#im just saying. why TO ME?
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legitimate question ....... why do people like to tell me all the reasons they don't like miraculous ladybug? i know i complain about the fact a lot, and i find myself on the defensive a lot, and i keep telling myself i'll stop and let it go, but it really is hard when people are always coming onto my posts, in my replies, in my comments, on my art and my fics and my text posts and anything i make, and telling me blatantly all the ways that they don't like the thing that i so blatantly find enjoyment in. "the show is bad". okay? good for you? why are you on my post about it? why don't you make your own? why are you telling me, specifically, this, on the art/fic/analysis i made that i assume you found by searching through the tag?
it's kind of a behavior that i legitimately don't understand. I'm a human being and I hate a lot of things, too. there are things i've loved at first and been disappointed by and have strong opinions about. there are things i like to complain about. so i'll complain about them to my friends or my family or my cat. but i have never, once, not even for a single moment, thought, "oh let me go into the tags of this media, find a positive post about it written by someone who's having fun with it, and make it that random stranger's problem". never once.
i just don't get it. i really don't get it. i sometimes worry that i come across like i'm heavily critical of people who just personally don't like the show, when really i'm just trying to defend my interests to the droves of strangers who are always coming specifically to me to tell me all the ways they hate the thing that makes me happy.
just.......... why? where does the urge come from? what do you get out of this?
#i remember there was a poll a while back asking people if they thought it was ok to tell ml fan creators that you hate the show unprompted#and 'yes' won#and i am still baffled by that#why is this normal?#why would you even want to?#why is it impossible to be an artist/creator on the internet without having to deal with people bitching and moaning in your ear about the#things that you are dedicating your time and energy into for fun?#why is this the acceptable online culture?#you don't have to like the show. im not saying that. im not saying you cant complain or vent#im just saying. why TO ME?#buggachatter
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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learning that self deprecation isnt cool and just makes the people around you uncomfortable unironically improved my mental health a lot. like if you just stop saying negative shit about yourself you will genuinely like yourself more and other people wont be repulsed by your attitude and you will have more friends. it's true.
#people will fr go ''god im such an ugly loser LOL i suck at everything i do and i should just kms“#and then go “why does no one want to be around me”#maybe because your attitude sucks. maybe because i said 'those mean things you say about yourself arent true'#and you spent five minutes arguing with me about how im wrong.#00
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calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.
#nonbinary love#nblnb yearning#nb4nb#nblnb#wholesomeposting#yearning hours#ive been thinking about how some languages dont have a possessive tense#so you dont say “i have a thing” but rather “a thing is by me”#and like im not usually one for psycho linguistics and like critical thoughts etc etc etc#but i really like the framework of responsibility/commitment rather than ownership#i think about this mostly in terms of ecology#and relation to land#but i also love it as it applies to language shared between lovers#like i LOVE calling them mine or for them to call me theirs#but i'm also nonmonog and that was kinda weird to square for a while#and it clicked one time when i was talking about my neighborhood and i was like well#when i say my neighborhood or my city it's understood i'm not taking it away from anybody else#its understood i just mean the city where i live#so why cant we apply the same to lovers?#mine in the way i want to show up for you again and again#ok#done now
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when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess
#book 22#im verh drunk#hi#greatest hits#not really sure why this one resonated. are u all ok#is everyone just at the shiva#yall need to stop saying you arent gonna eat then in the tags#i love that a lot of you are getting beautiful things out of this#but some of yall need to know i wrote this while incredibly drunk#this isnt meant to be all that deep this is just shitty iliad posting#more comments like this is just judaism. surprise surprise im jewish#but again this isnt about sitting shiva#this is me drunk talking about the last 3 books of the iliad#idk what to tell u man#legendary warrior
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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Alt routes aside:
#crawling says LEAVE MY GIRLFRIEND ALONE SOB#gap has no reason to be so op he's sus#me and the mod team joke about that one line where adami says: i'm just a human! (cute girl)#idk why the (cute girl) is so funny#it's so unecessary#and then she says: could it be he likes me bc im a cute girl??#LIKE GIRL#homicipher
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alternate apocalypse ending or something who the hcrist knows anymore
#mcu#xmen movies#xmen#xmen apocalypse#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#almost posted this to the wrong blog omg i wouldve thrown up#this dumb as hell forgive me chat#unrelated i thought today was sunday but no it's. 4AM saturday THAT MEANS ITS CHERIK POSTING TIME#i thought of binning this like five times but ive convinced myself i like enough of this to keep it#at the very least im making myself chortle at the mini charles in the corner. like yeah that about summarizes it donnit#anyway the reason why we're here. highkey just wanted charles to grab his waist SORRY#and this was the first thing i thought of so. Apocalypse But Erik Directs The Ending jvlkeajl#my god i was gonna say something else but. i forgot#oh wait no i remember hold on. uhhh something something charles shouldve fought harder or whatever erik said in dofp#dofp IS before apocalypse i know this but it applicable. probably. im not gonna think bout it on whats essentially a shitpost#ok im sleeping now bye. ive got more doodles i wanna do but my god im sleepy. or at least i should sleep
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wrestling to be the first to greet you (they broke into your house)
#null rot#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#they say it doesnt matter who gets greeted first but then go into a full out brawl to be the first.... they probably break things and then#fight again to be the second who gets greeted and then again for third.. an.d. again for fourth... then one more time for-#GYAHHHHHHHH#LIKE BRO THEY JUST LOOK LIKE THE TYPE TO FIGHT OVER YOU#THEY FIGHT NORMALLY LIKE SIBLINGS BUT THEY RAKE IT A STEP FURTHER CAUSE THEY'RE DEMONS BUT IT'S NORMAL TO THEM#AND WHY IS ZOHA THE STRONGEST???? YOUNGER = STRONGER????? PHYSICALLY?????? IM SEEING IT THAT WAY#IN THAT CASE ITD MAKE SENSE SINCE THE OLDEST IS HANTENGU HIMSELF..... AND HES...... HIM#i always see sekido losing wrestling battles and Aizetsu being the one to win if its pure strength alone#bUT if theyre playing dirty i can see the turning tables...... but maybe thats for another day....#GYAH FUCK THE POWER SCALING BETWEEN THE FOUR BRO I NEED TO KEEP GOING#THESE MFS ARE TESTING MY ABILITIES WITH HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TO KEEP DRAWING THEM...#FOR NOW LOOK HOW MUCH THEYRE DUMBASSES#and yes. the crotch shot to urogi was intentional on aizetsu's part. hes so subtle mean girl coded to me
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very straightforward redraw because this quest and this whole scene have been ON my mind.
#fenhawke#fenris#hawke#garret hawke#dragon age 2#da2#dragon age#da2 fanart#dragon age fanart#itseart#im sure everything that can be said about this scene has been said but ohh my god.#obviously its funny that fenris says that and then we get this long silent cut of mage hawke with his big wet puppy eyes#before fenris gets overwhelmed and leaves#but like the self loathing in the statement? thats the meat#at least thats how i interpreted it#im right at the end of act two right now. i love their messy relationship.#and i just played the legacy dlc and brought fenris with me... he's so charmingly awkward in between the horrors#“thank you for... bringing me along again hawke”#“why wouldnt i? the more the merrier”#“i just.. am pleased. to see you :)”#varric hitting him with the ooookay gay boy HELLP#the shading on hawke's clothes is lackluster i lost steam around that point lmao#EDIT: forgot to image describe now its up
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Despite everything, it's still you.
#kieran#pokemon#sorry i know this is badly formatted but i only really made it for personal reasons but then thought hey maybe someone else might need this#yes im sorry the first image having a different outfit bugs me so much but it's the only one i had in my screenshots with that expression#why am i even saying sorry JUST TAKE THIS IF YOU LIKE IT and if you don't... bye#hello if you're reading the tags
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glassblowing rules because it's like one of the single most hardcore and impressive processes in the entire art world yet almost everything you make with it looks lame as hell. it's essentially a form of smithing that only produces neglected gift shop tchotchkes.
#DSICLAIMER: i know some blown glass stuff can look very cool and be impressive#i know saying this in the tags wont stop someone inevitably writing me an essay on why im wrong about glass blowing#i just think a lot of what it makes really isnt my style.
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Thanks.
Prev
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop nature au#fop dev#fop dale#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#comic#The 'Thanks' after all of that makes me so insane Im not even sure I can fully articulate why#I mean. He got what he wanted. Honesty. Thats what you wanted right Dev?#what else do you say to that#He's spent his whole life being sure he knew the answer. That deep DEEP down dale did love him#Have you ever seen that post thats like“I was bawling my eyes out and somebody told me to shut up and I was so taken aback I stopped crying#I think he was so stunned that he just stopped crying.#or like when you get so upset that your feelings turn themselves off to protect you#is that a normal thing that happens to people Erm. anyway#Sorry lol as someone born to parents who.. should not have had me. Writing dale basically admitting as much is actually really cathartic#He shouldnt have had Dev. He doesnt love him. He cant. Dev cant do anything to change it. Its just a fact.#Hes not 1:1 with my parents they tried their best ig but like. their best was still pretty awful child neglect LOL
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mating press is so objectively ugly ... embarrassing
#why was i looking this up on images and ninja mutant turtle inc*st was like the fourth image??? ummmmm ok#anyway it's still happening i just dont like thinking abt what it looks like from far away#i prefer it when its not so......... x shaped? i guess#i like it better when it's more... ankles by ears man is kneeling#IM JUST SAYING#ive gravitated back to my weird toji + kids au lmaooo#cuz i made a cake today and it got me thinking abt it#when will i write something of substance please#caitie blabs
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hurt my heart why dontcha.
#adventure time#fionna and cake#fionna and cake spoilers#simon petrikov#BMO#this is seriously fucked up u cant do this to me im so sadSNSSN#IMAGINE BEING BMO#just one day finn and jake say they'll brb and they're going on a important mission...#and BMO after this and them being gone for awhile just see's the world go into peril#death everywhere. no sign of his friends expect remnant's of the past..#and the only survivor is them...#no other's expect the thing who released hell upon this once lively and colorful world in the first place.#and BMO just accept's this...tells themselves that they're still around...cosplay's as they're old friend's...this is fucked up#in the current timeline all his friend's are gone to natural circumstances.#but for this one? it was too early. too sudden. atleast in this one BMO will remember they're name's but...man.#this poor lil robo cant get a BREAK.#AND THEY FUCKING DIE IN SACRIFICE AT THE END TOO SHUTUPPPDPDPDPD#and the fact BMO also consider's “jerry” a friend...not knowing...that the same person caused all this.#this is...SO FUCKED UP#WHY MUST THE SHOW WRITERS DO THIS TO MY HEART.
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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