#im not gonna make a habit of posting this i just think its fun
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2 people wanted this
#i like his thigh highs and silly little antennae#hey. 1st person who wanted this said theyd reblog. normally i dont put people on blast but id better see that shit im literally posting ass#not sfw#?#hes not actually naked so idk#im not gonna make a habit of posting this i just think its fun#i have to be awake in 6 hours to go to the doctor and probably get a bunch more blood stolen :3#n e way!#my art
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So about my fic that I posted (very scary). It’s a Matrix fic, and it’s got an aro character, and I am like... so very surprised that it is the first Matrix fic to have the “Aromantic” tag on AO3. Like, I was expecting 10. Or so. I know 10 still isn’t a lot, but I was expecting more than 0. I’m actually very surprised.
#bc i am shameless i shall add that it's called A Simulacra of Sound if anyone is interested#but like truly i... i know there isnt a lot of aro fic but i 1) overestimated the size of the matrix fandom--tbh im glad its not that big--#2) simply overestimated the frequency of aro fics being written#and yeah ikik if you want to see it you should write it. but i dont like reading my writing at all.#its not that i dont like it--i really like my writing--its just that i read it so many times that its meaningless#i dont get to be like 'omg cool wordplay' or 'ooh neat rhythm' or 'what a neat way to characterize that' im just like reading Sounds#its like listening to things backwards#matrix#aromantic#yeah#idk its weird bc i dont really want to write fic w/ an audience in mind bc its something i do for fun and i dont want to#fall back into the habit of writing for other people or what i think other people want to read#but man someone's gotta make more aro fanfic lol#also like ik a lot of aros hate the 'a robot it must be aro' thing but also like#if youre gonna think abt the sexuality of a program designed to like destroy humans#is it really more plausible that it wants some sweet sweet romance with the person it's trying to kill#like thats a part of why it is very surprising to me that no other aro matrix fics have been posted to ao3#anyway im not that like... bummed abt it rn so much as just like 'wow thats wild'#ugh i should go write my very existential common app essay#dante dicit
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SCROLL FOR @forgettable-au ANGST :D
ok so ((WAILS LOUDLY))
WE KNOW HOW THIS GOES *breaks knuckles* ITS TIME TO TEAR APART MY ART BECAUSE PASSION
trust me, im a proFESSIONAL yapper at this point
This whole thing takes place within my own headcanon that “The Quiche Room” was one of many of Sans and Wingdings’ little hangout spots. They also really liked the echo flower there (maybe they planted it themselves-) Maybe thats why Papyrus is so unnerved and disturbed by echo flowers now…
Notice, the echo flower grows as they grow!
Oh yeah! I had fun drawing them grown in their kid outfits for 2. Wingdings can finally see his ankles
2 is also sorta a reference to my Radio Star comic, same stuff they did as kids, Wingdings working and Sans assisting, They haven’t changed too much yet. haven’t gotten the lab job. yet.
in 3, this is after they get the job at the lab and Wingdings realizes its a great place for supporting his unhealthy habits of seclusion and emotional repression. The echo flower is repeating something Wingdings said a while ago. I dont know what- fill in your own angst I suppose (I cant do EVERYTHING around here)
in 1 and 2, the light sources… are each other. Sans n Wd. Theyre each others lights. Each others stars (cries loudly and noticeably) but then for 3, the only light source is the echo flower. Yknow. The echo flower. with wingdings’ voice
4 is how the quiche room looks in the game 👍 Dunno whats sadder… Wingdings’ voice being removed because he’s in the void now, or because someone just talked over it without a second thought.
Oh yeah, and its empty because Sans and Papyrus don’t remember that ever being a place they hung out.
Yeah.
Yeah, im crying too. Its okay, let it out.
SANS AND GASTER SANS AND GASTER SANS AND GASTER (PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE) I need them to interact i’m gonna have an aneurism.
THIS PART IS GETTING ITS OWN SECTION BECAUSE CMON MAN, ITS SANS AND GASTER
It was said in this post that Sans knows he was involved in whatever accident Gaster had, that had MAJOR consequences, and made everything and everyone different.
That makes me wonder, does Sans feel any guilt?? like subconsciously or not, he knows he was involved, so does he suspect he could have done something to stop it, or did something bad, and he was at fault in some way?
I DONT THINK HE WAS
so in 5, Sans is asking “what happened.”
What happened to him, why is everything like this, was it his fault? what did he do? what did he NOT do???
And Gaster just replies “Nothing that wasn’t my own fault.”
OK THATS ENOUGH. WHITEBOARD DOODLES, ATTACK!!!!
also- I PROMISE IM WORKING ON THE DTIYS 😭😭😭 IVE GOT IDEAS IDK HOW TO EXECUTE EM
Heres a thing I made/am working on(???) that was inspired by the dtiys though :3
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EMH Marble Hornets AU!!
ok i know im not creative when it comes to aus but i thought itd be interesting to tell the story of MH through EMH’s story? IF YOU GUYS HAVE THOUGHTS OR QUESTIONS PLS LEAVE SOME IN MY INBOX!!! :-]( or even questions for the MH!EMH characters heh)1
Basically its just marble hornets told through EMH, for example instead of “tapes i found” story telling theyd open a youtube channel for tips and tricks on making your own movie while they make their own called Marble Hornets! EMH/MLA spoilersish up ahead
Heres the character correspondences:
Alex-> Jeff
Jay-> Vinnie
Tim-> Evan
Brian-> Michael!MLA
Jess-> Alex!EMH
Amy ->Jeffs GF(so sorry i forgot her name 😭)
“Masky”->Habit(which makes sense depending on the theories you go with for either series)
“Hoody”->Patrick (same as the last one)
Characters in cant figure out an association with:
Steph, Jess(Evans bestfriend) Shaun So they might just not have a place in this story idk
Since Mlanderson and EMH are in the same universe i thought id make Brian the Michael/Patrick of this story, except more involved. Instead of their being a shaun i think id like Brian to just go to MH crew, if ykwim. I did this cause the only other character i thought could fit Brian was Alex!EMH and I didnt like that.
My take on Masky is that hes just a more aware Tim, not a separate being (tho i do like to think of it that way for fun sometimes ha ha). Masky in my mind was in a battle against the operators control and was ultimately trying to help Jay. I think Masky would br Habit in this series cause of the theory that Habit is one of the first few iterations of Evan, thats why theyre similar and so compatible etc if you know the theory you know. That does mean that Tim isnt gonna act all ha ity, just more erratic i think, i havent gone tooooooo far into a characterization(or even a name) for Emh!MH Habit yet
“Hoody” I see as just brian and he was just disguising himself. in this au “Hoody” would be patrick. Let me explain,
Frim what i gathetef through my second watch of EMH and, my first of MLA , patrick is just Michael but remembers every single iteration, hes a similar being to Habit, thats why he has powers ig? Look i havent gotten too far into theories fir MLA the fandom is so dead i never see any 😭😭. I dont want to get to far into theories on other series anyways cause rhis is about my AU so ANYYYYWAYS i think brian would fit that its just brians story doesnt fit entirely with Michael, actually Tim would probably fit more now that i think about it. Oh god now im thinking of switching them again uhm wtv
I think the rest of the correspondences make sense if you think about it a bit. Jay as Vinnie makes sense to me because of boths compulsive need for answers even though its destructive to those around them. Jay wouldnt be as much as a villain in this like vinnie is (or maybe i havent decided muahaha). I also thought they fit cause they both do that weird thing where they constatly have to document everything.
I thought tim eould fit Evan just cause of the whole habit arc.
Alex as Jeff was more of a fill a role thing that eventually made sense to me. I did think of making him Evan and Tim Jeff, and im still thinking of doing this, but i thought the whole finding the gf arc would fit alex more. Alex would still be one of the villains i think. Like i said this would be marble hornets told through EMH lol. I might even switch it up and assign a habit type role to Alex instead and there be two patrick characters who knows!
As you can tell im still thinking this through so maybe mext post i make about this will be more solid. if youre interested to talk about this kore with me(obv my inbox) or i have a slenderverse discord i made with my friend heh tik tok smug emoji. come join if youre looking for more slenderverse friends(and if youre interested in darkharvest and mla especially cause i need more people to talk about that to 😭😭)
#first time drawing brian sorry that he looks wonky 😓#actually really liked these(except brian)#probs cause its detached from my main style a lot 😭#art#artist#digital art#artwork#doodles#art work#fanart#mlandersen0#emh#everyman hybrid#marble hornets fanart#marble hornets#masky marble hornets#jay merrick#alex kraile#brian thomas#tim wright#marble hornets AU
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Rambling about character development in the new digital circus episode because holy moly i have a lot of thoughts
god this episode was so wonderful for fully rounding out the characters so far because we got to see parts of each character that we didn’t really see as much in the pilot
(im gonna put a cut so this post doesn’t take too much space but i talk about each of the human characters here)
i could make a whole separate post about pomnis development this ep but she especially is a great example of this; she spends almost the entire pilot panicking (she has some moments like with ragatha where she tries staying calm and figuring things out but she’s still clearly stressed the whole time) meanwhile in this ep despite how she’s still miserable in the beginning, unlike the pilot where we mainly saw other characters (mostly just ragatha and sometimes caine) reassuring/guiding her, she has a moment to calm down and we even see her empathize with another character and try reassure him.
i feel like her little heart to heart with gummigoo is a turning point for her this episode, it helps her realize and talk about her own worries of feeling like nothing to the other castmates and it gives her more confidence and comfort having someone going through the same issue, it’s after this that she seems more open to the other castmates particularly ragatha compared to how much she seemed to shut down interactions in the beginning of the ep or just not respond. and then!!! seeing how they still hold a funeral for each abstraction to remember them shows her how much the other characters still care and value eachother and that would soon include her as well!!
speaking of ragatha we also see her still going with her same habits in the pilot; focusing on putting the other performers first, comforting them and in pomnis case, trying to sweep the whole “you leaving me” thing under the rug despite still seeming hurt by it and pomni still feeling guilty. this is how she copes but we see how much these habits backfire on her; they don’t properly communicate and talk about what happened in the pilot, pomni doesn’t fully apologize because she spaces out while ragathas talking (i can imagine this might bottle up for the both of them and lead to conflict later) and despite her good intent she unintentionally comes off as patronizing “i’m not a child you don’t have to hype me up”
in the pilot ragathas more of a comforting/guiding character but in this episode we see her worry about pomni the whole time knowing how horrible her first day was but with how overwhelmed pomni still is she’s not able to reciprocate any of ragathas interactions. We see how this stresses ragatha out because again helping others is how she copes, she doesn’t know what to do when this doesn’t work and immediately thinks of the worst, that pomni doesn’t like her until kinger reassures her that she just needs time
AND SPEAKING OF WHICH, KINGER!!! ITS KINGER WHO REASSURES HER he’s still pretty out of it like we see in the pilot but he has that moment of being a more grounding figure for ragatha which is really nice because again we mainly see ragatha being the one trying to comfort the other characters! and it also gives a lot more insight into his character; despite his memory issues and trauma he still cares a lot about the other characters and tries helping and giving them advice when he’s able to
we also see more of zoobles character even though they were barely in the episode. they were pretty blunt and uncaring towards the other performers in the pilot but spent the entire episode off screen preparing kaufmos funeral!
jax and gangle weren’t super different from the pilot but there were some parts of their characters that were still expanded on that’s worth talking about i think
jax was just….. a lot more aggressive this episode then the pilot LMFAO we already knew he was gonna be an ass so it’s not really a surprise but it’s fun seeing the more chaotic parts of his personality; not just that but in the pilot there was a moment when kaufmo was being put in the cellar where he looked mad but they definitely emphasized his mask breaking more in this ep when they mentioned the funeral. I really think he cares about the abstractions a lot more then he lets on but he doesn’t want to be seen in a emotionally vulnerable way and that’s why he didn’t attend the funeral. i think he’s such a jerk to the other characters because he doesn’t wanna get attached to them because there’s always a chance they could abstract so i’m really interested on how he’s gonna develop later down the line
we got to see gangle with her comedy mask!! in the beginning!! i loved her screentime but there isn’t much i can think of to say at the moment but we did see some of her art too which is so cute to me and also upsetting because she drew her and kaufmo laughing becAUSE SHE FELT GUILTY ABOUR NOT LAUGHING AT HIS JOKES 😭😭 i like to think she draws art for the other characters pretty frequently…
anyways thanks for reading i just really needed to ramble abt this ep i really loved it
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#long post#digital circus#pomni#ragatha#kinger#jax#zooble#gangle#analysis#digital circus meta
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Can you do Dogboy Chiaki/General Chiaki hcs (both sfw and nsfw!!!) Mayhaps....
RAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE HYBRID CHARAVYERSSSS SI LOVE YOU/P ANON YOURE AMAOZONF YE SI FAM FO TEJM
character hcs with chiaki morisawa
sfw nsfw under read more
i had to make a header this is kinda fun might do thus more ofennbfyhhn....
sketch info: sex, just headcanons i guess!
SFW SECTION STARTS
chiaki morisawa is passionate, very passionate about things he likes, and he likes you! puppyboy chiaki would be way worse, too. He talks about you like you're a virus, in a positive way, of course, and he gets really touchy cause.. yknow? He's also a really big pda guy, holds your hand, kisses you, pets your head, and enjoys taking you out on dates n stuff... yeaaah.. there are no sad moments with this redhead or brunette.. i dont know what he is, but he is a great boyfriend!
this boy is a crybaby. it's horrible. whenever he's happy with you, tears, whenever youre sad, tears, whenever youre angry with anything, tears! its cute, and you can tell hes being sincere with it. chiakis spirit is so endearing and it encourages you, but your heart gets as heavy as a feather every time he looks at you when hes proud of anything. his eyes shine so bright, like stars!
Dogboy chiaki's tail is constantly wagging, no matter what. around you or the other group member, it's really funny cause when he hits his tail on other things, he jumps and is like, "What? huh?" and then keeps doing it, hes just so happy! and i know hes a smart guy, taking care of you and literally forcing you to look up to him. feels kinda... hot? idk lol, but when you flip it around on him and do things for him, Again. forcing HIM to look up to you, he feels so loved but so confused lol!!!
takes you on movie dates, goes to the park with you and stuff, its cute AND THEN HE POSTS THEM ON HIS SOCMEDS SOFT LAUNCHING YOU😭 and baseball games are a must with him, he introduces you to so much new stuff and its amazing AND THE INFO DUMPS ARE CRAZY.
but there are some times when his self-esteem gets low, and he NEEDS you there for him, He'll ask first, though, but he knows he doesn't need to. because you love him. reassure the sweet boy and kiss his forehead
i dont know what else to add im too focused on dmnd stream, sorry!
NSFW SECTION START...
Chiaki is definitely passionate, can't you tell? his eyes look like they've got fire in them when he looks at you, he will bite your lip every time you kiss, yes hes a loser, no hes not bad at sex.
While he fucks you, or if you roll that way, if you fuck him, he needs to be so close to you that neither of you can think. his smile is so charming while doing it, it feels like hes teasing you. speaking of teasing, i feel like he would rile you up on purpose, just to get a reaction of some sort out if you. pinching your nipples, nibbling at the shell of your ear.
and he has some embarrassing habits after sex, i feel he would say something stupid to lighten the mood, or end up talking to himself.
he overworks himself, and whos there to take care of him? you. somnophilia is also a yes with him. use him or have him use you, fuck him to sleep!
toys are one of the things he would use on you, or you would use on him very often. subby chiaki cries easily and cums so messily whenever you tease his cock. speaking of dick, haha.. his is thick and slightly longer than average n his balls are heavy, so full :v + hes uncircumcised.
puppy boy chiaki is even more enthusiastic about sex because he wants to make you feel good, yknow? He's uncontrollable, humping your thighs to get off while you're busy, making you suck him off even when you're busy, but i know he's doing his best. he holds your hand whether youre fucking him or hes fucking you, either way, hes still feeling good. tug at his tail n he's just gonna melt, chiaki gets submissive very quickly with you and jus wants to take care of you rather than you take care of him. he gives up easily though!
and im giving up right here, i gotta keep drawing enstars bodies
sorryyy im getting sleepy!!!
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i loveeeee your kal and auri headcanons can you do some more
yes ofcccc 😛
auri talks in her sleep! usually its just incoherent mumbling but occassionally it'll be clear enough to be able to make out a name or a place and it scares the living hell out of kal
i feel like kal would take very tiny petite steeps. like he would just be so lightfooted, which means he unintentionally sneaks up behind auri alot
he just cant help being so naturally sneaky & quiet :(
i also feel like he enjoys doing taxes or those really mundane domestic activities like going to the dmv or grocery shopping
this is also why he is cannonically a housewife
auri looooves those rock candy things that look like colorful crystals & will chomp through them like nobody’s business
kal can always tell when shes had a rough day at work because hell come home and hear incredibly loud, ear-splitting crunching sounds coming from the pantry
one time auri was feeling silly and slapped his ass as a joke and he was so incredibly confused/betrayed/scared/bewildered that they simply did not discuss it until months after the fact
auri WAS in fact at the top of her class in all 17 schools she went to, was one of the youngest chosen for an incredibly competitive STEM program (Octavia), and probably has published work on photogrammetry or smth but can the girl spell “restaurant”? no she cannot.
kal doesn't really understand gum
they do that thing where couples paint/draw eachother and then flip the drawings around at the same time but auris is like a stick figure with abs and kal's is this beautiful work of art (auri thought it was a prank kinda thing . . . it was not)
kal HATES post it notes, more specifically the bright yellow neon post it notes
however auri puts them up all around the house to remind her abt stuff she needs to do, and kal feels so bad for not liking them when she does that he fully doesn't tell her about his neon yellow hatred for like. 5 years.
id imagine that she kinda drops the habit and then puts one up one day & he sighs and is like "i've always hated those" without realizing that he said it out loud 😭
THATS ANOTHER THING kal like monologues out loud i feel like he would subconciously pick it up from auri who will give herself little pep talks and stuff
so he goes around the house muttering to himself its kinda endearing if you think about it?? also kinda very creepy
kal has never seen snow, syldra was too warm for snow to ever fall except for some around the poles, so he's terrified the first time him & auri visit her family on terra and it snows
she has to hold his hand and make a path infront of him with a shovel before he'll even step outside
both huge fans of spicy food
im gonna make another post just abt their wedding/kids but i hope this will keep yall fed untill then !! thank you for the ask! this was reallly fun to do <3
#aurora cycle#kaliis gilwraeth#aurora jie lin omalley#kal x auri#the aurora cycle#aurora jie lin o'malley#aurora's end#aurora rising#aurora burning#kaliis idraban gilwraeth
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for the rarepairs:
hear me out, Haley x sandy, they just have so much potential omg.
also another ship that has been on my mind is robin x Haley, I don't even know why.
After getting this ask I edited my masterlist post to specify only one ship at once bc these posts would be way too long otherwise, so Im glad someone else asked for Haley x Sandy so I could answer both of these! Check that one out here for the first part of your question.
Haley x Robin
Making Haley a homewrecker smh lol
I'm wracking my brain rn trying to think of when they would literally ever even cross paths, Haley doesn't even go to the saloon. They have no reason to speak to each other. Haley doesn't hang out with Seb or Maru. She wouldn't need Robin to build anything.
Ok mind is taking me to Robin's friends. The aerobics class. And they gossip outside all the time in the square. Ok ok ok getting somewhere, I think.
Haley has another fight with Emily about not pulling her weight and how she has to grow up and do something with her life. In an effort to prove that she can be mature she joins Caroline, Robin, and Jodi outside to chat thinking its gonna be boring as hell but it's NOT.
It starts out that way. Boring and awkward because the women aren't sure how to be around her at first. Jodi asks Haley if she's doing anything for work and that goes about as well as expected. But Robin asks about her photography and Haley lights up, talking about how she got a new lens that can take macro photos of flowers and insects and she's having a great time with it.
Things are less tense then, and the ladies end up gossiping, and it's actually kind of fun. Robin is the coolest of the bunch, Jodi talks the most but she's so judgemental (which can be fun in small doses but gets old) and Caroline is the quietest and most high-strung. They invite her to aerobics class and she gives a noncommital answer.
But she keeps joining them outside to chat, and it's nice. She doesn't always have much to say but Robin at least always engages her, and she finds herself gravitating towards her. When Caroline brings out teas for all of them, she feels really included and adult.
She joins them for aerobics and its the first time Haley starts to consider she might have a thing for Sebastian's mom. Not only is she fit as hell (those carpentry arms go crazy) but she's silly and fun and gets Haley dancing around without doing any particular moves and just vibing. Haley's got heart eyes for her by the end of it. Watching her leave, she decides to jog up next to her, asking if they can walk together since she could go for a walk in the fresh air to wrap up the workout. Robin obviously accepts and they finally have a moment to talk alone.
When Haley asks her where she learned to dance like that, Robin laughs. She got around in her day. It turns out, a young Robin was quite similar to Haley. And it's easy to believe. She's still gorgeous, and has this sort of effortless cool girl energy that has only gotten mellower with age.
Conversation flows as they talk about their exploits, and the walk ends too quickly. The lake near Robin's house is beautiful, and Haley suggests she might have to come take some pictures up here sometime. It's only a little stretch of the truth...
Haley continues to meet with the women of the town, actually beginning to feel more mature. She's inspired to start looking into college courses. The aerobics class is the highlight of her week, because she gets to let loose. Afterward she makes a habit of walking Robin home, sometimes even challenging her to a race, and Robin even feels a little younger for it.
Sometimes she comes across her when she is up on the mountain taking pictures, and Robin invites her in for lemonade.
On one occasion taking pictures of a nesting falcon by the lake, Robin storms outside, slamming the front door behind her and stomping into the woods. She doesn't see Haley at first, and crouches behind a tree with her head in her hands.
“Robin?” Haley approaches hesitantly, stowing her camera.
Robin starts with a sniffle, quickly wiping her face. “Oh! Haley! Hi, you surprised me.” She clears her throat.
“What’s wrong?”
“Oh,” Robin shakes her head and waves her away, “Nothing, I’m being silly.” She sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. “I don’t suppose I can convince you to just forget you saw this?”
“No, what’s wrong? You know you can talk to me.” Haley sits next to her in the grass, giving her an encouraging smile when she looks at her again.
“No, it’s… adult stuff. Nothing I should be telling you.”
Haley is a bit hurt at that. Robin has always treated her like an adult, encouraged her even, when she felt like she wasn’t mature enough to handle what life through at her. “Are you saying I’m not an adult now?”
But from Robin’s perspective, how are you supposed to explain you can’t vent about marriage trouble to a girl your son’s age. It wouldn’t be right. She sighs. “No, Haley, that’s not what I’m saying, I’m sorry. You’re right, and we talk about adult stuff all the time, this is just… this is personal.”
“We talk about personal stuff all the time, too,” Haley encourages.
Robin looks down at the grass for a beat, thinking. “Just… marital stuff. Marriage… shit. Arguing.” She growls and put her head down on her bent knees.
Haley scoffs. “Boys.”
It makes Robin laugh and lift her head again. “Except not, since, you know, adults.”
“Boys never mature,” Haley shot back snidely, to Robin’s amusement.
“I’ll give you that!” And then she’s quiet again, chin resting on her knees now to look out at the lake in reflection. “Don’t get married, Haley,” she murmurs. “And don’t get stuck here. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you.”
“And you don’t?” Haley asks right away, catching Robin off guard.
She lifts her head to look at Haley again. “Well… no, I don’t think so. I’m stuck.”
“Um, excuse me, who are you and what have you done with the badass woman I know? From where I’m standing I feel like you could do anything you wanted.”
“That’s really kind of you to say, Haley,” she responds with a sad smile.
“I’m not kind. I don’t say things to be kind, I say them because I mean them.”
Robin’s smile widens. She’s always liked Haley’s spunk. “I know. Thank you, anyway.”
“Why did you get married?”
She sighed again, her smile dropping. “Being a single mom is so hard. Don’t do that either, by the way. I actually… I would’ve been happier, I think, if Demetrius was alright being my boyfriend instead. I didn’t want to get married again, but image is so important in small towns, you know? And especially with young kids it just makes life easier.”
“You don’t have young kids anymore. And you don’t actually strike me as someone who gives a fuck about her image, no offense.”
Robin is quiet again for a while, mulling over her words. “You’re right.” She stands and Haley follows suit. “Sorry again you had to see this.”
“Don’t apologize.”
“Okay,” Robin huffs a chuckle. “Thank you?”
“You’re welcome.” Haley smiles, and Robin suddenly reaches out and hugs her tightly. She smells like sweat and pine and wood shavings and Haley wants to burn the feeling of her flannel into her skin.
Haley wraps her arms around her waist, her face in the crook of her neck, and squeezes her close, and suddenly the air has changed. It doesn’t feel like a platonic hug anymore. But neither of them are letting go and it’s gone on a second too long.
Haley clutches at the back of her flannel. Lifts her head to be level with Robin, cheek to cheek. She can hear Robin’s shallow breathing.
“Haley…” Robin says hesitantly. Almost a warning, if it wasn’t dripping with a breathless lust.
Haley pulls back, just enough to kiss her.
Nyaha chew on that lmao pls note I do not hate Demetrius/Robin in any way I think theyre good together but you see how the asks force my hand! I only do what the little anon faces ask so nicely for me to do
Send me any Stardew Valley rarepair and I will tell you how I would make them work! (Even non-marriage npcs) If youre lucky you may get a mini fic out of it. Check the list below to see if Ive already answered yours
Rarepair Masterlist
#stardew valley#sdv#answered asks#send asks#fic writer#ao3 writer#rarepair#shipping in the valley#rare ship#rarepair challenge#ficlet#fic idea#lily speaks#sdv haley#sdv robin#haley x robin#robin x haley#stardew haley#stardew robin
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Regarding being "cancelled"
Im not gonna address this further unless anyone needs clarification or something cuz its just drama with random ass kids who I'm not interested in interacting with
Some people dug up a fuck ton of old screenshots of shit I said in my server a year ago. Not gonna deny saying any of that, cuz I did say it, and I've said worse, and if you've talked to me at all I am always very open about this stuff.
In the screenshots I made jokes about disabled people and said I don't care if someone is a Nazi, because at the time my server had like no rules, everything was free reign (which is now changed). This is because I did not care if someone was disabled or a Nazi. It kinda comes hand in hand with ASPD, not caring unless it directly effects you. This does not mean I condone or support the things I joked about*
If you don't know what ASPD is, it's antisocial personality disorder, its characterized by "disregard for peoples rights and feelings". The reason I was even diagnosed in the first place was because I fit the criteria of crossing moral boundaries, disregarding peoples feelings, and not fitting into social norms. I was VERY bad with that in the past, especially a year ago when I was 18 years old, very deep in drug addiction, and didn't have the support system I have now.
If you want to judge me based on my past mistakes and actions, I can't control you. I don't expect anyone to like me, but I do care to get my side out too. I post here because I have fun, not because I care what people think. And if you judge me from shit I said as a drug addicted horribly mentally ill 18 yr old, then that isn't my problem.
Love the label, hate the symptoms yeah?
I don't like apologizing for things I'm not actually sorry for so this isn't an apology. I know I've said a lot of jarring and rude and fucked up things in the past, but if you know me at all then you know it never came from a place of hatred. To me, as someone with ASPD, its about proving that things like societal rules and norms aren't going to be another thing that controls you, so you just ignore them completely. This is what makes it a disorder. Cuz it's irrational and dysfunctional and causes problems like this
Also they vaguely mentioned me abusing someone who's borderline which is ??? because all the relationships with borderlines Ive been in had been very unhealthy on both sides. My mom has BPD so I know how to help those with BPD and Ive always tried my best to cater to BPDers symptoms and issues, even in the relationships where their condition got too much for me.
But yeah, I made mistakes in the past, and I'm not that person anymore, or at least I try hard not to be. I've been sober for almost a year, I have amazing friends and a good support system, I'm on medication for my bipolar disorder. Judge me from the past, but anyone who talks to me now knows that I work very hard to get over those mindsets and habits. To me, thats all that matters.
Edit: Not blaming my disorder, its just easier to explain. I'm taking full blame for what I said in the past, and I acknowledge that it was morally wrong. I said what I said. These people have been absolutely hellbent on being on my ass for months now when all I want to do is just chill out, get better, and live life. Theyre gonna keep complaining about everything I do, and I don't care to make any more edits, just wanted to clarify that Im not making excuses. Also I don't support Nazi's, I just made jokes about it. Anyone who knows me knows Im very against that shit
(I dont mean to sound callous or whatever, I just woke up to this and wanted to quickly clear shit up before it all blows out of proportion)
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12, the whole gang. would love to hear every head canon you have tbh!!
oh gosh thats gonna be a lot. im gonna be excluding anything that would make this blog more personal or less tame than i want it to be but you really arent missing much there
well. first and foremost UNFORTUNATELY its a hc that im a joyce kelly truther. shes so unbelievably transfem to me at this point its hard to see her as much else. genuinely forget its not canon sometimes. oops
i also must say all of @pariskim's joyceverse tag is canon in my mind and i really recommend you go through it even if you dont see joyce the same way i do, genuinely some of my favorite fan content to consume period. yes i am also sending you over there to become a joyce truther. go.
honestly if mac and dennis could be responsible pet owners (theyll never be.) i think theyd LOVE having a snake. i know theyd go for a ball python because theyre more stereotypically "snake" than some other pet trade species, but frankly i think theyd do best with a hognose. theyre pretty social (with humans. dont keep hognoses together in a tank) idiots with huge attitude and they look god damn adorable. hognoses would also be great for them because they tend to be more food motivated! its also good for snakes to just take them out and like. set them on your bed n just chill or talk with em for an hour or so. thatd be great for mac.
i personally think that mac will only hook up with you as a fellow man if you a) can pass as older than him or b) look like dennis. yeag i think he, consciously or not, goes for people that have similar traits to dennis, physically or personality wise. if dennis let himself accept that he cares a bit too much about who mac is dating, that little fact would single-handedly make macdennis canon. dennis would tell mac to just date him if he wanted to date him so badly
not entirely a headcanon but i imagine almost all of the gang besides maybe frank has methods for getting dennis to regulate his diet a bit more instead of eating like 1 meal a day. i think mac can get dennis to eat or drink just about anything by just giving it to him in conversation. he'll just let dennis talk his ear off and continually hand him chips or fruit or even drinks or nearly any drug at all. having a small bite or drink or hit during conversation is such a reinforced habit that its natural to the both of them now.
i think dee does it by purposefully playing into her status of being "below" dennis. she'll complain about being too weak to open a peanut shell or something and he'll snatch it and do it to prove hes better and out of habit maybe has a little bite. though i imagine if theyre inebriated in any way its as easy as genuinely just feeding it to him. dennis will never admit it, because he hates his sister, but he trusts her.
joyce i think can get dennis to eat just by getting alone with him. she provides a bubble of decompression and a lack of worry for him. its also insanely easy for her to just offer dennis a huff of whatever inhalant shes been having fun with that day and i imagine that makes things easier as well
i think you could pretty easily get mac into nerd shit. just have some pretty boy be a little nerdy. get him to watch star trek itd be life changing for him even if i think a good amount of it would fly over his head at times. ttrpgs and roleplaying in general i think would be big for him
also bringing back my hc of him joining the philadelphia gay mens chorus ohhhhhh my god i need him to sing more i need him to embrace his love of singing
unngh thats not all of em but i my brains starting to lag a bit here. ill happily rb this post with more and make it a sorta masterpost for hcs eventually
#kats iasip hc post#for the people trying to avoid spoilers dont look at the joyceverse stuff but this post doesnt actually contain any spoilers so im not#gonna tag it as such. but be warned#iasip
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Ranting anon is actually v interested in ur new au- so they are gonna make a lil list of questions-
Do any of the dudes have a specific thing abt their design that's special to them and like actually has a lil meaning
Does splinter particularly dislike anything about each of them
How often do you think they'd go out together
Do any of them have specially unhealthy and noticeable habits
Who's the quietest and loudest
Who spends the most time alone or with others
Who do u think is more willing to go out in public
Do any of them have a specific interest they can't seem to shake
Fav water brands (bc there is a difference! Nirvana and Aquafina SUCK!!!)
that's all for now :3 have a good day, drink some water, treat urself, don't forget to go outside every once in awhile <3 <3 (I am not rereading this so sorry for any mistakes, brain is still taking a vacation)
HOHOHOOO IM GLAD YOURE EXCITED CAUSE IM V V EXCITEDD
I'll go one by one for the first one ( they don't have super special meanings or anything, just things they like )
Leo ofc has his stars! He just really likes space and the star motif is super cute!! He also has his scarf, its just got all their colors on it - he sewed on the little bits himself.
Mikey likes to make bracelets and has a MASSIVE collection, so he's always wearing em.
DONNIE HAS A TOOLBELT!!! It holds all his stuffs!
Raph has his ripped pants - which he wears exclusively to spite Leo. Also has some dogtags that he found on the ground and decided he was gonna keep forever ( for funsies )
I think Splinter probably thinks that Leo is too...irresponsible? He expects a certain degree of responsibility that Leo doesn't really hit. He also is transphobic :)
For Mikey he definitely seems to blame him for things that aren't his fault. On the other hand, Mikey is also very messy, hates doing chores and Splinter can't stand that.
Same sort of thing for Donnie, but much less so. Excuses it away with compliments and stuff. He is the favorite child after all.
For Raph its like he doesn't even know he exists. He barely talks to Raph or really??? Worries about him?? He's just overlooked due to being the same age as Donnie ig
They go out together all the time! They usually end up arguing, but its always a lot of fun! Sometimes Raph n Donnie stay at home, but almost always its all four of em. Raph and Mikey also go out on their own ( separately ) a lot.
Uhhhhhhh I am actually gonna hold off on answering that cause I have a comic I wanna make about one of Leo's habits ( tee he its just one of my habits but anyway ).
Raph chews on his mask tails. Not really unhealthy but def noticeable. Mikey chews his nails like so so bad. I'll add more when I think of em :)
Quietist is Donnie for sure, Raph is the loudest. Mikey is the second loudest. Leo can be loud if he needs to.
Leo spends the most time alone, he doesn't really have much going on as far as a social life. Raph has a lot of friends and that's usually who he's hanging out when he's out.
Raph is the most likely to go out in public. Sometimes its to spite Leo and sometimes he just wants to go hang out in the city. Occasionally he'll drag Mikey out with him.
Leo has been into space since he was a kid and he hasn't been able to shake it since, Mikey n Raph ofc have their art. Donnie has his tech. The last three are more like just huge aspects of their personalities at this point. Mikey has been watching Project Runway nonstop for like 2 years ( Leo got him into it )
I don't know any water brands- Raph and Mikey are the only two that actually drink water and I think they drink a store brand? Leo drinks tap water :) Donnie is eternally dehydrated
THANK YOU FOR ALL THE QUESTIONS I AM HAVING A BALL!!!
I feel a LITTLE bad posting about them so much when Kid Leo isn't over but its my coping mechanism <3333
Enjoy my rambles haha
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hmmm 3, 5, 6, 11, 14, 20, 22, 26, 38, 40 for the fun questions meme <3
ooooooo ok these’ll b inchresting :3
3- 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?
th lotr trilogy (duh), I Saw the TV Glow, The Last Unicorn :3
5- what made you start your blog?
THIS blog? suicide bait on my old blog :3
tumblr in general? a friend showed it to me in high school n i made one n my life was irreversibly changed lmfao
6- what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?
ATTENTION. double edged sword. like ok i try not to let myself care abt attention and try to be rlly careful now abt who i interact with but at the same time it rlly is validating when things Get Attention. some of my favorite fics have little to no engagement :( n like yea its not healthy to create FOR engagement (fast track 2 burnout) but its also like very disheartening to put time n effort n passion into sth only for it to fizzle out in the void
but whatever. ill make weird art forever
11- what do you consider to be romance?
THIS IS SO FUNNY 2 GET bc soooo much recently has made me reevaluate like. how I perceive this lollllll
anyways short answer: idfk man!!!!!!! close friendships n romance r incredibly cloudy in my mind cuz ive got a bad case of dogbrain!!
long answer is i just don’t quantify that stuff the way neurotypical ppl do :3 ties into th autism + nonhumanity. i also think cis ppl being attracted to me is gross lol. ideal romance for me is bein held n tended to like a noble knight tends their sword. I feel love like a dog feels abt their human!!! dogbrained!!! romance is being a guard dog, being a Really Good Boy but just soooo disconnected from like. idk allosexual/neurotypical quantifiers of “romance” for me lol
+ i don’t use th label rlly but im def somewhere on th ace spectrum lol like physical intimacy is only rlly “safe” conceptually when its completely disconnected from th realm of possibility. like thirsting over celebrities or like th knight i have a crush on. + cis ppl desiring me is rlly like.. ew 😒 don’t look @ me anymore man
14- what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?
UM. funnily enough im gonna do th Big Thing this summer :3 im going 2 th renaissance festival shirtless this year now tht im post op
s’gonna be scary showin off my scars but i rlly wanna go all out n celebrate finally havin top surgery. like im alive!! despite everything im alive n im happy ^_^ so cis people be damned, im gonna run around like a lil wolfguy for the first weekend!!!!!
20- favourite things about the night?
i love the moon :3
i also love how still n quiet things get
22- say 3 things about someone you love
ITS SO BRAVE!!!!!!!!! ITS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST GUY I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO PROUD OF IT FOR HOW MUCH WORK IT DOES TO BETTER OUR COMMUNITY N PROUD OF IT FOR PURSUING TRANSITION + CANT WAIT TO SHARE MORE TRANS JOY W/ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(hiiiiiii Ly hehe!!)
26- fave colour and why?
when i was a kid my favorite colors were neon yellow n neon pink :3 they still kinda are but now i usually stick to like lime green or bright red paired w black. forest green + dark blue r gr8 too
38- fave song at the moment?
DONT ASK ME TO PICK JUST ONE???????
here r some I’ve had on loop lately: Far Away (Roadside Ghost), Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl (Broken Social Scene), I’m Already Gone (Baroness), Sex for Homework (MSI)
40- any bad habits?
oh yea i have dermatillomania lol
it doesn’t rlly bother me to talk abt bc i think “gross” stuff like that deserves to be less stigmatized— my shoulders n back are COVERRRRREED in little scars + scabs
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well, i was gonna write a response to this reblog i got criticizing me for my stance on genocide/snowgrave AUs, but the person deleted their reblog (or maybe just blocked me) so i wasn't able to reblog it. i remember a few highlights though.
you sound like me when i was younger, "why are these aus so bad and don't contribute to the original i'm going to treat this like a serious issue as if it was an extension of canon"
don't tell people their shit is pointless
put your "no fun allowed" sign away and let people have fun
i don't mean to mischaracterize the person who reblogged, they were fairly polite despite being annoyed, these are just the bits that stuck with me from seeing it briefly, i don't have a very good memory.
so, to the person who reblogged me. if you still believe the things you said in that response, and didn't change your mind when you deleted the post, here's the response i typed out:
i feel like i should clarify, i don't want to tell people what they can and can't do. people can do whatever they want. im not an AU guy even when the AUs are good, but hell if i'm gonna stop people from having fun. if anyone takes my post as a "no fun allowed" sign then i'm sorry it came across that way, and i sincerely hope that you don't feel like your hobbies need the approval of others to be valid, because they absolutely do not. your hobbies are valid and your enjoyment is all that should matter. as for the post itself, i dont mean my question rhetorically. i am genuinely curious, so if anyone wants to tell me why they like these AUs, i'd gladly listen! when i go on to talk about what i think is wrong with them, that's not me saying these things are bad and you shouldn't like them. it's me saying i don't see the point, and explaining my view of these sorts of aus. i suppose i have a habit of phrasing my opinions as though they are facts, and that's more of a general issue with me and i apologize. i usually tend to speak like i'm writing an english essay, lol. and as for aus on the whole, maybe i'm wrong to think about it this way, but i feel like at least for me, fan work should build on or contribute to the discussion around the original work. i'm not the kind of guy who likes to play with the source material and characters as though they were toys. i tend to think about things kind of rigidly, and view the source material as almost like a machine, with every given piece doing some kind of job to make the work function. when i create fanworks, i'm trying to understand and build onto that machine, to improve or expand its functioning. the problem, though, is that being such a rigid thinker, i tend to think that my way is the "right way." while i don't think other people are dumb or bad for doing it their own way, i can be a bit of an elitist in thinking that everyone should be doing it my way. i don't want to ruin anyone's fun though, i am aware that this line of thinking is wrong and i'm doing my best to see things other people's ways. all this to say, i'm sorry if my post came off as an attack on aus or people who enjoy them. all i meant by it was that i don't see the point of some aus and why i find them counterintuitive to the things i personally value in fanworks. thank you for being patient with me.
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"comfort for what? HAVING A BODY" you continue to be fucking iconic. like that entire rant had me CLAPPING but that part in particular was just oOOOOMF. that was it so like.... Gar x fat reader where Gar hugs her and his instincts go feral because feeling someone with extra fat on their body ignites his breeding kink?? like his animal brain is like "this is a wife. this is a wife who will bear your children and do it well. this is a plump, healthy body for your children. you're gonna fuck her brains out" and he gets a raging boner in what is supposed to be an innocent hug and has to excuse himself and wants to die of embarrassment and the reader is like INTRIGUED by him from that moment on but then he keeps dodging her and avoiding her because of his personal embarrassment
(set during s2 with a reader who is physically affectionate for no reason and would just give him a random hug)
thoughts?
I had to actually take a break when the words “breeding kink” showed up— LIKE THE GENIUS OF THAT ??? AND ABSOLUTELY HE WOULD AAAAAAAAAAA
Me reading this:
So,,, uhm things got a bit out of hand skskks and I talked way to much as usual so,,,
OKAY— so yes to everything you just said !! I can just SEE everyone’s in one the common areas (maybe a post training snack or breakfast, let’s say breakfast 🥴) and Gar’s standing with his back to the door talking to the rest of the group as the coffee machine does it’s thing and reader just walks up to them, greets everyone good morning and hugs Gar from the back, maybe rests her head either on his arm/shoulder so she can join the conversation OR on his back cause she’s just so tired and he just MALFUNCTIONS !!!
Everyone is still in pijamas and she’s not really wearing a bra, so he can feel her chest pressed up against him and hOMEBOY’S DOING FUCKING BREATHING EXERCISES IN HIS HEAD TO CALM HIMSELF DOWN !!! Whoever he was talking to — probs Rachel — goes “you,,, okay dude ?? you look,,, very intense in the face” and he freaks out, not thinking on an excuse quick enough and just BOUNCES “what?! 😧 Uhh yeah yeah im good,,, i just have to,,, i have to go now”
Also not to, once again, pull up my brazilian card BUT we have a habit of greeting people with a hug and a kiss on the cheek — it can be a real like kiss on the cheek or that like fake one sksksk where you touch the side of their face with your face and make a kiss noise KSKSKS most common to do that actually — my friends and I see each other every night in college but we still greet each other like that every time and less cause it’s the “polite thing to do” and more cause its a way to show we like each other and we’re close
SO— in my head, reader — who’s me cause,,,, who the hell else would she be sksksks — does that every morning. It’s a habit !! And when she asked the team if it would make them uncomfortable, to greet them like that, they said no !! So everyone’s getting a hug when she sees them, specially like the ones who don’t live in the tower the whole time !
And that’s fun in TWO different ways CAUSE
1. Gar really likes it and gets all weird about it later, cause the more times he gets turned on by her touching, the more innocent touches start making it happen too
2. POSSESSIVE ANIMAL INSTINCT BABY !!!! I hate — not really — to bring them into this BUT i feel like the ones who’d make Gar the more jealous of are -> Jason and Hank (stop rolling your eyes I have a nom biased explanation KSKSKSKS)
Jason is more of a logical jealousy, he’s hot, he’s their age AND he’s a major flirt/fuck boy sksksk even if it’s in jest or a friendly flirting when Reader hugs him or touches him, he’s still gonna say some bullshit like “i know im hot babe, but you really gotta stop touching me like in front of everyone” or “can’t keep your hands off me huh?” I desire him carnally
Hank is more of a — Absolutely One Sided — physical/animal instinct thing for suuuure. Like out of all the guys, he’s definitely an the closest thing we have to a Natural Alpha, he’s big, he’s strong, he’s agressive and dominant (not sexually but how he holds himself around other ppl) and Gar would just FEEL some sort of anger and jealousy when he sees Reader giving Hank any type of attention, even tho he KNOWS nothing’s ever going to happen (cause 1. Hanks not a fucking predator and 2. He’s very clearly with Dawn) — it definitely would NOT help if Reader let slip something about finding Hank hot/attractive, during a forced teens game night maybe? KSSKKSKS
She’d know RIGHT AWAY something’s off with Gar — cause she swears she saw his eyes turn green after a particularly Fuck Boy-ish quip got Jason a little slap on his arm/chest — he’s both avoiding her like the plague but also ALWAYS standing very close to her in social situations — on the off chance she holds onto him — so she’d up the antee completely -> push him til he breaks
And oh boy does he ever 🥵 Breeding Kink Gar is just supreme, I am not sorry
like I have personally a very clear stance about not wanting kids AND not wanting to experience pregnancy BUT IN FICTION ????? GIVE ME THE BREEDING KINK !! GIVE ME THE GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS !! THERE IS NO CONSEQUENCES TO MY ACTIONS !!!! LETS FUCKING GOOOO
#IT GOT SO OUT OF HAND#AAAAAAA#SKSKSKKS IM SO SORRY#idk if you sent this like is this a fic idea I’d be interesting in reading OR what do i think of this scenario#OR both KSKSKS#BUT PLEASE take it and RUN with it#I absolutely love ur fat reader content#i think thats how i found your blog in the first place#fat reader x eddie (or steve i dont recall now)#so i would DIE at your take on an absolutely feral Gar with a fat reader#now THAT — a character so fucking turned on by the reader and their body — is what makes me feel good about myself#seeing my body/body type as something desirable and not fee desired DESPITE my body#ALSO i fear i came off as a bit as an asshole by the end of the og tags SO i need to explain#the word chubby has been griding my gears specifically in that reader/fanfic context#not trying to eradicate the word as a whole SKSKKSKS#and it definitely DOES NOT apply to the word Chubbie -> not only different much cuter spelling#but ALSO i link that to you directly! that’s You; your blog; your handle; even tho that’s not ur actual name sksksks it IS to ME ur name#so my brain doesn’t even correlate the two#ik you didn’t say anything about that and you probably understood what I mean without me having to explain it like this#but i saw your handle in this ask and immediately went ‘oh no’ cause MAYBE idk it sounded like an asshole thing what i said#anyways fat reader supremacy#starbunnie
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do you have hcs about what your favs are like when sleepy?
HEHE OH THIS IS SO FUN i do ...... i love sleepy little guys . ok hello its next day valentine and i wrote a whole long paragraph and then fell asleepers and i dont wanna take fifty years to reply to asks the way i always do so im just doing jeddie and yvonne bc theyre my tippy top favs rn :3 im really into syd too rn but if i take the time to do a big research dive into eveery time hes ever mentioned sleeping im gonna fuck myself over bc i can Vaguely remember him having sleep habits of some sort that are brought up once or twice and if i dive into all that this is gonna take even longer to post!!!!!!!
i think jedidiah gets sleepy very quickly and easily but is kind of in denial of this fact . hes like an old man the second its like 8 pm hes getting sleepy but he forces himself to stay up until 8 am thru the sheer power of paranoia and freakishness anyway . he gets kinda sleepy mumbly he like tries to go on long rambles but its sort of incoherent and quiet . also i think he sleeps in the weirdest positions EXCLUSIVELY he cant sleep if all his limbs arent bent in weird positions and his head isnt tilted weirdly and his pillow isnt in the most hyperspecific configuration possible . also i feel like he needs a clock by him to sleep ..... he needs to Hear the ticking or he cant sleep . i also think he has a lot of rituals (sorry for ocdjedding i cant help it) abt checking to be sure sydneys alive and shit like that so he tends to like . practically fall asleep and then get very anxious and checky and then almost fall back asleep again and hten loop for a while before he properly zonks out
yvonne i think is very much the opposite she can stay up SUPER late . whenever theyd hang out w the above at night jeddied start nodding off in the middle of it and yvonned shake him up . i think they tend to snore and sleeptalk theyre Quite noisy when theyre asleep joshua is deeply annoyed by it but yvonne tells him 2 stop being a big baby . i think they get very grouchy when shes tired in the mornings they NEEED to wake up late and have had breakfast in order to talk to u or else theyre grumbling and glaring and making huffy noises about it . on the contrary i think at NIGHTS when shes sleepy shes very silly and chatty and they go on big rambles and enjoy cuddling up and things like that . tired vs sleepy ........ i think they also sleep Splayed About all over the place and i dont think they usually have a blanket they seem like the type to run hot to me ... goths who run hot i salute u . they can also sleep anywhere i feel like they can sleep in a chair or leaning against something or at a desk or standing up at any time if theyre sleepy they can just zonk out
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how DO alternates get attached, anyway? what does it even do other than make you not wanna kill people?
wish i knew bro it would make shit so much easier on me
but fr. its hard 2 really give a concrete answer bcuz us alts see attachment as like. taboo basically. if gabe catches you getting attached to a human it uh. its not pretty. other than the torture you get for disobeying Him you get like... exiled almost, or... whats the word He used once?
excommunicated. yeah that one.
there have been studies on attachment though, i think the u.s... uh... well idr the exact name but it was some fancy shmancy government dept thats done a couple . havent read em though LOL
anyways. ig i can try to explain as best i can from my experience w attachment . n atlas can chime in if he wants too idk and uh . ill try to make it make sense (spoilers it probably still wont lmao). this isnt a definitive like... guide or anything im basically just posting general rambles abt what ive learned over my days lol
so. i think all alternates want to be loved, no matter how far down theyve buried that want. were conditioned from creation to think that gabriel is the only one who can love us, but He wont unless we follow His command to the letter. and what that translates to is killing humans senselessly . and not only that but like. us alts... we like violence. we want to kill. its integral to our beings. none of us can really be "nice" or "good" 24/7 and that uh ... tends to sound scary to the average person . so even if we did all collectively decide to turn against gabe and humans like... magically forgave us for killing and kidnapping thousands of people, its not like we could ever be "normal" members of society. its not like we could ever be loved. so no one really bothers trying.
anyways, from what i can tell, alternate attachment happens when that kinda barrier between humans and alts gets broken (at least from the alt's perspective), and it typically happens when an alt is in close proximity to its assigned victim for a long period of time. that time varies from alt to alt too, like it deffo took a lot longer for atlas to get attached to cesar than it did for me to get attached to mark. nd i could be wrong abt this but i also noticed like. the more a victim interacts w their alternate, even if theyre doing it in a threatened or scared way, the more likely it is for the alt to get attached. "taking an interest" in a specific human is the most telltale sign of attachment, to the point that the phrase is pretty much "slang" for it among alts .
also just to clear this up: while alternate attachment can be romantic, it absolutely doesnt have to be. not at all. id describe my attachment to mark as like. familial honestly. and sometimes there arent even human words to describe an alts attacemt. its a spectrum yk? so dont think any of this is inheritly romantic or some shit cuz ill beat you up
as for what it does. well .
you dont know when u first meet a human that youre gonna get attached. i certainly didnt . so u just kinda do ur thing n shit, but sometimes it doesnt work and the human lives so ur like. okay ill try again . or maybe youre just doing a long job and ur learning all of ur victims habits n shit. and thats where it kinda begins
the first thing you notice is that like. even though its ur job to kill your human its like. its fun to keep them alive . yk . you grow to like the sound of em screaming in terror , or them freezing up when they see you . whcih. yeah that sounds kinda fucked to you guys but . just bear w me okay .
anyways. eventually it gets to the point where, even if youve been given several opportunities to kill your human, you dont take them cuz its just that fun to mess w em. this is kinda where the "taking an interest" thing comes in too . and then THAT goes into "ok wait . do i rlly have to kill them eventually ?? i dont want to do that theyre funny :(((("
eventually you realize that like. shit . i dont want this human to die at all. like. at ALL. to the point you'd fight off other threats just to keep them safe. and you get this just- rush of an emotion youve never felt before whenever youre around them. aand you realize. thats love. you feel love towards them, no matter what kind of love that is. its. it feels so wrong at first and- and you hate it, but it just feels so right to the point where you cant imagine feeling any other way about them.
and as you may have guessed. you start to see the human as your own. its kinda hard to really describe but,, it makes sense if you experience it. you need to protect them and love them and hold them so so close or else they might get away from you. and you change yourself so that you can be worthy of being loved back. its. ough its a crazy ass feeling for sure
this, uh,, doesnt come without problems thouugh. for one just cuz an alternates attached to a human doesnt mean the human necessarily likes them back. in fact its honestly really lucky that both me and atlas got attached to humans that actually didnt hate us. (for a while at least.) theres a fuck ton of rumors that get spread around of those who got attached and excommunicated, only for the human they were attached to kill themself because they couldnt live with an alt constantly following them around and trying to talk to them.
...i cant describe how lucky i am that mark came back.
not to mention you hafta constantly live in fear all the damn time cuz you could get discovered n tortured at any moment. its. its really shit but damn it if your human doesnt make it all worth it. damn it if you wouldnt endure any kind of danger just to stick with them. damn it if you dont want to comfort them and feel murderous rage whenever theyre sad and.
damn it if they arent yours.
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