#im losing my fucking marbles

[gothicscribblesonwalls]

Yall know the drill

BRIGHTEYES

And a wip under the cut :>

Take a guess at who it is 😗

IF YOU GUESSED EVEN MORE BRIGHTEYES YOU'D BE CORRECT

IM ACTUALLY TWEAKING RN IDK WHY IM DOING THIS TO MYSELF

[wehaveagathering]

[projectchromie]

@thirteenyasmin This paragraph has just ended my life, thank you.

[slutbuny]

Oh this new dose of E and Prog has me damn near feral.

I need someone to romantically sink their fucking teeth into me. Ideally into my neck or shoulder.

Fuck.

[beetlejuicesgraveyardrevue]

gorgeous gorgeous fucking violence who do you wanna be who do you wanna be who do you wanna be when you grow up i wanna be a guitar

[butchdykekondraki]

why do i have ?? 100+ notifs again ???????????

[oasisofgalaxies]

IM GOING TO EAT MY PHONE

[imaginryfriend]

actually insane having your entire life fall apart in like two weeks. how is that allowed?

[the-unofficial-village-idiot]

Signs I'm fucking spiralling (sort of in order of intensity):

Oh, , we're really in it now.

Hurt/comfort fic time!

I should listen exclusively to the mountain goats and/or mccafferty

Rambling to myself alone in my car with the music turned up decently high

Reobsessing over shows I watched in middle school (either from before it got bad or from when it was really bad, depending on everything)

[featherburnt]

IM GOING TO GO FERAL IF I DONT DRAW SOMETHING HOLY SHIT

[i-trouted]

we were talking abt toadfish in my ichthyology class today and while explaining their reproduction my professor paused and said "what's an appropriate way to day this..." and then proceeded to refer to male fish releasing sperm as BLOWING THEIR LOAD as of that wasn't one of the most inappropriate ways to say it

[moth-guts-everywhere]

IM LOSING MY FUCK8NG MARBLES.

[dizzy-izzy-in-a-tizzy]

BRO THIS LASTED SO MUCH LONGER THAN SCREENCAPS MAKE IT SEEM

for science

[kipxan]

i, professorstar, writer of letters of recommendation, call upon the admissions office to look down on this undergraduate. she has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and i commend her to you as a graduate student in her turn.

[aumtzitism]

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)