#im not even changing the coloring anymore
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Should've been honest, should've told the truth...
#911#buddie#911edit#buddieedit#911 on fox#911 fox#911 abc#evanbuckleyedit#eddiediazedit#my edit#otp: you don't need to pretend with me#usercam#at this point i should have a cemetery tag lol#i need a maisie tag#and a pining eddie tag#'Anna how many sets where you put the exact same 100 frames of eddie under some heartbreak lyric are you gonna make?'#all of them okay#ALL OF THEM#im not even changing the coloring anymore#i just put the text in and move#yeah#the cemetery is my roman empire#lol#911verse#evan buckley#eddie diaz
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might come back someday to clean him up or do a better piece for him but. here's what i have for now??
eastern dragon doesn't make sense canonically but this is already so far from canon i don't care anymore
how do you even attach a bird to an eastern dragon they’re just noodles (i settle for neck fluff)
#laios would pass out on sight probably#im so tempted to draw another of him#i might make his clothing even more losse/torn#the og dragon is western but i dont care anymore give me noodle#no but for real how do you fuse a bird with an eastern dragon#i couldn't decide on mane color so I might change later#i gave him little antlers and face scales cause why the hell not#his eyes were also originally gold but i decided to keep em black?#actually i'm probably gonna increase dragon part size#brother is dead inside#shuro#toshiro nakamoto#シュロ#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#ダンジョン飯#my art#chimera toshiro au
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youidraw.com was lowkey a little disappointing
#bandit's doodles#grian#mumbo jumbo#waffle duo#is waffle duo even their duo name anymore#this must be some kind of sick joke right#Just for a bit in his video#Im calling it rn#It can't be permanent#waffle duo will live on forever#big fan of the grey hairs but the waffle man#think of the waffle#cue montage of all the waffle fun we've had over the seasons#now for the website#The setup looks great#looks professional#my expectations were high#They should not have been based on my last reviews#it had an eraser but it just didn't work?#whenever I tried to change the brush size it would just revert to the huge default??#It had that color picker thing with the gradient which was great#But whenever I tried to switch colors#the last brush stroke I did would change color#the selection tool was fine but when I tried to move things it was being so difficult#this might just be a mobile problem but still a problem#But there was this massive ad on the side of the screen so I didn't get the optimal canvas access#the stabilizer on the pencil was horrendous#that little 'no waffle :(' on mumbos head took like 8 tries for it to look legible in any way#Thats why I just used the text for grian which worked fine#actually 4/10 it looks good but works badly
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Yesterday I was replaying Deltarune and I was going really insane about it picking up on things I missed on my first playthrough and something that fucked me up hard was this line here
The little ellipsis at the end, almost like you can hear the regret on their voice. Voice of an ad who is realizing maybe they fucked up on this one. But it also made me think of... The possibility of this being a reaction to Spamton's actions.
Because I don't think this was an automatic thing, I feel like their drifting off was gradual. Sure, their jealousy had won them over (I'd have killed the guy or myself if I was them so I don't even blame them) but Spamton was too getting busier and busier the more famous he got, and as they say, that never stopped. He only kept getting bigger, until it all came crashing down. And when it did it was one of them who tried to go find him, after all that.
But I digress, let's focus on the original quote from my favorite sigma enby themselves, Pink Addison. There's obviously not only the regret to it, but feeling like they were abandoned too. Both parties lost a lot and the real tragedy is just how easily it could've have been avoided! Or rather, how beyond their control it was...
But I'll get off topic if I keep speaking so I'll leave it at that. The sheer tragedy that there is to everyone involved just makes me insane. Like I said in a post previous to this; you cannot trace down a good guy or a bad guy in this tale, it's just desperate people taking awful decisions and living to regret their actions.
#luly talks#makes you wonder too like#THIS IS GOING ON THE TAGS BC IM JUMPING THE GUN TOO HARD#but after Pink says rhat they follw by saying ''even so he only got more and more successful'' and its making me FEEL something alright#that EVEN SO. like. were they expecting for him to... stop? to slow down? to give up his overwhelming fame to get them back?#there's so many things i just can't say because we know very little of the addisons and big shot era spamton#we dont even know if they were aware this is how he ended. we dont even know if Spamton tried to go back to them or if he totally refused to#it makes me sick it makes me insane i want to grab these colorful things and squish then on my palm#there's a lot of What Ifs but i think the answer wouldn't even matter because nothing could change anymore#its sososososososoooooo sad#like i see fandom woobify Spamton a lot and i HATE that sure he went thru a lot but he's a grown ass desperate man#he's not a poor uwu cinnamon roll he's insane and he's an asshole and he's a nuanced tragic character#and so are these motherfuckers!!!!!!#btw i originally had a paragraph about how mad I'd have been if i was an Addison but i ended up rewriting the whole post LMAO#anyway. yeah. it just makes me insane.#deltarune#Spamton#addisons
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I like the uh
hmm
im just gonna call it a profile picture for now
I dunno what to really call it
Yee I'd call it that! I like to cycle between characters for every chapter so far ... I might switch it up more often bc I've been so slow finishing this chapter though...
From this panel~
#i try to change the color palette kf the site as well for funsies#to match with what ive got currently even though im not doing color toned monochrome anymore#tis fun!
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WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.
#.TXT#THEY FUCKED WITH DMS TOO IM GOING TO KILL SOMEONE#WHY WOULD YOU CHANGE IT. I LIKED IT HAVING THE COLORS OF THE OTHER PERSON’S THEME IT WAS LIKE I WAS INSIDE THEIR HOUSE :(#AND YOU CANT EVEN ACCESS THE OTHER PERSON’S BLOG THRU DMS ANYMORE LIKE YOU USED TO BE ABLE TO. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I RELIED ON THAT.#HELL ON EARTH.
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got home from work walked in the door looked at my phone and watched four email notifications pop in at once. turned off notifications
#ignore me#FUCK!!!!!!!!!! FUCK.#god this week sucks so bad i am getting pelted with constant requests for edits to student testing schedules#which each require me to change info in three different menus and update three different spreadsheets#sometimes multiple tabs on those spreadsheets#im absolutely dead on my feet by the end of the day#i can't get anything done because i'm constantly being interrupted#i missed two phone calls bc i was on. another phone call. that only lasted three minutes#i don't have the energy to draw anything :( i wanted to do more color palette requests#and the hotel's 5th anniversary is TOMORROW and i don't even have a sketch#UNFAIR!!!!! i wanted to do something special....#jobs suck fuck jobs forever i dont want a job anymore someone take my job please
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#kommento#soujiventures#// <- guy who is so sick of their own art they just stop making things for weeks so they don't go insane over seeing the same thing#// over and over again#// guy who is on that dip in their art journey and can't take anything they make and see it all as tasteless and repetitive#// I can change my brush and use a different color and try and change my art style it just doesn't work man#// EVEN MY WRITING. you're joking right. I can't enjoy words anymore.#// if this keeps up I won't be able to eat my own food lol#// still love the thoughts in my head but if I keep getting dissatisfied w everything coming out of my head I dont think im going anywhere#// the only solution is for you to jack straight into my head and eat my thoughts maybe then my skull won't feel like it's going to burst#// what's the closure on this one. idk I love you guys goodnight to me
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fuck it im watching the (other) mermaid magical girl show
<- obsessed with magical boys and girls and merpeople
#no the OTHER other mermaid magical girl show#wait ok i just looked it up on crunchyroll holy shit there's SO MANY i didn't realize this was like fi/nal fan/tasy there's so many...#not all of them have mermaids tho. wadda hell#cruddy rambles#i know this is because as a trans dude i intentionally removed myself from feminine stuff out of fear of being perceived as a girl as a kid#you know ye olde 'i HATE pink stop FORCING pink on me' -> 'actually pink is such a nice color now that im not being forced into it'#so now that i know myself im exploring it like ''hey this stuff actually slaps AND i get to be a dude 'despite' liking it''#i can have my cake and eat it too and if you're mad about it then die mad about it bc im not changing for anyone anymore#rahhhhh rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#and im gonna watch it while beating the fuck outta people in skyrim. very much looking forward to it actually.#update:#so i didn't realize this entire show is gonna be about putting on make-up ;-;#episode 1 was uhhhhhhhh. well... they REALLY like lipstick. im happy for them don't get me wrong but this is not for me LOL#makeup gave me serious self image issues sooo i do not feel good watching this even if the message is just 'wear it and be confident'#which like. i probably could've guessed from the name? but tbh i thought it was like... magical girl 'make-up' not LITERAL makeup#happy for everyone who likes it tho! mermaids are awesome and the characters seem great i am just getting ick-ed by the focus makeup has
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i cant believe the day but i finally got a full tower pc. bought it already built and at a considerable discount of some 320 dollars off. its fucking huge and theres so many things going on inside... i was initially planning on choosing the parts myself but finding the graphics card was so hard and everyone else convinced me to just buy it built and honestly? good. id probably have fucked this up so badly by myself
i cant use it yet bc i took too long to buy the monitor that was also on sale and now its regular price -_- tho i managed to find a discount used one for now. well see how that goes since ill get it tomorrow. i tested it on out living room tv and it had some kaspersky thingy open and like thats so cute. i hope they left some treats in the browsing history for me to search through before i wipe it clean
#its a hexer case and wouldnt you guess the front has a hexagonal pattern. so pretty..#it came with 3 fans installed there too that have a cmyk color style to them and it looks quite neat. im thinking of buying some leds to pu#inside the case to go with my keyboard tho idk if id go that far tbh (< gamer rot is setting in. im not immune to pretty lighting..)#its also got a lot of unused space inside. im thinking of making more sculptures to put in. though idk if thatd be safe for it#bc cold porcelain is glue and water. what if it evaporates inside and suddenly everythings covered in a glue film#i wonder if varnish would help? the transparent nail polish sure didnt do shit it came off like 2 days after sculpting the rw slug sleeping#which like yeah of course. its nail polish. but i didnt expect it to flake since all it does is sleep on top of my laptop keyboard#i need miniature glass cake cover tops to encapsule every sculpture inside for safety#looking at it still no wonder these are called towers gotdamn its legit so huge..#it looks awkward tho bc i cant fully make it glue to the wall bc of the cables so its like. awkwardly a bit in front of the wall#im scaared as to how to tell if it ever gets too hot. on a laptop u just press ur head against the left half and feel how hot it is#i think im gonna need software for this.. sigh. tho maybe ill never get to that point since its supposed to be decent#AND its not 8 years old + the 3 fans and gpu fan and cpu fan. surely thats enough. the case even has space for more than that!!#the acrylic side reflects my keyboard too. so niceys. stimulation for my creature eyes#my desk is gonna be so fucked up when i have to organize everything too bc the one i have now is perfecly laptop-oriented#it sits on a custom wooden desk and the keyboard+drawing tablet sit below. but theres a shelf on top of my desk thats too low for the>#>normal monitor to sit to so i wont be able to use the custom desk. and i dont even know what ill do with my laptop either#finally a good change in my sad life routine fr. i cant wait to play watchdogs on this and overgrowth and other ones#AND LAGLESS KRITA SMUDGE ENGINE BRUSHES!!! AND DOUBLE BRUSHES. THEYRE SO LAGGY#A N D ACTUAL FULL HD NORMAL MONITOR. maybe that will get me to not draw in small canvases anymore#now im anxious i just want the day to be over to get the monitor tomorrow aouugh.. just bc i started coding my resources neocities page#dextxt#<the 'major life events' ((sorta)) tag returns. one for the books.. if something bad happens.. itll be here to remind me of the good times
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i am going to bite what is this sudden rage lol
#text#rambling ran#might be body dysmorphia!!#i hate how i look#im not even me anymore#i wanna color my hair something else#i want to lighten it#i want to chop it all off#i want to grow it out#i want to change my whole face#disassemble my body#.........#maybe i should get into doll making#yeah....#im just going to make a stuffed toy tomorrow and hopefully this will pass#if it doesnt ill delete all my selfies from my phone
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BECAUSE THE TUMBLR APPEARANCE EDITOR KILLED MY GRANDAMA, OKAY??!??
#IM GONNA CRSFMCMA3RMEAMFMNSDGKOGJRTHREG0W#im so upset TUMBLRRRRR#the blog edtior is fine... like thats allgood the customization is fine.#the appearance editor however. WHAT#anyway i redid my entire theme on sistertosleep-2022 and then i did my blog theme and#i refreshed the theme a million times to make sure it was there then after i did my blog theme. IT WAS GONE#WHATTT WHAT HWHAT.???#soxnics having a thought tag but its a different blog now#the worst part is for sure the fact that if the accent colors and the main color are 'too close' the accent color will change to a complete#ly different color.#WHEN THEY ARENT ACTUALLY EVEN CLOSE AT ALL. what.#also the fact that i cant use hex codes in the appearance editor anymore. what
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i actually do like jewellery as a gift bc when i wear it i feel like i have a part of the people who gifted it with me
#like these pearls from my best friend which are in 3 colors and remind me that i can be myself and that i always have her#i didnt even like pearls before she gifted them to me#and this golden necklace which has a quote and initials from my friends and i always joke that its for whenever i ever get lost those were#the people i should be taken to bc they are my home#and they are not my home anymore but i still get soft when i am around them so yknow#and then these earrings from my guy friends and i never thought they would get me jewellery on their own bc its just not their type of gift#well i didnt expect a gift at all now that i moved out and im the only one gifting them#but its cuz its how i let people know im thinking of them#anyways they got me these silver blue flower pandora earrings#and i dont have a lot of silver and i dont have anything blue BUT THEY ARE SO PRETTY#and they chose them themselves and i wanted to cry and i am wearing them now and i love them so much bc they remind me im not alone#and that i do have people to play board games with which is silly but important to me bc family game time has been dead ever since dad move#for work#and those silly gooses even asked me if i wanted to change them but that damn site cant have anything prettier than what the people#i hold dear chose for me#also i would like to add every bracelet my friends made me as a kid#they are boxed jewels of time
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oh twitter bookmarks, facebook saved, instagram saved, tiktok bookmarks, tumblr likes, my beloveds (i will never ever open them again)
#be going 'oop ill save that for later' and then finding it in 3 yrs going 'wtf is this'#i still have bookmarks for belle parker. im not sure anyone here even remembers who that bitch is#she was my beloved my most babygirl oc in i think 2016-2018? ish?#she was the It Girl the Solo Blog the creator of the connected ocs universe#but i think the last time i wrote her was. Before Covid so its been a Hot Minute#but i still have stuff bookmarked in instagram in a little section just for her#if she ever comes back im ready for the edits#god she was the first (only?) time i edited icons to have a different hair color#but never permanently bc as we all know i never saved icons i made them as i went I'd write a reply then make the icon from scratch#awful method dont recommend it thats why i dont use icons really anymore#but i remember spending Hours editing purple hair on that bitch and the shade changed every single time#she was iconic tho. absolute queen. blueprint for every oc that came after her and im so serious#list any trait u have seen in a muse i write and i can probably trace it back 2 belle#if i looked back on her backstory im kinda convinced that she and cassie would have major crossover#belle had a twin brother. I think belle and cassie are the only time ive ever had twin ocs?#oh no wait there was my guy whos superpower was controlling glitter and his twin who could teleport and was evil#and the tweevils not ocs tho#do i have more twin ocs. genuinely no clue i am now only thinking ab 2016 era ocs i had#i think some of u may underestimate how little i remember ab my muses and blogs#if its not one of the it girl muses of the month (kurt jason cassie tate) then i can not tell u if they r on my multi or not. i dont know#obvi liam and cooper r special cases bc they technically have solo blogs rn#but at any given time u could just say i write someone that ive written in the past and I'll believe u
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Going apeshit atm because I finally figured out how to be able to use Nicco (since he wasn't my OC). Essentially I am stealing him and making him a whole new person
#technically I believe my ex bff gave Nicco to me but I can't exactly remember#even if it is tru I don't want any connections to that asshole anymore anyways#so yeah “Nicco” is my oc now#I am still using that name in reference to him during his time with Gesshoku 'cause that is still what he's called at the time#but basically after he vanishes he changes his name and whole identity#even changes his hair color and hairstyle#when he was with Gess he had black hair in an emo cut#I haven't decided what he looks like now. I'm thinking he's a brunette#but I have to find a good faceclaim for him before I decide anything#I also need to choose a new name#“Nicco” changed his name also because he's now part of a cult (the danger he predicted he would bring to Gessy if he stayed with her)#he's in it against his will. his parents forced him to join with him#amd now he'd being used as a tool#poor dude#but anyways Im excited for the character this dude is going to become#edit: alright I've given him a new name now#he's now called Max Barker#because he's the cult's trained dog :)#max things
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Part 5 of Obsessive!johnny
(CW: extremely dubious consent; I’d go so far as to say straight non-con. No violence. Please be safe, beans! 💕)
It’s your own fault - or no. That’s a dangerous way of thinking it not your fault. But you got complacent. Got desensitized to that looming sense of danger, the threat hiding in the shadow of his eyes. That little voice in the back of your head became background noise, not the guide it used to be.
All it took was a slip of your carefully crafted mask understanding Johnny’s “love” for you. Just one careless comment, a tone too honest.
You don’t even remember what you said now. Just that the feverish light in his eyes changed instantly. Like a shift in sunlight through colored glass. What frightened you was how his expression changed, shut down hard. His jaw tensing, brows going deceptively smooth.
“Is all this not enough for you?” he asks, taking big, measured steps towards you.
You start backing up, heart tripping over itself. “That’s not-“
“How many ways do you need me to prove it, hm?” he asks. “I’ve apologized a hundred times, bonnie, haven’t I? Is that not enough for you? I’m still not worth it to you?”
You put your hands up, all your carefully crafted and scripted responses fleeing in the face of this new, unfamiliar Johnny. He’s - he’s angry at you. Not because of you, or for you, but at you.
“I’ve been patient, haven’t I?” he continues, low voice wavering with something frightening. “Do you know how hard it is, seeing you cry for a life that wasn’t good enough for you? Do you have any idea how hard I’ve been trying?”
You swallow thickly, try to rally your scrambled thoughts. He just working himself up more and more and that voice that fell so quiet is screaming now. So loud it’s hard to make your mouth work.
“I-I know. I’m sorry,” you manage. “Im just… I lost my temper and said something I didn’t mean…”
His eyes narrow. “Oh, no, hen. I think you meant it.”
He up close to you now, barely a centimeter of space between your bodies. The heat of him is suffocating. You’ve never been so aware of how much bigger than you he is. It thrilled you when he’d loom over you at the bar, cocky confidence and easy smiles.
You meet his eyes.
And for a moment, he softens. You have the briefest golden flicker of hope.
And then he sighs. Deep and resigned. Your stomach flips.
“It’s my fault,” he mutters finally, shaking his head. “Haven’t been treating you right, have I?”
You don’t dare answer.
“Treating you like you’re one thing when you’re really everything.”
You open your mouth, try to speak, to reason with him. He just shushes you with a hand on your cheek, thumb pressing your lips closed.
“Always spoiling you like the princess you are, when sometimes you need to be treated like a slut.”
He jerk’s you around and shoves you onto the bed, plants a big hand between your shoulder blades and presses.
“Soap!”
“Hush up, baby, it’s alright. You don’t have to pretend to be all prim and proper,” he soothes, knocking your feet apart. “I don’t think any less of you for needing cock. Only natural.”
Your underwear rips like wet paper, accompanied by your high-pitched squeal of alarm. He makes a low, rough noise. Pure, animal lust. The fabric of his pants chafes against the backs of your thighs.
“Oh, there she is,” he purrs, “just like I thought.”
You cry out as rough fingers drag through your slit, gathering the slick you can’t believe is leaking from you.
“I’ve been so bad to you, bonnie, not treating you the way you need. No wonder you got all fussy and snappy.” The hazy thought that he might not he talking to you at all anymore burns through you. When you shift, trying to close your legs self-consciously, a sharp slap to your clit collapses your knees.
“We’re gonna set you right, babygirl,” he growls. “Won’t be able to worry your pretty little head anymore.”
He plunges two fingers into you without preamble. The stretch is vicious, but it doesn’t hurt. Not really. You’re too wet. Still, you scream - because Johnny’s spent so many hours playing with you, learning you, that he knows exactly where to press and curl and rub his fingers.
“Wait, wait,” you gasp, tears already collecting in your eyes because he’s being mean about it, twisting to grind his thumb against your clit. It’s too much, you’re not ready no matter what your body says. “Soap, don’t- ngh!”
“Gonna show you why you’re better off here. Right here. Gonna give this pretty cunt what it needs.”
The third finger is a stretch. You try to get away, try to crawl onto the bed to run, but he stomps a boot onto the chain around your ankle and flattens you to the mattress.
“Keep pretending if you want, baby,” he murmurs, “I know what you really need now.”
He’s withdrawing his fingers while you’re still pleading and babbling. You’re horrified to realize you don’t know if you want them back. It doesn’t matter though. Because Johnny’s cock is splitting you open before you can decide, thicker and longer than you’ve ever taken. He curses and groans as he pushes into you, inch by hot inch. Until you feel the fat leaking head tap at your cervix and he grinds, balls kissing your clit.
“T-too much!” you sob. “‘S too much!! Johnny, Johnny, please!”
Heat floods you as he shudders, hips jerking hard and rough. By your head, his fist is white-knuckled in the sheets.
“Did… did you just…?”
“Say my name again,” he snarls.
You blink wetly. “W-wha…?”
“Say. It. Again.” Each word punctuated by a brutal thrust. Something drips down your thigh.
“J-Johnny,” you keen, trying to beg for mercy.
“Jus’ like that.” He’s still hard. Still so fucking hard it’s like you’ve been edging him for hours. Like he didn’t just flood your poor pussy with cum.
“Been dreaming of you saying my name. Haven’t all this time,” he pants, rocking into you hard and fast. Any semblance of restraint is long gone. “Now I know why. Finally fuckin’ earned it. Gonna keep earnin’ it from now on.”
He fucks you so hard the bed leaves dents in the wall. Forces a hand beneath your pelvis to pinch your clit between two fingers and hurtles you shrieking into an orgasm. He doesn’t stop, doesn’t pause for a single beat. Just hitches your knee up onto the mattress and somehow fucks into your harder, faster, deeper. His fingers rub cruel circles into your oversensitive clit and you burn.
“No, no, wait, Johnny- ah! No, I’m gonna - it feels like-”
Wet heat gushes from you, spilling down your thighs, all over the bed and floor. You - you -
“Fuck, you squirted everywhere, good fuckin’ girl, princess.” He slows just a bit, presumably to appreciate the mess you’ve made. You’re too far gone on shock and awful pleasure to do more than sniffle and hiccup pathetically.
And then a death sentence.
“Do it again.”
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