#im not even over a friendship that fell out when i was 15. and me & that person literally

[citrusai]

actually i dub solas with BPD because i too fixate on every single failure in my life before i have a moment of mania where i proclaim i'm god and i'm all powerful and then i start snot crying about everyone i've failed in my life & doomed inadvertently by my actions and i need to be told by everyone in the room i'm not evil and beyond redemption / atonement. well anyway.

[transient-winds]

HI YES HELLO I’M ALIVE and the yapping is back (it never left)!!

Just when the summer bbq is concluding. 🥹

Uhh looking back at this post, it’s highkey a sako character analysis post in disguise. Spoilers Ahead for Wind Breaker Chapters 160 & 161! (as promised with doodles)

This last panel with everyone toasting to each other feels like the end to the Summer BBQ event, at least to me. *shakes and wails off into the corner*

So many friendships being strengthened, healing/healed and being made in this one event is making my heart do somersaults. GAHHH!! I would’ve loved if we stayed in this wholesome moment a little longer if it is the last but oh well at least these recent two chapters have given me two things to brainrot about for a while. 🤧

Sako Kota and his relationships

Hooray!! We finally get to see the (much needed) closure of HiraSako’s *gestures wildly* everything, in that moment my spirit synced up with Inugami. 

I’m sure it doesn’t take a genius to point out Sako had an unhealthy dependency towards Hiragi from when they were kids up ‘til the Shishitoren arc. On the surface level, Sako’s reasons for getting back at him may seem very immature and they are but I also see where it stemmed from. Hiragi was essentially the first to take a chance on him when he was at his lowest and gave him a chance to better himself.   Hiragi to him was the pinnacle of strength and security, his guiding light (Chapter 15). He likely thought that even when things change, he would always be by his side because with him, he’s safe—with him, he’s strong. Stronger than he was before, someone who wouldn’t let bullies trample over him.

So when the latter told him he was following Ume and that he should follow his own path, which is normally very inspiring, Sako took it as abandonment. In his eyes, his pillar of strength was no longer holding up the weight of his (Hiragi’s) own roof but rather someone else’s (Umemiya’s’) and he was left in the ruins (dramatic ass analogy I know but it works).

“If Hiragi had been the source of his strength, then if he beats Hiragi that means he’s reclaiming that strength as his own right?” was what probably went through his head when he started picking fights and joined Shishitoren.

His reliance on Hiragi was still there but now it was twisted and he likely started hating himself for having been content with remaining a follower. If you asked my personal thoughts about this, I would say it was unfair. Not just for Hiragi bearing the weight of his unreasonable expectations, but also for Sako himself whose helplessness as a child manifested into the ugly beast that is emotional dependency. 

Deep down, he was still the same hurt child who couldn’t fight back against his bullies and needed someone to support him. When that support came and fell through, he thought defeating Hiragi was his way of proving to himself that he can stand on his own without relying on others. The point when things finally climaxed (aka the Hiragi vs Sako fight) was the moment when Sako had begun letting go of his heart demons. Turns out he just needed to have a talk or two with Hiragi. Communication and respect are the keys to any healthy relationship after all, even if said communication is thru fists but they are delinquents so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. 

With that tangent on Sako’s previous ideologies out of the way, another thing I noticed in his official apology was that he called Inugami “kohai” and also like other things he said, but mainly that part. Maybe I’m reading into it or im late to the party, but me thinks he was somewhat of recluse in Shishitoren. Like sure, he wouldn’t be outright hostile but he wouldn’t be actively making friends either.

When Inugami first appeared and was very comfortable talking to him, it made me think “ah this is Sako’s new bestie when he came to Shishitoren, it’s good someone was there for him while he was gunning for Hiragi”.  But with this new context, in my head it makes sense if he only joined because he wanted revenge so he likely wouldn’t have reached out if he was so fixated on his goals. And with the whole uh pre-Shishitoren arc Choji and Togame thing going around, yeah I wouldn’t also be eager to make be friendly with them too. But somewhere along the way he got attached to them, he just didn’t realized it at the time.

After Bofurin bulldozes in with their life changing fists and kicks, Sako leaving wouldn’t have been a hard decision for him to make since (1) he’s got presumably no friends and (2) he wants to wallow in self pity alone for a good long while. Then comes crashing in sweet boy Inugami and honestly? I don’t blame Sako for spilling his entire backstory on the guy. I mean look at his face!! 

He’s Sako’s emotional support dog. 

Anyways, in my heart I’d like to believe Inugami was the second person to reach out to him. Offering him another chance to lean on support and start anew on learning to be okay with accepting a hand or two but not to the extreme. Trusting others and letting people in again, but also learning to trust in himself too.

And so far, things are going pretty well for him. Found family within Shishitoren, got someone who’s unafraid to keep him in check and repaired his relationship with Hiragi & his other childhood friends! Throwing all the confetti and sweets for him <3

HOO-WEE THAT WAS SO FUCKING LONG 😭😭 

I wanted to add more to this latter half of this discussion but the Sako-brainrot took over, so i’ll just briefly cover my thoughts on Sakura’s progress.

Two words: SAKURA’S GROWTH! 

HE IS BLOOMING IN THE SUMMER HEAT OF JULY, HE’S RADIANT AND HIS SKINS GLOWING AS HE SMILES, IM SMOTHERING HIM IN A PILE OF FLOWER BOUQUETS -*ahem*

Sakura really has come a really long way from the person he was 4 months ago and it’s a real tear-jerker. Even if he didn’t say it to their faces directly, he called his class his friends and he hangs out with the others (their allies) on his own whenever he has the time. Sakura’s getting comfortable with all of them and I cannot believe that after 160+ chapters this is the first canonical mention of the “stray cat” analogy. His first year and he already won the hearts of so many people, deserved really 🙌. 

Honorable mentions:

The Kanuma and Suo reunion I’ve been waiting for 👏👏. But it’s not enough,, so I’m gonna post a doodle of their mini interaction to satisfy my craving for enemies to friends and/or lovers suonuma 🏃🏃

!!Togame and Choji apologizing to Kaji!! I almost forgot Choji completely trashed him and other Furin students on his way to the school.  

This panel is my everything, it’s so sweet like y’ALL I’M HERE THINKING ABOUT WHO KNOWS HOW LONG YANAGIDA AND MATSUMOTO HAVEN’T SEEN AND TALKED TO THEIR CUTE KOHAI WHO FOLLOWED HIRAGI AROUND LIKE A DUCKLING. IM UGGHHH- *stumbles to the ground and wails pathetically*

Sugi? Sweet boy, what are you contemplating about 👀? If you asked me, I hope it’s about Sakura AND/OR will be relevant to the next arc of the series because my body is simultaneously ready and not ready for new antagonists.

—

Once again singing my praises to Nii-sensei, their team and the official english translation staff. My head is constantly in a spin for these characters and their interactions with one another. And thank y’all for being patient with me for this post and for reading til the end.

[looooochie]

𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲𝘀 | marc guiu

summary: marc promised to be her friend forever.

year: 2017

you were playing with your dolls when you hear your mom call you. "Y/N! come down please, my friend and her son is coming over." she says.

you feel a jolt of excitement when you hear that your mom's friend has a son. you put down down the doll and go down the stairs.

"so, when is this boy gonna get here, mama?" you ask her, with excitement.

"they're going to be here right... now." she responded, then you hear a car parking.at the moment, your excitement is through the roof. as the door opens, you see a boy who's around your age and your mother's friend.

she and her hug and you smile.

then you turn your attention towards the boy.

"okay. Marc, go up to y/n's room and maybe you can even be friends!" the boy's mom says.

you look at the boy again and next thing, you two were sitting on your bed.

"uhm.. so my name is y/n, I like f/c (fav color), and.. that's it." you weren't used to this feeling.

"cool. I'm Marc. Marc Guiu. I like football.. and uhh, I like blue.." he was awkward as you were.

the atmosphere was.. filled with  awkwardness.

"so, do you like football?" Marc asks.

"yes. I play it in my free time." you reply.

marc began to smile.

"that's very cool. so, do you like messi?" you ask him.

"yeah! he's my idol." Marc replied.

next thing you found yourself having a 20 minute conversation between you and Marc.

"no way! you know how to board?" Marc asks excited.

"yep!" you reply.

then an idea perked up in your head.

"wait Marc, I have a suprise for you!" you tell him.

Marc was very interested now.

"but you have to close your eyes!"

"why?" Marc asks.

"because it's a suprise, silly!"

Marc did what you told him to and you looked around and about in your drawer. you take out a sun and moon friendship bracelet and keep it I your hands.

"ok, you can open them now!" you say.

Marc opens his eyes and looks happily at the bracelets.

"woah y/n.. did you make these?"

"yep! and this one's for you." you squeal, giving him the sun bracelet.

marc puts it on and admires it.

"ok Marc. no matter what happens, you have to promise that we'll be friends forever, to infinity and beyond." you sigh, seriously.

"I promise y/n. friends, forever." Marc looks up at you, and you two pinky promise on it.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᡣ𐭩

year: 2022

marc: 16

y/n: 15

you and Marc have been friends for about 3 years now. you got a text from Marc saying he wanted to meet with you.

and of course you couldn't say no so, you went to him and your's favorite spot.

you find Marc sitting on a bench, looking at his phone. in a rush, you speed towards that bench and look at your friend, who stared up at you.

"you wanted to talk?" you ask him.

Marc had a serious expression.

"y/n we need to talk." Marc says, standing up.

"what's up I'm listening." you reply, putting your hand on you hip.

Marc takes a deep breath before continuing.

"you know my girlfriend, Ona?" he asks.

"yeah. what about her?"

"she.. doesn't want me to be friends with you anymore." he says, a lot of guilt and sadness.

"huh?? I'm not understanding you??" you reply shocked.

"ona doesn't want me to see you again. she's afraid that I'll cheat on her and.. vice versa.."

you felt the need to cry right now. when you thought it could not get any worse, Marc took off the friendship bracelet you gave him in 2017.

he takes your hand, puts in the bracelet, and shoves your hand to your chest. Marc had tears in his eyes.

as much as he didn't want to, he had to.

"im sorry." he finished, before walking off.

when Marc was out of sight, you fell to the ground, crying.

your friend of 3 years had just unfriended you, just like that.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᡣ𐭩

year: 2024

marc: 18

y/n: 18

you were walking back home, happily as Barça won the match. you then hear someone calling your name.

he sounded familiar.

a boy with fluffy, brunette hair and piercings runs up to you.

wait a second, fluffy hair?

that reminded you of someone, but you don't know who. he caught up to you, huffing and puffing.

"uhm.. do I know you?" you ask hastily.

"yeah, it's me." the boy stands up, and he looked familiar.

"hold the fuck up.. Marc? Is that you..?" you ask, shocked.

"yep."

you two stare at eachother's before Marc speaks again.

"look y/n, I'm sorry about what happened 2 years ago. I know I broke our promise, and I felt like a dick after that. I should have never broke ties with you and just didn't listen to Ona. The point is, I missed you." Marc says.

you begin to tear up and you hug him.

the hug was a bit long, but you didn't care, all you wanted was Marc. and what Marc didn't know is that, you liked him.

you two pull apart, then begin to blush.

"I missed you too." you say, before leaning in slowly, and placed you lips on his.

you had finally shown your feelings after 2 years of not talking.

Marc ran his fingers through your hair and you did the same with him.

you two pull apart, blushing.

you then get a jolt of anxiety.

"wait.. what about Ona?" you ask him.

"dont worry. I broke up with Ona last year. So it's really no trouble at all." Marc laughs.

and you laugh along with him.

"good. never even liked Ona to begin with. so good riddance." you smirk at him.

"neither did I y/n. neither, did, I." he replies, and you two kiss yet again.

[bellewintersroe]

Sebastian Vettel x RBDesignEngineer! Reader.

Set in 2013 during the GP, Jennifer is fresh out of uni and has made a name for herself within the F1 world. She joins Redbull-Renault as one of their engineer designers and easily fits into the team, forming friendships easily. Most of all, she captures the attention of three time world champion, Sebastian Vettel. Part 1- just an introduction to the OC and situation, please excuse my inaccuracies about the 2013 GP and design engineering im not a pro and was like 11 back then 😭😭 here’s the LINK to part 2.

Australia, March 2013…

“And here… right through here is… our youngest, and my personal favourite design engineer. This is where all the magic happens.” The sound of Sebastian’s German accent caused my lips to lift as I took my head set off, spinning around in my chair. Sebastian was walking alongside a camera man, touring around the garages. It was pre practice day, only two more days and the 2013 GP would begin. Although I’d been hired for Red Bull back in October of last year, it had taken 5 months to get to this point of merciless training and shadowing to ensure I was good at what I was doing. The Red Bull driver made his way over, resting on the back of my large chair with an amused smile. “Hi.” I nervously giggled, pushing my hair behind my ear as my headset fell around my neck. “This is Jennifer, do you want to tell them what you’re doing today, Jennifer?” The use of my full, formal name was sending me slightly giggly as I gazed up to the blonde man. Maybe it was just him making me feel that way…

“Um… so, to put it in simple terms so it’s not so boring, we’re just checking all the components of the RB9’s- what Sebastian and Mark will be driving- to make sure we don’t need to make any last minute changes.” “And what’s your name again?” The camera man asked. “Jen, I never go by Jennifer.” I laughed, glancing back up to Sebastian again. Whenever our eyes met I found myself struggling to keep composure on camera. “Tell then a bit about yourself.” He then nudged me on, grinning down. He could tell I was getting flustered, but continued purposefully. “Nobody wants to know about me!” I laughed, attempting to spin my chair back around in embarrassment. Hiding behind my computer for the first two weeks was my safe haven, that’s what I’d reverted back to. “They do!! Tell us, how did you get into your position?!” Seb spun the chair back, sliding a hand down onto my very ticklish shoulder, squeezing as both my shoulders jumped up with a giggle.

“Sorry.” Seb breathlessly laughed. “Um- well I started here in October, I just finished my masters last year at Manchester in Motorsport Engineering- um… Im 22- I don’t really have anything else very interesting to say! Uh- I suppose I had- just had experience from working part time with my brother who’s an engineer when I was like… 15.” I explained.

“Clever girl.” Seb responded as I automatically gulped in response, looking up to him and awkwardly glimpsing back to the camera. I didn’t know how to act with that in my face. “And what’s this?” The camera zoomed closer in on my second screen, it was just information about F1’s plan to go electric next year and use Hybrid engines, but it contained private information. My hand flew up blocking the screen dramatically, “oh! Sorry, that’s a secret!” Seb burst out laughing. “Oh no!” I laughed, “don’t worry I’ll cut that.” Luckily the camera man turned away as I sunk back into my chair. I really hoped I didn’t leak some super, confidential information about Red Bull or I’d be facing the sack a mere half year into employment.

Sebastian flashed me another smile and squeeze on the shoulder before following the camera man and showing him around some more. When they left I let out an internal sigh. I’d known Seb for the same amount as everybody else here, but I just felt this immediate warmth to him. Once the intimidation had worn off (even now I still felt it) I could tell there was an instant attraction. At points it felt mutual, Seb would openly flirt with me, tease me, I know he was a charmer, but I couldn’t tell if I was being delusional or not. He was cuddly, funny, he always looked so deeply into my eyes whenever I explained something to him. I wasn’t sure how I’d deal with the feelings that would keep me on edge for a full season. The worst thing about it??? I had a boyfriend.

[thevoidbunny]

I managed to get enough storage on my phone to play through the rest of travel memories so here's what I though of them

Ocean Sovereign: WHY IS IT SO LONG? Sorry, it was just surprising it went on for 20 stages when usually the events are just 12 stages. That, and there was so much stuff going on. We had Genevieve and Smokey's entire feud, Fleur and his gift, and Beryl's whole deal, it just felt like they were shoving everything into one story. But I guess I shouldn't be too hard since it was the third event ever. Beryl and Raphael's friendship carried it in the beginning, and then around stage 15 everything really started picking up steam. The entire Heat Wave section was actually really good and got me reinvested in the story. Which leads us to...

Endgame: A surprising improvement! Despite having no battles, the story was concise and gave everyone their own time to shine. Plus the "Vice wanted to be a Navigator" part hits different with Keen Sight around. Rating: Beach Episode/10

Dunefire Strike: Now I get why everyone praises this event, because it was that good. The best way I can describe it is like watching an action movie. It's just a fight for survival, and you can FEEL that so well. Everyone coming together to take down Hylinger gave me goosebump man. 10/10 Putting the rest under cut because I wrote too much lol.

Letters From The Skies: As someone who read Paloma's file before playing this event, learning just HOW they died fucked me up. Literally had to put down my phone and walk around. Pittman is okay, but he is naive to the fact true justice can't be achieved in the state Lumopolis is in. Those two aside, the courier sideplot was really cute, and the part were the letters fell from the skies gave me chills. Also, I have huge respect for Lin Guild now. Rating: I'm crying/10

Gloom of the night: It was alright, but im asking this right now. Why does everyone seem sympathetic to Rein? When I first heard of him I though he was just a guy who got hit with the ire of Lumopolis but,, He literally gave out enhancers that mutated people into Eclipsites, tried to assassinate Istavn to take over Umbraton, and almost destroyed the dam protecting the city from flooding. Is it because he's considered attractive??? IS THAT IT- Rating: TRUE ORDER CAMEO/10 Aurora Aeterna: Wow, I don't think I've ever hated a character as much in this game as Hedy. First off the pros: Cordy wasn't that bad as I thought, she's just got the short end of the stick considering her artwork. Paloma appeared so that's a plus. Pittman's learning but you can't undo a lifetime of conditioning in a few weeks so he still slips up. Shoutout to Carleen trying to get justice (even if it is vetoed). Now the cons: Hedy fucking sucks man. I already didn't like her when she first appeared (she was giving me off vibes), but then when she was telling Pittman he should stay in his place, AND THEN the entire veiled death threat to Paloma, WHEN HEDY LITERALLY READ HER FILE AND THUS KNOWNS HER FAMILY WERE UNJUSTLY KILLED.... She's so lucky she's a video game character. Sure she "improves" by the end, but unless some major character development occurs, Hedy is bottom of the tier list. But Hedy ain't the only one who's earned my goddamn Ire. Let's talk about Schwartz shall we? For being the so called ruler of Lumopolis, he sure is a fucking puppet head for the nobles. Maintain order at all cost, he says. But what happens when that order causes another injustice to occur? That lets another innocent girl like Paloma to lose her family? That lets another child like Beryl to be experimented on? Or that lets another scummy noble get away with their crime? Reinhardt gets a pass because she definitely was putting up an act about how she truly feels surrounding Illumina's experiments, and Bethlehem was trying to keep everyone in the room calm. Rating: Upper Lumopolis burns at dawn/10

[threebetrayals]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )

✿ NAME:    grey ✿ PRONOUNS:    they/them ✿ PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION:    discord’s always infinitely better than tumblr ims, but i actively use both ✿ NAME OF MUSE(S):    scaramouche/kunikuzushi/kabukimono/shouki no kami/wanderer wow god he’s got a lot of names for someone with literally no true name. i also have 4 other blogs of muses but i won’t list them all here lmao

✿ EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):    christ. uh. i’m not even sure, but it’s definitely over 10 years. we?? might even be approaching 15 at this point??? i’m fandom grandpa ok

✿ PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED:    forums, dreamwidth, little bit of discord, but i’ve always come back to the hellsite that is tumblr.

✿ BEST EXPERIENCE:    i don’t have only one, i’ve had a LOT of amazing experiences in rp over the years. discovering the tumblr rp scene with my qp partner, writing all assortment of character dynamics & relationships with said qp partner, creating two ocs entirely for the fictional world he created, meeting some really amazing people who’ve followed me across all number of blogs regardless of fandom & muse (s/o to rook, holly, & reiikon honestly, i do not Deserve), playing in some really great panfandom games back in my time on dreamwidth & getting some character friendships i never thought i needed out of them, and... most recently, losing my mind over kazu/scara with goose because that’s already like, my favourite thing to happen on this blog ok

✿ RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS:    mmm... my big dealbreakers are people who basically spam the dash with stupid levels of ooc (i’m fine with some spam!! but there is a point where i can’t handle it) or, worse, gifset after gifset after gifset. also obligatory drama mention, but i’ve been really fortunate to have avoided a lot of that sort of stuff for several years now.

✿ FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT:    i love writing all three, given the right muses & circumstances! but i’m forever a huge fuckin sucker for angst. i have a type when it comes to muses and it usually involves haunting trauma which i really love to dig into to explore them more as a character. muse/character exploration as a whole is the the biggest draw for me when it comes to rp, and i like to go DEEP.

✿ PLOTS OR MEMES:    i love a healthy mix of both!! plots are great for very specific things i want to have play out or explore, and that structure can be really nice. even just some plotted pre-established relationship before jumping into a thread goes a long way for me. memes on the other hand, i adore as well. prompts to respond to will forever be easier than writing a starter with little to nothing to go off of and honestly? i’ve discovered some interesting interactions/aspects of characters i didn’t expect through memes & memes turned into threads.

✿ LONG OR SHORT REPLIES:    not to call myself out or anything but i’m gonna go ahead and say both again. long replies will always be my top favourite because lord knows i can get really long-winded while writing. i love exploring a character’s thoughts & feelings in response to things and long replies will always be the best way to delve into those in as much depth as i like. short stuff can be good too though, given sometimes you wanna write but don’t have the energy for paragraph after paragraph lmao. plus?? there’s a lot of fun & silliness that can be had in shorter threads that i’ll never turn down.

✿ BEST TIME TO WRITE:    whenever i have the attention span. honestly though, that seems to be evenings for me, maybe with a little afternoon mixed in.

✿ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):    uhhh... i won’t deny that i tend to pick up muses who i can relate to in some capacity. scara... i wouldn’t say i relate to him a TON, but we do share a sort of... lostness. i used to know what i wanted too, but things fell apart, as they do, and i still feel kinda just. lost in limbo. can also relate to wanting to stomp all over your emotions, so. yeAH LMAO if i’m like him at all, it’s in small ways.

tagged by:  the best goose @rosemourne tagging:  UHM. i never know who to tag. let’s see... @florafound, @chronal-anomaly, @luckuki, @alatusatlas, @lupusmatra, & anyone who’d like to be tagged?

[xox-b1te-m3-xox]

laurance ranting at 6 am bc im sleep deprived and i love him but he's so stupid and i could talk about him for hours

season 2 laurance is a character that i personally relate to, infinitely more than the orange haired green eyed idiot that was ripped from final fantasy to be part of a minecraft roleplay series in 2015, but i'm gonna try to be as unbiased about this rambling as i possibly can

the whole of laurance's existence is. tragedy. there's not a single good thing that this man can have without something happening and ruining that. already he shows off as a character who struggles to the extremes with his self image and his worth, and i feel like this is something that's already deeply rooted in characters that are put into a guard role, some moreso than others (especially for those that feel they were built to be a human weapon)

i mean. laurance lived a relatively normal life until he fell in love with aphmau, and following her as the series protagonist just. brings misery everywhere because it serves for a story yknow, even aphmau's not immune to the curse of having every bad thing that could happen happen to her

with laurance it's a bit of a unique case, and that's not just me being biased either. it feels like he is specifically singled out for quite a few tragic events. the worst part about it really is that he's never necessarily given the time to process things, which only further serves to bring his worst traits to light. his obsessive jealousy for aphmau begins to take presedence over his friendship with garroth and it strains his relationship with aphmau herself, his want to still be human overshadows the reality that he is a shadow knight and it only proves to drag him down even further, not only making his anger issues turn from mere outbursts to sudden violence but it begins to change some of his core values. yeah accepting that he's a monster wouldn't necessarily fix him, but it's easier to do that than to live in denial and try so hard to convince yourself you're still 'normal'

the fact it took until he committed mass slaughter to finally wake up a little was already bad enough, but by then it was too late for all that and he'd already suffered enough, and he'd began a spiral that it was difficult to recover from

when tragedy comes to the other characters they're given so much more room to process their feelings, to vent and to recover. laurance doesn't get that often, and even when he does it seems like he turns it away. he feels like the kind of character who heavily bottles his emotions, and to an extent he sort of does! holding back on his romantic advances, hiding his anger because of the fear of hurting and killing others that he cares about... you get the drill.

despite a lot of that his only good trait in these moments of vulnerability is how rarely he lies; he's very open about a lot of his thoughts even if they're bad. to an extent it's admirable, but yeah he goes too far. hence the argument with garroth...

his circumstances to an extent do at the very least give some insight as to why he acted the way he did. it's not like he was a popular guy; good looking, but, he didn't really have anything. couldn't even have a parent who could stick around because he'd always lose them to tragedy. couldn't have a sister to be around because he was always in another city, and she has her own life and responsibilities so she can't always be there at the drop of a hat anymore. when he went to the irene dimension, 15 years passed by and she changed; he didn't because he only had 15 minutes.

on top of all that he can't really have the same close friend group like he once had because one of them has a family and kids to focus on, and the other he's always starting arguments and fights with over a girl they both like. really, all of them were deeply changed by the realization of just how long the were in the irene dimension for, but seeing how laurance develops later on makes me wonder just how badly it did affect him, and how little about it we probably know.

and even admist all that he has character flaws that are rooted in him being misogynistic, primarily his rivalry with garroth. when he and cadenza had their talk, where cadenza even pushed the idea that laurance deserved aphmau for all he'd done for her with no reward, he pushed it down. he was just happy to be around her, and that was enough for him. he didn't care if his feelings weren't returned, he was just glad he got to be with her at all. but during the later half of season 2, it felt like that narrative began to shift. naturally it began with lilith's introduction, and aphmau's sudden and out of nowhere pregnancy, and we saw how all that went down.

i honestly don't know why i latched onto laurance specifically, but i feel like his tragedy is... exaggerated. at the same time, i feel like how he suffers through and deals with it is very realistic, and it does touch a personal part of me that i also try to repress. my portrayal of laurance might not be entirely accurate to the canon material, but i do feel like it's at least based on canon as close as i can make it without totally projecting. his emotional outbursts are nothing new, but some were way more uncalled for than others.

at the same time, these outbursts aren't out of character nor are they entirely unwanted. they were caused by something, and whether or not he's been open about the root cause (or we've seen the root cause for ourselves) is irrelevant. i feel like laurance is one of the better examples of how your environment fucks with you. his relationships with a lot of the main cast aren't healthy. at least, they aren't anymore. his relationship with aphmau is a prime example of one such relationship.

neither side of this dynamic is healthy! granted, laurance's side is infinitely worse (as much as i hate to admit it), but neither of them were in the right all the time. they've both had to knock some sense into eachother at one point or another, but they're always prone to relapsing because it's never a constant thing. aphmau's anger issues starting to crop up is just an example of how the stress of life has been getting to her during the season, and while it's something that laurance could relate to in a lot of aspects, he's no better at controlling his own anger and emotions than her.

and i feel like there's just a lot of resentment in the main 'friend' group anyways (that being aphmau, laurance, katelyn, garroth, dante, and travis)

honestly there are not many healthy friendships or relationships in mcd lmao, and i think that mainly comes down to their circumstances more than anything; mystreet characters don't really have an excuse for their actions they're just shit people a lot of the time because it's a funny gag. in mcd the stakes are way higher, and at least you can understand how somebody turned out to be so horrible in that world.

if i ever get back to working on my own mcd rewrite i know i would love to just give laurance a happy ending in my version of the story, but his tragedy is what makes him himself. i'm not excited to have to write his misery all over again (i know i could write it way worse than jess did, as in in a 'this thing is awful to write about but it's realistic and difficult to ignore' way not 'this is just bad writing and people can assume what they want' way)

[saudade-asylum]

seeing as how quarantine is about to end for me (i’m moving back to london for uni on october 3rd) i figured i’d make a bullet list of all the things i’ve done/learnt these past 6 months :)

——its gonna get dark kids——

• i put a brown box dye on my head and i have not been a brunette since 2014. thats 6 years. i hate it but i also like it????

• my depression is a lot worse than i thought :) and i think i may have something else along side that and i am in desperate need of therapy :))))

• if i don’t have false nails on i will immediately bite my nails down to nubs and when i run out of nail i will progress to the skin around my nail bed and further. there is no stopping it. i have begun to like the taste of the stuff that’s meant to make you hate biting your nails

• put on a stone but have lied to everyone and said i have not but my proportions have just shifted??? don’t know why everyone fell for that but hey ho

• my grandmother was into incest :) there is a chance my mum was born via incest :))))) i hate it here

• i started cutting

• i tried monster for the first time (ultra blue) and i really like it

• i don’t deserve friends and so when a minor argument started i decided to use that to cut them all off because i’m a horrible person and i really think they can do better than me but i really miss every friend i’ve ever had so i’ve been stalking instagrams like crazy

• turned 20 and immediately had a minor breakdown and promptly put all my money and effort into kidcore alt fashion

• i cannot have a single conversation about politics with my parents lest we have a horrible argument and i get my feelings hurt via their racist and homophobic comments that they will immediately brush off

• i’m a lesbian, i’ve identified as lit rally every label i could before i figured it out. even labelling myself as a trans guy and ace through a super cheeky combination of compulsory heteronormativity and not understanding what a real friendship is due to all my toxic ass ex friends and thinking every boy crush was a crush when i just wanted to hang out with them. rip (ace people are still cool though and i love them all they’re like the family of your ex gf who you still love and hang out with)

• i tried the pink monster and it’s fucking RANK

• i spent over £2000 (my student loan) this lockdown on useless mindless shit of which includes colouring books i haven’t used, a mini fridge, a shit ton of earrings, a shit ton of takeaways, every sims expansion pack, and several plush animals

• told my parents that i’d spent over £2000 and started sobbing so now they seem to be taking the mental health thing a bit more seriously and have agreed to let me go see my mates in london and pay for it which is actually nice :)

• my mate had to cancel and none of my other mates wanted to see me / weren’t in the area the one day i was down so instead i walked around for so long that both of my heels burst open

• i have left my hair brown the whole lockdown but now i’m going back to art uni in london and now im thinking i need to dye it something cool or no one will be able to tell i’m a) gay b) actually arty or they’ll just think i’m a background character and no one will talk to me

• since my last bullet point about weight i have gained another 1/2 stone and am now 17 stone. i have 47 days till i go back to uni and i’m not really sure what to do. i think if i could get back to my initial weight of 15 stone before i go back i’d be ecstatic but i’m not sure how realistic that is? i’ve done diets in the past that have let me lose a stone but not sure how to do it now cause i’m veggie??

• it’s my fault my mums in pain because if i wasn’t greedy and going to uni then they’d have the money to pay for my mums knee replacement and she’d be able to get a better job and make friends in a non toxic work environment

• the only reason my parents aren’t getting a divorce is because it’s too expensive - according to my mum

• i’ve given up on the whole losing weight thing because i’m honestly too fucking sad to stop using food to fill any disappointment in myself. it’s actually incredibly difficult to stop eating

• since saying i was giving up on dieting i’ve actually ended up eating less??? not sure what my brains doing up there but hey ho i’m liking the development

• started crying when a minecraft streamer said i was smart for a suggestion i made (wasn’t even minecraft related)

[silvyavan]

OK I read the chapter and I finally realised why I can't Lucius seriously.

This man is giving eldest sibling syndrome, chuunibiyo and airfried energy so hard.

Like, all things considered, I don't think the majority of twitter really sets in that Lucius, even if he is the last baddie, is still the fuckhead that raised the Zogratis sibs.

This man is the reason Dante, Vanica and Zenon turned out like that and it SHOWS. (Under the cut cause I ain't making you read me dragging these 4 bitches to dirt)

Dante is the definition of narcissism, a man who thinks he's better than everyone but refuses to work for that title. He has the emotional intelligence of both a 50 year old boomer and a spoiled edgy 12 year old and it changes like a metronome. Even Lucifero dipped his ass. He's a misogynistic fuckwad with little to no mental development. This fucker absolutely copy pasted this shit from Lucius "I am The Chosen One" Zogratis.

Vanica. Look at her. This milf chasing trauma machine runs solely on the desire to fight because she's very much socially undeveloped and doesn't believe in familial love. Bitch couldn't understand why Acier wanted to protect her family and it took Noelle beating her ass halfway to death to even grasp the concept of friendship and it missed the shot so hard. Her healthiest relationship is with Megicula and that's an insult to Lucius' parenting methods.

Zenon. Zenon Gay Disaster Projection Zogratis. Where do I even begin with the most mentally incapacitated youngest child? This dude almost, ALMOST got out of the toxic family clutches and could have eloped with his childhood sweetheart Allen but Lucius (im pretty sure the dungeon incident was his fault, you can't tell me it aint) got so fuck ass mad over Allen "steering Zenon away from what he's supposed to be" that he sent out a hit on him to get Zenon to crawl back so traumatised he literally copy pasted the Lucius Manifesto into his head and went on a depression episode that lasted 15 years. Man self projected his self blame, flaws and everything he hated about himself onto Yuno because he saw the Parallels. Man sold his SOUL to Beelzebub for a cornchip victory that never came.

You telling me these three are the pinnacle of plotting? For all I can tell, Lucius sacrificed all of his sibling for whatever agenda he had and the minute something goes even a millimeter off the prophecy, he immediately tries to kill it instead of working around it.

Man is so hellbent on forcing his chosen one timeline he has no fucking long term planning skills. This man started a fight with Asta in front of two royals, a 500 year old sealing mage and all of whom know how to use Ultimate Magic. Mimosa is Literally the Senzu Bean of Black Clover. Noelle has killed MULTIPLE demons. Secre can banish Lucius' ass faster than he can ask what's going on. This is not the plan of the century, ESPECIALLY if he started this shit in the Royal Palace where MULTIPLE high ranking and strong mages reside.

You look at this man and tell me he ain't a deep fried chuuni who fell into a white supremacist reddit forum and got a 5 year plan that is a botched 20 year plan involving mass genocide. I don't believe it.

Man probably even made up Julius entire identity around his own self and then got shocked when said second soul then doesn't wanna listen to him.

I ain't even mad about Tabata making the 4th Zogratis Julius Sibling theory cannon now because the way it comes off, the only true way to stop the 3 Demonic Musketeers Of Apocalypse is to defeat their weirder, more unstable and bigoted eldest sibling who raised them into those disasters.

At this point, the only thing that could make this EVEN FUNNIER is if Lucius didn't account for the possibility of "eating a supreme devil's malice fueled heart immediately purifies them and reincarnates them as humans", which is to say Asta could be Astaroth's Unbothered, Moisturized, Happy, In My Lane, Focused, Flourishing Human Version and Asta simply talking is giving Lucius an aneurysm.

[tarosin]

the not so great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo and ranboo

this is an extra episode to the great adventures series -

people included: platonic! jack/tubbo/ranboo/tommy

please read what is written in bold

this is an “alternative ending” around 15 years into the future and is heavily inspired by bo burnhams song ‘goodbye’ this doesn’t mean this is actually how the series is going to end im writing it now and including it as part of series as their friendship is already established i can confirm y/n and the group are going to have a happy ending when the series eventually comes to an end this also does not mean the series is anywhere near the end i plan on continuing the series as vlogs come out. i’m sorry HOWEVER i am currently writing how y/n made friends with everyone so you have that to look forward to. i am sorry to the new people who requested to be on the taglist as this is the first thing you’re being tagged in

cw: angst, cursing

it had been around 14 years since ranboo moved to the UK, a year after the day you all met, to be with you tommy and tubbo. you were all thriving; you were living with your best friends, were all some of the most watched creators, you were constantly making new memories with everyone. you even had a wall full of photos of you all from every adventure you had been on with a picture of ranboo poorly edited into the background which made you laugh as you passed the wall every day. almost every evening you would all watch something on the tv, often re watching your favourite tv shows. the past few months had been pretty rough, there were days you didn’t even want to leave the house. you and tommy would fight over the smallest things. for example, a few weeks ago you were both arguing about who was responsible for forgetting something whilst out shopping.

“you were supposed to remind me to get it!”

“i told you to make a fucking list tommy, how is this my fault?”

“because i told you to fucking remind me but you were too focused on playing around!”

“you’re not making any sense tommy!”

“oh fuck off, y/n! i don’t even want to look at you right now!”

“so long tommy i’ll see you when i see you!”

and with that you left to stay with jack until you were ready to go back home, it was around now you lost your love for streaming, however jack encouraged you to stream for a little while so you fans don’t think you’ve left them in the dark. 20 minutes into the stream you felt like you were slowly loosing power even though it hadn’t even been an hour into your stream. A week later you were still with jack, that’s when you got the notification from tubbo.

bo: y/n... we’re sorry we tried our best to make him stay

boo: y/n come home as soon as possible

*tommy has left the chat*

*tommy has blocked tubbo, ranboo, jack and y/n*

bo: he blocked me??

jack: and me

boo: ...yeah

jack offered to drive you back home, which you gladly accepted. the ride was silent, the pair of you still trying to process what just happened, your friend of over 14 years had enough and left you all, until you finally spoke up your voice shaking as you tried not to cry.

“so this is how it ends heh?”

“well at least i’ll save fuel driving taking us all on adventures.”

“youre really joking at a time like this..”

“i was only trying to lighten the mood.. you know you’re being rather selfish not everything is about you. you’ve always been like this.”

“jack, i know you’re upset, i am too, please don’t take this out on me.”

“get out the car.”

“well stop the car then for fuck sake, i’m not getting injured because of you.”

as soon as jack pulled over, you got out and began the walk home, your vision became blurry due to the tears forming as you watched jack drive away. you ended up sitting in a cafe for a while to calm down. none of this felt real you pinched yourself, hoping to find out you were stuck in some nightmare. jack must have returned by the time you made it to the cafe as the community was now spamming questions on twitter asking why jack has now left and unfollowed everyone, followed by your mods telling you to check twitter. your fan base were hurt as their favourite streamers were falling apart and blocking each other. followed by them asking why you’ve not been streaming, you felt like you were going crazy as everyone else was able to stream and enjoyed doing so but you were struggling to stream with no one laughing in the background. you ended up sending a dm to your discord announcements knowing that they’ll share the news.

y/n: so long, goodbye for now. you guys have been extremely supportive over the past 15 years. however there is a lot going on right now (i’ll spare you all the details) i’m going to be taking a break for a while. after all does anybody want to joke when no one’s laughing in the background? i’m sure we’ll meet again, until then my loves!

10 minutes later you decided you should probably go home to the others, after all they’re all you have left.

“i promise to never go outside again.”

as soon as you walked into the house rather than being met with tubbo asking if you were okay, you were met with a notification.

*bo has left the chat*

he stood with his bags near the door

“this is all your fault, i can’t look at you anymore”

“you’re really joking in a time like this...right?”

“you were looking for a reason hide again.”

“trust me buddy i found it.”

ranboo pulled you as close as he could crying into the crook of your neck, you wrapped your arms around his waist as tubbo left the house. it felt like he took the happy memories with him. as soon as ranboo let go, you ran to your room locking the door trying to hide away from the situation, ranboo sat on the other side of the door not wanting to be alone.

“am i going crazy? would i even know? am i right back where i started 14 years ago?”

“y/n let me in.”

you unlocked the door and practically fell into ranboos arms, once you felt strong enough the pair of you sat on your bed, nothing could separate the pair of you right now, you both lost the people you cared about.

“i swear to god all i ever wanted was a little bit of everything all of the time. i’ve finished playing and i’m staying inside.”

“y/n i’m sorry..”

“im sorry too, ranboo, i guess this is the it.”

“at least we have each other.”

“and that fucking photograph wall.”

“that’s a problem for another night..please get some rest.”

it took a while but eventually you fell asleep in his embrace. you may have lost the others but at least one of your best friends stuck around.

taglist (sorry guys)

@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @c1loudee

[eberles]

Just Friends

Mat Barzal

A/N: this is my first mat barzal fic, and the first thing ive written outside of the obx fandom! im very nervous to be posting this, but i hope some of you like it! also, thank you @fav-imagines for the idea ilysm!! feedback is of course welcome, and my requests are open if you want to send something in! 🥰

Warnings: angst, swearing maybe?

When you met Mat over a year ago you never would’ve expected to be where you are in your relationship. You met him in a bar, a few of your friends forcing you out after a break up, and he spilt his drink on you. As if you weren’t already having a bad night, now your shirt was wet and you smelt like beer, that was until you looked up and saw his face. You could see his lips moving, but you couldn’t hear anything he was saying, having been distracted by his gorgeous face. He shook his hand in front of your face, a smile brightening his features, and you snapped back into reality. He was apologizing profusely and after a few minutes of talking you agreed to go back to his apartment, he assured you there would be no funny business after he could tell you were contemplating going off on him. You guys spent the night eating pizza and watching movies, and thus was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. 

Now here you were, 15 months later, crying about how you craved for Mat to be more than just a friend. Of course, you were beyond grateful to have met him that night, he helped immensely with your break up and it didn't take long for you to start feeling more than just friendship feelings for him. You would never tell him though, always wanting to preserve the wonderful friendship you guys did have, but sometimes it was difficult. Like now, when Mat appears to be in an amazing relationship, with an amazing girl who he raves about all the time and constantly posts pictures with. Scrolling through his instagram for what felt like the 100th time that night, with tears in your eyes, you heard a soft knock on your apartment door. Walking over to the door, wondering what someone would want at midnight, you looked through the peephole to see Mat. “Shit.” you whispered, using your sleeves to wipe at your eyes knowing it wouldn’t make a difference because of your red face and puffy eyes. 

“Mat…” you opened the door, talking softly, noticing distraught features covering his face. “Are you okay?” you stepped out of the doorway, letting him through as you spoke. You watched as he made his way to your couch making himself comfortable like always and you sat beside him, eyes searching his face.

“We broke up.” Mat whispered, head down almost like he was ashamed to admit it and you hated that you even felt a small jolt of excitement as his words. Of course, seeing him in pain was the last thing you wanted. “I should've ended it a while ago, it was clear the only thing she wanted from me was outside attention. She just-I don’t know, it was so amazing at the beginning you know?” Mat spoke looking up at you, finally seeing your face and immediately his dropped even more than before. “Wait. What’s wrong? Were you crying?” 

“Oh, Mat. I’m so sorry. I know you really liked h-”

“Y/N...talk to me. Are you okay?” Mat asked, with pleading eyes, grabbing your hands in your lap and holding them for comfort. The action and his words bringing more tears to your eyes, causing you to turn away from him and pull your hands out of his grasp, standing up off the couch. His eyes followed you, watching as you backed away from the couch slowly, using your sleeves to wipe the falling tears away again. 

“I’m fine, really. We were talking about you anyways.” You brushed it off, hoping to bring the attention back to him. Mat eyed you skeptically and patted the seat next to him on the couch for you to rejoin him. You walked closer to him feeling his gaze following you as you found your spot next to him again. He put a hand on your knee, squeezing it subtly, unbeknownst to him causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach and a heat to rush to your face. “You know it’s her loss right? She’s missing out for sure.”

“You think so?” Mat smirked, bumping his shoulder against your own, rolling your eyes noticing his cocky self start to return. “It’s okay, i’m not heartbroken about it, but it’s another failed relationship added to the list.”

“I definitely hear where you’re coming from, bub.” You sat back against the couch, feeling better after your meltdown earlier. Mat had that power over you, just his presence alone could turn your whole mood around in just a matter of minutes. You guys fell asleep on the couch together watching netflix and you were grateful he chose to not bring up your crying episode from earlier. 

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

It’s been a few weeks since that night and a few days after Mat had to leave for a few away games, and tonight he was coming home. You were beyond excited to see him again, never understanding how you lived your life happily before meeting him and now you couldn’t even go 2 weeks apart from him. You didn’t know this but Mat felt the same way, it killed him everytime he had to leave you. He knew you would be home waiting for him so your house is the first place he went after getting back into town. You heard a knock on your door and you jumped up from your seat, running to the door and swinging it open. You just about lunged at Mat standing in front of you and he grabbed you tightly giving you a long hug right in the middle of your apartment complex hallway. Mat picked you up walking you into your apartment, while you laughed as he mumbled something about not wanting to be in the hallway any longer. 

“I missed you!” you spoke as he put you down, you releasing yourself from his grip and looking up at him smiling widely. He mirrored your expression and repeated the words back to you in a genuine manner. You bombarded him with questions about how it was being away and on the road, obviously you watched the games from home, but you wanted the insider details. Mat updated you on his life and listened as you briefed him on everything happening on yours. There was something different in the air tonight and both of you felt it. Ever since that night and during the weeks he had been gone, you both noticed different things developing between the two of you. More touches, more flirting, more late night talks, and it felt like everything was falling into place.

It’s now been a few hours since he arrived at your apartment and after talking for most of the time you guys put on a movie, which was always a ritual for the two of you. You guys were laying on your bed looking at the screen and Mat was playing aimlessly with your fingers when you heard him start to whisper, “I think i’m in love with you.” 

You shot up from your laying position and stared at him, blinking slowly, “Did you mean to say that?” He shook his head slowly and continued, “Before I met you I felt like there was something missing in my life and over the last few weeks I realized I was missing you”

You gasped, feeling your heart swell in your chest. These were the words you’ve been waiting over a year to hear. Mat started to shift awkwardly next to you and you realized it’s been a few minutes and you hadn’t said anything. “You have no idea how long i’ve waited for you to say that.”

Mat breathed out a sigh of relief, sitting up so he was next to you, cupping your face between his hands, both of you leaning in, brushing your lips against each other. It started out slow, but turned heated rather quickly, both of you releasing all of your pent up emotions. Your hands were wrapped around the back of his neck playing with the hair on the back of his head, before pulling away slowly.

“I’m in love with you too, by the way.” you laughed, breathing heavy from the passionate kiss before leaning in for more.

[angstysebfan]

PR Stunt Gone Wrong - Chapter 30 (end)

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Summary: You are a fellow actress in the MCU, Bucky’s love interest. You met Seb during the CA: WS and you guys hit it off. Chemistry on and off the set, but never dated until after Infinity War. During filming of FATWS, the pandemic caused everything to shut down. Seb offered you to spend quarantine with him, but somewhere along the lines, things go wrong and Seb makes a PR decision.

A/N: I was going to to this in a Bucky story, but then I decided to keep it Seb. With everything going on with Seb over the last several months, I came up with this story in my head. Obviously a lot of this is made up, but it is using what we know Seb has been doing over the last several months.

One Year Later

You walk onto the set of the new Avengers movie, ready to get back to work in the MCU. It’s been a busy year for you. You filmed a few movies, and were nominated for an Oscar for one of your previous rolls, but didn’t win. Now you get to work with your Marvel family and you were excited. 

You walk into your trailer to see your assistant, “Morning Jen!” you say as you throw your bag on the couch. “Morning Y/N! Here is your shooting schedule, your coffee, and you are due in hair and make up in 15,” she says with a warm smile. You smile in return feeling like everything has returned to somewhat normalcy. Just then you hear a knock on your trailer door. You open it to see Seb there smiling, “May I walk you to hair and make up?” he asks. You give him a warm smile, “Sure,” you say before waving goodbye to Jen and walking out the door. 

After that day you said goodbye to Seb, you both took a long break from each other. You both got busy with projects and shoots, but after about 6 months apart, you ran into each other in New York. You were walking Tucker, who grew so much and was more dragging you through the streets. You saw Sebastian walking out of the coffee shop and you both saw each other and stopped dead in your tracks. You gave him a small wave, which he returned and walked toward you.

After talking for a few minutes, Seb offered to walk you back to your apartment, taking the leash from you. You both caught up during the walk and agreed to keep in touch. Over the last 6 months, you both texted regularly and called each other 2-3 times a week. You decided that friendship was the best way to move forward with Seb, though you know your feelings for him never truly went away. Baby steps, you told yourself.

You can’t even keep count of the amount of times you both talked until you fell asleep on the phone. He always gave you sound advice, and you tried to do the same. You both dated somewhat, but nothing serious. Seeing him now, back on set, you are happy you mended things with him. 

You walk to the hair and make up trailer was quiet, but comfortable. You wanted to ask if he read the review on Ale’s latest movie. She finally got a roll in an American movie, just like she wanted. The movie bombed in the box office, and she got a terrible review. You also heard she threw a fit when pap pictures of you and Seb walking around New York popped up. You couldn’t help but smirk when you read it. You decided to not bring it up to him, since you were both starting over.

As you are about to get into the trailer, your phone rings for a Facetime with Chase. You show Seb, who smirks and you answer, having the camera on both of you. Chase’s face pops up, “Hey! There are my 2 favorite people!” he says. You laugh, “Hey Chase! How’s everything going with you?” you ask. He smiles, “Good! I uh... I got a girl,” he says. “What!?” you and Seb say together.

Chase laughs, “Yea, she is pretty cool. I can’t wait for you both to meet her,” he says. “Well I’m happy for you! I’m sorry to cut this short, but we are running into hair and make up. I’ll call you later to learn more about this girl,” you say. “Sounds good, bye guys,” he says before hanging up.

You and Chase stayed friends after your talk with him in LA. He understood where you came from, and supported your decision to not choose him or Seb. He had taken himself out of the equation anyway, but wanted you to be happy. He talked to you about what to say to Seb and how he thought he would react. He helped you prepare for what you knew was a hard conversation.

A lot has changed over the last year. Seb got a new better team at CAA, and he made it very clear that he is never doing a PR relationship again. You fired your manager, though she apologized profusely and cried, you sent her packing. You decided not to go with CAA, but was signed by another reputable agency. You have quite a few big projects that could be big things for you in the next year and are so excited.

You and Seb walk into the trailer and sit in your seats, getting ready for the long day of shooting. Once you are done, you go to head back to your trailer, when Seb grabs your hand. “Hey, I wanted to ask you something,” he says, looking into your eyes. “Sure, what’s up?” you ask.

He takes a deep breath, “I... I wanted to know if you...” he falters, suddenly nervous. Your heart rate goes through the roof, “Seb? You can ask me,” you say trying to stay calm. He takes another deep breath, “Will you go out to dinner with me? Like... a date?” he asks. You knew that was the question, but it still hit you like a mac truck.

Were you ready to give Seb another chance? It has been over a year since you were together, and only 6 months since you started talking again as friends. Even though you have been taking baby steps with him, you know you still love him. But can you trust him? “Um... yeah, sure,” you say with a shy smile. Seb gives you a wide smile.

“But, that doesn’t mean I am ready to be in a relationship with you,” you say pointing your finger at him. “I know, but I am willing to take this slow. Let you see that I am ready, and that you are the one for me,” he says before kissing your cheek. “I’ll see you on set,” he says before heading toward his trailer.

You turn and walk slowly, like in a daze, toward your trailer, you hand touching your cheek where he kissed you. You walk in and see Jen has your costume laid out and ready for you. She looks at your face and smiles, “What’s with you? You ok?” she asks with a smirk. 

You look at her and give her a smile. “Yea. I think everything is going to be just fine,” you say with a laugh.

--

Chapter 29

Well that’s it. I know there wasn’t much talk about Ale, but I added in her not so happy ending. Also if you are pissed that there is potential for the reader and Seb to end up together, I left it open ended so you can decide yourself if they will if they will continue to date or one and done. Thank you for being on this crazy fiction/nonfiction journey! Feedback is appreciated!

Permanent Taglist:  @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @arundhati1609 @amandamdiehl​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @its-izzys​ @roserose26​ @elegantobservationstudentsblog

Story Taglist: @5jacobm5​ @thejemersoninferno​ @adriannajackson​ @barikawho​ @uglipotata72829​ @coffeebooksandfandom​​ @collette04​​ @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo​​ @calwitch​​ @thatsbucknasty @mollygetssherlockcoffee ​ @awkward117​ @bihoeofmanyfandoms​

[littlebitoffanfic]

The Warriors Smile

Fandom: Pocahontas Characters: Kocoum, Kekata, Nakoma, Pocahontas Relationship: Kocoum AN: So I remember seeing this request for Kocoum, but I cant seem to find the specific request. I remember it being about him not dying and the reader traveling with John and the reader falling in love with Kocoum and respecting his culture, but the details are foggy. Im not sure if this was what you had in mind, but I hope it satisfies you for now and if ive totally miss remembers the request or its not what you were looking for, just let me know 😊

  You didn’t like being on deck when it was such a storm. You were useful as a medic, but your training didn’t extend to battle the harsh sea. But after John had jumped overboard for Thomas, you came to make sure they weren’t injured. John saw your sour face when the men started talk of killing anyone you came across in the new world. After he came down from the crows nest, he tried to cheer you up, not knowing that you only stayed on deck to speak with him. “You look like you were the one who fell overboard.” He leaned against the banister, his face scrunched up in fake concern. “I wish you wouldn’t call them savages.” You mumbled to John, not having enough energy to fight with the rest of the crew. “But they are.” He looked at you perplexed. “Besides, everyone else on this ship calls them sav-“ “You’re not everyone else, John. And they look up to you. You cant have not noticed Thomas following you around like a shadow.” You saw the smirk pull at his lips meaning he knew what you were talking about. 

“He listens to you, too. Hes becoming pretty knowledgeable with medical stuff because he follows you around like a child.” John fires back, and he was right. But only because you warned Thomas that you might not always be around and he needed to know enough in case something happened to you. “Just, just remember. They’re humans too.” You huffed, wanting to move the subject back. “But they’re different.” John kicks off a boot to pour out some water. “They aren’t as different as you think, John. We’re different. Most people on this ship are different. Different eye colour, hair colour, height, weight, built.” You wave to the crew who weren’t paying any head as they secured the deck. “But i bet they have hearts that beat, lungs that breath and blood that runs red.” “Maybe I’ll find you a savage for you to find out.” John smirks at you as he tries to lighten the mood, but the moment he saw you weren’t impressed, he stopped. John could normally read you like a book. You had bother grown up together, and he pulled you along on his adventures many times. He got into fights and you patched him up. You had warned him that you were just a nurse, and one day you might not be able to patch him up. But he dismissed you as a ‘rambling wife’. Not that you were married, or anywhere near a relationship. In truth, you were sure you two would rip each others throats out if left alone too long. But people often assumed there was more than friendship. “I truly hope you are joking, John. No one deserves to die for simply being alive.” You shake your head, disappointed as you stand, rubbing your arms. You turn to disappear back into your quarters, hoping your words might have some weight with the man.

------time skip ---------------

 When John disappeared from the landing party, you found yourself wondering into the surrounding woods. You knew you would be chastised for it later, but you didn’t care. It was so beautiful. you wouldn’t go too far, venturing about 15 minutes away from the others until you found a clearing. The way the sun shone down on the forests was like something out of a fairy-tale. You were so lost in the beauty of it all that you almost didn’t notice the small chirping coming from the ground beside you. Glancing down, you saw a small bird. It had a yellowy orange chest, with a blue back and black markings. Crouching down, you wondered why a bird would be this close to the ground. It seemed dangerous. Unless something was wrong with him? The bird began to jump to you, but you saw its left leg wasn’t taking any pressure and it hobbles a little. “Shhh.” You picked up the small bird with ease and sat down with your legs crossed, your skirt making a small nest for the animal to sit in. “I think you have dislocated your leg, sir.” You mused, gently wrapping the bird in the towel and making sure you could still get to the leg . You grabbed some small bandages you used for fingers and smaller cuts and folded it in half so it was the length of the birds leg. You wrapped the small leg till you felt it had enough padding without hindering the bird too much and then tied it up. “All done. My fee will be in the mail.” You laugh to yourself, even though there was no one around to hear your little joke. You unwrap the bird, which tweets happily. “Lets get you somewhere high.” Getting to your feet, you hold the bird in your hands, leaving the towel and your medical supplies on the floor as you searched the surrounding trees till you found a branch about the hight of you eyes. Taking the bird over, you place it on the tree, but the branch wasn’t thick enough and you didn’t think it was high enough either. “Higher?” You ask, even though the bird has no say as you pick it up again, venturing to another tree which was higher up. The bird didn’t even move from your hand as you reached up to let it go onto the branch. It started tweeted, looking up to a near by tree. You followed its eyes and saw a small bundle of sticks and twigs nestled between two thick branches. The problem was that the nest was about 10 foot off the ground. You groaned, walking up to the tree and looking up at your new destination. There was a branch that you could grab onto, but you didn’t know if you had the upper body strength to pull yourself up and hold yourself with just one free hand. Moving the bird into one hand, you reached up and grabbed the branch. You managed to walk up the tree and pull yourself up till you were eye level with the branch you were holding, but your arm was shaking. You were almost parallel to the branch as you glanced down, seeing you were now a good 5 foot off the ground.  Before you could even reach out and attempt to put the bird up to its nest, your arm spasmed and you lost your grip. You didn’t even have a chance to yell as you fell, preparing yourself to crash on the ground. Until arms caught you. Your eyes had been scrunched shut, expecting pain, so your mind immediately thought John or one of the others had found you. Opening your eyes, you forgot how to breath. The man who had caught you was unbelievably handsome. Strong cheek bones and jaw line with dark brown, intelligent eyes that stared back at your own. You knew your surprise was painted on your face, but his was stoic, like a warrior. He had long hair with shaven sides, like a mohawk, but the hair fell to the left and down to his shoulder, and white feathers adorned the back of his head. The man lowered you to the ground gently. You both watched each others every movement, trying to work out if the other was dangerous or not. Just because you refused to call them savages didn’t mean you trusted them completely. You were on their land, their homes. They were within their rights to chase you off or punish you if they saw fit. The bird chirped in your hands. Apparently, you had tried to protect the bird from the fall rather than try held yourself. Great self-preservation skills. The man took a few steps back from you but before you could ask why, he ran at you. You let out a small yelp, turning away to try protect yourself. But then you heard a grunt. Looking through your hair, you saw he had ran right past you. And up the tree. He was holding himself on the branch, managing to get enough momentum to get past the lower branch and brace himself on it with a straight elbow on one hand. The sheer strength in his arm was shown by the muscles. He reached out to you, eyes darting to the bird. You instantly understood and went to him, placing the bird carefully in his outstretched hand. He rose it to the nest and the bird jumped happily into its home. You smiled widely, happy that the animal could recover from its injury in its home from a little while. Perhaps you could bring it some food later. The man looked back to you, and you caught his eyes. Despite your smile, his face stayed stoic. Taking a step back, you allowed the man space to jump back down, landing elegantly before straightening back up. He towered over you, and you suddenly felt rather intimidated by his presence as your eyes fell to the red markings on his chest. Two clawed paws. Like a bears or wolfs. You opening your mouth, about thank him when you heard voices calling your name. Whipping to look over your shoulder to where the voices came from, you started to panic. If they found this man, he was dead. Looking back to him, you saw his eyes darting to the sound as well, his stance strong. In fact, you could see that he was growing more hostile with every call. “you need to go.” You whispered, drawing his attention back to you. But his eyes showed confused. He couldn’t understand you. You tried make a shooing motion with your hands, but he only grew more perplexed. Eventually, you were drawn to more drastic measures. You placed your hands on his bare chest and pushed him back behind the tree. He stumbled slightly, before his stance became really aggressive. But he was out of sight now. You backed off, pressing your fingers to your lips as you silently begged him to stay hidden. And just in time. “[y/n]!? Where have you been?” Thomas called out to you and you flashed the man a small smile before walking back to your items. “Frolicking through the flowers, are we?” Ben laughed but ti quickly stopped. “Whats that on your hand, lass?” Looking down, you saw some of the red paint from the stranger had rubbed off onto your hand. “Oh, I found an injured bird.” You wiped the evidence on your skirt as you gathered up your things. “We better get you back.” Thomas looked to the sky, the sun lower in the sky. “Okay. I’ll follow.” You nod, throwing your bag over your shoulder. The two men retreated back into the woods, you following behind. But not before you could steal a glance back to the tree, seeing the stranger watching. You smiled at him before turning back. You heard the men grumbling about having to dig for gold. You would certainly make sure Ratcliff had a piece of your mind if he thought for a second you’d be digging. however, the moment you got back, all hell broke loose. Guns were firing, and crys that there was savages. Ducking behind a waggon, you saw them firing at some people in the trees, and they hit one. That might have been the end of it, but then you saw the man from the forest. He scooped up his fallen alley and carried him back into the wood as they all retreated. Stuck in a conflict, you stayed hidden as you thought. You owed him something. Not your life, but he had saved you from a broken hip or a concussion. And you knew they probably wouldn’t be able to treat a gun wound. You thought of the man, suffering in agony before dying with no understanding of what had hit him. So you did the unthinkable. Racing into the woods, you followed them, until they reach a village. You almost collapse when you see the colony of small huts. The crew would slaughter them as sure as day. A deep sickness filed your stomach as you press your hand over your mouth. You took an oath to help people, not hurt them. Holding the strap of your bag, you take a shaking breath. You could very well be walking into certain death, but that man needed your help. Taking a deep breath, you circled the outside of the village until you saw them taking the injured man into a hut. That must be either his home, or a medical place. You would bet the latter. Slipping inside, the group were too preoccupied with the wounded man to notice someone who wasn’t like them had entered. You felt like you had just entered a sleeping lions den. So you cleared your throat. Like lions, they turned and bore weapons at you as if they were fangs. “No, I want to help.” You held your hands up to show you meant no harm, but the men couldn’t understand you. You looked around, trying to figure out a way to show them you wanted to help him. Pulling the bag open, you pulled out the bandage you had. Showing it to them that it wasn’t a weapon, you began to wrap it around your arm. “Help.” You repeated, pointing to the gunshot wound. Their eyes narrowed, but none protest as you moved closer to the injured as you unravel the bandage from your arm. You would need it. You inspected the gunshot wound. There was no way he could survive this without medical help. But you would need the take the bullet out, clean the wound and sew him shut. You didn’t notice the chief looking to the man you had met not an hour ago. There was a silent understanding between them to let you be unless you caused any issues. And the shaman had said he didn’t know how to heal such wounds. “I need to take the bullet out.” You spoke, knowing they couldn’t understand everything you said. You rummaged to the bottom of your bag and found the spare bullets that the men had dropped. Pulling them out, you showed the man you assumed to be the leader one of the bullets between your thumb and pointing finger. You then mimicked how the men held the guns and made a quiet gun shot noise before showing them the bullet flying to his wound. Eyes widened as they realises what you were saying. “We need to take it out.” You pull out your bullet remover. It was a relatively new invention in the medical word, only about 50 years old but it was a key part of your tool kit. But you didn’t know it they would understand that. Your eyes flickered to the head healer, who looked to chief. A breeze came through the tent, making you shudder while the small group closed their eyes for a brief moment. When the chief opened his eyes, he nodded to the head healer who looked back to you. “Save him.” He told you, making your eyes widen at his English. But you nodded, and got to work. They let you work without question but with watchful eyes. You warned it would hurt, and apologised. But the man gritted his teeth and managed to stay still. Bullets were kind of a speciality of yours. It wasn’t something you were proud of, but it was a fact. the bullet was out with 5 minutes. But that didn’t mean it was over just yet. You sewed up the wound, trying to make it as neat as you could. “You’re doing really well. Im nearly done, I promise.” You glance to the injured man, and you could see the relief in his eyes. “Why did you come?” Their leader asked you. “To help. Im a medic. I took a vow to heal people where I could.” You answer truthfully as you wipe away the blood from around the wound and placing a gauge over it. “Your people caused this.” The chiefs words made you flinch. “My people are ignorant and arrogant. I am not like them. I don’t want a war or anyone to get hurt.” You shook your head, feeling the guilt in your stomach. “Why?” he knelt next to you, his eyes watching your face closely. “All blood is red. Its my job to heal that.” You look at him, hoping he might understand your reasoning more than you did. “We cannot let you leave.” The chief stated as he stood, but you had prepared for this. “if you don’t, they will come to find me.” You answer, looking up at him. “Then how do we know we can trust you?” he asked, his chin rising as he spoke to look down at you. “You cant.” You answered honestly, your eyes dropping. “But I can trade you supplies. Like these. To help if you do get into fights. I don’t have much, but it will help you.” The chief regarded you for a moment, his mind thinking over your deal. “Are they dangerous?” The leader asked you as you focused than you needed to on tying the bandage. Pressing your lips together in a straight line, you nodded once. “Leave by night fall. Do not return.” He spoke with authority and you nodded, thankful he was allowing your freedom. “Thank you.” You bowed your head to him out of respect as you packed your things. “We will fight this enemy, but we cannot do it alone. Kocoum-“ the chief was answered as the stranger from earlier stood and followed him. “Send messengers to every village in our nation. We will call on our brothers to help us fight.” He walked out the door, the stranger from earlier at his side as he addressed his people. “These white men are dangerous. No one is to go near them.” You sat back on your heels, unsure what to think. Had you condemned your friends? But these people had a right to know, to protect themselves, didn’t they? You were conflicted, torn between the right thing to do. The lead healer hummed a little, regarding you. You held out a spare gauge and bandage to him, which he took along with a bottle of anti-septic. “Its incredible, how calm he was.” You look at the man, who lay with his eyes closed as if in a trance. “I will speak on your healing once it is done.” He muses, but his eyes danced with some amusement as you smiled at him. He pushed a bowl of water to you so you could wash the blood off your hands. Just as you were drying your hands, the stranger from earlier stepped back in. Kocoum. “I hope to meet you again, child. But not in such circumstances.” The healer smiled, nodding to you before he continued his chant from earlier, signalling it was your time to leave. Kocoum snuck you out the back, and guided you through the forest in silence. You followed without question, occasionally falling behind a little but always catching up until you saw the wooden logs being hauled up to build a fortress. Placing a hand on Kocoums arm, you stopped him. “You shouldn’t go any further.” You told him, your eyes screaming apologies to him as you stepped in front. “But im glad we met again, even if the circumstances were awful.” Kocoum nodded, and you were sure if he was agreeing with you or simply acknowledging your words. “Goodbye.” You step away from him, and he gives you a small bow, before he moves behind a tree, hiding. When you emerge, it feels like the entire crew fauns over you, worried. But Ratcliffe suddenly appears, parting the crew like a sea as he regards you. “Where did you run off to?” he asks, his voice not showing any concern for your wellbeing but probably for your lack of labour. “The guns and fighting scared me. I ran to the woods for cover and got lost.” You lied. “And did you… find anything?” Ratcliffe prys, leaning down as if to intimidate you but you stood your ground. “No.” You shook your head, not breaking under his pressure. he huffed, demanding everyone gets back to word before retreating to his quarters. As the crew disperses, you steal a glance to the woods, unable to see Kocoum anymore.

  -------------time skip ------------

You told yourself that you were just going to feed the bird. That’s the only reason you were going back to that clearing. But you weren’t. That man had plagued your sleep, and you wanted to see him again. walking through the forest, you wondered if you were lost, until the clearing came into view. Digging into your bag, you grabbed the paper bag of bread pieces and seeds you had managed to get your hands on. Walking up to the tree, the bird appeared on the lower branch that you could reach, apparently recognising you and tweeting happily. You took a palm full of the food and held it up to the creature, who happily jumped onto your wrist to peck at the food. “Thank you.” A voice spoke from behind you, making you jump. But when you saw it was Kocoum, you relaxed. You had never heard him speak before. “How is he doing?” You ask, going back to your task of feeding the bird. You could just leave the seeds on the branch, but you wanted to be doing something. “He grows stronger every day.” Kocoum informs you. “That’s good. I cant imagine the fear he must have felt.” You muse, as the bird jumps onto your fingers, hopping across your hand to stand on your palm to peak at the food. You were grateful because you could lower your arms, which were hurting a little. “Why did you follow?” Kocoum suddenly asked as you turned and sat at the bottom of the tree. In truth, you knew it was risky. Any instinct you had told you to run away, but you were so interested by him that all you really wanted to do was talk. “I already told you. I don’t like seeing others suffer.” You move the seeds into one hand, freeing your right hand. With the back of your pointing finger, you stroke the birds head, smiling. “Plus, I own you for saving me from a nasty fall.” He didn’t laugh with you, but you didn’t mind. You were a stranger to him, an enemy even. Kocoum stayed standing, but backed away so he wasn’t looming over you. It suddenly dawned on you that you knew his name, yet he didn’t know your own. “Im [y/n].” you suddenly say, wanting to right that wrong. “Kocoum.” He pressed a fist to his chest. “I know.” You smile, amused by the birds trust in you as you petted it. Looking up, you saw Kocoum was confused and, perhaps, suspicious. “I heard the others call you by that name.” Your explanation seemed to ease his suspicions, but not completely erase them. He sat with you for an hour or so, and you told him about your home. You didn’t want to ask about his own in case he thought you were going to relay information. When you noticed that your absents would soon be reported, you stood. Placing the bird back in the tree, you told Kocoum goodbye, but he followed you. At first, it made you a little uneasy, until you reached the edge of the forest and it dawned on you that he was making sure you got back safely. Before you could turn and thank him, he was gone. For the next few days, you found yourself running off to the clearing, and most times he was there. There was the occasion that he wasn’t, but he seemed to like your little meeting. You were both suspicious of each other, but it seemed to ease out as you both spoke. Well, you spoke and he listened. He would ask questions, and seemed interested in you, but didn’t seem like much of a talking. You joked about it, saying that it was fine because you could talk the ear off anyone, so you could easily make up for it. And, at the, he smiled. You nearly fainted. In the setting sun, in this beautiful clearing with this handsome man, he smiled at you. Your legs were jelly as you couldn’t help the blush that rose to your cheeks. “Your voice like bird song.” Kocoum’s words would be the death of you, you were sure of it. Now a blushing mess, stumbling over your words, you knew it was time to head home. He accompanied you as always, and yet he stayed a little close than normal. Just before you reached the outskirts, he grabbed your hand. “Stay safe.” He whispered, and you could see the corner in his eyes. “You too.” You returned the concern before the two of you parted.

-------time skip ----------

Whatever was going on with John, you were worried. Pacing by your tent, you wondered where he had ran off to at such an hour. He should know better than to do this. You didn’t want to confide in anyone in case they told Ratcliffs and he got angry. In fact, you hadn’t seen Thomas around either recently. Stopping, you glance around. Something felt off. Suddenly, the calmness of the night was broken by screams. Grabbing your medical bag, you followed the others. Thomas came running, crying out for help, that John had been attacked and taken. You rushed to calm him but the others got there first, demanding to know what happened. “I kill one of them.” Thomas whispered, swaying back and forth before dropping his gun. “You- you did what?!” You nearly shriek, but managed to keep it down as the men gathered weapons. “I shot one. They took John because I killed one of their own.” He scrunched his eyes up, but when he opened them again, you were gone. Running into the forest, you felt yourself trembling as you raced to the tribe, treason be damned. Maybe you could help, or exchange something for John. You didn’t know. “[y/n]!” A voice called out, making you nearly fall over as you stopped, heart beating so loud as you saw a woman running through the forest to you. She stopped when she saw you had noticed her. “Kekata told me to find you. He said… you could help Kocoum.” She seemed unsure as she spoke, her eyes darting around. “He- He was the one shot?” You whisper in disbelief. And she nods. You followed her as she raced back to the hut where you had went to heal the first man. Sneaking around the outside of the village, you both managed to slip inside without notice. Kekata sat by Kocoum side, who was still. You were praying he was asleep. Passing Nakoma, you raced to his side. “It isn’t as the first one was.” Kekata spoke to you quickly, and you could hear the worry in his voice. “No, its in a more dangerous area.” You nodded, confirming his worries. A hand was placed on your shoulder, making you turn to Kekata. “I wanted to give Kocoum a fighting chance. But I do not expect a miracle from you.” his words sunk in as he stood, preparing to leave. You didn’t know what was going on. What was going to happen. “I do not trust the white men. But I trust you. you might save one life, but I suspect blood will still fall at sunrise. Stay here. This is my safe haven for you, for what you have done for us. A debt repaid. Do not come out of this hut. Do you understand me?” Kekata spoke with such urgency and hints of aggression that all you could do was nod. “If he wakes, sound the horn.” Kekata draws your attention away from Kocoum to look the elder. He was standing at the entrance, gesturing to the corner. You didn’t follow his direction, instead noticing Nakoma, who seemed confused and almost fearful that Kekata was leaving you alone with an injured Kocoum. “But I do not know if it will stop the war.” War. The word hit you like a bolt of lightning as the realising dawned on you. You knew what would happen now, but you couldn’t think about it. You just had to focus on saving Kocoum as the two left the hut with no further words. Putting on your calm façade, you told yourself it was just another patient. Your hands shook a little more than normal, and you paused before you went near the wound. But once you got to work, you were immersed. All the items you had given them were laid out to your side, along with your own and 2 bowls of water. Time seemed to drag, and you felt sick, but you pushed through. You heard things happening outside the hut, the warriors marching to battle, but blocked it out until there was silence. Working by candle light, you blinked away an odd tear and focused. Maybe, if Kocoum did wake, you could spare John too. Then its not a life for a life. Shaking away the grim thoughts, you worked through till you heard the morning chirping of birds. It was still mostly dark out. Once you were finished, you sat back. The cloth you had been using to clean the wound was bloody, and you didn’t want to use it any more. Ripping a piece of your shirt, you knew it was freshly cleaned this evening. The first bowl of water was more blood than water now, so you moved on to the fresh bowl and used the rag to carry water and run it over the wound to clean it. You went to the water and wet another tore bit of your shirt before coming up and sitting beside his head to clean his brow. Your eyes darted to the paint on his chest, but you didn’t dare touch it. It wasn’t your place to remove that sort of thing. You didn’t speak, not needing to offer any comforting words to anyone, but the silence was near unbearable as you waited for something to happen. For war to break out? For Kocoum to wake? You really couldn’t put your finger on it. After what felt like a millennium, you noticed his eyes were moving behind his eyelids. You held your breath, your lips pressed together in a harsh line as you tried to keep yourself calm. However, the moment his eyes fluttered open, you broke. Tears of relief streamed down your cheeks as you pressed a hand over your mouth to hid your sobbing. The fear which had had your body in a tight grasp eased the moment he woke, and you had done so well keeping yourself calm while you had been alone that you were overwhelmed. His eyes found you, and he began to sit up, despite the pain he must be feeling. Leaning on his left elbow and forearm, he pushed himself up into a sitting position before you could even talk. “Don’t sit up, it will be painf-“ you couldn’t finish your sentence as a large hand slipped behind your neck and he drew you to his lips. The moment his warm lips met your own, you were a goner. The nurse had left you, replaced with the girl who was screaming with excitement as he kissed you. The kiss was intense, but controlled and carful, just like Kocoum. He controlled every aspect and, if you had been standing, your knees would have been weak. It was so perfect, like a dream which you wished to never wake from. Some part of you was convinced you had falling asleep by his side and you were dreaming all this. You reached up to his face, your fingers gently grazing across his cheek before mirroring his own hold on you by slipping your hand around the back of his head to just above the base of his neck. with your other hand, you gently wrap your hand around his wrist, your thumb pressing against the veins, feeling the pulse beneath the skin. A small shiver ran through your body as you moved closer, running your hand along his arm and to his chest. Pressing an open palm above his heart, you could feel the steady beat. Pulling back, you felt the air flood into your lungs and the tent suddenly seemed to much bigger and brighter. You couldn’t help the red in your cheeks, or the smile on your lips as you look at the man who had stolen your heart from the very moment he had caught you. Much to your surprise, you saw a smile tug at his lips, his eyes dancing with a joy you had never seen before. No one had ever looked at you like that. He looked so happy, so full of life. Suddenly, what was happened beyond the tent hit you like a wave as you jolted back. “We have to tell them you’re alive.” You suddenly say, and you see the happiness be replaced with concern and confusion. “They think you’re dead. They are going to kill John in revenge but Ratcliffes marching to war with them.” You began to panic again as you turn to where Kekata had pointed before he left. In the corner was a horn. Moving from his side, you grabbed the horn. Turning back to Kocoum, you knew you couldn’t ask him. He was already moving way too much and you were terrified his stitches wouldn’t hold. Getting to your feet, you went to the mouth of the hut and looked up at the blue sky, praying it wouldn’t see red today. Taking a deep breath, you raised the horn to your mouth and blew. The sound was deafening but you pushed through for a solid 10 seconds before lowering it. You didn’t know what it would do, or who could hear it. Perhaps you were too late. Some leaf’s rustled as a wind ran through them in your direction, but what you felt was not the wind you knew. It was a small gust, and it seemed to run up your body, winding around your legs and waist before passing your head and fleeing, taking leaf’s with it. You stared in the direction it had went, and something told you that there was still a chance. You jumped when you felt a hand on your lower back, turning to see Kocoum standing behind you. “We need to go to them. They will need proof.” As he spoke, you knew he was right. “But, you are still healing.” You press a hand to his chest, desperate to keep the heart beating within it. “I will have time to heal when this is done.” Kocoum spoke with conviction, but you pressed firmly on his chest. “No, you could undo your stitches.” You shook your head, until a small figure appeared from beside the hut. Your eyes darted to her, nearly jumping at her sudden appearance before you recognised her as the girl from the night before, Nakoma. She looked at Kocoum as if he were a ghost, a hand pressed over her mouth before she stepped forward. “I’ll go. I’ll tell them you are alive.” She nods firmly, before turning on her heel and running off towards wherever the battle was going to happen. Hopefully, the horn was enough to cause a moment of doubt, and Nakoma would be the voice of reason. Hopefully, it wasn’t too late. You pushed your worries to the back of your mind and turned to Kocoum. “You need to rest. Please.” You take his hands in your own and guide him back into the hut and towards the mat. Despite his protests, you helped him lie back down as you chested the stitches and saw they were fine. Although, even if everything did turn out okay, you were sure you would have a battle trying to keep him still to heal. There was not much else to do, but wait.

Within an hour, Nakoma ran back. By the look on her face, it wasn’t good news. You held your breath, waiting for her verdict. Thankfully, the sound of the horn had reached Pocahontas in the forest as she ran to save John. Apparently, this was the one John had been sneaking off to see. She had manged to stop everything, even speaking sense to her father before Nakoma had appeared, telling everyone that Kocoum was alive. But then she grabbed your wrist. “Your leader, a shot hit John. Hes bleeding.” As she spoke, you felt sick to your stomach. Another bullet. Grabbing your bag, you stuffed your medical supplies in. “I’ll go. Will you stay and make sure he doesn’t move? His stitches are fresh and it could do damage.” You didn’t wait for her to respond before taking off in the direction she had came. Something guided you through the woods, until you appeared at the bottom of a hill. You saw your crew on the other side at the bottom of a sheer drop, and Kocoums tribe were on the hill. There was relief on everyone’s face from your crew at your appearance. But you were worried. You had patched John up a fair few times. Your worries were that this time, you couldn’t. Climbing the hill, the tribe parted for you as you came to John. “Another bullet, eh?” you dropped to your knees beside him. he was lying with his head on Pocahontas lap as she soothed him. “Yep, I’ve heard you’re pretty familiar with them.” He tried to laugh, but winces, holding his side where the blood was. When you saw the position of the hole in his shirt, your heart sank. Pulling away the material, your greatest fears were confirmed. “John, the entrance wound is right on top of the scar from before.” Your voice shook and, for the first time since you arrived, you felt useless. “What does that mean?” Pocahontas asked, unsure why that was an issue. “It means I cant help him here. He needs to go back to England and get it surgically removed by a doctor. I don’t have the tools or the ingredients to do it here and I’m totally useless-“ Tears welled in your eyes as you were overcame with emotions. But John interrupted you. “Hey, hey, hey. From what I heard, you’ve been very useful. Theres only so many times a sailor can patch up his ship before he has to put it to specialists, eh? And this ships taken a few waves or two over the years.” He chuckles, wincing yet again. But he soothed you immensely. “I’ll get your bandaged up, give you some stuff for the pain. Im sure Thomas will be by your side the entire way home.” You smile, reassuring both him and yourself.

-----------time skip --------------

You stood by the sea, waiting as John asked. He said she would come say goodbye, and Kocoum had agreed the same. “So, let me get this straight.” You sat, crossed legged by Johns side. “Me and you, two people who get mistaken as a couple all the time, each started a relationship with two members of a tribe who were due to be wed?” “Yeah, funny how things work out, eh.” John smirked. “Look.” Thomas, who had been standing on watch, pointed to the mist that lay thick on the forest floor this morning. You couldn’t see anything at first, until there was the silhouette of not just Pocahontas and Kocoum (you were partly annoyed that he was walking so soon), but also of at least 8 others. The crew held their breath, clutching their guns, until it was revealed the others were carrying baskets of food for the journey home. You couldn’t help but smile at the gesture. As Pocahontas came to John, you stood. But Thomas met her, taking off his hat out of respect. “Going back is his only chance. He’ll die if he stays here.” Thomas spoke with her, and she placed a hand on his shoulder. You watched the two with such amazement and respect. Powhatan and Nakoma approached. Powhatan pulled off his shawl and lay it over John. “You are always welcome here. Both of you.” He looked to you as well, making you smile with gratefulness before turning to speak only to John. “Thank you, my brother.” He smiled down at John before retreating. John said farewell to the animals, he then turn to Pocahontas. He cupped her cheek in an intimate way. He asked her to come, and she refused because she was needed by her village. But when he offered to stay, she said he needed to go. Their love would be broken by distance, and as she leaned in and kissed him, you took your leave to go see Kocoum. “Stay.” He took your hands in his own, holding them tightly against his chest as if he never wanted to let them go. You couldn’t help but smile, but you faltered in answering. Was it selfish to stay? John was leaving Pocahontas, with an open invitation back. What if something happened on the way home and they needed a medic? Were you abandoning your promise by staying here? But you were staying as a healer as well, so did that balance everything? Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt a hand clapping your back. “Sorry to interrupt.” John called over to you. the smirk on his face was not one you trusted. “You know, [y/n], I think that we need a new nurse. One whos not going to run off and heal the enemy. Not that you’re the enemy now.” He quickly added to Kocoum. “No, I think that you should be somewhere that’s peaceful, somewhere that you cant run into trouble. Like, oh say I don’t know, here? Just something to think about.” If he hadn’t been shot, you might have kicked him. Had everyone been eavesdropping this whole time? Looking back to Kocoum, you couldn’t help but beam at him. “I think that means I can stay.” You nod, bouncing on the balls of your feet with excitement. Kocoum smiled, and you heard him let out a breath that he had been holding. Something small flutters to your side, and you turn your head to see an old friend. The bird, with the blue back, was hovering beside you, chipping before flying into the sky. Something told you that you would see the little guy again. You raced to say goodbye to the crew, and Thomas promised you that he would take care of John no matter what. You told him that you believed in him. John didn’t like long goodbyes, so gave you a handshake along with a smile. “I’ll see you soon, anyway.” You smile. “oh, I’ll be back as soon as I can stand.” He joked. “You know, I would roll my eyes, but Kocoum only got stiches a day ago, and he came to stay goodbye, so I have no doubt that you men are stupid enough to do that.” You returned, swatting his arm. But soon, it was time to part. The sadness you felt from seeing the ship sail into the distance was no unfelt, but as you felt the warmth of Kocoums body beside you, you couldn’t help but be excited for this next chapter of your life. You were welcomed in the village both as a healer and Kocoum’s wife, and quickly became known as the only one who could make the warrior smile.

[tmnt-mags]

Raphael x Fem!Reader

Reader is April's little sister and meets the turtles through her. I changed the ages and timeline a bit just because I don't feel entirely comfortable writing the turtles as 15 year old kids. SO the turtles are 18 the reader is 17 nearing 18 and april is 27.

Warnings: some mention of parent death, but nothing else!

Part 1/ ??

Im still pretty new at writing fanfic and have only done a few and this is my very first tmnt one. Constructive criticism and nice things only please!

I didn't remember my dad. My mother gave birth to me a month before his death. I didn’t remember him but my big sister April did. She told me everything she could about him, all kinds of stories and old home videos. It's almost like I know him but I don’t. Sometimes it's sad and I wish for nothing more than to have some memories with him, but I’ve had a good life and have a great family. I’ve lived with my sister since our mom passed 2 years ago from cancer. I miss her a lot, but I like living with April and I love our apartment.

We both have a deep love for media. She is a reporter with Channel 6 and I started making youtube videos right around the time mom died. It was like a video diary back then and has since turned into something completely different, though there are the occasional personal diary type videos.

I was wearing my favorite oversized sweater. It was a deep forest green and nearly reached my knees. It was worn and a bit tattered in some places, but it was the coziest thing ever.. I was barefoot in the kitchen listening to April talking about the latest Foot Clan activity and thinking about the questions she was planning for some guy who worked on the docks. She had convinced her camera guy Vern to take her over there before they shot her morning segment.

“You’re gonna be late!” I called into the living room while putting some breakfastt in a container for her to take on the road.

“Thank you shorty,” She rushed in and gave me a kiss on the cheek as she grabbed her breakfast and rushed out of the kitchen again to grab her bag “I’ll either be back for dinner or late!”

“That's really specific April,” I mutter as a lean in the kitchen doorway and watch her check her purse. “Do you have your touchup bag and your toothbrush?”

April let out a small gasp and rushed back to the bathroom. She came back out with a bag, gathered her things and blew a kiss as she ran out the door. I let out a laugh and went to eat my own food.

I spent the day editing a new video. I just hit 700k last week so I was making a special video to celebrate. It had some songs that I had covered laid over a video of me painting a portrait of my mother and father. It was taken a year before he had died and they had gone on a weekend getaway in the Appalachian mountains.

I didn't look up until April burst through the door. It was already dark out and I hadn’t even noticed.

“I just witnessed a Foot Clan attack!” she called as she walked through the apartment.

“What? Oh my god! Are you okay?” I practically jumped up and followed her as she began pacing around the living room. “April? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine! There I was at the docks trying to get some answers and then BAM! They were there!” She went on about the attack and then started about some kind of vigilante that fought them off.

“Vigilante? Are you serious?” She didn't answer, she just went into her room. I sat back down on the couch and tried to process what she had said. In the end I shook it off and went get some dinner ready.

Over the next few days April was hard to find. She seemed to be constantly on the move and didn't answer her phone. She came home talking about dad's old experiments and giant turtles, and over the next 2 days seemed to just be gone. The spire on the Sacks building fell and The Shredder, who was the leader of the Foot Clan, was arrested and Eric Sacks was revealed to have been working alongside him the whole time. It was a wild time for New York, and April was suddenly quiet about the vigilantes.

Time began to move on and April started talking about these 4 new friends she had that were brothers. They seemed like a fun nice group, and the stories she shared were great.

“So,” I started as we sat together on the couch, “when do I get to meet the brothers?”

April choked on her glass of white wine. “What? Meet them?”

“Yeah, You talk about them all the time! I would like to meet them. They’re all you’ve been talking about for like 3 weeks.” I said as I pushed her with my foot.

“Ummm,” April stopped to think and had a vague look of concern on her face, “I'm not sure actually. They’re pretty busy guys.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Uh-huh. If you don't want me to meet them just say so. I was just curious.” I turn my face away from her.

“No it's not that, It's just they’re kinda shy. They don’t really like meeting people.” April's face said that she was telling a lie.

“Okay.” I left it at that clearly something is bugging her about me meeting her friends.

April-

April went to spend some time with the boys, but couldn’t stop thinking about them meeting her little sister. How would she react? She thought to herself, ‘I fainted when I met them, and there are still times when it kinda freaks me out a bit. I don’t want my baby sister to get scared and I don’t want the boys to get hurt because of it.’ They had tried to act like April’s reaction didn’t hurt them, but she knew it did. ‘I just want everyone to be happy.’ She was sitting in the lair watching the boys fight and Mikey brought up their Christmas pop album again. She smiled, (y/n) loved music and often performed covers on YouTube. She was really good at it. She had even written her own songs but at this point refused to release or talk about them on her channel.

“April, is something troubling you?” The brunette turned, surprised to see Master Splinter.

“Oh it’s nothing really.” She paused, “Actually could we talk? I am having some trouble.” Splinter nodded and gestured for her to follow. Not answering the questioning looks of the brothers, they went into Hashi.

“The boys avoid this room as much as possible,” Splinter said with a chuckle, “they will not listen in in here.”

“Makes sense,” April laughed and sat down on a mat with Splinter while looking at the odd structures in the room, “I’m having some trouble with my sister.”

“Oh yes, little (y/n) she had only just been born. I believe your father brought her down to the lab twice in those last weeks.” He thought back fondly on the small soft baby that looked so tiny in the arms of her father but so big compared to him then. “ what is it that is wrong?”

“She wants to meet the brothers. She doesn’t know that they are turtles, but she knows I have new friends.” April said looking down, “ we are very open. We’re the only family we have left so we always know each other's friends. It’s a safety thing I guess.”

Master Splinter hummed and looked at April, who continued.

“She wants to meet them and honestly I want her to too! I think they would all get along so well and I think the boys would adore her. It would also be nice to know that there are 4 ninjas who would look out for her.” April sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

“I just don’t want the boys to get hurt. What if she is afraid of them? What if she screams and calls them monsters or freaks? What if she passes out or cries. It would hurt them so much, and I don’t want to see my sister frightened anyway.” April’s shoulders slumped and she lowered her face to look across at Splinter.

“You know your sister well? Do you think she will react this way?” The rat questioned.

“I don’t know. This isn’t exactly a situation that has ever come up before or one I ever thought I would be in.” She played with her fingers in her lap and she watched him stroke his beard.

“I think you know your sister well and know what would be the best course of action.” He smiled, “I think the trouble now will be convincing the boys to risk meeting her. I have no doubt that it will be a split crowd.”

April nodded and gave a kind of exasperated smile. She knew exactly what he was talking about. Mikey and Ralph would agree, Donnie was iffy, but Leo would say no.

“Thank you Splinter. That does actually help. Do you mind if I stay in here a bit longer?” She asked.

“Go ahead child. Take your time.” Splinter got up and left the Hashi.

April sat and thought about what he had said. She thought back to everything she knew about her sister and what she knew of the boys. If her sister could be accepting she knew that they could have a great friendship. The boys were half a year older than her and they didn't know anyone their age. It would be nice for them to have that she thought. She knew Mikey would be super friendly right away, maybe even too friendly. Donnie would be polite but wary at first and a bit excited. Raph would be happy just to meet another person, but Leo would be cold. She feared that he would be distant and unapproachable and she knew her sister well enough to know she wouldn't be able to handle that.

She took her time and eventually rejoined the brothers. She brushed off their questions with a simple: “I needed advice.” She sat down with them as they all talked and joked around. Finally Donnie brought up the perfect opportunity.

“April you're lucky you don't have brothers.” He said as Mikey bombarded him with insane ideas for gadgets.

“Well I don't have any brothers but I do have a baby sister.” The turtles all turned towards her clearly shocked by this news. “She's actually about 4 months from turning 18.”

“Woah Angelcakes, We didn't know you had a lil’ sis. Is she as beautiful as you?” Mikey said while batting his eyes at her.

“I think she is absolutely gorgeous, and she sings and does art. She’s about to be a senior in high school.” April said while leaning closer to mikey. “Shes shorter than me and has curves for days. She used to be on the dance team actually.” April laughed and Mikey threw himself back and fanned himself with his hand.

“Why haven't you mentioned her?” Leo asked.

“You never asked if I had any siblings. She was born a few weeks before my dad died.” April smiled sadly at that “She actually asked if she could meet you.”

The boys seemed to freeze at that, and suddenly all eyes were on her.

“You told about us?”. Raph asked.

“Kinda. I might have left out the part about being ninja turtles, but I told her about my new friends and she wants to meet you guys.” Raph scoffed at her answer.

“So you didn't actually tell her about us.” He almost snapped at her.

“Cool it Raph.” leo warned.

“I don't wanna be looked at like a freak. She won't want to meet us when she sees us.” he stood up and walked off. April looked at the others who all looked like they wanted to disagree and agree with Raph at the same time.

“Sorry angelcakes, I'm sure baby angelcakes is great though.” Mikey shrugged.

April sat in disbelief that they all basically said no. The lair was quiet after that and she left after they ate some dinner.

She got home only to remember her sister was spending the night at her friends house. So she had the place all to herself. She let out a sigh and poured herself a tall glass of wine and sat on the couch thinking about the events of the day. She came up with a plan as she finished her cup and decided that by the end of the week they boys will have met her baby sister. She grabbed her phone and invited the boys to come hang out at her place for once this upcoming weekend. They didn't even ask if her sister would be there.

(Y/N)-

April had gone out to pick up some pizza for a late night dinner. I had school, homework, and some video editing to do and forgot to cook. April came home late and said not to worry about it and would grab some pizza. Her new favorite place didn’t offer delivery so she went to go get it. I decided that a nice hot shower sounded good and went in. I got out as I heard the front door open and close. I made my way to my room about to throw on my favorite green sweater only to remember that It had been washed and was in the dryer. So, I wrapped my towel back around me and opened my door to head out into the living room. I walked out and looked up only to meet with 4 pairs of eyes.

“Oh my bad,” I said, turning to go back to my room only to stop and turn right back around. “Ummmm…” I trailed off not sure what to say as I stared at 4 very large, very green, oddly human like turtles, all while in a bath towel that left most of my left hip exposed.

“Oh hi (y/n). I forgot to mention I had friends coming over.” April said walking into the room. “You might wanna put some clothes on though.”

“Yeah…” I said not able to look away from the very large turtle creatures sitting in the living room.

[angst-fairygodmother]

15 and 17 from winter tropes with anyone from lotr? (i think with legolas or with sam/frodo/merry would be super cute but its up to you!)<3

A/N: It has been a really, really long time since I’ve written for LotR, and I’ve never written for this character before that I can recall, so this is an experiment. I hope it comes out well and that you enjoy it (thank you so much for the prompt). Word Count: 1176 Content Warning: implied consumption of alcohol

Winter came slowly in Hobbiton, the farmers always knowing when the first chill would creep in and settle over the remnants of harvested crops. With it came Snow festivals and sledding, ales put away until the new year in favor of teas and mulled cider and wine, the smell of pies wafting through the crisp air at all hours. 

You had always loved life here in the Shire, but even more so now that the War of the Ring had come and gone. You shivered involuntarily as the shadow of what had been passed over you, the memory of those dark days and the knowledge that what you’d gone through was nothing compared to what your friends had suffered. 

You hunched your shoulders and pulled your collar up to try and block out the wind as you made your way down the lane, toward the Green Dragon to meet up with the very friends you had been thinking about. You could practically already picture them in your mind: Merry and Pippin somehow always one mug ahead of the rest of you and flirting with any available maid, Sam blushing and mooning over Rosie and her doing the same right back, and Frodo who’d always been quiet but was more pensive now, like his mind was always somewhere else as well as with your little group. 

“Y/N!” Your heart fluttered as Merry called your name as soon as you stepped through the little inn door, voice carrying over the room as if he didn’t already hold your attention at every given moment. 

You grinned, dancing through the crowd to get to their usual table. 

“There you are,” he said, wrapping you in a hug, his embrace melting all traces of the winter evening away from you. 

“Merry was about to send out a search party,” Pippin teased, nudging his friend dramatically and threatening to slosh his wine all over the floor, and you. 

You laughed at their familiar banter. “Why? I’m not even the last one here.” You nodded to the empty seat you assumed was reserved for Frodo when he deigned to show.

“I don’t think Frodo’s coming tonight,” Merry said, tension lacing his voice and you reached out, to place a comforting hand over his before hesitating. The two of you had always had a tactile friendship, but somehow you feared that was crossing a line. 

“He’s been acting strangely again,” Pippin continued, though the gleam in his eye said he’d seen your action and tucked it away to tease you with later.

You shot him a curious glance as you flagged over a waitress and ordered a hot cider.

“Has his nose buried in that book of his and Bilbo’s, more than usual.”

“And keeps asking us about what we did while we were separated,” Merry added, grimacing. 

“Leave off ‘im,” Sam cut in, glaring at the three of you. “He’s had a rough year and he doesn’t need you busybodies making it worse.”

“We’re not,” you assured him, shaking your head. “We’re just worried about him, for exactly that reason. It’s not good for him to spend all his time alone after everything. Or keep everything locked up inside.”

“He’ll talk when he’s ready.” As Rosie came over and sat in Sam’s lap, kissing his cheek in greeting, it seemed to give him new confidence and a teasing grin crept over his expression, one you were far more used to on your other friends’ faces. “But you’d know a thing or two about not talking, wouldn’t ya, Y/N?”

You choked on the sip of your drink, coughing and sputtering as you stared at him. Rosie was the only person you had ever confided in about how hard you had fallen for Merry, and you were beginning to suspect she had spilled to Sam. But surely he wouldn’t dare to say anything? 

“Now who’s the gossipy hen?” you countered, trying to cover how flustered you were (especially when you noticed Merry watching you curiously) with bravado. 

Sam and Rosie laughed suddenly and the stand-off was broken, conversation and good humor settling back in over the group of you. 

“Y/N,” Merry said a while later, “can I talk to you?”

“Of course Merry,” you said, “I always have time for you.” 

He stood up offering you a hand which, puzzled and flushed, you took, letting him lead you outside.

“I thought we could hear better there. And Pippin can’t interrupt,” he explained, pausing under the ledge just to one side of the door. 

“Makes sense,” you mumbled, feeling suddenly shy at how intently he was watching you.

He cleared his throat awkwardly, but remained silent, just staring.

“Merry?” you asked, tilting your head to one side. 

“This time of year is supposed to be about new beginnings and such,” he started suddenly, voice seeming too loud in the darkness. “And I’d like one. Pippin’s been bugging me to tell you.”

“What?” you frowned, puzzled.

“That didn’t come out right. Or it did but not. I’m trying to say…”

You held your breath, trying to keep the little bird that your heart had suddenly turned into from flying up your throat to escape, preferring the ache of it fluttering against your chest to anything that might damage its fragile wings. 

“I’ve faced Nazgûl and armies of orcs but this is the scariest thing I’ve done, you know.”

“You have nothing to be scared of,” you breathed, hoping he’d notice the look in your eyes and know that, if what you thought he was saying were true, you felt the same and always had. 

He looked at you for a moment before that familiar smirk replaced his nervous expression.

“So if I kissed you right now you’d…?”

You grabbed him by the lapels, planting your lips on his before he could. His hands fell to your waist quite naturally, and you lost yourselves in the moment, until you were desturbed by a tapping on the window. You pulled away, through not completely out of his grip with an arm looped around your middle, and turned, looking up to find that someone, and you couldn’t possibly fathom a guess who, had drawn hearts and xs on the foggy pane, clearly meant to mock. But now that you had kissed him once, you felt nothing but the desire to do it again, and to tell everyone that you had finally gotten together. You giggled, burying your face in his neck. 

“D’ya think they know?” you mumbled. 

He laughed, the sound high and clear through the night and making you feel warm and fuzzy in a whole new way now. 

“I’d guess so. But that’s good.”

“Oh is it?” you looked over at him, eyebrows raised in challenge. “And why is that?”

“Because it means we can go back in, and you can sit close to me by the big fireplace, and everyone will know you’re mine.”

“I like the sound of that.” You pressed another kiss to his cheek. “Especially since it’s really cold out here.”

[countesskittymeow]

Loki time! Unforseen circumstances caused delays in my ability to watch the episode before and let me tell you, trying to stay spoiler free was hardddddd. But here we go.

Is just me or did the handle to Boastful Loki's hammer look like a wrench?

The destroyed Stark Tower doesn't actually have the letters Stark or Avengers on its side... They kinda look like a QE maybe an N and G. Guys! Guys! Its the fold! The Fold has invaded the Loki-verse! I wonder if the Darkling might show up next xD

Alioth is a doggo! Also wait a minute. The Void? As in the place that Loki fell into at the end of Thor? New headcanon! Loki has been here before back when he fell from the Bifrost but he lost his memories of the time he spent in there because... Because Alioth ate him and then he ended up in Thanos's clutches!

Is Sylvie really going to trust her? Like i get becoming temporary allies because their goals are suddenly aligned but... I wouldn't go so far as to trust her, really.

Kid Loki is adorable but why did our Loki fall on his back having a knife pointed at him by such an adorable face? Also, the end of space time doesn't actually look as depressing as it did in DW... I mean everything is destroyed and covered in overgrowth but like there's a certain creepy sort of beauty to it, no?

Grampa Loki is giving off... sweet old grandpa vibes. Also 'overly sensitive like the rest of us' sounds hilarious.

Amidst the garbage dump of discarded forks and styrofoam plates, trabbed in the dirt was a Mjolnir and a frog! thor in a jar. How is he still alive an breathing though? I mean it looks hilarious but a) how is he still breathing and b) how fucking horrifying would an existence like that be? Trapped several feet underground in the dark in a bottle doomed to an eternity being trapped in a tiny bottle unable to escape or even die...

Told ya not to trust her! Shoulda pruned her when you had the chance Sylvie!

Eating the wrong neighbor's cat? 🤣

Grampa Loki knows what he's talking about. Listen to him Loki. Blades are cool but magic is wayyyyyy cooler. Listen to grandpa you's wisdom and take notes. Use your fucking magic! Awwww Grandpa Loki missed Thor. He's definitely a MUCH better brother than depressed Thor from the movie that shall not be named because i refuse to accept it as canon!

Seriously? All Loki's are turning on one another because they can't stop being backstabbers? Really? Even at the end of time, that is the trait the writers decided that they had to retain? Really? Really?? Also, Loki over there in the corner hiding his face like, 'dont look at me. Im not one of them, I swear. They're all idiots. i refuse to be associated with these backstabbing morons'

Alligator Loki ate his hand! He at his hand!!! Is it awful that I literally laughed at that scream though? Also baby Loki hugging his emotional support hand eating Loki is so cute! And our Loki is just sneakily tiptoeing past all the others.

Its official, Grandpa Loki is now my second favourite Loki!

So B-15 literally just repeated all of the same reasons that Renslayer herself provided Sylvie with in an attempt to not be pruned and now she's acting like B-15 is imparting her with some profound wisdom? Like woman, I thought you were a smart backstabbing bitch... Wait a minute, maybe Renslayer is a Loki variant too! It definitely fits in with the scheming and the backstabbing that the writers are trying to tell us are Loki's core personality traits, right? (I'm definitely salty about that in case you couldn't tell)

Mobius looking at alligator Loki: i dont think he's a Loki variant

Crocki: -_- I'm green and I. Have. Horns! I'm Loki!

Sylvie, didn't you choose this outfit yourself? Also I'm pretty sure Loki knows how comfortable or uncomfortable a leather armor might be given he's been wearing one for a long long time...

So... Are they supposed to be in denial about 'being in love' here or are the writers confirming that they were messing with us?

The feeling was friendship!!!! Yessssss!!!!

.... Wait... You did not betray your asshole of a father! He let you fall off the Bifrost! This is Stockholm syndrome talking. Loki is NOT having a a great moment of self reflection here... This is total bullshit.

This isn't the Sylvie show so why is she being framed as the most important in this backshot? Also, the bobblehead irridiscent(i know i spelt that wrong) bird thingies are adorable IMO. I want them to have those as pets.

So they gave the burn it to the ground line to Mobius? Would have been more fun had our Loki said it once in the previous episodes though. Also, Mobius you're headed back to the TVA completely unarmed. And you're not a very good fighter sooooo how exactly are you going to burn it to the ground? I mean its definitely an inspiring scene but I can't help but picture him being pruned back to this end of time world literally five minutes after he leaves and grandpa Loki and Kid Loki are there rolling their eyes at him like, 'dude, you really suck at this so I guess we'll have to help you.' and then they all go back and are badass together and much fun times are had by all Lokisas they let their inner pyromaniacs out to have some FUN!!!

Fire magic! Fire magic! Fire magic!!!! He finally used fire magic! YESSS!!! I mean it came after he stupidly ran off to be the bait but he has a flaming sword!

No no no no Grandpa Loki no!!!! Also look at his magic! Fucking LOOK at it! He's strong! He's powerful! And he's a badass! Sorry Loki, grandpa Loki is now my favourite Loki. He literally recreated the entire Asgard! Grandpa Loki, no!! The helmet... It was all rusted and abandoned 😭 now I'm sad...

The soundtrack is gorgeous. I need it as my ringtone right nao!

Why does the puppet master behind the TVA live at Hogwarts? Are you telling me they're going to find Dumbledore in there? Is this one of his 'for the greater good' schemes?