#im pondering!!
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trying to be strong and not fixate on mcs for an if sans a demo
#i rarely do#actually i feel like i can say i never do#heckles often even for games (if/vns) i play casually i dont usually dont have a MCtm just like a rando i insert that i may or may not think#of again#bc rp i feel im good at just creating stand ins (love playing my ocs npc family members)#and i just vibe#but ugh im pondering !#im pondering!!#and its like i am already contemplayting which char with which ro which is foolish to get attached to beore i even test things out#but here i am#qwererwq halp me#/weeps
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watched a letsplay last night, who up washing they mouth
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🌚🌝
#unfinished and will likely stay that way im sorry#star trek#james t kirk#captain kirk#the search for spock#fanart#doods#they are pondering.......
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Ghostfire Shen Yuan loyally following the lonely, undying, forgotten Luo Binghe from the original outline.
They never even met.
Shen Yuan had died long before Luo Binghe’s story was set to start. Abandoned by his System, he was left wandering the realms, searching for anything to latch onto, anything to stave off the darkness encroaching on his consciousness whenever he stopped. He keeps himself entertained with little jokes and references that will never reach anyone. At least back home, there were other people on the opposite side of his screen reacting, seeing. Paying attention.
He never would have thought he’d miss the times he was perceived by others. He’d give anything, though. Anything.
He stumbles upon the protagonist as he’s ascending the stairs of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect for the first time. Dressed in rags and heaving with the effort, Luo Binghe is exactly as Shen Yuan had pictured: a little bun, soft and kind and so very brave.
The excitement wears off soon enough. When the tea ceremony is held, Shen Yuan watches, hopelessly trying to stop the cup from hitting Binghe’s head. He lunges at Shen Jiu; let him be identified and exorcised, at least he would have done something with himself, however useless. It doesn’t work. Of course not—nothing can come between Luo Binghe and his fate.
Shen Yuan thinks about leaving. Many times. But every time he considers the possibility of going back to wandering the world, or just passing on… Well. There’s still a lot to see, isn’t there? It will get better. It will.
Only, it doesn’t. Not really.
There’s no harem; there’s no warm comfort offered to Luo Binghe by a sympathetic beauty, no wedding celebrations, no moments of gentle companionship, however brief, however superficial. There’s no camaraderie with his demon underlings, his generals, his allies; it’s all casual cruelty and dismissals, before it’s violence and subjugation.
There’s no joy. There’s no hope. There’s no ‘better’.
Something is wrong, that’s clear. Something is wrong, and Shen Yuan has no one to blame.
This is not the Proud Immortal Demon Way he knows.
Centuries later, when Luo Binghe begs for the heavens to allow him to die, Shen Yuan hears. When Luo Binghe rages against the passage of time, alone in the wreckage of his palace, left behind by everyone he’d ever known, Shen Yuan accompanies him. When Luo Binghe lies down in the Holy Mausoleum and refuses to get up, Shen Yuan waits, as he had for centuries, until Luo Binghe opens his eyes again and takes to the road.
They end up in a hidden realm so filled with Yin energy that Shen Yuan can channel it to manipulate his form into that of his former body. It’s not detectable by the living, but it’s there. He feels stronger, too. He can walk, float, fly, interact with what few other ghosts they encounter.
Still, Luo Binghe cannot see him.
Luo Binghe doesn’t talk much. Well, that makes sense, he was never in the habit of talking to himself, but still. It’s lonely.
They end up in a town where a diviner takes one look at Luo Binghe and offers him a free reading. Shen Yuan can’t enter her tent, well-warded against foreign entities as it is, so he waits outside.
She tells Luo Binghe of the little hanger-on he’s got. A powerful one, too, though he’s still getting used to his powers. He’s been here for a long time, she says. Since he was a child. He comes from far away—farther than even the most distant star.
Luo Binghe begins talking to him. Shen Yuan isn’t sure why, but he’s not complaining!
Luo Binghe also begins meditating again, trying to soothe the damage done by Xin Mo over the centuries. For every meal, he places a few fruits or snacks across from him on a plate he’d made himself, which he eats only after finishing his own dish. He makes space by his side whenever he walks on a narrow road. He stops at every landmark and tells stories about them, always starting the same way.
“Do you remember when…” becomes Shen Yuan’s favourite phrase.
One night, Luo Binghe sighs and looks across the table. Shen Yuan places himself so that he’s in Luo Binghe’s focus.
“What is it, Binghe?”
Luo Binghe doesn’t answer him, of course. Still, it feels like a conversation, when he says:
“I wish I knew your name.”
Shen Yuan frets. He’s been trying to manipulate the physical world, but he never got the hang of it. He’d tried drawing in sand, with water, just pushing things off shelves. And yet, nothing.
“I’m sorry, I wish—” he tries, but Luo Binghe is already talking again.
“I wonder if we ever crossed paths when you were alive.” He’s expressed this thought more than once. Shen Yuan never likes to think about how they’ve missed each other, how they’d been set up for failure from the start. “I wonder if we would have been friends.”
Shen Yuan scoffs. Of course not. Him and the protagonist? No way.
But—those cold star eyes, blindly searching for him, trying to land on him… They make him want to say, I would have liked that.
He reaches a hand out to touch Luo Binghe’s forehead. He’s taken to doing it whenever Luo Binghe broods, or makes a silly joke Shen Yuan wishes he didn’t find funny. It’s soothing.
He wishes Binghe could feel it.
When his finger touches the demon mark, it blazes. Luo Binghe gasps, that heavy gaze settling on Shen Yuan’s face.
Shen Yuan startles, and jumps away.
“No! Wait!”
Shen Yuan hesitates. Luo Binghe is looking around himself, eyes begging for even a wisp of Shen Yuan’s shadow.
He can’t deny Luo Binghe this.
He can’t deny himself this.
He reaches out again. This time, he cups Luo Binghe’s cheeks. When those eyes clear of panic and widen in awe, he whispers, softly, “Shen Yuan. My name is Shen Yuan.”
Luo Binghe looks like he’s been handed a treasure so precious he’s afraid to touch it. He hesitates, raising his hands in careful starts and stops, before taking Shen Yuan’s face in them, gently caressing the soft, cold skin of his face. His eyes dance with the haste he takes in memorising Shen Yuan’s features.
Then, he smiles. Helpless and weak and so, so precious. Shen Yuan has not seen hope so bright in Luo Binghe’s face since that fateful day on Cang Qiong Mountain.
“Hello, Shen Yuan.”
#svsss#svsss fic#luo binghe#bingyuan#shen yuan#bing-xiong#lbx#i DONT know what the fuck this is#im so exhausted. i am not in the right writing mindse#but please. please ponder this with me im begging so much#ignore every spotty grammar instance. im waving the ESL flag like its a shield#luo bing-xiong PLEASE tell me ur secreta#.txt#loyal ghost au
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𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲.
#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girl blog aesthetic#hell is a teenage girl#lana del ray aesthetic#this is a girlblog#this is what makes us girls#vintage#coquette#dollette#dolly#coquette dollete#girl bosses#i’m just a girl#girl blogger#im just a girl#just girly things#girlblogging#tumblr girls#girlhood#lana stan#born to die#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#romance#bed rotting#in love#baby#pink#aesthetic#ponderings#old hollywood
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I'll meet judgement by the hounds
#looking back over my art for new years and realised i never posted this nicely together like it was meant!!#you believe me like a god#I'll destroy you like I am#you are meant to be hearing im your man by mitski when you look at it#bc thats just simply the vibe#but i think about price taking gaz into 141 a lot#saving his life and then throwing him in the deep in#love to ponder#kyle gaz garrick#captain price#captain john price#mw 2019#mw2 art#my art#artists on tumblr
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happy birthday silver!!
#fun fact: i hate doing bday art but this was NEEDED. i was a woman possessed. this groovy fucked me UP#groovy was made in a lab specifically for me. im SICK im DESTROYED its so good. he fucking sweeps. we win#i need silver to stab the painting and be so upset abt it i need the Tension i AUGHHHHHH#silver i love u. i wanted him to touch the frame at first like gentle ponder vibes#but its a museum thats against the RULES. i have licked a statue at a museum but silver wouldnt break rules like that#anywho. im on mobile but i saw i have an ask so i gotta reply tmrw. ty to the anon for ur patience and thoughts i rly appreciate it#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#suntails
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My friend convinced me of the potential of this very specific trio (especially in a roadtrip context) so I'm spreading the propaganda
Again, oddly specific trio but listen. Look at this graph @liauditore made. This is all you need to know (TLDR these guys make for fun duos between one another, but putting all three of them together would neutralize any cons that would arise otherwise)
We call them sappies because idk it sounds cute and funny. Very vaguely based on the idea of tree sap (not just from how that can be related to "treebark" but also the idea of sap being a thing that helps a tree survive and making for good glue and medicine in some cases. Idk they're sappy. You get it)
The croc meme is based on this. I think Martyn would be too stupid to grasp the concept of gender so I replaced his speech bubble with watcher lore
#zombiecleo#rendog#renthedog#martyn inthelittlewood#inthelittlewood#This is not drawn with shipping in mind but pondering tagging the specific ships/duo names...? I have no idea whats acceptable#You're welcome Liau. Thanks for going to sleep like 3 days ago (promised to draw Liau the sappies as a thanks)#Cleo's growing vegetation out of her scalp but Martyn cant comprehend it#ok thanks for approval. Im tagging the duos lol#treebark#I dont actually know the other two fuck#trafficblr#tubby art
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Hi hello if it's alright I have Questions about the Sleeping Terror Lieut art you posted 1. Are Irving and Hodgson restraining Little? Is it on purpose? He's already starfishing, is he a kicker/thrasher without appropriate support? Alternatively, is Little the anchor for the other two? Hodgeson primly holding the crook of his arm and Irving's sleeping cap across his eyes would imply as much. 2. The pillow on the floor. Is it Irvings, who stole Ned's after he pushed his own off? Or is it Ned's, who somehow flung it right off the edge of the bed? 3. Irving and Ned both on top of the blanket, Hodge barely using a corner - do the terror lieutenants sleep hotter than most? 4. Hodgson, rigid, face-up, mask on. Jopson, rigid, face-down, into the pillow. Coincidence?
Y’all are out there asking the hard-hitting questions.. I tried to answer a few but even I don’t have all the answers.
#this will take some pondering.#Irving is the ‘what if our feet touch’ Peep Show joke#if that reference lands idk#also I used to make soooo many comics like this rip I need to get back into that#it’s so hard tho#don’t mind the actual drawings lmao💀#im tired#amc the terror#the terror#my art#the terror fanart#john irving#thomas jopson#george hodgson#edward little#artists on tumblr
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more from the funny murder sonic game
#amy rose#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#knuckles the echidna#espio the chameleon#barry the quokka#sonic#sth#this game is forcing me to draw more than just hedgehogs#god im still so obsessed with it im still. im pondering many orbs#the murder of sonic the hedgehog#fanart#draw
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i lied i had like atleast one more weston thought to expell from my brain, before i miss this boat entirely. we're heading to green lands woooo
#god i had a fever this entire morning and afternoon so I think it was my inability to do anything that finally pushed me to finish this#seriously it took a month... disapointing#more disappointing is that i didn't have the time to tear up the internet in order to find what a professors break room looked like in 1899#if there was such a thing#really tragic#ah yea welp im very glad it's out there atleast. I want to release all of my black butler stuff so badly but guh...#tragedy has struck and i have been inspired to finally make a person project of my own#so that's taking a long time#but not to worry after like 5 years and some pondering i know well that black butler will always be one half of my brain#coooool#anyway i got more dorky stuff coming I hope??? wasn't lying before I am thinking of the midfords#and ill pray i can find the strength to get everything done soon#hope my rants are more tasteful after months of absence if ur still here#kuroshitsuji#black butler#kuroshitsuji fanart#fanart#sebastian michaelis#digital art#animation#animatic#video#weston college arc#black butler anime#black butler agares
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need Crowley in danger from Heaven, need Aziraphale stepping in front of Crowley, need the Guardian of the Eastern Gate, the protector of earth and humans, to protect his world, need the angel to shield the demon, need him to be ready to die for him but so much more willing to live, need Aziraphale to save him, need him to face Heaven and walk backwards into hell, to stand between Heaven and Crowley and choose Crowley, without a doubt and without hesitation
(because he might have chosen heaven when they offered him Crowley's supposed salvation, but as soon as they threaten Crowley's existence the choice will be so SO easy)
#good omens#ineffable husbands#crowley x aziraphale#aziracrow#need so many things#currently in a car share amd the guy is going the avergae speed of 200 km/h so im pondering my own mortality#he IS going too fast for me but crowley is no longer going too fast for az#let this not be my last words#or do actually#my omens
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#asoiaf#im just pondering this morning. personally i imagine dany’s story as hardest logistically#but that oldtown and beyond the wall are maybe a challenge unto themselves as well#bc of how removed they are#arya is quite removed but also her plot is quite contained and he always says he could write loads of braavos#anyway think im gonna vote Dany. on my own poll#also I know a lot of these strains cross over so just pick whichever encompasses the most tricky pov in your opinion
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happiness today and tomorrow (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun maximum#trigun#ruporas art#hello here's another vw dump wraughh everyday i think about them being embarrassing infatuated w each other#it's like... at some point i must stop and look away... their love is too bright too dangerous.... but i will not... and neither will the#sidenote on the first comic - i drafted it bc im annoying about vash finding wolfwood lovely in simple ways but bc he's so restrained#in his thoughts those compliments dont usually come out. and when they do - bc he thinks about it so often - i think it'd come out bluntly#like. factual in tone as opposed to his inner deep exploding feelings about ww. only when he's pried deeper - prompted to expand#On these feelings does he get shy lmfao.... and bc it's simple complimentary words ww would take it casually in stride#dip him then call him cute and Maybe he'll get shy (pondering)#as u can see all i do is think about the fluff rn. tragedy where!
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was looking thru the mermaid au tag on ao3 a couple months ago and realised bones is rarely the mermaid so i sought to change that
#oh look.. just in time for mermay.. i definitely planned it like that and didn't just sit on this au for like 3 months...#my art#star trek#star trek tos#leonard mccoy#bones mccoy#mermay#merbones#i have a whole au for this guy so sit tight for that smiles#actually im thinking about it rn and i know i said bones is rarely the mermaid but im p sure those were all aos bones anyway#are there any tos merbones fics out there...? am i the only one pondering such things#ALSO WHY ARE THE COLOURS FUCKED UP NOOOOOO
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