but gets my drawing muscles stretched out.(edited)

eli [a winged tale]

Gesture drawings are definitely a good warmup!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Perhaps it was an inappropriate analogy. What works for me I guess wouldn't work for everyone. I was trying to offer advice because whenever you talk about how much time you spend on art and you work life balance it's commendable but also dismaying. I hope you find something that works for you in the future

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Oh god.. I sometimes work 6 hours a day. I guess thats like 30 hours a week? Crazy to think about, it's like a full job

Oooh you guys are sharing figure drawings... I swant to show some of mine

Behold

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My figure drawing usually breaks down into like, medical anatomy study. I feel like I understand body shapes better by including the muscles & bones

carcarchu

ABS the most important figure study

Deo101 [Millennium]

ah figure drawing? I love figure drawing ^^

I do like a lot but this kinda thing is most of it

anyways as for the question at hand, I do a lot of different things for my comics weekly. My millennium pages take me 2-6 hours i would say, but I also have patreon things I need to do so I'd say i spend 10-15 hours on it a week. for my other comic, I spend about 6 hours an update, and it updates every other week. but honestly, all of my free time goes to assorted comics. If i'm not working on school work or chatting with people, I'm working on things for patreon, potential merch, or other comics I want to start sometime.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Oooh nice poses!!’

Deo101 [Millennium]

thanks!! I have a ton of gesture/figure drawings but these ones are my most recent that I have saved to my computer i think

10 minutes im pretty sure. very good for speeding up

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Those look really nice, good values

Deo101 [Millennium]

thanks ^^ I really hate working in charcoal honestly, it kinda always winds up hurting my body somehow, but its very quick sooooooo

kayotics

My answer for the prompt question has changed a lot since I started quarantine lmao... I used to do about 10 hours of work throughout the week on my comic page (usually after work, I have an office job) but ironically it’s gotten harder while I work from home. I’ve been struggling to find time since I don’t have a separation between work and home now, and putting the boundaries up of “I’m not always available” to coworkers is difficult.

Also on figure studies: they’re a great way to practice speed. I use the concepts of figure drawings all the time.

RebelVampire

@kayotics As someone who always works from home doing remote contract work, I have to say I think this is something a lot of people underestimate about work at home life. In that it's sometimes really difficult to establish boundaries with ppl and make them understand you aren't always available and also aren't gonna work billions of hours of overtime. So I'm sorry to hear that's affecting your comic work.

Shadowmark Productions

I work anywhere from 6-8 hours a day on comic stuff. That’s an average though. Sometimes I slack and need to pull all nighters to make up for it. Yes, I am terrible at time management. They say entrepreneurs are the only people willing to work 80 hours a week for themselves so they do not have to work 40 hours a week for someone else. I guess webcomic creators are the only people willing to work 80+ hours a week so that they can... go to work for someone else afterwards

AntiBunny

4 days of procrastinating, 1 of procrastinating and hating myself, and 2 of actual comic drawing seems to make up my weekly comic making schedule. :p

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I can only imagine how stressed I would be if I forced myself to update weekly

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

This is a hard question to answer because it varies a lot depending on my energy levels. Ideally I’d spend several hours a day on comics, but realistically I draw as much as possible when I have the energy (5+ hours a day for as many days in a row as I can handle it) and then go weeks or months too tired to do comics. On average, barring any long periods of exhaustion or other interruptions from RL, I spend about 20+ hours a week making pages for my comics.

sagaholmgaard

I prefer to work on my comic for about an hour ever morning and maybe 2-3 hours in the evening, that's the ideal routine for me. Right now I sadly have a lot of schoolwork to do (writing my thesis) so i might get less than 30 minutes in the morning and then feel rlly tired in the evening so I dont get as much time then either. but oh well!

I can still work for 4-5 hours on the weekends so I manage ^^(edited)

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

The whole stay-indoors order's currently completely wrecked my pattern, but before that I did between 3-4 hours a day.

Shadowmark Productions

Can’t imagine the stress of a daily or even weekly posting schedule. Hats off.

[yuhoht-t]

For the ask thing do 1 through 50 please because you're cool

OH my god. WHO ARE YOU because i Hate you now omg

but okay here we go:

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

BI! i am bi bi bi :)

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

right now? here in the year of our lord 2020? at 9:25 am?? march 11th? nothing, my brain is a little preoccupied atm with the absolute stupidity of the american college system 

3. Ever done any drugs?

i have not, sometimes i want to, but then simply do not

4. What piercings do you want?

i kinda want snake bites? or maybe a second ear piercing. but im not really sure

 5. How many people have you kissed?

uno 

and honestly? it kinda sucked?

6. Describe your dream home.

a cottage situated in a nice little cliff-side meadow, a beautiful forest to one side and the ocean to the other. I have a small little garden for herbs and easier to grow staples. Maybe a couple of chickens. There’s a whole room, maybe even a whole other structure, dedicated to just being my art studio. It almost definitely smells like oil paint and graphite. There also has to be a large bay window with a seat, two floor to ceiling bookcases on either side. 

There’s a lot more I could say, but basically look up cottagecore/goblincore/dark academia and that’s basically it

7. Who are you jealous of?

anyone who gets to go to art school

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

usually it’s a mix between parks n rec and the office

9. Do you watch porn?

i am an adult

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

oohohohohahahahaaaaaa, yes. many actually

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

question. am i immune to any diseases in the region? if yes. can i just take the teleporter and go wherever? there are too many places i want to go

but really i suppose, Ireland? I mean it is March

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

that someone likes me

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

no i don’t think so. it just kinda sounds a little uncomfortable. but it is pretty hot i won’t lie

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

art school. i mean i’d have to see if i get in first! but then after that i’d give the rest to my mom. i owe her and if i ever get the chance i will be paying her back.

15. Are you in a relationship?

bitch? who do you think i am? what do you think i look like? of course fucking not. 

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

[this image violates tumblrs guidelines]

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

yes. is it petty? also yes. but it’s affecting my sleep and how comfortable i am in my environment so i think actually kind of justified. 

18. What tattoos do you want?

i want a design with poppies and lavender and maybe my mountain, and i’d like to have it, well, let me see if i can find a picture 

like this

but it’s kind of a pipe dream since tattoos are expensive and hurt lol

or this:

AHAAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAAA 

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

so, heres the thing, i don’t technically mind my name. it’s a good name. it’s gender neutral both in long form and my preferred nickname. BUT. it is very common and i certainly don’t actually love it all that much. However, i have no fucking clue what i’d change it to.  

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

internet culture. i don’t usually talk about it, but i absolutely love culture and specifically the cultures that have been cultivated from the internet. it’s so cool!

21. Describe your best friend.

okay, so, she’s amazing. extremely talented and smart. and honestly has the coolest style of anyone i’ve ever met. the biggest gemini bitch you’ve ever met and i love her for it. she knows so much about horror and movies and is just really informed about so many interesting things. And she’s not afraid to get into politics and religion and all that “taboo” stuff. she’s actually taught me so many things! she’s great n i don’t get to gush often about the people i genuinely like in this world so yeah. also, she HOT AS SHIT N EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS DUMB IF THEY DON AGREEEEEE

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

ahahhhahahhahahahhaaaaa no. 

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

- Ghost

- Gorillaz 

- Phoebe Bridgers

- Orville Peck

- FIDLAR

(okay, so I was doing this and really there are too many, this is not a great list but I think it covers the range of taste???)

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Japan, Italy (for the art), and ummm, probably Iceland (for the continental divide)

 25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

this gonna sound so sad but, literally, all of my roommates leave and i get to spend it in solitude doing whatever the fuck i want without having to worry about being watched (that’s what we call paranoia kids!)

26. What’s your favorite season?

it depends. but right now i’m jonesin’ for some good ol’ fashioned summer thunderstorms. 

27. What’s your pet peeve?

people

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

me bitch, next question

nah i’m kidding, maybe my little brother? or maybe my friend Shareeza? there is somethin about that girl that just makes me die every time she talks

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

maybe because it’s been a long time, but like, Frozen? idk. it’s what my intuition is telling me so ima go with that.

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

you know i’m not really sure at this moment, but straight up, this is now an open call for anyone who wants to message me, shy or not, i promise i’ll answer lol ^-^

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

paper, obviously. who do you think i am?

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

maybe Spiderwick Chronicles? I love the idea of being able to actually see the fey. or really any world where there’s a hint of me possibly being able to actually have magic or a magical experience. 

 33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

ALL

34. What’s your coffee order?

carmel mocha, if i’m paying for coffee i want it to taste like pure caffeinated sugar

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

maybe? i have a hard time deciphering those types of feelings 

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

don’t got none. for past crushes tho? i’m not really sure. 

37. Have any tattoos?

no 

38. Do you drink?

no

39. Are you a virgin?

i don’t have to answer this, do i? 

(that basically is an answer)

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

again, hard time with understanding romantic feelings. 

41. How many followers do you have?

642

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

i feel a liiitlel uncomfortable with this question. and on those grounds i don’t think i’m gonna answer it. 

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

not killing myself :)

44. Do you read erotica?

no

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

too fresh bro, mmmm can’t open up those wounds quite yet

46. How many people do you follow?

293

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

maybe Jameela Jamil? she’s just so pretty and smart

or maybe David Tennant cause like. i’ve had a crush on him since my doctor who days so really, why not

48. Describe your ideal partner.

willing to go to battle for and with me. and against me. 

also it’s important that they’re understanding of me and my struggles, as well as accepting my points of view as my truth and not belittle me for having them. And be willing to give there all in these aspects because I will give my all in these ways for them. That’s just how i work. 

49. Who do you text the most?

oh idk, maybe my mom? 

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

clouds. and wind. i like to feel like i’m gonna blow away

okay, jeezus, this was a lot. I hope one of you fuckers actually reads this

[bigskydreaming]

fhalkfhaklfhlkak i hate this

TW really truly literally ruined the word ‘spark’ for me. Like the whole damn word. I hear it now and I’m like, NOPE, like...idk, some people who cringe when they hear the word moist or panties. Apologies to anyone who hates those words and cringed, i dont actually know if thats a thing or if like, I just have weird friends. Probably just the latter.

But anyways, Im just like...lmfao. Its so visceral too? Like I have this one original project, Waveriders, that I’ve been fiddling with off and on in the background of other projects for awhile, might have talked about it on here, idk, I don’t keep track. 

Basically its a far future sci-fi novel/setting for linked shorter works set on a gas giant that was settled by humans who figured that they can’t possibly be stepping on anyone’s toes there, its a freaking gas giant, hello, no one’s home, right? They literally have to make their own ground by using technology to form anti-gravity wells in the habitable zone of the atmosphere and like, make floating cities and then these kind of buoys scattered across the planet that create these electromagnetic currents that flow in specific ‘routes’ between the cities, and people travel between them in these flying ships that use magnetized hulls and solar sails to ride these currents, and blah blah blah, yada yada yada, bc like, why would I resist an opportunity to have floating cities and sky pirates and ancient cyborg machine dragons? Doesn’t make sense. 

Anyway, so couple thousand years after settling this planet, and by then for Plotty Reasons there are people who have what’s called waveriding abilities, like they can ‘hack’ certain wavelengths or types of energy and manipulate them in various ways, but only one kind of energy per person, and they each have their own little names and niches. 

So, y’know, basically just like ATLA, except for like, its energy powers and there are cyborg machine dragons and floating cities and sky pirates, obvsly. Plus areas of totally fucked up gravity called the badlands that are all like, criminal underworld metropolis because normal people are like lol nope, we like it when up is up and down is down, all of this is very just...nope. And also because shocking and totally unexpected plot twist, they were totally wrong about the planet being uninhabited just cuz it didn’t have Earth type ground...like, so in addition and on top of and in conjunction with all of the above and whatnot, there are these beings called Chaos Angels, that are basically like sentient quantum waveforms that can take any shape or appearance, but just, have no physical substance and yet are really good at faking that they’re not totally there when they fuck with humans, which they do a lot, because well. Why not, y’know?

But other than that, its exactly like ATLA. I’m a derivative hack. I disgust myself, truly I do.

BUT the point of this particular synaptic misfire aka ADHD ramble, is that so, okay, these different types of not!benders are all called waveriders as an overall umbrella term, but with ten different subsets of this in total, right? So people who can ‘hack’ light and manipulate it in various ways are called brightriders, and people who are tuned into soundwaves are called echo-riders, and some can manipulate the more electricity-skewed side of the electromagnetic spectrum and those are shockriders and the ones who skew more to the magnetic side are steelriders but I’m probably gonna change that because it sounds like a porno? Yeah no, just saw it outside of my notes for the first time and can confirm, definitely sounds like a porno so they’re not gonna be called steel-riders, but they will be called something steel-rider-esque. You get it.

And then there are the five weird ones that people aren’t totally quite sure how their waveriding shticks work because the kinds of energy they hack aren’t like....the kinds that work in the same way as the others with their easily discernible and patternistic wavelengths, and scientists and scholars are always arguing like but skyriders aren’t even in the same FIELD as the other waverider types because gravity isn’t even an actual ENERGY, just because we talk about gravity waves doesn’t mean they’re remotely the same thing as lightwaves, they make no SENSE, and I’m just like hahaha, I am your god, fictional scientists. Fucking deal with it. Plus it does make sense, you just don’t know the Secret Rules and Logistics that I do, pfft. 

Anyway, so the other types are boomriders who hack kinetic energy and skyriders of course obviously manipulate gravity, and then the last three are really weird, and super rare and thus don’t really have set names and just have lots of nicknames and are often just thought to be rumors. So those are the bio-riders who manipulate chemical energy though it often gets mistakenly referred to or just handwaved as being ‘life energy’ as though that’s a thing, ugh future way advanced people are so dumb sometimes, honestly. But so they can manipulate biological processes in various ways and do things with healing and also hurting, and basically just don’t piss one off ever. Like. You’ll die. And then there’s the psi-riders, who are essentially psychics and hack brainwaves, and I’m not at all bitter that I lack the balls to just go for broke and call them ghost riders like I want to, because ghost riders obviously sounds way cooler?? But also, Marvel would definitely sue?? Because they’re just, like that. 

And like, the last of the Weird Ones are the ones so super rare and also so hard to actually....tell if someone actually IS one, that most people think they don’t actually even exist and are just an unsubstantiated like, theoretical idea some scientist had once while high and then just, never shut up about so eventually the idea caught on. And those are the quantum-riders, or luck-riders, basically they theoretically manipulate quantum wavelengths in ways that are almost impossible to identify, like theoretically they wouldn’t even know they were doing it? Anyway, so lots of times, what are actually quantum-riders are just jealously thought to be like, really fucking lucky assholes. Even though the way their powers work really don’t have anything to do with luck or even probability, specifically, like that’s a simplistic approximation and its more like they manipulate possibilities but also shut up me, nobody cares.

ANYWAY, people who can count and who actually bothered to would probably notice by now like the funky little geniuses they are that all of those still only adds up to nine. And that’s because of the last one, the one that SHOULD go up in the brightrider, shockrider, notpornIswear!steel-rider hierarchy or taxidermy or whatever the fuck. And these are the ones who manipulate what’s essentially thermal energy, or more accurately the microwave-skewing side of the ultraviolet spectrum whereas brightriders are just the ones who skew more to the infrared side of it.

And the long and short of all of this Unnecessary-ness and the source of my fit of pique and ensuing ramble-palooza....is that ORIGINALLY, they were SUPPOSED to be called sparkriders.

But OBVIOUSLY I can’t call them that anymore, because like. I tried, and I was like ugh you drama queen slash whiny pissbaby, it was just a shitty teen supernatural show and SPARK WAS NEVER EVEN CANON, do not let THEM win and ruin a perfectly good classification name! But I did. I did let it ruin them, and its. Well. Its a problem, because I kept thinking up ways to kill off the sparkrider characters for absolutely no reason at all instead of like....thinking up ways to make the plot do what it was outlined to do in their parts of the story.

This may come like, way out of left field, and just SHOCK and STUN and BEWILDER some of you, like....no way, srsly? But yeah, true story, among my many canon mental neuroses like ADHD, PTSD, magical depression hour and super fun anxiety like....there is a tiny possibility (aka actual diagnosis) that while I don’t talk about this much, or ever really, I do have a smidge of ye old OCD? Its not like, a big thing and doesn’t really affect my daily routines and that’s pretty much why I never usually bring it up or list it alongside the rest of the crap on my neurodivergence resumé or whatever, because like, there’s already WAY too many misconceptions out there about what OCD actually is and what constitutes it, and tons of people are always jokingly but also thinking they’re kinda half serious, like ‘oh I’m so OCD about this and this and that’ and its like. LOL. Are you though? You sure?

Anyway, but point being, the way mine manifests for me is like...not actually a problem? Like, I don’t actually have any REAL complaints about it at all, just half-assed little fits of pique ones like this, which is the other part of why I never bring it up, because too often ppl just can’t fathom that OCD or even any kind of neurodivergence can be...WANTED, or a good thing, and lololol, that’s ableism, folks. But its true, I don’t actually mind mine at all, even if it occasionally makes things frustrating, when I get stuck like I am now. But the flip side of it is....its actually a pretty huge part of my creativity and just the way my mind works in general....like, what people accredit to me being particularly insightful about character analysis or drawing connections or stuff like that in meta or fics or my novels or worldbuilding...that’s what it is. That’s my OCD in action. 

My brain like...REQUIRES that I find patterns in....pretty much everything. Even day to day mundane stuff too, though like I said, its mild enough there that it doesn’t fuck with my routines too much, but like, I have to order things into nice, neat patterns and groupings. And if there aren’t any that are immediately obvious, I kinda pretty much HAVE to dig deeper until I find some on a slightly deeper level, something beneath the surface or first glance, and keep going until I find something.....or worst case scenario, I have to like....add stuff and embellish and fill in gaps with my own ‘content’ until I have the rough edges rounded off into something that CAN be stacked neatly atop some other part of the story or whatever it is I’m focusing on? And the obsessive-compulsive part for me is like, lol, I gotta find it SOMEWHERE, SOMEHOW. 

My brain literally won’t shut off or grudgingly accept being diverted to a different subject until I’ve made some kind of pattern or flowchart or classification system. It will literally keep me up for hours, going over the same things over and over from every angle until I find SOME way to....reassemble or restructure it in some nice, neat little order of some type. I mean that’s basically what it is. My brain insists on me forming some semblance of order out of any glimpse I have of what I would otherwise term creative chaos. And it won’t give up until it gets what it wants, which when you throw in my ADHD and how often I’ll get derailed off on slight tangents but with my OCD then sooner or later forcing me back to the original focus, rinse and repeat ad nauseam....like. LOL. I learned to operate on very little sleep from a pretty young age by necessity, its just...my brain, dudes. Its just like that.

But the perks are like, I pretty much think this is WHY I’m so creative....because my brain, for as long as I can remember, has always just kinda....forced me to be? Also probably has a lot to do with well...eh, I don’t need to talk about that right now. Whatever. Anyway, point being, so....I do like the end results very much so, and for all its....Why Must You Be Like This eccentricities, I’m quite attached to my brain and would not be very likely to agree to a trade even were one possible. I mean don’t get me wrong, I could do without the PTSD and anxiety, if we’re just, like....talking some pruning shears or whatever, but the actual creative machinery, I’m keeping. Ultimately it just means I really fucking like patterns and finding patterns or making patterns where previously there were none, or at least none that were easy to spot.

But ugh, man, these are the rare times when I’m like omg, just call it a day, we don’t ACTUALLY have to come up with the perfect replacement name for that one relatively small and insignificant detail of a much larger story that isn’t even in the Top Ten list of my main priorities at the moment. And my asshole of a brain is just like....yeah no, we gotta. You know the rules dude, you decided it was official, that name didn’t work anymore and was never gonna, so now we gotta find a replacement or else things will be UNEVEN?? The pattern will be...missing a piece? There will be CHAOS AND ANARCHY IN THE STREETS THAT RUNNETH OVER WITH BLOOD? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT??

And so I’m like....literally sitting here googling synonyms for spark because I’m just like that sometimes, lmfao. Oh and of course its gotta be a GOOD replacement, naturally. I can’t just shoehorn in a somewhat acceptable substitute that in the back of my mind I’m expecting to only be temporary, until I come up with something better. See, because my brain will KNOW, and it will NOT be okay with that, because that is CHEATING. And my brain, apparently, has strong feelings about cheating, which is weird and fairly unexpected of me, IMO.

Anyway, kudos to anyone who actually read through that instead of scrolling, I honestly have zero idea why I felt like sharing it, I just did and thus I did. *shrugs* 

[alittleoptimistic]

Favorite Character Tropes as Wish Fulfillment?

I wrote that title after I analyzed this stuff because I realized a thing about myself I was unaware of. I always get attached to the Same Character. Like, they are literally the same person in different stories. And I want to know why. So I did a little digging and thinking and all that good, good stuff. 

Here are a few examples of my typical favorite character

Charlie from Lost

Virgil from Sanders Sides

Philip from Travelers

the Doctor from Doctor Who (specifically 10)

Klaus from Umbrella Academy

Stiles from Teen Wolf

Riley from Sense 8

Cisco from Flash

Peter Pan from any version of this story

Jim from the Office

Peter from Heroes

Merlin from Merlin

Will from Hannibal

Felix from Orphan Black

Chuck from Chuck

Josh (the werewolf ) from Being Human

Jessica from Jessica Jones

Castiel from Supernatural

Loki from Marvel

Skylar from Heroes

Sherlock from Sherlock

Zuko from The Last Airbender

Killian from Once Upon a Time

I could probably find more but you get the idea

General similarities seem to be:

out of 23

21 are male?

15 have some type of addiction/problem they have difficulty controlling? (drugs, attention, adventure, eating people, killing people, ya know, etc)

17 have a secret

‘neuro-divergent’ in some way? (ADD, PTSD anxiety, depression, something? the kids are not alright)

All 23 have grey morals (probably chaotic good-ish? they all would break the rules for a good reason or get what they want)

19 have a crappy homelife/large tragedy in the past

20 have ‘superpowers/special ability’

18 are physically weak in appearance

18 are Underdogs, underestimated but actually powerful/very intelligent?

7 have a redemption arch

17 have dark hair lol

18 have a sarcastic, sense of humor

14 talk too much

mostly white in one form or another :/

So... why?? Why do I tend to like these characters more than others?

male. I am female and there are a few female characters that I LOVE. They happen, but, in all honesty, they are far and few in between. Wonder Woman, Jessica Jones, Hermione, Rey, Riley, Rory (Gilmore girls) Perhaps it is the way girls are often written? I like Jessica Jones because she is a hilarious mess and I relate. Same with... all of the ones I like, actually. They have that grey-moral vibe of real people, but lack the sexy Cat Woman, I’m-so-bad-I-can-kill-you-with-my-massive-butt-and-boobs?? Thing?? yeah? how unfortunate. They are small breasted or, at least, that is not drawn attention to too much. Could it be. holy moly, ya’ll. could it be I like women characters when they’re written... like people? like. like, as if girls are screwed up humans! not objects?? isn’t that incredible.

srry but not srry

an addiction. now, why do I tend to go here? Its a kind of a painful trope. They always go back, and back and back again to what we know is horrible for them. Perhaps there is enjoyment in watching the struggle and seeing them inevitably win their struggle, whatever it is? The strength to conquer the darkness within themselves and do the right thing. It might just make you think you can conquer your own battles?? Maybe I feel like I can relate in some sort of way, going back to old habits, struggling to be the person I want to be. Year after year of the same new year goals...

a secret. This is honestly just a nice trope and its neat, fun writing. Creates tension, and it is usually connected to the addiction. You get invested in this secret!!! It builds up to the inevitable discovery of that secret and the aftermath and all the reactions of their friends. (merlin, Will graham, chuck, etc.)

Neurodivergent. I think this is just me relating to these people. I have bouts of depression and anxiety and am currently researching the possibility of having ADD (thats a whole new weird thing idek) so this is just something that I think I see in myself.

Grey-morals. Again. This is my moral alignment, shocker. So, again, me relating to the characters. Also, characters that obviously have flaws are just well-written, well-rounded characters? No one is actually Clark Kent. characters that seem perfect either come off as plastic and fake because real people do not act like that, or they come off as kind of creepy?? because they must have some darkness lurking beneath the surface (when this is done on purpose, i actually like this quite a lot. Rose Quartz is an example of a character who seemed perfect on the surface, but as the show moved on, is revealed to be a Real Disaster Queen. she isn’t evil, just kind of a brat, but that redeemed what seemed to be sloppy storytelling because it was realistic)

Tragic past. This is just something that authors give to Disaster People to justify their screwed-up-ness. Course, not all of them had tragic pasts, but something bad happened to all of them (except Jim from the Office I think??, but then again, that is a sitcom...)

Special Ability Again, wish fulfillment. Not even gonna lie. I often feel powerless and out of control, this Freaks Me Out. I think there is comfort in seeing the ‘little guy’ (aka le me) having with a BAMF hashtag

 Weak And once more on Relatable-Station. This is in connection with relating to feeling and looking powerless, but finding comfort in the secret strength these characters have whether through supernatural means, superior intelligence, biting humor, a quick tongue, etc.

Underestimated the cap on this trio. The last 3 points could be summed up as one thing. A weak, underestimated person actually has some secret strength. These characters might just be a coping mechanism I have to deal with feeling weak and overlooked and powerless, whether or not those feelings accurately portray reality. I wonder where those feelings came from in the first place.

A redemption arch This trope is often a result of having grey morals. These also help deal with feelings of inadequacy or guilt in the reader?? It makes you think, if they can be loved, surely I can. (i am really dragging myself in this post, which was not the plan lol but here we are) 

Dark hair/brown hair. I have dark hair, I also wanted black hair as a child and found it very beautiful. Also, I think the dark hair goes with the personality trope as a Screw Up. Not gonna lie, messy brown/black hair on boys and girls, honestly, but the short messy thing, is great. and when they go evil for a bit and the hair gets Extra Messy?? That. That’s. Good. (for reference see: Stiles, Killian, Peter, Virgil, Loki)

Sarcastic my flavor of humor. this is turning into the realization that we do, in fact, like characters we relate to the most. I thought that might be far fetched because I’m ‘nothing like’ these characters, but let's get real. They’re me but as a cute boy or girl.

Talk too much This isn’t me. but This is who I want to be, I think. I’ve always struggled with anxiety about being the quiet one while my brother was so much better at talking, making friends, etc. so this is, again, wish fulfillment. i swear i didn’t think this was going to be this self-indulgent but i obviously was wrong

White They aren’t all white. Zuko is Asian. Cisco’s actor is Columbian American. But that’s... thats a really small amount of diversity. Like, I’m concerned. (when i say white btw, I don’t mean just American or British or whatever, because there are characters on here that are from all over. I just mean overall white-looking for the sake of this analysis) 

So, First Hypothesis: prejudice is very ingrained and even with good intentions, i could be subconsciously avoiding characters that are POC??? If this is all a ‘projecting myself’ thing, then I relate to white people the most? Im sure im screwing this up, but i’m not gonna chicken out and avoid this because thats what I’d usually do to keep from dumbly saying something offensive, but if I dont address a problem, then no one is getting anywhere 

Second Hypothesis: Its been known the fiction industry as a whole has a problem with representation,,, I don’t want to discount me being white, but I don’t think this is just me and my tiny entitled butt. There probably isn’t as much access to that type of character for POC. How often do creators have well-rounded, stick-around-for-a-long-time, flawed, funny, sometimes-problematic-but-well-meaning characters that are also POC? not often enough. Maybe it’s not always on purpose. But because of ‘Diversity Points’, character development might get pushed aside, and then the character’s personality becomes Their Race, which is... a crappy way to build a character? The industry has a hard enough time with diversity in general. Maybe people just don't write POC as that type of character. Which makes characters like Cisco unique. I’ve never even thought about that... Good on you, Flash writer crew.

let's fix this??

need more Ciscos???

 if any POC feels inclined to call me out on my bull or give their insight (only if you want to, of course), pls do.

In conclusion: this was interesting, and it makes sense, I guess, why people like different types of characters if their favorite characters are projections in one way or another of them. I’m not saying that we all relate to our favorite characters, but me, because I have this weird, dozen or more of the same type of character that I love, it might be reasonable to assume there’s something about that character I see in myself or wish I saw in myself? Anyway, an interesting thought. What do you guys think? Do you see yourself in your favorite characters?

This has been an honest essay that got too long. I wish I was as invested in writing school essays as I am in Tumblr posts.

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Chapter 21: The Rappest Conversation

Also on ao3

It was your self-imposed day off, so you started the day by sleeping until afternoon. After making yourself breakfast and eating it, you played Slime Rancher for about two hours because it was a nice relaxing game that Roxy bought you for Gristmas last year.

Everything was peaceful. Nothing could possibly ruin this.

Oh look. John was pestering you. You hadn't talked to him in while, even though he was your best bro. You guessed both of you have been pretty busy lately.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

EB: hey, dave! EB: we haven’t spoken in ages!

TG: yeah man its been entirely too long TG: ive turned to dust while you were gone TG: ive become one with the desert and sand TG: im the sand on the beach that gets stuck inside an oyster TG: and the oyster is like what the hell are you doing here you dumbass motherfucking sand TG: im here to ruin your life oyster TG: thats basically my job TG: why are you doing this you tiny bit of sand TG: i already answered that question TG: okay fine be that way says the oyster TG: ill just turn you into a pearl so that youre no longer stabbing me everywhere TG: and then i was transformed into a dope ass pearl TG: the prettiest goddamn pearl in all the land TG: im turned into one of a pair of earrings that are sold for more that your life is worth TG: im bought by a rich woman looking for jewelry to show off TG: its passed down through the generations until the wealth they had dwindles and runs out TG: so now the earrings are sold for a dollar just to get the money for food that night TG: its a tragic tale TG: anyway TG: how are you doing

EB: dave, did you copy and paste an entire act of a play into this chat?

TG: what no TG: it is all natural and organic typing from scratch going on here TG: absolutely no foul play involved and to even imply such is an insult to my craft

EB: alright, fine! EB: i will not insult your “masterpiece” anymore. EB: if you can even call it that.

TG: oh wow sick burn TG: but like seriously speaking how is your stuff going TG: like the comedy stuff TG: have you yet to release an hour long special containing your hilarious jokes TG: and like half of the time is taken up by people laughing at them so its not even a true hour long special its more like a half hour long special and you didnt even manage to make it through all the material you had prepared TG: you know like you did in school where you accidentally prepared too much for a presentation and then get cut off because your time is up TG: and you still have like an hour and half left of material that youve collected that ended up just being a pile of wasted effort

EB: maybe not to that extreme. EB: :P EB: i haven't gotten my show up on netflix yet, but i am certainly planning on it! EB: watch out for it!

TG: do you still have that one person booing you at a bunch of your shows

EB: yeah, it is getting pretty annoying at this point, but i don't really want to do something like call security to remove someone for booing at my show. EB: that just seems as little bit over kill.

TG: i thought you were going to do a comedy sketch about them

EB: oh yeah! EB: i forgot about that.

TG: who are you jade harley

EB: what! EB: jade is great at remembering things!

TG: shes really not she just has a really fucking good system for making certain she remembers things TG: she has to build a physical barrier to her door so that she doesnt forget her keys TG: and she has so many keys to her house they are literally everywhere

EB: huh. EB: i guess i havent really visited jade in a while, have i?

TG: i would highly recommend going to her place at some point TG: and just hanging out with her in general TG: although youd probably have to plan a whole trip for it TG: just like TG: drop by or whatever next time youre where shes currently living

EB: messaging her might be a little bit more practical.

TG: yeah probably TG: anyway you really should get on writing that sketch about the lady I booing you

EB: yeah probably.

TG: yeah man how else are you going to get back at her TG: also when you finally do perform it please tell me what happened TG: or send me a recording of it TG: jk ill buy the recording TG: i always buy the recordings of your shows TG: but youll have to tell me which recording its in so that i can prepare myself

EB: maybe i won’t tell you which recording it’s in just so you're surprised by it. EB: like a schrodinger’s recording.

TG: does that mean you might be dead in one of them

EB: i hate to tell you this now dave, but i’m actually a ghost.

TG: shit ive been friends with a ghost this whole time thats actually pretty fucking dope TG: how do you do comedy sketches as a ghost TG: with the whole intangible thing TG: also with the people not being able to see you thing TG: wait TG: i wouldnt be able to message you if you were completely intangible TG: you must be a poltergeist or something TG: is there anything i can do to help you pass on

EB: yeah, you have to burn my body. EB: that’s what they do in all of the supernatural movies and shows where there’s a ghost.

TG: alright i am fully prepared to do that TG: i however have absolutely no idea where your grave is

EB: i know where your grave is.

TG: well thats not ominous at all TG: i dont even have a grave

EB: as far as you know.

TG: are you telling me that im dead TG: am i also a ghost

EB: i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner! EB: but yes we’re both ghosts. EB: i was supposed to wait for you to figure it out yourself, but it’s taking so long, so i guess i got a little impatient. EB: :B

TG: yeah but i still dont remember anything about dying or anything like that

EB: maybe you'll remember someday. EB: i’ve got to go right about now though. EB: i compromised my mission, and now i have to go through remedial training.

TG: ill wish you luck

EB: who needs luck when you have skill?

TG: okay then no good luck from me TG: i take it back TG: youve got this handled due to the sheer amount of awesomeness you have

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: oh no they got you TG: i know i said i didnt wish you good luck but i actually did TG: you cant give back a good luck TG: you can never give back a good luck TG: the blessing is yours now forever and ever TG: or however long you live i guess TG: thats going to take a butt load of time TG: anyway TG: i should probably get going too TG: instead of just having a conversation by myself after you left TG: and like go and have a conversation with someone else TG: maybe with jade TG: i havent talked to jade in a while TG: wonder how her pumpkins are doing TG: i wonder if shes harvested them yet TG: or if its even time for that TG: i swear i do actually listen when she talks about gardening TG: but i dont remember what half the harvest times for a bunch of the vegetables she grows TG: dont tell her that TG: or do TG: she probably already knows TG: shes always had a tendency to know things that other people would have absolutely no clue of knowing about TG: anyway TG: ill pester you again at some point eventually TG: ill go pester jade instead now TG: see ya

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: yo jade how are your pumpkins doing TG: is it about time to harvest them or anything TG: or has that already happened TG: when do people harvest pumpkins again

GG: ive harvested them!

TG: awesome were they tasty

GG: of course they were!!! GG: i made pumpkin pie and roasted pumpkin seeds GG: and then i sold all the leftover pumpkins

TG: yeah what kind of profit did that turn

GG: quite a bit, actually! GG: especially with the fact that pumpkins are basically weeds GG: because they grow back no matter what you do GG: no GG: matter GG: what GG: but people fucking love pumpkins during the fall seasons

TG: yeah everyone goes batshit for that kind of stuff TG: got that pumpkin spice everywhere TG: and colorful trees and sweater weather TG: unless you live in the south TG: then there are just two seasons TG: summer and cooler summer

GG: those were basically the seasons on the island i grew up on too GG: im so glad i get to see snow where i live now!!! GG: i always wanted to play in it growing up!!!

TG: tbh we should coordinate and try to play in the snow together at some point

GG: yes!!! GG: but, no GG: :( GG: itd be way too difficult to coordinate that kind of thing

TG: yeah probably TG: but maybe one day if we happened to be in the same area and it happened to snow TG: we could get together and play in the snow and build snowpeople and snow angles

GG: dont you mean snow angels?

TG: i meant what i said TG: were gonna be drawing angles in the snow TG: forty five degrees sixty degrees one hundred and eighty degrees TG: well have all the angles right there written in the snow because no one can tell us what to do

GG: i still think id rather make snow angels though

TG: fair enough TG: you stick with your boring old snow angels TG: and ill have a fantastic time making all my fucking snow angles

GG: :/ GG: you do that, i guess GG: i still think making snow angels will be more fun!

TG: suit yourself TG: anyway im being messaged by someone else so ive gotta bounce

GG: alrighty, see ya!

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

GC: D4V3

TG: terezi

GC: H4V3 YOU S33N TH1S?? GC: F1L3.COM

TG: well it would seem that im being framed for murder and no one told me

GC: NO GC: 1N C4S3 TH4T H4PP3N3D 1 WOULD S3RV3 4S YOUR PROS3CUT3R

TG: wouldnt you be unable to participate in the trial because you have a bias because were friends

GC: Y3S BUT TH4T 1S B3S1D3 TH3 PO1NT GC: W41T GC: 1S 1T B3S1D3 THE PO1NT OR B3S1D3S TH3 PO1NT??

TG: no idea TG: does it matter

GC: 1 GU3SS NOT GC: JUST LOOK 4T TH3 GODD4MN M3M3

TG: nice

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

CG: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

TG: so what stuck itself up your ass

CG: DID TEREZI SEND YOU THAT MEME?

TG: what meme i have no idea what meme your talking about

TG: i dont even know what a meme is TG: you could hear me say that but i pronounced meme as me me TG: because thats how little i know about memes TG: ive never even seen one in my life TG: you dont have any proof that tz showed me the meme that you are talking about like less than five minutes ago about the ten page rant that you sent to complain about my channel

CG: THAT’S REALLY SPECIFIC, AND IT MAKES ME SUSPICIOUS AND PRIVY TO THE IDEA THAT YOU ACTUALLY DO KNOW WHAT A MEME IS.

TG: please spare me i have a family

CG: I WASN’T AWARE THAT YOU HAD KIDS.

TG: youre right i dont have kids TG: not in reality TG: imaginary kids TG: all running around and being great and fantastic and not fucked up at all TG: thats the fucking dream

CG: DAVE, WE’RE NOT HERE TO DISCUSS YOUR INSECURITIES DEALING WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF HAVING KIDS OR WORKING WITH KIDS. CG: WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE MEME TEREZI SENT YOU.

TG: why do you even care so much about a meme TG: its a meme and its harmless fun TG: even if it does include a picture of you topless

CG: EXACTLY. CG: I’M GOING TO NEED YOU TO DELETE ANY EVIDENCE OF THAT PICTURE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO KEEP IT.

TG: why would i want to keep it TG: maybe i already deleted it TG: maybe i didnt even save it TG: also why do you want me to delete so bad TG: its not much in the way of blackmail TG: who could possibly use it against you

CG: PEOPLE.

TG: thats specific

CG: I’M NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD FOR GOING INTO TOO MUCH DETAIL ABOUT THIS, SO COULD YOU PLEASE JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT AND DELETE THAT PHOTO?

TG: k

CG: REALLY? CG: JUST LIKE THAT?

TG: sure if it really matters to you that much ill make sure to get rid of it TG: you can tell me why at another time TG: i get if its too personal to talk about or whatever TG: sometimes that kind of thing happens TG: there we go TG: deleted photo

CG: THANKS

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AC: :33< *ac prowls up to the unsuspecting crow* AC: :33< *she asks meow the crow is doing!*

TG: *the crow says hes doing well and asks the same of the cat*

AC: :33< im fine! AC: :33< im meowstly just double checking the date and time we agr33d on for tea

TG: yeah im still on that day TG: just cant believe it in like a month and a half TG: seems like an almost unnecessary time to plan in advance

AC: :33< but it is a really meowfurlous tea place! AC: :33< its just a little exclawsive, so youve got to make reservations a bit in advance

TG: yeah i get that but the main question here is the dress code TG: can i show up in my jeans and hoodie or do ive got to pull out the singular suit i have TG: its bright red so i cant exactly wear it to black tie events

AC: :33< it s33ms more like mew should wear brunch attire

TG: khakis and a polo shirt got it

AC: ://< i guess thats brunch attire AC: :33< i would wear something a little nicer though

TG: so more like colorful khakis with a button down shirt that can hold cufflinks

AC: :33< yeah thats s33ms more appropriate AC: :33< mew could always ask kanya~a for advice on what to wear

TG: yeah im probably going to do that TG: also that cat pun in her name that you did was the best think ive heard all day ten out of ten would use again

AC: :33< thank mew! AC: :33< i like to give all meow furends cat pun names! AC: :33< its kind of hard to come up with them for some people though

TG: yeah im not sure how you can make a cat pun from dave TG: its pretty much impossible but if you do manage to do it i will be supremely impressed

AC: :33< meowbe a rhyming thing? AC: :33< like cavedave or something? AC: :33< but that makes you sound like some sort of caveman AC: :((< and thats not really cute

TG: maybe adding a hobby of mine of some sort to my name TG: like rapping TG: like rapnap dave or something TG: cause it sounds kind of like catnap

AC: :33< that certainly is a lot cuter! AC: :33< ill consider it! AC: :33< but ive got to go meow so we can talk later

TG: cool

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

Since you were clearly talking to all your friends today, you might as well see if Aradia’s online as well. You’re pretty sure she was, and since you probably won’t get to contact her for a while, you might as well message her now.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] --

TG: have you finally figured out how im going to die TG: or divined that kind of shit yet TG: saw it in the clouds or something TG: my hot as hell dead body floating in the water staining the fluid and polluting the river and making it muddy with red TG: taking a stabbing and falling and dying before i could ask if it was something i said TG: choking to death, clubbing to death TG: hit through the chest with some white magic TG: bleeding and crying as they take their last breath TG: its all just so horrible and tragic TG: having every single one of these dreams TG: but i think i know that theyre memories TG: had these nightmares since i was a kid TG: always wondered if it was something i did TG: cause they made me scared of clowns swords and puppets TG: made me too scared to watch even the muppets TG: but they’re not just mine cause it’s not always my body TG: lying on the ground looking super fucking shoddy TG: and all i can feel is the oppression and fear TG: of letting go of all we hold dear TG: stabbed with a sword we did abhor TG: all the death and the violence and blood TG: overwhelmed us like a flood TG: but try as we might we had no chance TG: we were always meant to lose this dance TG: alright im done that was a dope ass fucking rap thanks folks for listening to how awesome that was

AA: you will die on the twentieth day of april in the year of 2069 from drug overdose

TG: nice

AA: also your rap was both cool and concerning

TG: yeah im not sure if i actually thought at all about what i just said in that rap TG: so basically i forgot everything that i just wrote

AA: thats the beauty of a messaging platform AA: you can just scroll up and reread what you wrote

TG: im sorry im suddenly unable to read

AA: wow AA: youre really going to do this

TG: yes and i have no regrets TG: hi im jared im nineteen and i never fucking learned how to read

AA: your name is dave

TG: shit TG: caught in the lie TG: what time will i have to spend in jail officer

AA: well since im not a cop AA: none! AA: but im still curious about whatever the hell was going on with that rap

TG: maybe you should respond with the stuff thats bothering you in rap form TG: do a little rap battle TG: but like TG: with feelings and shit TG: you can talk about whats bothering you and then i can elaborate on the fuckery in my rap

AA: alright i dont see why not AA: it will probably help us both AA: my heart and my brains been pulled taught AA: stuck between work and the one that i love AA: cant help my job fits me like a glove AA: but i cant stop thinking about my matesprit AA: how hes gonna face it AA: cause he says he supports me AA: and he says that he agrees AA: with putting my job first and foremost AA: while he sits in one place and holds post AA: i didnt mind too much before AA: we had all i could adore AA: but since he proposed were going to be married AA: i just dont know if that life should be carried

TG: well that sounds like something you should talk about TG: because not doing so might leave you in a drought TG: in your relationship where miscommunications TG: might lead to decimation TG: or more likely just breaking up TG: but you dont want that to burn up TG: so just have a talk with him about your concern TG: and then your love will continue to burn

AA: did you just rhyme up with up

TG: dont judge me im trying to help

AA: your advice was good but i can still judge you for your lack of slam poetry skills

TG: hey ill have you know im the best in the business

AA: must be a very small business

TG: wow TG: i cant believe my own moirail would do this to me

AA: you know i had to do it to em

TG: i hate you and everything that you stand for

AA: likewise AA: aside from that AA: do you want to talk about those dreams you mentioned at the start of this conversation

TG: i will only answer that if you ask me in a rap

AA: what the fuck was up with those dreams AA: you seem to be tearing at the seems AA: with all the death and the dying AA: and it might seems like im lying AA: but ive had those too AA: hit in the face and bid me adieu AA: except im a ghost and dead AA: dont know how but i bled AA: then im a frog for some reason AA: it has something to do with treason AA: then a robot that i hated AA: someones kinks that were stated AA: then i blow up again and again AA: wake up in pajamas the color of cayenne AA: and thats when i know that im alive AA: and i know for a fact that i will thrive

TG: always thought that i was alone in this TG: but i guess im not so now ill remiss TG: on all these nightmares ive had TG: that were all really bad TG: i always thought it was because of my childhood TG: never thought that i would be old enough to get to my knighthood TG: thought i was going to die alone TG: thought they wouldnt even find a bone TG: thought no would care if i was gone TG: always felt like i didnt belong TG: i thought the dreams were a message, an order TG: to finally get rid of the disorder TG: that was me theyd promised id be free TG: but i still desperately wanted to be TG: alive and awake and active and happy TG: excuse me if this starts to get a bit sappy TG: but i wanted love TG: i wanted to be above TG: my bro who so obviously hated me TG: and everyone i know would agree TG: so no matter how much i wanted to die TG: there was always something just keeping me alive TG: a wish or a kiss or a day that gets better TG: a time when i get to open a letter TG: theres something to live for something to survive for TG: going and traveling and taking a tour TG: listening to music when i feel depressed TG: going outside when i feel repressed TG: reminding myself its gonna be alright TG: in order to tell myself not to go towards the light

AA: feeling alive is good

TG: yeah TG: it is TG: thanks for listening

AA: thank you for listening! AA: thats what being moirails is all about AA: listening to each other and doing our best to comfort each other AA: although i guess thats what friendship is about too AA: moirail is more of a formal title

TG: i get that TG: someones messaging me now though so i guess this is where we can end our convo

AA: dont be a stranger!

TG: not planning to be one TG: <>

`AA: <>

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] --

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TT: Hello.

TG: yes just come up and start a chat using the most generic fucking greeting in the entire goddamn world TG: thats exactly how you start a conversation with someone youve known for years TG: start conversations by calling your friends a bitch like the rest of us

TT: I’m pretty sure I would like to have a little more class than that.

TG: ill bring you down to my level one day

TT: I will do my best to resist going down that low.

TG: listen TG: im pretty sure you dont have to go that far

TT: Wow. TT: Rude.

TG: thats a more appropriate way to talk to your brother

TT: I’ll be certain to use more crass language when greeting you next time I make the decision to start a conversation with you.

TG: anyway what did you want to talk to me about

TT: I would like to invite you to my party celebrating the release of my new book. TT: It takes place in a month at my house.

TG: you mean your big ass mansion

TT: Yes, I suppose that is an apt description of the location where I reside. TT: I suggest you dress formally for the occasion. TT: You can wear the suit that you had recently tailored for you.

TG: oh yeah the one kanaya made that feels like the softest goddamn plush toy in the childrens aisle

TT: Yes, please wear that one.

TG: alrighty sounds good to me

TT: Not going to argue about wearing jeans and a T-shirt instead?

TG: nah TG: not this time at least TG: im kind of excited to wear the one kanaya made anyway TG: especially since its the first suit that i actually kind of like

TT: Well, I look forward to seeing you at my party in a suit. TT: For now, I must go and give a few others personal invitations.

TG: k you do that

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

You proceeded to play videos games for the rest of the day because it was, in fact, your day off. You had to spend some of it by yourself after all.

[douxreviews]

American Gods - ‘Git Gone’ Review

"That was vulgar. I’m a vulgar woman. Anger and grief have… have really just made me vulgar."

American Gods gives us the Gospel According to Laura, and answers a few questions to boot.

OK, it's cheating just a little bit to end two episodes in a row with the exact same cliffhanger, but wow, what a trip it was getting there the second time around.

So, at the end of the previous episode, Shadow enters his motel room to find his recently deceased wife, Laura, sitting on his bed waiting for him. Expectations, then, were that we'd pick up at that same point and get to see their inevitable confrontation over the whole 'died while orally servicing his best friend' situation. But 'Git Gone' takes a different path, and instead goes back to before the show even began and tells the whole thing again, but this time from Laura's perspective.

This is by no means the first show to do an episode dedicated to re-staging things we've already seen, but from the perspective of one of the other characters, but there's a reason that shows like to do it, and it's not just the cost savings of re-using existing sets. The primary virtue of this setup is that it allows you to fill in a lot of character information, while revealing information about events you've already seen that we didn't know at the time. Case in point, we've already heard the phone conversation between Shadow and Laura in 'The Bone Orchard'. but now we know that she literally had his best friend naked on their bed while she was talking to him. That changes how we feel about Laura during that conversation a lot.

So, let's talk about Laura.

For the first three episodes, Laura has essentially been a woman in the refrigerator. It's an insidious trope, which can be boiled down to the idea that stories tend to treat female characters as someone to kill so that the important character, i.e. the man, can be properly motivated to do whatever the story needs him to do. It's a pleasant relief then to find out that, no, Laura has been having a fairly eventful story of her own, and her untimely death was only the middle part of it.

The thing that 'Git Gone' makes clear about Laura is that she is fundamentally self-destructive. The very first decision we see her make is to attempt suicide in her covered hot tub by breathing in the titular bug spray, and that appears to have been brought on by nothing more than the casino she's working at telling her that she can't shuffle the cards by hand anymore, but she likes shuffling cards so she's super sad about it. She's clearly smart and perceptive; it takes her all of three seconds to understand the con that Shadow is trying to pull at her blackjack table. She's also basically kind, since her response to his con is to point out the casino's security measures and what they'll do to him when he's caught, then takes his bet and tells him to finish his drink and go home while he can. But when Shadow approaches her afterward and tries to ask her out in a reasonably polite fashion she's not interested. She only becomes interested in him once he starts getting stalker-ishly creepy. The same is true of their sex scene. She's bored out of her mind when he's being a courteous lover, and slaps him full in the face for no other reason than to see what he'll do. That's just not a safe thing to do to a guy you just picked up after he attempted to rob your casino, and whom you know absolutely nothing about. Which is why she does it.

The sequence of scenes where we see Shadow grow happier and happier while she grows sadder and sadder tell us everything we need to know about Laura. She likes Shadow, but he's nice. And when Laura has something nice in her life, Laura is immediately compelled to destroy that thing. That's why she suggests the casino heist that gets Shadow sent to prison. That's why she starts sleeping with Robbie while Shadow's away. Note the way that Laura only slept with Robbie the second time because he had accepted her statement that they shouldn't. Note also how she was clearly just as bored during her sex with Robbie as she had been that first night with Shadow. It was never about the sex, it was about inviting things into her life that would cause as much damage as possible. When Audrey mentions that she wishes Robbie looked at her the way Shadow looks at Laura, you can feel how little Laura values it. How much she needs to destroy it, in order to prove to herself that she doesn't deserve it. Honestly, season one doesn't give us much in terms of Laura's early background information, and the book gives even less, but note that Laura's mother appears to be at their wedding and her father isn't. I suspect there's a lot of interesting backstory there, and I hope we get more of it in the future. People this self destructive don't just happen for no reason.

And hey, we mentioned Audrey a moment ago. Audrey, and I'll make no bones about this whatsoever, is my absolute favorite character in the show, despite only being in two episodes of the first season. The scene between Audrey and Laura in Audrey's bathroom is absolutely the centerpiece of this episode. That scene works on every conceivable level. It's simultaneously hysterically funny, heartbreakingly sad, and the weirdest thing you're likely to see on television. And it all comes down to the fact that both Betty Gilpin as Audrey and Emily Browning as Laura play the absolute emotional truth of the moment, despite the fact that the moment is a zombie with diarrhea on the toilet in front of the woman whose husband she died while blowing. Oh, and she stopped by to borrow craft supplies. The whole thing is basically, what if The Walking Dead was a production of the Hallmark Channel, and those two actresses make it work. Audrey is confronted with the woman she thought was her best friend but was sleeping with her husband. Who died while betraying her. When Audrey speaks the line 'I found out my husband was cheating on me and dead in the same sentence' you absolutely feel how much pain she's in, and it feels real. Despite the zombie diarrhea and the craft supplies, it feels like genuine emotional damage that she has no idea how to work through. It's amazing.

Then Audrey gets her craft supplies, sews her friend's arm back on for her, and drives her where she needs to go. Because she has no idea how else to respond to the situation. And if anyone is capable of getting through the following exchange without falling in love a little with Audrey, then that person has no soul. As Audrey is sewing her dead friend's arm back on and discussing the way that friend slept with her husband:

Laura: "I feel terrible about it." Audrey: "Oh, F*ck your feelings."

Quotes:

Laura: "Is this your first time trying to rob a casino?" Shadow: "A casino? Yeah." Laura: "Well, you’re really not very good at it."

Shadow: "All l know is there’s more than I know."

Laura: "There’s no farm upstate for old dogs."

Laura: "I have a perfect plan. You will never get caught." Cut to Jail Laura: "How did you get caught?"

Laura: "I lived my life. Good and bad. Definitely not light as a feather."

Audrey: "…Laura?" Laura: "Hey Audrey." Audrey:

Laura: "Audrey. Audrey. Don’t call the police." Audrey: "Get out of my house, you zombie whore!"

Ibis: "Don’t move. You’re still tacky."

Bits and Pieces:

-- Nice fake-out at the beginning with the Egyptian theme casino. The casino's name was 'The 26th Dynasty' Apparently that was the last Egyptian dynasty before they were invaded by the Persians. I don't know if that's at all important, but information is always nice.

-- Mrs. Fadil's post-death scene with Anubis last week served the important function of letting us understand what was happening to Laura this week. It's a little weird that Laura would be the province of an Egyptian death god though. They hand waved it last week with Mrs. Fadil remembering the old stories, but all we get here is that Laura is Anubis' concern because of the manner of her passing. That seems like a curiously specific thing for an Egyptian god to care about. Maybe she had to sign a release when she started working at the casino or something.

-- The hot tub is a visual metaphor for nothingness and oblivion. Watch the episode with that in mind and it opens up a world of interesting interpretations.

-- Do people leave their TVs on for the cats while they're out? It made total sense that it was the death of Dummy the cat, who Laura claimed to not even like, that drove her completely off the rails and into the affair with Robbie.

-- I'm not sure why, but the Egyptian eyes on Laura's work uniform bow tie really freaked me out. Like, to an irrational degree.

-- Laura's dialogue, 'When you die, you rot,' is shown over the images of her and Shadow's wedding. That was a nice directorial touch.

-- I liked the visual cue of Shadow leaving his wedding ring on the statue of the Eifel Tower when he went to the gym. That's a real thing, I take off mine myself to work out.

-- Three episodes later, we find out that it was Laura who killed all of Technical Boy's henchmen and saved Shadow from the lynching. Wow, zombie Laura is apparently quite strong. And can kick you in the balls so hard your entire spinal column flies out the top of your head, which was a funny sight gag.

-- Mr. Jacquel, a.k.a. Anubis, told Laura that after this was all over he would complete his task and send her to oblivion. So now Laura has a matching doom over her head to go with Shadow's promise to let Czernobog smash his head in when it's all over.

-- I'd have liked to have known what happened to Audrey after she and Laura encountered Jacquel and Ibis. I assume she just dropped Laura off and went back home, but it would have been nice to see it.

-- Absent entirely this week - Wednesday, Mad Sweeney, Bilquis, Media, Technical Boy, Czernobog, The Zorya sisters, and Mr. World.

A great episode that gave us a lot of character work and some intriguing answers, but at the expense of paying off the previous episode's cliffhanger.

Three and a half out of four hot tubs.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.