#im laughing but internally i am crying

[snappysprinkledog]

what is doing biosciences in further education but learning about really cool shit in the natural world only to be told 5 seconds later about how its all dying

[lovesickeros]

can.. can I ask for an affectionate reader with characters who aren’t normally like… used to the love? like, not just through words but physical affection like hand-holding, kisses, hugs, all that shebang. probably with a few people like yelan, ei, basically any character that is either cut-off from society or seems socially distant or isolated. 😞

☆ affectionate reader with yelan, ei, & furina

[ 4.2 Archon Quest spoilers ]

× yelan

Varies between how you display your affection, to be honest. Just like being affectionate with people? She's cool with it as long as you don't pop by while she's working (mostly because she'll end up dragging you into it for a bit of fun). I don't think she's all that touchy feely herself, but she'll absolutely get you gifts instead– like pretty knick nacks? She'll make sure to snag any she thinks you might like. Like a good meal? Sure, she'll take you out to one of the restaurants in the city, doesn't matter how expensive. Her treat. If you do prefer physical gifts rather then being taken out, you'll eventually get used to the random unmarked letters and packages showing up where your staying pretty often. It's obvious to know who it came from even if she never signs anything.

Flirty reader, though? Whole nother can of worms and now it's a challenge. The more confident you are the more interested she is. The other acolytes would absolutely seethe at the idea but she has no hesitation at just straight up flirting back– she's as charismatic as they come and she's got a poker face that's basically impenetrable. She'll probably also make a bet to see who cracks first (she always wins, unsurprisingly). Probably won't get dragged into any of her schemes this way but if you ask politely maybe she'll consider it, anyway.

The smell of freshly brewed tea and the clatter of dice across wood was a common sight at the Yanshang Teahouse– less common was the woman secluded in the far corner, her lips pulled into a grin that flashed fangs and a look that would scare off the most confident of men.

She'd normally try to scope out any new blood that'd made the mistake of stepping into her teahouse and was equally stupid enough to accept a gamble against her just for the thrill of it, but she was far too absorbed in the warm body at her side, one of her die clasped tightly in their hand as she guided them through the motions– they had a knack for it, she had to admit. The thought made her preen, the clatter of the die as it rolled across the table giving her that subtle, familiar rush.

Even if she knew exactly where it'd land.

"Six. Hm, maybe you're just lucky," She muses, plucking the die from the table and holding it up to her eye like a prized jewel, "Or maybe you're not as innocent as you'd have us believe." There's a sharp glint in her eyes at the prospect, but everyone else has the sense to keep their heads down and their words to themselves as she tosses the die herself.

"So why don't we find out and make a bet, just between you and me?"

× ei

Varies between Ei and the Shogun, because you'll probably be seeing either as much as the other. Sometimes you gotta really squint to tell who it is sometimes, but you get used to it. Both are fairly similar, though, in that their first instinct (especially in public) is to tense up like you're about to attack them or something. Difference is Ei eventually relaxes after a solid minute of trying to process your sudden affection and, if no one else is around, she might even reciprocate. Just don't tease her for being a little stiff and awkward about it, she's trying. That's what happens when your only company is a robot and uh. Nothing. For like 500 years. She's trying. Raiden, on the other hand, is just about as awkward as you can imagine. She's polite (blunt) about it because Ei is fond of you and also you are. The Creator. But she's not really built to deal with personal relationships and so she doesn't know how to deal with affection.

..Depending on what you do you may or may not blue screen Ei hard enough that she retreats back to PoE

Ei usually isn't fond of sitting still, unless it's to meditate. At least then she goes in with a purpose, something to achieve– but now, she's just focused on trying not to make a fool of herself. Her muscles are starting to ache from how hard she's tensing, though, in an effort to sit as straight and still as possible as their hands glide through her hair, weaving it into a single braid.

She can just barely hear the subtle lilt of their voice as they hum– and though it is soothing, it is also..very distracting. She can't focus long enough to try and meditate, too lost in the gentle rise and fall of their voice and the care they take to braid her hair. If she'd had a heart, she'd sure it'd be beating so wildly against her ribcage they could hear it.

But then it stops– their hands fall back to their sides and their humming falters. She freezes, too, racking her brain for any slights she must have committed. Instead, she is met with a calm, tender touch on the back of her neck, making her inhale sharply.

"Am I making you uncomfortable, Ei? You're so tense.." She has to grit her teeth to stop herself from bowing so low her head presses against the ground, her hands folded in her lap, clenching instinctively. "..No, Divine One." She answers simply, trying to contain the adoration swelling in her chest.

Yet as much as she tries to relax, to ease their worries, she finds that she cannot.

"Hm." That small murmur, a simple sound that nearly made her jump, was the only warning she got before they scooted closer, wrapping their arms around her stomach and resting their chin on her shoulder with a grin she would liken to Miko's, if she dared to make such a comparison. "Really?"

She swears she must've been feverish at the affection, lightheaded and dazed until she thought she might simply perish at the brush of their hands against her own.

Much to her embarrassment, however, she doesn't realize she's instinctively pulled back into Plane of Euthymia until she sees the familiar dull purples engulf her vision once again.

Though only a small solace, it seemed a little..brighter, this time.

× furina

Varies between pre 4.2 and post 4.2 archon quests to be honest.

Pre 4.2 she comes off as very vain– of course the most Divine would see fit to spoil her with affection! She deserves it, and is obviously their favorite! Just don't look too hard because she's terrible at hiding how flustered she actually is. Absolutely goes home right after and screams into her pillow for at least thirty minutes minimum.

Post 4.2 she's a lot more openly bashful and flustered. She's really not used to affection and even the smallest show of it has her folding immediately. Now that she doesn't need to worry about being found out she's a lot more receptive to affection. Cup her cheeks and compliment her and her knees are buckling. Like. Especially weak for compliments and praise (she deserves it. please spoil her).

She swears she must be hallucinating– she had been having trouble sleeping recently. But..no. The visage of the Creator was as real as the sweat beading on her brow as she stared at them for a long, awkward moment. Should..she let them in? But then they'd see the pathetic state she was in, and the last thing she wanted to do was make a fool of herself in front of them-!

Her choice was quickly made for her, anyway, as she let out an undignified squeak of surprise when they suddenly tugged her forward into their chest, enclosing her in a hug.

Her first reaction was to freeze– her second was becoming absolutely flustered, her cheeks flushing a soft pink and her mouth closing and opening as she tried to find her words.

"I– ah..um." She stumbled over her words instead, floundering like a fish out of water. Yet she felt a distinct sense of emptiness wash over her when they finally pulled back, looking a touch sheepish. "Sorry, sorry– you just looked like you needed a hug."

The silence spoke for itself, her shoulders tensing slightly. But the way the concern and affection bled through their voice made her waver, her hands trembling as she let out a shaky breath that almost sounded like a sigh.

"It's..It's fine! Fine, I'm fine." She repeated, trying desperately to ignored the way her voice cracked and how hot her face felt– though it was more an attempt to affirm herself that she was not thinking about how warm they felt, how much she..actually enjoyed the hug. She wasn't thinking about it all! Absolutely not!

..Maybe a little.

"Just warn me next time, please?"

[international-baccalaureshit]

pov you just wrote your last ever normal non-IB exams

science exam? COMPLETED. 99/100 wahoo

bio final project? TURNED IT THE FUCK IN. not marked yet because my teacher is a silly guy and also i only turned it in today

geography exam? SUBMITTED. 69/70 on multiple choice section, long answer not marked yet but probably 12/12

math exam? FINISHED. 91.88% (why does my math teacher do grades like this why is it to the second decimal place why is she like this)

french exam? COMPLÉTÉ. 94.5% (fun fact my grade is somehow still a 100% after this)

[cassyapper]

can i like give you phsyical cold cash or something

I guess my duty is to continuously do art of wwm/ta now. Anyway wdym this isn’t what happened in the fic

Im sorry Cass for these monstrosities I couldn’t stop laughing making these my humour is broken

(Walk With Me / Try Again fic by @cassthecringe )

[painfulstretch]

idea/fantasy: i’m your overdue trans guy roommate. i share everything with you not knowing about your kink. i’ve started complaining about how sick I am of being pregnant, eventually you give into temptation and offer your help. you use teas and herbs and massages to jumpstart my labor. i comply happily, appreciating the help, and am even excited when i feel the first light contractions, i even have you time them to figure out when i should head to the hospital. i have no idea what i’m in for. 12 hours later im still in our apartment, totally at your mercy. i realized far too late why you’d been so eager to assist, and now i’m stuck on the bathroom floor trying to bring a 12lb baby to crown. i’m shouting and crying hysterically as each push wrenches me open, and there’s still a massive bulge sitting just inside. i’ve long given up on begging, the only help you’ll give is to hold my thighs wide apart so you can enjoy the show.

fuckkk anon, that sounds like the dream. getting the chance to see your huge belly everyday would already be great - i'd always be watching you, seeing how your struggle grows everyday, how you're constantly rubbing circles into your aching back and strained bump, hurting all over even before the contractions first started.

i have to bite my tongue when you say you're sick of being pregnant. i would love to see you like this a little longer, just to see how much more weight you'd be able to carry on your slim hips. but i also can't deny i'm excited for your labor. the desire to see you scream out your baby is far stronger than the wish to see you pregnant. so i help you kickstart your labor, and fuck the sight of you doubling over, moaning and panting in pain, every time a contraction hits, is just exquisite.

you're too busy riding out the waves of pain to notice my grin as i time your contractions and announce how short the pauses become, getting closer and closer to the real deal. i reach over to touch your massive belly every now and then, you lean into my hand not yet realising that it's not the touch of a friend trying to be supportive but more akin to a predator toying with its prey. i can't get enough of feeling your bump contracting harshly, and hearing you moan and grunt.

i keep up the act for so long, i start to internally laugh at your naive nature. only when you say it's time to go to the hospital and i flatly deny it, do you become suspicious. suspicion turns to nervousness when you insist and i still don't comply, and then slowly morphs into panic, the clearer it becomes i'm serious and not just playing a mean joke. you become frantic, your words become pleading. i find i enjoy it massively. you've sunken to your knees, the contractions too strong to stay standing, and you're clutching your distended, rippling belly, tears forming in your eyes. you're begging, you're begging for quite some time. you cry, panicked, when i force my fingers inside you to check your dilation - you're dilating fast.

it takes hours until you give up and surrender to your fate of being my own personal entertainment. by now you're too deep into labor to try and argue anymore anyway. your panting and moaning has turned to screaming and sobbing. transition was definitely one of my favorite things to witness - the most painful part of labor. the way you shrieked and thrashed, big fat tears rolling down your cheeks. it lasted almost two hours, and i was thrilled the entire time, couldn't take my eyes off you for a single moment. i was kind of disappointed when it was over and you calmed down a little to take a breather. i decided you needed a proper birthing place - if you kept doing it here, our fine carpet might get dirty with your fluids. i dragged you to your feet, forcing you to walk to the bathroom despite the unbearable pressure in your pelvis. gravity brought the baby down faster.

and now we're here, on the bathroom floor. we have been for several hours now. the head is truly enormous, that bulge is probably the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. your skin stretched taut, an angry bruised red, and your lips fluttering around the top of the baby's head, trying to open up enough to let it pass. you've been trying for so long and still can barely get it crowning. i'm surprised you even got it all the way to your lips through your narrow hips if i'm honest.

your shouting and crying is music to my ears. your trembling, sweating body and your face scrunched up in agony are what my dreams are made of. i've watched you for twelve hours already, i'll gladly watch you for another twelve, or even more. i don't want it to end. i'll wait until you've got the head to a crown - i want to see how you react to the famous ring of fire, i want to see you writhe and wail as the burning stretch reaches its widest, most agonizing point -, i'll let you have that feeling of success for a few minutes because i'm not a monster, despite what you may think right now, you know? you can feel happy about your accomplishment. and when you've had your share, i'll place my hand on your bulging pussy.

didn’t i say i'd love to see you pregnant a bit longer but prefer seeing you suffer through labor? well, i realised... why choose when i can have both? i'll place my hand on the baby's head and give it a nice gentle shove. oh, the scream you let out as that white hot pain sears through your nether region up into your entire body will be glorious

[dirtybitfic]

Lets get horny

chris x y/n

Contains- talking about sexual topics, smutt, kinks, dom-chris, bondage, blindfolds, choking, slapping, rough, orgasm control, dirty talk, degradation, breeding kink, daddy kink.

y/n pov-

The guys decided to make a r-rated video and see how it goes and naturally they asked me to join them they said it was a "comfort" thing having me there when they talk about such topics.

I obviously said yes so right now we're parked in a spot and getting the camera ready.

i'm sitting in the back with nicks as he's going through the list of questions and topics well be talking about.

i've never been one to share my personal life on social media so i'm a bit stand offish with the video i'm about to be in but id do anything for them so here I am.

okay cameras set but y/n scoot closer to the middle so the camera can see you. matt says and I scoot closer touching legs with nick . I feel bad im so much in his space but it is what it is.

okay everyone ready nick asks and we all say yes.

Okay hey guys today were doing a rated r video since you all seemed to really want one nick says and we all nod along.

as you can see we have y/n here with us matt says looking back at me and I give an awkward smile and nod .

okay nick what's the first topic chris asks as he smiles a devious look on his face as he rubs his hands together.

okay umm first kiss stories well start if off a little chill he says

ill go first . okay I think I was like 15 and I was hanging out at the. park with some friends and I kissed a girl that was there and yeah thats it matt says as he smiles and looks at chris to go next

okay It was like 8th grade and I kissed a girl at our dance win the hallway and yeah that was my first kiss he says and then looks back at us .

I look at nick brows raised

I role my eyes as he smiles

okay fine ill go . I was a freshman in highschool and I went on a movie date with a kid who was literally 5'2 I shiver from the memory but yeah he kissed me

I look at nick waiting for him to answer

umm I think I was 17 and I went on my first date with a guy and he kissed me when he dropped me back off at home and yep thats it ... okay next topic .Ummm loosing our virginity

oh god I sigh as I lean my head back in embarrassment

ill go first I guess . It was senior year for me . it was very awkward chris says

I lost mine junior year also very awkward

I lost mine senior year

I internally scream as I know I have to answer now

I lost mine sophomore year

damn youngest out of all of us chris says smiling back at me and I cut my eyes and mouth "turn around" making him put his hands up in surrender and turn back around chuckling.

okay now well get into the juicy stuff , most embarrassing thing thats happened during sex he says with a laugh .

well there was one time a girl was riding me and I leaned forward at the same time as her and we but heads really hard and she started crying he says laughing

ooh awkward I say laughing a bit too.

there was one time a girl asked me to choke her and I gripped to tight and she choked cause I was pressing on her wind pipe

come on chris everyone knows you squeeze the sides not the middle I say rolling my eyes and smiling

okay ms choking expert he says looking back at me narrowing his eyes.

I shrug my shoulders

since you have so much to say lets hear yours he says tilting his head.

okay fine... there was one time a guy tried to talk dirty to me and I laughed right in his face

poor guy matt says and we all laugh

okay there was one time as guy hadn't uhh cleaned up the area well and I literally left cause I just couldn't do it nick says shaking his head.

I laugh damn nick

yeah yeah anyways next one this ones mostly for y/n cause its how many times has someone made you cum during sex and obviously its easier for guys then girls

I sigh as my face Gets red .

I look down at my hands as I mumble zero

sorry what I didnt hear you

I said zero

wait what ... never matt asks shocked

nope never I say as I get embarrassed

damn thats embarrassing for the guys you've been with chris says laughing .

okay now lets ask how many times have you two made someone cum

matt and Chris look at each other smiling

4 times I think matt answers shrugging

wait all in the same day I ask shocked .

yeah why he asks looking back at me smiling

oh nothing just wish it was that easy for me I say as I look out the window .

he nods his head in understanding as we all look in chris's direction

oh uhm I think 6 he says smirking after .

damn okay then well now we have some questions y/n wanna find a good one he asks and I say sure as I take the phone scrolling through trying to find a good one.

okay this one is bold but what's your kinks I read off as I look up .

I have a couple but ill say two ... chocking and... bondage but not like ropes just like belts and shit matt says turning a little red as he sighs and looks at chris .

ummm ill say a couple of mine , slapping, chocking uhhh breeding and daddy kink he answers confidently before looking back at us .

I try and hide the blush that creeps up o my face. I have a little crush on chris so hearing these things about him have me flustered and a little turned on.

nick you go first I say as I think through all my crazy ass kinks trying to think of the ones that won't be to crazy to admit.

okay uuh chocking, slapping and like dom and sub type thing he answers then looks at me .

hold up let me look through my list real quick .I say as I open my notes app

damn you got a whole list Chris asks a little shocked

yeah why is that a bad thing I ask a little nervous

no just didnt know people keep lists

well ... shit I don't know if I wanna out myself like this I say as I read through my list realizing most of them are a bit out there compared to theirs

nick looks over my shoulder whispering a damn making me smack him

girl you freaky the last one is crazyyy nick says as he chuckles.

now we have too know just read the chill ones matt says as he looks back at me

okay ummm... humiliation, impact play which is like slapping and whips and stuff , umm fuck thats the most chill one

they cant be that crazy chris says with raised brows as he looks back at me

oh don't be too sure about that nicks says and I smack his arm again.

okay fine ill say three more , choking , dom and sub and uhh cnc

wait what's cnc

umm consensual non consensual

hold up matt says as he looks up the definition

oh wow he says as he reads it and hands it to chris too read

oh ... so its like a submission type of thing

yeah I guess so idk I think its more liking the idea of playing out being forced even though its fully consensual

hmm okay I understand it better after you explained it like that

okayyy next one I say getting embarrassed . I look through the questions finding one I know will be juicy .

okay biggest sexual fantasy you have I read off as I look up waiting for one of them to answer

how about you go first this time matt says smiling back at me cocking his head to the side

nah last tike I checked this is you guys channel not mine y'all go first I sass back . I need to get a feel for how crazy there's are so I can narrow mine down to the best one to say out loud.

okay fine whatever i'll go nick says as he talks about his fantasy of someone overstimulation him which is very tame compared to all of mine.

okay mine would be like role playing as like a teacher or student or something like that Matt says as he looks at Chris waiting for him to answer.

okay mine is to have complete control over a girl like tying her up and going for hours until she's crying and begging me to stop chris says as he smirks .

my legs clench and I can feel a pulse start in between my thighs .

I gulp as they all turn to me waiting for me to answer

i... ummm I have a fantasy of being fucked by a guy in a ghost face mask I say as I get red and embarrassed

oh come on you have to have one more freaky than that chris says as he looks at me with a smirk

I mean I do but some of them I don't want to share to 6 million people I bite back making it obvious I don't want to share the other ones.

I know one of hers nicks says smiling and I slap his chest harder than I meant too

shut the fuck uuuup nick I say in a sing song voice showing my annoyance.

nah nick tell us chris says as he narrows his eyes at me like hes challenging me.

I sigh as I cover my face and sink lower in the seat

she has one of being tied down and blindfolded and being over stimulated and also..

I cu them off by slapping my hand over his mouth as he still says it into my hand but its muffled .

okay okay well stop chris says as he laughs and turns back around .

I take my hand off oh nicks mouth and he smiles wide before opening his mouth and the words fall out

being forced to crawl to a guy by a collar and chain he rushes out before scooting further away from me knowing im gonna beat his ass

both matt and chris eyes pop out of their head as they turn to me mouth open and brows raised

I read it in a book okay now turn the fuck around I say as I grab nicks arm and mouth "im gonna kill you"

he just smiles and goes to do the outro to the video.

once we finish we headed back to their house since I was sleeping over .

nick tells me hes gonna be in his room editing for a bit and I know that means he needs space and quiet so I decide to chill on the couch.

as im zoned out on my phone a hand grabs my shoulder making me jump .

I look back and see chris

he smiles at me and I return it

come with me he says as he holds out his hand

what why I say as I get up and take his hand

you'll see he says with a expression I cant place .

I gulp as I follow him to down the stairs and into his room.

he shuts the door and locks it making me even more nervous

so he says as he tilts his head and smirks

soo i question back as I stumble back as he steps closer

what did you think about the video he says as his hand comes up and traces my jaw

I gulp which makes him smile harder

it was fun I guess I-i don't know I stumble back again as he gets even closer .

mmm I know you liked it ... you wanna know why he asks as I smirk grows onto his face and his eyes sparkle with lust.

wh-why I question as my heartbeat accelerates

I saw the way you got red and your thighs clenched when I talked about all the things ive done

mm I hum as he closes the space between us so his front is flush with mine

his hand slides into my hair at the back as he pulls it tight making me look up at him

do I turn you on y/n he asks as he leans in closer our faces so close if I moved forward just an inch our lips would touch.

my face heats up as my knees buckle

I- uh I don't ... I cant even finish my sentence before he interrupts me

I think I do ...I think you want me just as much as I want you he says as he presses a soft kiss right under my ear making me whimper

am I right he whispers into my ear making me gulp.

I- y-yes I whisper . His hands moves to my neck squeezing a bit causing me to whimper .

He smiles as he walks me back until my legs hit the bed and I flop down on the edge .

He stands above me as I look up at him through my lashes.

here's what's gonna happen your gonna be a good girl and strip for me ... and then im gonna tie you up and use you . does that sound good ma

I whimper as I nod my head and start slipping my sweat shirt over my head then my shorts and underwear .

good now lay down he orders and I scoot myself further onto the bed and lay down.

He grabs my wrist as he ties my right arm to another one connected to something behind his bed frame then he switches to the other one doing the same thing.

I tug a bit too see how much movement I have which is little to none.

He moves to my legs and ties them so im spread out for him .

I whine from the way my limbs are tightening from the stretch which only makes him smile and chuckle.

fuck you look so hot tied up for me he groans as his hands roam my naked body until his hands move to my tits and he pinches and pulls my hard nipples making me gasp and arch off the bed. He continues groaning and adding a couple light slaps to my tits as he starts sucking on my neck leaving marks as he goes along.

Im a whimpering mess for him and ive never felt so alive. I never thought that video would lead to this but ive always wanted a man to do this too me and the man being chris makes me ten times wetter.

chris p-please I whine out in a begging tone wanting him to touch me where I need him most . I know I sound pathetic judging by the way he smirks into my neck .

what do you want baby he asks as he looks down at me .

a-anything just please I whimper as I look into his eyes.

he smiles before he moves to be in-between my thighs

fuck so wet for me he groans as he runs his fingers through my wetness making me gasp and buck into him .

his mouth all the sudden latched around my clit and he licks and sucks at the perfect pace that has me whining . He slips one finger into me and pumps it in and out making my legs tense and shake.

F-fuck chris I whine as I try and close my legs but remember they are tied and I physically cant close them.

he adds another finger and starts sucking on my clit sending my body into overdrive with how much pleasure im in.

f-fuck fuck oh-my I cry out as I shaking and gasping for air . Im so close and he can obviously tell by the way my body is trembling .

Come on slut cum all over my face he says before going right back to sucking and licking.

I scream his name as I reach my orgasm and my body goes tense in the restraints army legs shake .

thats it such a good girl he praises as I come down from the high . His fingers are still pumping in and out .

Im trying to catch my breathe as he comes back up and hovers over me placing kisses and bites on my neck and chest . He curls his fingers to perfectly hit the spot that drives me crazy.

C-chris wait I he cuts me off

You're gonna take it. I know you can he says in a deep gravely voice that makes me even more wet.

im whimpering and breathing heavy as I feel pressure build and squelching sounds can be heard signaling i'm going to squirt.

f-fuck oh-my god chris I cry out as I feel my juices spray out of me all over the bed, his hand and my legs.

he pulls out his fingers and grabs my throat as he brings me into a deep needy kiss.

I knew you'd look pretty when you cum and before I even have the chance to comprehend what he just said my legs are untied and i'm flipped over onto my knees and back arched. My arms are uncomfortably crossed over each other pulled tightly by the restraints.

I hear clothes rustling and it only takes a second before the bed behind me dips and I feel his body right behind me.

His hand comes down on my ass making me gasp .

you like that don't you he says in a dark tone with a bit of amusement mixed in.

he slaps harder

I said don't you he waits for me to answer

y-yes I l-like it in stutter out

good girl using your words he whispers in my ear before I feel him rub his tip along my folds making me whimper .

My breathe is taken away as he slides into me so deep that all I can do is cry out .

He stays still for a second stoking my back sweetly before his hand grabs my hair tightly and he starts slamming into me relentlessly.

C-CHRIS OH MY

I scream out as he somehow thrusts more rough than before.

I’m moaning and shaking as he continues slamming into me with such force my wrist burn from the restrains and how they continue tightening with each movement.

Just a good girl taking my dick so deep

He says to me as he lets go of my head and it drops on-top of my arms

Fuck fuck IM GONNA CUM I cry out as my legs start to shake and my arms tense

Not until you beg me for it

He says as he grabs my hips and angles my back so he hits even deeper making me to struggle to get any words out.

p- fuck please can I cum please I whine out holding my orgasm back painfully.

mmm no I think you can do better than that he says as he continues his rough deep thrusts

my legs are shaking and im gasping trying do get the words out

PLEASE FUCK PLEASE DADDY CAN I CUM PLEASE I scream out praying to god he'll finally let me.

fuck yeah you can cum he groans out and I immediately break as I cum harder than I ever have before . I scream out as i'm coming down and legs continue shaking .

such a good girl for me he groans as he slows his pace down giving me a moment to rest.

He pulls out and flips me onto my back as he stares down at me .

god you're beautiful he says as he slides back in .

I blush as I continue looking into his eyes.

he comes down to kiss me and he starts pounding into me again . I try my best to continue the kiss but fail when he lefts my legs onto his shoulders and hits my spot repeatedly .

f-fuck oh my god I moan as his hand comes down to my lower stomach where he's bulging inside me .

yeah you feel how deep I am he groans as he smirks down at my face morphed into full pleasure.

mhm fu-fuck im gonna I cry out but cit myself off as my juices squirt out all over him and the bed below.

fu-fuck he groans in pleasure as he watches me squirm and whimper.

my legs shake on his shoulders as I start to become very overstimulated.

c-chris I c-cant I whine as I try and move my arms to push him away but fail.

come on baby you can give me one more I know you can he says in a deep sweet tone as he strokes my hair.

mmm o-okay I whimper out as he does my legs and lowers his body flush with mine and his arms wrap around and under me lifting my lower half up just a little .

he starts pounding into me rough again and his thrusts get sloppier telling me hes close too.

fuck your gonna be a good girl and cum with me he groans into my ear and I whimper and shake my head in response .

my legs start trembling around his waist and my whole body starts twitching the closer I get to my final orgasm .

All that can be heard is skin slapping and my heavy breathing mixed with his deep groans.

he groans loudly into my ear bringing me even closer to my orgasm.

fuck come on ma cum for me he groans and I do just that .

he thrusts a couple more times before he fills me up and his body drops onto mine as we breathe heavy .

Jesus I say as im still catching my breathe and he comes up and invites my arms and I sigh in relief and I stretch them .

he goes to the bathroom to grab a towel and then cleans me off .

that was... the best sex ive ever had he says smiling down at me

yeah same I say as I laugh a little .

can I tell you something he asks as he looks at me with a slightly worried expression.

yeah of course I say as I sit up and give him my full attention.

ive wanted to that for so long like ... ive liked you for a while I just was to scared to tell you he says as his face gets a bit red from embarrassment .

chris... i've liked you for a while too I just didn't want to scare you away I say as my face gets red and I cant help but smile.

he brings me into a tight hug making me laugh and he laughs too .

you free Saturday he ask and I look at him

yes why

cause we're going on a date he says with a big smile on his face.

we lay down and get comfortable and drift off to sleep.

[sabh0]

What's your opinion on the anime? I find it pretty funny, but I can't say that I am not disappointed to see so many scenes missing.

For exemple, I wanted to see Dazai cry laugh at Chuuya's young mistress act, show that it was a joke shared by both of them, rather than one made to us at the expense of Chuuya. They took a genuinely funny moment and made me cringe SO hard for no reason T^T

God i could go on for hours about how Bones ruined this series. I'm obviously thankful we have an anime adaptation but. Well just compare bsd anime to jjk one or smth and yeah.

I will be complaining more under the cut,,

First the overall writing choices:

-Deleting or changing skk scenes to the point im not even shocked when ppl think these two actually somehow hate each other.

-The way they portrayed Sigma. They deleted half of his personality and backstory. And just speedrunned the Sky Casino arc like if seeing that place was giving them nightmares. No wonder he gets mischaracterized now.

-Tachihara's internal conflict about belonging to either Port Mafia or The Hunting Dogs? Bones never heard about it. It's not like IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT PLOT POINT.

-Akutagawa's whole character in the anime is just 'edgy and angry and bad grr'. In the manga he had some 'kind' or even seelf-reflection moments that were ommited in the anime. Like where he realizes defeating Atsushi didn't satisfy him (ship fight, season 1). Or when he gives files about the orphanage Director to Atsushi and says he won't fight him today because he lost someone impirtant to him. Sskk vs Fukuchi fight?? No scene where Sskk r helping each other walk. Instead we get Akutagwa just pushing Atsushi away. Won't even start on that last smile that looked more like another angry expression.

-THE WAY THEY CHANGED "DAZAI'S ENTRANCE EXAM" INTO SOME CURRENT TIMELINE EPISODES. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY LIKE. THIS NOVEL WAS SO GOOD. Showing both Dazai and Kunikida's characters and partnership so well. But no. Let's just??? Put Atsushi there. Let's delete the fact this thing happened 2 years ago. And let's delete everything that was actually important about it, too.

-also some changes in the Dark Era arc. Like. Lord. Dazai is so much more emotional in the novel. His expressions r described so well. But the anime either shows him from the back at those moments (him finding out Oda was almost killed by a sniper in Ango's room) or just deletes/changes the thing (Oda dying. This scene is so emotional in the novel. From the description u can tell Dazai was crying/on the verge of it as Odasaku died. But in the anime he looks calm and then we get a far aeay frame and he just. Gets up and that's it yeah.) They also deleted the scene of him visiting Oda's grave.

-The way they rushed seasons 4 and 5. Just to give us an episode that goes further than the manga and has the shittiest writing ever when it comes to skk's plan revelation (im so angry about this u guys have no idea. I sincerely believe that if this episode never came out, the manga would go differently bc there's no way that Asagiri who wrote things like Stormbringer suddenly thought that some dollar store vampire make up will fool a guy who's centuries old and literally lived next to vampires. But well!! Seems like these two speeches Dazai gave weren't important at all and now we can just forget about them yippiee)

I could definitely mention WAYY more examples of that but this is already long af. Like guys. I know u cant fit everything in an animated show. It takes time to make it and all but. Bro. The character's in the anime r so shallow compared to their original versions.

.

Now onto the artstyle of the anime.

Lord. U know? It was actually pretty in the first 2 seasons. The official arts at the time were also really nice to look at.

No idea what happened later. Why did Bones suddenly decide that those ugly turtle smiles r gonna become the main thing in the character design. Why so many fisheyes. Atp sometimes i look at the official art and i go oh lord even i could fix it. It really feels like they draw some characters ugly on purpose now (Chuuya being the main victim for unknown reasons).

Tho i must say they have their moments even now. Some last episodes of season 5 weren't really bad, especially the Meursault part (love them for animating Dazai and Sigma dancing so well. And for that 101 animation. And maybe for the heartattack they gave me with 109 and Chuuya shooting Dazai so many times.)

.

On some other things, i really like the music! Bsd openings and endings never miss,,,

[noondefensesquad]

omg you saw it too!! Can you give us a detailed review too pretty please? But if you prefer not to, I totally understand!!

unfortunately my memory sucks and i saw it over a week ago at this point so i'll try my best 😅

i was sitting in row N so closer to the back and there were two people with ipads taking notes on things to change which was cool because im nosy. however, they didn't make a lot of notations and from what i could read, it mostly had to do with lighting so i don't expect much to change when i go see it again in a few weeks.

i love jamie's work and have seen his productions before but was still taken aback by the darkness at the beginning of the play. you can see tom on the screens (i loved the usage of cameras and screens so they could have full use of the theater) as he's backstage and the heavy breathing put me on edge because i was like

then tom sat at the front of the stage and cried and because he is also such a pretty crier and maybe that's my own weird kink i had the biggest smile on my face. however, the girls in front of me were about to cry with him 😂 tell me this didnt do something for you!

but when fran came out, the people around me sat up. she's phenomenal and i want more people to talk about her performance because she's the star of the show. the way she delivers her lines is so funny and they have a great balance of making it feel current while delivering the original iambic penameter.

then as soon as fran and tom came face to face, the audience audibly reacted. not loud enough to be distracting but enough that you know they were into it. i was in love

lots of shakespeare stuff happened, tom took off that sweatshirt and came out in that vest and multiple people gasped. you can see his abs through the shirt 🫠 and when the nurse squeezes his arm and basically says juliet i get it, that line got a huge laugh. my internal monologue was just

this is a married man this is a married man this is a married man

and then intermission came and i talked to the people around me and this was the conversation

fran is so pretty, talented, funny, amazing, we love her

tom's haircut

tom's arms 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

is zendaya the jealous type or would she say yes that's my man (i had to pretend to be very normal about this conversation and said absolutely the jealous type i have no sources 👀)

how do we get to the stagedoor in time to see them (the amount of texts i got about those videos because i am RIGHT THERE with the most in love expression on my face)

the chemistry is unbelievable and we didn't want the show to be over

somehow we made it to the end of the play and i'll be honest, the second half is my least favorite part of the play so it was also my least favorite to watch. i love how silly and romantic the first half can be and the second half is more doom and gloom. i will say, when this exchange happens

"will you speak well of him that killed your cousin?"

"shall I speak ill of him that is my husband?"

my friend and i audibly said "oop" and that got laughs in our section. the best thing about this play was their delivery and when i read r&j, i couldve never imagined how much fun it could be coming from jamie.

anyway, at the end, we rushed out to the stage door and it was insane to see how the street cleared when tom left. and security was the best. really such sweet guys and if you see them being mean to people, they spend the whole time giving instruction is the friendliest way so those people deserved it.

the we got to speak with fran who is the sweetest and signed my customized r&j book with her face on the cover and my programme

can't wait to go see it again in a few weeks. i wish i could have every second imprinted on my brain

[moonystoes]

New girl? - Elisa De Almeida x popular!reader (high school students)

Here is : Part 2

Summary: When Elisa joins your school, it was difficult for you to behave your normal 'sweet' self around her....but why? This explains it lol.

A/n: I've already said this before, but I am new to writing, so constructive criticism is needed!! I already have two parts that need to be finished. Also, I saw a photo of elisa when she was 14 and she literally looked 10?? I can't even joke about this because I have the same issue where people think im 13 lol.

Warning: internalized homophobia!!, cringe...it's 2012 and the characters are 14 yall, no romance yet... its a slowburn series so im sorry. I'm laughing at y/n and yall should too. It's giving Wattpad but it's okay because it's nostalgic (i want to cry). Fleur (elisa's gf but we'll pretend that they're friends here😭🙏) and Marie (katoto) were mentioned... if you didn't know, they were in the same football academy when they were young.

This is a FANfiction, please do NOT view (young) Elisa that way.

wc: 5.504k

Since you joined Jean-Antoine School, you became the person to help out the new students, giving them the tour around. And as a result, teachers and students liked you, even the ones that never had you. At first, you liked the attention, but now it feels like a chore to please the teachers that have high expectations of you.

So right when the first day of school started, you were immediately asked to the office. As you walked to your principal's room, you stood at the closed door to wait for the student inside to finish. Filled with anxiety, you hoped the new student would be nice.

"Oh, no I'm sure she's busy with something, you can ask Fleur or Marie, I know them so it wouldn't be awkward." You heard a desperate voice, assuming it is from the new student. She clearly didn't want to meet someone new, which is understandable for you. But how does she know Fleur and Katoto?

"I understand Ms. De Almeida, but your friends wouldn't show you the school, they would just talk and distract you. Besides, y/n is very lovely and would help you a lot. I heard only great things about her." Mrs. Sommers argued back. You tried to sneak a peek, trying to glance at ‘De almeida’. But the door was closed shut, and there were no windows on the wooden door whatsoever.

Awkwardly standing there, you tapped the ground with your foot waiting for her to come out. When the door was opened, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Is this her brother, is she still in the room? Your eyes quickly glanced inside the office, only to hear a familiar voice.

"Umm... are you y/n?" De Almeida asked, you glanced from the office back to the... person next to you. You smiled kindly and nodded, "this is my schedule, she told me you'll show me around." Her husky voice hit you like a slap. Oh, okay... what the fuck is this.

You glanced at her schedule that is now in your shaky hands, realizing that she's in your grade and shares almost every class with you. You glanced to see her name, Élisa… What a cute name, it must be weird to have such a girly name just for her to look like a guy. You looked back at elisa, smiling shyly, “we share almost every class so I can definitely help you around the whole day if you want.”

Elisa felt at ease when she first saw you. She knew that shocked face, it happens to her everyday. In fact, it happened to her just a week ago with Mrs. Sommers when she joined the school and had to come early for testing. It was always a face of slight confusion when they realized Elisa is a girl and not a boy. Her brother, Alex, had told her that when she grows older it will get easier, but it didn’t seem that way. She didn't feel offended, but what bothers her is when people treat her differently when they realize she's a girl. When she saw you smile at her, her anxiety slowly disappeared. And now she's filled with excitement in reuniting with her friends, and updating them about her trip to Portugal in the summer.

“Thanks for offering, but I'd probably just have my friends do it.” She tried to kindly decline your offer without offending you.

“Yeah, okay!” You turned your body towards the office exit, your curious mind is still confused on how she has friends in the school, but you didn't feel like invading her privacy.

You always went to school 30 minutes earlier than most students, so this allowed Elisa to actually examine the building. She walked on your right, a meter away from you. You'd usually find the distance slightly rude, but now you're slightly glad about it. You felt embarrassed even glancing at Elisa, and you didn't understand why. You assumed it's because of the shame of assuming she's a boy at first glance, it was rude of you to think that way, girls can have short hair too!

“...So how do you have friends here?” You asked, trying to diffuse this tension inside you. Walking around the school cafeteria and pointing at the lunch tables, feeling like it doesn’t need an explanation.

“We play together at a football academy.” She responded, walking quicker than you can, probably from her height. “Do you know Fleur and Marie?”

“Yeah, they’re nice. I knew they loved football but I didn’t know they were at an academy.” You guessed that’s why they would sometimes not go to school together, probably to play in championships. 

After walking around the cafeteria to the small hallways, you stood there and labeled what each hallway is for, “so this one is for math, science, and statistics class. Our Algebra and biology classes will be there. This one is for language, French, Spanish and English classes will be there. This one is the arts hallway, there are only two classes that are used there, the other 3… students use them for other things.” You blushed at the thought of what they do there, you had always avoided that area and hoped Elisa would too. When you glanced at Elisa's face, there was a slight pink hue in her cheeks.

“Couldn’t the school lock them?” She mumbled, voice slightly hitched now from the awkwardness.

“I mean… they were never caught, and snitches get stitches so no one comments about them.” You shrugged, hoping this response would change the topic. You had always felt weird talking about the older students’ behavior in those rooms, but it felt extra weird around Elisa. You rolled her schedule in your hands as your thoughts started spiraling. Would Elisa go there with someone? A guy? No way. You glanced at Elisa's side profile as she was looking at the freshly cleaned boards placed around the hallways for posters. Elisa’s nose is prominent and sharp, her eyebrows naturally furrowing in thoughts. You wondered, if she has short hair and dresses like guys, does she like girls like them? There is no way she would be with a guy.

Your thoughts stopped when you realized she was looking at you, waiting for you to show her somewhere else. Opening your mouth but nothing coming out, you turned and walked to the school’s back exit. Elisa turned and followed you, keeping a safe distance between the both of you. But right when you pulled the door, Amy’s body came crashing into you.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” You screeched in shock, both of your bodies stumbled backwards. Thankfully, Elisa was there to catch the both of you. A small giggle broke out from Amy, standing upright and grabbing her pink folder that fell out of her hands. When she looked up, her eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“New?” She knew about your ‘first day routine’, and since she couldn’t recognize Elisa she assumed she was right. Amy is a popular student in the same grade that all the guys are crazy over. Her body developed before any of the girls. And although you didn’t necessarily feel insecure about your body, you still felt a little sad at the feeling that she will always be the boys’ first choice. Not only is her waist and body flawless, but she also has a bright flirtatious smile, and blonde long hair that touches her ass every time she takes a step.

“Yeah,” Elisa quickly let go of your arm, taking a step away. Panic started rising in your chest, Amy was always a late student, coming to class 10 minutes late with the usual excuse of ‘traffic’. Why did she come early and interrupt me and Elisa? “First time coming early?”

“Yeah I wanted a new version of me this new year. You know… since it’s the first year of high school.” Her eyes roamed around Elisa’s figure. Elisa was speechless, not knowing what else to do. She hoped her friends would’ve been here, because now she feels like she’s interrupting your conversation. But from the slightly uncomfortable glance both of you are giving each other, she knows you probably need her to save you.

“Umm… y/n can we please finish the tour so we don’t end up late for class.” Elisa stepped closer to you, her hand softly tugs on the sleeve of your hoodie. You were internally thanking God that she saved you from Amy, but the unexplainable blush around your face was growing when you saw Elisa’s large hand gripping your sleeve. You quickly glanced back at Amy, mumbling a quick ‘see ya’ and opening the door again to go to the football pitch.

As Elisa walked out, she quickly turned to look at Amy for one last time, not thinking it’s wrong for a quick last scan. She seemed sweet and her voice sounded buttery and smooth. She also was hot, that’s something Elisa wouldn’t hide. When she turned back to see you, she realized that you had caught her looking. In shock, she just walked straight past you on the sidewalk, hoping she’s going the right way.

Elisa knew that many people assumed immediately that she's a lesbian. Admittedly, she can't even argue against it. All she hopes is that people don't treat her differently for it. Now that you caught her looking, she didn't know if she was overreacting for panicking.

You on the other hand was caught off guard, you swore you saw her eyes glance at Amy's ass. Truthfully, you had glanced at Amy’s ass before. Everyone did. But it bothered you that Elisa glanced at it with a smirk on her face, the way the guys did. It's unbelievable how Amy was able to disrupt your tour with Elisa just by a few minutes.

You stride towards her, keeping a safe distance between the both of you. “That's the football pitch as you can see. That's where we have PE classes too. At lunch, you can either eat or play here. Most students usually eat for 15 minutes and then play the rest.” Your voice was quieter than usual. 

Elisa noticed the change in your demeanor, and she can't tell if it's because of Amy or her. She pretended to look around the pitch, but her mind was all over the place. She thought it would be good to know you and create new friends, but now she just wanted Fleur and Marie.

You pointed at the gates at the back of the pitch. There was a long metal fence that surrounded the school, it was made for school safety and so the students don't just leave whenever they feel like it. But there was a small walking trail from it, “the empty area behind the fence is the school's. We only use it for events. I don't know if your friends told you, but there will be a day where our class camps there.”

A giggle broke out from Elisa, followed by her biting her lip to stop. You glanced back to look at her confused, but she quickly looked away from you to the gate, mumbling a “sorry, they told me a funny joke about this.”

Blush bloomed into your cheeks. Of course you know what joke they made, that's what every person says about ‘Camp Out’. You glanced at the clock, realizing that it's 5 minutes before first class. As you were about to tell Elisa that, a screech was heard as well as bags thrown to the ground.

When you turned around to see what happened, you found Elisa being crushed by a hug from Fleur, their giggles loud and chaotic.

“Omg I can't believe you joined the school!” Although you've known Fleur for over 5 years, you've never seen her this happy. Awkwardly glancing between the both of them, you were unsure if you should leave them alone or say hi to Fleur.

“So much happened in Portugal I'll tell you later,” Elisa’s hands stayed on Fleur's waist. But when she turned her head to her right, she saw you slowly stepping away from them. “Oh, that's y/n, she helped me around.”

Elisa wasn't sure why she did this, of course you know Fleur. But seeing you awkwardly looking at them this way made her feel something unexplainable. She quickly removed her hands from Fleur and pointed at you.

“Oh yeah! She does this every year,” She waves at you kindly. She grabs Elisa's hand and starts pulling her towards the side benches. Quickly glancing at you, she says, “thanks for helping. She hates meeting new people so I hope she wasn't being a bitch.”

Elisa's face turned red in embarrassment, whispering ‘shut up’ to Fleur as she dragged her away from you.

Your body was filled in shame, feeling as if you interrupted a moment. The only time you felt that way was when you were talking to Amy and José…And they went to the ‘unused’ classroom afterwards.

Your body was frozen, zoning out as you looked at the both of them on the benches arguing,

“Hot new guy?” a sudden voice creeped up from behind you. Quickly identifying it as Sam, your best friend.

“What? No!” You turned to look at Sam in bafflement. Sam had a small smirk on her face, waiting for your explanation. But when you opened your mouth and nothing came out, she laughed.

“What? You looked like you saw Amy pull the new hot guy that you just had great chemistry with to the ‘ehm ehm’ room.”

“That was weirdly specific…” you accusingly looked at her.

“Eh. I just can read you very well.” You felt annoyed, who does she think she is? No, she's wrong. Elisa is not a hot guy, she's not even a guy in the first place.

“For your knowledge, you're wrong,” You rolled your eyes, walking back to the building for the first class. “It was Fleur.”

“Fleur stole the hot guy from you? Damn I didn't know she flirts.” Sam's jaw dropped to the ground, looking around to try and find Fleur. But her blonde hair blended in with every other blonde girl.

“No! The new student is a girl, and Fleur knows her. That's it. No hot guy, and no drama. Let's just go to class before it's too late.” You frustratingly grabbed her arm and pulled her inside the school building.

Sam had always liked teasing you to get you angry, but she had a feeling today isn't the day to joke with you. So she stayed silent and allowed you to drag her to your first class.

-

“Welcome back everyone!” The biology teacher squealed in excitement. You turned to look at the back of the class, checking if Fleur and Marie are there. Elisa was sitting with them, face twisted in anxiety, already aware of what Ms. Jeena would do.

“Since our school is small, it's rare to get a new student. Please treat Elisa kindly.” She pointed at the back of the class, all of the students turning to look at who is ‘new’. The class turned quiet for a few seconds, some murmurs arose around the ‘boys’ area of the class, and a low gasp from Sam. “Elisa, why don't you stand up and tell us…your age and hobbies.”

You felt bad for Elisa, this would make anyone uncomfortable, especially someone as different as her. Elisa nervously glanced at Marie and stood up, coughing and muttering, “I'm 14. I like football and… watching movies.”

Immediately, she sat down and covered her face with her hands. Fleur awkwardly patted her back to comfort her, holding a laugh at how awkward she was. Ms. Jeena noticed the awkward atmosphere around the class, so she decided to immediately start talking about a poster presentation that should review what the class studied the previous year. Your head was still turned to look at Elisa, her face red and eyes filled with discomfort.

Sam tapped you on the shoulder, making you glance away from the group. She got closer and whispered, “wow at least I'm not the only one who's gonna get hate crimed.”

You rolled your eyes, opening your notebook to write the criteria needed for the poster. Sam is an Indian student, and although there are some people of color in class, Indians were not one of them. So Sam gets a lot of rude comments, whether it's about her ‘skin’ or ‘smell’. Sam doesn't mind it, saying she went through worse in her older school. This allows her to make jokes about the racist encounters without feeling hurt.

“She's odd right?” She continued, glancing at her empty table, clearly not bringing anything since it's the first day of school. “How did she just… befriend them that quick?”

“Sam, stop talking about her!” You whisper-shouted at her, nudging your foot with hers. “They play at the same football academy.” You responded to her question, writing the date and following the teacher's instructions.

“Makes sense.”

“This year, I want to try something different with you guys. Every time I let you guys choose your partners, you always choose the same person.” She walked around the class, looking each of the students in the eyes, “I will choose your partner for this assignment.”

Sighing frustratingly, you closed your eyes and rested your head on your hands. You were on great terms with a lot of the students in your class, yet you didn't have the energy to talk to any of them.

The teacher opened her mouth to say something, but the way the class was booing and groaning forced her to stay quiet for a few seconds. “Okay guys! The names will be on the board right now so please stay quiet.”

You glanced at Sam with a disappointed face, feeling awful at how you both will be separated on the first day already. You waited as the teacher was writing the names, Sam already partnered with some girl at the front. But she still sat next to you, waiting to see who will be your partner.

The teacher had already written 8 pairs, which means that there is only one left, you and Elisa. You were sure Ms. Jeena did this because of your friendliness and wanted you to help her. Sam giggled when she realized, tapping your shoulder and whispering, “I feel bad, she looks like she's about to rage.”

Just as Sam stood up, Elisa dragged herself to your table, slowly pulling the chair and sitting on it. She nodded her head awkwardly towards you in acknowledgement as she fiddled her hands with each other on the table.

The teacher had handed out the A3 posters, saying the poster should explain photosynthesis. Thankfully, it was your favorite unit from last year, so you jotted all the information you remember as quickly as you can in your notebook.

Elisa sat there feeling awkward, looking at you scribbling nonsense in your book. She isn't stupid, but she can't remember anything that's 2 weeks ago, so she just sat there and waited until you told her what to do.

After you wrote what you can remember, you turned to look at Elisa. Her face was slightly pink, a fake smile on her face when she realized you looked away from your notes to glance at her.

“Umm…do you want to draw the cell, or write about it? What do you think you're good at?” You realized you've been rude towards her, she probably wanted to help you. “Sorry for not asking you in the beginning.”

Elisa felt embarrassed, she clearly can't remember anything about photosynthesis. She looked down at the large sheet in front of her, “oh no it's okay, I'll just draw the diagram…but I need a good reference, you know?”

You gave her a smile while avoiding her glance. You raised your hand to speak to the teacher. “Hey, can Elisa and I go to the library to look at pictures of the cell for a more accurate poster?”

The teacher nodded in your direction, trusting you to not do anything stupid. This is one of the perks of being a ‘good student’, they will trust you with anything. You turned to look at Elisa, standing up and grabbing your large colorful pencil case.

Elisa grabbed the poster and followed you. Her eyes glanced at her friends for one last second. When you reached the dark library, you pointed at the computer screens, sitting down on one of the chairs and smiling at Elisa, “I want you to draw a big leaf, and then a microscope zooming in with the thylakoid in it. Does that make sense?” Elisa nodded in understanding, pulling colors from your pencil case to start. “I'll write the information on the side.”

As the both of you worked, silence filled the library. The small Golden light bulbs created a sleepy atmosphere, making your body calm and tired. You finished writing quickly, now resting your head on the table to wait for Elisa to finish her part. You turned your head to glance at her, looking at her features while she was working. From this angle, you realized that she still had feminine features in her face, it's just her hair and flat chest that makes her look ‘manly’. (though you never really cared about anyone's chest… we're all kids and it doesn't matter!)

Your face flushed when you looked up to see her looking at you, your eyes diverting to the paper to see if she's done. Elisa had felt your eyes on her, you were resting your head close to her body and she could clearly see you. Her body was mildly sweaty from the whole chaos that happened in class, and she thought making this poster alone with you would help her calm down.

But when she looked at you, she realized your eyes were glancing at her body… her chest. She didn't know what to make sense of this, were you looking at her to mock her? Or were you checking her out just like how she looks at other women? It's obvious that it's the first question, because no one has ever looked at her with a romantic glance. She has accepted that the day she'll find the one is far, now she’s too young to worry about her depressing love life. 

From the insulting whispers in class, anger bubbled up in her. You'll be just like them, mocking her for doing what she wants. Why would she expect something else? At the end of the day, you're popular. And anyone who's popular is a bitch.

You lifted your head from the table, glancing at the computer screen to avoid looking at her eyes again. She caught you looking at her body, and that's embarrassing. Usually when a girl catches you looking, you joke out a compliment. But when it came to elisa, your tongue got stuck, and all you were able to do is just look away.

“I'm done.” Elisa stood up, her chair screeching loudly making you flinch. Her hand grabbed the poster and walked away, leaving you alone in your seat. You stood up and logged out of the computer, running to catch up with her.

“Thanks for working, I could've helped in coloring.” You whispered. You can tell that the atmosphere turned awkward, her eyebrows furrowed and clearly thinking about something else. 

She didn't want to speak to you. In fact, she didn't want to speak to anyone, even Marie and Fleur. She just wanted to go home and probably watch a match to distract herself from whatever is happening in this school. She can't believe she's already feeling this way and it's the first class, she wondered how shit her other classes would be.

When she reached the class, she gave the poster to the teacher and sat back in her old seat since it was empty anyways. Sam noticed your distracted gaze, waving her hand to gain your attention. The feeling of shame returned to you, there is no way Elisa is angry at you for a glance, we're all girls and it's okay, right?

Maybe something happened, maybe she remembered something that hurt her. Maybe she's not actually annoyed at you and she probably had something else that bothered her. Or maybe you’re overreacting and she probably was acting normal.

The rest of the day went smoothly, the teacher allowed the students to talk to their friends since it's your first day. Sam had asked you about what happened with Elisa in the library. Your response was simple, “she was tired and annoyed at how the boys were talking about her. She didn't even glance at me.”

Sam nodded, feeling bad for Elisa. For the rest of the day, Elisa just slept in class. Suddenly, her trip to Portugal didn't matter, she felt emotionally exhausted and drained. Fleur and Marie felt guilty, knowing that a part of Élisa's sadness is from them. They're the ones who begged her to join their school.

Now the day is over and you're walking home. Sam goes with her dad, her house is too far for her to just walk. As you put your headphones on, you noticed Elisa walking the same way as you. Her strides were larger, obviously trying to escape school as fast as possible. Now that you know Elisa lives close to you, it makes everything worse.

-

It's Wednesday, the day your class has PE. The school has given you a uniform and a locker room to change. There is a habit that all girls change in the same area, since the room only has lockers and no private cubicles to change. But ever since you were a kid, you always took your clothes and changed in the bathrooms privately, because looking at naked women around you made you feel uncomfortable, and you always valued your ‘modesty’.

So you went to the lockers to grab your PE uniform and stepped in the girls’ bathroom. When you got in, you saw Elisa already dressed in her uniform, her hands playing around with her silky hair in front of the mirror. When she looked at your reflection in the mirror, she rolled her eyes, grabbed her things, and left you with no words. You looked at your blue uniform in your hands and sighed, feeling like your day has just been ruined.

After long minutes of changing, you went back to the locker room to place your clothes back in your locker. You noticed Amy lifting her hair in a high ponytail, light makeup on her face. She caught you looking and stepped closer to you, signaling with her hand for you to come closer to her. When you did, she whispered, “did you see Elisa in the bathrooms?”

You frowned in confusion, “yeah, why?”

She bit her lip and looked around, “people are saying she’s a lesbian…that’s why she was too scared to dress with us.”

When she saw the confused look never left your face, she gave you a disappointed glance. “Wait… what is a ‘lesbian’?”

She mockingly laughed, “are you serious?” When she realized you weren’t joking, she covered her face and sighed. “It means when a girl only likes girls…like guys.”

Realization hits you. Is she? There is a name for it? You had felt weird with Elisa, and you had suspected that she likes girls the way boys do. But you never knew there was a name for it, and that could possibly mean there is a whole community that way.

“Why? I dress alone in the bathroom, that doesn’t make me a lesbian.”

“y/n be serious! You’re… you. And Elisa… you know, she dresses differently. I am not disgusted by her, I’m just telling you what I think about her.”

You didn’t know what else to say, so you awkwardly nodded and walked distractingly. 

Throughout the whole PE class, Elisa dominated the girls. While Paul dominated the guys. You were impressed at her speed, humbling everyone although Katoto was very close. The trio (Elisa, Katoto, and Fleur) were distanced from the rest of the girls, only joining when the coach tells them to.

After the session, you took your clothes and went immediately to the bathrooms to change back. You can hear her shuffling in the cubicle next to you, and the idea of Elisa being naked right next to you somehow made you panic.

Elisa knew she had to get used to naked women, especially if she wanted to become a professional football player. Her academy teammates lightly tease her. But thankfully, they are very open about her being gay. In fact, there were around 2 girls that had come out in her team. She complained to Fleur and Katoto about what happened in the library. Katoto called Elisa ‘dramatic’ and that you were probably just zoning out and thinking about something else, while Fleur laughed and told her that you never meant to harm her. But when she saw you in the bathroom, she got annoyed. Because why are you following her? Is this your way of teasing her?

Since PE is the last class of the day, the walk home was sweaty and exhausting. What Amy told you still ran through your head. You never thought about Elisa’s love life, except when you caught her staring at Amy ‘weird’ on the first day. But now that you think about it, there is no way Elisa ‘likes’ men, you can’t even imagine her flirting with one. But the idea of her flirting with women seemed possible, and even when it gave you a weird feeling, it seemed more sense that way.

When you went home, you locked your room and turned on your laptop, searching on Google a simple question, "qu'est-ce qu'une lesbienne?” (what is a lesbian?)

Your whole screen was filled with articles, pressing the first one, an article from Quora.

What is a lesbian? Hey guys, I have a simple question. A co-worker of mine told us today that she was a lesbian and even when i knew what it was briefly i still felt uneducated and embarrassed. Can someone please tell me what it is so I don’t hurt her tomorrow at work?

You’re overthinking it. A lesbian is just a woman attracted to other women. They don’t feel anything for men. That’s it. If you don’t want to ‘hurt’ her or ‘disrespect’ her, just don’t treat her differently and please don’t ask her about guys or even girls unless she opens up to it. It also gets annoying when girls think we are in love with them just because we like women. Thanks for trying to be respectful tho.

You stared at your screen for a minute, until you decided to ask a question. Thankfully, your Quora username is not your real name, you replied to the answer, 

‘Hey, a new classmate from my school joined and many people think she is a lesbian because she has short hair and always dresses like a tomboy. Is there a ‘signature’ look of lesbians or they can look like anything?’

You slapped your mouth, not believing you just posted this. You tried to distract yourself by doing your homework, until a small ding came from your laptop. You froze and stared at your screen for a second, before hopping and looking at the response.

‘LOL! You sound like a child so I hope you are a kid, it’s rude to assume anyone’s sexuality. And no, there is no ‘signature’ gay look. Yes, a lot of us prefer to dress tomboy. But there are a lot of feminine girls that also like women.’

You liked the response and closed the tab, you stared at the screen, a single question running through your mind. You quickly opened a new tab, typing ‘Is same-sex marriage allowed?’

No, Same-sex marriage is illegal in France.

You exhaled in disappointment, closing the computer screen and opting to take a nap instead of thinking about this. But what did Amy mean by ‘You’re you’?... Do they also think that way about me? No way, I dress like a girl. But the Quora response caught you off guard, can someone like both women and men? You twisted in bed and sighed in frustration. You can see the black square screen of your PC. You groaned and stood up again, ‘can someone like both sexes?’

Someone who likes both sexes is referred to as Bisexuals.

You closed the tab and went back to bed. You weren’t sure why you even searched that question, but you blamed it on curiosity. You are straight, you knew this because you never ‘romantically’ liked a girl, and now that Elisa is rumored to like women, you wanted to know more about Elisa, not you… you already know who you are, even when you didn’t understand what Amy meant by that comment.

-

~ same-sex marriage became legal on the 17th of May 2013, while this is based on September 2012.

~ in France, students in their first year of high school are supposed to be 15-16. I changed their age because I wanted this to happen before same-sex marriage was legalized.

[kerubimcrepin]

Wakfu Manga - Tome 1, Part 1

Finally, finally, finally we have arrived to one of my most favorite Wakfu media — the manga that happens between Season 2 and the OVAs, which are controversial among many, and beloved only by me and only for, like, 2-3 scenes.

The reason for my excitement is simple: this is the Krosmoz media that is the most abundant in adult Joris content at this moment.

The princesses got cursed again..., I don't even know what to say, man. They never learn.

[imagines Joris at 3-4yo trying to bite the nearest animal that isn't Pupuce the second Kerubim takes his eyes off him] [smiles]

I'm insane.

He is late. A likely thing for Joris Jurgen to be.

He came here. He saw a baby. He was like "aww. cute baby."

His nails.... This panel is the singular reason why I draw him with painted nails a lot, just so you know. Anyway.

Nobody expected him to come. And it makes no sense that he came, because he kind of barely knows these people. He is so fond of Yugo it's crazy.

He looks a bit taken aback by the fact he was seen being cute with a baby + that someone noticed that he is there (atypical) and happy that he came.

I think Joris has a very parasocial friendship with Yugo where he says nothing and just fucking stands there silently and menacingly, but is insanely fond of Yugo internally (I think he Projects onto Yugo. Yugo is just like him fr).

The casual way he just stands as Grougal sets him on fire. The way Yugo stares in horror. The way Joris just stands there, on fire, afterwards. I am going to cry from laughing.

Also, Amalia cares about him... I'm insane.

Adamai saying this combination of words to, out of all the people in the world that he could have said this to, Joris Crepin-Jurgen. Because he's scared that Grougal could have offended him...

Once again, this entire scene is so funny I'm actually going to fucking die.

He's so sweet... He really is like an awkward uncle who has no idea how to interact with kids when he visits them once in a while, but is happy to see them nevertheless.

Also, once again, his asocial nature and avoidance of close social bonds is called out. He's insane about Yugo and Adamai. They're just like him fr, y'know? (I bet he seldom visited Amalia's birthdays, and never came to Eva's... I'm insane about this man.)

Also, a small note: pay attention to the bag he is looking through. Here's why:

The fact that he kept an entire fishing pole in that bag makes me believe that Joris owns a haven bag.

Yes, literally nobody except for me cares about details like this, but let me have this.,

Also, I wish we could see his face as he gives this to Yugo. He's probably feeling shy about this. This is probably taking physical effort.

I blame this manga for making me care about the friendship between Khan and Joris even a little. fgsgsdfgsdfgsdfg

Clown-to-clown communication, clown-to-clown conversation.

As cute as it could have been, I really doubt Joris contributed to this gift.

It seems that nobody who was involved in the planning of the party was sure he would come, and when he did, he gave a singular gift to Yugo seperately from other people.

Joris went together with Alibert to get people to safety. Cute. Also the amount of hope and trust he has in Jiva is also cute.

Bontarian war criminal solidarity?

Awooga hummina hummina hummina weewoooweeewooo.

He's so cute.... Also, "Joris runs up towers" counter is up at 3. Yes, I count this as a tower.

[you can see my commentary actively degenerating due to my insanity] He is so handsome and so cute...

IM INSANE. IM CRAZEEEH. INSANE. ASYLUM.

Here are two panels that have the prettiest man in the world in them. The cute little fist clench...

[geronimomo-spd]

15 to me is a doctor that finally got diagnosed and is awear of his emotinal turmoil, and decided to instead of letting his meltdowns be internal and come out as anger, to instead attempt to let them out and cry, but to try to stop himself from actually hurting himself and or others (ie crying and stopping himself after punching that door).

also he uses his pattern recognition element like crazy, he figures out that he is in the same boat as he usually was with certin killers who fancied him before, takes one look at who Rogue is and what he represents, and immidiatly trys tyo act like he always did and it works

but also its more then the letting his meltdowns actually be meltdoans again with crying and such, its about having less control over hiding his emotions at all, laughing at the kid's disstress at space babies, laughing at Ruby with the boogers, he always has a second where he just reacts emotinly before he takes control and starts masking. and his crying!!! 15 crys like he doesn't even notice the tears are there until his voice starts cracking, its like his emotions are happening to him and he has to figure out a way to understand and mask them then he feels emotions, and i love it.

"ok! i understand i am concidered autistic by human standers (and probably by time lords standers too actually) and im completely fine now thank you goodbye!! [runs away before he learns any affective coping mechanisms]

[usmsgutterson]

Hi! I’m back :] im here to request a platonic!crows x reader kind just want some hurt/comfort I’m feeling pretty bad atm and just don’t do well w asking for comfort?? So could I request a reader who’s just having a bad time,nothing super specific just like feeling Sad more than usual and like being a bit more distant/distracted? If your not up for writing this that’s perfectly fine too :] Have a nice day! -🍒Anon

Come Home- Platonic! crows x reader

Hi! This one is hitting really fuckin close to home right now but selfishly, I could use a good cry and I'm in the same boat as you, so we're all good!

I'm sorry you've not been feeling too great lately and I am sending you hugs and a mug of your preferred hot drink of choice! I also hope you feel better and am sending good vibes your way :)

Fic type- this is hurt/comfort but pretty heavy on the comforting!

Warnings- mentions and depictions of general sadness, mention of lack of sleep/trouble sleeping both generally and due to sadness, mentions of being unable to reach out to people in search of comfort or a place to vent, mentions of being distant (emotionally) and also isolating oneself, a 'there but not there' kind of sadness, mentions of retreating into your own thoughts/mind

The crows couldn't quite say who'd noticed it first amongst them. Nina was pretty sure they'd all noticed it around the same time, could remember the fact that it was a date in the middle of the Spring.

You'd spent a lot of time in your room in the Slat, not really talking to anyone, seemingly both content and somehow discontent in the idea of burrowing into your own thoughts, retreating into your own mind.

When you were with the others, you were distant. It was like you were there but not there all the same, responding to conversations and laughing occasionally, but Nina could see it.

She knew what it looked like to be wrapped up in ones own thoughts, and recognizing it within you was like seeing water in the middle of the ocean; it was about as obvious as the day was long.

Wylan and Jesper and Matthias picked up on that, too, then Inej and Kaz. They'd all picked up on it the same day, and were sitting at a U-shaped booth in the Crow Club to discuss it in the days after they'd noticed.

"They're not the type to ask for help," Matthias noted. "I think they'd rather struggle in silence most days then reach out and vent to someone."

"They don't directly ask to be comforted or seek out things that people would typically find comforting," Inej noted. "I don't think I've ever seen them hug someone or be hugged themselves. They handle their emotions internally, it seems."

"How do we comfort someone who does not want to be comforted?" Matthias asked. "How on earth are we meant to be subtle about it?"

"The rest of us can worry about that," Jesper said. "Matthias, Kaz, don't you worry a hair on your pretty little heads."

"Hugs and arms around shoulders aren't always how it's done," Kaz said. "There are a thousand other ways, Jesper. Comfort doesn't just have to be about physically touching someone."

"Nice gestures," Nina suggested. "I didn't think you had a nice bone in your body. I'm pleased to be wrong in that."

"Pleased to have been underestimated," Kaz said. "Matthias, you're not touch averse. We are not one and the same, so you'll just have to figure it out on your own."

Matthias scoffed, and Kaz spoke the word before he got the chance to whisper it.

"Demjin," Kaz said, taking delight in Matthias' scowl.

"All right," Wylan said. "Our plan is figured out. Find ways to subtly comfort the one of us who needs comforting and just hope they don't notice? How long do we keep that up?"

"Until they notice or they feel better," Nina said. "It's--it's whichever comes first. Stop asking questions. We'll work out the rest of the details as we go along."

Everyone nodded. Whatever qualms anyone else had about the plan went unsaid, and the world around the six of them settled with the knowledge that they were going to help you feel better, even if you never caught on.

If you never noticed, if you thought your mood was brightening naturally, if you never figured it out and never said the profuse thanks that Nina knew you would've, that would've been fine. It would've been great because you were fine again, and in the end, that was all any of them wanted.

-

"Brought you a coffee," Jesper said, passing you the to-go mug as he found you in the Slat. "Kaz and I were in the Harbor. Kaz needed a dose of caffeine and I figured you'd probably done without."

"It's seven and a half bells in the morning. You were on the Harbor to scout before we left, and Kaz found the time for a pit stop?"

"I did things more efficiently then he'd expected," Jesper said with a charming grin. "Had twenty kruge. Grabbed Wylan a tea, gave it to him by the Crow Club. We leave for Ravka in a quarter of an hour, and it'll take us that time to get from here to Inejs berth. Your things are on her boat?"

"Matthias helped me take my things to the boat after Nina had the gall to wake me at five bells and then bribe me with waffles. I felt like a bunny with a carrot being dangled over its head."

Jesper noticed, though, that you were smiling.

"Thank you for the coffee," you said. "Saints, was the sleepy time tea a mistake. Do you know if Kaz has any jurda on him?"

"You've been having trouble sleeping?" Jesper asked. "I mean--he's finnicky with his coffee and the grounds he imports are delayed by two weeks, so he does. He's been keeping an eye on the shipments because the idiot would rather chew his way through a mile and a half of jurda before he listened to his bodys calling for sleep."

"As for the trouble sleeping--yes. It's been a rough few weeks and my sleeping has been impacted a bit. Didn't get much before, but now it's worse. Sleepy time tea has made me sluggish even though I've been awake for two and a half hours now. The box did say that was a risk, though," you said. "As for the jurda, I'm in desperate need."

"Lucky for you, I miscalculated the amount coming in our last shipment. I've been selling it at the Crow Club to keep the pigeons at the tables longer but we've still got a surplus," Kaz said, passing you a small black velvet pouch with jurda inside.

"How long on the boat?" Jesper asked.

"A week and a half, but the boat we've got is slower then the Ferolind, so it might take as long as it took to get to Fjerda."

"Good thing I thought to get books for the trip then," you said, smile prickling the edges of your lips when you noticed Jespers expression of terror. "Wylans bringing his flute, Jes. You'll be fine."

You took a sip of your coffee as Jesper gave a shake of his head.

"You say that I'll be fine, but you'll see. At the end of our first week, I'll be begging Wylan to play something slow so that I'll fall asleep and you can toss me overboard and have me drown in peace."

"You'll manage," Kaz cut in. "You managed the first time around, didn't you?"

"Just barely," Jesper said exasperatedly. The three of you left the Slat, Wylan joining you as he walked out of the Crow Club.

You took another sip of your coffee, sighed as the contentment you'd missed creeped back in just a bit. Things had been terrible for weeks, a general feeling of sadness having wormed its way into your heart and left you feeling like a shell of the person you were. That was the first decent--albeit early--morning you'd had in what felt like forever.

-

Nina and Matthias were sitting on one end of the ship, you and Inej sat together on the other, in the elevated area that was reserved for the captain to keep watch of the boat and manage the wheel.

The only sound to disturb you was the waves, and it didn't disturb you at all as you leaned back in your chair and continued on with your fifth book in a week. It was a book you'd not particularly enjoyed, and a last minute grab. It was a book of sonnets that you'd grabbed on the off chance you'd be in a sonnet-y mood, and thus far, it seemed you were not.

Wylan had begun to play the flute from somewhere near the center of the ship, and as you heard it, you smiled. You looked away from your book for a moment, glancing at Wylan as you closed it, having given up.

Nina couldn't blame you for that as she noticed it, though. It grew boring to read sonnets about the love someone felt for one singular person after you'd read two of them. She had not a single clue as to how you'd managed to read fifty.

You settled simply to observe the world around you instead of reading, thumb idly tapping along to the beat of Wylans tune against the surface of the hardcover book you had in your lap.

She looked at your eyes. She knew what it looked like when a person was distant and she knew what it looked like when, albeit slowly, that person was coming back to the rest of the world.

Come on back, Y/N, she thought. We've missed you. Come back to us.

She caught your grin, caught Jesper rushing up the steps to the captains watching port. She saw him reach for your hand and grab Inejs as well. Wylan started playing a dancing song and everyone on the ship was all smiles.

Even the crew was looking giddy, though their expressions only brightened when Inej signaled for them to take a break for a dance or two.

Hell, even Nina was smiling, having only realized it when she looked at Matthias and saw he was grinning as he squeezed her hand and pulled her up, their laughter coming up naturally as they rushed toward you and Inej and Jesper.

Someone--probably Specht, as he'd unearthed a talent for it in the weeks before--was playing a violin to go along with Wylans flute. You were beaming, and Nina was beaming, and Inej and Matthias and Jesper were all smiles.

Nina caught your gaze. Just a bit more, Y/N, she thought. Come home.

You were laughing as you turned and caught sight of it, Kaz standing to Wylans left, face only slightly turned to the waves so that nobody would see his grin.

You met Ninas gaze, wiped away a tear as she gave a joyous holler.

"Yes!" she shouted. "Yes!"

"Why are you acting like someone has thrown millions of kruge on the deck?" Jesper asked.

They're home, Nina thought. The distant look in their eyes is gone. Maybe not forever, maybe just for now, but it's good enough for me.

"I'm just so happy," she said. "Oh, I love moments like these. I love them with my whole heart. They remind me of home, of dancing with classmates by the tea samovars the minute we heard music."

Inej was hugging you as tightly as she could. "Better?" she asked. "Jesper mentioned it's been a rough time."

"Better than I was, yeah," you said. Inej pulled away and the music dulled, the moment becoming somber.

Wylan joined up, as did Kaz, and you were faced by the six people you loved the most in the entirety of the world. All of them had been trying to comfort you in the two weeks before you'd boarded the boat and in the week since you had. They'd been trying to go for subtility, but you'd noticed, and you appreciated it relentlessly.

"Thank you guys," you said. "For all of it."

"You noticed?" Matthias asked.

"You laughed at my jokes, Matthias. Nina, you offered me your toffees several times. You've never done that before. Kaz has brought me books and given me jurda and let me refuse on jobs wherein I was necessary. He's said that he would find someone else if I couldn't do it and he's said it in a way that wasn't malicious. He's told me a number of times that he understands what it is to be in pain, though he admits his is a different kind. He's given me several passes when the pain was most unbearable," you said.

"Inej has let me exist in the silence and not say a damn thing, she's swayed with me to the music we hear while wandering about in the mostly empty bodegas and boutiques. Wylan has willingly played the flute and the pianoforte around even people he does not feel secure because it might just have made me smile, he's tried to get me laugh so many times in the past month that I have entirely lost count."

"Jesper, you brought me coffee and leant me your Ketterdam uni jumper. You joke more than Wylan does, and your reassurances were near constant. I know you probably didn't want me to notice, but I did. Thank you."

Everyone--excluding Kaz, of course--pulled you into a hug. Nina was more relieved then not that you'd noticed, relieved that you were feeling better than you had three weeks before. She was happy you were okay, happy that you were smiling and that you were going to be okay eventually, even if it took time to get there.

Everyone pulled away eventually, and you gave Kaz a nod. You received a nod in return and knew that it was enough.

Being with your friends on a boat on the way to a job was enough, certainly.

[harrowharkwife]

for the character meme: dulcie or cam or pal or a character of ur choosing!!! hehe

!!!!! ty lem!! im gonna do my girl dulcie...

favorite thing about them: honestly just the way she's written- it never fails to make me emotional that she *is* explicitly written as being brave and strong, but tamsyn neatly sidesteps the "inspiration porn" ableist stereotype of writing a character as being brave/strong *because* they are sick. dulcie isn't brave or strong because of her illness. her strength and bravery are explicitly positioned, IMO, as being in response to surviving *ableism* and other people's condescension towards her and mistreatment of her, rather than surviving her illness itself, if that makes sense. her health is just a fact of her life, it's not moralized. which i really, really appreciate. it's a small shift, but it's very meaningful to me.

ALSO deeply special to me: her intentional and careful commitment to boundaries re: The Palamedes Of It All. a refreshing change of pace, as far as these books go vgjtjxdjt

least favorite thing about them: i mean. houser. :/

favorite line: three way tie between "truly, wonderful news for my haters," "i am sick of roses and horny for revenge," and "oops, there i go again, never doing what i'm told"

brOTP: gideon!!!!! i think it's a crying shame they've never met. i think they'd get along tremendously. the whole cytherea gideon thing was Horrid and Awful in so many ways, but it always Extra stings (in an adding-insult-to-injury sort of way) when i think about what it would have been like if gideon had REALLY met dulcinea, and not cyth. dulcie would've been a great friend for her, i think. they'd have been so good at making each other laugh

OTP: honestly these days it's cam? @ palamedes ily but get outta here gayboy it's yuri time now. plus i just love chewing on the concept of cam + comphet, and cam + subconscious internalized misogyny, and cam + gender, and cam + her relationships and interactions with other women. i think there's lots to explore there. camdulcie has a certain "when i was eight i didn't realize i had a crush on the new girl in my grade so i just wrote her a note that said 'get out of my school'" energy about it, To Me

nOTP: idk if i really have one for her, specifically? idk. ianthe or something, fuck it.

random headcanon: stoner. on all levels except physical she is taking fuckall huge bong rips. on the physical level though her lungs suck so i think she'd be a tincture girlie. she's got chronic pain she deserves it. am i projecting? you tell me

unpopular opinion: idk if this is an unpopular opinion exactly, but i always see people referring to thee rejected proposal as being something born primarily out of love/out of romantic intent? and i don't know if that's necessarily how i see it. it was CERTAINLY, and obviously, a factor. but at least from my interpretation of pal's monologue to cytherea at the end there, i get the sense that he had already accepted her boundaries in that regard, because he says he "understood that he was a child." and we also get camilla saying that his motivations in proposing were primarily a means-to-an-end way of getting her off the seventh and letting her die with dignity. iirc her exact words were like "so she could spend what time she had left with people who cared about her." like, don't get me wrong, i think pal is lying to himself if he says that being in love with dulcie wasn't PART of the motivation there. but i find it a lot more interesting in a worldbuilding and social commentary way to interpret the circumstances there as him offering, essentially, to be a hospice doctor at age 19, and marriage being the 'easiest' way to get her off the seventh/planet medical malpractice. there's an imperial misogyny ownership-through-marriage throughline there that's nauseating, as well as the implications re: disability and agency and autonomy, and i think that's all very interesting to explore. i think this view is supported in part by the paldulcie interaction in TUG, where she alludes to the idea that she was cognizant about the impact that bearing witness to death and loss up-close and personal like that changes a person, and that she didn't want to do that to pal and cam, especially given their age. i think it informa dulcie's character and grants her additional narrative agency to look at things from that angle, of her "no" being in reference to *both* the age gap AND her intentional choice to continue suffering on the seventh, rather than put two kids through being hospice caregivers and/or widowers at nineteen– no matter how many times and how sincerely they kept offering, no matter that she would've absolutely had a more peaceful and comfortable end-of-life HAD she accepted his proposal and gone to the sixth to die. i think it says a lot about her as a person, that choice. there's a quiet and meaningful responsibility to her as a person that i find fascinating. and her character is just sooooo firmly rooted in and informed by disability politics, on every level, and i feel like people don't engage with that aspect of her characterization enough!

song i associate with them: ooooh SO many, i have a whole playlist. but i think the biggest ones are

-the drama by kesha ("friday night, get too high, keep checking my pulse, am i dead yet?" / "in the next life i wanna come back, as a housecat as a housecat! i'd sleep and play in the sun, i'd be a fuckin' cute son of a gun!")

-avant gardener by courtney barnett (the whole song really, but especially the lines "the paramedic thinks i'm clever cause i play guitar, i think she's clever cause she stops people dyin'," and "i take a hit off an asthma puffer, i do it wrong, i was never good at smokin' bongs." i just think she'd love this song.)

-honorable mentions include stoned at the nail salon by lorde, life according to raechel by madison cunningham, rose-colored boy by paramore (@ palamedes, lmfao), picture me better by weyes blood, extraordinary machine by fiona apple, rubberband girl by kate bush, last words of a shooting star by mitski.

favorite picture of them: oh man well it obviously has to be my icon... art made for me by the lovely @franzias-cave !!!! based on the concept of "the woman is dying, please do her the decency of allowing her to look the part in fanart." my girl... she's a malign fairy, she's a hot-eyed wraith <3

ty lem this was so fun! i love my gworl :')

[urobsessivegirlfriend]

Corrupting a religious sheltered girl is such a dream come true.

Getting her to be obsessed with you, Constantly flirting with her and teasing her in a light degrading way. Making her have internal conflict with her feelings for not only having dirty thoughts about you but having romantic feelings for another girl even though it’s “wrong”.

I’ll lure her deeper into me, taking her to the next town over for a fun light hearted date. Letting her cling to me and spoiling her telling her “this is how a boyfriend should treat you, you know?. This could be your practice for when you actually get one.” But I know I’m a jealous bitch that has no intentions in letting my cute sheltered puppy out of my sights.

After our lil “practice date” I’ll park the car in a dark secluded area so that we can listen to music and chat.

I’ll pull out a blunt asking her if she’s ever tried smoking before.

She looks a bit scared while shaking her head. I’ll make sure to reassure her that it’s okay that I won’t force her to do anything. However, she wants to impress me and asks me to show her how to. Cute.

I’ll tell her “there’s a first time for everything.” Clearly Insinuating something deeper.

I’ll teach her how to light it and instruct her to only take a small drag but the cute idiot takes a bigger hit and ends up choking and becoming extremely high with just one hit.

“One hit wonder.” I’ll tease.

As it goes on we’ll sit in the back seat

“the music sounds better back here doesn’t it ?”. She’s too high and limp to really reply, she’s too busy clinging onto my arm with her legs on my lap. She’ll keep repeating how nice I am and how much she likes being around me, how pretty my hair is.

Well get on the topic of how she’s never done anything with anyone not a simple kiss or even hand holding, poor girl.

“I can teach you that too you know.”

“Teach me what?.”

“How to kiss.”

She’ll look hesitant. The thc getting to her better judgement as she looks between my eyes and my lips. She agrees with a cute red face. I’ll take it slow at first giving her small gentle pecks. Then I’ll pull away telling her to open her mouth a bit and just like the good girl she is, she obeys.

I’ll deepen the kiss, swallowing up her cute needy voice. She’s clumsy and inexperienced but that’s okay I think it’s adorable. I’ll stroke her legs slowly creeping my hand up between her thighs, teasing her and slightly pushing them apart. Shes too high and occupied with our deep kisses to notice how Im corrupting her.

I’ll touch her soaked underwear pulling away from our kiss to laugh at her.

“What’s this ?.” I’ll tease.

She’ll cry from embarrassment, whimpering apologies and saying that this is wrong that she wants to go home. I’ll comfort her telling her that it’s natural and that it’s okay that I won’t tell anyone about this.

She calms down and I keep my hand on her panties, gently rubbing her wet clothed pussy. Teasing her that the little noises she’s trying to hold in, are cute and that she should let me hear them.

I’ll push her skirt up just so I can get a better view of my sweet girl’s cute underwear, pushing them to the side and gently touching her pussy, feeling the heat and the wetness on my cold fingers. I’ll smile at her tears of embarrassment and give her a sweet kiss as I rub her needy clit.

I can tell by the way she’s gripping onto my arm and her red face that she’s feeling a little too good. Especially when I stop rubbing her clit for a second and she gives me a confused pleading look, obviously upset that I stopped.

“It’s okay puppy I’m not stopping.” I’ll slip a finger into her tight hole, loving the way she gasps and whimpers as a second finger slips in. I’ll be gentle at first. Praising her, kissing her, shushing her sweetly when she starts babbling like an idiot.

My thrusts start getting rougher as she nears and I’ll grip her hair when she gets too loud telling me it’s too much.

“Take it like a good girl.” I’ll tell her.

[banggyu0308]

hey author!!! i love your works so much they’re all so good and i love the beomgyu one omg i think i’ve read it a few times now hehe 🤭 but anyways here’s my request!!

i was thinking beomgyu asking the reader to hang out with him because he’s utterly in love with them and wants to try and confess but they spend the whole day with another member (i don’t mind which!) so he gets really jealous and hides himself away because he’s really clingy and when the reader finds him sulking and asks him why he just spills that he loves them but felt insecure after today because he thought the member would be a better match so the reader shows him how much he means to them ifywim 😏😏 but i live for whimpery sub gyu who wants nothing more to be called the readers good boy i feel like gyu would have a huge praise kink 🤭

anyways hope you have an amazing day and if that wasn’t detailed enough do ask for more!! and stay healthy!! 🫶🫶🫶

i am so so so so so sorry this took almost two months i was gonna make it a whole fic but then i got so writer's blocked and im really sorry 😭❤️

warnings: idol gyu, jealous sulky gyu, praise, unprotected sex, handjob, blowjob, crying (not related to sex), yeah i made the other member yeonjun just for fun, sub gyu but he's on top, reader calls him 'gyu' and 'good boy', virgin beomgyu, mommy kink, very slight pussy eating

beomgyu who texts you so sweetly, asking if you maybe wanna hang out today, he's off of work and the first thing he thought of doing was spending time with you 🥺 a smile on your lips as you type out a response and he's at your house in 10 minutes, hugging you tight when you open the door :(( a wide grin on his face the whole ride to the dorm, asking what you want to do, a movie maybe? that'd be fun, you can cuddle and he can play with your hair and see if he can get away with a small kiss on your forehead... but of course he doesn't tell you any of this. tugging you by your hand into the dorm once you arrive, stopped in his tracks by yeonjun :(( a slight pout on his lips when his hyung gives you a hug and you giggle, and before beomgyu knows it you're off in the living room talking with yeonjun, laughing at something he says, and the bright look of enjoyment on your face makes him want to cry. of course you'd rather hang out with yeonjun... can't compare with his hyung in any way, but it's fine, maybe the three of you can watch a movie together?

beomgyu sitting awkwardly on the couch as you and yeonjun talk, his eyes on his lap, he almost wishes you'd make a move to acknowledge him :(( too sucked in to talking with yeonjun, and when you don't even notice him getting up to leave, beomgyu starts thinking that maybe that's fine... yeonjun's probably better for you anyways

sulking in his room and internally hoping you'll come and find him, tears pricking his eyes and he hides under his blanket when he realizes that's not the case, he's still there 30 minutes later when yeonjun announces he's leaving and you realize beomgyu's disappeared... wandering around the dorm to find him and checking his room... there's a beomgyu-shaped lump curled up under the blanket and you sit on the edge of the bed, voice soft as you say gyu? are you okay?

he doesn't respond but a part of the lump wiggles a bit, and you assume it's his head and he's shaking it. why not? you rub at his back lightly and he flinches, making you draw back your hand. gyu, please, tell me?

he pokes his head out of the blanket and you notice his cheeks are red, his hair messy, and there are dried tear tracks on his face. just wanted to hang out with you, love you so much, not like a friend at all but yeonjun-hyung would be so much better for you than me he admits, tears filling his eyes and streaking down his cheeks again.

your eyes widen in surprise, and your lips form a small o. gyu... i don't like yeonjun like that. at all.

but you were so good together... even laughed at all his jokes he mumbles, hiding his face again.

by this point you're so sick and tired of his moping, and you have no idea how to say what you want, so you simply lay down next to him in his bed, face across from his, place a hand on his cheek, and lean forward to brush his lips with yours. you can feel his whole body tense against you and under your other hand, his heartbeat speeds up so fast you almost giggle, using your hand on his cheek to pull him closer.

only love you like that, gyu, i promise you exhale, pressing more kisses to his lips and cheek before drawing them down his neck, biting a hickey onto the soft skin there... he doesn't even know how many times you two'd be having a conversation and your gaze would just drop to his neck, something so tempting about it. you press a kiss to his adam's apple before licking up it slowly, sucking a mark directly on it, tongue on his perfect smooth skin, and he lets out a whimper so shocking it makes you gasp before running a hand up and down the expanse of his waist... he's wearing a fitted tank top today and he looked so fuckable in it, dipping so low to expose his collarbones, your lips focusing on them instead.

your hand slips under his waistband to palm him gently. his tip is leaking precum onto his boxers, and there's already a wet splotch there when you tug down his pants, sliding your hand up and down his length once, taking him in your mouth after whispering gonna show you that, alright? show you you're the only one i want

he giggles just a little, humming the tune of blue hour before letting out a small hiss, your tongue dipping over his tip and he's already twitching in your mouth, an embarrassed flush creeping up his neck, he can't help it, you make him feel so good :((

but you stop just before he cums, tutting, saying only gonna cum once you're inside me, alright? and he nods in agreement, his eyes wide, and he half thinks you're going to ride him, but you suddenly lay on your back, tugging off your pants and spreading your legs wide for him to see... and beomgyu can hardly breathe, cunt looking so delicious, he can't help settling between your legs with a long lap at your clit before pressing his tip to your entrance, he knows what to do even if he hasn't done it before. pushing in just a little, looking at you for approval before sinking in a little more, gummy walls around his dick making his arms shake, can barely hold himself up :(( losing himself just a little when you clamp down around him, his hips twitching forwards on their own. your lips are parted silently, head leaned back in pleasure, but you gather yourself to gently rock your hips towards his, encouraging him to start thrusting in and out and a slow pace that grows more desperate when he catches your lips with his, mumbling against you am i making you feel good?

you nod, gasping shakily when he presses up against that perfect spot, eyes squeezing shut so, so good, you're doing so good, my good boy, aren't you?

his whole body shakes at the praise, little whimpers leaving his lips as he struggles to keep his pace steady, an incoherent sentence slipping out of his mouth, and you ask him to repeat himself... say it again, please n/n, say again?

and you giggle, threading your fingers through his hair mommy's good boy, aren't you, gyu?

his whimpers turn to gasps and his movements are erratic now, no pace set, just his hips hitting yours repeatedly, and a whine of mommy, mommy, 'm gonna cum, please? makes you jolt back from getting lost in your pleasure. you nod, and he pulls out to cum on your thighs, his eyes going so wide at the sight

he licks up his cum before nudging your clit with his nose, tongue lapping at your cunt until he has you shaking under him, which honestly doesn't take long... his tongue is inexperienced but he knows how to use it, dragging his tongue along your slit to capture all your arousal once you cum under him <3

once you recover, the both of you let out simultaneous giggles, and you pull him close to you, resting your head on his shoulder... he's the little spoon tonight 🤭 whispering in his ear that it's always been him for you, there's no other option in your mind, and look, he's all yours now <3

[branches-and-thorns]

Listening to EPIC on shuffle liveblog

1:35pm: we’re on Ruthlessness! It’s a vibe I’m enjoying it.

1:38pm: …FULL SPEED AHEAD! Just got asked what I’m laughing at, oh boys you are not getting home. And an alarm just went off and paused the music like that was the source—

1:43pm: MY GOODBYE! Honestly one of my favourite songs. I think I should draw it at some point. I have several OC-related thoughts about it. Turning it up a little bit, completely ignoring the outside world :>

1:46pm: Just a Man! Spotify’s giving me all the songs I associate with OCs and frankly I’m not mad. And god this version sounds so more tragic than the original. Idk if that’s the retrospect or the singing tho. Also I swear I can hear roaring at one point?

1:49pm: STORRRRRRRRRRRRM!

1:52pm: MONSTER MY BELOVED!! So this song has BIG oc associations for me but the much funnier story is that I had my pre-op appointment right after this saga came out and in an attempt to deal with blood drawing I fucking BLARED this song through my headphones and it actually worked and frankly there is no bigger mood rn. Hands down favourite song of the show.

1:55pm: THE UNDERWORLD! THE MUSIC! I AM VIBING SO MUCH RN! Okay now it’s on the mom bit and I’m just glancing my own mum and…emotions. OKAY BACK TO MUSICCCC

2pm: THUNDER BRINGERRRRRRR!!! This will be two minutes of vibing and the rest will be screaming internally NO. OKAY I AM SCREAMING NOW. WHY IS THIS SONG SO EMOTIONAL I CANT. God this ending music makes me wanna cry. These characters are not real why am I like this.

2:05pm: NO LONGER YOU ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. SEE I LOVE THIS SONG BUT LIKE NOT NOW IM STILL DEALING WITH THE PROPHESIED EVENTS PLEASE. OH I CAN ACTUALLY HEAR THE SCYLLA AND SIREN SONG IM SO DONE RN

2:08PM: OH THAT WAS A SQUELCH THIS IS DIFFERENT BEAST OHHHHHHHHHH. Okay I’m having character thoughts putting a pin in that for after the live-blogging.

2:12PM: WELCOME CIRCE ITS THERE ARE OTHER WAYS! God this song is such a vibe. God she’s such a vibe. And look more character associations! Funny story I was listening to this song while drawing a masquerade and the music in the first half really reminds me of a dance. The tapping beat. Idk how to explain it.

2:18PM: DONE FORRRRRRR!!!! I love this one sm I just. CIRCE. THE SINGING. THE MUSIC. EVERYTHING. I AM IN HEAVEN RN

2:20PM: WARRIOR OF THE MIND! This is just Girls time now I love them sm. GOD Athena’s singing in this is AMAZING. And what is that beat it sounds like a heartbeat. Actually it sounds like a heartbeat a lot what’s with that is that just me.

AND IM CUTTING IT THERE SINCE THE WIFI IS NOW BACK ON

THANKS FOR COMING THIS WAS FUN