#fucking. augh !!!! CLARISSA !!!

[instantpansies]

STRANGE NOISES FROM THE HOLE IN THE WALL HEADCANONS/INTERPRETATIONS UHHH OBVIOUS SPOILERS. CLARISSA CENTRIC CAUSE. HOLY SHIT

clarissa is to locomotion as clara is to the nutcracker. she's the kid who dreamed him into existence hundreds of years ago. i know he says he's older than the devil - i think that's still plausible, he's existed since thought but wasn't attached to the Silver Line or brought into physical existence until clarissa, lonely or in danger or just bored, imagined a world where she could escape from her everyday life and live as a grown-up(? maybe? since benjamin/timothy/billy seemed to age up as soon as he went through the portal?), with freedom and whimsy and eventually a relationship with the friendly driver.

why do i say this? because otherwise im really fucking confused lmao, that first scene where clarissa and loco are introduced is strange in the context of the end of the play. they seem to have known each other for a good while before they get on the train. they act like a young couple who's stumbled upon the silver line as an escape from danger and now they're excited for their new life in a new, safe world. except that loco also says he's been driving the train for years.

(looking back, that very much feels like a scenario from a child's imagination - or perhaps a dream - where of course he's been doing this for years, that's his job, but of course they're glad they've found the train together, this is a new experience for her so it's just an extension of her perspective)

but clara is, she says, a child when she gets on the train. idk how old "little girl" is, but if we run with this headcanon and also assume that the timeline is both linear and literal, she's imagining herself in some form of a sexual relationship with loco at a pretty young age.

i posit that this can be reconciled in several ways (some more disturbing or inappropriate than others), but one thing that could be considered is that the first scene where loco and clarissa are introduced is symbolic of their relationship over the course of the train's history. depending on how old clarissa was when she first dreamt the world into existence, she might not have even been very aware of loco, and spent her time just enjoying the escapism or whatever. after a few years or however long, she starts to get older and decides to learn how she's actually done this, maybe spends a long time trying to understand exactly what's going on. maybe her research leads her to a relationship with loco, i don't know. they do get on the train together, maybe, when they're both young (or, well, relatively speaking) and new to the world, and loco eventually has been driving the train for years and years and clarissa makes it a bit more tolerable with some companionship after a long lonely time. but those things don't happen simultaneously, because i think those things don't really work simultaneously. that scene is a sort of speedrun/amalgamation of how the two of them have interacted over the years. and yeah i guess that means they fucked at one point in there

(im going to be transparent, some of that is a bit of cope/rationalization. i think loco and the conductor are very exes/begrudging coworkers vibes, but i do like clarissa and loco together as well - unsettlingly powerful girl x eldritch being with a soft spot is a very good trope. and im trying to make it work out okay? give me a break lol. you don't have to agree with me on this, but once i see a luke and tom couple with a fun and compelling dynamic i will not let them go even if the ethics get a bit hard to explain later on. sorry, anyways moving on)

additionally, and i probably should have said this earlier, a reason i think this whole nutcracker theory holds up is because clarissa holds a sort of unique power in the world. she's been on the silver line for hundreds of real-years, who knows how many train-years, and still remembers her name and something of her old life. loco isn't hostile to her, even confirming her memory of her name and reminding her of her birthdate. with everyone else (ex. benjamin), he actively discourages them from remembering their lives. despite seemingly being one of the oldest passengers, she doesn't transform for hundreds of years. she obviously has some significance.

you know how that ties in? if this is clarissa's world, if her mind is what created the whole thing, then i think it makes sense to assume it's tied to her. as she begins to question her surroundings, then panic as she realizes she can't leave, her emotional and/or mental state becomes less stable, less utopic, less perfect. the dream begins to turn into a nightmare. and it becomes. well. an ouroboros. the snake eats its own tail and the train goes in circles and the escapist fantasy clarissa once loved becomes a prison of her own design. trapped in the very thing that was supposed to save her.

maybe that's why anthony and benjamin can get out when they do - as clarissa's world decays, as she finally begins to become part of the nightmare, as she melds with the train, the world has to shift a bit. it's reaching the point of no return - once clarissa has been fully sucked in, the train will never stop again. falling into an infinite nothing. but in that moment, there's one final chance for the conductor to stall locomotion, one final leap that could at last pull benjamin and anthony and everyone who's been sucked in by clarissa's black hole of a nightmare out of the portal and back into the real world.

and now, clarissa has lost three hundred years of a life that should never have lasted so long. gained perhaps thousands of years of memories of joy and connection and despair and panic and forever forever forever. and she is once again trapped in a vessel of her own making - her body is that of the child she has not been for lifetimes. her world is dead and gone - not just the world she created, but the world she escaped from as well. what of locomotion, that brief flash of connection? does he even exist anymore? who is she, now? who was she? where can she possibly go from here?

shoutout delirium_undead on discord for going along with the nutcracker theory and helping me flesh this out. your ideas are so galaxy brained and i am forever in your debt

[thefaeslibrary]

[Splitting connection...]

.

..

...

Success!

Sharon: "ALICE- BE CAREFULL-!"

Alice: "I am TRYING-"

Becca: "I got this don't you worry! It's just like golf!"

Sharon sat atop Alice's shoulder, while Becca stood next to her, swinging a large broom down at the scurrying bugs of various purple shades. Mrs. Forster cackled an evil hissing laugh as she got closer to the two of them with every step. On the other side of the room Mistress Barbarous had already scared Rosie and Carlos into a corner. She weilded cooking utensils and was threatening to use them in a NOT very circus friendly way. To which the freaky lion that accompanied her seemed delighted about

Rosie: "THIS IS NOTHING LIKE ANIME WE ARE SO FUCKED-"

Barbarous: "Now now BRATS! Language like that won't be tolerated in mY HOUSE!"

She made a lunge for them, but was knocked clean from the air as Judith finally arrived on the scene. Flinging herself directly ontop of the circus themed witch and wrestling with her to the ground.

Judith: "NOT ON MY WATCH!"

Barbarous: "Augh! Forster I thought you said there were only 5 of these brats!!!"

Forster: "There WAS only 5!"

Judith laughs, she laughs hard and loud directly in Barbarous' face. A gloating victorious laugh that could only ever come from her in this situation.

Judith: "You don't know the half of it! We've been upstairs and everything!!!"

Barbarous: "You've been UPSTAIRS? Clarissa that little traitorous-"

She doesn't get to finish her sentence before Judith clocks her a new one. It almost seems like she doesn't realize the witches summoned familiars creeping up on her, getting ready to take her out. A lion of that size, messed up or not, is bound to solve anyone's living issues-

The lion mimics it's owner, lunging for the girl, just as she spins and it sinks its teeth into that of Mistress Barbarous instead on accident.

Carlos and Rosie cheer loudly, and in Barbarous' injured state the lions dissipate. Leaving her to grovel on the ground.

Judith turns her attention to Mrs. Forster who sneers back at her. Her swarm of bugs is intimidating, and she was fighting a couple of kids....but these kids had taken down her two allies- and with veruca still in the tablet...she shrinks down to that of a spider to make a break for it- but a glass cup slams down ontop of her with a victorious laugh.

It was Alice. Her sister sat atop the glass peering down at the spider.

Sharon: "Oh man, I actually missed you Mrs. Forester. Since I've been gone for too months! Crazy how I went missing around the time you left town huh?"

The spider skitters at her angrily but it can't escape the glass cup.

[jcmorgenstern]

are you going to review the episode? because that was a Lot.

YOU FUCKING BET I AM ANON honestly this is the content i signed on for like look how much fun this USELESS IDIOT can be when you explore more than one facet of this stupid personality?? also will someone PLEASE let jonathan just kill ONE parent. i actually felt sorry for the poor fuckwit. like he gets to live his hannibal lecter dreamz (”can you hear them screaming, clarissa? clary? fuck you clary take pics for my instagram”) but also im pretty sure the institute’s prison food sucks. i also have at least two fic ideas, one of which i already started on (it’s gross ;)) and……AUGH im bURSTINg