#im losing my mind oh im losing my mind

[turrondeluxe]

im truly going to do it this time

[soulreader05]

AHHHHHH

Where the Wild Things Are - Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen: Family Reunion

Plot: Wild men or monstrous infected creatures, the world is wild and ravaged by Cordecyps but some are raised in it and flourish becoming a wild thing.

Word Count: 3.3K

Pairing: Joel Miller x Platonic!Teen!Reader, Ellie Williams x Platonic!Reader

Warnings: canon-typical fighting/violence, injuries, harsh language, tw: description of intense injuries (DISLOCATIONS/BURNS), trauma from abusive mother, description of child neglect/abuse, GROSS MEN ALERT!

—————

I'm going there to see my mother She said she'd meet me when I come

I'm just a-goin' over Jordan I'm just a-goin' over home

I'm going there to see my father I'm going there, no more to roam

I'm just a-goin' over Jordan I'm just a-goin' over home

The Tipsy Bison ha a stillness that the patrons noticed the normal presence of Joel Miller but tonight it was much more intimidating as he waited there. Ellie returns holding a glass for Joel and herself, his signature whiskey on the rocks, and water for herself.

“You’re too filled with anxiety you gotta chill,” Ellie pushes the drink to him and he gives the girl a look before accepting a drink. He takes a bitter sip from it before looking out the window to the approaching sunset.

“It’s sundown,” Joel says trying to stand but Ellie forces him back down.

“Come on Joel have some faith in him,” Ellie reassures him and he huffs but settles back in his seat taking his drink down like a shot. There seemed like a sort of tension in the air just waiting for something to snap. The door to the Tipsy Bison opens and Joel relaxes seeing it is only his brother who enters. Tommy comes over to the table and pulls up a chair.

“Look I talked to Maria and the council the best they can offer is removing both Y/n and Lila from the house until we can get to the bottom of it. But if neither Y/n nor Lila give us evidence that abuse or anything is happening in that home…” Tommy hesitates to speak knowing it would piss Joel off, “They would go back to them.”

“That’s bullshit, Tommy. She goes Y/n wrapped around her finger, she could beat her black and blue, and still she would defend her.” Joel says slapping his palm on the table.

“Look I know it’s not ideal but it’s the best we can offer,” He raises his hands in defense, “I also talked to Maria about other stuff though…Joel, when’s the last time we saw Y/n’s mother?” Both Joel and Ellie give him a confused look at the absurd question.

“Just answer for my sanity.” Tommy urges and Joel thinks about the last time they interacted.

“Probably in the early years of the outbreak, we were all together in Dallas before we split,” Joel explains and Tommy nods.

“So say like…about eighteen years ago,” Tommy says and Joel unconsciously nods if his math was right yeah around that time.

“Holy shit,” Ellie says having caught on and Joel gives her a confused look before looking over at his brother.

“What?”

“Did you hook up with Y/n’s mom?” Ellie asks quite loudly and Joel shushes her looking around to make sure no one heard. “I’m serious did you?” Joel looks over at his brother with a face reading ‘Well did you?’ he sighs pinching his bridge.

“It was only a few times,” Joel mumbles, and Tommy coughs under his breath ‘Bullshit’ which Joel glares at him but takes in the implication. “There’s no way she’s…”

“Joel think about it, I didn’t even notice it but she looks like a mixture of you and her mother but she acts fully like you,” Tommy explains and Joel looks away, “You haven’t looked at her and not seen yourself…or even Sarah?” The comment of his deceased daughter makes him turn to his brother and Tommy can see it on his face. He has thought about it, it’s been on his mind since that night he brought you home from the clearing. Why does he keep blending memories of Sarah with you when you should have no place in his mind or heart? But he can’t help it.

“Let’s say she is. You saw her reaction to seeing her mother and her father, who could be her actual father,” Joel says and Tommy gives him a look.

“That man looks nothing like her, sure Lila does but Y/n no fucking way,” Tommy says and Joel sighs putting his head in his hands. There had to be a reasonable explanation for all of this. Your mother had to know who the father was, and if he was the father why would she keep it from him? Unless she didn’t learn until after they parted ways and there was no chance of reconnecting in this world. Too many thoughts ran through his head and he wanted to just be clear of them.

A loud crack fills the air and everyone in the bar is brought to the attention an edge to the room. Joel sits up straight and his gaze darts around at the other patrons who seem to freeze trying to listen to what that noise is. The doors to the bar swing open and Joel catches a glimpse of your father with a shotgun before it erupts into chaos.

A round shatters the table within the time Tommy flips the table over to shield them as Joel grabs Ellie protecting her from the blown-off wood.

“Joel Miller!” Derek shouts and another shot is fired but not aimed at them but at the bar. Joel flinches seeing the barkeep sent back dead before he hits the ground with the shotgun he tried using in his grasp. Other patrons scream ducking to hide from the violence happening before them. “Come on out Joel…I wanted to ask some advice you know father to father.” His voice calls out and Joel keeps his back pressed against the wood glancing over at the shotgun that lies just feet away.

“Tommy get Ellie out of here, find Maria, and get the girls out of here,” Joel whispers to his brother and Ellie gives him a look.

“We’re not leaving you, Joel!” Ellie whisper-shouts.

“I’ll be fine! Ellie listens to Tommy do everything he says,” Joel orders, and Ellie frowns but nods, “On my signal you to head to the kitchen door.” Both Tommy and Ellie nod as Joel grabs the whiskey glass calming his racing heart. Quickly he rises and throws the glass at Derek hitting him on the head Joel rushes to the bar as Ellie and Tommy rush to the kitchen doors. Derek fires at the doors as the swing closes. Leaning against the bar counter the shotgun in his hands silently looking to see it loaded with two shells.

“No one else needs to get hurt Joel,” Derek calls out sounding closer, “I’m dying to ask for your opinion since you’ve been with my wife. Do you think Y/n will be just as good?” Red takes over his vision as his finger rests on the trigger.

“I mean after I kill you I’ll go show the kid some father love,” He laughs cynically, “Before I then blow her brains out.” Instantly, Joel appears when Derek turns away shooting at his knee. Derek screams falling to the ground and Joel kicks away the shotgun and sends a swift kick to his ribs forcing him on his back.

“Where is she?!” Joel yells and Derek laughs already knowing he’s dead. “Where is she!” He roars.

“She’s dead even if you find her. Every raider wants her head on a spike.” Derek says and there’s a flash of silver as he tries to stab Joel but he easily pulls the trigger killing him right there and then. Emptying the chamber, Joel searches Derek finding a handgun with a few clips, and takes his neck. The patrons hidden in the Tipsy Bison perk up now that the threat was eliminated.

“Barricade yourselves in,” Joel says passing Derek’s shotgun off to one of the people that he’s seen on patrols, “Don’t let anyone that you don’t recognize.” He says before leaving the bar and seeing the chaos happening outside immediately thrown into fighting for his life. He was going to find you even if he was going to die doing it.

You fight at the restraints in the dark pulling with all your strength to try and free yourself. You bite down on the rag and pull your left hand with all your strength feeling the burn and pain as you scream. A sickening pop as your thumb is dislocated immediately swells and hurts as you scream. Sliding your hand free as it fits through the restraint, you reach over to start undoing the other strap. Only a sliver of light comes from outside but it’s past sunset which only makes it darker. With your other hand free you sit up and work at the restraints on your feet, your stomach aches with the still raw burns. The sudden pop that fills the air makes you freeze until you hear screams fill the air. Hopping off the table and feeling around for a light switch the room was bathed in light blinding you for a second. Grabbing the door handle and tugging at the door handle it doesn’t budge as more pops and screams fill the air. Looking around the basement it just looks like storage of random junk of whoever was the previous owner. In the far back, you find an old recurve bow with a quiver of arrows. Slinging the bow and quiver over your shoulder you head to the window high in the air. Pushing the table as it scratches the floor to the window you stand on it undoing the latch, easily breaking the flimsy screen where you slide the bow and quiver through before sliding out afterward. Slinging the quiver your shoulder already nocking an arrow feeling the pain in your thumb holding the bow but you push through. You are between two houses and you follow to where the window to your bedroom should be it is slightly opened and you push it further and you climb inside. You are silent as you leave the room entering the hallway on the first floor, creeping along the walls peering into any open rooms not finding anyone on the first floor but the aftermath of what you assume the raiders preparing their attack. You hear movement upstairs and you freeze aiming your bow at the stairs where you hear the heavy footsteps, a man most likely moves amongst the top floor and you map out where he’s heading. He opens a door and you stare at the ceiling where he would be, he’s in the bathroom. Stalking up the stairs avoiding easily the ones that creak finding yourself at the top landing and you see on the other end of the hallway a man with his back towards you taking a piss with the door wide open. Raising the bow you watch him finish his business zipping up his pants as he turns a rifle slung over his back. His eyes widen as the life leaves him and the arrow goes straight through his eye as he falls back crashing into the toilet. Lowering the bow you move into the path raiding him of any belongings, taking the automatic rifle that you sling over your shoulder, and shoving the multitude of extra clips into your pockets, you take his knife tucking it in your belt and he also has a handgun with only a clip full while taking a thigh holster.

“Hello? Momma? Daddy?” You hear Lila’s voice call out and you rush back to where her bedroom is trying to open the door but it’s locked.

“Lila I need you to do me a favor,” You say, “I need you to go in the closet and cover your ears for me. Don’t come out until I say so.” You hear some shuffling before she calls out again.

“I’m in the closet!” Taking the handgun pressing it as close to the door lock as possible and pulling the trigger. A loud noise fills the room and you step back before sending a harsh kick to the door and it easily flies open. Rushing into the room you open the closet door seeing Lila hidden within the hangers her hands still covering her ears. She rushes into your arms and you hold her tight pulling her back to look over her and she has no injuries besides teary eyes.

“I heard screams…and you have a bunch of ouchies,” She says tearing up and you wipe them away.

“I’m alright Lila but we aren’t safe here we have to go,” You say and you find your pack in her room loading it up with some of her clothes before putting it over your shoulders situating your weapons, the bow over your shoulder and the arrows held from your pack, you hold the rifle in your hands.

“Where are we going?” She asks looking at you in her hands clutching one of her stuffed animals. You weren’t sure where, if Jackson was compromised you didn’t know. You weren’t even sure if the others were alive. You could go back to the cabin to recuperate before heading North. Your original plan when you first met Tommy and Jesse, reach Canada and start fresh there.

“We’re heading to my home,” You say, bending down and holding her cheeks, “I need you to be brave and listen to everything I say you understand.” She nods her head and you press a kiss on her forehead.

“Okay let’s go,” You hold her hand as she follows you as you head down the stairs making sure she doesn’t see in the bathroom before stopping right before the front door. You just needed to get to the stables get Red saddled up and you were out of here. Part of you wanted to try and find the others but the little girl clutching your leg is your priority.

Get to the stables, tack up Red, head to the cabin, and then head north.

You take a deep breath removing the safety of the rifle before opening the door and seeing the empty streets before you, “Come on.” Quickly you head down the street seeing some of the bodies on the street, some are people of Jackson but others you don’t recognize, raiders you have to guess. You hear Lila whimper silently crying.

“Don’t look at them, Lila.” You order and she clutches onto the strap of your backpack as you both continue down the streets. It seemed the more residential areas were deserted or already run through as the number of raiders and Jacksonian people fought towards the main gate. Sticking to the alleys and familiar paths you took to avoid the main street when working at the stables. You’re quick and efficient in taking down raiders before they even react to you and Lila. You press against the half-wall of the market stalls glancing at the stables that were so close. You just need to get there and tack up Red and you’d be good.

“M/n!” A voice calls out your mother’s name and you flinch and you see Lila perk up about to speak but you cover her mouth. She struggles a bit but you hold a finger to your mouth telling her to be quiet and she settles. “We found Derek’s body dumped outside the bar, we still haven’t found Miller yet.” You hear your mother curse.

“Fucking find him already, it’s a small town he can’t hide far.”

“Another thing, we stopped at the house…Issac is dead and your daughters are gone..” The man says and your mother bursts into rage.

“Fucking find that piece of shit and kill her!” She roars and people rush off. Settling down until the loud pop fills the air too close for comfort and a shoot-out ensues. Holding Lila tight to you as her cries muffled in your shirt.

“It’s Miller!” Someone shouts and you perk up. He was near but you didn’t know which one, Maria, Tommy, or Joel. Looking back at the stables seeing an opening with everyone distracted, slinging the rifle over your shoulder before turning to Lila.

“I need you to be extremely quiet and once we get inside go inside Red’s pen and hide in the hay can you do that?” You ask and she nods. You wait for the right timing before scooping her up and running full speed to the stables, and sliding through the gaps in the fences of the dry lot that connects to the stables on the opposite side of the fighting. Finding Red’s stable lifting her over and she drops down into the hay quickly hiding herself among it. Red paces already on edge from the fighting happening around them you hop over the wall into Red’s pen before heading outside the stables grabbing her saddle pad, the saddle, and her reins before rushing into the stall. Red moves impatiently filled with anxiety that you feel as well.

“I’m sorry Red I know this isn’t ideal,” You say throwing the saddle pad over her before quickly adding her saddle your hands shaking with the buckles to fully attach it. Each pop of gunfire only adds more fear to you. With her saddle secure you rip off your pack and strap it on the saddle, sliding the rifle into the holster built into the saddle. Grabbing the reins trying to gently and as fast as possible to get her bridle and bit on Red seems to understand the urgency and cooperates. With her all set you go to grab Lila when you hear someone stumble inside the stables curses coming from a gruff voice.

“Fucking dick,” He curses and you press yourself against the wall hearing an empty magazine fall to the ground and the sound of him fumbling with getting the other in when you strike. You rush up behind him pouncing on his burly back and digging your knife in his shoulder. He cries and slams his head back and you feel your nose crack but hold on. He tries shooting behind him but you keep close to him as you keep stabbing at him. He slams his back on a large pillar making you wheeze in pain but you see your stabs are getting to him as life drains from him. Giving a final stab he falls to his knees blood pooling around his head. Gasping for air to catch your breath when a hand grabs your hair and you scream as they drag you out of the stables.

“I found her!” They yell dragging you through a group of raiders who send glares and look thirsty for blood. You’re thrown to the ground smacked your face to the ground as you are pinned down. There is your mother speckled in blood looking down at you beside you is Joel pinned to the ground it doesn’t look great, blood but you aren’t sure if it’s his or others.

“It didn’t have to end up like this Y/n…if only you listened to your mother.” She says almost with pity and you growl thrashing in the raider's arms.

“You’re not my mother!” You hiss and she comes over kicking your square in your ribs making you cry out.

“Stop it!” Joel yells and she turns her attention to him.

“Oh no, you want to step up as a father?” Your mother spits, “You’re about eighteen years too late.” She turns back to you.

“Where’s Lila?” She demands and you glare at her.

“I’m not letting you hurt her.” You spat and she looked indifferent.

“You think I care about her, she’s just another burden like you were. That’s why I had to get rid of you,” Your eyes widen at her confession, “You were so stupid and willing to be snuck out of the QZ to find your dear mommy some medicine. You were supposed to get infected so we had an excuse to kill you, but you just had to live.” She crouches down and you hear the cocking of her gun as the cool metal presses against your forehead. You see Joel thrashing as he shouts but you don’t even hear it.

“Be glad I gave you the family reunion you were so desperate for,” Her finger rests on the trigger and you’re unsure why you aren’t afraid. Maybe you’ve expected death for a while, whether from something simple or by infected. To be executed by your mother in front of your father wasn’t how you thought it would go.

Where the Wild Things Are Tags

@afictionaladventure16 @amy172 @amyispxnk @ashisabitgay @batgurl42 @bobbypickl3 @christinamadsen @clovergray @cozyphine @daemontargaryenwhore @darthrue @daughterofthequeen @ellistyle @enamoredofbella @endo-bunny @enfppixie @enfppuff @feenoire @feralkidz @fictional-character-whore @frootloops1213 @gods-menace @gundham11037 @ilovehotdadsandshit @ioonatv @jmillersgirl @kaiwai @kitdjarin1 @lainekyuu @legoemma @lemonlaides @lorenaloveslewis @love-giselle @lovelyygirl8 @lunawants @maelartasch @marvelandhamilton @melonmochi @minaridior @mmkkzz @n7cje @oscarissac2099 @pandorascosmic @phoenixgurl030 @poetoflawed @queenofthekill @randomhoex @rannifer @rhaenyramistress @scoliobean @screechingsandwichtriumph @severussimp @sevikasleftarm @shotgun-shelby @stargurl99 @stickthegremlin @strangesthirdeye @supernerdycookietrashblrr @theclassicvinyldragon @theredvelvetbitch @todoroki-simp @tracysnook @viviio3o @wife-to-pedro-pascal @your-shifting-gurl

If your name is crossed out tumblr won’t let me tag you for some reason. Sorry :(

[not-equippedforthis]

forever mourning how granada holmes never adapted the three garridebs. diabolical. unbelievable, even. 'if you had killed watson you would not have made it out of this room alive' but in brett's frightfully intense and low, biting, hissing voice. the violent, wild stare versus the gentle hand on watson's knee. all of that precarious control getting flung out the window. the humanity of it. gritting my teeth can you fucking imagine.

[astrowarr]

grian is really embracing his watcher side, huh... he is hungry. he's spending so much of his time recklessly lining up dominoes, only for all of them to collapse on top of him. all three of his lives were lost setting up traps for someone else but it would be a lie to say they weren't for him, too; he said it himself. he doesn't care who the reds kill, so long as they do it. so long as he watches. because he needs it. he doesn't even truly care if he dies in the process anymore.

and this is proof that he's losing himself in it— bloodlust, that is, and his need to be its catalyst— because the lack of regard he's showing for his own life is spectacularly uncharacteristic of him. his need for control has just overwhelmed him. he's so desperate this season that it's actually dripping from him and it's driving me CRAZY. with all of this pent up murderous rage he's going to be HORRIFYING once he's red and can lash out with no holds barred

but that's exactly why he can never just watch anymore, isn't it? he dies and immediately vows to kill jimmy and scar until they're nothing. he feeds on control so much that it isn't enough to pull the strings of fate from above; he has to take care of it all himself, squeeze the beating heart of it in his warm, blood-soaked hands.

i don't know, this is all over the place. I really just can't wait until he's on his final life, frantic and maniacal as he perfectly enacts all these brilliant plans of his that everyone around him keeps butchering <3

[soulreader05]

…I really wanna make a kid oc for this man.

Walton Goggins as Jonathan Miller | Skinny Man in Fatman

+ an extra:

[foxstens]

kevin getting angry at neil for not taking his health seriously and telling neil to run then promising to teach him every night and keeping neil's binder safe without looking what's in it and calling wymack to make sure neil is okay after winter break and offering to talk about riko if neil wanted to

[b0tster]

oh my god im sobbing fucking glass beach shouted me out in the middle of their concert and said they liked my work what the fuckk 😭😭😭💙💙💙💙

[sstarfruitz]

Tried to draw in a way that’s more fun for me, lmk what you guys think!!

[bonbonly]

need a continuation of college au Charles actually taking away your panties because you’re so wet all the time fully knowing it’s because of him. Maybe he’ll plug your pussy up instead telling you that it’s just a treatment but the entire day (or days he plugs you) you’re squirming with every step not able to think about anything else. When you’re back with him for a check he plays with the plug a little making you so wet that he decides he needs to ‘drain’ you making you squirt

i actually started crying out loud reading this, anon, im actually so down bad now for college au charles leclerc and im not even a leclerc girlie pLEASE bon thoughts (18+)

poor you. you listened to collegeau!charles leclerc during the inspection and told yourself to not get wet. it was wrong! but every night when you went back to your dorm, all you could do was think about his fingers inside you, or his big cock bullying your cunt. he told you it was part of the procedure, but why did you want more?

charles is extremely cocky now that he knows he's the reason you keep drenching your panties, and he decides to tease you further. he knows you'll come back for him, so he doesn't have to worry too much about being safe with the boundaries and whatnot. besides, you promised to keep your pretty mouth shut and never tell a soul about what happens in the exam room. after all, both of you had a reptutation to maintain!

he takes your panties, telling you to never wear one from now on and to only ever wear skirts so that if you ever bend over in the library, everyone should see how your cunt is crying to be filled up, but no one would be allowed to touch. only he had that privilege. you nod your head at whatever he says, trusting him completely. he was the inspector, of course he knew better than you! he pulls out a small plug from his bag, and brings up to your mouth asking you to suck on it like you would to a lollipop. you nervously do so, looking at him to make sure you were doing it properly and once its wet enough he shoves it inside you, loving the way your back was arching already.

"whats this for?" you ask, furrowing your brows.

"just a check, really. you'll have to wear it until i see you next time, though. don't take it off at all, mon ange," charles instructs you.

the next time that you see him, you're whining and fussing. you're being a bit of a brat, squirming in your seat and begging him to take the plug out of you,

"i hate it! i hate it! it just feels so.... ugh," you whine out loud, bucking your hips in the air. you were chasing after something but you didn't know what. charles takes his gloves off, chucking them in a trash can nearby and rolls his chair over to where you're sitting. he taps your thighs, signaling for you to spread your legs under that miniskirt you were wearing and he's delighted to see that a) you weren't wearing panties and b) your cunt was squeezing that plug, your juices dripping down like a thunderstorm. he pulls the plug out just a few millimeters before shoving it back in you, and you're actually sobbing now,

"charles, no, no, no, please! please!"

"please what?" charles asks, and you shake your head,

"i... i dunno," you reply, your head falling back onto the bed with a thud as tears flow down your cheeks. he glances at the door behind him, making sure the room was locked before unbuttoning his shirt and taking it off of him.

"there's just too much, chérie, you're just too wet," he whispers against your cunt, toying more with the plug. your cunt keeps clenching around the toy, begging to have some relief because the torture you went through in a week was just too much for your poor little brain. charles takes the plug out for good, listening to your whimpers. he watch your hole pucker up at the cold air and he smiles, draping your legs over his shoulders. just the touch of his warm skin against yours makes you moan, wishing he'd do something about your aching pussy, that couldn't be normal right? he had to have some procedure for this!

"i might have to drain you out," charles looks up slightly to meet your eyes, and you're nodding your head,

"yes, yes, anything, charles, just do something!"

he's smirking at your reaction, mumbling to himself how desperate you were but it doesn't reach your ears because his tongue is licking long stripes against your folds. you moan out loud, bucking your hips up but charles holds you down against the table as his licks grow deeper, deeper into your hole. his nose rubs against your clit, and the small stubble he has on his chin prickles the inside of your thighs, making you jolt at each move of his head.

"i should've done the taste test weeks ago," he grunts, sucking your clit before flicking it with his tongue, "oh you taste divine, you taste amazing."

his tongue dances down to your entrance, and he bobs his head as he does so, watching you writhe above him as he adds two fingers. he's hell bent on seeing you come undone for good. he's picking up his pace, adding a third finger and pumping them faster inside you. he moves his head away to get a good look at your reactions, mouth wide open as your eyes are rolling to the back of your head. he has a thumb rubbing hard circles on your clit as he's curling his fingers right where you need him the most.

"c-charles! w-wait, oh my!" you're shrieking, feeling something grow inside of you that you didn't even think was possible. it was different than the feeling like last time, but this felt more intense. charles didn't stop his relentless assault and instead went right back to harshly sucking your clit as his fingers danced inside you.

and with a large scream, you're squirting all over his fingers, watching his mouth chase after your liquids, lapping at whatever he could taste as his fingers kept going. you look down to see his face covered in your juices, some of them dribbling down his bare chest. his lips are parted ever so slightly and he's licking them and biting the inside of his cheek, "I think we can do one more, right chérie?"

[aulerean]

a bamboozling turn of events

[just-null]

HELLO HANTENGU NATION (5 people)

I'VE MADE AN [unofficial] HEIGHT CHART FOR MYSELF

Hantengu: 5"5 (166cm) Sekido: 5"9 (175cm) Karaku: 5"9 (175cm) Urogi: 5"9 (175cm) Aizetsu: 5"9 (174cm) Zohakuten: 5"3 (160cm) Urami: 8"5 (257cm)

[little aftermath under the cut]

they're so annoying. peace is nonexistent... they're the best ever.

[xxfluffypuff]

Commission for a friend on discord!! Im.. OUGH I'm normal about him- 😅

[formulanni]

We stay losing

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[k3yboi]

do NOT talk to me rn bro 😭😭🙏

[jaylaxies]

i need him in ways that are concerning to humanity i fear