#im not gonna tag it as anything specific bc of like...

[bleakbluejay]

i would really love to see more people like me in the media i consume, and i really would've loved to see people like me in the media that i consumed as a kid.

like. i'm lifelong disabled, i've always been disabled, i've only gotten worse. but when i see disabled kid characters, they have helicopter parents (like Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle). i didn't. i was largely neglected beyond my basic needs because i was a "good kid, just lazy". so i wasn't taught how to do basic things, and i was very socially stunted. i got my socialization through video games, books, and cartoons. and i'm forever weird because of it (not that it's the worst, i like having a unique personality for sure. but i'd like to see more weird poorly socialized kids, too, that aren't like... bullies or something -- and the fact poorly socialized or socially disabled characters are often coded as bullies or creeps of some kind could be a rant in itself).

when i see disabled characters in general, especially ones in wheelchairs like me, they're all skinny. i'm not. i'm fat. like very fat. muscular, sure, i could punch like a kangaroo i bet, but i'm 300+ lbs. because it's hard to exercise when your walking/standing are so limited. and it's hard to cook healthy food, too, leading to eating shit microwavable junk. but all the wheelchair-using characters i know, minus Franklin from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, are skinny. in general, there's too many skinny people in media, and we need more variation in body types and builds, but focusing on disabled characters for this one.

when i see amputee characters get a prosthetic, they have no issues. they don't ever deal with poorly fit prosthetics, or blisters, or pain. if they deal with anything at all, it's usually a sight gag (which could be done well, it IS funny when i get my fake foot caught under stuff sometimes, but it often isn't done well at all). they don't deal with any internalized ableism, and i think the only times i saw a disabled character deal with outright malicious ableism was Walt Jr. in Breaking Bad season 1 (who was genuinely an amazing disabled character imo, one of the best I've ever seen) and Patty in Dinner in America. I understand the argument that nobody wants to witness ableism... and self-hating disabled characters also suck... but I feel like we're being so dishonest when we write things to be perfect and always work out and there's never any problems, and it leads to non-disabled people not being aware of the problematic things they do or say or think. i remember as a disabled kid being really frustrated when shown disabled characters that were so well-off in terms of how other people treated them and how easy it was to "fix" their disabilities... it made me feel broken or wrong that I WAS so frustrated and confused and in pain and mistreated. It's why characters like Lt. Dan from Forrest Gump, and John Locke from LOST, and Bran Stark + Tyrion Lannister + Jaime Lannister from A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones meant so much to me and were so magnetic. (I could write a whole different rant about disabled rep in ASOIAF/GOT btw... I love you Davos Seaworth) ... Being disabled can suck. People can mistreat you. You sometimes have to be forced to adapt when you shouldn't have to. You have to, at times, confront that some of your dreams are impossible to achieve, or that you can no longer do something that you love, and learn to accept it (but there's often a lot of bitterness and rage before you get to the point of that acceptance).

What about how PTSD and depression are shown? See, I don't relate to the wilting flower brooding archetype that feels so common. If I spend all day in bed, it's usually more for pain than it is because of mental health. What about psychotics shown in a positive light? I'm not a threat to you because of my paranoia or hallucinations, and neither are my psychotic friends. What about OCD, shown in ways other than counting and germaphobia? What about autism, shown in ways other than robotic apaths? What about BPD, shown in a way other than abuse?

Let's move away from disabled characters into queer ones. Because I don't see a lot of queer characters like me, either. I am transmasc nonbinary, and I identify as a lesbian, and also on the ace spectrum (demi or grey, idk, shit's hard). Where are my fat dykes? Transmascs in general, but also transmascs that still enjoy makeup? I love makeup... I love the pageantry of it -- esp tradgoth or punk makeup or corpse paint. It's amazing how many transmasc nonbinary people I know in real life that engage with femininity compared to how nonexistent they are in any media. God forbid you have a character that takes testosterone but still calls themself a lesbian. God forbid you have a lesbian that leans more butch that ISN'T a sex-hound or a villain or a joke character. God forbid you have an ace character that isn't treated like a robot. Authentic queerness feels incredibly rare. I know it's because they're going for either sanitized queerness that is accessible for straight people, or for softcore porn also for straight people, but fuck, man. It sucks. The closest thing to representation I've ever seen in regards to my queerness was Al from Little Evil -- a masc person of indeterminate gender identity with a wife. And Al rocked. Even if that character was largely a comedic relief, their identity itself didn't feel like the joke, just a point of mild confusion for the main character. The next best representation I've seen was Aziraphale and Crowley from the Good Omens show, which are good and feel very authentic and real. Next best after that is probably the entire cast of the What We Do in the Shadows show... I know so many Laszlos and Nandors and Guillermos and Nadjas in real life, they feel like pretty authentic queer characters actually. None that I, in particular, relate to, other than maybe Guillermo at best, but it's nice to see my friends on TV, too.

I know that a character exactly like me is a bit too much to wish for. But I just want something. I like to feel seen. I like to feel present. I like to feel like people like me are worth having on TV and in movies and in video games. I would've really liked to see any of that as a really confused, lonely kid that was trapped inside because of my health and sentenced to read/watch/play hours and hours and hours and hours of media that did not contain any piece of me within them. It worsened my loneliness more than ever needed.

[biblically-accurate-dca]

super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want

[figofswords]

i know ive made myself the #1 izutsumi stan in the eyes of all of my friends and probably some of you online people but what if i became a mithrun stan. there is something about him that compels me. i just want to *clenches fist* put him on the drying rack. lovingly stick him into a tupperware for later. make him into. a broth of some sort. do you understand

[riiviir]

hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!

[strawglicks]

i can feel myself drifting from the TTCC community .. like i still love the characters and their dynamics, but ive been thinking less about toontown as a whole and just some of the characters are lingering . this usually happens towards the end of my obsessions

plus i just dont feel in touch with the community LOL i just kinda stick to my own stuff and sometimes like the art and stories ppl make .. but im in this awkward spot right now where im MENTALLY not engaging as much. idk if this is anything

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

feeling weird mixed feelings atm and I can't really logic them away, ig? on the one hand I'm completely apathetic about it. on the other hand there's a part of me that's absolutely horrified that I could do something like that. the fact that it's still a consistent low-level pain the whole time also doesn't help. anyway those kinds of thoughts are then making me want to harm again to cope with them but also a) it's manageable and b) I currently have a deep horror of self-inflicted pain after the last few days apparently.

[higgs-the-god]

since gorgeous has a sister and prime has john and mind has felix how abt feetman!!!!!! mavin.

[jeremiahthefroge]

yeah ok so I caved. Lit up another bowl, opened a new folder on my Obsidian vault, and I'm gonna rewatch the minecraft diaries and I'm going to take detailed notes on everything plot related I can, separated episode by episode, make observations, and then create a little personal wikipedia of my interpretations of the characters as they appear on the show.

I just did episode one to do what is essentially a "am I capable of watching this" test (I feared since it was 2016 youtube that I was into in the year 2016, a historically terrible year for me, that I would have some HEAVILY BIASED ideas on the quality of this show, and that if I rewatched I would ruin it for myself) and I honestly didn't have too hard of a time with the youtube of it all. Cringe is and has been dead, and I'm looking at this like a fun little excercise in studying how this piece of media tells the story it tells.

Speaking of, I find it so interesting how the machinima of Zenix and Garroth kicks us off and we then have Aphmau speaking as like... a comentary youtuber. The machinima sets up a plot that isn't even hinted more at in the episode, too, but I can see the first 10 or whatever episodes having all been recorded in 1 batch all at once and then cut up. I don't recall how characterized Aphmau gets in this whole thing.

And also I find Aphmau doing the voices for Garroth and Zenix so unironically fun and endears me to the series. Idk why but it made me smile!

I'll probably liveblog more of this experience bc I'm incapable of keeping my mouth shut.

[perenlop]

flygon and charizard both being challenges at the temple…. wow…. zephyr and kiln :3

[spinoff-antithesis]

(muth being music theory!)

[lightfulonion]

hii @pierogish-side!!! thank you for tagging me!! <3

Last song: This could be us by Rae Sremmurd

Favorite color: mmm really feeling brown rn

Currently watching: OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH WOOHOO!! its so fun (everyone is going through it)

Last movie: The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar dir. Wes Anderson

Currently reading: im currently studying for uni so im stuck at Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and The Course of Love by Alain de Botton :(

Sweet/spicy/savory: sweet forever and always

Relationship status: uhhh im dying and rebirthing from my ashes 👍

Current obsession: .....kiribaku..... im back at it again OTZ

Last things I googled: wes anderson (so i could find out what the above movie was called lmao), werewolf (singular), boku no hero academia wiki episodes (this is a call for help)

Currently working on: im in my last year of uni (lmao pierogish... 😭) and i need to finish it so im studying really hard!!! (and trying to not give up) but itll probably be a while until i get my degree. also i bought an old polaroid from a thrift shop and im thinking of making it work

tagging: @skijjiki, @livingonyoghurtandspite,@peachybeesplease, @horson, @mars-matrix

[haunted-xander]

I'm so tired and I want to sleep but I can't because my brain has decided to remind me of every single bad thing to happen in my life ever

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

if anyone needs me i will be rewatching trigun 98 and tristamp over and over until my brain explodes

[waterfallofspace]

Hello. I am here to say that I am still absolutely insanely out of my mind every time I think about or rewatch D/abi's dance scene.

I know I haven't written him yet, but I absolutely will, and my love for him runs deep. But I just wanted to say that the image of him peering through his hair has been stuck in my head and I am losing it.

I have included this image of said pose for your convivence. He has no. right. to look so good here. That is all, thank you for your time <3

[gravitysoda]

i said it on twitter nd i'll say it here, i accept dadrius at this point cause. canon! but im still also going to headcanon that hunter visits the nocedas all the time and often stays in the human realm to visit luz and vee, and camila is like a second parent to him. and since he also has dell as a mentor now, i think they'd become like family as well, and by extent the other clawthornes. he also has willow's dads as in-laws, PLUS if darius and alador get married, he'd ALSO have the blights as family (which is hilarious btw)...basically what i'm saying is he has so many families. the reason flapjack's gravestone only had "h." as an engraving with no last name initial is because hunter deamonne noceda clawthorne blight park is just too ridiculously long and he couldn't decide on just one last name to put on there.

[waywardsalt]

bellum x linebeck chapter summary drafts that won those polls:

chapter 8

chapter 14

chapter 20