#im just so fucking tired of this bull shit

[redysetdare]

I'd appreciate it if monkie kid just...stopped removing DBK and PIF from the story if they wanted to make it believable that they were treating Red son better. the fact that they are consistently just not there and we are left in the dark if they are being better parents or if they are still as shitty all the while not giving us any information through Red son himself who is now consistently working with the heroes away from his parents is like.... what is the relationship supposed to be here??? They set up possibilities at the beginning of season 2 then barely followed up and it seems like this is becoming a pattern and it's just feels like it's missing a whole lot of potential. Like idk the dynamic and arc they had set up for the demon bull family had a lot of potential and honestly I would've loved to see it explored but instead they just shoved it off to the side and barely acknowledge it...

[chaosinstigator]

if y’all love and appreciate daniel's input on the team so much... why not repay him in the form of a car he can actually drive

[sadlazzle]

god i jst want these fucking wisdom teeth out. im in so much pain i can’t even sleep. im exhausted i cant eat properly i cant fucking do anything it hurts too much

[bitchkay]

Walking arround an art festival downtown in the middle of the night both drunk and high as shit was lowkey fun

Wouldn't recommend tho

[actual-corpse]

The Mandela effect is fake.

The whole thing was made up by the government in order to cover up government cover-ups.

**This post was made under the influence....

But do not confuse that confession..

I HATE the Mandela effect and I wish people would shut the fuck up about it.

Like... I'm sorry you can't admit that your memory is absolute shit and so you just agree with the people around you to avoid conflict.

[vxiphoid]

SERENE SHENANIGANS

❨ summary ❩ twst › waking them up to tell them stories that don’t make sense

tags ✧ fluff, crack, savanaclaw boys, defo not proofread its like 7 am, cursing but nothing out of the ordinary, ooc(?), ruggie calls you a little shit like once (affectionate), jack is whipped for you

amanuensis’ message ⊹ I LITERALLY LOVE DOING THIS??? my friends hate me for it. but anyways hiii im back after like my month hiatus, how are thy sleeplings?😋 mb guys writers block has been really kicking my ass, i was spitting blanks on paper… i’m gonna hopefully post another pastry emporium soon for scarabia so stay tuned for that‼️

⌜ 300+ e/chara ⌟

♫ sunset boulevard - hohyun

twst masterlist

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

— “leona… pspsps….”

— he hums gruffly when his name was called the first time, only opening his eye thinking you called him a second time when it was really just noise that you would make to get the attention of a house cat. he instantly pins his ears back. how dare you. “hmm?”

— “so i took our snail for a walk and i had accidentally left my feet here to wash the dishes because the grass was blue.”

— huh? you could see him trying to process everything you just said as you explained, his lips parting and eyebrows furrowing. it took everything in you not to laugh. he does one of those blinks, the really delayed ones, one eye opens before the other…

— he’s half asleep too so the confusion is just adding up altogether. if chicken scratch wasn’t a writing term, this is literally it in words. its like the books back at home he picks up to read (derogatory) its, what, 4 am? dont do this to him😭

— you’ve never seen him so expressive💀 this definitely makes his eye and ear twitch at the same time. what type of fucked up fever dream is this?? its usually a blessing seeing you as the first thing he wakes up to, not when you wake him up with some bull strung up in a sentence with your beady eyes staring at him while he sleeps. he loves you, yes, but what does he even say to this…

— “what…”

— your forehead met with his chest as you struggled not to laugh at the uncharacteristic break in leona’s voice. how many cups of coffee did you drink? he asks you to repeat yourself even though it kinda a mind mush decision so you did and by the end of it, he looks absolutely restless.

— “that’s… yes. that’s great, herbivore. can we go to bed now?”

— you note that leona is surprisingly patient when half asleep

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

JACK HOWL

— deep sleeper. tug his ear. though he practically springs up before your hand makes contact, giving himself whiplash.

— “jack?”

— almost instantly relaxes when he realizes its you, tail wagging subtly☹️ “hi, baby. s’something wrong?”

— “hiii, do you remember a year ahead ago when i had to go to the dentist to get my spine fixed and the cats were barking at the flying dogs because the sky was in the water?”

— bro feels like he just had a stroke💀 he’s blinking rapidly, rubbing nose bridge as you explain. he really wants to understand, he does, but wtf did you just say??? it was the innocent “hi” before you unapologetically bashed his head in with the entire dictionary. its so ridiculous he couldn’t help but laugh.

— “jack, this is serious.” even as you told him that, your voice was not steady at all which made his shoulders shake violently in silent laughter.

— “im listening, i swear. tell me one more time?” yk his ass is not listening. he pulls you into his lap while his thumbs idly rubbed your sides, responding to your stories with “uh-huh” and “yeah?” with a lovesick smile on his face.

— eventually holds your face and starts pressing heart squeezing, fluffy kisses all over your face which truly made you more tired then you were. you honestly start forgetting what and where the story was going.

— jack only pauses his kissing attack to respond when you take a small break but even then he doesn’t pull away fully, he’s just speaking against your skin

— “—and the duck had my arm while i was taking it on a walk because gran tammy was in a flying shopping cart.”

— “oh wow. and then?”

— he’s listening but he’s not, mostly because he’s like two seconds away from dreamland and his brain isn’t registering half the shit you’re saying. he wants to see how many stories you can jumble up.

— “yeah, i think it’s bedtime for us…”

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

RUGGIE BUCCHI

— omfg he wakes up like a mom. like yk how you would barely touch them and they would gasp like they were just given cpr?? he wakes up like that.

— and you’re just standing there awkwardly 👁️👁️

— takes a quick look around before looking at you. “what happened? is it time to wake up leona already?” you shake your head and ruggie flops back, an arm draped over his eyes. “you scared me… come, lay down with me?” he held his free arm out for you and you did take your place cozied up against his side. to your surprise, you did actually scare the living shit out of him from how fast his heart was racing.

— “ruggie, yk i just found out you’re related to turtles, right? and i had to take uncle bobby to the vet to get a dna test because the fish drowned in air.”

— slow roblox turn towards you but instead its his head as he cranes it down to stare at you. you can practically hear the gears in his head turning and you literally could not look at him or you’d blow your cover.🧍🏾

— “i’m sorry,, what the fuck??”

— he’s genuinely confused, asking you questions about your story while his brain tries to put together the pieces. each question he asks, the more its harder to speak in full sentences other than wheezes

— “what are you laughing at, ya little shit? explain this to me!”

— “i’m trying!”

— and you are😭 its like when you have to explain the family tree really slow bc you cant say, “my father’s girlfriend’s son” without him like ???? and you’re trying to explain it to him slowly, eventually forgetting what you said in the first place…

— “…and the fish drowned in air.”

— “yes.”

— “sweetheart, you still haven’t explained how i’m related to turtles—”

[skxllz]

Some gallavich x reader fluff?🥹

I got you anon <3 I threw some other shit in here too

++

male! reader

“ rock, paper, gun; shoot! — fuck! ”

mickey lost yet another match of his version of ‘ rock paper scissors ’ to kev, resulting in him standing up from his chair and picking it up, only to throw it someplace in complete anger. just like the sore loser he was.

“ HEY! ” veronica shouted, throwing a dishcloth at him, “ take that shit outside! don't come in here messin’ up my bar! ”

“ fuck your bar, ” mickey pointed at her, to which she reeled her head back in return; a ‘ I know he fucking didn't ’ look overtaking v's face before she looked to kevin, expecting him to say something before she leapt over that counter and strangled mickey her damn self.

“ — and fuck you. ” mickey turned to kevin, now pointing at him.

“ hey, whoa! ” kev's brows furrowed together solemnly. “ no need to get physical and talk to veronica that way, man! it's just a game. ”

“ a fucking game you're cheating at! ” mick’ smacked the table; leaning over it to get a nice, good, sarcastic smile brewin’ in the male's face. “ ‘cause you're too much of’a dumbass to actually win it over and over. ”

“ ian! ” veronica called to the red head who entered the bar, you trailing behind him. “ get your damn dog and put ‘im on a leash! he's throwing my chairs just because he's pissy that kev keeps beatin’ him at a stupid-fucking-game! ” she was now heatedly scrubbing at the counter top, new rag in hand swinging about aggressively. “ you men and your damn games. grow a pair! ”

you looked at veronica wide eyed, but said nothing. of course you weren't offended by her words, her aggression when she got infuriated just always caught you off guard.

ian sighed and walked over to mickey, who still was going on about losing the dumb game. “ mick’, come on. you can't be that mad over losing a game. ”

“ ian, ” mickey moved away from ian's hand, which had extended to grab at him, and made a gesturing motion towards kevin. “ he fucking cheated. there's no way he keeps keeping me at rock, paper, gun. absolutely no-fucking-way! ”

blinking once, you stared at mickey as if he grew another head. “ how does one cheat in rock, paper scissors- sorry, gun?. ”

“ I don't fucking know! ” the brunette threw his hands up, turning to you. “ he just did, okay?! he's a fucking cheater! ”

“ I beg to differ. ” ian rolled his eyes, now crossing his arms over his chest.

you shook your head as you saw mickey's anger increase. ian was not helping by disagreeing with you guys’ boyfriend.

so, you helped the solution the only way you knew how-

“ kev, ” kevin leaned over, looking around ian's body to make eye contact with you, letting out a ‘ huh? ’. “ ya’ should apologize to mickey. cheating isn't cool. ”

mickey and ian's argument that had started up seemed to stop at that. they both turned to look at you, faces mirroring surprise.

honestly, it was comical, but you kept a stoic face while staring at kevin. you knew he wouldn't catch on, but veronica should.

“ what? ” kevin scoffed.

“ I said, you should apologize. ” you shrugged, twisting your lips to the side; sliding your hands into the pockets of your jeans. “ mickey is upset you cheated. it's not cool to cheat. say sorry. ”

kevin gawked at you in clear offense, “ but I didn't cheat! it was just luck! you can't- ”

mickey looked smugly at ian, glad you were defending him, while the red head just looked at you as if you were insane.

“ oh for fuck sake- ” veronica's loud voice boomed throughout the bar, making kev nearly jump out of his skin. his gaze shifted to her, while her eyes turned to him in irritance. “ just say you're sorry! get this shit over with! I'm tired of this bull. ”

“ but v- ”

“ kevin ball. ” veronica's stern, motherly voice came out and kevin knew not to argue with her then. he pinched his lips together, before exhaling heavily through his nose out of annoyance, and turning to mickey.

the brunette was standing there, arms crossed, looking as smug as ever. he clearly was waiting for his apology.

“ I'm sorry. ” kevin stated, letting his fingers thrung out in exaggeration. “ there, I said it. I'm sorry I cheated. ”

mickey widely grinned, “ good- ” he then snatched the money that was displayed on the table, the loose bills they stacked beforehand for their previous bets. kevin stared wide-eyed as the shorter male pocketed them. “ thanks for the apology. now, I'm leavin’- ”

“ you cant just take my money! ” kev sat up straight, scoffing. “ I earned that fair and square! ”

“ you cheated, ” mickey shrugged, “ so it's my money. ”

that being said, the brunette waltzed towards the door of the bar with a cockiness in his step. kevin looked at you, only to stare disheartedly.

shit.

“ uh.. ” you chuckled, rubbing at the back of your neck sheepishly. “ i- um- bye! ” you took out of there faster than he could reply, leaving ian behind.

“ tell your boyfriends- ” ian turned to kevin once he began to speak, “ that there's no more free drinks in my bar. ”

“ did you really have to take his money? ” you huffed, trailing after mickey through your living room and following him to the kitchen. it was your place but he acted as if he owned it.

“ my money, ” mickey corrected, opening the top cabinet and snatching out a box of cinnamon toast crunch. “ he fucking cheated, so the cash is mine. it came out of my pocket to begin with. ”

you rolled your eyes, “ mick’, I know not all of that came from your pocket. you're not dumb enough to agree to a bet unless you're getting more money than you already had. ”

he glanced at you over his shoulder, “ so you callin’ me fuckin’ dumb or something? ”

one blink. two blinks. and then you're staring at him as if he's an actual idiot in that moment. “ that's not what I said at all- ”

“ you said I'm not dumb enough, so that's stating I'm somewhat dumb, just to clarify, right? ” as he argued, he had enough time to go to the fridge and retrieve the milk and pour it into his bowl. so now, he was smacking his cereal aggressively, while giving you a pointed stare.

“ can you not? ” ian sighed as he entered the kitchen, only to dump his phone onto the table so he could remove his hoodie. it was rather hot in your place. “ I'd really like to go a day without you running your mouth. ”

mickey looked at ian with a ‘ are you for real? ’ expression. “ so I run my mouth? ”

“ stop- ” he sighed.

“ no, no- ” mick’ sat his bowl down before gliding over to get in ian's personal space. “ I run my mouth? is it too much for you? ‘cause I could just fucking leave. ”

“ mickey- ” you tried to interfere, but neither of them let up.

the ginger pressed a hard palm to mickey's chest, forcefully backing him up. “ you're not fucking leaving. stop acting so childish! ”

you sighed, this time combing a hand through your hair as you became fed up with your two boyfriends. “ guys! ”

they still didn't bother to acknowledge you, though. mickey was now raising his voice as ian got in his face as well, and it was becoming ugly - you didn't want this leading to something more violent. so, you gritted your teeth, and inhaled.

“ GUYS! ” that finally grabbed their attention.

ian's head swiveled around so that he could look at you. mickey peered over ian's shoulder. you looked to be fuming, smaller fists clenched down at your sides and the space between your brows pinched. “ will you two knock it off?! ”

scoffing, mickey pushed ian back -to which the red head stumbled and glared at him-, only to look at you with disbelief. “ why the fuck am I gettin�� yelled at? he started it. ”

“ you both, ” you gave ian a look that told him he better not open his mouth, “ are being stupid right now. stop- and mickey, you're not dumb, it's just the way I worded my sentence. ”

picking his bowl of cereal back up, mickry rolled his shoulders back, mumbling under his breath. “ course I'm not dumb... I'm fucking smart. ”

you cracked a smile at that.

“ now, ” you pointed a finger to them both, raising your brows. “ no more fighting, right? let's just relax for once. ”

ian glanced at mickey, and mickey glanced at him- but neither said anything. ian then sighed and nodded, “ yeah, no more fighting. ”

“ good. ” you hummed, before shuffling over to ian and pecking him on the cheek, “ thank you. I don't like it when you two argue. ”

“ hey, ” you both looked to the brunette, who had an arm extended dramatically so and a distraught look on his face. “ the fuck am I, chopped liver? ”

a giggle escaped you, “ no! ” and you made your way over to mickey, only to kiss him on the cheek as well. but he scoffed for the hundredth time.

“ that's no fucking kiss- ” he muttered, only to pull you closer by binding his arm around your waist. “ come ‘ere. ”

the male pressed his lips greedily to yours, intaking your warmth and savoring your taste. you could taste the cinnamon-y sweetness on him from the cereal, and it made you grin.

“ I think I deserve one too, ” ian whispered as he came from behind, too hooking an arm around you. you parted from mickey to turn your head and smile at your other boyfriend.

“ I love you guys. ” you chuckled, kissing ian sweetly. he kissed back, softness to his touch.

“ we love you too, doll. ”

[ravers8fantasy]

The convo in coment section inspored me. Could you please write some headcanons about how the other boxers reacted to Don's new emo look? Please I need to see him ridiculed by the more mean ones😭. Also im to lazy to come up with headcanons myself-

Im so sorry it took me longer that usual to do this 😭 my motivation is coming back to me, trust we are slowly gonna be so fucking back

If there are any spelling mistakes or just mistakes in general, im so sorry

Anyway lets gooooooooooo ( •̀ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧

Reactions to Don going dark mode:

Glass Joe:

Didnt think much of it at first, until he saw Don redying his toupee in a sink using temporary dye which is when he realised "mon dieu is this guy serious?"

Is a little concerned, because Don just looks upset 24/7 (his eyeliner keeps smudging so he looks tired)

However, he is just letting Don do his own thing since he seems pretty happy with himself

Von Kaiser:

Since being the oldest member of the WBVA means he has seen fuck all go down, Dons sudden cosmetic change was just kinda there, Kaiser didnt mind it nor did he really care💀

Told Don to get better fucking eyeliner because his kept smudging and it was annoying Kaiser

Thinks Don is just going through a phase so he is letting him brood it out until it washes over

Disco kid:

Thought Don was being silly and laughed at him. He got yelled at and realised he was in fact NOT joking

Got worried because he thought Don was going to stay like that forever

Told Don about hot topic because he genuinely didnt know what else to say to his emo ass

King hippo:

King kinda gave 0 fucks, saw Don and offered him some snacks since his rbf lwk ruining the vibes

Didnt really react, just kinda groaned and walked away

Has no idea what emo is, just think Don looks moody but then again King doesnt really care

Piston hondo:

Didnt know wether to laugh or cry, he always knew Don was dramatic and sensetive but he never would of thought he would end up emo

asked him what was wrong like a good person... But secretly couldn't take him seriously

Had to consult the others in the major circuit to discuss (gossip) about the phenomenon (don)

Bear hugger:

Thought Don was just changing up his look for a fresh start

"hey pal! I like your new look"

"no you dont... Dont lie to me, my heart has already gone through enough pain..."

"....what? your heart hurts! Have you been to a doctor?"

Was really curious about this whole 'emo' style so he kept asking the others about it

Was the most confused during the emergency meeting Hondo held because he just thought Don was being Don (dramatic)

Great tiger:

He says he isnt a hater buuuut, sometimes he lets it slide, in this case when he saw Don he couldnt help but raise an eyebrow

Was trying to show concern to Don, but mid scentence he ended up cracking and lost it, bro started giggling in his face

Is not taking Don seriously, if anything he is trying to persuade him to go back to himself before

Aran ryan:

Did a double take, said "what the feck", and started cackling at Don brooding in the corner of the locker room

Realised halfway through flaming him that his hair was dyed darker, that only added fuel to the fire.

Now he gets called 'rosie posie' even more by the little shit since it counters his 'mysterious' exterior. Dont worry, Aran eventually got bored ofmaking fun of him. that changed when he saw his goofy ahh '6'5 mysterious alpha' stance in the ring

Soda popinski:

Thought Don was in mourning and suggested he should take a break.

Got told by Hondo he was 'emo' and Soda was just like oh ok im gonna take the piss out of him now!!!

Kept annoying Don by asking him to sing my chemical romance or fall out boy, to which Don obviously said hecks naw to

Bald bull:

Took one good look at Don and felt greatful he wasnt in the major circuit because to bull, Don gen looked like some sad moody teenager

Just avoided him because the last thing Bull wanted was a 6'1, 23 year old spaniard complaining about how dark his soul is or smth

Obviously, once yknow over coming the uh 'shock?' of seeing Don all emofied he stopped avoiding him but yeah. Bulk found it strange

Super macho man:

Said something along the lines of 'rock on crazy dude- black isnt your colour.'

Kept trying to make him confess if it was the little mac toupee incident or the rumored break up which made him go emo

joked and told Don to buy fishnet leggings (promptly got punched in the face afterwards by Don)

(btw, carmen and don are endgame dont even play with me rn /lh)

Sandman:

Saw him, turned around and left because he honestly was speechless and not in a 'oh!" way but more like an oh Wait what the fuck was that way-

Like Kaiser, he also told Don to use better eyeliner. He also told Don not to use so much other wise he will have severe panda eyes by the end of a match

Just didnt have alot to say about it really😭

・*:..｡o♬*ﾟ・*:..｡o♬*ﾟ・*:..｡o♬*ﾟ・*:..｡o♬*ﾟ*:..

This was alot of fun to write about!! Again sorry it took longer than usual, school has been kicking me up the arse 😭😭thanks for the ask! BRING BACK GUYLINER. 🗣️🗣️🗣️

[supermaks]

I think this a good time as any to share what I think H0rners big brain been cooking for some time, especially after the Spa fiasco wid Danny ric and allegedly big sponsors having to step in to save Checos seat ((Im skeptical of those reports but they not really the point, Checo bringing Liberty, and rbr, a lot of money from very intense LATAM pockets never been a secret, and it does matter in the cost cap era, its just how things are. Plus replacing Checo not something that keeps Horner up at night believe it or not, and that's where my word vomit comes in)).

I been sitting wid this 1 for some time, but mind u its all speculation on my part and mostly incoherent because my brain is completely fried these days. But stay wid me 😭😭. Adrian Newey leaving-- not just because of how it was announced, the way it was dealt wid internally, the shit he's been saying to press now ((he's tired and needs a break but been shopping around for teams like he's bored on hinge)) -- was , imo, more of a statement of distrust. In the rbr project, but mainly in Horner. He no longer believes Horners ability to succeed, he prolly already knew the rb20 as an evolution of the rb19 had its set of obvious limitations when it came to suspension once the field closed up, he knew they were headed down a difficult type of season, he took a step back, he saw the cracks begin to delve deeper and deeper into nastiness between the Verstappen camp and Horner, he saw Horner refuse to take accountability while Max very pointedly and UNLIKE all the other red bull drivers refused to express his unconditional support for Horner. Quite the opposite, Verstappen began making threats. Centering the importance of the car ((!!!)) and a stable environment, not Horners innocence or lack thereof. He doesn't care about that, as long as hes got the people and the car to work wid. Keep that in mind.

But back to the Newey divorce . Adrians one of the most important figures in motorsport period, he knew he had better options, perhaps some financial motivations, why not, he said thank you, I don't trust you anymore, goodbye. So here falls a core, original pillar of Milton Keynes, arguably one of the most successful aerodynamicists of all time. 1 of Red Bulls bishop, gone. Still, they rallied behind Wache, they said Adrian hadn't been part of development for some time, their factory remains strong, they can fill in the gaps, rbr is STABLE, sure sure sure.

Imola, Canada, Spain. We all hold hands wid Max and play pretend for a lil bit. Verstappen factor and all that bullshit. But for some reason, Max delivers the same conclusion every post race presser. This car is falling behind. We are starting to struggle. The sim data and the on track data don't correlate. This car is not gonna win constructors. Idk how the fuck its even the WDC. CHECO of course appears to be driving for my cousin's bumper cars themed birthday party so we can all point and laugh and marvel at how a driver known for his experience and who's won races and gotten poles to suddenly drop to fucking p6 in the standings. Surely this is the worst driver of all time. Surely.

Austria. Rbr pit stops, already looking kinda iffy since the beginning of the season, hit a new low. Lando, wid a single good overtake, wins the race, effectively beating Max on track. Max didn't let him. And he came out of it with a points advantage too, because he made a choice regarding his driving and how he wud defend his position. In a better car, that's never a choice he has to make. But the car isn't on par wid Mclaren. Rbr factory development has, quite clearly, stalled. Upgrade packages go backwards.

Hungary. Yeah. Everything is stable and the car was good and Max was beyond delighted of course.

So, that's stable environment gone, competitive car gone, and now off goes Wheatley to fulfill his tp destiny. Somebody , who, once upon a time, was rightly identified as the guy who wud replace Christian Horner due to the severity of the allegations made against him. Yeah, remember when Horner shud have fucking been fired? But Horner stayed, Newey left, and Wheatley left. To disconnect these events is, imo, a lil bit insane. Wid Wheatley gone, that's red bulls bishop n2 fallen. I think its fairly reasonable to assume somebody wid 2 cats in Monaco is straight up not having a good time anymore.

So, where do Checo and Danny ric and that fucking seat come in. They're all part of this dance, but I think in a way that's been fairly misinterpreted. See for a long time now, prolly since he signed Danny ric to do tiktoks, even before Vcarb became a thing, Horner has not been looking for a replacement for Checo. He's been looking for a replacement for Max. Ik, again, this is me letting the voices take over. Lemme say some unhinged shit before u call the cops. Max is an impossible teammate. U cant match Max on pace over an entire season, u cant prioritize a driver over Max when it comes to development, u cant tailor a car to somebody like Checo ((which , because Im so fucking money on this, is what Horner has just claimed he's gonna start doing post Spa)) and not Max, because, simply put, the car will be slower. Max can drive faster cars, he can deliver the poles, he can give rbr a fighting chance, he's been doing that shit, wid more or less success, all season, most of his fucking career actually. Now, who do y'all know who also qualifies very well, likes a pointy car wid a shit ton of oversteer and recently been caught discussing rb20 failings wid Verstappen himself. Danny ric. And Danny ric, like Checo, is very much in the Horner camp side of things. Danny ric, rn, comes wid bonuses of loyalty and trust and maybe a lil chip on his shoulder that Verstappen quite simply does not have, or cares to have because that brother is trying to get his fourth championship, not survive f1. Danny ric comes as a success story for red Bull amidst very trying times for the brand, the silver son who bent the knee and came home to warm hugs and big smiles after nearly getting fucking taken out back in a farm by Zak brown. U put that brother next to Checo or Lawson or whoever u also have the bonus of not having one of the best drivers of all time absolutely refuse to finish behind them, which can be a lil bit annoying if the car is shit too.

Horner is a stingy, extremely egocentric asshole, who prolly shudve been fired a long time ago, and he's not the team principal I thought he was. Horner's strength as a tp came from standing on business for his WDC once the going gets hard. He's doing none of that this season, at least not for Max. He's just a man, and at the end of the day, he's got the pride and insecurity of one, too. If he thought Newey was expendable, well sure u already have a bald man in the team who gives a fuck ((????)), if he thinks Wheatley is expendable, that's pointing towards a more personal type of dutch centric trend, because if he thinks MAX is expendable ... if this 2023 Merc stinking ass fucking season is headed the way I think its headed baby. I wish him good luck .

[blueberry-ovaries]

WHAT SONG ARE THEY?:

these are the songs i associate with the BoB men > this is just general songs from any genre and band

Dick Winters: Viva La Vida - Coldplay

‘Just a puppet on a lonely string - Oh who would ever want to be king’

Lewis Nixon: Kiwi - Harry Styles

‘She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes - Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect’

Carwood Lipton: The Chain - Fleetwood Mac

‘And if you don’t love me now - You will never love me again - I can still hear you saying - We will never break the chain’

Ronald Spiers: Teeth - 5 seconds of summer

‘Fight so dirty but your love’s so sweet - Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth’

Harry Welsh: Budapest - George Ezra

‘My acres of a land, I have achieved - It may be hard for you to stop and believe - But for you (ooh), you (ooh)- I’d leave it all’

Joe Liebgott: Only Angel - Harry Styles

‘Broke a finger knocking on your bedroom door - I got splinters in my knuckles crawling cross the floor’

Joe Toye: Thunderstruck -AC/DC

‘Ain’t got no gun, ain’t got no knife - Don’t you start no fight - ‘Cause im T.N.T. Im dynamite - T.N.T. and i’ll win the fight’

Bill Guarnere: Breakin’ Dishes - Rhianna

‘I’m kickin’ ass, i’m taking names, i’m on flame, don’t come home babe - I’m breaking dishes up in here, all night’

George Luz: Bad Omens - 5 seconds of summer

‘I cried in your dark brown eyes for the thousandth time - ‘cause you love somebody - I died when you left that night for the thousandth time - ‘Cause you love somebody

Skip Muck: Youngblood - 5 seconds of summer

‘Remember the words you told me - Love me ‘til the day i die - Surrender my everything ‘cause you made me believe you’re mine’

Don Malarkey: The Archer - Taylor Swift

‘Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay - ‘Cause they see right through me, they see right through me’

Frank Perconte: Treasure - Bruno Mars

‘Honey, you’re my golden star - You know you can make my wish come true -If you let me treasure you’

Babe Heffron: Angel of Small Death and the Codine Scene - Hozier

‘With her sweetened breath and her tongue so mean - She’s the angel of small death and the codine scene - With her straw blonde hair - her arms hard and lean - she’s the angel of small death and the codine scene’

Bull Randleman: Enter Sandman - Metallica

‘Til the sandman, he comes - Sleep with one eye open - Gripping your pillow tight - Exit light, Enter night’

Skinny Sisk: Little Less Conversation - Elvis

‘All this aggravation ain’t satisfactioning me - A little more bite and a little less bark - A little less fight and a little more spark’

David Webster: No Shame - 5 seconds of summer

‘Love is fatal - Won’t you give it a chance? - Centre of attention - Don’t you ask me any questions’

Shifty Powers: Learn to Fly - Foo Fighters

‘Now, i’m lookin’ to the sky to save me - Lookin’ for a sign of life - Lookin’ for something to help me burn out bright’

Johnny Martin: Custer - Slipknot

‘These days I never seem to get enough- I’m tired of this shit, I want to go home - Don’t waste my fucking time’

Chuck Grant: Piano Man - Billy Joel

‘He says ‘son can you play me a memory - I’m not really sure how it goes - But it’s sad and it’s sweet and i knew it complete - When i wore a younger man’s clothes’’

Floyd Talbert: Ride - Sir Mix-A-Lot

‘Call me a jockey - ‘Cause i’m ridin’ them skirts and i talk real cocky’

Eugene Roe: Young and Beautiful - Lana Del Ray

‘Dear lord when i get to heaven, please let me bring my man - When he comes tell me that you’ll let him in’

Pat Christensen: Someone New - Hozier

‘Honey there is no right way - And so i fall in love just a little ol’ little bit - Every day with someone new’

Buck Compton: Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls

‘Yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive - And i don’t want the world to see me- ‘Cause i don’t think that they’d understand’

[shit-sorry-fuck-mybad]

FUCK YES PLEASE TOP GUN F1 AU !!!!!!!!

BABE THIS MIGHT BE JUST FOR US TWO BUT THANK YOU

Anyway.

BACKGROUND INFO IM SO EXCITED

Tom Kazansky drives for Red Bull, because of course he does, and his driving is flawless

He plays with the drivers, he keeps them behind, let’s them follow him until they can’t keep up, he follows them closely, he drives them crazy until they get tired and make a mistake and he overtakes them

He was nicknamed “The Iceman”, ice cold, no mistakes, that’s what they say about him

Ron Kerner is Red Bull’s second driver, he is a sneaky mother fucker, you don’t see him coming till he’s right next to you, great at overtaking, not so great at maintaining his position

They nicknamed him “Slider” after a particularly impressive move, a big crash in which he somehow managed to avoid getting hit, he came out completely untouched, he slides through the cars like its the easiest thing in the world

Pete Mitchell drives for Ferrari, his dad used to drive for Ferrari but he died in a nasty crash, lots of cars were involved and eventually they started blaming him, Pete will always defend him, wasn’t great for getting sponsors and actually getting an f1 contract but he fought teeth and claw to get to where he is

He quickly gained a reputation after joining f1, he’s impulsive and reckless, he’s aggressive, he does dangerous shit on the track and somehow he always manages to get results

People almost never call him Pete, they call him “Maverick”, the media calls him “Mad Mav”

Nick Bradshaw also drives for Ferrari, he defends like a god

His protective nature gave him his nickname, people usually shout “MOTHER GOOSE” when they see him pass

He may not be as great as Maverick and Iceman but he’s a damn good driver, everyone loves him

Hollywood and Wolfman drive for Mclaren, they’re the best teammates on the grid, they rarely fight, they work together like they have the same mind, they’re almost synchronized, scary as fuck if both of them are behind you

Merlin drives for Alfa Romeo, he used to drive with Cougar for Ferrari but Cougar had an accident and decided to quit formula one and Merlin moved to Alfa Romeo, which opened both Ferrari seats for Mav and Goose

Charlie is Ferrari’s strategist, she’s the best there is, smart, quick, she can adapt to situations in seconds, if only Maverick would fucking listen for once

Viper is Ferrari’s team Principal, he used to drive with Mav’s father, he’s a three time world champion

Mav drove for Alfa Romeo for two years before he got the Ferrari seat, he never won a race there but he got way closer than people thought he could

Before joining Ferrari, Goose used to drive for Alfa Tauri

Ice joined f1 when he was barely 18, spent a year in Alfa Tauri before he got a seat in Red Bull, he hasn’t won a championship yet but he has gotten dangerously close

Yeah that’s all I have for general background info, I got so much shit but I can’t put it all in one post

Appreciate how I stole inspiration directly from mr Max Verstappen’s life to write Iceman’s background like 💀 also appreciate how I didn’t include Merc not because I don’t like them (which I don’t) but because I completely forgot they existed AND appreciate me trying to make Ferrari an actual top team with people that know what they’re doing

And I know that an almost all American f1 grid is not possible BUT it’s my au and I get to chose the inaccuracies

Here’s the second part -> x

[mugeesworld]

CW: talks about fatphobia.

I try to use my page as a safe place for the plus size community. To help some of them realize they are desirable and gorgeous even though society says they aren't cause of their weight. So I try not to talk about fatphobia on my page. Or sorta vent in that area. Cause it sorts ruins the vibes ig but I'm tired of seeing the fatphobia and I need to address. Idc if no one sees this. Or if it gets hate. It's needs to be out there. Cause I'm tired of seeing. And the least I can do is bring it up so some people can understand it or bring it to their attention. Cause the plus size community deserves to be heard. We deserve to be able to speak of our feelings without being invalidated or judged. And if you feel the same and need a place to talk about it real quick. Please feel free to say something in my comments. Vent. Do whatever ♥︎

I'm so fucking tired of people forcing this idea and standard that being fat is unattractive. That you can't find love when you're fat. To be desirable you have to be thin and petite.

Go ahead and call me sensitive or tell me to "take a joke" I don't fucking care anymore. I'm tired of my feelings being invalidated cause of my body. I'm human.

Just fucking stop. For the love of fucking god. We haven't done anything to you. Why do you care so much. Let us live. Let us feel loved. Let us be fucking happy. Plus size people have never done anything wrong. Its so crazy to see people hate on the plus size community every single day like we did something so terrible. We haven't done shit. We are just trying to live.

Why do y'all continue to hate on us for no reason. Please give me a reason. I'm begging you. Cause the "I care about your health" is bull shit. You don't care about us. You wouldn't tell us all this hurtful stuff if you did care. You're not a doctor. Skinny doesn't mean healthy. Fat doesn't be unhealthy. Go to college for that shit then come talk to me.

Im sorry you've been brainwashed that you have to be skinny to be pretty but that's so true. It's NO. The beauty standard is a myth. It's a illusion. You can be fat and be loved. You can love a fat person. Ok?!?! If that's not your type then fine!

Please don't tell me to kms just cause you don't find me attractive! Thanks!

[neverluckygoldfish]

89 -

I feel like:

- I feel really lost and like I don’t know what im doing and I’ve wasted all this time in my life chasing the wrong things that I thought would heal me from my pain and stop hurting others and everything I’ve thought has turned out to be wrong and I’ve just been in some delusion im a good person but really I’m a narcissistic walking trauma response that benefits nobody’s life and leaves destruction in her wake -

Light stuff. I feel like I’m going crazy like I feel actually out of control.

But I’ll tell you what sounds fucking awful - drinking.

Like yeah I feel like an emotional tornado, but also I want to feel this. It’s scary and horrible and I really just want anything to avoid being in my body. But sitting and holding these feelings (not being perfectly happy-go-lucky and unbothered all the time) is practice so that i can manage these feelings on my own.

Because ultimately, deep down under all the bull shit is a person that just wants to do good. I’m tired of creating collateral damage and hurting others and avoiding my own vulnerabilities.

What I want out of life (if I’m going to be here), I will not achieve if I keep drinking. It won’t happen.

Everything will get worse. So I have a choice. Same choice I’ve always had.

I’m finally choosing the other option.

I’m being so dramatic acting like a martyr for my own life but I mean…I am the main character in this story of mine so….

[finnyphcntom]

notorious.

----------

chapter two : combos

---------

He remembers his young days, walking into this very gas station way past his curfew with Aiden. He’d walk right in and buy him one big blue raspberry slushie, and then grab whatever snack he was craving that night. It was typically combos. He fucking loved combos.

---------

Fucking shit.

He was tired, exhausted even. He knew Dandelion was fun to talk to but shit, not that fun.

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : geralt got baxk with me the party is at 6 but everyone showsbup late to shit like that so meet me at 7'

'+1 xxx-xxx-xxxx : excited to see you, its been a while!'

The speedway parking lot was rather empty when Lambert put his car in park.

There were many things he swore by, and just as many things he swore by but didn't listen to. One of those things was stopping caffeine- effective probably never.

Not only did Dandelion keep him up, but he was just a tired grouchy man.

But he needed his energy today. He had to work a shitty 9-5, but after, he had a party to crash. Better expect pettiness of all that is petty. He's talking tables thrown, lies exposed…

He knew the location, the time, who all would be there. Its funny, actually, because Dandelion said Kiera's been there often.

But she hadn't. Lambert had asked her about it; if she knew anything. Each time she would go quiet as if trying to remember or think if she has, but would always answer no. The days of the party, she would be stuck at her business late or have something to do. So there was no way she would have been able to make it.

She always had something to do, near the end.

Isnt that funny? Never wanted to hang out with him, never went on dates, barely even responded to him, but sobbed when he left her. She begged him to stay, hell, even threw glassware at him- it made no sense in his rather walnut sized brain.

'lambert : hey do me a favor, dont tell geralt im going'

'lambert : or tbh anyone for that matter. i want it to be a complete surprise.'

'lambert : do that for me and consider me ur free ride of the night, will u princess?’

He slipped his phone into his pocket and got out of his car, walking into the speedway.

He remembers his young days, walking into this very gas station way past his curfew with Aiden. He’d walk right in and buy him one big blue raspberry slushie, and then grab whatever snack he was craving that night. It was typically combos. He fucking loved combos.

Aiden first put him on the snack, Lambert thinking they were incredibly… “mid.” But after trying different flavors, he realized he was literally obsessed with the pizza flavors. They were a snack sent by the heavens, a gift from god himself.

But man, how he missed Aiden. Grief never ends, never goes away. Lambert lost maybe more than half of him when he received that phone call that night from Aiden’s mother. Everyday was the same- no more two in the morning gas station runs and getting high behind said gas station. No more skipping highschool classes to hang out in the bathrooms.

He could never again eat combos.

Life was the same. He finds someone he clicks with, gets attached to them way to quick then someone like him should, its good for a while, and then it ends. Doesn't matter how that ending comes about, it still ends.

And every single day he works this shit ass nine to five. He comes back and does the same farm work, plays the same game. He could really use a switch up, but how?

A ding from his phone causes him to realize that he's standing there, just ominously staring at the red bull fridge. If he had a nickel for every time his phone is the mediator between him and his weirdly timed zone-outs, he would have… plenty of nickels, actually.

‘dandelion : oh, what kind of ride we talkin? ;)’

‘dandelion : is your passenger seat taken? morning btw ^^ i fell asleep’

Lambert's response was shamefully immediate. And oh yeah, he saved Dandelions contact.

‘lambert : never ta ken when its you, princess’

‘lambert : and im talkin bout the ride of your life baby’

His smile is the biggest it’s been in a while when he grabs two or three red bulls and heads to the self checkout.

He really, really wasn't used to this. What the fuck was he doing? Flirting was typically really hard for the guy, given he attempts to avoid any form of human interaction.

Dandelion doesn't answer, not even when he's paid and back in his car. Lambert has never been the most patient of people.

‘dandelion : uhhhhh what do i do if 3 of my tires are slashed?’

‘dandelion : i have a performance idk what to do should i call geralt?’

‘dandelion : geralt will just get mad tho and assume it was my ex’

He stared at his phone screen. According to Geralt, Dandelion’s ex is.. well, psychotic. Dandelion has had to move, stay nights with them, and get Geralt to scare the guy off on multiple occasions.

But he had work in approximately 23 minutes. He couldnt skip work, it was too late for him to call in. He would be in big trouble if he did so, there only being one other manager for the whole store. Not to mention, the paycut. His paycheck would be short, and he's got saving to do.

Geralt would likely get angry at him, too. He was always real big on making sure Lambert never socialized with Dandelion. Lambert was never really sure why.

Of course, there were a lot of reasons he speculated. Geralt knew Lambert would treat him better. Geralt knew Dandelion would like him better. Geralt knew that though antisocial, Lambert tended to form attachments quickly.

Years of abuse and neglect from a drunken father would do that to a guy, he supposes. Always getting attached, paranoid of random people. It was hard for him to trust.

He wasn't thinking. Wasn't thinking when he lifted his phone and tapped on it a few times.

“Hey, this is Lambert. Im letting you know I wont be making it in today. Im sorry.”

He hung up.

Did he really just do that?

‘lambert : hey, whats ur address?’

~~~~~~~~~

Dandelion looked just about ready to sob when he got in the car.

“I told you my performance is not until later.” Dandelion says, anxiously checking his surroundings. “I couldve- couldve arranged an uber. Or just not went. Its not really that important.”

This man was chronically insane. His ex slashes his tires in a location hes not supposed to know about? And he was just going to stay there?

“Clearly someone who isnt supposed to know you live here, well.. does. Its not safe for you to be here right now. We can… I dont know. Do you want to come to my place?” Lambert asked.

Dandelion shook his head no. He wasnt for Geralt knowing, wanting to avoid drama all together.

Lambert cracked open one of his redbulls, putting the car back in drive and pulling out of the driveway.

“Then, do you have parents to g-”

“No. Please, thank you, but no. Not them.” Dandelion says, clutching his seatbelt. “They don't really support my life right now.”

Lambert didn't need an explanation, driving down the road. He didn't have a girlfriend to waste money on, so he wasn't necessarily worried about wasting gas.

It was quiet for a bit, Dandelion giving himself a bit to calm down. When Lambert begins to question if they were going to talk at all, Dandelion speaks up.

“I like being a passenger princess. Being treated like royalty, which I deserve no less.” He says, smiling. “I am quite picky. Do you think you can keep up?”

Clearly, Lambert was really good at flirting with Dandelion before. It came naturally to him, flowing out of his mind like a river. So, clearly, he needed not to think before spewing out the best pick-up line you’ve ever heard,

“I- I uh- can, can keep you up.”

Okay that was bad. But rather worth it, if it weren't for the rupture of laughter that rang through the car.

“I'm focused on driving!” He exclaims, defensive manners strong in his words.

“You know, you and Geralt are similar.” Dandelion closes his eyes, and Lambert's heart drops. The shadow was back, coming for him, engulfing him, warming him and leading him astray. It was burning cold, sharp, an ache in his heart. A feeling he was tired, or even exhausted of. Geralt was a never-ending, constantly raising bar that he had to do hourly pullups on. Hourly reminders that he was not Geralt, the perfect golden child of the family.

“But you’re also so different. I'd go as far to say you’re nicer,” Dandelion starts, and Lambert's heart flutters. “And honestly? Better morals. More fun to be around. What im trying to say,” the shadow is shrinking, shiverling into a smaller fragment of what it once was, instead being replaced by the light that is this mans gorgeous fucking face, “I can definitely tell you were raised by the same man. But you’re also.. Your own person, and I like that.”

In the middle of the street, he put his car in park and grabbed both sides of Dandelions face, pressing his lips onto the soft, delicate lips of the sweet princess of sunshine he had sitting in the passenger seat of his car.. Dandelion climbs on top of him as they begin to make out.

Is what would happen if Lambert got everything he wanted. And if traffic laws were avoidable. And if he had tinted windows.

~~~~~~~~~

Dandelion was a performer, a rising one at that. Therefore, when Dandelion suggested he come watch his performance, there was no way in hell he could decline. He saw videos of him on almost any platform he had- covering songs, writing songs, his cute, smart little intros and outros. He was made to perform.

He was supposed to be covering a song today. It wasn't a concert or anything- he was hired to put on a show for an event at a club. It shouldn't be too crowded. It was a club, at 3pm. No way it’d be busy.

Boy was he wrong. Luckily, Dandelion was able to drag him to the front, right in the center. He winked and gave him a little wave, before he was off somewhere backstage.

Lambert stood there like a fool, a lost puppy if you will. He had never been the type for this, was not expecting this many people, and was overstimulated, and- holy shit, the lights just dimmed red. Like a deep, blood red.

There was a faint noise, like a sound kicking on. When music started, he visibly flinched. God, it was loud. The person next to them, seemingly recording, gave him a rather rude side eye.

The music stopped, and Dandelion walked out, wearing a rather oversized black sheer blouse- that fell perfectly over his porcelain shoulders.

“How are we doing tonight?” He says, smiling widely at the crowd in front of him.

The crowd just roared, causing Lambert to flinch again, but his body locked up when he made eye contact with Dandelion. The red lighting- a warm tone but god did Dandelion look so cold- sick as fuck.

“How am I?” He asked, pointing at himself. “Oh, I'm okay. I almost couldn't make it here. Valdo Marx slashed my tires.”

His ex was Valdo Marx? That ugly ass guy?

A loud set of ‘boo’s’ and ‘fuck him!’s’ ran through the crowd, as the beat started.

“Anyway, I decided to cover a Hozier song. You know, per request.” He winked.

“Just a little rush, babe.

To feel dizzy, to derail the mind of me.

Just a little hush babe,

Our veins are busy,

But my hearts in atrophy”

His eyes were wide. His heart was pounding. His heart rate was faster than the blue hedgehog in the games he’d play when he was little. The red lighting, his cheeky little intro about his ex. His even cheekier smile, the look of passion in his eyes.

Dandelion was a masterpiece.

“You and I, nursing on a poison that never stung,

Our teeth and lungs are lined with the scum of it,

Somewhere for this, death and guns

We are deaf, we are numb

Free and young and we can feel none of it”

Lambert realized the music really wasn't that loud anymore. No, it wasn't loud enough. Though still, with hands on the microphone stand, he was the best performer Lambert had ever seen. Okay, maybe he was a bit biased. That voice was a gift from heavy itself, though.

Why did he only now decide to pull out his phone and start recording? He didn't know. But he was.

“Something isn't right, babe

I keep catching little words,

But the meanings thin

Im somewhere outside my life, babe

I keep scratching but somehow, I can't get in

So we’re slaves to any semblance of touch,

Lord we should quit...

But we love it too much”

Dandelion seemed to see that Lambert was recording, and made direct eye contact with the man again. He watched as Dandelion’s hands ran up the microphone stand, slowly pulling the microphone out of its attachment, walking forward..

Slowly, Dandelion transitioned onto his knees, closer to the crowd. He held himself up with his free arm, his sheer blouse falling over his shoulder to reveal more of that porcelain skin to the needy, desperate people.

He was the so-called needy, desperate people.

“Darlin’, don't you, stand there watching,

Won't you

Come and save me from it?

Darlin’, don't you, join in, you’re supposed to

Drag me away from it.”

Now deciding to sit up, if anything he was leaning a little back, face full of emotion. He was too dumbfounded to read which emotion though. Just saw Dandelion, that pretty face, and pretty skin peeking through.

“Anyway to distract and sedate,

Adding shadows to the wall of the cave.”

Dandelion was able to pull off a mix of standing up and spinning as he repeated the chorus, singing with much more energy than the start. It probably had a word. Everything had a word. Lambert wasn't a master of music.

“I learned that song yesterday, just for you guys.” He said, winking. What comes next is a somehow, strangely handsome mixture between a pant and a laugh.

“I think I’m going to go to a gas station and get a redbull and some combos after this one, what about you guys?”

And as the cheer and roars erupt, he's stuck there.

Combos.

[impossiblewitchqueen]

Envy Is fucking killing me. I think so little of myself that i'm always compare every work i do, every moment i spend, every little thing about my body to the people around me. It doesn't matter if i take the highest score on tests, on my thesis or recieve compliments i still feel so damn inferior... And feeling like all the people around me are somehow so much better than me, this makes me so goddamn angry. Sometimes i Just want to scream. Rationally i know that this Is caused by the 10 Years of constant bulling, isolation and loneliness but after 4 Years of therapy i still struggle so much to accepte myself and recognize that i suffered so much Just because someone decide they could treat me like shit and get away with it. I'm so tired. i feel like im in this constant phase of almost drowing

Srry for the life rant.

[corvuscorona]

do u have any advice for switching to linux? im admittedly intimidated but so tired of windows ads.. and i've had to reinstall windows 3 times this year because updates have just. broke. so i'm done w all that.

takes your hand. the first step is getting so fed up with microsoft's bull shit that you start thinking to yourself "fuck, maybe I DO want to see what linux is about actually". and you are already there.

I typed a lot again but let me boil it down real quick so you know what you're getting into:

A "linux distribution" is an operating system, basically

Most of the common ones are easy to use now, tho ymmv with the Software You Need and what you use computers for

Start with a virtual machine; troubleshoot until delighted; install

Back your files up regularly so you can un-fuck-up if needed (<- general life advice, but very helpful here for peace of mind)

Windows : IKEA :: Linux : wood + hardware + tools. kinda.

here are 3 other things:

I'm not an expert I'm a very lost new user with a chainsaw and a can-do attitude

Experts don't generally keep the "new user" feeling close to their heart so what the fuck do they know about anything anyway

I don't know what you know so, like, bear with me.

...but also if you have more specific questions I'm around and hate my day job so feel extremely free to jump back into my inbox and be like "hey what the fuck is up with ___". or not. I typed so much.

anyway here's some stuff that would've helped me :3

ime, the most Intimidating thing about going from "god I hate the accursed Window" to "linux desktop user" is wrapping your head around what distros are. I overcame this hurdle by recklessly abusing duckduckgo and youtube, but you don't have to.

think of a "linux distribution" as an "operating system". there are one morbillion of them, but if you pick one out of the Big Fucking Pile you can download it, and it will be one (1) file that you can put on a USB drive, and then you can plug that USB drive into your Windows Machine and make the file install itself, and then the machine will have a new operating system. and if you don't like that one you can pick out a different one. off the pile. simple.

now that I have established this: you will have to Choose A Distribution. I have advice on this topic.

it is way easier to make the INSTALLING LINUX ON YOUR WHOLE COMPUTER jump if you use it in a virtual machine first. probably what this will teach you is that it mostly works like you expect a computer to work, but if you encounter any Problems, you can deal with them in your own time because your existing operating system is still right there. this tutorial will get you there. do not use ubuntu, though; use MX Linux. it is better. instead of "download an ubuntu image," go here and download one of these two mx linux images:

standard one (red) if your computer is old, or

"ahs" (blue) if your computer is not very old.

use your judgment. then proceed according to the tutorial, basically.

I am giving you direct instructions instead of general advice because linux is a vast landscape of choice paralysis, which is also one of the things that has tripped me up before. once you have Used Some Linux, you'll start to Learn which things you want to have be different, and once you have some Preferences you can start tailoring your whole situation. unlike the accursed Window, where you can think "I kind of hate windows explorer" and then spend all afternoon on reddit learning that other file explorers for windows TECHNICALLY EXIST but none of them do the stuff you want. anyway.

once you have a working VM of mx linux, here's some stuff to think about or do:

+ what's your impression of the desktop immediately after installing? click stuff and see if you hate anything or can't figure out how to do something simple you can just Do on windows. then go into the settings and see if you can change something you hate, or open firefox and look up how to do the thing you can't do. rinse repeat.

+ tbh maybe this is me being a little freak but I spent like hours collectively in the settings just messing around. there's a new thing in MX tools where you can change the colors of your folder icons to literally whatever color you want; click that. enjoy the unadulterated aesthetic power.

+ log into your mozilla account on firefox. if you don't have a mozilla account, make one and then log into it. if you're on chrome, import all your chrome shit into firefox and attach it to a mozilla account and then log into it on your regular OS and in the VM. now you can blog from linux.

+ (you can also install chrome if you want (I have it in case a website belligerently doesn't want to work on firefox + have had to use it for, like, bills or whatever once in a blue moon). or any other browser. set up your preferred stuff everywhere!! go download a desktop wallpaper!! download these images and put them on there. home sweet home.)

+ you will encounter inconveniences as you try to use the VM for your Everyday Computing Experience, mostly because all your shit is already set up and stored on your windows computer and you're gonna be like "fuck I need [file]" and it's kind of a pain in the ass to directly get files from a host onto a VM and cloud storage sucks and none of your stuff is where you expect it to be on the desktop etc etc etc. deal with this as it comes. idk, write stuff down. solve 1 problem at a time when you have spare time. your goal at this point should be "I can use the VM instead of my actual computer for everyday tasks". but you can get there slow.

+ if you run into something that you USE on windows and CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE OR REPLACE on linux, now you are asking the big questions. go down a research rabbithole about it.

here is where I start saying generalizations again:

linux will teach you to Find Solutions For Stuff. the difference btwn windows and desktop linux is that windows will be like "here's how it is. don't worry about it" and you can either go "okay <3 yay <3" or you can get pissed off and go see what linux is about. and linux will be like "well here's like the entire breadth of human UX proclivities and a lot of power tools; I'll be on the forums if you need me; good luck, champ" AND THAT'S AWESOME. p.s. keep the forums for your distro close at hand when troubleshooting. they do good work in there.

uh basically my advice is: step up to it. do not stop trying stuff. become a gun that's full of bullets that are questions, and eventually you WILL be A Linux User. also, write down any command line stuff you learn in like a notebook or whatever so you can remember it without looking it up again next time you need it.

here's one: "./filename.whatever" runs the file. this is useful for when you download something that's not in your distro's package manager and have to run it like it's an exe or something and there's just a .sh file in there and you don't know what that means. it means "right click the folder -> 'open terminal here' -> type './filename.sh' -> program is now running". here's another one: "~/" stands for your home folder. which is where all your stuff lives. on mx linux I can hit f4 to bring up the dropdown terminal, type "featherpad ~/Documents/linuxes\ advice.txt" and it'll open this document in the default text editor. the \ is an escape character so it knows you mean the space is part of the filename. now you're 1337 :)

finally: if and when you reach a point where you can do all your normal computer stuff on your virtual machine, back up ur files off your windows machine and do one of the following:

take a new image of your working copy of mx linux (mx tools can help you do this) and install that on The Real Machine

get a clean .iso of mx linux and install it and re-set it up from scratch. pg 17 of the user manual, "2.2.3 Create LiveMedium", will tell you how to set up the USB drive, btw.

pick a different distribution and install that.

if you are 100% happy with mx, fuck yeah keep it. if you want something shinier, may I suggest Garuda? I fucking love Garuda Linux with my life.

SECTION FOR IF YOU PLAY GAMES ON YOUR COMPUTER BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THIS:

if you play games, during your "what do I do with this VM" phase, go get them + try to run them. if you play games via steam, the store page for a game will have a "system requirements" field for linux if the game runs natively on linux. it usually says "ubuntu" but that doesn't actually mean you have to be running ubuntu; try it anyway. if the game does not run natively on linux, you can go into the game's settings and go to compatibility and "force the use of a compatibility tool" and a lot of the time that will just work ("proton experimental" is fine, or whatever the newest one is). if you have trouble, go protondb you and see what people have said about running the game. IF A GAME HAS MULTIPLAYER MAYBE GO TO PROTONDB FIRST and check to see whether anyone says anything about anticheat; this is the only thing that can have actual permanent consequences (sometimes anticheats will trigger if you try to use workarounds that let you run a game on linux). you can also look up a specific game on the r/linux_gaming subreddit; they are very helpful sometimes.

I'm officially out of arguably relevant sentences now, but I hope this helps some. Linux is fun + I like it a lot; you should try it !!!