#im not even sure whats going on here tbh

[ganondoodle]

since tumblr always has to suffer my personal vents and breakdowns and rants and annoyances you get the most wips and pics of unfinished stuff, im sure that makes up for it

the (unfinished) shiekah arm concepts that made me want to explode and i dont think im gonna work on again

[instantpansies]

STRANGE NOISES FROM THE HOLE IN THE WALL HEADCANONS/INTERPRETATIONS UHHH OBVIOUS SPOILERS. CLARISSA CENTRIC CAUSE. HOLY SHIT

clarissa is to locomotion as clara is to the nutcracker. she's the kid who dreamed him into existence hundreds of years ago. i know he says he's older than the devil - i think that's still plausible, he's existed since thought but wasn't attached to the Silver Line or brought into physical existence until clarissa, lonely or in danger or just bored, imagined a world where she could escape from her everyday life and live as a grown-up(? maybe? since benjamin/timothy/billy seemed to age up as soon as he went through the portal?), with freedom and whimsy and eventually a relationship with the friendly driver.

why do i say this? because otherwise im really fucking confused lmao, that first scene where clarissa and loco are introduced is strange in the context of the end of the play. they seem to have known each other for a good while before they get on the train. they act like a young couple who's stumbled upon the silver line as an escape from danger and now they're excited for their new life in a new, safe world. except that loco also says he's been driving the train for years.

(looking back, that very much feels like a scenario from a child's imagination - or perhaps a dream - where of course he's been doing this for years, that's his job, but of course they're glad they've found the train together, this is a new experience for her so it's just an extension of her perspective)

but clara is, she says, a child when she gets on the train. idk how old "little girl" is, but if we run with this headcanon and also assume that the timeline is both linear and literal, she's imagining herself in some form of a sexual relationship with loco at a pretty young age.

i posit that this can be reconciled in several ways (some more disturbing or inappropriate than others), but one thing that could be considered is that the first scene where loco and clarissa are introduced is symbolic of their relationship over the course of the train's history. depending on how old clarissa was when she first dreamt the world into existence, she might not have even been very aware of loco, and spent her time just enjoying the escapism or whatever. after a few years or however long, she starts to get older and decides to learn how she's actually done this, maybe spends a long time trying to understand exactly what's going on. maybe her research leads her to a relationship with loco, i don't know. they do get on the train together, maybe, when they're both young (or, well, relatively speaking) and new to the world, and loco eventually has been driving the train for years and years and clarissa makes it a bit more tolerable with some companionship after a long lonely time. but those things don't happen simultaneously, because i think those things don't really work simultaneously. that scene is a sort of speedrun/amalgamation of how the two of them have interacted over the years. and yeah i guess that means they fucked at one point in there

(im going to be transparent, some of that is a bit of cope/rationalization. i think loco and the conductor are very exes/begrudging coworkers vibes, but i do like clarissa and loco together as well - unsettlingly powerful girl x eldritch being with a soft spot is a very good trope. and im trying to make it work out okay? give me a break lol. you don't have to agree with me on this, but once i see a luke and tom couple with a fun and compelling dynamic i will not let them go even if the ethics get a bit hard to explain later on. sorry, anyways moving on)

additionally, and i probably should have said this earlier, a reason i think this whole nutcracker theory holds up is because clarissa holds a sort of unique power in the world. she's been on the silver line for hundreds of real-years, who knows how many train-years, and still remembers her name and something of her old life. loco isn't hostile to her, even confirming her memory of her name and reminding her of her birthdate. with everyone else (ex. benjamin), he actively discourages them from remembering their lives. despite seemingly being one of the oldest passengers, she doesn't transform for hundreds of years. she obviously has some significance.

you know how that ties in? if this is clarissa's world, if her mind is what created the whole thing, then i think it makes sense to assume it's tied to her. as she begins to question her surroundings, then panic as she realizes she can't leave, her emotional and/or mental state becomes less stable, less utopic, less perfect. the dream begins to turn into a nightmare. and it becomes. well. an ouroboros. the snake eats its own tail and the train goes in circles and the escapist fantasy clarissa once loved becomes a prison of her own design. trapped in the very thing that was supposed to save her.

maybe that's why anthony and benjamin can get out when they do - as clarissa's world decays, as she finally begins to become part of the nightmare, as she melds with the train, the world has to shift a bit. it's reaching the point of no return - once clarissa has been fully sucked in, the train will never stop again. falling into an infinite nothing. but in that moment, there's one final chance for the conductor to stall locomotion, one final leap that could at last pull benjamin and anthony and everyone who's been sucked in by clarissa's black hole of a nightmare out of the portal and back into the real world.

and now, clarissa has lost three hundred years of a life that should never have lasted so long. gained perhaps thousands of years of memories of joy and connection and despair and panic and forever forever forever. and she is once again trapped in a vessel of her own making - her body is that of the child she has not been for lifetimes. her world is dead and gone - not just the world she created, but the world she escaped from as well. what of locomotion, that brief flash of connection? does he even exist anymore? who is she, now? who was she? where can she possibly go from here?

shoutout delirium_undead on discord for going along with the nutcracker theory and helping me flesh this out. your ideas are so galaxy brained and i am forever in your debt

[waitineedaname]

i know it's just the trope of like. one true love/soulmates/"never loved someone before this person" but I find it very funny that in writing that trope, mxtx accidentally made all her protagonists read as very arospec

shen qingqiu? whole essays have been written about how he is absolutely on the ace spectrum, and i'd argue he's on the aro spectrum too for similar reasons. he's like "damn it would be difficult to get a girlfriend as the scum villain" and then proceeds to not really give a shit about that problem whatsoever. he's completely clueless about the fact that people are falling love with him left and right, does not even consider romance an option until luo binghe straight up kisses him on the mouth. i think in general attraction for him is kinda muddy and it would be hard to neatly label the affection he feels for binghe as one thing or the other. i do firmly believe that if you plucked romance out of the equation, he and lbh would still be attached at the hip because their dynamic is a mess that isn't exclusively romantic

wei wuxian? the most demiromantic motherfucker i've ever seen. he knew lan wangji for HOW LONG before he realized he was in love with him??? he was very clearly obsessed with lwj from the start, but it likely started as "this guy is fun to provoke and I want his attention" rather than romantic attraction (as opposed to lan wangji who was attracted to him from the start and Very Mad About It) and I think it took wwx so long to figure out his feelings because it genuinely just took a long time for those feelings to develop from something platonic (and a little physical) to something romantic, and I think that development came about because he realized just how much he could trust and rely on lwj

as for xie lian, im only on book five, but so far my assessment of him seems to be that for 800 years he was like "this chastity shit is easy" and now he's suddenly experiencing attraction for the first time and he's like "whoa. okay. well I'll deal with that later once i'm done dealing with the horrors"

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[wildstar25]

MiqoMarch Day 18 - Snow

When your partner has been trained to strike from behind, it's best not to loose sight of her.

[crescentfool]

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

[liquidstar]

How is tumblr going to ban porn and then show me ads where two triceratops are straight up having sex

[jaffre]

doctor confirmed that 👉 this guy 👈 got pcos and i just got an implant to at the very least get my whacky periods under control and hopefully get them to stop entirely

[xxplastic-cubexx]

your origin story is so relatable i love it. as someone was too young to watch the original trilogy when it came out and didn't watch many cartoons or comics/superhero stuff growing up, by the time I got interested the MCU really seemed like the only worthwhile option around at first. and tbh I do commend marvel for making the avengers so fun to get into via the movies (even if the mcu doth get too much after a bit) because the more you learn about comics the more you realise that they're not the most compelling team (affectionate) in the first place so really good job. but anyway yeah had drifted into dc for a good few years and then I was shown the deadpool 3 credits (not the movie) and despite having no knowledge of the x-men, the backstage bloopers, the music and the beach divorce just really awakened something in me

i congratulate you on reading That Whole Mess i typed up thank you VJLEAKVJ BUT REAL... i actually remember catching my bro watching the first avengers movie with some friends and Vaguely getting interested then: even if i dont LOVE love the avengers now, i do thank it for being a gateway into comics as a whole :]

[science-lings]

The ratio of 'forbidden hospital scene' fics to 'medically accurate Phoenix falls through a flaming bridge into a death river and somehow everyone who could've witnessed it is under the impression that he died' fics is kinda sad to me, I thought ppl would've really latched on to the angst potential of that.

Anyway, I'm sure the second one exists but I just... haven't been able to find it bc this fanbase is like 22 years old and idek where to even look for something like that. Like I get the first one is gay inherently and I love it, but also... I think it's fun to see him suffer. I want someone who could actually realistically depict what could've happened and how crazy it is that he survived practically unscathed, or maybe he didn't and he's real fucked up about it.

[br1ghtestlight]

i can never take nickel and balloon's conflict fully seriously even if they make up and apologize to each other etc because the whole time im just imagining that comic of baseball and suitcase going back to hotel oj after season 2 and seeing that nickel and balloon are #besties now meanwhile suitcase had a psychotic break over their bullshit 😭😭

[indigodawns]

.

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Applied for a job and applying to community college. It feels weird. It feels like I'm 18 again, even though I'm turning 23 in less than a week. It feels promising though

[her-canine-teeth]

paper doll by flower face

[dexaroth]

his silver swag.. ⛓

ref is obvs a sketch and not the final design. the icon ended up with a smile thats a tad too forced but its hard to see in a small size so i dont care.. too much. I LOVE GREY!!!! 🖤���� plus a xor cameo bc they share similar design principles. almost like theyre my sonas or something..

[mistninja]

Save me luffy.... luffy... luffy save me from having a job