#im kind of mad rn
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officially nobody in my family is coming to my chorus concert tonight 👍
#oh but what a fucking coincidence because they came to BOTH OF MY BROTHERS’ CONCERTS#maybe i’m being bitchy#idk#it just hurts that they went to my brothers’ stuff and they’re not going to mine#im kind of mad rn#even if i am not exactly justified#am i?#like…you came to my brothers concerts but you can’t come to my hour long chorus concert?#it just hurts that they make time for my brothers and not me#i’m being dramatic#ill shut up now
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if you had read the story of hind raghab, if you had seen the picture of the child hanging from a pole, its lower body shredded, if you had seen the boy carrying pieces of his brother in a body bag, if you had known the soul of my soul, the story of refaat, and the countless war crimes israel has committed just in 7 months then you wouldn’t stream the song skz is putting out with charlie puth, a zionist and overall bad human, and that israeli producer. you would send a clear message that zionism isnt welcome in any capacity in any medium and you wouldn’t want to fund people who support its hateful ideology. this isnt a matter of being a skz anti and im so fucking tired of people painting it as such. where do you draw the line for your morals?
#‘im just here for the kids’ they will be fine if you dont stream one song#and even it they wouldnt be it doesn’t matter because human lives prevail profit#i just saw a fanbase raising 3500+ for this song#do u know what this kind of money could do for a family of palestinians rn#im so livid and it’s actually crazy that there isnt a general consensus about boycotting this song as it has been for cocacola#what’s different?#maybe u saw that this song could actually chart so u dgaf anymore about palestinian lives????#why would u even want skz to br associated with zionists in the long run???#im so mad like this is driving me insane#charlie puth is a nobody too like 😭 FREE US OH MY GOD#stray kids
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looking at athena’s wikipedia page for fic research and finding this trojan war era art of athena wearing a boar helmet…. i wasn’t specifically looking for even more odysseus and diomedes boar parallels but when god speaks i must Listen
#ive connected the dots#actually i had in mind something about athena master of war being kind of disappointed in odysseus for choosing to feign madness instead of#immediately running to troy to fight for glory because he’s in love and she’s like what is so special about love#I’ll still write it but rn im rotating the boar parallels in my mind…. im thinking….#i know i already wrote one boar fic. but.#odydio#diomedes#odysseus#greek tag
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happy warsaw n2 everyone 💗 i hope you’re all ready to play the surprise song game! there are MANY theories about tonight so if you have any guesses for announcements / new outfits / special things happening etc feel free to guess those as well but otherwise if you want to play just put your guesses in the tags or replies as usual and the winners will get shoutouts in a special celebration post from me
i never used to clown like this but suddenly i feel like i fall for every theory so what the hell….im guessing i did something bad on guitar (even though all i want is for her to play it on piano so badly!!!) and then cassandra x mad woman bc even though i don’t usually guess this one something about warsaw is making me feel like this is the city
#i feel like these guesses are TERRIBLE#but my energy for really thinking about this rn is just not there#im honestly kind of sensing the speak now vault so if she plays that although i didn’t guess it ill be mad#also vigilante shit would be amazing to mashup with idsb but for some reason i don’t think she’d do that one as a surprise song#like some songs are worth playing twice in the same night but that’s not one#i kind of like the idea of castles crumbling with idsb but would she sing that without hayley when hayley is literally there???#see this is too confusing i have no clue#mine#taylor swift#surprise song game
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going insane over Dee, don't mind me:
my beloved. my Absolute beloved. the character of all time. she's basically perpetually six years old. she's technically in her fifties. she loves her brothers. she basically got raised by a man in his early twenties because universe went 'fuck you and your family in particular.' she got killed by a pink motherfucker. she fought back hard enough he had to go get help. she caused enough problems as a ghost that her murderer built a robot to contain her soul. she has (likely) killed before and probably won't hesitate to again if she has to. she and her older brother are such an iconic duo. she's a cat person. depending on how you look at it, her brother has feelings for one of the guys who murdered her. she even has a really cool fucking scarf.
Dee Kennedy my fucking BELOVED-
- dee-in-the-box
Top 10 girls of all fucking time FOR REAL.
#luly talks#asks#dee-in-the-box#also i have to say it here bc im so mad rn but i tried to answer a super old ask you send me about her death#which was amaizing that shit tore me to pieces and put me back together with glue but wrong you're a wicked individual/silly#BUT TUMBLR ATE IT. IT JUST FUCKING. POOF. GONE. AND IM SO UPSET#but on fucking GOD. Dee you'll always be famous.#love how nice she is too..... even in her pain and in her anger she still manages to be reasonable and kind#for crying outloud she forgives Dave in time record#also her brother. bc she loves him so much it's so Fucked up 💥💥💥#still willing to kill him at the drop of a hat but that's just how tje kennedys are WKFGKDBEHE 😭😭#girls of all time...#dsaf
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twitter is so funny for constantly getting into best media literacy matches on a site where youre not allowed to type more than 280 characters at a time. meanwhile i spent my limitless characters here on tumblr to post abt emet selch's erectile dysfunction
#xivposting#twitter is simply not where i go for nuanced takes so it genuinely baffles me that people get mad when i dont offer it there#this post was inspired by a qrt that was furious w me for saying emet selch was not sorry and then went on a rant abt how burdened he is#i shouldnt say this out loud but i feel safer here so im gonna admit it. i fucking hate twitter#i have 280 characters to make a point of course im gonna make jokes its not my fault if you take it way too serious#and i genuinely find having to write tweet threads exhausting. if i break my thoughts up like that#then any one of those points can be spun out of context#i havent posted serious thoughts on there since i was into fuckign fire emblem fates dawg#sorry im ranting im kind of very sick rn and its making me cranky
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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They became pins
(we made them)
Hey, cool to see that you enjoy the designs!
However, I didn't approve of this ^^; I made these designs specifically for my Tee-public and would appreciate it if you and others do not make pins or any other merch of mine unless you've specifically bought them!
And even if it's for self use and not being sold to others, it'd be appreciated if you bought it for yourself instead of using the watermarked version of it to make yourself merchandise. Please don't sell these I'm only letting this go once cause you're young.
If you want a pin without the watermark, I'm selling them on my Tee-public ( I'll share a link soon on my blog.) . From now on I'm going to be increasing the capacity on my Tee-public based posts from now on so something like this doesn't happen again. Apologies to those who get annoyed by this change.
Please don't send hate to them. I'm posting this to let people know not to do this.
#trying not to get mad but like#rn im kind of shaking from car stuff#asks#not art#sorry if I'm kind of off in this#almost car accidents shake people up
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need to make another scorbus playlist ive found so many good songs in the last year
#procrastinating on cleaning my room rn#would you guys be mad if there was like... one showtune#another room in your head from alice by heart i love you so#im thinking the cranberries the smiths laufey and that kind of thing...#scorbus#scorpius malfoy#albus severus potter#harry potter and the cursed child
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Actually sorry I need to bitch and moan about this. I've been reading the san.dman (do not ever do this to yourself it's a hell unimaginable by anyone) and like... I really think it's interesting how much ga/iman is praised as super progressive on Tumblr for THIS specifically when it has so so much bad in it. About 10 issues in I started a game with how many women were in the issue who survived/were raped/nearly raped and it was insane how little women did not fit into these categories. One black woman lived and the rest were all burned alive. And he then later gave an excuse that it was bc of how Dream imprisoned Nada (16 year old African queen who fell in love with him. Its a very big mess and really sucks) in Hell so of course it influenced the entire world and so every black woman but ONE (who was introduced in the second to last issue) died and died violently. Not even to get into how it plays into the really violent misogyny that he had during the short story he wrote around the end of San.dman (when he was in his mid 30s) that was literally just one graphic rape scene to a minor after another (his snow white retelling is pretty infamous bc of how bad it is just by the summary but let me tell you that it is FAR worse to read). Like there's so so much that I think people do not discuss with his writing and it honestly just is very baffling that people hype him up given well. Everything that happens in San.dman. like the endless alone has a lot of... Well let's say interesting issues. Every single woman dream comes across wants to fuck him (to the point that at his funeral, it's 90% the women he was with/wanted to be with him and then a little from his siblings????), despairs entire character is literally just that she's depressed and coincidentally the most prominent fat character (and also naked all the time. Which they did seem to fix in the show but it's baffling how it's like her, one serial killer who nearly raped a woman before dream stops him, a guy that dies and I guess Abel if you squint for the fat rep) and then desire oh my god. I wish desire was written well instead of here's our nonbinary/gender fluid/genderless rep (cool in theory!!!) and then the fact that it (in the original series, she uses he she and it pronouns) raped a woman is dropped on your head and he is not at all regretful about it and ends up like.. taunting the victims granddaughter??? And delirium my god if there was ever a representation for born sexy yesterday and also being weird as fuck about mental illness it would be her. She's barely clothed most of the time, referred to as very very young most of the time and her mental illness (vague) is just kind of used as a joke a lot of the time? Like it's a funny joke that she doesn't remember stuff or that she's overstimulated or that she's using the wrong words or talking like a child. It's really weird because all of these characters have potential but they aren't really ever treated that way. Me when I get him for every single woman treated horribly!!!!!
#twist rambles#i am NOT taking any chances for this thus why its censored bc well. i don't want to deal w it lol#rape mention#misogyny#misogynoir#<- all for bl but im mad about this againnnn#sorry im just!!!!!! when i get him!!! like ppl do NOT know how bad it is and how bad it's handled#no notes on d/eath bc her writing is mostly ok minus the spinoffs but god I just. the way he treats women!! it's bad lmao#not even to get into the lgbt handling bc like.. i guess he was trying but man its so so bad. genuinely do not get me started on it#long post#<- it kind of is but the rage just kind of consumed me a little. like i dont get why he's this bad at it!!! i do actually but like god it#sucks. very good to read this if u want to blow him up already and want to strengthen that#im on a spinoff that everyone hates rn and like man its weirdly a relief that its not written by him. I'm excited to see the stuff caítlin#wrote bc maybe it'll be better. im back to the mines now but. know it's bad ok#and that SUCKS bc like there r characters i like. theres parts i enjoy.#8 was the only one i rly would recommend bc it works better than a lot of the stuff in it but man. yeah. it sucks to see the potential in a#media and then its like misogyny sledgehammer!!!!!
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currently going absolutely insane over the new ofmd episodes and will be for the foreseeable future because AAAAAA
⬇️spoilers for 2x04/5⬇️
crazy insane psycho lesbians is exactly what ed and stede needed fr
also i need them. anne bonny your hand in marriage please.
THE "I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU" LINE BEING SAID FACE TO FACE RATHER THAN IN A LETTER LIKE THE TRAILER IMPLIED I CALLED IT AND AM GOING MAD OVER IT
that whole scene honestly was just AAAAAA
is buttons just...gone? bro turned into a seagull and fucked off, icon honestly
i want lucius's trousers from ep5 they're so cool
lucius getting to throw ed overboard was iconic tbf, he deserved to do that
ed and fang bonding was so sweet
can someone pls check in on frenchie im worried abt him and that allergic reaction </3
the momentary lucius/black pete angst had me scared but THE END?? THE DRAWING AND THE PROPOSAL OH MY GOD I WAS IN TEARS
and as if i wasn't already in tears from that, THE LAST SCENE??? THE YOU WEAR FINE THINGS WELL PARALLEL AND THE KISS???? give me 5-8 business days to recover (actually it'll take longer than that)
also abt to go full film student here but THE MOON IN THAT SCENE BEING NOT FULL LIKE IT WAS IN S1, REFLECTING HOW S1 WAS THEM FALLING HEAD OVER HEELS FOR EACH OTHER AND MOVING TOO QUICKLY BUT THEN IN S2 THEYRE GOING SLOWER AND BUILDING THE RELATIONSHIP GRADUALLY BUT THE SCENE IS STILL MORE ROMANTIC THAN S1 yeah im normal about this i swear
#anne and mary better come back istg#ima be so mad if they were only in this ep#but can you tell im totally fine rn#not jumping around my living room like some kind of autistic frog#not at all#ofmd#ofmd s2#ofmd spoilers#blackbonnet#stede bonnet#ed teach
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Cis people don't post about things you don't understand in the trans tags challenge
#like this is aimed at a specific person and if you are seeing this dont worry it is not you bc ive blocked them#im a little mad rn#they had a take which i was kind of confused on so i checked on their intro to see#who they were and like what are their position to say something of THAT fashion#which was#not a radical take#just a little suspicious#and yup a cis person who says they “dont believe in gender nor in assigned sex” “dont believe it when people say they are some gender”#and “think woman are too entitled when it comes to feminism”#like#im sorry#you dont get the benefit of the doubt#may a woman or a trans person never cross your way#rambles#trans
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the thing is i think steven moffat is. to be totally honest. an absolutely brilliant writer and the themes he explores are ones i personally find more compelling (the doctor as a fairytale figure & the show as overt fantasy, notably). but his gender politics makes me want to screeeeeeeam
#its just this particularly irritating brand of like#whedonesque strong sexually aggressive woman wants nerd male moment#where Every Single interaction between men and women has to be Kinda Sexy#yknow?#and this is also kind of worsened by the doctor being still broadly asexual kinda#which tbh i personally think is a concession to the kind of people who got really mad about the movie kiss#with the result that it just makes alll the women he writes seem like sexed up vamps yknow?#being charitable there is a lot of really interesting stuff re amy and her desperate desire for escapism#its just marred by moffats rabid heterosexuality#caveat im watching s5 rn and i never fully watched 12&clara so im only talking about amy era
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ok i might need to force myself to not romance astarion bc i don't want to know what it says about me to turn down karlach, the woman of my dreams, the character made to cater me personally, like, if she was real i'd bring the moon and stars down for the chance to see her smile, she's everything i've hoped for in a rpg companion, what does it say about me if i turn that down for someone like astarion
#ngl karlach would be too good for me and i wouldnt deserve it#shed probably ask me stuff like 'what do you want?' upon which i would be paralyzed with fear my mind completely blank unable#to process why i can't answer a simple question#and she's so up front with her emotions which i absolutely adore but i could not reciprocate that#wait am i actually for real avoiding the karlach romance bc i feel like this fictional character from a video game is too good for me#a real human being. like. i think i would feel guilty about romancing her#which makes no sense bc i romance characters too good for anyone all of the time. but idk#in those cases ive always had like a strong character i play as who is very divorced from who i am#but playing as durge there is no past so idk who my tav is yet so all i can do is project so he feels very. personal#im v sleepy and also ive had brain fog all day so yea idk#i mean i do genuinely like astarion and his character but in his case i dont feel guilty bc i feel like i#i have no idea how to finish that sentence without it sounding like 'i can fix him'#bc i dont want to fix him i want to show him compassion and respect him and his boundaries so he'll be able to reclaim tje feeling of#being in control of his life#so he'll stop putting people down to feel like hes on a pedestal#like i get him and why he is like that but i just feel like being kind and caring towards him would feel so good#it wouldnt fix him and thats a good thing bc i dont want him to change who he is but i do think he needs support#also hes hot im so mad at myself for being so atteacted to him#we wouldnt b here if i didnt have a thing for voices#besides thag back to the main point of astarion its like. ugh! im so frustrated rn bc i dont have the words#to express my emotions toward him bc everything ive said lacks the nuance that im feelikg but idk how to put it in words#i guess i want to protect him? that such a terrible sentence and still not what om going for
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not someone commenting on tams to tell me to update taob. what if you fucked off forever
#the actual nerve of some people like it's bad enough getting those kinds of comments ON taob#bc obviously any comment along the lines of 'im literally begging you to update' is gonna piss the fuck out of a writer#BUT TO DO IT ON A DIFFERENT FUCKING FIC????? HAVE A HORRIBLE DAY#and the fact these people not only dont think they're doing anything wrong but think they're COMPLIMENTING ME#'i love your writing so much please update taob' IS NOT A FUCKING COMPLIMENT. LET ALONE ON A FIC THAT HAS NO RELEVANCE TO TAOB#WITH NO MENTION OF TAMS IN THE COMMENT EITHER. NO 'I REALLY LIKE THIS FIC. UPDATE TAOB' not that that would make it okay#but the utter audacity of it all is jarring. how are you gonna clearly have read tams and felt the need to comment#just to have NOTHING to say about it and tell me to update a different fic. actually fuck off#ending the comment with 'okay i love you' do you now. do you really. well it's unrequited babe. fuck off#you people make me mad sometimes istg#'hella why are you always so negative about taob's popularity' when i get something good out of it i'll let you know#edit: they left that comment on ch1 of tams which actually implies they didn't even read it which is somehow. worse#like they've clearly just clicked on it with no regard for the passion and effort i put into it seeing as it's a WHOLE SEPERATE FIC#and considered only that i might give the comment more attention if it was on tams not taob. what the actual fuck is the thought process#in what WORLD is someone taking that as a compliment. in what world am i gonna go 'omg writing it rn just for you bestie 🥺'#actually fuming about this idk why this one has got to me so much the utter CHEEK of it all has really knocked me sideways lmaooo
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google search how to draw a half blank half apocalyptic look. wikihow to incorporate half blank half apocalyptic looks into your drawings . top tips on how to make your portraits look half blank half apocalyptic
#im so armandpilled rn#and kind of obsessed with that phrase#also im soooooooo sad mad and bad that i haven't been drawing much lately FUCK school and my baka life#tonight/this weekend though......... maybe i can lock in
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