#im not trying to start discourse and this isn’t actually that much of a big deal

[mx-mehri]

when i first entered the alterhuman community i saw so much shit talking abt how “we identify as animals but we know that we’re biologically human!! don’t worry!!” and now it annoys the fuck out of me. first of all you sound too much like you’re trying to appeal to the majority which sounds like such a painful way to go about things. and also like. idk. imagine if i went “i’m a trans boy but don’t worry i know that i’m biologically female” like yeah, but what’s the point???

[pommunist]

kind of feeling like the rest of the fandom just wants french fans to shut up and leave already :|... why should we be trusting quackity when he hasnt even given any more updates on anything. ("ill keep you updated everyone" -quackity (lying) on his stream addressing issues). "trust that theyre working on it!!!" is starting to feel more and more like people are actually meaning "omg stop complaining so much!!! youre ruining my enjoyment".

of course the new announcements feel like damage control why would we expect anything else? they refuse to talk about anything and start to dangle shiny new things in front of the rest of the fandom so they get distracted from french complaints. why should we trust that anything is happening when the syndicat says that the fired admins havent even been contacted by anyone after more than a week?

im so done at this point :|. i cant even lurk on twitter anymore because all the french accounts i looked at either went inactive, private, or deactivated entirely because of how many death threats they were getting for daring to expect more of quackity.

i dont necessarily think Q was lying or is trying to sweep the situation under the rug but yeah ! people can and SHOULD be wanting more communication and transparency

the « stop complaining and trust bc you’re just spreading negativity » mindset that im sometimes seeing is driving me INSANE like ?? this isn’t discourse or drama it’s a workers rights violation 😳 personally what is ruining my enjoyment of the server is knowing that the characters and story ive loved for months was built on the exploitation of people who also loved the project. that and the fact that it seems like the community im a part of was a second thought the whole time 😳

and this isn’t only a french issue like yes most of the ex admins who spoke up were french but the issues impact every community !

I know that since this is a BIG issue it’s gonna take time to solve and i can even understand keeping the server running but introducing so many new people + an awards event right now is so idk….

I also feel bad for the korean and german creators who are coming in at such a bad timing

and yes broke my heart seeing the admins who spoke up as well as big twitter accounts from qsmptwt having to stop expressing themselves/receive crazy amounts of hate/deactivate bc they’re so done with the situation and receiving so few support

[soyeah-anyways]

alright i want to talk about the huntlow discourse going on cause the hate is getting on my nerves and i think its time somebody really dove deep into why people are so goddamn pissed over this.

   so the huntlow ship started around early-mid of 2021 if im correct. and i think most people(including me) didn’t really care for the ship nor thought it made sense or was like a good ship if im being honest?(sorry to all of the early huntlow shippers lol). the ship was more of a “it probably wont ever happen but its just neat to think about.” i think the rarepair ships with hunter that were REALLY popular was probably goldric. i personally think that the only reason that ship was more popular was because of the fact that huntlow is a hetero ship(unless.. t4t?) and goldirc is just like,, white and conventionally attractive(also, edric is more loved by our fandom than willow, lets be honest, our plant baby is overlooked.) so even when the huntlow ship was first introduced it wasn’t recieved well by the fandom just cause its hetero and with a character that not many people really like too much. therefore, there was already a bias against it, so when any sport in a storm came out, it pissed people off, and now people are trying to justify hating on a ship for stupid reasons. what reasons? well,

    the age gap: so a lot of people are saying that the ship is problematic because of the age gap, i think that is completely ridiculous cause 1, the age gap isnt big? they’re both in high school and its only a 2 year difference, maybe if it was a 16 and 18 year old, i would be a tiny bit concerned?(even then, its so minor that i would still probably defend it lol), but thats not even the case, its literally a 14 and a 16 year old. 

people are trying to argue by saying “oh but looking at it from a psychological/emotional aspect, its too large of a gap!” ok? by that logic, it would actually go the other way around. with willow being more mature emotionally than hunter. if you think about it, hunter has been sheltered, abused, and manipulated his whole entire life and doesn’t know what its like to live the life of a normal teen, that must have stunted his emotional growth to some degree. whilst willow was able to live a pretty normal life, with a loving family, the worst thing she’s ever gone through was some bullying and a loss of a best friend. which even though that can be traumatizing, she still had the opportunity to heal and grow as a person. while hunter still has a ways to go. if anything, willow is the one who has the advantage over him. at the end of the day, the entire argument just doesn’t make sense. just let kids be kids please. 

    trauma and relationships: so another reason why people dislike this ship is because hunter isn’t emotionally stable enough to handle a relationship atm, and what he would really need instead is a friend(where was this convo when people were shipping goldric?? hmm??) now the thing with this argument is that i actually agree, in fact i believe that nobody should get into a relationship they aren’t mentally stable for, especially if they are teens, and to see that be depicted in a tv show would be a wonderful way to show how to actually have a healthy relationship. the only thing is, toh already broke that “rule” with lumity. think about it, amity was emotionally manipulated and controlled by her parents to the point where she suffered severely from it, but the show still decided that amity needed luz to heal instead of having her heal on her own. i personally believe that you shouldn’t need another person to heal, but a LOT of shows do this because the media depicts romance in a glamourized way(this is another convo i would like to have). 

so to me? seeing huntlow do the same thing doesn’t bother me, even though yeah, it can be problematic. yknow what the thing is though? this is a cartoon, a fictional tv show, with fictional characters, and even fictional problems. not everything in a show has to have some form of in depth philosophical analysis/ideas on society. while yes, it CAN be nice to see that, its unrealistic to have that sort of expectation on a children’s tv show. i could complain about the glamorization of romance all i want but at the end of the day, it doesnt change the fact that its nice to just want to see lovable characters get into shenanigans and be happy, and there for each other. as long as the two character involved aren’t being toxic or abusive towards each other, do the technicalities of the relationship between them really matter? that’s why when i hear people say “but hunter is traumatized!” i kind of just roll my eyes because they’ve already done the same thing with lumity, but it doesn’t change the fact that the ship is still CUTE and LOVABLE and SWEET. that’s it! the characters have a nice dynamic and if anything, they could just help each other heal from whatever trauma they have. its not that deep! just let people like what they like! huntlow is NOT problematic in any universe! 

    they are just hetero(t4t headcanon tho...): yeah, thats right, im calling you guys out. you’re just mad that a hetero ship is in your owl show. bro, literally, i swear some of you guys are so toxic. like not even kidding, im embarrassed to be a part of the lgbtqia+ community at this point! it kills me inside whenever i see toxic people acting like hetero ships are the end of the world. the worst part is, these are the exact same people to claim they have an open and respectful mind! No you don’t! People need to stop projecting their anxieties when it comes to their sexuality and gender identity onto fictional characters, and then get mad when said characters don’t meet their expectations on what “good” representation is! people already threw a hissy fit over lunter,  i don’t want the same thing to happen with huntlow!

at the end of the day, just learn to be respectful. please, some of you guys need a break from social media, you guys need to get outside and interact with people. its not fair that innocent people have to deal with your bullcrap for no reason. this is a kids show, nothing in that show is real, none of the characters are real. huntlow is just an innocent, cute little ship. why y’all gotta make it seem like it’s the end of the world. sorry for the long post, i just had to get this out because it’s literally KILLING ME INSIDE. anyways, ima go read some huntlow fanfiction. peace! 

(btw, it’s totally cool if you don’t ship huntlow, or you just see them as platonic! everybody has a right to their opinion, im just calling out the problematic people who don’t seem to get that through their thick skulls. i didn’t really ship huntlow at first watch of the episode either, so i get where people are coming from when they say that they just don’t think it’s that enjoyable. if you see hunter as gay or aro/ace, or you ship willow with boscha, that’s neat! you do you! just don’t get pissed off if dana likes huntlow posts, or the storyboard artists of toh make huntlow fanart. or heck, just seeing people like the ship in general.)

[grimespostarchive]

the grimespostarchive mission statement

“mission statement” lol it sounds so serious but i wanted to talk briefly abt why i made this blog and the goals with it now that it’s not just me posting into the void

seems obvious, but im a big fan of grimes and her music. even with the controversy/”dIsCoUrSe” that surrounds her i find her to be a fascinating cultural figure. i’m also interested in lost media - how media can get lost, how it gets found, etc. etc. and if you know grimes you know she has a very fickle social media presence (no stranger to tweeting then quickly deleting, probably so her words don’t get taken out of context). 

if you’re unaware, grimes purged most of her tumblr once in 2013 and again in 2018 for a few reasons - the main one being that she was tired of her random personal posts being taken and turned into headlines by music publications like pitchfork and such. understandable for her, but kinda the burning of the library of alexandria for fans because grimes’ tumblr is almost historical looking at the incremental rise to popularity she had. it was also very humanizing, to see this successful musician was just another nerd on tumblr posting about game of thrones and reblogging anime gifs. i see why it became such a liability when she got more mainstream.

so now some of her old posts are still accessible on her blog (@actuallygrimes) but it’s been reduced a signifcant amount, any post pre-2013 is *poof* gone. the things that stayed were: promo for her music, fanart she reblogged/reposted (w/ credit), sharing music/videos she enjoyed, and random reblogs of art and other stuff. it’s fun to look through but it’s much different from how it used to be. (as far as i know. i became a fan around 2019, i’m in no way an og lol).

but, when you delete something on tumblr it doesn’t exactly get wiped clean or become unrecoverable. with how tumblr works with reblogs, a deleted post that’s unavailable on op’s page can still be accessed on the active page of someone who reblogged it. (i panicked one time because i accidentally deleted a pretty popular post on my personal blog, but that post is still floating around in the ether getting likes and reblogs, i just don’t get notifications about it.) 

i got inspired to make this blog after seeing that the blog @/worldheritageposts has some of grimes old deleted posts logged on their page, the actual post and not just a screenshot. i thought it would be fun to try and find these old deleted posts in the wild and compile them into one place - cuz there’s loads of screenshots of her deleted posts, but there isn’t really one place to find all of it. i have massive respect for orgs like Internet Archive and others who try to preserve internet content (preservation is sooo important esp in the internet age) so i wanted to do something like that on a smaller scale. 

idk how popular this page is going to get (i just made it for myself, anyone who finds it and enjoys it is more than welcome to stay) but know that i probably will post some of her more controversial/unflattering deleted tweets relating to e*** m*** for preservation. with that, i DO NOT!!!! DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT want any discourse or fighting on this page. i want this blog to be an archive of grimes’ lost internet posts, nothing more than that. anyone who tries to hate on grimes or start fights gets blocked, please don’t bring that here. actually if there’s anything important to takeaway from this post it’s this.

most of all, i just want this to be fun! if you like grimes or lost media or both i hope you enjoy your stay. i’m still trying to figure out how sideblogs work actually (i’ve only had one personal blog since like 2015) but i want to follow some ppl back. also if you see me fuck up and accidentally post something to this blog that i meant to post to my personal, no u didn’t. have a good day yall stay grimey

[carinyms]

I've scrolled through a lot of discourse on episode 4 of Loki and I need to talk about it

(good lord its a whole essay im sorry)

I gave myself a headache from crying while watching this. (I joined the Loki fandom post-IW so I’ve never had to see him die before while emotionally invested and boy!!! Is it doing things to my fragile psyche!!). But now I’m rehydrated and more stable and ready to party so let’s go

Right off the bat, I loved this episode — loved it loved it loved it. Silly, manic in-shock Loki is gone and shit is getting real. My thought while watching this was truly “wow this is my favorite episode so far” and damn am I in a minority with this opinion lol.

So here’s my perspective on some of the discourse flying around, and just general thoughts

On the whole ‘Narcissist’ thing:

IMO, Mobius saying this means nothing: he’s mad and he’s spouted lies at Loki to push his buttons before (see: every interaction they’ve had since episode 1).

Loki saying this to Sif-- well, Loki is and always has been an unreliable narrator on himself. The major theme of this show is that he doesn’t really know who he is, deep down, and he’s trying to figure it out. The TVA is taking advantage of this, and even though he’s trying to stay above it all throughout the series, he's still in a really impressionable spot and absorbing what others tell him about himself. (not to mention this scene is literal torture and he’s already proven that he’ll say whatever he needs to to get out of it.)

But he does admit one true thing when he says “It’s because I’m scared of being alone.” (And like wow okay same don’t mind my tears) but here’s a big brain idea!

Sif pulls him up and says ‘You are alone, and you always will be’, which is like, WOW that’s cruel after what he said, but it makes me ask wonder: Sif is sentient in this scene, but obviously it’s not really her. Who’s controlling her? And why is it so important for them to make sure Loki thinks he’s alone? I’d go as far as to wager that Sif never even said this to Loki, the big bad made this up. (he admits he forgot about this ever happening, I doubt he’d remember what she said.)

I think the nexus event on Lamentis that caused the branch was two Loki’s joining sides. Or, Loki no longer being alone. Loki insists while talking to Mobius that “she’s not my partner!” but she was, and they were partners from the moment they grabbed hands on Lamentis — right when the timeline broke off. I think Loki variants teaming up is the biggest threat to whoever is pulling the strings here — that’s why the post-credit scene is so significant. (Is Loki the only person who has multiple variants of himself who've escaped the TVA?)

And here’s where I’m gonna get salty--so I apologize but i need to rant about this-- but it’s seriously pissing me off that so many people are intentionally reading this as Loki/Sylvie and then being mad about it when that’s clearly not what’s happening and why is everyone acting like Mobius with one angry jealous brain cell and no critical thinking about the context of the characters.

If people ship it that’s chill, but for the people who are against it—it’s clearly supposed to be platonic, and it’s so upsetting that in the year of our lord 2021 we still can’t have a man and woman hold hands without people saying it’s proof they want to f*ck each other, like what in the misogyny??? STOP. This show was written by a bi woman and Tom the-most-emotionally-sensitive-man-on-this-planet Hiddleston — let them display an intimate loving friendship goddammit. This isn’t romance, this is Loki learning how to admit he cares for someone who cares for him in return — something he hasn’t experienced a whole lot of and clearly doesn’t know how to navigate.

(You have permission to personally come at me if it actually turns out to be romantic by the end of the show—but as of right now I will die on this hill.)

Him putting his hands on her shoulders to me was a clear indication he wanted to hug her, and I’d like to think he would have told her he cares about her, and that they can figure it out together. Because these are two characters who’ve never had anyone else to rely on and trust, and for the first time they’re not alone.

And I have to think about what prompted this from Loki. He just lost Mobius the moment after he called him friend. The way I see it, he’s just realized the true gravity of what they’re up against, and Loki is suddenly very afraid of losing Sylvie too before he tells her cares about her, of dying truly alone because he never told anyone what they meant to him. (Don’t think about this in the context of him also having watched his entire family die knowing he never told Frigga or Thor how much he loved them either don’t think about it—) He’s realized, finally, that he has doesn’t have to be alone, that he can choose to be close to people and have friends. And god it’s so heartbreaking that he never got to hug her or have that moment with her. I really hope they get that in the end. I hope he gets it with Mobius. I hope they have a group hug. I'm upset again.

Okay, deep breath, ANYWAY.

Hopefully this didn’t come off as attacking anyone else’s opinions.

Personally, I love this character so much, I’m just so happy to be seeing him in his own storyline that they can’t go wrong here. Objectively I think the production is amazing, and personally I love they way Loki’s character has been explored so far. (Yea yea, was I HOPING that the bad-memory loop would morph into Sanctuary and Thanos and like a full exploration of his true worst memories? Yes but let’s be honest my whump needs will never be met in canon and I have to accept that lol.)

Honestly I left all my own meta about this character at the door when the series started, because for me the opinions I’ve formed from the hundreds of (amazing) fics and meta I’ve read on this character and what’s true in canon are basically inseparable at this point, and no portrayal is going to live up to the way Loki exists in my head. Canon Loki and fic Loki are two different characters and I can enjoy both at the same time :) I’ve just loved seeing the character get given the different dimensions he deserves, and written by people who care about his story.

Also, it’s not over! If he was dead and this was it I’d be very upset, but this is the rock bottom of the storyline, and I think the whole next two episodes will be the build back up. I trust it’s gonna be worth it. SO hyped for flaming sword Loki. I would die for Sylvie, but I’m excited to see him on his own again.

My current most pressing questions are:

-what was the fallout of Sylvie’s bombing the timeline? (Have we seen that yet, am I just dumb and missing something?)

-Obviously, who’s behind it all? (Kang? Is there a head honcho Very Evil Loki at the top?)

-How much does Ravonna actually know, and to what extent is she just a pawn too? She asked Sylvie to prune her— she’s probably also been duped here.

-Is everything we learned about the sacred timeline BS? How much of what the TVA workers believe is real?

-my favorite theory so far is that the war of the timelines miss minutes talks about hasn’t actually happened yet, maybe making setting that into motion is the true endgame, leading into Multiverse of Madness?

(Side note: holy HELL im so excited for this soundtrack to drop on Spotify. It’s SO AMAZING I had CHILLS in the end credits.)

Open invitation to discuss anything with me if you feel inclined! :)

[macgyvertape]

Castlevania kinda had a pacing problem

spoilers for all of Netflix’s Castlevania. I haven’t seen much analysis for the show on tumblr, im honestly curious if discussions I had with irl friends mirror what fandom talks about

tldr: Castlevania seems inconsistently paced from season to season, and within season as well, leads to a lot of characters motivations feeling unclear so characters repeatedly explain why they are doing something while they’re doing it

overview of the seasons:

S1 I know somewhat of a test for Netflix but it has good main trio character establishment and sets the scale of the conflict

s2: pretty complete emotional arc for most characters and resolves the plot of killing Dracula while setting up additional characters to continue the story. Isaac, Hector, Carmilla all established with the audience as characters whose story would continue

honestly I would bet this is the most popular season

S3: s2 did a bit of worldbuilding, but this season really fleshed out the world with both a wide range of locations and exploring the question of “what now, Dracula is dead but vampires and night creatures remain”.

There were basically 4 plot threads: 1) Sypha/Trevor investigating the cult & Saint Germain; 2) Hector & Carmilla (also introducing Lenore, Striga, Morana); 3) Isaac’s journey of revenge & self discovery; 4) Alucard sits around the castle and is betrayed.

overall characters roughly feel like they are in the same place if not worse. A big criticism I saw at the time, which hold up after rewatching this before s4 is nothing felt resolved for the main characters

I would say this season is where the pacing issues start to become apparent, juggling 4 plot threads that lack a central theme or even mutual character connection. If there was a central theme it would be “humans are awful to each other”. The Judge doing Hot Fuzz style murders, The Wizard in the tower, Sumi & Taka

S4: it starts with the same 4 plot threads, though upfront it is made clear that the plot theme is “people are trying to resurrect Dracula”, and the progression of the plot works to resolve unrelated plot threads until the main trio reunites for the boss fights. To me and my friends watching it was obvious that the show would reunite the main trio, the question was how and how far into the run time.

Season 4 is why I’m writing this essay, for the past 2 days I’ve been like, yeah that character sure explained their motives repeatedly maybe with some philosophical discussion, but it’s just such a weird place considering where they were in s3

Alucard’s arc:

Where he was left in season 3, it was after killing people he had trusted in self defense and impaling their corpses. It was clearly meant to parallel Dracula’s dislike of humanity. However overall his character lacked a proactive motivating force.

Honestly the most interesting thing I found in s3 was Alucard clearly misses Sypha and Trevor, however they don’t miss him or refer to him

One reason Sumi & Taka betray Alucard is for the secrets and power of Castlevania. After inviting the village including St Germain who Alucard was warned of into the Castle, Alucard makes 0 effort to secure anything, not even his personal childhood room. Guess he really learned nothing

Discussing St Germain, I think it’s funny that they had a several minute flashback sequence for his lost girlfriend (who doesn’t have a name or a voice actor), to remind the viewer of who he is, and to justify how he’s suddenly back and down for murder.

In s4 there is the call to help the village, and the walk back to the castle is a montage of Alucard opening up to Greta and becoming friendly literally overnight. He laughs off the impaling, and basically all of the darker things he went through in season 3, which has me asking what was the point of his season 3 arc then? 

Honestly writing this I realize the biggest parallel he has with Dracula is the call to action from a bold woman with a dramatic entrance speech which then leads to a romance

Isaac’s arc:

in s3, with all the other themes of “humanity sucks” I was always unsure if the townspeople were meant to appear irrational while attacking a larger force instead of letting him pass through an leave, or him not caring about how he’s provoking them is meant to show his insanity

ive seen the discussion elsewhere, curious about the Discourse here

is s4 Isaac has the whole monologue about how he now has agency but him gaining that agency was his s3 arc. In s4 he’s already at the point of accepting it. By the end of s4 he’s one of those who comes the furthest from his first character appearance to his last.

s4e5 where of Isaac attacking Carmilla in Isaac’s 2nd appearance had him resolving like 4 plot threads at once (Carmilla, Striga& Morana, Hector, and Isaac himself).

but i do wonder if Trevor, Sypha, or Alucard even know any of these people exist. I think not

I was honestly confused if I missed a scene from his dialogue about building something and what is inherent nature, to “My plan has evolved, my plan is now conquest” because he only conquests the one castle and the rest is left unclear

Upon rewatch the connection there is “killing [the wizard] felt just ... I liked that feeling”, so the show says that Isaac in the end attacked Carmilla for the sake of justice and not revenge.

Isaac in his last conversation expresses the theme of s4 “build something new on these old bones, where people can live for the future”

however, his arc honestly feel scenes were cut, and then dialogue was written around it. He’s the only living character who doesn’t show up in the epilogue and the sentient night creature “what if I could empty hell” dialogue was some of the most interesting worldbuilding. Night creatures with sentience and possibility of regaining memories!!!!

The Council of Sisters & Hector’s arc:

oh I’ve already seen s4 discourse about Lenore/Hector while searching for character analysis, a chunk of it seems to be rationalizing the absolute difference between how s3 ended with these characters and s4. It was extremely confusing for me and my friends; wondering if 1) was Hector showing more emotional intelligence than before and putting on a facade to cover up hatred? Nope 2) did more time pass than 6 weeks for there to be some kind stockholm syndrome? No, Hector seems fine to let Lenore kill herself

The slave control ring: played up in the climax of s3 and easily solved s4. s3 Lenore says if he tries to harm them, flee, or take it off it would cause crippling pain, in s4 Hector just easily cuts off his own finger.

for a control ring that they take time to show a version being on the Rebus, it doesn’t do much controlling of Hector

also guess the definition of “do harm” just refers to direct action

Lenore in s4: has no purpose in conquest, has that useless remarked on by multiple characters, is imprisoned, then kills herself after a genre aware philosophical discussion. This essay is long enough, but what the fuck happened to this character who ended s3 clearly physically and sexually abusive? Seriously this was one of the biggest writing changes to the point where she was treating Hector as an equal. Compare her last words in s3 “shh the real people [vampires] are talking”. The change in the relationship is actually something I would have taken being shown, or atleast told of what exactly caused this change other than the vague “you adopted him”

Striga&Morana get the best arc of the Council. 3 scenes: the tent argument, Daybreak armor fight & argument resolution, declaration of feelings and turning away. You could argue Castlevania is plot to be connective tissue between fight scenes, but for all the dialogue about human resistance in different seasons it was nice to see it. Overall the scenes were short but had a lot of showing what their relationship is not just telling,

unlike Carmilla. For as much hyping up as they did with her, and as much power as she had, she only appeared in 2 episodes and no other group except Isaac knew about her military conquest.

the map scene where she states her motive for conquest of wanting to take things from old men is the key example of how characterization became tell not show. How interesting was that monologue compared to the past seasons flashback to her murmuring the old vampire lord, or all her repeated insults of men/man-children that shows how she judges people??

That monologue had to carry the weight of justifying the Sisterhood bonds falling apart as well as why her motivation changed from building a human pen from Styria to Braila to world conquest. I think it did so poorly

Sypha & Trevor

really Sypha & Trevor have the main plot in the show. I checked and post season 1 the only episode they don’t appear in is s4e6, which is entirely devoted to the Isaac, Hector, and Council of Sisterhood arc. Their partnership and adventures are the main plot of the show.

Its easy to see what Trevor’s arc was over the show: coming to peace with the deaths of his family, taking up the mantle of being a Belmont, and starting a new family with Sypha.

With Sypha I actually had to scroll through tv tropes for what is her character arc, and I guess hers is disillusionment from adventure and life outside the speakers? My friends joke that Sypha’s magic is what the plot demands to look cool in a fight, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Tangent: the ending of their arc was easy to guess: as soon as Trevor went to fight the final boss alone I literally said “oh i bet Sypha’s pregnant, Trevor’s doing a heroic sacrifice, theyll use the unexplained magical dagger mcguffin, and 60/40 odds that he goes through an infinite corridor to outright come back vs just the implication he might come back”

I guess my final thought of the show, was overall the SUPER Final Boss got my by surprise. It was a good twist I enjoyed. Not that Death appeared, I had guessed that from the heavy foreshadowing, but I was surprised by who it was, because I had thought I thought the characters involved feeling shoehorned into the plot was just more bad writing. The Alchemist who put St Germain on the path or murder for no discernible motive for helping? Sure gotta move the plot along. New Dracula court member Varney who has a whole introduction with almost every character he meets and banter about his smell? Sure thats basically how all characters talk with a snarky and acerbic voice.

[tepidtrashpile]

covering taeyong’s parts

I am HEATED.

tldr: i don’t usually do stuff like this but i’m highly caffeinated and have nothing better to do so prepare for a (very convoluted and long) rant cause omg im so fucking mad. 

so for those of you who don’t know, nct 2020 had a resonance vlive/concert last night (dec 26/27) and taeyong and jisung were unable to perform due to a back injury (herniated disk) and knee injury respectively.

I’ll mainly be talking about taeyong in this just due to his extrEmely large presence within NCT and also jisung was there to vocally cover his parts.

(also not to take anything away from jisung, however in the sheer amount of screentime and tracks ty is in, him missing is much harder to disguise within a performance with or without vocals) 

in order these are the members that covered ty’s parts in each song (tbh i may be forgetting some, but the point is look at how hard they had to work to even fill ty’s dance position within the concert, the boy is in like 50% of their performed tracks)

nct u - boss - sungchan

nct u - the 7th sense - shotaro 

nct u - light bulb - yangyang

nct 127 - touch - haechan (first part), johnny (iconic ty and mork), yuta (pulls up in the chorus to fill in ty part to the stage right of jh) 

nct u - make a wish - jeno (first part), jaemin (basically rest of the song)

nct 127 - kick it - mark (usually the center parts), jaehyun (first rap), yuta (end dance break), johnny (mark stepped on him rip lol)

nct u - misfit - johnny (start), sungchan (end)

nct 2020 - resonance - jeno / jaemin (?) - dude idk im having trouble keeping up at this point

// I want to make it very clear that NCT would not be where it is without taeyong. I’m not suggesting that he is replaceable in any way, shape or form. however as a person with two parents in the performance industry - and im sure that many of u understand just from general life experience -- the show mUst go on. when you have a presence as large as ty missing, it is undoubtedly going to take a toll on the overall energy and performance but i personally think that the boys fucking killed it -- especially with such a short turnaround from learning that ty would not be performing. (jaemin said that jeno legit had one HOUR to practice the beginning of maw (and by proxy the beginning of resonance) and that amount of talent and skill is unfuckingbelievable) but I digress. 

// there is nothing wrong with being disappointed that taeyong cannot perform. (get well soon ty!) he is an incredible performer and human being. there is nothing wrong with seeing (and understanding) that another member filling ty’s part is going to FEEL different, even if they do a phenomenal job. there is nothing wrong with feeling the difference in energy and performance -- there is obviously ANOTHER PERSON doing the part that we are accustomed to. there is nothing wrong with having a conversation and discourse about the performance. however... there IS something wrong with putting down members and harshly criticizing their performance in a malicious way. constructive criticism is one thing, but a lot (not all but an overwhelming amount) of what I have seen in the comments and the little bit of twitter i have been on has just been bashing members (one in particular) about their performance. 

//

// let me get the easy part out of the way here. jaemin and jeno killed it during maw. yuta’s dance break, mark’s center time, jaehyun covering ty’s rap, and johnny stepping up to get stepped on (hehe i’ll stop now don’t mind me) were all surprisingly refreshing. yangyang covering lightbulb was (imo) one of highlights of the concert. for a rapper who often doesn’t get the recognition that he deserves he did a PHENOMENAL job covering the entirety of ty’s parts in his own way and conveying his emotions. yes, the members weren’t the same as taeyong, however, they added their own twist and their own personalities to it. it is in fact BETTER to do this and be remembered for their own style than attempt to emulate someone else’s performance. it is the sign of a great artist to take something and make it your own. 

// now, onto the two newest members. i will be candid about this. the biggest difference I felt within the performance was when sungchan and shotaro were covering ty’s parts. tbh this is to be expected (?). i’m not trying to put down the boys but the reality is that they debuted 2-3 MONTHS ago? all of the other members covering ty’s parts have had significantly more experience in every aspect of performing. jaemin and jeno may be about the same age as chan and shotaro but they have upwards of 4 years more experience (debuted anyway, and anyone can tell u that practicing vs the real thing can be a very daunting change) than the other two. the other members have performed in front of a live crowd, they have had time to deal with criticism and learn from it. they are just in every way more experienced, and although we expect great things out of all the members, it is simply unrealistic to expect the same level of performance out of members with 2 years less experience than anyone else on the stage. 

aneway...

shotaro covered one of the hardest parts in nct history - taeyong’s 7th sense. in every way - the rap, the technicality of the dance, the sheer charisma ty brings - this was a daunting task. him being a rookie DID show in the performance. this isn’t a bad thing. the tone of his rap did sometimes lack nuance and the level of sophistication that we know taeyong to have. however, i do think shotaro was the right choice for this song. you have to give rookies experience for them to grow, and a concert like this (even without a live crowd) is a great time to do it. (i’ll get into logistics later but bear with me)

the sad reality is that we’re probably not going to have large in person concerts for at least the next year and it will be a long time til travel, concerts, and simply life return to what they were before covid. it will be a very long til the boys get to perform on a stage with the energy of a crowd in the same way they have up til now. 

now sungchan. my poor bb sungchan :(

sungchan covered ty’s part is boss (and a little bit in misfit but johnny covered the first part and its more of a hype rap song than one with designated dance moves and centre parts). the dance (in boss) may not be the most technical but this is an unfORGETTABLE song when it comes to taeyong’s part. the beginning “nct leggo?” *chefs kiss*. from what i’ve seen sungchan is the one receiving  the most criticism (read hate) about his performance. look, i’m not going to argue that out of all the members who filled ty’s part he was the weakest. (im not trying to hate, but imo his performance was the weakest, u can disagree with me). he definitely less comfortable with covering taeyong’s part than anyone else was - including shotaro. i think most of the criticism is coming from the fact that he just looked anxious and unable to throw himself into the choreo and when comparing him to taeyong (who again just -- idk he’s unexplainable) his performance does fall a little flat. imo the rap was okay, his tone is actually somewhat similar to ty. i really think that most of the hate is stemming from the execution of the choreo rather than the rap. HOWEVER... calling him “stiff as a board” and commenting “cap” emojis does absolutely nothing except spread unnecessary hate. sungchans position is NOT as a dancer. he is only listed as a rapper. shotaro, however, is listed as both a dancer and a rapper. not to say that these listings are the end all be all of a member’s position, but because they are so new they are a decent representation of what SM thought their strengths were. we would love our idols to be aces at everything, but they are human and humans have their strengths and weaknesses. compared to taeyong, and also shotaro, sungchan does not have the technical ability nor the confidence while dancing. I’d like to believe that anyone who analyzes their performances and takes an objective view can understand where i am coming from. 

tldr: you are placing unrealistic expectations on a rookie who’s main position is NOT main dancer. you are asking him to fill the shoes of arguably one of the most charismatic and talented rappers, leaders, and centers of 4th gen kpop... as a ROOKIE. his performance is most likely going to show cracks of being relatively new to the stage. its okay to acknowledge that, but don’t be fucking rude when discussing his performance. 

// the amount of posts i’ve seen calling sungchan “untalented” “stiff as a board” just im so fucking over it. yes, his performance had its weaknesses but name-calling and just straight up hate does nothing to help a performer and just ruins everyone’s mental. you can bet your ass that every single one of these boys has worked their ass off, given up unimaginable things, and faced challenges to get where they are today. not to mention that (in particular the case of sungchan and shotaro) these boys are young. the other youngest/newest members have had about 2 years (yangyang, xiaojun, hendery) to become accustomed to the criticism and also hatred that comes with being in the spotlight. sungchan is less than a MONTH older than me. shotaro is just a year older than me. my best friend is legit older than both of these boys. idk your age but think about yourself at their age, or where u think you’ll be at their age. they have accomplished SO much and are so young. they’re 19 and 20 and in an internationally recognized band. we know that a lot of these boys (and idols) do read our comments. i don’t care how much media training you’ve received, how strong your mental is, getting called untalented and being hated on is going to take a toll on your mental. along with that, what is the NEED? to spread hate? to show that “huhu, im such a big deal that all these people are responding to me”. like, legit wtf do u gain from this? 

// when you are a performer you do open yourself up to criticism, it is part of the job. but criticism and hate are two very different things. to get where nct is today, every single member has to be humble enough to accept guidance AND constructive criticism. we all know how much the boys value nctizens opinions and take them into account when performing. when you are a performer like that you also have to criticize your own work. no matter what profession you are in, no matter what you do, you analyze ur own work and attempt to make it better. i can all but assure u that shotaro and sungchan (and all the boys) know their strengths and weaknesses, know when a specific move, performance, or other area of their ability is not up to par (or they just want to improve which is imperative to success in the music industry)

just be a decent human being. put urself in all of the boy’s shoes and think “hmm how would i feel if some stranger on the internet said this about me” before you make hateful statements. 

again, there is nothing wrong with having a discussion and understanding that humans have strengths and weaknesses, but don’t just put someone down because u feel like it.

//

in case you aren’t convinced to be a decent person, have a more logical (?) approach -- not that u should have to shown a dissertation to be a decent human but i digress.

(think about how many other songs the rest of rap line has to perform, logistically, who else are you going have cover the entierty of boss and 7th sense.)

rap line is: taeyong, mark, lucas, hendery, jeno, jaemin, yangyang, shotaro, sungchan, and jisung (?).  

everyone except lucas and hendery (and jisung but bb was injured :( ) covered ty’s part in some aspect. in fact, people not in the friggin rap line helped cover some of ty’s rap (johnny, jaehyun, haechan im looking at you) and other members covered dancing and center parts when they were asked to.

mark is in just as many tracks as ty and was RUNNING around to get to the next song this entire concert. you can legit see his outfit change with jackets and hats. he filled in for ty in kick it (group effort but u get the point) but in 7th sense just to the way that the song works and the dance etc etc, you can’t have mark doing his part as well as ty’s without it falling flat and taking a huge toll on mark. same with boss, marks filling just as big a role as ty and like, legit how do u give this boy mOre lines than he already has. (u can see that sm did a similar thing with jeno and jaemin in the beginning of maw, jeno covers the first part and then jaemin the rest of the song because jaemin can’t leave an open space at the vEry beginning of the song) (10/21 total performances)

lucas isn’t in as many as say mark but he is in boss and make a wish (boss being very hard for him to cover ty’s part, and jeno and jaemin covered maw. if i’m being completely honest i don’t think lucas has the same tone or technical ability to fit into ty’s parts in the songs as much as say - sungchan on a pure technical and tone pov (6/21 total performances)

hendery, similar to lucas isn’t in an absurd amount of tracks but still enough to tire a guy out lol. because of him performing full choreos in other songs it doesn’t make sense for him to learn a completely new choreo while simultaneously having to memorize and practice the others songs. also, in a similar vein of lucas, i just don’t think hendery is the first choice when choosing someone to cover ty’s parts (dont kill me hendery and lucas stans lol) (6/21 total performances)

jeno while jeno isn’t in the sheer number of performances as other members, he does end up covering ty’s starting part in maw (see reasoning for jaemin above). this by proxy means he covers the maw part in resonance. while he does a fantastic job covering the starting part, asking him to learn the entirety of boss or 7th sense would be a fuckton of work. u can legit see him yEEt himself out of camera view after his part - not to mention again that he had an hour to practice lol (6/21 total performances) 7/21 covering

jaemin - first off u can literally see jaemin’s energy fall throughout the final song the boy is so tired by aneyway... it makes total sense for him to cover maw as he already knows the choreo and it take less effort than learning an entirely new song. also, when ur comparing popularity/center time between jeno and jaemin vs. hendery (even lucas sometimes) they simply have more, and when u aRe in the center u have to expend more energy becAuse u are holding the performance together (6/21 performances)

yangyang let me get my yangyang simping out of the way, but this boy is so fucking talented and his rap deserves more praise. lightbulb compared to other songs ty is in, is a more melodic and emotional based song. there is no choreo, therefore the person covering the rap just has to focus on the rap itself rather than the rap AND the choreo. imo this was the best possible choice for someone to cover ty’s part in lightbulb (6/21 total) 7/21 covering ty’s part

shotaro shotaro is only in 4/21 performances. it simply makes sense for the rap line member with the fewest songs to perform to learn a a full choreo. as stated above, 7th sense is the more technically difficult of the songs that required learning and covering a full part. assigning shotaro (the dance line member) to the more challenging choreo is just the easy choice -- especially if ya’ll gonna come for sungchan’s dancing skills, give the damn song to shotaro smh (4/21 performances) 5 when covering 7th sense

sungchan tied with shotaro for the fewest performances (just by nature of being the newest members) in the same way that it makes sense for shotaro to learn a full choreo, it makes sense for sungchan. reasoning for the assigned songs above. (4/21 total performacnes) 5 with boss

// the songs where they didn’t have a designated member cover most/all of taeyong’s parts were in the 127 songs as well as in baby don’t stop (ten and taeyong duet). 127 is the most veteran of the nct subgroups, and is in general just more accustomed to filling in parts (ie winwin - screw u sm lol). they have johnny who trained as a rapper who can fill in, jaehyun, haechan, and yuta have all proven that they can cover rap with more a sing-rap style and mark can take/cover parts when it is logistically possible. 

// in 127′s songs although ty does often take center and many lines, in general 127 is just a more well rounded group. (don’t come for my ass). in the same way that dream has an undeniable chemistry, 127 is the same way. when you work with the same group of people for an extended period of time without many (if any) changes you just build better chemistry. in nct u taeyong takes more of the spotlight just due to his charisma and raw power. think about it. which performance suffered more due to taeyong’s absence: touch / kick it or make a wish / boss / 7th sense. 

also: because 127 is a fixed unit all the boys know the choreo and have consistently performed it at concerts allowing for member to step in where they know they are comfortable without the amount of discussion it might otherwise take in a rotational group

// take a second to think about a certain performance without taeyong in it. it may just be me, but i think 127 fare much better without their leader than any rotational group without taeyong very (firmly ?) bolstering the performance in the center. (taeyong doesn’t hold all these titles for nothing, he is truly another breed)

// in baby don’t stop they didn’t even attempt to cover taeyong’s absence. idk if that was ten putting his foot down and saying that he didn’t want someone covering the part or if it was more of a choice based on marketing and fanservice. baby don’t stop is truly ten and taeyong’s song and idk if even pairing 10 with a dancer with ty’s vocal in the backtrack would have received positive feedback. 

//

if you have somehow made it this far props to you lol. a rant that started because i wanted to defend sungchan has turned into a long analysis of members... whoops.

tldr: just be a decent human being. everyone in nct is human. a talented, multifaceted, human with strengths and weaknesses. being a nctizen doesn’t mean not being proud, disappointed, happy, or any other emotion about the boys. but it does mean treating the boys and other fans with respect. 

[fandomhammer]

Another round of sally face facts you don’t know:

You cannot dismiss the suicide note

commonly thought is not an argument, it was up for interpretation and it’s also common to think it’s about ghost hunting

Steve said it’s okay since they’re not blood related which is so fucking disgusting thing to say I would advise to NOT use in any discussion

Apart from the fact how many other shitty things his done (also in game events, like the insanely racist native plot line) so maybe don’t use the creator at your moral code

He also do everything for his fans for some reasons but IN game, which is the source that you primarily talk about, it’s always that they see each other as brothers

You said “oh they saw each other as just friends” but it’s not true

Maybe you’re right, lying is too strong wording, you just spread more misinformation which is already a big problem in sally face fandom. I guess some fake tales are also the reason for your og post.

Like, don’t get me wrong, Idc that much about incestous ship of some freaks or the fight in this fandom. It’s just annoying that anyone is trying to argument that shipping brothers it’s not incest because *insert invalid argument*

Sal and Larry are brothers. It’s canon, we could see it coming since ep 3 (it was foreshadowed, many people DID catch on it) and nothing will change that.

Just stop spreading misinformation and stop trying to argument it’s alright to ship it? Like it’s not even about discourse, it’s just sallarry shippers should accept the reality and tag their ship properly with right tag “incest” so no one can get triggered and stop trying to justify it, which usually means they don’t respect adoptive or step family just like Steve.

I did not dismiss the note, I forgot a small detail from it, because I haven’t played it in almost a year.

it wasn’t supposed to be an argument, I was just saying

Steve is NOT my moral code, that was supposed be like. “harass the grown man who made the fucking game and said the gross fucking thing, not a teenager on the internet who you disagree with.”

ok

I posted something accidentally incorrect onto my personal tumblr. it’s out there for anyone to read but I’m not taking personal responsibility for spreading misinformation. especially when there are people in my inbox yelling at me before anything “bad” has happened

my argument was never “shipping brothers isn’t incest” it was “I don’t personally see them as brothers” which might’ve been wrong, but you can’t make it seem like I said something I didn’t

ok yeah you’re right whatever

again I’m not even gonna accept my “spreading of misinformation” as a thing I actually did. I’ve posted every reply telling me I’m wrong. I’m wrong, I said it! but I didn’t say it’s okay to ship it, I said I don’t personally have a problem with it. my very original post that started this nonsense was correct - people in this fandom will hear you MENTION Salarry and accuse you of anything negative they can.

I am gonna say it again tho because some people seem to have a hard time understanding: INCEST IS WRONG. I RESPECT FOUND/ADOPTED/STEP FAMILY.

leave me alone now unless you have something genuinely constructive and true to say because I ADMIT IM WRONG

[malopeach]

honestly i think the whole ‘queer is a slur!!11!!!!!1!!’ discourse really is an online exclusive, cuz if you walked into any queer pride event in the south and tried that, you would undoubtedly get your shit rocked

like no shit it was a slur, so was Gay. so was Lesbian and Dyke. so was Transvestite but it still became the preferred term for trans people until most of us started using transgender (and there are still DEFINITELY older ppl who use transvestite and i’m not about to correct somebody who fought cops and shit for our rights!!). and if i ever find a better word than queer that neatly encapsulates my experience with gender and sexuality i’d jump on it! but for now, i’m QUEER. THAT is my identity, that is who i am, a queer person! and reminding a, quite frankly, Massive group of people that one of their primary descriptors was used as a slur for a long time isn’t helpful or constructive.

if you don’t like the term for yourself, cool, no worries. I will never personally refer to someone with a term their uncomfortable with cuz that’s their choice. but stop?? coming to queer people and telling them they have to keep that term to themselves and that it shouldn’t be use publicly??? if everyone decided suddenly that lesbian should be considered a slur again and no one should say it, im sure lesbians would be fuckin pissed dude.

And furthermore, stop fucking following people that OPENLY IDENTIFY AS QUEER IF YOU HATE THAT WORD SO MUCH. im sick of having to block folks ive been mutuals with for a while because one day they decide to wake up and reblog posts about how MY identity is a problem for them. I have the fact that im queer LISTED ON MY BLOGGGG do not FOLLOW ME if you don’t like that term!! it is that simple???

and again, really, EXCLUSIVELY an online problem. i have never seen anybody who attends Actual queer events take issue with the term, because theres bigger issues to deal with. One of the biggest lgbt organizations in my area is named SFQP; Southern Fried QUEER Pride. and they’re like, the go to group for when you’re queer and in need, or wanna host a gay event. No one takes issue with it, cuz quite frankly Local Biggots Trying To Kill Us is a big issue, language policing is definitely not.

[where-all-the-time-went]

gah, screw it

[ID: A tumblr post from me, reading, “now is probably the time to write my 500-word essay on the politics of revolution of the daleks that gets 30 notes and is never seen again, which i return to in a month to find a lot of typos, otherwise no one will see it, isn’t it,,, “but i haven’t seen jack robertson’s first episode,,,”. End ID.] answer: yes, it is. but im gonna take a while to write this and look up a summary of arachnids in the uk (which i dont wanna watch because i heard its Not Good and you dont have to watch every episode of doctor who to be a fan, ok?) i sometimes talk about politics on tumblr, but rarely do i make political posts--mainly because, as my sidebar bio says, i’m a teenager. i don’t really have a degree in politics, and as much as i have been trying to read up on political stuff, its kinda hard when i dont have access to a college professor to guide me along. still, some things about this episode stood out to me, especially because it’s stuff i’ve noticed in a lot of media. i’m not even sure where i stand politically, but i absolutely love media commentary, and i have so many thoughts i feel like i never get to put out there when im watching movies and tv. obviously, spoilers under the cut (and it probably won’t actually be 500 words. probably.) i’m also gonna assume you’ve seen this episode, because i don’t wanna recap it. if you haven’t, go watch it! tbh, it’s well worth it (my favorite chibs era episode, just ahead of the haunting of villa diodati and demons of the punjab)

Now, um, obviously this episode is political. It’s the in-your-face without down-your-throat type of political we know and love. Still, media can be a direct allegory that wouldn’t bother the average viewer while still having politics that are good, bad, or somewhere in the middle (I mean this extremely subjectively). First, I’d like to address the elephant in the room:

While a Doctor Who festive special would normally film in the summer, this time the episode was filmed well ahead in winter 2019, over a year before it was due to be broadcast in a bid to include it within filming for series 12 (which aired from January to March) and give cast a longer break.

- The Radio Times

I’ve noticed some people pointing out that the episode references the protests that happened this summer. Honestly, I’d love it if that was the intention behind the episode, because then maybe Chris Chibnall’s team really does have a TARDIS, and we can all just time travel out of this mess.

[ID: An image from “Revolution of the Daleks.” A very sleek Dalek stands in front of police who have riot shields. The air is foggy, possibly gaseous. End ID.] However, the protests from this summer and the episode itself do not exist inside a bubble. Police brutality did not come into existence this summer, and it did not end with the autumn equinox. The episode, while featuring a small-scale protest that was eerily reminiscent of the large BLM protests this year, chooses to focus instead on one of the roots of the issue: somehow, capitalism.

I can’t say how purposeful the anti-capitalist messaging in the episode was. Obviously, Jack Robertson is meant to be an American capitalist caricature. Not to mention, Doctor Who is a family-friendly show: you can’t get too overt with what can be considered “radical” coding. Nonetheless, the episode tackles the connection between policing and money, and thus inherently comments on capitalism. 

The Dalek itself only exists to support the police force because Prime Minister Patterson knows that the idea of security will appeal to her constituency. Simultaneously, it could not exist if Robertson didn’t know just how profitable it would be. As they preach security, they create chaos. More importantly, the security they preach is one that bases itself on profit--similar to the weapons of the policeforce, and the prison industrial complex. As a result, the “security” inevitably fails.

[ID: Prime Minister Patterson, in a red coat, listens to Jack Robertson and Leo, in dark neutral-toned clothes both. They stand in front of a brick wall as they discuss the new Dalek plans. End ID.] Unfortunately, while the show presents a clear stance against money in policing, there is never any direct call to action. The political allegory may be straightforward and obvious, but the solution at the end is just to end the Daleks, and watch as Robertson announces his run for President (which, by the way, is very reminiscent of Trump, who does exist in-universe, so that’s weird). Regardless of all that, why am I even talking about this? Well, on the one hand, I love talking about these sorts of things. On the other hand, this post has started to sound like nothing but a rant with some pictures. Earlier, I said that this was something I noticed in a lot of media. For instance, I think of “The Boys,” with its obvious anti-capitalist and anti-military industrial complex messaging. At the same time, the show offers no solutions. Both are afraid of the obvious solution to capitalism: replacing it. To be clear, I say this as a person who is unsure about capitalism. I don’t know where I stand. Like I said, I’m a teenager. However, these shows can’t seem to make a decision either, when they're made by big companies with big budgets and professional adults. Politics in popular media tends to fit perfectly with the popular politics of the time, given that media must do so in order to make profit. Hence, similar to the media we consume, so many individuals seem to recognize that there’s something off with the hand money has in politics, and war, and security, yet no one seems to look for solutions.  Personally, I love talking about politics in the media, and analyzing media in general, because it’s the best way for me to communicate my internal thoughts. Meanwhile, I don’t even know my own internal thoughts. This post’s very existence is ironic. I had said in a very awful post that I wanted to write this when the tag was still trending, because I, in part, want someone else to do the thinking for me. I want people to see this and go, “well, okay, here’s where you’re wrong,” or, “here’s what we do about it.” Do I then have a responsibility to know what I’m talking about? Is the discourse all that matters? Does the media as a whole have to propel revolutionary ideas to get them into the social conscience, or can it just open up discussion?  There is, of course, irony in shows that could only exist in a capitalist world degrading aspects of that system. But no one, not even me, is exempt from the fact that these ideas do not exist in a bubble. The show’s protests look eerily familiar because, as this summer has proven, those protests are profitable (see literally every ad from companies that own sweatshops talking about how much they care about races they don’t represent in their board of directors). At the same time, I exist in that capitalist world, and my opinions have been formed via the capitalist media I was raised with. tl;dr: i know literally nothing. im sure of literally nothing. help, someone tell me about the politics of doctor who. wow, this was a really sad tl;dr, i normally make a shitty joke here. um, uh, EXTERMINATE

[angel-deux-writes]

Hi Angel! I've been a big fan of yours since HCM, and so I wanted to express my concern for your wellbeing. There was that big break when you took a month or so to finish HCM before posting it in quick succession, in order to not have to deal with the comments. Now, from what you've been writing in the notes to Dorne Rights, it looks like you are experiencing something similar. The selfish fan in me wants you to keep writing and keep posting, but the basic human in me is more worried that (1/2)

you are unhappy. Nothing is worth making yourself unhappy over, particularly not something that’s meant to give you pleasure. A favourite author of mine back in the days of my Spike/Angel obsession had a disclaimer on her stories telling readers to please not leave feedback of any kind, not even constructive criticism, on her fics because she finds them unhelpful. Her comment section was full of chats about various topics in that fandom, rather than her own fiction. Might help. (2/2)

Hello! I really appreciate this message, because you’re right: fanfic writing isn’t good for me.

(lol putting this beneath the cut because it’s way too long)

It’s actually my experience in this fandom that has made me realize that writing in general probably isn’t good for me, but unfortunately I feel a drive to it and can’t seem to stop myself from thinking I’ll one day get published, so that’s a bit of a downer. The truth is that I’m naturally disposed toward thinking that I’m shit, my words are shit, and every thought I’ve ever had is unoriginal and poorly written. It’s always been like that, from the time I wrote my first attempt at fiction at 7 years old to now at 31. It takes a lot for me to share my writing with people. I started writing fic at 14, basically as soon as I discovered that I wasn’t the only person composing stories about Han and Leia in their free time. I’m sure that my fics were horrendous. I give myself a hard time now, but 14 year old me probably deserved it even more. But there were sweet people on the internet who encouraged me (and lied to me) and told me that my stories were good, and that made a huge difference. 

(that and my freshman year english teacher, who was very very cute and earnest and young and made me feel like I could actually be a writer.)

I’ve never been a part of a fandom before. Discourse and meta and long discussions about canon events have never interested me. I’ve said that before, and it remains true! I consume what canon there is, and sometimes I like it, and sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I’m so dissatisfied with it that I need to write something, and so I do. I don’t think I’ve ever written fic for something that I found entirely satisfactory. The extension of my being part of an actual fandom in the past was probably reblogging a few gifsets and recommending it to friends. I’ve just never had that sort of communal experience. This, the J/B fandom, was my first time really getting into it. It’s the first time I’ve ever made friends online that weren’t just frequent commenters on long multichapter fics! It has been exciting and I’m grateful for it! It’s just also probably not good for me. 

It’s just, like, every time I post something, I’m fighting a very loud and very desperate voice in my head that’s saying “you’re shit and you shouldn’t bother”. It’s why I’m so good at writing first drafts of novels but so, so bad at getting past the second. It’s why I usually post fics only until I’ve worked out my frustrations: one or two fics per fandom and then ghosting away forever. It’s very hard to defy that voice and post something anyway, and this fandom experience has taught me that no matter HOW many stories I post, I’m ALWAYS going to have to fight that voice. And it’s gotten actively stronger. “You’re not what this fandom wants” “You’re not good at this” “Everyone’s just being nice” “You’ve overstayed your welcome”. Paying attention, often by accident, to the discourse and the metas only makes it worse, because my brain automatically turns to “well YOU don’t write them like that. That means you’re wrong”. I can tell myself as many times as I want that I myself like many different interpretations of J/B! My brain goes “yeah, but you’re just an idiot who doesn’t know any better. There’s a right way, and you’re not doing it”. 

THIS IS ALL SO DRAMATIC! But it’s just the truth! Every time I post something, it’s against my nature. NO ONE outside of fandom reads my writing! I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve allowed my close friends and family to read things. So while it may seem like, idk, like I should just be able to get over it, negative comments, or even SLIGHTLY critical comments, really hit me hard. For all the positive feedback I get (and I really AM super grateful for it, and it means the world to me), those few critical voices seem louder because they’re agreeing with what I have already known about myself. And so it feels almost like a victory, but a shitty one. “Ha! I was right this whole time! I AM a shit writer, and I’ve for some reason tricked those other people into thinking I’m good!” 

For a long time (much longer than I’ve ever written for any other fandom, obviously), I was able to shove it to the side. The J/B fandom HAS been super good to me, and they HAVE been wonderful about giving me feedback and making me feel welcome and included. But those negative voices are just SO LOUD to me, even though I know logically that they shouldn’t be. 

It would be easy to point to a specific problem and say that my issues will be fixed if only I can address that. I do it CONSTANTLY. Maybe if I stopped tagging other relationships. Maybe if I stopped tagging other characters. Maybe if I tagged my works super specifically. Maybe if I made author’s notes about how I’m a shit writer and people shouldn’t expect things from me. Maybe if I just wrote “THIS STORY IS WRITTEN ALREADY AND IM JUST EDITING AS I GO! PLEASE DONT SUGGEST THINGS!” I just feel like, increasingly, I want fewer and fewer eyes on my fics. It’s the opposite of the problem I thought I would have. But my confidence took a huge hit with HCM, and then I was finally feeling good enough to post Dorne Rights. It was probably a mistake! 

idk, maybe it’s just all the shit that’s going on in the world + in my personal life. Maybe it’s just time. Maybe I’m just running out of inspiration. But the positive voices aren’t loud enough to drown out my own negative self-voice this time, and so I’ve been trying to figure out how to handle it. Part of me wants to delete Dorne Rights with the intention of reworking it and maybe posting it again down the line with fewer tags and a lot more reminders that people can write their own stories if they don’t like mine. Part of me wants to just do a HCM and post it all at once so that I can leave the finished product up (even if I now think the entire thing is garbage). Part of me wants to stop writing fic entirely, at least until the next time I watch something with an ending so bad it fucks me up. I think my solution will probably be a massive step back from fandom for a little while. I’ve been feeling a drive to work on my original stuff, and I should probably lean into that. I would like to still write and post J/B, once I find the inspiration, but I’m tired of feeling like this is a job. I think I got so deeply sunk into this attitude of “I NEED to write and post constantly because these people want me to, and they actually like what I write!!” that I stopped writing things because I wanted to write them and started writing them because I wanted to write things for other people, to make other people happy, and so that they could tell me that I’m not a shit writer at all.

I should make it clear that I do intend to write my JB fic swap thing FOR SURE. I will drag that story out of myself no matter what. But in general it’s probably just healthier for me to not spend so much time On Here especially, and on fic in general.

[eulaties]

my opinion about true beauty

lowkey this is gonna be a post where i rant about true beauty’s (webtoon) downfalls. obviously do not interact if ur gonna disagree, because i dont want any unnecessary discourse. (also im not posting this so i can be convinced that true beauty is actually a good webtoon - i just need to get this off my chest.)

first of all...let me address the weak writing and plot. it really seems as if the author is just shifting focus to boy drama and not actual character development/plot that would be actually interesting? i also get the feeling that the plot is literally going nowhere. i don’t have any excitement for what’s going to happen next - it’s either way too predictable or i know something mundane is going to drag on for multiple episodes. and plus, it’s not like “true beauty” is a feel-good cliché story (if it was, i would understand why people would defend it, because it could be a comfort webtoon). no, instead, it really drills in that if you don’t fit into society’s beauty standard, you’re ugly. if you’re slightly overweight? you’re fat and you’re ugly. you have acne? ugly. you have stretch marks? you have hair on your arms and legs? you have bushy eyebrows, small eyes, a wide face, and you wear glasses? absolutely disgusting.

(please note my personal opinions do not reflect anything i said up there. im just stating what i perceive true beauty is trying to say.)

according to this webtoons, if you’re not skinny, thin, tall but not too tall, have good skin, big eyes, etc. then you’re fucking ugly. which is such a jarring message? especially because the author really drills this in at the beginning of the webtoon (which i initially excused because i thought that the author would address this later down the road and have jugyeong have character development...haha no). and also, get this - you’re human and it’s natural to have those things??? i don’t understand how any of that makes you ugly. it doesn’t. and it’s such a bad message to be giving out to younger audiences who are easily influenced by the media they consume !! this really just preys on people’s insecurities. so fucked up.

now let me talk about jugyeong specifically. she’s such a bad role model. okay, at the beginning of the webtoon we see her discover makeup and then have a “glow up”. then we see her struggle with her insecurities. that part of the story was fine, because it at least showed a human side to jugyeong. also, she actually had personality. she had a passion for horror, wanted to pursue being a makeup artist, genuinely enjoyed helping other people, didn’t judge people off of superficial beliefs, etc etc. then, the time skip happens and literally all of jugyeong’s personality is wiped away. and now she has literal cardboard as her personality. all we know about her now is that seojun is her boyfriend!! this is her first relationship!! literally nothing else about her bc shes boring af now!! she’s a hypocrite and treats people she sees as “ugly” worse than her!! where did all of that character and personality from before go? it’s disappointing to say the least.

and don’t even get me started on seojun and suho, who are fighting for a girl who isn’t even wife material. not even gonna lie i don’t want either of them to end up w her. seojun, i acknowledge, has gone through a lot of character development and has actually changed & also has admirable ambitions. his relationship with jugyeong, however, is obviously not going to last at all. suho, on the other hand, is a nice person/the ONE decent person in this webtoon. unfortunately, i do have to acknowledge that outside of that, there’s not really much we know about suho (other than his dad being sick). and he has gone thru literally no character development. 

(shoutout to suho and aiden for being the only reasons i read this far tho, lmao)

i also want to address the title dilemma - by which i mean that “true beauty” is actually meant to be called “the secret of angel” or smth like that. which is like...okay the title is misleading which is so weird esp because this is one of the most popular webtoons on the site? i dont understand why they would purposely change the title if not to mislead people. also, i see some people defending the bad writing/characterization/clicheness of true beauty by saying that it’s supposed to be like a k-drama/reflective of korean culture...which is, by the way, so fucked up. first of all, k-dramas are not synonymous with shitty writing and characters. ALSO, get this: just because it’s korean, it doesn’t excuse any blatantly bad and superficial messages it gives out. especially because beauty standards in korea are toxic as hell.

so, think of this as my “breakup letter” to true beauty. what a shame, too, because i’ve been following this weekly for 2 years straight (since 2018!) and it’s just so goddamn disappointing how much true beauty has rapidly decreased in quality since.

(see “the man who cleans up makeup”/

“the makeup remover” webtoon, which is so much better and also gives off so many good messages WHILE ADDRESSING THE ROLE BEAUTY/MAKEUP PLAYS IN KOREAN SOCIETY.)

goodbye true beauty. hopefully you get better writing, characterization, and a better author one day!

[sui-senka]

The dumbest post

I think y’all should be here to witness the dumbest post I’ll ever make, as I’m not all about getting into discourse and that, and any other self-identifying Vergil lovers please come here:

@creepyscritches, @brasspetalsx, @fandomhell97, @breezeinmonochromenight, @kaldea88, @xalmasyx, @hornyangrybean, @noir-sorrow, @catspook, @xenontrioxide, @zilla-may-cry, @boobble, @vergilshusband, @tifaroni, @littlebluewraith, @im-a-clown, @genovaempera, @neodicronus, @thelessiknowtheworse, @thriilsy, @jestermania, @bunny-girl-sweetseek, @darka3363, @witchkiid, @45, @manadebutt, @magsamaire, @spaghetti-queerghetti, @clairexredfields, @204863-yunglynn, @yuri-subtext, @miss-soso-25, @josuke-kujo, @cameguisada, @trionfi, @glitteryhumanfiretrash, @lewdbunbun, @journalofsparda, @complacentdevil, @infernokid, @emogodmatthew, @brit-o-raptor, @salsa-and-chips, @gemstone-enema

I’d like y’all to bear witness, as I take down this bitch-ass clown. As I’ve blocked the person in question that I want to call out - please tag them into this post to have at them ;) Also - to the other people that didn’t get this, tag your mutuals and get them here.

I’d also like to announce that @thephantomporg84 is now masquerading as @derelict-stranger, and I got a few messages a few days ago about how she was gonna take down her account, and how she wants me to block all of you, which is ridiculous as you are all blogs that I have known and followed way before her and also I don’t know you either. I told her that I didn’t want to be involved in her drama, but here I am. 

It’s kinda hard for me to make this post, as I genuinely thought that she was cool in the beginning - she helped to give me more DMC asks in my inbox, and she always reblogged my stuff, as I’ve been trying to make it with the big guys - like @myfairmidnightladyspade.

But I saw the stuff that she says online to you all, and I think I got some anon messages from her asking if I was a terf or not... and yeah - my heart broke. I feel like I have been deceived in some way. What I wanted to be there was someone who was cool, and funny to talk to, but turns out that person is petty, heartless, immature and straight up spiteful.

I may have to justify myself in why I got messages from her - I was only trying to console her, but to do it in a neutral way as I wanted no part in her drama.

Also - i’m probably not gonna show any evidence for how much she sucks cause there’s tags and anon posts dedicated to that sort of thing

I want you on tumblr, and you on Reddit to find her, and in the /v/ section of 4chan to block her and report her for all she’s done. I want you to wipe her existence from the internet until there is nothing left.

Now - I need to change the flow of the conversation by directing it to you, @derelict-stranger.

I’d like you to kindly log off, take a breather and think, for a second about the actions that you’ve done to the people that I’ve mentioned above. 

I’d also like to tell you that your suggestion to block all those people above is complete nonsense. Why would you make me block blogs who have perfectly decent and awesome content, and to those who I have talked to longer than you? why would you make me block blogs who I don’t know? Quit trying to get me on your side. I want no part in your drama like I said before, and stop trying to manipulate me into getting me to give a shit about you.

I’d also like to tell you that your situation is entirely self-inflicted. That you trying to talk to me won’t work, the only reason that people are apparently “attacking you” - is because you, in fact, are the instigator, are the catalyst of all this hatred.

You - @derelict-stranger, lack any ability whatsoever to disagree well. From where I’m looking, all of this started because you don’t like Vergil from the Devil May Cry games and you don’t like the plot of 5, which seems extremely stupid to me, as he’s only a small-ish part of 1, one of the best boss-fights in 3 and just a mere mention in 4. The fact that you need to incessantly attack content creators who merely like him is stupid. Either keep those opinions to yourself, ignore them, or do my favourite -> stick ‘em up your big stupid ass.

It’s also stupid that when people merely like him - you have to bring in your own shitty opinions. No one asked you what you thought, and I’m pretty sure you’re actively seeking out fights with people just to feel good about yourself. It’s also super hypocritical of you ragging on about how much Vergil sucks, when you go crazy for Kylo Ren, as they share some similarities in terms of their vibes and traits. (Yeah - I see you asking for smutty Kylo Ren x Reader requests online.....) Why do you get pissy when people like villainous fictional characters - do your knickers

What I just want to know is what kind of personal gratification you get when you actively hate on a character, and what kind of gratification you get when just because someone disagrees with you - that you have to result using death threats, rape threats, pedophilia threats, racism, slurs, and ableism,  transphobia, alt-right rhetoric, neo-Nazi shit, pro-Trump, and homophobic comments to content creators just doin’ their own thing. Is it just to feel like the bigger man, is it to make yourself sound smarter than the other person (Cause you don’t) - like what actually motivates you, what actually makes you want to shit on other people’s parades, huh? Sounds to me like you need to get a life.

The fact that you always need to play the victim is sad and pathetic too:

- That you’re on the spectrum: - Okay, there are a lot of people who are on the spectrum here on tumblr. But they don’t use it as an excuse to justify shitty behaviour especially if it’s unitentional. as I’m sure they and the people they know are. I’m sure they apologise and try to get on with life like how NT people do. As you know - a lot of people of the spectrum feel like they’re being treated as sub-human being babies that do nothing but screech all the time, and they’re taking action to change those perceptions. Your behaviours are not helping their cause.

- That you use depression as an excuse - I’m kinda sympathetic to the whole mental health issues thing. I have them too. In fact, I am a hot mess. But I don’t use that to excuse me hurting other people with intention, and I’m sure many others don’t either. At least 1/4 or 1/3 will have some mental health issues in their life, and yeah, it sucks, and it’s common but it doesn’t make them exempt from them being called out on their shitty acts. the fact that so many people are and can be mentally ill doesn’t make you special, and it doesn’t give you a free pass to attack others.

- The fact that you try to bait people into making anti-semitic comments, so you can call them anti-semitic. Dude, that’s low. I’m pretty sure that’s gaslighting and manipulation as well. You don’t get the right to use your religion/race in that way as a defence when you’re feeling attacked so that you come off a better person. I’m friends with many jewish people, and they’d never have the gall to do that. I know that your peeople have had it rough, but you can’t use that in an argument just to prove that the other one is a piece of shit, when it is in fact you. I’m muslim, a WOC, and ancestrally speaking, from a country that your so-beloved president essentially banned their right to seek a better life in the states. For as long as I can remember - I’ve seen news about my kind being universally hated, I’ve been brought up in a post-9/11 world where for as long as I can remember that me and our kind are the enemy (so I can sympathise) - but you don’t see me and other muslims here using those petty tactics that you use, because unlike you, we’re not myopic and we know that won’t get us anywhere.

I mean, this behaviour sounds bratty and childish - so I was thinking, she’ll probably grow out of it. Then I find that you’re in you’re mid-twenties, and I think “you really haven’t grown up at all, have you?”, and honestly it just makes the behaviour worse as you are resulting to middle school/high school tactics -> especially making me block all those people, calling them sociopaths and evil bitches. This ain’t high school or Mean Girls, moron, this is a fandom. A place where people can create, share, like and comment on content that makes you happy. I don’t think you understand what that means - cause all I see, and everyone sees is you spewing hatred everywhere. Fandoms are supposed to make you feel included, feel happy, feel safe, be a place to make friends. I don’t think you know that, and I don’t think you are even smart enough to realise that you are the reason why our fandom isn’t happy.

And honestly, at this point, the hatred you are getting is well deserved. You deserve to feel like shit if all you are going to do is make others feel like shit.

I don’t know what else to say but:

1. Get the hell away from our fandom

2. Get rid of your internet connection.

3. Get a life.

4. We don’t want you here.

5. You’re scum.

6. Go suck a dick, or flick a bean, whatever gets you off you troglodyte.

I liked you man, I really did. Then I saw how you treat others, and now I know I made a dumb life choice in making friends with you. If only you weren’t such a piece of shit, we could have been good friends.

I don’t want you here on tumblr. They don’t want you here. No-one wants or needs a toxic parasite like you on this website.

Yours sincerely,

sui-senka, who just sucked Vergil’s dick yesterday, and liked it.

[dnpsuck]

once you get around to listening to lover what did you think !!! im v curious on your opinions about it heh

thank u for wanting my opinion. i thought i was gonna make it a brief review thingy but i cannot be brief for the life of me. i’m sorry. anyway,

i’mthankful it’s a long album because based on me! i knew i’d like it. not thatme! is a masterpiece or anything but it’s brighter and more fun than herprevious era which i Did Not like. i know reputation is, taylor swift history-wise, important. it’san album she did no press for and allowed the songs speak for themselves and i really like this idea and the sentiment behind it, i’m just Not A Fan of the execution. edgy taylor swift doesn’twork for me. don’t blame me slaps tho. i’ll probably compare these songs to alot of reputation, sorry.

anyway. loveris a more colorful album and probably my favorite pop album from ms. swift, i’m not good at like. Grading things so i won’t be like ‘this is a 8.5 kind of album’ cause like. i don’t know numbers? what you need to know is that it’s a good album. let’s gowith the tracks:

may i add that this is not coming from a taylor swift fan, however i have several friends who are into taylor swift so it’s hard not to get the slightest 2nd hand interest. 

i forgot that you existed: was excited as soon as it started! theproduction is lighter and less dramatic. i feel like contrary to reputationwhere she was kind of obsessed with the people who hurt her and betrayed her inthe previous years, this song is a nice way of letting go. a nicer, yet stillkind of shady, revenge by being like. Oh. You Mean Nothing To Me Anymore.

fave lyrics: “it isn’t love, it isn’thate, it’s just indifference so.. yeah.”

 cruel summer: the chorus…. amazing! i remember reallydisliking her reputation singles, especially “ready for it” because it was veryunnecessarily dark and, again – in my opinion – dark and edgy doesn’t work fortaylor swift.  BUT, rfi had that chorusthat escaped the intense beats and kind of went back a little to her 1989 eraand it’s the one thing from the song that i actually tolerated. and i feel likeall of cruel summer is song that fits the melody of the rfi chorus better thanrfi itself. does that make sense?

fave lyrics:the entire bridge but especially: “i don’twanna keep secrets just to keep you” and “i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”

lover: 11/10. fucked me the fuck up. it’s a song aboutlove that isn’t a still-too-fresh-and-uncertain love, or some angsty love. it’sjust love. she’s properly in love and is singing about it with somuch care and certainty. it’s a happy song about the one she loves and how could i hate it? bestsong in the entire album. probably my 2nd fave taylor swift song ofall time

favelyrics: “with every guitar string scar onmy hand” so much is being said in this one fucking line. i absolutelyfucking love it. the fact that this song was 100% written by her is a big plus.

the man: honestly was kinda stressed about the kind of discoursethis one could cause, especially cause of the lack of addressing the whitenessof it all but idk. this is her ownexperience so how much can we ask from her? and also in many ways this feels like 5years late but i’m not gonna complain about this. better late than never (andshe has addressed sexism in her songs before so it’s not like she’s just starting at feminism). she’s made severalpoints w this one and it sounds good. 

favelyrics: the part where she’s like “what if i was bragging about the models i’mfucking?” cause like. girl is aware of aspecific group in her fandom and i appreciate the little nod (it being real ornot)

archer: love the lyrics. this was like. the 3rdsong from this album that she released and i was So Relieved to actually SEEsongwriter taylor swift coming through. it’s a great song about self hatred andreflection, etc. but i’ve listened to it enough times to know i’m gonna be skippingthis one when i’m listening to this album. 

favelyrics: “screaming ‘who could ever leaveme darling?’ but who could stay?”

 i think he knows: the chorus and her vocals… *chef’s kiss*. loveit. cute crush song. more mature yet fun style that works for her. 

fave lyrics:all of the chorus.

miss americana: i get it, i see the politics of it all but. i’mgonna skip it. soz 

favelyrics: “my team is losing, battered andbruising i see the high fives between the bad guys”

 paper rings: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS. again, pure,happy, bubbly, unashamed love. a love bop that i adore. 

fave lyrics:“i like shiny things but i’d marry youwith paper rings / i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this”

corneliastreet: it’s a nostalgic song that i can’t decide if it’s exactly abreak-up song or not. i like to think the “sacrednew beginning / that became my religion” lyrics are a nod to her bestreputation song aka don’t blame me. i’m so-so on this one but it’s definitely notbad, don’t think i’ll be skipping it for now. 

favelyrics: “that’s the kinda heartbreak timecould never mend / (…) and baby i get mystified by how this city scream yourname”

 death by a thousand cuts: eh? it’s nice and soft and sad-ish but. idk.not right now - since the album is still pretty fresh to me - but i’ll probablystart skipping this one eventually. 

favelyrics: “you said it was a great love,one for the ages / but if the story’s over why am I still writing pages?”

 bondon boy: i am so sorry for every londoner that had tolisten to this one. i could hear it being offensive as soon as she startedsaying those words. it sounds nice and fun but jesus christ taylor. it’s likesomeone from her label said “you gottamake it clear you’re fucking that joe dude or your album won’t sell” andtaylor immediately googled ‘british slang’ and wrote this song. 

fave lyrics:“but something happened i heard himlaughing / i saw the dimples first and then i heard the accent” i’m asimple phannie. i hear the word dimples i think of dan

soon you’ll get better: bro. was not ready. you can hear thepain and fear in her voice. the chorus kind of reminds me of “never grow up”(aka my fave taylor swift song), etc. the sad, almost hopeless addition of “cause you have to” is so heartbreaking. it’sa personal and gorgeous yet sad song, and she goes back to her country roots for this one,so that’s nice. absolutely beautiful. 

fave lyrics:hard to choose but “you like the nicernurses you make the best of a bad deal / i just pretend it isn’t real / i’llpaint the kitchen neon, i’ll brighten up the sky / i know i’ll never get itthere’s not a day that i won’t try” i hate, hate, the notion ofromanticizing a sad and scary situation like this one, and i think i understandthis as less of romanticizing and more of sympathizing with, cause i’ve alsobee in this situation with my family – but because it was just a few days agothat phil revealed his father’s battle with cancer, i couldn’t help but thinkof him too and how much he must have feared for his dad while still trying to keep it together for everyone around him.

false god: love the sax. i know i will fully love thissong at some point. i know it. i’m just not there yet. i like the parts when she has torush her words. i’ll get there with this one. 

favelyrics: “they all warned us about timeslike this / they say the road gets hard and you get lost”

 you need to calm down: fun, boppy, cute. i get what shewas going for and appreciate it. it’s a more carefree pop song and i’m okaywith it. not unskippable though. 

fave lyrics:“and i ain’t tryna mess with your self expressionbut i’ve learned a lesson that stressing and obsessing bout somebody else is nofun”

 afterglow: i don’t know yet. probably one i’ll skip. notbad, i don’t think there’s a song in this album that is necessarily Bad, butthis one is just not really memorable. 

fave lyrics:don’t have one actually. soz

me!: definitely not a masterpiece BUT introduced usto this era which is probably her best pop era. i loved the absolute changefrom the reputation era, bringing back colors, bringing back fun, introducing amore politically active taylor swift, etc. i also like the idea that she knowsthat this is not her best work but she knew that if she was gonna make a catchyradio friendly pop song, she’d make one that’s about self love, etc. 

fave lyrics: i’m a simple girl, “me e e e, o o o oh”

 it’s nice to have a friend: this folk-y vibe? works? is thisfolk? sorry if im being dumb. but it has a lonely vibe, it’s kind of really sadin a way, but it’s lovely at the same time. 

fave lyrics:“something gave you the nerve / to touchmy hand”

 daylight: a song about letting go and forgiving herselffor her past mistakes and learning to focus on the good parts of her life, morespecifically her lover. like new year’s eve was to reputation, this is a nicesong to wrap this album. 

fave lyrics:“you are what you love”

[rachel-bloom]

Can I ask why you dislike Nathaniel so much? Before him I was also a HUGE grebecca shipper but Nathaniel seemed like a better match for her in Greg’s absence. And I was surprised actually once Greg came back I didn’t love him the same way I did before for some reason.

prepare for a rant because im tired of this fandom’s obsession with him 

very negative so don’t even read this if you’re a n*thaniel stan and don’t even bother to argue with me because you know i’m right

but he wasn't a better match, i don't wanna say you in particular but most of the fandom is just blinded by his good looks. like he isn't a good person? he gets a pass for everything he does bc "bohoo he had a bad childhood and his dad doesn't give a fuck about him" like who the fuck cares? i know crazy ex gf is a comedy but r/n songs are like...... weird bc he either fatshames her for comedic value which is like... gross? or the line "it wasnt technically hitler's fault hitler's brother died and that made him super sad" and rebecca is..... jewish. like thats a big yikes from me bro. 

point of their whole relationship is that it's always been about being bad and feeding into her darkness that she wanted to experience at the beginning of s3 like "hey im a bad girl im gonna ruin josh chan's life" i think point of the show is also like that all 3 relationships were never at any point healthy but people excusing nathaniel's behavior after s4 is like.... whelp

he has like....... zero personality out of his relationship with rebecca it's always just about rebecca about being with her and getting in her pants like look.. i didn't really care about him in s2/s3 sure it hurt a lot when greg left and he was right there and it was easy to transfer my love for greg onto him just because he was there and rebecca's new love interest but even now when i look back he wasn't like a good person?  i don't wanna be nitpicky and mention the smallest things but like he was willing to commit murder to have sex with her and that's like.. messed up lmao. i did start hating him hardcore in s4 though. like he literally never respected any of her wishes she says "nathaniel leave me alone we're not good together" and then he manipulates her brother (a literal minor) into giving him rebecca's diary so he could manipulate her and be like "omg look i know this and this maybe we are soulmates after all" the moment he said "everytime we're happy you try to ruin it" it was literally over for me lmao idk how yall can ship this. like 80% of the excuses r/n shippers have is that he's hot and "greg hates waterparks so he's a bad person" when we all know rebecca's mind portrayal of songs and people is not always accurate to reality.

ALSO, he's been on the show for 2 seasons and he hasn't developed for one single fucking second and then he gets ONE day dream episode and suddenly hes a changed man??????? lmao. i admit the turning maya into rebecca at the end and the "let me go" was beautiful i cried not for shipping purposes but because of how rachel acted the scene out and how heartbroken he was BUT it was literally for nothingggg lmao. the second grebecca breaks up he's all up her ass again.

i don't know how much you know about bts stuff but aline (the co-show runner or whatever she is) is OBSESSED with nathaniel it's not even funny anymore, there's been this interview but i can't find it) anyways she was so hell bent on redeeming his worthless ass that it was rushed in the final episode (i admit the zoo thing was cute but i think they only did that because it was you know ~meta~ bc of his zoo song and they had zero idea what to actually do with him bc apparentely there was lots of i don't wanna say discourse but arguments between rachel and aline when it came to what to do with his character in general)

also the BeCauSe iM nIcE noW was so fucking annoying like it wasnt even comedic anymore it was just bad writing

sorry if you like him lmao i just get really worked up about this subject

[bananonbinary]

I can very much understand why some davejade shippers might be entitled because dave was initially played as the typical cool guy so due to heteronormativity you expect him to 1) have at least one girl into him, and 2) get the girl he wants in the end, and their interactions had chemistry enough to fuel the flames. Davekat fans being entitled weirds me out more because both characters were initially very no homo and explicitly into girls (1/?)

so most people who shipped davekat did it as blackrom, often even leering into icky yaoi stereotypes and such. Dave and Karkat being soft and caring characters and having a healthy relationship was the big unexpected development of these characters so I have no idea how people got so entitled about it so fast. It’s probably a consequence of everyone trying to play hs as this apex of queer rep, which it honestly is not (2/?)             

and there’s also some defensiveness because a canon loving m/m pair like davekat is hard to find and people feel shoving jade there without showing the development was a cheap way of saying “haha yeah they love each other but of course there’s still a girl in the middle”. It’s the kind of problem you ran into when you have only one polyam relationship and only one m/m relationship, it’s gonna have a few flaws rep wise no matter what (3/?)             

  And to be clear I’m not trying to defend any ship or shipper with this, ship discourse is mostly annoying as hell, I’m just mumbling on what I think is going on, even because I suspect this whole thing was improvised because of the difference between when act 7 storyboards were made and when the last upd8s were made. Act 7 shows no indication of davekat at all and the picnic scene even implies the two being still hatefriends/rivals for Jade’s attention (5/?) 

so I think the original plan for the ending was Dave x Jade x Karkat as an het love triangle (gosh it sounds so bad) but Hussie shifted into Davekat/gay singularity mode as he finished writing the act, but by then the animation for act 7 was already under way, because animation takes way more time than panels and writing. So Hussie said screw it and got the three together. I just wish they said the word polyam at least, being vague about feels like baiting a bit. (6/6 i think i lost count sorry)            

here’s the thing: this is a fine argument for being uncomfortable with it. “i dont feel there was buildup and it felt gimmiky and like they didn’t really want to make it polyam”

sure.

but i was huge into davekat circles back in the day, and that’s NOT what most of the arguing is. It’s a huge clusterfuck of biphobic rhetoric, “smol soft boys would never like a GIRL EWWWW” fetishization, and dangerous misconceptions  about poly relationships. people aren’t mad that this relationship felt rushed or badly written, they’re mad that

a) a boy/girl/boy triad made up of explicitly bi characters (and all three characters have literally never been even implied to be gay, hell the guys got together in GO fighting over a girl) isn’t “gay enough” which is biphobic as all hell

b) that a triad is somehow more normative than a couple because the fictional world ONE of the participants is from had severely regulated relationships that aren’t really poly in spirit anyway because each person still has a strictly defined number of partners, which is just about as dumb as when people said alternia is bi-normative and therefor any bi trolls were regressive as if we dont live in a real world where these things have consequences,

c) they’re literally just Big Mad because of some dumb ship war between jadedave and davekat and didnt want to have to shake hands, and

c) the big one, that poly relationships as a concept are damaging if you have self-esteem issues like dave and karkat has, which is………Do Not Do That Pls. you could tell me jade would upset dave somehow. you could tell me karkat’s anger issues are bad for the other two. you could even tell me that karkat and jade’s personalities combined would somehow trigger daves ptsd or w/e. but don’t tell me that a poly relationship would with ANY other character would be :/ problematic actually ://///// just because you think poly people and relationships have to fit a specific stereotype. (fun fact: if u have insecurities about your partners loving you, then as a group you can like...work through that you don’t need to say poly relationships as a concept are Unhealthy for Most People)

once again, if the arguments were actually about like, the people involved or the writing or w/e, i wouldn’t care, but i remember when the credits went up and i made a silly post about how i thought davekat was included in davejadekat and like,,,,,the OUTRAGE. the fucking SHEER HATRED i suddenly received from all those people. i still find people today who obviously blocked me from that one post.

and i remember when act 7 dropped, there was fucking pandemonium. it wasn’t just people feeling like they weren’t represented, i remember Someone Who Shall Not Be Named (one of the people who blocked me lmao) getting absolutely hammered and crytyping all day just because there wasnt an explicit kiss and they werent even the worst of it. that was when i really started re-evaluating how fucking damaging it is to put literally all your stock in a ship playing out in an extremely specific way.

fast forward to like 20 minutes ago, when i saw several posts in a row resurfacing all this shitty rhetoric back in my face like its 2010 and we still are afraid of people dating more than one person. like, explicitly saying they thought a poly relationship was bad for the characters and was actually less woke than two gay boys and all that bullshit.

i don’t fuckin care about the ships. im actually pretty lukewarm about this one. but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP BEING BIPHOBIC AND POLYPHOBIC WHEN DISCUSSING THEM. A CANON TRIAD WILL NEVER EVER FUCKING BE NORMATIVE OR REGRESSIVE OR INHERENTLY ABUSIVE OR WHATEVER OTHER BULLSHIT YOU’RE THINKING. (and characters who are canonically attracted to multiple genders ending up in relationships with characters of different genders will ALSO never be fucknig normative you absolute biphobic shitheads)