#im not sure why but this has been bothering me lately.... this body is very different from my own

[timekeeper-vertin]

Having a system moment of just.... this body is NOT mine and it bothers me. I want to look like myself, not somebody else.

[lanawinterscigarettes]

hiii i just found your blog, I LOVE HOW YOU WRITE, and if i can request like an angsty story about house and wilson with reader, and the reader has like some disease that'll kill her😭😭😭😭😭im just craving angst

YOU ARE SO SWEET THANK YOU 💞💞 it's been awhile since I've written a good angst fic so this is perfect for me

Your Last Breath (Greg House x gn reader x James Wilson)

Warnings: talk of hospitals/medical procedures, reader has a mystery illness that kills them, they/them pronouns used a few times to refer to the reader in a gender neutral way, hurt/no comfort, heavy angst, main character death (spoiler: it's you)

The doctors had been trying for months to figure out what was wrong with you. Months of invasive tests, months of going back and forth with possible explanations, months of being put on temporary treatments that seemed to work for a short while before you eventually succumbed to whatever was causing your problems again.

Everyone was stumped, and by everyone I truly do mean everyone. Not even House could figure out what was wrong, something that frustrated him to no end for multiple reasons. And by the time he was finally able to figure out what the cause was, it was already too late.

The disease had progressed too far along on its course for the doctors to be able to treat it properly. The best they could do was make you comfortable for the few weeks you had left to live.

Usually he liked having cases he couldn't crack, he liked figuring out the puzzle of what was bothering his patient, he liked being able to go to Cuddy and say "I told you so" when it ended up him being right and everyone else was wrong. But not this time.

This time all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and die. If only. He'd gladly give up both of his legs if it meant you'd get better.

Meanwhile, the resident head of oncology wasn't taking the news very well, either. It was normal for House to shut himself away for extended periods of time, but not Wilson. He barely left his office anymore, not to check on his own patients, not to accept a request for a consult, nothing. In fact, the only time he ever did leave was to visit you.

Most nights were spent with either him or House at your side, checking your vitals and fetching whatever it was that you needed. You ended up having to beg the both of them to go home at some point, even if it was to just shower and change, but they still refused, choosing to stay at the hospital instead.

Occasionally one of the ducklings would stop by if either of them couldn't for some reason, whether that be due to another patient needing attention or because you finally convinced them to take a break for once.

Foreman was solemn, talking about arrangements that could possibly be made for your body after death if you hadn't decided already. Cameron was sympathetic, reassuring you that they'd make sure you wouldn't be in any pain during your last days on earth. Chase was playful, trying to take your mind off things by cracking a joke or two. And Cuddy was surprisingly very nurturing when she managed to make the time to check in on you.

The whole thing was very bittersweet. While you appreciated everyone caring so much about you, it hurt to know why they were doing it.

Your final day was surprisingly quiet, with no nurses stopping by to check on you every hour or so like they had been for the past couple of weeks where you'd been bedridden almost completely. You suspected someone had requested for that, so you could have a bit of peace in the last few hours you'd be alive for.

House stood at the foot of your bed, watching as you slept. He looked like he was about to say something when Wilson suddenly spoke up from the armchair beside your bed.

"Don't even think about it, House. You're not waking them up right now."

Despite Wilson's firm tone, House couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Oh, come on. It's not like it matters much, they're going to be dead soon anyway."

It took everything in the oncologist not to snap and strangle the man in front of him. The only thing that managed to stop him was the sound of you letting out a hacking cough as you woke up. Even with the oxygen machine, it had become increasingly more difficult for you to breathe.

"Guys, don't fight," you tried to make your tone stern as you lectured them, but your throat was dry and therefore made your voice weak and raspy when you spoke.

"Hey, hey, don't speak, it's alright," Wilson gently reassured you as he reached out to take one of your hands into his. Your skin felt clammy, but he didn't care.

House had a pained look in his eyes as he watched you, but he did his best to cover it up with his usual snark. "We were just talking about you. Trying to figure out who should get your stuff when you die."

Wilson gave him an evil look, but you simply laughed. At least, they thought you laughed. It was kind of hard to tell given how sick you were.

"You guys are funny."

If it were any other time, House would've beamed with pride and joy at being able to make you smile with one of his quips, but this time he just felt empty inside, knowing that it was possibly the last one you'd ever hear. He quietly observed as Wilson helped you drink some water out of a small paper cup, one hand helping you hold it up to your lips while the other rested on your shoulder.

"Thank you," was the only thing you managed to get out once you were done, your breathing stalling yet again when you tried to speak. The three of you knew it was getting close to when it was going to happen. The problem was that only one of you had accepted it, and it wasn't either one of the two doctors who were in the room.

"I love you guys," ended up being your final words, a bittersweet smile on your face and tears in your eyes as you took your last breath. You hoped they knew that you meant that. You hoped they knew that you didn't blame them.

And you hoped that your death helped to bring them closer together rather than tearing them apart. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but who really cared? It's not like you'd be around to witness it anyway.

End notes: I rarely ever finish a request this early so please don't expect this to become a normal thing 😭 I just got really into writing this for some reason and once I started I just couldn't stop

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[scarawiki]

idk how this app works help

scaramouche x gn!reader , idk the word count 😬

first one shot ever prbly ooc scara i'm not sure how to write him very well :( most of it is rly self indulgent for comfort im going thru it i fear lawl. not beta read either i almost never write pls be nice 🤕🙏🙏 excuse any grammar or spelling errors

cw: mentions of poor eating habits due to depression & anxiety , mental health stuff , yada yada nothing super explicit

divider creds: @rookthornesartistry

You laid still in your bed that you shared with your partner Scaramouche, while he was out and about finding ingredients for dinner.

Since he left, you were once again alone with your thoughts. Constantly ruminating on the past and picking apart everything. Your mind had kept screaming at you, and you couldn't calm it regardless of what you tried. You were left feeling even more hopeless than before.

Scaramouche had picked up on your "odd" behaviors lately, but you simply brushed it off and just told him,

"I'm probably coming down with something. The weather is changing, don't worry about it too much."

You didn't want to burden him with your silly problems, right? Knowing his past, you didn't want to add more to the mix. You were sure you could deal with it on your own.

Following that afternoon, you sobbed. You were so dizzy and your head was pounding, wishing the world had swallowed you whole already. You felt that Scaramouche deserved someone better than your pathetic self. You didn't understand why you couldn't just feel happy. Why was it so hard? Why can't you get out of bed? Why can't you wake up in the mornings?

You heard the front door opening, and you quickly wiped away your remaining tears that rolled down your face, and tried to get comfortable again. Your whole body ached and you just wanted it all to end.

"(Y/N)? I'm home. I managed to find a few things for later tonight. I had to bargain a lot though, food is getting expensive these days."

Scaramouche called out from the living room, setting down everything on the counter. After no answer, he became curious and knocked on the bedroom door.

"Hey? Don't tell me you're still asleep, it's almost 6 PM."

He let out a small sigh after more silence followed, and then opened the door. He saw you were burrowed under the blankets, and came to sit down on the edge of the bed. He pulled the covers back to reveal your tear-stained face, and a wave of concern came over him.

Scaramouche was never particularly good at comforting others, or feelings in general. He was never shown gentleness and compassion in his 500 years of living, before he met you.

"Who did it?"

Scaramouche asked, immediately jumping to the conclusion that someone had caused you harm to hurt this badly.

"No one," you managed to whisper out. "It's really nothing. Don't waste your time on me."

He was slightly taken aback by your dismissive behavior, but decided to pry further. Scaramouche wouldn't know how to deal with himself if anything ever happened to you.

"Okay... well, you haven't been eating, and last time I checked, you aren't a puppet. You've been sleeping in until dinner time for the past few days. Out with it."

He sounded demanding, but soon mentally scolded himself for his tone with you when he saw the vulnerability in your expression.

"I just don't know what to do anymore... I feel so scared and exhausted all the time, I can hardly wake up in the mornings, and food doesn't bring me joy anymore. I can't even remember the last time I felt okay. I didn't want to bother you because I didn't think it was that bad, to be honest. I'm sorry for keeping it from you, Scaramouche. I swear it has nothing to do with you."

Your vision blurred as you spoke, and you could feel your throat closing up. You didn't know how much more you could handle of this constant misery.

Scaramouche stayed silent for a few moments, taking in everything you had told him. You had always seemed so bubbly and excited around him, and when he saw you completely falling apart in front of him for the first time, he felt confused.

"...How long has this been really going on?"

He inquired, and his eyes had a softer look in them.

"A few years, it comes and goes but it doesn't seem like it'll ever get better. I'm tired of suffering, Scaramouche. I want to enjoy life again and look forward to the future. Instead, I dread the next days to come."

You responded, avoiding eye contact and fidgeted with your hands. When Scaramouche took notice of this, he gently grabbed your hands and set them in his lap.

"I'll be blunt, I'm still figuring how these whole "emotions" work. But, I do see that you aren't yourself right now. Yes, you can be a little irritating at times, but I wouldn't be with you if I didn't... love you."

Scaramouche felt hesitant to say those last words, but at the same time it felt right. He then continues,

"It would be pointless to be in a relationship with someone if you weren't upfront with them, but I can see how you might have felt like a bother. I promise that you will never be a burden to me, and I hope you know that I would rather die than ever lay a finger on you, or hurt you any other way. You're one of the first few people to show me how to love and broke through my tough exterior. You never left me during my hard times, and I'm sure as hell not leaving you."

Scaramouche took a deep breath, and looked down at his lap to give your hands a slight squeeze.

"I will do everything in my power to help you feel better. I want to see to see you happy. I want to see that smile on your face again. But, you have to work with me, alright?"

He looks back up and lifts one of his hands to gently grab your chin to face him.

You reluctantly look into his eyes, and slowly nod.

"Okay, I'll try... Thank you."

You replied slowly, drained of any remaining energy you had left. Scaramouche leaned down to remove some of your hair out of the way, and placed a delicate kiss on your forehead. He came back up and caressed your cheek, and sighed softly.

"I'm not letting you suffer alone. Ever."

[shoyastars]

Date Day

A small fanfic

Mistin was laying in bed, feeling the exhaustion throughout their body from their late shift last night, they were so exhausted, they covered themselves with their blanket, as to keep the sun from shining in their eyes. They sighed as they were about to fall back asleep.

Bzzzt

“God damn it….” They groaned in frustration, why did they’re apartment had to have such an annoying bell.

.

.

.

Wait! Someone’s at the door!? With that Mistin got up instantly and looked at they’re phone. They a planned date today. They instantly got up and quickly tried to find some good clothes to wear for their date. The door buzzed again. They quickly answered the door, it was a delivery for them, they got a jacket on sale, and thought it looked nice, they decided to wear it today on their date with Ray.

After taking the box and signing their name they closed the door got into the shower and soon after while brushing their teeth, they noticed how they’re hair has gotten a bit longer, of course they didn’t have time to go to a hair salon, so after brushing their teeth, they got a pair of scissors and cut their own hair, it’s not like they hadn’t done it before, they did hate how it gotten in the way while they were a part time villain, and they didn’t really have the luxury of going to have a professional to cut it, so they took they’re chances. They done it more often and soon they knew what they were doing, how to clean up afterwards, and some other things. Luckily they were in a towel, they didn’t have to deal with cleaning or getting bothered by it.

They soon came upon the decision on what exactly to wear, they hadn’t been on an actual date for a very long time, so to say they’re rusty was more accurate than most.they decided to go for something simple. When they got changed they topped it off with the jacket they had. They weren’t sure if it was ok for a date, they never really cared about what they’re wore before. Soon they’re phone rang. They hurry over to answer, luckily they were close to they’re phone.

“Hey! What’s up? Ray of sunshine.” Smooth… real smooth… Mistin cringed, did they seriously get so nervous about tonight, they call him that?! Fuck it sounds so out of the blue…. With that they heard him laugh a bit. “Ray of sunshine huh? That’s new.”

They’re so lucky Ray can’t see they’re face right now. “Um… well you call me star… so… uh might as well call you something.” They really just wanted to remind and forget that the conversation started like that to begin with. “Fair enough, say… still up for today? If you’re not up for it it’s completely fine.”

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m still up for it.” It was clear in they’re voice they were nervous. “Good, I guess I’ll see you soon.” With that Mistin felt more nervous than ever. “Mhm.” Soon they would hang up, leaving Mistin with the feeling of nervousness and fear they might mess up they’re first ever date as a couple. First dates can ether go really bad, or good, it entirely depends if it works out in the end.

Later on in the day, Mistin would be walking through the streets, the sound of the city loud at ever. However they can still hear they’re heart beating so fast in they’re in ears. Soon they’d take some deep breaths and look forward, focusing on where they’re going, they honestly were glad they they were able to walk about the city, they enjoyed taking walks especially when the city is quiet at night, of course it is a bit dangerous to walk around at night, but as long as you know where not to go, you’d be perfectly fine. Soon they would see Ray coming into their vision, Mistin felt their heart racing again. Ray would eventually see Mistin and smile.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

Mistin could practically feel how awkward this situation was. Causing them to rub they’re neck a bit, they then remembered they’re hair. They weren’t sure if it was alright or not.

“Im not sure if this is ok..”

“What?”

“My appearance. Do I look ok?”

‘I’m not usually a person who cares too much about appearances but um…’

With that Ray took a step towards them and cupped their cheek, his thumb tracing along their bottom lip, causing their Mistin’s heart to race. He then kissed them, it didn’t make all their worries go away, but somehow the kiss was all the more comforting in that moment. When they both parted he only gave them a smile.

“No matter how you look, you’re always gonna be my one and only star, Mistin.”

Mistin felt they’re heart skip a beat. Ray ruffled up they’re hair.

“It looks nice. You always look attractive with short hair.”

“Makes me wonder if I grew my hair out.”

“You don’t need to do that for me star-“

“Maybe you’d get a better grip on my head when we go at it.”

With that Rays face immediately went pink. The suddenly comment and Rays flustered expression caused Mistin to chuckle.

“Don’t tempt me Star, I still recall that uh…”

Mistin laughed a bit, did he really forget it was called a fanficion?

“A Fanfiction?”

“Yeah. That..”

“I wouldn’t mind, the more difficult part would be is to find a place nobody would find us.~”

“Ok that’s enough from you!”

“Aww can you not handle a taste of you’re own medicine for once?~”

Mistin laughed as Rays face was now red, he wasn’t expecting this, especially since Mistin didn’t want them reading their mind due to boundaries, also due to how they were the first few days after he said those three words to them in what was once they’re old apartment. He’s still surprised they forgave him for doing that. Even though he’s the one being teased about such lewd things, he can’t help but notice how they’re lightening up, they seemed less nervous, and didn’t look like they were worried about they’re appearance anymore. He gave a small smile. Soon Mistin stopped and cleared they’re throat.

“So, should we get this date started?”

Ray shrugged.

“Sure, but if you wanna skip to something else that’s fine to.”

“Alright old man, don’t push you’re luck, this is the first date for god sales.”

Ray chuckled a bit, Mistin took his hand and they went of on they’re date. Turned out to be more enjoyable than Mistin thought it might be, it was simple yet interesting, thanks to Ray. Even when nearing the end of they’re date Mistin couldn’t help but enjoy they’re time together. A simple walk, a stop to eat and talk to each other, and simply just enjoying the moment. It wasn’t perfect, it was a good time. Even holding his hand was nice to do.

“So how do you like like our date so far?”

“Hm? Oh um.”

“Sorry, caught you guard?”

“A bit, hehe..”

Mistin then cleared they’re throat, they face having a hint of pink on they’re cheeks.

“Well, it’s comfortable.. and it isn’t fancy, or too much.. um… it’s um…”

Ray tilted his head a bit. A bit concerned the date right now wasn’t good.

“It’s hard to put it into words cause… I’m having a good time..”

Mistin felt they’re face heating up, there is that feeling they’ve had since they’ve fallen for him. Those butterflies in they’re stomach and feeling like they’re a lovestruck teenager in those cringy romance films, seriously they’ve been in love before… right?

“Well I’m glad, you scared me a bit there.”

“You couldn’t just read my mind or something?”

“Uh…”

“Oh! Right boundaries.”

“Yeah.”

“Um.. how’s that going by the way? Learning to control it?”

“Hm… well Audrey has been helping out a bit, and not to mention how I’ve been trying my best to respect you’re boundaries so… great I guess.”

“Audrey… how’s she been doing?”

Ray paused a bit.

“Ray?”

“She um.. she’s doing better.”

“Is she?”

Ray sat there in silence. Mistin took him hand in they’re own, they knew Audrey was only trying to help them in that situation, not only for they’re sake… but for Ray. Lately it seems like he’s giving her a bit more of a care to get to know her on a friendship level.

“She was really doing her hardest to save me you know that?”

“Yeah… yeah…”

“It’s not you’re fault. If anything I shouldn’t have-“

“Don’t finish that sentence!”

Ray grabbed onto Mistin’s shoulders. Was he…. Shaking? He then hugged Mistin, Mistin hugged him back, rubbing his back as to comfort him.

“I-… I honestly am grateful I still have you… she saved you’re life when I couldn’t…”

“I know.”

“I’m so sorry…”

“It’s ok.”

They both remained like that for a bit. It was like he was desperately clinging onto them as if they were his last once of sanity. He was grateful that Audrey was willing to keep Mistin a secret from the NAHA, he was even more grateful when they helped him get Mistin home after they were kidnapped. He almost forgot the reason why he asked her to be his sidekick in the first place. He still remembers when they were taking her to the hospital to receive medical attention after saving Mistin. After that he was starting to try and get to know them more and try and open up a bit. He was never usually like this, but at the time he thought it was the least they could do. Right now he was hugging his Star…. His binary Star… his tie to humanity. He knew the day he saw them, he learned something new about himself. That he was able to love. He wasn’t this emotionless monster that some say he his, he wasn’t just a weapon of war, he wasn’t just Binary Star…. He was Ray, he was himself around them. Being able to hold and love them as much as they love him to, soon to go further more possibly.

“I love you… you know that?”

“I love you more.”

Ray laughed a bit. Mistin could practically hear the emotion in his voice. Something they haven’t heard yet from him.

“You’re… way too good for me, Star….”

Ray pulled away, Mistin seeing the emotion in his dark eyes. Holding his face gently, giving a small smile. They then spoke in a soft, gentle voice.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Ray held their hand, they’re warm gesture, they’re voice. Couldn’t help but kiss they’re hand. Despite the hardships that have yet to come, he’s willing to take his chances. He then looks at Mistin, and Mistin only smiles. They’re foreheads touching each other for a second. Pulling away soon to face each other again.

“I think I kept you out for too long.”

“I don’t mind. I don’t have work tomorrow so it’s fine.”

“Really?”

“Yeah?”

“So you won’t mind if I keep you a bit longer?”

Mistin’s face immediately turned pink, looking away flustered.

“God damn it Ray! No! This is only the first date!”

“Aw don’t tell me you’re waiting till marriage? Do you want me to purpose to you right now?”

“I believe that won’t happen because the NAHA would have records of us being married in the system. So nice try you bastard!”

“I wouldn’t mind-“

“Oh my god stop!”

With that Mistin and Ray had a good first date, soon to go out on more, learning more about each other, and falling more and more in love with each other. Even if they were two broken people in the world, they were slowly becoming more with one another, orbiting around each other in a pre ordained dance.

They orbit around each other.

But by now, you already knew that. 😉

Thank you for Reading <3

[driflew]

it’s six sentence sunday. i do have six sentences, yes, but ive decided instead of posting them, im giving you the entire piece theyre from w incredibly minimal context

woe lamplight role swap be upon ye. we talked abt this in the server and then a few days ago i circled back to it w some friends and fleshed out the details more. god Martyn, paladin Ren, 1.7k words written in a frenzy before my DL session yesterday. this one’s treebark + very late in the theoretical Complete Storyline that exists between me and like three other people

Something is wrong. That’s the first thing Ren thinks when the shield starts to wither, the vines in front of him turning a sickly yellow-grey-black. Usually when Martyn finishes a fight, he simply calls his plants back, but this is… It’s as if someone cut the chord between Martyn and the shield. 

But Martyn would defend Ren with everything and more, so if it’s started to die, something is wrong.

There are still voices outside the shield he can hear. Someone is laughing, and the sound comes through the thick vines. 

“Holy shit, since when could you…?” someone says. His voice is harsh and tainted with a sadistic sort of glee that makes Ren’s skin crawl every time he hears it. 

The vines at Ren’s eyes start to clear, and he grabs at the top, trying to pull himself up. He shouldn’t draw attention to himself, but he wants to see Martyn is okay, that Ren was simply cut off… 

Ren doesn’t see Martyn. He peers over the shrinking wall for that familiar blond, but he doesn’t see it. The bandits, or whatever they were, don’t pay the vines any mind at all. They’re gathered nearby, standing over… something.

“I’ve never seen— did you see how much blood—?” another voice. Martyn’s shields are always so thick, the crumbling that overtakes them is much longer than any one off vine. Ren’s stomach turns as the vines crumble past his chest. What does that mean? Why is there blood? It can’t be Martyn’s, though, surely they’d notice if the blood was a god’s.

“I can’t believe you managed that in one hit.” Someone is laughing. Ren fumbles for the knife at his waist, not that it will do anything. Not that he’ll need it—Martyn is fine. He’s fine, and he wouldn’t let anything happen to Ren. 

“How hard did you hit him?” She’s looking down, though Ren can’t see at what. 

Martyn will be fine, he tells himself. The vines crumble away at his waist and past his thigh, and he doesn’t bother waiting for them to go any lower. He shoves himself over the shield as quietly as he can, but he’s still too loud. 

A bandit turns, and when he does, he steps back to reveal what they’ve gathered around. Ren sees a familiar shade of green fabric, crumpled to the ground. He’s on his knees, though his torso is pitched to the side, so Ren can’t see his face. 

Ren raises his knife. It isn’t threatening, not with the way his hand wavers, but he doesn’t care. 

“Step aside,” Ren commands, sounding far more authoritative than he feels. The bandit actually laughs. 

“What, you’re worried about your friend?” he asks. He’s big, much taller than even Ren. 

“Yes,” Ren admits, “Take what you want from me, just… step aside. Let me treat him.” 

The other bandit begins to smile. 

“You want to treat him, huh?” she asks. “I hope you’re a damn good doctor.”

She steps aside as well, finally revealing Martyn.

It’s not that Ren hadn’t been able to see Martyn’s face before he was slumped over. Martyn simply no longer has one. 

Martyn’s entire chest is splattered in shimmering red blood, down in places to his stomach. His body slumps sideways, leaking golden blood into the dirt. The cut looks clean, having cleared his head entirely from his shoulders. Ren doesn’t see his head, but he doesn’t look—hardly sees anything, really. His eyes are stuck on the fact the stump is still dripping, leaving a trail down Martyn’s shoulder and toward his hand, still curled around the withering vine that was once Ren’s shield. 

“Martyn…?” Ren whispers.

Ren doesn’t even care about the small crowd. He drops the knife and doesn’t think twice about pushing his way through to Martyn, dropping to his knees at Martyn’s side. 

“Martyn, come on,” Ren whispers, pleading, grabbing onto Martyn’s shirt. Somewhere behind him, someone laughs. 

“I don’t think your buddy’s recovering from this one,” she says. There’s footsteps behind him, but he ignores them, pulling Martyn against his chest to support Martyn’s weight. The wound is so much clearer like this, though Ren doesn’t dare look—the nauseating mix of gold, red, and green are enough to make something thick and heavy catch in his throat, and he can’t tell if it’s the promise of tears or the return of his lunch. 

Martyn isn’t… isn’t capable of dying. Martyn can’t die. He’s said as much a dozen times. Surely he’ll be fine, but maybe he just needs… 

Ren looks up, but the day is so cloudy, there’s no sun. Is that why Martyn… got hurt like this? Not enough sunlight to stay powerful? He’s in the soil, but Ren’s eyes are starting to blur so much that he can’t even see if Martyn’s grown roots. Surely he’s put down roots by now. He’ll need them to… heal. 

“Aw, I almost feel bad for him,” says someone. Ren doesn’t care who, his fingers tight in the soaked fabric of Martyn’s shirt. “Let’s see what plant boy died to keep from getting stolen, cuz it must be good.”

Ren shoves his face into Martyn’s shoulder. Blood soaks the skin around his eyes, but near instantly water clears it.

There’s a clattering of Ren’s bag being dumped open, but he can’t make himself care. The bag isn’t what Martyn died for and Ren knows it. 

Ren wraps his arms around Martyn’s chest, soaking both of them in blood. He’d usually wrap his arms around Martyn’s neck, but… 

God, they should have just handed over the stupid fucking bag. 

“Aw, what? There’s nothing good in here! Who gets fucking beheaded for a watering can?” 

Somewhere behind Ren is the clattering of metal on stone, and Ren’s blood would boil if his veins weren’t already shot through with ice. He wants them dead, but he can’t muster the rage for it. 

“This isn’t funny,” Ren whispers into Martyn’s shoulder. His voice breaks on something wet, and he shoves his nose further into Martyn’s body to hide it, “Please, this isn’t funny.” 

“It’s a li—“ starts a voice, but they cut themselves off. “What is that? What’s he doing?”

Ren doesn’t look. Before he can process the questions, he feels a hand on his back, familiar as Ren’s own. It snakes up the back of his neck, finding purchase in Ren’s hair and holding him in place. 

Ren knows Martyn well enough to know don’t look. He screws his eyes shut, and somewhere behind him, someone gasps. 

“What the fuck!?” “How did—?” “Drop the bag!” “Just run!” 

Ren hears footsteps more than anything, but no screams of pain. Martyn’s scaring them off, he supposes—he wishes they’d die, but he’ll manage. 

“You’d think,” coughs a voice, quiet and smug and achingly familiar in Ren’s ear, “if they’re going to comment on ‘so much blood,’ they’d at least look long enough to see it’s not normal.” 

Ren pulls his head back, but Martyn holds it in place. 

“Gimme a second. I’m not decent yet.” Martyn says, “You really don’t want to see me before I’ve put my face on, and growing something like that takes forever.” 

“I don’t care,” Ren says, “I’m really mad at you.” 

“What? I didn’t do anything.”

“Yes you did.” Ren’s hands cling hard to the fabric on the back of Martyn’s shirt. It’s damp, still. “Apologize.”

“No. What for?”

“I’ve never been so scared in my life,” Ren says, “You made me cry.”

“Thank you for that, by the way,” Martyn says, “Salt water isn’t ideal, but it can work in a pinch.”

For how callous he sounds, Martyn loosens his hand in Ren’s hair, petting his head. He threads his fingers through loose strands, carefully avoiding tugging on any tangles. 

“Thanking me for crying is worse,” Ren says, and he almost wants to sigh—only Martyn could get him to stop grieving because he’s annoyed. “You owe me an apology.” 

“Hmm,” Martyn says. He moves his hand to the back of Ren’s neck, scratching at the base. It feels nice, but Ren knows what he’s doing. 

“You aren’t weaseling out of this,” Ren decides, and this time when he pulls away Martyn lets him. 

“You’ve got blood on your face,” Martyn says, as if that’s noteworthy. Ren would hit him in the face if he weren’t so distracted by the fact Martyn had a face at all. 

His face is entirely free of blood. There’s a clear line in his neck where he lost his head—everything below is drenched red-gold, and everything above it is as clean as if he’d just bathed. He’s smiling, but his eyes betray that he’s worried. 

Ren wants to cry again. Just lost his head, and he’s looking at Ren like Ren is the one they need to worry about. 

“And whose fault is that?” Ren says. Martyn hums, removing his hand from Ren’s hair to cup his face. He lets go just as fast, tugging on part of Ren’s cloak to start clearing the blood away. 

Ren frowns. 

“You’re going to use my cloak?” Ren asks. 

“Mine’s too bloody, plus you’re already mad at me,” Martyn explains, shrugging. 

Ren wants to smack him. Ren wants to grab him and shake him. Ren wants to take his face into his hands and never let him go. Ren wants…

“I’ve decided how you can apologize to me,” Ren says. 

“I’ve done nothing to apologize for! It was those bandits!” Martyn says, arguing as Martyn commandeers his hands. “What do you want me to do?”

“Lean in,” Ren mutters, putting Martyn’s hands on his own face, “You’re too tall.”

“What?” Martyn asks, though Ren pushes closer to him. He tugs Martyn’s shirt, drawing him closer. When Martyn is only a breath away, Ren stops. 

“You scared me. I thought I lost you and I was more terrified than I’ve ever been in my entire life. You made me sob, Martyn,” Ren says, “So apologize. Unless you’re still too stubborn.”

“I’m…” Martyn says, and he swallows, and he’s close enough that Ren can feel him breathe. That could almost be an apology in and of itself—Ren will certainly accept the relief in that feeling alone. “I can do that.”

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

"Hey, whatcha up to today?" Evan says over the phone. He sounds like he just woke up, despite it being noon. "Wanna come over for a bit? Haven't seen you in forever"

That last statement unleashes butterflies in my stomach. He wants to see me...

"Of course. You sound really tired though. You sure?" I respond. He's been working a lot lately. 17 hour days he told me the last time we talked. Sometimes call time was at 4am. My body won't even wake up at that time. I don't know how he does it. And does it so well for that matter.

"Nah, I'm ok. I apologize if I yawn too much" he laughs a lazy laugh. Poor guy.

"Well I do want to see you. I don't have to stay long" I tell him I will be over shortly and hang up.

Im wearing baggy clothes and no makeup. But, I'm not sure it matters at the moment. Usually, Evan tells me I look good no matter how I look. I opt for at least some foundation, eye liner and my favorite lip gloss. I pull some hairs out of my pony tail to frame my face and spray some perfume. I feel good enough to head out. A lazy sort of cute.

I get to Evan's door and see his mailbox is a bit overfull, so I grab it for him and then knock. He opens the door and I almost don't recognize him. He's a bit on the thin side and he has dark circles under his eyes. I know his current role is physically exhausting and I bet he forgets or is too tired to eat much. I already know I'm not staying long so he can rest.

"Hey, babe" I say softly as I give him a quick kiss on the lips. Concern in my eyes.

"Hey. What's that look for?" He says jokingly

"You look really tired. I didn't have to come over today"

"Well, it's the only day I have for a few weeks and I didn't want us to fall to the wayside" he says with a half smile.

"This is your only day off??!. Ev, Geez...." I trail off and put my purse and his mail down on a side table by his couch.

I walk past his kitchen and I can see his dishes have not been done and his floor needs sweeping. His kitchen table has become a catch all. He has no time for anything. It is not at all like him. He's usually very tidy. He stopped hiring cleaning people because he can never find his shit after they move it. I know the mess is bothering him. But, maybe he's too tired to care.

He steps up to me and takes my face in his hands. He kisses me softly at first. And then more aggressive. After a few minutes he puts his forehead against mine and closes his eyes. He moans like it feels good to do so. " I wanted to see you so bad". His voice a bit shaky.

"You ok, sweetie?" I ask him. He nods his head yes.

"Mind if we sit for a bit. Maybe watch TV?" He asks me. I agree and we take a seat on his blue couch. It's ugly, but it's pretty comfy.

We sit in silence and then suddenly I feel him take my hand and interlace our fingers. He squeezes mine. My head turns to him and he looks on the verge of tears.

"Hey, there" I say softly and touch his face with my free hand. "You feeling weepy?" I smile

"Yea, I don't know why" he chuckles.

"You're tired and emotional. You're worse than a teenage girl with PMS" I laugh at my own joke.

"Gee thanks..." He says but I got a laugh out of him.

He speaks softly "I felt like I needed you today. I just needed to see you and talk to you. Nothing else mattered to me" He stares off to his dirty kitchen and sighs.

"Well, I'm here now sweetheart" I kiss his forehead "Why don't you go lay down and when you get up we can grab a bite. Either go out or order in. See how you feel?" I suggest.

He shakes his head no "Nuh uh. Not gonna ignore you to sleep. I'm ok."

"Well, I'm not staying long then" I suddenly have to pee. "Gonna use your half bath. Be right back."

I'm gone for less than 5 minutes and when I walk back into the living room I stop in my tracks. Evan is asleep on the couch and basically snoring. Protesting about sleeping tired him out, I guess. I chuckle quietly to myself. I walk over to him and cover him with a blanket. I lean down and kiss his head. He stirs as I freeze, but he quickly goes back to snoring. I look around and know right away what I'm gonna do now.

(to be continued)

you had me at the inclusion of the blue couch, anon.

[sylusjinwoon]

@bunny-kio said:

[My friend made me notice that since p is probably made by the most part of metal it means his hands are cold for most of the time right?🤔 what if when he wants to hold his darling he always has to think about it early so he has time to warm his hands up?😭

with the flamberge arm it would be much easier and fast, but in that case he would get worried its too much heat for your skin 😭

poor mechanical boi learns how to give affection like human but eventually messes up cutely]

this is honestly so cute, like to be honest, i don’t think p would ever use his flamberge arm to warm up his hands, since it would get extremely hot and it could potentially burn his beloved. 

i can see his darling becoming a bit saddened by his distance, and when they finally asks him why he hasn’t been so affectionate lately, he would finally relent and admit to them that he’s afraid of making them flinch with his cold body. catch his darling giving him a wide smile before bringing p into their arms while telling him, “don’t worry, pinocchio. let’s keep each other warm, your coldness doesn’t bother me at all.” 

[Sorry if im just leaving ideas here but ive rewatched the gameplay and brain went brainrot modeBUT BUT i couldn't help but notice how p is kinda... always like this 😐 AND ITS A LIL FUNNY-  (idk if they still have to give him expressions) So, What he is concious about this limit of his and tries to express his love to his darling in other ways?🥺 he doesnt want to come off cold with them, we can say that from here he grew an habit to be clingy and much affectionate with people he cares about 💗 ]

this is a very valid and canon observation. he doesn’t seem capable of showing or displaying emotions just yet. whether its because he simply doesn’t know how to, or his automaton body just isn’t suited to help him display emotions. 

of course, he’s aware of how...different his darling makes him feel and has a hunch that what he’s feeling is close to love, or at least a whisper of it. he knows that his darling is special to him. 

i can see him showing them his affections by acts of service, and simply by protecting them from the dangers seen around krat. he is both a sword and shield for them, and i know for sure that he’d lay down his life for his darling. 

as for acts of service, i can see him gifting them with any tiny trinkets he may find during his journey throughout krat 😌

[clay-core]

Never ever going to get over the fact that both Arizaphale and Crowley love each other to the fault of the relationship (at least at the end of S2 neil please im begging)

More below the cut bc this is so long, I am Azriaphale's number one defender because I have been in such the same position.

Aziraphale sees the fact that heaven is there to protect them, that heaven has done nothing but protect him and by extension Crowley. The bookshop is a heavenly outpost that he got to keep for some reason (if you are wanting context there is a scene in the script book that was cut from s1), they left him and Crowley alone after the events of s1 and the only reason that they are bothering him now is that Gabriel is in his bookshop, heavenly influence only comes and bother him and Crowley when there is evidence that there are high jinks afoot. They are not outwardly malicious to Azriaphale at least from his perspective, they have very questionable morals but they are supposed to BE good that is what heaven is, it is on the side of Good. Azriphale even says that same line in the confession gone wrong scene.

At least from what we have seen Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale anything about the bad things that are happening. He avoids saying what he really is meaning to. (ie: "You can't leave this bookshop [me]"

At the body switch at the end of S1 Aziraphale knows that Crowley is safe because they shifted back and he was the one in the holy water, He made sure of that but on the flipside, at least from the information that we have, and presuming that they don't talk about anything after the fact (they don't), Aziraphale has no idea of the things said to 'him' when Crowley was wearing his face.

Aziraphale knows very few things, Heaven is supposed to be Good, they are meant to be good because that is why God made them, Crowley is a good person deep down and only was curious and didn't lie about anything (something that He did do to the hosts of heaven about Job's children), and no matter what Crowley will always stick with him, despite their arguments.

Through s2 each one of these ideas that Aziraphale has, is placed under a microscope and scrutinized.

Heaven is supposed to be Good. That is why God made them. - Whoopies not so much, they are murdering children with their lack of action against hell. God created them to be on her side not on the side of Good.

Crowley is a good person deep down and only asks questions. - So far we only have one canon interaction pre-fall for Crowley and Aziraphale, so saying that that was the only interaction that they had (I am going to be operating under that assumption and just working within the canon of the series), Azirphale knows that Crowley was happy making stars and creating, and then he was no longer in heaven, then meeting him when he was in Eden post heavenly/hellish battle and he was the original tempter of Eve. Once again all he did was also ask questions, never really filtering the inconsistency and distrust he has of God, which can be spun in a distrust of Good in Aziraphales mind. This is then examined when he 'kills' Jobs goats and children, never actually killing them only putting them in a space that is safe. He is against murdering Children and killing innocence so he has to be good Right? (all this to be said Aziraphale has no idea of what Crowley will do if any harm comes to him)

Crowley is the one thing that will be consistent even when facing down heaven. - Oops not anymore, Crowley leaves him. Leaves him and lets him go up to heaven. He doesn't chase after him like he had been prior to this, he just watches and leaves. Whatever 6000 years they had together has gone down the drain with a kiss and Crowley's never-ending stubbornness. I think that one of the reasons he looks back is to tell Crowley it's not too late, they can do this together, he just needs to come with him up to heaven. Then Crowley just stands there watching, standing next to his material items and the elevator doors shut and there is a sealing of fate.

Looking at the timeline we have of the story, Azirphale knows So little of the bad things that have been done, mostly because Crowley is shielding him from it. Speculation here but Azriphale most likely knows Nothing about Crowley's fall or why he fell in the first place, he knows nothing of the threats made to his life either directly or indirectly, and all he saw was Crowley saying no absolutely not, why would we, after everything we have been though want to go back. I don't!

Aziraphale sees this as such a lovely and wonderful opportunity to be back in the safety of Heaven (of Goodness) and have the person he loves the most, back with him. And Crowley tells him no, we are better than that, you are better than that, treats him like he is an idiot ("I think I understand a whole lot better than you do") and then kisses him.

The shock of the confirmation that everything that he has been feeling for the past almost 100 years has been shared this whole time, and the sinking feeling that nothing will ever be able to come of it because this is a goodbye. Thats why he says "I forgive you"

Because as much as nothing physically lasts forever, Azriaphale thought at least they together would and they don't they share a painful goodbye and part ways.

TLDR: let them talk please for the love of God. Like actually talk, like lock them in a room and no matter how much Crowley wants to explode or Azriaphale wants to discorporate, they don't get to, they are forced in that box and cannot get out until they fix it

[sleepy-achilles]

LSD- Third wheel

Except its not Sheamus being the third wheel. And it's a list not a fic.

------------------------------------------------------------------1. Leon's belt/Sheamus favourite feature

Drew was the first to notice, but knowing Leon and Sheamus public relationship, he refuses to speak on it.

Leon rocks back and forth as he watches the usos ramble about something on the stage. It's a house show so he doesn't feel like it's that important to be full character. Especially as his dad never did.

He doesn't react as a arm wraps around his waist, a hand planting on his hip bone. He leans back against the body, nodding his head instead of moving his whole body.

Drew glances at the pair, sheamus head rested comfortably on Leon's shoulder, Leon rested comfortably against him.

Not a care in the world.

---

And then it followed them to the live shows.

"I mean what are you three supposed to do?" Roman asks. Drew steps forward to protect the other two. "I mean, you? Sure big guy, but those two clowns?" Roman nods. Drew lowers his mic and looks behind him. "Seriously?" He asks.

Sheamus is leaning in the corner, Leon pressed against his front with a arm wrapped around his waist. "What?" Sheamus asks. "Youve got this Darlin, we believe in you" Leon throws him a thumbs up. "Unbelieveable." Drew huffs turning back to Roman.

---

And then it followed them into their private life.

"Uh, two large meat slices and one mushroom and cheese slice please" drew orders at the pizza counter. The girl smiles and nods. Normally they try flirt with Leon, but for some reason, that isn't happening.

Drew pays and turns and sees exactly why. "Of course." Drew huffs. Sheamus has his arm around Leon's waist, neither man paying attention too busy looking at something outside and talking. "Why bother" drew huffs turning away.

---

Drew finally asks.

"Whats with the whole waist thing?" Drew asks one night in their lockeroom. "What waist thing?" Leon asks. "Sheamus and his arm around your waist" "Oh! I just really like Leon's waist. It's small and narrow, my arm fits perfectly" sheamus shrugs as if it's nothing. "He sometimes holds my pants up so I don't look weird." Leon shrugs. In other words, Leon didn't care. Yes, Leon's ring gear has been a bit on the big side lately, but when they aren't in the ring? Leon just doesn't want sheamus to know he doesn't mind it.

------------------------------------------------------------------

2. Flirts and flusters.

"Your eyes look really pretty today"

"Go away" Leon groans turning away from his supposed opponent. Sheamus smirks and lowers his mic. Drew takes the mic from Leon and moves towards sheamus. "Not you big boy. Him" sheamus smirks. "Enough" drew warns, glancing at Leon's flustered face.

Not that the fans would know. Leon only has one emotion on show. Only those like his family or friends know it.

Sheamus chuckles but backs up.

---

"I can't wait to get this show over with. A hot day like this? Riding on my baby shirtless is a dream" Leon huffs leaning back against the sofa. Drew shakes his head. "You know how I feel about that." Drew huffs. "You can always take it off now" sheamus smirks. "Go away" Leon huffs crossing his arms. "Which baby?" Drew asks. "Woah! You know my bike is baby, my car is Sweetheart" Leon snaps. "You're a sweetheart" sheamus sighs. Leon frowns and stands up. "Im getting us water" Leon states.

Drew shakes his head.

---

"Have I ever told you how pretty you are?" "Often, yes" Leon nods. "Good. You need to be told everyday" sheamus hums. Leon drops his mic and turns away, hiding his face against drew. Drew can't help but laugh, causing the other two to start laughing.

------------------------------------------------------------------

3. Leon and his babies.

"My babies are very dear to me, you got sweetheart and baby-" "and sheamus" sheamus pipes up getting laughs. Leon shakes his head.

--

"I got Baby, my motorbike, the first vehicle I ever got. And then sweetheart is the car my father gave me on my 18th. And then I have sheamus. My little parasite" Leon smiles. Sheamus smiles at him widely. Drew shakes his head and chuckles.

------------------------------------------------------------------

4. Sheamus and His Girl.

Leon growls and steps toward Sheamus, stealing drews mic. "You come out here again-" "Oh stop it Leona, nobody likes a tease" sheamus practically purs at him. Leon frowns and glares at him. Drew shakes his head as the pair stare at each other.

---

"I have a girl" sheamus smiles. Leon lifts his head. "Since when?" He asks. "You of course Leona" sheamus smirks. Leon hits his arm. "Ill get you for that one day." Leon warns. "Sure you will, leona"

Drew sighs.

---

"Lookin good Shay" Leon calls. Sheamus stops in the door, everyone glances at them. "Thanks girl." Sheamus huffs before leaving. Drew can't help but laugh as Leon rolls his eyes.

------------------------------------------------------------------

5. Anger and Protection

Sheamus was pissed, so pissed he grabs the pistol off the table. "Lee" drew snaps. Leon jolts forward, grabbing sheamus by the arm. "Let me go Lee!" Sheamus barks. "The fuck you gonna do? Shoot him!" Leon snaps snatching the paint gun off him. "Yeah, I am!" Sheamus snaps. "He can't talk to you like that" sheamus adds. "You're real sweet buddy but it's not worth it" Leon chuckles patting his back.

--

Leon was raging. You didnt have to know him to see that. His jaw was clenched tightly, his fists copying. His breathing was heavy and his eyes were burning into theory.

Leon goes to move forward when sheamus grabs his arm. "Not worth it buddy" sheamus mutters pulling him close. "Let me tear him a new one sheamus. You don't fuck with my sister and live" Leon growls. "Yeah, I know but instead of getting fired, let's take it out in the gym" sheamus coos moving him away. Drew watching them in awe.

--------------------------------------------------------------------A lil treat for ya, enjoy.

Sheamus pauses as the tree comes into sight. "Look man, no disrespect too your home land or shit but like this place scares me and I don't wanna be here when the sunsets" sheamus states. "Give him a minute" drew sighs, leaning against the tree. "Do you trust me?" Leon asks holding his hand out. "Of course." Sheamus nods. "Cmon then." Leon huffs pulling him by his hand.

Drew turns and watches and Leon leads him to the edge of the hill, both kneel. "Leo-" "Shh.. " Leon whispers. Drew smiles as the valley comes to life. "We aren't the only living things here. Everything has a name, a story" Leon explains, running his hand through the long grass. "Even the grass?" Sheamus asks. "The rocks, the water, the earth. Its all got a story" Leon answers. Drew smiles. He remembers their first date. Leon brought him here and showed him it. Its very special to Leon, if he shows you, he trusts you.

Sheamus tenses as a wolf appears next to him. "Hes a friend." Leon promises. That's when sheamus spots he's a ghost. The wolf howls before it shifts and wraps around them like a gust of wind.

Sheamus watches as Leon holds his arm out, leaves wrapping around them and shooting off towards the woods. "Look. Focus." Leon tells him. Sheamus glances towards the woods and watches as animals begin to approach from the trees, the ghosts of children follow. "Wow.." sheamus whispers. "The valleys children. The animals and the spirits of those who couldn't make it." Leon explains. Sheamus watches as the woods seem to glow. "This...this is beautiful..." sheamus admits quietly. Drew smiles.

"Yeah. It is." Leon nods, his eyes settled on a familiar adult ghost. "It always has been." Leon mutters as drew sits next to them, watching the children play.

Leon leans back, keeping his eyes on both men as they whisper amongst themselves.

[rayymanic]

05/29/2023

tw? kind of in detail/graphic talk of sh

Today was a very good day. I walked a mile, did a workout, and rollerskated. I also had a yogurt bowl which was very tasty! I didn't have any self harm urges until roughly ten minutes ago? I was just laying with my cat and i remembered pictures I had taken of my cuts and missed the feeling, but I got past it and did my face care routine to distract myself, worked wonders. I still feel off though, like something is missing. Ive been self harming for almost four years now and I always had open wounds. Ive come to realize that i dont feel like myself without open wounds. I know the feelings will pass and over time i will heal mentally and get out of this mindset, but it sucks right now.

While my stepmom was doing her daily bodycheck on me to make sure i havent cut, she mentioned taking me to see a dermatologist later on and having them prescribe a scar cream. I dont know why but this really bothered me. Ive told her and my other parents that i dont mind my scars because they are a part of me now and i want them to fade/heal naturally, and i dont know if they dont care what i think or if they dont like them. I dont want my scars to fade quickly. I have to live with the consequences of my actions. She makes me put on this over the counter scar cream every day and i hate it so much, i dont even have control of my own body at this point. Im pretty sure they want my scars gone because they think its ugly but i dont. i think its beautiful. it reminds me that i survived. and im proud of that.

My grandmother had to bodycheck me last week because i was at her house. she is a very conservative, christian woman who is known for being judgmental so i was scared. I mean she went outside and cried on the porch when she found out that im queer so i didnt know how she would take this She asked me how i cut and what i used and why i cut and she told me that its going to leave scars. im pretty aware of that, one look in the mirror and i can tell. she asked if she could take pictures , why would she need pictures? i told her no and she seemed to get a little more upset. i dont really like her,, she told my parents about my facebook account (i had them blocked) and got me in trouble so ,,

i was supposed to start therapy two weeks ago, but i didnt. my dad and stepmom are notorious for not taking my mental health seriously and putting things to do with it aside to do other, meaningless things. i was told im going to start this week but im not sure. the school therapist told me that im going to be doing two kinds of therapy - regular talk therapy and intense trauma therapy. my stepmom insists on doing trauma therapy with me and the school therapist accidentally let it slip that my "therapist" would tell my parents everything we talk about. how am i supposed to get better if i cant confide in my own damn therapist? does that not break the patient confidentiality rules therapists have? they think i was cutting because of the trauma i endured when i was 9-13 but its not. ive almost healed from what happened, the reason i was cutting was because i have severe chronic depression, my pills werent working, and i hate the enviorment im in. i hate the people, the scenery, everything. whats funny is my dad and stepmom are blaming everyone but themselves when they are the actual reason i was cutting. thanks dad! thanks for fucking nothing

on a brighter note, i reached 1 month sh free a couple days ago! thats really big for me, i havent gone over two weeks in years. im sorry this post is so long and messy, i just need to get how i really feel off my chest. i hope whoever reads this has a wonderful morning/day/night and has lovely dreams <3

this has a lot of spelling errors, its late at night. i should be sleeping,,,

[kitashousewife]

just another day

a/n: just been thinking about how tsukki is crabby, and even more on halloween

pairings: timeskip!tsukishima x fem!reader, university au

warnings: librarian!reader, testing and homework, tsukki being a grump, swearing, food mention, alcohol mentions, highly suggestive, lowercase intentional

-

usually, university halloween is packed with parties and drinking. but, not for you.

this year, you have to work. not only that, but you have a huge mid-term project and a few exams in the following days. the last thing you want to do is stay out late doing who knows what, with who knows who.

thankfully, you aren't the only one.

working in the library had its perks, that's for sure. a near-silent working environment, very little responsibility, and only answering the occasional question. most of your job is just checking out books and returning them to their homes on the shelves.

the best part of your job though, is seeing tsukishima every week day.

this semester you've worked mostly in the evenings until close, meaning every night it's just you and the few students finding solace in the confines of the library walls. tonight isn't any different. you've been sitting at the front desk, working on homework of your own here and there. studying for midterms has consumed most of your evening, and before you know it it's close to 11 pm: when the library finally closes its doors.

you sigh and stand up, stretching a little bit and feeling the effects that sitting for the past few hours have had on your body. you begin to walk around the library, doing your final checks to see if there are any lingering students left to warn them of closing time. each row is as empty as the others, and you begin to wonder if for the first time you truly are the only person here.

until you see him.

tsukishima sits at the same table, in the same chair, in the same part of the library every single time he comes here. as usual, he has his laptop, notebooks, 2 pens, phone, and water bottle set up around him on the table. you click your tongue and he looks up at you, eyes just as tired as yours.

"this is your-"

"fifteen minute warning, library closes at 11:00. i know, i know." he says, voice full of sarcasm as he imitates you. but you know there isn't any malice to it. he sighs and continues to type on his laptop, as if you weren't even there.

"why do i even bother?" you tease, voice just as friendly as his. when you walk away though, you see him start to pack up his things.

the next few minutes are spent double checking the book carts, locking the windows, wiping down the counters, and packing up your own belongings. right at 10:55, tsukishima walks up to the front desk.

"hope i didn't keep you late on halloween. im sure you hoped you wouldn't see me," he smirks at you, hands wrapped around the straps of his backpack.

"why is that?" you mumble, eyes fixed on the school computer as you log out for the night.

"i'm sure you would have loved to get out of here early, especially on halloween. if i didn't show up you probably could have."

flicking off the lights behind you, you let out an airy laugh. "i'm not authorized to shut down the library early. with or without you in it."

tsukishima holds the door open for you, watching you walk through before you lock the doors, pulling on them for good measure. you hiss as the cold air hits your face, lips turning into a frown.

"since you worked, im assuming there aren't any crazy halloween activities on your to do list?" he looks down at you, suppressing a smile as you dig around in your pockets for your bus pass.

"no," you start, letting out a sigh of relief when your fingertips feel the plastic in your coat pocket. "unfortunately for me, i have a midterm tomorrow. what about you, tsukki?" you give him a teasing smile, laughing as he rolls his eyes at the nickname. he shrugs.

"it's just another day. besides, i would rather get work done than get fucked up on a monday night," his comment earns a snort from you, shaking your head as the two of you walk through campus to the bus stop.

your relationship with tsukishima is funny. you met him a few months ago while working in the library. you helped him connect to one of the printers, after you watched him struggle with it on his own for 10 minutes. ever since then, you've stopped to talk to him each day he studies. you know he plays volleyball, you know he works at a museum a few days a week, and you know where he's from. you aren't totally sure of his first name, but you know it starts with a "k" after you caught a glance of his ID one night. you know he has a friend, a sweet boy named yamaguchi who studies with him from time to time. and sometimes, just like tonight, the two of you ride the bus together to the student apartments.

you also know he’s incredibly attractive.

"so you're just boring," you quip as the two of you reach the bus stop, looking up at him with a grin as you sit on one of the benches. he joins you, smirking to himself at how flustered you get when he sits a little closer than normal, knees almost touching.

"i wouldn't call it boring. i would call it responsible, productive even."

you hum, squinting down the street as you see the bus approaching.

"well then, what are you going to do tonight?"

"let's see," he murmurs and pulls out his phone. scrolling through the notifications on his screen, his lip is pulled between his teeth. another habit you've noticed. "it looks like tadashi is busy," he watches your brows furrow. "yamaguchi, i mean." you nod, standing up as the bus slows to a stop. "if he's busy, that means i don't have any plans."

tsukishima steps to the side, allowing you to walk on the bus first. you sit down and he sits next to you. his excuse is that the other seats are taken. sure, he could stand. but he thinks you're pretty cute. he could spend his time studying literally anywhere else. and he wouldn't tell you, but he actually hates the library. it's too cold and the wifi isn't as strong in there.

the pretty librarian makes it worth it.

maybe it's because you're exhausted, or overly stressed, or both. those are the only reasons you would do this.

"do you want to come over?" your voice shakes slightly, nerves taking over more and more with each word. “i know you aren’t a fan, but we could study and maybe play a halloween movie in the back ground,”

tsukishima's heart races. he never, ever, thought you would ask him to hang out first.

"s-sure," he stutters, staring at his phone in an attempt to look unbothered. the bus stops with a lurch forward, copying both of your stomachs.

"um, just follow me i guess," you laugh nervously, and tsukishima just wants to hold your hand, touch your face, something. anything to get a little bit closer to you. but for now he follows behind you to your apartment. when you unlock it and welcome him in, he isn't sure what to do with himself. the intimacy of it all, seeing your own space and everything that makes you, you is overwhelming. the smell of clean clothes, a fall candle that he can't quite put his finger on, and-

"peppermint tea?"

you turn around with pure confusion written on your face.

"huh?"

he could slap himself, mortified that he said that out loud. he toes off his shoes, pushing them to the side as he sets his backpack next to them.

"i just smelled it, that's all. it smells nice," his voice is quiet, embarrassment and nerves to blame.

"oh! yeah, i just got it actually. would you like some?" you turn over your shoulder as you reach for your kettle. he nods and pulls out his laptop.

"that would be great, if you don't mind. thank you," he fidgets with his glasses, pushing them up his nose. you start to fill up the kettle, smiling at his politeness. who would have thought the snarky, aloof man that sits in the library for hours would be such a softie?

"you can sit on the couch if you would like, or the table, or the floor," you ramble on, scared that if you say the wrong thing he will just get up and leave. which of course is far from the truth, but you wouldn't know that.

"couch is fine," he replies, plopping down and flipping his laptop open. you bring over some mugs, tea bags already resting at the bottom of them. honey and sugar are placed beside them, everything ready for when the water heats up. tsukishima thinks it's sweet, how much you're doing for him.

"so," you sit next to him, a full body length away. much different than how you two were on the bus only minutes earlier. "what are you working on?"

"right now, just editing a paper. i was hoping to finish it earlier, but some girl kicked me out of the library."

you snort, setting your laptop on the coffee table. you open your notebook and pull out a pen, ready to finish up your notes.

"studying?"

you nod, lips pulling into a shy smile. "yeah, for my exam tomorrow. i just need to transfer these to my notecard," you wave the notecard back and forth. "not that it will help me any,"

tsukishima types away, eyes fixed on the screen. but, he can't help but ask. plus, he can't stop stealing glances at the way you chew the tip of your pen. he's dying to see if your lips are as soft as they look.

"why do you say that?"

you groan. "cause honestly i don't know shit about this subject, let alone anything we've studied so far. besides, i-oh shit," you're cut off by your pen flying out of your hand and into the cracks of the couch cushions. you start feeling around for it, growing frustrated quickly.

"do you only have one pen?"

"well no," you huff, digging around for it. tsukishima sighs and turns to face you, giving in to help you. the more you search, the closer you get to him, you're unaware that he's right in front of you until his fingers brush yours.

"oh," you breathe. when you look up you're face to face with the boy that makes you excited to come to work. his heavy-lidded eyes are staring at your lips, cool breath tickling your cheeks. you copy him after a couple seconds, eyes flicking down to his lips, right as he wets them with his tongue.

the hand that was on top of yours reaches up, his pointer finger tilts your chin up, and he leans in even closer.

"you should be more prepared," he breathes, fighting his instincts to lean forward and press your lips to his.

"should i?" you whisper back. he hums, and with one last glance to your lips, leans in. weeks of tension are finally about to snap, melting away on your lips.

right before you two connect, a sharp whistle from the kettle cuts through the air. the two of you jump, pushing back from each other. tsukishima's cheeks are dusted pink, lips slightly parted and his glasses have slipped down his nose slightly. you're not any better; cheeks warm, pupils blown, and heart racing.

"s-sorry, let me grab that," you scramble out of your seat and shuffle to the stove, taking the kettle off as quick as you can.

tsukishima tries to calm his breath back down before you come over. he can't think straight. adrenaline is pumping through his veins. he feel so intoxicated, and he hasn't even kissed you yet. let alone hugged you, or held hands, or-

"tsukishima? did you still want some tea?"

he focuses once more and blinks up at you, holding the kettle carefully, giving him a nervous grin.

"y-yeah i would love some, please," he breathes, taking off his rub his eyes a little in hopes of clearing his mind. you pour some water in each mug before returning to the kitchen. tsukishima wakes his computer up once more in hopes that he can finish this paper and get to bed at a decent hour.

meanwhile, you're stalling in the kitchen as long as you can. you don't want to sit down. you wish the kettle never went off. who knows what you would be doing right now. you want more of him, you want to ignore homework and talk for hours with him.

"tsukishima, what's your name?"

"didn't you just say it?"

his snarky comment is almost comforting, helping you to feel a little more at ease with his much more normal behavior.

"you know what i mean. what's your first name? i know it starts with a ‘k’. you know mine, so it's only fair that i know yours," you explain, toeing on your slippers before sinking into the couch.

"you wear a name tag, of course i know your name."

you huff and pull your notes out once more.

"it's kei," he turns to face you.

"kei," you repeat back. tsukishima could scream right now. he knows that he's impatient, he knows that he tends to have a shorter fuse. but this? this is torture.

"could i get a glass of water?" he stands up and looks towards the kitchen, desperately hoping that you come with him.

"oh, yeah! let me show you where it is," you stand up and follow him into the kitchen, about to reach your arm out to point towards the cupboard of cups when he grabs your hand, pulling you towards him. you gasp, and before you can form the words he pulls you in, pushing his lips against yours. you feel like melting, lips moving together perfectly, the softness of his kiss versus the harshness of his movements making you dizzy. you pull away to catch your breath, and when you look up you're met with a very needy tsukishima. pupils blown wide, glasses tilted slightly, hair sticking out in places where your hands had just been.

"kei-"

"how much do you care about that test?" he breathes, taking his glasses off and placing them on the counter behind you.

"n-not as much as my others i guess, but-"

"great," he whispers, picking you up and placing you on the counter and pushing your legs apart so he can stand in between them. you squeal at the sudden movement, feeling dizzy once more at how easily he lifted you onto the counter.

"cause i don't give a fuck about my paper either," he whispers against your jaw, reveling in the small gasp he gets out of you at the action. "i can't seem to focus on anything,"

you slide your arms down his biceps, distracted by the sound of your heart thumping in your ears. you have never felt this way, felt this electric from a simple kiss. you look into his eyes once more and lean up to where your lips barely meet.

"prove it."

[prettyboykatsuki]

»» — {♡} —— { ♡ } —— {♡} — ««

comforting sleep deprived s/o | bnha

➳ incld  ;; bakugo and kirishima 

➳ warnings ;; none, just fluff, pro-hero!au 

➳ wc ;; 1.8k overall. 

➳ a/n ;; i haven’t slept properly in days. running on empty so this is how im coping. i love them. 

»» — {♡} —— { ♡ } —— {♡} — ««

i. bakugo katsuki 

- doesn’t like napping cause he insists on keeping his sleep schedule tight. not that you can really get mad at him over that - hero work is busy and he doesn’t like being tired cause it makes him more aggravated than usual. 

- so he avoids naps almost at all costs and rarely gets tired. his sleep schedule is really, really good. 

- not so much the same for you though. 

- bakugo accepted pretty early on that you were something of a night-owl. bad sleep anxiety and just generally having too much energy at night made it so that he rarely ever saw you go to bed. you were at least lagging a few hours behind him like. at all times. 

- he didn’t really mind at first, but at some point he realized just how little sleep you actually got. one time he woke up at 7am, surprised to see you also awake - only to find out you hadn’t slept the entire night. 

- he was pissed. after almost blowing up your kitchen, he sighed and basically told you that if you need helping sleeping to just “fucking ask him” or else. 

- needless to say, it didn’t get that much better. you two compromised by setting a time that you had to be in bed by, even if you weren’t asleep. whenever bakugo has time, he’s always trying to get you to rest but sometimes his schedule doesn’t really allow him to check up on you how he likes. 

- he’s coming home from a long mission. not super tired but just tedious work. he just wanted to relax. it was late, 3:37am on the clock when he finally walks in. 

- to his surprise - there’s a light on in the kitchen. when he walks in, very confused, he sees you sliding cookies off of a sheetpan into a little plastic tupperware. he stops. he stares. 

- why the hell were you baking at three in the fucking morning 

- “what the fuck are you doing awake?”

- you jump back with a hand over your chest, barely catching your breath. you blink a few times before sighing. 

- “baking. i didn’t think you’d be home so soon” 

- he hears it before he sees it. your voice is absolutely tattered - he can literally hear how exhausted you are. he pumps the breaks, walking towards you swiftly before staring down at you hard. 

- “when was the last time you slept,” 

- you press your lips into a tight smile, and he sees the dark purple under your eyes. he feel his heart hurt a little. his hands come up to your face as he brushes his thumb every so slightly against your lashes. 

- “it’s uh.. hard to sleep without you. more than usual, you know” 

- “Y/N” 

- “i don’t know. maybe two or three days ago properly? i mean i got some sleep in between but -,” 

- he stops you before you can start. he shuts the cookie container and leaves the tray in the sink before grabbing your hand a little forcefully and tugs you to the bathroom - lifting you up onto the counter. you know to stay put. 

- when he comes back it’s with a fresh change of clothes for the both of you. you blink at him owlishly as he strips himself off of his clothes - grateful he took time to shower at the agency. 

- he takes his shirt off and then takes yours off too, before pulling you right towards him. your arms instantly are around his neck, the warmth of his body pressed against your figure with his chin tucked over your shoulder. 

- and god - he’s so comforting you kind of want to cry. he smells like clean soap and deodorant and a little like smoke. feeling his skin against yours makes you feel instant relief. just hugging in the bathroom has you falling half asleep. you were just so tired. 

- when he pulls back, his whole face looks so damn worried it makes you want to cry. you put your own hands on his face and cheek, brushing your thumb on his cheek bone as he rests his forehead on yours. 

- “dumbasss. i can leave something with you if it’s that bad - fuck, you could’ve called me, you know?” 

- and you sigh and smile and kiss him a bit before pulling away again. man, you’re tired. you’re so, so tired. 

- “yeah.. i know,” 

- he helps you get undressed and freshened up, even rubs your facewash into your skin and rubs all your skincare in before hauling you off the bed. he turns the lights dim and just holds you, rubbing circles into your back as he holds you right to his chest. 

- “go to fucking sleep,” “love you katsuki” “..love you too” 

- he doesn’t sleep until you do, and wakes up the next morning to call in sick for you while you sleep against his chest. he should probably wake up but.. sleeping a bit longer won’t kill him. 

{♡} —— { ♡ } —— {♡}

ii. kirishima eijirou 

- kirishima likes to wake up pretty early so he can workout and do his cardio at the start of his day and his weightlifting later on. sleeping well is important to him cause his workout routine is super unforgiving if he’s not resting properly on rest days and the like. building muscles absolutely requires sleep! 

- that being said - he doesn’t mind not sleeping early if he has something to do. drinking especially normally keeps him up on weekends. overall, it was good but he doesn’t limit himself. 

- overall, it’s not something he paid a ton of attention too. life is all about balance so kiri goes with the flow. his rule of thumb is trying to get at least 8 hours a night tho. 

- but because kirishima is so go with the flow - it took him a long time to figure out that you were a night owl and something of an insomniac. he assumed that when he wished you goodnight everday, you fell asleep around the same time as him. 

- but one drunken even, he finds himself stumbling to your apartment. knocking on your and barely standing upright - he immediately is planning on apologizing for disturbing your sleep. 

- but then you.. open the door and you’re literally wide awake. you look tired but you’re clearly not sleepy. kirishima, once gain, blasted - pushes the thoughts to the back of his mind and grins toothily. he’s just excited to see you at that point and forgets about the whole ordeal until a few weeks later. 

- he ends up texting you about it a couple weeks later, assuming it’d be a once off thing that you’d explain to him. 

- ... is upset and shocked to learn that you rarely, if ever fall asleep before two am like on a good day. poor man is in shock for the rest of the day and proceeds to ask you about why you have a hard time to sleeping to try and see what he can do. 

- he wants to help but you just keep brushing it off and it honestly made him so upset he didn’t know what to do with himself. he couldn’t sleep a wink that night because the whole thing is bothering him so damn much. 

- what really sets him off is when he finally has a chance to see you after a few weeks. you were busy with uni and didn’t really have a ton of time to see him so the two of you couldn’t see each other properly for a few weeks. 

- he’s elated to see you. he’s missed his baby so much and he’s pulling all the stops out when he’s getting dressed. jeans cuffed, his best cologne, fresh shaved, brand new sneakers. he really wants to impress. 

- he’s wrapping you up into the tightest hug when he see’s you. your dressed comfortably but he still thinks you look so beautiful and he’s complimenting you, giving you kisses and overall just doting on you. he wraps your hand in his yours and just talks. 

- in fact, he’s so excited to see you, he doesn’t notice how..deflated you are. not at first anyways. 

- but as the date goes on, it becomes more and more obvious you don’t share his enthusiasm in the same way. 

- sure, he’s talkative but you haven’t said a word about how your week has been. all of his jokes have been met with mere huffs and forced chuckles and your eyes seem really distant. 

- it hits him all at once at the end of your date when you just seem so... out of it. he’s about to take you somewhere else but you stopped listening a while ago. kirishima stops dead in his tracks and holds your hand nervously, calling you a few times to get your attention. 

- “Y/N.. are you mad at me? is something wrong?” 

- your eyes go wide, flailing your hands to reassure him. you knew you were acting strange but to see kirishima this upset makes you feel awful. 

- “oh kiri - god no, it’s not you. sorry for being so.. distant - it’s not you,” 

- “well then.. what’s wrong?” 

- kirishima feels his heart get pierced when he sees you laugh. you look... so exhausted. your eyes are so heavy and the makeup on your skin is only barely concealing your dark circles. why did it take him so long to notice? 

- before he can even reply, he remembers that little tidbit about your sleep schedule. his heart so genuinely aches. 

- “Y/N.. when was the last time you got any proper sleep?” 

- you flinch, visibly at the question. with an awkward laugh you inform him that it had been at least a week since you’ve had the time to actually sleep. 

- “why didn’t you sleep today? on your day off?” 

- “i uhm.. wanted to see you. i know you had a date planned and i was excited to see you. sorry for.. ruining your plans” 

- he’s devastated by how cute you are. hugs you so damn tight. 

- “baby, you can see me whenever. im happy being with you even if all we’re doing is napping together” 

- when you mumble a soft “oh” in his chest, he can’t help but melt into a sigh. before you can protest, he’s dragging you back to his car and driving you home ignores your protests and buckles you, covering you with his jacket before kissing the crown of your head and telling you to sleep on the way back to his place. 

- he watches you like a hawk the whole time until he arrives at his place. he wakes you up and carries you on his back until he gets inside. all he does is kick his shoes off before pulling the full weight of you down on his body, kissing your whole face. 

- “sleep well baby. ill wake you up in a few” 

»» — {♡} —— { ♡ } —— {♡} — ««

[pwarkluv]

❝ idk you yet ❞ - p.js

park jisung x reader | angsty, fluff | 1.6k words 

WARNINGS | TW: mentions blood, abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, smoking, lowercase au, non-idol au, high school au, badboy!jisung, mature language/cursing, reader is like an angel sent from heaven for him, jisungie just in need of love :(

SUMMARY | being an outcast has him wondering if he’ll ever be happy. cue you, the new girl, stumbling into his life (literally).

AUTHOR’S NOTE | inspired by the song “idk you yet” by alexander23! also AHHH this is my 100 followers special fic :) THANK U LOVES FOR 100 IM SO SHOCKED CJSBFKEJD <33 the writing is a little crappy because i’m currently on my period and my patience for sitting down and writing this went down halfway through lol but I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, ENJOY THIS JISUNG FIC BC JISUNG MY BABIE AND SO ARE YOU GUYS!

whenever anybody thinks of park jisung, they think of the chains and dark clothing he wears. they think about the faint smell of smoke and men’s cologne that follows him wherever he goes. 

they think of the boy who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks. 

but what they don’t think about are bruises on his face he fails to hide whenever he walks into school, the dejected look on his face whenever random people give him disapproving looks, the way his smile slowly faded into a permanent frown wherever he went. 

jisung quickly accepted his reputation at school and in their little town, not having enough energy to feel insecure about it like before.

the only group of people that even remotely cared about the boy were his best friends in the whole entire world, nct dream.

they were outcasts just like him, the most “fucked up group of boys” in their town (the people’s words, not theirs).

see, they were your typical bad boy group straight out of your typical fanfic. bad grades, smoking in their free time, getting into fights, always being late to class; not a single person had hope in them.

but behind their scary and intimidating facade, all seven boys were big softies with misunderstood hearts and difficult backgrounds.

people were just too dense to look into it, only judging them based on their looks and personality on the outside. 

❝ how can you miss someone you’ve never met ❞

love was a foreign thing to jisung, the only form of love he’s ever felt being from his friends. his parents were… interesting to say the least. 

jisung’s father was a hard-core alcoholic, his mother being a major druggie. with no siblings in the house, jisung was usually their main target to push around and beat up.

and so because of this at a young age jisung learned to distance himself from other people and found different ways to release stress.

he started smoking when he was 14, the warm and hazy feeling of the smoke entering his lungs comforting him.

if jisung humored himself enough, maybe smoking could count as his first love. it was always there for him, never leaving him alone even if he wanted to quit. 

he relied on it knowing it was the only constant in his life. 

now of course the boy has heard of proper love, love like in the movies or shitty romance songs he hears on the radio.

and he won’t lie, there were moments he thought about what it felt like to be in love. but he knew that would never happen, at least not in their small town anyways. 

he just wanted to be loved. 

jisung would never admit it but sometimes he’d be jealous of the old couples walking down the street in their own world like it was just them two against the universe. he was jealous of the happy kids running around, their mother’s and father’s fondly smiling at their child. he was jealous of all the “normal” kids in his neighborhood. 

jisung wanted that, craved that. 

but most importantly, the boy wanted love.

❝ cause i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞

everything hurt. 

his head, his body, his mind, his heart; everything was in pain.

jisung walked down the empty streets of their city, a trail of blood following behind him as he accepted his fate. the boy was 99% sure he had a concussion and at the very least had a few broken ribs. 

he felt like this was the end, and he was ready.

-

wandering aimlessly around town, you decided to take a late night walk to familiarize yourself around the area. you had just moved into the city a week ago, spending all seven days trying to help your family unpack and rearrange your cozy new home. 

now that you were finally free of the smell of tape and the dust of the boxes, you decided it was best to get to know the place you were living in. 

the autumn air seemed to settle at night as you shivered, cursing yourself for not bringing a jacket of some sort. the sight of a convenience store up ahead of you brought you relief as you rummaged through your pockets wondering if you had enough money for ramen.

your steps became excited as you found a couple dollars, fondly thinking about what type of ramen you should buy. you became so lost in your thoughts you didn’t even notice the poor boy who was staggering in front of you, or the trail of blood he left behind. 

-

jisung pushed himself to reach the convenience store a couple feet away from him, in desperate need of supplies to at least try and fix himself. 

if it didn’t help in any way then oh well, maybe death was indeed an option. 

grinding his teeth though the pain, he did not expect to feel a small body bump into him. had he been at his regular health, jisung would’ve easily been able to keep still but because of how much blood he was losing the boy was knocked down like a bowling pin.

“holy fuck.” jisung cursed the feeling of the concrete floor colliding with his ribs. he didn’t even notice the girl who had bumped into him sitting on the floor dumbfounded, freaking out over his state.

“oh my fucking god.” the girl said, capturing his attention. jisung glared at the stranger, mentally acknowledging the fact she was pretty. 

but her being pretty won’t get you anywhere, he scolded himself. she’ll leave you just like everyone else.

“a-are you okay?” she said, eyes glancing at his black eye. jisung rolled his eyes, already annoyed. “does it look like i’m okay?” he replied, his deep voice catching the girl off guard. 

“just, fuck off.” jisung said closing his eyes as he laid back down on the floor, knowing he couldn’t force himself to get up anymore. he didn’t even have to open his eyes to know she left, hearing the sound of her footsteps walk away.

the boy sighed as he laid idly on the floor, wondering what sin he committed to lead him to where he is now. not even she wanted to stay, the tears threatening to fall as his thoughts buried him alive.

“why can’t i just die?” jisung said out loud, asking no one but himself.

“because i won’t let you.” a voice replied as jisung forced himself to sit up in confusion. it was the same girl he had bumped into, but this time she had a first aid kit with her. he gave her a lost look despite knowing what she was here to do. 

jisung’s mind just couldn’t wrap around the fact that a total stranger would even bother to help him. 

“now sit up.” she said softly as she bent down to open the box, the boy slowly followed her instructions. “i’m sorry this might sting.” she said though jisung didn’t mind because she was much prettier up close.

-

the next ten minutes were you trying to fix his wounds against the shitty chairs outside the convenience store.

jisung didn’t even bother mentioning his broken ribs, not wanting you to freak out. you cleaned up what you could and the boy was beyond grateful for that.

you subconsciously rubbed his back in a comforting way whenever you’d apply alcohol to his open wounds, trying to ease the sting. you held his hand for him to hold and though he was a big boy and had a high pain tolerance, he still gave it a squeeze just to keep your hand there.  what the actual fuck is this feeling, jisung asked himself as he watched your determined figure work on him.

it was cold and in order to better work on his wounds, the boy offered to give you his hoodie which strangely had no traces of blood on it. you gladly accepted, the faint smell of blood and his cologne engulfing you up. 

the sight of you in something so big and so him made his chest swell in pride.

jisung couldn’t even formulate a sentence as you cursed at the time once you finished patching him up, fleeing the scene before he could say anything with a small smile, his hoodie still on. 

❝ and can you find me soon because i’m in my head ❞

the thought of your soft hands on his, your voice, your whole presence; everything about you couldn’t seem to leave the poor boy’s mind. it was now monday, and waiting for his class to start already made him want to go home.

if only i got her name, jisung daydreamed with his head resting on the palm of his hand. the classroom was loud and bright, people occasionally giving him looks but the boy didn’t mind. 

“jisungie~ did you hear we have a new kid?” jaemin asked, poking the boy’s cheeks. the boy only gave him a pointed look before sighing. 

“hyung i don’t really care.” jisung replied, looking back out the window. 

jaemin only gave him an offended look before grumbling a bit. “i don’t know maybe you will.” he muttered under his breath as their teacher walked into the room. 

❝ yeah i need you now but i don’t know you yet ❞

their homeroom teacher stood in front of the class, jisung tuning out his voice. the boy once again sighed as his teacher called for their attention, explaining they had a new girl in their class. “now make her feel welcomed,” he said before turning towards the door.

“y/n, please come in.” the teacher said and jisung almost fell out of his seat when he saw you walking through the door with the same smile you gave him a couple days ago.

“hi i’m y/n and i hope we can get along.” you bowed to the class, a familiar hoodie you were wearing catching his attention. 

isn’t that mine, jisung thought to himself as he bit back a smile knowing you kept it all along. 

[lfc21]

Birthday promises

It was your daughters ninth birthday and it was the most perfect day during the morning your daughter loved every one of her presents and couldn't wait to play with them all. Jordan had been so excited for her to open the gifts he had personally chosen for her as he had a sneaky suspicion that you choose all the best gifts for her. Most of the time he was right.

"Happy birthday to you" everyone sang gathered around the dining room table as you carried in the pink princess cake over to your daughter sat at the table. Her eyes fell open in awe of the bright girly cake beneath her eyes which she couldn't wait to eat and occasionally smudge in her dad's face which you taught her to do on every single birthday of hers.

"Wooow" your daughter said looking at all the princesses on it which she loved.

"Blow the candles out darling! Make a wish" jordan said cheering on his little girl as all his friends and family watched your first born enjoy her birthday.

"Done it" your daughter replied with a wide smile as she blew the candles out as hard as she could. You tuck the cake into the kitchen getting ready to cut it. As soon as you got one slice from the gorgeous pink cake your best friend came running around the corner with a huge smile on her face.

"What?" You said with a scared look on your face as you knew your best friend was about to tell you something you didn't want to hear.

"Well jordan has just said he will stay up all night making all that lego, that was what the wish was" she said laughing as she knew you would not be able to be bothered with that wish. You looked at her with a laugh.

"Oh for god sake it will take me all night and morning!" You announced placing all the slices onto plates getting ready to take out into the living room where everyone was now sat.

"Before you asked im not helping" your best friend replied back quickly walking out the door with a few plates of cake to help you. You couldn't believe you where going to have to spend all night figuring out how to put together a huge lego hotel.

-

"No y/n that's not where it goes, babe give it here" jordan said realising something had gone wrong as you had made a huge mistake on the reception of the hotel.

"Oh my days! I think im going to cry" you joked as you couldn't help but want to give up as you had spent 2 hours on the whole thing so far and everything you touched seemed to have not worked. You had been sat on the floor in Jordans hoodie, shorts and glasses coupled with a messy bun all night and you didn't think you could do it much longer. You watched jordan try to figure out the mistake and make it better, he was in his own little world wanting to make his daughters wish come true as lego was apparently his best skill other than football of course. You eyes felt heavier and heavier at every action jordan made realising you where becoming extremely tired very quickly due to all the party prep and activities that went on today.

"Babe go up to bed im sure I wount be much longer" jordan softly said noticing your eyes slowly closing shut as your hand rested on your face keeping your body up. You smiled over at your boyfriend slowly getting up and saying by to your dog half asleep on the couch.

"Goodnight Jords dont be to late to bed" you said leaning down to your husband and planting a kiss to his head as he smiled feeling your presence.

"Goodnight Mrs" he said with a smug smirk as he loves to call you Mrs whenever he can. You went straight to bed feeling the exhaustion taking over your body and sending you into a deep sleep just like your children where who had no idea there dad was up at all hours trying to finish a lego hotel.

-

You woke up to the sound of birds tweeting at your window yet the room was still dark. You looked over at the time and seen it was half 7 in the morning and you couldn't figure out why you had woken up so early. You realised jordan was no where near to be soon which you wasn't expecting ad you thought he would of come home. You got out of bed and made a beeline down the stairs opening the living room doors. You immediately saw jordan fast asleep on the living room couch with a completely finished hotel sat nicely in the middle of the floor. You walked over to jordan plating a small kiss on his forehead.

"Good morning jordan" you softly said trying to wake him up to get him to come back to bed where it was far comfier than sleeping downstairs in the cold. Jordan shifted under your touched and slowly opened his eyes immediately smiling up at you.

"Babe you fell asleep" you laughed sitting down next to his tired body as you carefully rested his head on your thighs, running your hand through his hair.

"I don't even remeber, I was so tired" he replied back rubbing his hands on his eyes as he started to adjust to the bright lights of the living room ceiling. You smiled down at him realising how selfless he was when it came to you and your kids.

"Mummy! Daddy!" Your daughter ran down the stairs looking for you both in excitement to start playing with all her new toys. She pushed open the living room doors seeing you both on the couch.

"Daddy did you do the ho-" she said stopping suddenly as she saw the large lego building in the middle of the room.

"Yaaaay thank you daddy" she cheered jumping onto jordan with a huge smile, she wrapped her arms around his neck in the cutest hug being very thankful for his actions.

"It was your birthday promise darling" he softly said kissing her head with a heart full off joy at his daughter being so thankful.

[jackrrabbit]

Sleepless /// Tanjiro x f!reader (18+)

Request: Hi!! I'm not entirely sure on how to request since this is my first time EVER requesting something here on tumblr 😳😳 so im not sure if im doing this right,,,but um,,,,could you do a soft dom! tanjiro kamado x reader nsfw??? (he's aged up of course)

A/N: Y’all I’ve been working on this practically since I made this gd blog…idk why it took so long since I LOVE the concept. Reader is a traumatized bby who just needs her kitty licked  ✊😔 and honestly same

Tags/warnings: soft dom, daddy vibes but without the ‘daddy’ (onii-chan vibes?), brief mentions of past demon violence & PTSD, fluff?, historical inaccuracies probably, reader is implied to be inexperienced, mild overstimulation, lowkey yandere lowkey romantic who knows, all characters are adults

It starts out with little things. Harmless things. Tanjiro sees you barely ate anything at dinner, and later that night he comes to your bedroom with a plate of food for you. “You should eat,” he tells you.

“I’m not hungry,” you say, almost a little petulantly. The food looks good and you know he’s trying to be nice, but you’re not a child. You can take care of yourself, and even when you can’t it’s not his job to do it for you.

“Eat,” he says again softly. It’s not a command. It’s like he already knows you’re going to eat, and he’s just patiently waiting for you to give in.

You pick up the chopsticks and eat the food he prepared for you. All of it. Tanjiro sits there and watches and then when you’re done, he smiles at you and pats your head and takes the plate away. You think it’s weird, but the next morning you don’t question it. He’s a big brother to everyone—doesn’t it make sense that he would want to make sure you’re eating enough?

He probably can’t help it.

You decide you’re going to let it slide, until a few days later after breakfast with him and the others when Tanjiro pulls you aside and holds your face in his hands and tells you you’re looking a little tired lately—are you getting enough sleep?

The truth is that you aren’t. You want to deny it, but somehow you have a hard time lying to him. “I used to sleep with my siblings in our bed, so it’s hard to fall asleep since…” since the demon who made you an orphan murdered them. “And, you know. Nightmares.”

Tanjiro understands. Of course he understands! He used to have five younger siblings, did you know that? Now Nezuko has her own room and the rest…well, you’ve heard the story. It’s hard to fall asleep when you’re by yourself, isn’t it? He’s been there.

“How many hours are you sleeping every night? On average?”

You’re trying too hard to ignore the brush of his callused fingertips over your cheekbones, so you tell him the truth without meaning to. “Um, like four hours? On a good day?”

His eyes go wide and suddenly both of his hands are wrapped around one of yours and squeezing, maybe a little too tight. “Is that the truth, (Y/N)? Four hours is too little. Sleep deprivation isn’t good for you.”

“I know, but—”

“No. The next time you have trouble getting to sleep, I want you to come to my room.” You open your mouth to mount a denial, but he frowns and cuts you off. “Promise me. Okay? It’s really bad for your health, so promise.”

And once again, you say yes even though you don’t want to.

It’s fine. It’ll be fine, you think. You’ll just pretend you’re sleeping better. Tonight you’ll lay in bed with your eyes open and stare at the ceiling and try to listen to your own breathing, in and out and in and out, and hope it drowns out the memories that stick fast in your head whenever you’re by yourself. Then when you’ve been laying in the dark for a few hours, you’ll finally fall asleep and all your nightmares will play out in technicolor and you’ll do your best to be quiet so you don’t wake anyone else up and in the morning you’ll splash cold water on your face to make your eyes less puffy and pinch your cheeks to get some color in them and it’ll be fine.

You can take care of yourself. You have to, since everyone else is gone. So you’re not sure why, when the sun goes down and you’re looking into the face of another sleepless night, you find yourself knocking on the door of Tanjiro’s bedroom.

Maybe it’s just that he made you promise. You hate breaking your promises.

He lets you in, the half-asleep affect mixing with the same caring, serene look as always (and it’s a little insulting that he’s not surprised at all). Tanjiro sits on the bed first and you can’t help staring at him in the flickering orange lamplight. He’s more muscular than you remembered, and taller than when you first met. He can play the role of a big brother all he likes, but he’s still an adult. A man. And he’s not family.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” you say, fidgeting with the sleeve of your shirt.

“It’s okay, (Y/N),” Tanjiro murmurs as he lies down, his voice still scratchy with sleep. Somehow it relaxes you. He just has that way about him—when he says it’s okay, it feels okay.

Tanjiro pats the spot on the bed next to him. It looks really warm, and there’s a winter chill in the air even though it’s only September. It’s a bed made for one person, but Tanjiro—ever considerate—has moved over to one side to make space for you.

“Come on. Come sleep,” he instructs in that soft, non-demanding way of his. So you sit down on the edge of the bed and (carefully, carefully, like you’re making your way into a hot bath) fold your legs and pull the covers over you so you’re lying next to him. The bed is even warmer than you thought it’d be. Tanjiro radiates heat—he’s so warm, you think, how fitting—and then before you know it you’re drifting into the first dreamless sleep you’ve been afforded in a very long time.

That first night, you sleep with a good six inches of space between the two of you. You don’t want to touch him, don’t want to cross that invisible boundary—at first. But it doesn’t matter, because every time you wake up next to him, you’re curled up to his side like a puppy seeking warmth. It’s not like he minds. Judging from the gentle smile on his face when he wakes you up in the morning (and tells you that you should go back to your room before anyone notices you’re not there) he likes it.

Never again, you think. No way. But you haven’t had a good night’s sleep in so long, and it’s nice to be well-rested for once, and the next evening you only lie in your bed for fifteen minutes before you’re knocking on Tanjiro’s door again, silently asking if you can take advantage of his kind nature for just one more night.

He says yes. Of course he does. So you sleep next to Tanjiro again, you keep half a foot of space between you again, and you wake up hugging him. Again. And then you do it the next night, and the next night, sleeping beside Tanjiro over and over until you no longer bother trying to leave room between your body and his.

Is this okay? you wonder sometime around the two-week mark. It’s the longest you’ve gone without having nightmares since the demon came. Sometimes you think you’re betraying your loved ones by trying not to think about their deaths; letting yourself off easy while they suffered. You tell this to Tanjiro while the two of you are lying back to back under his blanket, quietly enough that (you hope) if he’s already sleeping you won’t wake him.

He hears you, and he turns around and lays his arm around your waist. “Don’t be silly…of course they wouldn’t want you to be unhappy.”

“But how do you know?”

“I know.” Tanjiro’s voice is half muffled by your hair, but it’s steady. “You believe me, don’t you.”

You do.

“Don’t think about that anymore.” His hold on your waist gets a little bit tighter, arms a little bit less forgiving.

“I won’t,” you say, hoping that the promise will be enough. The two of you fall asleep like that, and when you wake up in the morning it’s the first time ever that you haven’t moved in the night.

As if it wasn’t enough to be spending every night together, at some point you start to dream about him too. Usually it’ll just be a flash or a snippet that you barely remember once you wake—the reassuring tone of his voice, a smell like a campfire, or a few notes of laughter—but tonight you’re watching him train in the courtyard. In the dream, he moves through his forms with inhuman grace, position to position to position, balanced with perfect agility like he’s a dancer and not a swordsman. With how beautiful it is, you can almost forget the raw power behind his movement, the strength that has subjugated more demons than you care to know.

He pauses to stretch, rolling his shoulders back, and you notice that he’s shirtless (which is how you know it’s a dream). Tanjiro’s arms flex as he raises the blade into position, and the sun shimmers over the thin sheen of sweat on his chest. He looks ethereal like this, and as you sit on the porch and watch him, you feel heat stir inside of you that has nothing to do with the sunlight.

Tanjiro, you call out softly. He looks around to you, deep red eyes resting on yours, and whips the blade down to replace it in its sheath.

Can I come closer? The grass is cool and wet under your bare feet as you pad lightly into the courtyard toward him. You can taste the humid summer air in your mouth. Fingers tangle themselves in your hair, tilting your head up to meet his.

Tanjiro…

“(Y/N)?”

Tanjiro’s voice cuts through the dream and you scrunch your eyes shut, reluctant to leave the dream world where he wants to touch you, not out of pity or because he thinks it’s his duty to take care of you but because he wants to. But it’s too late—his hand is on your shoulder, gently shaking you out of your slumber. “(Y/N)? You said my name.”

“Sorry, I…sorry.”

“What were you dreaming about?”

He kissed you, in your dream. Now that you’re looking at the real version, your cheeks feel warm…and so does that same spot below your belly. Suddenly the room feels uncomfortably hot, and you wish you weren’t trapped under the covers with Tanjiro. You shift your legs to try and get a little more air between the two of you, but the heat persists.

“I think I should go back to my room.” You must be sweating—you feel damp for some reason. He’s too close.

Tanjiro ignores you. “Can you tell me what you were dreaming about?”

“I—you,” you admit. “You were training.”

“And?”

“And…I don’t know. It’s kind of warm in here, isn’t it? I think I’ll just…” You push the cover aside and sit up, but before you can get yourself off the bed, Tanjiro is tugging you back down, holding to the mattress so he can hover over you in that way he likes.

“Tell me,” he says to you, voice as firm as it is gentle. Sleep-mussed locks of red hair flop over his forehead but his face is serious, and you can’t look away.

“You kissed me,” you whisper.

That takes him by surprise. You can tell by the way his eyes widen, but his hold on you doesn’t ease up. You want to die. Why did you say that? He’ll think you’re disgusting, sleeping next to him in his bed and having perverted dreams about him. Why couldn’t you have just lied? Why can’t you ever lie to him?

“I’m going back to my bedroom.” You try to project more confidence than you actually feel, but there’s no use. Tanjiro doesn’t seem like he’s going to let you get away from him any time soon.

He’s straddling your body carefully, one elbow folded next to your head while his other hand comes up to stroke your cheek. “Your face is all red.”

“You’re…you’re too close.”

“I don’t think I’m close enough. You have goosebumps, look...” Tanjiro folds up the sleeve of your sleep shirt, exposing your arms to view. “…here…and here, too…”

His hands are wandering further down to the hem of the shirt, pushing it up so slowly and gently that you’re not even sure it’s happening until you feel him stroking over your belly. It’s true, you do have goosebumps. It feels like every hair on your body is standing on end. “Tanjiro…?”

“I guess you haven’t been able to touch yourself, since we’ve been sleeping together. That kind of repression is bad for your health. Even I’ve been a little…frustrated.”

Your mind has to work overtime to understand what he’s telling you as he strokes over your stomach and onto the sensitive skin of your sides, and then up to the flesh covering your ribs. His thumb teases over the underside of one of your breasts for a second, but the shock must have shown on your face because he retreats immediately.

“I’m not. I’m not frustrated,” you say, knowing he won’t believe you.

Tanjiro shakes his head in dismissal. “I don’t think that’s true, (Y/N).”

What are you supposed to say? Of course it’s not true. But admitting that you’ve been feeling heated around him lately would ruin everything, so refuse to say it. “I…I don’t know what to say…”

“You don’t have to say it. Can I prove it to you?”

What does he mean? Your head jerks up and down in acquiescence. You barely have to wait a moment before Tanjiro’s hands are slipping down your sides to the waistband of your pants and tugging them down over your hips. A tap on your hipbones prompts you to lift your hips and let him remove the clothing, not that you know why you’re complying so blindly.

Just like you always do.

Is he still trying to take care of you? Putting himself in a caretaker’s role because he thinks you need him? This is going a little far, too far maybe, but you can’t deny you want this. The heat of his body is no longer stifling—instead, it feels like it’s pulling you into him.

When your pants are out of the way, Tanjiro reaches into your underwear and dabs against your slit. It’s not until you feel his finger sliding between the puffy lips of your cunt that you realize how wet you are…and of course he can feel it too. Your knees jerk together to try and push him away from you but he’s unfazed, his touch steadily becoming more intrusive as he seeks out the syrupy dampness from your pussy.

“What am I feeling right now? I want you to tell me.”

“You’re—you’re touching me?” you gasp out.

“And you’re all wet. You can’t tell me you haven’t been frustrated when you’re getting this wet with just my fingers.” At this, you feel him prodding deeper into your pussy and stretching you open.

“Nn—okay, fine! Fine!” The words come out of you in a rapid burst, and you finally muster up the resolve to push Tanjiro away from you by his shoulders. “I’ll go back to my room and deal with it, okay? You don’t have to do it for me.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think I can trust you to take care of this problem by yourself. You’ve been lying to me about your needs.”

You wish he wasn’t able to be so calm while you feel like your entire face is on fire. He pulls his hand out of your panties and backs up on the bed so his torso is framed between your legs. “Can you let me help you, (Y/N)? Let me take care of you.”

You lick your lips without realizing you’re doing it, and Tanjiro’s eyes follow the motion. You can barely comprehend what he’s asking. You want it. You want his hands on you; you want to be taken care of in the way he’s offering. But whether or not you can actually ask for it is another story. “Tanjiro…”

“You need this. I know you do.” He skims his palm over your bare thigh in a soothing motion that, oddly enough, puts your barbed nerves a fraction at ease. “I want you to be honest with me about what you need.”

It’s too much. The warmth of his body so tantalizingly close to yours, his shadowed eyes searching yours for a response you don’t know how to give him…and the sticky mess in your panties. Tanjiro’s giving you a free pass to get something you’ve wanted for longer than you can comfortably admit to yourself, and you’re not sure you could deny him if you tried. What can you tell him except the truth? “I want you. I need you.”

“Good girl. See how good it feels to be honest?” Tanjiro bows down and mouths over your pussy through the wet spot on your panties.

It’s not the honesty that feels good, you think as his tongue pads at you through the fabric.

Too impatient to wait another second to taste you, Tanjiro nudges your rear up and slides your panties down your legs. As soon as you kick the undergarment off your feet, he’s pulling your thighs back apart and curling his thickly-muscled arms around them to hold you securely as his head dips back down to your bare pussy. He wastes no time in laving his tongue over your slit and up to the button at the top.

The sensation of this hot, wet muscle pressing up against your most private area is…weird, to say the least. You’ve never felt anything like this—to be honest, you don’t even know exactly what Tanjiro’s doing. When you think about what’s actually happening on this bed—your (friend? partner? bedmate? crush?) ally has his mouth angled between your legs and is licking your pussy—you think you might spontaneously combust. You’ve never felt anything like this before, and however strange the feeling is, you’re more than aware of your hips grinding up toward Tanjiro just so you can feel more of it.

“Here, let me help…” Tanjiro effortlessly lifts you to place a pillow under your lower back, and then moves back down to continue his relentless licking, this time at a new angle that allows him full access to every millimeter of your raw cunt. He’s eating you out like your pussy is the last meal he’ll ever have.

And how can he help it? You taste so good, so sweet on his lips and over his tongue. You must have been in so much pain lying next to him every night with your desire leaking out between your thighs. Just thinking about is making heat rise low in his groin, and his grip on you is getting tighter by the second. How awful that you tried to keep this to yourself…it was remiss of him not to realize before tonight that you needed him so badly.

But it’s going to be alright, because judging from the muffled noises you’re making, every swipe of his tongue licking up your slit is more than making it up to you.

You probably don’t realize how much your hips are wiggling under his minstrations. He barely has to exert any effort to keep you still, but the way you keep trying you push yourself closer to him is enticing, not to mention the way you’re trying (and failing) to keep your voice down through your moans.

“Tanjiro…T-Tanjiro,” you whimper. It’s like you can’t think of anything except for his name. All of your attention is focused on the pressure building up deep in your core, each stroke of his tongue over your clit taking you higher and higher. You feel tense…wound up so tightly that you have to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from letting the shallow puffs of air turn into full-fledged cries.

Just like that, please, please… You think the words rather than saying them, even though you want to. It’s too humiliating to be begging Tanjiro for more while he’s already giving you more than you deserve, but it’s almost like he heard you anyway, because his tongue writhes down across your clit again and your back arches up off the bedspread.

Your thighs twitch around his head, trying involuntarily to hold him down. He just chuckles and keeps you firmly in place, and his voice hums out over your pussy making feel even more wild. “Please, I’m—I’m cumming…” Your voice trails off and you crush the heels of your palms into your face to cover up your expression while the wave of pleasure hits you so hard you think you might faint.

Tanjiro doesn’t stop. You’re crying out in whimpers so high-pitched he can barely hear them, but he doesn’t stop. The delicate muscles in your pussy are throbbing under his tongue, but he doesn’t stop licking until you’re almost crying, panting out “it’s too much it’s too much, please Tanjiro” and pushing his head away with your hand.

When he finally pulls away, his hair is tangled and disarrayed from where you’ve been running your hands through it, and his mouth and jaw are shining wet. Tanjiro licks his lips and if you didn’t feel shaky before…you do now.

It takes a second for the power of thought to return to you, but when it does you just sigh weakly and flop back down onto the bed. Tanjiro’s next to you before you hit the pillow, and he grips your jaw with one hand to angle your head to meet his, and—

He’s kissing you. He’s actually kissing you. His lips are surprisingly soft over yours, but as usual there’s an unnecessary degree of pressure attached to the contact that has you sinking deeper into your blankets under his force. You can detect the lush, slightly bitter taste of your arousal coating the inside of his mouth as his tongue (skillful as ever) traces over yours. Tanjiro is kissing you, and it’s a hundred times better than any dream you could come up with on your own, so you kiss back.

It takes him a long moment to break the kiss, long enough that your lungs are pleading for air by the end of it. When his lips leave yours, a thin trail of saliva connects the two of you until it breaks and drips down your chin.

“Tanjiro…” You search for the right words, but what are you supposed to say at a time like this? “I…what did we just do?”

“Shh, don’t worry.” Tanjiro leans in again, this time just to press a chaste kiss to your forehead. “I’m going to take good care of you, okay?”

You take a moment and then duck your head into a nod. It doesn’t make any sense—how does he do that?—but once he says it’s okay it always is.

[zvnphoria]

- how being koko’s best friend would be like

a/n - had too much fun with this. THIS IS VERY LONG UM. this is an apology for being inactive.

contains - fluff, teeny bit of angst, just platonic because YEAH, fem!reader, implied strong reader, reader has mommy issues (definitely not projecting), reader had a friendship with akane and looked up to her like an older sister

you and hajime go way back since you were kids. you two met in an interesting way but not necessarily in a good one.

you were walking to the nearest park to get out of your crazy house because your mom kept screaming at you over the littlest thing again. you forgot to wash the dishes (you didn’t necessarily forget that’s for sure). you stopped once you saw a boy around your age getting beaten up by some older kids. his hand gripped tightly on what looked like a school bag and protected it like his life depended on it.

it didn’t matter anymore because you had just knocked out both of the bullies in no time without a thought— almost as if it was normal to you. when you looked at the boy, he had blood going down from his forehead to his cheek, heavily panting and on the verge of passing out. he’s not the fighting type, huh. luckily you had a towel wrapped around your neck since you had just gotten out of the shower when you walked out your house, you weren’t gonna spend much time at the park anyways

you kneeled down and wiped the dripping blood off his face and noticed a bigger figure running towards you both. it was.. a girl?

“hajime-kun! what happened here?!” she panicked as she checked your surroundings

“akane-san.. it’s no big deal i promise..”

“no big deal?! i knew something was up when you rushed the other way. and my bag also happened to be missing! why didn’t you ask for help? you don’t need to be independent all the time.”

“and you,” she began, making eye contact with you

“are you okay? are you hurt?”

“no no! i’m fine don’t worry.”

“she was actually the one who knocked them out, akane-san,”

the older girl looked at the unconscious bullies, then back at you with shock and amazement in her eyes

“you did this? that’s amazing!” she says as she quickly takes your hands and wraps it around hers

“uh.. yes i promise it’s really not a big deal. i’ve dealt through worse, trust me,” you say as you gaze at the direction of your house

“worse or not this is still definitely something! even i cant beat someone up, and i’m way older than you!” she chuckled

“well it’s not like you have the heart to do something like that, akane-san,” the boy comments

“hahah you’re right, you’re right. anyways we should get going now— the sun is gonna set very soon, and you should get home as well. is your house nearby? we can walk you if you’d like,”

even ‘til this day you still don’t know why you didn’t decline her offer. was it because she was nice? it didn’t matter anymore, because if you had declined, you wouldn’t get to meet such amazing people.

it’s been a few months after meeting hajime and akane, and you had also met akane’s younger brother who was your age— seishu! you four would often hang out, whether it was at the inui home or at hajime’s house. getting to know them was pretty fun, and very interesting because a certain someone had a crush on akane.

it was definitely not seishu because they’re siblings and that’s just weird, definitely not you because akane had reminded you of your older sister who was almost never in your life, so that only left one choice— hajime.

his crush on her was so painfully obvious that you couldn’t stand seeing him try to impress her every now and then. he even ditched his glasses and bought contacts just for her to compliment him! he’s whipped huh..

one day you decided to help him out a little with his crush. it was another day of your usual hang outs except this time it was at your local mall! akane’s birthday was coming up and you three had collectively agreed to take her to the mall and see if she would see anything she’d like. turns out she was eyeing some platforms with red on the bottoms, and you took notice.

seishu dragged her to go to the food court with him because he was “hungry” so you and hajime took the chance to buy the heels. you were both now at the cash register, waiting for the register person

“i don’t understand you,” you began

“i don’t understand why you like her so much. i mean— i get that’s she’s amazing and nice and pretty and all but.. there’s another reason why you like her. something must’ve happened for you to be so attached to her so what is it?” you meant no harm with this question whatsoever. you were simply curious and that’s all.

before he answered, he smiled to himself and looked back at you

“she’s the only one that makes me feel not under pressure all the time. she’s the one who constantly reminds me that i shouldn’t be so independent and that i should always ask for help.” as you took a breath in to reply, he stopped you

“before you say anything, i know. i know she doesn’t like me. i know she’s just being nice. but there’s nothing wrong with a one-sided crush right?” he grins

even though he was beaming with a smile in front of you, you knew. you knew this wasn’t how he truly felt. you knew that deep down he was hurt but it was understandable. after all, he was just a kid wasn’t he? you saw right through him.

it was a shame after what happened the next couple of weeks after that conversation. it all happened so fast and none of you were prepared for it. you weren’t prepared for the incident that had happened to akane. a few days before it occurred, koko proudly told you that he was planning to confess and you were way against it.

“huh?! but i need to get this off my chest, y/n! i don’t care if she rejects me or not!”

“haji, i have a bad feeling about this.. i’m serious. you know how i always get bad feelings and they turn out to be true!”

he groaned and scooted far from where he was originally sitting which was right next to you. you sigh and got up to sit down next to him and laid your head on his shoulder so he wouldn’t escape

“i just don’t want you to get your hopes up, that’s all.” deep down you knew the truth. akane wasn’t interested in boys one bit despite all the confessions she had received almost every week.

“fine. you have a point. but im still going with this,”

all you could do was do nothing but let him. oh how you wished you protested more, because in return all he got was a huge burden on his shoulders.

“please ma’am, just please tell me what room akane inui and seishu inui are in,” you shouted as tears were rolling down on your cheeks. “107, right down the hall and take a left ‘hon”

you bowed and quickly made your way into the room. as you burst the door open, your eyes immediately go on seishu who looked so sad to the point where he didn’t even bother to look up at you. you hug him with a feeling of relief flowing in your body, but soon that feeling was gone when you asked where akane was.

you stood outside the door, not knowing why your feet couldn’t move. what’s wrong, y/n? her voice rang your ears. go on, don’t worry i’ll be right here next to you and if you get scared, just hold my hand! right. that was the time you were at a “haunted” house together and you were scared to go in. why are you being reminded of this right now?

you gulped and slowly opened the doorknob and found a crying boy in front of you, hands grabbing on the sheets with his head on the edge of the bed. you couldn’t do anything. all you could do was sit next to him with your head resting on his shoulder while you were crying.

a few years after that, you both acted as if nothing had happened. not because you wanted to forget akane, but because you knew akane would’ve wanted you both to continue living on without her.

despite not dating, you two would always have couple tendencies like feeding food to eachother or hugging often but you’re just THAT close to the point you can probably kiss without feeling any romantic attraction whatsoever

you couldn’t hang out with him as much anymore because of all the gang related things he’s doing. to make it up to you, he knocks on your window late at night and sleeps over most of the time. you talk to him about the usual— have you been eating? you should get more rest. and so on.

you were the one who got him to start wearing eyeliner! at first he just looked at you with a confused face when you handed him it as his present, but then you explained that if he wants to go fully dedicated to the black dragons, the wings of the eyeliner would represent the wings of the dragon. he didn’t wear it at first, all he did was ruffle your hair and said he’d think about it— and he kept his word! so now he’s the iconic money-making genius that wears eyeliner.

after all that’s happened between you two, there isn’t a single awkward moment you share. you know those friends who bring up an adult related topic out of completely nowhere? you two were those friends.

“i was walking by an alley and i heard a girl getting fucked,” he says while chewing the piece of gum you handed to him

“..and??”

“i’ve never walked away so fast in my life.”

there are days where you’re sad but, of course, you don’t tell him. in fact you don’t need to tell him because he’ll know when you’re upset.

“so are ya gonna tell me what’s wrong?” he says as he rests his head on your thighs

“ugh how do you always know..”

“because we’ve been together for the longest, duh.”

he doesn’t show it much, but he cares for you more than you think he does. overprotective and can’t help but show it at times, but don’t worry! he’s doing it because he loves you. remembers the littlest things you talk about and are interested in. he’s also constantly on the lookout so that you don’t get hurt or even worse.

when he’s the one who’s upset, you immediately know. he’s quieter than usual, zoning out a lot and just not paying attention to what you’re saying to him, almost like he’s in his own little world. before you initiate a conversation, you play with his hair so he’ll feel comfortable as a way for you to convince him to tell you what’s wrong.

even though it happened such a long time ago, he still thinks about her. you cant blame him, you do too! if you were to describe your best friend with one sentence, the first thing that would pop up in your head was weak little boy. not weak as in physically weak, but weak as in mentally weak. he can’t help but get emotional when it comes to her, which is understandable.

“it’s not your fault, hajime. she left you with no proper closure, and now you’re carrying guilt and burden on your shoulders. anyone would feel the same or even worse in your position.”

he didn’t respond but he doesn’t need to. all that matters to him is that you’re next to him, comforting him with your kind words like you always do. you both have some differences which caused a few arguments, but in the end you would still be best friends.

speaking of arguments, you argue either over the dumbest things ever or over serious topics. one time you got mad at him because he was beating you in a video game and his smug expression was not helping at all. you kicked him out of your house because you were just THAT frustrated. you felt guilty so you decided to walk to his house and apologize but stopped once you saw a certain figure trying to climb up to your window.

in the start of the serious argument, it was completely something different than what you were yelling at each other about now.

he showed up at your house with your favorite boba and snacks. you demanded him to put those down.

“hajime. food— no. MONEY cant keep me happy forever, and that also applies to you!”

“then what else am i supposed to do?!” his voice started getting weak. he was never the type to argue because he’d always get emotional.

“what am i other than a money-making genius? other than a wallet?”

“i cant do anything about my situation, y/n. nothing. because that’s all i am. just a stupid wallet for everyone to use.” he says about to walk away until you grab his sleeve to stop him.

“that’s not even true. you’re so much more than that, hajime. i’m sorry.. i’m so sorry.” you were crying into his chest and he couldn’t help but cry with you.

he spoils you 100%, no doubt. there was a point in life where you would always decline but you had just gotten so used to the offer that you got tired of fighting back. i mean, how could you? he was so willing and eager and most importantly HAPPY to do this for you.

hajime cant drive motorcycles and you constantly tease him about it, which he just responds to you by squeezing your cheeks together so you could shut up. the bad thing about this is that you guys always have to walk or go on a bus to the specific place you’re going to which is pretty tiring at times. although that doesn’t matter because what matters is that you both have each other.

back to the overprotective part.. you got called by this boy to meet him at the rooftop by the end of school and you already knew what was about to go down because of your shoujo manga reading sessions. the first thing you did was call hajime and he immediately got there to warn you about what you were gonna get yourself into.

“don’t you already have someone you like??”

“uh.. no?”

“i couldve sworn you liked that ‘tora dude..”

“keep your mouth shut!”

“…so you’re gonna reject him right?”

and you did! nicely, of course. hajime advised you should make come off as mean so he wouldn’t bother you again but you just ignored him and pretended like you didn’t hear anything.

being his best friend contains some ups and downs, but that’s the point of true friendships— it’ll never be perfect.