#im having a great deal of fun working on the next chapter

[verse-the-comic]

fucker speaks for the first time in ever and its SOLELY to bitch about his coworker. real shit

(real shit as in honest and true not real shit as in bad. sent and then was like "wait that tone is ambiguous ove text isnt it)

We've all had that boss we fuckin' hate. I'll leave it there.

[ivysprophecy]

coincidence

warnings: this isnt a very... girls girl chapter XD got inspo from that one scene in oth where haley slaps daneel ackles lol sooo underage drinking, cursing, drinks thrown in faces, hair pulling, reader being difficult XD idk what else

word count: 1490

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summary: things with jj had been great, steady even. it was a whole month of pure bliss, so is it a coincidence that you predicted this was gonna happen?

divider by @bernardsbendystraws

things have been so great. jj and i have been great i should say rather. its likes nothing has changed but it has in the best ways.

and no ones said anything. no questions no pestering.

just us.

its been about a month since that day on the beach and to be truthful the sneaking around, stolen kisses, and small touches, its been so much fun.

granted i dont like lying to all of our friends but i think its been beneficial to our relationship. theres no pressure of any watchful eyes.

and its very helpful when they expect all the touching and glances anyway so like i said, its been easy and thrilling,

which leads us to now at a bonfire in the boneyard dancing and drinking and relaxing.

"im gonna go get another drink okay j?" he pats my thigh giving me that damn smirk.

"bring me one too mama, just a cup from the keg."

"you didn't use your manners maybank," i stand up looking back at him with a teasing smile.

he rolls his eyes tilting his head back pretending to be fed up with me. "please mama?"

"i suppose i can do that." i send him a wink. "ill be back in a minute, dont miss me too much."

"oh i miss you already," he smiles knowing exactly what its doing to me. hes sitting against the rocks with his legs spread and his arm splayed next to him resting against where i was sitting.

fuck he looks good. wanna take him home and climb him like a damn tree.

unfortunately to get to the keg i have to pass through the crowds of tourons, kooks, other pogues. its a giant mess of music, drama, and body odor.

with a few excuse me's and shoves i finally made it to the keg and coolers that house my preferred rum and cokes. i make my drink before grabbing jj's, marking the cups appropriately with one of the sharpies laying around.

ive only had three so its still legible.

doing my best to push past the crowds again with out spilling my drinks it takes a little longer to find my way back to my boyfriend.

who, when i turn past a group of people, i see him leaning against the rocks with some girl shoving her tongue down his throat. aggressively might i add.

so i do what any rational person would do in this situation. i threw my drink on her.

"fucking bitch!" i pull her off of jj by her obnoxiously long, thick, and blonde ponytail, "who the fuck do you think you are!? huh?! you like being a boyfriend stealing slut?"

"woah! woah? y/n-" i feel someone wrap their arms around my waist and pull me away from the girl, "take a breather i can explain-"

oh tell me he did not just say that.

"you can explain? you can explain how im gone for five fucking minutes and youve already got some dumb fucking touron wrapped around your finger? fuck that maybank! and fuck you!"

"mama! mama slow down! okay listen- just for two seconds listen to me!"

"i fucking trusted you!"

"you still can! i didnt kiss her!"

everyone has their heads turned in our direction at the sound of us bitching at each others face. including our friends.

this night just got shitty and its about to get a whole lot shittier. im not drunk enough for this. but somehow im also too drunk for this. you know what i mean?

"mama i wouldnt do that to you- cmon you know me. id never hurt you on purpose," jj pleaded for my sympathy.

i dont know if its the alcohol, the rage, or a combination of tonights events with the two. but i cant fucking deal with this right now.

"jj i saw you kissing her! dont fucking lie to me right now. i told you this wasnt gonna work. that it would be too much, too confusing, and that one of us was gonna do something the screw it up! but i prayed to god that it wouldnt be you j! and i NEVER wouldve thought itd be this soon. but i guess thats for the best right?"

"no! no its not- fuck. mama listen i didnt kiss her back! okay?! she was trynna feel up on me and talking about the island and shit and i tried to blow her off but she just-"

oh my god im seeing red.

i dont know whats true. i saw what i saw. i saw them kissing, and his body language didnt seem to convey that he didnt wanna be kissed. but maybe i saw it wrong? could i have? no. theres no way.

a good girlfriend would believe him, but isnt that just naive of me? what if he didnt want do this... i dont know. i dont know, theres no way. this is exactly what i was afraid of.

"jj dont start- i dont wanna hear it right now. i cant. i just cant. im done! im fucking going home. have fun with your little blonde!"

he goes and reaches for my arm trying to keep me close, letting out an exasperated sigh. "how are you getting home?"

"thats all youve gotta say right now? un fucking believable. ill walk home for all i care j but you need to let go of me right now."

"youre not fucking walking home y/n-"

"yes i am," i yank my arm from his grasp "and dont you dare follow me jj. im not afraid to have this fight right now but trust you dont want that. because you will stay single."

god i really wish i hadnt said that.

and with that i walk away without looking back. because i just cant help making things worse, its what i do best. i can already hear all the rest of the pogues running up to him with all these questions and i have no fucks left to give about it.

if he doesnt wanna answer them he can go back to the blonde girl. i wont be surprised.

what i am surprised about is to have john b run up behind me, turning me to face him gently.

"hey- um youve been drinking i dont really think you should walk home alone," john b, always playing hero.

"ill be fine jb. really. go back to sarah and jj ill be fine."

"you keep saying youll be fine but you look like youre about to cry."

damn. am i? i reach up to touch my face and feel a small trickle fall from the corner of my eye.

"look i wont bombard you right now just- let me walk you home? please? make sure youre safe?" i cant lie, itd be nice to know someone gives a damn about me right now.

"thanks john b... thats actually really nice of you," i wipe my tears away and sniff away the cracks in my voice.

how could i be so stupid? i dont do stuff like this. ever. and i just let it happen.

but i'm not wrong am? it cant be a total coincidence that i specifically brought this up with him and this is how it ends?

"... so... you and jj?"

"i thought you werent gonna bombard me?"

he throws his hands up in surrender "its only one question."

i sigh, throwing in the towel because one, hes my friend and he deserves to know. i shouldnt have lied to any of them. and two, it would feel nice to get some of this off my chest. "yea. me and jj. for about a month now.."

"a month??"

i send him daggers with my eyes warning him this is not the time as we walk down the dirt road that leads home to the chataeu.

"sorry- youre right. i wont bug you about it yet."

"yet," i let out a laugh that sounds bitchier than i meant it to be, "im sorry we didnt say anything... i was kind of afraid of this exact thing happening. wanted to keep it low key."

"i get it..." he leads me up to the door where he pauses for a minute. "but y/n/n, for what its worth i think you should hear him out. jj has done a lot of things, but cheating on you? thatd never be one of them."

i open the screen door taking off my flip flops as he speaks, unsure of how to take his suggestion.

"youre a really good friend john b. honest. but i need a little space from all of the jj talk right now. tell sarah im sorry i stole you from the party. have fun."

he nods understandingly, watching me flop onto the couch before walking back down the road.

i stare up at the ceiling thinking about how everything went so wrong so fast until sleep takes over.

[moonshynecybin]

what would you consider essential marc and rosquez watching? i don’t mean races but the stuff happening around it, there seems to be so much and idk where to start 😭

BIG ass question. i think it depends what you want outta this and how you best interact with content slash consume information. for me (not to brag but. winner of multiple historical essay writing competitions in high school. for context on the kind of freak i am bringing to the table here.) the research is kind of the fun part ! like i just started googling shit! i would go to inactive blogs and just search 'marquez' on them to see what would happen ! a lot of the times that works ! but it also takes a lotttt of time lol so i'll chuck some good resources your way, why not...

okay im not sure how basic we're talkin here but um. background. so the documentaries are, i think. the best place to start. theyre entertaining and offer a good amalgamation of clips to provide context for the actual racing. and like i know you de-emphasized racing (which is fine lol who cares) but it really is like the most important thing in the world to these fools and its a pretty visual sport so i think its at least helpful. like yes sepang IS about the press conference, but its also about the conversation they have ON the race track using their motorcycles. which is also somewhat a conversation that they HAVE been having all year long...

i'd start with hitting the apex (2013), its a GREAT introduction to the "characters" that does a lot of legwork to contextualize everything. lays the scene for where vale is at coming into his relationship with marc (both personally, wrt to marco simoncelli, and career-wise concerning his flop at ducati), and also how insane marc's whole deal is in general. the second half is. materially a study on what him entering the premiere class did to the sport as a whole. the introductory chapter in many respects

marc marquez: all in. MY introduction and blissfully free online. marc comma in his own words, with all the implications of that. a self-produced documentary where he is giving feedback about the edit of said documentary straight to camera and no less vulnerable because of it which is very marc imo. revealing both intentionally AND unintentionally about his whole deal with injury, vale, and his image.

motogp unlimited. im gonna be real kind of boring. like i would still watch it ! but do it kind of later, once you know the major players so youre automatically more invested. it doesnt really give you more than marc says himself in all in tbh, and i get the sense him and vale were NAWWWT interested in doing more than the bare minimum for it.

marc's rookie doc. free and subtitled on the youtubes. the first half of this is deadass just him wanting to fuck vale so bad while every comment from vale has me saying GIRL. out loud because the foreshadowing would be genuinely shocking if this was fiction. anyways the laguna seca of it all....

next i would hit up PODCASTS ! i think it makes sense after the documentaries, because these are all podcasts that arent strictly about rosquez (even if they are in many ways the main characters lmao) and personally it helps to put faces to lesser known names that might pop up before i listen to a purely audio product and get lost in the soup of sounds. the paddock pass podcast has two retrospective episodes about the 2015 season that are really good at context, oxley bom pod has a fun recent episode on valentino that i love, again just poke around a lil

videos. these guys have never filmed a lot of content together tragically. what i wouldnt give for someone to make them do an escape room. anyways ranch visit HERE (post explaining the ranch visit here). sepang presscon (sowwy) here. vale unhinged podcast interview the month after marc's documentary came out here. vale retirement interview where he gets asked about marc here. vale talking about asking marc to the ranch here. vale postrace at argentina 2018 here. UCCIO postrace at argentina 2018 here. theres a lot moreeeee just go on my blog archive and filter for rosquez and vids its easier lol

journalism. hello. okay so you should genuinely spend some time reading through mat oxley's stuff he can write (theres a paywall but you can run that shit through wayback machine). he also loves an insane comparison which i do enjoy.... again this is one that can be solved by googling his name and tacking on 'marquez' or 'rossi' or a specific time period or race it will probably reap some dividends. in terms of specific ass articles this one is kind of load bearing in terms of sepang and some of the interpersonal competitive tensions at play. that being said there are manyyyyyy crazy interviews and snippents of articles from other journos floating around motogp tumblr (like literally too many to link) adn its fun to dig around to find them, but mat oxley gets a shoutout because i was reading this article TODAY !

other content. honestly one of the best resources I'VE found for plotting out the arc of their relationship is @kingofthering's everyrosquezpodium series. you can REALLY see it play out lol. also her tagging system rules she very neatly lays out years and races... so if something jumps out at you, CLICK ITTTT ! also all of @ricciardoes fave presscon moments series. insane.

all this to say a small little rpf fandom like this rewards some digging! i would just recommend following narrative threads that interest you ! its also a small fanbase that is pretty research oriented, so if youre ever confused about somethin, just shoot an ask or run a search on someone's blog (@kwisatzworld has endless vale resources and @batsplat is one of the most thorough researchers ive ever seen, for example) like for real theres so much... i also have a primer that i made forever ago that has some links on it so you can peruse that if you so wish. but frankly a lot of it is just using those research muscles and being sufficiently deranged enough to be screenshotting reddit threads at one am so you can post them to tumblr because they mentioned marc and vale in the same sentence and that lit up some of the neurons in your brain

(and i know you said outside of races but i think theyre good benchmarks as turning points soooo you should do some diggin on laguna seca 2013, jerez 2015, argentina 2015, ASSEN 2015, sepang 2015 obvi, argentina 2018, and misano 2019. those are the big tentpoles of insane rosquez relationship drama imo. i mean theres many more but. im limiting myself.)

[angeart]

Popping in to give you my favourite scene/moment from HMTB since this fic genuinely had me hyperfixated (I read all the chapters in one night it was wild LOL)

But honestly its how unhinged Scar is, especially in chapter 37 (Im planning to make fanart soon myself aha) But god I was TENSE the entire time. (Bonus points to literally any time Scar just starts slipping and thinking hes in third life)

Also if your doing the sketches honestly if you could draw any of those scenes itd be so cool to see! Have a wonderful day and excited to see the next chapter!

HELLO. i'm bouncing around so happy that someone came to tell me stuff. also, reading hmtb in one night is insane. i don't know whether to be worried or impressed.

scar losing grip is such a wild thing to deal with. the little detail of him lying confused in his bedroom, clawing at the floorboards to try to ground himself in the knowledge that they're wood, not sand (and it not working) still lives vividly in my head.

it's great to know people enjoy that aspect of the story! it's tricky but fun.

as for the sketch, i went to check chapter 37 and then went to draw. and. i said. i said i'd make a doodle but. my hand slipped. soooo, i'm making a proper drawing, which means it might take a bit longer, but i'll tag you when it's done!! here's a preview :3

[prince-liest]

Your last 666 series installment is the best thing that happened to me. Its full of gore, somehow fluffy and wait-.. do I finally see some FRICKING COMUNICATION between the two idiots!?!?!

Ngl, Vox's 'Alastor not being able to love' statement hurt my soul. Your writing is brilliant and and let's just see what ending ya wro-..O MA LORD IS THAT VAL'S LOVE POTION!?!?!?!?

Now I need to know what's next!!!! And VOX I SWEAR IF U USE THIS SITUATION IN ANY WAY IM GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE.

This series is a blast♡ love it!♡ makes me weirdly passionate and excited hah!

Some communication, and some communication failure, hahaha. They're going to be talking a lot more in the next one, actually, because I meant to write some NSFW and they had to go and attempt a healthy conversation instead. What can you do.

Thank you so much, I'm delighted that you're enjoying! :D

And: Way more anon asks about the latest 666 getting answered under the cut! <3 I combined a bunch from the last couple of days.

prince, I'm going insane over the latest fic. so we know from Alastor's inner monologue that he knows the roofie was an accident, but considering the super stressful situation, the fact that Vox was the one to ask for a kiss and the fact that Alastor accused him of wanting instead of loving him not a few minutes ago…. makes me wonder if Vox might not be at least a little worred that Alastor might think it was on purpose <3 gonna be rotating this in my head for the foreseeable future - ✨

I am so glad that these things are on y'all's minds, hahaha. Because you can bet they are on mine. >:D And THANK YOU, very pleased to be dragging everyone down into insanity with me.

“Should I stitch together the scars your teeth left in me in a mirror of my own signature on your body.” Fucking. POETRY. 🐈‍⬛

I am always so happy when I write shit like this and instead of everyone pointing at me and going, "Look, what an EDGELORD!" the response is you people being VERY nice and leaning into the feelsy fun! 💛

holy moly ??? i love the new 666 addition aaaah 😭🙏 the trials and tribulations of feeling scorned and ghosted by a loser who confessed his love to you and the next time you see him he’s holding your LITERAL heart in his hands by alastor ! OMFG this was too good esp the part where vox is like “bro why do YOU CARE ?? i thought you didn’t love me huh?” and alastor is like well. maybe i.do. 😐 LIKE CMONN this really played out like some soap drama and i loved the neat details on resuscitative thoroctomy (learned a new word too so double bonus) the fact vel was on the line w her and val’s apparent surgeon for val’a little ‘incidents ??? GOLDEN I SAYY hope we see more of ur oc … 🫣🫣 btw ofc vox would love to an end an argument with a kiss OF FUCKING COURSE HE WOULD 😭 thank u sm for this chapter princeliest my dear <3 hope life is treating u well too !! -🦌

Vox is ahead of Alastor in terms of effective in-the-moment conflict resolution, but goddamn if he isn't fucked up in his own fun little ways. They're so not done with most of these issues, but at least they're on they're way to maybe be able to have a real conversation about them!

You know. If they chose to do that kind thing. Instead of whatever they will probably do instead.

Anyway, THANK YOU!! I had a great deal of fun writing this chapter and digging into some of the issues that have been slowly collecting underneath the surface of kinky radiostatic, so I'm happy you guys are enjoying as well!! :D

AS FOR MY OC... I WILL POST ABOUT THEM SOON. I LOVE THEM A LOT AND IT EXCITES ME THAT PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW MORE OF THEM. Tysm for asking Q^Q

Just read the new addition to the 666 verse, and inside of me are two wolves: The first is saying: Immaculate, artistry of the highest form. We finally get Alastor’s own confrontation with his vulnerability and him trying to figure out what exactly the relationship with Vox means to him. Cannot wait for how this all is going to develop. The other part of me: THE BREADCRUMBS WORKED THE MUSE IS WRITING!!! Followed by this image (since tumblr won’t let me attach it while being anonymous) https://i.redd.it/hx2shk642vs71.jpg -🕊️

LMAO THAT PIC. Amazing, flawless, thank you. The breadcrumbs DEFINITELY worked, please keep feeding. Digging into Alastor's shit is bringing me life and I'm happy to share it, hahaha. We're swinging even harder on the introspection in the next one!

As a sucker for medical gore and aroace angst, I lack the words to express my love and appreciation for your most recent installment of 666, but your writing of radiostatic's dynamic was captivating and proved to be such a lovely read as always! I loved that you touched on Alastor's relationships with the women around him as that has always been such an interesting aspect of his character to me! I never really put much thought into how Vox's apparent avoidance of Alastor in the show could mirror Alastor's disappearance, and now it will Not leave my mind. My heart hurts for these two dorks, super looking forward to chapter 2!

"Medical gore and aroace angst" should be the title of my memoir. Honestly, this series has ended up a lot more edgy-bloody than I expected it to, since I usually tend to prefer to portray my whump/angst/violence/etc in a much more roundabout way, but it's actually kinda tipped over into, like... part of the point is how banal it is, how beside the point. The upsetting heavy-hitting bits aren't the blood, they're everything else that goes on around it. Anyway, thank you so much! <3 I think your heart will find some relief in chapter two, haha, I hope you enjoy!!

Meanwhile alastor, completely convinced that there’s no situation where vox actually loves him and is happy with the way things are—either vox wants more and is going to start asking for more, or he doesn’t actually love him and just wants to have sex with him and thus either way he is a Liar. They’re so fucking bad at this. No one is capable of being the adult here. I think they need an auspitice.

It's really funny that you said that, because that is kind of exactly the role that [spoiler] ends up playing, though in a more roundabout way, hahaha. They certainly need someone to, like, get them to be having the same conversation with each other instead of two parallel ones. I think the fun thing about writing Alastor reacting to his own feelings is just how much his reaction can change based on how things are framed for him, and it leaves a lot of wiggle room for how differently I've ended up writing him reacting to the season 1 finale in 666 vs in Happily Ever After, and Other Shit Nepotism Can't Buy.

But, god, you really nailed the description of what Alastor is feeling. <3

Vox in the latest 666, my ENTIRE HEART. Literally nothing about how he read the situation was a bad take or a leap to conclusions, but alastor constantly says the opposite of what he means and refuses to admit vulnerability or friendship and what the hell else was vox meant to do with that, of course he backed off, they need to have this talk so badly

YES, PRECISELY! Like, I hope it came through that really neither of them was completely crazy to react the way they did! It's a result of how much of their communication has been nonverbal, implied, and talking around things - they'd been doing so well up until this point, but there's only so far that can take you before you start thinking that you're on the same page when really you're reading two completely different books! Thank you sm! <3

‘But I am capable,” Alastor says gently. “I love you very much.” Vox gapes up at him. “...I. Fuck you.” His voice is tight, strained. “I don’t fucking believe you.” Alastor feels his smile thin. “Well. That’s just dandy, then, isn’t it?”’ I AM NOT OK GOING FUCKING FERAL

Probably one of my favorite lines to write, ehehehe. THANK YOU ANONNNN <3 It's kinda interesting to see how differently some people read this. Some folks thought Alastor was saying it to hurt Vox (which is how Vox read it). Some folks thought it was true (how Alastor intended it). Some folks thought Alastor was trying to fit into the mold that he thought Vox wanted from him (how I intended it). All of them make sense as readings! >:)

[yoyomomiko]

Friends with a secret

CHAPTER 3 - (💖)

Craig Tucker x F!reader

Summary: When you and your mother move into South Park, you expect everything to be horrible. Luckily, you find comfort in your new friend group. Despite their warnings about Craig Tucker and his gang, you still managed to befriend the boy. But, there's something more to it, and you're not sure how much longer you can keep it as a secret, or how much longer you can keep it away from your friend, Craig.

(A/N): I finally got to chapter 3!! I should warn you that English isn't my first language, so I apologize for any upcoming mistakes!! I hope you enjoy this I took sooo long to write it and I rushed it so bad! CRINGE!

WORDS: 1.9k

< CHAPTER 2 — CHAPTER 4 >

The week flew by fast with all of the adventures you and your new friends have gone onto. It was already Monday, the day you dreaded the most. The start of the school year, and your very first day of school in South Park.

You woke up to the sound of your alarm clock going off, wich you quickly shut down. You had mentally prepared yourself for school the day before, although you're not sure it's enough.

You went downstairs, still in your pjs. Your mother was gone, but luckily there was some breakfast and a note saying "I left for work, eat well and have fun at school - ♡"

You were grateful that she at least cooled for you. After you were done eating, you rushed to the bathroom, brushed your teeth and pretty much just got ready for the day.

You quickly grabbed your backpack and bolted out the door, the snow crumpling beneath your boots. You admired the way ice covered the streets, enjoying the cold air hitting your exposed skin.

You made it to the bus stop, noticing Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny already there. You were glad you made friends, at least the first day of school could be easier for you. You went up to them, waving and starting to chat with them.

Soon enough, the bus arrived, and you all got in. Stan completely left you guys and sat besides a girl with long black hair, while Kyle and Kenny sat next to each other, wich meant you were stuck with sitting next to Cartman. What a great way to start the day...

"Move bitch." Cartman pushed past you, sitting next to the window. You scoffed, but decided it was best not to say anything. You sat down in your seat as the bus drove off to your new school. The bus was crazy, kids yelling, throwing stuff and even themselves. If the ride was this crazy, then how crazy would the school be?

-----------------

You arrived, already in your class, led by Stan and the rest, standing close to Kyle's desk. You didn't encounter any bullies, or anything bad for now, wich you figured was great. You wanted to make more friends, although you didn't know how to approach them. You didn't want to make a fool of yourself on the first day of school!

Just then, a blonde haired girl came up to you, a wide smile glued to her lips. She looked nice, confident too.

"Hey, you're new in town, right?" She asked you, to wich you nodded. "Yeah, moved here about a week ago..." You replied, shrugging. You already felt awkward, wanting the ground to open up and swallow you whole...

"My name's Bebe, what about you?" The girl, Bebe, asked, raising a brow. "I'm Y/N... Wanna, uh, be friends?" You introduced yourself then offered the request, giving a nervous smile.

"Sure! That's why I came up to you." Bebe held a reassuring smile, patting your shoulder. You let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding, loosening up from your stiff and tense posture. Maybe you shouldn't be embarassed, it's no big deal, the kids here seem pretty nice for now. Except Cartman, and maybe Craig.

Speak of the devil, there he was. He walked into class lazily, his eyes uninterested and bored. You noticed his blue chullo hat, again. It stood out, you had to admit. For some reason... Even after Stan's words and the first encounter with Craig, you didn't feel like he was a bad person. Maybe that was just a terrible first impression. Maybe he wasn't too bad either, but who knows?

Just then, the teacher walked inside the classroom, everyone going to their assigned seats, meanwhile you just stood in the middle of the class. The teacher, Mr Garrison, introduced you as a new student, and then made you sit in the only empty chair left, wich was next to Craig's desk.

You sat down silently, all while looking towards Craig, who seemed uninterested, ignoring your presence. You focused on the teacher, listening to the lesson. You rested your cheek on your palm, elbow propped up on your new desk. You shot a few glances towards Craig, who just looked like he would fall asleep any moment now. He didn't look rude, he just looked... Unbothered. You could handle that, you didn't mind it one bit. Maybe you could befriend him! But then again... Stan warned you about him.

-----------------

After boring lessons wich surprisingly and luckily flew by faster than you thought, lunch started. You got your tray of food and sat down with Kyle, Stan, Kenny and unfortunately Cartman. Sitting down with them was like a whole adventure. Even though you hated the constant bickering from Kyle and Cartman. They were fun, they amused you, made you laugh. You liked them, words wich would've made any other person call you crazy.

Just then, you felt a tap on your shoulder. For some reason, you wished it was Craig. You turned your head around, only to notice a familiar face, Bebe. She was holding her own tray of food, smiling at you. You raised a brow, although still forcing a polite smile.

"Don't you wanna sit with us?" She asked, her head nodding towards the black haired girl that Stan sat with earlier on the bus. You were skeptical, you didn't know what to say. You've made it half way through lunch, and you were almost done with your food. Even so, you still agreed, nodding your head and standing up from your seat, picking up your tray of food.

You sat down at an empty table, with the two other girls. "Oh, by the way, I'm Wendy." The girl, Wendy, introduced herself. You nodded, smiling. "And I guess you know by now, I'm Y/N." Wendy nodded, her hands resting in her lap. Bebe was twirling her hair while eating, looking towards you.

"You're tense." Bebe pointed out. You gulped, eyebrows raising and cheeks heating up. You didn't exactly know what to say, you just felt shy and awkward. Sure, you could talk with Kyle and the rest, but that's only because they didn't have any shame whatsoever! And also because you got to hang out with them for a whole week.

"Yeah, sorry, I guess It's just all new to me, you know?" You tried to speak properly, wich fortunately you managed. "Don't worry, it's alright! How about you get to know us more, so you can loosen up?" Bebe continued, her voice more soft now. You were glad she understood, and also because she wanted to make you feel comfortable with them.

And with that, you spent the rest of the lunch break talking with them, learning new things about them and the whole school. They were also fun, and you were glad you've already made so many friends.

Although, there was another thing... For some reason, you kept glancing around the whole cafeteria, scanning the place, hoping to notice a familiar blue chullo hat. Wich, luckily, you did, seeing him sit at the table with a few other boys. You saw him crack a smile, and you must admit, that made your heart skip a beat. You didn't know why, you just couldn't understand the feeling.

-----------------

The school bell rang, indicating the end of the school day. Students rushed in the hallways, trying to escape this hell of a prison. It was so crowded, almost too crowded. You were supposed to walk home with Kyle, Stan and Cartman. You frantically looked around, trying to spot Kyle's green ushanka, but to no avail.

After the hallways cleared up a bit, you realized there was no sign of Kyle. He must've already been outside, hopefully waiting for you so that you wouldn't have to walk home alone, and God forbid, with Cartman.

Your pace quickened, looking down to the floor, lost in your own thoughts. Before you knew it, you bumped into someone, almost falling backwards, but regaining balance. You looked up, only to see the familiar face of Craig.

"I'm sorry, so sorry, I didn't mean to..." You trailed off, muttering apologies, avoiding eye contact. Craig's brows furrowed togheter, eyeing you up and down.

"It's alright." He replied, your gaze fixating on him. His voice was just as bored as he was, monotone. You nodded, clutching your backpack straps.

"Just watch where you're going." He said, placing a hand on your shoulder, then walking away. You didn't realize you were staring, lost in a daze. His touch was warm, and you kinda missed it. You shook the thoughts away, rushing through the hallways and out of the school.

Once you were outside, you stopped to catch your breath, panting. You were feeling yourself heat up from the run. You scanned the area, trying to find one of your friends, but there was no sign of them. They left without you, what jerks...

Just then, you felt the presence of someone stop besides you. You looked next to you, only to see Craig. You thought that he also already left and went home, but apparently not. He looked towards you, and you raised your eyebrow in confusion.

"Who are you walking home with?" He asked, glancing away from you. Why was he even asking? You stared at him, confused, although you still answered. "Alone." You muttered as a reply, looking away.

"Me too." He responded, his gaze back on you. You nodded your head, feeling shy all of the sudden. He mumbled something under his breath, though you couldn't hear. You walked away from him quickly, not being able to handle the embarassment.

You looked back, only to see he was walking in the same direction. Well crap, he must've lived in the same direction as you, then. You cursed yourself in your head, though you kept walking, slowing down while in thought. He caught up to you, walking slower along with you. He wanted to strike up a conversation, but he didn't know how to start.

"When did you move here?" He asked, his tone still sounding uninterested. You glanced towards him. "A week ago." You replied, trying to keep focus. The both of you began talking, the conversation leading from one to another. Surprisingly, you had fun talking to him. You thought he was rude, after hearing Stan's words. He was actually a cool guy!

You didn't realize that you already made it home. You looked towards your house, silencing yourself for a second. You glanced back towards him with a smile.

"I gotta go now. See you tomorrow at school!" You shouted, rushing to your front door. He just stood there, looking at you. You waved towards him, and in response, he flipped you off. You giggled as you shut the door, and Craig finally left.

He wasn't rude, you knew it. That really was just a bad first impression back at the convenience store! You couldn't figure out why Stan was so mad at him, why he trash talked him and made you think that Craig was a horrible person.

You didn't care right now, all that mattered was that you finally got home. You didn't have any homework, since it was just the first day, and you were grateful for that. You didn't even realize you were smiling. The rest of the day was a blur. Somewhere at 7 PM, your mother finally came home, and brought you some fast food for dinner since she didn't have the time to cook.

South Park wasn't so bad after all.

★yoyomiko ★miko

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Hiii me again. I failed economics but i think i can get my grade up

Anywho, how are you?? Im great, working on another fic, even though the others still arent finished,,,,,,i am almost finished w this one tho. It deals w some darker themes later, but that's only because there's a super fancy rich people only school involved. Major downside, i dont know anything abt universities! Do they teach theather and robotics in the same place?? They should, i think it could lead to some great innovations. Hamilton but w roombas.

Happy to report that Spider only gets tortured once this time! And also hes not w quaritch or the recoms most of the time but whether or not thats a good thing is up for debate. Also reporting that chapter 3 of ghost spider is coming along and boy oh boy is spider being spooky!

Anyhow, see ya on the next chapter!!

HI BESTIE! You definitely can, please don't stress. I failed a class in college after I first transferred, you can really get past it! It happens to more people than you'd think, it's hard!

I'm so good thank you for asking, just exhausted from my move and all my unpacking, and I'm excited to be done with unpacking and have time to invest into my work and you guys again!

I'm very intrigued by this fic idea!! It depends on the school, but most big ones definitely teach both those things but they'd likely be in different buildings. In my experience, it means that the robotics will be in a state of the art new building and theater will be in the shittiest, oldest building you've ever laid eyes on. This was true at both my colleges.

Great, I am reaching a level of insanity with Spider angst. I'm gonna have to start pumping out positive Spider headcanons, I can't handle it. Even if we create an angsty au, just know I'm sure that it can be fixed and the comfort will be insane and that's why I'm entertaining it. Guys, I literally think we can come back from the nocorro ghost au just trust me on this one. I know it might not happen in your fic but I think it can happen!!

Also it's not up for debate, fuck those hoes. I refuse to believe they would be a good time even a little bit. Their idea of fun is who can kidnap the most innocent children the fastest.

I will see you there and I will be FERAL in the comments, babe.

[zorilleerrant]

10 first lines challenge

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able to and see if there are any patterns!

Thanks, @im-not-buying-it-ether!

Billy Batson in the Wrong Dimension - The Rock is glowing, like it has some agenda of its own in mind.

Incentive Structure - Dagny had never wanted anything more than to work on a train.

but my dreams they aren't as empty - Jason Todd wakes to the smell of breakfast cooking, and if he keeps his eyes closed, he can pretend it’s Alfred making his favorites.

A Great Deal - “I think there are many dead ends to human greed, actually,” Kemble said, with a sigh.

Just a Moment of Peace - You open your lips to speak the words I need to hear, and it’s different up there on the pulpit where the same words cross your tongue, caress your smile, and pause to wrap around a solitary moment of peace.

The Burden of the Sword - He watches his sister leave.

They Call Me Her - Thom calls her Alan.

One Face, One Voice, One Habit, and Two Persons - My sister is well known for freeing the Roane.

Growth Like A Nurtured Vine - T’Lyn has never been in love.

Tendi and T'Lyn at Their Table - Tendi, her voice loud (but pleasant, lyrical, a rhapsody of ranges that makes it clear why another would look at her with that expression), hands clasped (in joy, in celebration of news I know not and am not concerned by), leaning forward (they always lean, so many of them, as if to grasp the next chapter of the story as soon as there’s time for it to be told).

This is great because it actually offers a good cross section of different types of things I've written. And it's cool to see that the two that stand out are the experimental styles! (I mean, the first is experimental to me, but is pretty common in general. The second one is genuinely weird.) But, like, you can see what the rest of them have it common!

I like to start in media res, and I knew that, but it's fun to see that whether something is happening, or I'm giving backstory, it's all setup. I like to call this (facetiously) the 'thesis statement' of a story, and you know, they do fit a lot of the elements I would say are important when crafting an opening sentence! They all establish some aspect of the writing style, and introduce of the main preoccupations the story has. I would also say that, relative to the writing style, they're generally kind of short and punchy, which is pretty neat to see.

(This is what's up on AO3 but I'm happy to check the last ten stories I published to tumblr if anyone wants to see if we get a different vibe to the opening sentences.)

@hungry-hyena @confusedshades @teashoesandhair come play this game with me

[a-complex-joke]

The Toymaker Chapter 3

MASTERLIST

"Morning Pen, Hot chocolate?" Ruby said as I walked in.

"Actually no I'm in the mood for tea today, got earl grey," I said sitting at the container.

"Oh fancy, but what's up, changing your order so out of the blue is everything alright" she placed a hand on mine.

"Nothing wrong just feels like things are changing for the better, something different I just don't know what," I say thinking it over.

"Oh so you noticed the old clock working as well, Regina is finally getting this town fixed up" she joked.

"I don't think Regina has or ever will care for this town, she just likes the power of being mayor"

"I would appreciate less bad-mouthing out of you Miss banks," the all too familiar voice of Regina said behind me.

"Your coffee miss madam mayor," Ruby said becoming more mannerly.

"I don't understand why gold lets your toy store stay it's not like you get any business"

"Actually, if I was pushed out someone else would come along and who knows how loud and annoying they'd be, plus I have an inside voice rule"

She rolled her eyes before swiftly leaving

"Why does, Gold let you stay, you never pay rent," Ruby said

"I really don't know I swear" I laughed.

Gold's Prawn shop and Banks toystore pretty funny coincidences maybe it's just something to laugh at and that's why he lets me stay.

"I've never cared to ask, maybe he's in love with me" I joked

We laughed.

"Trust me, girl you could do so much better than him, maybe Leroy" she jested, earning us a middle finger from the man.

"Morning Emma" Ruby greeted the blonde.

She awkwardly waved sitting next to me,'

"Your that Toy store girl right, Mandy Brink? Was it" she said trying to make conversation.

"Penny Banks, So your Henry's mother, finally come to take him away from the evil queen" I joked.

"Oh you know about Henry's Fairy tale conspiracy," she said.

"What? I don't talk to the kid much, just the grapevine knowledge, what's this conspiracy?" I asked curiously.

"I don't think I should say, I'm only staying a week, don't want to cause more trouble than I already have"

"Nah we could use some excitement here, the most fun I have had in a long time was when a kid in my shop tripped and yelled, fuck you floor ill kill your mother"

Emma looked like she was trying to figure out whether It was a joke or not.

"Speaking of my shop, I've got to go see you around."

The days went on Eventually Emma moved in with Mary-Margaret and is staying most likely forever and yet I still have paid no rent to Gold.

"Oh Well Hello Miss Banks, heading home for the night," Gold said Locking his shop.

"Yeah, I mean I was going to go grab something to eat before but still" I laughed.

"Would you mind if I joined you, Haven't had much to eat myself"

I nodded and we started walking toward Grannie's

"So, This I kind of a weird question, Why don't you charge me rent like ever? Id think id be the first on your rent rounds" I joked.

"Let's just say, Ive owed you a great deal of things, this is just part of that"

"I have no idea what you're talking about but I'm just gonna say I'm content with it?"

"Oh, I've just realized I left something back at the shop, you go ahead ill catch up," he said waddling back.

I arrived and waited outside of the place for Gold, But he didn't show, the place closed and I started to panic, I rushed back to the shop.

"Mr. Gold?" I said as I opened the door of his shop, the window of the door had been broken, and on the floor lay, Gold bleeding out of his head.

"Oh god, should I call someone" panic has now been ramped up.

I pulled a rag from my pocket and pressed it to his head, he hissed a bit.

"Oh good your alive, hold this, and apply pressure, Im gonna call someone"

"No, I'm fine no need to call," he said trying to sit up.

"What happened"

"Ashley Boyd, she broke in and stole the contract we had, then bonked me over the head when I caught her."

I help Gold back to his place before leaving for my own and the next day Emma went on the search for the teen mother.

[ssreeder]

ALSKFJG to be fair Reedy i for one am not complaining about the length over here, there's a thrill to each update. Idk if I've mentioned before that the first thing i do when I'm scrolling through ao3 is to set my filters tl show only complete works. I'm not strong enough to deal with uncompleted works, but at the same time, if i go on too long like that, i end up missing the thrill of just... Going along for the ride, checking when there's an update, hyping myself uo when there IS and I'm not ready to deal with it, taking a moment to breathe after i read it, get lost in the possibilities of what's to come until the next chapter comes out

Like... It is fun, to be able to enjoy a story to it's fullest extent, and there's a certain joy that can't be replicated by reading it all in one sitting, a joy that comes from having to sit with what you have and *wonder*

And BOI am i fucking wondering what's going to happen, i have a ticking time bomb stressing me out constantly in the form of a somewhat unhinged but ultimately baby 14 year old called Azula, and meanwhile zuko is sneaking into sokka's bedroom and I'm just here sitting watching reading knowing that's just BEGGING for trouble bc WHAT IF SOMEONE COMES IN, and also toph absolutely knows bc she literally can feel the extra heartbeat but she minds the business that pays her

I hope it's that, anyways, and not toph waiting for the moment to bully sokka, which i WOULD appreciate but... I wouldn't wish to be sokka for that if that's the plan. And talking about bullying. JET JET JET JET. You've got me over here stressed out for jet waking up bc like... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH. PAIN. I WANT HIS PAIN. I CRAVE HIS SUFFERING. I NEED TO SEE WHAT HE'LL DO NOW. Reedy what have you done to me. You have me rooting for jet. In a twisted backwards way but still

And katara deserves the world, she has no idea what's coming and god will she hate it but she's doing her best she deserves some vacations. They're not coming tho. Bc as soon as jet wakes up to cause problems on purpose she'll probably find out zukka is a thing and she still doesn't like zuko so the poor girl is bound for whiplash and then the water tribe is getting into ba sing se but not for long! Because Azula is a menace and she's out for blood and i oove her but that kid needs to be adopted soon before she burns the world (is she going to get adopted? Puppy eyes over here begging for her to be adopted. She'd look great in water tribe blue) (i know that's not what this story is about but a guy can dream ok?)

Anyways. This is what you do when you leave me to think about the future of the story for too long. The possibilities are simmering in my brain

-Fragile heart

Hahaha - well we are officially on this journey together pal! Im glad you hopped on before we got to the end lol.

Im confident a certain earth bender knows that a certain highly strung fire bender is sneaking in through the window at night. Im sure she is just waiting for the right time to commence the teasing.

Jets awakening won’t be next chapter but the one after that! (I couldn’t fit it all this next chapter haha) but it’ll be a mess I can assure you that.

Katara isn’t getting a break anytime soon! & no I’m sure she won’t be THRILLED to find out about zukka mostly because her interaction with Zuko doesn’t go so smoothly next chapter ha……. Oops

As for azula…. Hmmm….. we’ll see ;)

[quintenrosenburgwrites]

EEE IT WAS GREAT!!! I LOVED READING IT!!! I CANT WAIT TO MEET THE REST OF THE FAZBEAR GANG AND LEARN MORE ABOUT OLI!! IM SO INTRIGUED!

Questions and thoughts I had while reading!:

Do all humans have magic? Or is it just Oliver? Or I know Vanessa changed the badge back but was that a mechanism in the badge itself?

How long was Oliver following crypteds for before he joined fazbear?

NOOOO POOR CHICA 😭. GOOD ON OLIVER FOR AT LEASE GIVING HER A LITTLE BREAK.

Oof. Oli’s speed running getting fired the way they talk back. Maybe subtlety is what’s needed here?

Oooo hopefully Henery called Vanny back in to fire those scientists >:( at least Chica wasn’t re restrained? progress???

:O URPLE GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BIGGER GASP. HELPY!!!!!

Oooo Potential menacing wall of helpys. There is no end, submit to the help /silly

FRICK UEAH VANNEY GOT SUSPENDED

An apology? From Henery?? Doubt >:|

Hehehe Oliver’s getting so much walking done today. Five bucks says they get lost again

Booo urple guy ruined my bet. He’s the janitor? Does. …does he work the Night Shift?

HAHAHAHAHA MICKEY D’S IS A GREAT NICKNAME. PFFTT MIKE WAZOWSKI

BWAHAHAHA OLIVERS NICKNAMING SKILLS ARW MY FAVORITE. HANKLES XDDDD

Huh hankles actually feels bad? Guess it’s a good thing Oli joined! otherwise he wouldn’t have known!

Oli. Oliver no don’t Talk to your boss like that /concern. Hehehe the person they hit with paper turns out to be William /silly

EGGS BENEDICT

Yay Chica gets food!!!

:DDD I'm glad you liked it! I'll try and answer all of your questions! (Also responding to the reactions bc those are incredibly fun to read LOL)

It's not just Oliver, but it's not all humans either! It'll be expanded on a bit further in the next chapter

They were following cryptids around from 16 to 19, up until they found out about Fazbear Containment. They didn't really have anything better to do, and even if it was only 3 years they learnt a lot!

Yeahhh it's gonna take a while for all of them to be treated right. Oliver's probably gonna end up being like. the moral council or something LMAO

They um. Impulse control is not their specialty SDJFSDKLJFKL if they think something and it gets past the singular filter they have (which is EXCLUSIVELY for moral stuff) they're saying it and dealing with the consequences later

The only thing I will say about this is Vanny is definitely gonna be playing a bigger role later but not the one you might expect, same thing with Henry :)

urple :DDD also I PROMISE he isn't william i wanted to make a storyline that follows a different villain bc. also do not remember the reasoning for this but I do wanna clarify William Afton will not be showing up (at least in person) unless i change my mind later! Normally I don't like spoiling that kinda stuff but I don't wanna accidentally make anything misleading :D

Helpy is so underrated I needed to include him in this

If an AI uprising ever happens, you'll know who it REALLY is /j

>:DDDDDDD

(Using this space to apologize in advance if Henry is ooc, I dont remember shit about him aside from like the basics of what he did, so im kinda just making it up as I go LMAO)

They cancelled their gym membership cause they're already getting all the exercise they need while trying to navigate their new job /j

:) yet another situation where he will play a big role but probably not the one you'd expect!

coming up with those was the most fun part of writing this LMAO

I was having such a hard time with Henry's nicknames. like. i almost had Oliver call him Henjamin franklin.

Hankles becoming increasingly horrified at the conditions the cryptids are living in:

Oliver would've definitely already been fired if they hadn't been put in this job as a way for the government to try and contain them (half joking here. uh. also will be expanded upon later) and the person hit with the paper will always be William in my heart /silly

My thought process: "Hmmmm... What do I name this random scientist? He needs a name, obviously. Even though he will probably never be mentioned again. What name can i use that will be a funny reference.......... oh my god im a genius" /hj

Oliver teaching themself how to cook so they can bring her a five course meal as an apology for all the shit she's had to deal with the past several weeks:

[windalchemist001]

Grim was currently eating something in his pet pack (i would need to check what that imp snuck in there later since I've told him not to just toss trash on the ground) while I was going to speak to my vp, since I had the most current chapter of the story along with the story board for the next episode we've been working on and I had to run them by him to discuss how we needed to deal with a few things for it.

Over the months I've come to learn many paths and ways though the cerberus dorm aka dog dorm (depends on my mood on what I decide to call it). But than again it sort of obvious as to why since most of my club members were from here, which I why we did sometimes meet here rather than the classroom we normal had meetings at.

Soon I would keep walking and while inwould expected to meet him in his room, it seemed my vp had to leave it for a bit and thus I had came a upon him in the hall way which I did my best to wave at him with full arms.

The male who had been walking paused and turn towards me and begin walking till the both of us meet in the middle. "Hey pres' I'm guessing you have the next installment?" He chuckled as I nodded.

"Ehyup, honestly im super excited, I just hope the readers will enjoy it, also not to make you suffer the story bored is also done as well."

The male laughed and nodded. After all we did do this to ourselves, but hey its fun to see your hard work reach far. And

The praises also helped with fueling the flames as well.

"So should we head to your room or should we had back to ramshackle to deal with?" After all this was a somewhat private thing, but than again the lounge here did have more space to spread things out and if we called the others they could act as guards and look outs to warn us if anyone was coming which we have in fact done more than once.

"I think a take over might be best since its going to be quite a bit of work and we're going to need the space since your so short." The male was laughing.

Unamused I quickly shot back at him "I can and will kick you in the shins." While I was glaring i couldn't keep the smile off my face showing I wasn't really that mad about it.

So thus me and my vp head to the lounge as I had ny hands full the male beside me sent out a mass text since by time we got there the others had started to already arrive.

I greeted them half glad that the animator also made an appearance since I wouldn't have to explaining more than once, though that means the comic would have to wait. A few extra of the guys seemed to only be waiting for me and the vp before they moved to take their spots guarding the entrances to the rooms so that way we can quickly hide or put away things should anyone need to come by.

Which honestly I was greatful though I was even more happy that after having set up and make to talk grim out of the pet pack so he can continue his nap on the couch (and clean it a bit as well) more of the look outs from the other dorms had come only popping in to great us before popping back out to join the other ones.

Honestly everyone in this group of mine were a true blessing and I can only pray that after all our hard work we all get recognized for all the work every single one of us have done to make our dreams our dreams come true.

Smiling softly I begin to go to work with everyone in hopes to get a bit further in our project.

[everlastingremorse-blog]

We are officially in spoiler zone. From this point, spoilers for In Sound Mind.

So, before we get into the good (and it is really good), I want to get into the bad. Now, this criticism is coming from a place of love. This game was amazing! It’s just in my instinct that when I love something I want to rip it to shreds so I can look at all the little parts.

Now, before we begin, I want to say I played this game on the hardest mode except for a little bit at the ending. It’s possible that some of the problems I faced could have not been an issue in an easier game mode. That being said, I don’t think Harder should mean more frustrating. And I know that’s absolutely easier said than done, but still. I wanted something that was more of a challenge, not something that was more of a headache. How to do that, Im not entirely sure, but still.

Let’s start with Alan Shore. He’s the second patient you investigate, but his tape wasn’t as good as it could have been.

Unlike the other characters, when he’s chasing you, he auto locks onto you. Unlike the other bosses, you cannot stealth away from him. He knows where you are and will try to get to you, and you just wait in a light for him to leave. I think this is to add some variety to the game play, because like I said, he’s the only character that works like that.

Unfortunately, it’s not fun. It’s really annoying and tedious and kinda just annoying to deal with. You can get him off of you by either shining your light on him (and getting hurt no matter what) or shoot him with a gun or flare gun (and waste ammo). The thing is that I didn’t want to hurt Allen, but it just makes sense to hurt him from a gameplay perspective.

This is called Ludonarrative dissonance, where there is a clear divide between how the game is played and the narrative of the game. (Think yu-gi-oh/shadowverse. You’re trying to save the world by playing a card game. Maybe just punch each other. It’s different in shadowverse, but that’s not what this post is about.)

Anyways, there’s a lot of ludonarrative dissonance in Allen Shore’s chapter. He is very socially awkward person who tends to isolate himself… so why is he the one that’s always attacking you? Like his whole thing is that he feels like he’s stuck in the bottom of a pit. That he’s isolating himself, so why is he attacking me?

And there’s absolutely something there! Sometimes a mental illness makes you destructive to the people around you. I don’t think he wants to hurt you, but he’s doing it accidentally (kinda). There’s something there, I just don’t necessarily agree with how it’s done.

Furthermore, you get a flare gun in his chapter. This let’s you burn up darkness, an obstacle you can’t deal with before. It also gets Allen to leave you alone… and that’s it. The flare gun isn’t a useful weapon against anyone else and can only be used to get weird trick shots on explode barrels. Sometimes later in the game, they’ll just have random pools of darkness that kinda give justification for the flare gun, but they could just remove those and the game wouldn’t necessarily change.

And this is really annoying because you literally face a “bull” in the next level. You know what would have been great, if the bull chased the red flare. I think I read somewhere that you can use it to stun him, but I would vastly prefer if he saw the flare and chased after it. This would give more use to the item, and add a new layer to your inventory management. You can only carry five flares at a time, so do you lose a flare, or do you try to outrun it? I would have preferred that option, especially because you get an automatic stun later in that level!

The next enemy could have also been stunned this way. When I hit him with it, he just shrugged it off basically immediately. It would make sense that causing a ton of light would cause a lens flare that helps you escape, but no, he just shrugs it off.

Now one part that also annoyed me was with the bull I mentioned before. There’s this one part where he has to charge you, and you quickly run out of the way so that he breaks through the wall. This would have been fun to use the flare gun, but I digress. No my problem with this section is that it’s impossible to do without getting hurt, which is very frustrating. It’s ESPECIALLY frustrating when the bull stops in front of you to do a different attack from the charge. Which he does A TON. It was super frustrating.

The next enemy, “The Flash,” just sticks onto you way too hard. Like if he’s on you, it’s basically impossible to get away from him. That’s hyperbole, but it is really really annoying to deal with.

Those were the major things (excluding what I’m about to get to). There were some minor things like sometimes aiming/parkour is hard to do on switch, but I blame the switch more than I do the game.

But none of those were awful. Like, even though Allen was annoying, he wasn’t game breaking. The flare gun not used, annoying, but like, so what. No, the one thing that I think was absolutely wrong was the final boss fight. It was absolutely garbage. And it’s so sad because it didn’t even ruin the game. I still fucking love it, but I don’t EVER want to play that ending again. I kinda have an urge to play the other parts, but that ending? Absolutely not.

The ending constantly has barrels that explode coming for you. It’s not too bad except that they all basically one shot you no matter what difficulty you’re on. Literally, sometimes they’ll take you down 5 health, other times they’ll take 70 health. And I switched to easy because I though “oh, it’s because I’m on hard.�� No, it’s fucking office. And it’s not TOO hard to dodge… except when you’re dealing with all the little enemies chasing after you. Which is basically always. And further on the fight, you have to let them hit you, so you basically have the same problem as the bull from before. This was absolutely intentional, but god damn you could have done it better.

Also, I’m the second to final section, the boss will have these huge aoe attacks that are impossible to dodge and aren’t telegraphed well. Like, it’ll make the ground turn read before it happens, but it’s not for a lot of time, and sometimes you have absolutely NO CHANCE to dodge it. And those hits are sometimes 1 hit KOs. Which is fucking awful and I hated it.

You beat the boss by using the previous tapes/levels to defeat it, because you’ve been able to learn from your patients, and that’s made you stronger. It has multiple sections, each reminiscent of a previous tape.

Except it didn’t do a good job of thematically tying itself into those tapes. You just use them when you get from point A to B because that’s what the fight tells you to do. You got a specific item in every tape/level of the game, but the only time you need to use them is for the last tape and at least ONCE for the flare gun.

The first item you get is a mirror that reveals the truth and can be used to cut tape… and in the first section of the final boss, you use it to cut tape. I would have absolutely preferred to use it in a cool way for something, using the mirror to find the truth. Maybe there were a bunch of tape recorders, and Virginia is pointing out the real one. That would have been cool, but didn’t happen.

The flare gun was only used to get rid of darkness in front of the tape (and maybe a few darknesses before). Imagine instead if you used the flare gun to call for help, like a flare gun usually does, and then boom, Allen Shore shows up and you can use the second tape recorder.

The third faze is the one reminiscent of the bull where you have to let the exploding stuff flying at you hit them. It would have been amazing if you had to use the lure pills (the item you get during the third tape) to get past the doors, but no, nothing cool like that.

And it’s not like the entire tape was bad, it had some AMAZING moments. Between the first and second phase, you can high five a mannequin that helped you along the way. I missed it the first time, so I went back and redid it. AND IT WAS SO FUCKING COOL M. I LITERALLY WAS INSTANTLY REENERGIZED TO KEEP GOING. But that’s the ONLY time they did it. They could have done something like that between each phase, but once again no. Between the second and third phase maybe a whale helps you get between them (it makes sense if you’ve played it.) I can’t think of something for the third and fourth phase (maybe a car taking out a bunch of enemies for you), but in between the fourth and final phase, Rosemary can come and help you. There was room to make the boss fight much more enjoyable, but it’s just kinda sad that it wasn’t.

But your character beats Agent Rainbow with a cool one liner and I literally jumped up in joy it was so fucking cool I literally said “Fuck yeah,” the ending of the story was amazing, the final gameplay was not.

So now that we got the bad out of the way, let’s get to the good.

OH! Also Allen gets associated with Icarus for some reason. It doesn’t make sense in any way and it just weird. But now onto the good stuff really.

Edit: one last thing I wanted to add (seriously this time) is something I said in the good post. The game ends with Agent rainbow coming back and basically telling you he’s still out there in the hearts of other. I think it would make sense if he survived in Desmond as a representation that overcoming trauma is a process that continues even after you think you finished.

Ok, so, In Sound Mind is an amazing game and you should definitely play it if you think you’d like it. So I’m gonna be posting a lot about it because I finished it and it’s super good.

So let’s start with what it is.

It’s a psychological survival horror indie game with a soundtrack by The Living Tombstone (‘you should’ve picked Mercy’ guy). If you’ve played any persona game, then it’s like if that was survival horror. It has some really cool ‘monster designs,’ that are like symbolic and stuff.

Anyways, you play Desmond Wales, a therapist who wakes up in the basement of your building. As you start to explore, you realize that the world isn’t quite what it seems, and you begin investigating the situations of your patients (one died, one is in a coma, and two are missing). While they at first seem unrelated, a large narrative and conspiracy starts to unravel.

Quick note, Tlt didn’t do the sound design, he just made 6 incredible songs for the game.

It’s made by this small indie company called We Create Stuff. It seems to be their first foray into an original IP that is a full game with a narrative and stuff. They have other games, but they’re not necessarily “games.” That mean. If you check out their website, you’ll see what I mean. They have other games, but In Sound Mind is their first game game.

Anyways, I’ll get more in depth in later posts, but we’ll end here rn because no spoilers.

[orcelito]

Crested 40k hits & I'm 5 away from 1000 kudos. And am I writing the next chapter for discacc?

No.

All brain power is currently dedicated to the trans oneshot idea I came up with last week after I had the brief thought of like "Man if Akira was trans and on T he had a HELL of a voice drop" and that's just how it is

[streamafterlaughter]

Fundamental Differing

gif credit

masterlist | playlist | chapter IV

Chapter V: Why Are You So Far Away?

rating: 18+ MDNI

summary: The tour family decides to celebrate a successful opening night, attempting to accept their fate as being stuck with each other for the next few months. You grow acutely aware of yourself, as well as of Eddie’s newfound pessimistic attitude.

tags/warnings: rockstar!eddie x rockstar!reader, gnc!reader, 90s AU, excessive alcohol consumption, (hard) drug use, eddie is an asshole, bff!steve, angst, hurt, mutual pining, brief smut

a/n: (for the sake of this fic let’s pretend the viper room opened in ‘92 instead of ‘93 yeah?) Hi everyone! Last chapter didn’t do so hot, im hoping i kicked up the Angst Level enough for this one to get y’all interested. i’m pretty proud of how this is turning out so far, and i’m finding i’m coming up with so many more ideas. sorry for typos, my fingers have been so cold all day. Disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted on other sites. Reblogs are more than welcome, but please inform me if you find my work elsewhere unless otherwise stated. Reblog to support the author!

——

September 1988

New York City, New York

“Eddie, I can smell her on your fucking clothes!” You slam the car door, intending on hailing a cab just to get away from him.

“Y/n, I swear, nothing happened. She’s just a groupie! She comes to all of our shows, we’re friends. We danced, that’s it! I don’t get why this is such a big deal.”

“Seriously? What’s not to get? You let these girls think they have a shot with you, you play with them until you get bored, and you come home to me smelling like cheap perfume, and you don’t see why that bothers me?! I swear, you’d let anything with half a brain ride you, and I’m tired of it.” You keep walking down 54th, unsure where you’re going at this point.

“What do you want me to do, Y/n? I can’t help how they act around me.”

“You can help how you act around them, and you don’t! Fuck off, I’ll get a hotel for the night. Don’t call me.”

“Don’t be stupid, come back with me. We can fix this.”

“There’s nothing to fix. I need space from you.”

“We leave tomorrow!”

“So give me until tomorrow!”

—

Present Day

Eddie’s POV

“We should celebrate!” Gareth passes him the joint they’re sharing, and Eddie rolls his eyes as he inhales.

“Celebrate what, exactly?”

“C’mon, man! Our first night of tour!” He backhands Eddie’s arm, and is met with a glare. He doesn’t retreat, though. “You don’t have to come, but I think you should. Could be fun.”

Eddie passes the joint to Jeff. “Maybe, I really need to shower first.” His shirt, damp with sweat, is tucked into his back pocket. Before he can escape, though, you and your bandmates enter the green room. Jeff passes you the joint, and you accept gratefully. Eddie can’t bring himself to look at you, but your presence looms over him like a cloud.

“You guys coming out tonight?” You ask, passing the joint to your drummer. Eddie doesn’t know her name, not having made the effort to meet the rest of your band after splitting up. “Heard the Viper had some room tonight, might be able to get in with you guys there.” You giggle, and Eddie can’t help but lock his eyes on you then. He catches yours, and watches as your smile falters only slightly. “No pressure, of course.” You speak directly to him, in front of everyone, and no one seems to notice the shift in your tone. Eddie does though.

“No, I think it’ll be fun.” He responds, more bitterly than he intends. He has no desire to party, not with you there, where he’s able to watch as guys, girls, and gender non conforming people alike attach themselves to you, begging to hook up. He knows he can have whoever he wants, so the thought of you getting picked up shouldn’t bother him, but he can’t wrap his mind around watching you with someone else.

“Great!” You clap your hands together. “It’s settled. I’ll call us a few cabs.” You pluck the joint from Eddie’s fingers, as casually as ever, and look right at him as you take another hit. He can’t bring himself to break eye contact, watching you push the smoke into your nose with your tongue. You hand the roach back to him, still lit. “See you later.”

-

Your POV

“What the fuck was that?!” Robin exclaims as you change out of your sweatpants and into a pair of shredded jeans.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Your voice is an octave above normal, and you sing your words with a tremble in your voice.

“You were flirting. Heavily!” Sylvie speaks up, brushing their hair back before tying it in a bun. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to get Munson all riled up!”

“As if.” You roll your eyes, but your cheeks burn with embarrassment. You’d known what you were doing, talking to Eddie like that. “I was testing the waters. Being civil.” You argue, earning groans from your friends. “Anyway, it’s not like he wants anything to do with me! And I want nothing to do with him. We’re just coworkers.”

Robin snorts. “Right, coworkers.”

“Cabs are here!” Steve peeks his head into your room, causing a commotion of shrieks from your half dressed bandmates.

“Knock much?!” Robin throws a rolled up pair of socks at Steve, nailing him right in the nose.

“Sorry! I’ll meet you outside!” The door clicks shut.

-

The Viper Room is packed, both with celebrities and those trying to become them. You exit your taxi shortly before the second pulls up, hauling Corroded Coffin’s members. As you climb out of the back seat, you’re met with the stench of booze and piss, the combination of fluids you’ve gotten used to in just the last few days.

Steve throws his arm over your shoulder, and does the same with Robin on his left side. “Ready to party?” He asks, dragging you both with him as the bouncer lets you inside. You feel Eddie shove past you, into the darkness, watching as he’s immediately swarmed by young, pretty girls in fishnets and tight dresses. Steve must notice your shift in demeanor, because he tightens his grip on you as you approach the bar.

“You were insane tonight! I’m so proud of you guys.” Steve sips his beer while you wait for your drink, a whiskey neat, and slams the bar with his free hand. He’s clearly already tipsy, having spent the whole night drinking while you performed.

“Thanks, Stevie. It really means a lot.” You thank the bartender as she hands you your glass, and watch as she does a double take.

“Oh my god, you’re Y/n! And you’re Robin!” She hands Robin her vodka soda with a now shaky hand.

“Yeah, hey!” Robin greets enthusiastically. “Nice to meet ya!”

“I caught your show tonight. Had to leave before CC to make my shift, but you guys rock. These are on me.” She waves Steve’s hand away as he tries to pay for the drinks.

“That’s so sweet, thank you!” You gulp your drink down. “Another?”

“Coming right up!” She scurries away to retrieve your drink.

“You’re practically celebrities!” Steve nudges you, and you let the alcohol in your bloodstream lighten your mood. Over Steve’s shoulder, you see Eddie and Garett, sitting in the middle of a gaggle of young women, one of which is sitting in his lap. Eddie catches your stare, but looks away quickly to the girl on top of him, whispering something in her ear. Her reaction suggests he’s said something naughty, covering her giggle with a dainty painted hand. You roll your eyes, and grab Steve’s wrist. “Come dance, big boy!”

Steve groans as you and Robin each pull him to the dance floor as Rhythm Is A Dancer blares through the club speakers. Steve twirls you around, then Robin, as Sylvia and Lilith find you in the sea of sweaty bodies. You laugh at Robin’s horrendous dance moves, letting the strobe lights and loud music take over your brain. You barely notice Eddie and the girl attached to him enter the floor. She grinds on him heavily, and he’s got his hands on her hips as she gyrates to the beat. You roll your eyes, annoyed by how easy he’s let himself be with his groupies. But it’s none of your business now, who he chooses to spend his time with. You wrap your arms around Steve’s neck, closing the gap between the two of you as Robin migrates to dancing with Lilith and Sylvia.

“You okay up there?” Steve taps your temple with his finger, his other hand resting gently on your waist. “Don’t think I can’t see what’s going on.”

You groan, resting your forehead on his shoulder. “Enlighten me then, what is going on?”

“You’re trying to make Eddie jealous, right? I mean, that’s why you’re dancing with me like this?”

“I'm that transparent, huh?”

Steve only chuckles. “Only because I’ve known you for six years. You don’t have to pretend you’re into me, Y/n, don’t worry. My feelings won’t be hurt. On top of that, you’ve been denying free drinks all night, and from decent looking people.”

You push a small laugh from your throat. “Please, I know that. Plus, I wouldn’t do that to Harley.” She’d been severely into Steve since meeting him years ago, and she’s been desperate for you to set her up with him. Steve is clueless, though, so you’re taking your time. “I’m not in the mood to entertain right now, I’d rather drink with you guys.”

The song ends, and you watch Eddie take the pretty girl off the floor, his arm linked with hers, and you book it to the bar for a third glass of hard liquor.

-

Eddie’s POV

He snorts the key bump she gives him as Just Like Heaven begins, a song he knows you love, blinking rapidly as he wipes the white powder from his nostrils. Coke isn’t his go to, but it gets the job of forgetting you done much faster. He tries to be subtle, watching as you dance with Steve, your arms clasped around his neck the way you used to dance with him, to nothing, in the living room of his uncle’s trailer. Now, though, he’s in the back of the club, surrounded by girls whose names he didn’t bother to ask, cutting lines as bottles of expensive liquor are brought over to him.

“Slow down, Ed, doesn’t look like Steve’s gonna be around to yank you into bed tonight.” Gareth nods his head toward your group, where you are whispering something into Steve’s ear, something that causes him to chuckle.

“Who needs him?” Eddie grumbles, taking the rolled up dollar bill from a girl clad in latex, and snorting two more lines from the table in front of him. Garett rolls his eyes, and shoves himself from the plush couch.

“You need to collect yourself,” Gareth checks his watch. “Bus leaves in two hours.” And he leaves the group. Eddie watches as Gareth greets you and Steve, and seemingly asks to speak to you alone. He averts his eyes when you glance over to him, a sad look in your eyes.

-

Your POV

“Gareth, it’s none of my business.” You pinch the bridge of your nose as Gareth relays the night's events to you, explaining that he’s worried for Eddie’s well-being. “What he does with his little friends is not my problem anymore. It’s not really yours, either.” You look at Gareth, whose eyes are filled with fear and sadness for his friend. “I can’t do anything about it.”

“I’m not asking you to, not at all. I just don’t understand what’s gotten into him. He’s meaner, he’s less enthusiastic about performing. I feel like we’re losing him.”

You shrug, taking a sip of what you believe to be your fifth drink. “I lost him years ago. Surprised it took you all this long to catch up.”

Gareth sighs. “Well, you guys were great tonight. Killer show.”

You smile sadly at who was once your boyfriend’s best friend. You feel his pain, watching the person he cares about lose himself to the toxicity of fame. It’s not fair, having to stand by while Eddie destroys himself, but you learned a long time ago there’s only so much you or anyone else can do to stop it. “You wanna hang with us? Get away from the bad energy for a while?”

Gareth nods and you call the bartender over. “What’s your poison?”

“I’ll just have a beer, whatever you got.” He tells the pretty bartender, and she nods.

“Coming right up, Gareth!” She winks and grabs a glass.

-

Eddie’s POV

He stumbles into the bathroom, closely behind a woman in a tight red dress. Once she’s locked the stall behind them, she busies herself with his belt. “I’ve been dreaming of this moment since I saw you guys perform a few years ago. You look so good on stage, I can’t believe you’re not with anyone.” She babbles, much to Eddie’s annoyance. She drops to her knees, and Eddie screws his eyes shut, resting his head against the wall, trying to relax as she takes him into her mouth. He can't help but picture you below him, back at The Hideout, in a different dingy bathroom. Whoever this girl is, she knows what she’s doing, and she’s probably blown a fair few rockers and movie stars in this very bathroom.

He finishes quickly, grunting as she moans around his cock before swallowing him down. She pops back up, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “You taste good, pretty boy.” The nickname hits him like a bullet, and he has to shove by her to unlock the stall. “Did I say something wrong?” But Eddie doesn’t answer, just throws the bathroom door open, and lets himself be consumed by the busy room of crowded bodies, the room spinning around him.

-

Your POV

“We should get going,” Steve shouts over the music, and you nod. “Gareth, get your boys, we gotta get on the road if we want any time to recuperate before your show tomorrow.”

Gareth nods, and runs off to find his band mates. You spot Eddie, standing against the bar, resting his head in his hand. You go to approach him, but Robin grabs your arm before you can. “He’s not your problem. Don’t make him one.” She’s stern, but you’re extremely drunk, and you don’t really care what happens. You pull yourself from her grip, and she lets you walk away.

“Hey!” You shout, loud enough for him to hear you over the blaring guitars of Head Like A Hole. “Time to go.”

When Eddie looks up at you, you take a step back. Even in the dim club lights, you can see the darkness in his eyes. His face falls as he recognizes you, and turns toward the bar. “Hey, can I get another?” He shakes his empty glass, and the bartender nods.

You interject, throwing your arm over his. “Actually, we’re leaving, and I’m cutting you off.” You grab Eddie’s arm, but he pulls away roughly.

“Leave me alone.”

“Eddie, we have to go.” You yank him again, and he shoves you off, causing you to stumble in your intoxicated state. “We have to be in San Francisco by noon, we have to get on the road!”

Eddie groans, and the bartender interrupts. “Your lover’s right, honey, you don’t look good. Go get some sleep.”

“They’re not my lover, and it’s none of your business.” He spits, and you decide that’s enough.

“Get up.” Your voice is cold, your expression made of stone, and he realizes you mean business. He pushes out of the stool, stumbling slightly as he walks away, pushing past you as he does. You sigh, and turn to the bartender to thank her, apologizing for Eddie’s behavior.

“Don’t worry, hun. I’ve gotten worse, from people way more famous than him. Just hope y’all make it home okay.”

“We’ll try. It’s gonna be a long ride, though.” You slap a twenty on the bar, and go to find your friends.

-

You barely make it out of the club, tripping on the curb as you dig for your cigarettes. Before you find them, someone holds one out in front of you, wrapped between two ringed fingers. You meet Eddie’s eyes, still blown out from the drugs, and take his offer with lips pursed. “Thanks.”

He nods once, and lights the cigarette for you. You inhale deeply, letting the smoke do its job of increasing your heart rate, even though Eddie’s proximity to you is doing enough of that.

“Why’d you do that?” You barely hear him, and only realize he’s speaking to you when you look at his face, eyes locked onto you. “You embarrassed me.”

You can't help but roll your eyes at him, taking another drag of your cigarette. “You were embarrassing yourself, Eddie. I had nothing to do with it.” You don’t apologize, you don’t try to make nice, regardless of how much your heart hurts. You don’t like watching Eddie fall apart, no matter what your relationship with him is. It still stings, how cold he is to you, and you’ve come to the realization there’s only so much you can do to save him from himself. “I don’t care what you do, how much you drink, or who you fuck in the club bathrooms, but we have shit to do on top of it. And I won’t let you ruin this for me.” You stand your ground, even when Eddie’s eyes flicker from anger to sadness. “I’m not responsible for you. But you need to start at least pretending to care about yourself again, or someone’s gonna hand your ass to you before you can clock it.” You flick your butt onto the ground, stomping it out with the toe of your boot. “Get your shit together.” Before Eddie can respond, the buses have pulled up behind the club, and you walk away from him, linking your arm with Robin’s.

-

Eddie’s POV

“C’mon, up you go.” Steve heaves Eddie up the stairs of the bus, and down the aisle to the bed in the back. “Sleep it off.” He’s pissed, Eddie realizes, and dares to push him further.

“What is your problem?” Eddie asks pointedly, lighting another cigarette before offering one to Steve. Steve takes one, lights it, and sucks harshly. “Never seen ole Stevie so wound up.”

“You’re such an asshole.” Steve turns to face Eddie, who’s crammed into the corner between the bed and the wall of the bus, rubbing his temples. “You got the Rockstar Douchebag act down, though, I’ll give you that.”

“Glad you finally caught on, too bad it doesn’t change anything.”

“Fine, be that way, but don’t fucking take it out on Y/n like that.”

Eddie sits up, suddenly fully awake. “What are you talking about?”

“They’ve been so fucking nervous out about touring with you, about seeing you again, and you’re walking off with the first skank to bat her eyelashes at you. On top of that, the way you talk to them, to me, even to your fucking bandmates, is unacceptable. What happened to you, Ed?”

Eddie sighs, taking in his former best friend’s harsh criticisms. “Well, Steve,” He spits, “I almost fucking died, I lost the love of my life, I got thrown into this almost instantly after graduating high school. There’s only so much I can control.”

“Your attitude should be one of those things.” Steve’s tone is even, stern. “And for your information, I almost died that day, too. You don’t see me treating my friends like they’re the ones that tried to kill me.” Before Eddie can argue, Steve slides the door shut, and stomps toward his bunk, leaving Eddie in the dark alone. He shoves his face into his pillow, letting out a long, angry groan, before flipping onto his stomach, and falling into another fitful sleep.

-

Your POV

You rise from your bunk, dazed, as the bus pulls into the club’s back lot. You’ve never been to San Francisco, but you can’t even bring yourself to enjoy the nice weather before security greets you, hustling past the crowd of fans that have camped out for your show. You wave to a few of them, earning excited squeals in response, and it’s then that you become acutely aware of the pouring in your head.

Once inside, you begin setting up for sound check as CC makes their way to their room. While you’re figuring out your pedals, a short, round man with a luscious beard, greets your band. “Hey, DDA, welcome. I’m Rich, I own the Chameleon Club. We’re so excited to have you guys tonight, please make yourselves at home. Your riders have been fulfilled, everything is in your dressing room! Let us know if you need anything else.” You wave your hand in thanks, and he walks off to introduce himself to the headliner.

-

Eddie’s POV

When the club owner leaves their dressing room, he lays down on the tiny couch in the room, trying to nurse his hangover. His bandmates babble, cracking open beers and lighting joints, enthusiastic about the show tonight. Someone taps him on the shoulder, and he opens his eyes to Steve standing over him, offering a bottle of water. He takes it, thanking him wordlessly, and gulps it down to soothe his headache. “You guys need anything?” Steve asks, addressing the room.

“Nah, thanks man.” Jeff offers him a joint, and he accepts, turning to Eddie. “How you feelin’?”

“I feel like someone ran me over, then backed up to run me over again.”

Steve snorts. “Good, you deserve it.” He offers Eddie his hand, and Eddie uses it to pull himself off the couch. “You gonna survive?”

“Why do you keep asking me that?”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Because you’ve been acting like you’re on the verge of death since tour started. I’m right to worry.”

“I’m fine, I always rally.” Eddie gives Steve an unconvincing smile, and Steve huffs in response.

“Alright, gentlemen,” Eddie announces, earning the attention of the room. “I’m sorry for my behavior these last few days, I promise I’ll do better. Starting now. Let’s go check some fucking sound, yeah?!”

Gareth humors him, clapping more with the relief that Eddie’s acting human again. Jeff joins in, whooping his approval. The three of them charge out of the room, cheering like they’ve just won a long DnD campaign.

-

Eddie’s hollering dies down as they reach the stage, just in time to catch your band soundchecking. Jeff and Gareth stand behind him, each resting a comforting hand on his shoulders. “You alright?” Jeff whispers, examining Eddie’s expression, bracing for the dam to break.

Eddie doesn’t answer right away. He’s hypnotized, captivated by you. You’re soundchecking his song, still in the sweats and extra long t-shirt you’d probably slept in, singing to the empty floor of the club. You pluck the strings of your guitar, stopping every few seconds to adjust a string or tap a pedal.

“Ed?” Gareth snaps him out of his daze. “You good?”

Eddie nods, blinking rapidly, suddenly unable to focus his eyes. “I’m good. I’m so good.” He’s trying to be, at least. He refocuses his attention on you as the lights adjust, giving you that glow again. When you finish the song, you start packing up, and you glance in his direction. He realizes you’re wearing one of his old shirts, a worn out Black Sabbath tee he thought he’d just lost. Eddie doesn’t look away from you this time, holding your gaze in his for as long as he can manage. You look away first, and he bites back a smile when you tuck your hair behind your ear.

-

Your POV

“Hey,” Sylvie bends down to help unplug your wires. “You doin’ alright? I saw that,” they nod toward the curtain, where Corroded Coffin have been lurking for the last five minutes.

“Yeah, I’m okay. How’d we sound?”

“Pitch perfect, just hope the light guy knows what he’s doing during Choke.” Sylvie rolls their eyes, and you chuckle. You hear footsteps behind you, and turn to see Eddie, Jeff, and Gareth lugging their own instruments on stage. Behind them, a few guys on the crew follow with more instruments and amps. The four of you gather your things, and more guys on your crew come to help you. You feel Eddie’s eyes on you as you exit the stage, refusing to return his gaze. You stop behind the curtain, daring to eavesdrop on their private practice.

“You comin?” Robin whispers at you, and you shake your head.

“Okay,” she comes back to stand next to you, and you shake your head again.

“You go ahead, I’ll be right there. I’m fine, I promise.” You’re not sure just yet if that’s true, but you want to believe it. Robin squeezes your hand in understanding, then jogs back to the rest of your band.

You set your guitar down gently in the spare stand next to you, and take a seat amongst the curtains out of Eddie’s eyeline.

“Right, what are we opening with?” Eddie plugs his guitar in, and begins fiddling with the knobs. He still uses his Warlock, something you find charming. Even after all the money he’s made, the offers he’s had to play plenty of expensive guitars, he still cherishes the one he bought himself in high school.

“We open with The Crawl.” Gareth says, twirling his drumstick. You know the song, you remember when Eddie was struggling to write it, sitting in his bedroom at the trailer, asking your opinions on chord progressions.

“Right, yeah,” Eddie begins strumming the intro. You sway as they run through the song once, stopping every so often to adjust a guitar or an amp.

You know Eddie’s voice is beautiful, but it sends chills through you when you hear it in the empty room. His voice is smooth and low, much unlike the loud rasps of other bands in the genre. He begins to sing as the others adjust their instruments, testing his in-ear and microphone.

Deep underground, somewhere I shouldn’t be / I’m stuck in a hell built only for me / But you’re down here too / and you’re making it worse / ‘cause I've got a blessing / and gave you the curse.

I tried going alone, accepting my fate / I let myself believe I had what it takes / But watching you follow, I started to fall / And now I’m stuck down here, and I start to crawl.

Eddie paints the picture of the scary, dark place you know all too well, twisting his words around the loud, angry instruments, sending a shock down your spine. His voice is hopeless, angry, frightened even as the song builds to a chaotic climax, where Eddie seems to growl the final chorus.

You sing along quietly, remembering every word from the months you spent listening to it as Eddie recorded. Regardless of your feelings toward him, you can’t deny Eddie’s raw talent when it comes to lyricism and songwriting.

When they finish, you heave yourself from your spot on the floor, when Eddie says, “Feel free to watch the rest of the show.” You freeze, your back turned to the stage, feeling his eyes on you. You turn slowly, arms raised in surrender.

“I come in peace.” You state, begging your voice not to break.

Eddie shrugs. “‘Kay guys, shall we?”

Gareth hesitates, turning to you with worried eyes. You return a confused look, and he sighs with defeat. You don’t realize what he’s trying to communicate until it’s too late.

The drums kick in, and you vaguely recognize the song. When Eddie utters the first words, your blood runs cold.

We were everything I ever wanted / All I could ask for / But you walked out last night, and now I’m sleeping on the floor / I haven’t seen you in years now, i hope you’re doin’ well / but if you aren’t, i couldn’t care, i’ll see you soon in hell.

I begged the skies to give you back / asked what I had to do / but that phone kept ringin off the hook and i left myself undo.

You can’t listen anymore, feeling each line dig the hole in your chest deeper and deeper. You snatch your guitar, and sneak away as the chorus fades from your earshot.

I lost myself when I lost you, / and now I let myself undo, / You broke my heart when you left, too / and I’ve got scars to fuckin’ prove.

-

You hold back tears as you enter the green room, biting your lip to keep it from quivering. Deep breaths, it’s an old song, you try to reassure yourself, but Eddie’s smug face as he started the song suggests he still feels that way. You decide there, he’s not worth fighting for anymore, and you’re done trying to be anything more than coworkers. No more inviting him out just for him to hang out with groupies five years his junior.

“Hey, Y/n! We’re discussing outfits, help me pick something out!” Lilith holds out two skirts, a black pleated mini and a long floral.

You point to the mini skirt. “This one’s sexy.” You state, matter-of-factly, and she nods. You dig through your tour bag, packed with plenty of different garments, but nothing speaks to you. “What about me?” You ask your friends, and Robin digs through her own duffel.

“What about this?” She holds up a cropped black t shirt with Eat The Rich plastered across it. You chuckle, remembering the shirt from high school. “I think it’s yours anyway.”

You take the shirt from her, and match it with a pair of black tripp pants, clattering as you slide them over each leg. You look good, and you feel better as your friends send compliments your way. “Wanna go get some lunch? I’m so bored hanging out in back rooms all day. Let’s go explore!” Robin offers you her hand, and you take it, off to adventure the city.

——

chapter vi

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[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/7/23

feeling sort of neutral to apathetic about a lot of media this week! two pics of my cat tho to make up for it

listening

NOT feeling neutral or apathetic about the tuesdaysong, pont alexandre iii off the 1998 album Noir by alexander lasarenko. this is a sort of fun little film score exercise by a composer who did a lot of tv work, including PBS' NATURE. the drum fill does sound like it’s from 1998 and i mean that as a compliment. bond movies are emphathetically not noir although they occasionally borrow some visuals, but this piece reminds me of early daniel craig bond movies with the sleek synthy orchestra and subdued horns. they both have the same fuckin uhhhh. the british exotic location travelogue strings. the piano makes me think point and click mystery game.

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reading

star wars: yoda dark rendezvous by sean stewart. i am about halfway through but this reread is reviving memories of my last reread in uhhhhh. summer 2011 probably. this feels like it was half a concept for a middle grade book about a padawan finding her confidence and ability after losing her master very early in the clone wars, and half a concept for an adult book about the deep sorrow and loss between the treacherous count dooku and his former master, yoda. and in the background of all this ventress (ventress my worstie i love her) is begging and pleading to be made an apprentice while dooku flatly refuses. a generous reading would be “this is all history that rhymes and points to how the master/padawan relationship is not a good pedagogy method for either side and is deeply fucked up” but i think this idea is quite muddied in the middle of this book. it does not always feel deliberate that everyone at once is having trouble managing either their padawans' or their masters' emotions.

the tonal whiplash between the first few chapters is absolutely bonkers. like it's star wars, you couldn't Really show torture on screen or on the page in this specific storytelling era, but it's certainly implied. and then we get a fun field games day for the padawans in the next chapter!!! you don't really consume any star wars media for the prose, but the prose here occasionally gets in the way of itself. it does take a few chapters to find its footing but it is, as i remember, a snappy and fast read. one of the most goth settings in the starred wars imo. the soft plush moss that will start to dissolve your skin if you take a nap in the blood forest has stuck in my brain in the. idk, decade plus since i read this book.

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watching

The Big Sleep (1946, dir. Hawks) is just as good the third time around. i still have a great deal of difficulty following the plot, but this is a movie that first and foremost Looks incredibly good. shoutout to physical media once again bc this 2005 dvd from the turner classic media co. has solid, reliable, properly timed subtitles. none of the pirate streaming sites i like can boast the same for this particular movie.

in other news new felix colgrave short dropped and it is a bizarre perfect delight

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playing

beat wolfenstein: the new order on the babiest level and it still took me like forty minutes to sit through the cutscenes. it does such a good job of presenting you with all these very fun environments to run through that you manage to forget that you are very much on rails and it's essentially a boomer shooter (over the top maximalist first person shooter) cramming itself into hallways until the last level in the castle, which feels like endless corridors. im also cranky they showed me so many airships but never let me walk around on an airship. or throw a nazi off an airship.

might wanna get that tesla coil on fire checked out. like i know it's my fault but someone should be alerted about this

i don't really know that this game stuck the landing, for me. i think the last castle level really dragged, and the courtyard arena + the last hallway arena with the catwalks felt very same-y. it's also annoying to me that they give me a sniper rifle but there's no real way to use it as part of a stealth run. there aren't a lot of opportunities for stealth in the back half of this game. it is too much of a shooter and not enough of a narrative/rpg for my tastes, i think. i don't think i'll be continuing on with the series bc i'm not terribly attached to blazkowicz.

this and fallout are like The big AAA alt-history tentpoles, but it's a very small tent. this game was fun for what is was, which was a self-contained and fairly short shooter you're meant to play through twice to get two slightly different narrative routes. it reviewed well at the time and i think the reviews are pretty fair, i had a normal amount of fun aside from the sharp glee of the moon exhibit ramps and crawling through vents in the moon base, i liked it a normal amount and will not be integrating it into my personality. so it fuckin goes sometimes.

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making

a baby (not mine) blanket, which will absolutely not be ready for the baby (again not mine) in a month and a half. this is going to end up about 40" square and is this pattern off ravelry. it is some flavor of caron baby yarn (i cannot currently find the ballband) on 4mm bamboo circs bc u cannot make a delicate baby blanket. what's the point. its going to go through the wettest hell you can imagine bc a baby's one job is to make fluids.

this pattern is just spicy enough that it's hard to watch TV and count stitches at the same time so i am BURNING through podcasts. slowly but surely getting caught up on A More Civilized Age and their three hour discussions of each star wars episode of Andor. five star podcast five star runtime