#im not gonna tag everyone i think. too tored
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chipsncookies · 1 year ago
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Skard meme for today
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mindninjax · 3 years ago
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Top five favorite fics from others!
OH HOO HOO Aight bet... I'M GONNA DO MORE THAN 5 BECAUSE I'VE BEEN RECENTLY READING A BUNCH FICS. They are in no particular order. ALSO BE MINDFUL OF TAGS AND THESE AUTHOR'S RULES. THEY ARE ALL NSFW AND SHOULDN'T BE INTERACTED WITH IF YOU'RE UNDER 18.
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1. Longing by @bakugotrashpanda - Honestly anything by BTP is fucking fantastic but this was the fic that started it all. This is by far some of the best characterization of Bakugo that i've seen written and I ADORE it. Please the way he is with his daughter in this ALONE will make you SWOON.
2. The Art of Tea Composition by @karikarasuno Every single word in this is BEAUTIFUL stunning, glorious so domestic and lovely and beautiful and sexy and GOD Kari is just so fucking good at writing characters. And she wrote my fucking husband and just ekcjsadjkn
3. Before Number One by @saturnsorbits - this is honestly one of my FAVORITE Bakugo fics from one of my favorite writers. It just flows so well, I love his charcaterization I love the SEXXXXXXX. I just whbaskdjb i think about this fic A LOT ok?!?
4. Reverence by @onyxoverride - When i tell you I have been thinking about this fic SOOOOO MUCH since I read it. I'm NOT joking... My Dragon Age love has been rekindled and this fic was oh so sexy and made me look at Bertie in an entirely new light. Not to mention the sensual and hypnotizing flow and tone in this. Excellent work by my love Onyx.
5. A Series of Small Victories by @whats-her-quirk - Ok so I'm kinda cheating because i haven't read it all the way through yet but I read the start and the build up in the google doc and i was SCREAMINGGGGGG. I swear when I have time I will finish this because pegeren2k21 has finally arrived and my wife brought it to us.
6. Blood of Eden by @pleasantanathema - Another fic that I am constantly thinking of. It is always in my head. The lore in this is always something I wondering about because it's so fucking good. When writing Erwin I think about *this*Erwin for reference because it is just so damn good.
7. Pyroclastic by @titan-fodder -I know I know everyone is in love with Prima Vista with good reason (i will finish it i fucking swear) but THIS is the Miche fic I think of. The fucking Geology in it??? literally how could i not?? And Like this was the first Miche fic i ever read so it the pacing and everything literally felt like I was falling in love with him with the reader.
8. absolut by @lookslikeleese OH do you mean the fic that introduced me to my girlfriend Ochako?? Do you mean the one that made me scream in Weese's inbox, "WEESE I THINK IM GAY" Because yes. Yes Katsu is in this and he's hot. And yeah...there's Deku... BUT OCHAKOOOOO so hotttttttt in this. Please it's so good.
9. someone to you by @some-kindofgnome When I think Megumi, I think this fic. it is so tender and so incredibly (and obviously) well written but is so fucking true to his character how can you not love it and how can you not love him?? Like the setting is gorgeous, the smut is so passionate and there's a babyyyyyyyyyy.
10. On Call by @lady-bakuhoe - This fic was sexy obviously... it's from the LBH. But here's the thing. i know I was supposed to be paying attention to Katsu... which... i did. But i was looking RESPECTFULLY at SHINDO in this. I was like "OH my eyes are open now miss Jo" BAHAHA
11. Doing something Right by @hoe-doroki - Of fucking COURSE I would include this one. Ana I'm sorry this is all I ever recommend from your blog. I promise I love on the job so fucking much to but like... this one!??! my comfort fic?? Dad Baku?? babe.. I just.. gotta. Dad Baku is just too good not to love especially when it's done by you Ana.
12. Birthday Blues by @katsukikitten - my starlight this one tore me up because as always you're just so good at describing those angsty feelings we all feel but don't like putting into words. You make it beautiful and lovely but still manage to make us feel it in our guts when we read it. I really remember going "Omg yes that is exactly how it feels to still feel lonely in a room full of people" and I think that's such a great skill to have baby.
13. On Warrior's Wings by @jirou-s - Christineeee lovely Christineeee I remember being absolutely blown away by this fic. I remember the reader and wanting to know if she got her vengeance. i remember how poetic and beautiful the language was when i read it. WHEW idk if part two is still in your wips but i cannot wait to read it. NO RUSH!
14. baby i'm a haunted house by @ketslketslketsl Did i go to your fully decked out Enji masterlist and chose the Baku one to rec? Yes I sure did. bahahah BUT it's because i fucking love it. He's so neeeeddddddyyyyy in it. He's crying??? over us?? and we're so DONE with him in it it's just ugh so good. That emotionally removed sex. the conflict inside us. I love it. I eat that shit up.
15. Dad Headcanons by @kechiwrites - it is embarrassing how many times I reread these but it sparks joy so what can you do. ANYWHOO. I love them all I love reading at Baku as a dad. That will never change bahah.
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harcove · 3 years ago
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I posted 2,164 times in 2021
270 posts created (12%)
1894 posts reblogged (88%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 7.0 posts.
I added 728 tags in 2021
#jjba - 154 posts
#mine - 145 posts
#jojos bizarre adventure - 99 posts
#jojo's bizarre adventure - 98 posts
#jotaro kujo - 62 posts
#jotaro - 43 posts
#resident evil - 36 posts
#kujo jotaro - 34 posts
#shitpost - 29 posts
#jjba shitpost - 28 posts
Longest Tag: 137 characters
#i got 12k points and this clown was spamming thank u at me and liked everyone except me when we died im yall i i wasnt chaired once clown
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
you uh. wouldn't mind an angst request would you haha because I have had this one scenario stuck in my head where leon (probably resi 6 leon) has been drinking a lot more and has been neglecting his s/o and they finally call him out on his shit
anyway ooga booga they fight and decide it's best they give leon his space and take a break and maybe he finds them at a bar he goes to to get wasted to already find them drunk off their ass
Angst is absolutely one of my most favourite things to write and to read like damn I do be out here making myself CRY. So I definitely don't mind angst like hell yeah!
I was gonna end this was a happier note- but uh, I really love angst so I left it semi-open ended but also pretty sad I think. Also not really dialogue-heavy, more like... I write too much detail-heavy :,) Also this isn't edited, I spent days on this cause I was overthinking it and felt it was just not good so oof I'm sorry!
Length: 2k
Request: in the ask
Warnings: angst, drinking, lowkey it's alcoholism on Leon's part, being drunk
Leon x Reader - "I know."
How long had it been since you had held your boyfriend's hand? Since the two of you had really sat together and done something together, fully, completely, involved, and focused on one another. You didn't even remember, which was agonizing to think about.
You had been through so much with Leon. And you knew where his deepest thought lay, but you could never truly know. And it didn't help that over the years the two of you had together, he had started to become more distant. And instead of finding his comfort in your arms, he found it in some glass bottle.
At first, you didn't really protest much, you didn't say much about it. A drink every once in a while couldn't hurt. Yet, it wasn't every once in a while. It was more often than you'd have liked. And he was using it to forget. To focus on anything else but his life and his memories. Your soft words trying to talk to him didn't do much to stop him or dissuade him. He brushed you off more often than not. It tore you up from the inside out that you couldn't help him, that at some point a bottle was his chosen form of comfort over you.
The guilt mixed with sadness, and then with anger. And in the end, those feelings came together and created an explosion between the two of you one night.
Your throat was hoarse as you swallowed as much air as you could. You couldn't exactly remember what the argument stemmed from but you knew it had to be related to him drinking.
"Will you just listen to me?!" You shouted, the words coming out uneven as your throat begged you to stop, "put that shit down Leon, and look at me!"
The man sitting at the aisle in your kitchen put the flask he had down in front of him, but still had his hands on it. He turned his head to look at you, barely even moving at all, and his eyes were looking at you like he was unimpressed or annoyed.
"I'm listening."
You wanted to pull on your hair and scream because he wasn't. He wasn't listening, and he hadn't been, at least not for a while.
"No you aren't, you are not listening to a word I say, you never do!"
He scoffed, turning back to his drink and taking another sip.
"Where am I going on Friday?"
"What?" He looked at you incredulously, completely lost as your voice went from yelling at him to speaking relatively peacefully, but there was no peace in your voice.
"I said, where am I going on Friday, Leon," you repeated with clenched fists, "if you listen to me if you even bother to pay attention to me, you would know the answer. So where am I going on Friday?"
The silence was your answer, as you expected it to be, you just hadn't expected it to be so painful.
"I'm going to visit my family in the town over," your voice was low and tired, and you wanted to cry but you couldn't even find it in you to do that, "I told you that a thousand times Leon I..."
Biting your lip hard, you felt yourself break skin, and the metallic taste of blood invaded your taste buds. You were so angry at him moments before, angry enough you had been yelling. But suddenly you weren't angry anymore. You were just so sad; sad for yourself and sad for him. He wasn't going to listen to you, not right now, that much was clear.
"I've been busy Y/N-" whatever he said was wasted on deaf ears as you drowned them out unintentionally, your eyes trained on the flask he nursed.
For once, you knew you had to let it be. You had to give him space, and give yourself space.
"I'm sleeping in the guest room," you offered lamely after the long silence between the two of you after he had finished whatever he had said. Leon looked up at you, with a look of surprise, and confusion, "we both need space. From each other. I just... Don't stay up drinking all night."
"Y/N-" his words once again fell upon deaf ears, and his fingers just missed your arm as you turned and went upstairs to the room usually used by people like Claire, or Chris, sometimes Sherry.
When morning came, you had gotten up later than usual, Leon was already gone as he usually was early in the morning with his job and everything. Your heart felt heavier as you walked into the empty kitchen and noted the vodka bottle you two had been given as a gift was half empty. Something in you asked if it was all worth it; did it really do so much that he drank more than he should've? Did it take away the feelings of hopelessness, like the one you were currently stuck in?
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146 notes • Posted 2021-08-27 08:58:46 GMT
#4
Watching SDC and saw this photo of Joseph, Suzi and young Holly and bruh I just wish we could see a better version of it like damn
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223 notes • Posted 2021-02-10 05:01:03 GMT
#3
Matching icons for you and a friend :)
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243 notes • Posted 2021-03-15 05:15:43 GMT
#2
Leon's dead by daylight voice actor doing an audio clip of him doing Leon's injured noises and then saying "mommy," is something that lives inside my head rent fucking free.
299 notes • Posted 2021-08-28 07:39:33 GMT
#1
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642 notes • Posted 2021-03-12 05:13:24 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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dabis-girl · 5 years ago
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My Homies Girl | Katsuki Bakugou Smut 18+
Tags: Smut, cheating, black!reader, dubcon-ish (depends on who you ask)
Word Count: 1.2k-ish (after editing Im not sure) 
A/N: This has been a very log time coming but at last it is here. I have no idea how this will go over but its not for everybody. Everybody wash your hands and enjoy. (All participating parties are of legal consenting age)
His eyes were glued to your chest, and the tiny metal balls that pressed against your sheer cotton tank top. The white material accented your chestnut skin tone, as you sat in the courtyard with your friends admiring the day. He didn’t bother hiding his stares even going so far as to lick his lips, so much for keep things on the down-low. The two of you had been sneaking around for a few weeks now, ducking into empty classrooms and swinging by each other's room after curfew. You had tried keeping it from your friends but they knew, at least if they were smart enough to catch on. Mina was the only one you’d think had caught on by now, Bakugou probably knew but didn’t give a shit and as for Sero and Kiri, they have no idea. 
“Denks? You know my eyes are up here right?” You challenged him in front of everybody.  His eyes trailed slowly from your chest to meet your eyes, he replied with a low ‘yeah’, he collapsed over resting his head on his arms  “ I think I'm gonna start setting up inside.” You said pushing yourself off of the ground to your feet. Kaminari watched your hips sway as you slipped into the door. You hoped that he had picked up on the hint, most likely he didn’t and you’d have to send him a ‘come heather’ text in 20 minutes.
Tonight was going to be movie night for class 3A, you had volunteered to set up the snacks and decorations but it turned out that you were the only one that signed up. It seemed so empty, everyone was either training, studying, or doing their work-study, and here you were untangling an impossible heap of electrical wiring.  Class morale had seemed to have gone down with everyone so busy these days. You were sitting in the middle of the floor untangling chords when you felt his hands snake around you and his fingers darted to your nipples. He played with the metal barbell forcing your nipples to harden over. 
“Mmm.” You moaned as a smile crept across your face.  “ What took you so long?” He didn’t answer, just continued to kneed your breast as you mewled. This wasn’t like him Denki was usually to the point, ravishing you with an almost uncontrollable passion. Your moans continued as one of his hands trailed down your stomach stopping between your legs. He cupped your mound encouraging you to grind your hips into him. “Denki.” You moaned in approval at his new technique. 
“Uh-uh try again kitten.” The recognizable growl caused you to gasp. His hand that once lingered on your breast shot up to cover your mouth. “Shhh” He cautioned as he massaged you through your shorts. Instinctively,  you moaned the palm of his hand.
A glimmer of guilt sparked within you as Bakugo toyed with you. The pace of your heartbeat quickened at the thought of Denki wondering upon this sight, his girl and one of his best friends. Bakugo hadn’t taken kindly to you drifting off with your thoughts, he pinched your nipple hard causing you to wince. 
“Don’t worry about your boyfriend.” He grunted. “He went with the others to get snacks for later, we’ve got time.” Both of his hands had made their way under the nearly sheer material of your tank top to continue working your nipples. “You know I was keeping it together just fine, but I didn’t know that your nipples were pierced and then you’ve got them on full display. Kaminari is an idiot for leaving, I don’t see how he could even do it.” He cooed into your ear. It was as if his words bypassed your brain and went right to your needy heat. 
Bakugo adjusted his position so that he was sitting you were on his lap, leaning with the back of your head resting on your chest. You could feel his length straining against his jeans and it managed to peak your curiosity causing you to grow even needier. Once again his hand traveled between your legs only this time his hand went under your shorts. He trailed his fingertip up and down your messy slit teasing at the wet spot on your underwear. Bakugo chuckled at what he felt and the way that you breath hitched in his throat at even his lightest touch.  
“Bakugou.” You grunted fighting against him finally trying to put up a fight. He then takes your sensitive bud between his fingertips and presses it hard. Causing you to gasp.
  “You can call me Katsuki, kitten.”  He corrected you. “Don’t make me tie your hands, this is supposed to be easy.”  Pulling your soiled painted to the side he plunged two calloused fingers into your needy cunt. You moaned and writhed at his actions, he instantly found you spongy core working you over quickly.  “See how much fun it’ll be if you just relax.” Bakugou nipped at your ear. 
He abruptly shoved down your pants and underwear exposing more of your supple brown skin. All restraint had fallen by the wayside as he tore into your white tank top exposing your pebbled dark brown nipples that stood pert and yearned for his touch. One of his hands roughly needed your bests while the other mercilessly abused your clit. You found yourself grinding into his lap against his striating erection, wanting it more than anything. 
However, in the back of your mind you still thought of Denki, while the two of you weren’t in a relationship it didn’t excuse you actions. 
“All you have to do is ask if you want it kitten.” He breathes hastily in your ear once again breaking your train of thought. He palmed himself through his jeans before hastily shoving them down, finally freeing his dick from it restraints. His dick was thick unlike anything you’d ever seen, you drooled at the mushroom tip that oozed with precum. The way it so deliciously slid off of his tip down is length teasing you.  “ God, you’re hungry. “ He said as he admired your swollen lower lip poking out. He flashed a bashful grin before making you turn back around, lining himself up with your entrance he sank  into you from behind filling you completely. You moaned around his girth, and waited a few moments expecting him pick up a deadly pace. But nothing happened. 
Bakugou was buried  deep within you and he was just sitting there.  His actions were frustrating, he had gotten you all riled up just for this. You threw your weight back into him and began to work yourself around him. At first, your moments were slow, but as you began to hear small moans from Bakugou your pace quickened just a little. Although embarrassed you couldn’t stop he felt too good inside of you, stretching you out in the most luscious way possible. 
“I knew you were a greedy slut but this is just too good.” He chuckled. You could hear him smiling, a small explosion cracked against the bear skin of your ass and you whimpered. “ Pick up the pace neither of us will get off if you keep doing it like that.” He laughed. However, you did pick up the pace at his request. “ That’s it, just like that.” He said gripping onto your hips pulling you back into him. After a while he grew impatient and tightened his grip on your hips before bottoming out inside of you. He took up a brutal rhythm, slamming himself deep inside of you.     
“K-Katsuki?” You moaned through gritted teeth. His nails dug into the creases of your hip as he fucked into you ignoring your calls. “Katsuki please.” You called through half lidded eyes. Your release was right on the edge and just as you were about to indulge in your own orgasm Bakugou withdrew himself leaving your cunt to clench around emptiness. His actions elicited a gasp from you. He looked displeased as he stuffed himself back into his pants, you glared at him. You whimpered and wiggled you butt at him silently begging for more.
“You yap like that when Kaminari fucks you? All of that noise was making it impossible to finish.” He said looking down at you.  Heat peppered you cheek as spoke to you  while you clung to the remains of your tank top. All of the softness in his eyes has dissipated leaving nothing to cut the intensity of his scarlet gaze.  “ That little spazz has bearly got you trained at all.” He spat. “ I’ll have to fix that.” He said. “ Be at my door at 10 o’clock tonight. Don’t be late or  you’ll regret it.” He finished. 
“But what about Kaminari?” You asked, at last you showed the slightest bit of concern for your lover. Usually one of you would sneak off to the others room in the middle if the night, how could you explain your whereabouts if he came to see you and you weren’t in your room. 
“You’ll figure it out.” He said as he walked away leaving you clutching the tattered remains of your white tank top. 
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sotheywrotestories · 5 years ago
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Disease
This fic is NOT related to Covid-19 or self isolation
Request: Lokixreader, reader is sick or injured from a mission. @dreams-of-feysand
Pairings: Loki x Reader
Warnings: Sickness, quarantine (not Covid related), language
Word Count: 1,599 words (she thicc)
This fic was started before the Covid-19 outbreak and is in no way related to current events. If such events are too triggering or make you uncomfortable, please scroll ahead. Any sickness related material will be placed under a cut. 
Take care of yourself and check up on your friends, love you all
                                                            ***
(Y/N) was careful about missions. Always. And if she wasn’t, Loki was. He watched her back when he knew he should really be worrying about himself, but he couldn’t help it, she was so fragile, in his mind, he never wanted anything to happen to her.
But he would never let anyone know what his true feelings to her were. He treated her as though she was just another Midgardian scum and that he was far above her in every way possible.
He knew he could get away with treating her like shit at the compound because that’s how he treated everyone and if he treated her even slightly differently, people would question him. It’s just easier to treat her the same as everyone else.
On the field was different. He looked like he was just concerned about her well being because she is his teammate, it doesn’t look like it has anything to do with his real, true, and raw feelings for her.
He never expected a large enemy inside the compound. Not even a physical enemy. He’s beyond prepared to fight any intruder that dared to threaten the well being of anyone in the compound, especially (Y/N).
He was not, however, prepared when the entire wing (Y/N)’s room was tucked into was put under quarantine. It happened in the night.
Loki vaguely remembered hearing loud noises late at night, but it being a hallway away, he didn’t have a care. It was the next morning, when the hallway had a plastic tarp over it, a giant yellow biohazard warning on the zip door.
“What…,” Loki pointed half-heartedly at the impromptu wall.
“(Y/N) contracted some weird disease on the last mission, we had to put her under quarantine,” Tony sipped on his coffee. “We don’t know how it’s transmitted so we’re taking every precaution.”
“Is she okay?” Loki asks.
“It just looks like a common cold right now, but none of her tests are coming back with anything we know,” Bruce said. “We are just treating it like a common cold, but I suppose we’ll see as time goes on.”
“Well,” Loki swallowed the lump in his throat. “She was foolish enough to get sick.”
                                                          ***
Loki wasn’t concerned about catching this mystery disease. He’s a god. Certainly, some disease a Midgardian had couldn’t do anything.
He was worried about (Y/N) not doing well because of the disease. It slightly scared him that she had to be placed behind a sheet of plastic just because Tony and Bruce didn’t know what it was she had come down with.
But if it was just an alien cold? Even if it was just a cold would her mortal body be able to handle it?
So Loki poured himself into looking up every illness there was across the nine realms. Her symptoms developed rapidly from a runny nose to a headache and a stomach ache in between. Which helped Loki all of none, being since early every sickness had the same symptoms as any Midgardian cold.
“Brother,” Thor boomed. “I have returned from Asgard with the books you requested. I do not, however, understand your need for these books, they appear only be about sickness.”
“Yes, you buffoon, I’m being useful for once and seeing if I can try and figure out what illness plagues Lady (Y/N),” Loki snarled.
“She is the one you love,” Thor nodded.
“Excuse me?” Loki snapped his head up. “What did you say?”
“Oh, come now, Loki,” Thor tossed his hand to the side. “Anyone with two eyes can see how infatuated you are with Lady (Y/N).”
“…they can?” Loki paled. 
 Thor laughed, slapping a hand on Loki’s shoulder and leaving the library.
“You are not nearly as subtle as you think you are.”
                                                            ***
“I wish to see (Y/N),” Loki said, standing at the zipper door of the plastic hallway.
“No can do, reindeer games. She’s sick we can’t risk exposure,” Tony said absentmindedly.
“I cannot get sick.”
 “It’s not about you, Loki,” Bruce peered over his glasses. “It’s about whatever it is living on you and then finding its way out here.”
“I think I know what it is,” Loki finally turned to the science pair, glancing at Natasha tucked in the corner. “If I can be in the room with her, I can get a more accurate reading and perhaps rid her of this disease.”
Natasha laughed and sat a little straighter in her padded chair.
“Well, she doesn’t want to see you,” Natasha said. “She doesn’t want anyone to see her as sick as she is.”
“It bothers me not.”
Bruce sighed, taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose.
“Well, okay. If you’re so confident. But we’ll have to hose you down after and you’ll have to take every precaution.”
                                                            ***
Loki waddled his way into (Y/N)’s room in a big, yellow hazmat suit.
“I’m here to help,” he smiled slightly.
“Lokes,” (Y/N) smiled, her eyes tired. “What’re you doing here.”
“I just said, I’m here to help.”
Loki maneuvered a chair to sit next to her bed and awkwardly sat in the giant plastic bag.
“I don’t think you can help with this one.”
And the look of her did deter Loki just a bit. Her hair was a little less vibrant and her eyes dulled to what they used to be. And she looked weak. Like her body was fighting something she just couldn’t handle.
“It’s alien.”
“Yes.”
Loki nodded. “You know this.”
“I know that we don’t know what it is, so ergo, yes, I know it’s alien.”
They were silent.
“What if I used magic to fix it,” Loki suggested.
“We cannot use your magic as a catch-all for every problem we face.”
“What if this problem can only be solved with magic?”
(Y/N) squinted at Loki.
“How much research have you put into this, Loki?” (Y/N) asked.
“Enough to know that there is no solution here on Midgard, or, if we ever found one it would be far past hat your body could handle.”
(Y/N) heaved a sigh and lied back in her bed. Her eyes fluttered shut.
“I don’t want to have to depend on your magic to get better.”
Loki bit his lip, debating whether or not this was the right time to confess his true feelings for the girl.
“(Y/N),” he cleared his throat. She turned her head. “I care far too much for you for you to deny what I can do to help you get over this mystery sickness.”
(Y/N) met his gaze one more time.
“Loki I need you to be so sure of this that I’m not going to get hurt, that no one else can possibly get sick from whatever it is you plan on doing.”
Loki nodded. “I can promise, (Y/N). Whether or not Ic are about the rest of the team, I would never do anything to endanger anyone you care about.”
                                                          ***
Tony and Bruce joined the pair in their own hazmat suits, insisting they be present when Loki did whatever it was he thought could help (Y/N) get better.
“So what’s the plan here,” Tony plopped into a plastic chair.
“The plan,” Loki rolled his eyes, “is to use Seidr to move the virus from her body.”
“Where will it go?” Banner took notes on is StarkPad.
“Where would it be safest for it to go? Where can you send it, Lokes?” (Y/N) rasped from the bed.
“I can send it back to the planet it came from.”
“Do that,” Tony waved his hand, clearly done with the conversation that he started.
Loki nodded and looked back down at (Y/N), making sure she was ready for whatever it was he was about to do. He carefully removed the gloves from the suit and looked into her eyes.
“I believe in you, Lokes,” she sighed.
Oh, good, Loki thought. So if I mess up, that’s that, then.
Loki carefully grabbed her hands and focused his Seidr into taking all foreign substances from her body and sending them back to where they came from originally.
“You’re sure you don’t want any of this? For study?” He asked, his own eyes closing.
“No, we have what we need, we don’t want more of this around than necessary.”
It was a process all of fifteen minutes. By the end of it, (Y/N) already looked five times better.
“I feel so much better,” her body melted into the bed.
“You look better, Kid,” Tony stood up, smiling.
“All vitals are at a stable place.,” Bruce reported. “She’s virtually recovered.”
“Oh, good,” Loki ripped the mask off his suit, already tired of being confined to one bubble of plastic. “Now, you will feel like you just have a cold, so.”
Loki materialized a bowl of soup and a packet of tissues.
“I’m gonna leave, now,” Tony said, ripped the plastic off the walls. “You two…do what you do…Bruce? Wanna…get out of here.”
Bruce nodded, still tapping away at his pad and making casual observations.
“Soup?” (Y/N) laughed, her cheeks feeling hot.
“Is that not right?” Loki tore the rest of his suit off. “Wanda told me it can make mortals feel better.”
“Yeah, I mean, definitely just…wasn’t expecting you…to bring this, I guess.”
“I already told you, silly girl,” Loki rolled his eyes. “I care about you far more than I let on.”
"Well, (Y/N) took a slurp of soup. “I care about you, too.”
Though the sickness was scary, Loki couldn’t be more thankful for an opportunity to baby the one Midgardian he could more than tolerate.
Tags:
Permanent:
 @im-not-an-egirl-im-baby​ @ima-fucking-nerd​​  @embrace-themagic @fireboltrose5737@whatdafricklefrackle@peeterparkr @sherlokiantheatrenerd @legit-fandom-trash​ @abitchformarvel​​​ @dark-night-sky-99​​​ @dreams-of-feysand​
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legion1993 · 4 years ago
Text
We Are What????
Tumblr media
Title: we are what????
Pairing: Jensen x reader
Fluff sq: long lost sibling
Tags: tabooo, long lost brother and long lost sister loosing virginity to eachother, long lost brother and long lost sister married in vegas, long lost siblings learning the truth after its too late, long lost sibling sex
***NOTE: INTENDED FOR 18+ DO NOT READ IF UNDERAGE DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT DO SO UNDER THE TUMBLR GUIDELINES. PLEASE DONT READ IF UNDERAGE. I AM NOT JOKING. 18+ READERS ONLY STORY CONTAINS TABOO, LONG LOST SIBLINGS LOOSING THEIR VIRGINITY TO EACHOTHER! AGAIN DO NOT READ IF UNDERAGE***
rating: 18+
summery: not telling
created for @spnfluffbingo​
fluff 2020 masterlist
it had been the best vacation, it had been the best vacation you had taken to date. the events went as follows: 
you were on vacation this was well deserved, this was your 3 weeks away from the busy of running your own business.
 your co ceo thought you deserved a vacation after you worked your ass off for almost 3 years to get your company to where it is today.
 you were in Vegas, you were gonna dance, gamble, and drink and just enjoy yourself. You were now 5 days into your vacation and sitting at one of the blackjack tables you meet a very interesting opponent.
 YN: “do you come here often?”
 jensen: “nope I can only come here when my brother is home to watch the place. I’m Jensen by the way but everyone calls me Jay.”
 YN: “YN it’s nice to meet you. Do you normally play blackjack?”
 Jensen could only laugh as he played his turn.
Jensen: “no normally I play poker but I figured I’d switch it up. I’ll stand. So YN what brings you to Vegas other than obviously to get your butt kicked at blackjack.”
 YN: “I’ll stand as well. My Co ceo of my company thought I could use a vacation after 3 years of building the company non stop. So she sent me here to have the time of my life for 3 weeks with possibility of extension.” 
the dealer: “reveal your hands one at a time.”
jensen reveals a hand of 19. You smile darkly.
YN: “I hope your not too disappointed with this.” 
You say as you reveal your hand to be 21.
YN: “blackjack. I win!”
the dealer: “congratulations to YN our winner for the 5th night in a row. Do you want to cash out or do you want to bank for more play time later?”
yN: “I’ll bank I owe my opponent an apology drink!”
that was your first mistake. After several drinks you both were hammered. Walking back to the hotel cause through the drinking you both discovered that you were staying in the same hotel. 
you stopped at the wedding chapel. You both went to get ready and graciously paid the people for their service.
officiant: “Jensen and YN you have come here tonight to be joined in the eyes of God and the church. You may say your vows when your ready.”
Jensen takes your ring and slides it on your finger. 
Jensen: "YN I've only known you a few short moments but it feels like a lifetime. It feels like destiny. I promise to evermore love, honor. Cherish and protect thee now and evermore!" 
you took Jensen's ring and placed it on his finger.
yN: "Jensen, I feel the exact same way and I know that right now we are probably doing something that when morrow light breaks through will seem like a bad idea but I now and ever more will love honor cherish and protect thee forever with all my being!"
officiant: "then I hear by pronounce you husband and wife. Jensen you may kiss your bride!"
Jensen dipped you as he kissed you. Then you both signed some papers and were led to where both your bags were on a trolley and being taken to the honeymoon suite. 
graciously tipping the bellboy who loaded the bags into the doorway for you both and then left. Jensen picked you up bridal style and tis is how you lost your virginity.
Jensen and you tore each other's clothes off then while he had you pinned against the wall, he slid his cock into your pussy.
pounding you against the wall, in the shower, in the kitchenette, on the table, on the couch, on the floor and finally on the bed. Yes you both christened that honeymoon suite. 
for the next morning at yonder Light breaks through the window. you both woke to an array of feathers everywhere you both were snuggled together and then it sunk in. Both of you sitting straight up and looking around the room.
jensen: "what happened last night?" 
yN: "I remember the blackjack game and nothing after."
that's when you looked at your finger... Holding it up for Jensen to see.
yN: "clearly something else happened last night. Cause I don't remember getting married."
jensen: "let's think rationally now. Is it really so bad honestly come on let's at least see what we can be as a couple before we jump to any conclusions. How bout this I'll go hone with you once we are done in Vegas and we will figure us out."
yN: "sounds good to me plus you are hot I'm not surprised either way that I married you." 
Jensen could only laugh as he ushered for you to come back to the bed.  You went back to the bed, Jensen's strong embrace wrapping around you immediately. You sat on his lap his hands roaming cross your skin. 
Jensen: "now let's enjoy our honeymoon and make some magic of our own."
YN: "shouldn't we eat?"
 Jensen: "we will order room service after we finish waking up. I say we clean up the place a bit and take a shower then call room service."
YN: "clean a bit first, then shower cause it makes no sense to shower then clean. Oh I should warn you thaw t my place is new and needs a bit of reno work…"
Jensen could only laugh. 
Jensen: "that's okay it will be an amazing starter home for us or at least till we figure us out."
You went to your phone and connected to the Bluetooth speaker in the room. You played your Playlist as you and Jensen got to work. Cleaning, dancing, singing. Taking a shower you went in first Jensen called room service then joined you. 
Things starting to slowly feel normal. Throughout the rest of the vacation you both spent time at the casino, doing shopping, both of you taking full honeymoon advantage.
 The flight home was alot more enjoyable with someone to spend it with, you slept on his shoulder and he used your head as a rest spot as well his arm was around your shoulder.
 It was the most comfortable ride of your life. The arrival back on your home soil was a relief to see that it was still busy beyond compare. You went and picked up your car (black 2019 Dodge Challenger) from the parking valet. 
Jensen: "she is a beauty." 
YN: "the GPS is already programed to take us home. Do you want to drive?" 
Jensen perked up when he got back to you after having taken a lap round the car. He smiled. 
Jensen: "I would love to but I have to ask how the hell did you afford this?" 
YN: "Perk of having my own business and on top of that perk of being the world's best selling brand of sunglasses. Now get in and start her up!" 
Jensen and you both got into the car and jensen took a breath as he started the engine. Jensen ran his fingers over the steering wheel and just completely fell in love with your baby.
 Jensen: "damn YN she is a beauty. Now let's hear her purr."
 Jensen sticks your car in drive and slowly brings you both out of the parade. Once the speed sign showed that he could go 60 he stuck you baby in gear and took off. he knew to obey the rules of the road but he still had fun with it.
 Along the way your Playlist silently played in the background as you and Jensen played 20 questions. The more you both talked and the questions answered the more you both felt like you could actually pull this off, but of course you weren't gonna say anything. 
Jensen: "this neighborhood is beautiful. How much further to your place?" 
YN: "3 more blocks then it will be number 344 on your left."
 Jensen slowly drove down the blocks he smiled to himself the thought that he was married and to a woman who makes the most amazing sunglasses. His hand remained in the wheel and the shifter but your hand floated to rest in his hand.
 Arriving at your house in a matter of moments you noticed another car in the driveway that was not familiar to you. 
YN: "that car doesnt belong to me.. someone unexpected is here."
Jensen: "relax YN lets grab the bags and walk to the door im sure its nothing to worry about."
Grabbing the bags you both went up to the front door, you saw it was open a crack… You both slowly walked inside.
 YN: "hello, whoever is in here this house is owned…" 
Steps came from the basement and down the kitchen floor standing now in the doorway to your kitchen was your mom.
 Sheila: "surprise!" 
You dropped your bags and ran into the embrace of the person who had sat there with you while you cried about your loveless life. 
Yn: "I thought you weren't coming for a few weeks." 
Sheila: "yes well when we last spoke you said you wanted to do some renovations on the house. But that you were gonna do that on your own after you got back from your trip. So i decided that i would be here when you got back to surprise you… dad thought you could use the help and if he wasnt busy running the store back home he would be here too…"
You and your mom oulled back when Jensen cleared his throat clearly wanting to get your attention. You pulldd back from your mom and went back to jensen. Who now extended his hand towards your mom.
 Jensen: "ma'am my name is Jensen i am your daughters husband well kinda we…"
Yn: "twas a drunken wedding in vegas and one thing led to a really amazing vacation plus he is a loyal customer for my sunglasses. So i brought him home so we could see if we want to remain married or divorce. I gues thats my surprise as well… im really glad your here mom."
Sheila shoke jensens hand and then smiled as she heard a timer go off. 
Sheila: "go on take your stuff to your room dears. ill do it all for you both not to worry. Now go upstairs and make sure only your laundry comes down to the laundry room.. lunch will be ready soon!"
You and jensen with your bags go upstairs to your room. Your king bed and furniture exactly how you left it. 
Jensen: "renovations huh?"
Yn: "ya some painting and replacing carpet with laminate type thing. Paint every room in this house a different color depending on what the room is. Laminate to match each room. Im ambitious. Also restain the deck leading to the pool in the back. The pool cleaner and the lawn tendants should have been by and if not yet they will be by later. Running my own company comes with perks. Sorry im ramblin."
Jensen: "its alright i think its kinda cute. Now when do we get started on these renovations?"
You smile as you  go to grab your laundry basket for yours and jensens clothes.
YN: "soon as i go pick up the paint i picked out what colors i wanted for each room before i left but now that im back i can get them and start painting and shifting stuff around and and and."
You now put your hands on the bed as you just stood there. 
You were way passed overwhelmed, this made way for Jensen who had just finished getting settled in throwing his dirty clothes in the basket before coming up behind you wraping his arms around you like it was normal. 
Jensen: “dont get worked up as part of seeing all we can be ill help you renovate the house. Tomorrow we will pick up the paint and whatever else we think we will need and we will be fine. For now lets get this laundry pile put together and taken down to your mom. Then you can show me kinda what needs to be moved and where it needs to be moved to for each room to be set up so it can be painted and then we will get the floors done once everything is painted. Room by room. This house will be prestige when we are done. It will reflect the woman you are. And i look forward to renovating this home with you.”
You smiled. As you threw several more things into the basket, then you came across the wedding attire that you both realized might need to be dry cleaned instead. 
You put them off to the side and decided that you would hand them to your assistant the next time you would see her. You were not okay still, you had a lurking strange feeling in your stomach that something was terribly wrong. 
Jensen was hot, sure neither of you rememebred anything except for what you all were told by the staff. You were now sure that something was wrong. It was something in Jensen’s eyes and nature that made your mind question what was happening right then.
 But you ignored it, you felt happier than you had in ages. 
YN: “ya i guess your right. Now lets go down to mom before she decides to think degenerates of us.”
Jensen: “technically we are married degenerates. But your right as well. Lets go.”
Jensen carried the basket following you as you both walked back downstairs. You showed him where to place the laundry basket then both of you went into the living room. 
Your eyes floated to the table to the stack of coupons and various packages and other mail items on the coffee table in the living room. 
Jensen: “damn girl are you always that popular?”
YN: “yep every day… but this is from the passed month excluding todays cause it doesnt come for another hour. This will be fun. Would you like to help me open this massive pile of whatever is in here?”
Jensen: “do you have a letter opener?”
You go over to the kitchen to your junk drawer and come back with your personalized black canary letter opener… you handed it to Jensen who marveled it for a few moments before kneeling down beside you as you proceeded to organize the mail into piles.
 Jensen: “i hope one day soon to be moved in here permenantly with you. Honestly i feel so happy and we are probably gonna be expecting before we know it with how much we did not leave the bed during our time in Vegas…”
You smiled at that thought. You a mother how much of a quaint little idea that was. Damn your babies would be lookers. Jensen started with the parcels he opened them one at a time then you would go into the parcel and pull out whatever was inside.
Jensen: “i know you are thinking, you make this face when your focused or thinking i noticed it first when you were answering your emails and such while we were in vegas. Are you okay?”
YN: “hmm… yeah im okay just doing some planning in my head. Usually how i open my mail. Im sorry ive been so quiet.”
Jensen put his arm around your shoulder before you had finished speaking.
Jensen: “its all good i know you have alot on your plate. Just dont be afraid to talk to me if you ever want to.”
YN: "thank you. Now let's finish going through the mail and then I need to conference call with my assistant to make sure our week is on track."
Jensen smiled he could not believe that you were the one who made such amazing sun glasses! They were literally his favorite pair. You were the embodiment of grace and beauty,  from Jensen's point of view you were an angel.You spent the rest of the day showing jensen how your life works. 
Your mom ordered chinese for dinner with extra for left overs for the next few days. That was fine. Renovations went amazing! The next month was about getting settled in, sure the renos took longer but that was perfectly fine.
 A room a week, the flooring would be done later.. once everything was painted. Jensen and you sat in on a few confrence calls from the house during the renos and then you decided to show jensen the company and how it works make him your temp secretary while you gave your current one the month off.
 You woke up however one morning feeling off. You went to the bathroom and went through your morning work routine, shower, do your hair, make out with jensen. But this one morning you felt all bloated and gross.
 You got into the shower and thats when it happened you got that nauseous feeling. The words "oh shit" went through your head as just as you knelt down beneath the waters flow you threw up instantly.
 It was 5 minutes later that you were finally able to speak enough.
YN: "jensen…"
Footsteps were heard, jensen knew your routine, this was unusual. He came into the bathroom and opened the shower curtain to reveal you knelt down and a small pile of slowly washing awake puke. He shut off the shower head but kept the water flowing.
 Jensen: "what happened?"
YN: "i was feeling off, but i didnt think i would vomit, can you call xavier and tell him that he has to handle everything today im not going in."
Jensen: "let me get you out of there after i help you clean all the vomit off and wash your hair, then ill clean the bathtub and then ill spend the entire day waiting on my girl!"
This was the first time that Jensen had used a pet name for you or referred to you as something other than YN. This was a good sign meant he was getting used to the idea but so were you for you were putty in Jensen's arms not cause of the nausea but cause of how he made you feel. 
You watched as he cleaned the bathtub, wiped up the water off the ground, sprayed febreeze in the bathroom. You were not okay but you felt something new. 
Another month would pass before this would ever occur again. Sure enough it did this time at work. Jensen against your pleading took you to the hospital. You were pleading that you were okay and didn't need it but you kept being shot down.
 The doctors took blood work, had you peee in a cup, hooked you to a iv drip. They were doing everything they could think of. Till the doctor came in the room with a nurse with an ultrasound machine.
 Doctor: "we are just gonna make sure everything is good with your abdomen. Don't worry bout a thing. It's painless. I'm just gonna unzip your jeans a bit and then lift your shirt a bit so I can put the jelly on."
 You and Jensen complied never expecting this as a possible outcome. Never suspecting that this would be the moment you would be within the grasp of several doctors all of whom have looked after you since you were a child. 
Doc: "ok lets see what this shows. And if anything else i would like to run dna matches on both of you. Just a precautionary measure. Nothing to… oh well this is definately the source… tell me YN when was your last period?"
You had to think about that cause you last had it during the vegas trip. Good thing showers exist… but anyway you were sure you knew the answer but you complied anyway.
YN: "I think it was during my Vegas trip but doc please tell me what is going on…"
Doctor turns the monitor to face you and Jensen whose face along with yours goes pale white. 
Doctor: "congratulations your pregnant! But I want to run a blood sample on both of you to find out why there was an abnormality in your blood work."
Jensen and you get blood drawn while the fact that you were expecting a child while not even sure yet if your marriage would last. 
Jensen: "what abnormality could be in your blood work?" 
YN: "that's what you choose to discuss, not the fact that we are pregnant?" 
Jensen: "I'm shocked probably as much as you but right now I want to address that I am thrilled about this baby. Even if we haven't figured us out we are parents to a brand new life we created in this short period together. I could not think of a better way to spend the rest of my life than with you and this child."
That of course is when the doctor returned. 
Doctor: "so you both are the correct parents of this child but the abnormality in both your blood works showed several similar strands of DNA. You are siblings more specifically twins."
This made Jensen and you drop your Jaws, neither of you were expecting the news about the baby, but now finding out your siblings well that made you both shocked as fuck.
Doctor: "judging the reactions crossing both your features I am gonna gather that you both knew not of this."
Jensen: "are we done here can we go home now?"
 Doctor: "of course just be sure to come back in 4 months for another check up for the baby. And congratulations as well as I'm sorry."
 The doctor left, you and Jensen took all the stuff, now in the car with the papers of both results had to now find a way to break both news to your mother. Never thinking that anyone else would be at the house when your arrival home came round. 
You pulled into the driveway, both of you holding the file with both sets of results. Walked inside to see not only your mom but your best friend and your father as well, your best friend ran straight for you as you did her, then you let her go and was immediately embraced by your father.
 YN: "can everyone sit down and jensen will grab you all something strong to drink while we tell you something we just found out."
Jensen goes and pours some drinks for your father, mother and best friend as you both sit in front of them and begin the confrontation of a lifetime.Jensen: "for those who don't know me that I am meeting for the first time I'm Jensen YN is my wife. YN got a little sick at work so we just got back from the hospital. We found out 2 things while there."
Yn: "mom dad was there another child that you guys had along side me… Like am I a twin?" 
Sheila: "yes you are, I am ashamed that you are just finding this out now. I never thought you would. We had to make a choice when you and your brother were born money was a luxury we didn't have a lot of. We could only afford to keep one of you so we made sure your brother got adopted into a good family who would give him the life he deserved. We kept you cause we always wanted a girl. Why do you ask?"
You pull out the DNA match results between you and Jensen and hand it to your parents. They look at the paper and immediately look at Jensen they begin to shed tears of joy toasting to Jensen the prodigal son!
 But you both still had to tell them the other news. You were gonna let Jensen take this one cause you were still shocked to say the other set of news…
 Frank: "what's your other set of news? Also what happens to your marriage now with this news as I assume you both have done the deed together…?"
 Jensen: "dad, mom cause we did the deed and this entire marriage thing, consequences flurished before we found out about us being twins. We have to say we are still in shock but we are willing to make things work if you guys agree to help us…"
Jensen hands them the second set of results. You feel your hand drop to your belly Jensen's on top of yous as they look at those results. Your best friend doesn't look at the results cause she could tell from the moment she saw you.. 
Talia: "I'm gonna be an aunt yippee!!!" 
Sheila: "Talia can you please give us a few moments to speak with our children alone."
Talia: "of course."
 Talia leaves the room not straying too far so she can hear everything.
 Sheila: "Jensen we are so happy you have found your way back into our lives. We hope you come to accept us as your parents and not as those that gave you up…" 
Frank: "we understand the lure that you both had to eachother I mean you both look like supermodels good looks and all. Though we don't entirely approve of the way you came back into our lives son. We are proud of the strong people you both have become. YN my daughter we are honored to be your parents and now the grandparents to this grand baby that will grace this world soon!"
Sheila: "we are a family again!"
Jensen and you hug it out with your parents as you leave their embrace to go and sit on the steps with your best friend.
 Talia: "so you married your long lost twin brother?"
 YN: "drunk married my long lost twin yes but in our defense we were plastered. Neither of us were thinking straight and we didn't know we were siblings."
Talia: "how long till I get to meet my niece or nephew?" 
YN: "7 months but in my defense neither me nor Jensen nor anyone else  get to find out the gender for another 4 months. But how would closer to the due date you like to become a hired live in nanny type person just to help out around here once the baby is born what do you say sis?"
Talia just hugs you both of you just sitting there perfect harmony while Jensen is with your parents in the living room filling them in on his upbringing and stuff like that. 
You were sitting there with your best friend reminiscing on a time when things were simpler..You both were called back into the room at that moment. Re-entering the room you go to stand beside your husband/twin brother.
Frank: “after so long we are a whole family again. Now our family is expanding and we are so grateful to have the opportunity to be with you all. Jensen, YN though the circumstances under which you met were not ideal, you both are not shunned, not disregarded in any way shape or form. You both did right in the eyes of god and the church. It is only fit that we offer to help you both in any way we possibly can with the preparations for the arrival of the baby. To Yn and Jensen may the odds be ever in your favor…”
This was now the time when you regretted showing your father the hunger games! But the toasts flew in and chinese was ordered, everyone except you drank. What happened after that is you and your twin brother husband person thing lived happily ever after.
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drkcnry67 · 4 years ago
Text
WE ARE WHAT??!
Tumblr media
Title: we are what????
Pairing: Jensen x reader
Fluff sq: long lost sibling
H&H sq: reverse!verse
Tags: tabooo, long lost brother and long lost sister loosing virginity to eachother, long lost brother and long lost sister married in vegas, long lost siblings learning the truth after its too late, long lost sibling sex
***NOTE: INTENDED FOR 18+ DO NOT READ IF UNDERAGE DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT DO SO UNDER THE TUMBLR GUIDELINES. PLEASE DONT READ IF UNDERAGE. I AM NOT JOKING. 18+ READERS ONLY STORY CONTAINS TABOO, LONG LOST SIBLINGS LOOSING THEIR VIRGINITY TO EACHOTHER! AGAIN DO NOT READ IF UNDERAGE***
rating: 18+
summery: not telling
created for @spnfluffbingo​ @heavenandhellbingo​
fluff 2020 masterlist   heaven and hell 2020
it had been the best vacation, it had been the best vacation you had taken to date. the events went as follows: 
you were on vacation this was well deserved, this was your 3 weeks away from the busy of running your own business.
 your co ceo thought you deserved a vacation after you worked your ass off for almost 3 years to get your company to where it is today.
 you were in Vegas, you were gonna dance, gamble, and drink and just enjoy yourself. You were now 5 days into your vacation and sitting at one of the blackjack tables you meet a very interesting opponent.
 YN: “do you come here often?”
 jensen: “nope I can only come here when my brother is home to watch the place. I’m Jensen by the way but everyone calls me Jay.”
 YN: “YN it’s nice to meet you. Do you normally play blackjack?”
 Jensen could only laugh as he played his turn.
Jensen: “no normally I play poker but I figured I’d switch it up. I’ll stand. So YN what brings you to Vegas other than obviously to get your butt kicked at blackjack.”
 YN: “I’ll stand as well. My Co ceo of my company thought I could use a vacation after 3 years of building the company non stop. So she sent me here to have the time of my life for 3 weeks with possibility of extension.” 
the dealer: “reveal your hands one at a time.”
jensen reveals a hand of 19. You smile darkly.
YN: “I hope your not too disappointed with this.” 
You say as you reveal your hand to be 21.
YN: “blackjack. I win!”
the dealer: “congratulations to YN our winner for the 5th night in a row. Do you want to cash out or do you want to bank for more play time later?”
yN: “I’ll bank I owe my opponent an apology drink!”
that was your first mistake. After several drinks you both were hammered. Walking back to the hotel cause through the drinking you both discovered that you were staying in the same hotel. 
you stopped at the wedding chapel. You both went to get ready and graciously paid the people for their service.
officiant: “Jensen and YN you have come here tonight to be joined in the eyes of God and the church. You may say your vows when your ready.”
Jensen takes your ring and slides it on your finger. 
Jensen: "YN I've only known you a few short moments but it feels like a lifetime. It feels like destiny. I promise to evermore love, honor. Cherish and protect thee now and evermore!" 
you took Jensen's ring and placed it on his finger.
yN: "Jensen, I feel the exact same way and I know that right now we are probably doing something that when morrow light breaks through will seem like a bad idea but I now and ever more will love honor cherish and protect thee forever with all my being!"
officiant: "then I hear by pronounce you husband and wife. Jensen you may kiss your bride!"
Jensen dipped you as he kissed you. Then you both signed some papers and were led to where both your bags were on a trolley and being taken to the honeymoon suite. 
graciously tipping the bellboy who loaded the bags into the doorway for you both and then left. Jensen picked you up bridal style and tis is how you lost your virginity.
Jensen and you tore each other's clothes off then while he had you pinned against the wall, he slid his cock into your pussy.
pounding you against the wall, in the shower, in the kitchenette, on the table, on the couch, on the floor and finally on the bed. Yes you both christened that honeymoon suite. 
for the next morning at yonder Light breaks through the window. you both woke to an array of feathers everywhere you both were snuggled together and then it sunk in. Both of you sitting straight up and looking around the room.
jensen: "what happened last night?" 
yN: "I remember the blackjack game and nothing after."
that's when you looked at your finger... Holding it up for Jensen to see.
yN: "clearly something else happened last night. Cause I don't remember getting married."
jensen: "let's think rationally now. Is it really so bad honestly come on let's at least see what we can be as a couple before we jump to any conclusions. How bout this I'll go hone with you once we are done in Vegas and we will figure us out."
yN: "sounds good to me plus you are hot I'm not surprised either way that I married you." 
Jensen could only laugh as he ushered for you to come back to the bed.  You went back to the bed, Jensen's strong embrace wrapping around you immediately. You sat on his lap his hands roaming cross your skin. 
Jensen: "now let's enjoy our honeymoon and make some magic of our own."
YN: "shouldn't we eat?"
 Jensen: "we will order room service after we finish waking up. I say we clean up the place a bit and take a shower then call room service."
YN: "clean a bit first, then shower cause it makes no sense to shower then clean. Oh I should warn you thaw t my place is new and needs a bit of reno work…"
Jensen could only laugh. 
Jensen: "that's okay it will be an amazing starter home for us or at least till we figure us out."
You went to your phone and connected to the Bluetooth speaker in the room. You played your Playlist as you and Jensen got to work. Cleaning, dancing, singing. Taking a shower you went in first Jensen called room service then joined you. 
Things starting to slowly feel normal. Throughout the rest of the vacation you both spent time at the casino, doing shopping, both of you taking full honeymoon advantage.
 The flight home was alot more enjoyable with someone to spend it with, you slept on his shoulder and he used your head as a rest spot as well his arm was around your shoulder.
 It was the most comfortable ride of your life. The arrival back on your home soil was a relief to see that it was still busy beyond compare. You went and picked up your car (black 2019 Dodge Challenger) from the parking valet. 
Jensen: "she is a beauty." 
YN: "the GPS is already programed to take us home. Do you want to drive?" 
Jensen perked up when he got back to you after having taken a lap round the car. He smiled. 
Jensen: "I would love to but I have to ask how the hell did you afford this?" 
YN: "Perk of having my own business and on top of that perk of being the world's best selling brand of sunglasses. Now get in and start her up!" 
Jensen and you both got into the car and jensen took a breath as he started the engine. Jensen ran his fingers over the steering wheel and just completely fell in love with your baby.
 Jensen: "damn YN she is a beauty. Now let's hear her purr."
 Jensen sticks your car in drive and slowly brings you both out of the parade. Once the speed sign showed that he could go 60 he stuck you baby in gear and took off. he knew to obey the rules of the road but he still had fun with it.
 Along the way your Playlist silently played in the background as you and Jensen played 20 questions. The more you both talked and the questions answered the more you both felt like you could actually pull this off, but of course you weren't gonna say anything. 
Jensen: "this neighborhood is beautiful. How much further to your place?" 
YN: "3 more blocks then it will be number 344 on your left."
 Jensen slowly drove down the blocks he smiled to himself the thought that he was married and to a woman who makes the most amazing sunglasses. His hand remained in the wheel and the shifter but your hand floated to rest in his hand.
 Arriving at your house in a matter of moments you noticed another car in the driveway that was not familiar to you. 
YN: "that car doesnt belong to me.. someone unexpected is here."
Jensen: "relax YN lets grab the bags and walk to the door im sure its nothing to worry about."
Grabbing the bags you both went up to the front door, you saw it was open a crack… You both slowly walked inside.
 YN: "hello, whoever is in here this house is owned…" 
Steps came from the basement and down the kitchen floor standing now in the doorway to your kitchen was your mom.
 Sheila: "surprise!" 
You dropped your bags and ran into the embrace of the person who had sat there with you while you cried about your loveless life. 
Yn: "I thought you weren't coming for a few weeks." 
Sheila: "yes well when we last spoke you said you wanted to do some renovations on the house. But that you were gonna do that on your own after you got back from your trip. So i decided that i would be here when you got back to surprise you… dad thought you could use the help and if he wasnt busy running the store back home he would be here too…"
You and your mom oulled back when Jensen cleared his throat clearly wanting to get your attention. You pulldd back from your mom and went back to jensen. Who now extended his hand towards your mom.
 Jensen: "ma'am my name is Jensen i am your daughters husband well kinda we…"
Yn: "twas a drunken wedding in vegas and one thing led to a really amazing vacation plus he is a loyal customer for my sunglasses. So i brought him home so we could see if we want to remain married or divorce. I gues thats my surprise as well… im really glad your here mom."
Sheila shoke jensens hand and then smiled as she heard a timer go off. 
Sheila: "go on take your stuff to your room dears. ill do it all for you both not to worry. Now go upstairs and make sure only your laundry comes down to the laundry room.. lunch will be ready soon!"
You and jensen with your bags go upstairs to your room. Your king bed and furniture exactly how you left it. 
Jensen: "renovations huh?"
Yn: "ya some painting and replacing carpet with laminate type thing. Paint every room in this house a different color depending on what the room is. Laminate to match each room. Im ambitious. Also restain the deck leading to the pool in the back. The pool cleaner and the lawn tendants should have been by and if not yet they will be by later. Running my own company comes with perks. Sorry im ramblin."
Jensen: "its alright i think its kinda cute. Now when do we get started on these renovations?"
You smile as you  go to grab your laundry basket for yours and jensens clothes.
YN: "soon as i go pick up the paint i picked out what colors i wanted for each room before i left but now that im back i can get them and start painting and shifting stuff around and and and."
You now put your hands on the bed as you just stood there. 
You were way passed overwhelmed, this made way for Jensen who had just finished getting settled in throwing his dirty clothes in the basket before coming up behind you wraping his arms around you like it was normal. 
Jensen: “dont get worked up as part of seeing all we can be ill help you renovate the house. Tomorrow we will pick up the paint and whatever else we think we will need and we will be fine. For now lets get this laundry pile put together and taken down to your mom. Then you can show me kinda what needs to be moved and where it needs to be moved to for each room to be set up so it can be painted and then we will get the floors done once everything is painted. Room by room. This house will be prestige when we are done. It will reflect the woman you are. And i look forward to renovating this home with you.”
You smiled. As you threw several more things into the basket, then you came across the wedding attire that you both realized might need to be dry cleaned instead. 
You put them off to the side and decided that you would hand them to your assistant the next time you would see her. You were not okay still, you had a lurking strange feeling in your stomach that something was terribly wrong. 
Jensen was hot, sure neither of you rememebred anything except for what you all were told by the staff. You were now sure that something was wrong. It was something in Jensen’s eyes and nature that made your mind question what was happening right then.
 But you ignored it, you felt happier than you had in ages. 
YN: “ya i guess your right. Now lets go down to mom before she decides to think degenerates of us.”
Jensen: “technically we are married degenerates. But your right as well. Lets go.”
Jensen carried the basket following you as you both walked back downstairs. You showed him where to place the laundry basket then both of you went into the living room. 
Your eyes floated to the table to the stack of coupons and various packages and other mail items on the coffee table in the living room. 
Jensen: “damn girl are you always that popular?”
YN: “yep every day… but this is from the passed month excluding todays cause it doesnt come for another hour. This will be fun. Would you like to help me open this massive pile of whatever is in here?”
Jensen: “do you have a letter opener?”
You go over to the kitchen to your junk drawer and come back with your personalized black canary letter opener… you handed it to Jensen who marveled it for a few moments before kneeling down beside you as you proceeded to organize the mail into piles.
 Jensen: “i hope one day soon to be moved in here permenantly with you. Honestly i feel so happy and we are probably gonna be expecting before we know it with how much we did not leave the bed during our time in Vegas…”
You smiled at that thought. You a mother how much of a quaint little idea that was. Damn your babies would be lookers. Jensen started with the parcels he opened them one at a time then you would go into the parcel and pull out whatever was inside.
Jensen: “i know you are thinking, you make this face when your focused or thinking i noticed it first when you were answering your emails and such while we were in vegas. Are you okay?”
YN: “hmm… yeah im okay just doing some planning in my head. Usually how i open my mail. Im sorry ive been so quiet.”
Jensen put his arm around your shoulder before you had finished speaking.
Jensen: “its all good i know you have alot on your plate. Just dont be afraid to talk to me if you ever want to.”
YN: "thank you. Now let's finish going through the mail and then I need to conference call with my assistant to make sure our week is on track."
Jensen smiled he could not believe that you were the one who made such amazing sun glasses! They were literally his favorite pair. You were the embodiment of grace and beauty,  from Jensen's point of view you were an angel.You spent the rest of the day showing jensen how your life works. 
Your mom ordered chinese for dinner with extra for left overs for the next few days. That was fine. Renovations went amazing! The next month was about getting settled in, sure the renos took longer but that was perfectly fine.
 A room a week, the flooring would be done later.. once everything was painted. Jensen and you sat in on a few confrence calls from the house during the renos and then you decided to show jensen the company and how it works make him your temp secretary while you gave your current one the month off.
 You woke up however one morning feeling off. You went to the bathroom and went through your morning work routine, shower, do your hair, make out with jensen. But this one morning you felt all bloated and gross.
 You got into the shower and thats when it happened you got that nauseous feeling. The words "oh shit" went through your head as just as you knelt down beneath the waters flow you threw up instantly.
 It was 5 minutes later that you were finally able to speak enough.
YN: "jensen…"
Footsteps were heard, jensen knew your routine, this was unusual. He came into the bathroom and opened the shower curtain to reveal you knelt down and a small pile of slowly washing awake puke. He shut off the shower head but kept the water flowing.
 Jensen: "what happened?"
YN: "i was feeling off, but i didnt think i would vomit, can you call xavier and tell him that he has to handle everything today im not going in."
Jensen: "let me get you out of there after i help you clean all the vomit off and wash your hair, then ill clean the bathtub and then ill spend the entire day waiting on my girl!"
This was the first time that Jensen had used a pet name for you or referred to you as something other than YN. This was a good sign meant he was getting used to the idea but so were you for you were putty in Jensen's arms not cause of the nausea but cause of how he made you feel. 
You watched as he cleaned the bathtub, wiped up the water off the ground, sprayed febreeze in the bathroom. You were not okay but you felt something new. 
Another month would pass before this would ever occur again. Sure enough it did this time at work. Jensen against your pleading took you to the hospital. You were pleading that you were okay and didn't need it but you kept being shot down.
 The doctors took blood work, had you peee in a cup, hooked you to a iv drip. They were doing everything they could think of. Till the doctor came in the room with a nurse with an ultrasound machine.
 Doctor: "we are just gonna make sure everything is good with your abdomen. Don't worry bout a thing. It's painless. I'm just gonna unzip your jeans a bit and then lift your shirt a bit so I can put the jelly on."
 You and Jensen complied never expecting this as a possible outcome. Never suspecting that this would be the moment you would be within the grasp of several doctors all of whom have looked after you since you were a child. 
Doc: "ok lets see what this shows. And if anything else i would like to run dna matches on both of you. Just a precautionary measure. Nothing to… oh well this is definately the source… tell me YN when was your last period?"
You had to think about that cause you last had it during the vegas trip. Good thing showers exist… but anyway you were sure you knew the answer but you complied anyway.
YN: "I think it was during my Vegas trip but doc please tell me what is going on…"
Doctor turns the monitor to face you and Jensen whose face along with yours goes pale white. 
Doctor: "congratulations your pregnant! But I want to run a blood sample on both of you to find out why there was an abnormality in your blood work."
Jensen and you get blood drawn while the fact that you were expecting a child while not even sure yet if your marriage would last. 
Jensen: "what abnormality could be in your blood work?" 
YN: "that's what you choose to discuss, not the fact that we are pregnant?" 
Jensen: "I'm shocked probably as much as you but right now I want to address that I am thrilled about this baby. Even if we haven't figured us out we are parents to a brand new life we created in this short period together. I could not think of a better way to spend the rest of my life than with you and this child."
That of course is when the doctor returned. 
Doctor: "so you both are the correct parents of this child but the abnormality in both your blood works showed several similar strands of DNA. You are siblings more specifically twins."
This made Jensen and you drop your Jaws, neither of you were expecting the news about the baby, but now finding out your siblings well that made you both shocked as fuck.
Doctor: "judging the reactions crossing both your features I am gonna gather that you both knew not of this."
Jensen: "are we done here can we go home now?"
 Doctor: "of course just be sure to come back in 4 months for another check up for the baby. And congratulations as well as I'm sorry."
 The doctor left, you and Jensen took all the stuff, now in the car with the papers of both results had to now find a way to break both news to your mother. Never thinking that anyone else would be at the house when your arrival home came round. 
You pulled into the driveway, both of you holding the file with both sets of results. Walked inside to see not only your mom but your best friend and your father as well, your best friend ran straight for you as you did her, then you let her go and was immediately embraced by your father.
 YN: "can everyone sit down and jensen will grab you all something strong to drink while we tell you something we just found out."
Jensen goes and pours some drinks for your father, mother and best friend as you both sit in front of them and begin the confrontation of a lifetime.Jensen: "for those who don't know me that I am meeting for the first time I'm Jensen YN is my wife. YN got a little sick at work so we just got back from the hospital. We found out 2 things while there."
Yn: "mom dad was there another child that you guys had along side me… Like am I a twin?" 
Sheila: "yes you are, I am ashamed that you are just finding this out now. I never thought you would. We had to make a choice when you and your brother were born money was a luxury we didn't have a lot of. We could only afford to keep one of you so we made sure your brother got adopted into a good family who would give him the life he deserved. We kept you cause we always wanted a girl. Why do you ask?"
You pull out the DNA match results between you and Jensen and hand it to your parents. They look at the paper and immediately look at Jensen they begin to shed tears of joy toasting to Jensen the prodigal son!
 But you both still had to tell them the other news. You were gonna let Jensen take this one cause you were still shocked to say the other set of news…
 Frank: "what's your other set of news? Also what happens to your marriage now with this news as I assume you both have done the deed together…?"
 Jensen: "dad, mom cause we did the deed and this entire marriage thing, consequences flurished before we found out about us being twins. We have to say we are still in shock but we are willing to make things work if you guys agree to help us…"
Jensen hands them the second set of results. You feel your hand drop to your belly Jensen's on top of yous as they look at those results. Your best friend doesn't look at the results cause she could tell from the moment she saw you.. 
Talia: "I'm gonna be an aunt yippee!!!" 
Sheila: "Talia can you please give us a few moments to speak with our children alone."
Talia: "of course."
 Talia leaves the room not straying too far so she can hear everything.
 Sheila: "Jensen we are so happy you have found your way back into our lives. We hope you come to accept us as your parents and not as those that gave you up…" 
Frank: "we understand the lure that you both had to eachother I mean you both look like supermodels good looks and all. Though we don't entirely approve of the way you came back into our lives son. We are proud of the strong people you both have become. YN my daughter we are honored to be your parents and now the grandparents to this grand baby that will grace this world soon!"
Sheila: "we are a family again!"
Jensen and you hug it out with your parents as you leave their embrace to go and sit on the steps with your best friend.
 Talia: "so you married your long lost twin brother?"
 YN: "drunk married my long lost twin yes but in our defense we were plastered. Neither of us were thinking straight and we didn't know we were siblings."
Talia: "how long till I get to meet my niece or nephew?" 
YN: "7 months but in my defense neither me nor Jensen nor anyone else  get to find out the gender for another 4 months. But how would closer to the due date you like to become a hired live in nanny type person just to help out around here once the baby is born what do you say sis?"
Talia just hugs you both of you just sitting there perfect harmony while Jensen is with your parents in the living room filling them in on his upbringing and stuff like that. 
You were sitting there with your best friend reminiscing on a time when things were simpler..You both were called back into the room at that moment. Re-entering the room you go to stand beside your husband/twin brother.
Frank: “after so long we are a whole family again. Now our family is expanding and we are so grateful to have the opportunity to be with you all. Jensen, YN though the circumstances under which you met were not ideal, you both are not shunned, not disregarded in any way shape or form. You both did right in the eyes of god and the church. It is only fit that we offer to help you both in any way we possibly can with the preparations for the arrival of the baby. To Yn and Jensen may the odds be ever in your favor…”
This was now the time when you regretted showing your father the hunger games! But the toasts flew in and chinese was ordered, everyone except you drank. What happened after that is you and your twin brother husband person thing lived happily ever after.
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calpalirwin · 5 years ago
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Super Dork
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Summary: With great power comes great responsibility. And trauma. No bad guy Spidey-Ash ever fought could compare to the demons in his own head.
A/N: I got yelled at for more again. Which is fine cuz I fuckin love this AU.
Content: Big sad. Fluff landing.
Word Count: 1.5k
And away, and away we go!
__
Part 3
“You got any clothes in this bag of yours you can change into? I can wash your suit for you,” she offered, nudging his backpack with her foot.
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. You already did so much. I sh- I’m just gonna g-“ his voice broke off and his face scrunched up in pain as he leaned forward to pull himself up off the couch.
“You are staying for overnight monitoring,” she said, helping him lie back into the cushions. “Doctor’s orders.” She picked up his bag and started to rummage through his belongings. “Sweats, good. C’mon, let me help you get changed and in bed.”
“I’m fine on the couch,” he said, lifting his hips to tug off the bottoms of his suit, revealing- unsurprisingly so- more bruising. “You don’t have to give up your bed for me,” he added as he eased his way into the sweatpants.
“Don’t flatter yourself, Ash. I’m not sleeping on my couch for you.”
“So both of us are going to sleep in your bed? Together?”
“Not like we haven’t done it before.”
“If I recall correctly, we didn’t exactly do a whole lot of sleeping, sweetheart.”
“Oh, the charm’s back. How nice…” She rolled her eyes sarcastically as she gathered up his suit. “There special instructions on how to wash this, or…?”
“Yeah. You can’t.”
“I can’t?”
“Self-cleaning technology. To- he developed it with the help of Wakanda technology for me.”
“That old suit was rather smelly,” she commented, not wanting to press the issue of how he had gotten his new fancy suit.
“Try living in it,” he chuckled with only a small trace of humor as his mind took him to a dark place against his will.
“Hey, come back to me, Ash,” she coaxed softly, resting her hand on his bicep, her voice fighting to reach him through the fog that was welcoming him.
“Can we go to bed now?” he asked in a voice that reminded her of the boy he used to be, shy and uncertain. A far cry from the confident charm possessed by the man he had grown to be.
~~~
“Hey, Ash, I’m gonna need you to hold this building for me, kid!” Tony’s voice sounded in his earpiece. It was calm amidst the chaos raining down around them. A skill that Ashton had yet to learn from his mentor. “I’m sending you my location. Stay low. Get people to safety. Do not engage, do you understand, me?”
“Roger,” he replied, eyes darting around for her. She was here. He could sense it. And he couldn’t leave if he knew she was in danger. And Tony had told him to get people to safety. And she was people. So he wasn’t technically defying orders…
“Yeah, kid?” Steve’s voice was in his ear now. Breathless with exertion, but steadily calm. If they could remain calm, so could he. Time to prove he was more than neighborhood friendly.
“Not you, sir,” Ashton responded, allowing a small chuckle.
“Copy that.”
Ashton chuckled quietly again to himself as he finally found her. “What are you still doing here? Run! Get out of here! Get to shelter!”
“Come with me!” she begged. “Let them fight this!”
“I have to help them! I have orders!”
“Now’s not the time to play hero, Ashton! You’re no good to anybody dead!”
“And I’m no good to anybody standing here arguing with you when I have a job to do! Get to safety! Don’t make me tell you again!”
“Ash!” she continued to beg. “Don’t leave me! Come with me, please!”
“You need to get out of here!” he screamed at her.
“No! I’m not leaving you!”
“Get out!”
“No!”
“I can’t save you from this!”
“I don’t need you to save me!”
He shot his web, flinging her out of harm’s way, cutting her cries out of his mind.
~~~
His legs kicked at the blankets in his sleep as the dream held him captive. “No…” he called out weakly, his body twisting.
~~~
“That way!” he directed. “Keep running that way and don’t look back! There’s shelter ahead! Keep going!” He tried to keep his voice upbeat, friendly, as he raised it so it carried out among the stampede of people running past him.
“Building’s evacuated and secured, Mr. Stark,” he reported into his earpiece.
“Keep clearing out the city. We got to get all these people out.”
He swallowed the surge of anger. Throwing a fit because he didn't like his assignment wasn’t going to prove he wasn’t the same kid he was when he had first gotten his powers. He didn’t have time to be angry for long as all his senses rang loudly like a fire alarm pounding in his head. A building three blocks away was about to come down with people still inside.
He let his senses take control of his body, taking it to where it was needed.
He quickly took in the scene and set to work. He prayed the webbing would hold as he did his best to secure it to the buildings around it. The muscles in his arms screamed in protest as he gritted his teeth and planted his feet. “Tony! This building’s coming down!”
“Is everyone out?”
“There’s a family still inside. 4th floor, 7th window. Tony, I can’t hold this building and get them out at the same time… there’s still people below. Why are there still people?! You gotta get out of here!”
“Hold the building, I’m on my way.”
Ashton heard the soft ping of a tendril of webbing breaking off. “No. No, no, no…” he whispered, his voice climbing high as he frantically shot out more webs for more grip. “Hey, Cap? Your shield strong enough to prop up a building?” Ashton joked as he fought against the panic threatening to seize him.
“You’ve been spending too much time with Stark, kid,” Steve chuckled. “Hang in there. He’s on his way.”
“On your left, Grandpa,” Tony said and Ashton looked up to see the red blur.
“Howard was older than me, Tony…”
The tendrils continued to snap, almost faster than Ashton could fling them. “Tony, my webbing’s not holding. I don- Tony, what do I do?”
“Hey, kid?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m about to ask you to do something and I just need you to do it, okay?”
“Okay.”
“The building’s structurally damaged. It’s coming down and there’s no stopping it. I’m going to do my best to get these people out that are still trapped. But I need you to let go and get somewhere safe. Can you do that?”
“Tony, no! I can hold it until you get the people out!”
“Let go, kid. Your job’s done. Clock out. Go home.”
“NO!” Ashton screamed as the building started to fall, his webbing breaking in a series of rapid snaps.
~~~
“TONY!” The cry tore out of Ashton’s throat as his eyes flew open, panic and terror in his chest. He fought for each breath as his senses grounded him. He was safe. In bed. Alive. Tears spilled a path down his cheeks as his shoulders heaved with the sobs breaking free.
“Hey,” a voice called out in the darkness and a soft hand was on his arm. “Shh, it’s okay. It was only a dream.”
“No, it wasn’t…” was the broken whisper. “I was supposed to secure the buildings and get everyone to safety. It was a simple fuckin’ assignment and I couldn’t even do that, right… If I had been faster, I could have saved them. Your parents. Him. Everyone.”
“My parents were already dead on the other side of town. You and that building had nothing to do with their deaths. As for Tony? He was a genius, Ash. He knew he wasn’t getting out of that building unscathed.”
“I should have tried harder! Been better…”
“You did everything you could. You made all the right calls. Ash, it was an accident. An accident that you were part of, sure. But it had nothing to do with you.”
“People died because of me!”
“People died because of Loki’s army. People lived because of you. I lived because of you.”
Her admission lifted some of the weight pressing down on him. He could live through the villain smackdowns. He could live through the loss of life. It wasn’t easy, but he could do it. But the loss of her? Well, let’s just say that if it came down to her or his powers, he would choose her and never think twice. “Of all the things I’ve lost, you’re the one thing I can’t bear to lose,” he told her, reaching out to grab her hand in his, letting the memories of all the times he had done this before flood out the rest of the weight.
“Then maybe you should stop letting me go,” she replied, squeezing his fingers with hers.
“I’m never letting you go again,” he promised, lifting up their hands to brush his lips against her knuckles.
__
Tag List
@goeatsomelife @flameraine @cashtonasff5sos @here-for-the-uproars @cxddlyash @1-irwin-94 @baldcalum @sparkling-chaos @tea4sykes @youngblood199456 @5-seconds-of-obsession @gosh-im-short @aquarius-hood1996 @talkfastromance4 @itjustkindahappenedreally @philthepegacorn @kikixfandoms
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the--blackdahlia · 5 years ago
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Royals Chapter 4 (Tommy x Nikki)
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Title: Royals Chapter 4
Summary:  Tommy’s hiding a secret from the rest of the band. He hoped it would never come out, but somehow, it did.
Warnings: Maybe just some language for this chapter
AN: Thank you guys for all the feedback! 
Several Months Later
Tommy was fast asleep in the bed beside Nikki, wrapped up in a blanket he had brought from home. He had left a lot of things at his dad’s place, a bag of clothes, his drums, and some other odd and end things. David had been a little upset at Tommy’s sudden urge to move out, and as Tommy had left, his dad told him that he would have to tell his mom at some point.
But that was a problem for a future Tommy. Right now, he was happy just laying in bed next to his incredibly hot boyfriend, with their band becoming more popular each day. Nothing could screw this up.
They had kicked their first manager to the curb, but no matter what, he told everyone that he left them, not the other way around. They were hoping that a record deal was in the works, but for now, they just kept playing the scene. They constantly sold out shows on the strip, as well as other venues around Southern California. Things were looking up for Motley Crue. It all had been since Mick suggested the name during a band meeting.
Tommy started to wake up stretching some. He felt arms wrap around him and Nikki pressing up against him, placing sloppy kisses on his neck.
“Babe,” Nikki whispered in his ear.
“Morning Nikki,” Tommy yawned. Nikki kissed down to his shoulder and held him close to him.
“Think we should do something…” Nikki chuckled a little. Tommy smiled, but he had something he needed to tell him first.
“Babe, I gotta tell you something,” Tommy told him. Nikki was about to respond when he heard a loud yell followed by something knocking over cymbals from Tommy’s drum set.
“What the fuck?” Nikki asked, throwing off the blanket and getting out of bed, whatever Tommy was going to tell him far from his mind. Nikki grabbed his sweats and pulled them on. Tommy followed with a pair of basketball shorts. They headed out into the living room to see Vince picking up the cymbal.
“What are you doing?” Tommy asked. Vince just looked at them with a crazy smile on his face. He lived in the smaller room on the other side of the apartment, but many times slept on the couch when he was too lazy to go back to his room. Tommy was sure he was still tripping on something.
“You guys are not going to believe it!” Vince told them. “Sorry T, got a little excited and knocked over the cymbals. But they look fine.”
“What are we not gonna believe?” Nikki asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Can’t tell you until Mick gets here,” Vince told him. “I called him a few minutes ago. He was already up so he should be here soon.” Tommy headed to the kitchen to get a drink of water and look through the mail stack. Overdue bills, junk mail, flyers. Tommy was about to toss it all in the trash when an envelope caught his attention. Addressed to Mr. Thomas Lee Bass-Papadimitriou. That made his heart stop.
“Oh no,” Tommy whispered to himself as he opened the envelope and unfolded the letter inside.
Dearest Thomas,
Your sister informs me that you have moved from your father’s home. I really wish that you would’ve let me know of your change of address. I will be coming to the United States soon and wish to have dinner with you and Athena. I have missed you terribly and looking forward to seeing you. We have some things that we need to discuss.
Until then,
Lots of love
Mom
“Tommy? Watchya got there?” Vince’s voice made Tommy jump. He quickly tore up the letter and dropped it into the trash.
“Junk for whoever rented this place before us,” Tommy told them with a shrug before tearing the envelope up as well. Nikki got a clean looking glass and filled up with some water. He gave Tommy a smirk as he watched him.
“You know, we have to finish something later,” Nikki told him, his eyes dark. Tommy opened his mouth to speak when Mick came strolling in.
“Okay, okay, what’s up?” Mick asked, heading to the couch to sit down.
“I’d like to know that myself,” Nikki and Tommy headed towards Vince and Mick. Vince had that big smile on his face again.
“Okay, sit down,” He told them. Tommy sat on the couch by Mick and Nikki perched himself on the arm. Vince went to the answering machine and pressed play.
“Hey there. My name is Tom Zutaut. I’m a record executive at Elektra Records. I was told this is the number for the band Motley Crue. If you could give me a call back at…”
No one bothered to listen to the rest of the message. They were all jumping up in excitement.
“Is this real?” Nikki asked. “Someone please tell me this isn’t a joke…”
“That’s a fake-sounding name,” Mick pointed out. “But who am I to judge. I changed my name to Mick Mars.”
“We should call him back, right?” Tommy asked, the letter and what he was going to tell Nikki completely leaving his mind.
“Well, yeah!” Vince handed Nikki the number. “You call him.”
“What? Why do I have to?”
“Because you’re the one that brought all us fuckers together,” Vince pointed out. “So you take the lead.” Nikki sighed but called the number. After a few minutes of talking and arranging a meeting between the band and the producer, Nikki hung up.
“Guys,” Nikki gave them all a smile. “I think we got ourselves a record deal.”
Forever Tags: @anathewierdo​ @dekahg​ @marvel-af-imagines​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @nanie5​ @imboredsueme​ @gemini0410​ @aiaranradnay​ @babypink224221​ @mogarukes​ @xxwarhawk​ @sandlee44​ @shatteredabby​ @caswinchester2000​ @supernaturalwincestsblog​ @lauravic​ @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk​ @teller258316​ @horrorpxnk​ @tommyleeownsme​ @marvelismylifffe​ @mrslogansixxpixx​
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snarkwriteswrasslin · 5 years ago
Text
FFT: you jump, i jump jack; pete dunne
Notes:
This came to my main asks via @vonschweetz​ and it got me thinking... What if I redid Barbie and Pete entirely. And made Barbie a brattier little Omega, more resistant. I still might want to do this, we shall see... It was an interesting take.
Summary:
Bratty omega meets stubborn as fuck alpha. let the games begin.
Pairing:
Pete Dunne x OFC, Barbie
Warnings:
Uhh... flirtation and banter, bratty omegas and stubborn alphas. It’s cute. Seriously. I might actually try doing something with this.
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Barbie looked from man to man, totally unimpressed. Folding her arms, she cleared her throat when they finally took a break from their whole territorial thing. “Will you two kindly knock it the fuck off? And get lost, your Alpha stink is probably what’s keeping my true Alpha from making himself known.”
“You don’t have an Alpha. You could have me, but you won’t stop being stubborn.”
“I’d clearly be better for you than that asshole. C’mon. Think about it. You and me, baby.”
“All you two idiots are doing is making me dryer than the Sahara desert. Fuck off.” Barbie practically spat the words at the two men and luckily, it was enough to send them away. This time.
… oh but those two twat waffles will be back. They always come back… if I could just hurry and figure out who back here is my true Alpha…
… but what if it’s somebody you don’t want to be mated to?…
… anyone has to be better than Oney Lorcan and fucking Matt Cross… anyone…
Almost as if she’d summoned it, the scent was back again and it was… So heavy. It dominated the air and Barbie breathed in deep. Fanning herself, she leaned back against the brick wall and let her eyes flit around the room, careful to not settle on any particular member of the roster.
It couldn’t be Tyler Bate or Trent Seven.
She knew it wasn’t any of the Undisputed Era, she’d gotten close enough to each man earlier in the week to realize that they were not only not the scent she’d been trying to find, but their scents all actually repulsed her.
None of them had that unique combination of Big Red chewing gum and freshly upturned earth like this scent. And while normally, the scent of dirt did literally nothing for her, in this case it was… Like the most erotic thing she’d ever smelled in her life.
It wasn’t Johnny Gargano, either.
So far, no one she’d tried to get close to matched this particular scent.
Distractedly, Barbie stepped away from the wall and gave in to the urge to follow her nose. As she started to walk down the hall, the scent got heavier and heavier, beckoning her. Turning a corner and entering catering, she managed to collide with Pete Dunne around the same time that the scent suddenly intensified. Pete gripped her arms, a gruff swear coming as he said something to her about watching where she walked, only to trail off in mid sentence.
“It’s you.”
They both said it at the same time, but Dakota called out to her and she bit her lip, staring up at her true Alpha a few seconds, trying to get a read on how the current situation affected him.
She couldn’t. He masked his thoughts on the matter heavily.
Barbie’s face fell and she turned abruptly, hurrying over to Dakota and one or two of the other girls.
Pete blinked and turned to scowl at Tyler, who’d just come up behind him and shoved him playfully. “What was ‘at about, Dunney?”
“I found ‘er.”
“And yer not over there with ‘er why? Who was it?”
“The blonde talkin t’ Dakota and the other girls. Th’ one with curly hair.”
Tyler followed his friends gaze and he gave a low and appreciative whistle as he muttered quietly, “Y’ lucky fuckin bastard. Well don’t let me stop y’. Go on, go to ‘er.”
Pete raised a brow and rolled his eyes, shaking his head.
“Yer an idiot, Dunney.”
“Don’t think she was too happy with th’ realization I’m ‘er Alpha.”
“Or maybe, she took one look at yer grouchy mug and retreated because she thought she pissed y’ off. I mean if y’ gave ‘er the look y’ gave me just now, Dunney…” Tyler pointed out as helpfully as possible, but when Pete shook his head no, Tyler grumbled and shook his head.
“Well, I found him.”
“Seriously? Who? I need to know.”
“It’s Pete Dunne. But I don’t… I really don’t think he was thrilled when he realized what was happening… So.. That’s that.”
“What the hell do you mean that’s that? Pete’s always a grouch, that’s just who he is.”
“This was different. He looked annoyed. Maybe I should just give in to one of the other unmated douchebags who keep offering…” Barbie knew deep down that even as she said it, she’d never go through with it, because when she’d realized it was Pete… Something just clicked for her.
She sighed and shook her head, shoving it all out of her mind for the time being. “C’mon.. Someone in here is staring and it’s kinda creeping me out.” Barbie grabbed hold of Dakota’s arm, practically dragging her out of catering.
She collided with Roderick Strong in the hallway. Swallowing hard, she stared up at him, mumbling an apology. Roderick flashed her a grin and leaned against the doorway, pinning her in. “No need to apologize, darlin. You alright?”
“I’m fine, just.. In a hurry.” Barbie nodded to the doorway he was currently blocking and he chuckled, moving to the side. He caught hold of her wrist and held her there a few seconds the second he saw Pete Dunne staring at her from the doorway of catering.
“If any of these idiots mess with ya, Blondie.. Come find Roddy, alright?”
Barbie pried her wrist loose and gave him a thumbs up before rushing off.
Pete’s fists clenched and Tyler muttered to himself with an amused laugh, “And ‘ere we go.” before quickly grabbing hold of his best friend and starting the process of talking him down from whatever ‘punishment’ Pete was currently doling out to Strong in his head.
Pete growled and took a deep breath.
“What y’ need t’ do, Dunney, is go to ‘er and tell ‘er that whatever she thinks isn’t th’ truth.”
“What I need t’ do, Bate, is go down t’ the ring and call ‘im out. Maybe if I make an example out ‘f him, none of the others will even think about tryin it.”
“And when y’ scare th’ living hell out of ‘er Dunney… what then? Just wait til the next time y’ see Strong lurking around, go over and intervene. That proves yer point without anybody bein afraid or havin t’ die.” Tyler eyed his best friend as he said it.
For once, Pete seemed to agree. Tyler let out a breath and then, they made their way down to the ring for the match they had.
– ( LE TIME SKIPPE )
“Clearly, me staying at the hotel while everyone else went out was a stupid idea. I’m so freaking bored!” Barbie was pacing her hotel room, fingers tangled in blonde curls as she tried to keep the worst part of her heat starting at bay.
She eyed the door and then her phone and remembering the annoyed look on Pete’s face earlier, she swore and grabbed the phone, firing off a text.
→ Hey, I’m gonna meet you guys after all.
→ No sense in me locking myself away and saving myself for an Alpha who clearly couldn’t want me less if he tried.
→ It’s that club near the beach, right?
Without waiting on a response, she showered and got out, putting on makeup and digging through her closet. When she saw the skintight little red dress that one of her friends got her as a ‘joke’ she bit her lip and hesitated. She almost passed it over in favor of something casual, her favorite jeans and crop top, but then she thought about it.
She knew who her true Alpha was now. And given that he didn’t seem like he’d be beating down her door anytime soon, was there really any sense in waiting or getting her hopes up?
She tore the tag off the dress and took it into the bathroom, changing into it. Before she could talk herself out of going out and having a fun night, she walked down the stairs and through the lobby.
Just as she went to reach for the handle on the door out of the lobby, Pete stepped in.
“Where th’ hell are y’ going?” Pete blurted it out before he could stop himself from doing so, earning him snickering from both Tyler and Trent.
“Out.”
“Out where?”
“Out. I’m supposed to be meeting someone. Can you kindly remove yourself, sir?” Barbie gazed up at Pete, tapping a stiletto against the floor impatiently.
“Not like ‘at.”
Barbie glanced down at her dress.. Before she could stop herself, she was glancing back up at him with a smirk. “Oh? And you’re gonna stop me how, sir?”
“My name is Pete. Not sir.” Pete was moving closer, Barbie was… beyond well aware of the difference in their height. She swallowed hard and fought to reign herself in because if she didn’t…
It wasn’t going to be pretty.
Self composure was harder than she’d always thought it’d be when she finally found her true Alpha.
She felt her thighs clench.
Pete was eyeing her up, almost as if he were in disbelief that she’d talk back to him.
The thought made her smirk a little, giggling quietly. She cleared her throat. “I’m running late. Either you’re going to do something about what I’m wearing, Alpha, or you’re going to move out of my fucking way.” she said it in her politest tone of voice. Pete edged closer, a hand hesitating before settling on her hip.
He stared her down intently.
Tyler and Trent cleared their throats, exchanging looks and Barbie raised her hand, resting it palm down against the front of Pete’s hoodie, staring at the door they currently blocked intently.
“It looks like I’m gonna have to be the one who walks away.” Barbie said it as she tried to side step Pete.
Pete stood there, watching her walk out of the lobby, his hand in his hair.
“ ‘at went well, Dunney.” Trent broke the silence. Pete’s response was to shove his gear bag at Trent and start to storm out the door. Trent and Tyler shared a look and grumbled. Tyler found a room service attendant and put the bags onto a trolly to be taken up and he caught up to Trent in the parking lot just in time to watch everything as it happened.
Pete caught up to her and tapped her shoulder. Barbie came to a stop and turned, staring up at him with a look of curious amusement in her eyes. “You? I thought we settled this in the lobby, sir.”
“It’s Pete. And we didn’t.” Pete’s tone was firm but quiet. She was migrating closer.. A quick scenting revealed everything and he groaned inwardly as soon as he realized that Tyler had been right back at the arena.
She’d gotten the wrong idea. She had no idea just how blown away he’d been to find out that the vanilla scent he’d been chasing for a while now was her.
Or that he’d noticed her around the time he started to smell mentioned scent and he’d been… attracted, to say the least.
His eyes darted down to the red dress and he cleared his throat. “ Maybe y’ thought I was makin a suggestion, but I was being serious, Omega.”
“My name is Barbie.”
“Barbie.” Pete repeated her name, still gazing down at her intently. Barbie tapped her feet impatiently again, her tongue gliding over her lips to moisten them. Pete’s eyes darted up, settling on her mouth and the attention that the gesture bought to it. He shrugged off his hoodie and thrust it at her.
Barbie eyed the hoodie and then him and she gave a quiet giggle.
“I’m not bein’ funny.”
“No, but… Do you think when you say jump, Alpha… that I’m just gonna ask you how high?”
“Not at all. I’d say it goes both ways.”
“I’m not putting on that hoodie. And why does it matter anyway? What I wear, I mean..” Barbie was moving closer, despite her best efforts to refrain from doing so. Pete gave a satisfied smirk when he felt her body tuck into his. He chuckled and rubbed his chin, trying to think about a response.
Barbie’s phone lit up and started to ring.
“One second.” Barbie answered the phone and she was in the midst of telling Dakota the situation when Pete took the phone and informed Dakota that Barbie wasn’t going to make it.
After ending the call, he held her phone out to her.
“Y’ weren’t in any shape t’ go out alone tonight anyway.”
“Who are you, my father?”
“No, but I am yer Alpha. We both know it.”
Barbie scoffed. “Now you want to claim it.”
“Wanted to earlier. Someone didn’t really give me much time t’ react.”
“The annoyed look on your face was reaction enough.” Barbie stepped away, turning and preparing herself to walk away. She’d never been the kind of girl to just fall in line, follow a rule or an order.
She would’ve kept walking too if Pete hadn’t called out calmly, “ Y’ can keep fighting it.. But y’ know what y’ really feel. I can smell it in yer scent. Fightin is only gonna make it worse on y’.”
“I’m not fighting anything, pal. If you want me, come and get me, Pete.”
Barbie started to slink away and for a split second, because no one was around to see him do it, a smile played on Pete’s lips as he took a deep breath to reign himself in and started to calmly walk after her.
She’d just stepped into the club and was waving at the girls when she felt him pressing into her from behind. “Okay, Barbie. I’ll play yer game. But know that when I play games, I play them t’ win.”
Barbie bit her lip to keep from whimpering and after a second, she managed to reply, “We’ll see, Pete. Think you can handle dancing with me or would that be too much?”
Pete turned her around, pulling her close.
“I don’t dance.”
“This works too..”
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if-weshadows-haveoffended · 4 years ago
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Love Is So Confusing There's No Peace of Mind - Caduceus Clay x Reader
A/N: Me, reading the tag, finishing the fics: guess I gotta add some more then.
I LOVE PINK COW MAN SO FUCKING MUCH AND I LOVE CONFUSED AND EMBARASSED COW MAN EVEN MORE. I JUST LOVE HIM. IF MATTHOLOMEW HURTS EVEN ONE STRAND OF PINK HAIR IM FUCKING RIOTING. Anyway in light of episode 95 I’m gonna make a part 2 to this, so this is pre ep95 somewhere idk. Also Taliesin mentioned in an episode of Talks that Caddy shack always has music playing in his mind (I think he went with Bolero? I imagine the mii channel theme), so I’m playing with that idea.
Title: Love Is So Confusing There's No Peace of Mind Words: 2500+ Masterpost: here (x) Prompt List: here (x) Mixtape Archive: here (x)
Caduceus had been in a considerable pickle since his little outing last night.
Their downtime in Zadash had been pretty uneventful save Jester asking him to accompany her to some bakery or another. With her considerable… addiction seemed the right word… to the baked goods, his days seemed to be spent accompanying her for box after box of iced treats. If he was being honest, he wasn’t entirely sure if this was at all healthy, but at the very least it gave him some opportunity to meet different citizens residing within the city. It was easy, he found, with the adventuring lifestyle to become surprisingly more isolated than during his time at the Blooming Grove. There were days where he wouldn’t even see half of the Nein until it was time for dinner. So he found himself relishing these sorts of occasions, more so now than when the group had been less than reputable.
It was towards the end of their first week in Zadash when Jester tore into the room he shared with Yasha, screaming about something or rather about the most beautiful bakery she had ever seen in all of Exandria.
“DUECES! THEY’RE SO PRETTY! YOU LIKE HAVE TO SEE THEM IT’LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! THEY’RE LIKE BOUQUETS OF FLOWERS BUT THEY’RE PASTRIES AND OH MY GOD WE’RE LEAVING RIGHT NOW!”
“Is this what you do all the time?” Was what he had eventually asked the surprisingly young owner of the bakery. He wasn’t sure how tall she was for a human, most humans (well everyone) seemed small to him. Jester truly had used all her strength to drag both himself and Nott towards the bakery (Jester had said it was technically a patisserie, not that he knew what that meant).
“Well, it’s a job and I love it?” She pushed back her hair and continued to wipe down the glass displays filled with a myriad of pastries and cakes. Each little dozen was different to the one beside it, and all of them were decorated with delicate buttercream-and in some cases, real- flowers.
“You’re clearly very talented with them,” Caduceus replied, thanking her as she handed him a flaky little pastry piled high with pale green cream and little blossoms. “Oh wow, that’s nice. No, really!”
The young woman had laughed, and he noted the colour about her cheeks. Their conversation had ended there as a number of customers had walked into the patisserie, Jester pulling him out the door and giving her customary farewell. He found himself the following day offering to buy the pastries on Jester’s behalf, solving her problem of being unsure of whether to buy pastries or ditch helping Fjord out with some shopping matters.
He never ended up returning home that afternoon. He’d simply gotten too carried away sitting at the patisserie, chatting with the delightful owner. He’d eventually caught her name (it was a very lovely name, it suited her) and she’d invited him to the pub later that day to hear her and her co-bakers perform as they usually did.
“Not sure how it started but eventually we decided it was a great way to have fun and get some extra pay. Childcare in Zadash isn’t cheap these days,”
“BLOODY SCALPERS!” An elven male baker had shouted while decorating the floral tarts.
“Anyway, you don’t have to come. But I’d really appreciate it if you did!”
And he went, nervously combing fingers through lichen-stained hair as he sat alone by the makeshift stage. His heart pounded in his chest, unsure quite why it felt like doing that. He had no reason to be nervous after all she was quite nice and he was only reciprocating the niceties she was showing him, and the last thing Jester would want was for him to get on the bad side of her “absolute-favourite- the-very-best-the-goddess-of-all-baked-goods-except-for-that-one-bakery-in-Nicodranas-that-does bear-claws” baker. (Or at least he thinks that was all the superlatives Jester mumbled out).
And Caduceus had thought, as he watched her give him a little wave as her band of bakers set up, that perhaps he was finally over these unnecessary jitters. Perhaps he’d be able to listen to her music and perhaps introduce her to the wonders of his little ‘death whistle’ as Caleb liked to call it. Or at least he had thought so until she opened her mouth and began to sing.
He was absolutely transfixed, half of him terrified and wanting to run away, the other never wanting to leave her side. All of time seemed to still and yet flow faster than he could have ever wanted, praying every second he could that he could remain in this moment forever. He found himself unable to form the words that would usually come, as they chatted over dinner following her performance, apologising as he stumbled and stuttered over words. And she would laugh with a shake of her head, kindly bumping her knee against his as they sat huddled up in the performers’ lounge at the back of the tavern. Their talk of every day adventures and his little gripes (gripes was the nicest words) of the Nein in the Xhorhaus, and of the beauty that drove her work.
“…And you see, they’re just such a difficult shade of pink to replicate. Like your hair, I suppose. It’s very pretty,” She had said as they walked home, her hair streaming about in the brisk night breeze. On instinct he found himself moving by her side, curling her under his arm and pressing her against the side of his body. She thanked him, smiling brightly at him, and he smiled back relishing in how perfectly she fit.
They’d fallen into companionable silence, walking their way back to The Leaky Tap. She quirked a brow when he’d mentioned that was where he was staying.
“Well, you’re certainly braver than I am. That dude gives me the creeps.” She made a vague gesture to sweat at the temples and he assumed she meant the Gentleman.
“He’s not so bad.” Caduceus replied with a laugh, his mind desperately searching for ways to stretch this moment out as long as he could. “You really do have such a beautiful voice,”
“No,”
“Really,” He drew closer, holding both her hands in his, “It puts songbirds to shame. I’d love to hear you more.”
“Well, you’re welcome any time Caduceus Clay.”
He froze at that point, feeling her tug him down to press a kiss to his cheek. With a wave she began to walk away, a skip in her step and hands buried into the pockets of her skirt. For how long he stood there, only the Wildmother knew, his face burning up and a sense of giddiness building up within him. All he knew was that he just stood there, staring at cobblestones like some sort of idiot. Part of him mused at how they sparkled just a little under the moonlight.
If Colton ever heard how he was thinking, he’d never hear the end of it.
He couldn’t even find the familiar comfort of sleep, tossing and turning and irritating Frumpkin who had curled into the space by his shoulders. Instead he lay there upon his bedroll awake, staring at the shadows that danced upon the ceiling. His ears twitched at the distant sound of murmurs and Jester’s hushed giggles, but the effort he’d usually use to eavesdrop was simply missing. No, his mind was filled with the feeling of her soft lips pressed against the fuzz of his skin and the way her eyes shone as she had looked at him. And he, cursing his curiosity, found himself lost in the mesmerising depths of her eyes.
And that was how he ended up here, sitting at the vacant bar (save the Nein), asking Jester for help.
At some point his mind began to turn blank, filling with the sounds of a busy hive of bees and the distant memory of music. Jester’s mouth seemed to move much slower than the stream of lively sounds that emanated from herself. He barely registered Nott making some sort of joke that Fjord half-laughed-half-reprimanded her for, attempting to somewhat come to his defence. Caduceus found that sweet- or at least he would if he knew what was happening. Even throwing a look of help at Yasha couldn’t save him from the rising heat in his face and ears as she smiled and said something that threw the group into even more of a chaotic round of laughter. But it was a small quip Jester had made that sent Beau sliding to the floor and Fjord choking for air as he grabbed his stomach. Caduceus did everything he possibly could to just curl in on himself and wish for the Wildmother to send some form of giant carnivorous plant. He was sure Fjord could agitate one enough to swallow him whole.
“What’s this about deflowering the firbolg?” Caleb wandered into the room where he and the others had been discussing his current predicament. Caduceus was unaware that he could get anymore embarrassed than he already was, his face buried into his hands and his tail flicking about erratically.
“Caduceus has a crush!” Jester sang, head sitting on her hands and trying to stifle her giggles.
“I don’t think it’s a straight crush Jessie, it sounds bit more complicated than that.” Fjord tried remedying, throwing him an apologetic look. Caduceus’ ear twitched as he noticed that Fjord was only half apologetic.
“No, Deucey is hopelessly and utterly in the throes of love!” Nott hushed Fjord with a slap to his arm, the latter dramatically complaining of how hurt he was. “Positively twitterpated.”
“Cad needs to fuck,” Beau explained to Caleb as he took the seat next to her, “But like… with feelings and serious monogamy and all that sort of crap.”
“Doesn’t the Wildmother have teachings on sexy times and all that? The Traveller probably does I mean he’s super cool and all that-”
“Well,” Caduceus cut off off Jester’s tangent, his voice louder than usual. He was unaware it could get this high or this loud. It was a terrible reminder of that time they had spent before King Dwendal, the urge to simply feed Ikithon and his rudeness to some deadly creature rearing itself in his mind again. “All… that… is part of nature and something that perpetuates her cycle and her creation. But I don’t think this is what she had in mind…”
“All sorts of animals have courtship rituals, ja?” Caleb not-so-helpfully bought up, Caduceus shot him a brief glare from between his fingers. “I suppose the most helpful question would be: what do you want from this?”
He slowly prised his forehead away from his hands, taking deep breaths and trying to calmly face the group.
What did he want from this?
“And asking the Wildmother is cheating!” Jester added hastily.
Well that removed that option.
He supposed he liked her voice. Music had always filled his mind, the Wildmother present in all the music of nature. Sometimes it felt like it took over. But her laughter, the way she sang, the way she smiled as she sang. Part of him knew that he would never be able to wash those beautiful sounds from his mind.
Jester had often talked about romances and her fairytales, and Beau of other women she’d slept with. Hells, he’d even witnessed Fjord sacrificing himself (not that he needed to) upon the Squall Eater just to appease Avantika. But he’d never considered any of those for himself. He’d always assumed that perhaps, if it ever happened and the Wildmother deemed it part of his destiny, she would send someone along he could perhaps get along with. Someone he could envision just spending hours in silence, understanding and enjoying company. Someone who perhaps understood other parts of him- ones that he very rarely even let his own family see. And she was beautiful, all encompassing and demanding every second of his attention, almost terrifying. But nature was beautiful in that sense as well.
And taking a quick glance up from his hands and a look around the table, the sickening, horrifying realisation that he’d said all this aloud sunk to the pit of his stomach.
“Well,” Caleb coughed into the purring cat in his arms, “That answers that.”
“Perhaps, perhaps oh my gosh Caduceus, what if this is that!” Jester suddenly piped up, grabbing ahold of his shirt and shaking him a little. “You have to see her now! Ohmygosh!”
He vaguely felt himself protesting, saying that perhaps she was misinterpreting things. But Nott only scoffed at him, licking the palm of her hands and trying to tame his hair down the way his mother once did. He felt both Fjord and Yasha heave him out of the seat, pushing him in the vague direction of the door and suggesting something or rather about casually asking- oh no Fjord was saying make a show of it- no, Caleb was suggesting being forthright but gently romantic. Caduceus heard himself somewhat protesting, Nott offering him a swig of liquor and almost succeeding in pouring some down his throat had Jester not shoved in next to him to hand him a bouquet of flowers.
Now where in Melora’s green earth did those appear from. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to know anymore.
But perhaps they were right. Perhaps, as Caleb supplied into his ear holdinga pearl to his forehead, that the small kiss was indicative that she also wished to get to know him better. Despite all his reservations, he found himself somehow trying to listen to every single fragment of conflicting advice Fjord and Beau were throwing at him. He even found himself listening to Nott practically shouting some carnal knowledge into his ear, Jester enthusiastically joining in as he practically tripped over Fjord’s feet. Fjord held him up, though he seemed to be finding it difficult to meet his gaze as the two continued relating all information they thought would help. Yasha, thankfully saving him, cleared her throat and levelled the two with a glare.
“You got this Cad! I believe in you!” Beau had slapped his shoulder hard enough for him to almost stumble out the Leaky Tap, “I’m so proud!” she wiped away a stray tear from the corner of her eye, resting her shoulder against Yasha who only nodded in agreement.
He took several steps out the door, fiddling with his earring and adjusting the bouquet in his hands. Caduceus noticed with a start that the delicate blossoms matched that impossibly sweet shade of pink she had mentioned. The ones that dusted her most favourite of baked creations and held pride of place at the centre of her display. He took one look back, noticing his friends all standing at the door, thumbs up and shooing him enthusiastically to go after her.
Well, there was no time like the present. He straightened his shoulders, and an unbidden grin forming upon his face, he headed in the direction of the bakery with a determined step.
“AND BRING ME BACK PASTRIES IF YOU TWO AREN’T LIKE YOU KNOW BANGING AND MAKING MINI FOLLOWERS FOR THE WILDMOTHER!”
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oleanderblume · 4 years ago
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Unrelated but OMYGOD. My clown series reached 1k reads on wattpad.
Which isn't super awesome because its only due to the sheer quantity of chapters I have but I need to rave and spoil it cause I'm super excited about what I'm planning and no one i care to tell gives a shit so I'm dumping it into the void that is tumblr.
So. Im writing a book series called Caring For Your Clown. Its about this trans kid named Oliver and he is sort of an asshole.
Well not sort of, he is an asshole. But a RELATABLE asshole.
The story sort of drops you in 6 months after the mysterious and tragic (and traumatic) death of his mother Marie, who was a scientist alongside her husband and Oliver's step father Jon at a lab that specializes in physics mainly.
They were working on a machine with an unstable particle that caused a..tear so to speak, in the fabric of dimensional space and she got torn into tiny little bits. :3
But apparently before this occurred, Marie was in contact with an alien race called clowns 🤡 (really they are interdimensional traveling amoebas that take the shape of humanoid clowns lol)
One of which pops up in Oliver's life completely unexpectedly for no foreseeable reason and her name is Dindet and she is absolutely precious.
Basically its a saga and each book ranges in about 30k to 50k words. The first book centers around Oliver learning about this weird alien houseguest and also the immediate fallout of the death of his mom because surprise surprise! His biological dad who is a terrible abusive fucktard rolls back into his life with the intent to take custody of Oliver and that is no good!
The entire arch Oliver's goes through is literally the title of the series. Basically learning to be caring and compassionate while ALSO dealing with grief and interdimensional shenanigans.
One of the things I found really fun (it was unintentionally done but now I like it so its intentional now.) Is that each book roughly represents the 5 stages of grief.
As the first one is anger. Oliver is mostly passed the fuck off that this dumb alien clown sauntered into his life and thought it would be neat to CARE about him like he was a PERSON with FEELINGS. Irrationally angry, because he blames her for the loss of his mom (i mean so does his dad who goes through the stages of grief slightly slower than Oliver does) and uses her as a personal emotional punching bag until he realizes that SHE got his bio dad to concede his appeal for custody via literally stalking him and making him so paranoid that he was deemed an unfit parent >:3
All the while too, as the main focus is on the two characters of Oliver and Dindet, there is a background plot leading up to the second, third, and fourth (possibly up to 6 books) of the clown authorities looking for Dindet. And also the checkovs gun that is his neighbor.
The second book is mostly erring in the bargaining side of the coin for Oliver while Jon goes through his stage of anger. Oliver learns more about Dindet but doesn't quite trust her as she is clearly hiding information and KNOWS his mom. But she won't talk. Meanwhile, his neighbor working on a completely different project gets his hands on some clown matter and goes apeshit with it to build his energy machine.
We also learned more about the type of person Dindet is, which is naive and caring but also incredibly self destructive and reckless. By far a major people pleaser with huge self love issues. While Oliver is more of a "i don't give a shit what you think" though its more a facade he puts on to protect himself from rejection :/ he is far more comfortable in his own skin but external factors can make him freak out a little and he is terrible at talking to people.
It culminates when the project Jon solicited Dindet's assistance in is wreck by her own hands and Oliver's growth completely backtracks to the point that he finally manages to get our clown to leave (only for her to be clownknapped by his whole ass fucking neighbor to be used as the conduit to his energy machine)
And yeh, Ols almost immediately regrets his actions (though at first its more denial that she actually left) especially when he catches his neighbor using her as fuel for his machine to the point that all her fucking matter is completely burned away via electrical current! >:3
THEN Oliver gets to the depression arch >:3 (i haven't written this part yet so its up in the air atm)
Basically, with his mom dead and now the only person who could reasonably be considered his friend ALSO Basically dead, Ols falls into this really bad streak of just walking backward in his grief. Anger, denial, bargaining, the whole shebang. But THIS time the lab and the government AND the secret clown police are all in cahoots to cover up what happened at the lab and to do that they need to get rid of Ols and his dad to allow their plot to work. (Will be revealed later)
So throughout the first two books I've been alluding to the leader of the clowns via Dindet's ostensible paranoia and their name is Smile. They have underlings though and one is named Poppy. So the clowns get into the lab and convince Jon to send his son to a treatment facility for therapy under the thin veil that it will protect them from the repercussions of the machine. Oliver is not to upset about this though because he has been to therapy before from his past with his bio dad.
Except obviously the clowns don't want to actually help anyone. Their goal is to wear my boy down until he ready to die because- did I mention this was middle grade??
Anyways. This particular book I want to develop my potential romance between Douglass (Oliver's kid neighbor) and Ols and also deconstruct Oliver's personality via flashbacks that parallel the events in the story so we understand why he reacts the way he does to things and also i think it would be neat that the clowns technically succeed in their plan to draw out Dindet the wanted criminal by using the person she cares most about against her. By making him want to die!!
Then! For the next book, I'm planning on having more clown infiltration, more bonding between my children and romance between my boys because oooohhh boy am I gonna have fun tearing everyone apart when the real fucking deal Smile shows up and fucks shit up. Smile is my main villian and a veru fun and manipulative one at that. She uses Oliver to get to Dindet and eventually catches the both of them, revealing clowns to the entire world right before snatching them back to the home base the Cornucopia.
This is where we learn all the information we have been wanting and building up to about Dindet >:3
She is a criminal because she has Essentially tied a doomed universe to the Cornucopia in a never ending time loop because she is so heckin big that every time that universe is torn apart, she jumps back in time and DIES in order to recreate it. (She's the big bang yo)
That isn't the only reason though. Oliver comes to learn that his mom was FRIENDS with Smile. And Smile was the one who tore her apart in the machine scattering her subconscious in the literally timeless Cornucopia (time doesn't exist there so aging, death, anything like that is completely halted) and MARIE who has been half alive and omnipotent this whole fucking time has been trapped in the Cornucopia unable to see her family or child but fully able to see a know the infinitesimal inevitability of the destruction of his universe. So what does she do? She PULLS DINDET PUT OF THE ABYSS AND TELLS HER TO GO BE FRIENDS WITH HER KID TO KEEP THE TIME LOOP GOING.
And this has happened before. Like this book series is literally ONE (1) version of events that have been stacking up on top of eachother for millenia. The reason Dindet shows up in the first place is because she can partially see these past loops and the remnants of her love for Oliver keeps her coming back YO.
But while all this lovely information is being shared, Dindet is in clown jail and Oliver is treated as a pet to Smile. He tries to stage a break out and fails and what does Smile do? She turns him into a got damn monkey!
And uses him as literal fucking bait to a starving Dindet in order to justify her sentence (which is obviously death)
It almost works too, if it weren't for the fact that these two kids are BEST FRIENDS NOW and would legit die AND kill for eachother, Dindet pushes Oliver out of the Cornucopia (he is still a monkey boy btw) into his universe which inadvertently scatters him.
(A human person can enter the Cornucopia but if they leave, their molecular structure will destabilize in a slow and painful way until they literally are nothing left so that sucks)
This is where I want the next book to start tbh. Now back at home without his friend, as. A. Monkey. Oliver find that his entire home town is under lock down and strict control by the clowns who have now infiltrated the government and are putting plans forth to rebuild the SAME MACHINE his dad and Dindet built to bring about the destruction of the universe. (They want to do this because if they prevent Dindet from jumping back in time, they can end the time loop and get on with their lives)
So ols has to essemble a rag tag crew of Douglass and some other classmates and figure out that all the goop floating around belongs to Dindet (bruh. She is the size of the universe like. There is a lot of her to go around) and they can technically use it as gateways into other dimensions to gather an arsenal of GIANT BABY ANIMALS AND SQUIRREL BIRD CATS AND DRAWN TO LIFE ANYTHINGS so they can try to 1. Bring back our clown gal who is the key to fixing this and 2. Take on the now heavily fortified lab in order to get Olivers and Douglass's dads back.
All the while my boy is slowly dying >:3
Eventually, Oliver finds a way to get Dindet back but its at a cost :/ he tricks Smile into turning our clown organic to prevent her from being able to control any of her matter whatsoever and the cost of it is that Smile is VERY bad at making humans, so she basically traps Dindet in a catatonic meat sack that doesn't have half the organs it needs to function properly :/
To make her not be organic anymore they gotta uh..kill the tumor that is an organic half body (which yes, does have nerve endings) which eventually allows Dindet to be 100% clown again.
They break into the lab, but its basically too late. Reality is fractured and the multiverse is imploding in on itself and in the midst of all of this, Ols and Dindet are careening through the vacuum of an entirely empty space, dying of starvation and scattering and the only option left is to jump back in time to start the loop over again.
It is heartfelt and it is good and pure and the last moments they share together perfectly bring this loop together because in the VERY FIRST BOOK Oliver asks why Dindet came and she says "you asked me to."
And their last moments together he asks her to come back for him. Like I CANNOT yall!!
But that isn't the end. Yet.
The real end is after they die and the universe begins and a single hand pushes through the stars and pulls out a little orange bean. And it's Marie, pulling Dindet put of the Abyss this universe that is so intrinsically tied to the Cornucopia that it literally creates all the fucking clowns.
Its not supposed to be destroyed. And the reason eveeything falls into place so perfectly and things always go the same way is because ita already been seen and already been narrated. By Marie.
The WHOLE ASS SERIES IS IN THIRD PERSON OMNISCIENT BUT ITS ACTUALLY NOT. Its first person. Narrated by Marie.
Dindet knows Marie because she pulled her out of the Cornucopia. Clowns exist because Dindet was told by Oliver that she was and looked like a clown. The entire ass UNIVERSE exists because Oliver and Dindet are the fucking building blocks of life.
All of Olivers character actions and growth and eventual love (platonic) for Dindet shape their futures and all of it started because a mom was so concerned and guilty about leaving her kid in such a time of need that she would rather start the world over than see him suffer.
So..themes.
Throughout the series there are heavy HEAVY parallels between Dindet and Marie (partly because Dindet is a parrot and almost all her actions and reactions mimmick things that she has seen and the first person she met who wasn't out to kill her was Marie) but also because Dindet is the conduit through which Marie vicariously lives out the rest of Oliver's fleeting life with him.
There is even a point where Oliver genuinely questions whether or not Dindet actually IS his mom (she isn't obviously)
One of the themes I really love about this series is that compassion, unconditional love and care is deserving to even the most obstinant. Oliver isn't easy to love. He actively makes it very hard for anyone who could be a peer (even his own dad sometimes) to care about him. He constantly pushes people away to safeguard himself from potential harm and it takes three fucking books ROUGHLY 200,000 words to get this boy to understand what unconditional love can do.
How it can help with the grieving process, and help you become a more compassionate person toward others.
And also how your actions affect others!!
Like i said, Dindet is a parrot, she can read your mind (if she wanted to) but what she sees she incorporates into her own thoughts and as a reflection, Olivers harsh words and actions, even the most simple kind are recorded and even amplified. He is MEAN to Dindet. He makes fun of her often and gets angry with her and calls her stupid and she internalizes that immediately and it has an immediate affect on how she views herself. Oliver doesn't even think of this as something that happens until much later in the story! And gradually he grows past it and becomes more considerate and affirming toward Dindet and Douglass as a result.
And the way things matter. Oh. Every little detail matters in this story up to seemingly inconsequential continuity errors! Foreshadowing is everywhere from the first fucking sentence to the last because the things the characters do and say to eachother are simultaneously current and in the past all at once and no one knows which is which.
Someone got hurt? There are consequences, even unforseen ones. Dindet loses her hat. It is the most precious thing she owns and is a huge comfort item for her. Oliver asked where she got it? A friend gave it to her.
OLIVER MAKES HER A NEW HAT AFTER SHE LOSES IT. He is the FRIEND that gave it to her.
Almost everything in this story has parallels and consequences and twists and turns and outcomes that are wildly unpredictable (up until now because I've just spoiled the entire fucking plot but who cares!!)
Like...this is my baby. I care SO MUCH about this story and the characters in it that when I think about certain scenes I legitimately start crying.
I can't wait to publish the first book yall. I'm planning on publishing it either through a publisher or self publish, and maybe make a comic even? Idk. I just i really think people would like my dumb absurd story about clowns and I wish i could just spout about it 24/7...it breaks my heart that no one will listen.
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astralshipper · 5 years ago
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OKAY HI IM SORRY I HAVENT BEEN ON IN A COUPLE DAYS REALLY!! i had midterms the past two days so i have been. stressing. BUT the worst of them are over! while i was gone i got tagged in that new selfship tag game a couple times (thank u k and aricka!!!) and ALSO HELLO IF U HAVE TAGGED ME IN APPRECIATION POSTS U ARE ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE AND I APPRECIATE U SO SO MUCH!!! THANK U SO MUCH!! okay! gonna do the self ship tag under the cut!! doing it as astrael bc Fun :000
KEY: Italics is Astrael. Bold is Sam.
Introduce yourselves. Who are you? What do you like to do? Hi! I’m Astrael, I’m an angel of the lord, and all that fun stuff. I like music a lot, and I’m really into art, even though I’m not the best at it. I also really love reading and writing! Those rare nights that we can just hang out in the silent bunker and dive into a good book, they’re the best nights for sure. Hey, my name’s Sam, I’m a hunter. Like, “things that go bump in the night” kind of hunter, not the Bambi kind, heh. When we aren’t out on a hunt or stopping the world from going off the rails for the seventeenth time this week, I really like reading and history. True crime stuff is really interesting to me, and I’m a huge fan of ancient lore and really just any knowledge I can get my hands on, you know? If I’ve got the time, watching football is always a good way to spend an evening too. 
How was your first meeting like? Oh, dad, I don’t know if I wanna really say... it’s kinda embarrassing. So, I kinda... searched him down? Not in like! A creepy way! I’m an angel, right? So, Sammy boy over here was supposed to be big bro Lucifer’s vessel for the apocalypse. Big family dinner drama and all that. So, us angels were tasked with basically... trying to kick his ass at any point possible. Ha! That didn’t work out too well, did it? So, yeah, she found me at this library while Dean and I were working a case. She didn’t tell me what she was or who she was, but she ended up helping me with the case and we got to talking for a while. Then, Dean called me, and I had to run before I could get any contact information. Not that you needed it anyways. You were friends with my brother already, luckily. I had found him because I wanted to see who this big bad evil guy was that everyone was talking about, and I... didn’t expect this... giant puppy, basically. Hey!
How did you get together? Who confessed first? Oh god, this one... Listen, I didn’t MEAN for this to be how it went down! What he’s trying to tell you is, he’s the one that confessed at the absolute worst possible time. Okay, well, I thought you were gonna die so I wasn’t exactly thinking straight. The words just kinda came out, alright? 
What are your thoughts on PDA? Believe it or not, I’m... kinda shy. So I worry a lot about making people uncomfortable. That’s not that I don’t WANT to be affectionate with Sam in public. And that’s where I come in. Hi. Most PDA is initiated by me, somehow. 
How do you show your affection towards each other/what are your love languages? Sam reacts best to acts of service, I feel like. Though, different moods tend to call for different things. If it’s general love, it’s more of the acts of service. If he’s scared or worried, it’s more physical affection. I show my affection mostly through physical affection and verbal affirmations, since that’s usually what Astra prefers. But I’m big on performing acts of service too. 
Who's more introverted and who's more extroverted? We’re both introverts.  Oh, but you KNOW you’re the more extroverted one. You can handle being around people way longer than I can. Well, yeah, but it’s not my favorite thing in the world. We took that, uh, personality type test? I’m INFJ, she’s INFP. Just in case that means something to you guys.
Who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon? I’m big spoon. Okay, not ALWAYS. Don’t say it so intensely like that. Nope, it’s definitely always me. Sam, baby, you aren’t fooling anybody. That, like, 5% of times that you’re the little spoon doesn’t make you any less of a man.  Can we please move on?
What do you like doing together the most? Reading! Netflix! Making fun of Dean! Sleeping! That’s YOUR favorite, angel.
Tell us a fun fact about the other! Ooooh, okay. Well, Astra takes notes in her books as she reads them. Like, keeps a pencil with her and writes notes on the sides of pages. I have no idea what she’s taking notes on, but I don’t think she knows that we’re not in grade school and she doesn’t have to do the annotations anymore. I trusted you with that information and you betray me. I can’t believe this... Just for that, hi everyone, Sam once tore the whole bunker apart because he couldn’t find this one specific damn flannel, as if he didn’t have seventy other identical ones hanging up in the closet already. Also, I’m an angel, I never went to grade school, asshole. Check and mate. I don’t think that sounded quite as cool and intimidating as you wanted it to.
Tag other selfshippers and their f/os. anybody that wants to!!!!!
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imnotcameraready · 5 years ago
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Enjambment (chivalry au)
A/N: it’s the first not-main-story story!!!! wrote this while tryna figure out how to get from point a to point b, and it doesn’t really fit in with the story’s Flow, so it’s gonna be its own lil part! it’s also got a little bit more character building for the Playwright and the Artist, if anyone wanted that lm a o — they’re good bois, they’re just. really bad at being good bois. 
also i kNOW chapter 11 came out like, last night, but  ,. ., ., .. . ive had this sitting ready for literally a week ., ,. ,..  sorry for bombarding y’all with this au :’’D
WARNINGS: self-deprecation, self-hate, touch starved, threats, cursing/swearing, destruction of property, destruction of art (ewe)
Words: 2085
AO3 link to this story; AO3 link to chivalry’s main plot
MASTERPOST! <-- i dont think this story is understandable without reading the other parts, hence im plugging it so much  ; v; i’m sorry y’all ilu <3 
chivalry taglist: @starlightvirgil​ @forrestwyrm​ @daflangstlairde​ @marshmallow-the-panda​ @askthesnake​ @k9cat​ @patromlogil​
general tag: @jemthebookworm​
hope you enjoy!! <3 <3 <3 
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The Playwright didn’t like admitting he was wrong. He often wasn’t. Having the position of an omniscient narrator meant he got to be right a lot, which was one of Roman’s favorite things.
But his argument with the Artist may not have been one of those “right” things. The Playwright leaned on the table, twirling a pencil absentmindedly as he contemplated. He wasn’t entirely wrong, no. The Artist had to keep in mind the safety of the other Sides. If anything happened to any of them, Thomas would be hurt, and Roman would riot. Every bit of him, except for…. The Playwright winced. On the other hand, this in-fighting was exactly what they should be countering. Sure, everyone disagreed and that was the purpose of this dismantling, but the Playwright was above these squabbles. Should be above them, figuratively, because in physical space, he very much was above them.
Apologizing would be the logical thing to do.
He sighed, rubbing his forehead. He didn’t enjoy entering the medieval town, didn’t like going deeper into the Imagination, but it seemed he would traverse there more often.
The sound of a paper flipping caught his attention. His eyes shot open as he looked around the room. No one was there.
But he’d definitely heard movement. The Playwright swallowed down his fear. “Hello?” he called out.
Nothing. None of the costumes had moved, none of the shoes or benches or any of his paperwork.
Wait, no, there was something. The Playwright moved a few scraps to the side and picked up an envelope. This hadn’t been there before.
Cordial invitation of Roman ‘Playwright’ Sanders to the Entry Gala — in celebration of Morality, Logic, Anxiety, and Deceit’s welcome to the Imagination.
The Playwright’s eyes widened. Oh, fuck.
He tore the envelope open and read its contents.
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The Artist wept.
He ran his hand along the ruined canvas — ruined by his hand, torn open with his own knife and dirtied with his tears — and pressed it fast to his chest.
Why was he so mean? Why did it hurt so much, for his creations to be picked at like vultures and a carcass? Wasn’t that the point, wasn’t that how artists improved?
Ah, who was he kidding. He wasn’t a real artist at all. Just a name he’d selected when they first started this game.
The Artist was so wrapped up in his lamentations that he didn’t hear the soft sound of paper falling onto the floor beside him.
He shouted again, cradling the broken mess of canvas and wooden frames. All good artists got second opinions. No one was safe from criticism, and there was always room for improvement! He should know this, he DID know that, it was reasonable. But hearing it from the others always made him so anxious—
He sniffed, wiping his face with the paw of his sweatshirt. If he was falling apart this bad, it must mean he was losing this challenge thing. But thinking of anxiety and then, well, Anxiety, Virgil…. the Artist wished he’d gotten to meet the two, too. Like every other bit, he did love them.
The sound of debris being scattered, then a surprised yelp. The Artist sighed, curling up tighter. God fucking damnit.
��What—I’ve—Artist?!” the Playwright asked.
The Artist was sat against the wall, cradling a bundle of broken paintings to his chest, previously white sweater dirtied with layers upon layers of paint. All around him, every painting that has previously been neatly stacked in the room was torn to shreds. Broken pieces of wood and canvases halved were strewn around the room in piles, or one thick pile, with only a small circle of ground around the Artist. Sketchbooks were torn, even the drawing tablet was — okay, the Playwright wasn’t going to look at that and think of the physical monetary price, because none of this was real. Holy shit, the Artist had put a hole into the wall of his house. There was a hole? He’d punched a hole into the wall? Good heavens.
The Playwright, in an effort to not damage any of his art, accidentally appeared on top of one of the piles. He fell over, landing on his butt amongst the shreds, and looked around wildly.
“What happened?” he asked once he caught sight of the Artist’s frozen figure in the corner, still since he arrived, “Did Dragon—”
“They weren’t good enough, so I tore them up,” the Artist whispered into his own folded arms.
The Playwright’s brow pinched in worry. That had happened only a few times before, where a single work had been so terrible that the Artist ripped it to shreds in anger, but he’d never done….this. And he especially wouldn’t have done this, since he had numerous pieces he wanted to show the other Sides.
He drew in a breath as his mind filled in the gap.
“Oh, Artist, what did they say?” the Playwright whispered, pushing himself up and slowly making his way closer.
“Nothing. Get away.”
He grit his teeth. The Artist was going to be difficult, wasn’t he? Now, now, it wasn’t a good time to lose his temper. He came with a job to do, and he wasn’t cruel enough to leave the Artist to be upset alone. And he needed his help. This was purely logical.
He wanted to laugh. Being logical was so taxing; how did Logan do it all the time?
“Artist. I’m not leaving,” the Playwright sat in front of him, “I take it that Logic and Morality didn’t take well to your paintings?”
He glanced up at the Playwright, quick enough to now show an expression but slow enough that the Playwright caught a glimpse of his tearstained eyes.
“They–They said my art’s unfinished. Logic did.”
The Playwright frowned. “Wait. That’s it?”
The Artist curled up more, and the Playwright gently put a hand on his forearm. “Wait, wait, I didn’t mean it  judgy. I just….that’s something you’ve complained about, too.”
To that, the Artist shot him a small glare. When the Playwright put it like that, then the Artist’s reaction seemed childish. “Yeah, but,” he sighed, “I didn’t want them to say anything about it.”
“Then why didn’t you warn them about it?” the Playwright asked, confused.
“Look, I don’t–I don’t know!” the Artist tossed the painting he was cradling aside and ran his hands through his hair, “It all happened so fast, and Padre was getting mad at me for not letting Child stay here. It—they both got upset at me, and they interrupted my painting, and Padre kept hugging me and it felt weird.”
The Playwright exhaled. He put a mental pin on the hugging thing — a similar thing had happened to him the other day, and he would have to talk to the others about what may be occurring — and then scooted closer again, sitting beside the Artist.
“Seeing as I wasn’t there, I cannot speak to what your argument may have been about. But I know that Logic and Morality wouldn’t have wanted to intentionally harm us.”
“How do you know, Pencil pusher?” the Artist hissed, though his words held an emptiness that betrayed his disbelief.
“Because they wouldn’t. They’re calloused, but they wouldn’t hurt us. Maybe Prince.”
The Artist snorted. “You really hate that guy.”
The Playwright smiled. Good. He cleared his throat and threw up his hands in the Prince’s signature style. “Hoo hoo, look at me, I’m a Disney Prince and I like singing songs and being an idiot!” he said, mockingly emphasizing a mispronunciation of “Disney.”
That got the Artist to laugh, shoving the Playwright gently. “Hey, hey, Disney’s cool! I’ll defend Disney to the death,” he rubbed the back of his neck.
The tension returned, but only slightly. The Playwright didn’t want to push him, but he was a little impatient for the Artist to pull himself together. His feet gently tapped against the ground in a small, familiar tune.
After what seemed like ages, the Artist let out a breath.
“....I did….overreact. A little,” he said. “The knife was too much.”
“A lot. Wait, did you say knife?”
“Yeah. I, um, I lost it a little.” He rubbed the back of his head again, looking up at the Playwright. “Thank you for sitting with me.”
The Playwright smiled. Wonderful. He patted the Artist’s arm comfortingly. “If I cannot comfort myself, then what am I doing?”
They both shared a small chuckle at that. It was easy to forget that they were two parts of a much more cohesive whole.
It was also easy to forget that the Playwright had something else he wanted to ask. He clapped, sitting upright and startling the Artist.
“Sorry,” he put his hands up, eyes blazing with new worry, “I actually came to ask something else — did you get invited to the party?”
The Artist’s brow furrowed. “The….party? No?”
“Oh, come, you must have,” the Playwright looked around.
The same envelope he’d received prior was sitting beside the Artist, on top of some of the ruined paintings. He picked it up and found two more envelopes beneath. “Great Ben Jonson, you got Logic and Morality’s invitations, too,” the Playwright flipped through the three cards and handed the one addressed to the Artist, to the Artist. “You must not have noticed it earlier. I got a letter similar, this morning. From Dragon.”
“From Dragon? Fuck, how’d he find us?” the Artist read the front and flipped it over again, tearing it open.
“I don’t know. Perhaps he just sent it to the location of whoever said Logic’s name last night. I also don’t know how he got backstage to deliver mine,” the Playwright read over his shoulder, “I honestly came here hoping to find the other Sides. We need to warn them.”
“We do? About what?” the Artist shot him a frown, but the Playwright just gestured to the paper, so he read the invitation.
His eyes scanned through it once. His body slowly tense as he realized what was being asked, and he flipped it over, checking all around the letter and the envelope that there wasn’t more.
“This,” the Artist reread the letter once more before lowering it and staring, stricken, at the Playwright, “This is a fucked up joke, right? Like, it’s gotta be a joke. Dragon’s Disney pranking us, without friends.”
“I don’t want to hazard that,” the Playwright stood up and motioned for the Artist to get up, “We need to find the others and warn them. If Logic and Morality’s invitations are here, then they must not know, and it’s a safe bet that if they don’t know, then Anxiety and Deceit don’t know, either.”
The Artist pushed himself up, rolling his sleeves up and wiping his face slowly. “He wouldn’t hurt them,” he mumbled. “Why’s he mentioning Prince, too?”
“I don’t know. And after what he did to Damsel?” The Artist rolled his eyes as the Playwright continued, “I don’t think Dragon would hesitate to hurt them, and he’s using the concept of Prince as bait.”
Goddamnit, he was probably right. The Artist rubbed his eyes and fixed his glasses. “Alright. I just,” God, he was hideous. “Should I change?”
The Playwright squinted. “Have you not left your house since this all started?”
“No,” the Artist looked at him like he was stupid, “Why would I?”
Alright. Alright, this was a predicament. The Playwright blew out a lot of air, eyebrows raising as he tried to figure out, in the most concise way, he could tell the Artist that he wanted to throttle him. His attire was absolutely not correct for the setting that they’d established, and he couldn’t fathom WHY the Artist wanted to parade around a medieval town looking like THAT.
No, you know what? It was fine. Sleep was walking around in a leather jacket, it’s FINE. Perhaps the Playwright was the only one who cared about the sanctity of the setting.
Meanwhile, the Artist looked around and waved his hand. The torn paintings all disappeared, leaving the room empty, looking larger than ever. The hole in the wall faded away, establishing itself as a solid wall once more. He looked down at his outfit and simply wiped it, the paint stains all disappearing as his hand passed over them, revealing a creamy-white color once more.
“That’s good enough,” the Playwright snapped, grabbing a fist of his shirt and tugging him forward, “Come on.”
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captain-kingliamsqueen · 6 years ago
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You Can Only Be You (Liam x MC)
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This may get taken down, I’m a little unsure about it so it may be removed later on...
Pairing: Liam x Riley
Summary:…Riley and her daughter have a heart to heart.
Word Count: 2,191
Masterlist <—–
Tagged : @starstruckzonkoperatorbat  @drakelover78  @queencatherynerhys @devineinterventions2 @jayjay879  @kawairinrin  @hopefulmoonobject @flyawayblue56  @gardeningourmet  @blackcatkita  @syltti78  @theroyalweisme  @hhiggs  @mfackenthal  @bruteforcebears @pens-girl-87 @barbaravalentino @umccall71 @darley1101 @crookedslimecreatorpasta  @jamjar84 @starstruckpixelberryhistoryvoid @speedyoperarascalparty @katurrade @scarlettedragon @zeniamiii @annekebbphotography @liam-rhys @xxrainbowprincessxx @perfectprofessorherokid @mynameiskaylabella
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 It was 9pm when Riley approached her daughter’s bedroom. Liam was in a late meeting and wasn’t due back at the apartment for another hour.
“Deli-Bear, it’s time to put the book down” Riley stated calmly from the bedroom door. The 15-year-old looked up at her mother with a frown.
“I’m almost finished, could I have five more minutes, please?”
“sweetie you have school in the morning”
“I know…I promise I’ll go straight to sleep as soon as I’ve finished” Riley wasn’t sure what it was that she seen in her daughters eyes…but it wasn’t the usual happy glow she had.
“…alright…five minutes, but that’s it, as soon as the five minutes are up, its bed time” Riley stated. “thank you” Delilah replied as she buried her head back into her book. Riley stayed for a moment as she watched her daughter reading happily, buried in her book. Her attention was caught when she heard a noise coming from the other bedroom, where their youngest slept. Riley crossed the hall and stopped at the door. she watched as the little girl playing with her new dollhouse, she had been attached to it, since her mother and father gifted her with it for her fourth birthday. Riley cleared her through letting the little one know she was there, then let out a giggled a she seen her jump after being caught. Riley walked over to her and kneeled beside her.
“you should be sleeping” she whispered
“I got scared” the little girl mumbled
“scared of what baby?”
“the wind, it’s too loud”
“oh baby, it’s okay, it’s just a little wind, why don’t you and I climb into bed?” Riley gently wrapped her arms around her.
“will you stay, until I’m sleeping?” the little one asked in a whisper as she cuddled her mother.
“of course, I will, baby” Riley stood to her feet, taking the little girl’s hand in her own.
“c’mon sweetie, let’s get you to bed” Riley walked her over to the bed, she lifted the duvet, then help her climb back in then she lay herself down on top of the duvet.
“now, Ella, it’s time to go to sleep”
“I can still hear it”
“it’s okay, baby, it’s just a little wind, it can’t hurt you”
“promise?”
“I promise, sweetie” Riley whispered as she gently ran her fingers through Ella’s Hair. “Goodnight Ella” she whispered before She placed a gentle kiss on her head as she sang softly to her daughter, sending her to a slumber. Riley was startled when she went to turn and get out of bed and seen Liam stood at the door.
“how long have you been there?” she asked
“not long” he whispered, trying not to wake the little one. as Riley made her way to Liam, he opened his arms, pulling her into his hold, placing the most gentle kiss on her head.
“was it the wind keeping her up again?” Liam asked
“yeah, poor girl” she sighed as she cuddled into him.
“why don’t we get to bed?” Liam asked
“hmmm I like the sound of that” she hummed with a smile.
“alright, c’mon then” the two headed down to their bedroom.
“I missed you today” Riley whispered tiredly as she squeezed his hand.
“I missed you too, Baby”
“I’m Exhausted, I feel like I could sleep for a year” Riley yawned as she headed for her dresser, then began to change
“me too, I feel like I haven’t slept in weeks”
“what times your first meeting tomorrow?” Liam asked from the across the room.
“ten am”
“alright, why don’t I have it postponed for a couple of hours, you can sleep a little longer?”
“I can’t ask you to do that Liam, plus I have to get the children up for school, Ella has to go to her nursery class” The two headed for the bathroom, where they done their usual routines of washing their faces and brushing their teeth.
“you didn’t, I offered, it’s fine, I have an early meeting anyway I’ll get them up” he smirked “I’ll send Alex a message and let him know to postpone it”
“thank you honey” Riley smiled, she rinsed her mouth then, placed a kiss on Liam's lips. After the two finished their routines they headed for bed, turning the bedroom light off on the way. Once they were in bed, Riley shuffled over to cuddled Liam, pulling the duvet on her side of the bed, around her tightly, keeping her warm.
“its freezing in here” she mumbled
“c’mere” Liam whispered as he cuddled close to her, he gently ran his hand up and down her thigh, to help her warm up. “hmmm my human radiator” Riley smirked.
“Liam?”
“yeah?”
“I love you”
“I love you too baby” he whispered as he gently placed a kiss on her head.
The next day Riley awoke to a noise coming from somewhere in the apartment. She stretched and yawned as she reached out to lift her phone to check the time. Eleven am… there shouldn’t be anyone in the apartment, the children were all out, Liam was in is second meeting of the day. Riley got out of bed, pulling her robe and slippers on, then she headed out of the bedroom. She quietly made her way down the hallway past Ella’s bedroom, then the boy’s bedroom after that. As she went to pass Delilah’ room, she heard the noise, louder, this time…it was coming from in there.
She took a deep breath as she placed her hand on the handle, her heart was beating out of her chest, then she flung the door open.  She gasped as she seen Delilah sitting on her bed, reading.
“DELILAH RHYS! WHY ARE YOU NOT AT SCHOOL?!” she reprimanded
“mom!” Delilah jumped.
“I-um…”
“does your dad know you’re here?”
“no…please mom, don’t tell him!” the teen stood from the bed and approached Riley.
“does security know you’re not at school?”
“yes, I told Mara I wasn’t feeling very well, she was going to speak to dad, but I reminded her that dad was in a meeting and it wouldn’t be right to interrupt it.”
“Why aren’t you at school?”
“I…I don’t like it there”
“what do you mean you don’t like it, Delilah?”
���the other kids there, they don’t like me mom”
“Deli, you gotta elaborate, tell me what you mean?”
“they pick on me mom”
“they pick on you?”
“yeah…they…they don’t like me”
“baby, not everyone is going to like you”
“mom, they call me names…I don’t want to go back, they make fun of me.” Delilah burst into tears
“hey, listen” Riley instantly wrapped her arms around her daughter, holding her close. “what they say…it doesn’t matter sweetie”
“but the things they say mom…they comment on my clothes, my looks, everything about me, sparks a comment…I don’t like being there”
“hey, look at me…I don’t care what they say…you are perfect just the way you are.  Everyone is different baby, but you can only be you, if they don’t like that…then fuck them”
“mom!?” Delilah chuckled slightly at her mother’s foul language.
“what? It’s true! Fuck them all! Listen…ive been through what you’re going through…I struggled…I struggled horrible baby, they called me all sorts…when I was your age, I had a million freckles on my face” Riley smiled “and one day…my best friend…she called me a leopard, do you know what I did”
“what?”
“I went home, and I cried myself to sleep…”
“but…but your always so strong”
“yes…I am now…most of the time. But you can ask every person on the planet…and majority will tell you when they were you’re age…they struggled too… the only difference between you and me baby, is that its people who don’t know you, that are judging you, they don’t know anything about you babygirl so don’t let them hurt you …it was my friends that turned on me…”
“this one girl…we were joined at the hip…we were friends since day one, we met in our first year of high school…and I remember one day…she made a comment about how I was putting weight on and that I was too big…at this point I was actually underweight for my height and everything, then she said…what was it now… ahh that’s it “y’know ri, maybe you should start wearing make-up and get yourself a boyfriend” and that tore me apart…so I started eating a little less…and I always thought so badly of myself, I was wearing make up all the time because I thought you know Riley, if you don’t start wearing make-up…you won’t be pretty enough to have a boyfriend…if you put any more weight on…no guy is gonna wanna look at you…I knew it was bullshit but…I was between the ages of 14 and 16…I was thinking the same thing most teenagers were thinking…my brain was toxic when I was your age…for years, I struggled because I let what they said get to me…and I shouldn’t have…I didn’t have anyone I could speak to about it, I spent years, full of so much anxiety, I couldn’t go to school…college or work without a face full of makeup, I could not do it, I feared what people thought of me because the girl called me weird, I questioned everything I did, I would have anxiety attacks at work, at my first job, working in a store…lots of people coming in and out…my brain was working overtime…all of these people were judging me… when I was twenty…I told myself, no…I will not live my life like this! I will not live my life based on what other people thought…I told myself…they don’t know me…they don’t know anything about me…so why on earth should I let my life be ruled by what they might say…I would never know if they did say anything…because I don’t know them” she chuckled “I’m telling you all of this…because I need you to believe me when I tell you…that what they say…it doesn’t matter…what they say…is not the truth…and if you let it get to you baby it will do more harm than good. You know…when I started my job at the bar that I met your father at…I made a decision…I made a decision to live my life…don’t let stupid things that don’t matter bother me. You go to school, and you work hard, you make friends… and you succeed babygirl! One day…one day you will be queen, and a lot of people will have some not very nice things to say…you could be the nicest…most generous queen but there will always be people trying to bring you down baby and its your decision to make…you can let them get to you…or you can choose to stand tall against them.”
“I don’t wanna hurt because of them mom”
“then don’t…let it go in one ear and out the other.” Riley gently wiped her daughters’ cheeks “for the record sweetie…your father has to know”
“but…”
“but nothing sweetie, he will be mad if we don’t tell him, he is your father…he needs to know…I think you should tell him”
“o-okay”
“I think he has a break between his meetings, shall we go and see if he’s in his office?”
“okay” Delilah nodded as she wiped her face.
Riley and Delilah left the apartment and headed for Liam's office. The two stopped as the came to his door. Riley knocked gently then opened the door, allowing Delilah to walk in first, she followed straight after, closing the door behind her.
“Deli, what are you doing here sweetie?” Liam asked as he stood and walked round to the front of his desk to meet his wife and daughter.
“Delilah has something to tell you”
“is everything alright, why aren’t you at school…are you okay?”
“daddy breathe…I’m okay”
“what’s wrong then?”
“I didn’t go to school today”
“why not? Are you sick?”
“no, I’m not sick…I didn’t want to go to school because…the other kids…they weren’t being very nice to me”
“what did they do? Did they hurt you?”
“they were calling me nasty names, making not very nice comments about me…I didn’t go because I didn’t want them to make me feel sad anymore” Riley and Liam swore they heard their hearts breaking.
“c’mere” he wrapped his arms around her. “we love you so much sweetheart, we love you the way that you are”
“I know daddy…I talked with mom and I’m going back to school tomorrow…and I’m not going to let them get to me”
“good, you’re a strong girl, Delilah…stronger than I was at your age. All I ask of you is that, if it continues…you will come and talk to us”
“I will…I promise”
“now…I have some free time…what do my girls think about having some lunch?” Riley and Delilah nodded happily as they headed out followed by Liam. Riley and Liam walked hand in hand as Delilah skipped a little ahead of them.
“oh…and Delilah?” Riley called catching her attention.
“yes mom?”
“next time you decide to skip school and not inform me or your father…my foot…might just connect with your ass”
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vaalinors · 7 years ago
Text
you’re the anchor (that i tied to my brain)
Edward Elric to the last jedi 9 pm DON’T BE FUCKING LATE IM TALKIN TO U YAO: pray tell where the fuck is my brother
Edward Elric: it is 8 o fucking clock 
Edward Elric: im locked the fuck out of the house 
Edward Elric: and al STILL ISN’T BACK FROM HIS GODFUCK SHITHOLE DATE
Paninya: ed take a deep breath n hurl urself into a pond or smth
Paninya: als been freakin out about mei for at least 38478392 years now
Paninya: let him relieve his thirst
Paninya: AND BTW THIS IS UR OWN DAMN FAULT
Edward Elric: how in The FUCK???? is this MY FAULT??????
Paninya: u couldve had a perfectly gross dorm on campus bUT NO U HAD TO BE BOUJEE N RENT AN APARTMENT WITH UR BROTHER
Edward Elric: IM ONLY LOCKED OUT BC AL LOST HIS GODDAMN KEY AND I
Edward Elric: BEING THE SAINTLY BROTHER THAT I AM
Ling Yao: w0w thats a lie
Edward Elric: GAVE HIM MINE AND NOW I GOTTA SCREAM AT HIM TILL HE PUTS HIS TONGUE BACK IN HIS OWN MOUTH AND COMES THE FUCK BACK
Winry Rockbell: u reeaaallly dont gotta
Paninya: have u heard??? of this thing??????
Paninya: called????? pm?????????????
Paninya: bc its a thing u could use to bitch at al without annoyin the entire shit outta the rest of us
Ling Yao: lol lan fans at her grandpas rn and her phone cant be put on silent
Ling Yao: shes going to kick ur ass
Edward Elric: IM gonna kick ALS ass if he doesnt show up in the next half hour I DONT CARE IF HES ON A FUCKIN DATE
Ling Yao: may i remind u my sister is the girl ur brothers currently wooing
Ling Yao: u do that and lan fan wont be the only one kicking ur ass
Edward Elric: what think u can take me weakLing
Ling Yao: uh duh but i was talking about mei
Edward Elric: PLS shes what half a foot tall????? PLSSSSSSS
Lan Fan: so twice as tall as you
Edward Elric: DO,,,,,U WANT,,,,,,.,TO FUCKING DIE,,,,,,,.,.,,,,
Lan Fan: edward
Lan Fan: i am at my grandfathers house
Lan Fan: my phone is ringing so loud my neighbors think their doorbells r broken
Lan Fan: my grandfather is ready to smash it into oblivion
Lan Fan: if he does we WILL be reliving 3/10 and youll be tasting a lot more than just your stomach acid when im done with you
Lan Fan: do not make me sneak out of training to answer you again
Paninya: Rekt™
Ling Yao: mic drop
Edward Elric: psh whatever
Edward Elric: u fuckers think 3/10 scared me
Edward Elric: GUESS FUCKING AGAIN
Edward Elric: FUCKING C O M E  A T  M E
Paninya: o look shes typing
Edward Elric: anyway im gonna pm al goodnight and thank u
Winry Rockbell to is it gay to want to literally drink ushers voice: OI AL how was the date
Winry Rockbell: I WANT DETAILS
Edward Elric: if anyone wants to know how to be the Creepiest Fucking Person Ever
Edward Elric: talk to winry
Winry Rockbell: well seeing that i won best ed impression two years in a row now id say i do indeed know
Edward Elric: HAR DE HAR
Edward Elric: u think u fucking know me???
Alphonse Elric: Is it hard?
Paninya: yea all u rlly gotta do is yell fuck a lot
Alphonse Elric: Put ur hair in a braid with one obnoxious ass strand sticking right up
Winry Rockbell: dont forget u have to crouch down
Winry Rockbell: i recommend kneeling
Edward Elric: dont think i cant deck all u shitdicks
Ling Yao: ive just annoyed the info out of my sister
Ling Yao: it seems al is quite the casanova
Ling Yao: clearly not a family trait BUT
Edward Elric: i will piss in ur backpack
Ling Yao: case in point
Ling Yao: ANYWAYS UPDATE ON THE BET FRONT
Ling Yao: as im sure u all know ned, roy mustang and i have had an ongoing wager AKA who can wrangle the most freshies into joining his club
Ling Yao: well as of today the martial arts/dance troupe has 20 more members
Edward Elric: BULLSHIT
Ling Yao: and i believe that pulls me ahead of ned to tie evenly with mustang
Ling Yao: and really would any of u choose archery over martial arts??
Paninya: tbh i choose social life over any clubs but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Edward Elric: basic bitch
Paninya: u kno it
Paninya: but srsly wtf shifty how did u get 20 new members so fast
Lan Fan: he showed off and gave his number out to like half of them
Ling Yao: :O how could u EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS
Ling Yao: I tRuSTeD YOu
Lan Fan: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Edward Elric: just u fuckin wait ling
Edward Elric: ill leave both u asshats in the GROUND
Alphonse Elric: I mean first u have to
Alphonse Elric: Yknow
Alphonse Elric: Be taller than the ground
Edward Elric: I LIVE WITH U I CAN MAKE UR LIFE FUCKING MISERABLE U HEAR
Winry Rockbell to kyle ron WHOMST???: so about laser tag this weekend
Winry Rockbell: invite lings sister yay or nay
Lan Fan: why not
Rosé Thomas: It’d even us out
Rebecca Catalina: does it even matter tbh we all kno whichever team rizas on is gonna win
Riza Hawkeye: Catalina i resent that statement
Rebecca Catalina: pls point to me where thE LIE IS HAWKEYE
Winry Rockbell: ok then
Winry Rockbell added Mei Chang to the chat
Paninya: EY UVE JUST BECOME PART OF THE MESS THAT IS US SOPHS
Maria Ross: and a few seniors
Paninya: WE’RE BASICALLY A KPOP GROUP BUT BETTER (ʘ‿ʘ✿)
Lan Fan: ok we’re going laser tagging this weekend you in
Mei Chang: i feel like i may die if i say no so as long as my idiot brother isn’t going i’m in
Paninya to could u actually perhaps makin bacon pancakes: [DELETED MESSAGE]
Ling Yao: wot
Alphonse Elric: Whos going laser tagging
Winry Rockbell: pan ffs
Paninya: (◔◡◔✿)
Edward Elric: fuckin RUDE
Lan Fan to Panko: what is it
Panko: i have no idea what u mean my dear
Lan Fan: uve been typing for an hour now AND i can hear your teeth grinding from my room
Panko: i have no idea what u could be referring to my sweet
Panko: i just wanna kno how ur days been
Lan Fan: this is about ling isnt it
Panko: dear
Panko: u used an emoji
Panko: u never use emojis
Lan Fan: look i get that youre just looking out for me
Lan Fan: but its fine and so am i
Lan Fan: i really dont need a pity heart to heart
Lan Fan: besides hed give out his number to everyone in the world if he could thats just who he is
Panko: well ur not wrong
Panko: is it bad to say im so glad i rarely have to deal with bois
Lan Fan: girls can be idiots too
Panko: ppl in general usually r
Alphonse Elric to WE CANT KEEP DOWN ALL THAT VODKA ON KRAFT MAC N CHEESE: So i cant feel
Ling Yao: mY FACE WHEN IM WITH U
Alphonse Elric: That and the rest of my body
Alphonse Elric: How is one person so funny and sweet and amazing
Paninya: MY SON HES IN LOVE YALL
Paninya: ITS TRUE FUCKIN LOVE
Paninya: ELRIC 2.0 TEXT ME IF U NEED ANYTHIN
Paninya: CONDOMS
Winry Rockbell: oh god
Paninya: BIRTH CONTROL
Edward Elric: PAN WHAT THE FUCK U THINK AL KNOWS WHAT A CONDOM IS
Paninya: HE IS A HORNY TEENAGE BOI I BET U MY ENTIRE ASS HES USED ONE BEFORE
Lan Fan: PANINYA
Mei Chang: uh
Paninya: oh fuck
Ling Yao: mei so it was U that made that balloon fart noise just now
Lan Fan: ling kindly shut up
Edward Elric: SO AL ISNT BREATHING I THINK HES DEAD
Edward Elric: HES BEEN STARING AT HIS PHONE FOR 10 MINS NOW FUCK WHAT DO I DO
Paninya: CALL 911 U MORON
Lan Fan: where do you live i know CPR
Ling Yao: thats hot
Winry Rockbell: MEI PRETEND U CANT READ
Mei Chang: er i can’t read suddenly i don’t know
Ling Yao: (╯°□°)╯now she gives in to the memes
Edward Elric: ok nvm hes alive
Edward Elric: buT I M NOT GONNA BE FUC KBRB RUNNINGgh
Paninya: rip in peace
Alphonse Elric to how Extra™ do u gotta be to come up with fuccboi: So we’re still down for gta tomorrow right
Alphonse Elric: Ed cant make it because i killed him
Ling Yao: the old ed cant come to the phone right now
Ling Yao: why
Edward Elric: because hes going to cut off lings fucking elbows
Roy Mustang: can you even reach his fingers
Edward Elric: listeN HERE U liL SHIT
Alphonse Elric kicked Edward Elric from the chat
Ling Yao: thats cold
Ling Yao added Edward Elric to the chat
Roy Mustang: i knew it couldnt last
Edward Elric: if any of u polefucks ever want to know how to get ling to do something bother lan fan
Ling Yao: try it again and i will Key Your Face
Ling Yao: she has a physics test tomorrow
Alphonse Elric: Wow
Roy Mustang: :O
Jean Havoc: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Edward Elric: i got the beer for tmr night
Alphonse Elric: Damn right u do im not letting u in otherwise
Edward Elric: ignore asshurt over here hes pissed i embarrassed him in front of his date
Roy Mustang: at least he has one
Jean Havoc: yeah have u ever had a girlfriend edward??
Denny Brosh: Do you know what a woman is ned????
Edward Elric has left the chat
Ling Yao to Good Shit ✔💯: hey lan fan
Ling Yao: LAN FAAAAAN
Good Shit ✔💯: what
Ling Yao: guess who i just saw in chem doodling one miss rockbells name on his hw
Good Shit ✔💯: no
Ling Yao: oh yes
Ling Yao: i wanted to take a pic but ed decided to be a good student and tore it off before handing it in
Good Shit ✔💯: does he even try in chem
Ling Yao: no but at least he doesnt fall asleep like he does in lit
Good Shit ✔💯: hemingway puts everyone to sleep
Good Shit ✔💯: read some brontë or steinbeck
Good Shit ✔💯: id say dickens too but anti Semitism and all
Ling Yao: i love it when u talk lit to me
Ling Yao: reminds me of when u used to sneak into our library and read the biggest books u could find
Good Shit ✔💯: better than you climbing up the side of my house to sneak into my room
Ling Yao: pls u loved it
Good Shit ✔💯: debatable
Good Shit ✔💯: club meetings today dont forget
Ling Yao: how can i ur always here to remind me ;)
Winry Rockbell added Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc, Maria Ross, and Rebecca Catalina to ROSE TYLER DEFENSE SQUAD WHERE YALL AT
Winry Rockbell: just so we’re clear friday nights a byob sitch
Lan Fan: well wade was totally off
Ling Yao: atta girl
Paninya: wow and here i was thinkin byob meant bug ur own business
Edward Elric: what the utter fuck
Alphonse Elric: Dont act coy u LIVED a bugs life ed
Winry Rockbell: BRING YOUR OWN BOTTLE CAPICHE
Winry Rockbell: jesus now ive got the kim possible theme song stuck in my head
Edward Elric: if one of u picks yoshi i will e n d  u
Paninya: no promises n its not our fault yoshi pushed ur fool ass off mushroom gorge that one time
Rebecca Catalina: LMAOOO
Edward Elric: that demonic fucking dinosaur needs to go extinct
Roy Mustang: since brosh doesnt give a shit do we want to make this a floor thing
Ling Yao: i see what ur doing mercedes benz u sneak ass
Roy Mustang: you caught up yao i can finally start trying
Edward Elric: news flash fuckers i got 5 more ppl today u can both suck my ASS
Winry Rockbell: ok but keep it small
Lan Fan: ,,,,,,,
Maria Ross: this is why timing’s important kids
Ling Yao: how much smaller could his butt get
Roy Mustang: are we even be able to locate it
Rebecca Catalina: does ned even have a torso????
Edward Elric: I HOPE U ALL ROT IN HELL
Paninya changed the chat name to eds ass is bigfoot pass it on
Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: is it weird that i cant stop smiling at ed
Winry Rockbell: hes sleeping in the chair across from me
Mulan but Better: a bit
Winry Rockbell: yeah
Winry Rockbell: hes such a nerd
Mulan but Better: but hes your nerd
Roy Mustang changed the chat name to WHO TE HFUCKS IDEA WAS IT O MAKE THIS AFLOOR THING
Edward Elric changed the chat name to URS U FUCKING CURLY STRAW
Paninya to wubba lubba dub dub: all of u need to see this Spicy™ video of ed from last night
Winry Rockbell: pan its 9 fucking am
Winry Rockbell: who tf is up that cares
Paninya: o dont u worry winnie the pooh
Lan Fan: yep shes still drunk
Paninya: i think ed will when he stops groaning in the bathroom there
Paninya sent a video in the chat
Paninya: srsly im postin this on ig later
Winry Rockbell: SHIT thats loud
Alphonse Elric: What the fuck is that
Riza Hawkeye: Is
Riza Hawkeye: Is he singing mad world
Paninya: u bet ur blonde ass he is
Lan Fan: was this after we took turns playing yoshi and demolishing him in mario kart
Paninya: u bet ur toned ass it was
Winry Rockbell: paninya i can barely hear anything over u shouting STRIP STRIP STRIP in the bg
Ling Yao: edward really is tone deaf isnt he
Ling Yao: oh hes stopped puking
Ling Yao: hes looking at his phone
Alphonse Elric: Rip in peace our bloodshot eyes
Edward Elric: wHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS IS THAT
Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS
Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DID U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DO TO MY PHONE
Ling Yao: HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD
Roy Mustang: dear jesus what is happening
Paninya: oH MY WHICH ONE OF U DID THIS
Paninya: I WILL K I S S U
Mei Chang: there is way too much shouting this goddamn early in the morning
Ling Yao: while u were busy cackling over that video i may or may not have convinced lan fan to steal eds phone
Edward Elric: U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS BETTER ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIX MY ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS PHONE OR IM ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS
Jean Havoc: hes like an infuriated duck with a lisp
Roy Mustang: siri what is the tiniest species of duck
Edward Elric: U WANNA ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIGHT
Paninya: pls tell me one of u hungover fucks is gettin this on video
Mei Chang: lan fan u okay?
Lan Fan: yeah too much shouting i have a headache
Lan Fan: add me back when ed calms down (◕ ‿ ◕✿)
Lan Fan has left the chat
Paninya: hey ed ill bet even yoshi can say fuck
Edward Elric: FOR ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS SAKE
Lan Fan to Guns n Roses: hey
Lan Fan: i dont know where you are rn
Lan Fan: im still sort of hungover and i kind of need someone to talk to who isnt going to get angry or
Lan Fan: try and rationalize everything and well
Lan Fan: do you ever just wish that things could change
Lan Fan: that you could be someone entirely different or that you could get out and leave and not give a damn about anything or anyone or
Lan Fan: because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Guns n Roses: Okay i was at work but i’m coming back right now
Guns n Roses: And i’m going to get you tea and you’re going to tell me whatever you want to tell me okay??
Lan Fan: thanks
Paninya to ID SING OH CANADA TOO IF MY PM HAD AN ASS LIKE THAT: ok but for real
Paninya: dicks r like mushrooms
Paninya: little funny gross mushrooms
Rosé Thomas: Paninya you’re high go home
Paninya: oh sweet flower i wish i was
Winry Rockbell: its 4 fucking am GO TO SLEEP
Paninya: time is an illusion
Paninya to TRICKY tricky TRICKY tricky: i crave the sweet release of death
Edward Elric: FUCKING KARMA
Winry Rockbell: i could hear u playing music at 5 am again today why tf have u been up so late
Paninya: my roommate was screaming french at me
Paninya: she has a test today
Paninya: also
Paninya added Lan Fan to the chat
Paninya: LAN FANNNNNNNN
Lan Fan: i didnt do the psych hw paninya
Lan Fan: and run-dmc doesnt deserve this subpar treatment
Alphonse Elric: Lan fan
Alphonse Elric: Lings been looking for u
Lan Fan: i know its ok dont worry about it
Edward Elric: A FUCKING BIRD JUST SHAT ON MY HEAD
Paninya: what was that????? u said???????
Paninya: about karma?????????
Edward Elric: WHAT IS THIS LITERAL SHIT ON ED DAY
Lan Fan: is that not everyday
Edward Elric: I WILL FIGHT ALL U ASSDICKS
Lan Fan: 3/10 edward
Edward Elric: i will fight me for only i myself am the one assdick here thank u amen and goodbye
Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: so i hear you were looking for me
Literal Monkey™: that depends
Literal Monkey™: what did i do lan fan
Literal Monkey™: did i say something
Literal Monkey™: tell me what i did that made you so upset at me
Literal Monkey™: if i did something im sorry i really am but you cant just disappear and not even tell me whats wrong
Lan Fan: i know
Lan Fan: it wasnt you i just
Lan Fan: my grandfathers relapse and its been rough with classes lately
Lan Fan: it kind of hit me that i cant always afford to be chill all the time
Lan Fan: sorry ive been mia
Literal Monkey™: well now i feel like a dick
Literal Monkey™: ur my best friend lan fan and i think ive gotten so used to u being near i freak out when ur not
Literal Monkey™: i guess it kind of says something about me that might not be a good thing
Literal Monkey™: especially since i climbed the side of ur house to see if u went back home and u werent there
Lan Fan: you w h a t
Ling Yao to Frying Pan: in hindsight
Ling Yao: i prob shouldnt have told her about the climbing
Ling Yao: shes not talking to me again
Frying Pan: u done fucked up boiii
Ling Yao: so will u tell me whats really wrong with her now
Frying Pan: not a chance boiii
Winry Rockbell to Wannabe Alchemist: hey i know its kind of sudden
Winry Rockbell: and u prob have other things to do
Wannabe Alchemist: nah im free shoot
Winry Rockbell: could u maybe come with me this weekend
Wannabe Alchemist: …are u sure
Wannabe Alchemist: i mean of course ill go hell even if i had a meeting with the goddamn president id skip it to go anywhere with u
Wannabe Alchemist: but i dont want to overstep my right or anything
Winry Rockbell: no ed u could never impose
Winry Rockbell: its just been kind of a shit year
Winry Rockbell: i dont know if i can handle going to visit them alone this time
Wannabe Alchemist: dont worry im there for u
Wannabe Alchemist: whatever u need
Winry Rockbell: i
Winry Rockbell: thanks ed
Wannabe Alchemist: theyd be proud of u win
Winry Rockbell: :)
Winry Rockbell: not to degrade ur sentiment or anything because damn ed u can be sweet
Winry Rockbell: but id do buttfuck anything besides meet with our president
Wannabe Alchemist: i read that as u would butt fuck anything but shit u right
Mei Chang to “3/10 WASNT EVEN THAT BAD” famous last words: paninya was that you outside my school trying to sell taylor swift tshirts
Lan Fan: paninya what the hell
Paninya: ok HS GIRLS EAT TSWIFT UP
Mei Chang: you looked stalkerish as hell my principal was going to call the police
Winry Rockbell: just burn them in a rusty can like the ratchet ho u are
Paninya: what is This Disrespect™ n pls im not gonna burn them that merch cost me lk 984759 bucks
Lan Fan: sounds fake but ok
Ling Yao: and why tf would u sell them taylor swift is finally getting interesting
Winry Rockbell: yeah shes finally being savage af isnt this what u signed up for
Paninya: hey i signed up for Drama Taylor
Paninya: this is just plain whoring for attention
Alphonse Elric: Not sure those terms are mutually exclusive
Edward Elric: HOLY FUCK
Lan Fan: speaking of whoring for attention
Edward Elric: I GOT MUSTANG TO PLAY LEAGUE
Edward Elric: went straight for brand the dumb fucking pyromaniac
Alphonse Elric: Can i just remind u that ur first time ur jerk ass went right for garen
Edward Elric: GAREN is a PERFECTLY FUCKING GOOD CHAMPION TO GO FOR WHEN UR A NOOB DUMBASS
Alphonse Elric: Sounds fake but ok
Ling Yao: and a bit like neds trying to compensate for something
Edward Elric: U ALL AINT SHIT
Lan Fan: its yaint
Ling Yao: u uncultured fuck
Paninya: k first of all lol is a game for 13 year old prepubescent boys
Lan Fan: so perfect for edward
Edward Elric: DONT FUCKING TRY U KNOW UR A HO FOR AKALI
Edward Elric: ,,,,,,,,dont say 3/10 u know i would rather fucking die
Lan Fan: then perish
Alphonse Elric: Ed did U make that whale noise
Winry Rockbell: the real question here is paninya???? can actually spell???????? words???????? whAT??????
Paninya: SECOND OF ALL any of u want tswift shirts hmu (◡‿◡✿)
Edward Elric: taylor swift is fucking great why the fuck would u sell them
Winry Rockbell: ………..
Alphonse Elric: ……………………
Paninya: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Lan Fan changed the chat name to ill take edward elric is fake Punk Rock™ for 800 alex
Edward Elric: OI U CAN BE PUNK ROCK AND STILL LISTEN TO GUILTY PLEASURE POP
Winry Rockbell: SOUNDS FAKE BUT OK
Rosé Thomas added Mei Chang, Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric, Roy Mustang, and Riza Hawkeye to Unnamed
Paninya changed the chat name to PROJECT LINGFAN
Paninya: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP
Alphonse Elric: What the hell is lingfan
Paninya: PLS WITHHOLD ALL QUESTIONS TILL THE END OF THE BRIEFING MY PRECIOUS CHILD
Winry Rockbell: she continues??? to spell????? correctly???????? what i am amazed?????????????
Paninya: ROCKBELL FULL OFFENSE STFU
Winry Rockbell: rude
Paninya: SO EVERYONE HERE KNOWS OUR GOOD FRIEND LING YAO AKA SHIFTY AKA MONKEY BOI AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA
Mei Chang: if i say no can i leave
Paninya: AND EVERYONE ALSO KNOWS MY SPICY GIRL LIGHT OF MY LIFE LAN FAN AKA DEFINITION OF BADASS AKA EDS WORST NIGHTMARE AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA
Edward Elric: she is not my worst fucking nightmare
Mei Chang: so you don’t turn into a stuttering baby every time she brings up 3/10
Edward Elric: U WERENT THERE U DONT FUCKING K N O W
Paninya: AND EVERYONE HERE KNOWS THAT THOSE 2 HAVE THE BIGGEST RAGING BONERS FOR EACH OTHER THAT ANYONES EVER FUCKIN SEEN YEA
Winry Rockbell: i feel like there was a better way of putting that
Edward Elric: wait hold THE FUCK UP ur fucking with me right
Roy Mustang: yes edward
Roy Mustang: she made an entire separate chat and invited all these people just so she could fuck with you
Alphonse Elric: Thats literally what the normal group chat is for wtf ned
Edward Elric: what the UTTER FUCK???? LING AND LAN FAN????????
Rosé Thomas: You were right winry he’s blind
Alphonse Elric: Dude how the hell are u so ignorant
Riza Hawkeye: Edward are you really unaware of this
Edward Elric: HOW DO U ALL KNOW ABOUT THIS WHAT THE FUCK
Roy Mustang: id ask if you saw them at the floor party but i remembered you were too busy practicing for your x factor audition
Paninya: OK ED SINCE UR CLEARLY THE OBLIVIOUSEST FUCKING PERSON ON THE FACE OF THE GODDAMN PLANET
Winry Rockbell: obliviousest
Winry Rockbell: i knew it wouldnt last
Paninya: LET ME JUST HIT U WITH SOME EXAMPLES
Paninya: LAN FAN NEVER BLUSHES UNLESS U MENTION LING TO HER AND THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE C H I L D H O O D
Paninya: WHEN LAN FAN SHATTERED HER ARM IN FRESHMAN YEAR LING CARRIED HER HALFWAY TO THE DAMN HOSPITAL AND SLEPT NEXT TO HER SICKBED FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK SHE WAS THERE
Roy Mustang: he threatened to and i quote ‘key your face’ if you bothered her again
Winry Rockbell: lan fan only shattered her arm that time because some dumbass thugs tried to jump ling in order to threaten his dad
Mei Chang: whenever lan fan doesnt answer him right away he gets all huffy and paces for hours and checks his phone like 500 times until she replies LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES
Paninya: LITERALLY TODAY OK RIZA CAN CONFIRM IM WALKIN TO MEET LAN FAN FOR PSYCH AND I SEE HER PRACTICING A FUCKING KARATE MOVE OR SOME SHIT WITH LING ON THE QUAD
Paninya: SHE STARTS LAUGHING AND I SWEAR ON MY FANTASTIC ASS LING STARES AT HER FOR 10 WHOLE MINS
Paninya: SHES BENDING HIS LEG FARTHER THAN ANY LEG SHOULD BEND AND HES LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHES THE ONLY DAMN THING WORTH KNOWING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKIN UNIVERSE
Paninya: THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENIN FOR YEARS I CANT EVEN WITH THEIR UNNECESSARY ANGST ANYMORE
Paninya: THEY NEED TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER BEFORE I ACTUALLY FUCKIN EXPLODE JFC (╯✿◕益◕)╯︵ ┻━┻
Riza Hawkeye: That is indeed what happened
Rosé Thomas: And that’s why we made this chat
Rosé Thomas: So all of you can experience our pain
Edward Elric: ,,,,,,
Alphonse Elric: Seriously wtf is a lingfan
Mei Chang to pacific rim uprising is the sequel we didnt know we wanted and always needed no one fight me on this: you all know my name is mei right
Paninya: first time im hearin it
Mei Chang: because my calc teacher doesnt
Winry Rockbell: oh god what does he call u
Mei Chang: literally ‘mee’
Edward Elric: RIP IN FUCKING PEACE
Paninya: wot in tarnation
Ling Yao: u mean wot in pronunciation
Mei Chang: mee-eye is okay and mYE sure but MEE
Paninya: dw a teacher called me panYEA once lk??? bless u????
Edward Elric: omfg PETITION TO CALL PANINYA PANYEAH FROM NOW ON
Lan Fan: panno
Winry Rockbell: a teacher called me wine-ry in fifth grade like how in the actual fuck could u mess win-ree up
Edward Elric: maybe bc u were indeed hella whiny
Winry Rockbell: at least she knew i was there u were too smol to see over the table
Alphonse Elric: Better loud than nonexistent
Edward Elric: GTFO AL I WAS FUCKING TALLER THAN U
Paninya: “was”
Mei Chang: in any case i’m done trying to correct him hello yes my name is mee
Ling Yao: and wen it nite
Paninya: wtf r u on ling yao n where can i get some
Winry Rockbell: its another fucking meme i stg lan fan pls control this boy
Lan Fan: the kalc teachre cannt saye it rhite
Ling Yao: vINdICatION
Edward Elric to PROJECT LINGFAN: fuck this they gotta be in love
Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: hey theyre selling stroop waffles outside the bio building
Winry Rockbell: i can grab some for u if ur in class
Winry Rockbell: wait is that u in line
Winry Rockbell: are u wearing a lab coat
Winry Rockbell: u ran out of class didnt u
Winry Rockbell: did u not even bother to take off ur goggles u look like a nerdy terminator
Winry Rockbell: how many are u buying holy shit ARE U STUFFING THEM IN UR LABORATORY COAT POCKETS
Winry Rockbell: DID U JUST N A R U T O  R U N OUT OF THE QUAD
Mulan but Better: why are you still asking me you know the answers yes
Roy Mustang to My Queen™: theyre selling stroop waffles right now
My Queen™: Has ling gotten there yet
Roy Mustang: theyre no longer selling stroop waffles right now
Rosé Thomas to 7 excellents and LAN FAN THE WAFFLE TRAITOR: It’s official
Rosé Thomas: Mustang won the bet
Winry Rockbell: wow i forgot that was still going on
Maria Ross: how’s ed taking it
Rosé Thomas: Oh how you would think he’d take it
Paninya: EYYYY EDS GONNA ATTRACT THE CAMPUS POPO AGAIN
Roy Mustang to PROJECT LINGFAN (WHAT IS A LINGFAN SOMEONE TELL ME ALREADY): if ling lost the bet he had to choose
Roy Mustang: either actually outright confess to lan fan or end whatever it is they have
Paninya: Y TF WOULD U GIVE HIM THE SECOND OPTION ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS STOP DANCIN AROUND EACH OTHER N BANG
Alphonse Elric: Paninya its more complicated than that
Paninya: WHAT IN THE 7TH RING OF HELL COULD BE SO COMPLICATED ABOUT THIS
Mei Chang: long story short
Mei Chang: our familys shit deep in politics
Mei Chang: either ling gets in there shit deep too or hes married off
Edward Elric: well fuck
Rosé Thomas: Lan fan knows
Rosé Thomas: When she messaged me after the party i found out that this is why she was so upset
Rosé Thomas: Apparently a drunk ling told her that she should leave him because ‘he’s scared about what would happen if he stopped caring and she deserves better than a coward’
Paninya: well now i feel like shit
Mei Chang: welcome to my world
Mei Chang to Secret Swiftie: remember how you came to my school and almost got arrested
Mei Chang: a couple of girls are asking about your tshirts
Secret Swiftie: call it what u want is a fuckin eargasm I TAKE IT ALL BACK ALL OF IT
Secret Swiftie: I HAVE HEARD AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE A N G E L
Mei Chang: great i’ll tell them you died
Lan Fan to WHOS FAKE PUNK ROCK NOW U FILTHY FUCKING HYPOCRITES P A N I N Y A: has anyone seen my book
Paninya: what book is it
Lan Fan: howard’s end
Alphonse Elric: Forsters great
Winry Rockbell: sorry i havent
Lan Fan: its fine i probably left it in the studio
Ling Yao: oi i was just kicked out of the dining hall what kind of DISRESPECT
Paninya: k but u were eatin all the soup
Ling Yao: is that a crime now
Winry Rockbell: u took the entire pot ling
Lan Fan: you didnt even try to be stealthy about it you just ran back to your seat giggling
Mei Chang: how are they just kicking you out now
Lan Fan: oh they have he climbs back in through the window
Edward Elric: last week u complained the rice wasnt cooked
Ling Yao: have u????? had the rice here??????? itS C R U N C H Y
Edward Elric: jfc lower ur standards ur highness this is college
Lan Fan: you dont pay 70K a year to eat
Paninya: just suck it up lk the rest of us
Winry Rockbell: its either this or starve yao
Ling Yao: :O
Ling Yao changed the chat name to fake friends™
Alphonse Elric to cAn yOU FEeL iT Now mR KRAbs: What the everloving fuck do i have to murder to find out what the shit lingfan is?????¿¿¿¿¿
Lan Fan: …..
Alphonse Elric: Ah
Alphonse Elric: Wrong chat
Paninya: (✿◉‿◉)
Winry Rockbell: AL FOR THE LOV EOF
Winry Rockbell kicked Lan Fan from the chat
Winry Rockbell kicked Ling Yao from the chat
Mei Chang: you know they can still see previous messages
Edward Elric: fuckkkkkk
Paninya: well first time not directin this at edward
Paninya: duuuuuude u fucked up
Panko to Lan Fan: hey i saved u a seat in psych but u didnt look over
Panko: is this about kickin u out of the squad chat
Lan Fan: do they all know
Panko: uh kno what
Lan Fan: does everyone know paninya
Panko: if i answer will u promise not to disappear again
Panko: no one told anyone else about it if thats what ur angry about we all figured it out by ourselves
Panko: well except for ed but that boi is dumb af
Panko: n im not sayin u guys were obvious or anything it took a while until we saw it
Lan Fan: i think im going to go back to my grandfathers for the weekend
Panko: pls dont drop off the face of the earth again
Lan Fan: i wont i was going to go back anyway and space is good
Panko: ur not the only one in this lan fan
Panko: no matter how much u wont see it
Lan Fan: (◠‿◠✿)
Winry Rockbell to PROJECT LINGFAN (ALPHONSE ELRIC DONE FUCKED UP YALL): so lan fans gone
Winry Rockbell: when did u say ling had to make a choice mustang
Roy Mustang: i didnt??
Edward Elric: u said he had to make a decision and DIDNT GIVE HIM A SHITDAMN DEADLINE
Edward Elric: ITS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN NOW HONDA
Paninya: well thats just great chevrolet
Riza Hawkeye: You really didnt think this through bmw
Roy Mustang: wow at least i didnt blow our cover
Alphonse Elric: Dont throw me under the bus with u toyota at least im repentant
Paninya: alright well now that lamborgini royally fucked up
Winry Rockbell: “lamborgini”
Winry Rockbell: so close
Edward Elric: so what the fuck is gonna happen now
Winry Rockbell: ok mei can talk to ling bc she lives with him
Mei Chang: unfortunately
Rosé Thomas: I don’t know if lan fan will be willing to talk
Rosé Thomas: She used an emoji again
Mei Chang: actually i’ll talk to her someone else tackle my brother
Paninya: idk how to speak fuccboi language one of the guys gotta do it
Winry Rockbell: after roy and als fuckups who else can we choose
Edward Elric: RUDE
Roy Mustang: sit down you didnt even know they were a thing
Edward Elric: MAYBE BC I DONT POKE MY FUCKING NOSE INTO OTHER PPLS BUSINESS
Alphonse Elric: Well ofc u physically cant ned
Winry Rockbell: can u even see other ppl without platform shoes
Mei Chang: or a ladder
Edward Elric: UR FUCKING SHORTER THAN ME JFC
Paninya to milk: hate it, shouting: always, music taste: shite = I AM FORCIBLY SHUT INTO THE BODY OF A SIX YEAR OLD: RIZA TOLD ME THERE IS A PETTING ZOO 3 MILES AWAY YALL MEET AT MY CAR IN 5
Edward Elric: we’re already fucking here
Ling Yao: lol weve been here for an hour
Alphonse Elric: Mustangs been holding a komodo dragon for approx half that time
Mei Chang: winry drove us and there are llamas
Winry Rockbell: i am surrounded by puppies rn am i dead
Paninya: bitch u r to me im writin u all out of my will CLEARLY ALL MY M8S ARE SHIT
Ling Yao to Sister Mine: mei
Ling Yao: meiiiiiii
Sister Mine: i’m literally right next to you what
Ling Yao: have u ever seen lan fan with her hair down
Sister Mine: once during the floor party you all snuck me into
Sister Mine: why do you ask
Ling Yao: her hair tie broke a few days ago and she was fussing with it and i couldnt breathe
Sister Mine: when her hair is down??
Ling Yao: up, down, soaking, gone
Ling Yao: she takes my breath away, mei
Ling Yao: she takes my breath away no matter what she does, or say, or looks like and i am a coward
Sister Mine: you may be right
Ling Yao: are you ashamed of me?
Sister Mine: that depends
Sister Mine: what do you plan to do about it
Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: hey i know its 5 am and youre probably not even awake and this is probably useless anyway considering ive been transparent as all hell
Lan Fan: but i dont think sleep is an option until i tell you
Lan Fan: youre ridiculous
Lan Fan: youre ridiculous and full of it and infuriating and reckless and beautiful and just so so idiotic
Lan Fan: id have to be too i guess
Lan Fan: to be in love with you even after all of it
Lan Fan: and i really am just that
Lan Fan: idiotic and in love with you
Literal Monkey™: thanks
Lan Fan: did you just breakfast at tiffanys me
Literal Monkey™: yes because you would understand it
Literal Monkey™: you understand lan fan
Literal Monkey™: every shitty meme or reference or word i say you’ll always always understand
Literal Monkey™: just like how you understand that im all those things you said i was
Literal Monkey™: im reckless and infuriating and indecisive and greedy and far too ridiculous to deserve you and you understand that
Literal Monkey™: and if youre idiotic for being in love with me then im a hundred times more and you understand why too
Lan Fan: i think you have too much faith in me
Literal Monkey™: i think you have too little
Literal Monkey™: come to your window
Lan Fan: what why
Literal Monkey™: because its hard to type when im barely holding onto your window frame and looking like a hero straight out of an austen novel and honestly id rather told you how much im in love with you in person
Literal Monkey™: convention and all that
Lan Fan: well alright then
Paninya changed the chat name to IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED LADS LINGFAN IS REAL FUCKING CHRIST NO MORE ANGST I AM LIBERATEDDDD
Alphonse Elric: Great so can someone pls explain wtf a lingfan is now
Edward Elric: Read at 8:09 AM
FULL VERSION AND CONTINUATION HERE
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