#idk what this is i just had to write it down after watching the 2.5 livestream

[generalsdiary]

Moze x Jiaoqiu

warnings: none

word count: 900~

description: just them being domestic (pre-2.5 events)

moze is the type of husband who always cleans, keeps everything neat, he will run (quite literally) anywhere and do any errand without complaint, nothing is too hard or difficult for him. he is v protective, „I promise I will bring him back“, nothing is stopping him from getting his husband back, he is confident in his abilities, to the point he isn't even worrying. he always attentively listens to jiaoqiu’s ramblings, his full attention on the foxian. he will eat anything jiaoqiu puts before him, no matter his preferences. uttering simple praises after the meal and never letting his husband clean up.

at night he cuddles with him, being the big spoon, holding his husband close, face buried in the orangey pink hair. like a touch starved kitten, he gravitates to him during the day, always hugging him- backhugs are his favorite. jiaoqiu always smiles, a sparkle in his eyes with each embrace. moze is often quiet, very thoughtful- usually ending up blunt in his words but not cold, never cold. the care and love for each other shown in the soft words, gentle embraces and lingering gazes. moze doesn’t do causal touches, his hands don’t wander to jiaoqiu’s soft tail, or even softer ears, or to caress him. he doesn’t want to overwhelm his husband or make him uncomfortable. yet when they stand close he bumps his nose against his. and when he is so so tired he rests his forehead on the shorter man’s. recharging, seeking comfort, love. luckily for him, his husband knows his main love language is physical touch. jiaoqiu bringing his hands to cup his cheeks, thumbs caressing the rough skin. he misses the smile that brightens the foxian’s face, his eyes shut relishing in the sensations. such a sensitive and responsive man. jiaoqiu is the only person moze allows to touch him, to drag those soft fingers across his scars, through the silver hair, to see him shirtless. he is the only one with whom he makes and keeps eye contact. moze is the type of husband that even without being close jiaoqiu can feel his touch on him. sitting across him, over a hotpot. lilac eyes on him. full of love. as if he is caressing his husband’s cheek at that moment. making jiaoqiu’s chest feel warm from the feeling of such a silent expression of admiration.

on the days jiaoqiu voices that he feels tired a quick response is given in turn “I can carry you.” a blunt, straightforward, and the same offer every time. he is more than happy to carry him + he enjoys showing off for his hubby. not caring for the public opinion or any observers; it doesn’t even cross his mind, jiaoqiu’s happiness the only thing on his mind. sadly, he is always rejected (occasionally making him pout). moze doesn’t even know why (painfully obvious why, the rare blushed jiaoqiu further confirming it). shadows are his safe haven, but jiaoqiu is his peace. they fill each other's needs, like puzzles fitting together, completely domestic in their behaviors; perfect for general feixiao’s safety and well-being. despite working together they don’t get tired of each other. work is work and their house is home.

coriander is not allowed under this roof and no big lights are ever on. when they have guests, jiaoqiu compensates with many small lamps, fairy lights, and a bunch of candles. unscented ones. otherwise, they would clash with the meal. sometimes, jiaoqiu will light a scented candle, but it won’t be lit for longer than an hour, otherwise, he would get overwhelmed due to how sensitive his nose is to smells. moze being the clean freak, and insistent on maintaining really good hygiene and not strong perfumes so he can do his job perfectly would just make jiaoqiu purr if he could. type of husband truly only for him. jiaoqiu is quite a social butterfly and he drags his husband with him, who will grumble a bit and then go along, and behave politely to the best of his capabilities. moze cannot read a room to save his life, short in his sentences and straight to the point despite pondering his words prior, they end up always coming off blunt. he means no harm and what he says is usually of little matter, and none of it holds any weight to him when all he needs is to hear his darling chuckle or gaze at him and all is well in his world. the only result he could possibly ever wish for.

and when they kiss? the lighting and shadow with fire and spice? the I talk a lot, flirtatious, rarely flustered with I listen to you with heart eyes, mainly unaffected but you make me smile. well… they keep it private. such actions feel too personal and intimate for them to be shown in public and given for anyone to see on display. they hold it too close to their hearts, it matters in a different way to them. something near and dear. they won’t be caught showing pda, not even holding hands- well they rarely hold hands either way. it is behind closed doors and in the privacy of their home that their lips meet, and hands wander, leaving soft touches in intimate places that they’d never do in public (unlike many others). it means too much to them.

[songmingisthighs]

Beefcake Raccoon

group : ateez

pairing : yeosang × reader (ft. boyfriend!jongho)

genre : smut

wc : 6.5 k

tw : mdni, explicit smut, unprotected sex, consensual sex, slight m × m (ofc between jongsang), fingering, cum tasting, dirty talk, cowgirl, creampie, mentions and description of jongho's junk, idk what else to tag here ngl

a/n : pt. 1 of an impulsive mini series with @bro-atz and @skteezcursed. pt. 2 and 3 will be added here once they drop! and yes, i call yeosang beefcake raccoon. how can i nawt when he looks like this ??? and yea i kinda went overboard with this because i had planned on writing 2.5-3k but here we are

a/a/n : it's 12.38 am and i'm sleepy and still sick as fuck and i had the sudden raging NEED to purchase all of the aniteez keyring. which i might do. idk if this is my manic episode making a comeback or me having impulse control issue

buy me coffee ?

beefcake raccoon | concrete bear | manwich

Yeosang isn't really one to butt into other people's business, not even when certain things affect him personally.

For example, he never really voiced out how much he didn't like the way Hongjoong would come into his room, steal his supplements, and just leave things a mess. Mind you, he has no problem with letting the older guy take a couple pills or tablets from what could only be described as a collector's mountain. Heck, he's a firm believer in sharing whatever they own especially with people Yeosang already thought of as family. He just didn't like the way Hongjoong tended to leave some of the bottles not properly screwed. He hates seeing things not properly screwed. So he would just take a breath and clean up after the captain.

Another example is when a tornado came barrelling in. And no, it's not a real tornado which would have probably been better. Yeosang didn't voice out his complaints when his best friend of almost a decade suddenly came by the dorm he shared with Yunho only to kick him out. "Yunho and I are in this small gaming tournament and we need to beat this son of a bitch," Wooyoung said as he set up his gaming stuff on the dining table with Yunho who stopped momentarily and furrowed his eyebrows at this frantic friend, "You do know punchpunch483 is 12 years old, right?" which resulted in Wooyoung glaring at him, "A punk is a punk no matter the age, I will not stand the disrespect that's why he and his guild are going down so deep in the ground he can say hi to his grandpa." At that point, Yeosang simply clocked out of the conversation, dejectedly resigning to the fact that he wasn't going to be able to just watch his show in his bed and fall asleep to it.

There were some conflicts in Yeosang's brain, however. One good thing about the dorm Wooyoung shared was the fact that he lives with a workaholic nomad and an introverted busybody. One bad thing about the dorm Wooyoung shared was the fact that said dorm is often occupied by a girl Yeosang has a crush on and that girl is dating one of his other best friends.

Yeosang considers Jongho to be one of the luckiest men to be alive to be dating you. You, who in his mind is the most adorable sweetheart of a human being to have ever lived. It wasn't like you were the most polite person what with the names you can throw towards people you dislike and mutter towards rude strangers and the screeching laugh you sometimes let out when someone told you a stupid joke. Everything about you seemed so charming in Yeosang's eyes even when you were being touchy with the friend he was oh so jealous of. Sometimes Yeosang wonders, in his existential crisis-ridden thoughts at 3 am, the chances of the two of you being in the same lifetime. He wouldn't say that he was in love with you, but he wouldn't deny that he would often daydream about what it would be like to be with you, to be the one kissing you and to be the one getting back hugs from you. Well, he wouldn't deny it to himself.

So another good thing about Wooyoung's dorm is probably the fact that he could see and interact with you. But one other bad thing is the fact that sometimes he felt like Jongho knew how he thinks about you and that unnerves him. So he tends to avoid moments where you and Jongho are together because he can never seem to control the longing expression on his face and Jongho would always send him a knowing look and he knew one day he would just crack like an egg under hydraulic pressure.

It seemed like his resolve wasn't faring any better because when he first came by the dorm, he saw you on top of Jongho's lap on the couch, kissing him all over his face and whining. He knew he should at least expect to be met with you and Jongho being all over each other, but maybe not to this extent. The sound of him coming in didn't seem to deter either of you from your... Activities.

Whatever dirty thoughts passed Yeosang's head were almost immediately pushed away however when he saw Jongho pushing you away from him gently and sighing, "I told you I can't do this tonight," he said which earned him a scoff from you, "You've been saying that for the past four days, Jongho and frankly I'm starting to can't do it anymore," you said before pushing yourself off of your boyfriend completely. "That is not even grammatical," Jongho chuckled and you only flipped him off before turning to retire to Jongho's room only to pause when you saw Yeosang.

Yeosang's heart skipped a beat when he saw your frown turn into a bright smile, squealing and hugging him tightly. "Raccoon!" You called out happily. Yeosang never knew why, but you had seemed to start calling him 'beefcake raccoon'. Well, you did explain that it was because he was, in your own words, 'beefy' and his hair for his latest comeback made him look like a raccoon so in a sense, your logic did make sense. What doesn't seem to make sense is how you only call him and your boyfriend with adorable yet odd animal names. To you, Jongho was your concrete bear and Yeosang was your beefcake raccoon which pissed Wooyoung and San off but maybe that's because San is a jealous cat and Wooyoung wanted to be called foxy mama and you scolded them for being so relentless.

Despite his nerves, Yeosang grinned and hugged you back gently, not being able to stop himself from inhaling the scent of your shampoo and enjoying your warmth against his body. "Hi (y/n), is something wrong?" Yeosang asked as you both pulled away. At the mention of something wrong, your frown returned and you snapped your head to glare at your boyfriend who was still just sitting there, smiling innocently as if he hadn't denied you sex for four days straight. "Oh something is very wrong but it's with your buddy Choi Jongho over there. I'm starting to think he's no longer turned on by me or by any vagina-owning creature on earth," you hissed. "Okay you can't say things like that because some animals also own vaginas and I'm not into bestiality," Jongho scolded. At that moment, Yeosang thought he should just go to Wooyoung's room because he felt like he was being dragged into people's business and as fun as it is talking about kinks that could possibly lead him to know yours, he was not about to delve into this particular discussion. Luckily, you threw your arms up in the air and turned to him again, "Seriously Yeosang, if you were Jongho, would you choose vocal recording over sex?" Yeosang's eyes widened and he almost blurted out that he would never choose anything over you but thankfully Jongho beat him into answering you, "I'm telling you, Hongjoong hyung has been riding my ass with this new demo and you know how he is when inspiration struck," Jongho tried to reason. With a roll of your eyes you walked away to Jongho's room but not before yelling out, "Well, at least something's riding you, you cocky bastard!"

Jongho seemed unbothered, chuckling by himself as he watched your figure retreat. "You're not following her?" Yeosang asked, looking back and forth between the couple. Jongho simply shook his head, "Nah, she needs time to just... Cool off and I need to resist the temptation because Hongjoong hyung will be pissed if I come into the studio tired and hoarse," Yeosang nodded in understanding because he does understand what Jongho meant, having been on the receiving end of Hongjoong's wrath in the past for being, in Hongjoong's words, unprofessional, unprepared, and unremarkably disrespectful to people's time. But still, Yeosang felt bad for you and he didn't like seeing you pissed like that which was shown by the way he stared in the direction you went to for quite some time before he excused himself to rest in Woyooung's room, missing the way Jongho was staring at him knowingly with a smug smirk on his face.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Yeosang thought that his involvement in your relationship with Jongho would end that night but when he woke up at 7 am the next day, he was met with the sight of Jongho's door open and as he passed the room, he saw Jongho tucking you in and stroking your hair and taking particular focus in the way his friend's shoulder drop when he sighed in disappointment.

Feeling like Jongho could use a moment, Yeosang just quietly tiptoed to the kitchen and helped himself to Wooyoung's stash of good coffee and started brewing.

Soon enough, Jongho showed up and sat down on the stool of the kitchen counter while opening his phone to check his text message, waiting for the manager to inform him that the car had arrived. Wordlessly, Yeosang poured himself and also Jongho a cup of coffee each. Jongho quietly thanked his older friend before sipping his cup in a slightly slumped position.

"Are you okay?" Yeosang asked, sensing something. Jongho sighed and nodded, "I feel bad for (y/n) for denying her sex and it's not like I don't want to, but I'm just not in the position to considering the state I would be in would not be conducive for recording and I really don't want to deal with Hongjoong hyung getting pissy at me," he sighed. Not knowing what else to say, Yeosand decided that he should at least be polite in this situation, "That's rough man, anything I can do?"

That particular question seemed to have turn a switch in Jongho's head because one moment he had a mopey look on his face, and the next, it was pure intrigue.

"You know what, hyung, I think there is something you can do," he said, finishing his coffee and straightening up. Sensing Jongho's resolve genuinely changing, Yeosang raised an eyebrow, "Okay? What can I do?" "Do you think you can accompany (y/n) and make sure she has all her needs met?" Jongho asked. The prospect of spending the day with you made Yeosang's eyes blink faster and heart beat harder. "S-sure, I guess. I have no schedules today so I can take her to wherever she wants," he ensured, clearing his throat when he felt like his tone showcased how excited he was even if it was only sightly. Jongho raised his eyebrows and smirked, realizing that Yeosang hadn't caught his drift, "You'll take her wherever she wants? What about taking her... However she wants?" Still not getting it, Yeosang nodded slowly, "Yes? I'll... Do whatever it is you want me to do to help your girlfriend feel better?"

Jongho couldn't believe how adorably innocent Yeosang was being. Knowing him for years, Jongho realized how some things could easily go over Yeosang's head by no fault of his own. He was just never introduced to the more scandalous side of life and it wasn't like he sought out information either.

Yeosang stared at Jongho in confusion as the younger chuckled and stood up, "Yes, that's... Correct in a sense I guess," Jongho then rounded the kitchen counter to stand in front of Yeosang. Jongho's phone buzzed and he momentarily checked the message he received before shoving his phone into his pocket, "But just to make sure both you and (y/n) get my point," All of a sudden, Jongho pulled Yeosang by his shirt and planted his lips on the older guy. Yeosang's eyes widened and his hands gripped the counter to regain control of his body because the impact from Jongho's sudden attack suddenly sent him reeling.

Initially, Yesoang was sent into a panicked and confused state because what the hell was Jongho doing? Why was he kissing him? What if you woke up and saw your boyfriend and one of his best friends kissing?

Correction, making out.

Somehow Jongho had managed to slip his tongue into Yeosang's mouth and at first, Yeosang wanted to protest and push him away. Heck, he had already gotten a hand on Jongho's shoulder but for some reason, he melted slightly into Jongho and as fucked up as it is, his mind drifted to thoughts that he knew he shouldn't be having. Those thoughts were mainly in the area of 'this is the tongue that had caressed and tasted (y/n)' and it got him hard faster than he cared to admit. The thought of you helped relax Yeosang slightly and before he realized it, he was kissing Jongho back with the same fervor which made Jongho unknowingly smirk, pleased that Yeosang was responding to him.

It wasn't until Jongho felt his phone buzzed again that he pulled away, realizing that he had to go. He couldn't even hide the satisfied look on his face when he saw how flushed Yeosang was after their little makeout session. For sure, you were going to like things just as much as he did should things go according to his plan. "Please give that to (y/n)," Jongho said all too simply as he grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. Still blear-eyed and slightly confused, Yeosang was trying hard to make his brain work. "W-what?" he managed out after he felt air filling back into his lungs. "Give that kiss to (y/n), the exact same way, please?" Jongho grinned, a little bit too happily.

Even with Jongho repeating himself, Yeosang was still trying to make sure of things, putting 2 and 2 was for him especially since he was practically mauled by Jongho. Seeing the state his friend was in, Jongho exhaled sharply and stood closer to Yeosang, "I am giving you full permission to do ABSOLUTELY WHATEVER it is my girlfriend wants you to do to satisfy her, okay? Starting with that kiss. Carte blanche, sky's your limit!" he then placed a hand on Yeosang's right shoulder and tilted his head, "Capische?" Just to make things more sexually confusing for Yeosang, Jongho smiled at him, showing off the gums that cleverly hid his perverted agenda.

"I- I- Capische, I guess?" Yeosang answered, kind of getting what Jongho expected off of him but also still in disbelief. "Awesome! Thanks hyung, I owe you this, I'll pay you back when I think of something, okay?" he said before leaving his friend with a pat on the chest and an extra squeeze that made Yeosang's eyes bulge out (and almost made him let out a sound but in fear of sounding like a car being honked, Yeosang somehow managed to keep the sound in. Things happened so fast all at once and it made him slightly dizzy. It was only 7 am and so many things already happened. Part of him thought that he was imagining things and that maybe he was still asleep and dreaming but he didn't even know where to justify himself dreaming about kissing his friend.

"Hey Sangie, what are you doing up so early?"

Yeosang snapped his focus back to reality at the sound of your voice but the blush returned to his cheeks when he saw you oh so casually walking your adorable self out of your boyfriend's room and trudging to sit down on one of the stools, right where your boyfriend had just set which effectively set his mind drifting to what had just happened.

"H-hey (y/n), morning! What are you doing up at 7 am?" he asked with nerves thickly laced in his voice. You furrowed your eyebrows and checked the clock on your phone before showing him the screen, "Sangie, it's 8.24," you pointed out. Yeosang had stood alone in the kitchen, so deep in his thoughts that he hadn't even realized that an hour had passed and that time had kept on going while he was making out with your boyfriend in the kitchen. So he turned his back on you after saying a simple 'oh', making it seem like he wasn't flustered by pouring you a cup of coffee before setting it in front of you and heading towards the couch to enjoy his now cold coffee.

For a moment, both you and he were silent, neither of you was sharing anything and just enjoying the silence and calmness of the atmosphere. Even when you moved to the couch when Yeosang turned the TV on, neither of you was conversing over anything substantial.

Well, until you brought up your boyfriend.

"Did Jongho say anything before he left this morning?"'

It was almost comical how Yeosang snapped his head in your direction and blinked twice. "I'm not quite sure but I think he mentioned Cate Blanchett?" You furrowed your eyebrows at his answer, "The lady who played Thor's older sister?" "Yes?" "You sound unsure..." you pointed out, crossing your arms on your chest and turning to look at him fully, "Tell me what Jongho told you and I know he told you something," you pressed.

Now Yeosang found himself between a hard and awkward place. The hard place is between his legs and the awkward place is the position of having to tell you that your boyfriend had practically told him to service you, who is his secret crush, should you request for him to. So he kept stammering, trying to find a way to tell you what he needed to tell you while you stared at him, making him even more nervous than he already was.

"I- I- Well, you see,"

Yeosang sat up straighter and shuffled closer to you, prompting you to do the same.

"W- we- I, Jongho and I, he-"

God, he wasn't even this nervous at his audition and frankly it was starting to annoy you.

"Just spit it out!"

"Fuck it,"

Before you know it, Yeosang pressed his lips on yours, his body no longer at the end of the couch but hovering above you with arms caging your head. The impact caused you to let out a sound of surprise as you were not expecting Yeosang to jump on you like that. There was a nagging voice in the back of your head that was screaming for you to push him away but there was another voice that spoke louder than the former voice. That voice belonged to your boyfriend and it came from the memory you had from earlier in the morning when he woke you up to tell you that he felt bad for disappointing you for the past four days and he was going to make it up to you. Then your brain tried to connect that memory with the text message your boyfriend sent to you, stating that his apology gift has been set up and you can claim it from Yeosang. Was this it?

"Jongho," Yeosang panted as he shifted his lips from yours down to your chin and jaw, "Left you a kiss," your eyes rolled back when he took your earlobe between his teeth and started nibbling, "With me, and he wanted me to deliver it for you," he finished before reconnecting your lips once again. You moaned into his mouth when he slipped his tongue and allowed your own to battle his for dominance.

The kiss was electrifying, breath-taking, and cunt clenching. You couldn't help but spread your legs wider so Yeosang could push your body completely flat on the couch. At this point, his crotch made in contact with yours and you could feel from your short sleeping shorts and his own sweatpants that he was long and hard. Another moan was sent into his mouth and the feeling of vibration made Yeosang grind his crotch onto you, taking it as the perfect moment to let you know the other part of the message.

"A-also," you whined when Yeosang pulled away slightly, resting his forehead on yours, "Jongho wanted me to... Satisfy all of your needs, however you want, wherever you want."

Looking into his eyes, you saw how his pupils were blown and the flush on his face made your heart burn slightly, realizing that he wanted you just as much as you wanted him at that moment. You were not sure if it was because of how needy you were from being denied sex for almost a week or if your teeny tiny crush on your boyfriend's friend was forced to bloom due to the circumstances. Of course, the circumstances are the fact that your boyfriend had allowed his friend to kiss and fuck you should you want to.

"So, Jongho told you to just kiss me or did he specify that you had to kiss me like that?" you teased, starting to relax and opening yourself up for Yeosang who had dropped his gaze from your eyes down to your lips. "He... Left me a kiss but what I gave you is partially from him but mostly from me," he muttered before he dove down to attach his lips to your neck. As he began sucking the sensitive skin, your body reacted automatically to him, your hands curled on the base strands of his hair as your heels hooked on the backs of thighs, allowing his crotch to press closer to yours. "Fuck, is this your way of telling me that you've been wanting to fuck me?" you moaned when his teeth grazed against your jugular, causing your cunt to clench and your spine to tingle. At that point, you were sure that you were soaked but you couldn't be too sure because the warmth pressing on your crotch could Yeosang's body warmth. "No, this is me telling you I didn't like to see you so disappointed because Jongho, your boyfriend, has been denying you sex so I want to help you feel better." As he spoke, you felt his hands creep up to the waistband of your shorts and your breath hitched in both anticipation and excitement, wanting to see just how much you both could go with the fact that you've already gotten your boyfriend's approval in the bag. Toying with the band whilst simultaneously teasing the skin underneath, Yeosang looked up at you with eyes full of hope and desire, "Can I help you feel better?"

It didn't take you long to nod, giving him the confirmation to proceed which he happily obliged by pulling your bottoms so hard he ripped your panties slightly. Yeosang misunderstood the widening of your eyes as a bad thing and he immediately cringed, apologizing profusely as he told you he felt bad and that he would buy you a new pair. So it surprised him when you pulled his face up and hungrily kissed him. "That was so hot, Yeosang, I'm totally okay with that," you said breathlessly, starting to grind your now bare cunt onto his crotch, delighting yourself at the feeling of something hard pushing back against your needy clit. "Jongho has been the only person to be able to do that and fuck did he make such a good decision entrusting you," you whimpered, pulling on Yeosang's bottom lip needily.

Hearing the way you talked about him made Yeosang's heart soar and he suddenly felt the need to show you just how much exactly he had been thinking about you and pleasing you. Confidently, Yeosang pressed two of his fingers against your pussy, effectively trapping your clit between his two digits. His eyes never left your face, enjoying the ecstasy-ridden look on your face as you threw your head back whilst a high-pitched gasp escaped your lips. Wanting to see that expression again, Yeosang began massaging your clit between his two fingers whilst adding more stimulation by moving his fingers up and down. The pleasure was starting to build in you slowly but surely, adding the fact that it was Yesoang who was giving you pleasure and your mind was sent to a pleasure-induced haze. Had it not been for Yeosang's body between your legs, you would have successfully clamped your legs shut.

A shaky breath left Yeosang's lips when he noticed you reacting positively towards his ministration. To the people who would not understand, they would say Yeosang was weird for reading into your reaction so much but how can Yeosang start to describe how much he loved seeing the way your hips rolled onto his hands? Seeing you seeking more of his touch was a whole other level of satisfaction that Yeosang never even knew existed until he saw it with his own eyes. Between your face and glistening cunt, Yeosang couldn't choose which part he liked best. Then again, he had yet to have the chance to feel his aching cock nesting inside your core so he'd have to reserve his decision for after you came on him.

The dynamic of your expression was beyond anything Yeosang could explain because once his fingers slipped inside you, your face contorted to showcase even more of your ecstasy. "You like that, princess?" Yeosang teased as he curled his fingers inside you, caressing the sensitive walls ever so gently that caused your cunt to leak more arousal and your body to shake from the pleasure. "Fuck yes, I do! Jongho, God bless his physique, is chunky and big but so is his fingers but you, Yeosang- Fuck! You and your damn long fingers are reaching so deep inside me- fuck!" you whined, hips rising as Yeosang's finger pulled all the way out only to slam them back in, revelling in how slick you were when they felt your juices staining his palm. "Long, huh? So... Why do you call me a beefcake?" Yeosang teased, lowering himself closer to your cunt which surprisingly made you a bit shy as seen from the way you tried to close your legs. Of course, Yeosang wouldn't let that happen so he used his upper body strength and directed it to his palms, forcing your legs to stay open and not even caring that your stream of slick was trickling down on the couch. "Excuse you, Yeosang, you're not just a beefcake, you're MY beefcake raccoon," you scoffed as you maintained eye contact with Yeosang in faux confidence, oblivious that your stance was being betrayed by your quivering pupils and blush. "Yours, huh? Is that what I am?" Yeosang tried to bite back the grin on his lips as best he could but it was futile as he couldn't even hide the way his hips grind onto your shin when he heard you referring to him as yours. "I don't know about you but fuck, I love the sound of that," he said shakily before diving down to lick a fat stripe from your drenched hole up to nibble on your clit.

That was the last straw. The teasing, the sexual frustration, and seeing Yeosang between your legs had fucked up your brain so much that all you wanted was him.

Sitting up slightly, you somehow managed to pull Yeosang up by the collar of his shirt and push him so he was the one on his back. The frantic movement of your hands pulling Yeosang's sweatpants and underwear paired with the manic, almost crazed look on your face was absolutely thrilling. "I need you inside me Yeosang, please, I want you to fill me up with cock and cum so bad, I need it now!" you whimpered, pussy drenching the fabric of his thigh so embarrassingly bad that it caused Yeosang's cock to twitch as it was released from its confines.

"Use me then, after all, that's why I'm here."

It was the last confirmation you need before you all too easily slip his cock inside of your cunt. For a moment, the both of you only revelled at the feeling of each other for the first time. Yesoang was enjoying how warm you were and how much he liked the sharp contrast between the cool air and your warm core, the sudden change forced the air to be knocked out of his lungs and his eyes to roll to the back of his head. You, on the other hand, were struggling with the fact that Yeosang was reaching inside you so deep that your legs were starting to shake. As crude as it seemed, your immediate reaction was to notice the difference between him and Jongho. It wasn't like you were ranking or making a pros and cons list in your head, you were just noticing how different they pleasured you. Jongho was definitely shorter but girthier, it was always a struggle to take him in as he filled you up almost immediately and even once you got used to the feeling of fullness, you still struggled to move your own body so usually, Jongho would do the work. But Yeosang, he was slimmer but definitely longer, something you didn't take into consideration on the first impact as once he was sheathed inside of you completely, you felt his tip kissing your cervix and it was a new feeling that you had yet to be accustomed to. Whether it was due to his size or the pool you had created down there, you found yourself able to move on your own a lot easier and that made your brain go fuzzy.

Once you both got used to the novelty of feeling each other so intimately, you began fucking yourself on Yeosang's cock. Right off the bat, you were moving so vigorously and Yeosang could only stare with a slacked jaw. "Fuck, Yeosang your cock is hitting me so deep!" you whined, throwing your head back from the feeling and clenching down on him. Yeosang never had much of a comparison material as he was never one to seek out physical relations so often. But even then he knew that the level of pleasure he was experiencing was only achievable because he was getting it from you. Yeosang had to grip your hips to ground him back to reality because he was sure that if he hadn't, he would've definitely thought that he was dreaming. But the feeling of you grounding yourself on top of him was surely something his brain couldn't manipulate no matter how much he tried. And when you changed you changed your position, his brain went haywire. You initially had your knees on either side of his hips and the sight of you rubbing your needy cunt on him was something he could never forget. But then you paused to prop your legs by bending your knees and leaning back with your hands on his muscular thighs. The feeling of Yeosang's flexing muscles beneath your fingers honestly made your cunt clench and weep slightly and Yeosang couldn't help but take note of it.

The very moment you got settled in your new position, you immediately started bouncing yourself on top of Yeosang, impaling yourself multiple times on his cock. If your rhythm was vigorous before, this was... Maniacal. You were jackhammering yourself like a crazed person trying to seek relief. As sick as it was, for some reason, Yeosang loved the way you were basically using his cock for your own release as if he was a toy that you oh so graciously choose to relieve the building ache and need from being denied by your own boyfriend. Your stamina was proof of your desperate need to get sexual release and the way you showcased it could only be described by him as an art performance. "Shit, you're so hot," Yeosang hissed on a particular snap of your hips, squeezing the soft flesh of your ass before his right hand travelled up to your (Jongho's) shirt and grabbing the bottom as he pulled them up to reveal your torso, "Bite this for me please, baby, I wanna see your body, I NEED to see your body," he whimpered, his finger caressing your chin as he tuck the bottom part of your shirt between your teeth. You bit back a grin when he called you baby, feeling giddy all of a sudden but you tried to play it cool. He let out a shuddered breath when he noticed you weren't wearing any bra and frankly, he couldn't help but think about how lucky Jongho was to be able to feel you pressing up to him every night if he wanted to. You moaned and clenched down on him, "Fuck, I didn't peg you for a tits man, Yeosang," you teased but took a moment to tweak your left nipple, "Do you like my tits?" you asked, purposefully moaning and rolling your hips. "No," he huffed as he placed his right hand on your crotch, thumb pressed on your clit which caused you to jolt slightly "I like you," he smirked cheekily.

The confession was rather surprising but you noticed it made your stomach to flutter. Egged by his profession, you started fucking yourself on Yeosang's cock again, this time, the stimulation from his thumb on your clit made your movements harsher but messier. Neither of you could speak clearly, not that you wanted to, you were enjoying the sounds Yeosang was making and he was in a trance as he stared at the way your pussy was swallowing his cock whole. "Greedy baby," he hissed, finally finding the ability to snap his hips back to meet yours, "Taking my cock so good, making sure I'd remember your pussy always." The impact from his hips successfully made your footing falter as you found your right leg slipping and your body tumbling forward, your bare chest met Yeosang's clothed one.

"Fuck me, you got some talented hips there," you giggled, immediately adjusting your thrusts to the new position and enjoying the friction of his shirt on your tits. Moaning, Yeosang held you tight with one arm as the one that was on your clit moved to his face, "Nothing you couldn't escape from your beefcake raccoon, right?" he smirked while licking your arousal clean from his fingers.

With a sharp exhale from you, you planted your lips back onto him, tasting yourself on his tongue before moving your hips even faster. You were thankful that your boyfriend had forced you to ride his thighs so much that you had somehow gained the core strength to ride Yeosang like a champion. "Y-Yeosang, fuck- I'm close!" you whimpered against his mouth, your movements getting sloppy as the tension in your cunt increased, now trying its best to reach climax. Yeosang nodded at your admission, hands moving to hold you by your thighs so that you would still be wide open for him. "I'll make you cum, (y/n), don't worry," he pecked your lips before dropping his forehead on your shoulder, "I'll make sure you're satisfied."

Your hands found purchase on the armrest behind Yeosang and on his shoulder, trying to hold onto your sanity that was being torn apart by each thrust Yeosang delivered. Your head fell slack and your eyebrows furrowed as you felt your climax at the tip of your tongue. Yeosang was trying his best to get you to cum and with the way your walls were hugging him in a vice, he knew it wouldn't take long to push you over the edge. "Y-yeosang!" you whined, your hips now stilling as you reached your climax with a shake of your body from how intense it felt. Yeosang held your legs open for him and his hips never stopped, allowing you to ride out your high while also trying to reach his own.

Though you were induced into a pleasure state, you were still thinking about Yeosang and fuck if there was not one thing in your mind.

"In me, Yeosang, finish in me! I need to be filled!" You managed out, practically begging to be stuffed as how your boyfriend usually would. Though it was Yeosang fucking you, you couldn't help but let the thought of both he and Jongho filling you up with their cum flash through. The mere thought sent shivers down your spine and your hips to suddenly roll.

Yeosang was trying his best to not lose control because Jongho hadn't said anything about allowing him to cum inside you. "A-are you su-re, (y/n)? I can just- fuck, I can just jerk myself off," he assured you. But you whined and started peppering kisses along his jawline, "Please fill me up, Yeosang, you said you- ah! You had to please me, right?" you pouted.

A grunt rumbled through Yeosang's chest and without much complaint, he began thrusting into you in shorter but more precise movements. The overstimulation was trying to get you but you tried your best to hold on by distracting yourself. Your left hand found purchase on Yeosang's right peck and your fingers automatically squeeze the soft flesh and your fingers toy the stiff peaks with each movement.

As it turns out, that seemed to set off Yeosang because suddenly he held your body flush against him and you felt his cum filling you up in spurts as his cock twitched inside you. The sensation made you let out a low hum and your head rolled to nest on the crook of Yeosang's neck.

For a moment, you both could only lay there, resting on each other as you tried to catch your breath. Your haze was dwindling down into a daydream and your body was adjusting so you could rest after the session you just had. Though you had Yeosang under you, you couldn't help but think of your boyfriend and how after this, you're going to need to thank him. But when Yeosang readjusted his position so that his head was resting against the armrest and your head was on his pecks, your thoughts shifted. You propped your arms on Yeosang's chest and your chin on them, smiling up at him, "What got you grinning?" Yeosang asked but he was returning your smile with his. You shrugged, "Not sure, maybe it was post-orgasm bliss," and you wanted to add that it could also be the fact that he had just confessed that he liked you in the middle of sex but you didn't want to make things awkward so you kept that little jewel to yourself.

"So," Yeosang cleared his throat, "Are you feeling happy and satisfied now?" he asked, suddenly remembering the task his friend had given him. You pursed your lips, momentarily thinking of an answer before a mischievous glint past your eyes. "I think... Not quite," you replied, your legs suddenly caging Yeosang's hips which effectively rubbed his softened cock the right way as seen from the way it was starting to twitch back to life. Taking the hint, Yeosang's tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip in hunger.

"Well, I did promise your boyfriend that I would do anything to make you happy, didn't I? We'll just have to keep doing it until you're completely... Satisfied."

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[teetle-time]

Time Is All We Have

A Doctor Who x Rise of the TMNT Xover interest check/story prologue because i'm losing all control of my life lmao

Quick mini-primer for where in both timelines we are:

Non-teetle fixaters, you can just watch the first few minutes of the Rise movie. Bad future timeline shenanigans wahoo! You should probably also get a feel for the regular present timeline from the show if you can, though we won't be directly interacting with it for a quite a bit. Because Reasons. :)

Non-Who fixaters, we're rolling with David Tennant Doctor The First and the companion named Martha Jones. The name similarity to the Casey Joneses makes me giggle, especially now that I've watched through the (REDACTED) episodes where she ends up with some more Caseys parallels. Those haven't happened yet for her though lmao. Frankly, she's only had a few episodes'-worth of adventures with the Doctor by this point. :)

anyway. shoutout to my brother purpletango for having this idea. i believe what i hurriedly jotted down in my notepad app went like this:

the rise movie begins, mikey gets ready to send junior back in time- -and something goes wrong. welp, the gateway's there now. may as well use it. junior gets yeeted through (and my brain is now adding the idea of leo realizing something's up and going with him) and junior (and maybe leo) land…in the TARDIS. now they gotta get back to earth (hoping they're at least in the right dimension) to find the key and stop the krang. NO PRESSURE LMFAO

with a lil tweaking to the premise that just sorta happened as i was writing, i'm now at 26k words of combined fic and notes. it has been 2.5 weeks. i am nowhere near done. help lmao

gonna be doing something a bit funky with the tardis here just to get the ball rolling. idk if it's a canon thing that can happen but if it's not then shshshshshshsh just pretend with me. take my hand

〜

Almost exactly twelve hours prior to the moment he died, when the rest of what remained of the Resistance had been asleep and it had only been the turtles awake to keep watch, Michelangelo had looked to his big brother and said, "We can't beat them, can we?"

Last night, Leonardo had swallowed and given a slight shake of his head. "We can't."

"They've even stolen the night sky from us somehow," Michelangelo had said, lifting his gaze to the cloudless, crimson sky. "Look, there's no stars anymore."

"When did that happen?" Leonardo had asked under his breath. "We still had at least a handful last I checked…"

"Sometime since the last time we had enough peace and quiet at night to actually look up. I'd say…in the past few weeks?" Michelangelo had suggested.

There had been silence for a long moment after that, broken only by the quiet, deep breathing of the few who were left, as well as the shifting of Michelangelo's cloak as he scooted a bit closer to his brother.

Between the two of them, Leonardo and Michelangelo had enough organic fingers and toes to count everyone else who'd survived the past twenty-odd years. Then again, with only two toes on each foot, three fingers on each hand, and three organic hands left to use…well. Less than twenty wasn't exactly an army.

Casey had shifted in his sleep, eventually, mumbling something incoherent the way his mother always had.

Leonardo had swallowed.

Michelangelo had pulled his gaze back down to Earth and looked at him.

"The Krang won't give us the mercy of dying," Leonardo had said grimly. "Not if they can help it."

"They won't," Michelangelo had agreed.

"The others chose to fight with us. Humans, yokai, and mutants. Even Todd. Never would've expected him of all yokai to be so kickass, back in the day. But…this is all Casey's ever known," Leonardo had continued.

"It is."

There had been a shifting in the shadows off in the distance, then, and while it had turned out to be easily taken care of, it had still put a pause on the brothers' conversation for a bit.

When they'd gotten back, but before they'd woken the others and gotten moving again, Leonardo had nailed Michelangelo with a solemn look. "We can't avoid this forever, but Casey…"

"I know you're not talking about that thing we talked about never talking about," Michelangelo had said, raising the ridges of his brows for a deadpan look and a wry smile.

Leonardo had jabbed an elbow into his plastron with a thick snicker…but he hadn't denied it.

Michelangelo had sobered up, then. "Oh."

"Do you think you can do it?" Leonardo had asked as he'd knelt to shake April awake, pausing before he did to meet Michelangelo's eyes.

"I know I can," Michelangelo had said, remaining quiet about how 'it' would very likely be the end of him.

They'd both already known as much.

"When?"

"I-I don't know. When things look bleakest," Leonardo had tried. "If it comes down to us. If it's just you and somebody else. If…if it's just you."

Michelangelo had nodded, then put a hand on his brother's carapace. "The Krang'll get front-row seats to Earth's very own home-grown sun. And that's a Doctor Delicate Touch guarantee."

"Wouldn't expect anything less, little man," Leonardo had chuckled. "Give 'em a light show that'll have 'em running scared."

"I can fly, Leo. And 'little man' was always Raph's thing," Michelangelo had snickered, reaching down to wake Casey. "Hey, Casey, we gotta get moving. Mind waking up and reminding your sensei that I win all height contests forever, no take-backs?"

The noise had begun rousing the others, and Leonardo had scoffed. "Turning my own student against me, Mikey? Low blow."

"Nah," April had said from where she lay. "This is a low blow."

She had snapped an arm out to smack Leonardo's shin, and the rest of the survivors had woken to quiet laughter.

It had been nice.

The last moment of calm within the storm.

In the present, Michelangelo winced as the mystic energies swirling through him reached a crescendo, but still pushed further, digging his fingers into the fabric of reality and wrenching it apart.

With Leonardo wounded, everyone else outnumbered, and Krang closing in on all sides, it was definitely pretty bleak.

There was no better time to make a time gateway than when there was no time left, after all.

His heart pounded in his tympana, loudly enough he almost could have sworn it echoed, a thud-thud-thud-thud that wanted to shake him to the core.

For a moment, with the Krang bearing down on him, his brother, and his nephew, it felt like he was losing his grip.

Casey's voice managed to overpower the thud-thud-thud-thud: "Master Michelangelo, no! You're gonna-!"

He knew.

How could he not, with light cracking his skin and his scales into little flakes of dust on the wind?

But Casey…he was the future.

The best of all of them.

As long as Casey would be okay, Michelangelo could do anything. Would do anything.

He turned his head back over his shoulder for one last look.

Casey looked horrified.

Leonardo looked resigned.

There was no one else left.

(He didn't want to go.)

Michelangelo smiled and gave his family a cheeky little wink, then turned his attention to the time gateway in front of him, threw his arms out to his sides with one last heave-!

-and like Earth's very own home-grown supernova, like the very last star in the universe, he imploded into golden light.

〜

Leonardo felt himself shatter inside as Mikey disintegrated and the time gate stabilized, but the Krang were still closing in.

"Casey, when you're done saving the world, do me a favor," he said, putting a hand on the kid's shoulder.

Casey looked up at him with wide eyes. "Sensei, don't-!"

Leonardo just smiled sadly and shifted his grip from comforting to more of a ready to throw.

He ignored the fire in his side and the trickle of blood down his plastron as he hurled Casey into the gateway. "Grab a slice-!"

"NO!"

Casey's scream was the only warning Leonardo had before the wrist-strapped grapple (standard issue, at least before Donnie had gone out with a bang) streaked back out of the portal, latched onto Leonardo's good shoulder, and yanked him off his feet.

"Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa-!"

The deafening thrum of a Krang laser and a flash of heat at his back told Leonardo exactly how he should have died, but the sensations vanished just as quickly as they'd appeared, leaving only the golden light of Michelangelo's ninpo and the silhouette a few yards away that told Leonardo where Casey was.

Leo almost let himself go limp in the rushing mass of energy as it faded from golden-orange to something more bluish-gray.

Almost.

Instead, however, he grit his teeth against the way his wound flared up and started swimming for Casey.

The light around them grew brighter with no signs of stopping.

By the time Leo reached the kid, he had to screw his eyes shut to avoid going blind.

He managed to grab Casey's hand, then wrap himself protectively around him-

-and then some kind of metal grating slammed against his carapace, his head snapped back, and he knew only darkness.

〜

The Doctor blinked at the sudden sound of beeping. "Oh? That doesn't sound right."

"Doctor? What is it?" asked Martha.

"I'm getting an alert," said he, darting over to one of the TARDIS' monitors for a look. "An alert that there's a lifeform catapulting through the timestream almost completely unprotected- two! Two lifeforms!"

Martha blinked. "What? How did that happen?"

"I don't know, but if we want to find out, we'd best get them onboard before whatever shielding they do have is eroded away." The Doctor studied the monitor for a moment more, then slid around the console and started throwing the appropriate levers and flicking the appropriate switches. "I need to focus on getting close- would you mind peeking out the doors to make sure my aim isn't off?"

"On it!"

The Doctor grinned, then turned his focus back to steering. "Aaalright then! They ought to be coming up just ahead, maybe a smidge to our left-!"

"I see them!" Martha called. "One of them- one looks human!"

The Doctor blinked, then looked up. "Only the one?"

Martha nodded, not tearing her eyes from the window. "The other looks almost like a turtle! Except, well, it's person-sized!"

"Curiouser and curiouser," the Doctor mused. Then, looking back down at the console, "Well, I think the simplest course of action would be to just…scoop them up!"

Martha glanced his way in confusion. "What, just open the door and grab 'em?"

"Exactly. You'll want to be quick and precise," the Doctor recommended. "Good to know we're on the same page."

After a moment to process what he'd said, Martha nodded slowly. "…right."

The Doctor carefully piloted the TARDIS close, and as he watched the energy readings of the two lifeforms get close enough, he heard Martha open the door, then yelp in surprise as something hard hit the metal flooring with a clang.

"Sensei?!" squawked the thick and emotional voice of a pubescent human boy.

"Oh, my," said the Doctor, skirting the edge of the console as he jogged over for a look.

Immediately, he could tell that whatever the circumstances were that had led to the two strangers being catapulted into the timestream, they had not been pretty. Between the apocalyptic fashion and weaponry, the fact that the turtle had seemingly been curled around the boy until losing consciousness, and the sight of tear tracks on the boy's face…well, a billboard would have been less obvious.

The boy glanced between the Doctor and Martha, wide eyes quickly shifting into suspicion as he slid off "Sensei's" plastron and placed himself between the turtle and the Doctor. "Who are you? What do you want with us? Are you with the Krang?"

Huh. He sounded American.

"Krang?" asked Martha, turning to him. "Doctor, what's a Krang?"

The Doctor frowned, mulling the word over. "Krang? Krang, Krang, KrangKrangKrang… Can't say I recognize the name. Bit of a shocker, really, and somewhat worrisome."

The boy's face spasmed, confusion clearly welling up, but the door chose to remind them all that it was still open by letting a tannish cloak drift through and land next to the two newcomers.

The sight of the cloak made the boy's eyes moisten further.

Oh, dear.

"Martha, could you get the door?" asked the Doctor, shifting his voice into something a little softer as he knelt next to the two strangers.

"Oh, uh- you got it."

As Martha did exactly that, the Doctor met the boy's eyes. "I'm the Doctor. Behind you is Martha, and this is the TARDIS. I don't know what it is you're running from, whatever this 'Krang' business is, but I promise you, you're safe here."

The boy's suspicion slowly lessened, the tension in his shoulders loosening some- though, notably, nowhere near completely. "And…what's a tardis?"

"My spaceship," said the Doctor modestly. "'S how I get around. What I want to know is, how did a humanoid teenager and a turtleman with a robotic arm end up hurtling through the timestream all on their lonesome?"

At that, the boy's gaze flickered to the cloak on the ground, and his jaw hardened in that way jaws tended to do when the only other option was to sob.

"…I see," said the Doctor quietly. "While I'd like to know the specifics, pushing this sort of thing never really seems to work out well. So I won't."

"You-" The boy's voice cracked, and he tried again. "You said you were a doctor?"

"The Doctor," corrected he.

"Though I've been training as one for quite some time, myself!" Martha reminded.

The boy visibly warred with himself for a moment, then grit his teeth and pulled slightly away from the turtle's side, revealing a nasty gash that had gone clean through his shell. "Help him. Please."

Martha gasped. "Oh, God-!"

The Doctor's eyes flew wide, but then he nodded firmly. "We'll do everything we can."

[echoesofadream]

books I've read in 2023 so far, as of July

Den lodande människan - Patrik Svensson: loved it, could not have started my year with a better book. 5/5

Sveket - Birgitta Trotzig: became severely depressed during the three days I read this in (had to read fast for school), seriously affected my wellbeing and mental health and the way I viewed the world. when it ended it felt like waking up from a nightmare, the relief of realizing there is beauty in the world because there was none in this book. ???/5

Watership Down - Richard Adams: read swedish translation. love, just love. I found the Efrafa arc weird and misplaced in this book about rabbits though, very strange. 4/5

Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad: read this after I watched Apocalypse Now because I loved the film, and I think the film made me like the book more. also the first classic I read in a while and I think thats part of why I liked the writing so much. extremely racist even though its supposed to be like, anti colonial commentary? but I suppose it was in its time. 4/5

Annihilation - Jeff Vandermeer: swedish translation. I watched the movie a few years ago and ive been wanting to read this since. and im glad I did because I did like it but idk im sensing a theme here like maybe I shouldn't have read swedish translation instead of original language in some cases. cause I liked this but maybe I wouldve liked it more in english? idk.. like 3.5-4/5 though

Circe - Madeline Miller: I really liked this one. reading this in front of the fireplace, immersing myself in another world. I loved living in the Ancient Greece and greek myths for some time, I really felt I was there. I don’t know how Miller did it but she really conveyed the feeling of immortality, I really felt I was living through centuries alongside Circe and the feelings that come with that. thats why the ending was so perfect. Odysseus was the best part tho. 4.5/5

The River Between - Ngũgĩ wa Thiong'o: read up on the topic of FGM in Africa on the side as I was reading this. a very interesting and also gruesome, eye opening experience. what stays with me is the total darkness of the nights, really pierced through my soul. 4/5

Dear Edward - Ann Napolitano: swedish translation. my grandma gave this to me and told me to read it because she read it and wanted to hear what I thought, I never would have read it otherwise. it wasnt really my thing but I do like airplanes and airplane crashes as a plot, so that was the stuff I took away from the story, the rest kind of just went through me. but im kind of happy I read this book just for that reason because that part really affected me. also the conclusion was more touching than the rest of the book, which felt kinda detached. 2.5/5 for the book, 4.5/5 for airplane stuff (my post i make the rules)

1Q84 - Haruki Murakami: swedish translation (ive read all my Murakami books in swedish, since the original language isnt english and also because i like it). some parts I really really loved and were some of my fav elements of any murakami book. but this was not my favorite. overall I liked it, though. actually loved the experience of reading this because i always love reading murakami due to the meditative descriptions of daily chores combined with surrealism, and this one was extra long and repetitive so i loved that. also was interesting cause I looked up the cult events its inspired by so that was interesting too. this one had a bit more surreal/fantasy elements than his other stuff ive read I think? which was nice also. 4/5

If I had your face - Frances Cha: im glad I read it. a good insight into the reality of women in South Korea. not perfect but i feel this book succeeded in what it aimed to be. 3/5

Eileen - Ottessa Moshfegh: swedish translation. i dont really know how to feel about it, really. honestly, I dont even know what to say. this left my head kind of empty, which... may not be a good thing.. could be a poor translation, if i read another of her books ill read in english. 2.5/5

The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller: read this hoping to get more Odysseus but there wasnt a lot. Honestly not a huge fan of this book, Circe was so much better. what rlly irked me was Miller sugarcoating some aspects of these war criminals, more specifically the rapes/sex slaves — yet keeps some things in as if they were essential. More specifically, Patroclus sleeping with that girl i cant remember the name of, for god knows what reason, it was such an unpleasant read and she had to write this so much more explicitly and drawn out than any sex scene between Patroclus and Achilles? That pissed me off and genuinely I felt it was so ugly of Patroclus because that was cheating. If it was meant to be read as asssault thats worse because that woman is literally a rape victim (of Achilles) in the canon. Very distasteful to turn a rape victim into a rapist for fanfiction fantasy. Circe was Miller’s apology to women for writing this book. 3/5

Klara and the Sun - Kazuo Ishiguro: swedish translation. My first Ishiguro. I found the conversations between characters unnatural and unempathetic, the latter especially when aimed at Klara. It is established that Klara has feelings to some degrees and yet is treated as someone who does not, and yet they characters are not supposed to be viewed as unlikeable? This threw me off and also put me off the whole book. But I really liked the character and perspective of Klara, she was my favorite part of this book. I thought it was kind of brilliant to be in Klara’s brain, but felt sorry for her due to her treatment. It frustrated me how much love and care she had for Josie and the others for almost no reason since they were never very kind or caring in turn to her or likable on their own. Her loyalty was almost pitiful, like that of an abused pet or child. The whole replacing Josie thing is so un-human I can’t even fathom these characters aren’t supposed to be viewed as something else than dystopically post-human! (Are they meant to be viewed as that? Unclear) Who could ever replace their child with a robot, an inherently selfish act, they can not possibly believe they would somehow be reviving Josie for anyone else’s sake than their own? Josie would not live on, she would still be dead. So it would be for themselves to play pretend, and it’s completely bizarre. I can’t believe this wasn’t even the moral dilemma. The whole ”something essential that can’t be replaced” is one discussion and it was handled quite weakly, but obviously even if Klara learns all there is about Josie, and is able to ”become” her, the same Josie will not have been born again to experience it. She would be a clone who ACTS like Josie, at most. She would have ”learnt all the rooms of her heart” but she wouldn’t be her, she would only copy. But no one cares about that, only whether Klara can become her clone or not. Including the father who is more critical about it seems to think it would be fine to clone his daughter and act like she is the same one, if it ever would work. could be the translator who sucks? Debating if i should read any more Ishiguro. 2/5

Lucy - Jamaica Kincaid: this is my second Kincaid, I love her writing. love it, gorgeous. she is straight forward, conveys so strongly, vividly. 4.5/5

The colorless Tsukuru Tazaki - Haruki Murakami: swedish translation. you know what, I think anyone complaining about this book should take an extra look at the cover. you’re reading murakami, this is what you get. that said, I do think this is one of his weaker attempts of his tried standard formula, ive seen him do better. I do feel like the prose was a little new, experimental maybe? Which was interesting. also not enough homoerotica. 3/5

[noro-noro-noro]

really long and detailed dream but I did like 5 things before remembering I wanted to write it down, so it will now be like this

- first something about a game ? it seemed kind of splatoon like at least in the environment, a big open area with lots of like metal grates and the ocean was there & at night time peolle slept in cut off tube segmentsp but your character was trying to escape through the sewers. I was watching my friend stream it for a bit, I think it was like a roguelike where you unlocked more mechanics & biomes for the sewers, andit was also smth like you only have 1 health. there was a section where lava was rising and he fel in & died.

there were also item sets you could complrte by using a 3d printer to make letters or decorations for your sliced off room. anyway then during the day the boss (?) of the indergroind area, who called himself like chocotrain and looked like a flying rainbow patterned train with Googly eyes, showed up to holler at me. there was a scripted unwinnable fight where he catches you and shreds you into tiny pieces with a wood chipper, but your coworkers stop him from getting the very last piece of your foot, which then turned into a small brown mouse. your coworkers all watched this in horror- not everyone supported your escape plan bht nobody wanted you to get shredded to death in a wood chipper. your supervisor saw the mouse and threw a dried plum at you.

this was also one of yhose environments where the sentient machines were clearly in charge and there were human bosses that were mostly for show..the human boss here was an older chinese guy who really believed in wearing long flowing traditional clothing. he built a contraption with a pig head thst looked like a human and that was my house & he danced around with me.

- second, I think it was kinda like harry potter? idk we were in the big dining area & everyone there were in their little robes and that was about it. some transfer student girl was there & her powers were really strong? she could find things & have them sparkle in your mind. and she could open things by splitting them in half. I had an ooc moment & was like oh right main character needs to be friends with her so we can find the 700 keys suspended in the pipes beneath the ground. anyway girls family doubtednher and also sucked, so we went outside to this section where it was a bunch of bridges directly on top of a lake & they were like ok girl. count every grain of sand. and move them. and she was like well I don't want to do that. & after they were nasty for a little while longer she split the entirety of the lake in half so they were away from her and went storming kff into the castlr & accidentally started opening the divine seven fold door or something. idk it was like the first doors looked normal but they got smaller & more ornate as you went through the 4th one was made of bones & scaramouche genshin impact was there. i called out to him “ 散兵” & he heard me and made her turn back bc opening the 7th door would have the god they trapped come out or something. and then he was mean to her tol bc you know how he is.

- I had a dream here, let's call it dream 2.5 bc I can't remember shit about it

- third dream something like a grocery store. there was some kind of group rvent at the grocery store. idk what the rewards were. teams of 4. the cashier lady would try to give my team hints bc we sucked but we just kept failing every question. I only remember some snowboarding guy on my team, he was taller than me with really light blue eyes & kind of messy light brown hair & he was wearing like a whole snowsuit. I think he fit the description of himbo pretty well, & he was always excited & would like clap his hands on my shoulders and bend down to look me in the eye if I ever suggested anything, which was nice but also got kind of overwhelming bc his eye contact was sooo intense. this guy become important for the sevond hslf of the dream. a

anyway this guy also assumed the centers of the aisles had some kind of gravitational pull so he'd just throw stuff on the ground like it'll all work out! & it did not. I remember one of our last questions was like "grab a muffin off the shelf that weighs exactly 6g" & I got one that was 5.9 & he got one that was 7.4. after that I was like well we did our best! & left the grocery store.

I was in an area like my college campus x 100,000 cherry blossoms. everything was vaguely pink purple tinted. I found a nice spot to sit and have lunch next to the HAUNTED BUILDING FULL OF PURPLE DEMONS. I was chilling and enjoying the nice weather - warm but not too warm, & lots of floating petals and no pollen. anyway the ghosts and demons came out of the building and were causing problems. I kept eating my sandwich.

some stuff happened in this area & there was a flash back to like dream 2.5 which I remember Nothing Of, but it was then something like I worked in a team to ????? with. the snoeboarder guy, or to save him. I do not remember. anyway snap back to reality I'm lying on my back &.?6 old team approached me - this person named James I knew in highschool,.my roommate from when I went to Prague, this girl tiffany from studio that was nice to me but owes my friend like $2000. they were like you need to eat these fruits and held a bunch of purple shit in my face. one was a bell pepper. one was like had the texture of bread crust loaf.of bread. the 3rd one kight have been a lavender melon of genshin impact? very juicy.

anyway now i'm fighting the demons with my genshin impact hyperbloom team except Raiden got replaced with diona somehow so I had no energy recharge and no dps. and the snowboatder guy is there getting possessed - he's standing all hunched over and his eyes and mouth are gloeing white, etc etc.

we save him, somehow. he comes back to us & I can't say I'm not extra relieved bc he was nice to me. then there's like an ad break for an animated version of our show where the 4 of us have like magical girl transformations into cool goth girls wearing dark purple outfits & then the snowboarding guy has his own transform & looks like Elsa frozen instead lol

[mondo-kazuichi]

my ship key in no particular order

this will definitely grow every 2 days

ishimondo - comfort ship. don’t boil the two of them down to just this ship tho. i watched the anime for the first time and the day after the sauna they were all friendly and i said, out loud, “they fucked, huh”

bubblegum rock - bisexuals in love. canon in the cbpr au (see this post) and honestly just so amazing like !!! they’d get along so well and they’d dye each other’s hair while listening to music. leon would grab the dye bottle and start singing and kaz would instantly join him

kuzusouda - bisexuals in love pt2. yes another souda ship but just hold on, there’s more. honestly? idk why, but they are literally dating. i think it’s the dynamic of curses out of anger x curses out of joy? idk but i’d die for them. not to mention dominant and infertile x submissive and breedable.. also kaz makes one eye jokes constantly but fuyu is used to it now and he laughs

soul friends (or my preferred name for it: orange souda) - bisexuals in love pt3.. i really need to stop shipping kaz with people but i wont. like kaz literally has a crush on hajime and you cannot prove otherwise. honestly there’s more proof in favor than not. they’re both idiots, but in love

soutaka - for those of u unaware, souda x taka. it’s not because of the talent development plan.. it absolutely is. this is ishimondo but taka hated the lover even more before (IM JOKING IT IS ITS OWN SHIP) uhhh idk it’s cute tho and i love their one (1) interaction

soubuki - definitely not as much as the others (tho more than soutaka), but very cute and chaotic. kaz canonically hates ibuki’s singing but i feel like he absolutely loves watching her play the guitar and her singing starts to grow on him. he’ll be fixing a car or some shit and she will walk in, pause his bg music, and start jamming out and he’s fine with it. they dye each other’s hair too

sayabuki - we’ve made it out of the kaz ships.. for now.. sayaka and ibuki would hate each other’s music at first. (sayaka bc ibuki’s is crazy and ibuki bc sayaka’s is mainstream pop) but after a while, since they are the musical ultimates, they would bond over writing and singing music. also ibuki would start making sayaka’s stage outfits for her. also canon in cbpr au, ibuki and leon would dye sayaka’s hair bright blue one night and, though she wouldn’t like it as much, sayaka would leave it in for a while

naehiro (or my preferred name for it: lucky programing) - ok it’s basically canon that naegi fell for chihiro and i believe that when he found out abt chihiro being a boy, i don’t think his emotions would have been fazed (yknow, besides why they found out) and i feel like chihiro would love makoto. this is like,, knows what sex is, doesnt fuck x doesn’t know what sex is, doesn’t fuck (chihiro knows what sex is.) also naegi would remind chihiro to sleep after he’s been programming all day

celesgiri - again, in the anime, celeste handed the key to kyoko and looked her in the eyes and i thought they were abt to kiss. also the liar x the detective.. um YES

mahiyoko - dont get mad, im fine if you think they’re more like siblings, bc honestly that’d make sense too but personally i think they would have been a power couple post-despair

pekobuki - ibuki literally has a crush on peko like,, i can give you more evidence that she does than you can that she doesn’t. plus peko x fuyuhiko is wrong imo bc they grew up together so they’re like siblings- but i digress. also peko would protect ibuki with her whole heart and support ibuki’s music and ibuki would exercise with peko!!

kuzusoumaeda - i know, i know, i said i was done with kazuichi ships.. but i had also forgotten about dr 2.5 so.. GO BACK AND WATCH IT AND TELL ME THEY WERENT ALL DATING- i already ship kuzusouda so that doesn’t need more explanation but i mean?? if that scenario was literally nagito’s deepest wishes, as world destroyer put it, then he wanted to lean on top of fuyuhiko and hold kazuichis hands so.. plus afterward, nagito ran up to the other two and hugged them when he got back into the real world so

hiyobuki - mainly bc of a kg i was in but honestly? hiyoko was the only one who canonically liked ibuki’s music (besides chiaki, possibly) and what ends together stays together if you know what i mean

leomondo - bad boy bisexuals. definitely not an otp bc i love ishimondo and bubblegum rock much more but they are amazing too

shit i need to add kuzusoudahina..

[sir-sunny]

Do u have any friendship headcanons for Nagito (besides with Hajime)? I really like the idea of him and Fuyuhiko (and by extension Kazuichi) becoming pretty close, mostly cause of the 2.5 ova

I also like him and Sonia cause, idek they just give off a vibe that makes me think they'd really get along ! Also I hc them as cousins hehe

I ALSO like the idea of him and Toko becoming. Buddies? Idk what it'd be called but he'd be something of a fan of her writing, and Toko being Toko is hostile as always at first, but she gradually lets her guard down around him and they just. Kind of hang out and chat sometimes. Of course she'd deny it if anyone asked though (he isn't too bothered about it)

And theres him and Mikan too. I like to think their relationship was...REALLY bad during the tragedy so it's really awkward and strained post game, but they slowly get better together :)

nagito deserves manymany friendssss,,,,,,,,,,,,,

fuyuhiko (and kaz)

-fuyuhiko and nagito can make each other laugh like no other. i imagine they both have a REALLY dark sense of humor. sometimes its a,,, little much for everyone else ajsdgdsj

-this conversation just came to mind

fuyuhiko: that togami guy from the future foundation's a real dick

nagito: fuyuhiko, you shouldnt say that about him! him, along with neagi, was one of the survivors of the killing school life!! by association, he's a shining symbol of hope!

...

...

but yeah, he is a dick

-fuyuhiko and nagito are super supportive of kazuichi and his mega crush on sonia, but between the two of them, they know he doesnt stand a chance ://

-speaking of kazuichi, i think these three are a bad influence for each other in the sense that they sometimes encourage each other to do dumb shit askdhaskjd like

kaz: hey, nagito. i bet u cant hold this wasabi in ur mouth for ten seconds

nagito: oh i cant--

fuyuhiko: HAHA HOLY SHIT DO IT

kaz: cmon, just try!!!

nagito, who knows damn well how this will end: ...well ok

they just kinda revert back to teenagers w each other alksdash

more hcs under below cuz im ashamed of making rly long posts

oh him and sonia would be great friends

-these two would FOR SURE watch mystery movies and true crime documentaries together

-they hang out at the library all the time are u kidding

-they'll read a book and discuss it over a cup of tea together

sonia: hear me out...... i think tsukomo-kun had feelings for ishioka

nagito: I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING LIKE--

sonia: RIGHT?? THAT ONE SCENE--

-sonia's like "nagito i love you but i hate ur jacket, let go shopping"

-rich besties

-omg they talk abt their crushes togetherrrrrrrr oooOOOOoooo

interesting!! i've never considered him and toko as friends...

this is the first thing that came to mind

nagito: oh fukawa-san, i just wanted to tell you, im a very big fan of your work!

toko: yeah, yeah, creep...

nagito: i know it wasnt really well received, but i absolutely loved your experimentations with poetry!

toko:.........................you.... read those?

i like to think that on occasion, toko will seek advice or sometimes even inspiration from nagito and she'll share her rough drafts with him. she's taken aback by how fascinating his stream of consciousness is and how poetical he can be. she even offhandedly comments that he should start writing a poetry book (he does but he's too embarrassed to share it with her. something about "oh, my poetry would be an absolute disgrace compared to your masterpieces!")

yes!! i rly like the idea of him and mikan slowly getting along after the simulation!!

-theyre kinda forced to be around each other with nagito having to constantly be in the hospital (recovering from his illness, getting "her" hand removed and receiving the prosthetic, and also his random injuries that are just a result of his luck)

-at first, they talk abt random, insignificant stuff. nagito will ask how this works or what's that for. and mikan will quietly explain things to him

-he finds that he's quite interested in the intricacies of the medical equipment around him and mikan quite enjoys talking about it

-the air slowly becomes less tense over time

-in the future, they might find it in themselves talk about their past together. maybe they can heal together

-but for now, mikan will explain to him in vivid detail how a tongue écraseur was used in the 1800s as nagito listens with morbid interest

[detectivereyes]

if your requests are still open (no worries if not!) could i ask for q?

HEY HOLLY! how are you love? this is only like 2.5 months late but uhh better late than never? surprise? i guess? sorry my motivation to write has been so sporadic and idk this prompt was weird bc it felt like i couldn't come up with anything or i'd come up with stuff but i didn't like the way it worked out with the prompt... so i'm still not 100% satisfied with this but hey, it's out there now and i hope you like it! (and now i can relax bc ficaversary is DONE and i can't do prompts anymore rip) also holly, your bthb is the prompt i'm working on... eventually, it will get done.

Leave a “Quiet Me” in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about one character trying to calm another down [be it from crying, from lashing out, feel free to specify.] 

There’s a beat of silence as Billy stumbles back, caught unaware by Owen’s fist meeting his cheekbone before time seems to pick up again.

Carlos is vaguely aware of the the commotion around him, Judd jumping forward to usher Owen away and Tommy turning to her daughters attached on either side of his hips, telling them that it’s time to go. But he’s not paying attention to any of that, nor what the rest of the 126 family is up to after receiving the news that their firehouse would not be reopening.

No, he can only turn to the right and watch TK right now. The man hasn’t moved, nor said a word since Billy had called them all into the circle. Carlos may have only known TK for about year, but he he’s been with him long enough to read his body language. And if his quiet demeanor, stiff posture, and stoic face are any indication, he’s about to break.

He weaves between the remaining crowd standing between them before he reaches TK, gently cupping his shoulder and leading him into what remains of the stations kitchen.

“He can’t do that, Carlos!” TK exclaims, not even bothering to wait until they are out of earshot of the rest of the crew.

“I know,” Carlos tries to keep his voice calm. He knows TK is experiencing too many emotions to process right now, and as much as the news upsets him too, getting emotional with TK wouldn’t do either of them any good. “But, this isn’t over. You heard your dad, Billy hasn’t been made Deputy Cheif yet. Maybe, there’s still a chance-”

“Yeah, I heard him alright. But you know this is his fault, right? He was offered the promotion first and turned it down. God, he just continues to fuck everything up!”

Carlos spares a glance to the apparatus floor, catching the eyes of several members of the 126 who can clearly hear every word TK is saying. And while he’s not sure where Judd took Owen off to, he’s fairly certain with the quiet and emptiness of the charred firehouse they can probably make out most of TK’s outburst as well.

“Hey, babe,” Carlos tries to catch TK’s eye, gently cupping his cheek. “You have to keep your voice down, okay? This isn’t the place to have this conversation.”

TK nods, taking careful measured breaths to try and stop the tears from welling in his eyes.

“Oh, TK,” Carlos wastes no time enveloping TK in his embrace, holding him close as he lets out muffled sobs into his shoulder.

“It’s not fair,” he mumbles against Carlos’ chest.

“No, it’s not.”

“I was just finally finding my place here,” he says before breaking away from Carlos hold and wiping away a few stray tears. “Why does everything always get screwed up?”

“I don’t know,” he wishes he had a better answer for TK. It’s not much reassurance, and he’s not sure how this will all play out, but he does know the 126 won’t go down without a fight. And he’s ready to stand by his boyfriends side as they navigate this unknown territory.

[actualbird]

gonna go snzzzzz like now despite it being only like 7pm here but godddd i need to catch up on sleep orz

before snoozing tho, i'd like announce (more like ramble, lol) that i finished.....HALF the outline for chapter 4 of "how to care for your dear friend who is currently stuck in his magical serpent form" OKAY WELL NOT HALF, i did put down the entire chapter's skeleton but theres 5(?) scenes and only 2.5(?) of them are detailed outlined. i may just go into writing ch4 raw and see what happens? maybe? idk, let's see how itll go

anyway, this post is bc i wanna share that the process was Wild. without spoilers, heres some things i realized

i had unintentionally set up not one, but TWO perfect chekov's guns. one is more a running gag that ACTUALLY BECOMES PLOT RELEVANT and fixed a huge problem i was struggle with, the other one allowing me to have one helluva poetic setting because it just so happened to be geographically located close to [redacted]. i wish i could say i planned this all along, but i am NOT smart enough for that. these were insane accidents ksjbjd

i made a tiny plot hole in the last chapter (THAT NOBODY BROUGHT UP....DID U GUYS NOT NOTICE? OR R U ALL JUS BEING NICE AND STAYING QUIET HAHA, either way i appreciate it) but after that realizing that i could easily fix it with a joke that turns emo afterwards. plot holes are fine, just patch em up with tender funnies

i realized OH. so i CAN bring up that one card story anecdote that massively fucked me up irt marius feels. IT'S PERFECT FOR THIS ONE SCENE!!!!

me in ch1: i split the pain scene into two narrative happenings, one physical, one spiritual/intangible

me in ch4: u r like little baby, watch this //splits this scene into physical and intangible but also pov takes a little walk around the intangibles of not-that-pov, because by god, i have a vision in my mind and i'll die making it a reality because how the fuck else am i sposed to write the concept soul bonding without emotionally weaving everybody into it and also just HUGELY fucking around with narrative???????

me in ch1: r u ok

me in ch4: no. next question

[synesindri]

For the ask game, either MCU Thor or Loki. Really loving the thought you're putting into the asks by the way!

you know i'm gonna do both 😂 and oh good i'm glad you've been enjoying...it is all stuff i sit around thinking about but don't necessarily bother posting/writing about so it's a nice excuse to put it out somewhere hahahha

mcu thor:

Sexuality Headcanon: this dude is bi. this dude is like...kinsey scale 2.5 i think (why do i sometimes give people kinsey scale ratings lmao whatever)

Gender Headcanon: cis dudebro (also ok not related to his gender but the thought occurred to me while writing this: "he mixes protein powder into his respect women juice every morning" so...there's that i guess)

A ship I have with said character: i don't actually have any thor ships :( i read thorki sometimes but more because i want thor & loki content than because i ship it properly

A BROTP I have with said character: i'm all about the revengers still tbh!! they should go on shitty little adventures and have huge success constantly i think

A NOTP I have with said character: i wouldn't go so far as to call them notps but i don't particularly enjoy thor with almost any of the avengers? doesn't *bother* me, just not my thing

A random headcanon: he is generally quite a sound and peaceful sleeper, but on occasion he does have intense dreams that trouble him and cause him to toss and turn. it is always evident that this has happened because thor's moving around in bed generates a LOT more static than the average person's, so his hair is a puffed-out mess until he gets it under control and touching him will give you an electric shock for a good few hours after he gets up :p

General Opinion over said character: i am currently wearing a shirt with the mcu mjolnir design on it (in pink floral :p) which probably tells you what you need to know about this

mcu loki:

Sexuality Headcanon: beyond pan. almost literally anything goes. however, he does not fuck and is unfuckable, so it's complicated

Gender Headcanon: fluid ~

A ship I have with said character: as with thor i don't particularly participate in shipping mcu loki, but i am fond of valki specifically as a f/f ship. (i ship sylki somewhat but mostly out of spite...i might ship it more earnestly if sylvie also went by loki and had black hair too...if you're gonna do loki/loki go all-in imo 😂)

A BROTP I have with said character: thorthorthor i really am just so enamored of thor and loki's dynamic!! i could watch a whole movie (or multi-episode show) of them just having stupid banter while going about mundane tasks. it's also so profound though, i think — like, so much of loki's self-value comes from having thor's attention, so a lot of his schemes are about getting thor to pay attention to him in whatever way he can come up with. and then he *gets* what he's after, because thor is always gonna come get his stupid shitty cat of a brother out of whatever mess he's caused because that's just something thor does too. but then loki settles down and doesn't need to cause more problems, which means thor can go off and do whatever else he wants to do, which sets loki off again and they do the whole thing over. idk i love the circularity of it, it feels very appropriately god-like that the cycle is self-renewing and potentially eternal

A NOTP I have with said character: i don't see the appeal of loki/tony stark...i might get it (they are both haughty and bitchy and self-important which i guess could be fun?) but unfortunately i really hate tony stark :p very sorry for this

A random headcanon: loki owns multiple garments from killstar

General Opinion over said character: he's a bitch and i like him so much (bit personal here but i have quite an emotional connection to mcu loki due to him (or, moreso, some versions of marvel comics loki) being one of few characters who does genderqueerness in a way i can relate to...back when i was going through some stuff related to my own identity i read agent of asgard and found it marvelously comforting)

send me a character!

[twilightofthe]

so what animes have you seen already?

Oh boy! Not many tbh, I only really started watching it last winter when my roommate asked if I wanted to give it a try! I haven’t watched anything from any studio that did Visions (yet), but I wanna soon!

Animes I HAVE seen, in order:

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood — Aight so when roomie suggested we watch an anime, a friend who had seen a lot of them recommended this one to watch first as it was a good “starter anime”, and y’all idk if it’s just because it’s the first one I watched but I’ve still gotta call it my favorite one because y’all it’s SO FUCKING GOOD. Like that’s understatement of the century but I don’t have time to write an essay on why it’s so good lol just trust me it’s GOOD. 11/10s on EVERYTHING about it. Plot, characters, setting, everything. My one sadness is that I would not be good at writing fic for it lol.

Demon Slayer — YouTube AMVs and seeing it pop up on Netflix had us start this one next and y’all it’s probably the prettiest anime I’ve seen like ever, like the art style is chef’s kiss. Amazing story and AWESOME characters too, very good, 10/10 would recommend. I think I could write a decent fic for it if a plot ever came to me.

The Great Pretender — The only non-action/fight anime on the list, roomie and I tried it out because we figured we should see something different? It was on Netflix so we looked. It was good, clever writing, good characters got a little bit weird in the second season, particularly at the end, but overall it’s a decent watch. I could write fic for the shipping aspect but again, no plot ideas because the plot is fuckin weird.

Akame Ga Kill — Roommate had seen this before, recommended it to me. The characters were decent, setting was interesting! Pretty art style too, but I was like, verrrrry critical of the plot throughout the entire singular season lol, so take that as you will. Actually no yeah plot was kinda wack. My fave character deserved better tho.

Castlevania — Okay okay I know I know not an anime, but it’s a similar artstyle. (Also I think the game it’s based off of is a Japanese game?) Actually watched the first two seasons a while ago, but then watched the third and fourth with roommate. Y’all it’s REALLY good, literally everyone in the damn show is fucking hot and I’m jealous, I ship the throuple HARD hard. I think I could maybe write a decent fic for it if, again, I had any plot motivation lol

Trese — Again, cheating because not anime, but this one is still non-Western (Filipino) media and it’s glorious. I’ve never seen an episode of Supernatural but I feel that this show is like, what Supernatural wishes it could be. Another gorgeous artstyle and I’m so gay for the MC and the first season left me with so many questions so I really hope it gets another one! I gotta get around to reading the webcomic

D.Gray-Man — Okay this one is entirely the fault of @jasontoddiefor who got back into it and promptly dragged everyone he knew down with him, and I am so very glad he did because this is a fantastic— and I’d argue relatively underrated —series. Artstyle is gorgeous (certain characters be very hot), the character arcs are brilliant, I love all the characters, and the worldbuilding is so friggin creative, like I’d put it up there as another one of my faves. I actually did write a fic for this, but publishing a fic in an unfamiliar fandom is terrifying and bad for my anxiety and it’s gonna take me like five more years to work up the courage to do it again lol.

Sword Art Online — Currently watching right now with roommate. I heard some not very good things about it, but my roommate wanted to give it a try so I sat down and watched with them. Sure enough it’s been a case of half the time I’m flailing over the nice animation and how creative the worldbuilding is and the charm and potential all the characters have……………….. and then the other half of the time I’m banging my head against the wall repeatedly because it pulled some seriously stinky bullshit lol. So yeah watch it’s promising but also Suffer in not the good way.

Fire Force — Also currently watching! On my own this time, roommate already watched and recommended. This one is VERY good, like I am super into the plot and the setting and everything to do with the universe. Still getting into the characters and it’s taking a bit more time? So the watch is going slower than usual, but that’s alright! The entire premise makes up for it.

So that’s all the anime I’ve seen! I’ve also seen 2.5 Studio Ghibli movies and they are all JUST as good as people say they are (Kiki’s Delivery Service, Howl’s Moving Castle, and bits and pieces of Princess Mononoke) 1000/10 recommend.

You didn’t ask about the manga I’ve read but I’ll list them anyway! For the record I’m not a huge manga reader because my eyes find it hard to see the illustrations when everything is in different shades of black and white, it makes action scenes in particular really difficult to read, which is a problem when you usually like action plots

Demon Slayer — The anime isn’t complete yet and after the movie I wanted to know MORE so I hunted down the manga and binged it all. Y’ALL GOTTA READ IT IT’S STILL SO FUCKIN GOOD AND I’D DIE FOR SO MANY CHARACTERS I’M IN LOVE WITH SO MANY

D.Gray-Man — Same thing as Demon Slayer, the anime isn’t complete yet and neither is the manga BUT so I read the rest of what’s been written. Hoo hoo HOO I hope they animate more of it because the plots coming up are brilliant and I want it

My Hero Academia — Look, EVERYONE is yelling about this one and it trends like once a week and like five irl friends love it so I figured there was too much anime out but I had to know so I’d just skim the manga just to figure out what the fuck the hype was. It’s good, lol, I totally get the hype now, the strength is in the worldbuilding and a whole handful of extremely interesting yet surprisingly simple character types that work to drive the plot forward. There is so much potential here and I could definitely write fic for this but I am not touching that fandom with a ten foot pole and that’s coming from a Star Wars fan 😂

Yona of the Dawn — Currently reading this!!!! Ok so there’s a season of an anime out for this, I walked in to see my other roommate watching what was probably one of the horniest scenes in it. I was immediately like “👀👀👀👀 shit fuck that’s hot do these heteros have rights????” I was about to plop my ass down and start watching but roommate was like “oh there’s only one season and it’s unfinished and I know you don’t like unfinished stuff” so I promptly got my ass up and googled the manga so I could see more. Y’all it is GOOD, if you love the dramatic romances from Star Wars this is RIGHT up your alley and dare I say better, the plot is lovely, the characters are great, and I am SO MAD there’s only one anime season. I’d absolutely write fic for this if I was more confident, I have so many polyship ideas!!!!!!

[alyss01]

|[Trending]|

[Corpse Husband x GN! reader]

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Genre: fluff (kinda)

Word count: 2.5 K

Requested: no (to request send me a submission, an ask or a message) REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Synopsis: You meet Corpse for the first time after being invited by Sean to a game of Among us. The two of you make quite a good pair in the game and as soon as you close the game and start messaging Corpse privately you check your twitter.

Warnings: violence in among us

A/n: I really didn't know what to write but this seemed like a lot of fun. It was kind of awkward writing it but I hope you don't notice that when reading. I hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

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You were leaning back in your desk chair, you had just finished editing a video to go up on YouTube when you were disturbed by a ping on your phone.

"Are you up for a game of Among us?" Sean was the culprit of your distraction during your well earned break. Not that you minded, the Irish man a great friend of you and a seemingly infinite source of entertainment.

"Idk, are there others I know there as well?" You asked, unsure of wanting to go through the draining process of meeting a bunch of new people and having to worry about first impressions and such.

"A couple. Toast, Sykunno and Felix. Does that sound good?" He responded, you thought for a second, it had been awhile since you streamed and it could definitely be fun.

"I'll be there in 10. Keep the spot open." You messaged back as you closed your phone, and started to set up everything you needed to start the stream.

In the meantime Sean informed the group they could play a quick game with nine people before their fill would arrive.

You kept the intro to your stream quick, posting a quick post on instagram to inform people you were going live.

When you joined the call they seemed to have just finished the game, "Lud, I can't believe you vented in front of me!" You could instantly hear the different voices of your friends fill your ears as they bickered over their last game.

Your little avatar joined the spaceship as the group quieted down. You greeted them cheerfully, "Hi guys!"

Sykunno was the first to greet you as well, he perked up at the sound of your voice, "oh hi Y/n!" You chuckled, "it's been awhile Sykunno."

"Don't steal my simp away like that Y/n." You laughed at Toast's hurtful voice as Sykunno hurried back to denying it. Being more than well aware of the joke it had become it was always fun to tease them about it.

"Sykunno won't know who to simp for now." Felix chuckled as everyone laughed, you were glad to have joined the game, it was already promising to be a fun set of games today.

When you glanced at your chat you could see an arrange of comments flash over the screen, some greeting you, others joking about the comic situation from before yet most kept saying 'wait for it'.

"Hey guys why is my chat being spammed with 'wait for it'? What are you planning behind my back." You were skeptical of the group, knowing full well what they had planned for new comers when they joined in the past. You wanted them to know you wouldn't fall for it but instead of anything you just received laughs in response.

You were confused as ever when Felix spoke up as first, "you don't think they're talking about Corpse, do you?"

This just made you more confused, "Corpse?"

"Wait don't tell me you've never played with Corpse before?" Jack nearly yelled out, and it reminded you why you standardly had him turned down in volume in discord. "Why haven't I forced you to play with him before?!" He continued as the look of confusion only grew on your face. Your chat was going insane as you looked on another screen where discord was displayed, indeed seeing that one of the names in the call was this so called 'Corpse'.

"So uhm, who is Corpse?" You asked somewhat awkwardly, and a deep voice greeted you back.

You were taken by surprise to say the least, Felix comically counting to three before your own voice seemed to return, "assuming that was real, that's one heck of a voice you got there dude." A smile on your face as you continued to look at the screen.

"Yea.. uh thanks?" You could hear the awkwardness in his voice, "I'm sorry, you must get that a lot." You apologized while chuckling as he agreed, "yea, you could say that."

With that settled the game of Among us started. You walked out of cafeteria, followed by Corpse and Sykunno as you did the med scan, Sykunno checking if it was real and doing his own scan after.

Corpse followed the two of you around to cameras where he vented when both you and Sykunno were watching the cameras. His kill in electrical was fast and flawless as he vented back, just in time to see you walk down from the cameras.

You had seen him, he knew that. Yet you didn't run to the button. A devilish smile on your face as you spoke to your chat, "now I'm interested in how his going to play this." Sykunno left cams, and the three of you split from each other to do tasks.

You met up with Corpse once more in admin, as you were scanning your card. The lights went out as you stood at the admin table beside him, who was still faking the task, although it didn't do anything to convince you after what you had seen earlier.

Although you had expected him to kill you right then and there, he didn't. He stayed beside you until the body was reported.

Three people had died so far.

Corpse stayed silent, only speaking when a question was asked. "I was the entire time beside Y/n, they can vouch for me."

You raised your eyebrows as you listened along. He was testing his boundaries. He was testing you.

"He was with me the entire time yes, so that should clear me." You spoke, muting yourself for a second as you talked to your chat, "I'll keep that information for later, he can't kill me now, cause I'm clearing him."

"It doesn't clear you, three people died." Rae spoke up for the first time that meeting, but Corpse was quick to defend you, "If we would've been imposters we would've just double killed twice."

You mouth opened although no words came out. Sykunno backed you up, saying that he cleared you with the med bay scan so both you and Corpse were safe.

"This is actually hilarious." You said as you laughed loudly when the meeting ended. In the end they had skipped because you were still with seven left.

As you walked around the map Corpse trailed you like a puppy, only disappearing once. When you found a body in comms later while walking by you reported it, "it's in comms."

Five people were left. They were one person away from winning.

It wasn't needed for you to reveal your information quite yet, Toast had big brained and figured out that Rae was one of the imposters. Seeing as his evidence seemed accurate enough you voted, and the game didn't end when she was thrown into the vast emptiness of space.

During the next round Corpse disappeared from your side once more, and you left your position. Instead of waiting for him you stood at the button and waited for a few seconds to be sure Corpse had killed before pressing the emergency button.

"Good button." Corpse started and Sykunno agreed. Three people were left.

You smiled as you shifted position, leaning your head on your hand as you watched the screen. "So this button has a reason. We need to vote."

Again both males agreed. "Sykunno remember how you cleared me at med bay the first round?"

"Yes.."

"So then it's Sykunno." Corpse concluded and your confusion was obvious on your camera as you were trying to understand what Corpse was doing.

"Well you didn't check me, so it can definitely be me." Sykunno agreed thoughtfully, and you shifted in your chair, smacking your hands on your desk "Wait what? Sykunno I know it's not you!"

"You were with Corpse the entire game though, and you never cleared me!" He argued back and you failed to see the logic in his words.

"Sykunno I literally saw Corpse vent!" You yelled out, locking your vote into corpse.

This new information seemed to take Sykunno by surprise as well, "wait what? You actually saw him vent? When?"

"First round at cams. I got off earlier than you and Corpse hopped out of the vent after killing someone in electrical, after all that's where the body was found. So after that he followed me around each round." You explained as Sykunno locked in his vote as well.

Corpse didn't say anything before locking in his own vote.

He got thrown out with three votes that round.

You were practically yelled at by both Felix and Jack after not having avenged them by outing Corpse that first round.

It was the second round when the fun really started to happen. Both you and Corpse managed to land imposter this time. You were glad you were muted when you saw the screen with the red letters painted above it, the loud laughing that escaped your throat would've been a dead give away.

You managed to kill two people during that round, both when lights were off. When you shot Sykunno in his head you whispered a silent apology as you self reported his body.

"Okay so who killed my simp?" You spoke as soon as you unmuted yourself in the meeting. Immediately Corpse and Sean went wild, "who killed my best bud?!" Sean immediately followed.

"I swear whoever killed Sykunno won't get away with this." Corpse followed up. Surprisingly enough this pulled any suspicion off the three of you. No one wanted to believe any of you three would actually murder Sykunno.

They shot out Rae for whatever reason that round, although you barely noticed in your laughing fit. You didn't stop laughing after Toast had quite literally said "Y/n, Sean and Corpse have to be clear, otherwise I would've heard Sykunno cry from his room because of the betrayal."

"I'm gonna stalk Y/n. Ain't no way both my best friends are getting murdered." The words that left Sean's mouth in the last seconds of the meeting made you stop laughing.

You followed Sean around, talking to your chat in the meantime, "okay so I'm switching tactics. I'm gonna marinate Sean now."

When the next body was reported you indeed had not left Sean's side. It made the group believe that one of the killers had indeed been thrown out and it also cleared your name.

Now both you and Corpse were cleared, as he had marinated someone the first round and now you also had someone to vouch for you.

"So we got one out just now, otherwise we there probably would've been more people dead." Toast started the meeting when Felix's body was found.

"Or one of the imposters is sitting it out." Hafu continued and immediately they started to debate. With six people left you were ready for a double kill to win.

"I can only vouch for Corpse for round one." Poki spoke up, immediately drawing sus to corpse. There wasn't anything you could do against it so you let it happen, and in the end he got voted out.

His ghost followed you as you walked around. You decided to speedrun the remaining round. You killed Poki first in med bay and vented into security as you walked towards electrical.

If you played this well enough you could put Sean in a 50/50.

Next on your list was either Toast or Hafu. You sliced Toast's neck in comms and when you went to check admin table you could see both Hafu and Sean together in navigation.

You waited for a bit longer before taking the long way through cafeteria, and when you arrived your kill cool down was ready.

You sliced through Hafu's avatar as the screen faded to black and displayed your victory.

The rounds that followed that one were on your end spent as cremated, although they were still a lot of fun. You stayed with Corpse for a large part of it, vouching for each other when you could. More than once that resulted in the both of you being thrown out.

When Corpse left the group you saw that it had been a couple of hours. It was starting to get late for you as well so you too decided to end there. You closed your stream with some last words and got up from your set up as you stretched.

You grabbed your phone as you opened discord, sending a quick message to Corpse, "it was great meeting you! You're one hell of an imposter by the way." You fell backwards on your bed.

Within a minute you got a reply, "likewise, we made a great team." You chuckled aloud. This wasn't what you had planned for the day but it was a lot of fun. You were glad you had joined the game.

"Will you be joining future games as well?" You messaged back, hoping for a positive answer.

"I hope so, it isn't up to me though." You couldn't see Corpses smile through the screen, neither could he see your broad smile as you typed a reply.

"Got it. Rest assured knowing I'll message you as soon as I get the opportunity for anyone to join! No matter what, I hope to see you more often in the lobby." You clicked send as you dropped your phone on the bed. You laughed as you pressed your face in one of your pillows, you could barely believe you just send that.

"Same." The beep from your phone had you grab it as you read his reply, the smile on your face growing brighter.

When you closed discord you could see the massive amount of notifications on twitter. You opened the app, seeing your account swamped with tweets over your stream and the hashtag '#CorpseandY/n' trending.

The tweets ranged from clips from your stream mashed with clips from Corpses stream, to just messages and drawings of scenes of the stream. You recognized your little avatar turning around when corpse vented right in front of you while Corpses avatar was littered with blood splatters in one of the mini comics.

You returned to your chat with him on discord, "have you checked twitter since the start of among us?"

"No, I've gotten a lot of notifications though."

"I recommend you check it." You laughed as Corpse went offline. A couple of minutes later he returned, "we're trending."

"Yup, we are."

[jade-marie]

What would be your seasons rankings? Thoughts on s3?

Chronological order.

Season 1

By far the superior season. It had the perfect balance of drama and comedy. The dialogue and writing was so much better. The pacing, the music, wardrobe. Can’t rave about it enough.

Season 2

Close second. They still did pretty well, tonally, but the plot holes started to show. Wardrobe massively deteriorated, the dialogue wasn’t as good either. Plus we had that finale.

Season 3

Episodes 1-4 were good. Episode 5 was ok. The rest? Trash. Complete and utter dog shit 🤣

I could rave on all day about why it was terrible but the main bugbears:

They tried to adopt a darker tone but there was no follow-through so nothing landed. Any tension in the hitman plot or Rio on his revenge rampage was just nonexistent because you knew none of the main characters were going anywhere. Lucy’s death fell flat because the audience had no emotional connection to her and all the characters got over her death in 2.5 seconds.

Random side plots like the donor family, Annie in therapy, Dean at work, Stan and his scheme with the strippers, could’ve been interesting but they didn’t tie into the main plot of the show so felt like they wasted screen time and took away, instead of added. Then by s4 most of those plot lines amounted to nothing anyway.

So much of what was set up in the previous couple seasons just goes out of the window. The girls seem to have learnt nothing. It’s like every character on the show regresses in s3 and it was painful to watch (not in a good way). Ruby and Annie’s characters were reduced to little more than Beth’s yes men, they just went along with any dumbfuck plan she came up with. Beth’s character was harder to connect with than ever and I think they did a really bad job of helping the audience get in her head so there are about 10 billion interpretations of what she’s thinking/feeling in any given scene.

If they were going for a plot < characterisation scenario, I can work with that, in fact, I love that but they did it so badly. The dialogue was generally weak. They seemed to keep scenes really shallow, Idk if that’s the right word. But I can think of several situations which could’ve been gritty and intense, where they could’ve made the audience feel something and they just skipped right over it. The immediate aftermath of 2.13, Lucy’s death, digging up Lucy’s body, Rio’s return (I would’ve given anything for Beth to break down in private) and Beth keeping that to herself, Rio’s return and reunion with Rhea/Marcus, Turner’s death, the hitman plot, Rio’s pov after the doctor’s office and/or the bar in 3.04, Beth’s feelings surrounding the pregnancy attempt (she definitely wasn’t thinking about it at first, but once Dean confronted her) – like what would she have done if she actually got pregnant??? Beth and Dean dealing with the aftermath of Rio robbing them, Annie’s therapy storyline if it wasn’t a complete farce. The list goes on but the season just reeks of wasted potential.

I also thought the season was really poorly paced, especially for week-to-week viewing which, along with the above points, made it a really boring watch. I kept sitting there waiting for it to get better and it just didn't.

[legionofpotatoes]

alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned

we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐

but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants

I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses

why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision

the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas

yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move

what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;

but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of

to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted

I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course

[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure

tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”

tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee

why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie

a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever

quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n

the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this

that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone

the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that

also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane

I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out

plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude

total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex

the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks

anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill

[rigelmejo]

Found this tool for “how long to learn a language” and I think its fairly useful? 

https://autolingual.com/study-time-calculator/#hmotivation

Below is just me contemplating how long things took me, will take etc. Feel free to ignore lol.

I just tested it by putting in “absolute beginner” to low intermediate, and how long that would take for mandarin at 2 hours study per day, it gave me 1 year 10 months. That isn’t too far off of how long its taken. I’d say I’m around low intermediate - maybe upper beginner. Certainly what I consider possible at low intermediate for me personally (what I could do in french in reading, when i stopped studying it) is close to where I am now with chinese. So like: convos about basic topics, maybe a little word lookup, reading general gist of everything (and dictionary for specifics if needed), general show watching without subs (miss some details), some audio listening (for me french never got any listening or show stuff so that parts much better in chinese - though my french reading is a bit easier since i can generally get away with no dictionary even if there’s a lot of unknown words just because of word similarity to stuff i can figure out). So anyway the calculator’s estimate of 1 year 10 months is pretty close! It’s been 1 year 8 months since I started studying. It will probably be a few more months when I feel I’m happy with my ‘basic’ reading ability. 

When I put in “very high motivation” it put me at 1 year 7 months to go from absolute beginner to lower intermediate - which is super close to about how fast I progressed. I’d say I’m probably somewhere on this calculator’s estimate between “very high motivation” and “high motivation.” 

For absolute beginner to upper beginner, it put me at 10 months for how long it would take if I had “high motivation.” That also lands pretty close to how long it took me - it took me about 8-12 months to do ‘upper beginner’ stuff as I consider it (texting people in chinese for general convos, browsing weibo, reading stuff i wanted with a dictionary, reading manhua, starting to watch shows without subs and just get the bare minimum gist and look up words for more details). The calculator guessed I would take 9 months from absolute beginner to upper beginner if I had “very high motivation,” which again I suppose is close to where I was at lol. 

This calculator thinks from absolute beginner, to upper intermediate (B2) will take me 2 years 6 months if I have very high motivation, and 3 years if I have high motivation. That makes sense to me. Moderate motivation would be 3 years, 9 months. Low motivation would be 4 years 6 months. This was all at 2 hours a day of study overall. I figured it would take me 4 years roughly to get to where I wanted to be when I started  - although I figured 4 years would be “where I am right now skill wise” so lol. What will upper intermediate even look like? 

5 years, 6 months, if I have very high motivation but only 1 hour study time a day.

I also tried out if I put “have learned a language to fluency” and that lined up better with how long it actually took me to hit each milestone as I felt it? (8 months upper beginner, 1 year 4 months to hit lower intermediate?). And if this is the option I put in, then upper intermediate would be achieved around 2 years 2 months into studying (aka for me that would mean around this coming winter). Also - this would not include listening/speaking skills, for me, because I already know hands down those skills lag for me (they probably would not be whatever level my reading is, instead a bit under it). And writing would depend on how much I worked on it. So I’m mainly aiming for the reading goals timeline. 

What is interesting to me is based on this I probably have been studying roughly 2 hours a day overall? I am fairly sure I study at least 1/2 to 1 hour a day (I read almost every day in chinese if nothing else). Then some days I know I’ll watch some eps of a show (thats 2-4 hours probably), some days I’ll read a lot (2 hours?). So like I figure my days I do a lot add up? And apparently they must, since my progress seems like I’m doing about 2 hours a day according to this caclulator. Or else my study sessions are ‘really’ effective for me and 1 hour i can make as useful as 2, but i doubt it... although it could be likely, its more like ‘since i’m mainly focused on reading THAT is improving at this speed, but if i looked at ‘overall’ then i’d still be an upper beginner who studied maybe 1 hour a day (as in, taking in all skills i’d be upper beginner, but taking in only reading i’m higher). Which could definitely be the case, as i don’t think my listening is past upper beginner, and my writing/speaking is definitely upper beginner At Best (could easily also be worse lol). 

Anyway a point for myself: looks like if i vary study from 1-2 hours a day, its going to take between 9 months to 2 years to hit upper intermediate. Which is the goal - i think after that my reading will be plenty good for what I want to do without a dictionary. So 3-4 years total study time, which is about what i expected... except i expected year 4 was going to feel like what i can do now ToT so anyway. Follow your dreams! Passions! Goals! you know what i mean! ToT I did not think reading with a dictionary could be possible so quickly in chinese! Certainly not within a year, but it did happen by a year! And I’m starting to venture into reading real stuff without a dictionary more, so that’s also doable much earlier than the 4 years I expected!

---

For fun I put the other languages I ‘studied’ a bit of in the calculator. 

The suggested french timeline matched up pretty well to my own progress when I put in: very high motivation (i guess i must have that lol?), some knowledge of different languages, study 1 hour a day. I hit A2 around 6 months in, B1 around 1 year 2 months is what the calculator says (I remember it being around 1 year into studying), B2 around 1 year 10 months the calculator gives.. I think personally around B1 in french I got less motivated, and i know i stopped studying as often... and i think somewhere mid B1-B2 I quit studying and just coasted on what i knew, since it was enough to read what i wanted. So I personally remember, about 2 years into studying french, that’s when I gave up using a dictionary or formally studying at all for the most part (years 1-2 i read a grammar site in french, which helped, and was still occasionally looking up words in french and reading french weekly). So I think at 2 years i didn’t actually hit B2, just a personal point where somewhere mid B1-B2 I felt i no longer had a need of a dictionary, or grammar explanations, for what i wanted to do. I know at some point after year 2 I picked up french again and just worked on listening/pronunciation (to try and drag them up closer to my reading skill) for a couple months. Idk how much it helped, but i know it noticeably improved my accent (which went from Really Bad to Somewhat Bearable, and my listening skills went from ‘can’t understand anything’ to ‘basic words i know i can now recognize fairly easily in listening, and i can now HEAR the real bad spots in my own accent and fix them at least’). So like... I’d personally put my french as somewhere in B1 mostly comfortable, with a lot of room for improvement. With writing at A2 maybe (with grammar mistakes), speaking also around there, listening if I’m lucky also around there. I do like that if i DID want to improve my french skills to all B2, it says 8 months to 1 year (depending on if i’m starting from A2 like my speaking or B1 like my reading), studying 1 hour a day on average. That’s about what I expected - that it would take a while but not too long to push them all up to more useful. 

With japanese, putting it into the calculator? Looks like maybe I only studied 30 minutes a day on average? The calculator estimates upper beginner to take 2 years 3 months, if that’s how much per day I studied. That or 45 minutes a day - 1 year and 10 months. I know in reality, It took me about 2+ years in japanese to get to reading basic manga for main gist, playing games for very basic main gist understanding which I did sometime between 2 years and 2.5 years. I did not get past upper beginner, at BEST, because I know I was still a beginner. So maybe that’s something that held me back? Just how little time I was dedicating to japanese? I know I was splitting time between french, japanese, and sometimes russian. So that could definitely have been it (also abandoning japanese sometimes for weeks at a time - which I did with french too, but french was already like B1 reading which was close to my goals with it so i didn’t need to focus on it as much).  I also wonder how much the last study from year 2-2.5 helped speed things along - its when I noticed the most progress, and I was doing flashcards and immersing a LOT more. So its possible then I was studying closer to 2 hours a day. 

Mmm. From this calculator, I’d guess: my chinese is on track to be able to do what I want by 3-4 years (much better than I expected lol). With a chance of me being able to do it by the end of this year (that would be amazing but lets not get too hopeful). As for speaking/writing, I do expect that to still take 3-4 years (and slower if I stop studying as much). 

my french I can probably drag up the other skills, and maybe even drag reading up to B2, in about a year of work if I wanted. So the other skills I could probably drag up into B1 in several months. Aka around half a year if I wanted to just get them all similar, and probably a year if I wanted french GOOD as good as I’d probably want it for general use without issues (since i still have listening and production issues).

my japanese? i’m going to go ahead and guess 1 year for lower intermediate, 2 years for upper intermediate, IF my chinese gets good at the faster rate. aka if at the end of this year my chinese reading is where i want it, and i can switch from 30-45 minutes a day on japanese to 2 hours because chinese will no longer need to improve as fast. Since currently i’m spending an average of like 2 hours on chinese a day, and i do NOT plan to lower that until my reading and listening are where i’d like them and i can read/listen generally without a dictionary (like french, i’ll probably end up wanting to improve production randomly on an as desired basis so i don’t think that will be as big a priority unless for some reason it becomes one). So japanese will probably at most be getting 1 hour a day while i’m still focused on chinese (and realistically less like 30 minutes on average). But i might be able to give it more after this winter. although also it really depends on wtf i feel like doing? as always. if i do japanese ‘as desired’ who knows how many hours that will end up being. i do think though doing it as i want now will help make that time take less in the long run overall timeline of things. the calculator gives “2 years” to lower intermediate if i only study 45 minutes a day, and 4 years for upper intermediate in japanese if i only study 45 minutes on average a day. Which really isn’t so bad (that’d be like 4-6 years total of time i’ve spent studying it, to get where i’d like in japanese ultimately - 2 more years after the 2 i’ve already done on an optimistic timeline, and 4 more years if i go very slow and keep not being able to prioritize it... and somewhere in between there if i don’t prioritize it but at least find a sweet spot i can do what i want in it like french). 6 years to learn japanese is not surprising... especially considering it took me 2+ years to push into upper beginner “can do a little basic stuff” in the language. So 2 more ish years for each milestone step makes sense unless i get better at studying lol or dedicate more hours into it. 

---

What’s curious to me is how chinese has been taking me about 6 months to hit each milestone (for reading)? 6 to get to beginner, 12ish to get to upper beginner, 18 ish months to lower intermediate (which is april, me rn), so possibly 22 months to upper intermediate - 1 year 10 months maybe? 8 more months of study, potentially. (Again this is for reading skills only). 

I just... when I started I definitely did not thing progress could be made at this speed for chinese? But to be very fair... i spent less time on french, and i think that’s a big reason it took longer to hit milesones than it could have - and why ultimately french and chinese are much closer in terms of ‘how long it took me to make progress’ than japanese to either. Because french simply takes less study time, and chinese i just studied so much MORE per day than i did with japanese. I definitely think if nothing else that ADVICE to immerse often helped me so much. While its not as quality study time as when I go through tone drills, memorized 2000 words, read grammar, listening to my audio ‘flashcard’ files, or practice shadowing - it really MAKES me ‘study’ chinese regularly in a way i did not with french or japanese. Even though there’s less active study being done, i’m engaging with chinese every day because of it. Practicing every day, and practicing often. With french i practiced daily for maybe 1/2 hour to an hour, then for that long per week, and my active study i either did for a month or didn’t do at all - so less study time in general. In japanee i REALLY did less study time per day, since i didn’t even try to read/watch/listen to japanese - it was active study or nothing. Simply the advice to immerse... while yes it helps you with skills, like learning to comprehend what you’ve studied, more than that it simply keeps me ‘trying to learn’ on a more frequent basis.

Part of the reason I think year 2-2.5 of japanese i made the most progress i saw the fastest? I was trying to read manga every week, trying to play a game every couple weeks, listening to audio in the background every few days (audio flashcards), trying to do srs flashcards every few days. The last 2 activities were active study increases (though only 30-45 minutes a day overall so no more than usual). but the manga days - that would be a full extra 1-2 hours a day! The video game days, 2-4 extra hours that day! and those added up i think! and resulted in me seeing much faster progress than in the whole 0-2 first years combined. if only i’d been trying to do those things sooner, it could’ve been adding up sooner.

whenever i look back on my french, the period that helped most was month 3 to the year 1 mark - i was reading every few days. Yes, I also studied common words, took a beginner class and did my homework. But the reading regularly was time spent using french ADDING UP. It added up to a lot of extra time IN french, and i think that’s why about a year in i felt pretty comfy texting on basic topics, reading things i wanted to with a dictionary with ease. Then the year after, i did more intensive study, but with months in between where i did NOTHING in french - so i think i got to B1 with reading, or somewhere a bit past it, because i read french every few months for bursts (whenever i felt like it but not regularly). And instead of progress every few months, it took about another year to go ‘ok no more dictionary needed.’ If i’d still been engaging with french more days a week, i think it would’ve added up faster.

And when i started chinese, the big reason i TRIED ‘do a little something’ weekly in chinese is because i remembered in french i used to try, and that helped me so much at the beginning. and it DID help me so much at the beginning with chinese! it was a solid idea!

and, as much as i have some issues with aspects of massive immersion approach (now Refold), mainly just that i don’t do it all the same lol. i DO think i am SO happy i found it if ONLY for the advice it gave “immerse as much as possible, as little as you comprehend, start NOW.” That was good fucking advice. And it helped me not be such a chicken - i know i was scared, back when learning japanese, TO immerse at all because i thought i needed the basics understood before i even tried. With chinese - although i was trying reading (and it was honestly helping), i only tried once a month. And i was way too scared to try shows without english subs, or AUDIO. 

Reading the mia advice, i went fuck it, and tried. it helped SO much. Literally, watching shows in chinese first to build up the endurance to SIT through a whole episode, then to watch multiple episodes in months 4-8, helped SO much. and i was way too scared to try until i’d read someone else tried and it helped. also people who did mia suggested audiobooks and dramas - again i was way too cowardly, thinking i’d know too little to manage it. And YET, once i started doing it more i noticed a lot of improvement! I know right now, i can watch shows and be comfortable because i made myself try it back then and keep trying. i know i was able to push into reading with a dictionary at month 6-8 because from month 3 i was trying and kept trying. i know i can listen to some audio dramas FOR FUN and even pick up some stuff, because i tried to listen to audiobooks of chapters i’d read in english and practiced parsing sound. (also Listening Reading helped a ton i can’t say that enough - it helps so much with listening skills). Trying to watch shows without ANY subs including chinese, also helped. And it really was the advice “try doing it all, and doing it often, it will help” that helped me improve. I cannot get myself to do formal study every day - and if i can, some days i can only do 15 minutes to 1 hour (and occasionally longer). but i CAN make myself do SOMETHING in chinese every day. And me being so lazy? It is in fact EASY for me to make myself do something in chinese if it doesn’t have to be study - reading a book? I’ll try. If i have it open in pleco, i’ll try and click words i don’t know. If its audio - yeah i’ll try listening while i walk or work. if its a show i wanna watch, yeah i’ll try watching even though there’s no english subs. if i see a manhua i like, yeah i’ll try to read it. if im on weibo, yeah i’ll browse. it is such a compatible way for me to DO more stuff in chinese, which helps me improve even if its not always as effective as study-time sessions. its always better than doing nothing, and wow does it make a difference how often i ‘study chinese’ if these moments of immersion count. 

and i’ve been noticing already, how it helps in japanese too, now that i’m freaking applying the concept of “don’t be a chicken” lol. I’ve watched lets plays the past few months in japanese (yeah only 20 minutes at a time, but it will add up as i’ve learned from french and chinese). I tried playing games for 2 hours (brutal, but manageable, and who knows how much i learned in that time!). I watched a 2 hour play with no subtitles of any kind (again who knows how much i learned trying that!). I even tried reading a bit of japanese - a few 15 minute sessions probably. Again, this is all not a lot, but its like french - its MORE than just my dedicated japanese study time where i do flashcards or read my grammar books. its extra time spent, and i know it adds up. i am Already seeing it add up to making games even bearable to do (which took 2+ years last time!), to making WATCHING something with only japanese audio bearable to do (extremely hard, but bearable if i know the plot, which is a fucking FEAT i did not imagine i’d be able to do). it is adding up to making trying reading bearable to do with a dictionary. It is all these things that took 2 years to become bearable last time, made doable much sooner (if only to tolerate for now, but eventually to improve). the hours spent just trying to do things in the language DO add up. 

so anyway advice for my future self is just: DO it. do stuff in the language now. i know you want to be prepared, but just start trying now and with anything you’re interested in even if you think its ‘too hard.’ it WILL add up and help you. 

[midnight-writ3r]

Caramel Latte

Pairing: Lee Taeyong x genderneutral reader

Genre: Fluff, slight angst, love confessions, getting together

Wordcount: 2.5 k

Inspired by: My soft hours for Taeyong and a coffee at 10 p.m.

Summary: Only at ten p.m. in the evening and over a cold Caramel Latte, does Taeyong understand his mistake.

A/N: Y´all first things first, Taeyong is one of my ults and I squealed while writing this, so I hope it´ll turn you super soft and smushy as well <3

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"Night, Y/N, don't forget to close the backdoor, when you're done."

You wave a lazy hand at Yuta, "That happened once and it was years ago. Will you let it go?"

"I was terrified! Imagine someone stole the coffee machine, or worse", Yuta frowns and shoulders his bag, "The curtains."

You laugh, eyeing the dark blue velvet curtains, hung around the coffee shop. They are the most expensive element in the whole establishment and Yuta would most definitely not hesitate to kill a man in favour of keeping them safe. They clash with the cheap, wooden tables and the many, small plants littered around every available surface. Yuta loves it though and, judging from your frequent customers, he's not the only one. Plus, the coffee is good, you know that yourself. You're the one making it after all.

"I get it, I get it." You chuckle, "now get out of here and home. You've been here since 5 am."

Yuta huffs as he looks at the clock in one of the corners, reading almost 9 p.m. now, "Yeah, maybe I'll try to take things easier tomorrow."

You agree with a nod, completely aware that Yuta would never take things easy, as long as the world still allowed it, "Greet Sicheng from me."

Smiling at the mention of his roommate, Yuta says: "He misses you, you know."

"I'll make sure to visit soon." Sticking your tongue out, you cause him to laugh softly, "but you're making the coffee."

"The things you ask of me." He wipes the back of his hand over his forehead in a dramatic fashion. Then, he gives you one of his beaming smiles, "Good night Y/N, get home safely, okay?"

One last time, you give him a nod and then, he is out of the door. The bell that adorns the doorway chimes away and you're enveloped in silence. Outside, the world is already drowned in the calmness of night and you huff, leaning against the wooden counter-top. No problem. You just have one more hour to go, then you can go home as well. The last hour of the day is never immensely busy but Yuta argues that it pays off in the end.

Waking up the coffee grinder, you sit in one of the seats, checking your phone. Some of your chats have a notification bubble next to them, but you ignore most of them for the moment. As you scroll through them, your thumb hovers over Taeyong's name. He changed his profile picture. It's a selfie of him, with a coffee in his free hand and a pleased smile on his face. Cute. Your throat gets tight and your eyes sting a little.

You quickly scroll past the chat, to get to your best friend and roommate's contact. In moods like these and hours like those, you can't imagine talking to anyone else. Unsurprisingly, there's already a message waiting for you:

Johnny: I still have some chocolate pie left over. Do you want it?

You: Duh, who are you talking to.

You: Besides, I still haven't done that thing they do in the movies. When their hearts get broken and they sit in front of the TV, to watch rom-coms and eat a container of ice cream.

You put your phone aside and let it ding away, in favour of making yourself a cup of coffee. People keep telling you that it isn't wise to drink coffee at such a late hour, since you wouldn't be able to sleep. Well, newsflash: you can always sleep. There's nothing that beats the taste, though. You lean over your phone to check Johnny's reply:

Johnny: I can go buy ice cream, too if you want. Plus, they have the Kissing Booth on Netflix now.

You snort.

You: Netflix and chill, who? We're doing Netflix and cry.

Johnny: To each their own.

Johnny: Jokes aside though, how are you feeling?

You take a deep breath, hovering your thumbs over the screen. How are you feeling? That's a good question. It's not quite like in the movies, where you feel like crying your heart out all night. Everything just feels a lot duller. Somehow, you just don't feel very complete. As if someone ripped your heart out and now, there is a tiny hole that lets in the cold air from outside.

You: Idk John, it's all still so fresh.

Johnny: I mean, it happened just a few days ago, so I'm not blaming you.

Johnny: We're worried though. Mark and I. You know we're there to talk if you want to, right?

Your heart warms up a little at the mention of your other best friend. Mark and Johnny had always been able to put a smile on your lips, no matter what. This time around though, you find yourself helpless. Find that not even the silly jokes your friends make are enough to get you out of your head.

And all that thanks to Taeyong.

You want to hate him, but you know that that would be absurd. Just because you had been crushing on him for over a year, doesn't mean he has to automatically reciprocate those very feelings. Sometimes, love is one-sided and that's natural. It doesn't hurt any less though. You can still remember his face, when you finally gathered the guts to tell him; you had never seen him so very terrified. He had barely managed to rasp out a small 'I'm sorry, I can't', before storming out of the room. Ever since then, you hadn't talked at all.

Which is ridiculous, because the two of you always talked. Any hour, any day, any occasion. Despite not knowing him for as long as Johnny, Mark or Yuta, there had never been anyone who made you feel at home as much as he had. You had done your homework together, had shared clothes, had watched movies and broken down plots, characters and everything there was to be criticized. You had read the stories you wrote, to him, while had let you listen to every track he composed, without exception. When he wasn't at your place, you were usually at his. When you fought, both of you would hurry to apologize by the next day, just because being without the other didn't feel right.

The two of you were soul mates, but then you had to destroy everything.

You: Thanks boo, I really appreciate it <3

You: I'll just finish my shift and then come home.

You: There better be some of that pie left.

Sighing again, you shut off your phone and close your hands around the warm coffee mug. There's that ache in your chest again. You had promised Johnny and yourself to stop thinking about him – stop thinking about that day – but that is so way easier said than done. You wonder what he's doing right now. If maybe, he already has someone to complete his heart and he's with them right now. The thought crushes you even more, so you shake your head to get rid of it.

Thankfully, a pair of girls come into the coffee shop at that moment and you're momentarily distracted. They stay for a while, after getting their order and chat a little with you. You put on your best smile, hoping it's enough for now. Another handful of customers come and go and suddenly, the clock reads 9.56 pm. You resist counting the seconds, or running to the entrance to lock up a little sooner, because that chocolate pie is really calling for you by now. Johnny even sent some pictures. Mmmmh.

You're in the middle of cleaning off the last couple of cups, when the doorbell chimes again. Looking up, you check who would dare to walk in last-minute and your breath gets stuck in your throat. Your hands grip the edge of the counter and you try to keep your eyes from watering. What is he doing here?

Taeyong looks as stunning as ever. His hair is styled neatly, brows sharp and a denim jacket slung over his shoulders that you always liked on him. There's a flower in his hand: a delicate white one, which he gently holds between the tips of his fingers. His eyes are the worst though – they look so sad and apologetic that you want to hit your head against the wall. Despite his usual calmness, they're red around the edges and as you don't want to read too much into that, you look away.

"What-" you clear your throat, "what can I get you?"

He hesitates for a second, before sliding into one of the seats at the counter. The flower is placed on the counter-top next to him, patiently waiting, "A caramel latte please."

You nod, "there's still some left, one second."

Pulling the jug from the coffee machine, you empty the remains of the coffee into a clean cup. Adding a little bit of caramel syrup, sugar and milk, you slide the cup across the counter. He thanks you with a strained, little smile and takes a sip. To your surprise he makes a disgusted face. He seems to attempt hiding it, but you still see it.

"What?" You ask, mildly offended.

"Nothing it's just", he huffs a gentle laugh, "it's cold."

You frown, taking the cup and taking a sip of your own. It is cold. And not in a very delicious way.

"I'm so sorry, I'll make a new one-"

"Y/N."

You turn to look at him. As soon as your eyes meet, you feel like looking away again, "W-what?"

"I thought about what happened", he mumbles, playing with the petals of his flower, "About what you said to me and I-... I wanted to apologize."

You bite the inside of your cheek and shake your head, "No Tae, you did nothing wrong. I should be the one to apologize. I just threw you off guard with all my dumb feelings, even though I should have known-"

"Please Y/N", he hurries, his eyes a little panicked now, "Don't take it back."

Your eyebrows furrow, "Huh?"

"I-" he gulps and looks down at his hands, "I made a mistake. It's true, I was taken aback by your confession, but that doesn't mean it was unwanted." You watch him closely, as he takes a few deep breaths, to collect himself, "The truth is, I'd never considered anything like this. With you, everything seemed to go so easy – so natural. The idea of a relationship was so strange, because I just didn't feel like we could get any closer.

I was scared of having to change the way we were, because I've never had a friend like you. I didn't want to loose you." running a hand through his hair, he gives a frustrated groan, "but then, the last days I started to think – really think – what it would be like. You know, having you as- as a partner and uhm- being your boyfriend."

He's getting all flustered now and your confused heart can't do anything but flutter at how cute it is. It's thumping so loudly, you're barely able to make sense of the words he says.

"In retrospect, to be honest I think that we already were a couple." he laughs nervously, "I realized that if I were to share every aspect of my life with someone else, there never was another option apart from you. You understand me, never judge me, you make me smile – make me feel like I don't want to be anywhere else. W-what I want to say is", he makes sure to look at you and from the corner of your vision, you see his hands shake, "that I like you too. And refusing you was the biggest mistake I've ever made."

You're frozen, staring at him, as he waits for you to say something, "Tae... I..."

"I've broken your heart and I- I could never apologize enough for that, but-"

"Tae, hold up a second." you stop him, before he can start rambling, "You-you're not mad at me?"

"Mad?" Taeyong's eyes widen as if that was the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard, "Are you kidding? I could never- I miss you. More than anything else. I want things to turn back to the way they were but... different. Maybe with a bit more couple-stuff, you know?" he shrugs awkwardly.

You can't help but laugh at him and his big, pleading eyes, "Couple-stuff, eh?" you lean against the counter, feeling your heart flutter as he leans in as well, "and what would that be?"

"We could start out small." he proposes, his hand creeping towards yours. With a smile, you intertwine your fingers.

"And how?"

Taeyong leans in even further, his eyes flickering to your lips every other second, "With a kiss, maybe? That's very couple-ish."

You stifle a grin, "Yeah okay, sounds good.

The distance between the two of you closes in a heartbeat, lips connecting like rain-drenched rose petals. Taeyong tastes of the cold coffee and something so distinctly Taeyong that you can't help put press a little closer. His hand wanders to your neck, as you continue to kiss, supporting you and guiding you at the same time. The two of you move slow, taking as long as you need, for time is on your side tonight. All the feelings you had already hoarded for each other flow between your connected mouths and it's something, you thought you could never have. Everything feels like a dream. But Taeyong is right there, and he holds you, even as you finally pull apart.

"Wow", Taeyong mumbles, his nose still grazing yours, "Yeah, that was all that was missing, I admit it."

You chuckle softly, leaning in a second time, to steal another kiss that he willingly gifts to you, "I want to get used to this."

"Me too." he admits and then his eyebrows shoot up, as he remembers something. The next thing you feel kissing you aren't Taeyong's lips, but something equally soft, "I brought you this. Johnny said, if you want to win someone over you have to bring them something that reminds you of them."

You eye the flower lovingly, as you twirl it between your fingertips, "You talked to Johnny, huh? Traitor."

"Yeah, I owe him a grande Pizza Pepperoni now." Taeyong huffs.

"Good, because I'm definitely in the mood for Pizza." You declare, starting to clean up the coffee shop. He watches you with his well-known, little kitten-smile. Once you locked up the front door, you step back towards him, standing between his legs and pressing your foreheads together, "And I bet it tastes a lot better, if I share it with you."

–*– FIN –*–