#im gonna try to catch another!!!!!
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thinking abt how i deleted the pkmn swsh save file with my lucario in it that i raised from a riolu bc i somehow thought that riolu were not as rare as they actually are
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coming back home after going through unimaginable hell the squeakuel
#shion got stuck w/ babysitting duty for the night so pearl and marina could have their oh so promised “us time” with one another lmao#anita is understandingly *very* concerned abt the whole thing and her gf but is just glad she's back home in one piece#splatoon#splatoon 3#side order#side order spoilers#slight ones but still there#agent 8#agent 4#smollusk#oc: anita#oc: shion#my art shit#couldn't sleep so i drew this silly thing#it's almost 5am so im gonna go back to bed and try to catch some zzz's now
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Day 4 - AU - pokemon!
(hosted by @minthe-drawings !)
Do I really love something if I don't draw a pokemon au for it? Galar linoone is an obvious choice but purrloin (and liepard) seemed fitting cause he's definitely a pokemon contest boy.
I ended up being late cause it's past midnight again but 🥲
#baxter ward#baxtermcweek#another red hair memi since its step 3 baxter and she hadn't dyed it pink yet :)#their height difference looks different in every picture im just gonna pretend shes wearing different sized heels/platforms whatever#did you know if youre someone that draws at most once a month#trying to draw something each day will burn you out pretty damn quick? woops#i might rly take a break for day 5 but at the same time i wanna see it through 🥲#man ive been so busy trying to catch up i havent had time to go thru the tag and see everyone's submissions and follow other peeps......
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im not even done my current kuwameshi fic and im already getting ideas about new ones...
#kuwameshi#give me a sec i'll reblog later with the actual idea but like#WHAT IF UM KUWAMESHI BUT UM. PRINCESS BRIDE AU...#i also have another song fic idea but it's way sillier than the one i have on ao3#based off you me and steve by garfunkel and oates#i got the idea cos i just remembered when yusuke got back from training with genkai the 1st time and instead of a 1 on 1 date with keiko#kuwabara is also? there? and it's just so funny to me like what. and then they're supposed to all 3 go to the movies together?#AND WHEN THEY GET THERE THE 2 BOYS DITCH KEIKO?? for a mission yeah but she doesn't know that!!#and then yusuke and keiko actually go on a date alone and it gets interrupted cos of younger toguro#and shortly after kuwabara shows up so it looks like he was bound to come across them??#as far as a i remember the next time yu and keiko get together alone is the day he tells her to just wait and she's like im literally#not gonna wait for you <3 and it was so funny she just walked off lmaoo#anyway im trying to say i wanna make a silly little fic addressing the fact that keiko is like. pursuing her crush on yusuke#but kuwabara is kinda just. always there and it's fun she does like him but it's just awkward#planning on having her ask kuwa to maybe give her and yusuke some time alone like maybe just avoid their next outing#and kuwa is like oh damn :( ok good luck and yusuke shows up to the date and he's like woah wait. where tf is kuwabara?#keiko is like bruh. and she makes up some shit about him mentioning that he felt sick or wtv and yusuke is like ''then y are we here?#i should check on him. i dont think that guy has even been put outta commission by anything but my fist!'' and keiko just follows him#cos what else can she do. and kuwa is fine ofc and yusuke is like bro what gives i thought you were sick and kuwa is dense sometimes but he#catches on from keiko's desperate look and he's like well i got better *flexes his arm* and yu is like i knew you were too dumb to catch#a cold. and he's stupid happy that kuwa is fine and can come with them after all ''hey he's fine ya hear that keiko''#and then keiko is watching this whole exchange eyes blown wide open and she's like actually i just remembered i have plans#you two should totally go without me tho and yu agrees so easily that it just solidifies that she made the right call#kuwa is looking back at her all confused and she gives HIM the good luck thumbs up. he gets as red as his hair and#yusuke is worried he really is coming down with something
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I'd be terrible as a Tiny I can't deal with all these huge spiders lately 😭
#like can they just get outta here they give me so much anxiety it's insane adndnfnfn#if i was tiny I'd have a heart attack- like I just got jumpscared by a Wolf Spider in Grounded anf I LOOK UP AND THERE'S ONE ON MY CEILINGGG#I'm still shaking i got my dad to catch it at least but god!!!#i need some g/t fluff to calm me down i should work on the fic I've been trying to write maybe-#cutetinyartist#im gonna get another drink and try to relax
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post mortem for my orv animatic bc i have lots of thoughts and yall are gonna hear all of them (that is a threat)
first is the obligatory special thanks/plagiarism declaration section but a lot of the shots in this are inspired by the original changgwi lyric video which like. please watch it there's a reason this song is a classic animatic song on bilibili like the music is good but the video definitely helped. also speaking of bilibili, special shoutout to this arknights chongyue animatic that introduced me to the song that will haunt the next 8 months of my life!
the original inspiration was the thought that the verse of the spirit telling the story of its own death felt very yjh coded but it took like another week of stewing on it to have the idea of using the final chorus for the dkos arc which was the moment i decided i have to actually make this thing
going strictly by when i started putting pen to paper (pencil to ipad screen? whatever) this took almost exactly 5 months since i created the first drafts in february but the first 3 months ish from february until may were also my school semester so. most of the progress (id say about >60%) was done in the last two months of me working on this every moment i wasnt at work (or playing project sekai, for some reason)
also! funny little detail but counting the drafts and some discarded frames my procreate stack for this thing has exactly 49 artworks in it! neat little easter egg i guess (yeah 51 wouldve been more fitting but whatever)
this fully slipped by both me (at 2am) and my friend whom i sent the finished version to (fighting the flu) but in the final edit i didn't actually include the second half of the last lyric?? it's 'i will take you to the mountain god' i apparently just wrote 'i will take you' and never finished the rest LMAO
speaking of the lyrics i dont speak korean and im not a huge fan of most english translations of this song that exists so on multiple occasions i was so tempted to just use the chinese cover someone on bilibili did because then i'd at least be confident i know where the fucking line breaks were (there's one line at the end where im pretty sure i didn't edit on the line breaks correctly but that was more of an intentional compromise because the timings would've been off otherwise. anyway) tbh the only reason i didnt do that is the atmosphere and delivery of the original song is. really unbeatable like the cover's also pretty good but it doesn't quite achieve the same effect
also speaking of things i fucked up im aware i drew sys in the wrong outfit for the dkos fight but like. ok full disclosure my orv reference folder is a complete mess (theres like 400+ images in there. for some reason) so on net ive gotten character outfits wrong while working on this thing like at least 3 times bc id just grab a random webtoon screenshot from my folder and go w it. it's just that by the time i realised i fucked up i'd already finished drawing all of sys's frames and i was too lazy to go back and change all of them LMAO
anyway yeah some other random things i wanted to whinge about:
there's a lot of effects i wanted to do that didn't quite come across due to. lack of skill/time/patience/all of the above but the one im really annoyed about is the yhk postchorus bit with the 3 circles bc. first off i think i drew those while halfway dozing off on the train to school once because uh. yeah
anyway poor drawing aside id really wanted to recreate the sort of. drawn-in effect on the circles and lines that the original lyric video had but i could NOT for the life of me figure out a way to execute that in capcut so. here we are (also you cant put transitions on overlays in capcut so that's why those also looked so bad. youre welcome)
honestly my timeline for this in capcut looks pretty ridiculous bc if you want to do word by word animations/effects you need to pay for the pro version so my workaround was just to have like five thousand text layers with 1-2 words on it each (do not recommend btw)
speaking of the text im a moron so i kinda forgot to account for the text when drawing frames and wow you can tell. yeah next time im just hand writing the text fuck this
and i have some more thoughts that are. mild to moderate webtoon spoilers so past this will be the spoiler warning line
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actually my original plan was to upload this the day dkos dies in the webtoon but a. i genuinely did think it was gonna be yesterday like i dont pay for the early access episodes so i was just kinda going off orvtwt LMAO b. i could feel myself burning out on this like the last few frames i drew for this were fucking dogshit so i figured either i finish it soon or i wont finish it at all
i will probably still draw something for dkos' death day though for those who celebrate (basically when i was thumbnailing for one of the frames in this i ended up with one that didnt fit the video aspect ratio at all but still looks pretty good so im promoting it to a full drawing. so look forward to that)
like for an idea of how fucking sick of this shit i was by like. last week pretty much like for the last few frames of the dkos fight i straight up forgot to draw dkos' wings and had to add them in halfway through editing last night. like that's how fucking out of it i was by then lmaoo
looking back its actually kinda funny cuz the whole put this up when dkos dies thing was my plan since february but i had literally no way of knowing when that would be especially since the webtoon stopped going with the novel chapter numbers exactly (i could.. guesstimate but my original estimation was in june so yknow. real useful) but like i can find evidence of me panicking about that deadline since may. why did i do that
given that deadline i knew i cant really include stuff from the novel past the dkos arc but man. the amount of times i wanted to use something from later (ESPECIALLY 1863 arc). i actually have another idea i want to test out thats like full epilogue spoilers partially because working on this for so long made me realise i really want to make more epilogue content <- what
yknow how i mentioned discarded frames yeah i had to draw dkos' death 3 times because the first two compositions just never quite panned out. i mean the current one is also pretty unreadable with the colour scheme but trust me the previous ones were way worse christ alive
#this is gonna be even more whinging but like. im fully expecting this animatic to flop actually#<- complete nonchalance. im just glad im done with it i dont particularly care how it performs#thats not a sign of. idk maturity or whatever im just sick of thinking about it JKSHFKJHD its been haunting my psyche for like 2 months#i have a lot of other animatic ideas knocking around bc ive been listening to a lot of music recently i guess#<- losing my mind at an IT internship#but i might have another something out... soon? depending on how much trouble procreate dreams gives me??#its meant to be more of me just testing out dreams before the alnst thing i wanted to make lol#asto speaks#oh yeab funny story i was trying to explain to my mum at one point the difficulty with trying to translate the line about dying to the tige#bc english translations will usually write 'i died while trying to catch a tiger' or something like that but in the original line#the died part comes after the tiger part#and the way i tried to word this to my mum was. 原来的歌词是 上山打老虎 然后死了 英文翻译是 死了 因为 上山打老虎#idk it just cracks me up
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i need eddie to get another guy friend in season 8, and buck loses his shit about it (again), so he breaks up with t because he's convinced that the weird feeling he gets when he sees them together is because he is Really attracted to the new guy.
#like things with t are fine cuz he likes exploring this new side of himself even if t doesnt always match his energy but whatever its fun#and maybe at work chim is the one who brings up eddies new friend and he is immediately just. what new friend?#chim laughs and says. tbf last time eddie got a new friend you attacked him so you could date his friend. hes probably keeping it to himsel#and bucks like. dude what. that was. yeah it was shitty of me but it was a one time thing. i wont do it again...#and when eddie shows up for shift buck immediately asks about his new friend and eddie tells him about the guy without hesitation#after shift tho buck is like. why didnt you tell me about him? after t i get why you dont want to but im just. you dont have to worry man.#buck. i know. im not worried. anyway he and i are gonna head to a bar to catch the game. you want to come with? you can bring t if hes free#oh. thats. thatd be okay? i dont want to idk ruin the vibe by bringing a date#nah man. itll be fine#and so he and t go to the bar and eddies already inside with the new friend and its Fine. its Great actually because t gets along with eddi#and the new guy and the new guy makes eddie laugh and doesnt miss a beat and knows more about the teams record this season than buck and#buck is doing Fine. this guys smile is big and his eyes are bright and when he laughs he sorta leans into eddies space alittle and its Fine#the night ends and buck and t go back to his apartment and buck cant stop thinking about that guys hand when it clapped down on eddies#shoulder or the look on his face as he teased eddie about the beer he drinks (cuz its kinda bad but only buck can say that) and buck Cant.#he wants that guy. he wants his hands and grin and teasing voice all to himself and not on eddie.#so he breaks up with t and ts confused af cuz i thought things were going good?#yeah. i just. i want to explore my options yk now that ive uh figured out i like men.#and its a clean break. not dramatic or messy. t tells him to call if he every changes his mind. buck wont.#bucks trying to not pry about eddies new friend and he doesnt grill eddie or anyone and just waits and listens to all the new info he gains#and eventually eddie invites him out to watch another game because whatever team they were watching made it to the playoffs#and when he gets there eddies like. no t tonight?#nah we. uh. we broke up.#eddie says sorry man that sucks. and the new guy is like. honestly he didnt even seem that into you which what an idiot. youre great.#and its good because the new guy splits his attention between the two of them now. eddie isnt the only one getting hands and grins and eyes#and the third time theyre at the bar the guy follows him to bathroom and kisses him hard against the door before pulling back with a#panicked sorry and leaving and when buck finds eddie after hes like. what happened? new guy ran out of here without even saying goodbye#he kissed me in the bathroom. i think uh. i think he was kinda freaking out about it and thats why he left.#and eddie just blinks at him before being like. buck. buck you said you werent going to do this again.#i didnt mean to! and buck means it. he just saw the way that guy made eddie laugh and put his hands on eddie and had eddies attention and#oh.
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i cant believe im sick again this is ridiculous
#i was just starting to feel better after a week in bed#spent 2 days traveling#and bam#coming down with something again#what am i even wearing a mask for#god fuck me#honestly idk how many more setbacks i can handle#ever since i broke my shoulder#idk it feels like#ive just been treading water#trying to catch up#but im not getting anywhere#its just one curveball after another#like playing whack a mole#always putting out fires#<- and atruggling to find the right metaphor lmfaoo#and beyond that zero chance to focus on the important thing (writing this fucking thesis)#i dont even have anything to look forward to#thats the problem innit#right now my life sucks#and yet i am on the comfortable side of things#once i graduate there's only gonna be money problems and debt and a housing crisis and not being able to do what is right for me and pain a#nd suffering#the fucking bureaucracy#god i hate this country#its not something to look forward to#it feels like im waiting for my execution tbh#so yeah#no wonder im doing my utmost to sabotage myself#tbd
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crimes of the future was sooo much fun actually... not quite on naked lunch level but straight to 2nd in my cronenberg rankings 😏
#i missed another cronenberg movie night a few months ago i think so need to catch up on that one..#we're gonna get thru his entire filmography together or die trying <3 next up is total recall 1990 tho wooohoo#we have a pool of movie recs n randomly select 3 to vote on each week n all our individual ratings are in a shared spreadsheet#yeah we're all autistic. why do u ask#i think ive only missed like 4-5 other movies so im close to filling in all the blanks on my scoreboard..#i should try n do another this weekend maybe in the bg while i draw or smth#but yesss... okay i need to collapse NOW before i have to do another work day running on 4 hours of sleep 😭#early night tmr hopefully so i can be out late at the gym thurs yippeee#goodnight every1#.diaries
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there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them
#double meaning on that but. yeah.#it's like. i haven't touched the imaging software i use for an entire year. soldering iron in decades. pick it right back up. to my surpris#muscle memory is crazy#i don't draw for months and pick up right where i was with a few sketches bc the work you put in stays even when you don't actively practic#when it's something you've practiced weekly and daily it sticks with you and ig that's good#but then it's like. the horrors. that haunt you. yk? what if a part of me will always save a soft spot for my ex. what then.#what if I'm fine now and I'm doing okay and i don't miss it and I think i'm okay moving forward and i see her and suddenly I'm on the floor#what if some part of me that was in love never really went away what if i haven't managed to kill all of it yet#bc i genuinely would not know what to do. i. i don't want to admit it but one of my worst fears is liking someone who doesn't like you back#and what's even more horrifying is if it's obvious. if everyone can tell. and usually I'm good at hiding it! (not really) but it's just. id#it's shame in liking someone who you tell yourself you don't want to like and you know you shouldn't. and not having control over it.#hoping praying that either she does something that turns the little switch in my head that sends her into the unforgivable category#or that i become straight. or that i become straight. mhm. yep. or ig the other option is i get a crush on someone new but like. mm.#i kinda have gotten w every person I've had a crush on since hs and i kinda don't think im ready for another rs so soon.#the baggage i just got is. hm. idk i kinda don't wanna unpack it. it's something that can easily be done if i had the missing pieces but.#i don't think I'm ever gonna get them. so. instead I'm gonna take. maybe another 3 months or 5 months or a year or a few. to just. slowly.#idek. it's just triggering old things. bringing me back to when i was 14. i never really got closure from that either. it took me 3 years.#I'm sure this time it'll go away faster but idk experiencing it a second time has a different feel to it. idk. it's weird.#it's like. idk. it's like you're watching it happen and you're not even there anymore. idk. i really don't know.#oh. I've been dissociating.#idk maybe it's for the best i really don't know i really don't know and everyone says i have to do what's best for myself but idk what is#my life is on track things are moving forward I'm doing better and healing but i can't escape the feeling of dread#something is going to catch up with me sooner or later and idk what it is idk at what intensity and idk if i will be ready for it#but anyway. when you love someone intentionally every day for a while. when does it go away? will it go away?#or will i have to live haunted by ppl who are alive but changed. so practically dead w/o the opportunity to mourn. for the rest of my life?#like i don't think i get it. loving this person was like. cooking and eating. intentional. ingrained into everyday life. effortful.#what if my mind does forget but my body still remembers. what then. what if it's like searching for sth you don't remember having anymore#ig I'm just trying to figure out how much to forget these days. how much won't hurt if it all comes back to haunt me#delete later
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it was very dumb of me to go back to school right after my dad died tbh
#idk why i thought this would be a good idea#last semester i actually did pretty well considering i took midterms like 2 weeks after he died#but now its catching up w me and i cant do anything about it#im barely passing 2 of my 4 classes even though im actually fuckin trying in them#im up to my goddamn ears in stress rn with school on top of getting a second job idk how im gonna do another month of this#it might be a good thing for me to drop out bc idk if i can even afford my school next semester#i dont have an emotionally attachment to it or anything so i dont mind transferring to a cheaper school#and going to a cheaper school could allow me to do part time instead of full time#i just feel like a LOSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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I just realized that I've gotten old enough that my old habit of waking up and immediately going about my day will not work anymore because of the risk of low blood pressure resulting in fainting.
#aria rants#earlier today i woke up with the urge to pee. so i just opened my eyes and then got up immediately with no pause#speedwalked to the bathroom then did my business there but as i sat there i could feel it again. and i was like: ohfuck#i had to quickly finish up then speedwalked again to my room to immediately lie down cuz if i spent another second#out of bed im gonna have a bad time. and then i could feel my heart struggling to catch up from just on the verge#of slowing down to beating normally cuz it was a quick action from my heart noticing the low blood pressure to my brain#to suddenly being provided just the right amount and i was lying there like: would a handstand help speed this process up#like back then when i was attending school. my mom would wake me up and then id just get up right after cuz i was like:#if i stay laying down i might end up sleeping again so better to get up alrdy. and also cuz i had a strict schedule#so waking up is the very start of it and i gotta just get going once that happens but now if i try to do smth like that#my body hates it and immediately punishes me for it so now i gotta spend a few mins just lying there after waking up
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trying really hard to apply the idea of Make Bad Art to amigurumi
the problem is that it's hammered in really hard that you Absolutely Cannot let Any filling show through, and keeping that kinda tension completely destroys my hands. like to the point where i haven't been able to do anything for the past week and i Know my current amigurumi project is partly to blame for that bc it has been Exhausting
but i wanna make things. and in this case it means i gotta make them badly
#rip current project youre gonna get tension switched halfway through#at least its assembled from pieces so#im gonna finish the current piece someday with tight tension#and then loosen up for the rest#and just deal with how it ends up looking#chatter tag#'oh just go down a hook size then!' if i go down another hook size the yarn literally wont stay on the hook anymore#i was not made to crochet aran weight yarn with a 3mm hook. i am not doing that#i have a love-hate relationship with amigurumi but my current project is so cute and i want it to exist#i have both my current projects just sitting on my desk and theyre haunting me#even when my hands recover i wont be able to work on them bc i need to catch up on homework :(#this is mainly me trying to untangle my thoughts tbh#(other current project is a shawl with very gay motivations behind it)
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good morning!! ૮ ˶´ ᵕˋ ˶ა i have off work today!! & i even slept in which never happens!! :3 my cars getting new brakes put on it today so i cant rlly go anywhere BUT im not gonna let that hinder me from havin a great day!! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و sendin nothin but love to you all!! mwah!!
#im trying not to think too much ab my car bc then i think of what im gonna have to pay ໒꒰ྀི𖦹﹏𖦹꒱ྀི১ ugh#im gonna do my best & catch up w my askies & tagged posts today!! but i cant guarantee i wont get lost in genshin at some point hehee!! ;3#ik i should probs start on my laundry too…but that can wait another day ૮꒰ྀི ∩៸៸៸∩ ꒱ྀིა lmaojdjsk#anyways!! its time for this bun to get up & get a move on w her day!! ૮꒰ྀི ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ꒱ྀིა i hope you all have the v best mon ever!!! <33#ᕱ⑅ᕱ.* journals!
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ANYWAY a loooooong time ago on atbb around the time karma got his newer facial scars and was talking about how he wouldn't be getting them healed properly, somebody sent in a question asking if he was one of those people who thought scars were hot. and obviously i didnt answer at the time because 1. there is not a world in which that kind of question would have fit the events going on at the time and 2. i honestly just wasn't sure at the time but was leaning on the side of Probably Not. however i've been thinking about different things about his character in the last few months and ive realized actually. maybe they were on to something and i just didnt know him that well yet
#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT DID TUMBLR DO IT TOOK SO LONG TO TYPE THIS OUT BECAUSE IT KEEPS FUCKING FREEZING#LITERALLY HAD TO STOP TYPING AND WAIT FOR IT TO CATCH UP LIKE AT LEAST 20 TIMES#EACH TIME WITH THE PAGE UNRESPONSIVE POPUP LEAVE ME ALOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEE!!!!#ahem. i was gonna ramble here but actually this is genuinely so annoying im gonna try to keep it short n sweet#karma hates how small he is because nobody takes him seriously. ppl get super infantilizing yknow#but scars and eyebags make him look older so he kinda makes them worse on purpose#OK THSATS IT. GOD DAMMIT. ANOTHER 5 FREEZES JUST WRITING THESE TAGS.#ANOTHER ONE LITERALLY JUST CLICKING ENTER ON THAT LAST ONE. TUMBLR WHATEVER YOU DID FUCK YOU LIKE GENUINELY#karma
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I'm more mad about Nobara's death after seeing it in the anime because this time I KNOW she gets COMPLETELY FUCKING IGNORED FOR THE REST OF THE GOD DAMN SERIES SO FAR. GEGE WHATS WRONG WITH YOU WHY WONT YOU LET THEM ACKNOWLEDGE HER
#most likely death at least part of me still hopes maybe hes gonna surprise us BECAUSE THE LACK OF TALKING ABOUT HER IS SO GOD DAMN WEIRD#THERES GOTTA BE A CATCH RIGHT#im not caught up on the manga i decided to stop keeping up cuz the writing was annoying me#so i just try to pay attention to what the people who are are saying and maybe if it seems worth it ill give it another go#its just so weird. how to you kill one of your main three and then no one even talks about her its like she never existed#like if he IS building up to bring her back that is not the way to do it in my humble opinion#jjk#jjk spoilers#ian.txt
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