#fen. fen i literally owe you my life.

[strangerhands]

OHMYGODOHKYGODOHMYGODOHNYGODOUHJTGOFOUKMGUODHDIOFHDKFNFNOHYMOFGGFKFNDJWYSKFHOHMYGOFOGHMFYOFHGKFOFUFNDKOUNKYIOFGFOHMYFUCKINGGOD FEN IM SCREAMING AND CREAMING AND RIPPING MY SHEETS APART HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE GASP I GUSPED UPON SEEING THIS IM GONNA EAT MY WALLS OHMYGOD IM GONNA BREAK MY FACE THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE YES LETS FUCKING GO BABY

*resisting the urge to copy and paste and react to every single fucking line there is because everything is too incredible*

OHMYFUCKINGGOD FEN. FEN. FEN FEN FEN. FEN. FENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. I AM SO INSANE OVER THEM GRHRJABFBBWJFBSHFBSJDDHDHDBG THIS WAS SO SO SO FUCKING GOOD AND HOT AND SEXY AND DELICIOUS AND SWEET AND BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT NMGNGBSHFBDKGBFEBFN FUCKKKKKK. i. i. i. iiiiii. i bow down to you. i am kneeling on the floor for you. i thank you. i owe you. my life. i will die for you. bless you fen. you are a master at your craft. thank you. thank you. thank you.

i literally teared up at this because of how insane and feral trine makes me. i am so dead serious. the visceral reactions this series pulls from me are no fucking joke. i really cant even just react to one single line right now because this whole reblog would just be me pasting out this entire fic and screaming about EVERYTHING.

thinking about AnselemxReaderxBlue where the reader wakes up to Anselem spooning baby Blue n playing with him while they wait for her to wake 👀 I can’t decide if she’d love watching them rock into each other or punish them for getting started without her

I am so sorry this took so long and also I got a bit carried away...

Trine [4]

Anselm Vogelweide X Blue Jones X F!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Part One • Trine Masterlist • Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? • request info • ko-fi •

Series Masterlist

Warnings: errrrrrrr, reader is married to Anselm, Anselm refers to reader as ‘my love’, Blue being such a sub, begging, teasing, edging, dacryphilia - a bit, p in v sex, hand jobs, spanking, anal fingering, cream pies, oral (f receiving), there's the smallest bit of german in here, typos, please let me know if I've missed a warning!

Word Count: 2490

________________________________

Blue whimpers weakly, pressing his face into the pillow to try to quieten the moans that catch in his throat. 

Anselm growls softly behind him, his chest pressed against his back and nipping lightly at his earlobe before sucking hard at his neck. Blue sobs, his spine bowing as Anselm’s hand keeps fisting his cock, speeding up and then slowing down the second Blue tries to chase his high. 

“Aww, my kleine blau,” Anselm whispers, chuckling in his ear and Blue whines desperately. “So loud. Do you want to wake my wife, hmm? Think she’ll take pity on you do you?” He presses his free hand against Blue’s forehead and pulls him back, exposing his neck even more. “She won’t.” He hisses and bites again at his ear. 

Blue squirms, tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes. “Please, Anselm, please.” 

“Aww, you beg so prettily, my love.” Anselm’s hand rapidly increases for a moment before he slows painfully. “Why would I ever want to give you what you want when you sound and look so sweet like this?” 

A sob of frustration leaves Blue’s lips, forgetting momentarily that you are sleeping next to him. You stir a little at the sound, still feeling the warm pull of slumber and ache in your muscles from the previous evening's activities. 

Anselm stoves two fingers into Blue’s mouth and rapidly increases the movement of his wrist, purposefully making the slap, slap, slap of skin echo louder around the room and Blue’s choked whines more pitiful. 

He bites down hard on Blue’s neck, intentionally pulling a sharp muffled sob from his throat. 

Anselm’s eyes, dark and predatory, are glued to yours as you wake fully and take in the scene before you. 

Blue gazes imploringly, reaching his hands out for you needily. But Anselm quickly removes his fingers from his mouth and pins Blue’s arms to his chest. 

“Naughty, naughty,” he hisses just before he licks a hot stripe up Blue’s neck.  He looks back to you and smiles sweetly, “Good morning, my love. Did you sleep well?” 

Blue cries out desperately. 

You raise an eyebrow at him. “I did. Did you sleep at all, or have you been torturing Blue the whole night?” 

Anselm grins wickedly. “Only for the last, oh… thirty minutes or so.” 

Blue sobs, arching his back and trying to buck his hips to meet Anselm’s hand. “Please,” he looks to you with tears in his eyes, his bottom lip between his teeth. And you can’t help but smile. 

You shift a little towards him and lean forward just enough to lightly brush your lips against his. 

Blue lets out another sweet whimper. His lips are hot and wet from where he keeps biting them. He darts his tongue out, briefly licking into your mouth as he opens his, retreating back and urging you to follow. 

You growl, grabbing hold of his cheeks and stroking his skin as you slip your tongue past his lips and kiss him deeply. He tries to push himself against you, straining against Anselm’s tight hold while his hips still buck desperately to reach his high. 

He wants to sink into the sensations, melt between the both of you and become liquid in your hands. 

Anselm stops his movements altogether, squeezing the base of Blue’s cock firmly. He can’t take it anymore and sobs loudly, tears in the corners of his eyes and slipping out from the constant edging. He breaks the kiss with you pitifully, biting his lip and shuddering. 

“You’re being mean,” you say playfully, swatting Anselm’s arm lightly while you stroke Blue’s cheeks. Acting as if his tears didn’t send heat racing downwards. 

“Am I, my love?” He grins wickedly despite the faux innocence in his voice. 

“Very.” You smile back. 

“You’d spoil him if he was all yours, you know?” He chuckles, enjoying how Blue squirms in his arms when he’s being ignored like this, how his breathing increases. 

“Oh, would I?” You lean forward and kiss Anselm lightly, barely a touch of your lips. 

He groans and grabs hold of the back of your neck, keeping you in place so that he can lick into your mouth as he pleases. His grip is firm, warm and sure as he steals the breath from your lungs. 

Blue places a light kiss to your neck, nuzzling into your skin for a moment before whining loudly as Anselm squeezes his cock firmly once more. He breaks the kiss but keeps his hand on the back of your neck as he tuts at Blue. 

“Naughty naughty, trying to get on her good side.” He kisses you again, swiping his tongue over yours. “My love, he deserves to be punished.” 

You chuckle and Blue pouts and whines. “Anselm,” but you barely get the word out before he kisses you deeply. 

“I should tie him to the bed and fuck you on top of him until he’s sorry.” 

Blue squirms, shaking his head rapidly and practically sobbing. Panic gripping his chest at the idea he’s upset Anselm that much. 

You stroke his cheeks, seeing the distress on his face. You kiss his forehead. “It’s just play.” Anselm quickly nuzzles Blue’s neck, sucking a love bite onto his pulse point. “My sweet little thing,” he hushes in Blue’s ear. “So good for me, for us.” He places another quick kiss to his cheek before moving back and leaning over so he can rummage in his bedside table and pulls out a bottom of lube. 

Blue nestles into you, kissing along your jaw, one hand on your hip while the other squeezes your breast.

“Please,” he mutters against your skin, so desperate and horny he can’t even think straight. “Please, can I?” He slides his hand under your soft thigh and hitches your leg over his, nudging the thick head of his weeping cock at your entrance. 

He hisses, his eyes rolling back in his head when he feels how wet you are. How his tip glides through your stick folds. “You like this?” He mutters desperately, “like seeing me so desperate?” He bites his lip, trying to stop the shallow thrusts of his hips, trying not to sink inside your tight, wet heat. 

“I do.” You whisper, running your nails along his scalp and he shudders, gasping. 

“Please,” he groans, his eyelids fluttering in an effort to keep them open. “Please, need you both to use me. Need to come with you both.” 

"So, eager to please mein Süßer.” Anselm kneels over you both, pushing lightly between Blue’s shoulder blades so he turns, pushing you onto your back and him on top of you. 

Anselm smacks his ass once and Blue yelps in surprise more than pain, pouting. 

You can’t suppress your giggle. 

“You can’t help yourself,” Anselm tuts, “I move away for eine Minute and you’re already begging to get balls deep in my wife.” 

Blue squirms. “I-”

Anselm cuts him off with two sharp slaps to each ass cheek that has Blue wailing and biting his lip. The pain spreads deliciously up his spine, settling in the base of his cock. The weight of it is almost too much to bear. 

Anselm nods his head to you, and you smile. “Legs up, my love.” He asks softly, and you do as he requests, wrapping your legs around Blue and crossing your ankles over the small of his back. 

Anselm is the one that grabs Blue’s leaking cock and lines him up with your aching pussy. He pushes on Blue’s ass to guide him inside, holding his hip to stop him from thrusting in too quickly. 

Blue whines as he follows Anselm’s directions perfectly, gazing down at you with lust drunk eyes. “Thank you, thank you, oh god, thank you,” falls out of his mouth with every sweet inch that plunges deeper, squeezing him so tight and making him lightheaded. “You feel so good, I’m-” His breath hitches, “I’m gonna cum, I’m sorry, I’m-”

Anselm smacks his ass hard again, his skin reddening quickly. The jolt forces him in the last few centimetres, presses him flush against you and he groans loudly. 

The stretch has you tensing, arching up towards him as he presses deliriously deep, rubbing perfectly against the source of your ache. 

“You’re not going to cum just yet,” Anselm pats the handprint he’s left on Blue’s skin, and Blue nods rapidly, eyes screwed tight as he tries to get a hold of himself. 

Anselm gazes down at you, leaning forward for a second to press a sweet kiss to your lips. “You okay, my love?” 

You nod and swallow, hardly able to form words with the onslaught of sensation. The tip of Blue’s cock is nudging at your sweet spot, practically vibrating with how he’s shaking. 

“We didn’t play with you beforehand,” he says sweetly in your ear, half in genuine concern, the other just an excuse to rile you up even more. 

“It’s good.” You breathe. “He’s…” you gasp as Blue wriggles ever so slightly. 

“He’s in exactly the right position,” Anselm nods as he speaks and sits up. “Good. Hear that Blue?” He smacks his ass one more time. The force sends a jolt through his limbs and both you and Blue moan headily at how you move together. 

Anselm smiles, “So, you heard her Blue.” 

He nods rapidly. 

“Perfect spot. So no moving.” He pushes Blue’s ass firmly down. “Not even a centimetre out, understand?” 

Blue nods again. 

Anselm flicks open the bottle of lube and coats his middle and forefinger liberally. “I’m going to move you.” 

Blue frowns for a moment in confusion, about to ask what he means. But his words are cut off by a gasp as Anselm presses his fingers against Blue’s entrance. He shivers, whines in surprise and for a second you worry. Your walls involuntarily clenching down on him. 

“Wait-” You start.

“Plleeaaasssee,” Blue begs, tears running down his cheeks. “Oh fuck, please, just, just get up there, get inside, get-” he moans so loudly it’s almost a scream as Anselm presses in deep, pushing past his tight drink of muscle and strokes deep. 

Blue shakes, trembling with sensation as Anselm’s fingers press and your cunt squeezes. Pleasure explodes behind his eyes, runs along his limbs as Anselm pushes, rocks him against you as if he were a puppet completely under Anselm’s control. 

You gasp, grabbing hold of his shoulders as he moves, rocking his hips against you at a mind-numbing pace that has you seeing stars. 

Blue shrieks as Anselm finds his prostate, his orgasm exploding along every nerve and tensing his muscles. He sobs as he comes, his hips moving of their own accord as he floats above his body in bliss. He pumps load after load of hot, thick cum into you, his body running on autopilot as he collapses on top of you. 

Anselm slowly removes his fingers and kisses his shoulders as you kiss his temple. You both hug him for a moment, whispering soothing words as he stays boneless before you both help him up and onto his back on the pillows. 

Anselm licks up the mess on his cock  before he takes hold of your hips and presses you back against the mattress. 

“Such a lovely mess.” He mutters, fisting his own cock for a second before he sinks into you and groans. “Ah, has made you so,” he growls, snapping his hips hard and fast, “needy,” you whine underneath him as he sits up, changing the angle so he can fuck into you rapidly. “So wet, and warm,” he snarls, sweat beading on his temples. 

He places his hand on your chest, between your breasts and keeps you pinned flat to the bed. 

You whine against him, your body hurtling you towards your orgasm as he takes and takes and takes. The way his hips move, the deep, precise thrusts he has memorised, ingrained into his very fibre of being to make you see stars. 

The slap, slap, slap of his thick cock against you, the way he pulls out almost completely before slamming back in breaks Blue from his daze. His cock twitches despite his mind-shattering orgasm a moment before. 

He groans watching, shuffles forward and kisses you sweetly, the action so soft and sweet it almost breaks you in two. 

“Here,” Anselm groans, strain in his voice well covered by his affection for you both. He gently but firmly guides Blue’s head away from you and presses him towards your centre. “Put your mouth to better use.” 

Your cry is sharp, almost alien to your own ears as Blue’s tongue darts out and flicks against your clit as Anselm thrusts against your g spot repeatedly. 

You squirm under both of them, both trying to get closer but also shy away from the pleasure. 

Blue latches onto your clit, moaning as he sucks, his eyes rolling back into his head. Anselm groans as you pulse around him, he keeps a steady hand on the back of Blue’s head and grabs your tight, hiking it high on his hip. Your breathing hitches and he knows you’re close. 

“Take me so well, my love,” he groans, bowing forward ever so slightly as you squeeze around him, your body sucking him deep and fighting to keep him inside. “Made for me, made for us.” 

Blue moans in agreement, looking at you with large, heavy-lidded eyes. 

“Cum on my cock, want to feel you come apart and scream.” 

You whine, so close you can taste it. 

“Want you to-” Anselm groans suddenly as Blue snakes his hand up his thigh, squeezes his ass before dipping lower and cupping his balls. He massages them in the warmth of his palm and Anselm’s vision goes white. 

You gasp as Blue mewls against you, lapping at your clit and gazing up at you, knowing exactly what he's doing. 

Anselm thrusts deeply, the knot in his stomach clenching, his balls tightening and you throw your head back as you come. Your orgasm robbing you of your strength. 

Anselm comes a second later, groaning as your walls squeeze and pulsate and pull him down with you. He bucks shallowly as he fills you to the brim and mixes with the mess Blue made. 

Blue keeps sucking your clit until you stop shaking and your muscles relax. He slowly removes his mouth from you, his hand from Anselm and moves to sit up. 

But you wrap an arm around his neck and pull him down neck to you kissing his cheeks and nose and lips until he’s giggling and snuggling into your side.

You use your other arm to pull Anselm down on top of you, kiss his temple, his scars, nuzzle into his beard and nip at his bottom lip. 

He sighs into your embrace, presses his face into your neck and breathes deeply while he hugs both of you tightly. 

____________________

Thank you for reading!

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[thebellekeys]

Reflections: The Story of Tessa

This isn't an objective or even fair assessment of TSC, but because of how much Clockwork Angel and herongraystairs mean to me given that I read TID back when I was twelve, I sort of visualize the whole of TSC as the story of Tessa, with the different trilogies being punctuations, in the overarching scheme of things, in the Tessa Herongraystairs story.

I once said that Tessa marks the chronological inception of the story of the five families: the Herondales, Carstairs, Fairchilds, Blackthorns and Lightwoods. No family would have a lineage in the present day in its current state if not for Tessa and the Clockwork War and the way herongraystairs' played out chronologically. So, sometimes I just map out the whole TSC as the story of Tessa with the different books in TSC as linear checkpoints in the narrative of The Bestest Girl Ever aka Tessa Gray. It sort of looks like this when I break it down in my head:

Phase 1: Inception - This is TID (and the literal equivalent of the Big Bang for me from a linear perspective) yunno like the passion the love the power the sacrifices the desperation the growth of the characters in this series. I think the choices made in this trilogy set the course for everything.

Phase 2: Wessa - this is TLH. It's Wessa's Happily Ever After that we get to glimpse, ie, their follow-up to TID and the lifetime that Wessa got to have together: the ever-important Love Story No. 1 come to life. The end of this lifetime is marked by Learn About Loss and A Deeper Love from GOTSM for me, another punctuation. Lifetime No. 1 includes the Tessa Herondale story and that of a lineage she will produce that will reappear in her life in a century's time: it’s her family and experiences with Will, the story of her children, James and Lucie, and a Shadowhunter life in Edwardian London.

Phase 3: Impetus - This is City of Heavenly Fire aka, the book that changed the trajectory of Tessa and Jem's lives completely and the figure that shifted everything for them: Jace Herondale. Jem gets freed from the yin fen and his strife, and a whole new door gets opened because of this "other story of Fairchilds and Lightwoods and Herondales" and whatnot. In this way, you can picture the whole of TMI as the story of Jem's inevitable freedom from Brother Zachariah. From this angle, the epilogue of Clockwork Princess (*cries*) and the epilogue of City of Heavenly Fire are not just an ending or a beginning. It is sinply the midpoint in the narrative of Tessa Gray.

Phase 4: The Search for the Lost Herondale - This is both TDA and GOTSM. The Carstairs owe the Herondales. Tessa and Jem don't get to have their Happily Ever After just yet, because they need to find Kit. We know they love Kit with the pureness that parents just possess, but we also know that they see Kit as a little piece of Will that Jessa can still have in their lives (which mirrors the way Brother Zachariah in TLH was a means of having a little piece of the old Jem in Wessa's life). Cassie made Jessa work for their happily ever after here. The punctuation mark for me here is Through Blood, Through Fire and Forever Fallen from GOTSM.

Phase 5: Jessa - this is TWP. We haven't gotten much of it yet, but it's basically the Happily Ever After of Jessa that we've been waiting for since our Phase 1. This is the second follow-up to TID and the life that Jessa now get to have. This is Love Story No. 2 come to life, and it likely will be punctuated by the end of TWP. This is the story of Tessa Carstairs, one of a warlock's life in Devon with a family in Jem, Kit and Mina.

So to conclude, I'm a huge-ass Tessa stan okay, so sometimes I just see the whole of TSC as the story of Tessa with her two relationships and lifetimes - it's her love and family-building with Will and Jem just stretched across different epochs, each as milestones in a singular but linear character arc. I see Tessa Gray stepping onto the docks of London in TID as the inception of TSC from a narrative perspective and her relationships with Will and Jem as complements to each other.

James and Lucie are to Wessa what Kit and Mina are to Jessa. Shadowhunter Tessa is to Wessa what Warlock Tessa is to Jessa. Rescuing Kit (to have a bit on Herondale in their relationship) is to Jessa what having Brother Zachariah visit the London Institute every two minutes was to Wessa (what I mean here is that it was never possible to fully have both Jem and Will with her at once - Brother Zachariah was a fragment of the Jem Carstairs that Wessa loved, while Kit Herondale is a pretty souvenir of Will and the Herondale bloodline that Jessa so love).

Hence, Tessa's character arc is the spine of TSC when it comes to *major emotional stuff* for me. Amidst each individual book, the sheer size of herongraystairs is a penumbra always living in my peripherals. Tessa is an ever-lurking constant in the narrative of TSC itself, and I guess I sometimes just imagine TSC as a giant hallway: the paintings that hang at the sides are the individual TSC books, and Tessa Gray is the granite upon which they sit.

[blueburds]

Whumptober prompt #4

No. 4 DEAD ON YOUR FEET

Hidden Injury | Waking Up Disoriented | Can’t Pass Out

The numbness Fen felt was a comfort, a grace, for the second he began to realize his pain, he was in agony. His head was pounding, dizzy and aching. And a sense of dread washed over his body.

          Two corpses lied motionless on either side of him—the other two Padawans, he recalled. Groaning, he pushed himself to his hands and knees and examined his surroundings. The old temple, where a ritual was conducted. The once-proud standing statues of ancient Jedi were littered with cracks, and some features were worn away by age or missing altogether. The reliefs carved into the walls depicted followers of a horned, hooded figure cutting open their arms and presenting offerings of blood. A commitment of loyalty, metaphorically and literally. The blood of the figure’s followers tied them together.

          The ritual was only explained in detail to Fen as it was taking place. His Master Benai brought Fen here, along with the other gullible Padawans, to use them in his sacrifice. It was coming back to Fen now, much too quickly.

          He pushed himself to his feet, catching himself against a fallen bit of statue with his bruised hand. He was still so dizzy. He shuffled over to Elandreth, the Miraluka Padawan Fen had grown closer to over their travels. Her body, now a husk, was barely recognizable if not for the familiar attire and blindfold. Gingerly he touched her cheek, the skin ghastly dry and pale. Tears stung his eyes as he quickly wiped them away on his sleeve, but more came to replace them in seconds. They plopped onto her face and rolled off her cheek.

          Sorrow weighed down Fen’s entire body; he curled forward, lekku falling over his shoulders, and he cupped her face as he sobbed.

          He steadied his breaths. What was sorrow gradually became understanding, and understanding became anger.

          Slowly he turned, mindful to be gentle of his friend’s corpse withering away in his arms. He saw Benai coughing, struggling to push himself up. Whatever happened, it affected all of them, Fen thought.

          Trying to ignore the headache piercing through his skull, he got to his feet and stumbled toward Benai. All the strength he could muster, all the energy he could gather, he managed to grab his master through the Force and throw him against the wall. “How could you do this?” Fen screamed. “We trusted you!”

          Benai spit blood to the side, waving off the cloud of dust the impact created. “This is my path to enlightenment. You would deny me of this reward?”

          “You took their lives for your own gain. You are entitled to nothing.”

          “Do you wish to take my life, too? What would that gain you? Revenge leads to a dark, dark path, Padawan.”

          “Killing innocents for a selfish purpose of power doesn’t?”

          “You are naïve and young, Fen. I thought you would’ve grown a spine as I trained you. I was wrong.” Benai stood, though weakly, and glared to his angered Padawan. “And I would have hoped that you would be more grateful—”

          “Grateful?”

          “—for pulling you out of that cesspool, Nal Hutta. I did you a favor, child. You would still be rotting away as a slave, dirty and malnourished. Here, your role serves a purpose greater than you could comprehend.”

          “Shut up,” Fen snapped, not even bothering to do away with his heavy Huttese accent. “You thought you could just use me after making me feel like I owe you a debt.”

          “But you do, Fen.”

          “I don’t.” Fen reached for his lightsaber—and realized its weight was absent at his belt. His gut churned.

          Benai noticed and chuckled drily. “You really do want to kill me, hm?”

          “Stop talking.” He couldn’t sense his lightsaber, not in the immediate moment. Since the blade came into his possession only recently, it took more focus and a clearer mind to locate it—neither of which Fen had in this state. But in the past, he’d found other creative means of killing. Nal Hutta was a harsh environment; one had to adapt if they were to survive.  

          Fen swept his leg across the ground and kicked up loose dirt and rock, then shoved a wave of Force forward to send the debris straight at his master. Benai shielded his face and Fen bolted toward him.  

          With a fist-sized rock clutched in his grasp, Fen nailed him in the temple—again, again and again—avoiding the crown of horns circling his master’s head. Benai howled in pain as he desperately tried to stop the assault. The rock chipped a horn, then another, sending the pieces flying and mixing with the sand below.

          Fen heard his master plead for him to stop. He saw only red. His eyes were flown wide open in blind rage; his teeth ground together so hard that he thought he might break them.

          Benai eventually fell limp. At what point, Fen wasn’t certain, but he knew he’d gone overboard with the kill. Dark, warm blood trickled from his fingers down his arm. Despite his better efforts, Fen sliced the side of his hand and his palm on the horns. He wasn’t sure where the sudden bout of strength came from, but as he realized that strength remained, he noticed that his head felt significantly better. Fen swallowed hard. The dark, eerie feeling from earlier intensified and swelled within his chest.

          Fen pushed himself up, breaths quickening as he took in the sight of the murder he’d committed.

          It was satisfactory. Not a drop of remorse lingered in his heart. Killing his master felt good.

[bowtied-pasta]

True and _________ Interactions

True and Slender

True: “You saved me! I owe you my life.”

Slender: “No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.”

True and Splendor

True, pointing: “May I sit there?”

Splendor: “That's my lap.”

True: “That doesn't answer my question, Dots.”

True and ‘Fender

True: “Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.”

Fen: “You and me.”

True, tearing up: “Okay.”

True and Trender

Trender: “If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.”

True: “Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.”

True and Zalgo

True: “I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.”

Zalgo, sniffling: “It’s not a joke. I’m a legit snack.”

True and Tender

Tender: “I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.”

True: “This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.”

True and Jeff

Jeff: *Gets down on one knee*

True: “Oh my god, it’s finally happening.”

Jeff: *Falls over*

True: “The poison is kicking in.”

True and Jane

True, struggling to keep upright in 1 inch heels: “Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me”

Jane, pointing at her and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: “WEAK.”

True and Tim

Tim: “Must be hard not being able to laugh.”

True: “I do have a sense of humor you know.”

Tim: “I’ve never heard you laugh before.”

True: “I’ve never heard you say anything funny.”

True and Brian

Brian: “What’s up guys? I’m back.”

True: “What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.”

Brian: “Death is a social construct.”

True and Toby

True: “Can you please be serious for five minutes?”

Toby: “My record is four, but I think I can do it.”

True and Ben

True: “How petty can you get?”

Ben: “I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.”

True and EJ

True: “What is your biggest weakness?”

Jack: “I can be uncooperative.”

True: “Okay, can you give me an example?”

Jack: “No.”

True and Dark

Dark: “You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.”

True, not looking up from her book: “Spear.”

Dark: “BLOCKED.”

True and Nina

True: “Nina…”

Nina: “Oh no, 'Nina’ in b-flat.”

Nina: “You're disappointed.”

True and Kevin

Kevin: “True and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-“

True: “Sentences.”

Kevin: “Don't interrupt me.”

True and Kagekao

True: “Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.”

Kagekao: “No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police.”

[normal-thoughts-official]

Thoughts on rizzy 👀

jdndkdndidndidn ok so if u wanted a rizzy-positive answer...... avert ur eyes

the one thing positive (?) i can say about rizzy is that it really brought us some of the softest raphael moments, but i also lowkey hate that cuz wow, we really got him to talk about his sister, his past, see some of his interests, his softness, his pains, his smiles because of rizzy... so it's all related to rizzy 💀 which is why you might see some gifsets from rizzy scenes in my blog, i think this might have been what brought this on. i enjoy those scenes as scenes that establish raphael's character, but not as rizzy

and shoutout to sh as usual for only bothering with giving a coc depth, backstory, desires and etc when they were someone's love interest and then dropping them like a hot potato. like bro imagine if they had at least bothered with keeping raphael's characterisation consistent? id be over the moon already. if they had actually made him a person like when rizzy was a thing for the whole show on top of that?? fuck i think id explode in happiness

other than that..... i hate everything about it. and like, it being based on addiction aside (which is already, like, bad, but i could maybe ship them in an alternate reality where the addiction wasn't a thing and they were fine if it was only that), the whole thing was literally Izzy Treats Raphael Like Shit And Then Raphael Is Villainized For It

im not even gonna get into the whole "raphael is blamed for the yin fen thing for some fucking reason when that was not his fucking fault and no one questions this" thing because ive done it before and i might explode with rage if i do, lol. that fucking plotline would have never been handled like that if raphael wasn't latino and therefore a predator drug dealer stereotype. but ANYWAY

those are the two things that i see anti rizzy shippers talking about the most, but those are actually not what bothers me the most. what really drives me up the wall and is just vomiting emoji is the way izzy treats raphael. that's the dealbreaker for me and something that never gets acknowledged

like, for starters, raphael was once again shown to be one of the most caring and selfless characters in this piece of shit stupid show, when he saved izzy's life when she was stupid enough to actually go to a vampire den. she had done nothing but be shitty to him and the vampires up to that point, mind you (which some ppl in this fandom treat as like #GirlPower or something) but he still saved her life for no reason other than that was the right thing to do

and then she immediately, the same second, tried to trigger him into drinking her blood. and he kept telling her no and pushing her away and she was literally GRABBING him and slitting her wrist and then he caved, at great personal cost, which she didn't care about

fine

then we get her going after him again, and raphael, again, being the caring and selfless bastard that he is, does something so monumentally kind and dangerous that it still blows me away: he tells her about his addiction

and i know that ppl in this fandom love to act as if every single thing raphael did for the sake of other characters, particularly the shadowhunters and simon, is just, like, expected and no big deal. but raphael didn't owe izzy that. he didn't have to tell izzy that. hell, he didn't even have to save izzy's life when she went to the den, for all he knew it was all a trick or something. and telling her, someone he doesn't even know, a shadowhunter, not only one of his greatest secrets, not only one of his greatest vulnerabilities, but the single hardest and most painful moment of his life, a whole can of worms about his past that he just bared to her just like that, was just. so much. it was such a huge thing that he did for her, okay. and let's not forget that raphael is a private person, both for survival and because he just is

he basically opened up his biggest wound and showed it to her only because it could bring her some sort of comfort. it wouldn't even help her greatly. it wouldn't even change anything about her situation. it would bring just maybe a little bit of comfort and advice, at great personal cost, way greater than the good it would bring her. and he still did it, because raphael cares, especially when he sees someone going through something he went through as well. just so he could tell her that it gets better, that she's not alone. that he understands

and she fucking!! immediately!!!! uses that against him!!!!!! and continues to try to trigger his addiction again and again and again and again!!!! may i just say, WHAT THE FUCK

EVERY SINGLE TIME she tries to get him to drink her blood, it's not consensual, it's forced. he always hesitates, always tries to push her away, always turns his head. and she just pushes him anyway. even after she knows that he's been through this before. that it almost destroyed him. she knows exactly what she's triggering and bringing on, and she! does! it! anyway!!

watching some of the rizzy scenes, particularly the one where they are cooking together, makes me want to cry for him, because it's so obvious that what he's looking for is a deeper connection, someone to trust, to love, and what she's looking for is someone to satisfy her need. and look, i know addiction is terrible. but he's ALSO addicted. and again, i've met plenty of ppl who struggled with addiction, and they were able of, you know, not treating others like this

it drives me crazy! raphael lets her into his home, teaches her how to cook, opens up about the SINGLE SECRET ABOUT HIM THAT NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT EXCEPT FOR MAGNUS, and generally tries to have a good time with her, and not only does she immediately make his attempt at having a meaningful bonding time about him drinking her blood, but does it RIGHT AFTER HE TELLS HER ABOUT HIS SISTER??? it literally goes "here is my deepest most important secret that pains me greatly and is destroying me inside. oh, i said too much. i should have kept my mouth shut" "i'd rather you didn't *slits own wrist and makes him drink her blood*". like, girl, at least a word of comfort first??? a "you can tell me whatever you like"? an "i'm fucking sorry for your loss" maybe???????????? SHE TREATED HIM LIKE AN OBJECT

and also SHOUT THE FUCK OUT to "i didn't take you for a community service kind of guy", which granted is a minor thing to be upset about in the middle of this shitstorm, but still makes me want to rip my hair off. girl!! he's been doing nothing ever since you first met but helping you selflessly and getting only PAIN in return. like is she for real??? he went out of his way SO many times to help her, when he had NO reason to, not a single one. and she's still like "oh wow raphael cares about others?? im shocked" UDBDIDNDKSMSOSNSOSNSISBSUSBDUDBDIDNDIDNDI ARE YOU SERIOUSSSS

it's really such a revealing moment to me because it really shows that she didn't give any thought about everything he'd done for her. all the endless kindness and care, in the literal sense of TAKING CARE OF, that he offered her without a second thought. she never stopped to think about what it cost him. the fact that he didn't OWE IT TO HER, and thus it says something about his CHARACTER, because he CHOSE to help her. over and over and over again!!! AFTER SHE BETRAYED HIM MORE THAN ONCE. it never even crossed her mind! she just took it for granted, like it's what he was supposed to do, or something

and then!!!!!!! even after they go their separate ways!! and raphael is STILL caring for her and making sure she's okay! she decides to betray him one last time and have simon threaten his sister!!! and ill be honest i dont remember the reason for this, but i do remember that it wasn't fucking life and death, so like!!! it was just unnecessarily cruel and shitty of her and the biggest FUCK YOU to him and his trust. AND IT WASN'T NECESSARY AT ALL. like. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

and at this point izzy was recovering so it's just like. i get that before that we were literally seeing izzy at her ugliest, she even fought alec and said some shit that she definitely didn't mean at all and that was shitty and hurtful. so like obviously we were seeing izzy in her darkest, worst, most selfish, most hurt. which is why i can maybe cut her some slack for some shit (also i just realized i literally forgot that she straight up THREATENED HIM WITH A KNIFE god there is really So Much To Unpack Here), but at that point? at that point she had no excuse. she was recovering. this didn't even have anything to do with her addiction anyway. she was just proving that raphael's trust, his care, his fucking feelings, they meant nothing to her

like seriously! she could at least have the decency to go, after raphael was very obviously kind and considerate to me, maybe i should not conspire against him and bring forward his most important secret? i don't think i'm asking her for much here

and it also ends a circle of raphael opening up to her and trusting her and she betraying that trust EVERY SINGLE TIME! the literal single only thing he told her that she didn't use against him was his asexuality. which look, thank god, cuz that would have been way too ugly and uncalled for, but the bar is low here

(ok, maybe rizzy gets a shoutout for having raphael's asexuality be treated so naturally. especially coming from such an overtly sexual character like izzy. it was nice to have that. i also think that her whole line about how for the first time sex wasn't a big part of a relationship for her could have been explored in so many interesting ways. like it is obvious that izzy uses her sexuality as a way to gain confidence and prove her value and it would be cool to see that being addressed beyond throwaway lines, maybe talk a bit about hypersexualization of woc. but this is shadowhunters we're talking about so of course nah)

so like okay izzy gets a Not An Aphobe But Still Shitty badge for basically using raphael like he existed to provide her. and in short this is why i can't get into rizzy, not even in a very very alternate reality where it all went different and the way they met had nothing to do with addiction. because she really didn't care enough about him and he deserves so much better than this

and again, i know that izzy was at her damn lowest in that point, but i think that even if she weren't, ultimately their incompatibility still lies there - raphael is too selfless and izzy is not attuned to that. she would take what he offered and not really spare it a thought, even if she didn't mean to like, Use Him (cuz i dont think izzy meant to use him even in canon), like it was just expected. and he wouldn't point that out. and it would be. ugh

and yeah i think that summarizes my thoughts dudndjdn im sorry for the angry very long rant, i just started talking and it all was pouring out suddenly. i promise im not mad, i just...... have strong feelings about this whole thing

[roadtohell]

@mynamesdrstuff​ thank you ur brain is so big, i had like 10 moments of revelation while writing this

A Labour of Love- or, How to Write a Song That Makes Me Want to Lie Facedown On The Floor

Four decades separates the respective rises of singer-songwriters Hozier and Bruce Springsteen, nearly as large as the gap between the worlds in which their public images reside. According to popular myth, the former is the tall, near-ethereal Bog Man, half in this life and half in the next, who rose from a fae-inhabited woodland after 1000 years of slumber to find he was able only to mourn his lost love through song; the other is the Boss, a hardy yet compassionate working-class hero permanently streaked with the blood and sweat of a marathon shift, toiling endlessly alongside the heart-stopping, pants-dropping, hard-rocking, earth-quaking, booty-shaking, Viagra-taking*, love-making, legendary E Street Band. The domains of fen and factory may appear to be irreconcilable, but in reality the musicians have many things in common:

Broadly speaking, they both create wildly variable mixes of folk and rock, often with particularly strong Irish and African-American influences.

Their lyrics are poetic and commonly reflect on social issues with a progressive voice.

Songs about romantic relationships typically portray them as complex and difficult but remain respectful, sometimes near worshipful, of women.

Their characters yearn, long, pine and crave more often than not.

They both really like to use religious imagery.

They enjoy and return notable amounts of wlw love.

Representative of many of these are Hozier’s “Work Song” and Springsteen’s “Maria’s Bed”, two songs with close thematic parallels. Each is ostensibly told from the perspective of an exhausted labourer who dreams of returning to his lover. In a twist, however, “Work Song” is a melancholic love story, while the upbeat “Maria’s Bed” is a subtle tale of death; the opposing moods are complex reflections of these underlying narratives. These songs have Hozier and Springsteen skilfully intertwine the concepts of love, death, freedom and spirituality, creating two deeply moving portrayals of desire** that never fail to eviscerate the listener after 10pm.

Though the songs differ in overall lyrical structure, the similarities in narrative are evident from the first few lines:

Boys, workin' on empty / Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat? / I just think about my baby / I'm so full of love I could barely eat

Been on a barbed wire highway forty days and nights / I ain’t complaining, it’s my job and it suits me right / I got a sweet soul fever rushing round my head / I’m gonna sleep tonight in Maria’s bed

The audience can gather that each character works in a harsh environment where they are exposed to the elements. Their work is likely in manual labour, but the details are skimmed over because the narrators don’t particularly want to think about the details. Pushed to their limits, each instead copes by preoccupying himself with thoughts of his lover, though it makes him literally lovesick.

I’d never want once from the cherry tree / ‘Cause my baby’s sweet as can be / She gives me toothaches just from kissing me

She gives me candy-stick kisses ‘neath a wolf-dog moon / A sweet breath and she’ll take you, mister, to the upper room

The worker recalls his lover’s kisses as being vibrantly sweet, sweeter than nature. So, too, is her company- in contrast to the grim situation he is currently in, she is something to be savoured. Sugar cravings, an innate biological compulsion, come to mind; his hankering for her is likewise deep-seated and out of his control.

The reason for such devotion, the narrator reveals, is that she saved his life at a time when he had already resigned himself to death. He believes he was undeserving of such a deed; Hozier describes “three days on a drunken sin… she never asked me once about the wrong I did,” while Springsteen’s character recounts being “burned by angels, sold wings of lead / then I fell in the roses and sweet salvation of Maria’s bed”. In other words, his state of ruin was at least partially self-made, and her care seemed completely inexplicable. He eagerly returns her love, perhaps feeling that it’s the least he owes- but he still doesn’t quite understand where it came from.

True to both songwriters’ styles, these lines are direct allusions to the idea of redemption in Christianity: God sheltering a faithful person from the literally hellish consequences of their wrongdoing, through no merit of their own. However, the worker is notably dismissive of traditional doctrine:

My babe would never fret none / About what my hands and my body done / If the Lord don’t forgive me / I’d still have my baby and my babe would have me

I’ve been out in the desert, yeah, doing my time / Searching through the dust for fool’s gold, looking for a sign / Holy man says “hold on, brother, there’s a light up ahead” / Ain’t nothing like the light that shines on me in Maria’s bed

His faith rests not in God but on his lover; she is his religion now. Her act of grace already gave him a new, better life- he doesn’t need biblical promises when her love is tantamount to anything heaven might offer. This implication conveys a staggering depth of feeling, particularly to a religiously raised listener. Spirituality is, at its core, emotional; combined with the values and customs of religion, it is a force that can exert incredible influence over a person. The worker doesn’t reject spirituality itself- it’s an intrinsic part of him- but he has put all that power in the hands of the one he adores. It may make him vulnerable to her (that’s love!), but he is certain that she will give him the strength he needs.

Theological redemption also has close ties with death, as its benefits aren’t meant to be reaped on earth. Instead, the love, glory and freedom that are promised are relegated to the afterlife. Historically, the presumed ecstasy of achieving this gave death a sexual connotation; after all, if a lover could take the spiritual place of God, then perhaps sex could take the role of death as a gateway to paradise, far away from a life of pain. Work Song embraces this analogy, explicitly linking spiritual fulfilment to the pleasure of sexual intimacy:

When I was kissing on my baby / And she put her love down, soft and sweet / In the low lamplight, I was free / Heaven and hell were words to me

The equally suggestive Maria’s Bed allows the audience to draw similar conclusions, but it accomplishes this using a far less serious method: regular mentions of the titular bed, wink-wink-nudge-nudge. Yet this light-hearted sauciness is something of a misdirection. It’s easy to gloss over the song’s references to water, but they are strong hints that support an alternative reading: Maria is not a woman, but a river***. The story, from this perspective, then becomes much more sombre- the worker is a dying or suicidal man who wishes to have his body laid at the bottom of a river that provided for him in life, and whose real desire is for the peace he hopes to find there in death.

Got on my dead man’s suit and smiling skull ring / Lucky graveyard boots and a song to sing / I keep my heart in my work, my troubles in my head / And I keep my soul in Maria’s bed

This darker interpretation arguably makes more sense than the face-value love story, as it resolves some figures of speech that otherwise seem out of place. Even so, the more obvious reading is no less meaningful****; in fact, the coexistence of these narratives is what makes Maria’s Bed an almost perfect thematic inverse to Work Song.

When my time comes around / Lay me gently in the cold dark earth / No grave can hold my body down / I’ll crawl home to her

Hozier uses the finality of death to illustrate the strength of a man’s desire for love- his narrator embraces his own passing as he is certain not even the most permanent of barriers can keep him from his lover. Springsteen, through the personification of the river, uses the language of romance to demonstrate how fervently a man might desire death- his narrator embraces his demise because it offers a reprieve from life, just like a lover would.

All that said, no amount of lyrical analysis will reveal the clearest point of contrast the songs have: their music.

Work Song primarily draws from blues and folk music, both of which have roots in historical work songs used to coordinate physical tasks as well as boost morale. Reflecting this musical heritage, instrumentation is fairly simple, with the steady rhythm of claps and piano chords punctuating hard. It is slow and heartfelt, almost mournful; though there’s no mention of time frame, the audience has the sense that the worker still has a long way to go before he can return to his lover.  This notion comes largely from the song’s circular structure. By ending with the same music it opened with, its story is also implied to finish at its beginning: with the men hard at work in the “burning heat”, and no true relief in sight. This is furthered by having little development over the course of the song- though iterations of the chorus are more intense than the verses, the arrangements underlying both sections barely change. The worker, it seems, is never quite far enough from his reality of hard labour, and never close enough to home.

On the other hand, Maria’s Bed is relentlessly optimistic, driven by a strong forward momentum. Where most modern songs have their choruses as their most powerful feature, here the wordless refrain (“hey hey, la la la li li li li”) acts more like a transition between verses, keeping the story moving. The jaunty fiddles that fade out are quite different to the introductory guitar and organ, suggesting the worker’s situation has developed for the better. In addition, the orchestration builds continually, only briefly pulling back before the music culminates in an extended musical outro. Many of the instruments work in counterpoint, each additional layer contributing to an air of an unrestrained joy that is further spurred on by Springsteen’s high hums and whoops. The linear musical direction and overall impression of good cowboy fun results in the feeling that, unlike the singer of Work Song, the narrator is already on his way to his heart’s desire- though, in light of the lyrics, what this actually means is somewhat ambiguous. Are those final echoes him moving out of earshot… or his ghost ascending to the “upper room” of heaven?

We may not know for sure how either of these stories end, but we can feel the aching hope for something better. This longing is an emotional line that runs all the way through both Springsteen and Hozier’s work, though it never seems to get old. Combined with explorations of love, faith, life, death- that’s why we return to their music again and again; they are experts at playing on old motifs and universal themes in new and creative ways, their crafted melodies and narratives touching wild and industrial hearts alike.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* I am legally obligated to include all these adjectives.

** Maria’s Bed seems to be sadly obscure even among fans; the one and only online forum discussion I have seen about the song refers to it as “not that deep”. Having written this whole essay- if Springsteen himself said that to me, I’d laugh in his face.

*** A random internet comment I can’t find anymore backs me up on this. It even specified that it was about the Santa Maria River in California, as quoted “from Bruce”. Obviously an infallible source 😊

**** It’s important that “[drinking] the cool clear waters” can totally be the description of oral sex you thought it was.

[sunbrights]

inktober #1: ring

fandom: the magicians characters/pairings: fen & eliot, s1 rating: t (there are a handful of references to sex, but they're brief and definitely not explicit)

A mild content warning for the general diceyness around Fen and Eliot’s wedding night, and some of the consent issues it raises. Nothing that isn’t canon-typical, but flagging it just to be safe.

She almost cries, after. But she doesn’t.

She sniffles, once, maybe. But that’s all. She’s proud of herself for that; she sees the heat-bright curl of her emotions coming, and quenches it instead of grabbing for it.

It isn’t him. It isn’t— that. (That is definitely not the problem here. Definitely not. Wow.) It’s just… all of it. The weight of it, hitting all at the same time. She’s been waiting her entire life for her life to change, and now it’s here, changed, and it’s... a lot. That’s all.

She doesn’t cry. But it does take a minute.

He doesn’t draw attention to it. He lies next to her, not touching her but also not turning away from her, while she pulls herself together. Maybe on the surface it might seem cruel or detached, but she doesn’t feel ignored. She feels steady, without being pushed or pulled.

He’s… like that, she thinks. Gentle. But in a quiet, inconspicuous sort of way— the way the rest of him most definitely is not.

When she’s ready, she rolls back over. He’s on his back beside her, one arm raised over his head so that he can inspect his wedding ring. His expression is difficult to read, and an uncertain flutter rises in her chest (he hadn’t been very… connected with her, while they were— but it was only really noticeable at the end, when he— but that’s understandable, of course it is), but he doesn’t look upset, or frustrated, or disappointed. He looks… pensive, and something else.

“It was my grandfather’s,” she says into the silence.

He’s not so lost in his thoughts that she startles him. He only hums, and reaches up with his other hand to twist the ring around his finger. “Like a memento,” he decides, but something in his voice is thin. “That’s nice.”

“You don’t have to do that.” His eyes flick over to her, enough of a question on its own. She draws the blanket further up her chest. “Be polite,” she answers. “For my sake.”

He smiles. It’s brief and sad, like all the others she's seen. “I mean,” he says, “I’d argue that I at least owe you some basic decency.”

She shrugs. “My grandfather didn’t leave that ring to my father, or to me,” she tells him. “He left it to you. That’s how fixated he was on making sure our family was— lifted up.”

He lets his hands tumble back to the bed. “Is it fucked up,” he says slowly, “that I’m not super clear yet on how that’s supposed to work? Like, do I have to… do something? Or...”

She isn’t sure what that means, for something to be ‘fucked up,’ but it is annoying. A little. It’s not his fault, he didn’t ask for this, the system demanded it, but it still… It is, a little.

“I’m granted a seat at court by virtue of being your wife,” she explains. “You’re within your rights as king to dismiss me from that seat, if that’s what you want, but I won’t ever stop being your wife. Any of my children begot by you will be rightful heirs to the throne, no matter what.”

“Begot,” he echoes. He enunciates it slowly, snaps it off between his teeth. “Jesus.”

She tries not to think about how it feels between her— but she does. It literally just happened, obviously. He’s her husband. She’s his wife.

Her face warms anyway. “It’s how it’s worded in the law.”

“Yeah, no. Yeah. I get it.” He turns his head to look at her fully, and there’s something new behind his eyes, sharp and curious. “Nobody’s dismissing you from court, for the record. Least of all me.”

“Oh,” she says, surprised again. “Okay.”

“In the meantime,” he flashes the back of his hand at her, her grandfather’s ring a dark band against his skin, “if you want me to get a different ring, I have thoughts.”

“It doesn’t matter to me,” she says, and means it, she thinks. “It’s not important what my grandfather thought it represented, or what he wanted it to mean, or… anything like that. What matters to me is that it’s— ours.” She touches his hand, her own silver band chiming softly when it comes up against his. “And we get to decide what it means, now.”

She meets his eyes, and it’s not— it was never going to be a love story. She’s known that for a long time, even if part of her might have hoped— it doesn’t matter. He’s kind, she thinks. He’s good, she hopes. And that’s already so much more than she expected from her life.

“Yeah,” he says, on an inhale. His chin dips, an unsteady little nod. “Yeah. Okay.”

[werewolfhooligan]

@fenris-ing replied to your post: put me in the ground, mr sims

u: draws anything / me: yeah yeah YEAH YEA H YEAH YEA H yeah yea h EYAH YEAH YEAH YEA

FEN LITERALLY ANY TIME YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY ART I CRY YOU ARE TOO NICE I OWE YOU MY LIFE 

[yanjuniverse]

‼️‼️ MASTER LIST 2 ‼️‼️

FOLLOW OUR NETWORK

Last Updated september 20, 2018 / view the first masterlist here!

[NINE PERCENT]

Nine Percent as @Jae_Day6 Tweets

Nine Percent as my Coworkers

Nine Percent EXPOSED! Groupchat

Nine Percent as my Senior Year Classmates

Nine Percent on Your Birthday!

Bei Honglin

No Biggie - the one where he just wants to take you out to dinner

Bi Wenjun

Drunk Bi Wenjun

Drunk in Love - or the one where Wenjun is in love with everyone around him

Cai Xukun

I’m Bored - Xukun wants you to come visit him at the studio

Puddles - or the one where you can’t believe you have someone like Xukun

You’re Not Like Your Brother - au where ziyi and xukun are brothers!

You’re WHO?! - or the one where he realizes Wang Ziyi is your older brother

Chen Linong

Best Friends to Lovers!

Ding Zeren

Community Service - or the one I wrote because I couldn’t get him out of my head all day

It’s Raining! It’s Pouring! - or the one where you’re scared of storms

Fan Chengcheng

Hello, my soulmate - red string of fate AU

God Told Me - or the one where Wenjun has a big mouth

It’s A Kitten! - or the one where he picks up a stray on his way home

Open Up - or the one where he has trouble showing when he’s upset

The Way We Fell - or the one where Chengcheng didn’t fall in love with you as hard as you fell for him

Huang Justin/Minghao

Best Friends to Lovers!

Thank God - church boy au

The Black Eye - or the one where Justin just wants to be a good friend to Chengcheng

Lin Yanjun

As Your Big Brother

Leng Yanjun - or a hot mess of a fic

My Girl - or the one where he thinks you didn’t watch his birthday livestream and gets pouty

The Way We Fell - or the one where Yanjun silently falls in love

Trust Me - a 15 part series with a lot of twists and turns

Zhangjun Boyfriend Texts

Lu Dinghao

Animal Crackers - where you guys both work at a daycare and the little kids never know when to stop talking

Mu Ziyang

My Euphoria - 1/4 part series where oner works in a flower shop

Nyquil - the one where he has the flu and is high off nyquil

You’re Not Mad, Right? - or the one where Ziyang is tired of your relationship (ft bigbrother!yue yue)

Qin Fen

A Little Party Never Hurt Nobody

Qin Zimo

Hey Nerd! - you just moved to town and quickly take a liking to the anime club’s president

Wang Ziyi

Carnival Date

Oblivious - 20 part series where Ziyi is just a little too oblivious to his feelings

Shy - or the one where xukun has to help his bro out

Xiao Gui/Wang Linkai

365 - or the year you spend with him

As a Boyfriend

Daily Boyfriend Texts (part one)

Got Milk? - it’s two in the morning and xiao gui just wants to eat cereal

Gramarie Reaction to You Going Through a Break Up

Grocery Shopping with Xiao Gui

I Don’t Have Much - or the one where he forgot today was your birthday

Labels - basically xiao gui thought you were dating this entire time

Make This Feel Like Home - or the one where Linkai makes his home out of you

Owe You One - in which he wants you to meet your idol, zhu xingjie

Rainy Days - how he would act when it rains

Subscribe! - 20 part Youtuber/Rapper!AU series

The Way We Fell - or the one where you fall in love then out of it

YOU’RE DEAD MEAT - or the one where he has enough of your teasing

You’re NOT my Parent! - the one where Xiao Gui gets upset with you

Yang Feitong

Help! I’ve Fallen - or the one where he literally falls

You Zhangjing

Are You Sure? - Zhangjing thinks you may have given him the wrong cup

Living with You Zhangjing

Zhangjun Boyfriend Texts

Yue Yue

Fate AU - or the one where you literally meet the man of your dreams

Valentine’s Day - or the one where you’re not that sure if he’s flirting with you

Zhang Yankai

Gramarie Reaction to You Going Through a Break Up

Zhou Rui

Gramarie Reaction to You Going Through a Break Up

Zhou Yanchen

Daily Boyfriend Texts (part one)

Gramarie Reaction to You Going Through a Break Up

Zhu Xingjie

Gramarie Reaction to You Going Through a Break Up

For Life - or the one where you should’ve said I Love You before he left

Mafia!AU

We Should Break Up

Zhu Zhengting

Desperate Measures - or the one where Zhengting thinks you’re paying too much attention to your pets

I Really Like You! - Zhengting worries a little too much over nothing

Mamabear - the one where he doesn’t want your heart to get broken

Needy - or the one where you’re needy

Smile For The Camera - model!au series

Royals!AU

Zhengting being a mom to his girlfriend

[wxldchxld]

😰when my muse is stressed, how do they act out? & ⧱ what really is my muse’s biggest flaw

😰 when my muse is stressed, how do they act out? 

I guess it depends on the type of stress. If she’s just like, overloaded stressed where she feels like she’s taken on too much, her response is to leave. This can be everything from taking a break to completely bailing on the person or situation entirely and not returning to it. Beck is a bottler. So her first instinct is to shove it down and pretend to be happy and make everyone happy and she thinks if she can just achieve that the stress will go away. The end result is now not only has Beck fled the situation, but also that it probably came out of the blue. This was, essentially, the core of why she and Harper broke up. Things changed, Beck spooked, and instead of saying “hey we need to talk” she just disappeared into the night.

That was kind of a special situation, and a lot of the times Beck will come back once she’s cooled off, but she’d still rather not talk about it. Unless you’re someone she trusts and genuinely wants a relationship with. If those feelings are in place she’ll be more willing to talk or even may force herself to initiate it. She didn’t with Harper because... shit was complicated.

If she’s extremely distressed where she feels like she is in danger she either runs or shifts or grabs her wand. Depends because she tends to leap before she thinks, so she’s rarely like “so what would be best for me in THIS crisis situation.” 

⧱ what really is my muse’s biggest flaw

My girl is a hot mess, and I could probably fill a book if I tried to list all of the flaws so I’m glad we’re going with one.

This isn’t something that Beck is aware of, and if you confronted her with it, she’d adamantly deny it, but from an authorial stand point Beck’s biggest flaw is she doesn’t value other people just on the moral grounds that they too are people. And it’s not just because she’s a bit vain.

Hang with me, because my explanation for how she got that way isn’t going to seem relative at first because it’s a combination of two neutral things that have, over time, created a negative.

I feel like Beck’s naturally a wanderer. She’s not necessarily a loner, because she doesn’t get those desires to escape being around people, especially if they’re people she likes. For instance in a relationship, while Beck doesn’t prefer clingy partners, she also doesn’t really hit a wall where she’s like “holy shit if we don’t get some space from one another I might explode.”

However Beck will very often prioritize her desire to see new places and travel around over relationships. It’s about the journey, yes, but it’s also about her intense desire to feel free which comes from a childhood of constant criticism and frequent abuse, as well as it’s just a result of her magic. The wilds call to her. This is why in verses where Beck is married and forced to stay still, she keeps herself almost frantically busy, and she doesn’t cope well in urban areas bc she still needs that exposure to the wilderness. 

Essentially, the first neutral is that Beck values her own freedom and comfort over the comfort of others. But she’s not emotionless; leaving people hurts. When she left Harper, even though it was her choice, she cried for months. Her solution? Just don’t get close to people. Keep them at an arm’s length. Because the desire to leave is going to come, and someone is going to get hurt and Beck doesn’t like hurting people she loves or getting hurt herself.

The second thing is Beck was severely mistreated by her mother after the death of her father. Denise removed her children from the home and family they knew, took them somewhere else, changed their names, and then proceeded to neglect and abuse them away from prying eyes that might call her out on it. People were just too scared to go against her. Beck bore a little more weight from the abuse because Denise didn’t like her. She was defiant, unlike Fen. Then her mother died (in most verses; in my GoT verse she dies later), and she was given to her great aunt and uncle to raise, and they were abusive as well. Then her brother, once they were older, started to lose his grip on his sanity, and he abused her too. 

So Beck’s essentially been passed from family member to family member, and even Fen, who at one time she loved and trusted more than anyone in the world, fucked her over.

This is NOT an excuse. People are handed their deck of cards in life and, to some extent, they make a choice. When Beck hit her crossroads the first time where she was with Harper, someone who could protect her and would believe her, she chose to leave. Again after Fen kills her familiar Dawnbreaker, and she’s found a way to escape, she doesn’t go tell someone what he’s doing. She doesn’t skip the country and make a life for herself in a city where no one will find her with a coven that might protect her. She chooses to go back to the wild. When that very action is what she knows provokes the anxiety and rage in Fenris in the first place.

Over time, both of these factors, as well as the sheer amount of time she spends in isolation, has turned into the fact that Beck (who is also naturally kinda vain) usually doesn’t see people as anything but a danger or a nuisance. This is why she doesn’t care about stealing from them or conning them, and sometimes she even sees the act of manipulating others as kind of a game. It’s why if she feels slighted, she doesn’t feel even slightly sorry for sending a hex your way. She doesn’t even get pissed off about it really. It’s just like “oh he’s a prick... I’ll turn him into a cow for a week or so.” And she doesn’t think at all about how royally that could fuck someone up in their head, especially if they didn’t know about magic. She doesn’t care. 

She’ll hex people to get out of tight spots too. I won’t say she likes this, but if she feels it’s beneficial enough she won’t blink an eye. 

Like I said she’ll steal, and she’ll spy too. Now she’s not about to go steal like, national information that could endanger millions, but if you want a private investigator that doesn’t give a fuck about laws or privacy just go to Beck.

Probably the worst thing is that a lot of the times she is just either completely unaware of the problems of others or she doesn’t care unless it is extreme. She’s not going to let someone hurt a kid or beat a woman or something like that if she’s in a position where she knows about it and can stop it... but she won’t readily put herself in harm’s way just to help someone else either. It’s not a heroic “I must act now!” sort of thing if she gets involved. Even her work with the SoE in some verses where it is literally her job to remove people that are being abused from situations where the law won’t help, she does it because she feels like she owes the SoE a debt and she almost never puts herself at risk during that time.

Beck just---doesn’t consider people. Often her attempts to make them happy are a result of old coping mechanisms, channeling her own hyperactive energy, or an attempt to make them more pliable for manipulation. 

Beck is extremely difficult to get close to on a real level. After two years on this blog I can honestly say she’s got maybe one person SHE would call a friend outside of the muses I write and have given her extended history with. Even in many of her relationships, while she’s gotten to the point where she cares about the other person some and has started to think about how they might feel in a situation and put that on equal footing as how she feels.

I enjoy writing this because I feel like lots of people use this trait, but that they do it differently. Distant characters are often painted as cold sarcastic loners who are just kind of assholes. That’s not Beck. She’s very warm and bubbly and she can be attracted to people, interested in people, and kind to people, all while consistently lying to them, keeping her true feelings bottled up, and lacking trust in them entirely. And like I said she doesn’t really realize that she devalues people like this, but she does. She only realizes it later when she starts to care for them and often has to dig herself out of a mountain of lies she’s told. Some of which are even actively dangerous to the other person.

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Exclusive 1/3

Pairing: LYJ x OC (Melanie/Li Xiangjun) || CXK x OC (Serena/Jiang Yingyue) Genre: slice of life, college!au, fluff Word Count: 4,389 Summary: Lin Yanjun openly flirts with Melanie, yet she’s tired of his games and can’t take him seriously. Cai Xukun and Serena chill on a daily, but there’s gotta be more than that between them. Eventually enough, the boys just want the girls exclusively to themselves.

part one.part two.part three

Warning: matured content as in college related stuff. swear words. NOT MOBILE FRIENDLY! not sure why, but it has all the breaks and stuff while on a desktop. (teach me if mobile is different and it can be done!)

Here is my second one! Not requested, but will get to the one that I did receive! Also this is going to be split into parts because I had a commentator complain about the length that they had to scroll, but like I can’t do anything about that if you’re on mobile besides give a warning. Anyways, so yeah, this is part 1 of and happy reading! kthxbai, Admin Lia~

"Alright, fellas. Tomorrow's the start of our annual one day scavenger hunt." Yu Bin, the president of Iota Phi Theta, announced to his fellow members. "I know there hasn't been any incidents as of yet, but don't break any laws or school's rules while obtaining the picture or video proofs in completing the list." Yu Bin reminded them. "I-P-T ain't like that and we're not going to start now."

"So when it hits midnight you guys can start on the list." Li Junyi, the vice-president of IPT, spoke next. "You have until eleven-fifty-nine P-M to return back to the house. You'll be disqualified if you're not back before then and your points won't be added to Iota Phi Theta's End of the School Year raffle. Or for the chance to be I-P-T's center for the End of the Year photo and host of the last banquet. Or the monthly prizes."

"Let's all remember it's all for fun so there's no real competition except if you wanna win the raffle and center and host positions, of course." Zhou Rui, the secretary of IPT, informed them with a smile. "An entry with your name is added to the raffle for every thirty-five points you earn. So make it count if you're aiming for that." His gaze then scanned the many faces before him. "If not, then you can still turn your points in for awesome monthly prizes."

"Don't forget your placards needs to be present in the picture or video as it will indicate validation." Kaihao, the treasurer of IPT, concluded. "We ask all of you fellow brothers to represent Iota Phi Theta with respect and anyone or something else involved with respect, too." Kaihao looked at the other three for approval as the trio either nodded before gazing back at the members. "Meeting adjourned. Have a good night, fellas"

Serena abruptly woke to Melanie's ring tone going off. She sat up in bed to glare at the sleeping figure who wasn't disturbed by the sudden sound at all as it continued to ring and vibrate simultaneously. Serena let out a huff as she felt about her bed for something to throw at Melanie. Once she felt one of her stuffed dolls she chucked it at Melanie across the room, but it missed its target.

Serena reached once more around her bed, found another doll a second later, and threw it. It made contact with its target, but it surely didn't wake the sleeping girl. Serena groaned while rubbing her face in annoyance, but lied back down when the ringing stop.

Closing her eyes once more, Serena groaned when Melanie's phone went off again. "I swear this bitch has selective hearing even while asleep."

Serena let out a sigh as she rose from bed and made her way over to Melanie. Shaking the edge of the bed with her foot, Melanie didn't budge from the action. Serena moved her foot and tapped on Melanie's feet, but still nothing. Serena rolled her eyes and placed both hands to shake Melanie's figure roughly which jerked the other girl awake.

"Hmm?" Melanie hummed in a half-awake and half-asleep state.

"Answer your phone. It went off twice and I'm sure who's ever trying to contact you is gonna call again." Serena said in a tired tone just as Melanie's phone went off again. "Answer it or I'm chucking that shit out the window."

This woke Melanie as she brushed off Serena's threat. "Yeah, yeah, go back to bed, Rina."

Serena huffed to indicate that she was still annoyed, but returned to her bed while Melanie checked to see who it was and silenced the sound to not annoy her friend some more. Melanie noticed the two missed calls as well as several text messages from three people. Not wanting to deal with it at the moment Melanie silenced her phone until it was placed for only alarms to go off which would be at around 9ish AM and went back to bed.

Serena did the same thing when she felt the first vibration upon settling back in bed. It was only twenty-one minutes passed eleven, but she needed all the sleep she could get before attending her 8AM class tomorrow. The other person can totally wait until then. Or not. Depending on her mood.

"You have got to be kidding me." Serena said in disbelief upon arriving early to her 8AM class which was apparently cancelled for the rest of the week. "You think by now I would check the stupid thing." She scolded herself before sighing afterwards while running a hand through her hair.

Serena heard a chuckle from behind her and turned around to see her classmate and friend, Cai Xukun, standing there with two bubble tea drinks and an amused expression upon his face. "I knew you'll be here since you hardly check your phone or the school's app."

"Oh you're so smart, KunKun." Serena mockingly stated as cast him a tired look. "What are you doing here anyways if you knew class was cancelled?"

"Well, I knew you would show up and thought I would make your morning better after realizing there's no class this early morning." He grinned as Serena rolled her eyes. "Oh wow, the great and mighty Cai Xukun gracing me with his royal presence."

Xukun's excited expression dampened a bit. "Gee, thanks. I was going to give you this taro milk tea to make you feel better, but instead I'll enjoy it myself." He smirked as he took a sipped out of the purple drink. "Ah, so delicious."

"Go ahead." She shrugged as she walked right passed him. "I'll buy myself something else and kill time before my next class."

Xukun followed after her with a pout. "You know it was for you."

"I do, but you put your nasty germs on it and so I don't want it."

"But you share things with everyone else though?"

"I know, but you're a different story."

"Then you can have the other one." He offered her the yellow drink.

"No thanks. I don't really like passion fruit."

"It's not like I have cooties, YingYing."

"Um, KunKun, have you forgotten that you're a bit of a germophobe? That's why I said you were a different story." Serena eyed him as Xukun shrugged nonchalantly. "A little bit, but it's not that big of a deal. Really."

"Yeah right, next time say that in front of your fangirls because I don't wanna get killed by them which I realized right now and am definitely surprised that there are none lurking around sending me death glares."

"Stop. I don't have fangirls. They're just..." Xukun trailed off as Serena cast him a knowing look and repeated her previous statement. "Fangirls."

"Whatever you wanna call them, they won't kill you. You're my friend and I haven't seen them give you any dirty looks."

"Because, one, they're two-faced because when you turn around their so-called angelic face appears. Two, I'm a female friend that's closer to you than they'll ever be to which to this day I still don't know how we're friends, honestly. We don't really have that much in common."

"Friends don't always have to have similar interests, Ying. It's mutual respect and a connection. Anyways, is that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing?" Xukun interjected upon hearing the friend part

"You can take it however you want." Serena chuckled before continuing. "Anyways, I guess that's true about not having similar interests. Maybe that's why you're a brat and always copy my homework and sit next to me in class when you can literally sit anywhere else."

"Because you have better handwriting and you don't stare at me constantly."

"I wonder why." She rolled her eyes before shooting him a look. "Psh. And here you say they're not your fangirls." Serena then took the purple drink from him and took a sip. "Thanks though, but you still owe me something to eat from last time."

"Yeah, yeah. I know. You won't stop reminding me. Anyways, forget about them. They're not important." He dismissed the topic about the fangirls. "I'll meet you in the library at our usual spot then." Xukun informed her as the two split in different directions.

Melanie was peacefully sleeping before it was disrupted by her phone going off. At first she didn't hear it, but eventually after the third time it went off, she woke and stared at her phone in confusion.

"Didn't I put it only for the alarm?"

She chucked it and realized she didn't and only assumed that she did. She let out a sigh when her phone went of again.

"Hello?" She answered sleepily not even checking to see who the caller was.

"Hey, do you have a bra that you no longer use and are willing to give it up. No questions ask?" The person on the other side asked causing Melanie to open her eyes with furrowed eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"I want your bra, JunJun. Give it to me." He demanded seriously and Melanie finally looked at her mobile screen to see who the caller was and rolled her eyes before sitting up in bed. "Shut up, Fen. The last time I gave you my bra you gave me back another girl's bra."

"I said I was sorry."

"It wasn't even the same size or color."

"I said I would buy you a replacement."

"Which I'm still waiting for, my dude."

"I'm working on it, but I really need it." There was a pause before another voice spoke. "Can you make it two, Jun?"

"Ugh, BoBo. I thought you were better than this."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Both males asked a second later as Melanie groaned. "I'm going back to bed. Talk to me after I wake up."

"Fine. We'll see you in class." The duo responded and Melanie hung up on them with a sighed. "So annoying."

Serena was casually making her way towards the library and before she could walk up the steps towards the building she suddenly and loudly heard her nickname, Yue Tu which meant Moon Rabbit, being shouted from behind her. Just as she had turned around to see who it was she was suddenly tackled to the ground with the person on top of her while her drink fumbled away from her.

"Smile!" The male announced happily as he held up his phone with one hand while the other hand held a placard to take a self-portrait of himself and Serena whereas Serena partially blocked her face in time while trying to shove off another friend and classmate of hers off of her. "Get off, Qin Zimo!"

Zimo chuckled nervously as he obeyed while backing away from Serena with a good amount of space between them as another friend and classmate, Jing Peiyao, joined them a moment later while catching his breath.

"Sorry, Yue. I would have stopped him, but once he saw you he ran so fast that I couldn't keep up." Peiyao said once he caught his breath before a cheeky smile appeared on his face. "Also, I wanted to see what would happen and the outcome was hilarious."

"You're a brat, Yao." Serena scoffed while fixing herself, but shot the two a friendly look. "What are you two doing out and about?"

"Trying to complete the scavenger list." Zimo answered as he held up his placard. "I really want that anime figurine set although I have no idea which anime figurines they are."

"Of course." Serena rolled her eyes before it landed on the boba that Xukun had given her. "You owe me a drink, MoMo."

"I will if only..."

"If only what?"

"Basically Zimo wants you to help him out with gaining points." Peiyao answered with a blank look. "That's why he ran so fast to catch you."

"The last time I helped I still didn't get my reward."

Zimo nervously rubbed the back of his neck before casting the female a pleading look. "I will double the reward, for sure this time, just please help me out, Yue Tu, especially since your a Nu Chi Phi member and it'll double or even triple the points."

"Ugh, fine, but I'm only doing two with you since you tackled me." She then glared at him. "You already took one, so you're left with one now."

"Oh, thank you, thank you!" Zimo thanked her while wrapping his arms around her in a hug. "You're the best."

"Yeah, yeah, just tell me one of them that you need to do."

"I don't get why you put up with it, Yue, when you know that you don't want to do it." Peiyao stated as Serena shrugged. "I dunno. I guess you gotta give good karma to receive good karma."

"Wow. So it's basically for your own selfish gain?"

"Sure, why not? Don't judge me, Yao." She narrowed her eyes at Peiyao. "How come you're not doing any?"

"Because I have enough points to get what I want already." He answered with a smirk. "Besides, I would rather enter the raffle then collect now."

"I see."

"Anyways, I already did the 'Tackle the opposite gender'. Let's see what else I can do." Zimo muttered loudly as he checked his list and marked off the ones that he had already done. "Oh, how about this one, Yue Tu?"

Zimo showed Serena the option as Serena nodded. "Sure, MoMo."

Zimo happily got his phone ready to take the picture as Serena endured the Iota Phi Theta's scavenger list for the sake of friendship while partially covering her face since she didn't want to get exposed either. She ended up doing a few more. The things she does in wanting to help out Zimo since the subjects weren't breaking laws or humiliating towards the members or others. Something she gave Iota Phi Theta credit for while being a fraternity.

Peiyao laughed at the scenes before him as he knew this wasn't Serena's thing, but she still went with it just for the sake of being a kind friend. Of course Serena glared at Peiyao when the camera wasn't in her face because she knew his taunting laughter was just to tease her. After that the trio bid good-byes with Serena picking up her wasted boba drink to toss before making her way inside the library.

Melanie was woken again by her phone, but by a different person. She ignored it the first and second time, but grew annoyed when her mobile went off again and she gruffly answered the caller.

"What?"

"Sheesh. Who peed in your cereal this morning?" The male responded.

"That's nasty, Jing." Melanie replied as she sat up in bed knowing she wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep and should've silenced her phone after Qin Fen had called her. "What do you want, You. Zhang. Jing?"

"Wow. Seriously, Li. Xiang. Jun." He mimicked the way she said his name before speaking normally again. "Why are you so grouchy, huh?"

"Because I can't go back to sleep now. People been bothering me with phone calls all morning. Like you."

"Rude. I was gonna invite your fellow fat ass out for breakfast, but since you're being such a morning bitch, Xiang, I'll leave you alone."

"Breakfast where?"

"Oh, now she wants to play nice."

Melanie rolled her eyes hearing the sarcasm in her friend's voice. "Shut up, Jing. You still owe me from last. Four times."

Zhangjing groaned. "You're still keeping tabs on that? That was like weeks ago."

"Yeah, because your bitch ass supposedly forgot your wallet those four times."

"I did forget it. What?" Zhangjing hurriedly changed the topic to avoid facing Melanie's annoyance tone once again. "Anyways, XiangXing, I got you, girl. I won't forget my wallet and I'll even treat you. Whatever you want."

Melanie grew suspicious. "What's the catch?"

"What are you talking about? There's no catch."

"Yeah there is. You never offered to treat me. And you also never say 'whatever you want' so there's more to this than you're telling me."

"That part was an afterthought, Xiang. Don't get so analytical." Zhangjing scoffed. "So yes or no to breakfast?"

"Yes. Text me and I'll meet you."

"Already did."

"Brat."

Zhangjing laughed as he hung up and Melanie went to get ready for the day.

Xukun entered the quiet area where he and Serena met often in the library and hung out while spotting his friend sleeping with her arms folded on the table and her head using them as a pillow. He chuckled at the sight while placing a bagel sandwich with ham and cheese along with a Starbucks coffee by her things.

Once Xukun settled in the chair next to her while taking a sip of his own Starbucks drink did Serena stir awake and looked over at him sleepily while scrunching her nose at the aroma of the drinks. "Gah, I hate the smell of coffee."

Xukun's eyebrows furrowed. "I thought you like coffee?"

"I actually don't like coffee at all." Serena answered as she pushed her coffee away and towards Xukun while picking up the bagel to eat. "Thanks."

Xukun stared at Serena questioningly in mid-bite of his own bagel sandwich. "Wait a minute, YingYing. Are you telling me that you hate coffee despite me buying it for you every time we have study sessions together since we've met?"

"Uh, yeah, basically." Serena answered with a sheepish laugh. "Sorry, not sorry?"

"Dude, why didn't you just tell me? You honestly finished it every time or leave a little bit and I didn't think anything of it."

"Because you genuinely looked pleased every time you gave it to me and I just didn't have the heart to tell you or throw away a majority of it since you used your own money to buy it."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me."

"You'll get over it. Anyways, KunKun, now you have double the coffee for your day today."

Xukun side-eyed her while taking the other drink back and taking a quick sip from it. "What else are you hiding from me?"

"A lot of things, KunKun. A lot." Serena answered nonchalantly as she bit into her sandwich while not expanding further leaving Xukun to just leave it at that for now.

When he brought out his materials to study, a loose piece of paper floated to the ground and Serena went to retrieve it instead before Xukun could. Upon closer inspection she realized that it was the same IPT scavenger list that Zimo had.

"I forgot you were in Iota Phi Theta. " Serena said while placing the paper on top of his bag. "So you're doing this, too?"

"Something like that." Xukun answered as he picked it up to scan it. "I haven't really started, but I don't think I'm going to do it either."

"Why not?"

"I don't have time. I really need to pass my classes this semester. I barely managed last semester."

"It's easier to do with a friend. The scavenger hunt list, I mean. I'm sure you have some."

Xukun rolled his eyes. "I do, Ying. I'm not completely as anti-social as you, but my schedule doesn't correlate well with theirs."

Serena glanced at him dismissing the comment about her being anti-social. "Do you want to complete the list?"

"Well yeah, I do, but I don't have the time to do so."

"What do you get out of this list if you complete the whole thing?"

"Well the points I accumulate will give me entries to the End of the School Year raffle."

"But there's something else that you want, right?"

Xukun smiled embarrassed as the thought of what he wanted popped into his head. "Yeah."

"And that is?" Serena tried to get it out of him. "Tell me and I'll help you."

"You will?" He asked shocked before eyeing her suspiciously. "Wait, why? You would rather be in bed right now than doing anything really productive."

"I have my moments, Kun, and I feel like doing something productive today besides school stuff at the moment."

"Y'know there's like fifty things on that list."

"True, but it's mainly to help out a friend. Also I know that you want this. So what is it?"

"If I complete that list or score the most points out of anyone for that list, then I get to be center for the group photo when school's over."

"That's it?"

"Yeah. Oh and I get to host the final house banquet this school term and the first house banquet next school term."

"Okay, that's good."

Xukun looked at Serena unsure. "Are you sure you want to help me?"

"I mean, not really, but I don't mind helping out others from time to time." Serena shrugged with a small smile.

"Alright, thanks, but I do need a date though for the banquet."

"And I'm sure that won't be a problem."

"Could I ask you in advance since you won't be all..."

"Fangirl mode."

"Yeah."

"See, even you're thinking they're fangirls now."

Xukun rolled his eyes, but looked at her with hopeful eyes. "So what do you say? Will you be my date?"

"I'll think about it."

Xukun scoffed at her response as Serena chuckled. "Anyways, let's go make you center, Cai Xukun, and a banquet host."

Melanie was currently messaging Zhangjing asking him how long he'll be since she's been waiting at Little Tangerine for at least ten minutes now when she heard the chair across from her scraped against the floor and assumed it was her friend.

"About ti-" She paused when she saw Lin Yanjun instead of Zhangjing and mentally strangled Zhangjing in her head. "I knew it was a set up."

Yanjun chuckled as he glanced at her. "What's a set up? I thought we were all meeting for breakfast?"

"Zhangjing didn't mentioned a third party."

Yanjun shrugged with a smile. "He mentioned you to me."

"I bet." Melanie rolled her eyes before roaming her eyes over to the male before her. "Anyways, then where is the one that invited us?"

"Dunno."

"You guys are roommates."

"Doesn't mean I keep tabs on him."

"Mmhmm."

Melanie leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms over her chest shooting Yanjun a knowing look. Yanjun imitated her posture, but he had on an amused expression instead. The two stared at one another for a good few seconds before Yanjun broke the silence.

"Don't give me that look, Melanie."

"What look, Evan?"

"The one you're giving me now."

"What about it?"

"Stop looking like you wanna kill me."

"Oh, it's not you I wanna kill, today. It's your friend."

Yanjun rolled his eyes as he casually leaned forward. "He's your friend, too, but don't kill him yet. I still need him to pass this semester and you can kill me after I graduate."

"Fine." Melanie rolled her eyes, but relaxed her posture. "Anyways, what are you doing here when you and I don't ever hang out?"

"Zhangjing invited me of course, Xiangjing, but really I came for the bread." Yanjun grinned as Melanie shook her head with a laugh. "You can buy bread anywhere, Yanjun, and say no to the invite."

"But I love the ones here and why would I say no when I get to see your lovely face."

He grinned at her as Melanie made a disgusted face before brushing off his rights. "Right."

Silence fell between them again with neither of them wanting to get up and make an order. The duo continued to wait for Zhangjing who was still running late. Yanjun broke the silence once more.

"Hey, so I was wondering if-"

Melanie interrupted him. "No."

"But you haven't even heard the whole thing yet."

"I don't care."

"But you don't even know what I was gonna ask you."

"After what happened last time, Evan, I don't wanna be involved with whatever you got going on for the fourth time." Melanie narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm going to put a restraining order on you the next time you you want a crazy psycho bitch of a fangirl to stop bothering you."

"Look, they all have their moments." Yanjun tried to explain, but Melanie held up a hand to stop him.  "Save it. I don't care because I'm not gonna let you use me again for a fourth time to which I didn't even agree with the other three times. You basically forced me and put me on the spot each time."

"Okay, Melanie, okay. I get it. I'm sorry." Yanjun apologized with a genuine expression. "I know it was selfish of me to use you as my pretend girlfriend to get these girls off my back, but you happened to be conveniently there at my time of need all those times."

"So were practically twenty other girls, Lin. Yan. Jun."

"I trusted you the most."

"We're only mutual through mutual. We're technically not even friends if I was to be honest. Hell, even Yirang, Fu Jing, Manjun, and Niyi were there and you know them better than you know me and you could've used them over me."

"You were closer." Yanjun reasoned as Melanie rolled her eyes giving up on trying to pull the truth out of him while standing up and collecting her things. "Whatever. I'm gonna order and sit at another table so that I don't have to deal with you further within the morning."

"Oh, c'mon, Xiangjun. My company's not that bad."

"Not really you, per se, Yanjun, I think, but those involved around you just gives me a headache with all the bullshit that surrounds you."

"Wow."

"Okay, bye!" Melanie happily told him while making her way towards the front counter as Yanjun looked after her with a defeated expression before his phone pinged indicating he received a message.

He checked it and saw that it was from Zhangjing. 'Lin Yanjun, zero. Li Xiangjun, nine thousand'. Yanjun glanced around the shop and spied his friend across the room in disguise while eating a bag of chips and waving at him mockingly.

'Better sleep with one eye open tonight, buddy'. Yanjun messaged Zhangjing back before shooting him a smirk and Zhangjing stopped his little antics and hurriedly left Little Tangerine without Melanie noticing him.

[sqgworld]

Parallels..?

Okay, so I’m back with another (potentially) long text post about lore dynamics in a videogame world: this time it’s Dragon Age! More specifically I’m gonna be talking about the elven gods and their similarities to a certain real life pantheon, so, be warned, rambles – and potential spoilers – under the cut.

Right, so... Norse mythology is what I’m here to talk to you about today, ladies and gentlemen, because this is literally a thing that has been rattling around in my head since a figured out that the word elvhen word “fen” just straight up means wolf. So that was my first clue. Let’s get another relatively small and perhaps entirely coincidental thing out of the way: the fact that I have – and I can’t remember exactly where, but likely somewhere in DAI – seen Elgar’nan be referred to as “the Allfather”. Sound familiar? Also, the fact that Mythal behaves very much like Frigg in the original Norse myths – she’s the only one that can calm down Odin and is the only other person allowed to sit on his throne – is also a really neat thing.

But, none of this is why I’m writing this thing and not even the greatest reason I have for believing that Bioware pulled quite a bit on Norse mythos when constructing at least certain aspects of the elven pantheon. No, my strongest evidence for this perceived parallel lies with, you might have guessed it if you read the tags, Fen’Harel. Also note that I am not talking about Baldy McEgghead here (though he will help my case), but about the parallels between Fen’Harel the trickster god and Loki, of the same titel.

Okay, so I already prefaced this entire thing by saying that this all started when I realised that the word “fen” means “wolf”, and I honestly don’t know why it took me that long, considering that tricksters being associated with the lupine is not necessarily a common thing in religion (please correct me if I’m wrong), and while Loki himself might not be wolfy he is certainly the father of a pretty big one: the Fenris wolf, or Fenrir, depending on how you like your apple pie. Already, there’s the association of the word – or syllable – “fen” with lupine that these two religions have in common, as well as the association with the trickster more or less directly. So far so good. Other thematic things in common between Fen’Harel and Loki is that... they don’t quite belong with their respective pantheons. We know Fen’Harel doesn’t belong because he directly tells us that he was fighting against the Evanuris and their reign, while Loki’s lack of belonging is not quite so... visceral. In Norse mythos, Loki is traditionally portrayed as half Æsir – the same race as most of the other Norse gods – and half Jotunn – the mortal enemies of the gods, that are in English very often referred to as “frost giants”, though that name is wholly unfitting – and everybody is very aware of this distinction between themselves and the trickster. And while both tricksters have good friends among their respective pantheons – Mythal and Thor, respectively – they’re not very well liked, necessarily, by anybody else.

But the big clincher; the real ace in the hole; hook, line and sinker, is this one passage in a codex entry from – I believe – DAO: Fen’Harel was said to have been able to walk among both the Creators – the elven gods – and the Forgotten Ones – some speculate these to be the Archdemons – safely, as both sides considered him one of them. That was really when the “!” went off in my head and I just went: “Holy shit! Loki can do the exact same thing!” Owed to his mixed heritage, Loki walks, often, freely amongst both the jotunns and the æsir and both sides think he belongs with them, if, perhaps, a bit begrudgingly. Also, we have Fen’Harel, according to Dalish lore, locking both the Creators and Forgotten Ones away, causing the fall of the elves – in the most literal sense, the destruction of the elven world, as it later turns out – and who is it that starts Ragnarok, the Norse apocalypse? Traditionally, that’s Loki’s doing.

Phew! So good to finally have that off my chest. I hope this all makes sense to you, because I’ve literally just been writing down any and everything that came to mind. I know the analogy isn’t perfect and that not all aspects of the elven religion are based off Norse mythology; for instance, I’m quite sure Andruil is supposed to be based off Artemis from Greek mythology, just off the top of my head. But at the very least, I am strongly convinced that Fen’Harel draws very strongly from that most infamous of Norse tricksters, Loki.

Have I overlooked something? Do you know another god that would fit this even better? Please feel free to tell me, I’d love to hear what you have to say and I’m always willing to learn more!

[wolf-in-the-stars]

PROMPT: “My kid followed you out of the store because you’re wearing the same coat as me and they got confused” AU

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

I know, I know, I promised this week’s (months) ago but I’m literal trash and have so busy but I hope you guys like it!! tw: abusive past relationship.

- Remus couldn’t stop smiling all day.

- Sirius had texted him first thing that morning, then continued throughout the day.

- It started off with Sirius wishing him a good morning and talking about last night.

- Then they started flirting, talking about what their first date would be like and how Sirius would definitely woo Remus with all the chocolates.

- Then they started sending silly joking messages that made Remus let out a breathy laugh each time.

- He could feel his stomach fluttering and his cheeks heat up everytime his phone buzzed in his pocket.

- Dora kept poking fun at him, but kind heartily.

- She was over the moon that Remus finally seemed to let someone into his life.

- He had a rough past when it came to relationships.

- He’d only ever been in one real relationship, and that ended badly.

- To be honest, the whole relationship was bad.

- Dora despised that man that Remus used to be with when they were 16.

- The way he used to treat Remus disgusted her.

- Fen was older than Remus by at least 5 years.

- At the beginning, Remus felt special that an older man wanted him.

- That was until 5 months into the relationship when the abuse started.

- It was a long three years when Remus was with Fenir Greyback.

- He tried to leave, but he couldn’t. 

- Fen had a hold over him that frightened everyone.

- Since the end of that relationship, he decided to never to get involved in another one.

- And that was over ten years ago.

- He had the odd fling now and then, but nothing note worthy.

- But since having Teddy, the flings had stopped.

- This Sirius person, however, seemed to be wonderful and really captured Remus’ affection.

- And for that, Dora will always be grateful to them.

- Teddy was sat on a cushion on the floor in the living room playing Batman Lego and chatting out loud to anyone that would listen.

- He couldn’t stop talking about how fantastic last night was playing with Harry and Padfoot and kept mithering about when they could go visit again.

- Sirius texted and asked Remus the exact same question.

- Remus was sat in the armchair watching Teddy play his game and holding his phone to his chest, awaiting the next reply.

- Dora walked into the room holding a brew for each of them.

- She placed Remus’ down on the table next to him and earned a “thanks love” in reply, though he didn’t look away from the TV screen.

- “Go out with them tonight, Remus.” She pushed.

- Remus looked up with a start.

- “Don’t you think it’s too soon though? I mean, we only met yesterday …” Remus fretted whilst picking at the edges of his phone case.

- “Does it feel like it’s too soon Remus? Honestly?” Dora placed her open palm on his shoulder. 

- “I think they really like you, and I think you really like them. You owe it to yourself to at least try.” 

- Remus was silent, but nodded slightly.

- Dora sighed heavily and dropped down into Remus lap.

- “You’re insufferable, Lupin,” she complained. 

- “Yeah, whatever Tonks,” he rolled his eyes and nudged her with his shoulder.

- She chuckled lightly and ran her fingers through his hair as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

- “You’re scared it’s going to be like last time, aren’t you?” She whispered so Teddy couldn’t hear.

- He had finally stopped chatting about Harry and Padfoot and was enthralled in his game.

- Remus bit the inside of his cheek and stared down at his phone.

- “I don’t want to loose myself again, Dora.” He confessed, “I have Teddy, you and Fleur. I don’t want to loose my independence and become solely reliant on them.”  

- He sighed heavily and leant around Dora to pick up his cup of tea and took a small sip.

- “Fen was nice at first, too.”

- “I know, love. But I think Sirius will be different. They already sound amazing.”

- They fell silent watching their son who was oblivious to the melancholy mood that had fallen over the room.

- The front door suddenly opened with a call of hellos.

- Teddy gasped and jumped up in cheer and ran towards the hallway.

- “It’s maman!” he chanted. 

- “Salut la famille!” Fleur smiled as she walked into the living room, Teddy attached to her hand, looking up to her in awe.

- When she saw Remus and Dora cuddled up on the arm chair, she threw her hand to her mouth with a comical gasp.

- “Unhand my femme, Monsieur Lupin!” She playfully scowled and pointed at him.

- “Never!” He wrapped his arms around Dora’s waist to keep her from moving who jokingly squirmed in his grasp to reach her wife.

- “Teddy! The terrible Pirate Monsieur Lupin has taken me hostage!” 

- Fleur fake gasped and bent down to Teddy’s level.

- “Theodore, whatever shall we do to recuse the fair maiden?!”  

- “I’ll save her, Maman! For Mummy!” He howled his battle cry and ran towards his Daddy.

- Remus chuckled and held his hands up in mock surrender.

- Dora quickly jumped up and over to Fleur and planted a sound kiss onto her lips.

- Teddy screamed with laughter and dived onto his Daddy, tickling his small fingers under his arms. 

- “Argh, ye got me, ye got me! I handed da booty!” He chuckled like a pirate, tickling Teddy’s sides in retaliation earning childish squeals in return.

- “How was your trip, love?” Remus smiled whilst manoeuvring Teddy into his side for a cuddle.

- Dora pulled Fleur over to the sofa on the wall near the chair and wrapped herself around her.

- “It went well,” she smiled, settling herself against Dora’s shoulder, “anything exciting happen whilst I was away?”

- Remus blushed slightly whilst Dora beamed.

- “I made new friends, maman!” Teddy pushed out his chest with pride.

- “And also ran away from Daddy whilst at the supermarket, didn’t you mister?” Remus furrowed his eyebrows with a mischievous smirk.

- Teddy bit his lip with a shame face.

- “Teddy.” Fleur scolded.

- “But, that’s how I met Harry and Padfoot, Maman!” He whined.

- “Ooh, Harry and Padfoot? Is that your friends dog?” She smiled with genuine interest.

- Remus barked with laughter whilst Dora giggled into Fleur’s neck. 

- Fleur furrowed her perfect brows with confusion.

- “No,” Teddy said as-a-matter-of-factly, “Padfoot is Harrys God-Daddy! He’s is Daddy best friend and his Papa’s brother, Harry told me!”

- “Yeah, and Remus and Teddy went over for a play DATE yesterday, didn’t you?” She winked at Fleur, hoping she’d pick up on her meaning.

- Which of course she did if her bright smile aimed at Remus was anything to go by.

- Remus blushed even harder than before and sunk a little lower in the chair, jolting Teddy on the way.

- “Yeah, and it was soooo much fun! Daddy made hotpot!” Teddy patted Remus on the head in a loving gesture. 

- “Oh, hotpot,” She groaned, “what I wouldn’t do for some of your famous hotpot, Remus. I haven’t eat properly all day!” 

- “There’s some left in the fridge that I can warm up for you, Fleur,” he smiled, standing to his feet whilst picking Teddy up and putting him down in between his Mum’s. 

- He quickly placed a kiss to Fleur’s cheek and walked in to the kitchen.

- “I saw Daddy and Padfoot nearly kiss yesterday, maman!” Teddy whispered when his Dad left the room.

- “Really?” She cooed, her eyes shifting to Dora’s. “Do we approve?”

- Dora shrugged, cuddling Teddy tighter to them.

- “I haven’t met them yet, but they sound lovely. Remus looks positivity smitten today, and Teddy likes them, don’t you?”

- “Yeah, they’re cool.” Which was high praise from him.

- “Their name is actually Sirius, apparently Padfoot is a nickname but, yeah. They sound like they really like Remus, keeps asking to go on a date with him.”

- She heavily sighed and picked at a pick of fluff stuck in Teddy’s hair.

- “But you know what your Daddy’s like, don’t you pal?”

- Teddy nodded. 

- “But I think he should date them. I don’t like him being lonely.” 

- Fleur’s face fell. 

- “Your Daddy isn’t lonely, bébé. He has you! And us.” She caressed his cheek.

- Teddy sighed dramatically, leaning into her palm.

- “I knows, but what about when we go back to our house? Daddy’s on his own thens. He must get a little sad.”

- Dora lifted up her head at that. She hadn’t thought about that before.

- “Well, why don’t we go and set a little date up for Daddy with Padfoot then, hey?” She winked with mischief. “It’s got to be a secret okay? Can’t tell Daddy. It’s a surprise!” 

- “Yeah!” He cheered loudly, then slapped his little hand to his mouth.

- “Yeah” he whispered again, earning a giggle from his mum’s.

- “Come on then you. Let’s go see Sirius. Fleur-”

- “I know, I know, I’m distraction.” She winked, kissing both of their cheeks and walking into the kitchen after Remus.

- Dora gave herself a second to stare lovingly after her beautiful wife, before jumping off the sofa with Teddy in hand.

- They quietly snuck out of the front door and ran over to Sirius’ house next door, both of them tripping up over the step to knock on the door.

- The door open slightly where a person with a furrow eyebrow stood.

- “Oh hello again Teddy, you must be his mum.” They said, flinging their door open wider with a larger smile.

- “Wotcher Sirius!” Dora beamed, “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Tonks. Remus and Teddy haven’t stopped talking about you all day.” 

- Sirius blushed prettily and ran their hand through the back of their hair.

- “O-oh, really? I hope they said only good things,” they bit their lip with a smirk. “Please, come in.“

- “Of course,” she winked and stepped over the threshold. “You’ve a lovely home.” 

- “Thanks.” He smiled brightly.

- “Anyway, I’m here to ask if you have any plans for the evening? Remus would love to go on a date with you, but he’s a little shy, bless him.”

- “Oh,” Sirius sighed a little, “are you sure it’s just being shy, and not the fact he just doesn’t … you know, want to? Go out with me, I mean?” They shifted a little awkwardly.

- “Definitely not!” Dora rushed. 

- With a quick look down to Teddy, she turned back to Sirius to whisper.

- “It’s not my place to say, but Remus hasn’t had good … experience when it comes to relationships or anything.”

- Sirius nodded and listened intently to her.

- “Do you think he would want to try? With me?” They seemed uncertain.

- “I think if he were ever to try, it would be with you.” She beamed. “He’s smitten for you.”

- “Yeah! His face keeps going all red when you text, like this,” Teddy rubbed his hands on his cheeks very fast so when he pulled away, they were red raw.

- Sirius chuckled.

- “Is that so? Well then, in that case.” They winked.

- “Brilliant! Say 7pm pop over to pick him up? I’ll make sure he’s ready. He likes Indian food.” Dora smiled.

- “I’ll be there. Thank you, Tonks.” 

- “Just make sure you treat my baby Daddy right, okay? I know where you live” She grinned.

- “I promise.” 

- Dora walked towards the front door, Teddy holding her hand again.

- She stopped with a jolt and turned back.

- “Wait a minute, Sirius … Sirius …” She mumbled to herself. “Is your last name Black?” Her eyebrows furrowed.

- “Erm … yes?”

- “Holy shit.” Her eyes widened.

- “Mummy! That’s a bad word!” Teddy scolded.

- “What?” She confusingly turned away from Sirius to her son, then back again, “Oh, yes, sorry, sorry Teddy you’re right, I meant shoot.”  

- Sirius sighed heavily with a dejected look.

- “I guess you just realised who I am and want me to stay away from Remus, right?"

- "No, it's just-"

-"It's okay. I get it. Its because I’m the elusive ex-heir of the Ancient and -”

- “-Nobel house of Black.” Dora unconsciously finished. “Yeah … this is going to sound crazy but … we’re cousins.”

- “What?” Sirius and Teddy both said in unison.

- “I’m Andromeda’s daughter.” 

- Sirius’ eyes grew twice their size.

- “Nymphadora?”

Tiny cliffhangerrrrrr, I hope you liked it! Sorry it took so long, don’t hate me

[harryshmjr]

02x09

it’s a bit late but it’s still here

SO MUCH happened in this episode and it was so intense. even though there were things that i hate and i want them to be finally over, i still think this episode was really good

- alec being a protective boyfriend is my everything. obviously magnus can take care of himself and they both know this but just the thought that he always wants to protect him means everything to me they need each other and they want to make sure that the other one is always safe and on their side

- magnus and alec talking about alec's jumping off the building was incredibly important. i'm glad they didn't just brush this off, especially when it's so obvious that alec is struggling with a lot of guilt and many issues and magnus has a history of suicide attempts. their relationship has such a strong and healthy foundation. they talk about everything, even when it's hard. but because of this, they know they can always count on each other no matter what

- it's super annoying that shadowhunters always run to magnus for help, like it's just a normal thing to do. and newsflash... he doesn't owe them anything. yes, he is a good person and he would always help his friends or his loved ones. but people need to start respecting him or at least... idk say a freaking 'thank you'? because he constantly saves their lives and they'd be long gone without him

- alec leaning against magnus and observing him when he’s using his magic was so beautiful. and i know it was probably less than a secon and i am very bitter about this (because we did get that still). however, it did happen and i prefer to focus of this. i love the idea of alec being so fascinated with magnus’ power

- i just really love magnus? he called alec to tell him about izzy and her addiction. and he knew that alec would be probably mad at him, even though magnus had done nothing wrong. but he knows this was a good thing to do and that he can't hide anything from alec, especially something so important this shows how much relationship with alec means to him. that he wants this to work and the only way is by being truthful to each other

- magnus' magic when he stopped alec was red. he was angry. he's never used this kind of magic on his boyfriend, it’s always been blue. but alec seriously shouldn't hit raphael. yes, i know he was angry and he had every right to be. but hitting someone is never the answer and raphael means so much to magnus. magnus would do anything to protect his son

- bless magnus for saying that raphael and izzy are toxic and that the only reason they're spending time with each other is because of their addiction. there are no feelings between them. it's only the desire to get high again

- magnus was so hurt and disappointed to see raphael again hooked up on blood, shadowhunter blood. and raphael was so hurt because he realised how this affects magnus who saved his life, probably more than once. plus, he tried to justify his actions and even compare this toxic thing he has to magnus' real relationship, the most healthy relationship

- alec taking control of the institute and finally shoving yin fen thing into victor's throat is my new aesthetic

- the downworlders' meeting was the best thing that happened in this episode four amazing leaders meeting with each other and making plans how to deal with the impossible situation magnus sitting right next to luke, exchanging information meliorn being a freaking badass in this amazing armor who was spilling tea about all of them i definitely need more moments like this. i’d love to see downworlders united because they have a common goal

- i loved jace a lot in this episode. he was doing everything to save clary. and his conversation with valentine was freaking badass. he was calm but making his point

- jimon interactions were amazing too. they might pretend that they don't like each other but at the end of the day, they always help each other. and when they have to, they can work together and get shit done 

- i can't enjoy any clary/simon scenes now because it's all about climon. and let's face it, this is one of the most forced relationships on the show (with raphael/izzy being number one, obviously) they're pretty much siblings, i don't want to see their makeout sessions? just get them away from me (although a t-shirt thrown into jace's face was funny)

- however, simon was amazing in this episode. trying to save clary, trying to be there for her when there was nothing else that he could do honestly, alberto absolutely killed it in every scene

- and now i’m so worried about him because he got kidnapped?!

- can they like... stop with all those creepy plot lines that they give izzy? because right now victor asking her out is literally the last thing she needs also, he's a guy who clearly can't take 'no' for an answer. isabelle deserves better than dealing with this

- where do i even begin to talk about raphael/izzy stuff. where do i begin to say how much i hate it i was actually hoping that raphael was trying to help her recover, just like magnus did all those years ago. that they were spending time together, raphael teaching izzy how to cook, sharing stories (even if it's kinda weird cause they barely know each other and they pretty much hated each other like couple of days ago? anyway) so imagine my disappointment when they showed us that izzy managed to manipulate raphael and now they're each other's drugs i hate this plot line with passion

- a scene between alec and izzy broke me. they mean so much to each other, they love each other so much and they would die for each other. but then this horrible plot line is ruining everything good that izzy has in her life? she doesn't deserve this. and it was really not fair to accuse alec that he hadn’t noticed anything. because he had. izzy was just doing everything to make him believe that she was fine.

- i really can't blame maia for trying to kill clary. she is terrified because she doesn't know much about all of this and she should have all the information. being scared isn't helping with making rational decisions

- maia was so... defeated when she started crying. that broke my heart into million pieces. she deserves everything that is good in this world, please just let me protect her (yes, i know she is a badass werewolf and she can protect herself and she did that. i still wanna protect her cause i love her so much)

- i loved badass luke so so much

- but i can't believe he would actually lock maia when he knows she gets claustrophobic? this is so cruel? and so very... not luke at all? he could see how scared she was and yet he did it anyway...

- madzie is the purest child. she only wants to save people she loves or people she thinks they're good. and i hate that she's being manipulated by valentine. she has no reason to suspect that he is lying to her, she only wants her nana back. i just hope they will save her too so malec can adopt her

- madzie making ice cream for herself was the cutest thing ever, protect this child

- can someone please save dot?! it's about time

- and at the end a very important thing, valentine can choke

[eternaltchotchke]

Aight and here's all the shit I got plus all the badges I could find for the years I've been to Sabo. 

I'll put a read more about like. Everything because I admittedly wanna talk about it, like Sabo as a whole because like I said in my last post, I think that's gonna be the last Saboten I'm going to...at least unless I do a booth. But that's besides the point. So yeah read more if you wanna read all my nostalgia shit. Stop here if you're good, lol. I’m warning you, it’s fucking long AF.

2009: My second ever convention. I actually got to go because a friend of mine got tickets for her birthday and she invited me to go with her. I was, like, the kind of person I think her parents wanted her to be like? ‘Cause at the time I was a nerd, but I was introverted and I think they were under the impression that I was a good christian straight girl(™) and well. Lol, neither of us were. This was way before I ever tried doing cosplay, and well, technically I did a really shitty Misty at PCC that same year, but like. OMG. It was terrible. I think this was the year I did a ‘lolita?’ outfit? But really it was just me trying to be edgy. It was kind of cute, but man, I would never wear it today.

2010: So this was senior year of high school and the con was actually at the Hilton just down the street from my school. It was my third convention and I got tickets for my friend and I invited my cousin, but he got food poisoning on one of the days he was going to go, so I ended up soloing it for the rest of the weekend. I went as Miki from Shugo Chara and...it was...bad, lol. I tried making the hat, and well, it was a craftfoam hat and everything else I just kind of found around the house. I don’t remember much else from this con to be honest, just that...I went as Miki for at least one day.

2011: This was the year that I got a lot more into Hetalia. I had just graduated from high school and was still kind of...figuring myself out. I dragged an, at the time, friend there with me to a Hetalia cafe and that was fun. I think that was the first time I’d had a con squish? Crush??? The America was mega cool and ooh, I know that was also the year I went to the Eyeshine concert! I was really into Johnny Yong Bosch’s voice ‘cause I was watching Code Geass and Bleach at the time, and well. I like voice actors a whole bunch? And the concert was really cool and I still have the video I saved from it...and yeah. Good times. Actually, p great times, heh.

2012: This was the year I finally went with con friends! God, it was such a good time because for once I had people to hang out with the whole weekend. I’d met a good majority of them at the last PCC and one of the main people I remember is Maddi who’s still one of my best of best friends. There’s also Sabby and again, one of the best friends a person can ever have. We weren’t close at the time, but I do have a pic with her in it? So. She was there. And I think one of the people in it is Hanna who is an awesome person and I love her so much. She’s great like, the coolest person and dang it all, I love my friends?

And then there are a lot of people that I hung out with at the time that...admittedly, I want to forget. One of them, I hate so very very much. Because they were a toxic person and terrible to my best friends and fuck, I wish I had actually stood up for my friends when I was younger and called out some of the shit they pulled because I should have. But. Well. Hindsight...and then the other? Well, I don’t hate but...I guess thinking back on things? It’s awkward and I was awkward and man, that was a...time. I see ‘em sometimes and it’s like, sweet bajeebus you haven’t changed at all.

There was a lot of shit that happened on the last day and like, one of it was there was a panel that didn’t go well and then the other was someone was kinda mega rude to a friend? And while yeah I understand their stance on things, they said things in a rude way that just...could’ve been said a lot better or at least in a kinder way.

But as a sidenote, that was the year I got Laboon! And I still have him, and I still love him. He’s a good whale.

2013: ...this was...the year of kind of an end to some things. But, the beginning of some really REALLY great things. This was the year I became really good friends with Jed, who is like, one of the best of best friends a person could have. He’s such a cool dude, and nerd, but also cool and I might not say it often enough but I’m really lucky to have become his friend. I gotta say that for all my friends, especially Sabby, Maddi, and Jed. I love y’all so much and really, I can’t imagine what my life would be like without y’all?

Anyway, this was the most stressful con I had ever been to. Admittedly? The first day was p good, I went as Cecil (here we go, Cecil version 1 lol) and Jed was Carlos and we had a good time all around. Theeeen Twitter ‘cause at the time, there was a lot of like...sonas for the websites and I was like, I have all that, I’ll be twitter! ...but I ended up having to wait a….long time for my friends to arrive and god, there was just...nothing but drama that day. It was not good.

Day 3 was 1000% better because me and Jed went back to Cecil and Carlos and all around that was just a dang good time. I think someone had actually told me that I was their headcanon Cecil? Which like. Literally made everything that weekend so much better because I was using my real hair (which at the time was sort of long) and I played up my brown skin. There were quite a few other Cecils, but from what I could remember, most of them were the blond white ones and that kind of helped me stand out.

Oh, and that was the first year we attempted flower crowns! Well, I tried, I literally got two garlands of roses and wrapped them around each other. We lost them on the first day, but another Carlos and Cecil found them, which was hilarious to me and I was really glad that happened actually, hah.

2014: HELL.

2015: --god no do you really wanna know about 2014? Okay one sec.

2014: So. I didn’t wanna pay for a ticket. I REALLY didn’t wanna pay for a ticket because also I was flat broke and honestly cons were so far out my price range at the time I shouldn’t have done it.

I did it anyway.

So 2014 was the year of volunteering and doing panels. It was also the first year we did a photo shoot, which was really fun and Maddi’s and Sabby’s were great. I still do love the ones we did for me and Jed, but there was something really nice and bright about the X-Ray and Vav stuff. To be completely honest? I don’t remember much like, for specifics of the con, just that we did panels and that I met a p cool Garrus cosplayer (who still cosplayed the same Garrus at PCC this year, and from the looks of it, it didn’t seem he made it at all more comfortable and I was like, DUDE. MAKE IT SO YOU CAN FREAKING SIT HOLY FUCK).

I’ve admittedly been going back through all my social media accounts to see if anything could jog my memory, and the only thing I remember clearly was that someone thought I was master chef in my Geoff cosplay and that was funny to me.

...I was also apparently America for a day. Which was p alright because I was admittedly a dang great America. Funny story, the only reason I know I was America was because someone from my past recognized us and snapped a pic. I’m like, looking at it and it’s just so funny to me that it turned out as good as it was for like, a really quick throw together thing.

2015: SHIT I HAD TO GO BACK TO MY OLD SHIT TO SEE WHAT THE HELL I WAS AND I FORGOT I THREW TOGETHER A CASUAL!DORIAN FOR THAT. Good fucking god, that’s hilarious, I was always somehow left tiddy commitee...even though it was a v casual Dorian, I guess I just had the right amount of hair for it, lol.

Also, it was the year that we did a panel for the Ladies of Hetalia and then we also did a Youtuber Let’s Players panel with prizes and I only remember spending the night before making those prizes, but the one that everyone really loved was the Geoff picture, which also was a fucking pain in the ass to make because would you be surprised that that picture was really hard to find a good enough quality one to print out? The best thing was though, that I kept running into the people who won the picture and I think some sort of cult formed around it. I’m not sure. I worry for that picture frame sometimes…

I think that was also the last time I cosplayed Cecil. Sabby was my Dana, which I mega appreciate her for, and I took a lot of liberties on my outfit...and based it much more heavily on the weirdness of Cec rather than the button up and tie version that was really popular. It was more fun just to do a Cecil cosplay TBH, and I actually can’t tell if Jed was there or not? I’m also not sure if Maddi was either...uhhh, most of the stuff I can find are selfies of me and Sabby which...I’m not sure of a lot of details actually.

2016: Man, that was the year of Undertale, Dragon Age, and Hamsteak. Er. Homestook. HOMESTUCK. Also the year I got a really nice camera to take pictures with. It was really fun because I got some great pics of our God Tier outfits and I’m still p happy with my Dave cape. Special thanks to Jed for making 99% of that hood. I still owe him a fuck ton.

This was also the year that me and Sabby went to a really fun quiz panel with an awesome Mettaton who is still p dang cool. I wasn’t sure if there was another this year? I don’t think I was able to make it to it, and I know that there was just so much work put into it, I was super blown away.

I also brought back Fen one last time, and that was fun. I dabbed for a dude and that made him super happy, then I just fucked around for the rest of the con. Ooh, also there was Naruto running. Late at night because also, sometimes you just gotta be a fucking loser with your friends. We...kind of started a whole thing? And I feel a little bad looking back on it? But it was at least, at first, just me and Hanna that Naruto ran down the empty hallway to Haruka Kanata and that was just. Such a fun time.

We did another photoshoot that year too, got some legit pics for hamsteak cosplays which was awesome. Then I had a lot of fun editing them. I’d say there’s more to say for this con, but...not really. Oh, but we did spend a lot of time in the activity lounge? Which I love the activity lounge ‘cause they have crayons and hang up your drawings on the walls and I did a ‘great’ drawing of Dave and Karkat that someone took home.

2017: So here we are, eight years later. To be honest? I was actually sort of dreading this con. There was so much just...not happening and I was feeling kind of eh...and I should’ve definitely gotten more done on Gabe but I didn’t. So instead I did Boxerwatch which was still fun, and my armor actually held up really fucking well. Which I was mega happy abound.

Saturday was kind of...a time. Like, I wanted to have fun, and I know I looked cool AF? But it was so hot and humid and I was in like, three layers of clothes and craftfoam and I didn’t bring a change of clothes. Which was stupid on my part. But! Jenny lent me her hot dog costume? Which literally made my day and it turned the whole thing from an /eh day to a THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER sort of time. I’m not gonna lie, I love wearing those mascot sort of costumes because the shenanigans you can have while wearing them. It’s just so good.

Sunday was awesome because I got to hang out with Clyde, Sam, Ray, and I met Keyboard who is p dang cool. Also, I met my hello new person quota of one, so, double accomplishment. On top of that? My armor held up ridiculously well that day and so did my shitty painted on beard and I was literally. So fucking comfortable. I know I was missing a fuck ton of things for Gabe but it worked out alright since I went with a mega casual version. I’m definitely gonna make sure I can wear that jacket anywhere I go though because I love it a bunch? And it was mega comfy. Plus I’m thinking of making the shoulder pads something permanent to the jacket so I could have my own Gabriel Reyes jacket to just. Wear and feel cool in. Well, not cool. More like fucking sweltering because also I live in AZ.

Monday was just a casual day. I think I’m coming down with something and I wasn’t gonna kill myself by wearing Hanzo so, I edged it up. I was kind of really bummed because the Eyeshine concert was cancelled and it was sort of the main thing I was looking forward to all weekend? But I think Sabo might have messed it up p badly because on the website they set it for Sunday at night, which would’ve been perfect ‘cause then all three of us could’ve gone. But the schedule moved it to Monday and I was sad ‘cause it was their farewell tour...and I kind of felt like it’d be just...one of the perfect ways to end my time going to Sabo.

And so yeah, that’s kind of it? Like, I definitely did have fun over the years, there was stress AF during some parts, but then there were some really really great times. I’ve sort of...lost a lot of interest in anime since I started going, and while I will admit, I do still enjoy watching it, I’m so choosy about what I like and what I’ll watch that a lot of the main things available at Sabo don’t interest me nearly as much. There’s one more anime cosplay I wanna do, and admittedly it’d be really freaking easy to pull off...just gotta get the stuff. But other than that single cosplay, I just...I would like to focus on different things. Plus, it’s just so hard to get stuff together because of the timing of it all. Working as a teaching assistant means that I have very little time during those weeks leading up to the con to do anything. The week before was kind of hell, as I had to stay on campus until at least 5:30 most days and god, I couldn’t work on really anything. That and I didn’t have the mental capacity to work on Gabe over the summer, plus I’d planned to have Cyberninja!Hanzo at least started but that just couldn’t happen.

But anyway, that’s it really! This turned out a lot longer than I meant for it to be and I’m probably going to cross post this onto my DeviantArt. So thank you Saboten-Con, it’s been one helluva ride. There were some ups, downs, turns, and spins and while some of those times really really sucked...there were many others that were just so great and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.