#im gonna be autistic about it btw im gonna plan the SHIT out of it and maybe do it like next month or something

[generalsdiary]

Moze x Jiaoqiu

warnings: none

word count: 900~

description: just them being domestic (pre-2.5 events)

moze is the type of husband who always cleans, keeps everything neat, he will run (quite literally) anywhere and do any errand without complaint, nothing is too hard or difficult for him. he is v protective, „I promise I will bring him back“, nothing is stopping him from getting his husband back, he is confident in his abilities, to the point he isn't even worrying. he always attentively listens to jiaoqiu’s ramblings, his full attention on the foxian. he will eat anything jiaoqiu puts before him, no matter his preferences. uttering simple praises after the meal and never letting his husband clean up.

at night he cuddles with him, being the big spoon, holding his husband close, face buried in the orangey pink hair. like a touch starved kitten, he gravitates to him during the day, always hugging him- backhugs are his favorite. jiaoqiu always smiles, a sparkle in his eyes with each embrace. moze is often quiet, very thoughtful- usually ending up blunt in his words but not cold, never cold. the care and love for each other shown in the soft words, gentle embraces and lingering gazes. moze doesn’t do causal touches, his hands don’t wander to jiaoqiu’s soft tail, or even softer ears, or to caress him. he doesn’t want to overwhelm his husband or make him uncomfortable. yet when they stand close he bumps his nose against his. and when he is so so tired he rests his forehead on the shorter man’s. recharging, seeking comfort, love. luckily for him, his husband knows his main love language is physical touch. jiaoqiu bringing his hands to cup his cheeks, thumbs caressing the rough skin. he misses the smile that brightens the foxian’s face, his eyes shut relishing in the sensations. such a sensitive and responsive man. jiaoqiu is the only person moze allows to touch him, to drag those soft fingers across his scars, through the silver hair, to see him shirtless. he is the only one with whom he makes and keeps eye contact. moze is the type of husband that even without being close jiaoqiu can feel his touch on him. sitting across him, over a hotpot. lilac eyes on him. full of love. as if he is caressing his husband’s cheek at that moment. making jiaoqiu’s chest feel warm from the feeling of such a silent expression of admiration.

on the days jiaoqiu voices that he feels tired a quick response is given in turn “I can carry you.” a blunt, straightforward, and the same offer every time. he is more than happy to carry him + he enjoys showing off for his hubby. not caring for the public opinion or any observers; it doesn’t even cross his mind, jiaoqiu’s happiness the only thing on his mind. sadly, he is always rejected (occasionally making him pout). moze doesn’t even know why (painfully obvious why, the rare blushed jiaoqiu further confirming it). shadows are his safe haven, but jiaoqiu is his peace. they fill each other's needs, like puzzles fitting together, completely domestic in their behaviors; perfect for general feixiao’s safety and well-being. despite working together they don’t get tired of each other. work is work and their house is home.

coriander is not allowed under this roof and no big lights are ever on. when they have guests, jiaoqiu compensates with many small lamps, fairy lights, and a bunch of candles. unscented ones. otherwise, they would clash with the meal. sometimes, jiaoqiu will light a scented candle, but it won’t be lit for longer than an hour, otherwise, he would get overwhelmed due to how sensitive his nose is to smells. moze being the clean freak, and insistent on maintaining really good hygiene and not strong perfumes so he can do his job perfectly would just make jiaoqiu purr if he could. type of husband truly only for him. jiaoqiu is quite a social butterfly and he drags his husband with him, who will grumble a bit and then go along, and behave politely to the best of his capabilities. moze cannot read a room to save his life, short in his sentences and straight to the point despite pondering his words prior, they end up always coming off blunt. he means no harm and what he says is usually of little matter, and none of it holds any weight to him when all he needs is to hear his darling chuckle or gaze at him and all is well in his world. the only result he could possibly ever wish for.

and when they kiss? the lighting and shadow with fire and spice? the I talk a lot, flirtatious, rarely flustered with I listen to you with heart eyes, mainly unaffected but you make me smile. well… they keep it private. such actions feel too personal and intimate for them to be shown in public and given for anyone to see on display. they hold it too close to their hearts, it matters in a different way to them. something near and dear. they won’t be caught showing pda, not even holding hands- well they rarely hold hands either way. it is behind closed doors and in the privacy of their home that their lips meet, and hands wander, leaving soft touches in intimate places that they’d never do in public (unlike many others). it means too much to them.

[krispiecake]

what if… i went out for the night when i get my new provisional… hmmm.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

i don't know how to sum this up. i haven't slept in four days.

...this is gonna be a long one and im sorry. also literally every fucking one in this whole thing minus V is autistic, i don't know how, but them's the facts.

background info: around... some 8 years ago maybe, my truly BELOVED friend M (today 31F) started hanging out with a new friend group her then-friend S (31F now) had introduced her to.

(i (31 genderqueer) didn't know M then. i do know she was very lonely.)

so. S has introduced M to her friend group, and M hangs out with them for about... two years?, but, as far as i understand, S is the go-between here. M asks S what plans they have on weekends, S calls M when there's plans on weekends, that sort of thing.

what happens is: at one point S's girlfriend, V, starts flirting with M. heavily. in front of S. S VERY MATURELY decides that the solution to this is obviously to start telling M there's never plans on weekends while telling the friend group M is never free on weekends. shitty move, i think we can all agree.

and M ends up alone. she's never heard from a single one of any of those other people ever again. ever.

now. M, OBVIOUSLY and i think with good enough reason, HATES S.

but.

1) it's not S's fault M is no longer friends with the whole group, like M thinks it is. it's just not. if they had wanted to keep hanging out with her, very simply, they would have. S didn't even explicitly ask or tell them not to hang out with M, nor did she talk shit about M to get them to leave her out. and want to know why we know all this? it's because after (AFTER!) S and V broke up, M and V dated for like, three months, and V told M. what S did was shit and immature, but not like. extreme.

2) we don't know if S even knew how lonely M was/was gonna be. in my understanding of what's right or wrong, this is KIND OF REALLY important. the intention, the meanness, the ability to knowingly isolate someone to that degree. jealousy is one thing, being genuinely mean is another.

3) all of this happened 10 years ago. TEN. YEARS. they were like, 20. fetuses. we're all queer, they were all navigating the first romantic experiences, shit happens. S was shit but S also could have become a better person in these TEN YEARS. we just don't know.

OTHER background info: ive known S for like, 10 years, and she's someone VERY interesting who i've always liked (not romantically), but she's not my friend.

ok, and now. fast forward to last week. M & i & F1 (27F, my bestie, M's friend) go to a pub. S is there, says hi to me, hi to M (which. like at least apologize or something. but ok) (at this point i have no idea they even knew each other btw), S & i talk a bit like we always do, M goes home (i suspect nothing), S & F1 & i hang out, next thing u know F1 and S start to date and S and i become better friends.

(where i absolutely am the A: apparently, at some point M told me what S did to her. before we met S at the pub? after? i have NO memory of any of this.)

M wants nothing to do with S, as is her right. but at this point F1 is dating her and im making plans to like, watch clone wars with her. M tells me & F1 the whole story (tells again, in my case), tells us she has no problems with us hanging out with S but again, please can we not force them together, which, ofc, i tell her about our star wars plans and like, she's chill, she says yeah sure go for it, she jokes around about how S knows lots of people and we gotta use her to get another friend a girlfriend, shit like that.

forward again. one sunday morning, M asks me to hang out. that sunday just so happens to be clone wars day with S & F1. i tell her. she goes BALLISTIC. like, tachycardia, tunnel vision, palpitations, she's fully ready to never talk to me again because "i can't ask [me] to not hang out with S because that would be toxic, but i just CAN'T be around S, so here we go again, she's gonna steal my friend [me] (...i don't think M cares too much about losing F1, they're not that close), im losing control of the situation, the only way for me to stay in control is to choose to cut off [me] right here and now, so that's what ill do, goodbye forever". and she spends the WHOLE DAY in this frenzy (completely unbeknownst to me!), with multiple people trying to calm her down and like, get her to talk to me. (which OF COURSE the next day she ends up doing, because she loves me, she's just. very autistic.) anyway, at this point (sunday evening) ive been made aware of the situation with M, so i had F2 (F31, she's a mutual close friend who was acting as a kinda peacemaker) tell M i was there for her & ready to talk whenever, and we meet up on monday evening, i get apologized to (M had like, blocked me on all social media 😂) for the whole... overreaction, especially after id been told it was ok to see S, and M officially asks me to stop hanging out with S. i try to tell her "can i ask S about, idk, what was going on in her brain back then". she starts to hedgehog up on me so i shut tf up.

here i am the A again: i know M very well. i should have known it would not actually be okay to see S. i just should have. i do know her.

here i... can't tell how much of an A i might be: i don't want to tell S to fuck off. i WANT to talk to S, figure out how much of an actual irredeemable asshole she is, and only in that case tell her to fuck off. the 3 points i made at the start of this papyrus are still valid. also i think it's kind of fair to give her the right to like, defend herself? explain herself? before i go full ghost on her

... its like this. it's not like i care about S. not to be mean but she's no one to me. i just would like her to BE someone to me, cause she seems cool.

i have few friends. i would like one more friend.

i also made friends with a friend of S, T (can't remember age NB). they're the only other genderqueer person i know irl. id like to get to know them. (also they're kind of cute but that's genuinely not that important lol, i just like to make this post Even Longer). i wouldn't get to know T if i did what M wants (needs?) me to.

and let's not forget S is currently dating my close friend F1. just to put icing on the cake.

then again, i adore M. my loyalty to her SHOULD be more important than two people who are, again, no one to me. i should just tell F1, sorry, i won't hang out with ur gf, like ill be civil to her but i won't pursue a friendship with her. because i don't NEED to. i don't NEED these friendships. i would just LIKE them.

if S turns out to BE an asshole who hurt M on purpose, it's great, it's golden. problem solved. ill tell her she's shit and, i mean, F1 will probably break up with her too. no one gained or lost anything from a whole shebang were i haven't slept in like 4 days and got a stress herpes or whatever it's called, it's cool, it happens, go us.

but if S is... justifiable? understandable? NOT a dick? i don't feel i have an actual reason to delete her number. would i, for M? probably, yeah, but i don't WANT to.

F1 says im a doormat. F2 says im basically a monster and how could i do this to M when there's plant of other friendly fish in the sea.

AITA?

and while we're at it, if someone feels like giving advice... what do i do?

What are these acronyms?

[gemwolfz]

good morning chat (<- it's 12:30 pm) its time for a GEM FROG WATCHPOST (instead of putting it in the bg while i draw because ive accepted i cant draw and read at the same time)

btw my very legal straming site doesnt have episode descriptions and no way im remembering an episode thats been mentioned by number so i have no idea what im getting into. also im setting a timer to truly see how long my autistic ass can stretch a 15 minute episode. ok lets get started :)

okay first of all intro i havent seen yet lets GOOOO. PURURU SIGHTING IN THERE HEY GIRL!! i actually need to watch some eps with pururu in em btw. like hey show her to me. anyway good intro lots of guys spotted :)

^ CATEGORY 5 DORORO EVENT HI. experiencing the horrors as usual i see

i see so this is what we're doing today huh. do you intend to rip my heart out.

im sorry they have a fucking invasion planning chore wheel? thats really funny

OH IT'S THIS ONE HUH. THIS IS WHAT WE'RE DOING HUH (lovingly)

wcdonalds btw. sorry sorry wcdonalds cracks me up every time in any show

^^ his ass did NOT process what was just said!!!

he had it right the first several times cmon man.

hes taking this in stride huh. even in category 5 THE LORE situations the silly grind doesnt stop

why is zeroro resonance so fucking stupid btw. sorry man.

screenshot that speaks for itself man

somehow i dont think "my alien ninja partner is in serious trouble i need to leave immediately" will be counted as an excused absence by your teachers but after scaling a building in a single leap i dont think anybodys gonna question you. i love you koyuki

[this image set broke in the editor but it included keroro and tamama calling zeroro SO MEAN for not explaining his plan to them] frankly i respect keroros unwillingness to treat situations with the proper gravity because i do the same thing king

his ass does not care

he changed his mind something is terribly wrong

okay lets be real here the platoon would NOT have found him there. if he hadn't been able to contact koyuki he'd have been fucked. badly. something something being saved again by the person who showed you the warmth and beauty the planet has to offer

literally yeah the fate of the planet is held by natsumi being able to throw frogs like splat balls. pov youre giroro and the number one person standing between you guys and invasion is decidedly the girl who is constantly personally stopping you from blowing shit up. this is a personal attack

important and relevant but also im sorry "brat" is incredibly funny word choice coming from tamama

no reaction i can put into words. btw this episode is labelled as a filler episode. just so you know. i just think thats funny. haha so silly

aye.......................................... i would be using more reaction images but i have to prioritize screenshots. anyway god.

they were holding their fucking BREATH. his ass could have died!! badly!!! their deep sigh of relief is not as visible as i'd have hoped but you know. you feel me.

there are reactions i am making that are sound effects i cannot put into words sorry. im better at posting silly nonsense im sure you understand. hell, post horse staring at the ocean MAN again

he goes "i'm sorry about that, everyone!" as if it was fucking nothing. DUDE. This is why you caught that trauma-eating brain parasite because you just act like shit was NOTHING DUDE...

........yea...........................

NO EYECATCH OR ANYTHING? YOURE JUST GONNA TAKE US TO THE NEXT EPISODE? OKAY. OKAY THATS FINE. THAT'S FINE.

gem conclusion:

anyway i spent an hour watching this ten minute episode. sorry for maybe a weak reaction post i need to stir this episode in my head like a soup. thank you plates for your recommendation. join me in the rbs later as i may watch episode B and experience whatever tonal whiplash this episode came with

[midnighteloquence]

watashi wa jisatsu shitaidesu

ignore whatever that means its a /nsrs

anyways! lets talk about why i no longer like friend d!

so im gonna split this rant into TWO PARTS!

Part A: things ive noticed myself/seen first hand

okay number one! they said that theyre diagnosed with bipolar, which THEY ARENT. first off, diagnosis are expensive asf no matter what youre trying to diagnose and im not being mean at all but just saying theyre on the free lunches plan soo, two diagnosis takes agessss and they just so happen to suddenly have one??

number two, theyll shit talk like everyone. i only started noticing recently that most of what comes out of their mouth is shit talk. and its fine if you have a lot to say about shitty people but then you immediately talk to them again as if you didnt just say you want to curb stomp them?? it gets confusing and ngl is really bitchy

number three! milked tf out of the fact that one of their friends said they might be autistic. which no. autism isnt something you should milk for attention!! and like the only symptoms they have are the depressive ones which USUALLY should lead you to believe that maybe you just have depression? idk im not a psychologist

on that note, they want to be a psychologist, yet doesnt understand why people act the way they do (like theyll shittalk people for things they cant fucking control) and also has rheir own problems? this would most likely be even more self destructive right? to have to solve others mental health before your own? idk im just thinking

also also they seem to care more about getting into relationships (AT THE AGE THEYRE AT) than grades which uh. yes i am literally on my knees yearning for a relationship but also at least im actually doing school and excelling academically ✌️

plus dont you gotta do good at school to be a psychologist?? thats like a really hard subject

Part B: things ive been told

this part is where it gets more blurry, since some isnt backed up (but most is dw!)

they dated C two years ago and used to do freaky shi to them at the back of the bus (make out, cuddle, touch thighs, etc), which a friend of ours i’ll call F saw first hand! um ew.

they trauma dumped on C first things first which uh

C and F would sit with each other a lot and talk alotttt because theyre both neurodivergent and nd people tend to go well and D got all pissy and like “me when my friends leave me out..” and so to shut them up (shut me up? by msi?) F told them that they might be autistic and they started milking tf out of it

told a bunch of people that C sa’d them which C did not! also told F that C’s sa story was fake and that C mentally and physically abused them (there are screenshot proof of D saying this btw!)

told people that im not autistic and that im faking it because im self diagnosed which THEY LITERALLY ARE + IVE DONE COUNTLESS HOURS OF RESEARCH ON AUTISM LEAVE ME ALONE

something ive noticed but isnt it weird that all their relationships lasted only a couple months? kinda says something

would manipulate people into taking their side by saying “oh dw its my fault not theirs!”

on that note their recent partner broke up with them AND GAVE A WHOLE ASS GOOGLE DOC ABOUT WHY WITH AMAZING EXPLANATIONS + SAYS A THOUSAND TIMES THAT IT ISNT THEIR FAULT, but C twisted it to make them the bad guy which tf he has the best moral compass of everyone ik stfu

jokes alot about substance abuse (which they do btw) but it just gets like “what am i supposed to say?”

ON THAT NOTE OF NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY they texted F that they tried killing themselves and F responded with an “oh” because tf are rhey supposed to say to that?? (F told me that they were literally crying when they saw that)

was a terrible friend to F, F noticed and cut off ties (good for them!! They have so much courage because i could legit never i love them for that 💪💪) and then they proceeded to send a lengthy apology which was all bs btw!

ive been told that they faked their trauma, substance abuse, and their eating disorders, but tbh im not sure if that’s true or not (considering ive seen texts theyve gotten from their mum about eating)

minor but they say theyre goth but dont even listen to the music which is the whole point! and also doesnt follow the political opinions of goth!

(did the same with punk, btw!)

not sure if true or if C said this to save their own ass but apparently D got C to shit talk me (i talked about in an earlier rant) which errr…

Secret Part C: small details

this section is in bullet points!

insulted F “jokingly” to the point they had huge gender dysphoria

thought F had a crush on their bf (at the time) when F’s literally a lesbian

not only a pathological liar but a inconsistent one!

okay this is kinda hypocritical but they follow sh blogs that show cvts

+ says the cuts are cute (which is something i dont do. i actually dont even follow them but from time to time i’ll scroll through and want to vomit /nav)

literally gave me a step by step tutorial on how to purge

not lying!

complained about their bf not kissing them in public (which is something you talk to your bf about not me! + boundaries fucking exist?)

very minor but alot of the stuff they like its mostly because it got popular on tt

will say shit like “ive only been catcalled like three times in this outfit!” which no ew + gave me a massive insecurity that im not pretty enough! choose your words wisely!

so to sum it all up theyre a terrible human being and im glad i dont talk to them anymore! thanks for reading this lengthy post!

[kidkintsugi]

so theres this guy that i think might have feelings for me but i cant recipocrate?

this is really stressful to me!

hes not the guy who recently found out my gender is transed btw

this guy lives about an hour away from my hometown and 2 hours away from the place i stay at for uni. i met him at a pride parade 2 years ago and ever since weve been hanging out sometimes? not regularily bc of the distance but just enough, im happy and hes happy ig no pressure

we spent a lot of time together last summer. we took a lot of train rides together, met up for more pride parades, visited museums etc. it was EXTREMELY cool and i hope to do the same again this year!

but hes been getting kind of flirty over the course of it.

i usually dont mind flirting, it doesnt even really register to me as romantic because im a bit dense (LMAO) and i flirt with my friends all the time because we all know its just for shits and giggles? at least i hope so.

so then he invited me for his birthday last year. of course i wanna visit a friend for his birthday so i went. i was one of the only guest there because a lot of people declined last minute??? which is SUPER rude and i got super mad over that but thats not what this is about.

he keeps getting closer. i laugh it off he laughs too. he keeps going out with 2 other people that came to visit for "smoke breaks", he comes back in saying that "they thought we looked like a couple the way we look at eachother ahaha"

somethings off? hes been saying this a lot to me, saying that others think we are a thing and then asking me if "we arent one or are we?". I always answer with a laugh and an "obviously not". and also i dont really know what it means to 'look at eachother' like that because a) no eye contact and b) no prolonged staring on my part, thats all his doing

up to this point i always thought it was a joke obviously but god damn that night?

that night he got genuinely upset. he seemed really jealous when i was talking about other guys i was hanging out with. "haha why dont you spend time like that with me?" "why dont you call me x?" "why arent we doing y together?" all the time.

it gets later, we drank a bit (i really dont drink a lot i dont like the taste of alcohol) and he keeps leaning onto me, holding my arm when someone outside was approaching the door saying that "hes a bit scared :(" things like that. recording me singing, touching me when laughing, i can always blame it on the alcohol but with all the things that have been happening its really glaring isnt it?

its time for me to leave because its getting late and at this point we were alone except for his little brother who jokingly kept implying that "me and the guy should kiss because were both gay" which i. also laughed off and declined wholeheartedly lmao. something was definitely off and i needed to get out?

the car parks. i give his little brother a handshake to get him off me because he was really clingy (but also funny as hell oh my god) and head for the car.

"hey, no goodbye for me? :("

i wasnt planning to not say goodbye i was just. in a rush to get his brother off me lol.

so he comes closer and gives me a hug, fully aware that i dont like hugs a lot and takes me into his arms! really close! uh oh.

i move my face and look down because hes REALLY close and i am uncomfortable at this point.

he was so close to my face that my dad thought we were gonna kiss.

i head for the car and wave one last time before telling my dad about what happened and he also agrees that he definitely has a little crush.

the thing is? i dont feel the same bro

i like him as a friend, as i said i enjoyed my time in summer with him endlessly and i like spending time with him in general but feelings are so hard

i am autistic and i have been using the label aromantic as an umbrella term for my attraction for quite a long time now.

its not that i am 100% against the idea of a relationship, but i just dont understand romantic feelings (i dont think i have ever had a crush on someone that isnt a celebrity or a fictional character), i think im just as happy on my own, (pathetic warning:) i feel like im just gonna end up hurting someone and/or being hurt AND i just cant believe that anyone feels that way for me because i think of myself as unlikeable.

all of these mean: yeah! relationships are cool in theory but i dont really get feelings! autism is playing a role here too im sure of it but what am i gonna do about that lol

either way, i really dont want him to get the wrong idea.

because of my new touchy friends ive been feeling really weird and anxious about topics like these. on some days i get stomach troubles and terrible anxiety thinking about being held or touched again.

i also feel like i cant just tell him off because it would ruin our friendship. again, hes a good friend to me.

either way i feel like this ones gonna hurt

[loopy-froots]

Introduction Post! (TW: SA, PTSD, etc.)

Hello slasher fandom! I’m fairly new to this side of tumblr, so forgive me if I don’t understand how all this works yet! I just thought I’d introduce myself because I’ve already posted drawings and fanfiction writings so far, but maybe some of you want to know who’s behind it? If not that’s totally fine, just keep scrolling! But if you’re curious, keep reading! Btw! I’d love to get to know any of you as well, so feel free so say hi! :^]

Facts about me:

I go by the name Donn on this blog (for safety reasons I won’t be sharing my actual or preferred name anywhere on this blog, sorry!)

I chose the name Donn because of the name coming from the Celtic god of dead souls (I’m a Celtic witch by blood so I thought it’d be fitting)

My preferred pronouns when I write are she/they (leaning towards she atm because of some personal issues I deal with irl, but irl I prefer they/them more strictly… does that make any sense?)

Anyways, I’m 18+ and I very much prefer my viewers to be 18+ ONLY because of the NSFW content I post… and I also don’t want to influence anyone that impressionable cuz I have a kinda fucked up mindset atm…

But I hope that’s alright! I know kids will do what they want, and there’s not always much we can do to stop it, but please just be respectful of my wishes and DNI!

I have severe PTSD from many irl traumas that have happened to me throughout my life, and I currently live in an kind of abusive household, so my mental health has not been good…

That’s partially why I started drawing and writing fandom stuff cuz it’s currently what’s keeping me going!

I have diagnosed Adhd, but I take meds for it and am doing slightly better with my productivity! That’s why I’ve been able to crank out as much content as I have in the past few days!

I have undiagnosed autism, but it’s a work in progress cuz I’m like pretty sure I am autistic (for many reasons, the more you get the know me the more obvious it’ll get)

I am disabled in many ways: chronic physical and mental pain/illnesses, hard of hearing, etc.

I’m extremely liberal so DNI if you’re gonna be a bigot or anything cuz I will block you!

I have a partner (Who does not know about this blog yet cuz I’m v shy about sharing this kinda stuff with the people I love… partially cuz of my trauma from past relationships)

Ive suffered from THREE separate abusive romantic relationships… all of which kinda fucked with my head… so forgive my insecurities and everything! (I’m working on it tho!) but this partner I’m currently with is AMAZING AND LOVING so I’m v happy with them!

TW! I’m a S/A survivor, and it was by a friend I trusted, so I get very skittish by people irl because of the betrayal… but I find it easier to get to know people online cuz it’s not as traumatic imo

As you can see, I overshare EVERYTHING for literally no reason… like it just gushes out of me without me being able to stop it… Sorry if you’re unhappy with it! Feel free to block me if it bothers you!

I am currently seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist!! They both help me a lot with functioning as a normal person (even tho there’s no real such thing as a “normal” person imo, but it helps me survive in the society I live in)

I used to be goth, but now I’m forever torn between being goth again or being a cottagecore lesbian lol (I usually dress femme even tho my brain makes me feel like a boy a lot of the time…?)

I am extremely bisexual! Like holy shit! How come everyone is so hot?? Lol but seriously, I go all ways (I know some people say that’d make me pan but I prefer the term bisexual over being pan)

I used to be a little, but I’m not anymore because too many people took advantage of me when I was in my little mindset… I don’t let myself regress anymore unless I’m absolutely alone, but that’s rarely ever (my little age was around 10 btw)

I am extremely sensitive and am an empath! I feel my emotions EXTREMLY STRONG so I overreact to everything, am very passionate about the things I’m in love with, and cry at any given moment! I cannot and will not help it! I’ve been told too many times that I’m too sensitive and that I’m a crybaby and that my heart is too big for my body, but I don’t care anymore! Im refusing to see this as anything but a blessing for now on! Sensitive bitches are the baddest bitches lol

I used to get lots of hallucinations/psychosis, but I take meds for it and am now much better and less paranoid!

I still get paranoid about social situations tho for time to time, as im a very insecure person :(

Im a switch/power bottom! I like to be dominant on occasion, but I prefer to be a bratty sub most of the time!

I am a collector of taxidermy things!! I have several insects on my walls, as well as animal paw jewelry! If you don’t like it that’s alright! Just don’t tell me cuz I will block you! I make sure all my collection items are from humane sources and all the animals die naturally in the wild!

I am a HARDCORE clown/masked person fan… like clowns are sooo gay and sexy like why must you jingle jangle your lil clown bells when you dance like that??😩 and masked persons are just so mysterious and sexy omg

Cicero fro Skyrim was literally my clown sexual awakening… murder clown man… with a squeaky voice… yes… must have!

My first sexual awakening tho was probably Danny Phantom (Which is sooo funny cuz my partner actually named themself after him… coincidence? I think not! God does have a plan! Lol jk… unless?🥺👉🏻👈🏻)

Yes, I use the 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 emojis unironically… no, I’m not proud of it😔

HMU if you relate to any of this or just want to be friends! I’m literally so desperate for friends cuz my old roommate made me cut ties with them and then they spread rumors about me to all my other friends until no one would talk to me anymore… :( so I’m v lonely run…

But anyways, yeah that’s basically me… a huge mess but I’m on my way to getting better I guess…?

If you’re still reading all of this, THANK YOU KIND BEING! You are unlike any other…🥺❤️

Okay bye loves!

[stimmypaw]

stimmypaw reads Thunder & Shadow, another blog post

much like the first time, I am continuing to read A Vision of Shadows for the first time and sharing my thoughts as I go! This post of course has a bunch of spoilers for Thunder and Shadow. It’s all in the read more, have fun!

I'm so glad echosong is okay but what will she do??? Where will she go??? I'm so worried

I don't like it that Briarlight is stuck in the medicine den all day, love to see her playing with kits and showing her strength tho she's so sweet and good she deserves better

Now littlecloud is sick too???? Fuck!!!!

Also seems Needlepaw and Alderpaw haven't managed to get along better yet, maybe Alderpaw can talk to her through Leafpool since she's going to Shadowclan?

Also graystripe is awful as always and I love him 2 bits

I love Rowanstar's character too, he's so stupidly proud. Shadowclan has a fun trend of having a long line of mediocre to awful leaders and I feel bad for Tawnypelt, Shadowclans braincell who should be leader.

Jayfeather is gonna miss his friends

YES, SKYCLAN!!!! SKYCLANNNN

Twigkit lifting her front paws im 💖💖💖💖 AAAAA BABY

Graystripe :] he's silly

Omg feather time

If something bad happens to this feather ill fraud my taxes I will commit many crimes this delivery must happen safely and if anyone takes it from violetkit I will Kill

Omg sleekpaw don't be so mean poor littlecloud :c medicine cats are important!!

I see alderpaw leaving his feather behind alderpaw get it to violetkit Now

Oh God imagine being puddlekit, shadowclan needs to get its shit together real fast

Leafpool is just that picture (i do not see) while trying to process the mess they got her in

OKAY SO I'm glad he's getting along with needlepaw and that he can finally give violetkit her feather but LITTLECLOUD GUYS??? LITTLECLOUD?????????

My heart melted with violetkit, this was so sweet, why are the queens so mean to her??? She's just an autistic icon bro!! Like every cat I like in these books.

Alderpaw: hey I have an idea, why don't we commit crimes?

Needlepaw: FINALLY I THOUGHT YOUD NEVER ASK

VIOLETKIT POINT OF VIEW FINALLY???? FUCK YES YESSSS YES YES SHADOWCLAN TIME IM SO HAPPY THIS IS SO COOL

Last time this happened the character immediately died tho

Hm

I am suffering for violetkit

i wish violetkit would spend more time with leafpool im sure she’d be caring maybe?? maybe im just desperate for violetkit to be loved

no one here knows how to treat a kit

OH YES YESSS

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS SSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHEYRE TOGETHER AGAIN

im so sad

im 

broooooo

aaaaa i hope needlepaw treats violetkit better from now on, this is hearbreaking.

Fuck I knew it, the rogues are coming for them aren’t they? And where’s Skyclan now????? fuck fuck fuck

ok I have no clue who Fernsong is but he’s funny already why is he like this what is happening why is he blocking them from looking at Honeykit while talking about how worried he is about her?? Absolutely misterious I love him

  Jayfeather 🤝 Yellowfang

 “I don’t want kits around me”

oh the girls are fighting

oh the girls ARE fighting

furzepelt had a cool name im sorry to hear he only existed to die immediately :c

onestar also is very proud, im glad he accepted help this time tho

SPARKPAW MED CAT MOMENT HAHAH

i forgot bumblestripe was a cat and i was wondering if it was just a typo for bramble

also what’s up with dove and tiger??? i forgot everything about their relationship in the previous books because i don’t care about it and the erins tend to write some pretty boring straight couples

the way they’re described makes me feel like needlepaw and sleekpaw are just differently colored versions of each other at times, are they related?? they don’t seem to be.

and here’s the bit that’s previewed, oh boy, it must have been seriously scary being violetkit, but i hope they don’t convince her the clans hate her :c thunderclan likes her shadowclan just sucks

What do these background cats want from Twigkit???? To shoot lasers out of her eyes?? I guess she isn’t magical or anything but also she’s just a kit??? Firepaw was also just a kittypet and he’s a big deal :/// y’all just don’t get it, I hope Twigkit doesn’t get Dovepaw’s protagonist anxiety

I know Twigkit is being scolded but this scene is just so cute like Jayfeather is just tucking her in a moss bed while being mad at her for leaving camp

Thats another one I need to draw i love them

SPARKPELT YESSSSS YESS SYE SYES YES 🎊🎉🎉🎉🎊🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈💖💖💖💖💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💕

Mothwing ableist????? That's cringe

Omg poor kestrelflight

Jayfeather misses Leafpool so bad, Puddlepaw must feel awful though

OLD AGE? H HOW OLD IS LEAFPOOL THEN???

?????? OH GOD IM LOVING THIS???

This apprentice rebellion is Nuts its so good oh fuck!!! I'm loving whats happening here its awful and perfect

Violetkit is getting bitter :c she needs 2 be embraced and loved stat

She is also clearly getting some bad dependency and abandonment issues, desperate to do anything to please so she won't be left alone again :c

FUCK NO NO NO AAAA NEEDLEPAW WHAT WWERE YOU THUNKING??????? JESUS POOR VIOLETKIT

Kitnapping, this is bad

Oh, very interesting

These apprentices and rogues are so smart god this is a perfect plan

Twigkit absolutely is the sunshine

I love her interactions with Alderpaw, I wish she had gotten to see her sister

In comparison Violetkit looking around camp desperate for attention is awful

Oh fuck bribing

NEEDLEPAW DONT BE MEAN TO VIOLETKIT :C

Oh fuck ou fuck the 4chan kids are angry

??? BRO WHAT??? DONT KICK OUT VIOLETKIT, THATS WHY YOUR APPRENTICES TURNED INTO ANCAPS DAMN

I'm angy

Oh no

Something bad happened :c

Bramblestar: good day!

Rowanstar: Oh Is it??? You could say that while starving in winter, cringe ass

Mistystar: its not winter tho

Onestar: well you're fat

God rowanstar must be obliterated

Hey where's the rowanstars maps use idk loon on a lake or something this man has angst!!!

I appreciate Ivypool is her mentor, at least Someone is honest about whats going on and hey they can both relate on the fear of not being special! Ivypool can be very good to Twigpaw im counting on her

Oh fuck

Violetpaw sounds like she's in trouble with the rogues :c aa

AAAA TWIGPAWWWW AAAA

Violetpaw don't be mean about your sister :C she misses you so bad

Sleekwhisker is like that dad that let his kid starve until she learned to open a bean can she didn't want

Holy fuck

Aaaa violetpaw D:

Jesus christ that was awful

That was so intense I was so nervous for Violetpaw, I'm really happy for her now aaaa

Another gathering already? Wowie

I hope Shadowclan gets those herbs soon :c

I see he appeal in FernIvy and I appreciate it

Violetpaw and Twigpaw sharing a den my heart......this is IT

Jayfeather: I want to steal

I'm listening to Burn Pygmalion! and "viscious kin" is very fitting for this series ehhehe

I love violetpaw and twigpaw btw

IM CRYING

I cant believe Alderpaw is an all lives matter kinda guy

Yesss rebel get those herbs alreadyyy

Starclan has agreed to let kestrelflight kill onestar, goodbye onestar /j

Epic I love you harespring

Alderpaw being confused at Jayfeather saying he is proud is the Best

What an ending! Terrifying and hopeful at the same time, I am very excited to see the hijinks Bramblestar and Rowanstar will get into and how they will go searching for Skyclan, it was PAINFUL to have that prologue talking about them with 0 hope of them showing up again Nothing Nada Zilch, feels like that and the ending were just 2 remind us that that was still the major plot point hahaha, I appreciate it I guess. I'm glad Violetpaw and Twigpaw are on uh good terms despite it all, not very ideal and they're both upset but they still consider each other siblings and know they care about each other :'0 Alderheart getting his name is epic too!!! I was hoping he would soon. I loved everything about his interactions with Jayfeather here, loved all the characterizations really it was just top notch, Onestar being a bastard, Needletail, OH AND SHADOWCLAN JOINING THE ROGUES, top notch!!!! The ancap apprentices were a riot.

This was a good book!!! Flowed very nicely and smoothly, reading in shadowclan's point of view for more than around 3 chapters was great. I can barely wait for the rest!!! Will Violetpaw find belonging in this new era of Shadowclan??? Or will she leave again??? Will Alderheart somehow figure out where Skyclan is and get them together at the lake??? Will Twigpaw get all the spicy details of Dovewing's secret romance with Tigerheart??? Who knows!! But I am very excited to find out what happens next :D

[airventsandductape]

I want to break up with my bf.

Everytime i try to talk to my bf about how unhappy i am in our relationship he tells me im making him depressed  like bro, how do you think i feel.

and then he makes me feel so bad that I have to apologies  even though im so unhappy here i feel like I have no choice but to leave  Im highly considering moving back in with my mother I cant stand it, it feels like I’m living with a friend  he’s telling me I’m abusive that I take advantage of him but so is he. we’re so bad for each-other everything about our relationship is so wrong the only reason I moved here is because I didnt want him to kill himself, it wasn’t out of love or excitement to get an apartment, i didnt want him to die He doesnt feel like my boyfriend. and now he’s suddenly A sexual even after years of having a sex drive and A sexuality isnt caused by trauma  I tried telling him this but he gets OFFENDED and tells me im being discriminatory to Asexual people like  like no you probably have sexual aversion disorder  and even then people who are A sexual and have SAD still plan sex with their partners but he refuses to believe that, and thinks its all forced and that everyone who’s A-sexual is getting raped??????? :v  bro you’ve literally never stuck your penis in me but at least you used to try. I’m 26 and I’m still a virgin. kinda mad. I don’t even remember the last time I was happy in our relationship I thought making myself an office would make me at least a little happy about living here but every-time I go in there I just contemplate hanging myself because I finally have the privacy to do so. I know he’s not perfect I knew that when I started dating him He doesn’t like anything I write and likes to constantly remind me my writing is shit which absolutely killed my self esteem and now I’m afraid of sharing anything I make to anyone, only recently did that start to get even moderatly better but then he had another screaming fir that my writing is shit and now my modivation is shot.  And of course he’s gonna put this under the guise of critisism  He’s convinced all his friends I cant take critisism, when no its just his critisism cause his version of critsisism is “You fucking suck give up let me do it for you”  He’s pretty much hijacked one of my stories too, one ive been working on since I was 15  I just gave up and let him work on that because he was being so fucking insistant. but none of my input on my own story matters

We hardly do date nights anymore. he used to try.  he used to fucking try but now its like i just get a kiss once a day or a hug or a headpat sometimes and to him thats enough physical affection.  Its really hard pretending to be happy ive woken up the past 3 days nuclear pissed off i almost threw something at him yesterday because he was trying to hijack the story im writing right now instead of fucking working on his own (which, btw used to be my story as well. I know there’s a pattern here.) He thinks my writings so back that he takes over whatever im oing but he doesnt realize its just ripping my voice out. whenever i point any of this shit out to him he uses the fact that he’s autistic as an excuse but he DOES have control over his actions.  and he can stop himself from being an asshole.  I feel like i have to medicate myself to stay here.  since the day i moved into this state all ive been thinking is “I want to go home but I have no home to go to.” and I know if i show my bf this he’d just get insulted and yell at me.