#im only into men when its funny
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giggling and kicking my feet over an entire tv show cast i don't understand how bi people do it
#im only into men when its funny#how do you stop yourself from spending your days thinking about hot people?????#you guys are god's strongest soldiers#rambles#cult rambles
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#i love drawing him sleepy#a doodley#vampires dont need to sleep but i like to think he does it socially once he's safe with smunker al#but Also Because he's safe and housed and isnt as tense and on edge anymore...needs met and all that#and so it actually ends up becoming one of those things like when u sleep too much and feel really groggy#he doesnt actually have a tail i just love giving all my humans little tails.....................#also very very very early on he only does it socially bc al makes him settle down instead of smuckling and smumbling around all night#which i think is so funny like ur getting tucked in Neow. go to sleep.#i want to learn how to draw big enormous shirts on him in an actual realistic way#bc i keep seeing that thing abt like ''when women wear just a big shirt its hot but when men do it its creepy''#wrong. im gonna prove them wrong with my power of man worship.#talon gets cold easy but he LOVES just big shirt nothing else
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feminist tentpole of providing women with one firearm and one large, protective dog
#im semi-serious about dog feminism like its just such a good deterrent#level of respect i received from men outside on the street increased at least 200% post-dog#the dog is perceived as a Male in some sort of supervisory role as well as a weapon#i think#this only works if you are confident and serious enough to control That Type of Dog though#i read this really funny (not on purpose) article about a dumb bitch who bought a purebred golden retriever to “protect” her on jogs#who was then annoyed when she got pestered MORE because of her beautiful stupid clueless dog
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Complete Chaos: The Cats pick their band members 🎸
matthew: finns (good music taste but the best energy)
kuli: sasha (dj), maffhew (singer to which he refutes and insist hes a hype man), and himself as director/manager because hes bad rhythmically
ekky: maffhew (hype man/lead singer), benny and reino (guitar and drums), forsy (pure eyecandy quite literally just there to take his shirt off 😭😭)
swaggy and benny: sasha (dj), swaggy (singer/guitarist), benny (guitarist), ekky and gadjo (no other role than to look like "bandguys")
reino: also finns lmao (popular choice)
sasha: himself as dj, and swaggy (singer, his karaoke insistence proceeds him)
roddy: forsy (guitar), benny (drums), himself (no role whatsoever lol), reino (second guitar) and sasha (cymbals, girl what kinda band 😭)
mikksy: sasha (dj) just sasha no one else just him actually :)
BONUS: sasha finally revealed his dj name to which last time he staunchly refused to do so and its DJ Layz!!!!
#carter verhaeghe#sam bennett#evan rodrigues#matthew tkachuk#dmitry kulikov#aleksander barkov#niko mikkola#eetu luostarinen#anton lundell#aaron ekblad#sam reinhart#jonah gadjovich#florida panthers#2425#CRYING INTO MY HANDS AT ALL THE BAND CHOICES#A FORSY SHIRTOFF COMMENT HAS HIT THE TOWERS#NOT SURPRISING BUT STILL#maffhew and reino choosing the finns as a whole.. you can tell they had the most fun with finnish media during global series huh#and also the parade really convinced them of how hard the finns can throw down huh#everyone supporting their captain in his new dj endeavour (sorry lundy move aside)#like parents who dont quite get it but they will show up to the dance recital enthusiastically with flowers#kuli and ekky choosing maffhew as singer... they are blinded by love its okay...#if you ever heard that man sing... yeah#at least maffhew refutes and pivots to going well id have fun up there and really thats all you can ask for now can you#the eyecandy choices... no purpose just look hot and bandlike...#sasha just wants a duo with carter and completely understandable sir#him and benny continuing his swaggy is good at karaoke campaign it really is just two men in a world against many#MIKKSY JUST CHOOSING SASHA. NO ONE ELSE. JUST SASHA#do you know how explicitly funny to me that mikksy only chooses sasha for dj... when hes such a big rockhead...#he had the opportunity to create the best band and went sasha :) im gonna jump off a cliff
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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if rob was brave he wouldnt have based spaulding on 3 seperate serial killers (gacy, toole, and berdella) who's target victims were teenage boys and young men and then turned around and made spaulding's target victims the exact same age demographic just girls. like ok dude.
#ive complained about this MANY MANY MANYYYY times before but its so funny how rob's mentality about this really comes across as like#yes! my ocs are the SCUM OF THE EARTH bottom of the barrel of society the underbelly of the beast etc etc#they engage in every horrendous depraved act possible!!! THE DEVIL DOESN'T EVEN WANT THEM !!!#but god forbid they're homosexuals.....thats too far.....except baby cause woman on woman is HOT.#but even then im only gonna subtlety imply it.#<- how i imagine his mind was when he backspaced the part in the rejects bios he copy and pasted about lucas and toole sleeping together#and when he wrote all about spaulding kidnapping and luring in young women and keeping them as sex slaves#when once again he took inspo from 3 seperate serial killers that were closeted homosexuals that targeted young men....makes you think!#captain's log
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i know that when carlo suddenly decided that he needs to marry guy made a whole list in his head n like had a deadlines n shit. like it was some kind of a task he needed to do
#whole fkin campaign. idk still not sure how it was but man was in his peacock era for sure#n it's like i need to find a wife i need to make it in 2 (or whatever) months etc etc#but its like a bg task n he didn't speak bout it w others. like he just said that he needs to marry#also idk if i mentioned this but i wrote lauretta/carlo first meet long ago n she was w her fiance#i just listened to “pretty music” again sorry. i like that uh governor or tf this character is#changes his behaviour from one woman to another so real. n that fkin “but im a lucky guy who gets to dance w u”#and “since u know what i need i'll even take your lead” <- fr like im sure lauretta screwed him for several times#just to see if he's really serious good old manipulations w men nothing new nothing superstitious#upd. he probably made a mind budget for this (i mean finding a wife)#n bout lauretta screwing carlo its like in this ukranian song Ти ж мене пiдманула ти ж мене пiдвела#but since he's a strategist he's patient (like i wanted to accent this quality sm i wrote#that carlo started thinkin bout taking moretti's place back in 1932)#anyway. “Challenge accepted” situation and idk fr for some reason when it's carlo eddie lauretta it's always bout playing#so lauretta started playing n he entered this play too. i don't even think he was exactly mad (maybe only for the 1st time)#at this point i have a clear image of how they met n their first dates (cringe word) n how he proposed#ie how it started how it ended. ending was fast i believe (deadline is approaching 🤯)#what was in between i don't exactly know but i wondered just now if he also screwed lauretta (i think yes)#bc i don't knooowwww frrr all this is so bout playing to me#but bout ending its like. boss fight (<- sex) game credits (<- marriage) ((speedrun))#also i was thinkin if he even ever met lauretta's parents (i always thought that no but idk)#can imagine lauretta calling carlo a good friend. i also hm ok#i started to write a comic like a month ago just bout falcone polycule n it starts w#carlo who says that he finally needs to get married n lauretta's mother askin (in a pushing way) why#her n her fiance still aren't married like girl tf. she jinxed it i guess#upd. carlo/lauretta is funny in my head bc right before marriage he did fell in love lauretta didn't but guy's profitable we'll take him👍#she did only after marriage i think bc it was the time when u can finally relief bc it's over#u don't need to think bout no yes no no yes yes will it work or won't etc#woman was able to fucking chill at last. she got the money sorry i mean the man#he's not runnin away let's finally look who the fuck is even this man. why he won't shut up bout astronomy can i get a divorce <- jk#but yeah “я тобi брехала” is so lauretta right after marriage to me (“i dont even know the color of ur hair”)
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experiencing my bimonthly (every two months) morality spiral of "it's bad that i like men, why am i not as attracted to women, i must be a misogynist if I personally am not as often attracted to women as i am men"
i would say i need to go touch grass to get over it but unfortunately I do that at least once a day and it does not seem to help 😔 (this second paragraph is half joke)
#the ocd is OCD'ing !!!!!! get me OUTTA here !!!!#what actually would help is getting out and being around real life ppl more but. i am so tired fsdjkl that is so difficult#also i am afraid bc my immune system is so fucked up and i really cannot afford physically or mentally to get sick#if i was a man or man-adjacent i wouldn't feel bad about being attracted to men i think#bc then i'd ''at least be gay''#but when i am nonbinary and transneutral then i feel like everyone is just going to see me as girl-lite in a straight relationship#and if i am not attracted to women then surely i MUST be a misogynist! because women are wonderful so why am i not as attracted to them!#its funny bc we have a lesbian in the system and also a gay man and then a few other ppl across the span of sexualities#and im just over here being the only one having mental breakdowns about my sexuality HFDSJGKL#everyone else is like. it literally does not matter the way u seem to think it does. ur fine. wtf are u on about.#and im over here spiralling out into crying breakdowns bc i convince myself i must be a terrible person for not being as attracted to women#i need to figure out how to stop going through this spiral every couple of months bc it is exhausting and so so so stupid oh my god#vent //#dandy.cmd
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only listened to like 3 episodes of the first main naddpod campaign but I've listened to every dnd court episode and then when i finished them, instead of moving on to finally listening to the actual play episodes, i just joined their patreon so i could listen to all the BONUS dnd court episodes. now im going through their 8 bit book club episods
#i love emily axford i love hearing her talk but i just was so bored listening to their first actual campaign#all i remember was like. theyre just in a swamp. and its all in a swamp. its just swamp.#and part of why i dont love it is the fact that shes the only woman makes it hard for me to get into the playing.#for some reason i dont have that same mental block towards their other episodes bc its like . its ALL funny.#i can listen to men when they're being funny. but when its boring moments i want more women to be there. to balance out the boringness#im a little tipsy sorry if thats incoherent#emily.docx
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people legit thought i was the LITTLE sister in my brothers wedding lmao. lol even.
#its so funny coz usually in my culture oldest ones get married first#well....in ye ol days#nowadays its normal to not follow chronologically in the sibling line#so when ppl realized tht not only am i the oldest sibling#im also in my 30s and am single#they were Shooketh#some men even tried to shoot their shot w me LMAO#yall jump right into it no matter the time n place ill give u tht#fafar yaps#fafar
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Scott pilgrim anime was SO good. Might make some art. Also ramble on tags
#i love young neil#ive actually been a young neil fan since i first read the book bc of my awful taste in men LOL#im glad theyve dumbed him down#tbh thats what happened w a lot of characters#theyre dumbed down a bit which makes their assholishness more charming#i do think its funny how they tried to take out some of the biphobia inherent to roxie and ramona#not all of it but like. you cant do that w their situation and ramona being like she is character wise#but then they were like. well we have no biphobia here lets add it somewhere else and#inexplicably made the only evil ex that is explícitly a cheater in the comic bisexual. or at least carry the biphobic storyline of.#leave girlfriend for guy#and made a joke out of it#and i proceeded to sit and enjoy all of it#todd was always the ex i thought was the hottest when i read the comic and watching the anime i was there crossing my arms like#am i bothered enough by this#and the answer was not. but i still wasnt able to enjoy it to my fullest#i also rlly liked matthew and gideon#gideon def is the character that benefited the most from being dumbed down LMAO considering how. Gross he is in the comics#i know this sounds like i hated it but#this is wjat i do with the media i love#lottie rambles
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hey why did my manager unprompted tell me and like 3 other coworkers a story about how he had his dog terrorize her girlfriend for three hours while he took a nap and she hid in the car afraid like it was a funny story to tell.
#i said i would never run after a guest. i dont run and he said i could make you run. i have a rottweiler.#and then launched into this story.#also once we were alone he stated talking about how he used to be a personal trainer and how once girls lost weight they had way too much#confidence and would tell men to leave them alone which he made sound like a crime of the highest order. and asked me again if i was a mom.#which would be like whatever if he hadnt mentioned multiple times how many times he had made specifically moms obsessed with him.#like to the point it was concerning to their mental state. and he just openly admitted this to me as if it were a funny thing that happens#to everyone.#i hate having to work with him when its just the two of us. unfortunately he makes the schedule so i cant even be like hey can we avoid tha#none of this on its own is really that deep its just all of it together... i get such a weird vibe from this guy.#and he keeps trying to set up outside of work events and im just like. i dont know how to tell you that i would rather kms.#like he wants us to fucking roadtrip to san antonio which is like. fucking 7 hours or something? i cant stand a fucking 6 hour shift#and youre not even there for half of that! i would end up trying to physically fight the guy if we were stuck in a car for that long#he is literally my only problem with this job at this point. like customers piss me off sometimes but theyll do that anywhere#he just. makes me deeply uncomfortable anytime were alone#prsnl
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another day another instance of ppl assuming im a straight trans man
#I DONT BLAME THEM!!!#i dont usually tell ppl anything abt my gender other than i use he/him so ofc they would draw those conclusions#and when i bring up that i dont like men so ofc they would think im straight#its just funny that when i inevitably mention im a lesbian they always go 'i thought u were straight'#so i have to say something like 'im not a man. i just use he/him'#and most ppl get it!!! ive only had a few bad interactions#i find it amusing its fine i dont take offense unless theyre being weird abt it#jasper screams
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You can also recognize someone by the sounds of their breathing. I do that with my family and it's hilarious when I know who they are when they're trying to sneak up on me lol
bruce is one of those people who can recognize others by the sound of their footsteps, their smell (and ONLY THAT), their voice, just like, anything really
and when other, normal, people find it weird, he just goes "well, tim does it too"
(that's NOT reassuring, bruce)
#i bring this up because i have horroble eyesight which lead to me just automatically memorizing pathways in places i work/live at#so that i wouldnt have to turn on the lights. which has lead to me walking up on my family and coworkers and accidentally giving them#a heartattack. so they try to do the same to me with minimal success. the problem is that im not actually trying to scare them#to me i just legit walk up. any noise i make trying to signal that im behind them doesnt get noticed by them apparently#considering that im currently living with my mother rn she keeps getting jumpscared and has threatened to bell me#my older sibling and i also stay on the same train of thought and can talk at the same time and tone. we got called#ill admit there are a couple of times where i did scare her on purpose but a good 85% was on accident#which she doesnt believe because everytime her reactions are tp funny and i just fall over laughing. she jumps. throws her hands up#screams and everything#me basically: mother im sorry for all the heartattacks but im genuinely not doing this on purpose i swear *cant stand due to laughing*#at my last job though we had heavy and baggy uniforms and steel toes are common in that field metal and plastic bits got carried in pockets#so it took effort be stealthy. but my old job also had a noisy environment most of the time. which lead to hilarious moments#where i (below average height) would seemingly appear out of nowhere and give my coworkers (6ft+) heartattacks. yelling included#i accidentally scared my workplace of 80+ people so much that one of the managers had to tell me to walk louder#the best part thoigh is that because im so small and theyre so tall is that they wouldnt see me at first glance if i was sitting and they#walk in the room. they could walk up right next to me asking where i was and id just look up and say 'right here' and theyd just die#theres nothing more satisfying than seeing macho men scream like a little girl when the only thing you did was sitting still#my older sibling and i are also on the same train of thought when messing with others we can talk at the same time. tone. and mannerisms#we got called 'the twins from the shining' once from an ice cream store worker even though we are five years apart and dont look alike#for as much as most of the times ive scared someone being accidentall. their fear fills me as much and well as a feast does#its because a lot of people see me and think im dainty and innocent. its honestly sad how many people are surprised when i cuss
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the fact these are so vastly different looking but also you wont catch me drawing the actual outfits from ingame or trying to flesh out my rook until i play the game.
#also me when i dont want to draw actual vallaslin so i drew whatever i wanted <//3#this is also a little not my normal style bc i was hardcore struggling#but also my first doodle was so good im so sad i didnt save it zzz#hes suppose to be ftm but DFJNG i hate drawing men sm even though its all i draw#every man i draw trans or cis get drawn feminine bc i used to only draw women#and men are hardddd ):#i shouldve adjusted the chest on the first one bc it looked better before i added clothes but i was crying internally at drawing bodies#i havent drawn in like two weeks augh#i cant wait to see him actually translated ingame though#its gonna be so fun and funny to see how different he looks#i couldnt decide between these two types of color palettes augh#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age#my rook#kwyoz.ocs#kwyoz.daocs
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