#im not tagging these properly but i figured id make a tag for some of the sketches that i make even if they go absolutely nowhere

[mokadevs]

wines sketches, one from the day she came out on cn and one from the day she came out on global ( today )

[fallinallincurls]

🫶🏻 also, idk if you’re willing to do this and i understand but if you’d write a blurb w josty of him comforting his partner after losing a dog, id enjoy it bc im putting mine down this week and figuring out ways to cope :,) ily <3

emmie, i'm so sorry & sending so much love your way <3 i hope this makes you feel a little bit better

it's only been a few days, but the pain of losing your dog hasn't gotten any easier to handle. she was your best friend and had always made you smile no matter what. without her, your apartment is quieter and there's a huge gaping hole in your life that can't be filled.

tyson hated seeing you so upset and was there to say goodbye to her before offering his shoulder to cry on while supporting you in any way he possibly could. but one night when he was holding you in his arms as you slept soundly, he had an idea that he hoped would bring a smile to your face and ease some of the sadness about losing your dog.

so after practice today, he told you had had a few errands to run and he'd be home a little after lunch. with that, he got to work. after consulting both kacey, his mom and yours, the plan was set and admittedly, tyson has never been so nervous.

but when he gathered all the bags and headed up to your apartment, his worries disappeared. he knows he could've shown up empty handed and you still would be happy to see him because it lifts a weight off your shoulders. so this was just going to be a perfect surprise.

when he opens the door, he finds you reading on the couch like usual. you offer him a soft smile before getting up to greet him with a kiss. tyson's heart flutters for a moment until he notices the undeniable amount of sorrow in your pretty eyes.

"hi, babe." he murmurs, kissing your forehead which earns him another small smile.

"hi, tys. errands go well?" you ask, but then catch a glimpse of the unusually large amount of bags in his hands. "what in the world did you get?"

"your usual coffee order," he begins, handing you the coffee with a happy glint in his eyes, "everything i need to make your favorite dinner and dessert later, and this." tyson pauses, gently placing the grocery bags on the counter before presenting the white box shaped like a house.

"you went to build-a-bear?" the question is full of laughter and confusion, but tyson just nods in response.

"i did. open it." he encourages you. you meet his gaze and then carefully begin opening the cardboard box. you have no idea what he's up to, but you go along with it anyway out of curiosity and it's obvious that tyson put a lot of thought into this.

inside is a stuffed animal puppy with a heart shaped name tag around its neck that looks almost exactly like your dog. the name tag even has your dog's name on it.

"ohmygod, tys," you whisper, holding the stuffed puppy in your hands so delicately. tears immediately well up in your eyes and you don't waste any time giving him the tightest hug ever. "you didn't have to do this, but thank you so much."

"i'd do anything for you, baby. and i know how hard it's been without her so i thought this might help. but there's something else." he explains, voice thick with emotion as he holds you close and presses a kiss to the top of your head. he squeezes the stuffed puppy just slightly and the familiar bark of your dog fills the room which only makes the tears start to fall. "i asked your mom for a recording of her happy bark as you always called it. so you always have a piece of her."

you can't think of any words that would be enough to properly thank him so you just hug him again, mumbling "i love you's" into his chest. he's the kindest boy you've ever known and the fact that he loves you will forever be your biggest blessing.

[multifandom-brainrot]

Uhh hey!! so erm. I don't really make posts like this, thisll be my first time doing so but i could use some advice. Nothing major i just wanna tag my stuff properly, if anyone is in the sfw tickle community and likes off (and/or makes content of it) i would appreciate help with what tag to use, if any at all, kinda like how i use "mc tickling" or "tmc tickles" i'd feel a little silly being the only one uploading to a certain tag and am also too embarrassed to go seek it out myself to verify its existence, any help is appreciated. the main reason im asking is bc a friend of mine sent in a request and idk how im gonna tag it when i finish it. if need be i will make my own dang tag myself but i figured id ask first HEEHJGE (not putting the fandom tag, idk if thatll make a difference but still)

[sparatus]

update of some flavor

so ik ive been kinda in and out absent a bit, no tag games no asks no posts that i said id make and then forgot only vibing with occasionally remembering to be social, so figured id pop in with an explanation.

short version:

[img: gif of two men on opposite sides of a waterfall, one is singing "AGONY! beyond power of speech!"]

long version:

[CW dental stuff]

around the end of july, i started. let's say Being Aware of a specific tooth in my skull. unfortunately i experience dental pain as a symptom of pms (because that's a fucking possible thing apparently. kill me.) so i brushed it off, but it didn't go away, so i called my dentist. from there,

between the thursday when i recognized the pain and the following sunday when i made the call, the pain grew from an occasional twinge to a constant, intense pain. my gums were inflamed and rubbing my nose hurt very badly.

the dentist confirmed the tooth was infected and needed a root canal. i was prescribed antibiotics and the appointment made for mid-august, as i already had an existing appointment for cavity fillings the week before and she didn't want to distress my mouth too much at once.

me and my amoxicillin against the world for a week. it worked very well, no notes.

got cavities filled, then went in for the root canal. still in pain around my mouth due to tooth being mad at me.

root canal went perfectly, temporary crown installed. due to the size of the cavity that started the mess my dentist wanted to do the full canal + crown procedure in one go to protect my tooth. there was still some infection present, so i was prescribed more antibiotics to make sure nothing spread to the surrounding bone.

still some pain. figured out bite was off from fillings and i just assumed it was residual from the root canal. got that fixed when i went in for the permanent crown on august 30.

permanent crown was made wrong. sent it back to be remade, temp put back in.

able to eat comfortably again after bite adjustment but STILL in pain, specifically at the very back of my mouth deep in the bone

guess what. fucking guess.

dentist confirmed wisdom teeth are coming in and need to be extracted.

as of tuesday i have my permanent crown (made properly this time!), and my appointment with the maxillofacial surgeon is on the 22nd. im hoping he's going to do the consultation and the extraction in one fell swoop, because oh my god im in so much pain please take them out please please please im dying

so. that's why ive been a bit absent as of late. my face bones are exploding and it's stealing all my spoons. sorry lads

[apple-os]

okay some of the tags got cut off because i was going on too much but long story short i wanted ppl to talk about themselves and the way i do that is by talking about myself because i also expect that to just be the norm

and i am not going to change that for people who didnt even care to properly get to know who i am outside of joking and vidya gamez

communication is important and if u hide things from someone and expect them to know theyve hurt people despite everyone pretending everythings fine then thats on you

short story long tho ,,

ive said it here im autistic i cant always tell the vibe in places im unfamiliar with. got strong vibes of "i hate but like u" friendships in this one server. turned out to not be showing good enough vibes and fitting in well enough. because i was masking a little too heavily and not thinking about what i was saying before i said it

thought things were fine and dandy because im largely oblivious to a lot of things unless people tell me. i just figured folkz were fine with me talking about things i enjoyed or loved and myself because thats what most people tended to do when they wanted to be friends as...far as i knew

but here we are and ive been called pretentious for talking too much about myself and my girlfriend despite never having expressed that i wanted everything to be about me, quite the opposite in fact

my girlfriend whom ive been in love with for about a year now and only just became an item with so you can imagine why i talked about her a lot after everything thats happened between us

i never said nobody else could talk about themselves!! i got a little offended over a dumb joke once mainly because ive heard it so many times!! i talked about my country and its history and some culture and apparently people didnt like that either!! i made some kind of stupid jokes i wouldnt usually make in any other situation, like oh yes im a misogynist and oh yes i am definitely a transphobe when i am trans, and i have a girlfriend who i love very much!! said girlfriend is upset shes been spoken for, might i add

no i do not hate women! by god, NO, I AM NOT S/PERSTR/IGHT. im just a dumb obnoxious dude who is loud and talkative and tries to be approachable and occasionally fit in when they can

i can imagine this is more of a miscommunication than malice on some people's part, but i also am very mad that i wasn't even heard out before being called pretentious and being told i talk too much about somebody i love not to mention one of my friends was sidelined when trying to reason with the person who lashed out at me

i like talking about my gf,, so what? you know u can talk about your partner too yknow id love to hear it or i wouldve if not for the fact that u shut me down when i dont even know u and i thought we were bantering because u called ur friends and urself sigma for making sex jokes around minors as a minor urself but i also yknow wanted to express that i didnt like that in some way, which is one of the only issues i had with all of u up until this point i thought it would be funny and silly to say i didnt care if u folks were sigma. which sounds really silly put like that but anyway, i didnt express it was a joke well enough apparently and that led to the outburst

in some ways i can understand why the anger was there, but i cant understand why it was left to simmer for so long, nor can i really understand the need to trashtalk me behind my back [which im fairly certain was happening the way 2 ppl described me in the same ways and other reasons]

wont pretend im not at fault in some capacity. i shouldve used my head [and tonetags] when talking to others. but um. the communication error was the main problem and was largely not my fault so ,, idk what to say on that other than maybe set boundaries when you make friends next time ? anyway yeah thats all rant over

ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni

[inyoursheets]

i got tagged by the kind @bourbon-ontherocks​ to do the language tag game thingy so let’s goooo

below the cut bc my english language journey has many twists and turns (jk im just a wordy person) (in writing) (as you may know by now)

How many languages do you speak?

two bc im an embarrassment to all my high school modern language teachers. so just dutch and english im afraid

What’s your native language?

my first language is dutch

Which language you’re most comfortable with?

it’s unnerving as hell but............it’s increasingly becoming english? youd think dutch would be the answer and it is in some ways, but considering most of my degree was in english, i genuinely struggle to express myself in dutch more when speaking on topics related to my field. so basically whenever someone tries to debate me im like !! i know but i dont know how to say this in dutch !! aah !! help !!! many thoughts, zero coherent sentences

the only reason im less comfortable w english is when speaking, mostly bc of my pronunciation. speaking english is something i do considerably less compared to reading, writing, and listening in/to english, especially now that im done w my studies.

also! i notice that while i understand the meaning of english words, sometimes when i deliberately literally translate them in my head (a much slower process than the intuitive way i normally speak/listen to english) the meaning hits me more? like, it sinks in a little more, it lands closer to home? english not being my first language means it creates some emotional distance from what im talking about.

so, i now sometimes try to deliberately seek out books and articles in dutch on important topics, bc that way i take in more of the depth of meaning and i feel addressed more directly on an intuitive level. does that make sense? for example, reading about racism and white privilege in english gives me a little more distance from the subject tho it shouldn’t, by virtue of it being in a language that is not the one i was raised with. so especially topics relating to (my) societal privileges, i try to also engage with in dutch, and not just in english. im not gonna stop learning about them in english, there’s a fuckton more information out there on any topic, really, in english, and so many people i learn so much from speak english. but i gotta keep reminding myself to also consume dutch articles/books/etc., especially when it’s very important that i really hear what’s being said

Where or how did you learn English?

formally? i started in primary school and then all of high school (we dont have middle school here, fyi). but really, what helped the most was reading books and watching tv shows and films in english.

first, id read the dutch translation of a book. then id read the english version, already knowing the story. then slowly i got to a point where i didnt need to already know the book before being able to read it in english.

same with tv and film -- first id watch dubbed versions of tv shows, which is common practice in the netherlands with shows aimed at a young audience (that’s the extent of it as far as i can tell - other than kids’ movies, films in the cinema are not dubbed). then i got to a point where i could watch those same shows in english with dutch subtitles (shows airing earlier in the day would be the dubbed version, and in the evening theyd be subbed). then i got to a point where i could watch shows that aren’t dubbed in the first place, with dutch subtitles. then i got to the stage where i watched shows with english subtitles. and now i forget subtitles exist and only watch things in english. the only time i’ll turn on (english) subtitles is if there are people whose accents i find more difficult to understand.

i think consuming media in english in these stages (which took years! slow process! happened alongside of high school english classes!) is what helped me learn english the most, next to formal training. that’s really how my vocab improved and how it keeps improving, i guess. tho the amount of times i encounter a word i dont know the meaning of has significantly lessened

(also what helped is living in sweden and in the uk for a few months. no choice but communicating in english. and like i said, most of degree was in english so i had to read and write in english like every day. in conclusion: being surrounded with english on a daily basis is why im at this level, not just from watching hannah montana)

When outlining a fic, which language are you thinking in?

ok so i dont really outline fics ??? it’s more like. a few bullet points of vague ideas (in english) and then i start. but if i were to finally get my shit together and actually properly outline, id do so in english

When planning a fic, which language are you thinking in?

yeah also in english

Is the first draft in your native language, or is it in English?

also english. it wouldnt even occur to me to draft or outline in dutch. i might if the show itself was in dutch but since it’s in english....ok wait no i wouldnt, im far too lazy to translate a whole draft and i commend people that do!

What do you [think] of your English?

ummmmm well. i think i could improve on the speaking front and that my pronunciation leaves a lot to be desired. and i think i could stand to be a little less arrogant sometimes bc i tend to think i know meanings of words but sometimes i dont know the exact nuance of a word or all of its meanings. so if i were a little less cocky about the whole ordeal id probably improve more. annnnd bc these days i learn most new words on online, i should be more proactive about figuring out where terms originate from and pay attention to whether a word or a phrase is okay for me to use or not (like not appropriating AAVE).

other than that i think my english is fine. and i think that me thinking in english more often than in dutch means im what dutch people talk about when they say dutch is dying out lmaoooo you’re WELCOME

im tagging................. ok im actually not even sure who in this fandom doesnt have english as a first language? so im just gonna tag fic writers and hope they speak multiple languages. like my wife @mrslackles (i should know this about my wife! sorry!) or @bethsuglywigs ?? @septiembur ??? @riosnecktattoo ???? somebody pls send help. ok you know what im just gonna double tag @bathroombreaks and @missmaxime

also whether i accurately tagged you or not, no pressure. also if you’re reading this and english isnt your first language, TAG YOU’RE IT

[jemmo]

‘get to know me’ tag game

rules: answer the questions and tag people you’d like to get to know better.

i was tagged by @ena-noya11 and yes this is old but ive been busy with uni and am not gonna miss a chance to rant about myself. but i wont tag anyone, just if you see this do it bc wtf not???

What do you perfer to be called name-wise?

jess, always jess. i cant remember the last time anyone called me jessica. although some people do call me moon which is cute

When is your birthday?

september 23rd

Where do you live?

im as british as they come

Three things you are doing right now:

let me see...im procrastinating from doing my dry lab work bc i cant go back into labs, im listening to my lovely new side m boys (rn its infinite possibilities by s.e.m, who lowkey may be my faves) and im knitting a jumper

Four fandoms that have piqued your interest?

1. atm defo hypmic. cant wait for the 3rd drb release to drop, in need hq black journey

2. also defo defo sk8 i really cant get enough of these skateboard gays, and ive ventured into ao3 and i dont regret it at all 

3. again, idolmaster side m (can you tell i like the 2d idols) i just binged the anime after finishing a uni project and the music is absolute fire i would sell my soul for all of them

4. i hate to say it but the promised neverland, bc the first season was so good and now ive picked up the manga, and personally every single situation ive headcannoned is better than what this season is giving me

How has the pandemic been treating you?

idk really?? like day to day it doesn’t feel that bad, but i feel like it isn’t helping me at all. this is my 4th year of uni which was supposed to be very lab heavy which hasn’t happened, and being away has really dropped my confidence in being able to actually do science. and as a shy person it’s just giving me an excuse to be distant and keep to myself which isn’t good bc i know i need to make an effort to be social. but at least ive been able to spend lots of time with my family which is great bc 3 years of uni has really taught me how much i miss them when im away

but it gave me the perfect opportunity to get into anime which is great bc as a person that in the past hyperfixates and jumps between fandoms, something tells me this is gonna stick

A song you can’t stop listening to right now?

KAIGEN by badass temple. no joke it slaps. as of rn i want them to win the drb, just bc of how hard that song goes

How old are you?

22. fuck im 22, 23 this year. it feels like i only just turned 18, how am i supposed to be an adult now

School, univerisity, occupation, other?

uni, im in my 4th masters year doing biochem (and genetics), although all im studying this year is plants plants plants 

Do you prefer heat or cold?

cold. defo cold. i dont mind the summer but ever since i got heatstroke a couple of years ago in a very very hot paris, ive been scarred

Name one fact others may not know about you.

i love love love watching costube, it is my gig. id love to be able to sew properly and make my own clothes

Are you shy?

definately. unless you are my family, i dont know how to act around you

Pronouns?

she/her

Biggest pet peeves?

people just not being concious of the fact that the world exists kinda?? like people that are just too preocupied with themselves. like its not that hard to just do a helpful job for someone. and you can be completely selfish about it, bc itll make you feel good to help someone else. just be nice.

What is your favorite “dere” type?

lol lowkey i love a bakadere, but only if theyre done well

Rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be.

probably 8, maybe even a 9. i have the best family, and im doing well at uni. i can just hang out, watch anime, do some work, do some crochet or knitting. i have lots of stuff to so and that i want to do which always feels great. but im also right at that turning point where im about to leave uni and have to figure out what my life is gonna be like which is terrifying, and im also at that point where i feel like my entire life revolves around uni work which kinda sucks bc theres other stuff i want to do, like learn to sew, or learn a language, that i just dont have time for. but honestly, i wouldnt have it any other way

What’s your main blog?

youre on it

List your side blogs and what they’re used for.

none. i dont have time or the mental capacity to cope with side blogs. this is just the mess of content and stream of concious rants you get

Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

i SUCK at communicating. like i actively dislike communicating unless it is a 1 on 1 face to face conversation. so if i dont message you, it doesnt mean i hate you. i just suck at keeping in contact with people, and am working on it. so please just talk to me, bc ill never not want to talk

lol if you got to the end thanks and see ya 

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

March Update Post

figures i should do another one of these.... tho this is mostly an update on the current status of my translations since i don’t intend to post much in terms of translations (3) this month since i’ve gotten around to my video backlog and will be stocking up on translations...

As i’ve stated before, i do multiple things at once cuz my head works that way, though this list will not include any SSL game content since that’s something I’ve already committed into doing plus my progress is a lot faster on those since my focus is kinda divided at 65% for ssl cross and daily stories, with 35% towards everything else. 

My current (mostly estimated) progress for the following is at: 

Hakuoki Kaze no Fumi Shogunate Dogs and Puppies [ 薄桜鬼 真改 風ノ章 ebten特典ドラマCD 「幕府の犬と子犬」 ]- 45% done (going to update this cd as a goal for my non-existent patreon unless someone sends me the audio for it on the off-chance i get donations or anything since the cd is usually costs between 2500 and 3000 yen on suruga-ya/yahoo auctions and im not willing to spend more money on cds (i think im going to start saving for ginsei no shou stuff).... plus that doesnt account for overseas shipping and other payment fees lol though id cover the bill for that. *sigh*)

Hakuoki Tsukikage no Shou - Kazama Chikage Final Chapter - 33% done

SSL Hakuo Gakuen Student General Assembly Track 3 - 25% someone uploaded this with Chinese subtitles so I’ll be able to finally translate that part where Shiranui talks with Kazama and Amagiri in the background.... huzzah lol

Hakuoki Girls fest live drama with saito, souji and kazama 10% (what I was referring to as “unknown drama”

Hakuoki otomate party 2013 drama 12%

Hana no Shou Stallaworth after story (renaming these to “after stories”. these are the ones that came from the book with Chizuru, Souji and Hijikata on it that i’ve already translated the stories for saito, yamazaki, hijikata and kazama for.) for Harada 10% 

Hakuoki ???? 28.57% (actually calculated this... tho im going to refrain from listing the name cuz im feeling mean lol. its an ssl “hakuoki other translation” tho)

Nightshade Stellaworth Kuroyuki Cd 20%

New shortlist of shortlisted stuff I still really want done:

Hana no Shou Stellaworth after stories for Souji, and Heisuke

Web drama 8 with souji and saito

Shinsengumi Oni-tan (still havent started transferring words from images from track 2 onward into text format)

character monologues

kyoka-roku rain scenario stories

kyoka-roku character cg perspectives

zuisouroku character cg perspectives

hijikata biyori track 13 and 14

otomate party 2015 psychedlica of the black butterfly drama

Anything no longer on my shortlist is still something that I intend to get to eventually tho if it’s no longer here, that means it will be done waaaay later... 

Currently, I have more than 100 different ‘tabs’ in nimble writer for Chinese Hakuoki content (it’s actually waaaaaay more than that in NW but i don’t feel like counting what isn’t right now since that’s a hassle to do), with the majority of them containing at least one hakuoki article/drama/short story though i have several tabs that contain multiple tracks [for dramas only] or multiple segments for print media or game content [really only ssl and yuugiroku 3 for that tho].... and i still haven’t counted the video content ive saved with chinese subtitles, the stuff i have saved as images or the stuff i haven’t bothered saving to my comp T_T......). also i didn’t know that the nightshade b’s logs stories were already translated and on their steam’s news page (which i’ve never checked in my life) so i’ll refrain from doing more of them.... *sigh* i apparently am not good at finding things on tumblr though in my defence i couldn’t find it under hyakka hyakurou though i did give up searching the nightshade tag after seeing too many plants.

oh and I’m probably going to start including images of the cds im missing audio for into some my posts more regularly cuz i really don’t think anyone looks at my lookout list... should probably say that i have no ETA on anything listed above since my current focus is on the ssl game content which i wanna finish asap.... i think i got 48 short stories to finish translating for that. or something? not sure if that’s an accurate number since im not sure if i counted everything properly. w/e lol. 

as a super long term goal i want 36 hakuoki things done so i have content to post for a year (min of 3 things per month as a goal lol.... ) to do whatever the hell i want on the side at a super slow pace or to finish all the relatively short stuff so i have a legitimate excuse to cut back and take my damn time since theres no way in hell i can translate a 30-60 min drama quickly lol. xD. 

Also, if anyone happens to want to translate Hakuoki stuff, or pay someone else to get translations commissioned, you can ask me for copies of the audio cds listed on my “stuff i have” page.... though I’m willing to trade for cds i don’t own if you don’t intend to do any of that.

ground rules for cds: 1) you cannot ask me anonymously, 2) do not share audio if you’re only publishing translation as text (meaning if you chose not to make a video), 3) if translations are made but are not posted publicly, send me a copy since I want them for my own entertainment (I will respect anyone’s wishes if they don’t want something shared or published online), 4) acknowledge that I may not share something if I am in the process of already translating it... that I might just be procrastinating since i haven’t ripped 99% of everything on that list, or might decide to send tracks one at a time due to other external reasons... also i don’t actually know which cds have dramas on them.

[reeree1500]

The Return- Part 2

Okay y'all so here is part 2 of the Return Series. In this one I decided to give you guys a little of what is going through Bjorn’s head upon meeting (y/n) for the first time in 6 years. And a little side of him that we don't really get to see very often. Ivar s introduced, but nothing really happens yet. Hope you guys like itttt :) Lemme know if y'all wanna be tagged too:)

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 part 8 part 9 Part 10 

Taglist : @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24

Disclaimer: My sucky ass writing; and thank God for my mutuals without y'all Id be going nuts right now. Especially @yanii-the-hippie :)

Bjorn POV

I can't find the words to describe how I'm feeling in this moment. My sister who I've thought was dead for the last 6 years is actually alive... Looking at her stunned face that most probably mirrors mine, I can’t help, but be a pile of different emotions that I cant grasp onto, all except one. 

Disappointment in myself. Not only because I wasn't there for her when she needed me, but because I missed all the signs of whatever she had been going through. For years I’ve thought about what it would be like to see her again and asked myself what if she had never left? What could have become of us and our family? What could I have done differently...

 I reach down to help her up and all I can do is look into her eyes, looking for some sign that this is just Loki playing around with me. “(Y/N), It really is you.” In a matter of milliseconds, I pull her towards my chest and hug her as if she would disappear again if I let go. “I’ve missed you so much... My whole world came crashing down when you left. It was like losing apart of myself all over again. Just like when Gyda died.” I managed to murmur against her ear through the tears that were threatening to spill.

A muffled I’m sorry comes out from her lips. Thats when I realize that we’re both crying in the middle of the street and people are starting to form a crowd around us. “Let’s go to my cabin, you have a lot of explaining to do (y/n) Lothbrok.” Grasping both (y/n) and her friends hands, I push past the people in the marketplace making my way through the crowds gathering for the feast later tonight. “You know sister, you’ve always had impeccable timing for things. However, coming back from the dead 6 years after we had all thought you were gone, is some next level shit.” (I’ve never been a person to take things really seriously, so I always find myself trying make a joke of things as my coping mechanism. Sometimes I’ll just say things in the worst moments because I cant handle it. This would certainly be one of those times.) 

“To be honest with you Bjorn, Im not sure if I did the right thing by coming back...” (Y/N) whispers as we reach the cabin steps. At that moment something came over me and I snapped. But before I got the chance to yell at her, I pushed them both inside and shut the door behind me. With my head against the door and my back turned to them both I couldn't contain my anger any longer. “Why would you say that (Y/N), don't you know the hurt and anger that not only mother and father suffered, but that I did too when you left!” “You didn't have to leave! You had me! Im your brother, for Odin’s sake. My job was to protect you!” at this point I could careless if she saw me cry. Too much had happened in my life, and with (y/n) I could always be myself and let go. Sure I tortured her when we were little, but at the end of the day she's still the only sister I have left, and most of all my rock. 

“Bjorn, I never meant to hurt any of you. But, I was in danger. And before you interrupt me and say that you could've protected me. You couldn't have. This was bigger than you and father.” she said whilst wrapping her arms around my torso. Once we both calm down and I properly introduce myself to her friend Mira, (y/n) holds my head in both hands and looks into my eyes. “I came to find answers brother, and I promise you that this time no one will separate us or our family. In that, you have my word.” 

“Now let me tell you what truly happened that night 6 years ago...”

-------------------------------

Your POV

After telling Bjorn all that occurred that night and seeing him breakdown in front of me multiple times, I knew that whatever this secret was, it wasn't hurting only me, but those I cared about the most. Bjorn had told me that things had changed drastically after I left. Especially with mother and father. Our once happy family that lived on that beautiful farm, was now separated. I had to figure things out, not only will I stay to find the truth about what happened that night, but I will get my family back together.

-------------------------------

As the sun went down, the laughter and joyous screams of the people got louder. Through the windows in my brothers cabin I could see a crowd gathering outside the great hall. From what Bjorn told me, father was king of Kattegat and he had been even before I was born, making me a princess here too. I told Bjorn where I had gone to, and how I stayed with Uncle Rollo for the last couple of years. In Frankia, I’m a princess because Uncle Rollo deemed it so. He and Gisela have yet to produce an heir, so my uncle decided to name me as his heir till he was able to produce one, which then in turn I will hand over my title, but still keep some of the land. 

“The feast is just about to start and as prince and hopefully next in line to the throne, I have to make an appearance.” Bjorn says as he sits down by the table drinking some ale. “Bjorn, you're the only male heir to our family, of course you’ll be next in line.” I say as I chug back some of it back. “Well (y/n), you see...” Before he could finish his sentence the sound of a horn caught our attention. “What’s the horn for?” Mira asks from where she sits next to the fireplace. “Its to let the people of Kattegat know that tonight we feast and tomorrow were off to raid.” Bjorn says while getting up from his seat. “Its also an indication that we all need to be there. Now.” 

“Bjorn, Im not even properly dressed for a feast for God’s sake.” I tell him frantically, but in reality I just don't feel like I can face my father after all this time. “(Y/n), I’m your brother. I know that you're just scared, of what will happen. But you're here to find the truth, and I will help you every step of the way, but you have to find the courage to face this. Okay?” Bjorn says while grasping both of my hands in his. “That still doesn't solve the issue that we both don't have anything to wear for the feast. My lord.” Mira murmurs from beside me. “Mira, Bjorn is fine, Im not really into formalities. And as for the dresses here I have some. Don't ask I’ll explain later.”

------------------------------------

“Now Bjorn, Im not gonna ask you now why you have these dresses laying around in your home, but I will later.” I say as we make our way through the crowds and into a small space in the corner of the great hall. “You know sister, one thing I haven't missed about you is your sassiness and how annoying you could be.” Bjorn says as I roll my eyes at him. “You're just mad you're little friend Mira couldn't be here, cuz she said they were ‘too revealing’, whatever that means.” Its true, Mira had felt uncomfortable to be surrounded by men whilst wearing that thin piece of cloth that is considered a dress here. Christians are more conservative, I on the other hand don't mind wearing the dresses as I grew up around the culture here so to me they don't seem too revealing. 

“You cant blame the girl, she's Christian.” I whisper back to him. “So are you and you don't have a problem.” “Because brother, Im a viking too.” at that Bjorn scoffs. Before Im able to say something to him a loud echo can be heard in the great hall. Bjorn moves us a little closer so we are able to see what's happening, but without being noticed. Through the doors  appear 4 young men. You can tell that these men must be of some importance as the room goes silent. In turn a lady with kohl around her eyes comes next and sits on the one of the chairs in the middle. The people in the hall resume their drinking and games. It is then when I notice my dear brother walking away from me and towards the 4 young men. “Bjorn, what are you doing, you idiot!” I say to him whilst trying to get to where he is.

“Its okay, just come here. I have some people you should meet.” he says all but too casually. “Bjorn, no. You know what Im leaving.” As I turn to leave Bjorn’s hand shoot out to grasp onto mine and pull me towards the table with the young men. “Well if it isn't Bjorn Ironside. To what do we owe this unpleasant surprise.” the young and dark haired one says. “Its really unpleasant to see you too Ivar.” In this moment I notice a darkness wash over this mans face, expecting him to stand up and throw something I take a step back and thats when I noticed the metal that has his leg. This man is a cripple. But, something tells me that he is someone to look out for. Whether it be out of fear or intrigue I do not know. 

“Now, now Ivar calm yourself. Bjorn obviously has some company and it would be rude to not introduce ourselves.” This one seems to be very confident in himself. If it weren't for the chicken in his hand I might've actually thought that he was cute. “Im Hvitserk, pleasure to meet you....” “(y/n), it’s a pleasure to meet you as well.” 

“I never pegged you for one to like Christian girls Bjorn?” says Hvitserk. “ Hn... whatever.” As Bjorn continues his conversation with Hvitserk, I introduce myself to Ubbe, who looks really similar to Bjorn in some ways. And Sigurd, he seems shy. As soon as he said hello, just as quick he got up and left. I guess he's not one to party. As I find myself in conversation with Ubbe, I cant seem to shake the feeling that Im being stared at. And Im right, Ivar who seems to be the youngest of them all, keeps staring at me. Theres no emotion in his face, so it feels as if he is studying my every move. “So, Bjorn how was the Mediterranean?” the woman to the right of Ubbe says. “It was fine. No need to pretend you actually care.” Bjorn says whilst glaring holes through her. 

“Bjorn!! Don't be rude, she's just asking you a question.” I say glaring back at him. “If you knew who she was, you wouldn't be so quick to defend her (y/n).” And with that Bjorn gets up and just as Im about to take a bite from the freshly baked bread he grabs my arm and rushes me across the room. In the midst of telling Bjorn off for his rude behaviour. The room goes quiet. We both turn to see what the cause of the stillness was. And there he was. My father, Ragnar Lothbrok, entering the room with what seemed to be two friends or allies of his. I turn my gaze to the ground as to not make eye contact. But as God would have it, the first person he sees would be my brother. 

“Well, it seems my son has returned.” at that the room bursts with loud chanting appreciating that Bjorn has come home safe. “And with whom might I ask.” In that moment I felt as if I could not breathe, and I couldn't haven't been more grateful to the fact that my brother was with me. Bjorn leaned down and whispered. “All will be alright, Im here for you. I always have been and I always will be. No matter what.” 

In that moment, staring into the reassuring eyes of my brother. I turn to face the man who had been my strength and biggest support throughout my life. The jug of ale in my fathers hand drops. At that, the room stills. And it feels as if all eyes are now on us. His name comes out from my lips in a barely audible tone. “Papa...” at that the tears we were both holding fall down our faces. My father rushes from the other side of the room to where I’m standing and embraces me. “How is this possible, you were taken from me. I thought I lost you like I did your sister.” My father pulls back from the embrace to study my face just like Bjorn had. “Bjorn, tell me this isn't a dream, that she's really come back to us.” “ it's not a dream father, she's really back.” 

My father wipes my tears away and pulls me to the centre of the room. “People of Kattegat, 6 years ago, I lost my youngest child. But, now by the grace of Odin and Freyja, she has been brought back to me. Tonight we not only celebrate the start of Spring and our raids. But, the fact that my children have been brought back to me safe! Skal!” at that everyone’s horns are raised. 

In this moment my eyes lock with Ivar’s and in that instant I knew that the road ahead would be long. It would hold many obstacles, but somehow I had a feeling he would make them go away....

[theshapeshifter100]

Guess What? I’m Not a Robot Ch42

Summary: Jericho and Android Allies talk, and Paul actually gets annoyed.

Chapter warnings: mentions of being shot, some strong language

Word Count: 1,588

11PM Monday 15th November 2038

The small space didn’t actually have that many chairs. Allison didn’t give a damn and sat down in one, while the rest of the humans either felt too awkward or just decided not to bother.

“Okay, er,” for once Alex sounded a little unsure. “Megan has a lot of the numbers written down, and is usually our note taker. Megan, are you...” Alex trailed off as they realised that Megan had already made herself comfortable. She sat propped against the wall using her knees as a table. Her sling was tucked against her chest and she scribbled out a title with her right hand. “... Are you good to go?”

Megan clicked the pen a couple of times and nodded, sending a thumbs up to the group around the pen. All without looking up.

Alex looked at Paul for a second, who nodded and shrugged. This wasn’t exactly surprising.

“Ooookay,” Alex turned back to the main group. “What would you like to start with?”

“We’ve been out of the loop for a few days,” Markus admitted, “can you tell us about the outside world?”

“Yeah, President Warren’s been hiding behind Congress as they try and figure things out. Not much has happened yet, although there has been word of an anti android protest being planned in Washington next week.”

“We’re so crashing it,” Allison smirked.

“Do you have the numbers for that?” Markus asked, concerned. “Connor told me there was only a few of you.”

“Megan, numbers?” Alex prompted, and Megan complied, staring resolutely at her pad of paper.

“Several thousand people responded to the anti android post across the country, which isn’t that many really if we compare to the total US population. Currently Android Allies has three chapters. Detroit has ten, California has ninety and thirty in Alabama. We’ve gathered some in the Phoenix and general Arizona area, but no official count yet. There’s some international support from Europe, but they have so far been silent.”

“So, not enough to crash a protest,” Markus summarised.

“We can counter protest,” Ivy suggested. “We just need to get it online and spread the word.”

“And you think that’ll work?” North asked, part curious, part incredulous.

“Never know until we try,” Alex responded. “Plus, we usually get good turnouts from random people walking by.”

“This protest wouldn’t happen to be scheduled for when we’re supposed to send an emissary to the White House?” Markus asked.

“No idea, when are you going?”

“In a few days time.”

“Okay, the protest isn’t until next week. Guess that isn’t public knowledge.”

“Apparently not,” Markus shifted for a second. “I was hoping to ask about a potential partnership between our two groups. I hadn’t expected you to all be, so young.”

“If it helps, Julia isn’t in school anymore.”

“Noted,” Markus filed that away.

“I don’t know,” Julia carefully opposed. “My uncle’s a Detroit Police Captain, it might reflect badly on him.”

“Nothing is set in stone,” Markus assured. “That’s what this meeting is for.”

They all continued to talk, and Megan continued to take notes. After some debate, it was decided that Alex would be the more public face of Android Allies, as they could handle attention better. Everyone else was welcome at Jericho and to fill in if need be. Megan would continue her role as note taker, even if it wasn’t entirely necessary, it was good for both sides to have a copy of events.

“Paul,” Markus came to him. “How would you feel being a go between with our two groups?”

Paul froze in place and Megan glanced at him. He wasn’t happy, in fact, he looked close to panicking.

“Ride the shitstorm,” she mumbled, intending for only Paul to hear. With her pen she began to tap a steady rhythm and Paul began to calm down. None of this had gone unmissed by North and Connor, both of whom were looking at Paul and Megan. Connor had an expression of confusion initially before it cleared, and North looked suspicious.

“I, I suppose that makes sense,” Paul unfroze. “I am the only android in the Detroit chapter and would I be correct in assuming that everyone downstairs would be more comfortable with an android?”

“You would be,” Markus agreed.

“I see, then I should accept.”

“We’re not forcing you,” Josh added. “If you really don’t want to do it, then that’s fine.”

“No, it makes sense for me to do it.”

“Very well,” Markus logged that away faster than Megan could write it. “I think this concludes most of what I wanted to talk about with you today.”

“Cool!” Allison stood up. “Anything else you need from us?”

“I would like to speak with Paul alone,” Markus stated, and Paul instantly looked at Megan, who had frozen for a split second before continuing to pack up. Without a word he held out his hand to help her up, and she took it.

“Thanks,” she murmured, still not looking at the other assembled androids.

“You okay with that Paul?” Alex asked, not sure if Paul had been paying attention.

“Yes, I was just helping the injured to their feet.”

“My legs work just fine,” Megan muttered.

“Then why did you accept my help?”

Megan mock scowled at him, both understanding that other side was messing around. “I’ll see you outside you big goof.”

“Don’t wait up,” Paul said, pausing at a soft squeal emanating from Alex. “Do you have to ship right now?”

“I ship all the time,” Alex had their hands clasped together in glee. “Anyway, let’s wait outside guys,” Alex waved everyone out and closed the door behind them. They all took seats at various heights on the stairs, Megan being closest to the door.

Inside North turned to Paul.

“So, what is your deal with these humans?” she asked.

“Deal?” Paul was confused. “There’s no deal.”

“Then why do you stay with them?”

“What North means,” Markus interrupted. “Is that you’re clearly a deviant, and have no reason to tie yourself to humans, but you still do.”

“And you want to know why,” Paul finished, falling into thought. “It is difficult to explain,” it wasn’t really, but he wasn’t sure if he could properly put it into words.

“Please try,” Markus prompted.

“I’m only really here because of Megan. We, understand each other, support each other. She needs me, and I need her.”

North didn’t look convinced. “What’s she got on you?”

“That I’m scared of dogs,” Paul smirked to make it clear that was a joke.

“So, you stay together out of mutual respect and need?” Markus tried to sum up.

“More or less. I’ll admit it is a little one sided, but Megan is the reason I’m a deviant.”

“What did she do to you?” North asked.

“It’s more what she nearly did to herself. After a period of decent mental health she began to spiral rapidly and turned to self harm. I panicked and stopped her, afraid that she might take her own life.”

“You still don’t owe her anything,” North retorted. “If anything, she owes you!”

Paul was started to get annoyed by her. “Did you see that her left arm was in a sling?”

“Yes, what does that-?”

“That’s from a gunshot wound at point blank range. Originally meant for me,” Paul was glaring at North now. “She took a bullet for me, and you can be damn sure that I would do the same.”

North was out of retorts now, and stepped back.

“I think that sums everything I wanted to ask you,” Markus admitted. “Except for one thing. How would you feel about coming to live with Jericho? With us?”

The question threw Paul for a second, even though it was a fairly logical one. He was an android in Detroit, makes sense for him to be here, and he could communicate with Android Allies remotely. Despite the logic, he felt an emotional response. A strong, negative one; one that almost hurt.

“I, I don’t think so,” Paul shook his head. “Thank you for the offer, but I don’t that would work for me.”

“She’s not forcing you to stay, is she?” North asked, and Paul’s face darkened.

“Megan has never made me do anything,” he growled.

“That’s enough,” Markus stepped in before things got out of hand. “Thank you Paul. Would you mind sending in Megan? I’d like to talk to her too.”

“Fine,” Paul turned and left, simmering with anger.

He let the door fall shut behind him and joined Android Allies on the stairs. Megan was the first over to sit next to him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, and Paul shook his head. “How about talking through the emotion?”

“I know what I’m feeling,” Paul snapped, and instantly regretted it, Megan was trying to help. “Sorry. North just pisses me off.”

“That’s impressive,” Megan smirked.

“Markus wants to talk to you. Just you,” he added when Alex started to stand up.

“Me? Why?” Megan asked, more than a little apprehensive at the idea.

“I forgot to ask,” Paul sighed. “Head in. I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?” she asked, and when Paul nodded she stood up. She walked hesitantly towards the door, and took a step back as Josh, North and Connor exited. She didn’t pay them any thought, and thankfully they left the door ajar.

“Come in,” Markus prompted, and Megan nudged the door open wide enough for her to slip in, and shut it behind her.

So, basically, Paul has to convince the Jericho crew that he and Megan are cool and there's nothing dodgy going on. And Megan's being anti social. I saw a post on tumblr about introverted characters remaining that way because it's not a thing to 'overcome', and my mind immediately went to the bit where she was getting ready to make notes!

You might be able to tell, but I'm not a big fan of North. I appreciate that you need someone to advocate the violent option and her backstory puts her in the perfect position for it. I just hate the forced romance between her and Markus. At best it's forced, at worst (aka when you go completely pacifist) it's completely out of left field and makes no sense. I understand that having multiple romance options was too much for the development team to handle, but surely there could have been an option for Markus to not be romantically involved with North? Sorry, it drives me up the wall... Other Options Flowchart

(Paul) Decline Markus's offer

(Paul) Be serious to North's probing. Be annoyed.

(Paul) Remain calm. Start shouting

Tags! @nightmarejim @septicart-appreciation

[wildfangz]

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want. 

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’.  i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust. 

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me 

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway 

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway! 

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

21

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

[nat-dribbles]

so i got tagged twice by @making-friendos and @linkerbell and figured i’d do it even though some i might not really answer properly aeaeae

Rules: Complete the 15 questions and tag 10 others you wanna know more

Name: Rain/Nat (idc what you call me)

Age: The Industrial Revolution

Country: Mars

Favorite color: i?? dont?? know???? purple

When you made this blog: July 2016 (im a tumblr baby ok)

Follower count: like?? 530??? jesus christ last time i checked i had 300

Choose a superhero power: i want. wings, . let me fLIEE

Favorite drink: Frescolita anhahgha 

A song you love right now: STFU by mansionz

Dream career: im not sure? something tech or art related..,., or storyboarding

Dream vacation: I’m already international wyd

Hogwarts house: i havent read harry potter but im sure id be hufflepuff

Favorite character(s) of the week: Catra, Lapis,Peridot, Kris, Eclipsa, , Gumball

How do you keep your hair: Down, usually,, it’s all frizzy but straight and a bit longer than shoulder length (i gotta cut it)

i aint taggin nobody cause im lazy and i gotta do hw lmao

[happyendingsong]

im tabling at dcc in like three and a half weeks -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- which will be a ton of fun once im there but dear god im out of practice

i need to figure out what to prioritise making in the next while, and be very positive affirmations voice I AM CAPABLE OF FINISHING A PIECE OF ART AND IT WILL BE FUN REEMBRACING THE FULL ARTISTIC PROCESS about it

some ideas i have areeee:

twewy print, neku shiki beat and josh all piggybacking on each other

twewy badges/keychains which would be fun but ive no idea if they'd sell </3 maybe i should just test the waters with the print this time round and see what happens. maybe it'd be smarter using the neo twewy gang but like i have zero interest LOL.

kh sora print i started ages ago when he got announced for smash that i never finished

monster high print, im not sure what though, kind of thinking about dressing them up like 80s horror final girls or smth but im not sure how to translate that properly

bratz print, general y2k fashion shite

ff7 print, the gang in 90s fits hanging out with cats, styled like an old school adoption/psa poster?

ff7 badges/keychains?

kh sorikai print, the three of them getting healed at a save point

advtime bubbline print, IVE NEEDED TO MAKE A BUBBLINE PRINT FOR GENUINELY YEARS BUT I NEVER HAVE ANY IDEAS. I STILL DONT HAVE ANY IDEAS WHATS WRONG WITH ME.

ygo print, mai and her harpie ladies. ive had this one on my vision board for yearsssss i just need to sit down and do it 💆‍♀️

mp100 print, the cast all wearing themed raincoats w umbrellas

mp100 badges? keychains?

kh sora print, him in the 100 acre wood

jennifer's body as a goosebumps cover

fnaf print, gachapon with all the animatronics in lil capsules (i made fnaf badges before but they never really sold that well, but i feel like the new game brought a lot of people back/made people really nostalgic for the series as a whole/now the kids who grew up with fnaf have disposable income to buy shit at cons?? idk um. lol)

eah print, lil cutesy cartoon versions of the gorls all hanging out on a big fairytale book. but i think eah is pushing it, i should see if the mh print has any takers before committing to eah.

advtime finn print or finn and jake, i SHOULD have another thing since all my advtime stuff is from like 2013 or smth. would LOVE to have more advtime on the table, i just need to think of smth 😔

could be a complete sellout and just do owl house because i know it'd sell..... i won't but i could.

same w she ra

same w ace attorney? though it'd be less sellouty because i do actually like aa, and i think aa stuff does REALLY well here

MAYBE sdr2? would have to rack my brain pretty hard but it could be a good shout

aw maybe i could finish my wwe 4hw print from years ago? i think it WOULDVE sold when i first started it in like 2019 but im not sure about now :/ although i think ott are actually putting on a little show at dcc this year so maybe doing a wrestling print makes a fair bit of sense. but i feel like if any nerds at a comic con are buying wrestling prints, they're gonna be aew fans. and idk if aew has any women id care enough about to make up a whole print for.....

kh girls print

the sims bella goth print

atla print, the gaang hanging out with turtle ducks or azula's girl squad

i also want to make a lil art zine of my life drawing bits from last year, i think that'd be cute :)

fart cunt faggy dyke cock pussy porn, hopefully this doesn't show up in tags

[nonbinarypastels]

About & FAQ Page

This page was last updated on July 31, 2018

About nonbinarypastels

This blog was created to combat REG (reactionary, exclusionist, gatekeeping) politics in the LGBTQIA+ community as well as other forms of harmful conservative rhetoric that’s become so common on tumblr through the spreading of positivity and information based posts. My goal for this blog is not only to validate and support LGBTQIA+ people (and people of all marginalized identities) but also to encourage people to be more accepting of others, more able to think critically about all issues, and more passionate about making a positive difference not only in their own lives but the lives of those around them.

What I post about

Positivity — Not only nonbinary positivity but positivity for all  LGBTQIA+ identities and other people as well.

Social Justice/Politics

Mental Health/Mental Illness

Critical Thinking Skills

Fandom/Media

Miscellaneous Other Topics

If you’re only here for positivity

Please blacklist the #not positivity and #discourse tw tags.

Things you should know before you follow this blog

This blog is inclusionist. I believe that all aromantics and asexuals belong in the LGBTQIA+ community. I’m also firmly against other exclusionary rhetoric that seeks to exclude any non-cishet (by which I mean non cisgender, heteromantic, AND heterosexual) group from the community.

This blog supports creative freedom and a safe fandom environment. I don’t care what kind of fiction people write/read or what they ship as long as all of their content is tagged properly and kept in appropriate spaces. While I think media criticism and having civil discussions about what we’re writing and reading and why is a good thing, I think the ‘anti’ community on tumblr totally crosses the line with their behavior which goes beyond legitimate media criticism and straight into cyberbullying and harassment.

This blog does not support radical feminism. Radical feminism is a harmful conservative movement that harms and attempts to control the lives of marginalized people. I do not support any form of radfem rhetoric.

This blog does not support trasnmedicalsim or truscum. These are groups that actively harm trans and nonbinary people by pushing reductionist, transphobic rhetoric and policing the identities of trans and nonbinary people.

This blog is queer positive. I will not censor the word queer or exclude queer people from this blog or the community.

Please do not send me messages

About any medical or life-threatening emergencies you might be having. I am not a doctor and cannot give medical advice and there’s also no guarantee I’ll be online when you send your message. If you’re in a life-threatening situation please contact the relevant local authorities (either 911 or your country’s equivalent) or get to a hospital immediately.

Calling out people I reblog from or who are reblogging from me about anything having to do with ships or fanfiction. As stated above, I don’t care what people ship or write/read as long as it’s properly tagged and not posted in inappropriate spaces. Any messages I get about “so-and-so ships ___” will be deleted.

About anything having to do with MAP discourse. I am a CSA survivor and am generally not comfortable discussing or reading about MAPs.

Telling me that a-specs “aren’t actually lgbt” or anything similar. You will automatically be blocked for being an aphobe.

Saying there are only two genders. You will automatically be blocked for being boring.

Asking me questions that have already been answered on this page. I made this FAQ for a reason. Any asks I get containing questions that I’ve already answered (or asking for definitions of terms that are listed in the glossary) will be deleted.

———————————————————————————— General Questions Do you have a question about what a certain term means?

Please check the glossary page to see if I have a definition already listed. If the term you’re looking for is not in the glossary, please feel free to send me an ask about it.

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/172930687066/glossary-page

Are you feeling down and need to be cheered up?

Please check the self care tag for posts you might find helpful.

http://www.nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/tagged/self+care

Why do you put image descriptions on your posts?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/165370079304/can-i-ask-why-you-provide-image-descriptions-i

Who is that in your icon?

Deadpool from Marvel comics

Icon by http://www.wadewicons.tumblr.com/

Do you take requests?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/172930396816/requests-page

Who are you/what is your main blog?

Considering how nasty I’ve seen discourse about the identities I’m trying to provide positivity for get and the things I’ve seen other blogs similar to this one having to deal with, I’m not comfortable disclosing the link to my main blog. I value my privacy and my safety and I hope my followers can respect that.

What are your pronouns?

Any pronouns other than it/itself are okay. I have no other preferences.

Are you a minor?

No.

Can people who aren’t nonbinary interact with this blog? Can cis people?

Anyone, nonbinary or not, is allowed to follow nonbinarypastels and reblog from us. Not only am I okay with cis people following this blog and reblogging from it, I 100% encourage them to do so. I think it’s important that not only do LGBTQIA+ people support ourselves and those who ID the same as us but that we support people of different identities and just as much I also think it’s vital for cis people to show that they support us. I think cis people reblogging positivity posts for people who aren’t cis is an excellent way to show that.

Can I interact with this blog if my blog is about ___?

I don’t care if your tumblr is 99% cute crayon drawings of pretty flowers or drawings of kinky furry porn, if you like the posts here or need them or want to spread the positivity with your followers I have no problem with you following + reblogging from this blog.

Can I share your posts on other sites?

Feel 100% free to share my posts on Twitter, Facebook, or other social media. Credit + a link back is appreciated but it’s not required. However, please do NOT upload my posts to sites such as redbubble, storeenvy, or other sites where you’ll be selling them to others.

Can I use your posts in moodboards/aesthetics posts?

Yes!

Where do you get the pictures for your image posts?

https://www.pexels.com/

http://www.unsplash.com

Why the pineapples?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168615228296/hello-ive-noticed-your-recent-posts-about

——————————————————————————- Call Me Out Would you like to tell me that the term ‘a-spec’ was stolen from autistics and that it’s problematic to use it to refer to ace/aro people?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/162255685756/hey-idk-if-you-were-aware-of-this-but-you-have-a

Would you like to tell me to stop including the ‘I’ in the LGBTQIA+ acronym?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161388049611/you-do-realize-that-like-a-lot-of-intersex-people

Would you like to tell me that butch and femme are lesbian-specific words and no one else has the right to use them?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169789232996/nonbinarypastels-since-i-keep-getting-anons-wrt

Would you like to tell me not to use queer as an umbrella term?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/165557176711/hey-uh-sorry-if-this-is-too-much-to-ask-but-dont

Why are you intolerant towards conservatives?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169509757921/being-an-intolerant-jerk-about-conservatives-and

—————————————————————————– Questioning Do you have tips for figuring out your gender identity?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160444273391/any-tips-to-give-to-help-someone-to-figure-out

Is it okay to use they/them pronouns if I’m still questioning my gender and might be cis?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/162316760041/i-feel-comfy-using-theythem-but-i-dont-know-if-im

I want to question my gender but I’m afraid I’m faking it all?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169375568051/hi-i-always-thought-i-was-a-cis-guy-but-ive

———————————————————————————– About Being Trans + Nonbinary Are nonbinary people trans?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160443055731/do-you-consider-nb-to-be-a-part-of-the-trans

Am I still agender if I have feminine interests/hobbies?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159863843416/i-identify-as-agender-but-i-also-like-girl

Can you be lunarian and agender?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159119628926/can-i-be-a-lunarian-agender-or-does-that-like

How do you deal with nbphobia?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161289280081/tw-transphobia-tw-ableist-slur-tw-r-word-do

What do I do if my friends are nbphobic?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161290197211/one-of-my-best-friends-is-a-radical-feminist-i

What’s the difference between being nonbinary and being a tomboy?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170485614676/im-having-a-mild-identity-crisis-whats-the

Can you be nonbinary and prefer she/her or he/him pronouns?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170449570882/hi-im-someone-who-identifies-as-non-binary-ive

Are nonbinary people to blame for trans people not being taken seriously?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161287284091/how-do-you-respond-to-people-who-say-nbs-are-the

How do I deal with people saying nonbinary people are responsible for trans people being made fun of?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/167977849726/hey-i-got-some-really-messed-up-enbyphobic-anon

Is trans day of visibility for nonbinary people too?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159055092686/sorry-if-this-is-stupid-is-trans-day-of

Is there any proof there are more than two genders?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170985650804/sgaprivilege-sonoanthony-hatingongodot

Do you think it’s fetishizing for people to say they’re attracted to nonbinary people?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170815582801/whats-your-take-on-the-claim-that-mlnbwlnb-are

Am I still trans/nonbinary if I didn’t always know from a young age?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169845692030/hi-okay-so-im-trans-nonbinary-and-i-noticed-that

Am I still nonbinary if I never want to come out?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169159856571/can-i-still-be-nb-if-i-dont-plan-on-coming-out-to

How do I overcome internalized nbphobia?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169128988716/do-you-have-any-tips-on-overcoming-internalized

What can I call the nonbinary person I’m dating other than boyfriend/girlfriend?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/164729025088/hi-i-dont-know-if-you-guys-answer-questions-but

What’s your opinion on “there are only two genders” jokes?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169533948384/hey-i-was-wondering-if-you-might-be-able-to-give

Who is allowed to ID as nblm/nblw/nblnb? Do I have to have a certain alignment to ID with these terms?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175370970607/hi-im-a-asexual-biromantic-agender-person-and

———————————————————————————- About Presentation + Dysphoria

Do you have any tips for dealing with dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171870400516/urgent-im-a-non-passing-pre-everything-trans

What’s the difference between social dysphoria and body dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171770067231/whats-the-difference-between-social-dysphoria-and

How can I write about trans/nonbinary characters who have dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163261302706/hello-there-nonbinary-questioning-black-anon

How can I bind safely if I can’t afford to buy a binder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160277656876/hello-i-came-here-because-i-wanted-to-ask-if-you

Do you have any advice about buying your first binder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171412780521/advice-for-somebody-who-is-getting-their-first

How can I look more androgynous?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160850193236/do-you-have-any-advice-for-nonbinary-teens-who

Is it normal to want top surgery but not want to take T?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168600610588/is-it-normal-for-a-nonbinary-person-to-want-top

What can I do if I hate my voice?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169110950161/hey-i-am-non-binary-and-14-years-old-i-was

I want to change my hair but I’m afraid people will hate it?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/166569911301/hey-i-recently-came-out-as-non-binary-i-really

—————————————————————————— About Sexuality How can you be sex-repulsed without being asexual?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159348049986/how-can-you-be-sex-repulsed-but-not-asexual

Can you be in a queerplatonic relationship if you’re not ace/aro?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171758800972/can-you-have-a-qpr-if-youre-not-acearo

What’s the difference between demisexuality and regular attraction?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160198336046/whats-the-differrence-between-demisexual-and-just

Is pansexuality transphobic/biphobic?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160201643591/hi-i-just-want-to-tell-that-i-heard-someone-say

Do bisexuals have straight-passing privilege?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163139939492/hey-there-i-was-wondering-if-you-can-help-me

Can you be asexual and still like masturbation?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171408739131/so-i-was-wondering-could-you-be-asexual-and

Can you be wlw and mlm at the same time?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171269548272/hi-im-confused-this-is-a-genuine-question-pls

Can you be nblw, nblm, and nblnb at the same time?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171158368762/i-identify-as-a-nblw-nblnb-and-nblm-is-that

How can lesbians use he/him pronouns?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170496057755/this-is-an-ignorant-question-so-i-apologize

What is the split attraction model?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169931000321/hello-i-was-reading-that-post-about-asexual-stuff

———————————————————————— About Coming Out

Are you looking for coming out tips and encouragement? Please check my coming out tag!

http://www.nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/tagged/coming+out

Is it okay to come out to my friends before my family?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160086167706/i-am-trans-and-came-out-to-one-of-my-friends-who

How do I explain being nonbinary to my parents when they just don’t get it?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168598203993/ive-accepted-im-nonbinary-and-my-parents-know

Do you have any advice for coming out as nonbinary?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171342286106/hey-any-advice-on-how-to-come-out-to-my-dad-as

How do I come out to my parents?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170782185301/hi-i-identify-is-non-binary-and-i-know-for-sure

How do I get my parents to use my name/pronouns and accept me?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168598203993/ive-accepted-im-nonbinary-and-my-parents-know

——————————————————————————

Fandom & Fandom Discourse Related

What is an anti?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171868269706/what-is-an-anti-i-had-always-heard-that-anti

What have antis ever done wrong?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171966569929/shipping-isnt-morality-block-report-program

How can I deal with antis who are harassing me?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171974140371/hi-sorry-to-bother-you-i-was-looking-through

Do you support pedophilic ships?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170196527876/wait-you-support-pedophilic-ships-thats-gross

What’s your opinion about MAP discourse?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171209629491/so-what-do-you-think-of-maps-then-the-ones-who

If you’re not a bad person, why do you like bad things in fiction?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/164750728921/about-your-post-on-how-liking-certain-fiction

What is purity culture?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169710243376/do-you-know-whenhowwhy-purity-culture-started

What is your opinion on RPF?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175123194126/i-wasnt-able-to-find-anything-on-your-blog-about

What is fujoshi discourse?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/174877862940/i-just-saw-someone-reference-fake-fujoshi-blogs

——————————————————————— Misc. How do you handle ignorance?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160627538536/how-do-you-handle-ignorance-im-too-scared-to

What’s an invisible disability?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163099887223/hey-i-have-a-quick-question-whats-an-invisible

What is TERF/radfem rhetoric?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169015697831/on-radfemreg-rhetoric

How do I know if I have an eating disorder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171664946546/ed-tw-i-guess-mmmm-since-i-was-young-ive

What’s the difference between being squicked and being triggered?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171341992144/um-so-ive-been-wondering-if-feeling-physically

How do you deal with bigots?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170516017459/exposure-to-identities-really-is-the-best-way-to

Why can’t someone be both anti-SWERF and anti-kink?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170011993907/hey-quick-q-feel-free-to-ignore-but-i-had-a-post

When was gay used as a slur?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/166431435436/hello-i-just-saw-your-post-that-i-think-was-from

How do you find out about the free samples you post?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163522947367/hey-this-isnt-about-anything-nonbinary-but-i-was

What is your opinion on self-diagnosis?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175045406707/what-are-your-thoughts-on-self-diagnosis-ive-been

[kpopisthereasonihavenolife]

Set Her Free

This wasn’t a request, but I had this pop in my head out of no where and I had to write it down.  Still have a long way to go for to properly write a mythical type of AU, but I still liked writing this (I’m a sucker for mythical/fantasy shit)!! Worry not, requests and reactions are still on the way!! <3

Monsta X

Who: Im Changkyun (I.M)

Genre: Fantasy/Mythical Creatures, Romance

Words: 6.5k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Changkyun wasn’t sure how he found himself in this position, in the position to work under scientists of the state, becoming an assistant to government known and trusted brainiacs.  More than that, he wasn’t sure how he found himself being a keeper of deep government secrets and finding, more specifically you.  

Somehow, he work in scientific research and his many theories and thesis’s won over someone’s heart in Korea, as he received an email tell him to contact a given number, only to figure he was calling a well known scientists working on classified experiments.  When he was offered a time to come and witness the way of the science government doesn’t reveal, under the exception he work as an assistant.

When the day came for him to start his ‘new job’, he couldn’t even drive himself there.  Apparently, where he was going to tour around with his superior was a private facility that was blocked off to the public.  He was picked up with a driver in a black car, like you’d see in those spy movies.  He was dressed in dark pants that weren’t ruined, a partially tucked in shirt and a jacket with a bag he slung over his shoulder with his papers and research.

He was told to wear what he wished, and to bring his papers and files to confirm it was indeed him, so he sat in the back of this car, staring out the window as his driver took him to this facility. He’d be lying if he wasn’t nervous.  Normally, no one would rightfully accept this offer without some sort of meeting prior, or making sure what he was being dragged into wasn’t some illegal business or scam, but he only kept thinking that if there really was more to science that he could learn, he wanted to.  

So, when he entered a tunnel and took a turn to approached a caged off location with a large building inside of it far outside of town and near the sea, he was more than a bit surprised.  The drive was long, but he was anxious and excited the entire time.  When his driver pulled into a parking garage and parked the car, Changkyun left the car and was greeted by a man in a lab coat and a ID hanging around his neck.  

They exchanged handshakes, the man apparently was foreign, not from Korea, but spoke Korean well.  He explained as he started walking, Changkyun following after him, bag on his shoulder, that he was a scientist called from America to help study a specific subject that had appeared within the last few weeks.  

“What was the new subject? Is it a mineral or spore or something that they needed to call you all the way from the States?”  The scientist shook his head with a chuckled as they stepped into an elevator from the parking garage.  The options for floors went to 6 basement levels and 6 upper levels. He pressed the the buttons to head to a lower floor, B4.

���No, it’s no spore or mineral.  It’s a new species so to speak.  We’ve only heard rumors of it for years, centuries even.”  Changkyun didn’t know if it was something heard in private behind the scenes or governments for years, or if it was a rumor that was known to the public.  Either way, he assumed he was on his way to see a government secret.  He had more questions of course, but he didn’t ask any.  He would save what he had for whatever didn’t get answered in time.

When the elevator came to a stop and the metal doors slid open he was following the scientist out as he was met with a long hall with a single room at the end of it, closed off with a set of pretty dramatic looking metal doors.  In the hall was desks of different scientist with different set ups of machines and technology.  Papers would be stacked on one desk, another would be filled with tags for something, there were even small bags of blood resting on one desk with a set of pliers and different medical looking equipment.

“There sure is a lot going on in here.”  Changkyun whispered, more to himself, as he looked around.  The scientist heard him though and responded.

“Of course, we’ve had to do tests and experiments for our find.”  Changkyun felt a chill run up his spine into his neck for some reason as he spoke.  The scientist used an almost cold voice, like one of a sadistic pleasure.  

“What did you find?”  The scientist moved to the giant door at the end of the corridor as he approached a keypad and ID scanner.  

“You’ll see once these doors open.  Don’t be too frightened by her attitude thought, it can be a bit obnoxious.”  Changkyun spared the man a side glance as he spoke and punched in a code of number before sliding his card into a reader.  Soon, after the green light showed the information entered was correct and valid, the door slid open and the scientist walked inside, Changkyun following him.  

The room was large and the only thing in it was one table you’d find in a hospital for surgerys, and along the back wall an entire tank full of water, coral, seaweed, shells and all sorts of sea life.  It was like a miniature aquarium with the tank taking up the entire wall from either side and nearly reaching the ceiling.  On one end of the tank, was a small pulley operated crane with a fish net attached to it, obviously used to scope something out.  

“So, this new species is a type of ocean life?” The man nodded as he approached the table and picked up a small remote, walking back over to Changkyun.

“Indeed.  She tends to be a bit shy towards strangers, so we’ll have to bring her out using this.  I’m sure she can see us, hiding in some seaweed or what not.”  He moved closer to the tank as he started raising his voice, talking to whatever he wanted to get the attention of inside.  “You know what this little remote does darling.  You want to come out, or do you want to do this the hard way?”

Changkyun approached the glass tank next to the man, and jumped with a piece of coral was thrown at the glass from inside, out of seemingly nowhere.  The man only clicked his tongue and shook his head.

“Hard way it is.”  There were two different buttons on the remote, one with a lightning bolt on it and the other with a symbol of to releasing clamps.  He pressed the bolt button and once he did, Changkyun jumped at the sudden movement out of the corner of his eye.  Over in a tall, thick bed of seaweed, something started moving or thrashing about.  Whatever it was, Changkyun saw part of it slam against the glass.  The way the seaweed thrashed worried him.

“What did you do?”  He asked, both form worry and curiosity.”

“I just gave her a little electric shock as a boost.”  He widened his eyes.  They were electrocuting whatever was in this tank?!  “But, wouldn’t the shock spread through the water and injure the other life?” The man shook his head.  

“No, we modified this particular method to work only through the body of the tagged.”

“So, the shock is in the tag?  You tagged it?”

“Her.” The man corrected. “And yes, we did.  Ah, there she is.”  The grin that broke out on the man’s face made Changkyun’s face twist as he looked back into the tank.  Through the plants, he saw a human like arm reach out of it.  He jumped, thinking someone was in there, but before he could fully react, the thing in the seaweed swam out rapidly.  

They had swam past the front glass of the tank, banging against it, startling CHangkyun to the point he stumbled on his feet and fell to his rear.  What he was looking at made his mind rell.  This had nothing to do with science, this was just discovering that an old myth did exist.  He didn’t believe it at first, that he was looking at this being.  

Changkyun couldn’t believe he was looking at a mermaid right now.  That he was looking at you.

Your hair was long and flowing behind you as you thrashed around in the tank.  He couldn’t see your face clearing because of your rapid movements and your hair masking it.  Your chest had scales of beautiful pastel violet and teal that seemed to grow over your breasts, unlike in the movies were they had shells.  Your tail started at your hips, just below were a human’s pelvis would be and the same shades of violet and teal mixed all the way down to the bright blue fins.  

He didn’t have to see your face to notice your beauty and you were still in pain from the shock.  Changkyun shot up, dropped his bag off his shoulder and grabbed the remote without thinking form the man.  When his thumb came off that shock button, your thrashing stopped and you seemed to relax and float back to the bottom of the tank, on the sand.  

“Can’t you see that with you constantly holding that button, it hurts her?!”  He was confused and worried.  Sure, this is a breakthrough is some many ways, but then he thought of the bags of blood in the other room, the medical equipment, the papers and the god forsaken remote in his hand.  With so many people and tests, he thought you must be in pain.  

“She’s the first mermaid the human race has seen in records-”

“And that gives you the right to treat her like an animal?!”  He was getting more and more worked up.  “She’s not an animal,she’s not a pet.  That girl-,” he pointed to your unconscious figure in the tank, “is a living being and she doesn’t deserve to be shocked just because she’s more than likely terrified!” He threw the remote behind him as it broke against the wall and took deep breaths.  

He knew that his words and actions might give him hell, and probably even kicked out, but he didn’t care.  If anything, he’d only want to stay and try and keep you safe.  He wanted to get to know you and know your pain.  He’d want to make sure to be your friend so you wouldn’t hurt as much as you would if you were alone.  

The scientist sigh as he crossed his arms.  

“I accepted this kind of reaction from someone like you.  You put a lot of your personality into your thesis’s and your work, so this was rather appropriate of you.”  Changkyun rose his brow at him.  Did he… literally make an hypothesis on how he would react to a fucking mermaid? “That being said, I really only sought you out to keep out scaled beauty company.”

Changkyun blinked at him, now more composed than before.  

“Excuse me?”

“I wanted to bring you here to see if you would be able to form a bond with her.”  The man looked at the tank again.  “She refuses to speak to us, if she can speak at all.” Changkyun had to stop himself from scoffing, or course she didn’t speak to you.  He wouldn’t speak to a group of psycho-scientists keeping him in a cage with electric shocks either.  “However, if you were to introduce her to a seemingly harmless body with no intentions of learning about her through science, she may just try and communicate.”

Changkyun was both pleased and angry.  He was pleased that he’d be able to stay and do what he wanted, like forming a bond and trying to help her.  But, he was also angry that they wanted results of communication from her so badly they resorted to using an outside force instead of just changing their tactics.  

“I assume I have no choice in the matter either way.”  The man smiled to him, in a threatening way that was masked in innocence.  

“Correct. Now, how about I leave the two of you alone for a bit, hm?”  He nodded his head as he walked past Changkyun to pick up the pieces of the broken remote.  “This will need to be repaired.”  Changkyun’s jaw clenched at his words as he glared at his back as he left and the metal doors shut behind him, leaving only Kyun and the mysterious mermaid.

Changkyun sat on the ground for a time before he saw your arms and tail start to twitch, signalling your consciousness coming back to you.  When you moved to start lazily floating above the sand, you saw Changkyun as he stood and bolted for the seaweed again.  Changkyun ran to the tank’s glass and tapped on it.

“Hey, come back!  I’m not going to hurt you!” He tapped on the tank with his finger and as you peeked out from the plants, he offered you a smile.  “I won’t hurt you.”  He said it quieter, but he doubt that you could hear him.  He motioned you to come closer to the glass with a smile and a small wave.  You did so, not seeing a smile like that from anyone else.  When you got to the glass, he finally got to see your face.

Bright, wide e/c eyes and plush pink lips in one your face was enough to capture him.  You had traces of scales on your cheekbones but they were faint almost like they use to be there, but had been removed.  Changkyun pointed to his cheeks as he asked you about it.

“You cheeks?  What happened?”  He mouthed it slowly just in case you did understand him.  You brought your own fingers to trace your cheeks, and felt the empty spaces instead of your smooth scales.  You shook your head and pointed to the door.  Changkyun looked over his shoulder and started feeling annoyed again.  

“They took them?”  You nodded and he rose his brows. “Can you understand me?”  You nodded again and pointed to your lips, signaling you could read his lips.  He nodded as you then looked to where the small pulley operated crane at the end of your tank.  He hadn’t noticed it before, but there was a basket just large enough for a person to stand in and be taken to the top of the tank.  

Changkyun looked back to you as you pointed to it then pointed up.  

“You want me to go to the top of the tank?”  You nodded as you swam with him as he walked to to the crane.  He walked inside the basket as he flipped a switch as it took him up the net attached to the basket following him.  He watched as you swam to the surface of the tank and waiting for him.  You didn’t actually break the surface until he was at the top and leaning over to look inside.  

“Hello.” He greeted again as you slowly pushed your head over the water and rose your body just enough so where your shoulders were out of the water.  You looked at him, your hair wet and sticking to your forehead as water dropped off your bangs and down your face.  

“Hello….”  You had responded in a small voice.  He smiled as he rested his arms o the side of the tank.  

“So you do understand me.  Did you learn this language?”  You nodded.  

“Mermaids tend to learn the language of the land closest to where they live.  I was born in the seas closest to Korea, so I’ve been learning this language since I was born.”  Changkyun nodded at you.

“Interesting.  You speak it well.  Do you know any other language?”  You shook you head.

“Do you?”  He nodded at your question.

“Yeah.  I can speak English.”  You tilted your head at this statement.

“English?  Isn’t that the language they learn in the west?”  He nodded.  He explained how he use to live in America and learned how to speak English fluently in his 3 years in Boston.  When you asked him to speak English so you knew what it sounded like, he did so and your eyes lit up with interest.   He chuckled at you.

“Do you want to learn English?  I can always teach you a few things.”  You smiled at him in excitement and he saw your tail move just a bit more rapidly in happiness.  He chuckled at you and also took the time to admire your smile.  “You know, you’re really cute when you smile.”  You were taken aback by his statement and tilted your head.

“Cute?”  He nodded.  “What is that?  Is it a compliment?”  He blinked at your question. Did you seriously not know what ‘cute’ was.  

“It’s a compliment.  It means that I like the way you look when you smile.”  You nodded. You didn’t know that, no one had ever taught you that word or called you it before.  

“You’re the first one to call me cute.”  

“I’m honored.”  You chuckled at him as he smirked.  If cute was something you thought about someone when you liked the way they looked, you then in turned called him cute.

“I think you’re cute when you smile too.”  Changkyun playfully held his chest at your innocence and laughed. You held casual conversation for a while longer before the door started opening again and you had disappeared under the water again and away from Changkyun.  It wasn’t until you were gone and he was lowering himself down in the basket, that he hadn’t even told you his name.  He didn’t get yours either.  

The man from before entered the room with a grin.  

“I see you and her were having a conversation.  Talk about anything interesting.”  Changkyun clicked his tongue.  

“What’s it to you.”  

“Ah, but you two did speak yes?”  

“We did, but only small phrases she’d picked up from listening in on you people I’m sure.” He didn’t want to tell him that she could basically speak fluent Korean, so he lied about how much she could communicate.  He had to watch what he said and did, or else it could turn out to be more tests done on you.  After talking with you for that short time, he already knew he didn’t want you get get hurt anymore.  

In fact, he had wanted nothing more than to get you out of that facility and back into the sea. He thought about it if it were him who was captured by a different species he didn’t know existed and the more the thought about how he would feel in your position, the more he wanted to change it.  

And, almost too simply, Changkyun was picked up and dropped over nearly daily to visit with you.  You trusted him since day one, as you couldn’t see any ulterior motive for him to possible gain your trust only for him to hurt you.  His eyes, voice and even movements were much more slower and gentle than the others you’ve seen.  

You’d watch as his eyes ignited with rage when he came back one day to more of your scales missing, or when that stupid shocking remote was fixed, or even when he’d see new bags of blood resting in the corridor.  He’d always express his hatred for the way you were treated.  But, other than all the bad that surrounded you all day, every day, he was a light of good.  

He’d teach you more words in Korean you hadn’t heard, and even teach you English.  He’d be impressed with how well you learned and how happy you looked while being taught.  In turn, he’d ask you questioned.  About how you live, how it feels to be able to be in water and air, even if land was a limited thing.

It was just another normal day that he spend sat at the edge of your tank in the metal basket.  You had taken to sometimes pulling yourself to rest your arms on the side of the tank as well, getting closer to him as your torso would be out of the water.  He’d always worry that you’d dry out, so he’d always remind you to go in the water every now and again.  He left that day just like any other, but when he came back the next day, you didn’t greet him as you normally did.  

He tapped on the glass of the tank, just in case you didn’t hear him enter.  Still getting no response, he got in the small basket to travel to the top of your tank and called for you.  He was starting to get a small pit of fear in his stomach that he tried to calm.

“She’s probably just sleeping.”  He tried to reason, but nothing felt right to him.  He was content on just waiting for you to appear, if you would, but the glimpse he got of  your tail made him lean over to nearly touch the surface of the water.  It looked like your fin had been torn.  He, thinking now that you might not visit him, decided he’d go to you.  He removed his shoes and peeled off his shirt as he jumped into the water of the tank.  

The temperature made him yelp slightly as the bubbles of air left his mouth. He swam up to regain his breath as he took breaths to calm his body to the sudden temperature change.  He then took a breath before diving back into the water.  He swam to the bottom of the tank and suspended his body in the water by the seaweed before pushing it away.  He saw you, your arms covering your face as you faced away from him.  

Your shoulder shook slightly, as you were crying.  Changkyun figured it be hard to cry in water, where your tears disappear, but as you reached out to your shoulder and you jolted to see what touched you, he saw the red rimmed around you eyes.  You watched wide eyed as his pants were darker because of the water and how his hair moved in every direction due to the water constantly moving.

“Changkyun?”  You had told each other your names on the second day of his job, feeling a bit foolish for the lack of formailites on the first.  For some reason though, he could understand you perfectly.  It was like you weren’t in water at all, it made him forget he was in water.  He opened his mouth to respond, but only noises and air bubbled emerged from his mouth as he started to couch under the water.  

You quickly moved from your bed of seaweed and grabbed his arm as you swam quickly to the surface, pulling him over it.  He gasped as he coughed more and ran a hand over his face, slicking back his hair.  You looked at him in both a glare of anger and worry.  You worried over his well being as he wasn’t in the state to be in such cold water, and anger for not thinking about his health.  He watched you narrowed your eyes at him and pouted.  

“Hey, in my defense, I called for you and you didn’t answer.”  Your expression changed to a shocked one.  

“Ah, sorry.  I didn’t hear you.”  

“Clearly.” You moved to swim to the edge of the tank, to put him back on the edge of the tank, but he tried to stop you.  “What happened to your fin.”  He didn’t really ask it as a question, as he was already feeling anger bile up in his throat, and you hadn’t even answered.  Honestly, you didn't have to, he was fairly sure he would guess.  

“The evil men cut some of it. For DNA testing, or something.  I wasn’t really listening.”  You looked away as Changkyun only sighed and bottled up his anger for a little longer.  He swam closer to you and pulled your chest to his.  The scales that covered your breasts weren’t as rough as Changkyun first thought, they were even smooth.  You’re skin too.  

“I’m sorry.  I wish I could take you out of this nightmare.”  You could feel his legs as he tread the water with the movement of the water and the occasionally touch of your tail.  You moved your tail to support his weight water weight as you slowly encased your arms around him like he did you.  Sure, back in the sea, you’d hug your friends on occasion, but hugged a human was so strange.  

Their skin was much more dry than a mermaid, and their scent was different, even when submerged in water.  Their clothing was a strange texture against you scales and all in all, it was comforting. You wanted to be held, wanted to be consoled, but you always considered yourself strong, but when Changkyun held you, it was like silent permission to be weak for one single moment.

It was times like this that you wondered if humans were more like the evil people who has been keeping you caged up, or if there are more like Changkyun who care and are warm.  Changkyun ran his hand up and down your bare back, your hair tangling about his fingers occasionally. After what seemed like an eternity, you pulled away from him and smiled to him, signalling you were okay now.  

“I’m going to figure out a way to get you out of here.”  Your smile faltered.  

“Changkyun-”

“I’m serious.  I’m sick of this.”  He motioned to you, as he ran his thumbs over your cheeks, scaled just not starting to grow back in from the previous ones that were removed.  “I know you don’t want to be filled with this false hope that you’ll be free again, but just trust me.  Trust that I’ll figure something out.  No matter what it takes.” He moved to make sure he was maintaining eye contact with you the entire time he spoke, and he wouldn’t allow you to break it.  He was serious, he meant every word.  

“Do… do you promise?”  You spoke softly.  He nodded.  

“I’ll even pinky promise on it.”  You looked at him confused.  

“Pinky promise?”  He chuckled, expecting you did know what this ultimate form of truth and promise meant.  

“It’s a very serious deal that I won’t lie and I’ll do as I say.  All you do is lock pinky’s,” He extended his as you slow did yours and he took finger into his, “and finally now we reach over and touch thumbs.  Just to make it completely official and serious.”  So with a movement of both, the pads of your thumbs touch and the promise was complete.  

“That’s a strange way of keeping promises for humans.”  He scoffed.  

“It’s not that strange.  I bet you fish people just slap your fins together and call it good.”  You rolled your eyes.  

“No!  We exchange scales for promises.  If we give a piece of ourselves to someone, it’s like holding the promise in our hands and we can’t forget about it or else we have to painfully attach the scale that isn’t ours to our arms as a constant reminder that we lied.”  You spoke it in such a straight face as you sighed.  “I’ve never broken a promise, so I’m all clean.  I just think your ‘pinky promises’ are so simplistic.”  

“Woah, that’s pretty deep.”  

“Well of course, merpeople are a truthful race.  We have very few liars.”  

“I mean to be fair, there’s an old saying that if we break pinky promises, we have to swallow a certain amount of needles.”  You gasped.  

“That must be painful!”

“We don’t actually do it.  There’s a very high chance we’d die if we did.”  You two sat in the water in silence for a moment before laughing.  You spent the rest of this day swimming around in the tank with Changkyun until he was sitting out, drying his pants slightly before he had to go.  

More and more days passed and Changkyun always reminded you of his promise and one day he found out some information by being just a tad bit nosy.  He had overheard something about you being moved to an island facility to expose you to more wildlife experiments, and sure enough, written on a clipboard he just so happen to peek at, he got your date of shipment.  

That was his only chance to get you out.  So, as the day soon rolled around, as expected, Changkyun was incharge of getting you to the upper levels for transport and even accompany you to the bay where you would be boarded on a ship and moved.  He told you not to worry, as today was the day he would set you free.  

They had moved you into a much small tank, just the size for you and your tail to barely squeeze inside.  Your shocking tag had been removed for the transport as you were stuffed in the small tank.  YOu were placed on a wheeling cart as Changkyun pushed you to the elevator, and into the parking garage where you were loaded into a van along with him beside you.  

The staff knew you would offer trouble to anyone and everyone other than Changkyun, so he was incharge of you entirely. So, when you were both unloaded at a port with a small boat prepared to move you Changkyun looked to you and mouthed ‘brace yourself.’

With an, actually pretty believable, act of trying over the boards of the dock, he stumbled as he pushed the tank and you over the side of the dock.  Not letting go of the cart, he was pulled in as well.  The staff and scientists all panicked as everything fell into the water below.  Changkyun under the water now, worked quick to unclasp the top of the tank and you sprang out.  

You both broke the surface of the water and looked to the shouting above you on the dock.  Before anything else, You grabbed Changkyu around his waist his side to yours as you dove under the water and began swimming as quickly as you could.  You kept glancing at the closed eyes of Changkyun under the water and the way he held his mouth and nose to keep his breath in as well as water out.  

“I know where we are.  I know a safe place, just hold on a little longer.”  He heard you shout from under the water over the sounds of the seas rushing past his ears.  He only nodded as he concentrated everything on keeping his breath in.  HIs face began to turn red and he was ready to open his mouth unconsciously, but just as he did, you pulled him above the surface.  He took harsh breaths as he felt you pull him into more shallow water under he was laying on a hard surface.  

Finally opening his eyes, he found himself staring at the ceiling of a small cover by the seaside before you hovered over him into his vision.  

“Are you okay?!  I know we were under the water for a long time for humans!”  He shook his head, his breath still labored but barible now.  He chuckled as he reached to you and hooked his arms around your neck and pulled you on top of himself, hugging you as he laughed.  

“I actually got you out of there.  I’m so happy.” You chuckled back to him.  Your long wet hair was cold to him, but he was just happy to hold you and not being surrounded by scientists or people with evil intentions.  “You’re finally able to go home.”  It was when he finally let his hidden sorrow show a little bit.  “I’ll miss you know.”  He sat up as you moved away from him and rested your tail over his stretched out legs.  

“Well, do you visit the ocean often?”  He thought about it  He didn’t normally, but if he had even the slightest chance of seeing you among the waves, he’d definitely make more trips.  

“I’d be willing to travel to the beach any day of the week if I got to see you again.”  You smiled at him as you moved to lean closer to him slightly.  

“Will you wait here for me for a bit longer.  I want to get something for you.”  He didn’t know what you wanted to do, but he figured he could wait since the scientists were probably in the middle of multiple hernias at losing such a precious specimen.  He nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll wait.  But be careful.  They could be around looking for you.”  

“I’ll stick to the sea bed, they can’t detect mermaids when they’re moving along the sand.  Call it a camouflage trick of ours.”  He rose his brows.

“Neat.”  So, he left the cove and Changkyun.  He peeled off his shirt and rang it out before setting it on a rock to dry in the sun that peeked in.  He removed his shoes and socks as he messily ran his finger through his hair.  Thankfully it was still midsummer, so he wasn’t cold.  

It was maybe 2 hours later when he saw your tail flick up in the distance and second later you were swimming into the cove and pulling yourself closer to him. Around your neck was a shell with an old looking chain holding it to your chest.

“You waited for me!”  He rolled his eyes at your smiled.

“I did say I would, didn’t I.” You nodded.  “What’s with the shell?”  You looked at the shell as you took it and pulled it over your head, your hair being pulled over your shoulder as the chain was removed from your neck.  

“It’s a shell that will help you call me.”  You offered it to him as he rose his brow, taking it and examining it.  

“It looks like a regular old shell though?”  You nodded as you called him closer to you, and he moved to be at your side.  

“It was, but it’s been enchanted and modified for calling or summoning.”  You pointed to the small nozzle at one end of the shell.  “See, if you blow into this bit hear, it will emit a silent, but very high pitched call that only sea life can recognize.  The pitch is loud even your land animals would hear it.  The pitch comes out of the end,” you gesture to the open bit at the back of the shell, “and if you just blow for 5 seconds I will hear it and and be able to recognize the direction and sea you closest too.”

“Impressive.  It’s like a dog whistle mixed with a cell phone.” He moved it around in his fingers as he tapped on it.  “Does it break like regular shells do?”  You nodded.

“Unfortunately yet, but since I also had this made to go along with it,” you gestured to a small earing in your ear, “I’ll know when it becomes damaged.  When, or if it doesn't, just come here to this cover and leave it for me to find.  I’ll take it and have it repaired in a day so you can come pick it up again.”

“Is the earing an amplifier as well?”  You nodded.  “

It helps me identify it’s you calling me.”  You smiled as he looped it around his neck. “This way we don’t really have to say goodbye.  We can still see each other.”  

“I’ll have to get a case to put it in.  This is my new treasure, you know that right?”  You giggled at him.  “I’m glad I’ll be able to see you again.”  He playfully looked around as if someone was with you two in the cove before leaning and cupping a hand against your ear and whispering to you.

“Just for the record, I might have a little crush on you.”  You looked at him as he pulled back, chuckled because he knew what you were about to say just by the look in your eyes.

“Crush?  Isn’t that the action of flattening something?”  You looked a bit concerned as he laughed.  

“Yes, but is also means something else.  It’s a good thing, trust me.”  You wanted him to explain further but he didn’t, making you cutely pout when he told you he’d tell you someday, but not today.  As the sun started showing signs of setting, you advised him to get back to his own society and find a place to sleep for the night.  He set mental notes to move out of his previous home as soon as possible, since those scientist knew where it was.  

Soon, you had left to the water, and already missing you, Changkyun blew into the shell.  Not a minute later, your head was peeking out of the water not too far from him.  He smiled as he cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted to you.

“I’ll see you soon Y/N!  Please, be safe!!”  You smiled and raised your hand to wave at him before disappearing into the water again.  Luckily, a friend lived near where you had taken him so with little notice he decided to bunk there for a few night.  

He had his things moved closer to the coast in an apartment building as he lived in a high story with a few of the ocean.  He kept your shell kept in a small glass viewing box and would always take it with him when he planned to go to the shore.  He’d always meet you in that coves or secluded areas where you could talk without risking being seen.  He was pleased to see all your scales come back in and stay in place and even your fin had started healing.  

You had also started wearing gems around your neck and around your wrists even having small shell rings and clips and you had shown him a shell crown a child had made for you once under the ocean where you lived.  You were healthy and happier in the ocean just like he wanted and your smile never faded with him either.  

Even though you never found out what this ‘crush’ of his was, he was happy seeing you as often as he did.  He knew it’d be hard to try and maintain a relationship with someone like you.  So, when you came to him one day and pulled yourself out of the water, only to show that your tai had started changing, your scales into flesh he would both be confused and worried.

You had worked and paid an innocent sea magician to help you change when your body wasn’t in water.  He was at first angry at you for making such a decisions.  He’s seen the Little Mermaid, and it almost ended badly for her, turning into foam and making a deal with a sadistic witch.  But, when you assured him nothing would happen to you he forgave you.   

You also made up for your innocence and your choice on the day you told him you may be in love with him.  

[blookmallow]

What’s Up It’s Time For Blood 

this level took for e v e r 

good to know

the fuck are you looking at 

i also like how his tie is phasing through his entire torso

am i interrupting something 

:( 

oh no 

i actually feel bad about the dead robots :’ )

i again am really fond of the level of detail in these levels though like. if you pick up a human corpse bit it sounds really squishy and nasty, it flops around and splatters blood on things

if you pick up a robot corpse bit it sounds very clanky and metallic and it’s REALLY heavy and hard to move, there’s ash and oil or whatever the purple is 

and like. if you pick up a water bottle it makes. exactly the sound you’d expect, there’s slightly more weight, crumpled paper sounds like paper and is very light, all the objects and sounds work exactly like you’d expect them to (minus hilarious glitching but im not sure if thats actually intentional) (its rly funny so i dont mind it even if it isnt) 

ngl i feel like im working for hyperion 

wtf the fuck happened here 

did they sacrifice him to appease the robot gods 

w h 

i found ???? matrix pills ????? i n the toilet????????? what the fuck 

im taking it with me back to the office but what the fuck 

oh sorry i didnt realize this stall was occupied 

also i cant get the image to upload for some reason and im tired of dealing with it but i found a note that said “for the love of god! This morning I discovered bathroom stall #4 was beyond disgusting! The sea-shells were encaked with god only knows what. It’s John Spartan, I know it. I’m sure I’ve seen him go in there with notepad paper. Doesn’t he know how to use the 3 sea-shells, or the base keypad?”

i found an id tag on the floor, this was john spartan, but what the fuck are the sea shells for 

like at first i thought maybe they were some kind of fancy soap but...why would there be fancy bar soap in the stalls. i dont want to know the answer to that 

anyway rip john spartan. he died as he lived: making a huge godawful mess of the bathrooms

hey buddy

glad to have some company while im working 

my goodness

i rly appreciate the. entire dead terminator on the floor here 

oh boy 

this is not terribly dignified 

i feel like the ragdoll physics on these businessmen corpses are even more wacky than usual

i found another fork 

i tried to burn up a machine part with the laser gun in the hopes of making it smaller but it just ended up being an even bigger abomination 

whoops

uh

it’s fine 

oH goD why is that happening 

sighs 

sir we really have to work on our cooperation here 

that is a hiLARIOUSLY bad idea 

i dont know if its intentional but i appreciate the little blood smiley faces on some of these guys’ backs 

i was hoping id be able to figure out what this thing was once i cleaned it up but i still have no idea

it looks like. maybe a really simplistic model city? but why would this be in the board room. just for the purposes of someone being ominously murdered on top of it 

there we go now it doesnt look like a cult sacrifice chamber anymore 

just gotta clean up my bucket o’ bullets and blood here 

i dunno what this massive gun is for but its mine now 

hm....not bad. not bad at all

AAAGHHH NOT AGAIN :’ )

even after i went to all the trouble of replacing all those fuckign turrets 

theres ceiling turrets in this level that are all destroyed and you’re supposed to take the broken ones down/dispose of them/clean up the ash, install a new turret and reload it (these are all located on the ceiling aka they’re hard to reach and are VERY heavy) 

note that when you reinstall a turret it will target you and attempt to kill you every time you pass through a sensor with like. a bucket, or a box, or anything you might be using to clean and/or reach things with 

i cant help noticing the sensor seems to be specifically programmed to target janitors in particular considering i could walk through carrying an entire corpse and it wouldn’t mind but the second you bring a BUCKET through there, hooo boy

i was very. strategic about when i reloaded them so i managed to get all of them fixed without getting actually shot at (just beeped at a lot) but B( 

i always take like twice as long as the estimate times say 

lookin good 

there is now somehow even more blood on the opposite side of the wall, i guess theres. just. literally so much blood its starting to soak through the entire wall i guESS

hey who took my broken lantern :( 

i also stole part of a robot 

i tried very hard to get it to sit up properly somewhere but i couldnt get it to (robots are REALLY heavy and fall really easily) so