#im just a femme with a passion what can i say

[living-dead-dyke]

not to be a leather dyke (im kidding , im absolutely being a leatherdyke) but god. when i get disposable income it is OVER for yall. saving up to get some stuff from various leatherworkers i have saved

[butevrythinggoesaway]

"hE dOeSN't SoUnd LIke a tEEnaGeR" NOT ALL FUCKING TEENAGERS SOUND LIKE TODDLERS JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. THEY GAVE HIM THE VOICE BECAUSE OOH FUNNY MEME MAN MILES, GWEN AND PENI ARE VOICED BY ADULTS THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEIR CHARACTERS ARE

Sorry I'm having a fucking Lou moment

Unpopular opinion but I don't think Nicholas Cage was the best option for Noir's voice

[flirtatiousfemme]

How would you describe an ideal partner? What are yiur red flags/absolute no’s?

this ended up being pretty long so sorry in advance haha definitely doesnt even cover all of it

in terms of ideal traits physically definitely stronger than me is a big thing for me. taller would be nice too but not necessary since im usually the taller one. ideally someone pretty masc or butch. futch is good too and not opposed to femme rn (considering going completely femme4butch but not yet). i love when someone has pretty eyes. i dont rly have preferences for like hair color or eye color or things like that i have a small preference for other bipoc ppl tho my last gf was white and thats like fine i could definitely marry someone who is but it is a slight preference

definitely someone who takes a dominant/top role im pretty exclusively a sub and bottom. i like when someone a little possessive/clingy im definitely kinda like that too i want us to be like that with each other. also ideally someone who takes interests in the things i like (movies, books, music, food/cooking, travel, etc) we dont need exactly the same interests but i wanna be able to talk about the things i find fascinating and have them genuinely listen and care.

personality wise being funny is a big one for me im always making jokes and i like having someone to banter with. smart too is great not necessarily super book smart but like i wanna have deeper conversations about things and learn about things together. wanting to have kids is a big thing for me too im flexible on number tho as long as its more than one. i also love when ppl can speak another language like ill learn it for u so we can speak it together and id love if someone else learned my second language too idk its fun to know each others languages and to be able to talk in a second language in public so nobody rly knows what ur saying haha. i also rly love when ppl are passionate about things and have things theyre super into and teach me about them. i find that rly attractive. im also rly affectionate and want my partner to be too i wanna compliment them and have them compliment me

for red flags/hard nos id say ppl who havent like grown up? like im not ur mom dont make me act like ur mom. if u cant like clean up after urself or contribute to chores at all then thats a pretty hard line. its one thing if they take more of the provider role and i take the homemaker role thats fine but ive dated ppl who did basically nothing and im not doing that again. weaponized incompetence too is a hard no. same with polyamory like im fine being fwb with someone poly but long term im looking for monogamy thats a hard line for me. another pretty hard no for me is someone closeted/ashamed of being a lesbian like if ur not holding my hand in public or i have to be a "friend" around ur family like thats not happening for me. im a big pda person and if u cant show u love me around the ppl in ur life we wont last.

stuff thats less like base level is like someone who doesnt pay attention to me when im talking? like if theyre constantly on their phone when im trying to talk to them and having to repeat myself a lot that rly bothers me. ppl who cant like commit to plans also that bothers me if we're planning on going to see a movie i wanna go see the movie. also on vacations im a huge planning/itinerary person and ill put in enough of like rest time but if we're in a fun new place i wanna follow the itinerary we made and go to the museums and go try new foods i dont wanna just sleep in and kinda waste our time there. it kinda ties into when i cant rely on someone thats a problem for me like i need to know ur there for me when it counts and like can also be responsible when it matters. like making big financial decisions without talking to me especially like bad ones is a problem for me like its great to spend money on enjoying ur life but also being a little reasonable is important too (goes back to the mom thing dont make me play the mean one role bc u cant control ur spending habits)

[hellorai]

I’m more afraid of falling in love with someone then never loving again

Like I see the phrase “I’m scared to love again” or some version of that a lot and I use to feel that. Then I found my correct wording to express all of my emotions; I’m afraid to give another piece of me to someone and try to build something get it sent back for whatever valid or invalid reasons and rebuild that part of myself again. We’ve been over this on her I’m intense and I’m not blaming any partner for that but fuck I’m tired. Im passionate and intense and I’m clear about that if we’re gonna for real talk or date and everyone seems to understand and be cool with it but then im too much or something and it just hurts because now I overthink and over check my emotions (on top of this I do have emotional problems which is why I don’t immediately point fingers) but then im pushed to open up and be free with them then it’s too much like fuck pick one!! I’m tryna pace with people and give grace but I never get that back but I truly don’t get interest back??

It doesn’t help in a lot of ways I’m not looked at as feminine but the part I want to really talk about it my directness. Yes I want to be asked out and yes I want to be courted but I’m not gonna be some uber demure girl with you if I know I like you and you like me! I’m gonna say I like you and directly flirt and since I’m not a mean femme it’s such a turn off for so many people. Like I’ll ask for boundaries, I’ll ask if this is okay and I get a go ahead and get ghosted or we have the conversation then get ghosted. I’m tired of my personality being a reason for people to flee…

Femmes can look and act like anything and that means direct and knowing what we want! It just sucks y’know, I hope some other direct femme sees this and knows that they aren’t alone. I just feel so detached from femmehood (femme womanhood or femme livelihood) because I don’t feel feminine no matter what I do it just doesn’t feel natural especially because I’m black and darker and the stigmas around that, knowing that if I looked different I’d be treated and view myself differently. I think I’m beautiful that’s not the problem here and I know I’m feminine without me dressing up and being “soft” because that’s not all femininity is but FUCKKKK it’d be nice to see myself on those spaces because I am soft I just also have big emotions and I’m direct and I’m tough.

Back to the topic of love this isn’t me saying I don’t love myself either because I do it’s more I feel unloveable and I went through a recent situation and it made me feel that someone could genuinely love me or care for me but it wasn’t real y’know that connection but the idea behind someone feeling that way for me was? It’s just a time thing and I’ll get there, I’m just tired of being alone and feeling unlovable

Hope this makes sense cause it’s an unedited rant and my feelings and ego hurts a bit rn😁

[brattyfemmebaby]

Do you think it’s a good decision for me to make my goal to become a historian of lesbian fashion or maybe anthropologist of lesbian fashion? It’s been my dream since high school but now I’m in college and I’m doubting I’ll be able to make money in the lesbian academic world and that’s a scary decision to try to make. Asking you cause you’re the only lesbian academic in a similar field I think to the one I want to go in to that I know of.

hey sorry this got lost in my ask box and i’m just now seeing it!!

i wish I could say “go for it!” but unfortunately the answer is yes but also no. Let me explain. I think your goal is absolutely wonderful!! definitely shoot for that but understand the likelihood of developing a career doing only lesbian fashion history will be difficult. this also totally hinges on if you want to be faculty and teach or do something else. also remember that working in education means low paid jobs in general.

for me, my career in student affairs was not only deeply fulfilling but allowed me to do my butch/femme and other research work on the side- taking speaking gigs to supplement my income. my bachelors degrees are in photography/graphic design and sociology with a gender studies focus. my masters is in student affairs. i spent ages 19-31 working in and later running diversity programming while making very little money. just this year i was able to leave higher education and start public speaking and consulting full time. that means i had to build my name up in the lecture circuit for about 10 years before it became sustainable! keep in mind that i run a generalized DEI consulting firm and that is what pays my bills- not the butch/femme work that is my true passion. shameless plug but hey yall book me at your college to come talk butch/femme stuff!!

your best bet is to diversify your academic specialization. i can only use myself as an example so obviously you’d do this in your own way (also note i intentionally decided not to become faculty but to work in student affairs); i am a butch/femme expert BUT also publish research on rural lgbt college student development, am a DEI public policy expert, have published white papers aiding institutions in structuring diversity centers to actually serve students, and in the last few years, i became a grant administrator and expanded my area of specialty to include creating DEI initiatives for marginalized student athletes. all that was work i enjoyed but wasn’t the what im most passionate about. this cultivated variety of skills allows me to be marketable much more easily than “butch/femme expert” would.

so, yes! focus on lesbian fashion, but ensure you have another skill. for example if you go the faculty route, write your dissertation on your area of interest but ensure you’re on another research team for something more general and be ready to teach anthropology 100 for many years before you can teach a special topics course on lesbian fashion and while you write a book on the topic. there’s SO much more specific advice i’d be happy to offer if you want to dm me because it all depends on what way you want to track it.

side note;i’ve followed Eleanor Medhurst on tiktok and her website for a long time and read her first book, Unsuitable: A History of Lesbian Fashion this summer. definitely look at their work and reach out because she may have great connections to share!

sorry this was so long! hope it helps in some way!!

[70spunkstars]

✭𝑷𝑨𝑮𝑬 𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑶✭

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𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒚.... ✭ 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .

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𝑷𝑼𝑵𝑲𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑺 ™️★🎸🕷️⋆｡ °⋆

_________________________________________

Welcome to our page, a dedication to the awesome Black Punk, Hobie Brown. This black-reader focused space is everything about Hobie and no character else. We will post fics, art, memes, and headcannons related to/ about him. So drop suggestions on what you would like to see, we hope to see you around. xoxo

We won’t be posting strictly Hobie content, though he will be our main focus. Other things we might post about will be included in a section of our DNI list so PLEASE read that before continuing to consume our content !! Anyone with a problem will be blocked immediately. No back and forth.

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DNI

MLoML

✭ 𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑶𝑺✭

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𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑨𝑴, 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑷𝑴...✭𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .

Blue🕸️

Hii everyone! I’m Blue, one of the two PunkStars™️ that uses this account. I use he/she/they pronouns and am femme presenting. I am also an African American/Soulaani ! So aside from Hobie content if you see anything that looks American, it’s because I am one 💀 (unfortunately).

Before I start my introduction I’d like to point out that this is our first time posting on tumblr in general, let alone writing. We mostly consume instead of producing content on tumblr so we’re learning as we go lol.

I’ll be doing most of the writing on this account to start off. You’ll know whenever I posted something because the title of the post will be in blue lettering or I’ll put my emoji “🕸️” at the end of the post. When using our “ask me” and addressing me directly you can just say so or write your message in purple so it’s easier for me to respond to.

I’ve been writing since I was quite young and so art of all kinds has always been a very strong passion for me, probably because I’m neurodivergent and it’s my special interest, so I like to mix art with my hyperfixations (this one being Hobie Brown). Hobie’s character is so special to me and when I first heard about him through tiktok I Instantly fell in love- not because of his looks (though he is fine as fuck 🌚) but because of his personality and how much I resonate with him so I cannot wait to start writing about him and interacting with the rest of the fandom ! <33

(Sorry for the long ass intro)

RED 🕷

Yolo, Im Red the other PunkStar account user. I use all pronouns, Im NB presenting and I am ghanian-american . I will being making most of the art on our page and I will be using red lettering or the emoji "🕷" at the end of my posts.

Like my partner ive also been doing art and writing for a long time (just more art), so when the ITSV/ATSV came out, like every other artist I was hooked. Seeing POC presented in different fashion aesthetics is a boost of mine so seeing Hobie Brown for the first time made me fold immedietely. I cannot wait for this acc to bloom and hopefully gain friends on this platform in the future. See you around 😋.

We will be making a DNI list very soon after this post so please please PLEASE read that before you even think about following this account 😭

Anyone who is apart of the DNI list will immediately be blocked !!

[pirunika]

ok. i need to compare Astraeus (Lovestruck) to Blade (WIP - Shepherds of Haven) bc as i was trying to make them on Black Desert Mobile i noticed they r pretty similar in... looks

both black haired / eyed with a sort of cropped hairstyle (one is 5'9 and the other is 6'3" tho)

both swordsmen

both given an east Asian... design. I mean Astraeus downright uses a katana as his main weapon and his theme is cherry flowers (which...i still don't know why as he s a Greek mythological figure but *shrug* im used to it now), Blade less so I suppose, i mean his last name is apparently a Welsh name but its just... here and there you get the sense that's the main inspiration for his culture - food, words, style whatever - which i dont like, tbh, making the emotionless, brutal species Like That but I can head-canon around it all I like its the canon (for now) world-building

this i like :D 1 is from an app that shut down.. like 2 years ago and the other is from a WIP work, not all out yet

both have older brothers, though Astraeus surely suffered more in his hands, having served him for years if not decades and it ends with a death... We dont know what that particular thing gonna go with Blade but I think it wont be that brutal.

Both sort of leaders, Astraeus is to titan army (or whats left of it more like) and Blade to Shepherds militia.

THEIR RELATIONSHIP W THE MC: Astraeus pretty much starts in love with the MC, he's low-key a stalker (i mean high key he did kidnap her...) and they have this... connection. Immediately. With Blade... it's... so not that. It's a slow process. Just as strong but slow and steady against.. whatever the fuck was up with Astraeus at one point (and yall kno he s my #1)

Astraeus is very chaotic, the MC says at one point chaos 'thrives within him' (or around him) he's a titan god after all and Blade is.. once again. Not that. Astraeus wears his heart on his sleeve. That's my favorite thing about him actually, he's one of the closest examples I saw to the male femme fatale idea. He's seductive and emotional and acts according to his heart. Blade falls a bit dull against that because we just have…. too many of the emotionless warrior guys, though I gotta give its due, he does his category well - say.. compared to Adam from Wayhaven Chronicles (and there I do love Ava, I know they are the same person but listen almost no female character is Like That) and you can tell he starts caring for the mc - obviously, which makes him much more appealing then the rest of the so called macho guys.

Astraeus is a poet. Blade points out he likes reading poetry. Does he write? I don't know but its surely not a corner of his personality I feel

They also both like gardening, once again Astraeus is more passionate about it, growing a tree in a land where nothing grows (Tartarus) Blade mentioned it but it's not like.. his thing - so far

Overall this made me realize maybe we don't know Blade well, despite the countless asks n everything or that he needs a certain.. something. Not everyone has to be passionate and emotional of course but like uhm... He's a bit too perfect and bland, WHICH is maybe his flaw I mean other characters do call him boring and dour and again the story is far from over so we'll see!

[rryeongchaes]

we’re aware of ryeong being the perfect princess for ryeji, BUTTT how would their dynamic work if chaeryeong was an alpha? or how would chaeryeong be as an alpha in dlc? how would they work (or if they even work) as an alpha trio? idk im just thinking 🫠

hope ur having a great week so far!!

<🐞3

hmmm interesting, so i think i’ve establish dlc enough to solidly that bonds can (and catz’s especially) extend beyond abo roles and tradition.

I would be inclined to say that it would still work the same, and they’d still make it work, all three of them would still get together, but it wouldn’t be as smooth? like i could see ryury being and getting together actually taking a much more difficult road than the one they took in dlc

that being said, chaeryeong as an alpha…listen i love femme ryeong with a burning passion but the 5% she goes more masc (e.g algorhythm airport fit) makes me so incredibly weak.. honestly the thought of alpha chaeryeong makes me kinda unwell because i know for a fact this woman will be so hot and frankly unstoppable? not only when she’s exercising that femme aspect but also the more masc aspects of a traditional alpha. idk what that actually entails but i feel like if she were a alpha, she’d play into the playboy stereotype just because she can?

maybe i’ll have more thoughts in the future, but yes, tdlr: alpha chaeryeong… (take me please)

(for ref the algorhythm fit:)

[thundrgrnd]

Shalom

whats ur sun,moon,rising, mercury, venus, and north node?

cancer sun, scorpio moon, aries rising, gemini mercury & venus, and north node in virgo.

where are you currently based out of?

fairfax, va.

what is the culture of your family?

interdependent in deed even not in word. im a middle child of five kids. we believe in community and being there for each other however we can be.

describe the impact that your heritege has had on your mediums?

living as a third culture kid who was born in the us to nigerian parents, moved to South Africa, raised there, and then moved back to the US has done a number on my brain, but for the most part it has opened my mind to the different ways everything comes back to community - its all about love, honesty, vulnerability. i try to be as transparent as possible in my work and really say what i mean.

list all of your creative disciplines?

all?????

writing, singing & songwriting, bass guitar, crochet.

how long have you practiced each?

forever, since i was a child, since 2020, started crochet as a child but picked it up again when i was in the psych ward.

what drives you?

impacting others. sharing the human experience.

what are you passionate about?

is it lame if this is also impacting others and sharing the human experience?

who in your personal life and the artistic world has had a profound influence on your work?

my mom: she is honest and true, a golden human. we’re honest in different ways about different things, but she inspires me to come as i am and ease off the pressure i put on myself.

florence and the machine: the first cd i ever bought and loved was between two lungs (deluxe) in 2010. the writing, the imagery, the vocals, the delivery altogether inspires me the same way it did when i was 12. i still listen to that album, although i have it on vinyl now.

lcd sound system: making noise and saying shit and being like “ok, this rocks” is basically how i would like my music making experience to go, they make it seem possible.

what is your greatest accomplishment thus far?

playing my first show in new york where we finished the set and got asked for an encore. i was like, “we have no more songs!” and they were like “play concrete again!” and everyone was chanting my name at the end. brain melting. never forgetting that one. idk if that counts as greatest accomplishment, though - i think surviving 2023 takes the top spot.

current profession?

i am a musician and marketing and communications coordinator at a health equity nonprofit.

where do you see yourself in the foreseeable future of 5 and then 10 years?

5 years: hopefully debt free, maybe having released a couple more albums, hair long.

10 years: i can’t think this far out man. i thought i wouldn’t make it past 17 for a long time so now thinking about the future is kinda mind melting.

who would you like to collaborate with?

people who love me back and mean it. anyone who’s willing to hear me out. anyone who believes in the collective and community as the answer to capitalism. basically, if we’re on the same frequency, let’s make shit.

what does creative expression mean to you?

recently it’s been trying to be nonjudgmental in how my artistic practice takes shape. just appreciating myself as an artist and recognizing my attempts at making good art are still shows of me making art, period. showing up as myself and letting whatever comes out come out.

what does it mean to be a woman or non binary earthling of color in america?

to fight some system every day.

what does it mean to be a femme or non binary artist of color in america?

to fight a different kind of system every day.

how has this created a barrier in your life and career?

being new to music i was definitely swept off my feet by a record label who ended up withholding money from me and refused to help me during a desperate period of time. i strongly believe that i would not have been treated the way i was if i was not a black woman.

what does creating revolutionary change in the word through art mean to you?

showing up as myself and committing to doing it every day. it’s one thing at a time. loving harder despite it all.

where should we start in dismantling the mechanisms of oppression across the globe?

with your friends. if they aren’t with it, find new ones.

what do you want to see in the creative world now, and in future generations?

more people finding their voice, more people leaning into the fact that art existed for tens of thousands of years before agriculture. we thought it was more important to paint than it was to feed ourselves efficiently, and i’m not saying we need to forget to eat but sustaining ourselves off art, returning to a life of practice… i’d love to see it.

what communitiy do you most resonate with currently?

those who identify themselves to be both lovers and fighters.

bisexual. bi as in one and another, instead of one of two. all genders are welcome at this party.

where can we find your work?

[pcpulr]

" i get it. it's not easy being confronted by a stranger and not knowing their intentions." svea dealt with a lot of kids at her work where talking to new people or venting to someone they didn't know was hard. it's not to say that daxton needed to be treated like a kid, they just had a similar experience and knew how to approach it. " you know, it's funny how you say it was all about ashton." after what ashton had told them, it was a different story. " ashton felt the same way about you. they had thought that everything was about you and that you were acting out to seek out attention." she told them. " i don't think you're a monster, dax. i just think you weren't given the proper guidance to release all that energy and anger you had within you. when all that gets pent up, you burst. that's what happened, wasn't it? this definitely isn't to excuse your actions but i can see why it had happened." the femme hummed softly at daxton's question. " it's hard to say. usually when ash keeps their word they mean it. however, i have been talking to them, or at least trying to, get them to move on. forgive you even. having all this grudge inside of you is not healthy. sometimes people really have to be in a deep fuckin' hole to realize that they had messed up and it's gonna be a long time to climb out that hole." seeing the items daxton had placed on the table warmed her heart. mostly the picture of them and carmen. they were so young in it. carmen really was not lying when she had said her and dax were real young when they got together. the sobriety chip was just solid proof that they were trying. she picked up the chip and ran her thumb over it, smiling at daxton. " i know im just a stranger to you, but im proud of you daxton. this is something to be celebrated." she placed down the chip to pick up the polaroid to look at it. " im glad you have carmen to look after you and be there by your side. she really loves you, you know? and you can imagine how ash feels protective over her." she placed the polaroid down to give daxton her full attention. " but carm, she would die for you. she has been defending you to ash. carm and i both want the same thing and that is for ash to talk to you." there was a pang in her stomach upon hearing daxton almost overdosed. knowing what she knew about ash when it came to their twin, ash would have been devastated, especially with not speaking to them in so long. " i think...you should be the one to tell them that. " svea suggested. she looked over at carmen again then back at dax. there was a glimmer of happiness in daxton's eyes. there was love, passion, and warmth. " i can't make any promises but i will try my best with ashton. hearing what you had to say made a difference."

simply seeing carmen look back at them, catching her eye, daxton's body eased, offering her a smile. even when they'd had doubts about meeting svea, she was the one that believed they could do it, that it could be good for them. daxton shook their head, not wanting the woman to think she was making them uncomfortable, "you're not making me uncomfortable, i just have a nervous tic." a tic brought on by the reminder of what they had done to ashton, something they wished they were able to change or erase but they couldn't. something that overwhelmed them. they understood, svea was just wanting to hear their side of things and informing them of ashton's feelings, none of which a surprise. "it's all just a little overwhelming, it'll stop eventually."

the woman's words sparked daxton's curiosity, clearly there was much more to the story than carmen had told them when speaking about the pair but they wouldn't push for information. it was something that would come eventually. "i just know how they acted towards carmen when they had the same conversation but you're right, i'm sure you can handle them." to daxton, svea seemed like someone who could hold their own and challenge ashton when they needed it, something that again, didn't surprise daxton that their twin had been drawn to the woman.

as svea began to talk about her daughter, it took daxton by surprise. they were relieved to hear that it hadn't reached the point that it had for them. they couldn't help but wonder if they hadn't fallen in with the wrong crowd throughout high school, if they would have taken the same path. they wouldn't have known how good it made them feel, how easy it was to just forget all their problems, how the pain just went away, the thoughts in their head dispersing. "i know what it's like to feel that angry all the time, it's intense. i still feel it burning inside me. she needed an outlet for her emotions and that's why she acted the way she did. it's what i did as a kid and as a teenager. i think i thought if i acted out, my parents would notice me, would care, y'know? they never did, not in the slightest. everything was always about ashton, at least it was until they kicked us out. i'm not saying it was the same for your daughter, that was just my experience." there was something about the way svea had spoken that opened a space for them to speak about their experiences without being direct, felt as if she could be trusted, even with just a small amount of information.

listening to svea, daxton's brow furrowed in confusion, wondering if it had something to do with what had been mentioned earlier, the hurdle in her relationship with their sibling. the difference between nia and daxton was their actions truly hurt those around them. as the woman's hand fell to their wrist, they became nervous, worried that ashton could walk through the door at any moment and assume things about them. "do you think there is a chance that even if they don't forgive me, they can move on?" maybe svea held the key to having ashton be willing to meet with them, even if both svea and carmen needed to be in the room with them. "i appreciate that. i'm not the monster they think i am, i'm just fucked up and a little broken."

there was so much that ashton didn't know about parts of their life, how bad things truly got for them mentally, the emotions, the abandonment, the neglect, their struggles at school. they offered a tight lipped half smile and nodded, "i have, they really help me. i've taken carmen a to a couple of meetings, being back here, it's highly triggering for me so i go every second night or so at the moment." they reached into their pocket, pulling out the contents, placing it on the table, the aged polaroid with carmen and the sobriety chip which they held up, "nine months." they were proud of themself, even if it wasn't something they outwardly showed, they knew they still had so far to go. fighting the addiction was going to be a battle for the rest of their life but they had people worth fighting for.

being so close to death, changed them. the idea of not seeing carmen ever again or ashton haunted them. "ashton doesn't know i overdosed, that i almost died. i don't know how they would react but i think you should know that for them." daxton knew they had opened up much more than they had intended to but there were things svea needed to know and she was practically family now. they found themselves focusing once more on their lover behind the counter as she interacted with customers, "i want to be better not just for me but for her, mostly for her. she's the one thing that has kept me going, kept me alive. i'm not letting her down again and if that means accepting and seeking professional help every day for the rest of my life, if needed, i'll do that."

[1111jenx]

Hi! Can we get some tea on scorpio mars women? 🔥😉

Scorpio Mars Women⚡️

for more posts like this check out my masterlist yall

Scorpio mars women is too hot to handle and i think that pretty sums everything up LOL.

They truly exude sensuality and most of the time has a very unique sex appeal to them😆 Everytime I see this placement in someone's chart I just started to look at them in awe, like they're pretty rare when you think about it💀 So when I do meet one I just want to lock them up and make them fill out a questionnaire for me haha

I'm just joking but seriously this is no surprise, their natural sexuality can be very annoying sometimes. they can be doing something so casually yet it would come off as very provocative or as if they're trying to much to be hot. they're really not and thats the thing! in addition, i notice that since scorpio rules cruelty too, a lot of scorpio mars women can be seem as the classical femme fatale character haha, they can seem harsh and cold despite not wanting to come off that way. and when they're younger most likely will realize how men treat them differently and acknowledge how the patriarchal reality we live in is extremely problematic. they resent this dynamic though and would develop a no-nonsense attitude as they grow older!

for this part i would like to tell you guys to take this very seriously, but if you have scorpio mars in general please use protections😀 like A LOT of scorpio mars people i know have contracted some kind of STD or some kind of issues down there, while theres not anything wrong with it as most of the time they simply need to stay more alert and careful, but somehow they have such a bad time with it?? as in i think since scorpio also rules over a bunch of stuff like your sex organs, diseases, kidneys, ulcers, the womb and syphilis according to the book of rulership💀(i promise im not making this up guys).

i would also like to add that a lot of scorpio mars are very protective of their bodies because they recognize this too!! the women in particular haven HORRENDOUS period cramps:( I would advise scorpio mars women to get tested often and pay extra attention to their health because of this!! especially during pregnancy🥳

now that we got over that, lets not forget that they're also very curious people, a lot of ambitions and passion too🖤 their energy is as domineering as capricorn mars in a way but theres this fluid water energy being added too! i think while they're very resentful people, they can also have this amazing forgiving nature too (surprise haha)! water mars are still very understanding and soft in a way that cause them to put up a tougher front to deal with the public, yet i'm convinced that water mars are wayyyyyy more forgiving than earth mars or air mars 🤣

scorpio mars women imo can have amazing executive abilities and a natural eye for finding details and the minor flaws while examining the whole picture. they make fantastic researchers and once they're determined on something, this is when their fixed energy is activated and they would literally pour their heart and soul out on something they're invested in.

this goes the same way for people. scorpio mars have a hard time letting people in and a harder time letting people go. they're naturally nostalgic and traditional in a way like most fixed placements yet they buried this so deep people think they didn't even care 😌

they're super attentive in the bed room LMAOOO lowkey pleasers though i'm not sure what's all that rant about them being 50 shades and stuff😭but scorpio mars have this naive energy to them too thats so distinct and in the bedroom while they're very flirty and sweet they also can get so lustful and shy sometimes haha

soooo thats about it with scorpio mars women for today haha🥰 lemme know what you guys wanna add to this!! i still cant use the chat for some reason but would love to see what you guys have to say<3

love,

saint jenx🪐

[smalltragedy]

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hi im just reposting gabe’s intro bc its been a very long time n im starting a little fresh hehe. yes i do regret the text color bt im not going back.

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: bisexual (masc-leaning).

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances.

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay!

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years.

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe.

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost.

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.

[lordelmelloi2]

I think it's also the fact that men who are viewed as vain are viewed as having feminine qualiites in the first place whereas a real man doesn't really have vanity to him, or if they do have vanity it's a specific kind of masculine vanity in suit tailoring and presentation that's very much so specific to certain styles but Waver is always doing things like, wearing long scarves as accessories, of course keeping his hair long "as strategy" (PFF), but poising himself in certain ways, constantly crossing his legs to seem smaller at times, being openly catty, flicking his wrists and flipping his hair and all sorts of other stuff that shows that whether he likes it or not his feminine side is still there and still wants to be there and still pours through even if he tries to reject it and say "But I am a man", it's like. There isn't a shame in being a Femme Man by any means (I am a femme man myself/bigender fagdyke etc.) but it's like you can kind of see the Gap between himself and that ideal masculinity that he idealizes within his immature self, when he does something like smoke a cigar while not approaching any masculine mannerisms, not spreading his legs or making himself larger, not engaging in any more reserved bodily or facial expressions; he makes no effort to hide his emotional self or a very poor effort at hiding his emotional self and it's a part of who he is and he knows this too and he can't help it. He just can't help it. He can't help being the way that he is. It is society that says that masculinity cannot be tied with emotion and that the more masculine ideals are less emotional or rather are the "acceptable" avenues of emotion (passion, anger, numbness), but Waver has so many complex emotions that he can't help, I feel like, but empathize with the Modern Woman, who has to take care of herself, who has to be independent and able to handle herself, who works her job and goes home and does what she needs and then goes to sleep and then gets up and goes to work again and doesn't ask anything particular of anybody because it's a little embarrassing to not be as strong as you'd hoped you could be. Im on some 5D shit right now and im so drunk

Waver's always been skirting that border of "Not quite a man" versus "Not quite a woman" I've been saying the Divine Androgyne for a long ass time and while I think that's intentional I think it's also kind of funny how in his natural state he bridges that gap on his own in the first place despite continually protesting that He Really is Masculine but doing absolutely nothing to approach it because it doesn't suit his sensibilities as a person who simply poises himself a certain way

[loopy-froots]

Introduction Post! (TW: SA, PTSD, etc.)

Hello slasher fandom! I’m fairly new to this side of tumblr, so forgive me if I don’t understand how all this works yet! I just thought I’d introduce myself because I’ve already posted drawings and fanfiction writings so far, but maybe some of you want to know who’s behind it? If not that’s totally fine, just keep scrolling! But if you’re curious, keep reading! Btw! I’d love to get to know any of you as well, so feel free so say hi! :^]

Facts about me:

I go by the name Donn on this blog (for safety reasons I won’t be sharing my actual or preferred name anywhere on this blog, sorry!)

I chose the name Donn because of the name coming from the Celtic god of dead souls (I’m a Celtic witch by blood so I thought it’d be fitting)

My preferred pronouns when I write are she/they (leaning towards she atm because of some personal issues I deal with irl, but irl I prefer they/them more strictly… does that make any sense?)

Anyways, I’m 18+ and I very much prefer my viewers to be 18+ ONLY because of the NSFW content I post… and I also don’t want to influence anyone that impressionable cuz I have a kinda fucked up mindset atm…

But I hope that’s alright! I know kids will do what they want, and there’s not always much we can do to stop it, but please just be respectful of my wishes and DNI!

I have severe PTSD from many irl traumas that have happened to me throughout my life, and I currently live in an kind of abusive household, so my mental health has not been good…

That’s partially why I started drawing and writing fandom stuff cuz it’s currently what’s keeping me going!

I have diagnosed Adhd, but I take meds for it and am doing slightly better with my productivity! That’s why I’ve been able to crank out as much content as I have in the past few days!

I have undiagnosed autism, but it’s a work in progress cuz I’m like pretty sure I am autistic (for many reasons, the more you get the know me the more obvious it’ll get)

I am disabled in many ways: chronic physical and mental pain/illnesses, hard of hearing, etc.

I’m extremely liberal so DNI if you’re gonna be a bigot or anything cuz I will block you!

I have a partner (Who does not know about this blog yet cuz I’m v shy about sharing this kinda stuff with the people I love… partially cuz of my trauma from past relationships)

Ive suffered from THREE separate abusive romantic relationships… all of which kinda fucked with my head… so forgive my insecurities and everything! (I’m working on it tho!) but this partner I’m currently with is AMAZING AND LOVING so I’m v happy with them!

TW! I’m a S/A survivor, and it was by a friend I trusted, so I get very skittish by people irl because of the betrayal… but I find it easier to get to know people online cuz it’s not as traumatic imo

As you can see, I overshare EVERYTHING for literally no reason… like it just gushes out of me without me being able to stop it… Sorry if you’re unhappy with it! Feel free to block me if it bothers you!

I am currently seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist!! They both help me a lot with functioning as a normal person (even tho there’s no real such thing as a “normal” person imo, but it helps me survive in the society I live in)

I used to be goth, but now I’m forever torn between being goth again or being a cottagecore lesbian lol (I usually dress femme even tho my brain makes me feel like a boy a lot of the time…?)

I am extremely bisexual! Like holy shit! How come everyone is so hot?? Lol but seriously, I go all ways (I know some people say that’d make me pan but I prefer the term bisexual over being pan)

I used to be a little, but I’m not anymore because too many people took advantage of me when I was in my little mindset… I don’t let myself regress anymore unless I’m absolutely alone, but that’s rarely ever (my little age was around 10 btw)

I am extremely sensitive and am an empath! I feel my emotions EXTREMLY STRONG so I overreact to everything, am very passionate about the things I’m in love with, and cry at any given moment! I cannot and will not help it! I’ve been told too many times that I’m too sensitive and that I’m a crybaby and that my heart is too big for my body, but I don’t care anymore! Im refusing to see this as anything but a blessing for now on! Sensitive bitches are the baddest bitches lol

I used to get lots of hallucinations/psychosis, but I take meds for it and am now much better and less paranoid!

I still get paranoid about social situations tho for time to time, as im a very insecure person :(

Im a switch/power bottom! I like to be dominant on occasion, but I prefer to be a bratty sub most of the time!

I am a collector of taxidermy things!! I have several insects on my walls, as well as animal paw jewelry! If you don’t like it that’s alright! Just don’t tell me cuz I will block you! I make sure all my collection items are from humane sources and all the animals die naturally in the wild!

I am a HARDCORE clown/masked person fan… like clowns are sooo gay and sexy like why must you jingle jangle your lil clown bells when you dance like that??😩 and masked persons are just so mysterious and sexy omg

Cicero fro Skyrim was literally my clown sexual awakening… murder clown man… with a squeaky voice… yes… must have!

My first sexual awakening tho was probably Danny Phantom (Which is sooo funny cuz my partner actually named themself after him… coincidence? I think not! God does have a plan! Lol jk… unless?🥺👉🏻👈🏻)

Yes, I use the 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 emojis unironically… no, I’m not proud of it😔

HMU if you relate to any of this or just want to be friends! I’m literally so desperate for friends cuz my old roommate made me cut ties with them and then they spread rumors about me to all my other friends until no one would talk to me anymore… :( so I’m v lonely run…

But anyways, yeah that’s basically me… a huge mess but I’m on my way to getting better I guess…?

If you’re still reading all of this, THANK YOU KIND BEING! You are unlike any other…🥺❤️

Okay bye loves!

[iceglade]

i made a thread on twitter about this but i've been thinking about vanilla vs royal i cant handle how happy i am that royal has made ppl like akechi more, not just for "hes hot" reasons bc ppl love that but winning over reddit* folks who dislike many fanon takes for being too wooby,

not that i particularly care for Wooby bc ive been in fandom for ages and i like seeing ppl happy - i know theres a certain degree of allowance when it comes to twisting canon characterization for content, because you're the content creator, its in your hands and cmon- 

but especially with royal i think akechi's serious edge "won over a lot of people" who can now respect him for how he approached refusing the dream world, i think thats something they can understand and appreciate - ESPECIALLY when a lot of ppl's beef with vanilla akechi was "daddy doesnt love me boo hoo" which is a GROSS misunderstanding/simplification of his EXTREMELY complex character, which was barely covered or etc bc of vanilla's horrid writing -- over all! its not JUST him - BUT, royal provided such a good opportunity to show off akechi's character, through giving him more screentime and VERY IMPORTANTLY: Plot Relevance like how, say mementos mission shows off joker's need to be helpful bc hes a deep-feeling person, or scramble showing off haru and makoto and the other thieves by drawing them against the new characters to compare and contrast and give them Time to BE, - royal gave akechi time to recover from the frankly AWFUL vanilla narrative decision to shoot and shove him off like chopped liver and never mention him again, so that many ppl's impression of akechi goro was of an incomprehensible, annoying character who blew up and then acted like he dont knowww know bodaay haghnaghnahgna   

i joke but SERIOUSLY a bad first AND last impression, REALLY... 

ahh. im just surprised !! every time someone says they like him or that they disliked him earlier but dont post-royal or etc etc it always takes me by surprise even after all this time !! it makes me very happy -though even as i focus on how happy i am that people like his character, even streamers talking about his ass (what ass... ... cindy thats bone) or etc-  i shouldnt, but i still count it as a sort of win because my standards are so low ;-;.. i dont like sexualizing characters (of any gender or sexuality, dont worry ^-^'') but the point of it all is that the amount of stannery is .. stunning i think, from all ends of the fandom, when i think about how nervous vanilla felt to me. if im wording this all right.

-- that being said. obviously there are ppl who still dont like him, VEHEMENTLY, and everyone gets so passionate about him and everything that tension and fights erupt very very quickly - it makes me wonder what about royal didnt hit with them, but hit with other people, in a Genuinely Curious kind of way. not that im not suuper passionate about goroboying, because, i am !! royal makes me very happy and i stay out of fights as best as i can because i know, ACUTELY, how PAINFUL it is to have a hyperfixation broken. nauseous furious shaking heart aching - its heartbreak !! i'd rather die before i inflicted a pain like that on someone. + id rather remember something for the love i felt for it than the harm.

(though while i'm here, people who were in the "# p5r spoilers" tag remember what happened a little while ago shortly after royal jpn came out , though that's for a whole other post about the fascinating history/sociology of that particular event, 👁✨)

- its not about me having to choose between a lesser of two evils. thats not my point

no matter how intensely my heart is in it, i want to be able to say that you can feel how you feel about characters, though any misinformation sits badly with me in hyperfixation hell. funnily enough, while back on the topic of Agency, which goro is in some dire need of - which may be the root of why so many femme-presenting folk or lesbians are fond of him, + respecting women + sex workers + etc GORO AKECHI CAN BE SOMEONE SO PERSONAL ACTUALLY-

* - oh, backreading my own post - i didnt mean to specify redditors as if they're the only ppl i'm talking about, but it was the first to come to mind ; i'm just thinking a lot about how it seems like people really like the light royal was able to display him in, both as a delightfully entertaining UNHINGED EDGELORD and a very focused, goal-oriented, respectable ally, to the point that people are MUCH more open about how much they love him nowadays, which does bring me no end of joy - its no surprise that the new appreciation, as well as atlus ... highlighting ..... aspects ...... of blask ...... and the new content, of course the fandom treats him like this, - thats fandom. this is how people do i suppose. from a witness' viewpoint. hdngngm

i see all i know all 👁 i will keep all of my opinions right here and then one day i will die. but. i'll be honest. despite everything. im actually really happy.

[femmedamsel]

hey there, hope you're doing well. im a butch, about a year into being aware of that fact. my girlfriend think she might be a femme and wants to read more about that. the only real piece of literature i can point her towards is SBB. do you have any other writing/book suggestions for her or any other lesbians wondering if they're a femme?

This is really a great question. And unfortunately I’m not sure how much I can help (but I’ll try).

I want to start with saying there’s not just one way to be “femme.” It’s not so black and white. Some femmes are jeans and sneakers kinda of gals, never wear dresses or makeup and have short hair. Other femmes won’t leave the house without “putting on their face” and the highest heels imaginable. I consider myself kind of a “granola”/“crunchy” femme which basically means I tend to rock a lot of dresses and Birkenstock’s but not a lot of heels and makeup. (Don’t get me wrong I have heels and makeup but I tend to wear both for myself as my wife is 100% oblivious as to when I actually put on makeup). I also have my days when I LOVE dressing vintage or “bombshell” and pull out all the petticoats (which my wife hates but I do them for me not for her). There are tomboy femmes and “high” femmes. Both and everything in between is 100% valid.

Also being femme means different things to different femmes. I don’t feel that my wife and I feed into a heteronormative relationship. Yes she 100% opens the door for me (love it) but when the plumbing gets backed up I’m the one pulling out the tools to fix them. She’s neater than me (I’m a total slob) and does most of the cleaning. Nothing is sexier than a big butch woman with a broom in my opinion. I can’t have children...she’s younger than me and we’ve talked (a lot) about her carrying our child. And physically she’s super butch. I mean over six foot tall and can’t wear women’s clothes even if she wanted to because it’s too hard to find. Can’t stand her hair touching her ears. Sexy and dapper in her boxer briefs and sports bras. But she can cook a killer meal and LOVES (and I mean loves with a passion) hallmark Christmas movies and Disney princesses. Being butch/femme to me doesn’t mean we have to fit in nice boxes.

But that brings me to my biggest complaint of being a femme in the community- invisibility. Sure we have plenty of visibility in the media but that has way more to do with the male gaze and not a lot to do with the actual gay community. And that can suck. That’s part of why I 100% admire my butch sisters. You visibly live your truth every day. You don’t have to come out 10 times a day because most of the time people assume you’re gay. As a femme I feel like I’m constantly coming out of the closet. And I get terrible responses. “But you don’t LOOK gay” or “but you’re so pretty” or “so feminine.” I mean yeah there are perks to that. I don’t face the same level of discrimination at work or socially because I “look straight.”

So yeah I’m a big fan of SBB. It was one of the first books that helped me accept who I am and who I’m attracted to (women masculine of center basically Brienne of Tarth all day every day). But when it comes to resources for femmes specifically there’s not a whole lot out there. There are some articles on Autostraddle and AfterEllen (not a lot). There are a few good YouTube channels. There are a LOT of academic and non academic articles (best resources really) but not a lot of books.

But really, again, femme means different things for different people. My biggest advice (especially as someone in her mid 30s who spent most of her 20s figuring it out) is to just try on different hats. See what you’re comfortable with. Don’t feel pressure to be one thing all of the time. And don’t feel like there’s an impossible standard to fit (as in please don’t ever ask me to understand what contouring makeup is or how to do it-I don’t and not all femmes have to contour makeup). There’s really a lot to be said for learning what you like and what you’re comfortable as and accepting that. If that has a nice neat categories box to check awesome, but very few of us fit into a box all of the time.

There are also some great butch/femme communities where she can meet more femme sisters that might give her a better sense of community (also it’s kind of nice to have a bit of visibility and validation from other femmes and butches).

I know that’s not what you’re asking for strictly. If she likes magazine or academic articles (very helpful when discussing the history of femme), just let her google those but I don’t have a specific source where I would steer her.