#im just a fan writing for other fans

[jekacatrina]

So, someone commented in one of my fics asking if they could do an audio version for YT and monetize it and it made me so fucking mad i couldn’t focus the rest of the day at work

[rendevok]

“Take my hand” a comic for NaruMitsu Week 2023

day 1 - lies & secrets - 2 - 3 - 4

[deoidesign]

For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)

It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!

I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!

It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up

[lovesickeros]

popping in randomly after almost an entire month just to talk non stop about the tsaritsa again everyone sit down.

specifically just thinking about the implications of tsaritsa's ideals originally being about love + the abandonment of those ideals to complete her goal of, presumably, destroying Celestia or whatever she's cooking up. to the point even her people don't love her and I probably don't even remember a time her ideals were of love. now it's all just ice and snow and cold.

which makes romantic fics w her even funnier because she's purposely removed this part of herself and suddenly reader walks into teyvat like they own the place (they do) and I can only imagine her reaction. angry, probably. because why you? what are you doing to her that's caused her hundreds of years of strict adherence to rejecting "love" both from others and to others to just. collapse. absolute shattering of her world and you probably don't even know it bc if nothing else she's good at hiding it. a lot of denial. tries to pick you apart and see what's makes you so different.

and oh she just hates it. she loathes it.

basically one sided enemies to lover trope because she can't stand you for a while but if you stick around she starts warming up to you and it makes it WORSE. so much worse. tries to distance herself but your just everywhere and it gets on her nerves because why does she love you? she isn't capable of love, not anymore. she thought she was.

g-d forbid one of the harbingers or PIERRO notices she'd never live it down. might even consider the implications of just killing you (she doesnt). worse if you know about it and act like a brat she will lose her damn mind

just the tsaritsa being an absolutely horrible mess internally.

[palabraasinnecesarias]

five times ranma didn’t say i love you and the one time he didn’t need to: (this was the time he didn't need to)

ao3 | ff.net | ship: ranma/akane | rating: general audience | words: 8,889

summary

Ranma and Akane throughout their relationship in which they wondered about each other, and the one time they didn’t need to anymore.

a/n: this is JUST the ending part of the longer fic btw [words: 2,331]

“Okay. Okay,” Akane released a deep breath as she closed her eyes, taking a moment to ease her mind and body as she sat with crossed legs atop her bed. “Just walk over to him. Mistletoe over his head, and then kiss him.” Right, as if it were that easy – otherwise she wouldn't be such a nervous wreck.

According to Nabiki, after talking to Auntie Saotome and Kasumi, they were to be wed by Spring. They, being she and Ranma, of course. She was fine with it, had come to terms with the whole situation long ago . All she had asked of her father and Auntie Saotome had been to wait after her university's graduation, which was up coming the following semester; they had fulfilled the end of their bargain by agreeing.  

Naturally, after the misfortunes that came about their last attempted wedding so many years ago, this wedding would be hushed with only immediate family attending. Afterwards, at Auntie Saotome’s insistence, they’d throw a larger celebration to announce the union of both schools and families.  

Ranma had trained all night at the dojo after the rest of their lives had been arranged that evening during dinner, as if it were another checked off task on the to-do list, and she had wondered if he was upset at her. Maybe not at her, but the whole ordeal. But then, it all continued as it was. He’d bump her when racing down the stairs at Kasumi’s call for dinner or battle as to who had first dibs on the bathroom when they’d reach it at the same time.  

But then Nabiki asked, oh, how she had hated that damn question , “Have you two even kissed?” Of course not!

Their relationship had remained so normal, sometimes she’d forget the wedding was actually happening and she’d have to kiss him and live with him and introduce him as her husband. Although, she didn’t have to kiss him, but oh god did she want to. Making herself think about it, she didn’t want their official kiss to be on their wedding night.  

Her cheeks flushed quickly, imitating variant berries as she cupped them, shaking her head embarrassingly just thinking about it – their wedding night.  

Akane jumped slightly at the sudden knock at her door, starling her as she called for them to come in.  

“Hey,” Ranma popped his head in, holding a mug steaming as he offered it to her, “Kasumi sends some hot chocolate. The climate’s dropping and she wants to keep us warm. Considering it’s almost Christmas, she insisted on hot chocolate,” he smirked, inviting himself to take a seat on the bed next to her.  

She could feel the scrambling of her insides jumble and knot within her abdomen when she felt his shoulders press against hers. They were both wearing long sleeves, but nonetheless, their shoulders were touching. She took the mug from his hand, thanking him under her breath as she looked at the chocolate filled mug with a soft smile, feeling like such a child with a crush.

She held a tight grip on the handle, breathing in slowly and then breathing out slower. Just do it. Right? No, that wouldn’t be right. Also, Ranma would stop it before she even got close to him, considering his agility. Bad plan. Bad idea. She chewed her lower lip nervously. 

“Everything alright?” His sudden inquiry pulled her out of thought, and she glanced up at him with one raised eyebrow.  

“Uh, yeah. Why wouldn't it be?” 

“Well, for starters,” he sighed rubbing his shoulder against hers, such familiarity cozying her further, and her smile only widen, “you have hot chocolate and haven’t taken a sip.”

He had noticed her distracted face as soon as he had walked in, unable to mask it as quickly as she would have wanted, and he was curious. Worried, too, but she didn’t need to know that.   

“What if I wasn’t craving hot chocolate?” She joked with a cocked eyebrow, lifting the mug slowly to her lips to take a slow taste as to test how hot it was.  

“You’re a dork.” 

She only grinned.  

Half done with her mug, Akane placed it on her desk, adjusting herself comfortably to be facing him rather than sitting sideways. They had sat together for quite some time, chatting, and one topic led to another and now they were discussing how pressing and overindulged his mother was. Something she was glad they could both agree on.  

“If it was up to your mom, we’d be getting married tomorrow,” Akane grinned at the absurdity of it all. It felt incongruous sitting together knowing they’d to be married in just four months when they hadn’t even officially kissed yet . Yet impling that the moment was to come, and what better time than the present, right? She knew she shouldn’t be thinking about it, their nonexistent kiss, but he was right there and she was sitting so close. She could just lean foward, and maybe he’d allow it.

Maybe he wanted to kiss her, too.  

Her laughter decreased softly, clearing her throat as she watched the pigtail wearing man drag the palm of his hands up and down his face with seemingly frustration.  

“I know, I know,” he replied, a sigh of his own before looking over at her, noticing the intense stare she was offering. One that told him she was thinking about something, brewing an idea, but wasn’t quite sure how to drag it out of her. “You sure there isn’t anything ya’ wanna talk about?” He tried again, shimming at her side, hoping his persistence would get him just a bit further.  

“Well,” she pursed her lips, glancing to the left and then to the right, as if pondering about something so nonessential, like an outfit she’d sport to a classmate’s holiday party.  

Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP.   

“Well?”  

And then he watched her lean towards her desk, watched her open the top drawer and pull out a plant of some sort, as she held it delicately. And then she brought it towards, spreading her palm as the small stem laid on her flat hand in between them, watching him stare at it.  

“I was thinking...and I think we should...?” She gulped the inventible lump clogged at the back of her throat not letting her finish her question as Ranma’s eyebrows furrowed together, curious as to what she was getting at.  

“Should what?” 

Akane groaned mildly, an eyebrow of her own twitching at his ignorance, “You’re really going to make me say it?” Irritation was getting the best of her, but mainly because she already found this embarrassing enough.  

But they were to be married; they were to share a lifetime of embarrassing moments, right?  

“Kiss.”  

She blinked a few times, staring at the mistletoe laying on her palm, like that was the kiss itself.  

“Kiss?” He repeated, and this time she looked up to find him pondering, tapping his index finger against his chin and she couldn’t help but chuckle at just how dumb he looked.  

“We don’t have to,” Akane sighed, pulling away, but almost instantly both of her wrists were gripped and tugged forward by Ranma’s hands, and suddenly she forgot how to breathe.  

Ranma must have yanked her a tad too hard because she was now only centimeters away from his face, and she could see his light eyes scanning about her face as she tried to keep herself calm. His messy fridge just reached his nose bridge, and easily caught a whiff of her floral shampoo on him. 

“You want to kiss me?” He asked, and that was enough to knock her out of her daze. It wasn’t a lie, but she figured his question was coming from his egotistic self, rather than curiosity.  

“I was saying,” Akane continued, gently trying to push herself away but not successfully releasing the grip of his hands around her wrist, “maybe it’d be a good idea to kiss now,” she swallowed as Ranma softly tugged her once more, “rather...rather than wait...for the...wedding.”  

“Okay.” He breathed in, his half-lidded eyes watching her carefully. His voice was low, and she almost missed his verbal agreement at how distracted she was by his eyelashes pulling her in.  

“Okay?” It was that easy?   

“Y-yeah,” he stammered, his face so close that the tip of their noses skimmed faintly, “if ya’ wanna.”  

“Do you...do you want to?” Her voice was so delicate, it seemed, hushed as she waited for his answer. The question itself was insecure, and full of hope, and could easily break her. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to ask so early, but rather two months before the wedding. The thought itself sounded so absurd in her mind, she wanted to laugh.  

“I mean, I don’t mind if ya’ don’t,” he answered truthfully, and she scanned his face for any sarcasm, any disgust, and malice, but there was none. He watched her in wonder, with curiosity, making her feel dainty.  

“I don’t mind.” She replied quickly.  

And then she closed her eyes waiting for him, and he looked down at her, taking an extra moment to take in all the soft features of her round face with her glowing cheeks and curved nose. The hold around her wrist lessened, and instead he pushed his palms higher around her lower arm, as if to ground himself before kissing her.  

It was timid, the way he brushed his lips against hers; like feathery light touches, almost tentative about kissing her. But then he pushed just a tad further into her, and his hands lightly squeezed her arms. It felt good. He figured he was supposed to pull away after just one kiss, but he found himself wanting to continue kissing her.  

And maybe she did, too, because he caught the way her mouth opened just a bit when he pushed for another. It was slow, and very new, but there was a tingling sensation vibrating from his mouth down his neck and up his face that kept him wanting more. It was a good new.  

Her lips were softer than he’d imagine they’d ever be (not that he thought about her lips often), and as he continued kissing her, they were beginning to burn, in a good way; in a great way.  

He could feel her hands reach for his face, each fingertip almost stinging as they pressed onto his cheeks, easily melting against his skin. Had he known that kissing Akane felt this good, he would have done it a long time ago. Her palms smoothed across his skin towards his ears, dragging themselves down to settle on his neck, edging him to pull her closer.  

This was supposed to be a chaste kiss, right?  

He felt her nudge away momentarily, and he took that as a sign to pull away instantly because otherwise he wouldn’t. And when he did so, it took him a moment to open his eyes to look down at her already gazing up at him. She was breathing heavily, as was he, and her lips were reddish, like cherries. And she looked so beautiful, and he could admit that to himself and to her if she wanted to hear it.  

And then she laughed a breathy laugh, one that kept her smile intact with a toothy grin, her eyes searching his as she found herself compelled to say, “That was a good kiss.”  

Ranma chuckled, not sure why they found the situation amusing, but nonetheless refreshing. “Good.” He could feel the warmth easily diminish as she pulled her hands away from his skin, and he went to catch them, holding her hands in between his, “Are we...can we...?” 

Akane’s eyebrows pricked up at his unfinished question, allowing him a moment before she asked, “Do you want to kiss me again?” This time it was her egotistic-self rubbing it on his face, but she couldn’t help but find herself suddenly so sheepish.  

He knew she could see his ruddy face as soon as she was done asking, but man, did he want to kiss her that way again if she’d let him.  

“Ain’t that the sort of thing people do when they’re in love?” His question had been rushed out, in an attempt to remedy his embarrassment, with pure genuity. And then he heard himself ask it. “What I mean–”  

���Ranma,” Akane giggled, her hands pushing strands of hair away from his face, her touch very soft and tender as she looked at him, “you can kiss me any time you want.”  

“Any time?”  

She nodded slowly; a sly grin plastered on her face as she leaned closer to him, enough to peck him into another kiss, had he pushed himself forward. 

[morganadismay]

unexpectedly spent the majority of this christmas break progressing on my quest of writing my terry pratchett style gay little arthuriana stories

[starry-bi-sky]

okay so i was thinking of a joke earlier about how in DPDC Amity Park's slogan "a great place to live" is not only city propaganda but also the city lording it over the rest of America for being normal. But then I remembered that, despite how many DCU Cities with heroes in it there are, the amount of cities in America without heroes still far outnumber the amount of cities in America WITH heroes.

So I did a little digging so the joke would still land. Something most heroes have in common is that they operate in major cities. What makes a major city? I found that the general consensus is that the population is roughly over or around a million. THEN I looked up the populations of cities in the DCU that I thought of off the top of my head. So Gotham, Metropolis, Starling City, Central City, Jump City. All of them ranked up to millions in population (most of them were in the tens of millions).

Amity Park's wikipedia describes it as being similar to specifically Philadelphia, Chicago, and San Francisco.

Philadelphia's Population: 1.576 million as of 2021 Chicago's Population: 2.697 million as of 2021 San Francisco: 815,201 as of 2021

Whiiich means that Amity Park if we take that from canon, is probably a major city. There are approximately 19,000 cities in America with probably less than a hundred that are major cities. Adding the DCU major cities wouldn't skew the data too much.

Which MEANS that I can make the joke that Amity Park's "great place to live" is not only just typical city propaganda, but also its Amity Park lording it over the other major cities for being one of the only major cities that doesn't have problems bad enough to warrant a superhero or a vigilante. Cue stage left the Fentons and Phantom :)

Amity Parkers were probably SO proud that they didn't need a superhero. They didn't have to worry about things like 'world ending threats' and 'super-powered individuals' and 'staggering property damage'. And then enter Fentons.

It also could be used as an excuse for why nobody took notice to Amity Park getting ghosts if folks like me aren't huge fans of the notion of a media blackout via Tucker, Technus, or the US Government. Or if you want to keep Amity Park as its urban city self. Amity Park's news on ghosts gets drowned out in a week because there's news on more popular, well-known cities going on every other day. The shit going on in Amity Park is every other major city's regular Tuesday and it gets filtered as such.

[dykedvonte]

I keep seeing fanarts of ppl's OC's being on the ship, so do you think that if there was 6st crewmember (specifically, another woman) Anya would've been more safe? Like, someone to actually call Jimmy's begaviour out, someone Anya might wanna trust? Is there a possibility something might have changed (even if a little) or it would not have mattered at all?

-💀

I feel like the game would make it part of the commentary on where she would believe and help Anya but still be sort of dismissive? Like the whole “don’t waste time crying and being scared keep going and move on, don’t let him win”. It’s supposed to be positive and reinforcing but sometimes it does more damage in those times of mourning and grief, it feels patronizing, like you don’t understand what you’re going through but they do. Even if they did call out his behavior it’s still on Curly to act and while another voice would help, it’s still 4 against 2 on guys that don’t get it until they have to vs women who always have to.

I don’t mind mouthwashing OCs but I do get a bit bored as they tend to be borderline saviors or like Jimmy aligned. They are either more complicit than Curly or just Jimmy haters for no reason, outside of what the creators know about what he did to Anya. I am never irked by OCs but in a story like mouthwashing you really need to think about what your character adds to the commentary, especially if they are there during the crash. It’s nice to have like characters on Anya’s side more whole heartedly and interesting to see characters who placate Jimmy but sometimes it’s one note.

I can’t and don’t want to police peoples OCs it’s never my intention when I comment on trends I notice, but I do feel like the way people make their OCs interact with these two characters and especially Curly, really show a grave misunderstanding of the narrative and these characters as people vs roles in the story. Still, I know people just make up characters for fun and that’s fine. Great even, but I guys I’m focusing more on OCs that are supposed to have those serious dynamics. My favs tend to be pretty-Tulpar or post-Tulpar au OCs.

The inevitably of the crash is on Jimmy. He did that not because he wasn’t stopped but because all his means to kill Anya were taken. The gun, the axe. Even if Curly did strip him of his co-pilot privileges and try to keep him contained there’s only so many people. An extra body helps but they have jobs they have to do, he’s the only one steering the whole ship and Jimmy would likely have an out: food, bathroom, etc. He’s not new and if he couldn’t crash the ship directly, who’s to say he wouldn’t sabotage something else? A clunker like the Tulpar wouldn’t take much. An extra person helps but it’s just another thing that prolongs what a person like Jimmy is willing to do to shirk responsibility.

It’s more than just needing someone to stand up to him and think that’s what is missing when it comes to inserting a character into the mouthwashing setting.

[angie-long-legs]

//in need of money fast bc I don't have enough for my rent on weds (or things like food and therapy bills) so I'm reminding you guys I do writing commissions. would really appreciate anyone sharing this because the situation is kinda dire

in addition to this, I also do art! my prices will be low because I am very much a beginner artist so please dm me if you have a request for a piece. all of these are wips except the expression one, I've just included them as examples of my style.

even just sharing this post would be appreciated <3

[thedeafprophet]

I do feel like part of the problem with fallen london's writing is that many christians and many cultural christians don't understand that it is in fact offputting to constantly have it assumed, forced upon you, and just the constant pervasiveness of the christian ideology acting like no other ideology exists. having the bible quoted to you in a game is not exactly fun? for a lot of people? and will severely turn off some of those who might otherwise enjoy the story?

this is specifically an issue in a roleplaying game, where you are playing as your own character, from your own pov, and the story acts as if there's only one background you could possibly be - as if there's only one view of text and story that matters. one story after the next, from the latest big story, to the latest ES, and even Mask of the rose's assumptions of the player character and the heavily church centered plot, it just keeps happening over and over again with the constant focus on christanity without any other even slight options.

in a game with a set protagonist this wouldnt be as big of a deal - or even one that straight up says theyre only writing for specific people, if that was admitted. I would just know from the get go not to play it. instead of this halfway point and wishy washy.

theres been some really great points of aknowledgment and feedback response, with the freehold and city in silver portion, but it seems any time a step forward is made, the game doubles down in its assumptions the next time around.

I don't know. maybe the game just isn't made for people like me. perhaps i've been unrealistic in what i want from it. perhaps im simply not what is wanted within the audience.

[old-skyguy]

Look.

Ace Attorney fandom.

I know why people don't like Turnabout Bigtop. I am among the people who dislike Turnabout Bigtop.

But I GET why people like the case. I'm not going to be one of those annoying people who just blindly dump on it because I hate those mfs too.

Thing about Bigtop isn't that it sucks. Thing isn't the weird grooming stuff (though that is a huge part of it). It's not that it could've been good.

It's that - in my personal OPINION - it could have been *great*.

I think it had the potential to be one of the best third cases in the trilogy. It had everything; a fun and goofy setting fit for a pretty dang goofy lawyer game - where the environment itself had jokes and quips and one-liners and mishaps and tomfoolery written all over it, it had the previous case introducing a very interesting and important plotline that gave background for one of the more well-loved characters while also introducing an equally fucked up and lovable new one who was a child forced into a shit childhood of naivete in a CIRCUS with another character who was very naive and childish - whose interactions could have been funny and cute and reflective of said shit from the previous case (seriously she becomes such an important character in the 4th case, WHY would they not include her in this one for some character development? How did they fuck up letting a CHILD explore a CIRCUS?? That would have made the interactions flow MUCH better).

They had a pretty good, sympathetic killer imo, a morally dubious victim, an asshole of a client (who was pretty flat admittedly in-game, but I like his weird, topsy-turvy reasoning for it in the anime. Also, I think Max being kinda a dick would have bode well for the themes of Farewell since most of his clients up to this point have been like...nice? Not nice, but sympathetic, but him having to defend someone who's innocent but a prick would have shown him that just because someone is an asshole, doesn't mean they deserve to suffer for it and that they have the potential to grow as people, which is almost a complete foil to what Matt was. Ultimately, I would have loved the contrast of them as clients and I think it would have also served as character development for Phoenix, especially with his low-empathy tendencies).

They just didn't think that far ahead. They just didn't execute it well enough. They just decided to make three of the adult characters fight for the hand in marriage of a teenage girl. (Bat's part of the story was actually kinda good if he was just YOUNGER, I think him doing that for Regina would have been a stupid thing someone in the circus would do to impress their crush. Damn you Ace Attorney and your weird treatment of underage girls!!)

It just flopped and that's ok.

Even though it kinda sucked, it can still mean something to me.

Also I'm a Moe Curls apologist. I liked him, shut up.

[faybellesbeauty]

watching the eah community grow like a proud wine aunt who just randomly disappeared from family gatherings

[findafight]

Wait hehe.

Modern au where Eddie has a decent following in social media and is known as both a guy who does ttrpg with a few friends and does cool metal covers of different song genres. He's weird, sure, and will also post two minute video monologues but it's done while camera is mildly unfocused on a worm on the wet pavement, or he'll rant about prog rock and then two minutes later go "I'm sorry my statements on Keith Emmerson were inappropriate and I guess" *pauses and looks off camera* "he totally deserves to be in the rock and roll Hall of Fame" like it's a hostage video and someone made him say it because he looks like he's having a terrible time about it.

Anyways he's an internet funny little man and one day he posts a tiktok or what have you labeled "tfw ur bf is sitting in his platonic soulmate's lap instead of yours" and it's just of Steve sitting sideways across Robin's lap on someone's couch chatting and smiling with her before turning to Eddie and giving a little finger wave.

This is of course met with internet hullabaloo because is that Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley? Famous indie music duo who are also starring in a popular new tv series? Social media weirdos? Beloved and popular and bizarre and memeable? Queer icons RobinandSteve? Was Eddie serious? He was dating thee Steve Harrington?

An hour later Robin tags Eddie in a post that is a video obviously taken from slightly under Steve as the angles are a bit weird, and Eddie can be heard saying "oh my god how could I have forgotten you're, like, really famous how'd I do that Steve! Babe, Stop laughing! It was supposed to be a silly relatable post! You're no better Buckley-hey why are you filming this? My mortification isn't funny!!" While the video is just shaking of Steve curling in on himself and Robin trying to focus on Eddie and you can hear them both cackling over Eddie talking. She captions it "tfw ur QPP's bf forgets you two are famous and that most ppl don't know they're dating. Or didn't, at least"

[siriusdraws]

Favourite.

[spicy-dragon]

I love all your headcanons and opinions and art about Zoro and Sanji's sex life!! Do you have any smut you've written?

Thank you!!!!

I don’t have anything that’s finished, but as per usual I have about a million wips

So here’s a part of a wip I’ve been writing where Zoro gets turned into a woman and zosan end up in a fucked up situationship 👇

“You need to get laid.”

Sanji hurled the wooden spoon at his head. Zoro reached up and caught it from the air before it made contact, bringing it to his mouth to drag his tongue through the sauce coating the end. It was perfect, of course. That didn’t stop him from eyeing the cook as he licked his lips and offering,

“Tastes a little sweet.” —just to watch the way the other man bristled at the jab.

“Maybe to someone with the taste buds of a mutated sea cucumber!” He snarled, slamming the lid back into the pot with a loud clang and turning down the flame. “And what I do in private is none of your business, so back off unless you want me to knock you through that wall.”

The threat was as empty as they came. Sanji had already made it abundantly clear where Zoro currently fell on his inane fighting spectrum. Despite the strong words, he’d no more raise a polished shoe to Zoro right now than he would roundhouse kick Nami for asking the time of day—a thought that pricked up Zoro’s spine in an uncomfortable way. It had only been a few days, but he was already itching for the normality of their fights. A day spent without Sanji trying to cave his skull in was a day he spent bored. He needed the thrum of a good fight, the exertion that came only from being pitted against someone who matched your strength. That brief moment in time where Sanji’s head was filled with nothing but him. If the cook wouldn’t fight him, he’d have to get his fill another way. Zoro’s determination returned two-fold, and the words were leaving his mouth before he could reconsider what a bad idea this was.

“I’ll fuck you,” Zoro said, downing the last mouthful of sake from the bottle. “Probably be the first time you’ve ever actually touched a woman.”

Sanji whipped around, cigarette crunched between his teeth as he bristled.

“Listen you stupid Neanderthal, I—” The rest of the insult was choked off as Sanji’s mouth clamped shut, eyes going comically wide as he registered Zoro’s proposition for what it was. “What?”

“I said I’ll fuck you.” The empty sake bottle clinked as Zoro set it down, pushing his seat back to stand from the table. “Or more accurately, I’ll let you fuck me.”

“WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WANT TO FUCK YOU?” The screech of Sanji’s voice shot so loud Zoro was almost worried the others would hear it from wherever they were on the island. It was laughable, the way Sanji shook with barely contained rage, as though Zoro hadn’t felt the burning gaze on him any time his back was turned. As though Sanji hadn’t made it painfully obvious he no longer knew where to look when Zoro was in the room.

“Everything about how you’ve been acting the past days makes me think that.”

Sanji dropped his gaze to the floor under the pretense of glaring at the wood, but Zoro could see the embarrassment flickering through his expression. He wrapped his hand around Kitetsu, sliding the sword free from its holster, still sheathed in its saya, and angled the blade beneath the cook’s chin. Sanji jolted at the touch, gaze darting back up to Zoro as he continued,

“You can’t look at me because you’re attracted to me.”

Sanji opened his mouth as if to deny it, but no words escaped. He clamped his jaw back down around silence that was as good as a confession. The furrow between his eyebrows deepened, but his eyes flickered down Zoro once, and he took the expression for what it was. Interest. Zoro smirked.

“Here’s the thing, Cook.” He pressed forward with Kitetsu, tilting Sanji’s head further up so he was looking down his nose to keep his gaze. The easy compliance was new, and it gave Zoro a little thrill to have Sanji at the end of his sword, obeying the minute pressure without so much as a protest. “I’m not gonna be a woman forever.” He tilted his head to the side, giving the cook’s chin a gentle tap with the tip of his blade. “You still gonna be able to look me in the eye after you’ve been inside me?”

Sanji blushed. It was immensely gratifying to watch the bright red color flood his cheeks to the tips of his ears, even as his face pulled into an irritated scowl. However he didn’t respond, and as the silence lapsed the answer became clear, even if it wasn’t the one Zoro wanted to hear.

He began drawing Kitetsu back. Not worth it if Sanji was going to freak out the moment he was back to normal. Not worth it if it would only make things weird for the crew. Not worth it no matter how much disappointment curled like a dying plant in Zoro’s chest. Before he could withdraw the sword entirely, Sanji’s hand shot up to wrap around it, gritting his teeth as he met Zoro’s gaze with a stubborn glare.

“I can look you in the eye. Now, and later,” he hissed.

Fire ignited in Zoro’s chest like someone had struck a match and dropped it in there. He grinned, wide and feral as he yanked Kitetsu back, dragging the cook with it into his space. He slid the blade back into place alongside the other two and curled his free hand into Sanji’s tie to pull him in even closer.

“Big talk, Curly. You want to put your money where your mouth is?”

Sanji glared at him for just a moment longer, face still flushed red, before he flicked his cigarette to the side and crushed their mouths together.

Zoro grabbed a fistful of his suit jacket, pulling him even closer as Sanji’s hands slid up his neck and into his hair. His mouth tasted like ash and the bordelaise sauce he’d been making for dinner, the scent of cigarette smoke and cologne invaded Zoro’s senses as Sanji kissed him again and again. It was everything Zoro had never let himself imagine.

Sanji pushed him until his back hit the edge of the table and Zoro allowed himself to be lifted onto it, spreading his legs so Sanji could slip in between them. He fisted a hand through blonde hair as the cook broke away from his mouth to press a hot kiss against his jaw, then his ear, working down to his neck. Pleasure struck electric all the way down to his toes as Sanji opened his mouth to suck hard on his skin.

“You gonna fuck me right here in your precious kitchen?” He goaded.

“Of course not.” Sanji hissed, pulling back away from his skin. “First of all, we eat here, that's disgusting. Second of all, I’m a gentleman. I would never bed a woman somewhere so uncomfortable.”

Zoro clenched his grip in Sanji’s hair, tugging sharply at the roots to earn a wince.

“I’m not a woman, Curly.”

Sanji hissed, wrapping his hand around Zoro’s to relieve the pressure on his scalp.

“You are in all but name right now,” he spat. “Isn’t that the point of this?”

Zoro ignored the prick of pain in his chest, pushed it back and away behind the part of him that was aching for more of Sanji’s touch. To have this man willing and wanting beneath his fingers.

“Fair enough,” he hooked one leg around Sanji’s waist pulling their bodies flush together so he could watch the way the cook’s expression crumbled at the unexpected friction. “Romance me then, Gentleman.”

“You’re such a fucking brute.” Sanji seethed, but he surged forward for another kiss, licking into Zoro’s mouth as he cupped his face to tip it back.

Zoro’s whole body was on fire, the arousal pooling low in his stomach felt different than he was used to. Not entirely alien, but unfamiliar enough that it made him dizzy. He hooked his other leg around the cook’s waist, rolling his hips to explore the sensation. Sanji broke the kiss with a gasp, grinding back against him, and the burst of pleasure had Zoro pitching forward to press his forehead to the cook’s shoulder.

“You’ll be the death of me,” Sanji groaned. “Come on.”

The second he shifted like he was going to pull away Zoro clamped down his grip, stubbornly dragging him back in. The thought of separating from Sanji long enough to leave the galley, cross the deck, and reach the men’s cabin wasn’t appealing in the slightest. He tipped his head up, leaning in so he could press his lips against Sanji’s ear and speak low into it.

“Let’s just do it here.”

Pressed together as they were, it was impossible for Sanji to hide the shiver that ran up his spine and when he spoke again it was through clenched teeth.

“God, you’re so lazy.” His weight shifted forward against Zoro, and for a second he thought the cook was giving up. Instead, he slid his hands under Zoro’s thighs to hoist him up. Zoro startled, barely biting back a very unmanly yelp. He braced his hands on Sanji’s shoulders to keep his balance as he leaned back. At this angle, he was looking down on Sanji, disheveled hair falling across his face as he smirked in a way that felt downright sinful. “I’ll just do all the work, shall I?”

There was a sarcastic lilt to his voice, but he moved towards the door of the galley. Maybe under different circumstances Zoro would have objected to the manhandling, but it kept the cook close and freed him up to taste the milky white skin he’d dreamt about one too many times.

“If you’re offering.”

He leaned in to kiss the soft skin just below Sanji’s ear, opening his mouth to suck and nibble along his neck. He was only vaguely aware of the change in scenery as the cook kicked the door open and they made it outside, the cool sea air caressing his overheated skin.

“No marks,” Sanji growled, and Zoro released the patch of skin from between his teeth.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want anyone asking questions or making assumptions.”

Zoro hummed, sliding his fingers into the knot of Sanji’s tie to work it loose, a sly smile making its way onto his face.

“So it’s okay if it’s somewhere no one will see?” He asked, popping open the first few buttons of Sanji’s dress shirt and slipping his hand beneath the fabric to expose the beginning of his collar bone. He was pleased to see the red of his flush making its way all the way down his chest.

“I didn’t say that,” he hissed, but carrying Zoro as he was, he was in no position to stop it as Zoro leaned in to nip at his clavicle, running his tongue along the skin there before latching onto a spot at the base of his neck with a hard suck.

“Zoro,” the cook warned, but the hitch in his breath and the way his steps faltered only urged him on. He grazed his teeth against the spot, testing his limits before continuing to suck on his skin.

“Zoro,” he tried again, growling it through clenched teeth. Zoro released the spot, only to pull his shirt further askew and mouth his way down to a new patch of skin.

Sanji slammed him against the door to the men’s cabin, fisting a hand in his hair to tear his head back and kiss him fiercly.

“You are absolutely infuriating,” he hissed in between kisses.

Zoro grinned into the kiss, catching the cook’s bottom lip between his teeth to give it a sharp nip. He reached back, groping for the handle, the door swung open and they stumbled inside.

Sanji only stopped kissing him long enough to set him back on his feet before raising both hands to catch his face and pull him back in.

Zoro popped open the buttons of his suit jacket, sliding his hands up to push the heavy material off his shoulders. Sanji’s hands left his face to tear it the rest of the way off without breaking the kiss, before gripping the bottom of his shirt. His hands twitched, making an aborted move upward only to release his shirt and settle back on his hips to tug him closer. Zoro felt a bubble of amusement rise in his chest as he recognized the hesitation for what it was. The love-cook, afraid to go to second base. Zoro broke the kiss with a low chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” Sanji murmured.

“Aren’t you being too much of a gentleman right now?” Zoro asked.

“Huh?” He asked dumbly, and Zoro tapped a finger against the hand pressed unmoving against his waist.

“Your hands haven’t left the safe zones.”

Sanji froze, a startlingly flustered look crossing his face that made Zoro want to laugh out loud just to piss him off. Instead, he placed a hand on Sanji’s chest, pushing him back enough that they were no longer touching. He grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head in one fluid movement. Sanji gaped at him as he tossed the shirt carelessly to the side, planting his hands on his hips.

“We’re gonna have sex, Cook. You’re allowed to touch me.”

Sanji sighed, covering his beet red face with his hands.

“This isn’t fucking fair.”

Zoro chuckled, stepping towards him and Sanji startled, snapping his head up as his eyes flicked comically from Zoro’s face down to his bare chest and back again. When he was close enough, he reached out a hand to press it flat against Sanji’s chest, leaning in just enough to watch how his eyes flickered with anticipation. Then Zoro hooked his foot around the back of the cook’s ankle to pull his leg out from under him and shoved him back. Sanji flailed, tripping on the edge of the depression in the floor and falling hard onto the couch behind him.

“Fucking hell!” He shouted, scrambling up onto his elbows to spit at him like an angry cat. “What was that for?!”

Zoro stepped forward, pressing his boot against the front of Sanji’s pants. The cook jolted, tipping his head forward to try and hide the full body shiver that ran through him.

“You’re so easy to manipulate like this,” Zoro taunted, shifting forward to put more pressure against Sanji’s groin. “It’s amazing no one’s taken advantage of you yet.”

“Fuck you,” Sanji hissed, the venom of it lessened by the audible tremor in his voice.

“I already said you could,” he teased, drawing his foot away from Sanji’s crotch.

He sat down on the edge of the couch area, lifting one leg so he could work his boot off, then the other, dropping them both to the floor with a heavy thunk. Sanji watched him with dark eyes as he slid to the couch, reaching out to grab the loose knot of his tie and pulled it the rest of the way off. He fumbled with the tiny buttons of Sanji’s dress shirt, revealing more skin at an absolutely infuriating pace. He was tempted to just rip the thing open, if only to see how much the cook would let him get away with. However, woman or not that move was likely to piss him off and Zoro wasn’t risking this. Not when he was burning beneath his skin and Sanji’s fingers deftly joined his own to hastily finish opening his shirt so Zoro could drag it off him.

[stitchwraith-stingers]

in honor of the new year heres all the hazel-centric fics i could find bcuz its a desert out there u should definatly read them btw

link 1 - link 2 - link 3 - link 4 - link 5 - link 6