#im not even sure whats going on here tbh
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i know it's just the trope of like. one true love/soulmates/"never loved someone before this person" but I find it very funny that in writing that trope, mxtx accidentally made all her protagonists read as very arospec
shen qingqiu? whole essays have been written about how he is absolutely on the ace spectrum, and i'd argue he's on the aro spectrum too for similar reasons. he's like "damn it would be difficult to get a girlfriend as the scum villain" and then proceeds to not really give a shit about that problem whatsoever. he's completely clueless about the fact that people are falling love with him left and right, does not even consider romance an option until luo binghe straight up kisses him on the mouth. i think in general attraction for him is kinda muddy and it would be hard to neatly label the affection he feels for binghe as one thing or the other. i do firmly believe that if you plucked romance out of the equation, he and lbh would still be attached at the hip because their dynamic is a mess that isn't exclusively romantic
wei wuxian? the most demiromantic motherfucker i've ever seen. he knew lan wangji for HOW LONG before he realized he was in love with him??? he was very clearly obsessed with lwj from the start, but it likely started as "this guy is fun to provoke and I want his attention" rather than romantic attraction (as opposed to lan wangji who was attracted to him from the start and Very Mad About It) and I think it took wwx so long to figure out his feelings because it genuinely just took a long time for those feelings to develop from something platonic (and a little physical) to something romantic, and I think that development came about because he realized just how much he could trust and rely on lwj
as for xie lian, im only on book five, but so far my assessment of him seems to be that for 800 years he was like "this chastity shit is easy" and now he's suddenly experiencing attraction for the first time and he's like "whoa. okay. well I'll deal with that later once i'm done dealing with the horrors"
#mxtx#the length of these paragraphs is revealing my scum villain bias lol#i am here to be on brand!! I need to be aro about things!!!#grabs the bl genre. you are not immune to my aro beam.#idk xie lian as well as the other two but he's funny to me#he's been aroace for 800 years and then hua cheng shows up and he's like What Is Happening.#but he has to prioritize everything else going on#he's like that one tweet like ''im probably gay but the heavenly realm is imploding so idrc about that rn''#if i had to give him a label i'd say gray-aro#wwx is definitely demiro#sqq... im not sure. he's messy. i think just arospec is the easiest thing to say#tbh he could even be straight up aro but he'd still be happily married to binghe bc he loves him so deeply in other ways#he's complicated! shaking him around in a jar
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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MiqoMarch Day 18 - Snow
When your partner has been trained to strike from behind, it's best not to loose sight of her.
#miqomarch#miqomarch2024#ffxiv#g'raha tia#y'shtola rhul#wolgraha#wolshtola#y'shtola x wol#ffxiv gpose#arsay cant help but sneak and be silly#tbh arsay is really not a big fan of ishgard#for one its cold and shes not a big fan#thankfully shes got proper cold weather gear now which is what you see here#two: even though the fortemps gladly welcome her into their home she still just doesnt feel right being there#despite how long its been and even if shes sorta made peace with it shes always going to carry some guilt over what happened in the vault#BUT G'raha said he wanted to see it proper so she will bite her tongue and go with him#she'll just also happen to slink off and help the first person she sees after showing g'raha around the upper city levels#a mere coincidence surely#graha so handsome in that third shot imo#i know im biased but shhh#WOL posting#Arsay Nun
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having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!
#persona 3 spoilers#minato arisato#hc and au nonsense#lizzy speaks#happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳#i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at-#him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know?#and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^#something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls#you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations#and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4#and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are...#that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!)#the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES#objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written#but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently#specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship#it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc#it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but#eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses!#regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself-#into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here.#the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go#“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons#anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍#have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙
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How is tumblr going to ban porn and then show me ads where two triceratops are straight up having sex
#frankly these mobile game ads have also gotten just kinda disgusting and i feel like there needs to be regulations on them#i don't mean the dino fuck one it's not graphic but like#all the ones about those app women getting abused are out of hand like i keep seeing one where a guy cuts off a his wifes boob???#or where a lady is lactating or pissing herself or shitting herself#or even ones that imply straight up sa. like.#i understand. it's because it's shocking and drives engagement and ppl to make YouTube videos going woooaa weird ads but.#like. i don't wanna talk too much about them bc i don't wanna feed into what makes it effective but i just feel like#there needs to be somekinda standards here. the same way you can't just show whatever on tv advertisements#bc malicious advertising is an issue and there SHOULD be limitations to make sure this doesn't happen#not just bc it's gross but because it's underhanded and also false advertising! that stuff is straight up not in the app lol#it's usually just candy crush w extra steps#tbh im surprised no one has capitalized on actually making a fucked up gross game like that since there's clearly an audience#but still. annoying. sick of seeing them
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doctor confirmed that 👉 this guy 👈 got pcos and i just got an implant to at the very least get my whacky periods under control and hopefully get them to stop entirely
#i also have thought about how i was cared for today#i go to a free place that has rotating doctors so i didnt see the same one that told me to get a ultrasound of my ovaries + blood test#previous one was a cis woman and she insisted me having multiple cysts on my ovary (that was double in size to the other one) wasnt enough#(for a pcos diagnosis) so she insisted i redo my blood test on the 2nd day of my period#which i didnt realise at the time is dumb as hell cause my periods are so chaotic im not even sure when they start and when they stop#the doc i saw today was a trans doctor (using iel in french! love to see it) and after i explained my situation was like#well theres no point to check your hormones here since we dont have a point of reference#and your ultrasound shows you have multiple cysts in your ovary so thats pcos#then explained to me what that does to your body & all that its not dangerous per say but its good to monitor and take hormones to help#and i said i was already considering the implant to stop my periods and they said that can be arranged today#told me the other alternatives and the risks associated with the implant but tbh my choice was already made#i mean of course idk how much cisness and transness has anything to do with this#but i had seen another cis doctor about my periods being whack when they started being whack#and he did an ultrasound saw nothing and was like “well nothing wrong with you” and that was the end of it#i definitely felt more comfortable and better cared for in the hands of a peer#(also i had to try three pharmacy to get the implant cause the other ones were out of it#walked way more today than planned but good day regardless!)
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your origin story is so relatable i love it. as someone was too young to watch the original trilogy when it came out and didn't watch many cartoons or comics/superhero stuff growing up, by the time I got interested the MCU really seemed like the only worthwhile option around at first. and tbh I do commend marvel for making the avengers so fun to get into via the movies (even if the mcu doth get too much after a bit) because the more you learn about comics the more you realise that they're not the most compelling team (affectionate) in the first place so really good job. but anyway yeah had drifted into dc for a good few years and then I was shown the deadpool 3 credits (not the movie) and despite having no knowledge of the x-men, the backstage bloopers, the music and the beach divorce just really awakened something in me
i congratulate you on reading That Whole Mess i typed up thank you VJLEAKVJ BUT REAL... i actually remember catching my bro watching the first avengers movie with some friends and Vaguely getting interested then: even if i dont LOVE love the avengers now, i do thank it for being a gateway into comics as a whole :]
#snap chats#good morning dimmsdale !!!! i dont have any quirky add on this just a pleasant good morning for once#ngl the deadpool credits were super sweet even if i had. NO clue who i was looking at at the time#the vibe was just there and yk what .. it holds up..#the xmen movies are such a delight to rewatch and i neednt go into the BTS clips theyre all so silly#god in retrospect if id known what the hell Beach Divorce was im pretty sure i woulda thrown up cackling in the theater#GOD ... oh well !!! i know now and so now im happy to cackle about it with you lot these days :] or cry whichever is appropriate at the tim#the mcu itself Did get exhausting after a minute like I Tell You i only went because of my brother for a reason#i didnt HATE watching these movies but it wasnt my priority yk#im glad i got the excuse to go through my bro tho because Again it did eventually plant a seed of interest in my brain#and now we're here :]#BUUT id be lying if i didnt say the first few mcu/avengers movies werent a blast ...#the iron man movies are still p good if i may be so tbh .. been YEARS since i seen them but i still remember them fondly..
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The ratio of 'forbidden hospital scene' fics to 'medically accurate Phoenix falls through a flaming bridge into a death river and somehow everyone who could've witnessed it is under the impression that he died' fics is kinda sad to me, I thought ppl would've really latched on to the angst potential of that.
Anyway, I'm sure the second one exists but I just... haven't been able to find it bc this fanbase is like 22 years old and idek where to even look for something like that. Like I get the first one is gay inherently and I love it, but also... I think it's fun to see him suffer. I want someone who could actually realistically depict what could've happened and how crazy it is that he survived practically unscathed, or maybe he didn't and he's real fucked up about it.
#I've only been here for like a year and a half but I haven't seen a single fic speculate about what the hell even happened once he fell#like how did he get out of the water? how bad must he have looked for everyone to think he was a goner?#I know it's always like 'oh larry must've been dramatic over the phone to edgeworth' but what if he wasnt#what if he was pretty sure Phoenix was dead or dying with little hope that he would pull through#the only larry pov fic i would read tbh#imagine the one friend that has stuck around through thick and thin dying in front of you right after learning the one person who actually#-believed in you was just murdered like that's so... i accidentally made myself sympathize with larry oh no#anyway im going to forget about the 'medically accurate' part and put my ideas for this in my Phoenix!Phoenix AU bc I have to explore it#i always go back to the best case in the trilogy... turnabout goodbyes WHO#ace attorney#pheonix wright
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i can never take nickel and balloon's conflict fully seriously even if they make up and apologize to each other etc because the whole time im just imagining that comic of baseball and suitcase going back to hotel oj after season 2 and seeing that nickel and balloon are #besties now meanwhile suitcase had a psychotic break over their bullshit 😭😭
#regardless of what nickel did to balloon they NEED to apologize to suitcase for putting her through the Literal actual horrors#she's gonna come back to hotel oj see that they're friends now and start beating nickel's ass and i dont blame her even a little bit tbh!#i love nickel as a character but bro fucked up w/ suitcase#and bcuz she's stuck in season 2 purgatory there's no way for that arc to get closure right now so im just like#well we're all forgeting to apologizr to SOMEBODY arent we!!!#baseball too i wish i knew how to fix this. baseball you cant fix this it doesnt just go away but you're here you're listening so thanks :)#i mean im sure they've got their own bullshit going on in s2 right now not a doubt in my mind. nickel is not suitcase's most important issue#atm they're about to get killed by robots built for actual literal genocide FJDMDMDKSJS#txt#inanimate insanity
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.
#been sitting here for 1.5 hours now trying to decide if i should go see my friend as promised#or not. basically i texted earlier like heyy sorry can we do tomorrow im all over the place (mentally extra unstable*) i don't wanna#make you deal with that#but she said she might not be able to do tomorrow and she's told me she hates when ppl cancel bc so many ppl have been#cancelling on her and yk. feels bad. so i really should go but im also just. ???#idk what it was but today is just so not it ive been crying a bunch and barely working and i v much needed#my noise cancelling headphones on the train and then i just kept them on for 1#and then i just kept them on when i got home and ive just been on my bed scrolling and trying to decide dhsjsjdjd#yes i was supposed to work 8 hours today 💀💀💀#so that's the other part like if i go see my friend i know tomorrow will probably be rougher and i also need to work then yk#ugh anyways i should go we can just chill im sure#* headphone context for myself bc im just like 🤨🤨 am i just kinda sad and tired today or do i really need to rest#anyways. Thoughts? dhsjjdjdjd#other context is that my friend rly isn't doing good at all and i haven't seen her in a week and it's been#even longer since we could talk 1 on 1#like 2 weeks rip#maybe i just need food tbh ive mostly had sugary stuff today rip
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🍽️😔🎻
#soo blah blah need to vent again abt my health issue situation 💀#yuh so like im so sick nd tired of whats going on. nd not being able to just eat whatever i feel like whenever#it's emotionall draining tbh. im always thinking abt what i could maybe try nd im always like ohh gotta make sure the portion is small etc#it's annoying me sm bc i can def feel the effects of me not getting the right nd enough nutrients nd vitamins etc etc#i get dizzy nd my vision is hazy sometimes. nd im like forgetful bc the other the when i walked home i kept getting lost nd had to walk back#nd forth several times nd i was like ?!?!? what?! i've lived here for 25yrs nd now i just cannot for the life of me rmbr the way#also i am so weak in my body. like carrying even a small amound or books nd groceries nd walking for 30min makes me exhausted#my legs are actually shaking when i get back home nd every step feels like im walking in cement#plus i just wanna be able to go to the gym nd build muscle. but if i dont get enough protein in me i cant build muscles T-T#what else... yeah also i do miss food bc of comfort. like my coffee + chcolate everyday makes me genuinely happy lmao#but i just want the food situation to be normal bc even w veggies im like oh no that is too gas building that is too hard to digest etc etc#it's mentally gruelling to not know how tf to get all the important nutrients!! i def have several deficiences lmao :((#im so over it. but theres nothing i can do. i wish i could just not think abt it 24/7 tho#also. im the thinnest i've ever been BUT. i am constantly bloated so i look fkn pregnant. so i cant even enjoy looking the skinnier
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paper doll by flower face
#yellowjackets#jackieshauna#i started making this. like right after i uploaded isobel (finished yesterday but it was too late to put in on here lol)#meaning in not much time (so that's why it's probably not my best work)#realized i used the same scenes like too often on the third rewatch which is the rewatch i do on here#n i dont want to go back and change it the save it and upload in on here. sorry#tbh im REALLY not sure if anyone is even watching those. mainly doing this for my code of honor#(<- thinking to myself 'omg im gonna edit the whole albim the shark in your water by flower face to jackieshauna#and then acting like I swore my life to that cause)#(more like code of HOMOr amirite)#anyways. considero g how not much time i took in this im still proud of it#mitos incredible life#mine art tag#also I just realized this (or my edits in general) might not make that much sense withiut my thoughts?#like (most of the time) i have MANY thoughts abt the lyrics and I could analyse i think all of my edits very in depth#and it IS THAT DEEP bc im the creator and what i say is true fr#might do an analysis. if anybody likes this i see that as confirmación that ppl want it.#and if it's for the imaginary person thatll find this in ca 5 years (named him jesú.)#anyways jackieshauna brainrot REAL i cant listen to baby teeth anymore withiut thinking sbt them and violently feeling a lot of things#jackieshauna: The Shark In Your Water
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his silver swag.. ⛓
ref is obvs a sketch and not the final design. the icon ended up with a smile thats a tad too forced but its hard to see in a small size so i dont care.. too much. I LOVE GREY!!!! 🖤🤍 plus a xor cameo bc they share similar design principles. almost like theyre my sonas or something..
#made an icon before agonizing over finalizing the design bc im so depressed i dont give a fuck anymore. what the fuck ever 😑#obviously inspired by silver foxes. best looking grey animal on earth i think. u cant go wrong with black n grey..!#im just happy i managed to draw something. even if its just more daron for the 500th time. ive been melting over not being able to draw#i also was trying out a design for android dx800 daron which guess what. was also grey. of course! which reminded me of the foxes#im not sure if im gonna post the dx800 here tbh. i think ill make it a dexcentral exclusive. i dont care much abt it the icons suck too lol#myart#sketches#scheduling this one bc nobobbys awake at 5am. tch. look at my boy
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trailer talk
#compendiumnotebook#i probably articulated a lot of my trailer thoughts better to my mutuals and friends i was dming the other day#but the tldr of it is that im kind of disappointed they only seem to be adapting mostly movie and portable stuff#not that i hate hate portable or hate hate the movies#but saying that this is going to be a faithful remake of base 3 and having only portable events and options available + adding movie stuff#feels like a big slap in the face to fes and manga enjoyers. and dont get me started on the hammy lovers.#and also is just straight up incorrect. wish they would say what they're adapting rather than saying its a faithful remake#damn im so sorry yall. especially because if they wanted to do a portable adaptation she should be here.#even if im not her number 1 fan i get how dirty it feels#but tbh i am leaning more towards femc as dlc rather than the answer as dlc now#bc atp it just seems like they take fes for granted and brush it off#bc its not as popular#just feels kind of mean a bit#“manga and fes are there. but portable and movies seem to be popular so we can do more of that!”#minato being able to work a job is something i dont like. he's constantly overworked in every other department of his life.#now hes gotta work too?#it seems like this hero is less chronically ill tired angry and like theyre trying to give him more energy and “wipe away his wrongs”.#iddkkkkkk#im sure I'll warm up to it in game#and find a way to work this into my reading#but for now those are my thoughts#oh! i like his mp3 player saying hi to him. thats precious.
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Save me luffy.... luffy... luffy save me from having a job
#if you dont see me around for some days its because im going tru my emo era <- depression#happy one piece day to all who celebrate it was yesterday but its still op day in my heart#idk yesterday i was hit with a massive 'whats even the point of it all' wave and i cant get out#im going to fail my test on tuesday for sure i dont want to go to uni i feel ugly and stupid well whatever#still have to work just to be broke right away and complain about it on here and feel like an asshole#because theres people who are doing so much worse#feeling like this since july tbh but its hitting worse now. probably because of the test i should he studying for#anyway. lots of love to my beautiful mutuals see you in like a week
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hang on are cougars like panthers
#'the cougar also known as the panther' SCREAM#dont mind me rewatching carmilla as a side effect of my newfound interest in vampires#you'd think it was renewed interest in vampires but no#i actually have never been all that interested in vampires as their own thing i was just gay#and i dont think carmilla really explored the concept itself#like A* in using the medium. D or whatever in exploring their subject matter#actually tbf their subject matter was lesbianism so. again probably an A. they knew what they wanted and they did it well#idk how letter grades work tbh#also not actually sure how much they got into the vampire thing which is why im rewatching to check#bc i was reading iwtv and i was like damn carmilla left stuff on the table#but i also think a lot went over my head#even just english wise im a little stunned at how much i didnt catch. like i was fluent in 2015 for sure but. you do keep learning words#also carmilla is like a popculture remix and i dont have a lot of popculture knowledge so a lot of that went over my head too#now i have just enough to know that im missing a lot#like theres a line in s1 where laura goes 'im living with a vampire. an honest to lestat vampire' and like. never caught that#bc i didnt know how the fuck that was fhkjghgh#but anyway im watching s2 and laura's like 'vampire seductress here is just crabby bc im not falling for her 17th century idea of game'#and like they keep calling armand Ancient right? but carmilla is not much younger#just the difference in framing is what made me start thinking abt it all#like carmilla is 400smth and laura is aware abt that to joke abt it and probably thinks it's a little hot but then you think abt how they#depict that kinda age with armand like what he says to madeleine. 'how do you go on when everything from your era is gone'#and sure carmilla has that loneliness but DAMN. like fuck. shes been doing this same trick. being like the abigail hobbs to the dean for#centuries? i mean there was that century or idk how long where she was buried alive or whatever. but THAT TOO#like damn fuck!!!!!!!!!! ive been going through the fanfic again this week and like there really isnt much#at least doesnt seem to be much that explores this. unless it's in all the aus bc i filtered those out (and still got them)#also interesting difference is if i remember correctly the hollstein happy ending is that carmilla becomes human#in iwtv of course like every important relationship is between vampires. and every lover turns vampire. and every vampire is a lover#sorta. bc abuse themes and stuff. so the inversion makes sense but wouldnt it have been kinda cool if she turned laura tho#anyway. can you believe they were like 'well shes a cougar thats her job and also her supernatural power' dhfkhjgkh as i said: A*
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