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aechii · 1 year ago

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getting into a fight with jude then you break up w him , then months later he sees you at a party n still wants you back 🙏🏽🙏🏽

₍₍ SiX FEET UNDER ₎⁠₎

PAiRiNG ?! toxic!ex!jude x exgf!reader

GENRE ?! angst

C/W ?! she/her pronouns used, unhealthy relationship, something about writing toxic!jude that has me brainrotting, reader knows her worth, profanity, a small cameo of playboy!trent, drinking (sip responsibly ppl)

A/N ?! i love love love writing toxic!jude, fight me. other than that, plz do enjoy because for once in a while, im liking what i've written <3 [next fic will be a trent one, dwdw]

~°~

"you're not fucking getting me, jude!"

the heat she felt is all encompassing, red, burning fury for a man— boy, who timelessly strung her along with reins of faded promises and stagnant affection. a piling mountain of 'what could i have done better?' weighed like rocks and bricks, yet if her mother were here, she would've looked on with absent surprise.

she had warned her daughter, begged her even, that men— boys like jude had their words proclaimed as if in the finality of red ink, but their minds basked in a bath of sinful infidelity.

but [y/n] craved love. a feeling she had never encountered fully as it was more of a come and go, never marinating into her flesh and heart. but jude— god, jude, with his heightened charisma and intoxicating smile, had promised to love her from sunrise to sunset, from dusk till dawn.

yet, if those words held any truth, then they wouldn't have stood there, in an air of edged demise.

"listen," jude looked completely uncaring, dragging a hand down his face, "if you can't fucking tell, i'm trying, yeah? and it's not everyday i'm gonna be available."

"i never said i wanted you here everyday, jude," [y/n] cried, frustrated. her bones felt heavy, yet it was the hurt in her chest that blinded every sense of her's.

jude threw his arms in the air, scoffing, "then what the hell d'you want, [y/n]?" his voice resonated with exasperation.

"for you to be 100%, jude, it's not that hard! and if you can't handle a relationship— an exclusive relationship, then don't waste my time!"

they were tipping over at the edge of the cliff, and their fall was inevitable. frankly speaking, [y/n] should've known that their whole... involvement with each other was just a sprint to this foreshadowed end. it started off rocky, and no matter how insistent the red lights were, her eyes were glazed with blatant ignorance.

jude's presence then was like a toxin, accumulating in her muscles and causing every inch of movement to release pain. she needed to leave, with not a turn of her head back, and put jude in her first and only failed attempt of what could've been a blissful experience.

"you know what? i'm done— i can't stand here looking stupid for a boy who doesn't love me the same way," she scoffed, turning on her heel to climb the stairs.

she wished she hadn't had heard it. maybe it would've made her departure easier, that jude, truthfully, cared about her and just had the pieces of his mind misplaced and skewed. that maybe all they needed was space and time to seek and mend before they could try again.

but what she got was like a slap to the face, and the sickening truth that jude was never hers. and never wanted to be hers.

"since you can't understand where i'm coming from for shit, by all means, [y/n], leave."

+_-

the party had been, literally, timeless for jude. he hadn't known for how long he swirled the red cup of [spiked] punch pressed into his hand as he leaned against the door frame and observed the busy bodies that made him stick out like a sore thumb.

it had been months, 3 months, as jude'd been counting, since [y/n] bode her adieu to their relationship, or rather, whatever remnant of it remained. he felt like a disassociated body, existing for the mere fact that he had to, not because he wanted to, and part of him wanted to believe that it was all part of the 'life' experience.

it wasn't.

denial was a vile thing, and everyday, he woke up thinking that their end was her fault, and not his. that whatever they had was a lesson among others, and that he had to move on and find someone else that he could attach his data to.

but he knew, knew that [y/n] was a person that appeared like a blue moon, and soon enough, he found himself lost like a needle in a haystack and regretting. had no one but himself to blame, even his damn brother told him so.

his appearance externally, to those who didn't know what revved inside him, was a continuous ebb and flow from one party to another. whatever he had to do to make him forget was his priority, and if he had to get mind-numbingly drunk to do so, then it was welcomed to be his guest.

it was his 3rd one of the week, by approximation. more or less, he didn't care, nor did he want to know, because recklessness was what seemed more comfortable than guilt and shame, and he was so sure that his body was more alcohol than water. counted his lucky stars that it was the end of the season and so he could do whatever his heart urged him to do. his heart, keyword there.

his darkened mood seemed to have seeped into the room because after hours of remaining stagnant doing nothing, trent walked up to him, identical solo cup in one hand and the other weighing on his shoulder with concern.

"guilt is eating you up, eh?" trent chided, although not as cheerily as expected. jude grunted and took another sip as he huffed out a flippant, "shut up," that had trent throwing his hands up, as best as he could, in defence.

"look- i've been there, done that."

jude looked at him suspiciously, "you've had flings, trent."

"yeah," he shrugged, mellow yet firm, "to forget about her."

"never knew that," jude said with an air of surprise. trent wasn't necessarily the best person to come to in terms of... serious romance, per se.

just as trent went to retort, jude's eyes cast around the room, and zeroed entirely on one hovering figure, meddled with a group of more girls who looked far too merry compared to the one that caused jude's tunneled vision, and before he could stop himself, his mouth punched out a, "fuck."

trent caught whiff of jude's exasperated and frozen countenance, "what?"

it took a whole body and more for jude to respond, "she's here."

then trent's head whizzed around, seeking for the girl whose scarce presence had his friend in complete misery and his line of sight paralleled jude's, "i... did not know she was coming."

"me too," jude said automatically, and as if they had a mind of their own, his feet began to move. trent noticed immediately, and a tough grip wrenched around jude's bicep, "where do you think you're going?"

"to talk to her?" enunciated as if it were a question, but there was an undercurrent of certainty that made trent want to slap jude for his sheer stupidity.

"and do what? beg for her forgiveness as if you did not walk her out your home hand in hand?"

jude scowled at trent's bluntness, "it wasn't like that."

"well it fucking seemed like it," trent chastised.

jude was completely deaf to trent's words by then, as the second she was left alone by the bar, he had an aim. an aim to get her back by the end of the night, and if he didn't, he wouldn't walk out there with all pieces of him intact.

did he need her? yes. and it may have taken him too long to realise, but jude didn't care. it was all part of the 'life' experience.

he managed to slip out of trent's vice grip (who, at that point, had given up drilling pleads into jude. he had to plummet back to reality, one way or another), and by auto-pilot, walk towards [y/n] who has too busy ordering another round of shots to even notice his arrival until his words punctured the air, "hey."

[y/n] spun around. rapidly and in complete shock as her eyes were blown wide. she had wanted to utter everything and nothing at all, but her mouth seemed to malfunction, to both her dismay and relief, so she resolved to a questioning jut of her head forward.

jude nervously scratched the back of his neck, "i uh- how have you been?"

she thought for a few seconds then shook her head conclusively, "as best as i could be, jude."

it may have not been intentional- matter of fact, who had jude been kidding? it was intentional, the icy tinge in her tone and closed off-ness as she settled her stance and crossed her arms. a blank space, gaping and hollow, was left in silence as jude tried to find words to say.

"i'm sorry."

[y/n] looked at him incredulously, "you're sorry?"

jude nodded.

and then she laughed. jude would've blamed it on drunkeness if it hadn't been for the obvious, mocking sarcasm as she stopped and looked at him just as quickly as she started.

"you're funny jude, very funny," she chuckled, turning around to slide a shot glass from the counter, raising it in gratitude to the bartender who gave her a nod back, before patting jude's arm to walk away.

he was delirious by then. in absolute confusion, wondering what he had done to seem so... ridiculous to [y/n]. he had apologised, hadn't he? made sure to make it as geniune as he mouth could mold it and that was enough. it had to be.

he spluttered, reaching out to stop her by her wrist, but, as if his touch were hot, she slapped him away, "don't you fucking touch me, jude."

"i said i'm sorry-"

"and you think that's enough? to do what, jude? get me back?"

he nodded and she laughed again, chesty and completely deprecating.

"you know, let me give you advice jude," her expression submerged jude 6 feet under, it felt like it, "don't date. you're completely shit at it."

jude was definitely 6 feet under.

#work de aechii 🫧#jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #jude bellingham fanfic #jude bellingham drabbles #jude bellingham imagines #jude bellingham romance #football imagines #footballer x reader #footballer x you #jude bellingham oneshots #jude bellingham fluff

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bonefall · 1 year ago

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Are there any changes to Smokepaw (ShadowClan Apprentice in TNP) in BB? He is my all time favourite Warriors character for literally no reason, he existed twice, the second time to fall off a cliff and die, but I love him. I feel like he was a huge waste of potential, in that first time he appeared I thought of Blackstar as a sort of parental figure to him. Think like Firepaw and Bluestar, maybe? Or maybe more like Firepaw and Yellowfang? I'm sure that was just me serious projecting onto like less than a page of screen time, but I am so attached to him. I even made an AU where there was a conveniently placed river that swept him away to the Sundrown Place where he was taken in by Midnight.

Does BB have anything for my little guy?

Smokefall! Given an obligatory Sardonic ShadowClan name after he fell off a cliff and forced the entire journey to halt in its tracks for almost a month!

because shadowclan is like, ridiculously small and the family tree is a brick, Smokepaw (TNP), Smokepaw (Field Guides), and Smokefoot (Po3) are reworked. SmokeFALL survives, Smokepaw is now BILLOWCLOUD, and Smokefoot is SMOGFOOT.

Smog and Smoke are siblings. Billowcloud is not related to them.

Anyway, Smokepaw got REALLY hurt in that fall, but did survive

A (currently unpicked) Tribe cat actually climbed all the way down to get him. He had to be carried the rest of the way.

But once safe, he really couldn't move or else jeopardize his recovery. That, paired with a lack of travelling rations and a few pregnant cats close to delivery halted the Journey.

But Smokepaw still got ribbed relentlessly for "holding everyone up." Poor guy. ShadowClan humor.

Talonpaw got really close to him in that time. In fact, a LOT of cats developed close bonds in this "intermission," including many of the cats who would ultimately support Mudclaw's claim in WindClan.

Brambleclaw and Hawkfrost, as well.

In general, this is a really important hiatus because it's adding some PIVOTAL breathing room for cats to bond free of Clan divisions.

Clan Culture is never really the same after this. It's a change a long time coming.

He is also one of Birchfall's friends. This entire apprentice/kit generation has a very odd view on Clan divisions, because the Destruction of White Hart and the subsequent journey were so formative.

It was actually Smokepaw's "idea" to make Paw Soup. It came from a suggestion towards some WindClan apprentices, that they should try to make an ancient gumbo recipe that hadn't been seen since the start of Heatherstar's campaign.

Birchkit and his big bro Spiderpaw butted in, RiverClan apprentices didn't want to be left out, and the rest is history.

They never did make that gumbo but they made something new.

At the Lake, he also prevents Talonpaw from dying to Jacques and The Dreaded Susan. By also getting his ass beat.

(But that's probably gonna be offscreen because im not dedicating several chapters to it like canon when theres a civil war that should be in focus)

Smokefall becomes the next Educator of ShadowClan, and the mate of Talonclaw. Eventually Smogfoot surrogates a kit for them-- probably Pinenose.

The couple shows up at various points throughout Po3 and OotS as very important friends of Birchfall, and general friendly faces in ShadowClan which is a major ally through the arcs.

Sadly, though, they meet a gruesome and tragic end in AVoS. The Kin is a cult, and once it takes power, it immediately targets the one who teaches history. Smokefall. Talonclaw refuses to abandon his mate.

His position is taken by the infamous Berryheart, who is the educator through TBC. He is survived by several grandkits through Pinenose-- Slatefur, Puddleshine, and Happyface.

#BB!Smokefall #BB!Talonclaw #Better bones au #an obscene amount of cats are going to die to the Kin #in canon shadowclan has too many mass death events and not enough cats to actually get through them all #but for BB I'm like.. prepping for it #And to BEGIN with ShadowClan is RIDICULOUSLY small #Like. Obscenely small. And in the modern era it only got large because two queens produced an insane amount of children #It's essentially 3 families it's fucking baaaaaddd #So like. Even if I didn't want to save Smokepaw I NEEDED him because this is ridiculous #But I did want to. Because I like him. And I don't like that most of the TNP deaths are shadowclan for like no reason

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lizard-shifter-noms · 7 months ago

Text

Still Subject to Change Chapter 22 (NEW)

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Hello everyone! i decided to repost arc 1 of SSTC

(the chapters were way too long and had a bunch of typos but hopefully this will make reading easier)

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

if there are still any grammatical errors i’m sorry.

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He really was feeling guilty about stabbing me, That was strangely relieving to know.

But I couldn’t blame him, he thought he was going to die.

“Im fine, just saw a dead mutilated body and my pouch hurts from my body attempting to get rid of its own guts”

I tried bringing some humor into the conversation but I felt like that failed.

From the look Rikaad gave me that definitely failed, I probably wouldn’t attempt humor again anytime soon.

At least that made two of us who had a skewed sense of humor.

“Maybe we can find something you can use as a painkiller back at the castle? Or we should probably ask Oakley, he knows more about Ardua than we do so he might be able to help��

I nodded at him, something to make the horribly itchy ache go away would be great, and Oakley, well he was the one that read about Ardua so he’d probably know what to use to make the itching stop.

I’d ask him later as for now it wasn’t that bad, just annoying.

Also maybe I should offer help in transporting Nea back to the castle, while she wasn’t okay with being carried she might not mind if I offered to let her sit on my shoulders.

Or maybe she would also hit me with her helmet if I suggested that, fifty fifty chance, but I’d still rather not be hit with a solid metal object.

I wouldn’t know until I asked though, so I went over to the angry woman that currently tried to use a really long stone brick as a crutch.

Even I could tell that that wouldn’t work, but she looked really determined.

“Nea? I don’t think you can walk on that foot, maybe i could help?”

“I don’t need help, i need an usable crutch, i'm not going ta be carried like some stupid helpless maiden!”

Well technically it wasn’t carrying, more like a piggyback ride but i would not say that out loud.

“That is not what i meant, i don’t have thumbs right now anyway, I wanted to offer that you could just sit on my back?”

She looked a bit confused at that but then seemed to remember that Robin had already done that, Arthur too.

“Fine! If ya wanna play horse i’m all for it, maybe those idiots will stop fussin when i don’t walk myself”

She grumbled and using the stone as an anchor slowly stood up.

I could see some of the guards slump over a bit, clearly in relief and I went over to Nea who had managed to climb a broken wall with one leg.

I bent down so she had an easier time climbing on and she just jumped using her good leg up onto my back.

While I stood back up she made herself comfortable by sitting like a man on horseback.

Right, she said she used to be a farmhand so surely she had sat on a horse before, she even grabbed some of my scruff like it was reigns.

I started to feel like this was a bad idea, I didn’t know her very well and she was in the prime position to stab my spine at the base of my neck.

But somehow I doubted she would do that, tugging at my fur however…

“Let us all go then! I can’t wait tha get home and toss tha stupid snow gear in tha closet!”

She softly yanked at one of the handfuls of fur she held like she wanted to steer a horse.

This was gonna be really stupid, at least for me.

But on the bright side the tugging actually distracted me from my aching pouch so I let her.

If she did yank too hard I would just tell her.

The thing that worried me was that her injured foot still felt cold even against my thick fur, and with the way it looked I really hoped she wouldn’t have to amputate it.

I didn’t want to paint the devil on the wall with such thoughts but it was a valid concern, none of these people knew what to do when dealing with magic as today had shown.

The only one with any knowledge on such things was Oakley and I hoped he’d be willing to help.

Since all of the Guards were now ready to move we could finally go.

Now that all the snow was gone I had thought we would have an easier time traversing the ground but as it turned out everything was mud now.

It clung to my legs and I accidentally dipped my tail into a puddle, making a lot of wet dirt cling to the fluff at the tip.

Somehow this was even worse than the snow but at least I wasn’t the only one that would have to scrub all of this muck off.

Rounding the corner of another broken wall I had to stop dead in my tracks as a human shape with red hair barreled into my leg.

“You fixed it! It’s not cold anymore! What even was it?”

Now i was more glad than ever that i had told him to hide, I didn’t think he would have had an easy time handling that.

Now I had to come up with what to tell him what even happened while leaving out the gorier details.

I myself had not really a clue what was going on most of the time so-

My thoughts were interrupted by Nea, loudly proclaiming.

“There was some ugly guy with a magic staff but we kicked him and took his staff, so no more ice magic fer that idiot “

Well, that was one way to explain it, and it seemed Robin only noticed someone else was on my back as she spoke and looked a bit surprised.

And now Arthur finally showed up from behind a fallen boulder, panting a bit, looking at me then at Robin before doing a double take back at me.

“Why’s Nea on your back? Nevermind, i’m just glad the snow is gone”

“We all are, though now everything is full of mud and that’s going to be a nightmare to get out of fur”

I got a laugh out of Arthur for that comment.

“Yeah it think you have it the worst, but at least it fits the green colors”

I had to smile at this, yes the mud was stupid but that would go away, My friends wouldn’t go away though.

Maybe I should offer to take them back also?

Not like they could put much more of all this muck on me.

And looking around, i could see that all of the people involved would need a bath, though i couldn’t see Oakley, he was probably flying ahead or something.

Lucky fucker avoiding all of the dirt like that.

Rikaad who was on the front of the convoy with Norrin again somehow managed to only have some mud on his shoes and pants.

Norrin however looked like he’d been thrown into a puddle of it, and he also was back to looking uncomfortably uptight.

Nervousness in front of a higher ranking indeed made him act a bit weird, poor guy.

I looked back to Robin and Arthur, Both of whom looked like they had tried to stay out of the muddy puddles by climbing the ruins around us.

“You guys want a ride also? Not like i can get that much more muddy anyway”

Robin enthusiastically nodded while Arthur shook his head.

Well that were two completely different reactions, Then I remembered that Arthur said he had motion sickness.

Made sense for him to avoid anything that would cause it, and it wasn’t like I could go much faster than the rest of the group anyway.

I’d still give Robin the ride though, he seemed to love not being so small for a bit.

So I bent down again, being mindful of Nea, and let him climb up once again.

He adjusted himself about three feet behind Nea and clung to my fur, Carefully holding on.

I was glad he wasn’t tugging at it like Nea did, but since Nea was injured I figured to let her have that, it didn’t really hurt after all and she wasn’t ripping it out so it was fine if a tiny bit annoying.

But not nearly as annoying as my itching pouch, I really should ask Oakley if he had anything to make it stop.

Well Oakley was who knew where right now, and I had the suspicion that he went and hid the staff like he said he would.

He’d come back soon enough.

He did want to live in the tower with the Oaktree next to it after all, and then I could just go over to him and see if he had anything that could make the itching stop.

I hoped he had something to make the itching stop, this was annoying as fuck.

Well, first we had to make the trek back to the castle, and now it was the middle of the day, Fuck.

That made it a hundred times more likely for the townsfolk to see me.

If this ended with pitchforks in front of the castle I would have a real problem.

Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that, …right?

Well the only thing i could do was hope for the best.

The trek back down the hill was a logistical nightmare as everything had turned into one giant mudslide and nobody managed to get down without slipping.

At some point i decided fuck it, and laid on my front just sliding all the way down even if that made my entire underside completely soggy from the mud.

That would be hell to get off, not to mention that if it dried it would get uncomfortable and stick to me even more.

At least Robin thought sliding down was fun judging by his laughter.

I was also pretty sure that I heard Nea giggle a little too but I wasn’t sure.

I would never mention that to her though.

Looking back at everyone else I could see that Rikaad was the only one that somehow did not fall into the mud.

He must have a good sense of balance.

Looking at myself I could see that my entire underside and legs were dripping with mud.

Yeah, I definitely needed a bath later, maybe dip myself in the ocean before shifting to avoid dragging mud everywhere.

That would make the castle staff hate me for sure.

It took another five minutes for everyone to get down, most of which just slid down like me either on purpose or as an accident.

This did not look like the royal guard at the moment, more like a bunch of kids that had gotten outside after rain.

I would have liked to shake the mud off of me like a dog but with the two on my back that wasn’t a good idea, I’d fling them off.

Suddenly Nea yanked on my fur again, this time with both hands like she wanted to stop a horse.

I looked in her direction as well as I was able to, and the guards around us also noticed that I had stopped dead in my tracks.

“Wait a second, we can’t just waltz right through town with tha big guy here! Now that everyones awake there would be a panic!”

She was right, and now that she pointed it out I realized I should have said something about this sooner.

But being around so many people made me nervous, especially since they all had weapons.

Norrin looked between me and the way to Tunstead, before going over to Rikaad and quietly speaking with him.

It wasn’t long after that that both came over to us.

Robin waved down from my back at both of them earning little waves back in return.

Then Rikaad and Norrin turned to me, with Rikaad not talking long around the matter at hand.

“Nea is right in that aspect, having you walk through Tunsted in the middle of the day is going to cause chaos, maybe you should walk the longer route around? If not i’m sure someone else can help Nea get around so you can shift down”

I could practically feel Nea glaring at the prospect of being carried like an helpless damsel, but she couldn’t refuse the king after all.

Though-

“Wait, shift down? Ya tellin me this muddy furball can shapeshift???”

Well that was not how i wanted people to know, and I for sure would take the longer route now to avoid getting stared at by all the other guards.

Not to mention that I would be covered in mud even more if I shifted.

I really didn’t like mud anymore after so much of it.

“I think i’ll just go around, gives whoever medic you want to call for her foot plenty of time to prepare, and i don’t want to be stared at if i’m honest”

Both Rikaad and Norrin nodded before Norrin spoke.

“I think the fastest way would be to head northwest a bit until you see the treeline and then follow it until you get closer to the ocean, by then you should see the castle anyway, good luck”

He had pointed in the direction we needed to go while he talked, not that that was necessary as I could see the trees in the far off distance quite well, then again I had the height advantage here.

I nodded at them and Norrin went back to organize the rest of the division who in the meantime had tried to scrape some of the mud off using whatever they could find to do so.

Rikaad lingered a few more seconds with us though.

“Stay safe, since you are between the forest and the city there still might be either People or Monsters so keep an eye out”

After that he went back to the group next to Arthur who tried to wring out mud from his shirt unsuccessfully.

Since they would now go back through Tunstead I decided to ask if Robin wanted to go with them, since I would take the longer route around with Nea he might want to stick to the other two.

“Hey Robin? You wanna go with the other two?

The long way around might be a bit boring”

I could feel him lean to the side a bit and I turned my head accordingly so he could see at least one of my eyes.

“I think i’ll stick with you, i don’t really know what to do in the group anyway and they make me kinda nervous”

I nodded and turned to walk towards the trees.

Robin was right, the guards did have a tendency to make me nervous as well so I could perfectly understand what he meant.

“Then let’s go, who knows how much longer this will take”

I settled into a steady walking pace, but that pace was still at least twice as fast as that of a jogging human.

The four legs really were practical in that sense, I could walk very fast and having people sitting on my back like this was almost no inconvenience.

I still was careful though, I absolutely did not want them to fall off.

That would not bode well for me, or my sanity, not to mention that Nea was already injured.

I did have to admit that she was one tough Woman though.

I probably wouldn’t be this calm if my foot had been hit by an ice blast, An event that she was currently telling Robin after he had asked what happened to her.

“-and that’s why my foot looks so ugly right now, but don’t worry, at tha castle they are gonna get tha boot off and fix it, I’ll be good as new in no time!”

Yeah that about summed it up, i just hoped she didn’t have to amputate it, that would suck.

“Yeah, as soon as we get there some doctor is going to help with that so we better get a move on”

I slightly sped up my gait, much to the amusement of the two sitting on my back, and it made mud drip everywhere.

I didn’t think I had that much of it in my fur but apparently I was mistaken.

Suddenly Nea leaned forwards a lot, and with a mischievous tone asked.

“Hey ya walkin mud puddle, how fast can ya get?”

There was amusement clearly evident in her voice and I decided to indulge both of them as Robin had started to chant for me to go faster at Neas suggestion.

“Alright, but if you feel like you can’t hold on anymore tell me and i’ll slow down”

I could feel both of them grip my fur even tighter and I slowly accelerated, gaining steadily on speed.

I went faster and faster as neither of them told me to stop and eventually the ground was just a blur underneath me while I leaped over the earth.

Ohh this was fun!

I didn’t even care about being covered in mud anymore.

I just went as fast as i could get all the while i heard Robin and Nea laughing.

“WOOHOO! Now that’s what I call fast! Well end up in tha castle before them if ya can keep that pace up big guy!”

Nea seemed thoroughly amused by the prospect of being there before the rest of the division.

To be fair it would be funny, so I kept the pace I was at, making the ground almost fly away underneath me.

Being this fast was weirdly fun, I hadn’t anticipated being able to go at such a pace but I wasn’t complaining.

The four legs clearly were an advantage for this.

The ground was far from even so it was a bit of a bumpy ride, but none of the humans on my back complained, instead they cheered when I had to take a particularly big leap to get over a ditch.

That made me wonder how far I could actually jump.

I decided to test it out by jumping over a small stream that came up ahead.

The Stream itself had swollen with melted snow and was an ugly brown color from all the mud, I’d guess it to be about eight feet across.

There wasn’t really any way around it, only a small dingy bridge that would never hold me so I had to jump regardless, and slowing down wouldn’t help me so I went even faster.

“Are you gonna Jump over that water?”

I heard Robin call from somewhere behind Nea.

“YES! So hold on and do not let go! This is going to be a rough ride!”

I could feel both of them lean forward as much as they could, which meant they were half lying half sitting on my back as I prepared to jump.

The water was now right in front of me and I jumped as soon as I felt it on the tip of my front paws, near flying over the mucky water.

I could hear Robin let out a squeal of joy and landed a few feet after the water on the other side.

I didn’t really know how far exactly that was but I would put it at about twelve feet.

Huh, that was impressive, I wondered how far exactly it was.

Suddenly I heard Nea call right into my ear.

“That’s tha fastest I have ever traveled!

we’re going to be at tha castle first fer sure!”

I just grinned and kept the pace I was at, occasionally jumping over various obstacles.

At some point not even five minutes later I could see the Castle in the Distance, yeah, we’d be first for sure.

Another good thing about being this fast aside from the obvious joy of my passengers was that the mud on me had mostly come off and only some dried bits were still stuck to me.

I’d still take a dip in the ocean to get it off though, that would make the bathwater itself less muddy.

I’d bet that the castle even had hot water, That was something I had always wanted to try.

On the streets it was either rainwater showers or a dip in whatever river I could find.

I’d shift down for that though, I didn’t think anyone would have a bathtub big enough for an Ardua.

Now that the Castle was within sight I changed course slightly to steer away from the treeline and towards the imposing building.

it was a good thing that i remembered where exactly the door was i had used when i first arrived here, even if it meant that the two on my back had to get down for a bit.

I was suddenly glad Robin had come with as he could help Nea getting down and then climb up again.

And he could also go ahead to inform a medic about Nea so they could prepare for whatever was wrong with her foot.

After that we could wait at the gate for everyone else, they’d be really confused as to why we were here before them.

Maybe Nea was lucky and got to see their reactions from out of a window.

I gradually went slower and came to a halt right before the closed door that led into the garden so as to not throw the two on my back off.

The door was still closed and I doubted anyone would open me without orders, sooo.

“Hey Nea, can you tell them to open the door?

I don’t think they’ll do it if i ask”

She leaned forward a bit and out of the corner of my eye I could see her nodding.

“Sure! I can do that!

OI YA FUCKERS OPEN THA DAMN GATE ALREADY!”

I took everything in me not to flinch at her sudden outburst, but at least I could hear the creaking of the door mechanism already.

“Nea! You are right behind my ears warn me please before you just holler so loudly”

“Sorry big guy, didn’t mean ta do that, also i don’t know how sensitive yer ears are but i won’t do it again”

I just huffed and bent down so Nea and Robin could climb off.

“Whatever, but you have to get off for a bit, i just barely fit through the frame and you would just fall of, you can get back up after i went through the gate though”

Robin immediately slid off and then stood awkwardly near where Nea would climb down as if to help.

Nea herself carefully swung her leg over and then slowly climbed down as well as she was able to with only one functional leg, and having to be caught by Robin after stumbling for a second.

“I’m fine, don’t make such a fuss! I can stand on my own”

She did not look fine, at least her foot didn’t but I chose to not say anything about it.

Robin also kept his mouth shut, instead just offering support by standing next to her so she could grab his shoulder if needed.

At this point the Door had completely opened and we could go through, I let Nea and Robin in first so I didn’t have to worry about accidentally hitting them with my tail.

The thing still was rather unusual to have and I didn’t exactly have full control over it so I’d rather not have it smack someone.

That would be really awkward.

Better not dwell on it, instead I focused on getting through the door myself, by ducking down again and shuffling forward while trying not to scrape my entire back on the top of it.

It only half worked and I hoped there wasn’t too much mud on it now.

On the other side of the gate I found a lot of guards, not the royal one but the ones stationed on the defense walls.

PREVIOUS / NEXT / OVERSIGHT

#sstc #lizards writing #vore story #giant/tiny #g/t story #nsx vore

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teenagefeeling · 2 months ago

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some queer american history books i think are really good overviews/intros to the topic:

a queer history of the united states by michael bronski— not too long, super readable, extremely informative (imo the best intro on this list), and available for free as an ebook on the internet archive

intimate matters by john d'emilio and estelle b. freedman— this book was cited in lawrence v. texas which is pretty cool! it's a little less specific to queer history and more of a history of sexuality overall but i shit you not i cited this book in some way in literally every single essay i wrote for my LGBT+ history course in college. d'emilio and freedman cover a Lot of ground here (publisher | worldcat link) (d'emilio is also a gender studies professor and expert in the field who also happens to be a very prolific writer who's published a lot of books— i recommend looking him up if u like reading about queer history, he has a lot of shorter more "fun" types of books too. also he's from chicago and a lot of his books are about chicago so i'm biased towards liking him lol.)

the gay revolution by lillian faderman: this book is super long and im ngl i have not read the whole thing, but what i like about it is that faderman treats queer history like a narrative, introducing us to influential figures as characters and telling major events as stories that are easy to follow along with and emotionally connect to. it makes for a very readable book and imo makes it easier to actually remember all the stuff that happens in it. the mental image of marsha p johnson climbing up a streetlight pole to throw bricks down at cop cars is never gonna leave my brain lol (publisher | worldcat link)

#do u ever read such a braindead take on this website that u feel the desire to post a recommended reading list for everyone's benefit? yeah.#anyway the word homosexual is relatively new and making a distinction between “homosexuals” and “bisexuals” is even newer #we r just making up words there is no need to argue about them or nitpick the language of people who were writing 50+ years ago #or even now! like there's been so much rapidfire change around what language we use for queer people #i rly think we should just meet people where they're at and not worry too much about semantics #but what do i know im just a queer person trying to exist lmfao #bri babbles

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fraudulent-cheese · 1 year ago

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So i watched the first half of ROTI! i don't have many thoughts honestly?

I don't care for Staci, i'll be honest. Her gimmick is repetitive and im glad she got booted first if this was the only thing the writters were gonna do with her. It would be funny if there was a grain of truth to her claims tho.

Dakota's pretty fun and i like the added focus on the interns this season, because let's be honest outside of one "haha the interns keep dying" joke in both TDI and TDWT there isn't much i belive? So yeah

also samkota's cute, idk what to say? God i wish the writters explored Dakota's character before the whole mutation thing.

Honestly all the ROTI girls are great, wish they got more than arcs about which boy they wanted to kiss because MAN ANNE MARIA AND JO ARE GREAT, Jo especially, she's currently my fav of the season. I wish they did more with both of them man!!! I don't like the jabs made about her appearence but i find them fine from Anne Maria specifically? Like yeah she would do that! I wish the girls were fighting for longer!

Dawn's one of the better characters but i wish her conflict with Scott lasted longer than one episode. Same with her friendship with B! What is it with Total Drama and throwing away interesting rivalries the episode they start at?!

B's fine i'll be real. I like how they don't actually make him speak! Other contestants do make jabs about it but like, they're teenagers, and one of them is from Scott and he's kinda shitty so it works lol

SPEAKING OF! Scott's pretty fun! He's not the best antagonist ever but he's fun to watch and that's enough for me rn. He's pathetic and shitty it's great

Team man is also fun, i like Brick especially. Don't like the frequency of the pissing himself jokes tho. Like, i get it! he's a military boy who likes fashion and pisses himself! Do something else!

I don't care for Cameron i'll be real. Neither for Zoey, i wish her flaws were explored more because dang she's judgy in episode 5!

I guess i'll talk about Mike here too? I think he's ok, but man i wish his alters were treated more like people. I don't mean the other contestants, i mean by the show. Svetlana's great for the small amount she's on screen for, and I like Chester and Vito more than i thought i would! Please show explore them a little more! (and, well, to state the obvious, don't call it mpd why did it call it mpd it wasn't even the actual term for it when the show was being written)

My least favorite part is the love triangle tho. It's suffering from a critical case of "Warrior's miscommunication": a miscommunication plotline that could be solved in a single conversation, but the characters involved don't tell anyone because we need to stretch this book to 300 pages! or in this case, the plotline to last the whole season!

I get Mike not wanting to tell Zoey because his whole thing is not wanting to tell people, and Vito not telling Anne Maria because he's fucking dumb and considering his relationship with Anne Maria wasn't in a position where he needed to disclose it, but LIKE!!! COME ON MAN!!! this could be solved so easily and they just,,, didn't. Also why can't Vito still date Anne Maria at the end he's his own person!

i'll be real i think i like the idea that Anne Maria and Vito are still friends they just make-out too, mostly because that's all they really do in the show (and also i like Jomaria more)

OK ENOUGH ABOUT THE SYSTEM MORE ABOUT THE LAST CONTESTANT

I don't care for Lightning oops. He's funny sometimes. The "Jo is a guy" jokes get old quick tho.

THAT'S IT ON CONTESTANT THOUGHTS SO FAR!

The challenges are fine? I think a couple are pretty good (the treasure hunt for instance) but a couple are less good? (the Obstacle Course is eh, i don't really care about the mine one) but honestly i wish they just executed a couple better. Like the Embarrasing questions, climbing the mountain, hell even the relay-race could've honestly been wayyy better than they actually were! At least they're camp related!

But yeah so far ROTI's pretty good, 6/10 with 8/10 characters.

#cheese posting #roti #total drama #total drama revenge of the island #long post #“i don't have many thoughts!” makes a bunch of paragraphs #string cheesing

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bluryy-face0 · 6 months ago

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So. Time to rant here about Trees by McCafferty, and my oc Heacen.

Heacen is a bad person. Thats where im gonna start this. He is and was a bad person. But he gets better. Characters that get better, they dont have to be forgiven. He was rude and only cared about his ego, and his reputation. He used jericho for that, and made his friends and family dolls to his game. All throughout middle school, and highschool. He would toy with Jericho, use him, and do anything to get attention. His personality is nothing, it disintegrates, from a lovely, outgoing, selfless kid too a monster. He is selfish and unruly, he uses weed as a coping mechanism for his questioning sexuality and gender. Jericho gives him unconditional love, and Heacen thinks, knows, he deserves it. Jericho was breaking slowly, and Heacen didnt care. He lost his friends and his sister and his family but he still had Jericho. He wouldnt lose Jericho. He would abuse and use and hurt people around him, and keep people and take people away.

But that all changes, his ego is torn, like a wrecking ball crashing into a brick wall. Jericho cheats. Heacen doesnt know what to do, he's broken, Heacen cant comprehend that Jericho would want anyone but him. Be cheats with Connie, Jerichos best friend, the one person Heacen couldnt get rid of. Heacen liked Connie, they aere good friends Heacen thought, but not anymore. Heacen has a.. a breaking moment, a falling deeper and deeper into the bottomless pit, and then finally hitting the ground, bones shattering, heart shattered. He takes time, he realizes what he has done, and what he was doing. His reputation was taking over him. He was so obsessed with a good persona, he wasnt focused on being himself. But could he change truly? Did he change? He was desperate for Jericho. He needed attention and he did anything for it. Did Jericho change that by cheating?

Heacen learned a lesson, and climbed his way out of the bottomless pit, he isnt perfect, but he is trying his hardest, in the best way possible to make it up to Jericho. He relearns everything, his gives his whole being to Jericho and his kids, but is that enough?

the horrors chat. IM GOING INSANE WITH MY OCS AHAHAHHA

dude i totally forgot about Trees. All of that is so unrelated. WELP THATS FOR THE NEXT POST 😁

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mellowheartthecat · 1 year ago

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Maddening Mission - Chapter 2

Originally, there was gonna be cover art here like i did for my first fic. But yall aren’t getting shit now for the sole reason of im lazy.

Obligatory ping of the au author: @coolfireguy73

Previous | Next

Chapter is under the cut.

POW!

Another shot hit the ground near the two. This time, though, they saw where the shot was fired from. It was from on top of a building approximately 50 meters away. The two bolted up and Bomber shouted an order.

“Split and cut!” The two bolted in opposing directions perpendicular to the building the shooter was standing on top of, planning to circle around to block an escape. While Seeker could just run and be fast, Bomber had to put in a bit more effort. He pulled out one of his utility bombs and threw it upward with minimal effort. Exactly a second later he leaped upward as the bomb exploded and propelled himself off a piece of shrapnel.

He grabbed onto a ladder anchored onto the side of the building. He quickly climbed up and pushed himself forward using the side of the roof. He pulled out a pistol on his side and pointed it at the surrendering man. After a few seconds Seeker finished climbing the opposite brick wall and joined him at his friend’s side.

The man they stopped appeared to be somewhere in his 40s. He definitely had the look of a survivor, with his cracked goggles and various mismatched clothes He looked a bit surprised.

“I don’t know who you folk are,” he said, “but yall should get out while you still can.”

“Nah.” Seeker pulled out a butterfly knife and twirled it around. “We got stuff to do here. But what’s up with you, eh? Shooting us and not even putting up a fight?”

The stranger sighed. “I thought you were one of them.”

“Well clearly not, eh?”

“Clearly.” He slung the gun across his shoulder as he got up. Bomber’s gun followed. The stranger didn’t care. “We’ve made too much noise here, we need to be careful. We don’t want them to hear us.”

Bomber lowered his gun. “‘Them’?”

“We gotta get to somewhere safe first. Follow me.” He turned around and started heading towards the ladder.

“Can’t.” Seeker put away the knife. “We’re waiting on someone.”

He briefly stopped. “I’m afraid they’re not coming back. Yall need to focus on livin’. If yall wanna live then you’ll follow me.” His tone was very stern.

“She will come back,” responded Bomber. “That girl is something else.”

Seeker jumped in. “Bloody right! She saved our bloody asses back there when we were ambushed by those mask guys!”

“You got darn lucky then. But your luck won’t last. It never does here. You gotta give up that pride or you wont last a night.”

Bomber stood his ground. “We are staying. Nothing you say can stop us.”

“...fine. Yall still have hope, I get it. I’ll keep watch to make sure nothing gets yall. But when the sun sets, yall give up or you’re on your own. And if you see a man with a bow and arrow, you run.” -- Another arrow skid by. It hit the tree next to her.

It knew where she was. That much was clear.

The lighting in the forest was too inconsistent to get a good view around her. It made practically no noise of its own, besides the light crunch of leaves, which she could barely make out over the sound of her own breathing. She needed to calm down.

Another arrow was fired. She quickly moved out of the way just for it to barely graze her cheek. She forced her breathing to normalize just to hear the bow being pulled back.

The entity was around 25 yards away. 10:30 o’clock.

She quickly darted behind a tree to avoid the arrow as it was shot. It continued to circle her as it pulled back its bow again. She dodged the arrow and summoned her steed and darted onto it. She practically slapped the base of its neck to make it take off.

She has to get out of there.

The trio was all on lookout. Bomber and Seeker were looking out for Beastmaster, while the stranger was on the other side of the roof watching their backs.

Seeker thought this was fucking boring. They’ve faced a lot of threats in the past. In comparison, what they fought earlier was just a minor inconvenience. The only challenging part is that they can’t kill them.

He glared back at the stranger, who was paying no attention to them. How long has he been out here?

Wait, is he our client?

His brooding was interrupted by Bomber yelling out, “there she is!”

Sure enough, there she was, in the distance, riding into the clearing on her horse-deer hybrid creature. Bomber was already going down the ladder and Seeker hopped down from the roof. The stranger walked over to the edge of the roof. He looked both shocked and in awe that she actually came back.

She stopped next to the dead campfire.

Seeker was the first to greet her. “Ayo what took so long?”

“Had company. Got a good hit on me, too.” Her steed knelt down as she swung her other leg around, revealing an arrow deep in her thigh. “I can manage cleaning this up on my own.” Upon closer inspection, there was also a shallow cut along her cheek.

Bomber shrugged. “Whatever you say. Seeker, we should probably get some rations from the ship.”

“You have that little faith in me?” she muttered something and her steed dropped a rabbit with an arrow skewered through it straight into her hand. “I managed to stab it while on the run.”

“Woah... uh...” Seeker awkwardly stood around as she handed the rabbit to Bomber and took out some medical supplies, knowing damn well she’d get pissy if he offered to help. “Is that why you got shot?”

“Possibly.” She whistled to her steed and handed it a roll of bandages for it to hold, which it gently held in its mouth.

“You’re just gonna stand there and not help the damn girl?” The stranger, who had already climbed down the ladder and walked over, quickly rushed over to Beastmaster’s side. “Thats one nasty wound. You’re damn lucky that’s the only one. When I say I’ll pull out the arrow, and you’ll need to stuff a bunch of gauze into that wound. Can you handle that?”

“Um.” She was leaning away from the stranger, her cool composure completely gone. “Um, sure.”

Seeker and Bomber suppressed the urge to laugh as the stranger started looking for something. “Now, where’s the-” He came face to face with her steed. “Uh...” He looked at her. Then back at the steed. He slowly reached out and took the bandages from it. “Right... That’s something... lets, get you patched up.”

A couple minutes passed before the bleeding finally stopped. The stranger breathed a sigh of relief. “Glad that’s over with. Now, what in sam hell is up with you bunch?”

Beastmaster took a deep breath to regain her composure. “Never-nevermind us for the moment. We don’t even know your name.”

“Guess I owe you that. The name’s Dell Conagher. Would say its a pleasure but nobody should be here.”

She double checked her watch to confirm. Then she smiled. “Well then, Mr. Conagher, we’re here to help. We would explain, but I don’t think we’re quite in the state to do so this evening. Is there any place where those creatures won’t go for us that we can stay for the night?”

Bomber nodded. “Sounds good, we’ll explain everything tomorrow.”

Dell sighed. “Alright then. Yall follow me.”

~~~~~~~ yippee, it is done If you thought this this chapter was dialog heavy then you aint ready for the next one lol. It’ll pretty much exclusively be dialog and exposition. After that the fun can begin.

#ocs #oc writing #tf2 #tf2 au #team fortress 2 #tf2 au fic #tf2 cryptid #tf2 cryptid au

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serashalala · 2 years ago

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Prodigal of Lazarus | Chapter 4

“You know, little brother, if I throw you up a building to climb I normally should expect you to climb it.” Danny says in Esperanto, trying to bite back the frustration that is clawing up from his chest.

“If it were up to me, you wouldn’t throw me so easily, Danyal.” Their run across rooftops is put into a stop when Damian takes a big step back to avoid an Assassin that met them by the corner of one building. “But that’s besides the point;” Damian retorts, unsheathing his sword while the opposite has his own already pointed at him. “You were nearly killed.” He hisses, does quick work of the enemy, before resuming in his sprint. He doesn’t see when Danny sinks the assassin’s corpse into the building’s bricks.

“I can take care of myself.” Danny retorts, and timely enough he throws a dagger at someone tailing them without looking. The subtle movement Danny performed wasn’t caught, and the assassin tailing them is effectively dead.

“You’re sounding a bit too much like me, brother.”

“Nice to know you’re at least self-aware.”

Includes:

Danny Fenton being an idiot, Jason todd phonecall for like ONE scene, im gonna be honest i forgot what i wrote, ROAD TRIP!, self-sacrificial idiot Danny Fenton, Damian knowing a lot more about his brother than mentioned brother thinks, some transmigrated-OP-abilities-being-limited-by-local-worldrules, glimpse into past danny, some inconsistencies that were intended for later use, some inconsistencies that are not intended, dont worry ill fix that later, LION KING REFERENCE

Prodigal of Lazarus

Damian looks at him, a million things going on in his head. “The Heir.”

That’s not… technically true. He looks at Talia, sending her a look. She looks back with a ‘do not tell him.’ He could understand why. They’re trying something new with Damian, something they couldn’t get to do to Danyal who was already the first born. They’re trying to get him to strive for something.

And Danny does exactly the opposite. “No, not anymore– but I am more than that now.” he slowly takes Damian’s hand. “I am your brother, your protector.” He grips Damian’s hand with conviction. “I am your family.” He says with finality.

OR The al Ghul heir died, which is how Damian al Ghul inherits the title of heir. By technicality, he gets to keep that title even if the eldest son is revived two years later.

Shit happens, and eventually Danny is tasked to escort his younger brother, the heir, to their father. They didn't… exactly tell him he's also to be delivered to Bruce Wayne.

To be fair, they could really work with their method of communication!

(OR OR The adventures of Danny as he traverses through Gotham as the technically-not-heir of al Ghul.)

INCLUDES:

Big brother to Danny Fenton, brother fluff, hopefully not ooc content, transmigration, lazarus-water-is-corrupted-ectoplasm trope, danny handles dimension-travel like a champ, potential crack in the future, equally potential crack-treated-seriously in the future, good brother Danny Fenton, eventual Jason Todd ft. as new little brother, Talia as a good mother-ish, isekai-ish themes, good times, my attempt at BAMF fighting scenes

#dp x dc #dc x dp #danny fenton #danny phantom #batpham #damian wayne

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luvyeni · 1 year ago

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Needy reader loves changbin’s arms and drops hints by snuggling against his arm, playing around with his arm, leaning against it, etc. Changbin knows but pretends dumb until reader is on their knees begging for him🤭?

❛ARMS❜ ( s. changbin )

💬 nia's notes: this is two request in one , since the other one they were just asking for manhandling

p. seo changbin x fem!reader w. 0.8k

warnings? rough sex , unprotected sex , dirty talk , name calling , doggystyle ,

— 𖦹 ( changbin fucking a needy you after catching you drooling over his arms ) !

he thought you were so cute , the way you'd constantly hold on to his arms — snuggling into his arms , he could tell you were needy , the way your eyes glazed over , your lips forming a pout everytime he'd play dumb when you'd complimented his buff arms , muttering a quick "thank you."

he wasn't ready to give you what you wanted , he wanted to see you beg for him. "binnie." you whined , he bit back a smirk , but you caught it , whining even more. "you're doing this on purpose." he turned to you with faux confusion. "what am i doing?"

"please." you were so fucking needy , you were willing to do anything , just so he'd fuck you. "please what baby , you have a mouth , use it." he said.

so overwhelmed over how good he was looking you climbed into his lap , your panty clad cunt sitting directly on his already hard cock. "i need to so bad." you sounded so desperate.

"need me? what do you need me to do?" his rough hands traveling up your thighs. "i need you to fuck me until i can't think anymore." your voice so airy and filled with need , and that's all he needed , before he was flipping you over , pinning you down on the bed with one hand.

"that's all you wanted , for me to pin you down and fuck you into the bed." his clothed cock grinding into your heat. "pl-please." you tried to move your hands , but he was much stronger.

"dont fight me baby , you wanted this." he slapped your thighs , spreading your legs open. "so fucking soaked , you've been thinking about me splitting your pussy open for a while." he rubbed your clit.

"my arms got you this worked up?" you nodded , whimpering. "words , use them." slapping the same red spot on your thighs again , you yelped at the sting. "y-yes , want you so bad."

pushing your panties to the side , sliding one of his thick fingers into your hole. "b-binnie." you moaned , your cunt wrapping tightly around his finger. "fucking christ baby , you're barely taking my finger." he pushed the other in , scissoring you open.

"gotta get you ready to take me cock." he speed up his movements , his fingers repeatedly slamming into your core. "fuck , changbin!" you screamed , he finally let your hands lose , you immediately grabbed his bicep , your nails digging into his arms. "changbin im gonna cum!"

he hit that gummy spot in your cunt over and over , your orgasms hitting you like a ton of bricks. "shit!" you screamed , cumming all over his hand , legs shaking in aftershock. "you came so much just from my fingers , like a slut."

he grabbed your waist , flipping you over on to your stomach , lifting you up into doggystyle position. "needy fucking pussy." he slapped your ass , yanking your panties down to your ankle. "so fucking needy." pulling his pants down , his thick cock leaking with pre-cum.

"gonna take my cock like a good cock whore." he lined his cock up at your entrance. "pl-of fuck!" before you could even get the plea out , he slammed into you fully. "shit , you're so fucking tight." he pulled out until he got to the tip , repeating.

he did that once more , before he grabbed your hand , pulling it behind your back to hold on to as his thrusted roughly into you , your face pressed against the bed.

"fuck is this what you wanted baby? hmm , to manhandle you like this." he grunted. "treat you like some sort of sex toy , just another hole?" you nodded unable to speak due to your face being pressed into the pillow.

letting your arm go , pulling your entire body up , his arm wrapping around your neck , not fully head locking you , but damn near. "let me hear those moans baby." you were a mess , moaning so loud you were sure to get a complaint in the morning.

"fu-fuck binnie , too much!" he scoffed , not stopping his movements. "no don't run from it now , this is what you wanted , don't be an ungrateful slut , take my cock." he growled , his reached around , vigorously rubbing your clit.

"mmh' binnie , gonna cum !" you shouted over and over , he finally let you go , letting your body fall on to the bed , pushing your back down into a arch. "go ahead , cream my cock like a good flashlight." you screamed , legs shaking like crazy as you came.

"oh fuck , shit! " he grunted , burying his cock inside you , painting your walls with his cum. "take my cum , fuck you feel so good." he stilled his hips , both of you coming down from your dazes.

he pulled out , laying you down , kissing your shoulders tenderly. "you feeling better baby?" you nodded , eyes fluttering. he chuckled , how can one be so cute. "let binnie help you get washed and dressed yeah? then you can go to sleep." he picked you up.

"my needy baby."

©️LUVYENI

#stray kids smut #skz hard hours #stray kids hard hours #stray kids hard thoughts #skz hard thoughts #stray kids x reader #skz smut #skz fic #skz x reader #changbin smut #seo changbin smut #changbin imagines #changbin fic #seo changbin x reader #seo changbin hard thoughts #seo changbin hard hours #changbin hard thoughts

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sb1317 · 3 years ago

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DSMP as Oh Hellos Song Lyrics

My opinions on which set of lyrics from Oh Hello’s songs match certain DSMP characters I tried my best to get them all but let me know if I’ve forgotten/missed someone Characters who are no longer around/didn’t do lore aren’t included. Also super recent lore is being ignored because I cant keep changing this every time someone decides to flip their character motivations dammit (Im not including variations of a single character unless its a ghost btw. That means for example characters such as lmanburg Wilbur and revivedbur (two versions of one person) are gonna fall under the broad category of ‘Wilbur’.) Some of them will have explanations, some won’t. If you want me to explain my reasoning maybe I’ll make another post. Maybe I’ll even make on for character relationships one day. Idk I have crippling anxiety online so I won’t post very often //// Foolish: Constellations “I can feel it on my tongue, brick and mortar, thick as scripture drawing lines in the sand and lay in borders, as tall as towers, I babble on until my voice is gone.” Slime: This Will End “I will wait for this to end, the back and forth, the battery for you at last to comprehend, the kind of love of which I speak” Niki: Thus Always To Tyrants “Where I go will you still follow? Will you leave your shaded hollow? Will you greet the daylight looming? Learn to love without consuming?” Fundy: I was Wrong “I was born at the dawn of our folly I was young and stubborn to the bone, as I took from the tree that was rotting Ooh~ I took my chance and bit down deep” Tommy: Theseus “Whatever kingdom come, it probably won’t come quick, no mighty clarion to announce it, no single use ark to discard in an instant like Theseus’s ship, we’ll fix the busted bits, Till its both nothing like and everything its always been” (I know Tommy is likened to the hero Theseus because of Techno but I prefer to relate him to the conundrum of Theseus’ Ship instead- If you replace all the parts is it still the same ship? I think Tommy has been through a hell of a lot and probably struggles with the distance that has formed between early lmanburg Tommy and revived Tommy. Idk but I think its a much more fitting comparison than the actual hero. Honestly this whole song works and any part could match Tommy I could talk about this song in relation to Tommy for ages so I’ll cut it off here lmao) Jack: Where is your rider “So bury me as it pleases you lover- at sea or deep within the catacombs But these bones never rested while living so How can they stand to languish in repose” Boomer: Hieroglyphics “Stamping your heels along with the drum Praying the serpent's underneath one of 'em Like there's some villain left to defeat Instead of a dance with a rhythm and beat”

(I don’t actually know Boomer’s lore so I kinda made a guess on this one from what little I’ve seen/heard. Pls let me know if there are better options) Philza: Eat You Alive “Ive seen the true face of the things you call life The song of the siren that holds your desire Death she is cunning and clever as hell And she’ll eat you alive” Sam: Lapis Lazuli “I don’t mean to speak so collectively I know I don’t make it easy to even wanna hear it What can I say, What can I say, What can I say 'Cause the more I recite it The more you wanna fight it The more my language is sounding fabricated”

(Sam is such a nuanced and interesting character who has such conflicting morals and priorities. His relationships are constantly being ruined by his strange reasoning and actions and I think this song conveys this quite well- He’s trying to explain himself but the more he talks, the worse it sounds) Sapnap: Oh Sleeper “I see the trail of shoulders I’ve climbed over but by god I’ll bloody up my hands with everything I am to cut away the mountains I’ve made and fill the dales below” (Sapnap fought on Dream’s side in the first war and has conflicts with many on there server but Kinoko is his new start and he’s trying his best to repair old relationships and make up for past mistakes- This song is about overcoming your past to be better and I think it just works) Techno: Oh Sleeper “The tables in the Temple will be turned on their side, and just as it scorches up the dunes beneath the height of noon the pillars of the empire will be burned in kind” (Technoblade and christianity/christ connections go brrrr) Wilbur: I Have Made Mistakes “We have lived in fear, we have lived in fear and our fear has betrayed us, we will overcome, we will overcome the apathy that has made us, ‘cause we are not alone, we are not alone in the dark with our demons We have have made mistakes, we have made mistakes but we’ve learned from them” Ghostbur: Pale White Horse “It was a pale white horse, with a crooked smile and I knew it was my time It was the raging storm, of a foreign war and a face I’d seen before” Eret: Rio Grande “May all our tinfoil idols Lay crumpled on the ground And our pre-fab Olympus Divided by the thousand Oh, maybe im naive for thinking, That a mountain so stubborn can move But if im a mountain moving I think you can be too” (Eret redemption arc woo) Bad: Notos “And every word you shouldn't say Will come bubbling out of your throat But you've got no one left to blame For the things you lost to the winds of Notos”

(Bad’s lore is so cool and nuanced and AHHH I want to shake him violently for making me feel things. I think Bad places a lot of blame on people around him in an attempt to cope with his own bad decisions and actions (mind controlled or not) Puffy: Notos “Every inhale I take, swallows the ocean whole, and I am one With the hurricane, tall as the tide that laps with a rabid tongue With every exhale, I break you down with a fury, I lay the hills undone Like a dog gone untamed, bellowing out a river from my lungs”

Ponk: Trees “Climbing trees; haven't much since we were children Shaking limbs tend to end up bent and broken But heartache pales in comparison to love”

Ranboo: Soap “I’ve heard If I were tougher Then maybe I'd make it alive I got a tender side I'll need a harder shell to survive But if seeing is believing I don't know I've seen a thing grow Without an open coat Not without a softness showing”

Purpled: Passerine “And as I prune my feathers like leaves from a vine I find that we have fewer and fewer in kind, but My palms and fingers still reek of gasoline From throwing fuel to the fire of that Greco-Roman dream Purifying the holy rock to melt the gilded seams”

Skeppy: On the Mountain Tall “I know you want me to be afraid I know you want me to love you Still the wild wind blows Up out the grave of an angry ghost Firing bricks from broken canon and prose To build a wall so high it reaches the heavens to the sky”

George: Exeunt “Now I am not the fool I was when I was younger, Crocodile eyes I have seen how you hunger. Fluttering your lashes like ashes and embers, Warm and bright as fire devouring timber, No, I cannot trust what you say when you’re grieving So my love im sorry but still I am leaving” Tubbo: Dear Wormwood “When I was a child I didn't hear a single word you said The things I was afraid of They were all confined beneath my bed But the years have been long And you have taught me well to hide away The things that I believed in You've taught me to call them all escapes I know who you are now”

(go watch the Dear Wormwood Tubbo animatic by knp!!! its the best thing to ever happen to me) Quackity: The Lament of Eustace Scrubb “I know that I have gone astray 'Cause when I saw my reflection It was a stranger beneath my face It was a stranger beneath my face But I'll come around I’ll come around Someday”

Dream: Hello my Old Heart “Hello, my old heart How have you been? How is it being locked away? Don't you worry, in there you're safe And it's true, you'll never beat But you'll never break”

(im not a big fan of c!dream but I know a nuanced character when I see one dammit and I refuse to reduce c!dream to a simple evil dude. Mans has some strange fucked reasonings behind his actions and its so interesting to see it play out) Karl: In Memoriam “It's been a long road, losing all I've owned And you don't know what you've got until you're gone And it's a nasty habit, spending all you have, but If you're doing all the leaving, then it's never your love lost”

Schlatt: Wishing Well “For my soul, he made an offer And to the dust again I fell And oh, that devil's got a hold on me now Because there wasn't any water in the wishing well”

(not a c!schlatt apologist or trying to find excuses for him, just thought the song was neat in relation to both his status as this big, evil, power hungry president and as someone struggling with substance abuse) Hannah: Rose “What's true is like a sickle It'll cut you to the middle Your rose is without a thorn But no, my mouth don't taste of metal From the pot here to the kettle I think we got a lot we gotta learn”

(one of the most on the nose song choices lmao. Not 100% on it but couldn’t thing of anything better)

Punz: Eurus “As Fortuna sits idly by I spin her wheel with all my might Crushing my kin for warring-wage Minted from the ivory of your tooth and eye”

Eryn: Torches “I got a venom like a snake running out of my mouth (running out of my mouth, running out of my mouth) Its got you burning at the stake, Innocent or not, you’re not a bet I care to take” (other then his childhood friends, c!eryn strikes me as quite a paranoid, mistrusting character. He’s constantly over-prepared for pvp situations and it makes me wonder about the rest of his backstory..) Connor: Torches “And father ignorance will make brothers of us all (brothers of us all, brothers of us all) As he sets our torch aflame Chasing down the flimsy spectres that we co-create” (c!Conner doesn’t have much lore but he was involved with the prison break and has ties now to the syndicate so he gets a song) Ant: Bitter water “Well, I still taste you on my lips Lovely bitter water The terrible fire of old regret is honey on my tongue And I know I shouldn't love you I know I shouldn't love you But I do”

Callahan: The Valley “We were born in the shadow Of the crimes of our fathers Blood was our inheritance No, we did not ask for this”

(callahans lore is so interesting ahhhh like what do you mean he has a history with XD?? What do you mean he’s Tina’s dog??? What do you mean he’s canonically been XD’s pet as well?? *shakes violently*) Hbomb: Cold is the Night “Steady is the hand that's come to terms With the lessons it has had to learn And I've seen the things that I must do”

MichaelMC: Zephyrus “Whether by accident or fortune You and I We are matter And it matters I want to spin something out of nothing Lead to gold Spring from winter Story from moted sky”

Tina: Zephyrus “I wanna help mother up an orchard From a seed Up through sapling Daughter phoenix, rise”

XD: Thus always to Tyrants “Every tomb, every sea, spit the bones from your teeth Let the ransomed be free as the revel meets the day Let the valleys awake, let them rattle and shake In the wind that remakes all that time has worn away

Aimsey: Thus always to Tyrants “I will look for you as the sun rises higher When the dry bones dance with the timbrel and lyre There's a wind alive in the valley It will fill your lungs, if you'll have it”

Seepeekay: Constellations “Cause like constellations a million years away Every good intention, every good intention Is interpolation, a line we drew in the array Looking for the faces Looking for the shapes in the silence”

Ghostboo: Cold “When the bitter creeps in To bite you whole A spectre unreflected, oh it keeps you cold”

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 4 years ago

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How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

#sia #music #music 2021 #music movie #autism #tw ableism #tw meltdown #tw blackface #anti sia #lol sia

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kireimarkeu · 4 years ago

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Yellow; l.mk

+another repost, one of my favourite works ever. its unfortunate not many liked it... ;-; but im still gonna post it anyways. i did not make any changes to this fic.

summary: a journey where boxer!mark and you start to fall for each other.

5.8k words... it wasn’t supposed to be this long.. sorry guys ):

i changed the title because sunflower reminded me of johnny lmfao! also i know you guys don’t like long fics but istg i didn’t want it to be so long either ;;

warnings: mentions of blood & violence, f words

+Day 1

The loud cheers were really starting to annoy you. Why did you let your friend drag you here in the first place?

You let out a grumbled sigh when your friend had pulled your hand, leading you closer to the ring. Truthfully, you hated anything that has got to do with blood or violence. You didn’t dare tell your friend that since she told you that she has always wanted to go to an underground match.

People were pushing you around as you struggled to keep your balance. You hold onto your friend’s wrist, to avoid from falling.

Your friend must have noticed your discomfort and leaned towards you, “you okay?”

Shaking your head, you reply, “yeah... this- this is just not my type,”

She pouts, “do you want to leave?”

“No, no, you’ve been waiting for this, let’s just watch the match,” you reply, looking back to the ring. Your friend nodded, looking back front.

The match started within a few minutes, both participants standing on each side started getting closer, waiting for one of them to throw a punch.

“That’s Jung Jaehyun,” your friend says, pointing to the one who had chocolate abs. He had some parts of his black hair dyed a dark green, which really suits him.

Jaehyun.

He was handsome. Pretty face— really pretty face. However, his neck was filled with tattoos, which gets rid of his cute demeanour. You already knew he was the type to get lots of girls just by doing nothing.

“And that’s Mark Lee,”

Your eyes gazed on the boy with black hair.

Oh.

He’s cute. He’s really cute. Super cute features. Plump lips, cute cheeks— you just want to pinch. You were surprised why he would be in a ring with such adorable features. You wanted to coo at his ears, why are his ears so cute?

If you were to pick one, you would pick the latter. He’s just your type.

Great, you’re doing it again. Thinking which boys you would choose.

Shaking your thoughts away, you focus on the match.

Jaehyun suddenly throws a punch, to which Mark managed to dodge. Mark suddenly throws a punch, straight to the other boy’s cheekbones.

You let out a gasp, flinching at the sight. Though, the crowd continues to cheer.

In a blink of an eye, Jaehyun has Mark under him, his arm tightening around Mark’s neck.

“Isn’t that dangerous?!” you screech, turning to your friend who was happily watching the match.

“That’s what makes it fun,” your friend winks.

Your mouth was left wide open as you look back at Mark who was struggling to breathe. You notice Mark tapping on Jaehyun’s arm as the latter lets go of his crazy tight grip on the boy.

“This is crazy,” you whisper out.

Despite being absolutely terrified of the scene that had just happened, you wanted to see more.

After a few matches, it was declared Jaehyun had won this time’s match. You actually expected it- seeing how he was slightly more builded than Mark. At the same time, you were disappointed that Mark had lost the match.

The people around you started getting closer, excited by the first match. It was making it hard for you to breathe.

You tap your friend’s shoulder, “I am going to step out for a while,”

“Do you want me to follow?” she asks.

You shake your head, “no, enjoy the rest of the match,”

“Okay, text me if you need anything,” she tells you as you let out a hum and step away from the crowd. You climb the flight of stairs, pushing the tinted glass door open. You take a deep breathe, finally able to breathe fresh air.

You rest your back against the brick walls, fishing out your phone to reply to some texts and scroll through Instagram.

“Hey,”

“Oh, jeez!” you jumped, your hand pressed against your chest, turning to see Mark.

Mark laughs, staring at you in amusement, “weren’t you from inside? I saw you,”

You gulp and nodded, “yeah, yeah I was, I saw you too,”

You scan his features. He had multiple bruises and cuts on his cheekbones and lips. You notice a deep cut on his eyebrow, and a bruise on his neck. You look back up to his eyes.

“Are you okay?” you ask him, pointing to the bruises painting his face.

He chuckles at your question, wiping the blood staining his lips. “Your first time here?”

You nod, your head moving to scan the cuts on his face, “are you going to clean that up?”

“I’m okay,” he reassures you, a small smile playing on his lips, “this is nothing,”

You wince. That was nothing? You would be crying in pain if you had that many cuts and bruises on you.

“Okay,” you whisper.

“I’m Mark,” he says again, “what’s your name, pretty?”

Your face turned a crimson red, “y/n,”

“y/n,” he repeats, the name rolling out of his tongue smoothly, “beautiful name for a beautiful girl,”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, “how many times have you used that phrase, Mark?”

Mark was flustered for a moment, but quickly regain his coolness, “well, as of 3 seconds ago… once?”

He laughs when you grimace at his response, shaking your head in astonishment.

“So, what were you doing in an underground boxing, y/n?” he asks you, “you don’t seem like the type to be around this area,”

“My friend has been dying to come to an underground match and she dragged me with her,” you explain.

He hums, “ah, your friend? She really caught Jaehyun’s eye earlier,”

You smirk, knowing your friend definitely has been crushing on Jaehyun too.

“We should set them up!” you say excitedly.

+Day 15

2 weeks later, you were back at the same place. This time, you weren’t forced, you had begged your friend to bring you again. You would go alone but being alone in a place filled with rowdy men scares you. You knew your friend would agree since she wanted to see Jaehyun too.

“You usually don’t like this type of things, why are you suddenly so excited?” your friend asked, grabbing her bag, while you were tugging on her arm.

You bit your lip nervously, knowing the exact reason why, but you refuse to tell her.

***

“You’re back again,” says Mark, looking down at you with a smile plastered on his face.

“Yeah, I just need some break from the chaos at school,” you explain. You were actually doing well in school. Unlike other students, you let out your stress from doing work and projects.

Mark hums as he looks around, “wanna go somewhere quieter?”

“But—” you turn away to find your friend, but she was nowhere to be found.

“She’s talking to Jaehyun,” Mark tells you.

You turn back around, holding your breathe when you see Mark leaning awfully close to your face. When he saw your flustered state, he started smirking, letting out a low chuckle.

“Come,” he says, tugging on your elbow, pulling you out of the crowd. Climbing the familiar stairs, the both of you walked towards an empty playground. The both of you take a seat on the swings.

“It’s kinda scary to be in a playground at night,” you state, looking around the extremely quiet area.

You hear Mark laugh at your statement; you look at him confusingly. “You know what you remind me of?”

You raise your eyebrows.

“A sunflower,” he tells you, making you blush. “Anything with the colour yellow,”

“And why is that Mark?”

He rests his head on the rope of the swings as he stares at you, “You seem like someone who is absolutely cheerful, everyone needs someone like you in their life,”

You smile at his sweet words.

Your eyes gaze on his hands that was wrapped in bandages, blood seeping through them.

“Are your hands okay?” you ask, nodding your chin towards his hands resting on his lap.

He looks down at his hands then back at you, smirking, “why? Did I make you worry?”

You look at him like he was crazy, “of course you did! The guy went pretty hard on you,”

Mark felt embarrassed at that. You came to watch his match twice and he still couldn’t win in front of you.

He looks away from your gaze, “it was nothing,” he murmurs.

You were quiet for a while. You felt guilty for bringing it up, knowing he was already beating himself up for it.

“You did great,” you blurted out, “I came to support you actually,”

“Really?” he chuckles, his gaze still on his shoes.

“Yup, you did so well, I think I should take you out for lunch,” you blurt out without realising. Your eyes widen at what you had just said.

Oh god, why did you say that? Did you have no shame? What if Mark didn’t even feel the same way?

Mark swiftly turns to look at your confused face. Fuck, he just wanted to hug you so bad.

“Are you asking me out on a date?” he asks, an amused grin plastered on his lips.

Oh god.

You quickly face away from the boy who was staring at you with amusement. “N-no,”

He lets out a defeated sigh, “damn, really? I was hoping it would be a date,”

Oh fuck, he was smooth.

“Shouldn’t you be asking me out on a date?” you huff.

“Do you want me to ask you out on a date?”

“No! I mean—”

“Y/N, will you go on a date with me?”

+Day 17

The date was originally scheduled in 5 days but Mark was too excited and had asked you to meet slightly earlier, to which you agreed.

This time, Mark wasn’t in a tank top and shorts, he didn’t have cuts on his face or bloody hands wrapped in bandages. He was dressed in a button up and black skinny jeans.

He’s so adorable.

“What,”

“What?” you look at him weirdly.

“You keep staring at me,” he points out, “do I have something on my face? Or am I too handsome?”

You grimace at his words and threw a fry at him, giggles leaving your lips.

Mark wanted to take you out on a proper expensive date, but he was also a broke college student— just like you. He felt bad about not being able to take you out on a proper date, but you had reassured him that you’d rather eat McDonalds kids meal than eat a $50 meal that is the size of a pea.

“You know,” you start, leaning back on the chair, “If I saw you for the first time, I wouldn’t believe it if you told me you were a boxer,”

“Why?”

You shrug, “you look like a baby to me,” you tell him, “just wanna pinch your cheeks,”

He scoffs, puffing out his chest, “I may look like a baby, but I fight like a man,”

+Day 23

Mark: hey are you coming later

You: where?

Mark: my match you loser

You: I don’t think so :(

You: i have a bunch of work to do :((

Mark: :(

Mark: oky then :/ make sure you rest enough

You: I will :) don’t worry haha

+Day 25

“I didn’t know Mark had many girl friends,” your friend says.

You raise your eyebrows at that. The both of you weren’t official yet, only at the talking stage. He has never mentioned his friends or his family, but the information had your suspicions growing.

You pretend to not be affected by the words, “how’d you know?”

“You know the day you couldn’t come for his match?” you hum, “I think he invited some girls because they were all hugging and talking,”

You would be lying if you weren’t heartbroken by your friend’s words. However, you have no rights stopping him from seeing his friends. The both of you weren’t a couple.

“Aren’t you guys a couple?”

“No,” you answer with a sharp tone, “it’s his life he can do whatever he wants.”

“You’re not fazed by it?”

“Why would I be?” you murmur, “he’s not mine to begin with.”

+Day 35

Mark: hey :)

Mark: it’s been a while

Mark: I miss you

You: I knw haha

Mark: are you coming for my match tomorrow night?

Mark: no no you have to come tomorrow!!

Mark: ok?

You: hahahah

You: I will oky

You: im finished with my work & all so why not haha

You: but I need you to come get me hehe

You: my friend wont be following so its just me :3

Mark: that’s great!!!

Mark: I’ll send u home too ok

You: oky Markie :3

+Day 36

You had your hands resting on Mark’s face, cleaning up his bloody face. Mark had lost this time round; his opponent was three times your size and had beat Mark down like a pipe.

“I don’t even know why I support you doing this,” you mumble, wiping the blood running down his face, “you make me worry too much,”

“I’m okay.”

You glare up at him. “If you think this is okay then I don’t what’s your definition of the opposite.”

He frowns at you but didn’t say a word.

It took you a good 30 minutes to clean up all of his wounds. You lean away from him, “make sure you rest for a week,”

He hums, staring at you, “thank you,”

You felt bad for being so harsh on him. You reach for his hands, holding it in yours, your thumb stroking the back of his hand.

“Can you take me home now? I’m tired,” you sigh.

Throughout the ride home, you had one of Mark’s hand resting on your lap. You didn’t let go for a second, loving the warm feeling of his hand clasped in yours. Before you knew it, his car stopped infront of your apartment building.

You pout, turning to face him., “I don’t wanna leave yet,”

“Me neither,” he chuckles, “don’t go,”

You lips break into a grin, “you loser,”

He hums.

You unlock the door, ready to open the car door but Marks tug on your hands. You face him. He lifts his free hands, his pointer finger tapping on his cheek.

You snicker at his actions, your pointer and middle finger pushing his cheek away. You stick your tongue out when he pouts at you. You open the car door and left the car, shutting it, turning to face the boy who was still pouting.

“Thanks for today,” you say, “make sure you rest for a week before you start working again,” you reminded him.

Upset that you didn’t kiss him, Mark clicked his tongue and gestured for you to go in.

+Day 40

Your eyebrows furrow when you saw the pictures Mark was tagged in Jaehyun’s photo. You knew this photo was recent from the evident bruises on Mark’s face.

You had already warned him to completely heal for a week before going back to work but why was he so stubborn?

The girls who was surrounding the guy you like didn’t go unnoticed by you. You noticed how he had his arms snake around both girl’s waist.

Shutting your eyes close, you let out a frustrated sigh.

“Is this from today?” you ask your friend, showing her your phone.

Your friend takes a look and nods without hesitation.

A loud and angry groan left your lips. Getting up from the couch, you stomped to your bedroom, shutting the door as you climbed in bed.

God, why was liking a boy so hard?

Tears started rolling down your cheeks. You were so frustrated with Mark. You liked him so much that you hated seeing him being hurt— even if it was something he loves doing.

It wasn’t the first time he was seen surrounded by girls. Although the both of you weren’t in an official relationship, you didn’t enjoy seeing him touching girls. Maybe you were being dramatic with the girls, but did you really want to date someone like him? Someone who could potentially be taken away in a flash?

You sit up, rubbing your eyes with a deep sigh. Everyone deserves a chance, even if he had hurt you.

You turn on your phone to send Mark a text.

You: you went to work today?

It took him less than a minute to respond.

Mark: how’d you know?

You: jaehyun’s Instagram

You: I thought I told you to rest?

Mark: sorry :( it was just a last minute match

You: hm

Mark: but on the bright side, I won this time!

Right. Of course he would win the match when you’re not there to support him.

You: was it fun?

Mark: yeah! Our friends came to support us

You: ohh who?

Mark: just some ex-school friends, you don’t know them haha

You: okay hha

Mark: you’re not angr right? Haha

Mark: angry*

You: no why would I be

You: you’re not my boyfriend so I have no right to be

You: mad

+Day 58

“Hey,” Mark sends you a bitter smile, “you okay? Been a whole year since we last saw each other,”

“It’s been 2 weeks, Mark,” you reply dryly.

Mark pouts and takes a seat next to you, “two weeks too long~”

He leans his head on your shoulder as his gaze on your phone. You turn to him slightly, offering your bubble tea to the male who happily accepts. He rests his hand on the plastic cup and your hand holding the cup, pulling it towards his lips.

You giggle, “you’re so cute, Mark.”

He squints his eyes cutely at you as he continues sipping on your drink. You didn’t complain, you love seeing him all happy.

You clear your throat, earning his attention, “I want to ask you something,”

He tilts his chin upwards, “what’s up?”

You try to think of a way to phrase your words together without sounding possessive.

Mark notices your furrowed eyebrows, he cracks a grin and nudges you with his shoulder, “don’t be so serious, what’s up?”

“Are you going to introduce me to your friends?” you blurted out.

Mark fell silent at your question. He wasn’t annoyed or anything— not at all, he couldn’t ever be mad at you. But it was just so sudden, where was this all coming from?

“I mean- you don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” you explain, “it’s not like I want to,” you laugh awkwardly, looking away from the male.

“N-no,” he stutters out, “it was just so sudden, where is this coming from?”

“I’m sorry,”

“Do you want to meet my friends?” he asks.

“I’m not forcing you,” you state, “it’s just a question- it’s not important,” you mumble the last part.

He let out a chuckle, “I want you to meet my friends,” he says, “but, they just…”

You purse your lips, already expecting the answer. Of course he won’t introduce you to his female friends. It would be a lie if you said you weren’t disappointed, but you couldn’t do anything. you can’t force him into doing something he doesn’t want to.

“I’m sorry,” he sounded sincere, too sincere. It’s weird.

You feign a smile, “It’s okay, but I have to go now,”

He frowns, watching you stand up to grab your bag, “already?”

You nod, “I’ll see you when I see you, I guess,”

Before he could even hug you goodbye, you had already left the bubble tea shop.

+Day 62

You had this habit of overworking yourself whenever you were down. You had drowned yourself in projects and work. The incident that happened a few days ago has left your mind, especially when he hasn’t sent you a single text.

“Hey,” your friend called, you hum in response, although your gaze was still glued on your laptop. “Have you been talking to Mark lately?”

Your fingers freeze at his name. Suddenly you were furious just by hearing his name.

“Why?” you reply crudely.

“He’s been asking me about you. Did something happen?” your friend asks, worried about you.

He’s been asking about you? So he has been thinking about you this whole time? Your heart fluttered a little at the thought. You genuinely liked Mark and it sucked that the both of you were already having arguments even before being a couple.

You bit your lip, turning around to look at your friend, “what did he say?”

Your friend passes you her phone, showing the text message between the two.

Mark: hey, im sorry if im disturbing you but

Mark: is y/n okay?

Mark: we haven’t been texting lately and I thought she needed space so i gave her that

Mark: I just want to know if she’s okay? If shes eating healthily?

Your lips tugged upwards at the text. God, he was so cute. You scroll down a little more to read more texts.

Mark: could you update me everyday on how she’s doing?

Mark: I miss her :/

“He really likes you, you know,” your friend says abruptly.

You pass her phone back, looking up at her.

“I know I’m not officially his and I have no right on stopping him who he should hang out with,” you explain, “but it upsets me seeing how he’s being surrounded by girls every single night,”

Your friend places her hand on your shoulder, her thumb caressing your shoulder comfortingly, “you should talk to him about it.”

She was right. Communication is key. You can’t keep it a secret forever. If it upsets you, then you should voice out.

You were going to talk to him about it.

+Day 67

You were at the underground boxing area again. Mark had texted you to come and support him. You were going to talk to him about it today. After his match. This was the only way that was going to make you feel better.

This time, you were standing near the wall, furthest from the boxing ring. Mark had warned you to stay here because of all the rowdy men crowding the area.

“With your petite size, you are just going to be stepped on,” he had said.

You locked eyes with Mark who was standing in the ring. You automatically grin at him. Mark struggled to keep a straight face after seeing your adorable smile.

‘Good luck!’ you mouth, lifting your hands to show a thumbs up, then sending a heart to the male.

Mark’s heart flutter just by looking at you. He looks away to keep a straight face. Soon, the match started.

“Hi,”

You swiftly turned to see a handsome male standing next to you. You send him a polite smile before turning back to look at Mark.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“I’m just here to support a friend,” you say plainly, your eyes gazing on Mark intently.

“I see,” the man says, “I’m Yuta,”

Does he ever stop talking? You hum, hoping it would stop him from talking to you.

“What’s your name?”

You wanted to roll your eyes at his question. You face the man, “I’m y/n,”

“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl,” he flirts, winking at you. You grimace at his words. “You’re really pretty,”

You didn’t respond, irked by his presence.

“Do you hate talking or something?” he asks you. He rolls his eyes when you didn’t reply. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No, I don’t, Yuta,” you sigh.

“Then? Do you hate me or something? Do you hate someone you’ve never met?” he asks you, leaning closer to you.

Unbeknownst to you, Mark saw you talking to the male and was distracted by it, which resulted in him getting punched in the jaw by his opponent.

Loud gasps and whistles filled the room.

You quickly turn to see Mark laying on the ground, getting stepped on by his opponent. Your hands went up to your mouth, watching in horror. Once his opponent was pulled away, you ran to find Mark, but was stopped by Yuta grasping your arm.

“Let go of me!” you shrieked, pushing his arm away, running to find Mark.

You see Mark in the room, holding his jaw painfully while Jaehyun helped him bandage his hand.

“Mark!” you call, running up to him. You instantly hold onto his elbow, scanning his face that was littered with bruises. He had a black eye too.

Mark meets your worried gaze. His eyes held something different— anger and annoyance.

“Are you okay? Are you badly hurt anywhere?” you ask.

The male suddenly pushes your grip off him, looking away from you. Your eyes widen at his actions.

Did you do something wrong?

You look at Jaehyun, hoping he would signal you something— anything. But he only looked away from you guiltily. You frown at the both of them.

“Mark?” he ignores your voice.

You felt your heart clench painfully. You didn’t know what you did wrong for him to treat you this way. A disappointed sigh left your lips as you turn around, leaving the underground boxing match.

You rest your back against the brick walls, you felt tears trail down your cheeks. You came here with Mark and was expecting him to drive you home, so you didn’t bring any money with you.

“Fuck,” you whisper, your fingers wiping the stray tears.

You fish out your phone, unlocking it but only to see a black screen. You harshly pressed on the button multiple times but it wouldn’t turn on. Great, your phone must’ve died. You look around, trying to find someone who could help you out.

“Are you going to get in?” a deep voice says.

You look up to see Mark standing next to his car.

+++++

A shaky sigh left your lips, brushing away the tears that wouldn’t stop leaving your eyes. You look out the window, hoping it would distract you. Another tear rolled down your cheeks.

“Stop crying,” Mark murmurs.

You wanted to scoff at that. How ironic, especially when he was the one who made you cry.

“I’m fucking trying,” you say through gritted teeth.

The car comes to a halt as you see your apartment building outside. However, you didn’t leave his car.

“Did I do something?” you ask. You have been dying to ask the question ever since.

He rolls his eyes, “I don’t know y/n, did you?” he responds sarcastically.

“Can you stop that?!” you shout, turning your body to face him, “Just tell me what I did so I can fucking apologize!”

He scoffs at your words, “who was that man? Openly flirting while I was in a match?”

Your brows knit in confusion. Is he being serious?

“Firstly, I don’t know who the hell that man was, and I was definitely not flirting with him,” you explain, “and secondly, you’re not my boyfriend. So, even if I wanted to flirt, I am allowed to.”

This relationship was starting to get confusing.

“We are in the talking stage!” he shouts, “technically you are mine.”

You laugh at that, “really? I can’t flirt with anyone but you’re out here hugging and touching random girls!”

He becomes quiet, looking away from your intense gaze.

You push your hair back, frustrated. “what now, Mark?”

He looks down at his lap, playing with his fingers. He felt like crying— he never cries. “I don’t think this is working out,” he whispers, voice cracking. “I think we should stop seeing each other,”

You feel your lips tremble, tears threatening to fall again. You close your eyes, the tears falling down your cheeks. Your hands clenched into fists, hoping it would stop you from letting out sobs.

“Okay,” you mutter, “I’m going to go,”

When you reached your apartment, your hand immediately rests on the wall, steadying your balance. You couldn’t even breathe properly as you let out loud sobs. Your heart was beating rapidly from your unsteady breathing.

You felt like you were going to die. You didn’t expect this to hurt so much.

You are going to get through this. You will get through this.

+Day 83

It has been a few weeks since you had last seen Mark. You had spent most of your time in your room crying your eyes out. If it wasn’t that, you would be sobbing on the couch while your friend would try her best to comfort you.

You didn’t have the energy or appetite to eat. Your friend always made you drink lots of water and would sometimes make a sandwich for you.

Your friend had secretly sent text updates to Mark, but he would just ignore them. He was hurting as much as you were. Just by hearing your name, his heart would clench painfully. Mark had spent most of his time at the ring, taking out his frustration by throwing punches and kicks.

You were washing the dishes since your friend had left to support Jaehyun in the underground match. She had invited you to come with her, but you’d rather stay home, knowing Mark would probably be there.

Your phone started ringing. You let out an annoyed sigh, quickly putting the plate on the rack, then walking over to grab your phone. You answer the call.

“What?” you sigh, “I’m busy cleaning, you know?”

“y/n,” your friend breathes heavily. This was weird. “Can you come here?”

Your eyebrows knit in confusion, “what? Why? What happened?”

“Mark passed out,” she tells you.

Your eyes widen, “w-what?”

“He’s going to be sent to the hospital, you need to come, now,”

+++++

“What room is he in? Is he okay?” you ask, looking at your friend and Jaehyun with wary eyes.

“He’s okay,” Jaehyun says, “he’s in the room,” he nods towards the door.

You had tears threatening to leave your eyes. You couldn’t help but let the tears fall. You felt your body grow weak, you squat down, covering your face with your arms as you let out loud sobs.

It was all your fault. If you hadn’t taken care of him more often, none of this would’ve happened.

Your friend frowns at your state. She bends down and pat your back comfortingly. “Go in,” she persuades, “he has been dying to see you,”

You lift your head to look at her, a small pout on your lips. Your friend wipes your tears with her thumb, smiling at you.

Letting out a soft sigh, you stand up, smoothing your hair and your pants. Walking towards the door, you knock softly before sliding the door open. Mark tilts his head, seeing you walk in quietly with your lips pursed.

He didn’t know what to do. Should he send you a smile? Should he act cold?

When you got closer to him, you scan the state he was in. He had his forehead bandage and his arm in a cast. His lips were busted, a plaster on the bridge of his nose.

“Hey,” you say, voice still raspy from the crying earlier, “what happened?”

He clears his throat and looks away from you. He feels bad making you worried. But at the same time, he didn’t expect you to be here.

“Just a few bruises here and there,” he says.

“Mark.”

“It’s nothing, really!” he exclaims.

You glare at him, “fuck you,” you spit. “I came down here because everyone was so worried about you. I was so worried about you. And now that I’m here, you’re going to tell me it’s nothing?”

Mark was unbelievable. God, why do you like him so much?

His eyes soften at your words. He bit his lip nervously, intimidated by you, he slowly looks up at you, “I just don’t want to worry you,”

You scoff, “your job already worries me, Mark.”

He pouts without even realising. He looks down at his lap guiltily, playing with his fingers.

You felt bad for shouting at him. Letting out a huff, you amble closer.

“You’re okay now, right?” you ask him.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, his gaze glued on his lap.

A pregnant silence fills you two, unsure of what to say to each other. You didn’t want to leave, and Mark doesn’t want you to leave. You bit your lips awkwardly as you look everywhere but Mark.

“I think I’ll leave now,” you say, “I have work to do and I don’t want to… disturb you,”

You stare at him, waiting for him to say something. Anything. disappointment fills you when Mark looks away from your gaze. You turn around, ready to leave the room when Mark calls your name.

“Did you mean it?” he asks, “that day,”

You stop in your tracks, your back facing him. Your grip tightens on your sweatpants.

“Mean what?” you repeat, “you suggested it, Mark,”

“I know,” he breathes, “I regret it,”

You missed Mark. You missed his dumb jokes and his annoying laughter which you loved so much. You turn around to look at him.

“I don’t like seeing you this way, Mark,” you confess, “your job scares me, it worries me,”

“What can I do to make you not worry, y/n?” he asks, eyes widening, “should I stop doing it?”

“That’s not what I meant,” you reply harshly, “if you would actually let me stay by your side, it might ease my worries,”

You step closer to the boy, your hand resting on his cheek. He subconsciously lean against your soft hand.

“I’m sorry for what I said the other day,” he professes, “I..I didn’t mean what I said,”

You take a seat on the chair that was next to his bed, holding onto his hands tightly. “Then, why would you say that Mark?”

“I just—“ he sighs, “I just didn’t want to lose you to someone else, y/n,” he explains, looking up at you, “we weren’t even dating yet! I just knew that I genuinely like you.”

Your heart clench at his words. “I didn’t like seeing you with other girls either,”

“I know,” he huffs, his free hand going up to ruffle his mop of black hair, “I was just stupid,”

Your thumb strokes his hand comfortingly, “It’s okay. It’s all over now,”

“I don’t want to deal with this anymore,” he tells you, “all this, jealousy and possessiveness.”

Is he going to…?

“I have been dying to ask you this question for the longest time,” he continues, “would you like to be my girlfriend?”

505 notes · View notes

free-pancakes · 3 years ago

Text

here's part 2 to the levihan marvel au drabble! im HOOKED help it's not even funny the brainrot hello

part 1 here

“This feels wrong.”

Hange’s hands reached for another arrow.

“Do I... know these people?”

Voices yelled her name, but she didn’t recognize them. Her own ears couldn’t tell if they were familiar or not.

Hange watched her own arrows pierce the hearts of the people in her path, destruction—her mind told her she was winning, but her heart didn’t agree.

She walked away from the scene, a bad feeling lingering in her hand as she gripped her bow close. Unsure of where she was heading, her mind told her to continue, until she reached an unfamiliar location under the cover of night.

A van drove up, and a man with blonde hair and glasses emerged from it—she felt herself salute immediately.

“Agent Zoe, your next task—eliminate Agent Ackerman,” Zeke announced coldly.

Hange paused. It felt as though her soul was split in two—her mind ordered her to go, hopping into the van. But once again, at the same time, something didn’t feel right.

“Ackerman?”

——

Levi revved his motorcycle as he sped through the streets. He stared up, dusk’s blend of purple and orange reminding him of Hange, happy and bright—he choked back tears.

As he gripped the handlebars tighter, an aching pain tugged at the skin of his knuckles, reminding him of the mess he left Erwin and Moblit in. He had been so kind to gift them both a black eye before Petra and Oluo successfully managed to hold him back. And though he felt bad… he didn’t regret it—it has been 5 days since Hange has been gone. 5 whole days. And he knew it wouldn’t have happened if they were together. They had always been safer together.

But the lingering thought set up shop in his mind—Zeke had a powerful grip on her mind and he had her well-being riding on his shoulders.

News searches, and finding that fellow agents have fallen by Hange’s own arrows had been his only clues to her whereabouts. He wasn’t sure how he was going to find her, but he wouldn’t stop until he did. She saved him, and he’d only do the same for her.

——

Under the cover of night, Levi continued to ride his motorcycle throughout the city around locations Hange was recently seen in, when suddenly a loud backfire sounded from behind him.

“Hange??” He yelled in surprise as she sped in on a motorcycle right on his tail.

He didn’t expect Hange to be the one finding him.

An explosion blasted from his side.

And of course, she was heavily armed.

Levi ripped through the streets as Hange remained close behind him, the smell of burnt rubber lingering through the air every sharp turn he made. Another arrow flew by his head, blasting the road in front of him—luckily he was able to drive away just in time before concrete and asphalt could pummel him. It gave her time to catch up to him, and for a moment, he caught a glimpse of her face.

In her eyes was a dark abyss, blank, unrecognizable. Devoid of all the light he ever knew her to be, no smile, no nothing.

It shook Levi to his core.

Distracted, he missed another arrow of hers shooting right at him, and had to jump off the motorcycle to dodge it safely. Levi fell and skidded onto the concrete, yelling out as his skin slid on the rocks.

He was thrown for a loop seeing Hange—relieved to see her again, but simultaneously pained. But, he shook himself out of it. Luckily it was late and no citizens were out and about, but he didn’t want to risk it. So, he made desperate moves to lead himself and Hange at least a little outside the city limits, and he knew just where to go. He ran swiftly back to his motorcycle, and sped down the road towards the docks. A few tears streamed down his face as he rode—whether it was from the road burn or seeing Hange, he wasn’t sure.

——

He led Hange to an abandoned facility just outside the city limits, hopping out to run inside—it’d prevent her from using the explosive arrows in the tight space.

Levi crept through the metal stairs, memories of one of their previous missions ending here on his mind. He hoped the location would stir some memories for her as well. As he searched for higher ground to gain vision for himself, he should have expected Hange to be this fast. There she was, standing on the other side of the metal grate walkway, hanging several floors above ground.

The silence was deafening—he stared at her dark, blank eyes again as they made eye contact—stirring something desperate in Levi.

“Hange, it’s me,” he stuttered, unsure of how to snap her out of it. She ignored his words and pointed her bow at him. Levi dodged as it flew towards him, sliding to swipe her off her feet with a kick.

But the mind-wiping didn’t erase her muscle memory dodging Levi’s go-to move.

She stepped down on his ankle with perfect timing, but he propelled his torso upwards to grab at her bow. He yanked down to bring her to the floor, the metal walkway they were on beginning to swing wildly. The two of them slid and rocked back and forth, tumbling over each other as each tried to gain the upper hand.

“Hange, it’s me, Levi!” He yelled as they struggled. Hange once again ignored his plea, and finally freed herself. To Levi’s surprise, she did the unexpected. He recognize her pulling an explosive arrow, and she aimed it right past him to blow the end of the walkway’s attachment to the ceiling. At this point Levi knew, Zeke had ordered her to kill him—she was not exactly being careful.

The two fell through the air, but Levi was able to ground himself on a platform, luckily catching Hange by the hand before she could fall and severely injure herself, her bow and bag of arrows falling a few stories below, landing with a crash. He took another hand and lifted her up onto the platform, and they began to fight once again. As always, their hand-to-hand combat was evenly matched, each blow matched with a block, every move countered. And like the first time they had ever fought, Levi found himself smiling, and he swore, he saw her smiling too.

It hit Levi like a ton of bricks—the mind-wiping didn’t erase her muscle memory earlier. The mind-wiping didn’t erase what lay in her heart.

And as though Hange was speaking to him, two words weirdly came to mind: “Cognitive recalibration—“

Levi almost laughed out loud as the phrase came to mind.

“Stupid four-eyes,” Levi let out as he remembered her bright voice telling him what that meant years and years ago:

“It means hitting someone really hard in the head, Levi!”

He blocked another punch from Hange, and swung towards her head, but she dodged too quickly. So Levi did the unexpected, tackling her, and her head hit the railing.

Hange yelled out, her hands reaching up to stabilize her head.

“L-Levi?” She said, making Levi’s gut wrench hearing her say his name once again.

Her eyes were still in a daze, not fully there. So Levi decided the safest move…

“Sorry, Hange,” he whispered as he elbowed her in the head, knocking her out cold.

Levi paused, breathing heavily, exhausted. With his sleeve, he wiped the blood dripping from his nose as he stood. He looked down at Hange, and tears of relief fell down his face. He pushed the hair from her face, and kissed her softly on the forehead. Safe.

Levi picked her up, balancing her on his back, letting her head rest on his shoulder. He let himself smile, and climbed down to collect her bow and arrows. He just hoped that it worked, and that her beautiful mind would return shortly.

——

Hange woke, her mind spinning, like she had been riding a crazy roller coaster for days. Her thoughts were cloudy, and she couldn’t hold her head up properly. She groaned, a prickly headache coming on. When she tried moving, she gradually realized her arms were bound to whatever she was sitting on—the word infirmary lit up at the door nearby her, and she tried to ground herself. But, screams of comrades sounded in her brain, broken images of destruction flashed before her eyes before she could focus.

“Are these memories or dreams?” She thought, but it’s like she knew deep down, she wouldn’t be waking up from a nightmare anytime soon. Tears streamed down her cheeks as memories from the past few days became clearer and clearer in her mind.

“Hange…”

Hange looked up, her eyes still dazed.

“You’re gonna be alright.”

Levi stood up, crouching down to look at into her eyes at her level. He almost smiled—she was coming back.

“How do you know I’ll be okay??” She yelled. “I’m still trying to get Zeke out,” she whispered, sweat hugging both sides of her face. Then, Hange continued to cry: “Levi, how… how many agents did I… did I—” “Hange, don’t.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Don’t do that to yourself, Hange. It was Zeke’s doing, not yours.”

She breathed heavily.

“It’ll take some time to level out, Hange. Rest.”

Still trying to find her mind again, she barked back—“Do you know how it feels to be separated from yourself, have your brain played with, unmade??”

Levi paused—she didn’t even know how strong her heart was, that it almost overcame Zeke’s mind wiping even without his help. She didn’t know how powerful she really was.

“…You know I do.”

Hange muttered regretfully, “Sorry.”

Levi shrugged it off, eliciting an understanding smile from Hange.

“You know where Zeke is now?”

“No. But we’ll find him again, won’t we?” A devious grin appeared on Hange’s face. “I’d love to put an arrow through his stupid looking glasses.”

Levi sat down on the bed next to Hange, hands folded neatly in his lap.

“Now you’re sounding more like you.”

Hange smiled and laid her head on his shoulder.

“We’ll get him, Hange. Don’t worry.”

She turned upwards to face him from where her head lay—“What did Zeke do to you, Levi? I know you’re here for me, Erwin, Moblit… the rest of our close comrades. I have not doubt about that. But I never thought you’d ever really care to fight our war.”

Levi looked at his hands, bandages over the road burn from their fight, reminding him of the look of Hange’s eyes completely blank and unrecognizable in front of him. He couldn’t let Zeke walk around earth thinking he could get away with that.

Levi looked down at Hange, seeing only light and warmth dancing around her big brown eyes, a shy smile on her face making his heart happy.

“I guess… I’ve been compromised.”

#levihan #levihan fanfic #marvel au #mcu au #levihan fanfiction #omgomgomgogm im screaming #oh gosh #ok #im so hooked this isnt even ok #i am not ok no no no #levihan as hawkeye and black widow is just a;sldkfasdlkfj #help

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