#im not gonna main tag but like... do you feel me
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this is so real actually, lets talk about it
#also made me laugh fr. esp the 'welcome to the world lesbian nat'#mine#my talking tag#YJ posting#nat posting#will let this digest...#they r t4t#and its just like.. the whole theme of fucked up girlhood and shit of yellowjackets and the wilderness... IT MAKES SENSE#i once saw someone say something along the lines of (abt travis) 'hes just a girl!!!1!1' but like. to my knowledge. didnt actually play-#-around w/ an actual trans girl hc?#which is like#not surprising :/ since ppl LOOOOVE to say shit like that but REFUSE to actually see the character in question as a trans girl#but gosh... gosh... this has opened my eyes fr#i dont rly care for travis much . but god..#you feel me?#im not gonna main tag but like... do you feel me
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"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi the suckening#arthur bennett#HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT?#LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT#this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page.#but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT#ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH#WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW?#ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME#DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER#HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW#AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE#I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much....#AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game#but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping#DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds#I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors#what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012.#almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS.#only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE#while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs#THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN#WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS#the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess.#i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band#EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION
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hate being an artist that likes fictional characters i feel like everytime i post art of a character and tag it the people going through the tag absolutely hate my ass LOL
#like im sure this is the case with a few characters i draw alot#constantly thinking about how theres probably a shit ton of people that despise my interpretations or whatever#like yea i can do whatever i want but likeeee i still have fear of being judged like that in the back of my mind all the time .#even by the people i know#sorry forbeing a freak .💔#i haaate putting my art in main tags but i kinda have to just to make things easier to find on my blog ughhh#its always ''do it scared'' ''do whatever you want forever'' ''make weird art'' and then when i do i feel like I'm gonna have a billion#people side eye me like im a freak#UGHHHHsory#ill explode forever I guess
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hades art dump + some whiteboard doodles
#nep draws things#sketch#oh shit how do i tag these things. um.#hades game#hades supergiant#zagreus#thanatos#is that it. i think thats it. anyway if you follow my main blog youve probably seen my insanity over this game ^_^ i wanna get around to#drawing some of the other characters but i just. shrugs. theyre cool to me ok. i think ill draw uhhhhhhhhhhh persephone next maybe????#anyway i believe there should be more wholesome artists for this fandom bc some posts here are uh. um. Yeah. ^_^ < has seen the Horrors#watch me never post for this fandom again sasdfkjjskdfkj it feels so cold and empty. there is no life or warmth to be seen here.#ik ppl are there in the community but it doesnt Feel like other fandoms ykno. its scaryyyyy anyway im keeping to my main communities fornow#ANYWAY on a lighter note the gameplay is sooo addicting...... aourgh. i was also gonna say smth else but i forgot#posting this from my drafts before i go to bed lol gn
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How about that Ogerpon
Please read the tags!
#Hi its me! mod dox here#I wanna say that Im really sorry for the sudden disappearance of this blog#i promise we dont want to drop it (or at least. i dont want to)#we havent been back for 2 major reasons:#1. ive been Very burnt out. I just got a job and its made doing art a little difficult#plus post artfight burnout (plus i got SEVERELY injured during artfight)#and so ive been having to slowly train myself back into drawing so! thats why we got an ogerpon#2. i havent heard from mod tracker in almost a month and a half. i dont know where they are or what theyre doing#and i cant run the blog alone. so im sorry!#if worse comes to worst ill try to draw up the next update myself but im hoping mod tracker is ok! so. yea#ill be around if youd like to send an ask or what not#my main is doxilline-alien and my discord is doxillinealien so!#feel free to come over and talk to me. but ill also answer asks on this blog if you wanna send something here! i just cant update the story#so sorry about how informal this post is tracker is gonna kill me for fucking up the tag system/j#mod dox#ooc#lairmadness#ogerpon#teal mask dlc#side note i think ogerpon is one of my favorite pokemon now. little child. mine is name Mint
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Writing over 30,000 words worth of content for a fic only to realize it’s all pointless because you have no interest in it anymore and you were never gonna finish it anyway….
What even is The Point anymore
#current mood#it’s so joever#this isn’t even the worst part honestly#what really sucks is that this project was the last thing in my life I had any sustainable interest in and now that’s gone too.#now I have nothing. like#the fuck am I supposed to do??? get a new interest??? that’s fucking impossible#nothing hits like it used to and everything is just….bland….and SO MUCH EFFORT to get into#like hobbies are so difficult? and my old hobbies (ex writing) are becoming more and more toxic and like a chore rather than something fun#like writing at this point has become a battle of perfectionism and I’m fucking losing#what am I supposed to do. nothing inspires me. I have no interests. no hobbies. not many friends irl#and it’s not like we ever hang out because people are a fucking piece of work#either they cling to you like dog shit or they never respond to your texts no in between#im just so tired of existing??? and also college??? is fine but like#what the fuck am I DOING here like#why am I getting an art degree??? is this really how I should be spending my time and my parents money?#what the fuck am I gonna do for a job??? what do I WANT from a job???? I don’t even fucking know#i can’t see myself being happy in life doing anything and that’s such a nonstarter#it makes it impossible to start planning anything because I feel paralyzed with fear#and like I said….i don’t have any interests. I don’t LIKE anything. I am the antithesis of curiosity and interest like. there’s just nothing#i can’t do this anymore#im so done#idk why I made this so long but#I guess I have a lot on my mind I wanted to share#sorry for cringe posting on main it will happen again#im sorry in general actually for everything im sorry for being needy and attention seeking and annoying and flaky and never finishing any of#my fics because I lose interest and for not responding to anyone in my inbox I’m sorry#personal#cringe#cringetober#long tags
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Something I didn't really notice until replaying Royal but Ryuji really doesn't let the past hold him down? Like in the rank 2 scene he tells Akira that he doesn't want to focus on his past and he's more focused about the future.
I think that's kinda neat tbh he doesn't wanna let the stuff with Kamoshida or his dad drag him down, he just wants to keep going forward.
#not gonna main tag this lol#it's interesting idk i never noticed this before#look ill be honest with you all im specifically thinking about this in context for my au#i think the contrast between dont let the past hold me back ryuji#vs i will never escape my past and i cant bear the future riku is fascinating#ive been thinking a LOT about their friendship lately i wont lie#i think they could really balance each other out well#riku would just listen to ryuji talk about his struggles with his past if he needed it#and ryuji helps riku let go of a lot of his burdens regarding his and the groups past#riku is running away from the future ryuji is running towards it do you see my parallels#or is this me going “ive connected two dots. you havent connected shit. they're connected” or however that meme goes#idk i just think they would make great friends :']#it would make sense too considering captain arcana is the chariot equivalent of its deck lol so there's bound to be parallels#captain au#<- might as well tag it lol#idk if any of this makes like sense#because im refreshing a lot of what i remember from p5 with this playthrough#but i think ryuji's drive to keep moving forward is really cool and fits well with his arcana!!#ANYWAY DO Y'ALL GET WHAT IM SAYING ABOUR RYUJI jesus i feel like im tripping over my thoughts#but riku/ryuji (platonic mostly but romantic works maybe) is important to me....#hope my ramblings make sense to someone<3 live laugh love <3
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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tbh as a six fan i feel so bad for thirteen fans
bc there are a lot of thirteen fans who are willing to defend shitty writing and poor decisions bc thirteen's their favourite doctor and there's no other way to say she's their favourite bc thirteen has only been off the air for 2 years at this point. thirteen also has the bonus problem of being the first female doctor which means a lot of her criticism is clouded by misogyny and other icky incel alt right shit
meanwhile with six, a lot of his problems had the benefit of the wilderness years, big finish, the expanded universe, and even people looking back at his doctor and realising that there was some good in his episodes. a lot of his fans didnt become his fans until recently and even most of his haters are quite clear that they hate the writing decisions and not the actor himself
like until jodie gets some good material - maybe big finish? theyre doing fugitive doctor and dhawan master stuff that might improve the problems with those - a lot of thirteen fans are going to be clutching at straws and trying to figure out why they like her and how to say so in a way that won't upset the predominantly male fandom, as well as won't disagree with common and very bloody obvious criticisms of chibnalls era
#dnr#dni#this might show up in the tags anyway oops :(#my main issues with the chibnall era comes in the form of the writing#like there are some aspects of the story that makes me tear my hair out#why do we have three companions - two of whom are poc - when we're just gonna focus on the white man#better still why does the female doctor have three companions#better still why does only graham get characterisation#the entirity of kerblam is just one long hate crime imho#rosa is... fine:tm: but the line where yaz defends the police to ryan when hes understandibly#talking about his issues shouldve been cut out#tbh chibnalls idea of politics was basically 'lets present it all on screen front and centre and then never touch on it again'#good work gang hit the showers#now im not saying that you cant like chibnalls era#i personally dont like it and i feel like the bad writing has clouded my interpretation of thirteen as a whole#which sucks#especially as a six fan bc ive been in this boat before where ive seen people disregard him bc#'he strangled his companion!' in one episode#so its more of a i feel sorry for thirteen fans#and tha5min fans like you guys got hella queerbaited
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i just finished playing in stars and time the other day, and because everything has to come back to amphibia, im thinking about the calamity trio and timeloops.....
#isat spoilers in the tags#gonna ramble a bit in the tags but before i do that#isat is a really cool game that you should totally check out if its ur type of thing#and i wanna talk about spoilers#so consider this a warning#anyways. i keep thinking about specifically marcy and siffrin#the way that they both held on so tightly to their closest and only friends#how they were both so scared of losing those friends and the extremes they went to in order to make sure they wouldnt#but then also how all three of the calamity trio were so codependent towards each other at some point#how they all held so much fear - in some shape or form - of losing the others. of being left behind#like im very biased towards marcy so he's always gonna be my first thought#but also theres that one sasha timeloop fic that left a permanent dent in my brain#and theres all the sasha and siffrin parallels... how they both were so desperate for control#for some sense of agency. for security.#....i feel so bad about not adding something about anne#but. i'll be real. marcy and sasha are the main ones that are. in my brain. with this.#but uh. yeah#the isat brainworms. the amphibia brainworms. theyre plaguing me.#(i hope this doesnt show up in the main tags-)#j rambles#k.txt
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i need to sleep but im so fucking anxious god i wanna die
#literally so much depends on tomorrow. im gonna throw up#if i fail this idk what im gonna do with my life#i have no idea how to prep for anything theres no info about what they will ask or how it'll be graded#im so fucking nervous i. i dont know#if this fails me i literally dont know what else to do with myself anymore#i need someone to hold me#sorry if you read my tags this far please send. something cute. something calm. i dont know#i just feel like im gonna combust i have no idea how im gonna sleep#thankfully the interviews not before like 3pm but still. my sleep schedule is fucked as we know so yeah thats a factor#im just thinking about the worst. i shouldnt i know but. what if#what. if#night is an absolute mess on main
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'im gonna sleep' he lied
#snap chats#i love making the main text Bullshit and then putting the actual post below. ive said this before but idc its my art#its like... the main text is the title and the tags is the actual article.... does that make sense#i should sleep my eyes are heavy but im being tormented by concepts i want to execute#gotta apologize for all the arasawa posting as of late but ive been enabled#tbh on the lowest of keys i did post bout them on occasion in the past but. but now it's feel-speed ahead#twt has been driving me insane so i just need to hop aboard me other boat yk what im saying... please say you do i refuse to elaborate#for the sake of the people i wont but man if you know you know#anyways. the actual meat of this text post See All That Preamble Shit is meant to deter people. it is a warning#'i am bring cringe down here do not look. wait for it to be art so it's harder to ignore'#'snap i thought you didnt like sharing things if you were gonna do something with it' ok well the delusions are strong tonight#and im too tired to do anything and ill prob be too brain dead to do anything tomorrow LET ME SPEAK#ok cringe time. i just think jo gradually accepting physical affection can be something so personal and good SUE. me.#and when i say 'gradually' it will be ten years before he accepts it and even so it'll be quietly#i think by his 20's hes beyond flinching/wincing at random contact- or at the very least he's very good at suppressing the reflex to#more so if its not something like a handshake- like just casual contact- i imagine he's more confused than anything#i had friends who were obsessed with like. hugs and holding hands and those things always had me like ???#i imagine Same Shit for him ☠️ 'this isnt a bad thing but this isnt something im familiar with What Is???? this feels weird.'#im gonna make myself throw up thinking anymore about this. i be making these hardened yakuza men sweet and sentimental#twitter really is decaying my brain....#let me be worse. cause i hope arakawa introducing that sort of physical affection rubs off on jo. no where near the same level as arakawa#but itd be SOO funny if like.. jo starts walking close enough to occasionally bump shoulders with him#i hope when arakawa starts nodding off in the car and ''''accidentally''' lays his head on his shoulder he stops tensing up#heaven forbid jo even rests his cheek against arakawa. id be ill#Let Me Clutch My Pearls For This One i hope when they hold hands jo starts to hold arakawa's a lil tighter than he used to#just very /very/ little things like that. very little things that'll still make me insane I'M DELU-LU TONIGHT SORRRYYYYY#expect more of this bullshit but. in art form in the future. whether it writing or drawing idk i just need it#i need it injected right into my veins its my weakness your honor TAKE ME AWAY i AM guilty for making the scary gangsters cute#ok im pissing off fr now bye.
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youtube
uh oh! it’s Seven’s Dean Winchester Kinnie Hours again!
#cw vent#vent post#you know what that means! time to be cringe and obnoxious on main like it’s 2020 again! 😃#i’ve had this entire video memorized for years atp and every rewatch is just as cathartic. it doesn’t get old to me.#No Sam I’m not okay. I’m pretty far from okay.#Look. I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you.#For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about—I DON’T NEED IT.#This weight on my shoulders man I’m tired of it.#ig my only complaint abt the video is how the gun in his hand is cropped out of that clip. it added a certain Vibe y’know#People—people /pray/ to you.#Bobby I’m not even supposed to BE here.#l m a o couldn’t even finish making this post before i had to draft it and go make a sandwich for a man i hate. what a life. anyways#mf you didn’t ‘go to bed hungry’ u had fish for dinner and i made u a sandwich an hour ago. but i’ll make another one!!!#a n y w a y#I couldn’t save mom. […] I can’t even save a scared little kid.#I’m okay. I’M OKAY. I swear the next person that asks me if I’m okay—I’m gonna start throwing punches.#This—Inside me… I wish I couldn’t feel anything Sammy.#The things that I saw? There aren’t words. There is no ‘forgetting’. There’s no making it better.#impressive that i can recall that many lines with the absolute trainwreck in my mind rn. the Power Of Blorbo Hyperfixation ig#anyways enough quoting a random spn amv or whatever they’re called. i have shit to do#vent blogging#Seven’s Public Diary#i guess#no other organization tags bc i don’t want this in the fandom tags. im just venting and being cringe bc it’s all i’ve got left lmao#well it’s not All i’ve got but it’s one of the least destructive options#unless were talking destruction of my public perception but y’all already know i’m cringe and insane#god my head is fucking killing me. ok im done. for now. gotta go clean dog piss out of the carpet#Youtube
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WAHHH!! YOU’RE AT MIRACULOUS MANDARIN?!? I’m hoping you enjoy every minute of it 😋
— Pebalanon (came back with the milk)
Penalanonnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!! Haha was hoping you'd see this!!!! But yes, yes I am 😌 Somehow got extremely lucky with this being on my local orchestra's new season schedule! Seriously, I'm so shocked they're playing it, and it's just a mere few months after I learned about it and fell in love. Perfect timing!! Now if only they'd play the Leningrad Symphony......
#though as i said in my prev tags#its hilarious how many kids and old people are here#like uhhhhh my fellows. do you know what Bartok's music is like?!?!?!?!#tbh hes not the main event so i get it but#i cant imagine hearing this the first time w no expectations#im kinda sad tho cause i was hoping id be able to drag someone along w me for that exact reason#but alas. it is just me#BUT GAAAAAHHHHH IM GONNA DIE#i feel like im abt to have such adrenaline#ik this piece so well 😭😭😭😭#also penalanon dont be a stranger 🥺 i love hearing from you! feel free to drop by any time#catie.asks
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slams my head violently against the wall /neg
#the yapper#sighs.#gonna rant in the tags for a bit. (feel free to respond‚ i dont mind. i just need to get my thoughts out there)#also if you see any ships/characters censored its not because i hate them. its because i dont want them to pop up on the main tags !!#i fucking hate. hate hate HATE it when people shit talk certain design choices and ships and aus in the fandom#well. in any fandom really. but this is my ppt blog so this is what i'm gonna be talking about#but anyways back on track#i dont care if someone doesn't like something. thats the not the problem#the problem is when they don't like something and start being super fucking mean about it#i dont care if you hate d*ynap or p*ppyn*gs or oc x canon or tall c*tnap or skinny d*gday or [x] au or etc. i respect your opinion.#i DO care however‚ when you start being a dick about it. i dont respect you anymore when you call an au bad or shit when it doesnt feature#your favorite ship. i dont respect you anymore when you get mad at/disrespect an artist for drawing a character in a way you dont hc#or when you go under an artist's drawing to say 'cute.... but [x] is better ^_^' (boils my fucking blood. just say its cute or look away.)#or when you get mad at them for not centering their au around the ship you like. all of this includes when you do it behind their back‚ btw#i'm not asking anyone to engage with content they dont like. but good lord.#can you not talk about the stuff you dislike without putting them and the people who enjoy them down?? you sound like a jerk.#hrfhdg idk dude. it just makes me so angry and sad. please do better you guys.#sorry if this came off as too harsh. i'm just really sleepy and upset right now. so sick of this entitlement and these fuckass ship wars#it's so draining#im gonna take a nap and see if it makes it better#i'll also start drawing when i wake up !! sorry for anyone who was waiting in my askbox. my mind's just been occupied lately
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Actually turning off anons cause like most of the time i get anons they dont provide context for asking questions and i dont understand whats going on. Im neurodivergent and if i dont have a whole thing of context i dont get whats going on sarrey. And if i dont get whats going on i take it as an attack even though i suppose its not always intended, im too stupid i cant tell the difference sarrey.
#lodia sayings#i have stupid bitch disorder terminal and it makes me uninteractable tbh.#socially is the main way i feel disabled bc i feel like i never get whats going on or what ppl are talking to me about (or if they do i don#care a lot of the time. when its like small talk at work or something but whatever.) so anyway i never know how to interact.#i read something online the other day that said that a way autism displays in children is if they dont know if they should say hi or hello#they get stuck and dont interact at all.#and you know what real and still relevant at almost 28 yrs old.#like.#today years old i still get anxiety from having to greet ppl bc idk if im gonna time it right etc. or if its appropriate. sometimes ppl#glare at me and i feel like i shouldnt even be speaking to them.n#those are interactions at my WORKPLACE.#hell world tbh i wish i didnt have to be self depending so i could quit social interactions at work#i was watching videos from this person whos autistic and they cant work bc their quality of life is too bad when they do and i was like yea#well theyre disabled for real meanwhile me no bc i can hold a job.#but i realized they had the 'choice' in a way bc they can depend on their partner which i cant. meanwhile if i quit work i just starve.#nevermind that i dont know how long i can do it and my quality of life is atrocious n have a breakdown about it everyweekend etc. so i gues#yea thats where im at rn idk what to do etc. this person cant even get disability aid what chance would i also have like lol#long tags#sarrey..#btw i welcome asks interactions etc from my mutuals are they are beloved and interact w me in a way i understand n i feel ok asking for#clarification if not.
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