#im only talking abt this now bc i got burned trying to talk abt my headworld/personal universe

[bunnihearted]

🧸♡ ⋆｡˚

[nomstellations]

I find both fandom and original vore neat! I think at a point a friend of mine and myself made outlines of sorts of a story about a frog and dragonfly that the frog happened to eat the latter a decent amount. Even then, I'm going off of my memory here. - bat anon, who doesn't have the best memory KSJDJFF

i totally forgot i wanted to answer this ask sooner but my brain hurt :[

i don't think like. one is more superior to the other or anything like that, its just that one form is way more popular than the other. doesn't make it the best or anythin, but its just like how it is in regular spaces- people are more comfortable talking about characters they know and are established than the ones someone made up that are unfamiliar to them. people are more likely to engage with familiar characters than an oc unfortunately, which is why its favored (though ive seen plenty of people around that arent comfy using canons in their vore content!)

i wish original works were more supported in the community though, original characters/content deserve it!

[tytonnidaie]

the most dangerous part of having a pet au that u never seriously work on except think abt it to ur writing playlist as u drive is that. you develop it. and it gets better. and then you really really want to write it. and you're in danger

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e2 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post, not quite a liveblog. this post is gonna be unpolished and messy bc this is the only way i know to process my emotions abt these episodes enough that i can actually start talking coherently about them.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

did not notice the first time around that buttons is sleeping with his legs sticking up resting against the side of the ship. king.

WHY DID THEY USE A DIFFERENT TAKE OF THE YOU WEAR FINE THINGS WELL SCENE WHAT PURPOSE DOES THIS SERVE. THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR DAYS.

oh god the face stede makes after he breathes out all wistfully is so pained... ogughuhg heartbreak......

why is the groom cake topper dirty ed were you kissing it. ed. edward.

hNNNG ed pushing the painted bride figurine closer..... im gonna throw up

ed!! rolling over and crying!!! TAIKA HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT LOOKING SO FUCKING SAD THIS SHIT HURTS ME

like i can literally feel the tears burning in his eyes. the way his chest starts shaking with sobs but he's managing to keep the sobs in for like one more second. he's trying so hard to hold it in and i've cried like this before and it physically HURTS

also oughg the song. run from me baby... run my good wife... run from me baby..... you better run for your life........ ED THINKS THAT'S WHAT STEDE DID!!! RAN AWAY FROM HIM!!!!! and he thinks that was stede running for his life bc like, he thinks he's inherently monstrous and unlovable and hnnnnnnnnngggg. ed teach go to therapy challenge.

the crew responding to zheng's wake-up bell is so relatable. me when my alarm goes off at 6am

ok so the running bit where stede's crew has never heard of China before. is kinda weird to me. and honestly it kinda runs back to what zheng said in the last episode "one thing i've learned in my time here: you people know so little" about nobody knowing how valuable indigo is. like the show is portraying your average caribbean pirate as really ignorant and only like, ed stede and fucking ricky are on par with zheng yi sao. and i mean knowledge doesnt equate to intelligence so like the indigo thing i didnt really bat an eye at but when it was played for comedy with olu not knowing how to pronounce china i was like... hm. but the season's just started so maybe im reading too much into it but idk. it's a weird writing choice to me.

loving how at the start of last season the crew almost mutinied bc stede was a soft captain but now roach is out here embracing how all of them are "tender as hell."

love how lucius and pete have their romantic reunion chat just. fully in front of an audience

stede looks. so upset. watching lupete kiss. this man misses his boyfriend so fucking bad

lucius not even trying to hide how much he Does Not want to be stuck with stede in towels

also hi the sky in this scene is so pink. it was blue when buttons was doing tai chi so i guess this is sunset. day one complete.

buttons confirmed sea witch one of the best scenes in s2 so far. intrigued by auntie saying "i have looked for you far and wide" like are there other sea witches and auntie only wanted buttons?? or is buttons literally the only sea witch in the world. i want the lore.

ed. eddie eddie edward. ed my beloved babygirl. i would fuckinggg die for you

ok but also there is literally no way frenchie didnt see ed when he walked in like ed is standing Right There. i love when directors do stuff like this tho it's so funny to me. "ok joel just walk in there and pretend like you dont see taika standing literally right in front of you"

just noticed ed was polishing the handle to the wardrobe (the main wardrobe) right there. he's tidying up. getting his affairs in order before he— *i break down into inconsolable sobbing*

i wont like tho it was very funny to me when we finally got this full scene and ed's "and no more stede" turned out to be "no more izzy." very fun for me

god i LOVE when we get pirate code shit. none of these rules ever make sense it's always just whatever works for the plot's sake. "that's the code of the sea: the new first mate always kills the old first mate. it's always been like that" i don't think it was literally ever like that i think the writers decided that making up this bullshit rule would add drama to the situation. it's like how pirates can win duels by rendering their opponent's sword inoperable (as if pirates ever had like ritualistic duels). or next episode when zheng yi sao is gonna kill them for mutinying against ed. i love how all the logistics of the plot are always some handwavy-bullshit bc the show just Does Not Care about this shit. this is the ed and stede show and everything else is just superfluous set dressing

we were all fixated on lucius living in the walls none of us predicted that it could be izzy living in the walls

"start with his leg see where it goes" frenchie what does this MEAN

archie thinking jim was asking which leg to cut off and just. answering the question genuinely. is so fucking real lmao me too girl

JIM PUTTING THEIR HAND OVER ARCHIE'S TO BRACE THEMSELF BEFORE THEY START CUTTING INTO IZZY'S LEG... the romances on this show are unparalleled

archie when izzy's leg starts gushing: aye yai yai!

stede telling everyone in laundry abt his whole romance with blackbeard. and stede telling zheng and auntie abt blackbeard when he thought they were just soup sellers. you KNOW stede's been telling literally everyone he meets abt how he's looking for his beloved ed.

lol ok but cuba was not written on the map in the one shot and then stede says "oh, hang on, he might be in cuba!" and it cuts back to the map and he underlines the word "cuba" which somehow mysteriously appeared on the map while stede was chatting. 10/10 no notes

also GOD do i relate to stede so hard sometimes. it did not even occur to stede to ask lucius how he's been until lucius points it out and then he's like "oh! right! how are you??" and he does genuinely care but he was just so absorbed in his own shit it did not occur to him to ask. like. ohhhh baby does that hit home

LUCIUS DRAMATICALLY PAUSING IN THE DOORWAY WHEN STEDE TELLS HIM TO WAIT. HIS HANDS ON EITHER SIDE OF THE DOOR AND HIS HEAD BENT. THIS FUCKING DRAMA QUEEN I LOVE HIM!!!!

LLOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER "oh, yeah. now you care?" AND THNE SHAKING HIS HEAD AS HE WALKS AWAY god i LOVE this soap opera

ok but buttons looks very confused when auntie says "i see you've adopted the humble form of a man" and then she hands him the book abt shapeshifting. like did she know that he doesnt know how to change form or what.

auntie asks buttons to bless their travels. anyway this is how stede somehow didnt get everyone killed in e1 despite the fact that they were at sea for a few months and he had no idea what the fuck he was doing.

LOVE auntie's little... yell? whimper?? before shuffling away nervously. incredible performance.

also the spellbook thing is in chinese. pretty cool how buttons knows how to read chinese.

ed jumpscare 2!

frenchie's "fire away. not literally, i hope" I MISSED THAT THE FIRST TIME KJSGHKFJDGHJHK WHAT A GREAT FUCKING LINE

love how irl frenchie using the wrong hand for that throat-slitting pantomime would be unimportant but the show acts like that's something that could actually give frenchie away bc they need to really nail home the fact that Ed Is A Fucking Genius

another thing ed is: INCREDIBLY HOT. he is being intimidating and evil to frenchie rn and i am very very into it.

obsessed with archie casually picking some random gore off her hand

also obsessed with how jim is just poking at izzy's leg. they learned how to butcher animals as a kid tho so i guess they're not really grossed out by severed body parts lmaoo

also also obsessed with how izzy would absolutely have not survived this at all. i love this show

list part 2:

ok im sorry but "he's our dick" does not feel earned to me. like they use that fantastic shot of the whole crew in episode 6 last season but what's crucial abt that shot is izzy isn't hanging out with the crew. he's sitting away in the corner monologuing abt how he thinks maybe ed might not want to kill stede.

i do think it's significant tho that jim wasn't there for izzy at his worst aka threatening to withhold rations for laughing at him. like they weren't part of the vote to mutiny against izzy. but frenchie was and frenchie was like "start with his leg see where it goes" which does not seem like he's really that invested in keeping izzy alive.

also it's weird how we don't see fang at all for this bit with hiding izzy in the walls. like he would be the one i'd expect to have the strongest connection to izzy bc he knew izzy before the show started and he was hugging and comforting izzy last episode.

anyway imo jim keeping izzy alive is more abt them missing when they were on the ship with olu and the whole crew and the ship was like a family, not necessarily abt feeling loyalty to izzy specifically. i could be wrong tho who knows.

one thing i do know is that it is VERY important to point out how jim is struggling really hard with everything, archie is not. she wasnt there for the co-captaining era at all and she seems to be rolling with everything like it's all expected. this includes the wedding raid and ed pointing a gun at her last season and stuff. even now she's mostly just confused by why jim is bothering to try and keep izzy alive. but she acts like the amputation and the violence are all what she expected.

yay kissing!! with the shit stuffed up their nose and covered in blood and jim still holding the leg GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

hnng when archie says "you have... hope" jim's jaw tenses and they visibly swallow after the word "hope." god jim is going through it

"the wooden demon boy that thirsted for life" god i love this game of telephone that the show is playing with pinocchio it's so fucking funny

archie definitely still says a few syllables after "no i was cleaning up blood" while jim was leaning in for another kiss but none of it forms a coherent word. relatable.

ed's "ohhhhohoho. ohoho" is so funny to me. this man is so jealous that other people are getting to kiss ppl they like but not him.

hm archie and jim are not actually kissing when we cut to the shot of ed standing in the stairwell. i imagine this is an editing goof or something

jim and archie pulling away like two kids who got caught kissing under the bleachers during gym class or something. incredible. one of jim's nose plug rags is mysteriously missing now. i think archie ate it.

ed shushing frenchie. nothing to say here but "i need him carnally"

"take the fuckin leg" ed does NOT like mess!!!

"he was your friend" well jim. he might have been ed's friend. but he had a very strange way of showing it.

why does it sound like ed has spurs on his boots

OLU IS SO CUTE I CANT BLAME ZHENG FOR BEING LIKE "you're doing so good at filing thanks so much!!" WHEN HE'S ACTIVELY FUCKING EVERYTHING UP

also. i want to know about auntie's filing system. ahead of it's time, you say?? tell me more. hi my name is jess and i love sorting things

ah yeah olu mispronouncing china moment

olu and zheng are cute tho ngl

roach is having an orgasmic experience drinking soup. very relatable.

love that stede called the broth "insane" like fics so often get stede's voice wrong bc he will randomly say casual slang in a way that contradicts his general s1 vibe of stuffy frilly rich guy. but he's more like your average dad whose general grammar when speaking is pretty outdated but he's also trying to use slang to fit in with his kids

oh god stede is trying so hard with lucius it is giving SUCH awkward dad vibes. "when i was young and edgy" and "mr. cool" STEEEEDE

"my spicy little rat boy" im so sad that lucius hates that pet name bc this is the funniest thing black pete's ever said

aw nooooo the way pete jumps when lucius yells at him :(:(:(

yo wee john has like a wristband with all these sewing needles and shit stuck on it that's such a cool costume detail

the first thing izzy says after waking up is "my leg" and in my head im hearing it in the spongebob meme voice

first: very funny how ed responds "yeah!" like, laughing about the whole. amputation thing. and then secondly i am obsessed with "up in Leg Heaven" he is so fucking quirky. i love him.

"have you come to take the other one" yeah you'd probably enjoy that huh izzy.

love ed's dangly earring. gender.

smthng abt how izzy is instantly exhausted and dismissive when ed tells izzy to take the gun vs how ed was also bored and dismissive when izzy said "i have love for you." idk if there's anything there im just making tenuous connections in my head rn

help. ed clenching his fists when he's standing with his back to izzy. he really wants izzy to do it but also even deeper than that he really doesn't he wants to live

izzy starts to laugh the same way he started to cry last episode with like a really loud sudden gasp of air. also he laughs so weirdly jesus christ

also jesus this is so fucking dark. i mean obviously but im fucking reeling right now from ed trying to get izzy to kill him and izzy's response is just "do it yourself you fucking pussy." fuck.

more thoughts on this scene here

"i loved you... best i could" i actually dont have a lot of thoughts abt this at all aside from it just seems like a weird thing for ed to say. idk. i have a few metas abt this saved that ive been meaning to read so maybe that will help me deconstruct this but i think i'd need more time to figure out why this line feels weird to me. it could literally just be that i dont like blackhands at all but idk. probably not gonna unpack my feelings for a while tho bc in terms of everything i want to dig into from these 3 episodes alone this is at the bottom of that list lol

love how ed tells frenchie "go live" right before he steers them into a storm and tries to doom everyone on the ship.

"two messed-up kids probably" i know this is one of those things that some viewers are just always gonna have a problem with but it's so fucking funny to me how stede is like. never seeing his children again. and is like "yeah they're probably traumatized by how i was a bad father. well that's for mary and doug to deal with!"

lucius winking when he calls stede quite the fuck-up. i love this snarky gay

anyway for how fucked up the vibe is on ed's ship at least they weren't playing human puppet or making people catch rats with their teeth

shit this is longer than the last post. anyway list part 3:

ok i completely forgot abt this scene where the crew back on the Revenge is talking in the hallway before they go confront ed but i think it's rlly interesting how jim is the only one who says anything abt how ed's sudden cheery mood is NOT a good thing. fang is like "do we think he's better?" and jim's like "fuck no!" and frenchie's like "idk he seemed pretty calm to me." like this is so fucking juicy to me. jim knew this wasn't "better." i think this is because jim kinda gets it. they know what it's like to be told you're only meant for violence. and they know what it's like to want something softer. last season i probably wouldnt have said jim understood ed's suicidal tendencies but the way jim KNOWS that this isnt better makes me wonder if they understand this, too.

altho when they go outside and ed is like "it's a bad storm! and i took the wheel! and im gonna fire into the mast! we're all gonna die!!" jim yells "what do you want, you piece of shit!" (in spanish) so maybe they dont get the suicide bit of it. but they did understand that ed wasn't better.

oh ed's voice in "what do i want?" is so whiny and sad. babygirl is fucking going through it. good thing the rain is hiding his tears ahaha. ha.

"all love dies im just hastening the process" objectively this is fucked up but also it is so funny to me that he's like "i got dumped so now nobody else is allowed to be happy and in love." he broke up all the couples at the end of s1 and he raided a fucking wedding. babygirl i love you. you are so unwell

VERY RANDOM THOUGHT and i would have to go back to last episode double check but i dont think any of the background crew are women?? it's just archie??? which kinda bums me out a bit like i dont only want female rep in the main cast i want to see random background women too. i could be entirely wrong abt this tho just in this scene i only see dudes in the background

anyway archie being like "alright i guess we're fighting" bc this is archie's normal. archie is just kinda resigned to her life being shit.

stede crossing out "dead" and circling "alive" is so fucking funny to me hfjkhdjvgdfjk like. manifesting.

but also he does kinda manifest that in the next episode doesnt he?? he loves ed back to life ahaha oh god oh fuck *starts sobbing*

"looks like he's gotten back into arson" okay and??? wee john's an arson enthusiast also, cmon lucius dont judge a man for his hobbies

stede's fucking face when he considers what lucius said abt "maybe his time with you is the best it's gonna get for him" like i think he tries to think abt it and just. cant. he cant fucking accept that. god im gonna throw up.

HNNNNG THE RUN FROM ME SONG COMING BACK IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT

i cant get over how archie is like. yeah bro it's fine. it's cool just kill me im not gonna hold it against you.

jim's like "YOU WERE GONNA DO IT ANYWAY!!" and ed's like "teehee yeah :3 u got me"

oh bro some of the random background crew people just fully go overboard huh. damn. rip those guys.

ok so im choosing to believe that izzy fired a lucky shot there bc the man couldn't even shoot himself point blank in the skull but im supposed to believe that he got ed right in the arm from the other side of the deck in the middle of a crazy storm and the ship rocking like crazy and izzy's probably suffering from like, insane amounts of blood loss?? i dont buy it. i mean it doesnt matter at all but i think he was trying to hit ed's general torso area and if ed didnt have his arm held out izzy would've missed. like i said tho this makes no fucking difference. it's just a fun little headcanon hehe

love how ed laughs like an absolute maniac here. babygirl u are so unhinged.

wait it's fucking wild how in the middle of all this we to cut to auntie putting the map back together and then we see that zheng is bringing her fleet over land. anyway this is foreshadowing obviously but like considering the song choice and cutting this between ed's suicide attempt and then the crew mutinying. is a choice. and idk why they made that choice yet.

it is a pretty dramatic reveal tho. i didnt appreciate that the first time but holy shit. she's just pulling her ships all the way to the caribbean. girlboss.

and then the mutiny. the relief on ed's face hurts me so fucking much

other thoughs about this scene here

HOLY SHIT THIS POST CREDITS SCENE AHHHHHH

so first of all. auntie saying olu can be allowed to clean up random hairs around the desk and zheng being like "there's not that much hair" girl you know you're lying. her hair is so long and so gorgeous and you KNOW random strands end up making scary-ass hair spiders if somebody doesn't regularly sweep things up

second of all: olu pretending there's a carrier bird with a messege for zeng to give her a break is SO CUTE. OLU. OLU YOU ARE SUCH A SWEETHEART.

[gropeablegirl]

Ranting / venting! Ignore if you want

i have to stop waking up before the sun it’s unsafe for my head

Bc what. Is wrong with me eeee

I feel like I’m never going to be satisfied or happy (romantically/sexually) and it’s getting a little scary like. (Besides the genuinely horrific state of the world and colonization,, and multiple genocides ongoing. Now. )

Idk. Don’t wanna be scary /: but don’t really wanna be here

Im having such a hard time coping i need to bite the bullet and deal with the outcome

I just don’t even feel like one person /:

Anyway, this world needs a revolution. Be part of it.

Some people on tumblr scare me and i knowwww many people only have slivers of themselves on here but people who are genuinely only horny 24/7 like who have trouble empathizing with ongoing global issues,,, i think we must put the tumblr away

I just keep finding too many people who have.,, interesting/intense coping mechanisms for themselves that are lowkey triggering to me and my brain just feels like it keeps getting stuck in the toaster like aaaaa get me out of here it’s burning me iAMDONE IM DONE i had enough 😭

And some i get and some i like,, but people who are more intense about it…Scare me. Because most of the ways these things happen is grooming. Like i stg im not kink shaming. ,, don’t support grooming ???? Like genuine grooming pls.

I got my own trauma to rework in a healthy way through my own autonomy but like. I still wish it never happened?

I need to make a blog to write about this lore bc my head is too full urhejsjk

But can’t link that obv some actual dangerous people might want to use my trauma against me and that’s. Not for me.

I hate that tumblr lets me express these things but it’s too addicting bc SOXIAL MEDIA

And bc a lot of these things are what folks crave irl i think i have issues trying to find this irl and then im just stuck here.

But i feel like i can’t be or share my truest self irl.

No one knows who i am :( and i don’t think anyone ever will

At least my funeral will be a fun and dramatic and memorable time for those who celebrate

Also people talk abt how right and wrong shouldn’t be based on your ‘morals’ (puritanical morals probably?) but like. Don’t? kink? with the actual conservative misogynist? That trauma makes me scared cause I feel like those types of people genuinely perpetuate it,,, esp if you go to someone who GENUINELY FEELS THAT WAY. like why are you empowering genuinely dangerous old white men. HUH??? It makes me question the safety of their audiences and makes me upset

I just wish people actually liked kink and were not just genuinely disgusting people (knowingly engaging in perpetuating harmful/racist/misogynistic ideas) who deserve to be retaught until they can finally understand. Ugh

[sunsetstarving]

ok hi i like think i talked abt your ocs with you when you first shared the slides with me but i was going through my drive and i saw it again and i was like ok wait let me look! and i now have Thoughts

- FIRST OFF nefise is like so eldest daughter immigrant trauma. if this makes sense. i also understand why she turns evil for a bit

- dani's like my fave ever btw im like so not normal abt him. just the implications of the whole being someone whos always positive and optimistic (slightly delusional) and then starting to lose all that when the world starts ending. starting to lose yourself bc youre the literal fucking symbol of hope but you cant bring yourslef to be the least bit hopeful. god. rattling him around in my brain

- pls give kore a kazoo. im begging. also a turtle fits the green theme. shes like the coolest btw and i get the whole. like wanting to be someones first chocie but you feel like theyre always going to choose someone that they can love and love them romantically and hating yourself a little bit for not being able to like ouchhh man why you gotta zir like that. ough

- TESNIS LIKE THE BIGGEST LOSER im so obsessed w her. i love that you made her a jock but also a debate kid i think thats the funniest combo. also like the whole trying to remain unchanging/constant like the "if it aint broke dont fix it" mentality but then it DOES break and DANI breaks so then she HAS to change to fix it and. arhghghgh

- felicite!!!!! dude. ok the implications of her being the symbol of chance and the fact that the symbol of chance even exists at all is so crazy to me because like yeah. sometimes it truly is Like That. sometimes things are so out of your control and you can do nothing to stop it its just pure fucking luck and fate and the univesre shifting and ohhhhh god. i am so !!!! amped abt her and skull/fibula btw

- YOOO nefise and dani. idk if youve watched jjk but they are So satosugu coded i will elaborate if youd like but this is rlly long already i might have to take this to disc

- tesni and delshad WILL drive me insane. the absolute vulnerability and horrors of being so deeply known........ ugh

- said this already but. felicite and skull chance and death like broooo the fact that something so horrible something that takes so much from ppl is so closely tied to the concept of randomness and the unknwon. driving me insane

ANYWAYSSS thats like all of it um. yes i have thoughts! anyways

HIIII okay i finally got on desktop it took me a little bit we have been going everywhere. traveling is enjoyable sometimes but also...not always lmao BUT ANYWAY ILY AUGH i've been thinking abt this since last night. HELP all lighthearted but i do not think u ever said anything!! only the discord interaction i have been waiting ever since and boy oh boy.... the personal connection to every single one of them and the way u pointed them out immediately.

YEAH nefise is kind of just Like That. it came with the territory (being the asian character i project on forever) and also like..... the turning evil bit is everything to me bc the way she regrets none of it when she thinks about it from a distance but all it took was the sliver of hesitation, the flicker of exhaustion from constantly throwing herself at every problem, to simply take her down completely and have the team lose her. Yeah

dani my beloved... he was the original knight concept too. upon seeing this i HAD to draw him being a miserable fucker (<- phone battery ran out i will send these once i can grab some pictures!!) *jeopardy voice* what is burning out from the expectation to lead your world to the future despite having none of what you're supposed to be giving

YEAHHHH YOU GET IT. the. knowing that you're not broken and that this is just you but then the people you love make it feel like you shouldn't be the way that you are, that you need to change? forever experience. and while it continues to hurt and i don't think we can escape it i think good friends are a good remedy for the pain... and also ur so right they need a turtle so bad

and AHAHAHA tesni wahoo loser overachiever asian parents' favorite child (good at everything) and also biggest problem (anger issues) of all time. also love the family drama aspect like Yeah ofc she's going to have to change and yield and give ground. she has a sibling to take care of damn it

FELICITE AND FIBULA AOUGH.... this is so funny bc i literally had no clue what she was going to be but then chance sounded good. and then i was like Oh. the Implications of this are horrific. additionally yeah i think abt it all the time.... i've been following this comic series on instagram abt the grim reaper being a kind guy bc he's the messenger, not the one who controls any of it, and like... ouch, you know? the fact that it is unfair and horrible and there is no good timing about it. that sometimes it lines up just in time for a hilarious pun. death and chance being intertwined in the most cosmically random ways but in ways that absolutely make sense.

I STILL HAVEN'T the urge to ask vs the urge to wait until i've gotten to it vs the knowledge i will Not be doing that any time soon and. i should probably ask. pls tell me more in disc i would love to hear

tesni and delshad will kill me btw. that's like. going to suck. i'm gonna be so emotions about it bc it is not something i have yet delved into but i think abt it all the time. even more family drama. all of them scrambling to adjust to some of the most awful news one can never take back. grahh or whatever

anyway. i love this i love u i am SOOO happy you sent this!!!!! i am always so ecstatic to talk about the kids they are so beloved to me fr <333

[hematomes]

Okay, so I need some help... I'm trying to learn how comp works (you know how it be lmao) and I wanna know if I'm correct in what I'm getting at with Haith.

So, using his E makes his attacks Dendro based as long as he has one little mirror. It mentions that this "cannot be overridden" so Benny has merit as a support even at C6. This Dendro damage will scale with EM, so I need to focus on that for Haith, along with the typical. Since his E turns his attacks Dendro, I should also probably focus a bit on ER so I can use it more often? Or is that CD? Also with the typical Crits. Using HoD, I should probably keep Zhongli on here (does his RES shred help with using Haith's attacks as Dendro?). I don't think I can utilize him in a Burgeon or Hyperbloom team since his Dendro mirrors disappear if he's off field. I could potentially use him as the general DPS of a Hyperbloom if I replace my Zhongli with Kokomi and keep Dendro Traveler and Fischl (or switch Fischl for Shinobu).

This comp stuff is hard how do you do it??

HIII i got so excited yesterday bc it's been a while since i talked in-depth abt theorycrafting and im so pumped you're not only looking into it but turning to me for help AVSJZB

anyway let's get into it!!!! just note that since i don't have al-haitham and never intended to pull for him, most of what i know is from some guides i read just now so idk if it'll be 100% accurate

"Benny has merit as a support even at c6" while it's technically true bc as you said al-haitham's infusion cannot be overridden, i would avoid using bennett in most dendro comps (except burgeon, but even then thoma is a better option). burning is a weird reaction zbdjzj but that's mostly personal feelings

"Since his E turns his attacks dendro, I should probably focus a bit on ER" nope!! well, you should still get a little er% for him, but it's unrelated to his elemental skill/E. energy recharge is only for the elemental burst/Q, the E is what allows you to get particles to recharge said Q. like you said, E is only "impacted" by the cooldown/CD and you can't really change that (except with sac sword and anemo resonance but that won't be a thing with al-haitham)

zhongli's shield resistance shred does work! it works on every enemy as far as i know, and with every known element

SO from what ive seen, al-haitham's best teams are hyperbloom, which isn't surprising bc this reaction is honestly cracked. like you mentioned, kuki/kokomi/dmc is probably your best shot at it, and al-haitham is a great enabler so on-field with his dendro normal attacks to apply dendro!!! while the rest apply their elements off-field

however he also works in more classic spread team (im assuming zhongli/fischl/dmc, which is ironically my cyno team). but burgeon is actually also an option, with thoma and kokomi for example!! any bloom-based reaction is good with him

the only thing you need to keep in mind is, depending on the team, you'll need different stats. hyperbloom, bloom and burgeon rely entirely on elemental mastery and al-haitham will be the trigger so that means em/em/em build, while spread dps will need em/dendro/crit build. crit is still good in bloom-based teams bc he still needs to do dmg with his normal attacks etc, but you'll look for it with the weapon & the substats rather than main stats!!!

FINALLY yes the team comp stuff is rly hard and it took me several months to get by, but it's really worth it bc now i can 36* the abyss more or less easily AND i can help other ppl do the same with their roster, even if i don't have the same characters. plus i can infodump abt theorycrafting and team building and artifact farming and that gives me sm serotonin i think it's pathological at this point

[reisdump]

Yk the trope i hate the most... "FRIENDS TO LOVERS"

I wasn't always like this..FTL trope used to be my fav, like its literally my biggest dream, like to have my male best friend as my lover..but that went straight downhill when I date my best friend back in 2019...I was so happy at first, like even the little things would make me giggle, act all girly and all (which wasn't really so me). But after a month, everything ended..I've dreamed of everything..graduating our grade 12 tgt, dating in college, cafe dates, getting married EVERYTHING to the point that ppl will think im insane bc I LOVE HIM SM. I was so hurt, like my heart literally broke into pieces..I hurts, so fucking much to the point that I got sick. Ever since then, I have never thought of dating again..like ever.

It's been 5 years already since then, I've moved on and completely healed... but the fear of getting heartbroken and all those things again traumatized me so bad that I still haven't dated anyone again.. I have this fear, of being in pain again..or maybe the fear of being abandoned by someone again, as if im some object that they can just throw away when they got tired of it.

I'm in my 2nd year of college now, studying for my bachelors..I have this friend, a MALE best friend from our senior, we clique off really well since the day we met..we literally hang out everywhere despite the age gap..ppl would suspect us, but we both knew that it was purely platonic(or maybe only for me?) and feel as if we don't need to explain or deny to anyone. We've been friends for almost a year now, I treat him just like my older brother since I don't have one and always envied to have one. I used to have thoughts like "Oh, he must be the one God gave me as my older brother, someone who will stick by my side and defend for me"..I was so grateful to have him, and really admire him as my best friend and as an older brother. I really thought it was all like that way, even for him but NO, it wasn't. It was that I was just too oblivious.

We were talking abt random stuff last night, and idk how we got into that topic but he somehow just started confessing his feelings for me, saying something like "I used to wonder, how do you want me to confess/propose? I've been thinking hard and know its gonna be hard bc you have high expectations, but i want to...", "Whenever I try to get away from you, you somehow always get sick and I can't help but come closer to you yet again". He totally makes me flabbergasted..like I was out of words for a minute, but I still try to act all cool..saying something like "Maybe God wants u to keep staying by my side as a good friend you are" but he keep confessing anyway😭

His words have been on my mind since then. I'm still surprised, like ever.. and i'm furious.. like im literally burning inside. But somehow, my heart broke..having this thought like I lost another best friend again. Oh, another side story- There's this boy from my batch, my old lab partner..he was really kind and sweet, he was a great friend too..he somehow have a crush on me and confess too😭

Maybe its bc of this, i'm afraid and mad at myself..like it makes me think, "What have I done? I thought I've always just look at them just as a friend but maybe i did something wrong?" ... I really don't want to lose another friend and get my heart broken just bc of these stupid feelings..idk what i'm gonna do with him..He is a great man, he's smart, ambitious, caring for ppl around him, like he literally cares for me a lot but yk, maybe bc of my past experience, I just can't do this anymore..especially with my best friend. Either he'll break my heart or I'll break his heart bc of my past experiences

I just hope that he finds someone who loves him truly and that we'll always be best friends regardless🫠

[starlightkun]

lmao i saw this on my dash and was wondering if you felt this way

https://www.tumblr.com/16woodsequ/727490027584667648?source=share

cause you rarely write drabbles, everything you write is like full fic length and takes longer and i see you posting little progress updates and little notes about each fic without spoiling. as someone who likes to talk (may or may not be the adhd idk) i cant imagine being in your position like WEREWOLF SUNGCHAN! EXISTS! IN MY MIND! AND ON THIS DOCUMENT THAT YOU CANT SEE! BUT HE'S REAL!! HE'S REAL TO ME!! like how do you do it? having no one to scream to about your fics when you're writing? and having to wait until its completed and uploaded to have people to talk about it with? like especially with all the crack fics you're writing atm, i would be BURNING with the need to show people how funny your writing is

p.s. medication update: im going to switch from methylphenidate to dexamphetamine tmr because apparently im intolerant to ritalin and i think you're on dexamphetamine rn? im hoping that i see some benefits from it. btw your success is keeping some of my spirit and motivation up despite how abysmal ritalin was for me so thank you for posting about how Adderall was for you i really appreciate having someone experiencing meds alongside me 🫶🏻

-✨anon

link

LMAO sometimes that's me and sometimes i'm writing and i'm like "im never letting another living human see this abomination im writing rn this is the worst thing i've ever written and the only penance for what i've done is to throw myself off a cliffside" like there is no in between im either SO EXCITED FOR IT AND ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT AND AM SO AKSEGKJHKJGKTR or i think it's awful and consider deleting it almost immediately after like this scene for changer2 im writing rn like literally as i got this ask (im not gonna delete it but she is gonna b HEAVILY EDITED)

it's fr so hard having werewolf sungchan AND hockey player sungchan BOTH IN MY MIND RN LIKE 🤪 screams everyday i put on my uniform to go fight in the idgaf war on the side of gaf 🫡🫡🤪🤪🫡🤪🫡🤪🤪🤣🤣🫡🤪🤪🫡 lest we also not forget that single dad kun is in here too and some other fellas that yall dont know abt like its soooooo bad in here for me

sometimes i contemplate posting random one-liners or snippets when i write things that make me teehee extra hard or r like rlly 🔥🔥🚨🚨🚨 but i always get worried about spoilers versus teasers soooo i keep it locked away all to myself and maybe go a lil crazy idk who's to say so i do more vague type stuff like talking about how there's a 2.6k makeout scene without posting any actual lines from it, or saying that one of my favorite character bits that i think is genuinely super funny is in dr. magic but not saying what it is, etc., etc., OR also doing ask games like word in a wip where y'all can try to get some lil snippets from me (which i feel i am always very generous with lol)

p.s. to ur p.s.: very happy to hear that you're getting switched off the meds that weren't working for you! i'm on "amphetamine salts" (generic adderall) which is a combo of dextroamphetamine and levoamphetamine, but pretty much yeah it's the big one in the amphetamine class of adhd meds. it has a sightly different effect than dextroamphetamine alone since it has levoamphetamine as well, which lasts longer and can produce better results in some people (pls go w ur dr on this im not giving medical advice omg just what i learned in my psych classes and the information i've been given). i actually just saw my dr today to check in on how i was doing on the adderall (reg check-up appt). i was rlly worried bc the initial good results i saw in the first days were practically gone after like the first week and i was practically back to normal (i.e., bad. my kitchen is a fucking mess again) and when i told him that he was like "lol that's fine! that was just the trial dose! so we can up you to a normal dose now since you saw good results at first" so hopefully i'll be functioning again 👍 so i love this for us 🫶 rooting for us 🫶🫶

[merriclo]

hey im talking abt my eoe. vent warning lmao

oh also. lots of discussion of food and difficulties eating cause eoe is an esophageal disorder :(

sooo my meds stopped working a while ago :) and for the past like month and a half i’ve randomly been getting that horrible burning pain in my throat and back. and it’s at the worst fucking times too. a few days ago my adhd pill got stuck in my esophagus and i was holding back tears all orchestra rehearsal. which okay a) fucking humiliating, and b) fucking humiliating.

i feel like i can’t even eat anything anymore too like it’s also so damn painful. sometimes even my own spit feels like acid dude. i can’t even eat a pear without wanting to cough it all up

and it’s painful as hell when i’m trying to sleep too so i’ve been having the world’s shittiest sleep for the past month and a half. and now my grades are dropping not only because i have close to no sleep + no nutrition but also bc fun fact my adhd meds aren’t working anymore either!!!!! yippie!!!!!!! so i can’t remember or understand basically anything and it’s infuriating

idk i know this isn’t that serious but the pain has been getting worse and i keep feeling nauseous but i can’t just puke and get it over with. and it’s the first quarter of the year and so now all my teachers think i’m a fucking idiot cause i don’t have the heart to just tell them

live laugh love ig man idk.

[just-some-random-blogger]

good morning/day/evening, my lovely angel!! youre soso sweet and cute i cant TT 'i was bummed out i couldnt write' its ok dont worry about me! your comfort is the thing that matters the most! give yourself time. 'i havent written in 2 days' its ok. i cant state but do you think it may be burning out? bc you work really hard and have lots of work beside writing. you really owe nothing to anyone. ill repeat it as many times as i need. bc you do great, you study, do covers, you do a lot. thats more than great! you still worth the world and let down noone. and if anyone have the guts to say otherwise, i can have their tongue. you are the priority. if you dont feel like writing, maybe you shouldnt force yourself to do it to even lessen your minds ability to do it rn. give yourself time. tumblrs nothing when it comes to your mental powers. i dont remember if you say smth about 'kiss it better' later but id talk abt it here. i hope things will get better for you. hope your manifest works really well and ability to do creative things cutie. its very comforting. hope you enjoyed writing it. also the whole concept made me remember the song 'guard you' by young k. its just the most comforting song for me. its released on my bday but for some reason i ignored it for months? ill never forgive this. its really good to have someone to take care of you and 'guard you'. even if im not next to you, remember im always here for you and will always support you. 'i have to keep making art. i cant stop' its great if you cant and feel like it. but please dont force and overwork yourself. you are still you if you currently dont have strength to make art. 'i do love his name' your love for masc feminine names is so adorable TT hes not completely CRINGE meme but not a kind(?) meme either. its difficult to explain esp with how humor here is but yes. 'why didnt you put an episode number' i watched it like.. 2 years ago. you think i remember? im a grandcat myself. i need to do a research for it. maybe at weekends (basically its saturday even here rn but nvm). first epp with matt smith is pretty touching esp with karen gillah and a little drama they have but i also like peter capaldis doctor. esp the beginning of his era. well see. and i never watched davids seasons TT im sorry but its true, cant help you here. 'if i cant write this rn' and hows it? 'poor bb girl witch' nooo she shouldnt feel like it TT the point is she loves her love more than she loves the very daemon. 'sounds tiring' reasonable. ig it can be said abt all my ideas. btw, wfal isnt tiring you? or like a burden? ik you dont like writing long things so im kinds worried now. 'i need a cleanse fic' is it kiss it better? anyway do wild girl! 'but i’ll listen to it later' did you listen to it?... im not making you, just interested ghdjfj. also! ive only learnt abt 'Running up That Hill' by Kate Bush (in another witchy playlist...) and 1) i LOVE it sm her voice and the way of singing is so enchanting? 2) it gives me waiting for a lifetime vibes.. yeah its origin meaning isnt exactly abt it but its the magic of art isnt it? the opportunity to interpret it however you want. and the deal with god pretty much reminds me of the au. 'you’ve got such a beautiful brain' thanks TT take it after my catmom. ive got lots of things to do for the exams but my mental state has only allowed me to watch videos with kitties, cry cats and dogs and listen to this song of kate for the past week. theres the one i cried hardest over (subjectively) and theres the one i cried hardest (objectively). theyre just cute if you ever feel like it. and HEs so tiny i SCREAMED. thats it. just cute vids to bring your mood up. how are you? whats the weather like? hope you are or will soon do great. have a nice day/evening/night! ill try to find an episode and write down some ideas, maybe youll find some inspiration in them. good luck with all the hw and assignments! take care! love you<з *freezy kisses for you to not burn in your weather*

hello my love <3 <3 <3

meow meow muning <3

good morning/day/evening, my lovely angel!! youre soso sweet and cute i cant TT

wait why am i so sweet? what did i do?

anyway LOOOK I GOT A NEW OUTFIT FOR LISA!!!

here she is normally

that's all.

'i was bummed out i couldnt write' its ok dont worry about me! your comfort is the thing that matters the most! give yourself time.

T_T but i love you

'i havent written in 2 days' its ok. i cant state but do you think it may be burning out?

T_T ... i think youre right. T_T

bc you work really hard and have lots of work beside writing. you really owe nothing to anyone. ill repeat it as many times as i need. bc you do great, you study, do covers, you do a lot. thats more than great! you still worth the world and let down noone. and if anyone have the guts to say otherwise, i can have their tongue. you are the priority. if you dont feel like writing, maybe you shouldnt force yourself to do it to even lessen your minds ability to do it rn. give yourself time. tumblrs nothing when it comes to your mental powers.

thank you. this means a lot to me to hear this. you dont know how very much your words mean to me.

i want to write. but i cant. i want to write ideas outside my reqs but also i want to make reqs but also i cant. i dont know

i dont remember if you say smth about 'kiss it better' later but id talk abt it here. i hope things will get better for you. hope your manifest works really well and ability to do creative things cutie. its very comforting. hope you enjoyed writing it.

i dont know if i enjoyed writing it but while rereading it i was like 'damn im really good at writing' i hope i get out of this hitch T_T

also the whole concept made me remember the song 'guard you' by young k. its just the most comforting song for me. its released on my bday but for some reason i ignored it for months? ill never forgive this. its really good to have someone to take care of you and 'guard you'. even if im not next to you, remember im always here for you and will always support you.

omg this was yonks parting gift before enlisting. (i call young-k yonk cos thats what it reads like yonk HAHHAH) im so touched that you feel this way towards me T_T i feel the same for you. lol its so funny you ignored it but ended up loving it HAHAH. i want a hug from you for real i want to cry.

'i have to keep making art. i cant stop' its great if you cant and feel like it. but please dont force and overwork yourself. you are still you if you currently dont have strength to make art.

T_T i want a hug. i dont know if im forcing myself but maybe youre right i should stop T_T

'i do love his name' your love for masc feminine names is so adorable TT hes not completely CRINGE meme but not a kind(?) meme either. its difficult to explain esp with how humor here is but yes.

i have nothing else to say about him so heres him with a dog <3 i love the dog dog <3

'why didnt you put an episode number' i watched it like.. 2 years ago. you think i remember? im a grandcat myself. i need to do a research for it. maybe at weekends (basically its saturday even here rn but nvm).

grandcat T_T it ok i just assumed you had an episode in mind. you dont have to research

first epp with matt smith is pretty touching esp with karen gillah and a little drama they have

i'll watch that!

but i also like peter capaldis doctor. esp the beginning of his era.

ive seen crack edits of jenna coleman and him and i kinda wanna watch his too

well see. and i never watched davids seasons TT im sorry but its true, cant help you here.

LOL HAHHAH thats fine thank you anyway i love you

'if i cant write this rn' and hows it?

T_T i cant write it im sorry

'poor bb girl witch' nooo she shouldnt feel like it TT the point is she loves her love more than she loves the very daemon.

She loves her love for daemon more than daemon himself? or daemon lovers her more than daemon ???

'sounds tiring' reasonable. ig it can be said abt all my ideas.

its not your idea that tiring its the idea of writing that tires me. baby i love your ideas T_T please stop exploding on yourself

btw, wfal isnt tiring you? or like a burden? ik you dont like writing long things so im kinds worried now.

🙄 gee. i literally make mood boards for it, i wonder if its tiring. well ok enough sarcasm, it is very much laborious but its a labor of love. i have not enjoyed writing a... series in a long time. its not a burden. i promise you i will stop writing that fic once i feel like im done with it. i was partially joking about ending i at p5 but i do hope i manage to keep it short T_T asfhs/flhsd

'i need a cleanse fic' is it kiss it better? anyway do wild girl!

it was. but idk if i was cleansed

'but i’ll listen to it later' did you listen to it?... im not making you, just interested ghdjfj.

i listened to the first part of the first song and i ejected i dont remember why but i guess i didnt like the vibe T_T

also! ive only learnt abt 'Running up That Hill' by Kate Bush (in another witchy playlist...) and 1) i LOVE it sm her voice and the way of singing is so enchanting? 2) it gives me waiting for a lifetime vibes.. yeah its origin meaning isnt exactly abt it but its the magic of art isnt it? the opportunity to interpret it however you want. and the deal with god pretty much reminds me of the au.

ive listened to this song before. she does have a very strong and enchanting voice. im honored that my fic reminds you things T_T thats so sweet and so nice of you. im honored to have such an impact on you <3

'you’ve got such a beautiful brain' thanks TT take it after my catmom. ive got lots of things to do for the exams but my mental state has only allowed me to watch videos with kitties, cry cats and dogs and listen to this song of kate for the past week.

you and i are so same. our mental capacities are overloaded. i think i might really just stop writing for a while T_T idk ive got these ideas i want to get out of my brain though

theres the one i cried hardest over (subjectively)

T_T PUMA PUMA <3

and theres the one i cried hardest (objectively).

LOOONG BABY FLOOF <3

theyre just cute if you ever feel like it. and HEs so tiny i SCREAMED.

ive seen this before T_T theyre SO tiny i squishhhhh

thats it. just cute vids to bring your mood up.

thank you they mean so much <3 this post is really cute too. im luv

how are you?

im currently in class not listening because id rather reply to you. dw its a concept ive studied before. my head hurts and im hungry. i also want to pee so badly but i cant leave my desk. i want to read fics to badly

whats the weather like?

its so hot my head hurts

hope you are or will soon do great.

me too i hope you are also well.

have a nice day/evening/night!

i love you i hope you have a nice day too <3

ill try to find an episode and write down some ideas, maybe youll find some inspiration in them.

thank you so much <3 the fact you care enough to do that. T_T thank you.

good luck with all the hw and assignments! take care! love you<з

me too T_T i want to graduate. i dont want to fail. i cant fail. T_T i feel dumb sometimes even though i know deep down im not T_T

*freezy kisses for you to not burn in your weather*

thank you <3 i love you

i also wanted to share this video about wolves. i love it so much. it makes me love nature so much. it makes you realize how important it is to allow animals to stay in their habitats.

also this tiger series. i used to watch this so much. i love tiggers love love love

i love you bye bye my love

xxx

[blockgamepirate]

(im sorry for sending an ask about this, i just personally didn't want to rb dsmp lore discussion on my blog but i had some thoughts on the techno post you made? feel free to ignore this completely)

I guess.. part of my (personal) reservation with the idea that ctechno had no idea of pogtopia's goals is that the majority of people aren't agreeing with him and wilbur.

frankly, wilbur's the only other person (to my memory) who brings up destroying the gov instead of just taking it over, while in the clips you showed tommy, tubbo, and quack all show that they DONT want that. why is he believing wilburs word on pogtopia's goals over anyone elses? ESPECIALLY as an anarchist, this should be a communal decision and not one made by the "leader" aka wilbur. and majority says no. at the very least, the lack of unity in making a decision (especially such a big one) should make him less sure about the shared end goal.

that, combined with the fact that he immediately put aside the opportunity to learn more about pogtopia's goals ("we'll burn that bridge when we come to it") puts a sour taste in my mouth because it instead feels to me like he instead didn't bother to try and communicate to make sure they had the same goals.

while i completely get the point you made abt wanting to avoid infighting (before a major battle especially), when multiple different people suddenly seemingly have a different goal than you, its something you should want to clear up to make sure no misunderstandings happen-- bc thats exactly how both sides end up "betraying" one another when in reality they were never on the same side to begin with. its not something that SHOULD be left to deal with later, so him pushing for that makes it feel to me instead that he just doesnt.... want to deal with it.

in short, i feel like despite what you said there was still reasonable doubt in the goals of pogtopia (via a lack of unity in the goal at hand) that techno just... didn't bother to look into or check beyond his intial thoughts. even with the rumors of a traitor, a majority of (or at least multiple) members disagreeing on such a fundemental point don't (to me) get rid of that existing doubt.

I understand your point is that he was out of the loop and thus came to his own conclusions on pogtopia's purpose, and i agree! i think instead the issues people have w techno and pogtopia is techno's not attempting to get into the loop, which is a pattern that continues into later arcs-- he jumps into things without full information on the situation or context, but assured that he's right regardless of how little he actually knows (eggpire, dream in prison, etc)

again-- i realize we have benefit of the omniscient viewer so signs become much more obvious to us, and even then characters are allowed (and encouraged!) to have fatal flaws like techno (often, imo) working off of incomplete information and not trying actively to fill in those gaps! but... idk, it still a point i also get feeling very irritated by (again, esp from our POV), bc he's so sure he's right when he's often clueless and it can be frustrating and unsatisfying to watch.

idk if this had a point tbh. i just wanted to talk abt your post i guess. thank you for reading if you got this far, i just needed a place to ramble to someone here but i didn't wanna linger on it i guess. i hope you have a great day/night ✌️

--enderspawn

I mean the thing is that the original members of Pogtopia were Wilbur, Tommy and Techno, right? With Tubbo joining right after.

And as far as I can tell, Tommy never said anything about wanting to reinstall a government, at least not when Techno was there to hear it, he was actually the one who on day one was talking about how they no longer had their titles and would be equal from now on while Wilbur was still clinging to the idea of being the president. Tommy was very insistent on "taking back" L'Manburg and on not blowing it up, but again: nothing about a government. (And as we found out later, Tommy didn't even want to be a president in the end. He wasn't actually motivated by political power, and honestly I think a lot of the time he was kinda just going along with it because he felt like that was what he was supposed to strive for.)

Tommy seemed to be satisfied with the plan to only blow Manburg up IF nothing else works, right? But there was never any talk about objecting to the anarchism afterwards.

On top of that, Pogtopia was effectively an anarchist commune, or close enough, despite Wilbur kind of taking a leadership role in an informal way, so it makes sense to assume that the people who made it and the people who joined it would approve of that kind of social system, right?

I mean is it a bit naive of him? Yes, definitely, but I really don't think it's unreasonable. If people are joining your anarchist commune and your vocally anarchist cause (as of after the Red Festival at least, when Wilbur gets on fully board the anarchy train), you'd think they would be fine with that. You'd think that if they weren't fine with it they'd start their own separate movement, or something.

(This is actually what I thought would happen at the time! I thought Wilbur, Techno and Dream would team up and Tommy, Tubbo and Niki would form their own group and then recruit others. But it didn't end up happening, probably because Tommy is too loyal to Wilbur to let him go, and Niki probably cared about Wilbur too much too. Idk.)

Or if not, then you'd think they would protest the anarchism a bit louder and even if Techno himself missed this, it wouldn't be weird of him to assume that Wilbur would tell him if there was so much ideological conflict going on. (And as we found out yesterday, Wilbur was well aware and kept Techno in the dark intentionally.) Techno trusted Wilbur to do the talking to the others, he even said as much in the stream after the Red Festival. Techno is obviously not very good at the whole socialising thing himself and he knows it.

But all Techno heard about was the whole "to bomb or not to bomb" question, and this has nothing to do with what you do afterwards. You don't have to bomb the country to make it anarchist after all.

Another factor here, which is another example of Techno being kind of naive, is that as he says in the narration of his video, he thought that the people who had been victimised by the government would understand better than anyone that such a system could not be allowed to stand. (He made this mistake AGAIN with Tommy after exile, thinking that surely this time Tommy would come to agree with him.)

So idk if this answer satisfies you at all, but I don't really have time to work in this any more than this, I've already spent way too much time on Tumblr today :| (this is also why I don't have the time to condense this down to a reasonable length either)

I guess what I'd say is that Techno was definitely naive and affected by confirmation bias and kind of a recluse and a bit of an edgelord individualist at least early on, which are genuine flaws of his, but I think his conclusions are fairly reasonable anyway. And he was being intentionally misled by Wilbur. Also he was very vocal about his own ideology and goals while the other Pogtopians never said anything to him about disagreeing with those goals, up until Quackity and Tubbo right before battle. "Taking back L'Manburg" just isn't specific enough here, Techno never had anything against reclaiming the country from Schlatt, obviously, he even made his fireworks in L'Manburg colours in support of the cause.

And I do think that there is more fault on the side of the other Pogtopians for leading him on, even if they did it unintentionally and just weren't considering his opinions. Which is what seems to have happened, they knew he was an anarchist but they just sort of dismissed the significance of this. Quackity is the first one to actually bring this up as a potential problem and he does it by accusing Techno of potentially becoming a traitor, not by trying to negotiate with him or hear him out. And Tommy just told Techno to shut up while they were talking about who the next president should be.

They all knew that he was an anarchist, they just didn't think it was important. I mean I think they just kinda assumed that he knew the plan, to be fair, after all Wilbur obviously knew it too, but it's still kinda dismissive lbr.

And to be honest this is something that happens in real life a lot too, to anarchists who try to work with non-anarchist groups for a common goal. Our concerns tend to be dismissed and it's kinda just assumed that we'll just go along with it anyway because we're usually the minority. And we tend to be the first ones to get kicked out when we're no longer convenient. That's my experience anyway. And yes, it does feel like we're being used when that happens. The difference is, I guess, that we usually see it coming because we've learned from history and past experiences. Techno apparently hasn't.

[cdroloisms]

the amount of angst in the post-prison writing you did just gave me massive post-prison dream brainrot and i'm just. sitting here thinking about how sam dealt with the curious looks and glances and having to face what's he's done as a warden. and everyone else's reaction to everything because hey, maybe the prison WAS a torture chamber that nobody deserves to be locked in to be treated like utter trash.

(btw i love your writing and analysis! they give me so much life :DD)

thank you anon!! this universe is ,, Fun ,, im ngl -> have this continuation of it, w/ sapnap and sam!! it’s a bit messy but oh well

(edit: i added these two asks as well bc they fit and i thought it’d be a bit redundant to rewrite this scene lmao -> the implication that dream’s admissions abt exile mightve been the result of ,, torture is. uh. yikes.) 

(This one is DARK, please heed the warnings)

TW: PHYSICAL/EMOTIONAL ABUSE (heavy warning for this one), starvation, toxic relationship, manipulation, references to the prison and exile, c!sam/warden!sam critical, violence, blood, dark themes, emotional distress, child abuse, torture

“Be honest,” Sapnap starts, quiet. “What did you do?”

Sam opens his mouth - hesitates, looks away. He should’ve known that his vague words and half-explanations that had been enough to push away most of the crowd - or at least, postpone the conversation for later - wouldn’t have been nearly enough to convince the man standing in front of him, but a part of him must’ve hoped, anyway. He’s not ready to speak, not ready to admit anything to himself, never mind someone else entirely - but ‘ready’ doesn’t matter, not when Sapnap is right here, waiting.

(He ignores how ‘ready’ didn’t matter for Dream when Sam had gone in, that first time, pick in hand and nothing but questions and rage spinning in an endless cycle in his mind, whirling together into something incomprehensible, insatiable, vicious - he’s not thinking about it.

He can’t think about it.)

“Well?” Sapnap’s voice raises, impatience coloring his tone, and it’s almost enough to draw a chuckle to Sam’s lips - he’d always been a little overeager, not doing well with silence, waiting, even as a kid. It’s part of the reason why he got along with Dream so well, Dream jumping at the chance to spend time with someone that didn’t shut him down for rambling and Sapnap simply excited at the chance to have someone that would join him on his hare-brained schemes instead of dismissing him as a dumb kid- and oh. Right.

The scrunch of his face is the same, Sam realizes, absently, as the expression Sapnap had when he was little; it’s the same crease between his eyebrows, the same slight jut to his bottom lip. Even with a new scar decorating his left jaw and the shadows under his eyes and collection of faint wrinkles belying his stress, he doesn’t look all that different - still looks young, a kid playing dress up in armor too big and too war-torn to belong to him. It’s easy to forget, but even after all the wars they’ve fought, even with all of the combat experience he’s had, Sapnap’s still barely twenty - only a few weeks out of being a teenager.

(He crushes the thought of what that makes Dream - he’s not. Thinking. About. It.)

“Hello? Earth to Sam?” Sapnap snaps his fingers in front of his face, and Sam blinks away the memories, the guilt, boxing it up and filing it neatly away to deal with - later. Never, ideally.

“Are you going to answer my question?”

Only later is now, there’s no escaping this conversation, and Sam. Really doesn’t want to be talking about this, right now. Sapnap fidgets, leaning on his right foot and then his left and then rocking back again - the feeling is mutual, then, but he knows the look in the younger’s eye well enough to know that neither of them are leaving without an explanation leaving Sam’s lips.

(Netherite and iron and smoke, bloodstained pickaxe tipping up a gaunt face, hand reaching around a too-prominent jawline with bruising force - are you going to answer my question, prisoner? Or are we going to have to do this again?

He’s not-

He can’t-)

“I-,” guilt, thick and heavy, circles his throat, chokes the words rising in his mouth. What can he even say? Can words really capture the sweat-slick desperation, the bubbling lava and heat and smoke stealing away all breath and thought, leaving nothing but a humming buzz of rage burning, hissing, begging for release? Can he really describe the endless darkness and weight settling on his shoulders, the hard edges and jagged fear taking anything soft, anything kind? Words swim in the back of his throat, try to reach his teeth, fall short; bloodstained memories haunt the back of his eyelids every time he blinks; there is so much, too much, to say, and yet nothing at all.

How does he even start?

There is no sympathy on Sapnap’s face when Sam looks, but there isn’t any cruelty either, just dark, watching eyes, lips thin and pressed together, jaw clamped shut, tense. Indifference, or a pale imitation of it, meant to hide the mess of his hair, the tremble in his hands, the helpless, desperate thing growing in his pupils. Sam understands and wishes he doesn’t; regrets, and wonders if he has the right, anymore.

“It- started, as an interrogation,” Sam stumbles over his words, stares at his hands because looking at Sapnap’s face will be too much, is too much. “I was angry. The prisoner- Dream- was desperate. That cell-” he shakes his head, remembers obsidian in his hands, remembers tearing away carpet, paintings, plants, remembers leaving the box bareboned, desolate, a cage and nothing more, “It messes with you. Screws with your head. I knew it, he knew it, but I guess we didn’t realize- I guess I didn’t realize-”

(Blood and crunching bone and shrill screams - tell me what you did to him-)

“I needed information. He wasn’t talking. I got- heated, and he laughed, and something- snapped, I guess.”

(I’ll tell you I’m sorry please please sam stop please)

“All I had on me was a pickaxe. He wasn’t talking, I was desperate - angry - I needed to know. I didn’t-”

(I just knew I needed to drag him away, he was ruining everything, he was destroying everything, I just needed him to leave before he brought down the whole damn server with him - the tnt was supposed to be a one time thing)

“It was supposed to be- one time. Was never supposed to happen, at all. But I guess I got mad - for me? For Tommy? I don’t- I don’t know, and it was- easy, you know? Take away the clock, one day. Give him less potatoes the next.”

(It was easy to do it again, I guess, mess with his invitations a little, take some of his stuff. There was nobody around but me and him and he’d ruined so much, he’d messed everything up - I thought that maybe if I took away his armor enough, he wouldn’t be able to go back. He wouldn’t ruin everything.)

“He’d done- so much. He was so awful to Tommy, to everyone- I thought I could prevent that. I thought maybe if I broke him enough, he wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone again. I renamed the pickaxe Will Breaker, to remind me, to remind him, I don’t know. I-”

Sam laughs, tired, poisonous, ignoring the way Sapnap whispers, stricken, looking at his hands and seeing nothing but red. Dream’s face, bruised, bloody, but glimmering with something almost like satisfaction comes to mind - and oh. Oh.

(Bloodstained teeth twisted in a bitter smile - Sam, I thought I had to.)

He gets it now. He wishes he didn't.

“I thought- ha-” His hand comes up to his face - he’s crying. When did he start crying? ”I thought I had to.”

[jonathangoodbyers]

these are my thoughts on the bullshit

eddies death made me cry for the first time in nearly two years and i am a master of repressing my emotions so great cool

eddie is a goddamn moron for dying like that and im mad at him

im going to construct intricate fantasies in my head so he stops being dead there at least

lame and gay that they only had dustin and wayne munson actually visibly mourning him, as if he wasn't also friends with mike.

WILL BYERS: come get a hug baby. him telling mike about his own feelings but pretending that it was eleven who felt those things -> made me very upset. will has been crying a lot and he doesn't deserve it at all. will is so deeply and tragically in love with mike it breaks my heart

steve??? his ending here is basically that he confesses to nancy and then nothing? LAME.

its good that steve acknowledges his own growth and it being spurred by nancy but that doesn't mean that they were like ,, destined to be together. why couldn't he just be like hey thanks for making me see that i was an asshole and ive changed for the better, lets be friends?

jonathan is still lying to nancy about the college thing??? after AAALLL of that??? also lame

what happened to dmitri and yuri. did they just drop off joyce, hopper and murray and then flew back to russia together? are they hanging out? are they going back to their families? who knows not me

season 4 is the season of Max Suffering

and she doesn't deserve iiittt

it did think that she was gonna die for a minute there but im sure she'll make a comeback next season somehow.

i do have a sneaking feeling she might be permanently blind

maybe its because i never got over billy but i think it's a shame that max wasn't really able to work through her trauma abt it with vecna after all. obv she did get some closure in "dear billy" but the last thing she said regarding him was 'yea sometimes i prayed he would die in a car crash and also im suicidal now' like?? she was saying that to bait henry into getting her but i feel like it might've been nice if later on she had tried to resist by saying she did miss billy in some way. like ooh henry you were wrong actually about me being glad that billy is dead bc thats not entirely true !! i mean i think she has very conflicting feelings about him. like yea she did hate him but she also loved him in a way and that can coexist.

i need to stop talking about billy sorry

couldn't anyone give poor dustin some crutches? that boy is limping.

jason dying unceremoniously by just burning up from the earth opening? good. he deserves it a little bit kind of. like yea he didnt understand what was going on but god that boy was annoying.

brenner dead? also good. hes been nothing but a menacing creep since the beginning of the show and im glad he's gone. love that eleven didnt give him the satisfaction of saying that she understood why he did what he did. just love that for her.

where the fuck did that sword come from that hopper used to kill the demogorgon??

robin and vickie 🥰🥰🥰

i knew Vickie's boyfriend wasn't gonna last after that one scene that he was in.

lucas :(((

watching him hold max while she was dying was so painful. so. she better get back thats all im saying

henry?? annoying ass bitch.

i feel like his character is about rejection, being unloved and only seeing the worst in people because of it. which is whyyy it would make sense if his ending was about accepting that people can be good and bad, guilty and innocent. that having done bad things doesn't ruin you as a person, bc thats what he keeps trying to show his victims, that they ARE bad people for their guilt and trauma. a satisfying resolution would be about convincing him to see the good in people. but his ending will probably be more along the lines of big explosion fireball eleven screaming.

eleven and max's friendship >>>>>

el better get her bestie back.

okay those are all my thots so far

[pndnj]

Cathartic- Yellow Metal Lyrics

Heres where I am with the lyrics, I referenced @25Goldenn on twitter for some of it that I couldn’t comprehend. 

*music*

0:23

Dark matter, like painted splatters, they fit better, the old saying, the way it goes, better the devil you do then you don’t know. I hit pedals and switch levers, my heart metal, I can't settle, im part trouble, they are not subtle. I fuck good so fuck cuddles, burst bubbles the thrist levels at new heights, i down doubles, and got baked til I felt high, my face puzzled, felt muddled, far strung and your floors woodent, the thought might but the fit wouldn’t. A fortnight

0:46 - 1:00

And I thought right, it’s all bark and no bite, I’m Tony Stark still embarking on a dream, took a bit of time to take darkness from the team. Seen what I saw. Heartless on the sleeve. Tried to burn my wings, so I put them in a piece on my chest , at peace no rest.

1:00-1:15

Flipped this on it’s head. Rip the script up now, flip it don’t pretend, slipping shit again, Fakers all around me, I’ve been living in pretense. Fake friends won’t make amends. There’s no need, these mean comments control the scenes. Attentionseekers, the spine is weakened

1:15-1:24

This family needs, what a family needs, and the planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving til we ascend so fuck the fence, and until they stop killing colour it’s fuck the feds.

1:22 - 1:44

You must be off it, I mean it, you know you ain’t never get with the judging and I used to dread growing my beard too long, never felt I belonged, but it's really long like a minute I ain’t looking to no mans for the limits, They’re feeling timid, I’m telling them who they mimic, why they don't look like a clinic …. Why they don't get no women, Still, we’re just fucking girls, Lost in the wrong world, Jurassic, now to this vermin

1:41-  1: 50

Kicking the game I’m serving, these losers are never learning, my fire is forever burning, adding it to my fuel, seems like I’m always focused on never becoming you, These locals that rob us feeling … was for a reason.

1:52-2:02

I’m seeing my new beginnings, watch out this loser’s winning, and no water is too deep to swim in Like I’m about to see a killing, I’m all the way that and living, flawless and feeling lawless, the prison now to the gimmicks, my vision is set to something,

2:03-:2:20

I’m watching you bitches plummet, no matches here for my cunning, you rappers are feeling done in, switching your genre, running and Running your jaw, stunting, pulling at straws, something  I think you’re a poor effort, deaf and tone deaf and I ain’t treat you separate. Living, I’m in my element, riding it like a … never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a benadryl. Keeping it green in general

2:20- 2:46

Think that you remain irrelevant. Look at yourself with reverence, hoping to always elevate. Celibate of these thoughts, killing themselves with sedatives. In comparison to eminem, you’re feeling feminine. Impolitically correct, still dropping on my dick. And I never gave a fuck about what they say abt my shit, I’ve been moving things in my mind like it’s this mountain dew Memories have made me wonder if one day I’m after you. What’s the purpose that you do, is what you're hoping that they learn, i’d like to say i’m done but it’s getting up on my nerves

2:46 -2:55

I’m looking at my life, saying what do I deserve. It’s hard to say I know when I’m walking through the dirt. Talking while you’re nothing I can see for what it’s worth. I’m tired of feeling hurt and I’ve tried enough but nothing works.

2:55-3:40

I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work. Chit chatting is the usual, talking to this clerk, i beg you don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt so everytime they see me, the oldest know to swerve. SWERVE Life is potent, bits of fucked shit… till they took notice weren’t  no hocus pocus, it was hard work that got me heard so i put in the graph like google maps but the whole earth

… around my door mat, taking over like the drones, rolling dirt up in miles like the water, and exploding like Annas hematoma. Don't need to see a slammer to know that I don't want to go man

I’m a showman. I’m just focused on the drama… like i’ve got my own insurance, show myself the pain, like i boxed it in the frame, if we’re about to talk greatness im great, the way you have to say my name like beyonce

“Say my name”

4:00-4:46

Just a bum with a cigarette, sun coming up, all my thoughts on the internet. Feeling deep, I’m just bored with the silhouette single sec,  get fucked up for the thrill of it . killer streak playing Pacman. Like I came from the Philippines vanilla bean still a thing for the thrill of scene,

Theres a beam, UFO, Leave it well alone  I aint moving, stood still on the peloton, telephone and its always on the dial tone,  it's been a while since i’ve smiled at a milestone, seen a big pile in my mind stone, me against the world on my Jack Jones, Like I’m John Jones, With pictures in the condo, far from John Doe, in the ___, like I'm Johnny Bravo, got pravado, with a small dick sitting in golados, feeling far gone, cuz that last hit was the good shit, was that stay lit

4:48-5:02

You can never take my shit come and get me. On the top floor,  cloud 9, fading, never bailing, felt amazing, inhaling, til my lungs two guns blazing. Overcome all the stunts that I pulled. A suit of just skin and then wool

5:02- 5:17

This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm ya. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here till they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80, and start moving like a ruler, ?damaged? Like a computer going fast, bars from the jeweler, bring the songs to the beach in hopes of finding tuna

5:18-5:36

…

5:36- 6:16

Grab a bat, lose my rag. Couple things got me mad, a couple people got me wrong and now I’m changing up the swag. Coming in and stealing it, I might take the whole bag. Feeling undefeated, I’m a beast with a reason, and imma lead the whole pack. Fearless like I’m Caesar, I’m just waiting for a chance to fill it up with diesel, and all I've been achieving is clocking miles in its region, moving like a legion.

Promise that I made to myself an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving, staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving.

I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy, it’s time I grew up,  a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on a mike.

6:16-6:32

I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane. The truth is on my medicine, can’t put that on your plate.

Speeding into everything, bout time I fixed the brakes. Don’t say I can’t communicate , you know I conversate with you in several different ways. And I know you know it’s references, looking at your face.

6:33- 6:53

Can’t justify mistakes, like every man that made them, seems I ain't  the one to blame. Lying to myself, only had so much to gain, so now I’m switching up the plate, see if that affects the place, im at on most days

I ain’t going with the usual so they looking at me strange. Confused, I can feel it all,  I’m here to make a change. It’s cold at 3am outside, I’m walking with the dog, thanking god that you don’t talk at all, my mind is switching off

6:54-7:12

Driving down to find myself, cuz I’ve been getting lost, lived this selfless life and found I can give a toss. Lessons that I’ve learned I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself.

So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt. Like burning toy soldiers that used to go up on the shelf. Recycle the ideas, conveying on the belt

7:14-7:29

.. circus, always hurting the way we felt? Embarrassed that we dreamt of bigger things and letting go of notions till we feel them in cement

Tired of only hoping, we feel broken men. Cuz the gravity is weight and has kept us to the ground, see the only people speaking with favors in their mouths

7:46-7:58

Got killer rhymes… no fillers, like godzilla, eating clouds cuz my smokes thicker, throat licker, my dope sicker, bringing people their hope like im the pope slicker,  i hope you’re getting the point cuz i walk quicker

I thought my city was shit bcs I want bigger like my zipper couldn’t zip up fed up with the…my love is fickle.. Residual age has a primitive face

I see demise for your limited ways, Left it to simmer, simmer away…a fake glimmer in the haze

8:09-8:11

Feeling trapped this industry is a cage

8:34-8:50

Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views, while they’ve been sat in their chairs, I’m feeling pressure to choose.

Standing here as one man, how can I do half when you’re half the person I am. If it wasn’t in your life, you didn’t choose it. It’s the funny thing about music. It’s the pain and beauty of it.

8:52-9:11

Don’t give a fuck what my suit is, it looks good so I wear it, better than the shoot that People’s wearing, changing the whole narrative for these basics and scarcity

Been facing the racists from back when i were a kiddie .born up in in 93’. been living in Bradford City..kicked me out of the schools, they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p*** still sitting in the classroom chilling, and i'm angry now that I’m older I see they treat us different

9:12-9:25

got me thinking I’m the problem cuz they never dealt with those issues.

20 years later I’m still in the same boat, tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for, man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil, when they got me by the throat

9:25-9:35

Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them

‘Boy your skin is so light’, ok motherfucker take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.

9:35-9:45

I don’t know how that’s acceptable, when life is more susceptible to perception, be the death of them. I’ve been looking at the sky saying where’s that day of reckoning, you had your prophets right when they say that you would speak to them.

9:45-9:55

I need justice in this life and I trust that it’s my fight, cuz when I’m writing it feels right to have them focused on the facts again. Focused on the rap again, hoping for the change, gunna put this on the map again

9:55-10:16

Writing in all caps again, the pain, it goes through me so I write the letter. All the shit that could have brought me but made me better.

I’m at home with a pain in my soul , yeh rap… cuz you know I was too real to contest it, my time was invested. Now I look at the industry, I see it infested, looking like kids who would write on nesquik.

10:17-10:29

My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.

I ain’t never gave a fuck about these jokers and jesters. Ain’t no answers for these things, so just save us the questions, man allowed of violence, cuz my silence is deafening, your opinion stinks, somebody get him a breath mint.

10:30- 10:42

Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening, I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine Now they all wanna hear me, got a table at letterman. Direction changed, like I changed up the lettering. Don’t believe the age ,bcs I move like a veteran.

10:42 - 10:47

Raised on the benefit for whose benefit, they’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.

…no words coming out when you open your mouth

And to be honest, it’s insulting, offensive to my wounds that have been salting. Tryna ask me questions that they know I never answer. I’d rather sit online and reply to the fan art

11:00-11:06

Fuck a sports car, coming through when i rapped

tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor

11:06- 11:17

Fake life, 'sup online, suck a fat one. You don’t wanna buy into that, none of that son. Sitting in the garden 98’ in the Datsun,  seen some hot summers but I still remember that sun.

*music*

11:51- 12:34

I make millions off of my pain, cause I know a few millions still living that way

Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause i hit the nerve. Only way that the sheep learn if the street firm, in my ways I don’t wanna change, everything just stay the same

Who you tryna convince you understand, cant maintain, let the lights dim some,  get the Chow Mein, flex, get the tape, right up at night

Why these men be nice to my face, be nice,  i ain’t tryna be a gangsta ruins my vibe

Rather be low-key and on my phone. Never need the trophy or the show piece

Never show peace in a North Face fleece. Show kids this like i wrote my flip

Cause the sign might fit till the start i’m sick

12:37-13:05

Now you see where I come from, the world don’t. Only achievement in this life is the Jordans. Committing petty crimes out of boredom, we can’t afford them. So I stole it, need a rolex

Go make sense, get yourself a job, It’s a poor man’s game tryna sit and pray to god, he ain’t sorting out your problems, gotta sort them out yourself

Used to tell us fables, now I’m writing them myself, Cause we raw like animals we all just need some help

Cathartic, I’m an artist, trying to put my heart in

Felt double crossed like Leo in Departed

13:05- 13:27

For the knowledge i’m not charging see I got it all free

But my hunger kept me starving like i’m feening for the feed

I just Need a reason to see me bleeding for my creed. Trick you with the words like I keep em up my sleeve. Picking where I fit, I see me sitting with the queen

I ain’t doing it unless you’re used to saying please

Let me flow a bit, before I sting 'em with the bees, They tryna kill us with disease

(Music)

13:34- 14:12

Why does it feel like they had the same notebook and the same four looks

Like the rain won't touch on their face, so sus when they lie don’t trust not a minor

Please no fuss, I just move through the game like must

Something in the way i adjust till i stick, Free falling like the ship, free fall till i bust

Remember 21 brother gave no fucks. Trying to project when they give them looks

In the projects, in the objects us

In my own way, never gave me love, shoulda never started this, broken hearted kid

Dried up the feeling till I stole the lid

Don’t wanna relish in the fame but I can’t resist

14:46-14:58

I like the way we feel, I like the way, I like the way

Ain’t no mistake, i am a being

I ain’t tryna be a leader, been selling out since Jesus

All my rhymes are for the readers, between the lines, like Father time, I fuck Mother Nature

14:58-15:40

That’s what they get, the connotations. Tell 'em I lived a life, and then I lived a life of adjacent? like its…. and played it patient.

Alone on my own spaceship, always tryna find greatness, still defying lines, but I’m fighting in my prime.

Shining light like Kylo while imma kill it all the time. Aging like I’m wine

Asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define. Focused on defiance, imma fight it while it’s life.

Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next, just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around til I’m the best

Speaking in full sentences, shoulda thought about a strategy before you went at the stratosphere about this… rings around Saturn, this ain’t a battle, I’m sat, I’m here

15:40-16:22

Catch me doing magic, hired and sounding tragic I think you could use practice and until that you get the blacklist and pull like a … actress? Fooling them like a catfish, schooling like a legend, happy to be the reference, fusing like iridescence, leaving them all guessing, leaking out of my brain like a pipe I aint fixing, shining like a star you can see it from a distance

Aint many of me around p*** I’m just different Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto, clean up like Im Dettol

I’m the man to put a bet on, sight smart like a weapon,  this is my kind of setting, i write the world I’m sat in, while these others live on hype, i see them fight in how they type, the fruit is ripe for the taking, i think i might

16:22-16:57

Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here, Let me take you away from here

16:58- 17:47

Eccentric things are mentioned like a kid stuck in detention tryna escape im just spitting what is written on the next page, spitting image of my dad in his young days

Born sinner when i’m livid i say fucks sake

Don’t worry i’m too cunning with no plumbing, the waterworks, i sung something that resonates, i thought it first like giving birth to the parrot perch

They see me do it and they know it works

Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse

You’ll be nervous, you don’t deserve it we’ll scratch the surface ill leave a crater, lift the dirt up to find the hurting

Can’t know for certain nothing is guaranteed, tryna be a better person than the world deserves to see cuz i see a lot of sharks still swimming in the sea

Cease and arrest what’s the reason.. And these the kinda kids we bringing up next

Distorted reality, all they needed was family, too hard to face, to see what the damage is

17:47

*i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, i don’t wanna be, i don’t wanna be, a part of this, *

18:04-18:38

Sometimes they ask the questions too deep to form a sentence, to disform, is this the norm, is this the sentence i feel defenseless i played the setlist, and all my sweat blood and tears, forgot to mention feeling lost, going off into different sections i feel like love wrecked it

If it’s not a drug why am i waiting for the next fix, affected, i cant believe that you left this

I guess I leave for the best wish, moving on like im fine for the lectures

We see it all from spectrums, cuz if we’re falling down we can fall down together

Staircase to heaven, mirror down the middle like 11, resentment on one side it won’t settle

18:38- 19:14

Mind fried but taking sense, they aint got a sense of themselves in the rich ends

Need to spell it out for them.. Made for them so witness

I know you feel afflicted but you always love it with me while im laughing at you, ya think you’re laughing with me

I try to (i love you) but im grown so they don’t fit me, my body thrown from the new to this old city so Im sick of sitting on my own, feeling so shitty, i’ve been on roads where its cold and the snow hitting

Its okay to be yourself, sit and talking to myself

I’ve been walking for the longest, just need a little rest, know i ain’t the strongest, I can feel it in my chest, talking about my feelings and of me, they get the best

19:14-19:59

They aint leaving, seeing breathing in my breath

Till death do us part is just seeded in my heart, like a work of art

Never winning,im just scared

Cant begin from the start, do i play a part in the rhythm of the night

I guess i’m onto something cuz the dark is feeling right

Every cloud got a lining, put my own miles  in, like moralis, figured that they’re jealous, that they could just never tell us to change because the weather never made me question whether or not i’m not that level

Got rid of all the bullshit sitting in my way, most of them are full of shit i see it every day

I do hearing the same things that i do, maybe that shits hitting like haiku

How much do you pay for them to hype you

Recycle your flaws but they aint like new, leaving and conceded and full of diesel like engines that need a cleaning, the ending will be revealing. Even though we ain’t raising the facts, now we been facing.

20:01-20:52

The cactus with spikes, needing spaces. Different faces, the same story. A full body like straight body direct to your system.

Could never tell 'em we missed’ em. Not even with the thoughts, we gift them. Cuz they just take advantage, guess we are caught in a system.

My soul pouring out details of borrowed time, had enough of a fill, this is for sorrow time. I’m seeing visions of Heaven, I seen the severed line, between the gospel they speak and when theyre telling lies.

Remember telling a friend of mine, you’d sent of mine, identified like a 3rd eye. Got a habit of knowing now where the dirt lies. So benign. I ain’t sober after 9, so I fuck their minds. Why you flipping out, see another

Try to rep it from the city, fuck a chiller crew, repping for the nittys, trying to keep us down, raised on the social, don’t want to let us out of the system. Me, I insist we assist them, me alone putting shifts til I lift them

20:53-21:12

I know it’s hard, that’s why I like it, I’m fit to fight it, I’m from the North, I’m backing Tyson, it’s been decided, don’t see no light. They needing guiding, just redefining, realizing, I’m realigning, in full finance, they stay silenced.

Can’t be louder, I’m juiced up with no powder. I fix shit like a slick spanner. Gone green like Bruce Banner. So free Gaza on my banner

21:12-21:51

The real McCoy, I ain’t nothing to toy with, signifying peace like a Japanese Koi Fish. How did this happen, we’re moving backwards in our timeline, killing us with cyanide, Right up for the freedom 'til we transform like Ironhide

This is bout my feelings, the way that I move affects the fate that I’m sealing. Can’t say nothing, with that something being on the page, kept inside the pen like the bars that have been kept caged. See I always had a plan, since I was young, we had nothing man

Now it’s been a few years since I ain’t seen the fam, on foreign lands. Bout to climb Everest in the avalanche. Right into the riddles as soon as you were born. Never asking the question cuz it’s the norm. See I’m in a questionin’ session

21:52-22:03

Like the manner got a method to teaching a lesson, listen to MF Doom, he taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten. Still we play cartoons so it’s never forgotten.

22:03-22:15

Chilling at the top but we came from the bottom. Writing and jottin for them life by, spotting the difference

*Dreams, was growing out of me, sun promising that tomorrow it will rise, time playing games with my mind, I swear it will pass us by

Train goes on the tracks, smoke, I’m tired to hide my thoughts, so blinded in flames, Don’t know where we’re going, I have no way of knowing, only see what’s in my head

Can’t we wait a minute, so we can savour this, It’s on my brain again, these days, It on my brain again these days”

23:10-23:46

They’re hating on Palestine ways, The oh no Palace playing Prince on the Steinway, Sending out mind waves, stop them like crimewaves, Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name

Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing

We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route, say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown

I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.. Done ain’t it, Shit just gets me vexed, and now I’m sitting that I think of it

23:45-23:59

Feeling on the brink of it, whatever it is, Figure out some shit at least it feels that way

talk about my feelings and I don’t feel so strange, finding solace, that’s a promise, in Metropolis but being honest, can’t write a sonnet, without some pain

24:00-24:40

Can’t fade away, away so we can savour this, been on my brain again these days

Can't find a way to be so you can savour this, been on my brain these days

Singing the song for another, singing a song for another

[jaekaicx]

Spare Sasharcy boyfriend hc?

Preferably Marsh x Ev

HEHEHEHE YES ABSOLUTELY

since we dont know anything abt their homelives yet, im gonna say that marsh ends up living with ev in one of the spare rooms in his house after the show, since theres plenty of extra space there and marsh would rather not go back to their parents

“and they were housemates” “oh my god they were housemates”

it gives them a lot of time to bond and make up for the time they didnt spend together before. also to yell at each other abt how dishes should be done

marshall and ev are shaking hands in TRANSMASC GAYMER BFS

they got a whole room set up for gaming and everything gjfjsjk (before theyd just be screaming at each other from their own rooms)

i like the thought of ev being at least a little interested in gaming before amphibia. before he’d only really listen whenever marsh ranted abt games she liked. after amphibia, tho, she tries harder to listen to all of them

i can totally see them setting up their own joint gaming yt channel, or separate channels that collab all the time

they’d debate all sorts of lore for their favorite games, talk abt stats, theories, news, all sorts of stuff. its especially nice for marcy bc hes got a gaming buddy to talk abt all this with

(ofc theres also mr boonchuy, but ev is p much there all the time so its more convenient ig)

they peer pressure each other into going to their therapy sessions

marsh initially went to ev for fashion tips once he decided to start presenting more masc (before ev had his gender awakening), but after a couple minutes at the mall ev realized he had no clue what she was doing. her only knowledge came from the handful of guys he dated before

neither of them are great at deeply connecting with each other emotionally. i mean, theyre definitely trying a lot more now, but its still hard. they were even worse before amphibia though.

the two liked to just hang out with each other, no words said, and enjoy the comfort of being in the presence of the other. they’d sneak out to the other person’s house often to just sit/cuddle together

one of their favorite places is the rooftops. theyd climb out from the window and onto the roof, lie back, and watch the night sky

marsh fell first, and they stewed in it for years. ev probably fell early on too, but she was in denial for years bc she was still dealing with his crush on anne (he didnt know abt polyamory yet)

ev loves carrying and hugging his partners randomly

marsh would rly like to try carrying ev or anne but hes not allowed to bc of his injuries. being carried is still nice tho

do not leave these two alone together in the kitchen. something will burn

they cried at home by cavetown together

some nights before amphibia theyd sneak out through their windows to meet up and just hang out (usually after something bad happened but not always). sometimes theyd wander around the neighborhood, sometimes theyd just cuddle in one of their rooms, it didnt rly matter much. they just enjoyed the other’s company

marsh sends all sorts of random pictures and memes to their partners. ev just sends simple replies (or none at all) and likes to tease marsh abt it, but he saves every one of them and has a whole image album on his phone for them