#im on book 2 and having the time of my life btw

[philtstone]

Kundavai Nandini bitch

whos ready for another round of perfectly stupid barely plot-coherent modern road trip fix it au. please dont take this seriously, as i didnt. this verse probably would have worked more smoothly if i wrote it in chronological order but instead. i didn't do that. thanks 2 maya for helping me decide the funniest option at every juncture. a sequel to this fic, if you're interested enjoy

“It’s just, legally speaking, this looks quite a lot like a kidnapping.”

“Oh, please. Legally. This is a family matter.”

“Which, I feel obliged to point out, has resulted in kidnapping.”

“Hm,” says Aditha, rubbing at his chin and looking down.

“I guess I could see your point of view, Nambi,” allows Vandiyadevan, tilting his head such that his floppy brimmed disguise hat sits at a jaunty angle. He takes another bite from the open aluminum package of Magic Masala Lays. “We’ve got him in a van and everything.”

“Thank you,” says the older man proudly. “It is not often you concede my point.”

“My van is a very nice van,” says Poonguzhali at the same time, sounding somewhat aggrieved.

The young fellow in the trunk of Poonghuzai’s van continues to sit slumped, and unconscious. They observe his slicked back hair, thick with pomade, and his rather inadvisable moustache.

“How hard did we hit him on the head, anyway? Poor guy looks like he won’t wake up for a while.”

Nambi makes a faintly regretful face, eyeing his thick walking stick and rubbing his ample belly.

“It is not my fault God has made me so strong,” he says.

“Be real,” says Vandiyadevan, who must begrudgingly acknowledge that it wasn’t a terrible decision to call up Nambi, after all. “You’re not even the one who knocked him.”

They turn to the willowy figure who stands proudly to the side with her hands clasped tight around Nambi’s co-opted walking stick. Her long silver hair flutters, unbraided and somewhat naiadic, around her face. Her feet are bare, despite the fact that they are standing on paved sidewalk behind a very large and shiny building. She is wearing four bead bracelets on one wrist – there had not been time to distribute them before enacting The Intervention. Mandakini smiles sweetly at them. The lines around her overlarge eyes crease and dance. The head of their kidnapped man lolls downwards a bit.

Aditha returns her smile, awkward but encouraging; Vandiyadevan rubs with consternation at the back of his own neck.

“Madhurantakan will be fine,” Arunmozhi, who has been deep in contemplation (or maybe just a little stunned) til now, decides firmly. “The pomade will have eased the blow. You know what I’ll do? I’ll fetch one of Vanathi’s juice boxes so he’s got something to wake up to.” 

He speaks with such authority that the others cannot help but feel comforted. Vandiyadevan says,

“It’s a good thing Arunmozhi lugs all those juice boxes around for her, isn’t it,” as his friend indeed goes to fetch the refreshment in question, “Madhurantakan doesn’t even have diabetes.”

“Only that terrible moustache,” Poonguzhali agrees. 

“And to think,” sighs Nambi, “when we set out this morning, it was to pimp out our friend Vandiyadevan for the greater good. Truly, Lord Vishnu works great mysteries.”

“I wonder how the girls are doing,” Poonguzhali says pointedly, as, while Aditha groans, Vandiyadevan pours the remainder of the chip bag upon Nambi’s head.

**

It was, in matter of fact, quite early in the morning when the collective began arguing over Vandiyadevan’s virtue. At this point in the day, they had not yet kidnapped anyone.

“It won’t be difficult,” Nandini is saying, with a serene, if perhaps calculated, shrug. “I do it all the time. I have about twelve on rotation just now.”

She is sitting perched, even lounging, against the cramped fabric upholstery of the van’s leftmost window seat, as if it was the chaise of an ancient royal mistress. Vandiyadevan is a clever enough man; he can see where Nandini is going with this. After two weeks on the road, and the transformative power of meeting one’s mother, even the most vindictive of lonely people – Vandiyadevan opines, with great and compassionate wisdom – can thaw out a good deal. He was there (well, trapped in the toilet and unable to emerge lest he ruin the moment) to overhear the quiet tears of relief which Nandini shed against Aditha’s shoulder four nights ago, after everyone else was asleep. Neither of them seem inclined to even remotely acknowledge it in the light of day, but that’s none of Vandiyadevan’s business. What is his business is that Nandini has just declared she will save Chola Incorporated by seducing the siblings’ idiot cousin, and by God, Vandiyadevan can’t say it’s not sort of a good idea.

At the moment, though, he’s quite hungry, and so his nimble intellect is more focused on the possibility of a packet of Blue Lays, which he thinks might be in the glove compartment of the P Investigator, Lady Detective van – just in front of him. It could be his, if only he could get past Poonguzhali’s sharp looks. She is giving quite a few of them today – when she isn’t looking fondly at Arunmozhi, that is. Vandiyadevan sighs. Yes yes, it is her van of course, and therefore her chips, but seeing as they are a reconciled team now, very deep into their quest …

“And they really don’t mind that you never follow up on your promises?”

Vanathi, Kundavai’s sweetly bespectacled personal assistant, asks this in a tremulous voice. She, too, has been looking fondly at Arunmozhi all afternoon, though perhaps more secretively. If you could call her enormous doe-eyes secretive. Vandiyadevan would think it all very silly, but then, Arunmozhi does inspire the fondest of looks on a day to day basis, even when he’s wearing that bucket hat his older sister dislikes so. He’s just that kind of fellow. In answer to Vanathi, Nandini holds out her phone, with the contacts page open, to illustrate her long roster of – rather happily, it seems – strung-along men. They all lean in as one, jostling one another in the cramped confines of the van’s interior, to peruse properly.

“CEO … tech billionaire … Rajinikant?” 

“The superstar?” 

“Thalaiva?” 

Nandini wrinkles her nose, shrugging, and wags one delicate hand back and forth so-so; someone squawks loudly and happily (it must be Poonguzhali), which is a sound loud enough to cover the small pathetic choking noise that seems to come from Aditha’s general direction.

“He’s the one who looks like our treacherous uncle, isn’t he.”

“You just think that because they are both old.” 

“God, he is so bald. Uncle has his hair, at least.”

“Tatta thinks that it is a toupee. He told me so two months ago, at the poetry reading.”

“Hey, be quiet a moment – someone give Aditha a juice box, he looks ill. Is that a sandwich shop owner in there?”

Vanathi had been the helpful soul who wired the crores necessary to Arunmozhi in Thanjai when they needed to bail their previously missing person — Nandini’s long lost mother and Arunmozhi’s enigmatic friend — out of jail. She reads aloud the contact name: “Arjina’s Super Sandwich Speedy Fast N Go”

“I get hungry sometimes,” Nandini says, twirling one lock of glossy raven hair around her finger. Vanathi rubs at her forehead, adjusts her spectacles twice, and shakes her head a little, allowing,

“It must be very nice to have easy access to a good sandwich whenever you like.”

Poonguzhali is by this point wheezing with glee; Vandiyadevan wonders if she is still thinking of Thalaiva’s terribly bald head. Does Nandini’s effortless ruse involve assuring him that it is not, in fact, so hairless?

“Oooh,” snaps Kundavai. Nandini’s chin lifts upward immediately, “Vanathi, we must aspire to be strong and resourceful women. You can make your own sandwiches, can’t you?”

Kundavai began this conference looking as if she may finally be willing to admit she and Nandini’s forced cohabitation of dumpish motel room had not been the end of the world. She looks now as if she has sucked upon a particularly bitter lemon. Vandiyadevan takes a moment to appreciate, absently, the particular radiance with which the corners of her mouth pinch and pucker in judgmental annoyance. Then he remembers between whom he’s sitting, and pulls himself together. Arunmozhi is nodding with philosophical curiosity and pausing every few minutes to sign the newest developments in their consultation to Mandakini, who is sitting in the backseat, making bead bracelets with the craft materials she discovered in Aditha’s messenger bag. Aditha (who, it might be noted, possesses quite an impressive head of hair) does indeed look like he is going to be sick. He does not seem to want to give this fact away, and so persistently looks at the ceiling of the van, and when asked about it, claims in a strained voice that he has spotted a small lizard, which they must immediately expel from the vehicle. No one quite buys this, but no one feels the need to expose him either.

Vanathi must crane her slender neck somewhat painfully so as to properly peruse the details of Nandini’s phone messages. They really are diverting; the girl’s rose coloured lips part in a soft and open oh of morbid curiosity, her luminous brown eyes the size of saucers. One of the text strings promises a Benz sometime in the next week. The other is paying for Nandini’s apartment.

“Isn’t that something,” hums Arunmozhi, with pleasant fascination. Vandiyadevan would be inclined agree if Poonguzhali were not looking so impressed. 

“Isn’t it though,” says Poonguzhali, before the gratified Nandini can reply. “Twelve! I can only scam three men at a time. That’s brilliant, that is.”

“That is not brilliant,” Kundavai disagrees. If Vandiyadevan were not so hungry he’d be able to hear her blood pressure rising, just by listening hard enough. Ah, to bask in the lovely tones of her irritated voice … “It’s not anything. We are not going to stop a few buffoons from usurping our family business via seduction.”

Arunmozhi has been very good at keeping them all working together so far, but he makes a slight error in judgment here (Vandiyadevan privately thinks), by taking a quiet breath and starting, gently to his credit, “Akka, just because you are not skilled at a particular art …”

Kundavai shrills with immediacy.

“Ayyo! How could you say that? It is not a matter of skill, it is a matter of principle! We are not seducing our cousin!”

Ah, yes. At this point in the day, they had not yet put their considerable minds together and determined to distract an Uncle or two; the first idea on the table, given that it was Madhurantakan they needed to waylay on his way to the Very Important Board Meeting, was cousin-seduction.

Aditha, who had been focused on the imaginary lizard’s affairs until this interval, seizes his opportunity.

“We are not seducing our cousin,” he clarifies in gritted, authoritative tones. Which is impressive, given that the contents of Nandini’s contacts app seemed to any rational observer to have had temporarily rendered him mute a moment before. 

“No,” says Kundavai, in a manner so uniquely bitchy that only Nandini could have inspired it (Vandiyadevan thinks this with affection and no small amount of dreamy internal sighing), “clearly we are not.” 

“Mmm,” is all Nandini offers, tilting her head just so.

“Surely there is an alternative, indeed clever solution –”

“Yes,” Aditha barrels forward, rather bravely Vandiyadevan thinks, as if neither girl has spoken, “Nandini may do what she wants, of course —“ (there is a tremendous strain to his voice; Kundavai, who had eagerly looked over at the sound of her brother agreeing with her, rolls her eyes with relish) “But how do we know — really — that Madhurantakan is into women? I think Vandiyadevan should go.”

There’s a prolonged moment of silence. Vandiyadevan hears a small crunch beside him, and realizes to his horror that Poonguzhali has snuck out the Magic Masala Lays.

“Eh!” he whispers. It seems for some reason appropriate to whisper. “You sneaky little imp! Share those, why don’t you?”

This unexpected turn of events was clearly not the solidarity Kundavai had in mind. 

“You want to pimp out Vandiyadevan?” she hisses, horrified.

Even Nandini is displeased by this. “I am more than capable of doing this myself!” she says, irritably. “Just because you are jealous –”

“I am not jealous!” Aditha yells, in the voice of a man very clearly jealous. Nandini has turned pink to match her sari. It really is sort of funny, how swiftly her own efforts turn against her.

“Well – let’s lay out all the possibilities, here,” inserts Arunmozhi, helpfully. With his free hand, he takes the bead bracelet Mandakini hands him – she must reach over Kundavai’s shoulder to do so – before starting on the next one. “If Nandini shouldn’t do it, and Vandiyadevan shouldn’t do it –”

Vandiyadevan, who is in the middle of wrestling with Poonguzhali for the chip bag, says, “Sure, I’m game,” without thinking. Kundavai turns a shade of pink to rival Nandini’s; he course corrects, with swiftness, “Or, I mean, well, it really depends – how do we know I’m his type?”

“Don’t be silly,” Aditha says, “you’re everyone’s type.”

“Absolutely not,” says Poonguzhali.

“Perhaps our clever Madame Detective –” starts Arunmozhi.

“Absolutely not!” says Poonguzhali. 

Mandakini has started humming a girlish tune to herself. It sounds a little bit like the theme song to Robo.

“And as for alternate man –”

“It really is too bad he’s your cousin. Say, we could call Nambi …”

It’s here that Vandiyadevan decides they are in terribly dire straits.

“Who’s Nambi going to seduce?” he yells. “Forget him. Isn’t it Pazhuvettaryer who’s running the meeting, anyway? Someone go and seduce him!”

With a final flourish, he acquires the chips, squashing half of the bag to his chest with tragic finality. Nandini, Kundavai, Aditha, and Arunmozhi blink at each other, then him. Poonguzhali socks him in the shoulder (he just barely stops himself from exclaiming in pain). Mandakini holds out a second completed bead bracelet; this one has little sparkly charms hanging from it.

Nandini, whose face had grown to be just as pinched as Kundavai’s, softens immediately, and says, “Oh – thank you, Amma.”

She looks so tender taking the stupid thing from her mother that the collective ire deflates, little by little, until they are sitting in their cramped seats and back to square one: despairing about how to stop a bloody board meeting from happening. Vandiyadevan quietly crunches on a chip; Poonguzhali socks his arm again.

“If I may,” says Vanathi’s unassuming voice, piping into the chaotic silence before an ow can be uttered. “That is – I was only thinking. What if I went?”

Everyone gaps at her.

She refuses to meet Arunmozhi’s eye, staring instead – determinedly – at the little tiger charm Poonguzhali keeps hanging from her rearview mirror. There’s a quiet frown creasing Arunmozhi’s brow. 

“Wh – what?” asks Nandini. For perhaps the first time since Vandiyadevan has met her, she looks truly speechless. Even when reuniting with her mother, she embodied a tragic sort of blubbering grace. Right now there is not a single sound coming forth, despite the fact that her mouth is open like a fish.

It matches Kundavai’s perfectly.

“Vanathi,” ventures Aditha, before his sister can say anything; this complete change of pace seems to have quelled some of his lizard-adjacent turmoil, and he speaks with a gruff gentleness that doesn’t quite match his unraveling ponytail. “... Where exactly do you mean to go?”

“Oh!” Vanathi shakes her head frantically. “No! I meant – what if I pretended to swoon in front of Pazhuvetteryar?” 

Another round of blinking. “What?” says Nandini again.

Vanathi adjusts her spectacles a second time; her head-shaking has jostled them. “Chola Inc legal policy says that any medical emergency must be attended to by the person most immediately at hand. A-and … well, I’ve gotten a lot of practice in. At … you know.”

“Because of the diabetes,” says Vandiyadevan aloud, before he can stop himself.

Poonguzhali socks his arm a third time.

“Ow!” 

Thankfully, no one really notices this exclamation, as everyone continues to stare at Vanathi in shock. Until,

“Vanathi,” says Arunmozhi finally, into the silence. He is sitting up straight, a look of complete wonder upon his handsome face; very different from the philosophical fascination of before. “That’s perfect. I think you might just be a genius.”

Of course, it is here that – flushing so pink as to rival both Nandini and Kundavai combined – the beaming Vanathi looks very close to fainting dead away.

Good thing they’ve got those juiceboxes on hand.

Until Madhurantakan needs them, anyway.

[formulafics]

MRS. ALL AMERICAN (2) | AA23

Scenario: this time around, alex and yn get married over the winter break, and unintentionally spark some crazy rumors amidst the start of the season.

Pairing: alex albon x fem!sargeant!reader

also includes: logan sargeant x fem!reader (siblings), oscar piastri x fem!reader, lando norris x fem!reader (all platonic)

AN: as usual, this was thought up between me and @renarots who also came up with the names used for alex and yn’s pets, so shoutout to them for that 🫶🏻 i hope you all enjoy this very silly part two to MAA!

PART ONE

ynsargeant_albon on Instagram

thailand

liked by georgerussel63, alexalbon_sargeant, landonorris, oscarpiastri, logansargeant, and 75,632 others

ynsargeant_albon my forever home away from home, with my forever love. ❤️

view all 1,453 comments

alexalbon_sargeant luca says he misses you

⤷ ynsargeant_albon ill book a flight immediately

⤷ twitchquartetenthusiast CRYING THEYRE SO SWEET

logansargeant 🫶🏻

landonorris congrats again 🎉

⤷ ynsargeant_albon thank you lando 💞

formulasargeant THEYRE MARRIED??? FOR REAL MARRIED??

rizzciardo they’re straight out of a romance book and I love it for them

alexalbon_sargeant on Instagram

florida

liked by ynsargeant_albon, landonorris, georgerussel63, logansargeant, and 245,720 others

alexalbon_sargeant home away from home. wish you were here! ☀️

view all 4,329 comments

ynsargeant_albon flordia looks good on you btw 😚

landonorris never realized yn was that small 🤔

⤷ alexalbon_sargeant that’s her real size 🙊

⤷ ynsargeant_albon this is evil I’m never doing silly pictures again

oscarpiastri amazed to see no .5 pictures in this one

⤷ ynsargeant_albon lowkey me too

formulawilliams lowkey maybe i get how yn rizzed up alex

albonpets on Instagram

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 254,321 others.

albonpets we thought it was time to introduce the newest members of the albon-sargeant family. meet Thomas 🐭 and Ferdinand 🐸.

side note: apologies for the confusion 😁

view all 3,421 comments

ynsargeant_albon I love our babies 🥹

landonorris oh.

⤷ ynsargeant_albon tbh I thought you understood

⤷ landonorris I mean now I do

⤷ ln4nation LMAO LANDO IS ONE OF US

formulapapaya I want to know why they picked those names

⤷ ynsargeant_albon Thomas the train and Ferdinand the bull!

logansargeant im stealing thomas

⤷ ynsargeant_albon you will do no such thing

⤷ logansargeant he loves me though

formulawilliams this makes so much more sense than them having actual kids 🤡

dreamyalbon I HAD A FEELING IT WAS PETS

formulalex notice how everyone hating on twitter is SILENT

⤷ dreamyalbon were you silent or were you silenced?

lando.jpg on Instagram

liked by ynsargeant_albon, alexalbon_sargeant, logansargeant, maxfewtrell, and 212,962 others

lando.jpg here’s the newlyweds 📸❤️

view all 5,623 comments

ynsargeant_albon best photographer we could have had. thank you lando ❤️

⤷ landonorris also best dj? 👀

⤷ ynsargeant_albon sure I’ll let you have that

alexalbon_sargeant a post about our wedding with the first picture being you 🤔

⤷ formulawilliams one thing abt alex is he’s gonna keep people humble

dreamyalbon WORST DAY OF MY LIFE CHECK I AM DEVASTATED OH MY GOD

lovelysargeant THIS IS SO CUTE I AM WEEPINF

ln4nation living for how close yn and lando are now 🥹

⤷ landoworld ME TOO. apparently he, oscar, logan, yn, and alex hang out regularly 😭 they’re everything to me

Thank you for reading! 🌷<3

TAGLIST: @renarots @minseok-smaus @jsjcue @treehouse-mouse @piasstrisblog @spidersophie @motorsp0rt @fastcarsandshit @vellicora @leclercvsx @kortneej81 @lokietro @arkhammaid @harrysdimple05 @lovstappen @illicitverstappen @stopeatread @cixrosie @sadieurlady @marshmummy @i-love-ptv @pretty-little-bunny382728 @elliegrey2803 (to be added, comment or ask!)

[foodiegoogie]

the marauders x you when you unlock a streak with each other on tiktok

quick lil info! a tiktok streak happens when you message someone for 3 days in a row, and a streak badge (🔥) appears on the chat. then, hence the name ‘streak,’ it grows as you continue to exchange messages and tiktoks with e/o :]

note: heyyy 😋 it's been a hot minute since i posted anything worth of a read,, i was fighting for my life, finishing schoolwork HAHA but anyway, plz enjoy these headcannons in the meantime as i accomplish the requests rotting in my inbox, and continue my wips :P

"babe, are you okay? because our streak isn't. i need you to hold your end of the deal here!"

𓄃 let's be real.. james would be SO dramatic abt it. mans is devoted and loyal in every way, shape, and form—tiktok streak included!

𓄃 so when it does happen, he would never let you hear the end of it. ever. if he sees the lil fire badge on ur chat in grey and not orange? trust that he'll remind you to reply so the streak continues (indefinitely, in his preference)

𓄃 would send you the most unhinged of tiktoks; ranging from silly dances ("we should do this!!!" he would say), wholesome reminders of his love for you, and the whole shebang!!!!

𓄃 "haha this is so u" and it can either be smth super sweet n cute or smth he thought was funny but it isnt to u (in a funny way btw :3)

𓄃 but even tho our boy is a lil obnoxious most of the time, he understands ofc that realistically, the streak will have to die down for a few days :(

𓄃 but that's alright, no biggie! james is in love with u, enough to forgive u for not continuing the streak–

"are u mad at me?"

"what? no! jamie- no."

"okay :)"

(pregnant pause)

"baby?"

"yeah?"

"...our streak?"

"(sighs in fond exasperation)"

"dove, we need to talk about your screen time. yes, yes– i know, i'm a hypocrite for saying that. but my point still stands–"

☾ remus lupin is a total grandpa. in theory? nay. in essence and style? thru and thru baby!

☾ honestly i can imagine that at the beginning of ur relationship orrr myb the honeymoon phase, remus only has tiktok installed cuz a) u told him to bcoz u need him to see the stuff that comes up in ur fyp and b) it's the 21st century? it's basically this generation's newspaper now. get with the times!

☾ when a streak happens between u guys tho, it's him that accidentally unlocks it. why? oh! cuz he makes sure to reply and react to each and every single message and tiktok u send him!!! TEEHEE

☾ "oh look love!!! this is so us 🥺💞" and then 10 seconds (or less) later a notif pops up, rjlupin reacted with ❤ to your message

☾ he may follow up a reply of either "i love you" or a "ur so cheesy 😂"

☾ once remus gets the hang of it tho, he would absoluuuutely be committed to the streak.

☾ all he ever sends u is date ideas and book recs (coming from solid booktok accs btw, he isnt stupid) and those really wholesome hopecore tiktoks or slideshows of rly hard-hitting quotes that he thought was nice and thinks u should see as well :((

☾ but he's highly aware (as the quote above this hc suggests) that keeping this streak up is a team effort, and he's aware that u guys r similar in the way that ur both sleep-deprived 😭 and are prone to staying up late at night, doom scrolling on whatever socmed app or stuck inside a gripping chapter of a book :>

☾ it’s even gotten to the point where he just knows ur up at the same time he is, especially late at night. and so when the clock strikes midnight:

dove, u need to sleep. goodnight ❤️ no, YOU need to sleep ❤️ goodnight ily i love u too 🥰 but seriously, go to sleep. but our streak 🥺 it wont die. anw, im facetiming u so i know ur sleeping

☾ BONUS HC OMG ?! he would so totally be one of those bfs who would video call u as u guys r going 2 sleep and OFCCCC IT ENDS UP BEING U FALLING ASLEEP FIRST AND HIM SMILING CUZ HE FINDS U SO ADORABLE LIKE THIS AAAAA

“seriously, love? you know my love for you goes beyond sending you tiktoks every day, right?”

✶ sirius black, the nation's "bad boy", would actually be so bewildered by the whole thing LMAO he'd tease u endlessly my dude. Endlessly.

✶ but at the same time, he would secretly be kind of excited abt the whole thing :3 like what? he gets to spam u on tiktok with purpose now ???? he would (NOT) like to apologize for the nuisance he's about to become, actually

✶ the tiktoks that sirius sends u are mostly of biggg fashion accs showing off their wardrobe and doing mix n matches of diff clothing n stuff,, bcoz Duh !

✶ OH and he also sends u those rly well-made typography edits of lyrics from 70s to 80s songs because, again, DUH !

✶ he would soooooo send you those tiktoks that go "send this to ur friend and ask which berry u are!" and act all nonchalant abt it but would literally complain abt how u think of him as a raspberry, of all berries. i mean:

BUT BLACKBERRY WAS RIGHT THERE?? HOW COULD U MISS SUCH AN OPPORTUNITY??? then why did u even bother to send me this siri.... OH IM SORRY I GUESS IT WAS WRONG FOR ME TO EXPECT THAT WE'D BOTH THINK THAT I'D BE A BLACKBERRY sirius.... bffr dont 'bffr' me rn, im literally named Sirius??? treat my name w/ respect u brat!!??

✶ usually tho along with the fashion tiktoks, he'd send u the weirdest kind of shit ever. like corecore?? trippy skits??? creepy animations?? u name it, sirius will probably share it with u!

✶ if u somehow get suspiciously unresponsive in ur chat w/ him tho, which threatens the streak, he would worry loadssss like, "baby, you didn't reply to that tiktok i sent you earlier today. did i do something wrong?"

✶ ^^ kinda similar with james in a way HAHAHAH

✶ BONUS HC AS WELLLL but sirius would totally, absolutely post thirst traps of himself on tiktok.

✶ but then he'd always post them under the privacy setting of 'friends only,' and then tag u SPECIFICALLY in the captions bcoz "oh this? this is for your eyes only, love."

AHHHH OMG this is my first time doing hcs!! i hope this format was ok w u guys hue hue :3 thanks 4 reading as alwayz 🫶

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 3

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

PLEASASSWEEPLEASE TOU DONT HUNRERFSTABDS

GLENN GLENN GLENN ITS GLENN VOTE GLENN VOTE FOR THE BOY

We didn’t do hot Glenn summer for him to LOSE. Spoilers for his story but MORE PROPAGANDA FOR YOU:

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

GLENN GLENNNNNN

Listen, I don't know this other character but I've seem some good arguments for her However Consider Glenn Close winning through no effort of his own in a bullshit way despite being a dick is the most in character thing ever. He leveled up three times and got a crab mech, we GOT to give him this win, it's fitting

I haven't dedicated the last 2 months of my life drawing Glenn close for him to lose

Vote for Glenn Close or I will make you read the parody I did of the vaporeon copypasta

I don’t regulate if minors follow me or not bc I’m a pretty chill space but I hope the world is aware that’s the only reason I haven’t been downright nasty about Glenn close. I’m down bad. I’m NOT in the boat of ‘Glenn isn’t sexy but I want him to win bc it’s my fandom’. I would estimate I have 200+ drawings of Glenn on my phone that AREN’T safe for work. Way more that are. Where did they come from? That’s MY business. But I tell you this fact to assure you- Glenn IS sexy. I’m not voting to represent my fandom I’m voting out of TRUTH AND LOVE. IF YOU DON’T GET IT YOU DON’T GET IT!!! I just think my level of feral over this man is more powerful than y’all realize. If you don’t get his sex appeal that’s okay, but don’t doubt that this is my truth.

VOTE GLENN

Glenn fuckers fought tooth and nail to get us here from like 38% dawg we DESERVE THIS. GLENN IS THE SEXIEST MAN!!! HE WAS THE FIRST FICTIONAL CHARACTER I FOUND HOT AND HE’S GONNA CONTINUE TO SWEEP!!! Your hot goat woman sounds sexy don’t get me wrong but I’m forever fighting for the man that changed my brain chemistry. Proud of our fandom tbh. I don’t think y’all understand the sheer amount of effort I have put in to get my boy where he is today but this placement feels well earned. TO GLENN SWEEP!!

THE FUCK YOU MEAN GLENN CLOSE ISNT WINNING IM BOUT TO THROW HANDS FR

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

Yalll better vote glenn i swear to god

Vote Glenn or else the bird gets it🐦🛸

HOW IS MY DUDE NOT WINNING????

GLEN GELN NELG GLENNANN HE DESERVS ITTTT

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. Do you think pickman needs this to feel good about herself? Can she not accept a loss for the sake of a pathetic father? Can she shake hands with the minivan fucker and his human gun and just take the L on this one? He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Taako (The Adventure Zone: Balance):

A celebrity chef from another plane

[b0oker18]

The X Files and "Canon Endings"

Something that I don't see discussed too much about The X Files is how the show really had like 5 different endings. We have:

Season 7 - The most bittersweet in my mind but there is a haunting beauty to it. Mulder becomes an X File and leaves behind a pregnant Scully. whether its temporary or permanent is up to the viewer.

Season 8 - The most beautiful of endings. William is just a miracle child and Mulder and Scully are free from the shackles of "the conspiracy" It's certainly the cheesiest ending but it works in keeping up with the one of the larger themes of The X Files, which is family. (my favorite ending btw)

Season 9 - It's bittersweet, sad, hopeful, and a little romantic. Mulder and Scully have given up EVERYTHING, but still have each other. I love this ending but Im glad it didn't end there.

IWTB: I'd say this ending is hopeful and romantic, but there is a hint of some lingering tension between the two. Makes sense to me given how beaten up by life the couple are. For myself, this is my personal canon ending, What ever tension remains between the two will be worked out in time. I don't know if this is a popular take or not but I love this ending almost as much as I love season 8. In a lot of ways its a fan fics writers dream ending. There are so many directions you could take these characters from here!

Season 11: The hardest to categorize in my opinion. I'd say it's the darkest ending of the bunch, with the faintest sprinkle of hope with baby #2 on the way. I can't say I like this ending (at all) but I can see why someone would, and I can certainly respect it!

Perihelion: I'd Say this ending is hopeful and sweet! God bless Claudia Grey for this! She tried, she really did! It puts Mulder and Scully in a much better place than My Struggle IV, but personally I have so many objections to a lot of what the Revival did I simply can not see it as personal canon, but Im glad this book exists and if we get a sequel I will be there day one to read it!

Anyway, I think it's nice to have a TV Show with at least 5 different endings. I'm not sure if there is another TV show that's quite like it in that regard. Thoughts?

[heartsforseo]

Strawhats with an author member

Summary: You're an author (you go by anon), and one day you ate a devil fruit. Now you can trap people inside your novels. (I think you BSD fans know where I'm going...) The straw hats found you and decided to invite you. (You said yes...cuz that's literally what this story is abt and cuz u were bored).

You live on a small island somewhere in the new world. You work as an author who goes by the pen name "S".

Usually, pirates would come to your island twice a month. The townsfolk were very friendly and you sometimes stepped in when pirates crossed over the line.

One day, you and your friend were hanging out in a small secluded alleyway. Your back was against the only entrance and you were facing your friend who was already opening the mystery novel.

"Good luck," you had said.

Your friend only nodded. Bright yellow light surrounded the both of you. When the light finally disappeared, your friend was gone, and the closed book fell to the ground. You picked it up and turned around, ready to leave the alleyway.

Your eyes locked in with a black one. A 5'11 man with a straw hat was staring right at you with mouth agape from amazement.

Your eyes widened, and you were about to open the book facing his way. But his arm suddenly stretched and took your book before you could open it.

"COOL!!! How did you do that?!" The guy wearing the straw hat asked.

"Shh, don't be too loud or the others will catch us," you walked towards the man, "they don't know about my ability. And I would like to keep it that way."

You took the book from the stranger's hand and walked away. The rubber man beside you said, "That's an awesome ability. How about you join my crew?"

You stop walking and look right into his eyes. "Crew? I don't know anything about you and would like to keep it that way."

The man only smiled back and responded, "Is information all you want? Well then, I'm Monkey D. Luffy, and I will be the king of the Pirates!" He raised both of his hands and made a fist. All this while smiling.

"King of the pirates? Don't make me laugh. Plus, I decided to live here for all my life."

"Really?? But don't you want to go on an adventure? I and my crew always go on fun adventures. You will never be bored!"

Before I could say anything back, a woman with long orange hair came up to me and Luffy.

"There you are! We're gonna leave in 2 days. Next time don't dash away and wait for us, Luffy!" The tangerine girl said.

The girl who was scolding Luffy finally noticed me and apologized. She then introduced herself and dragged Luffy by the ear. I watched the scene until they vanished into the crowd and walked off. I hope that my friend is almost done with the book.

I went to different places for inspiration. Being a mystery writer was no easy task. Especially if you only have a limited view. The sun was almost setting, and my friend was still stuck. My new story really did a poll on them.

I walked into Naty's bar and ordered a drink. Luffy's sentence rang into my head. An adventure? I wonder what it'll be like...My books had always sailed the sea, but shouldn't the author, too? No. Being a pirate is dangerous. My view may be limited, but my mind is not.

As long as I have a paper and pen, I can do anything...is what I would like to say. I took a few berries, placed them on the counter, and left the bar. Today took a sour turn.

A/n: This was supposed to be a head cannon but I accidentally made it as a story...so uh... ALSO PLEASE REQUEST IM BORED AF :((( part 2 getting posted...tomorrow? BTW WHAT SHOULD BE THE DEVIL FRUIT NAME BE???

[desire-mona]

siiiigh. todd autism headcanons because im projecting.

(using they/he/she pronouns for todd in this post. will explain but also if u dont agree i dont care, tw for alcoholism. time period is vague but autism hasnt existed as a legitimate medical diagnosis for all that long, so keep it in mind i guess.)

- cannot for the life of him stand welton's blankets. so itchy, just thin enough to not warm you up enough but still make you sweat, not long enough to cover your entire body. yes im making the blanket line in their poem about actual blankets, a boy needs to vent somewhere.

- beyond terrible temperature regulation, ALWAYS just a little too hot which is made worse by her sensory issues when it comes to wet fabric. constant slight agony and it never really goes away. theyre about 5 minutes away from crying about how uncomfortable they are at all times.

- had god awful handwriting until high school, like his teachers could BARELY read his handwriting it was Bad. OOOOOH OH MY GOD THERES A TRAIN GOING BY I CAN HEAR IT HONKING this is a really ironic thing to be pointing out rn but its sooooo worth mentioning. its still honking this is fun. 🚂. anyway. her parents made her spend an entire summer fixing her handwriting bc that was like the One thing her teachers criticised. its Fine now but their motor function simply doesn't deliver in the handwriting department.

- had a VERY INTENSE special interest in aquatic life + marine biology growing up, like read every book about any ocean animal in any library intense. his parents eventually forced him to abandon it because its "not a good career focus" but he still perks up when anyone mentions fish. once talked neils ear off about the biodiversity of coral reefs for roughly 2 hours, neil took her to an aquarium for their first date. rip todd anderson you wouldve loved spongebob squarepants.

- looooves pets, namely cats, but they have Too Sweaty hands all the time so any animal fur sticks onto their hands and just feels. so awful.

- had a brief period in his 20s where he was definitely an alcoholic, started as a social drinker but got too addicted to the feeling of not having to adhere to social conventions quite as hard, especially around other drunk ppl. eventually went sober after they realised they just Cant Stand the feeling of a hangover anymore. autistic ppl r more likely to develop a dependency on alcohol if we do start drinking. just btw.

- gets a Pretty Expansive vocabulary after actually starting to pursue literature. sometimes his family lightly teases him about using big words but it confuses the hell out of him. its just a word she thought would apply best!!

- soooooo obsessed with what other ppls idea of them is, both in an anxious way and out of genuine curiosity. would never ask ppl what they think of her bc she thinks thats 1) very broad 2) seems compliment fish-y and 3) just gonna lead to "i think ur great/ nice/ whatever filler compliment." but the dream is to sit someone (neil) down and just ask him every single question possible about how he perceives him.

- asks a billion clarifying questions about anything someone asks him to do, gets anxious about how many questions he's asking, tries to just figure it out, freaks out about the possibility of getting it wrong, ends up doing the thing perfectly. weekly occurrence.

- never fully grasped the appeal of religion (most definitely grew up catholic or christian or Something) just bc she could NOT let the lack of proof go. ALSO not an atheist bc the vastness of space scares them out of it. religious beliefs r a weird topic for them.

- suppresses a good chunk of his stims in public bc One total time someone looked at him weird while he was chewing on a sweatshirt string and he was like i gotta stop NOW. eventually develops tics and has to mask THOSE in public too. dear god someone let this girl unmask. also i started ticcing while writing that bc my body does this great thing where i only tic when im reminded of the concept of ticcing. its great and totally doesnt make me think im faking them (faking for who? dunno bc it usually happens when im alone)

- DOES in fact stim around neil bc NEIL STIMS TOO!!!!!!!! joyous day when they found THAT out! gets vocal stims of random lines from whatever play neil is practicing for. YEAA ART THOU THEEEEREE was a vocal stim for a solid week and a half which made neil VERY excited (autistic neil. how i love u autistic anderperry)

- velcro is The most evil vile disgusting material to ever grace this mortal realm. he hates it more than anything ever and i mean that fully. the feeling of BOTH sides, the noise, how easily it comes apart, she hates it all.

this is the gender part

never really viewed gender and gender roles as anything to adhere to beyond the fear of punishment if they dont. finds any social convention relating to gender to be Really dumb and meaningless, bc gender isn't (scientifically) real in any capacity, so why treat it like that? for the longest time just shrugged and said "eh, i guess im a boy" bc thats what she was used to being told, and didn't feel particularly drawn to agree OR disagree. eventually realised on a late night that Wait. i dont Actually care what i am. like yeah im a Male i guess but also im just me. my brain doesnt have a gender and i basically am my brain, right? and then never really thought about it again because that's genuinely how little he cares. adhering the most to canon with that mindset, she never really tells anyone (for obvious reasons on top of the overall apathy) and just lets the he/him happen to her but. in my dream world? agender they/he/she todd anderson. and this is MY blog so those are the pronouns im using from now on. i will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl very often view gender differently than allistic ppl, will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl are more likely to be trans. autism!!!

also yes that entire paragraph is just my view of gender, change the pronouns and the todd mentions and its just me. what of it.

[biggie-chcese]

An Overanalysis of Coalescence

(rain code spoilers below)

shoutout to copy abilities in media, gotta be one of my favorite genders. first time i saw yuma sensing aphex use his forte, i knew i was in for a treat.

in fact, the fortes are interesting in general. i absolutely love how well-established the rules and limitations are for each one: fubuki cannot rewind time further after doing so once, halara cannot see living beings in their postcognition, vivia cannot touch anything in spectral mode, desuhiko gets exhausted when he's disguised for too long, and yuma....

wait actually what are the limitations of coalescence?

shinigami tells yuma that, with coalescence, he can only use it if he gets consent from the other party and holds hands with them as he uses it. those are some pretty good limitations, i'd say. they fit very well with yuma's arc about depending on others, too!

except... neither of those limitations are true. makoto has the same exact powers as yuma, yet he thoroughly breaks both of those rules.

first of all, he uses it to copy the handwriting (put a pin in this btw) of the other master detectives while they are unconscious. now, im sure we're all aware of this, but being unconscious is, notably, not giving consent. yet makoto seems to have no issue taking their abilities in such a state. extremely naughty of him.

but, if we look at the scene in the ch 5 bathhouse, he still asks yuma to "give me a hand" like some sort of fae creature pulling a "Your name, please?" trick. perhaps an argument could be made that the person doesn't have to give consent, but you can't use coalescence if they actively deny you. so...

Rule #1 - To use coalescence, you need the other party to not not give consent.

so how about that second rule? you need to hold hands, right? i think that's somewhat true, but yuma is definitely under the misconception that you need to be holding hands the whole time. this is wonderful to me, by the way. how terrible life would be if he wasn't adorably holding hands with his friends... but of course, it's not necessary, because makoto only needed to grasp yuma's hand for a little bit to gain all the benefits of the mystery labyrinth.... except getting his own big titty goth gf. sorry, pal. anyway,

Rule #2 - Hand-to-hand contact is required to activate coalescence, but it doesn't need to be maintained.

we kinda knew this from the start, though didn't we? not only were all the other master detectives able to enter and stay in the labyrinth (put a pin in this too) without keeping a hold on him the whole time, but also yuma could sense the other fortes being used on the amaterasu express without holding hands at all...

wait why the fuck could he do that? also, why does he never do it again??? is sensing fortes a part of coalescence? is it because of his nebulous mind-fuck bond with shinigami still not setting itself in stone? did the writers simply forget he could do that? once he reaches kanai ward, he doesn't sense when any of the other detectives use their abilities unless he's holding hands with them. does the rain cause some interference? what the fuck was up with this? okay, whatever.

Rule #3 - Without holding hands, those with coalescence can still sense when other fortes are being used in close proximity... sometimes.

with that wishy-washy rule set in place, let's unpin the thing about the detectives sharing yuma's access to the labyrinth. shinigami tells yuma that coalescence "works both ways" when used, which is really interesting to me. in this case, it automatically gives the mystery labyrinth access to his friends without yuma consciously doing so, which implies a lack of control over what the other party gains from him when he uses coalescence. but this raises another question: what would the other person gain from him if he doesn't have the book of death's pact?

when makoto uses it on him, yuma gains nothing new, but that could just be because makoto has nothing to give that yuma doesn't have. what happened to people that pre-game number one used coalescence on? did they temporarily gain a weaker version of it? did they get imperceptively better deductive reasoning skills? did they gain some extra trauma? either way, im interested in how this "both ways" thing works when yuma doesn't have shinigami equipped.

Rule #4 - Coalescence works both ways. If the user takes an ability, they will unconsciously give an ability in return.

now it's time to unpin the part where we mention that makoto uses coalescence to copy handwriting, because this opens a whole other can of worms. the whole game, i was under the impression that coalescence only copied fortes. or, at least, i thought it exclusively copied supernatural abilities, since the labyrinth is technically not a forte. then again, desuhiko claims his forte isn't supernatural, so i guess that's on me.

but still... handwriting? that's a very mundane thing to copy. what else can he copy? skills? trades? physical abilities? could he hold hands with neurosurgeon and get the job done just as well? if he held hands with halara and chose to target their fighting skills instead of postcognition, would he, too, be able to take out a hoard of peacekeepers?

i can say one thing almost certainly: he can't just copy over knowledge. as in, if someone knows something about the case, he can't just shake their hand and get the answer transplanted into him. he doesn't even get the knowledge of how the fortes he borrows works- everyone has to tell him the rules. so it seems to be limited to skills and abilities, even though we could theoretically blur the definition of what makes a "skill" and what constitutes as "knowledge."

but that's not all, is it? one of the strangest usages of coalescence we see is when yuma shares fubuki's power. it's never yuma who's rewinding time. it's fubuki, but yuma instead gives her a support buff in stamina by sharing the burden of her exhaustion debuff. and while he never seems to be nearly as tired as she is (cowardice from the dev team for not giving us suspiciously flushed and sweaty sprites for yuma like they do with fubuki), from this alone we learn that coalescence doesn't just copy abilities, but it copies... feelings too?? does this mean he could reasonably act as a healing salve to anyone who's exhausted- not just forte users- by sharing it with them? at the very least, he can share the burden (or boon possibly?) of any side effects or drawbacks of someone else's forte. that just makes me curious about what'd happen if he used coalescence on someone who's forte has a drawback of making them horny. who said that.

Rule #5 - Coalescence copies fortes, skills, supernatural abilities, and can even lessen the side effects of abilities through sharing.

edit: i forgot about one more rule, but the game outright tells you this one and it's indisputable, so i won't go into any deep analysis. still, for the sake of completion:

Rule #6 - Coalescence can only hold one ability at a time. Copying a new ability will automatically overwrite a previously stored one.

and that's it, i think. these are all the rules and limitations of coalescence. absolutely busted ability too, especially in a world with heavy limitations like melami's or zange's. but with that in mind...

why did shinigami lie?

or, well, i guess a better question would be "why was she mistaken about its limits?" my theory is that number one lied to her about those limitations on purpose.

we all saw how makoto used coalescence- with lots and lots of trickery. while his grand scheme through the whole game plan could not have been done alone, he still uses people quite extensively, especially the detectives.

i used to always wonder if number one even used coalescence, because there's something real ironic about it being the ability of Number "I Work Alone" One von RainCode. knowing what i do now, i think he used it like makoto- tricking people into grabbing his hand and using their skills as a means to an end. he never considered it "working together" because it truly isn't.

but when he forms a pact with shinigami, he tells her the rules of coalescence. and he lies. he lies by making a set of rules that'd force his amnesiac self to depend on others, and i genuinely love that.

i love that a lot

[chaifootsteps]

its really hard to take any comparisons of stolas to other abusive characters seriously because i genuinely dont think viv comprehends shes written an abuser, the same way other authors can comprehend theyve written abusers. she self projects so heavily onto him and acts like his sass is justified to the point pretty much everyone, even fans and critics, knows that s3 will just end up with him living with blitz and working for IMP (which was foreshadowed just oh so subtly in the helluvababies season 2 premiere,) after losing everything (oh no, the consequences of my actions!) because of the full moon deal HE decided to start. he started out doing something bad, acknowledged it once (didnt even apologize to blitz for the deal btw,) and got go back to his life of luxury after his former sex slave said no to his love. he took advantage of the main character in the very first episode and will still be rewarded with him presented as stolas's knight in shining armor, a family who will unconditionally love him because of fucking course they will even though they know their boss had to fuck him or else they wouldnt have their "meal ticket", and eventually, most probably, his daughters forgiveness after she cut him out of his life for.. taking antidepressants. not for neglecting her, not for not teaching her anything about the book she was solely created for, for 17 years, before letting someone else have it without a single worry of what could happen to it, and certainly not because she cheated on his mom with some "weird red dickhead" i can watch other shows with the understanding (most of the time) that that character probably will receive some kind of growth, karma, acknowledgement, or change of their terrible behavior if theyre intentionally written as toxic. or, if their toxicity is supposed to be the point, for them to go full ham with it. helluva boss is neither to me; its abuse tactics and toxic patterns presented as good, like gaslighting, triangulation, and codependency. and an audience like vivs will digest these ideas subconsciously as good if they have no critical thinking skills of their own, which most of them dont. and all while being too afraid to actually hold abusers accountable in a setting like hell of all places. thats why none of the characters even acknowledge the actually shitty things stolas does and arent allowed to not forgive him- because the creator herself is an abuser who doesnt understand, or doesnt want to understand, that being held accountable is about ALWAYS acknowledging the mistakes you made and STILL trying to be better, even if the people you hurt still hate you. not apologizing once, and then getting pissed someone didnt automatically forgive you, as if your remorse means you're entitled to forgiveness. thats how stolas thinks, because thats how she thinks, and thats terrible. i cant even watch these shows in a "im a messy bitch who lives 4 drama" way as much as i want to because watching an abuser get everything he wants after a season of straight up cloaca sucking is NOT drama. its just incredibly depressing and makes me think about the piles of money that couldve been used to make anything other then this, instead of the creators self insert fanfiction of "no one is allowed to judge my character based on my past selfish actions: the overpriced, overstuffed with expensive celebs while i claim i cant fairly pay my animators i force to work exclusively on my shows the musical!"

I think you're spot on, unfortunately. If it weren't for the fanbase slavishly, cultishly lapping up everything Viv gives them and making it a point to incorporate it into their own lives, it would be a fascinating look at how an abusive person sees themselves. Stolas's justifications really are Viv's justifications, and she'll never see him as an abuser for the same reason she'll never see herself as one.

[moestavern]

The HOMOE Masterpost

Shoutout to @butchbarneygumble for oking me to steal this idea from their Moeney Masterpost! Go peep that btw.

I see almost no one acknowledge all the gay shit these two have going on so i have to ship them all by myself and honestly that's unacceptable given how much this show implies between them. And with a ship name like Homoe? You have got to be kidding me they were handed to me on a golden fucking plater.

Blah blah i know these are jokes or w/e but its a show, no one here is real, you are not affected by me wanting these middle aged men to kiss each other (more than they already do) so lets get on with it!

This is currently only clips from the show, i will go through the comics/books/etc. if anything's hidden in there and ill add it to this post in the future.

This is gonna be a long post so everything is gonna be under the cut.

Episode: (S2E11) One Fish, Two Fish, Blow Fish, Blue Fish

Homer Kisses Moe. Moe responds with "not in public". So in private then?

H: Oh words wont do it- I love you Moe M: Not in public

---

Episode: (S8E3) The Homer they Fall

Just this whole episode.

H: Are you an angel? M: Yes Homer, Im an angel. All us angles wear Farah slacks. H: But you stopped the fight. Wont everyone be mad at you? M: Eh, lettem be mad. The only thing that matters to me is your'e safe. - D: Homer, your manager obviously loves you very much.

---

Episode: (S9E16) Dumbbell Indemnity

Dancing together + hints throughout. "if you squint" kinda stuff but ill take my breadcrumbs.

---

Episode: (S11E6) Hello Gutter Hello Fadder

Homer and Moe consider one another life partners.

Ma: Well, the one sure cure for the blues is to talk it over with your life partner. H: You're right! - H: I cant believe it Moe. The greatest feet of my life is already forgotten. M: Geez, Homer. I never seen ya this depressed. As your life partner, Im very worried.

---

Episode: (S11E10) Little Big Mom

When Lisa calls the tavern, Moe asks if Homer is going to another bar like its a cheating situation. Look at me however you want that's how im taking this. Moe's clingy.

M: Hey uh- is Homer there? L: No, he isn't. I dont know where he is. M: Im a little worried. He usually stops in for an eye opener on the way to work. L: He told us he'd been going to the gym. M: Uhahaha- Wow. Anyway, you dont think he could be at another bar do ya? Because i couldnt take that- i- i just couldnt. *crying*

---

Episode: (S11E16) Pygmoelian

Homer tells Moe his acting is a turn on.

M: The one hole ive never been able to fix is the one in my soul. H: That was amazing Moe. Im actually a little turned on. M: Yeah, hey i gotta gift.

---

Episode: (S16E7) Mommie Beerest

The thing i dont say is that i primarily ship all three of them together especially during late seasons. Reading "Moe takes the place of marge" jokes as shippy is- a bit of a stretch? whatever, it includes Moe telling Homer "i love you" and Homer calling Moe "Honey".

H: What would Marge say? M: Do whatever you have to do to save Moe's. I love my Homie. H: Ok honey, ill do it! Ma: What's going on here? M: Nothin- Nothing.

Also Homer and Moe sharing a bed 1/2.

---

Episode: (S17E5) Marge's Son Poisoning

If i had a nickel for every time Moe and Homer were called life partners id have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot but its weird that it happened twice. (This has to be a lie, im certain there is a third time this has happened, i have yet to find it again) "They're lying, they're trying to hustle" um stfu- idc that's his life partner. he said so.

RT: God dern it son- what tha hell kinna sissy are you? M: Hey are you calling my life partner a sissy? Cause a hundred bucks says he could whoop you in arm wrestling.

---

Episode: (S18E6: Moe n' a Lisa)

Moe tells Homer he loves him.

H: Seriously Moe, I think you have a gift. M: Thanks Homer, I love you man. H: OoooOH you love a man.

---

Episode: (S20E8) The Burns and The Bees

Moe explains bees having sex to Homer and Homer thinks Moe is talking about the two of them.

H: But how are we supposed to combine the DNA of two strains of the same species? M: Actually Homer *whispering* H: *gasp* You and me? M: No. The bees. H: Oh! Yeah yeah. That's what i meant too. I... have no... inclination...

---

Episode: (S21E30 The Great Wife Hope)

Moe takes Homer dressed as Marge to his class reunion. He says he took Barney the year before.

M: Lets go Marge. My class reunion starts in an hour. H: Uh, Moe, i have a confession to make. Im just Homer dressed as Marge. M: Yeah, but last year i took Barney dressed as Marge. Think how much better they'll think you look. Hmm? H: Well you better not leave me and talk to your old friends all night. M: Keep talkin like that and ill leave ya here right now.

---

Episode: (S21E21) Moe Letter Blues

Homer kisses Moe.

H: Moe, i dont know rather to punch you or kiss you. So im gonna do both.

---

Episode: (S24E2) Treehouse of Horror XXIV

Look, i know its a demon that looks like Moe and NOT Moe. But cmon what was this???

H: Listen, pal, you seem like an honest guy. Is there any other deal you can accept? D: Three way. H: Hm- You, me, Marge? D: Demon, demon, you. H: Sigh- I guess its one of those things a dad has to do. - H: Now before we start, what's the safe word? D: Cinnamon H: Oh! I like that. Now, id like to try something new, if you dont mind. D: Cinnamon. Cinnamon! Cinnamon! Cinnamon!

---

Episode: (S25E12) Diggs

Ok- so the way Bart describes his feeling for Diggs is really queer and Homer immediately compares that to his feelings towards Moe.

B: I met this kid. Little older. Kinda strange. I dont think other people get him but i just wanna hang out with him all the time. H: *gasps* Its even better than i thought. You found your Moe Szyslak!

---

Episode: (S27E10) The Girl Code

Homer kisses Moe.

M: Hey what tha hell? Get your kisser off my head puss! H: What? Its how greek men say 'hello'. Non sexual guy kissing is the best.

---

Episode: (S28E4) Treehouse of Horror XXVII

Moe kisses a picture of Homer twice.

Thanks @leibi97 for remembering this one for me!

--- Episode: (S28E13) Fatzcarraldo

Homer calls Moe his "sweet wonderful bartender"

H: i had a great day and i really wanna celebrate with the boys so dont wait up for me my sweet wonderful bartender, Moe. M: Alright but whos the boys? H: Marge's boobs. See ya!

---

Episode: (S29E16) King Leer

Homer carrying Moe into the store. But also i like this episode over all from a Homoearge standpoint.

M: When i cross this threshold i begin a new life! *Picked up by Homer* This is the first time that ive ever been carried into a store. Look at me now lady foot locker! Look at me now.

---

Episode: (S32E15) Do Pizza Robots Dream of Electric Guitars

Ok guys THIS is what im talking about when i say in later seasons i kinda ship all three of them.

Ma: Did you see how he ate his breakfast? He doesn't shuffle his pancakes like a deck of cards. He doesn't air drum while driving, or race the dog in butt scooting across the carpet. And he always won. He's not my Homie anymore. B: We didnt notice any of that. Ma: A wife knows. M: And a bartender. Hes just- hes just not the same. He dont spin Barney around on the stool no more. He dont drink beer from a crazy straw just a sensible straw. What are we gonna do about our little man Midge? Ma: Were just gonna have to love him that much more. M: I didnt think that was possible. - B: Im used to seeing mom upset about dad, but Moe. That really shook me.

---

Episode: (S35E7) Its A Blunderful Life

They love each other :)

M: How dare you show your face in here. H: Moe, its me, and beneith all the drinking and the jokes we have a real relationship. And that means something. M: What are you gettin at? H: C'mon man. Deep down, we kinda love each other. H: *thrown through window* M: Love you too

---

Episode: (S35E15) Cremains of the Day

Moe and Homer share a bed 2/2.

M: Oh cmon Lenny, ghosts aint real. eh

Holding each other.

---

Episode: (S35E17) The Tipping Point

Dont- Even- Get- Me- Started

M: Exact change huh? Thats it? H: Aw, i really wanna tip ya Moe, but i promised my wife id quit. M: Heres a thought Homer. What if you took the moolah outta your pocket but you just stopped before anything happened? Ya know, everything but the tip. H: That dosent seem like it could lead to anything. M: Sure it couldnt. H: *slowly hands Moe ten dollars* H: We shouldnta done that. M: Does that mean- that you wanna stop? H: No *hands Moe more money* *moaning* It feels so good *hands Moe more money* M: Dont stop you generous man *handed more money* *moaning* Aw yeah give it to me big boy H: *handing Moe more money* You like that? M: Oh thats the spot H: I can do this all night M: Right there H: Tell me you want it M: Oh god- Oh god- Oh god- Oh god! H: Yes- Yes- Yes- Yes! *Wallet sprays money on Moe* C: I need a new bar. - M: *following Homer out of the bar* Where ya goin? H: I cant stop tippin Moe. Im hooked on tha rush! I gotta monkey on my back and hes got his hand out. M: But, what about us? H: No one service worker can satisfy my needs. God help me im a tip-phomaniac.

---

Jesus ok i dont know how to conclude this post. I will make updates to this. I know im missing stuff.

This is about a 3rd of my "moe is bi" list so maybe ill make that its own masterpost.

Someone asked me today what ship dynamic they are and i told them "the dumb one/the evil one/the woman". My spouse and i have been watching Futurama and they pointed out to me it was the same dynamic when i said i saw something between Fry/Bender/Leela as a trio.

[stargirlie25]

Ive come to the conclusion that Gwynriels are probably the most healthiest side of the ship war.

Its just my opinion MIND IT!

Like most elriels are sometimes anti gwyn or lucien and have a very strong ego which i wont talk much about. They can also be anti nessian (i dont mind) but also anti Nesta and most likely pro feysand.They have honestly crossed multiple boundaries with the fandom

-threats 2 sjm's family including her son-r@pe dms-shaming real people for not including something or simply saying something-

They shamed author Elena Armas for saying she leaned toward Gwynriel more so much she put it on her story

Shamed an author recently for saying sjm's outfit gave Gwyn vibes

ETC,ETC,ETC

Eluciens in terms of real life are very healthy and are honestly the smaller portion of the ship wars. However as much as it is so fun to ship elain and lucien, many eluciens hold the stance such as ''anti feysand, anti nessian, anti inner circle,anti Azriel'' There isnt anything wrong with that ofc!

Gwynriels have been involved with a bit of both. There have been real life toxic versions of them (imo not as bad as elriels) and they sometimes hate on Elain but that's pretty much it. Gwynriels are most likely eluciens so they love Gwyn,Elain,Lucien,Azriel,inner circle,valkyries,feysand,nessian and the normal. (some dont)

I feel like it we are going to continue the series, its more peaceful to just not hate the characters because honestly you might just have to find a different series because Sarah loves a lot that yall hate.

Just from my personal experience and what i have seen in like my four-ish years in this fandom. Not as long as some of you but around the time the ship wars started haha

I used to be an Elriel too because like most elriels i thought the 3sis x 3bros was perfect. Its not and im not going to talk about it here. Just saying, during those times i was disturbed by some elriels comments and how cocky and mean they could be. It was not even confidence just flat out insults,jabs and comments i hate such as ''ours is canon theirs is fanon'' ''delusional'' ''did you even read the same book'' Keep in mind the fandom was NOT the reason i switched to gwynriel/elucien so don't even try to bombarde me with all the elucien/gwynriel comments and hell yeah i know they exist.

I will forever be an elucien and love elain and lucien together and divided although some of them can be immature and they lack some understanding.

Literally all of this could apply to Gwynriel however being apart of the Gwynriel side is easiest for me!

Can any of yall agree?

Please be nice btw!

[thedvilsinthedetails]

Heyyyy…

hey im still figuring out what i wanna be called but for now u can call me Jamie if u want I’m genderfluid as fuck [they/she/he or whatever idegafatp]

some typa aroace spectrum probs grayace & demiromantic also omniromantic - in general I have nothing figured out

so a simp w like a slight preference for men ig but kinda ace most of the time but sometimes very not

neurospicy bitch

writing request status: OPEN FOR MICROFICS RN

I’m a rosekiller loverrr but also a multi shipper so u never know what ur gonna see ig [but probably Rosekiller, Wolfstar, Dorlene, Starchaser maybe some sunkiller if I’m in the mood etc] for the record just bc I don’t ship smth doesn’t mean I support hating it even as a joke [translation: prongsfoot is chill leave them be]

if u don’t like smth, just ignore it, if u send me hate I’ll reply w shitty jokes probs

my dream job is to be an actor [screen actor specifically]

Media I like:

Fav TV stuff: Challengers, Gravity Falls, Cruella, 10 things I hate about you, into the spiderverse

Fav author is @neil-gaiman also that man is my idol so I’ll probs reblog him a shit ton [do u think he’ll like…mind that I tagged him? Sorry if this bothered u Neil!!!] Music [uhhh changes all the time tbh but for rn]: The Neighbourhood, Olivia Rodrigo, Conan Gray [Kid Krow phase rn], Chappell Roan, Renée Rapp, Green day, Ricky Montgomery, NOAHFINNCE, MARINA and Hozier

Spider-Man. Fucking love Spider-Man.

One thing to note about me tho: obvi I love recommendations but I find starting literally any new forms of media really fucking daunting for no reason [this is everything: songs, movies, books etc]

e.g. I fucking love spider verse but I still haven’t watched movie 2, same w latest season of young royals, same with even like ONE song alone I find it rlly hard and really scary

so if u give me recommendations and I don’t get back to u about them for ages it’s not bc I forgot or i was ignoring u but bc I find it scary so pls be patient :)

also same w please don’t like assume I’m knowledgeable about like any of the music artists I named earlier bc tbh I don’t rlly listen to artists I listen to songs [im still a fan of a lot of music artists ofc but the artists I listen to ≠ the artists I’m a fan of]

HI! welcome to my crazy blog, I love making friends im not at all scary I promise :D

Btw my inbox is ALWAYS open for spam, ship ramblings [even if it’s not smth I ship], info dropping about ur hyperfixations, venting, questions etc. [the only thing is no illegal ships bc it will be ignored] also sorry pre warning im shit with the inbox chains [‘send this to ten people who…’] so often I won’t answer those sorry, anything else I will make sure to answer but the chains I sometimes just forget about sorryyy

Barty Crouch Jr & James Potter kinnie

got a FAT crush on Evan Rosier [he’s the loml he just doesn’t know it yet] and also a crush on Dorcas Meadowes

I write sometimes:

I fell for you like glitter on stage - rosekiller band au, this was a microfic series on tumblr that I posted on ao3 for convenience [words: 4548] [this is my fav thing I’ve ever written lol]

we are all just prisoners here of our own device - Jegulus, a oneshot on ao3 based on the song ‘hotel California’ by the eagles. [Words: 6162]

Oh where do we begin? The rubble or our sins? - ON HIATUS. Roman Empire Jegulus au with side Rosekiller, Wolfstar and Pandalily on ao3 [words: 6141] [currently I don’t want to write Jegulus - the hyperfixation hath faded]

also I’m in a marauders RP as Barty and u shld follow it bc we’re all super cool and funny and amazing and awesome and yeah @bartythebabygorljr

tags you’ll see on my page:

me and my old black biro > writing tag

Im in love with that Rosier boy > [this is a new one] me having a massive crush on Evan Rosier

the most boring soap opera > my life tag

I have an online diary called @miseryoforpheus if ur fascinated by my charming and irresistible personality

[The song at the bottom of my intro post changes all the time depending on how I’m feeling]

THIS BLOG SUPPORTS PALESTINE

THIS BLOG STANDS WITH UKRAINE

THIS BLOG THINKS JK ROWLING HAS A NEGATIVE QUANTITY OF BRAINCELLS

[an-actual-attack-helicopter]

Book 6, Episode 3: The Frozen Ship Analysis/Commentary

Pretty atmospheric scene. And is that...whale sounds...? Yup, there a whale sounds all throughout this scene in the background. Fits pretty well, actually.

The Shadowpaw only breaks the ice after Callum takes Sneezles.

"Sup, i came here so that when i faint it will be your responsibili..." thud

"'Rayllum.' Seems like a nice name for a ship."

"I mean look at it. This ship is going nowhere!" Just wait a few episodes broski. By the end, Rayllum shippers are the only ones not sobbing like they lost their unicorn daughter.

Okay okay I'll stop with the jokes about this scene. We all get the gist.

Where the hell he get the sponge lol? If he got a wild one we would have to like sterilize it and stuff. And he wouldn't wanna harm it. Maybe they just brought it though.

Then we got Rayla crying over a romance novel. Seriously though, I think she relates to Skall. Like, after the two years she was gone, she felt that it was for nothing and she really just needed to be with Callum. And then...

Condrad, if you were here-

*KICKS DOOR* RAYLA RAYLA IM HERE- OWWW *PUSHES DOOR BACK OPEN* IM HEREEEE

Yet another example of how the animators and stuff played with lighting more this season. I can't stop talking about this. They've really improved.

"K I L L M E ."

viren in episode 8 be like--

Okay, there is no way Damian's respiratory disease wasn't related to Soren's. Maybe it was a virus spreading throughout Katolis. Buuut he said he had been living with it his whole life, and if Soren caught it you would think Callum would too. Maybe he did and he just recovered? Or maybe certain people are more susceptible to it. OOOOOR it's genetic and Soren and Callum are actually distant cousins. Okay, okay, I'll stop.

Anyway, I find it so funny how loudly Callum is shivering. Bro is trying to guilting her into sharing the blankie without having to ask lmfao. It literally comes off like that though--

Also, the scene where they almost kiss but Callum stops because he has to reveal something totally reminds me of a certain Claudium scene from season 2. Okay, enough Rayllum fluff, time for the pain. And the addiction allegories. Hear me out.

"I did cocaine again."

I mean, look at this. She even uses the word "quit." DARK MAGIC = DRUGS BASICALLY. Is it just me??? WHY ARENT PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THIS??? IT'S SO GOOOOOOD. The animation too btw, like DAYUM.

Imagine the pearl breaks and aaravos gets out and is like "bro why are my toes on fire" shbfhdghjjkhh

This combined with Rayla's theme playing in the background...am i a Rayllum shipper now?

Finally, we're back to Viren and his deluded selfishness. He claims not to plead for mercy, and yet, he rambles on about how he is better than he was before. Cool shot though.

That's about it for this one. More packed than episode 2, though.

[valenteal]

Ok I finally got it. Natsume had the book, either he created it or it was given to him or he found it, then he gave it to Oda (the third installment of the series that’s so rare because it’s literally the book) then Oda gives up the book when the kids die by telling Dazai about it (or at least giving him enough information to figure it out there by making Dazai the new owner). But Oda had written in the book, created an opportunity for Dazai to have a better life and do good. But he left it at his own death so Dazai would still be making the choice himself. Dazai finds the book among Oda’s belongings and tries to bring Oda back and give him happiness and then BEAST happens. He creates a world in which Oda is happy, uses Akutagawa as the protagonist and creates Atsushi using the Book to be the antagonist/shapeshifter, bases his ability on Natsume’s and lets the story unfold. But because of a singularity caused by his ability interacting with the Book instead of changing his own realities past he creates an alternate reality that only he is aware of. In that alternate reality he cannot die until the story is completed and he passes the Book on to the next Author/Authors. So he passes it to Akutagawa and Atsushi and kills himself knowing there is a reality in which Oda is happy. Back in the main universe Dazai struggles to continue the story/find a successor, because he can’t die unless he doesn’t own the book but he can only alter the future, not the past or present. So he writes a story about 6 organizations vying for the book beginning 2 years in the future, it takes him 2 years to write. He uses Atsushi as the protagonist this time and sets him up to inherit the book with a heroes journey to prepare him and Dazai as his mentor to guide him.

Dazai will die at the end, no doubt about it. The entire story is written by Dazai, which is why he always knows what’s going to happen. He gave the single page to the special operations division to set up the decay of angels arc. He and Fyodor are so similar because Dazai wrote him. Well, he wrote his actions and how it played out, but the DoA existed before he got the book.

I think maybe his suicide attempts, at least serious ones, stopped while he was in the Mafia. He was searching for meaning in life and he caught a glimpse of it in the Mafia. He wasn’t invincible while he was there, he was just not trying to die. But after Oda died his suicidal tendencies came back in full force, but Oda had made him unable to die without writing a story with narrative consistency so he couldn’t just say “then Dazai Osamu died painlessly in his sleep.”

Btw if anyone else came up with the same thing I swear I didn’t steal it. I didn’t look at any theories currently in circulation. Mostly because I’ve been focusing on canon but also because so many people just don’t understand the fundamentals of the story or characters so I knew if I did I would be sifting through endless painful misinterpretations. (Yes I’m a bit of a bitch and a lit snob im not gonna deny it. But I took an advanced accelerated college lit class at 17 so I would say my confidence is warranted)

[alfiely-art]

FINISHED ACT 2!!!! I promise I'm taking my time

Act 1 live reaction here

Here are notes I took while reading!!!

Hi vagabond fella… you're cute

Huh. So the world ended. Okay

Happy birthday john, you fucked up!!!! My god!!!!

Oh interesting… wonder if the kernel will come back later

I like this sprite lmaoooo silly guy

“It's a long way down” Hey. Hey wait a sec. Isn't that deltarune

HEY THE BUNNY WHERE DID IT GO

Bro Rose probably thinks you're dead lmfaooooo

House trapped. LIKE THE TITLE HOMESTUCK DO U GET IT

Am I supposed to ignore the Stop Scurrying button btw. He will scurry to my hearts content

HEY WHERES DAD.

“Would you like to play a game?” C…caliborn….? :3

We scurried until we couldn't scurry anymore

Aw he's scared :( WALK ACROSS IT ur fine…

A voice?? Is it the blue text. The sprite

OMG ITS THE VAGABOND!!!!

Sorry rose I'm not reading allat

So wait. Did the game cause the meteors or is it just saving people from them. Why was there no warning

Betty crocker is born /j

Nvm sprite said No <3

NOT NANNAS ASHESSSSS LMAOOOO

“Hoo-hoo-hoo” HEY I SAW CALIBORN GIGGLE LIKE THAT IN A FIC. I know the Striders have more to do with Caliborn but let me reach

OH its the sprite

Dave. Honey. Nows not the time for your rap

Which admittedly has fun rhymes

AW FLUCK IT

Dave what are you yapping about

THE FUCKIHG CAR OH MY GOD

DAVE OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU STILL GOING

Fluthlu… I love you

I'm not even gonna try to spell that but I like the other squid octopus creature as well

Oglogoth… goth !!!!

Hey wait. The horror terrors are part of sburb. Is the game influenced by their lives and interests. Like. Deltarune

OH PSYCHE!!! hi Dave

Sword!!!!!!

Wow your room is really mHEY I KNOW THOSE GUYS. THATS THE FELT GUYS. SQUAREWAVE AND RHE OTHER ROBOT. I KNOW THOSE ONES!!!!! OHHHHHH

Bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable

Oh Dave. Oh Dave

Hey wait is this earlier in the day.

Okay this is definitely earlier in the day

Aw. He doesn't wanna make satire of the sburb review

FUCK IM FALLING DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS……

Is that. John's hand???? what the fuck is happening in midnight crew

Flagrant Homosexuality

YOU CANT BE SAYING THAT WHITE BABY (I was told that they use slurs, slur count 2!!!!)

Her life depends on you playing that game Dave

Ewwww what's the shit under the door

It's okay Dave piss probably isn't that bad. It's also probably Apple juice You're fine

HE GOT PISS/JUICE ON HIS TURNTABLES NOOOOOO

. They're gonna fly out the window

OH MY GOD BIRD NO

Wait. Davesprite is a bird with a sword in him. Omg is that bird the beginning of Davesprite omg!!!!

Wizard

Rose and her mom are fucking weird

MOM!!!!!

Hardcore parkour

Jade be telling the future…. Why can she do that

LIL CAL MENTION

NARRATOR YOU CANT BE SAYING THAT (slur count: 3)

Ironic Indulgence

Btw. Are you able to. Win the strifes. I'm so confused

“Fine, you'll interrupt your reading and turn around, but you don't see what could possibly be so oh my god it's a monster.” Hi this is absolute gold this is how I type

John died :(

Yay he's alive!!!

YOOOOO SICKKKK AFFFFF MOVE

John is such a nerd I love him

JASPERS NOOO

Hi Nanna harlequin sprite

Dave is very suddenly creeped out by the puppets, okay. Don't diss Lil cal bro

Baked good hater for Life!!! Also I am just like John I have absolutely no idea what Nannasprite was talking about. We r along for the ride

HUMAN ETIQUETTE WOOOO I NEED THAY BOOK

Jade why do you know all this stuff

Haha Dave's an emoji

IS THAT A DRIPPED OUT SLAPPY

HI CAL HI BABYGIRL !!!! I like Cal he's the man

Sweet Bro n Hella Jeff is. I

Cals eyes are so shiny

HAHAHAHAH JOHN MADE A SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF REFERENCE. I can't

U and me both Rose. We Are giggling

John died again

What the fuck is happening at Dave's house

ROSE RAP ROSE RAP

WHSJSHSJSH THE LITTLE IMP????

What the fuck is happening

I WANT TO PLAY A GAME is this a caliborn reference. Anyway uhhh Bro is kinda weird what's going on with him

Why does he have a camera in the saw guy figurine. Bro. What's uh up with you

BRO REALLY IS A NINJA…. Whys he jusy moving Cal around

Dave. I know you said your Bro is awesome but I think he's just really weird. He's silly

I do think it's interesting. John doesn't like his dad even though his dad is great (worst thing is he ignores that his kid doesn't like betty crocker goods). Rose hates her mom, but.. for like, the wrong reasons?? Like yeah her mom’s an alcoholic and seems neglectful but she doesn't seem to do the Irony shit Rose says she does. And then Dave seems to think Bro is the absolute best even though. This is not a great situation. I wonder what Jade's family is like

Also John and Rose avoid their parents but Dave's Bro seems to avoid Dave. interesting

Anyway POOR DAVE HE GOT SMOOSHED

Hey that letter is the same as the one in the trans dirk comic I saw :0

NOOO I WANTED TO SEE BRO

Yoooo John that's a cool weapon actually

That's a big boy right there what a big boy

ROSE THE FIRE ITS AT UR WINDOW

YO WAS THAT SILHOUETTE JADE?!?!?! JADE YAAA

Big boy!!!!!!

HEY I WAS INVESTED IN SEEING JOHN FIGHT. Oh at least we can see Bro. Wait how's Rose

??? JADE???

OOP NOPE. VAGABOND

What the fuck is happening I

vagabond is so silly I like him

Hey guys I think a king hurt vagabond. Just a guess. Probably reaching idk /j

VAGABOND PISS SCENE ?!?!?! YIPPEE!!!

Oh nvm. Btw can we get this guy a burger

HES SO HAPPY OVER THE. idk what that is DANGANRONPA BLOOD IN A CAN!!!!!!

HEY WHAT THE FUCK ARE ON THESE SCREENS BTW. Wait I'm shouting so much. But what the fuck. Dave has his sprite??? Yay???? I thought he was gonna fight Bro??? What happened to Lil Cal???

Hey isn't that Jade's symbol on the pumpkin

Yooo that's such a cool cutscene actuHUH HOW IS IT THE END OF THE ACT AGAIN

The frick….

Anyway. Thoughts: I like Vagabond. Jade is mysterious. Dave gay. Bro creepy. Someone pls save Rose. John you gotta put your big boy pants on and fight those ogres. Good act!!! idk why people say the pre-trolls stuff is boring I'm enjoying myself

[bl00dy-plan3t]

intro post 😁😁

go here to read my rant part 1 here for part 2 and here for part 3

dm and askbox open for ppl. anons are welcome.

maybe i wont reply mayeb i will. depends on my energy.

pls be friens with i have like no friends.

tagging my non-existent moots

@discoveredreality BRO OMG OMG IM FINALY MAKING AN INTRO POST. sweetest most caring little shit. where the actually fuck would i be without you. like yes i know you dont do anything and somethimes dont even know that you need to do stuff but OMG WHAT LIKE YOU KEEP PUSHING ME TO DO SHIT TO MAKE MOVES AND LIVE MY LIFE PLS PLS DONT EVER LEAVE ME POOKIE <33333333

@lilcri84b1 AHHHHHHH. what would i be doing without you. i dont even know where to start. like litereally the most gorgeous girl out there. HOW DO I EXPLAIN YOUR BEAUTY TO THE REST OF THE WORLD. 10+ years of friendship so were basically already living under the same roof. I AM SO SO SO GRATEFULL TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE. btw guys this is my partner, who, i...... uhhhh talk, a.... uhhh little to much about.

@pumpkin-gizzards hello. thank you for being my class mate and in the same house as me too. besties ig. lmao

@short-exeggutor lol hi just ask ari if u want to know who i am but u do know who i am. u point at me and say gay whenever u see me in the hallways so that should be enough info for u. sorry if i say mean things to u but like if u keep reading u will see why.

about me:

im mars. they/them. agender. butch lesbian. grey aro and grey ace. idk whatver u can call me whatver but im probs not gonna respond to that lol. anyways. minor. im russian but live in australia. non religious. artsy (????) love to crochet. also the max volume in my headphones isnt enough i need the song up my baby spawner. does things last minute. pinterest is here. AHHHHHH WTF DM IF U WANT I NEED FRIENDS. also i probs wont answer all the time unless im at school so like dont get mad and shit. i also play the drums.

fave drink:

monster energy pipeline punch pink thing. (and also the gold one)

personality shit:

my mbti is isfp. star sign is taurus. favourite animal is snek . AHH GUYS EVERYONE UPDATE. I KISSED HER. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyways. if u ever ecounter me being mean to you then 86.39% of the time im only playing with you. idrk my love language but i guess i make fun of you and also PHYSICAL TOUCH. not that if i dont do/show those around u i dont like u i just have no idea how to describe my love language. PLS TAG GAMES I LUV TAG GAMES YAYAYYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYA

time zone:

Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST) 'Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST)

music taste:

MELANIE MARTINEZ ❤❤❤❤❤❤. tv girl. girl in red. 6arelyhuman. odetari. kets4eki. lumi athena. creepp. proz. elita. jazmin bean. marina. the smiths. dandelion hands. mitski. sign crushes motorist. shakira. jack stauber. asteria. dandelion hands. nirvana. acdc. radiohead. guns and roses. the beatles. naik borzov. the cranberries. queen. weezer. the cure.

ok pls dont hate me for this one. I ABSOLUTELY HATE READING BOOKS. I CANT READ. I LITERALLY READ LIKE A SNAIL. so i dont have a book taste. wait nvm ive read valentine by jodi mcalister AND LOVED IT. thats basically it.

i play minecraft and roblox (but mainly evade and dti) (no i dont)

no fandoms bcs i dont read books. But. i watch old disney movies so idk if thats valid. hwlp rip what is this.

KASIUEWOIAJDASKD MY PARTNER ACTUALLY READS THIS WHEN I UPDATE IT THATS SO SWEET WTF <3333333333333333333

congrats u made it to the end. u can now continue with ur day. good bye.

*if i didn't tag u then dm me and i will.*

the pics are from here and here and here and here and here