#im going to the seven hells. which one? all of them.

[estinininininen]

crude humor warning

------

"Okay so Estinien is avoiding Aymeric because he's worried about . . . about - "

"Hang on i'm running from the Halonic Inquisition-"

"-Phew, got away - anyway Estinien doesn't want to hang around Aymeric and keep his hopes up because he's worried his come counts as dragon's blood now, y'know, bodily fluids and all that, maybe even spit, and he doesn't want to risk it-"

a giant spear of light streaks across the heavens and stabs me through the neck, killing me instantly

around the corner, Estinien passes gil into the hands of a shadowy figure in church robes. He mourns, but he does not regret

the world shall never know the truth

(mild DRK spoilers: Rielle's mom did not instantly turn inside out into a dragon from her snatch after sleeping with her husband, so this is likely to not be a real concern. Buuuut with Nidhogg himself affecting Estinien, who knows?)

[fireinmoonshot]

surprise | tyler owens x reader

Pairing: Tyler Owens x Reader Summary: You drive to Oklahoma to surprise Tyler before a chase after he's had a stressful week. Warnings: Tyler calls reader baby. Other than that, I think there's nothing! Word Count: 1.2k A/N: I randomly had this idea after I rewatched Twisters tonight and thought it was so cute so I had to write it. I am also working on some requests you guys have sent in, just have been having a crazy few days at work so I haven't had the chance to finish and post them – but they're coming! For now, enjoy this! 💗

The second that Tyler stops the truck, it’s practically swarmed by tens of fans, all wanting an autograph and a selfie and the chance to see the famous Tornado Wranglers in person. The gas station is packed to the brim full of actual professional storm chasers and amateurs. You would consider yourself to be neither.

From your spot across the parking lot, you watch as Tyler exits the car, yelling his famous catchphrase: “If you feel it…”, the fans finishing it off with “chase it!” You’re leant up against the door of your own car, a smile on your face as you see the smile on Tyler’s. He almost always takes the time to greet everyone that’s come out to see them, signing photos and taking selfies. His stash of pre-signed photos that he keeps in his car always coming in handy.

Dating the one and only Tyler Owens, famous storm chaser, was not something for the weak. You’d known that from the very start. To anyone else, it’d probably bother them, having to wait for him to interact with all of the fans before he could make his way over to you. But for you? You love being able to watch him, see the genuine joy on his face at meeting the people who had changed his life by watching their once little Youtube videos. You wish you got to do it more often.

You know that when Tyler does eventually spot you, it’ll be worth all the waiting, worth the hours of solo driving you’d done alone to get here. Nearly seven hours of driving from your home in Arkansas just to surprise your boyfriend. He’d been stressed lately with the lack of storms across Oklahoma and the neighbouring states along Tornado Alley, wondering what was going to happen to their channel if they couldn’t produce content for it.

But the sight of everyone still taking selfies with the Wranglers proves to you that Tyler has nothing to worry about at all. You can see the Tornado Wranglers have a loyal fanbase. 

You watch for a few more minutes, stifling a yawn as you do. You’d stopped after five hours of driving last night and spent the night at a motel which had given you one of the worst nights sleep of your life, and done the last few hours in the morning before arriving at the gas station that Tyler had told you they were headed to today. It was the closest gas station to where storms were predicted today, hence the crowd. 

You’re about to start wandering over towards Tyler and the other Wranglers, still making their way through the crowd of fans, when you can see Tyler spot you. He’s just finished taking a selfie with a middle-aged woman when he stops in his tracks, eyes settling on you. Even from your distance, you can tell he’s spotted you.

It’s confirmed when he mutters a quick word to the people around him before he takes off at a run, straight towards you. He kicks up dust and dirt as he runs, trying to get to you as quickly as possible. You can’t keep the smile off your face as he gets closer.

“Baby, what the hell!?” He yells, not long before he reaches you. 

Tyler almost knocks the wind out of you as he barrels into you, wrapping his arms around your body and lifting you off the ground. He spins you around in a circle and it’s impossible not to laugh at the feeling, his arms tight around you. He sets you back down on the ground and pulls away, hands still resting on your waist.

“Surprise,” you grin at him. 

“You drove all this way just to surprise me?” Tyler looks at you in awe, his eyes both filled with an immense amount of love as well as a tinge of worry. “Baby, that’s a seven hour drive. Didn’t you have a shift yesterday? Please don’t tell me you drove all night.”

You shake your head. “I only drove till midnight, then I stopped at a motel. Promise.”

Tyler moves one of his hands to cup your cheek before he leans in and presses a kiss to your forehead. “You’re insane, y’know that? Drivin’ till midnight after an eight hour shift. You should’ve told me. What if something had happened to you on the road?” 

You can see the worry etched on his face so you waste no time in pulling him in for a hug again, burying your face in his chest. Tyler reacts immediately, gently resting one of his hands on the side of your head. You feel him take a deep breath, taking everything in, taking your presence in. 

“Ty, nothing happened. I’m here, I’m safe. I’m with you.”

He nods and rubs one of his hands up and down your back. “Thank you for comin’, baby. You have no idea how good it feels to be holdin’ you right now. When I looked over here and I saw you… was like everything felt like it might actually be okay.”

“Cause it will be, Ty,” you assure him. “But I do feel a little bad for tearing you away from the people that didn’t get selfies or autographs with you before you ran off.”

Tyler pulls away from the hug, but he still keeps a hand on you. “You got nothin’ to feel bad about, baby. I promise you that. And they all know who you are, I’m sure they get it.” 

You smile up at him and then have to stifle another yawn. Your attempt at hiding it fails spectacularly, though, and Tyler narrows his eyes at you. 

“Did you get any sleep last night?” One of his hands rests on your cheek again, a thumb gently stroking back and forth over your cheek. 

“A little,” you say. “The motel was kinda dodgy. The mattress was like a rock.”

Tyler gives you one of his best unimpressed looks and shakes his head. “Okay, I’m sending you back to our motel. I’ll give you my room key, it’s in the truck, and you can go and rest up while we try and chase this storm this afternoon.”

“No, no,” you disagree. “I’m comin’ with you, Ty. I didn’t drive all this way just to be cooped up in some motel watching your chase on a computer screen. I gotta steal my seat back from Boone. He’s been gettin’ way too comfortable up there.”

Tyler let out a laugh and leans down to gently peck your lips. “Oh, baby, you know that seat belongs to you. And believe me, Boone knows it too.” 

He attempts to step backwards, then, but you’re quick to move, placing one of your hands on the back of his neck and bringing his lips back to yours. Tyler has no objections, wrapping his arms around your waist as he kisses you back. It’s been weeks since he last saw you, weeks since he got to kiss you like this. You’re surprised he managed to hold off on it for so long after reuniting with you. 

“Come on,” you say after breaking apart from the kiss. You reach down and grab Tyler’s hand in yours, weaving your fingers through his. “Let’s go give the rest of these people their autographs and selfies and get me my seat back.”

Tyler grins, giving your hand a squeeze. “Lead the way, baby.” 

[livelaughloveluffy]

confession - trafalgar water d. law

a/n: sorry, i cant not call law "captain". its the same thing with luffy too, its just so hot 😭😭😭 fanfic is truly the only lawless time that i would be into some sort of power imbalance in a relationship, what happens on tumblr, stays on tumblr 😭💀

a/n: okay, not to like be the girl that pairs her fics with songs, but like... the second i finished proof-reading this i couldn't help but think of how well this fit: so here it is; hopefully you see the vision 😭😭😭 you can't tell me that song isn't law coded as hell 💀

nothing but fluff here 💗

---------------------------------------------------------------------

when law first asked you to join the heart pirates, he never intended to fall for you. in fact, he actively tried to not fall for you.

it wasn't because there was anything wrong with you. you were everything he wanted and more, but he didn't want to be in a relationship. he didn't know how to be, if he was ready for one, how to be a boyfriend. he knew this, at yet, he couldn't keep his eyes off of you.

•♡•

when you first joined the heart pirates, initially you thought that the captain regretted even asking you to join. you always felt his watchful gaze following you. even when he wasn't around, you could still feel the burn of his intense hazel eyes on your skin. it became difficult for you to even look at law without blushing slightly, feeling a bit intimidated by him, but also intrigued.

so when he asked you for help organizing the files and loose papers in his office, you instantly agreed. party because you hoped that if you did a good job, you would prove to the captain that you were competent and a good choice to be on his crew, and partly because you held the tiniest bit of hope that this could be an opportunity to get to know him more.

•♡•

okay, so, maybe you were wrong. maybe this was a bad idea. i mean, you can't say no to the captain's orders, but also. this was painfully awkward. at least for you it was. you had been going through the loose papers on law's desk with minimal guidance from him. he sat on the opposite side, engrossed in work.

once the mess of papers on his desk were somewhat figured out, you moved them to a separate (just as cluttered) table in his office to set the down on while you gather other papers scattered around the room. even now with your back turned, you could feel law's hazel eyes following you as you moved around his office.

you hurriedly grabbed the other miscellaneous papers, bringing them to the secondary table, where you then decided to take a seat and really sort through them all, carefully scanning their content to determine how you should file them.

it wasn't until a good half an hour in, that you uncovered an open book buried beneath the papers. you make note of the page it is opened on, holding a finger in place there, as you turned to look at the cover.

"i didn't know you were reading this series law! it's one of my favorites! how are you liking it?" law glanced up from his work, looking to see what book you were talking about. with a scoff, he suddenly seemed to perk up a bit, which was the most excitement you'd ever seen displayed from the captain. "fuck, i've been looking for that book for seven months, every island we stopped at that had a bookstore was always sold out. i've been wondering how it ends for ages now."

"it's my all time favorite in the series, the ending was amazing! i wouldn't mind rereading the whole series just to read that book again.... im glad i could find it for you!" you replied, with a wide smile.

law quietly stood up, leaving his desk to walk over to the bookcase beside it. he grabbed the very first book of the series. as he walked over to you, he paused right in front of you for a second, as if contemplating what he was about to do before offering the first volume to you in exchange for the copy you had found of the third volume. with his gruff and quiet voice, he announced "the office can get organized another day, wanna read for a bit?"

•♡•

true, law was always intrigued by you, from the very second he met you. but pure intrigue had instantly shifted to attraction the second he looked up at you holding the "lost" copy of the book he had been obsessed with. it was to his surprise that you too had also read this series, and loved it.

before he could even process what was happening he heard the words "the office can get organized another day, wanna read for a bit?" slip out of his mouth. and the instant wide smile that shined on your face after he did make him so glad he had said it.

•♡•

it wasn't too long after that first day organizing law's office that the two of you made it a plan to read together. quiet and dark evenings in the captain's office, spent in comfortable silence and the the frequent ambient sound of page turning as the two of you read and reread some of the best moments in your beloved book series.

as you both continued to make progress with the novels each night, the more you noticed the utter charm of the captain. his toned, tan, tattooed chest, his messy dark brown hair, his piercing eyes as the scanned the words on the page in front of him.

you two had grown comfortable in each other's presence, and even began to prefer it to being alone. this small routine being the only time you guys got to spend together alone, becoming an honored custom.

but you couldn't help but hope for more from the captain...

•♡•

law had a hard time vocalizing his feelings. this was something he always knew, but didn't quite have to face the reality of until he was sitting alone in his dark office, waiting for you to show up for your usual nightly reading date, but as the clock ticked by he began to give up hope.

his jealousy bubbled to the surface when he walked into the common room to be greeted with you.... hanging out with shachi, penguin, and bepo, cuddled up next to the soft polar bear mink during a movie night with the crew. what bothered him the most, wasn't the obvious sitting right in front of him, but the fact that he was the one who let it happen. its not like you knew that he'd been harboring feelings for you, he never said anything. but that was about to change.

snuggled into the warm fur of your mink friend, you didn't even notice the law's quiet whispers across the common room "room... shambles."

•♡•

in an instant, you were suddenly in law's office. instead of your head being buried into the soft white fur of navigator of the heart pirates, instead your cheek was laying against the soft warm bare chest of the captain. finally adjusting to your surrounds, you startle a bit "captain.. what the hell is going-"

his arms tighten their grasp around your body, keeping you pressed against him. "sorry... i just.. i couldn't stand watching the two of you that close anymore..." he explained, his voice gruff and somewhat defiant, as if it was a sign of weakness and vulnerability to come clean about the way he feels. "i just.... i was waiting for you tonight.."

you softly began to explain the situation "im so sorry, bepo and the gang dragged me to movie night before i could make it to your office" with side of your face pressed against law's bare chest, you could feel his heart racing, he was much more nervous than he let on. and you, feeling proud of him for being able to vocalize his feelings this far, you decided to make it a bit easier for him when you reply "if you wanted me, captain... all you had to do was ask.."

you could feel him bury his face into your hair, and for a moment he just sat there, holding you, soaking it all in, before he lets out the smallest whisper, just barely loud enough for you to hear, as if he's so afraid to say his wish out loud, like doing so would make it disappear "please be mine?"

you lifted your head up, bringing a hand to the side of his cheek, before you reply "consider me all yours, captain."

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a/n: i may have written the end of this fic before the beginning, so just roll with it if the flow is kind of weird at the end 😭😭 idk how much longer i can stare at my laptop writing this 💀

a/n: enjoyed this fic? here's my masterlist!!

[spanktony]

prologue. | WHERE DO YOU SLEEP? — YU JIMIN.

𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀 — y/n, a rising music producer, has built her dream career while keeping her personal life under wraps. karina, aespa’s leader, is preparing for a huge comeback with a mini album produced and written by the one and only y/n.

karina knows this is the opportunity of a lifetime, and she has to nail it. the only problem is, she may be a bit distracted by her producer.

something about their connection feels different—like maybe it's worth the risk of prying eyes. but how much will they give up to chase after what they want?

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 — none.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 — 1.3k

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲— dude, i've been writing this series like crazy to the point im almost finished. and i HATE the first 3-4 chapters because they're kinda boring bruh. but happy new years guys! enjoy!

taglist — open!

series masterlist. main masterlist. next.

the first few months back in seoul were nice.

actually, more than nice, it was everything you hoped for after being on the road bouncing from city to city.

you had just gotten off a mini u.s. tour, with a big emphasis on mini because it was only around seven cities in total. but even that small stretch was a whirlwind of airport terminals, crowded venues, and late nights in hotel rooms that all started to blend together.

you had missed seoul, specifically your grandmother's house, because that is where most of your childhood memories took place.

born in new york, you were adopted by two of the kindest people you'd ever known. your parents met in the city, fell in love, and decided to start a family through adoption. your mom, who was korean, made sure you spent every summer in seoul with your grandma so you could stay connected to your roots—learning the language and culture firsthand.

it was her way of preserving what mattered, and you were grateful for it. those summers with your grandma was something you'd cling onto till eternity.

your parents did an amazing job of raising you—big props to them.

now, at 22, you were five years into your career in music. producer, singer-songwriter, performer—if it involved music, you were all in.

things had moved fast: two grammys out of the four nominations, three spotify 1 billion streams plaques that all hung proudly in your studio, and countless music festivals under your belt. you had done everything, from coachella to lollapalooza to bonnaroo and a slew of others.

though you were proud of all you'd achieved, the constant performing was beginning to take its toll. you needed a break from the spotlight, from the endless cycle of promotions and tours. you loved the hell out of your fans, but man you were tired.

so, when you told your management you wanted to step back from performing and focus on writing and producing, they were hesitant. they had their plans for you, but they knew better than to argue when you were so adamant. they respected your decision, and now here you were, doing exactly what you wanted. helping others create music, being behind the scenes rather than on stage, where you could breathe easier.

after months of your team sending your demos out to various artists, you finally got a callback from smtown. saying you were nervous was an understatement. the nerves had settled in your chest and stayed there, a heavy weight that didn't want to go away.

you had written this demo with a friend a few months ago, and it was one of your favorites. it was a little different from the usual songs you produced, and it was a risk. but when the call came, your team couldn't have been more supportive. you were excited but terrified at the same time.

that brings you to today, a month later, sitting in the lobby of the smtown building.

your legs bounced uncontrollably as you stared at the clock on the wall, counting down the minutes until the meeting started. you were early—not too early—but the wait was killing you. the lobby was quiet, which was unusual since the building was constantly buzzing with artists coming and going. the company was big on privacy, though. they always tried to make sure no one was photographed, and you respected them for it.

your manager sat beside you, cool as always, one hand scrolling through his phone while the other rested casually on his knee. you had known him since you were 19, fresh to the music scene and pretty much a mess. he was assigned to keep your career on track, and while he took his job seriously, he didn’t have the whole uptight vibe that most other people in the industry did. he was cool, collected, and a little sassy, which you appreciated more than you'd like to admit.

"seriously, can you stop moving so much?" he said, not even looking up from his phone. "you're making me dizzy just watching you."

"i'm just... excited," you mumbled, forcing yourself to sit still. "i can't help it."

he rolled his eyes dramatically and shook his head. "excited? you look like you're about to pass out. you do know that they already liked your song, right? they called us in."

"yeah, i know," you replied, trying to shake the jitters. "but, you know... they could change their minds. or something."

"or something," he mimicked. a glare shot his way, one that he didn't seem to mind at all. he was used to your glares. he had dealt with them for the last three years, after all. "please. just relax, okay? i'm sure it'll go well."

you nodded, taking a deep breath.

glancing down at your phone to see your mom's text, smiling to yourself. she always knows how to make you feel at home, even from halfway across the world.

mom ❤️: tell your dad that he's too old for tiktok. he keeps trying to dance.

you snicker. a response from your father quickly comes, adding another grey bubble to your screen from your family's group chat.

dad 💙: tell your mom to mind her own business and to get off my phone!

you slip your phone back into your pocket as your manager taps your shoulder, his hand lingering on your shoulder before he gestures for you to follow him.

you rise from the seat, following behind him as another figure begins leading him. lots of leading. so many twists and turns. and then an elevator, which the three of you step into, where you immediately blow a quick raspberry, the sound loud and a little childish. the corners of your mouth twitch as you try to stifle a laugh.

you glance up at your manager, who doesn't seem to mind the odd noise at all—he's used to you and your little ways. when you look at the other man, he looks surprised but intrigued. you think he's trying not to laugh as well.

stepping off the elevator and rounding a corner of the building, you pull the brim of your hat down a bit more with your right hand, hoping to cover a little more of your face. it's a nervous habit that's stuck with you since the beginning of your career.

your manager, walking just ahead, casts a quick glance back at you. his expression is neutral, but there's a certain glint in his eyes that tells you he's as excited as you are, if not more. the other man—a member of the smtown staff, you assume—keeps pace, a very fast pace, as he's much taller than either of you.

curse tall people and their long legs.

the three of you finally stop outside a room marked 115.

your manager turns to look at you, a smile on his face.

"this is it," he says. "are you ready?"

silence.

karina's eyes are unfocused, staring after your footsteps that are moving further and further away. it's an early morning, and the group has been called into the company's building for an important meeting revolving around their upcoming comeback. it had been a long couple of months since their last project, and everyone was eager to dive into new material.

the sound of her manager's voice, calling her name, pulls her out of her reverie.

"karina?"

she blinks, her gaze snapping back toward the voice that is holding the boardrooms' main door open, awaiting her entrance. karina blinks a few more times, her eyes refocusing as she shakes off the lingering thoughts of the stranger she had just seen.

she's usually good at recognizing people in this building, but she doesn't know who the person is. the black new york yankees hat was pulled so low over their face that she couldn't make out any features.

"karina," her manager calls again, a little louder.

"yes, sorry, i'm coming."

she steps into the boardroom, a small room with a long, sleek table and a whiteboard at the front of the room. several of her fellow members are already seated at the table, along with their managers and a couple of other staff members.

series masterlist. main masterlist. next.

[okiedokrie]

INFERNO

Summary: The witch trials are in full swing, the church ordered for all witches to be burned at the stake. From morning until the night, you pray for those who turned their back against God. But a knock at your door startled you, the church, in desparation, accused you of witchcraft. Only then did you realize that your God has long forsaken you. Now, you make a deal with the Devil.

Characters/Pairing(s): Demon!Joshua X F!Reader

Genre: Smut, Angst, Horror

AUs/Trope info: Demon!AU, Contract Relationship

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: References to witch trials, religious terminologies, literally talking about giving birth to the anti-christ, killing everyone (im being serious), (smut warnings under the cut)

Rating: 18+

A/N: Dedicated to the ji to my han @nebulousbrainsoup

Smut Warnings: oral (f receiving), slight overstim, taking virginity, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, creampie,

"Halt! You are being seized by the church. You will now confess all your transgressions to the light of the lord." The knights of the holy empire called out to you, that the one day you left the church to purchase food was the day you got accused of dark arts before your peers.

"Wretched witch, pay the price of your sins with blood and tears. Your crimes against our lord will not go unpunished. Come to the break of dawn in a fortnight, you shall burn at the stake as you will in hell."

The metal of the constraints dug into your skin, you aren't sure if the metallic scent in the air was rust, or blood, you couldn't hear the screams of those being tortured over the ringing of your own ears. You pray, this time for your own salvation; but seven days have passed and your god has not come to save you.

Whether it was desperation or disappointment, you couldn't tell. But something pulled you, so magnetic, the darkness that surrounded you was promising vengeance.

The sky grew dark as it was clouded in a tint of red as if the heavens bled for you, but your back is against them now, no god is here to save you.

"A soul most pure, intriguing, very intriguing." A layered voice said, it whispered, screamed, groaned, and moaned. You knew exactly who this was, the lord of darkness himself.

"Tell me, after devoting your life to your God, why have you come to beg for my mercy?" The shadows started to condense, each word was also a step towards you, the shadow now vaguely resembling the figure of a man.

"I beg of you, lord of darkness, spare me mercy for my God has forsaken me, give me salvation, and I will then devote my every hour to you, waking or not." You beg as you fall onto your knees, your skin breaking against the cold stone floor as your nails drag across the dirty floor, the grime building as filth under your nails.

He chuckles, "Let me make one thing clear, you call yourself a devotee, but when you are on the stage that is life, you are first and foremost, an actor." The voice echoed in the chamber you were a prisoner in, and the click of his heeled shoes ticked like a clock, "Good actors hone their craft, to captivate the audience. You may act like a devoted follower of the good lord, but you were promised to be mine. My mother of demons.”

He continued, voices condensing into a sound more fathomable, but still as sinister. “There is a seed of darkness in your purest of souls, feeding on the last of the purity in you. All I have to do is nurture it, and you will be mine.”

The darkness ripples and cracks around you, the air becoming hot, the smell of lightning invades your senses, overbearing, overpowering the reality you were accustomed to.

The voice speaks again, swirling into a deep masculine voice. His voice becoming more palatable to your much too human ears, you mind is no longer straining to comprehend the horror of his diction, “Which is why I will offer you a contract. Give what is most pure of you to me, and I shall protect you, give you the power to burn this earth to the ground, return them to me, and I will promise you a life of bliss by my side."

He steps into the dim red light, you see him now, a man dressed in a black suite that was much too modern for your time, his glowing amber eyes pierced your very heart as the smirk on his plump lips bared his fangs to you. His hand is outstretched to you, black lacquered nails and a glowing purple glyph etched onto the palm of his skin.

"Come now, won't you shake a poor sinner's hand?"

You jump from your place on the floor, grasping his hand, and with a firm shake, you say, "I do, I promise to answer your every beck and call, I will serve you, my lord."

You feel the mark on his palm burn onto yours, the pain was insurmountable, like all the ends of your nerves were burning, pain that you could feel in the very core of your being, but then, bliss.

The contract has been signed, the seal now is to take your purity.

Confiteor Deo Omnipotenti, beatae Mariae semper virgini, beato Michaeli archangelo, sanctis apostolis omnibus sanctis, quia peccavi nimis.

The cathedral bells ring ominously, and a dark red tint paints the sky to warn the people below the heavens that the devil has taken hold of another poor, unfortunate soul.

The choir sang as the church bells rang, another soul lost to the dark hands of the devil. A path of sin paved with blood, sweat, and tears. Solemn was the tone of the town, a young maiden of the nobility embraced the devil himself, lost in his sweet kiss.

You embraced him, your body, mind, and soul now his. In every sense of the word, you gave your life to him. The people mourned and wept for you, their hearts heavy with the weight of this stain, this sin you left for them to bear as you will live forever in the dark bliss of the devil's tongue.

He kissed you passionately, his black heart almost beating for you, cold hands held you delicately, as if the slightest touch would break you, he laid you on the sheet that acted as your bed in this cell.

He trailed his hands slowly, starting from your knees to your thighs, the way his palms ghosted over your skin made goosebumps rise, he hooks his fingers to your draws, pulling the garment from under your skirt and discarding it to an unknown corner of the cell.

He stares down at your heat, golden eyes in a heated stare with your wet pussy, a flower yet to be plucked, dripping with golden honey as the lord of darkness blew the cold air into it.

He placed a delicate kiss to your knee, he was much more delicate than what you’d expect the lord of darkness’s intimate manner would be, trailing equally soft kissed down the length of your thigh to the apex of them, your sex clenching in anticipation.

His forked, long tongue licked a stripe across your heat, collecting your sweet essence on his tongue, he groaned at the contact to your velvet flesh, reveling in the feeling of unbridled lust.

You throw your head back, a coil in your stomach was starting to form was the lord worked his tongue around your folds, stopping occasionally to suckle on your clit, you thread your fingers in his hair, pushing his head closer to your heat in a desperate attempt for more friction.

He continued this gentle but dizzying pace with one goal on his mind, to taste the first and last time this flower tasted so sweet. The coil in your stomach was tightening almost painfully, the pleasure was insurmountable, pressure was building in a way that you never experienced before.

Then the coil snapped.

You throw your head back in a silent scream, your body shivering from the impact of such a powerful orgasm, he continues his ministrations on your heat, only this time avoiding your clit.

He licked your essence off his lips, he discarded his pants somewhere along the time he was between your legs, his firm hands took your legs and threw them over his shoulder, you catch his shoulder,

"Wait!" You plead, "my lord, your name, please give me your name." you say, the dark lord stared at you, but only for a moment.

He stares into your eyes, his amber gaze burning into your memory before he speaks again. "Joshua. Joshua would be more suitable for your human tongue." He said, as he finally entered you.

"Joshua-!" you gasp out, the stretch of his girth deliciously burned, his hard cock dragging into your heat with just friction that it didn't matter how wet you already were.

He rolls his hips in a slow and steady pace, taking in every new expression on your face and sound that you make. He bit his lip, holding back his own noises to savor the sweet sounds falling freely from your lips.

He picks his pace up after he notices you relax more, the force that his hips meet yours made your body rock upwards, shaking from the pressure that was rubbing against your walls.

"I'll breed you, your body, mind, and soul, all mine for the rest of time. I'll plant my seed into you, you'll bare the devil's children, mother of demons. My whore for all eternity." He breathed out, ragged from the force he was thrusting into you, you could only feel the rapid thumping of your heart over the ringing in your ears, your head was pleasantly empty, the only thoughts in your head was the delicious drag of his cock into you.

"Oh- Joshua-! It feels so good, oh- I feel it-!" You moan out, although you aren't sure if that's exactly what you said, for all you know, it could've just been babbling noises.

"Yes, cum around my cock, cream on it and milk it for it for all it's worth." he groans out, clearly also close to his release, his grip on your hips, dark talons digging into the skin and drawing blood.

Another coil snaps in you, this time, much more powerful. You can fill a surge of dark power being absorbed into you at the same time Joshua spills his seed into you, this dark force was hot, it felt like you had the power of a god swirling inside of you.

Out of breathe, Joshua looks at you, "by the break of dawn, you will no longer be human. Let the sleep take you, my dear, for the next time you awaken, your final waking place will be all of the new world. I promise you that."

He said as he placed a searing kiss to your forehead.

By the time the sun rose again, all the strength you had lost from being imprisoned here had not only returned to you, but you were now stronger, the dark flame burning under your skin fueled your anger, and an unholy boiling boils beneath the surface.

The cell, the dungeon, all the king's men, all the king's subjects, and the king himself, will not escape your inferno.

The only throne left standing is the one where Joshua sits, ruling over the sinners of the old world with you by his side.

[delulujuls]

navy fury | mv33

im a redbull stan and max's girlie till i die (but my heart is papaya shaped) so please enjoy this one as well!

summary: max is struggling with asking for help, reader is trying her best to let him know that she always got his back

warnings: negative emotions, angst, max struggling with his demons, jos verstappen (he is the biggest warning lol)

pairing: max verstappen x fem!mclarendriver

Max would often get angry.

More often than he would like it to be. More often than he would want a consuming wave of anger to wash over him, for fury to engulf him and inject its burning venom into his veins. He would get angry over trivial things, get angry over bigger issues either. Anger would truly eat him up every time something didn't go as planned.

However, he tried to fight with his anger and negative emotions at all costs. Instead of processing them, letting go and moving on, he would bottle them up, allowing them to fester and poison his entire being. He preferred to get angry in solitude, where he knew nothing wrong would happen and even if it did, he would be the only one harmed.

Unfortunately, Max found a kind of satisfaction and comfort in hurting others. Emotions dissipated much faster when he could engage in an argument with someone rather than sitting in silence with only his own screams shattering his head.

If Max could have any control over himself and his emotions, he would unplug the anger outburst responsible for explosions of anger like this one.

He didn't hear the insults that left his mouth, didn't hear Christian's shouts telling him to calm down. He didn't feel the strong arms of the mechanics holding him back and pulling him away from Lance Stroll, who sat on the ground with a bleeding nose. In moments like this, Max was guided by nothing but emotions, desperately trying to find any way out.

In moments like this Max knew that to feel relief he had to destroy something. It didn't matter if it was a glass, his shattered fists or the bleeding nose of that Aston Martin dickhead who ruined his entire race.

Many people in his immediate surroundings distinguished the Dutchman before the anger storm and after it. Before it was Max, after it, there was only Verstappen.

Just as Max was the friendly, smiling guy who joyfully congratulated his rivals, willingly gave interviews and joked with team members, Verstappen was a walking hailstorm from which lightning could strike at any moment.

"Fucking idiot."

He growled one last time and walked deeper into the garage, where everyone he encountered averted their gaze and moved out of his way. It was always best to simply get out of Max's way and let him cool down. But no one knew that the fire of anger was just beginning to burn and the epicenter was yet to come.

"What the hell was that, Max?"

Cold water. The hiss of an extinguished fire.

He felt a tightness in his chest upon hearing his father's voice. Jos Verstappen was the only person who could instantly turn his anger into pure, filtered fear.

Max unzipped his racing suit, unable to look his father in the face. He didn't even know what to say. What was there to say either, he had just let his father down. Not for the first time though.

"I asked you a question."

His father's cold, gruff tone cut Max to the core and once again, Max was six years old, stuttering as he explained to his dad why he crashed his go-kart into his friend's. Apologizing and making excuses, saying it wasn't his fault that another seven-year-old cut him off. In his eyes, Max wasn't a grown man with an amazing track record, he was just a brat who needed discipline because he made idiotic mistakes.

His father was about to thunder over him again when the whole stormy situation was suddenly illuminated by a ray of sunshine. Quite literally, as it was Y/N still dressed in her bright McLaren suit, who upon hearing about the commotion in the Aston Martin garage hastily went out to found her friend.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Verstappen, but Max is needed in the studio," she said quickly, grabbing Max's hand "Come on, Max, we need to go."

"We'll come back to this conversation."

His father mumbled under his breath, watching them go.

The girl squeezed her friend's hand tighter and started pulling him in the opposite direction, wanting to get him away from his father as quickly as possible.

"I'm not in the mood for interviews."

"There's no interview; I had to come up with something quickly to get you out of there."

Max stopped, causing Y/N to be pulled back as well. Surprised by his sudden decision, she turned to him with a questioning expression.

"I want to be alone right now, without anyone."

He let go of her hand but she still stubbornly held onto his fingers.

"We both know you don't want to be alone."

Max shook his head in denial. The last thing he wanted was to be in her company right now. He knew that when the commotion and the crowd disappeared, all the emotions would flood over him like a toxic wave.

"You don't understand."

"Yes, I don't understand because you don't give me the chance."

The girl approached him, their bodies only a few inches apart.

"Everything is fine between us only when you're in a good mood. We are really close, we spend time together and we are acting like actual friends. But as soon as something doesn't go your way and your behavior changes, you build a thick wall between us." Y/N looked into his eyes, shaking her head. "Friends don't do that, Max."

"That's what the best friends do," he replied, looking into her eyes. As they were always in the colour of the clear sky, in that moment they were having a storm inside. "The best friends won't drown you in the shit that's swirling through their lives, they won't drag you into their inner conflicts. The best friends won't be a burden to you, you know why? Because they'll just spare you that!"

Y/N embraced him without a word. She hugged him with such force that someone would need chains to pull her away. She had no intention of leaving Max's side, no matter what he was struggling with. She wanted to help him, to be his support and to be the light in his darkest nights. She had no intention of letting him continue to deceive himself with assurances that everything was always perfect. Because life never looks that way.

Adult Max didn't return her embrace, knowing that it was for the best. Adult Max closed his eyes and tilted his head, not wanting to let a single tear escape. He hoped that by remaining distant, by hurting the girl with his indifference, she would let go of him. But Little Max didn't want to make her sad; he wanted to hug his friend and not let her go until everything will be okay again.

"I won't leave you with this, Maxie. If you like it or not."

Maxie.

Lighter.

Explosion.

He exploded in tears without any warning. He sank to his knees and tightly embraced his friend, burying his face in her stomach. Y/N stroked his hair, holding him close. She didn't try to calm him, knowing full well that he just needed to cry. He needed to let out all the sadness, anger, and bitterness that had accumulated in his veins and poisoned him for years.

When the girl kissed his wet cheek, she could swear that it left a bitter taste on her lips.

And it was exactly the venom finally letting him go.

[jewish-vents]

i’m a teacher and i had a kid draw a swastika in my classroom on like. the second day of school. so one of our admin came in to two of my classes the next day to talk about it. and she started by telling this story about how she had a hijabi student. and a boy in the class was “really curious about what her hair looked like.” and had the students guess what happened next (pulled the hijab off, gross and awful) and how that might have made the hijabi student feel. at this point i’m sitting at my desk like “it’s been five minutes are we going to talk about the swastika” and then she finally goes “yesterday someone drew a symbol that represents division. and hate. and those aren’t things we stand for” and a kid (of course) was like what was it? and this fucking woman turns to me and goes “are you comfortable sharing what it was?”

?????? i thought that’s why you were here?? i thought you were here to explain why swastikas are not okay, and we are seven minutes into your little presentation and you haven’t said the word swastika or even jewish. so i said it was a swastika and several of the kids didn’t know what that was. which was disturbing on its own as i teach middle school but i digress. i said no way in hell am i drawing one so my admin looks at me and is like “could you google a picture?”

can’t believe i did this but i didn’t know what else to do in the moment so i pulled up a google image search of swastikas and projected it on the board. at no point did the admin say “hey you can take that down now” it just sat up there until i got uncomfortable and sick to my stomach enough to close it myself. and then she came back the next period and did the WHOLE song and dance again (no jewish, no antisemitism, not even the word NAZI which is insane to me) and STILL told the opening story about the hijabi girl even with two hijabi girls sitting in the class this time who were clearly uncomfortable.

this was like three weeks ago and it’s been quietly bothering me for a while and i finally told my (nonjewish) work friends about it and they were all like “holy shit that’s so fucked that she asked you to do that�� and i told my (jewish) partner and he went “she couldn’t have picked up a fucking marker??” and that was when it really hit me.

maybe she didn’t want to be in a situation where she drew a swastika on a jewish teachers whiteboard. ok. but she apparently didn’t consider the WORSE implications of asking that same jewish teacher to google an image of a swastika and project a google image search of a page FULL of swastikas on her board.

AND she never once checked in with me after that. she left the class without talking to me again and hasn’t said a word about it since. i remember i even asked her “do you want me to leave the room” beforehand because im thinking i don’t want to have to look at swastikas but she asked me to stay because “the impact is real and they need to see it” which. uh. i’ve been pushing this experience down for weeks bc at the end of the day it “wasn’t that bad” but like. holy shit. she really wanted to put my trauma on display for the students instead of just asking me to leave and explaining what a swastika is/showing them one. and it took her nearly ten minutes to get to the actual swastika!! i’m just. so done

.

[thepringlesofblood]

the vibe im getting from FHJY is that this is the season where they really lean into the high school aspect. that probably sounds bonkers since its called Fantasy High, but like. hear me out.

Freshman year, they come at high school from the "John Hughes" "80s teen movie trope" vibe, which is to say different from the real-world experience of high school.

it works great! operating in that frame of reference makes everything flow really well, and hits all the high-school-related-media notes in a very satisfying way while putting its own spin on it and not getting bogged down by the actual slog that is high school in reality.

there's still a lot of more modern inspo, but it stays in the kinda expectation-suspension-tropey area of how 80s movie high school works.

Sophomore year is spring break! I believe in you! They're not at school! They're on an adventure!

They lean into being a teenager and coming-of-age themes a lot (obvs), but the only big reference point to the institution of high school is that it'll be worth 60% of their grade.

A huge point, to be sure, and the exact kind of objectively unfair but somehow not against the rules shit that happens in high school, but not the main driving force of the season.

arthur aguefort also does a bunch of wack shit but it's more fantasy than it is high school although its a lot of both.

they lean into adventuring as a set career path much more, with the school giving money for hirelings and offering a basic incentive for other students to go, so that's a loose connection to the real-world career counseling high schools have, but again, not the main thing.

VERY Important though: we are now very much in the present. The viral shrimp party, livestreaming Kalina, online banking, the epic of Gorgug building a cell tower? this isn't john hughes 80s town anymore, this is now. (at least in Solace).

Junior year

almost everything in the trailer is about academia

we've got the cool doodles-in-the-margins style art and intro

in the interviews and BTS (so far), the cast have talked a lot about what they were like in high school (not the 80s)

and the precedent that The Seven set where the MacGuffin was getting their GED? It's time.

we're getting into what is actually hell about high school - the institution itself. the arbitrary standards that academia in the US holds, and how it leaves behind, punishes, and fails its students in its extremely important role of preparing them for life as an adult.

i could talk about this all day, but personally for me the quote from the trailer that shot me back to my junior year of high school was "You have perfect grades, and it still might not be enough for you to graduate"

riz's arc this season is shaping up to punch me in the academia trauma and personally i can't wait for the catharsis

Brennan has shown time and time again that he Gets and wants to tell stories about the ways in which the US education system affects, hurts, shapes, traumatizes, changes people, and how they survive and recover from it and make their own lives. I for one am so so ready to see that reflected with the bad kids.

[mhfkah]

Ur thoughts on how vivi write the sins?

I cringed alot when i ever see how asmoudes the sin of lust is written

And dont get me started on the"asmoudes can kick mammon ass bc unlike mammon asmoudes has something to fight for"is just ewwww

she chose favorites thats all im gonna say.

Great question— I have a LOOOT of thoughts on this topic. Warning for the incoming wall-of-text.

Mammon is the only good representation of his sin; I adore his character for it. The rest are incredibly lackluster and frustrating to watch. She attempts subverting your expectation with every single introduced sin thus far, showcasing that the embodiment of each of the seven deadly sins are actually the opposite!

Therein lies the issue; if everyone is ‘subversive’, no one is. It is no longer a clever slight pulled on the audience— it just becomes frustrating to watch. You cannot, by the rules of your own universe, claim that these are the literal incarnations of the seven DEADLY sins, and have them act nothing like their sin in question. Beelzebub and Asmodeus are the most glaring of the sins, of which I believe constitutes an entire overhaul of their respective characters.

Let's start with Beelzebub— she is representative of the deadly sin of Gluttony. Let’s take a look at her debut episode, the addition that’s meant to establish the basic premise of her character. In ‘Queen Bee’, we see that she hosts parties for the denizens of hell (primarily hellhounds— why is that?) to indulge in. She supplies partygoers with an endless amount of confections and libations, encouraging them to continue in their mindless indulgence. Her peppy attitude and extroverted nature can easily influence over-consumption; befitting of her title.

So far, this sounds like a good representation of Gluttony. So, what exactly is my problem?

The problem begins first with her design; It is a shoddy representation of what it is she is meant to be. I emphasize that these are The Seven Deadly Sins. They are meant to portray each sin to its most grievous degree. It's what is to become of you, should you fall too far into each.

Does this scream gluttony incarnate? Someone gluttonous to the deadliest degree?

When I look at this image, all I see is a design made before considering the concept itself. It reads more as a design Viv got attached to and wanted to put into the show regardless of circumstance. It raises many questions, such as her leaning more towards the appearance of a fennec fox than a bee. Why is that? I mentioned an abundance of hellhound earlier, so maybe they're native to her ring? If that's the case, why isn't she based off of something a bit more... prehistoric? If hellhounds are made in her image, then why not go for something like a direwolf?

I'm getting ahead of myself— hellhounds being gluttony-borne is mere fan speculation. Them being native to the Gluttony Ring doesn't make sense anyhow. Her stomach bolstering her metabolism (another factoid provided through supplementary material) is a good idea, but it isn't made clear by her design, nor does the narrative support it. She could use her metabolism to trick those around her into overindulgence, insisting to partygoers that she is gluttony, and that overconsumption hasn't wracked her body, so they should all over-indulge too! Something, anything? I'm begging for anything.

Speaking of the narrative— let's get into her personality. She is earnestly kind and dissuades denizens of gluttony from... overconsumption to the point of self-destruction. It is clear that her kind demeaner is genuine, but why? Why does the deadly embodiment of gluttony not like seeing her partygoers indulge to the point of self-destruction? She cannot be referred to as such if her actions are quite literally contradictory to her title. Her character, alongside her headache-inducing design, makes her frustrating to watch on-screen. She is not gluttony incarnate; she's just your run-of-the-mill party girl.

Let's move on to Asmodeus. He is representative of the deadly sin of Lust. Unlike Beelzebub's introductory episode, I think 'Ozzie's' does a great job at establishing this this man is lust incarnate. His musical number shames Moxie for daring to sing about sentimentality in his presence, and revels int he fact Stolas shattered his family to indulge in his lustful fantasies. However, his song in season 1's finale are where my praises end. While his number does a great job showcasing that he is a very lust-oriented man, I cannot say the same for his design.

I'm at a bit of a loss for words here. What exactly about this design is lustful? The fact that there's... approximately three hearts present in the entirety of it? Is he supposed to look like the 'flames of passion?' The angel and demon on his shoulder rationalizing his lustful feelings? But that's just an assumption; what exactly here evokes lust? Frankly, I think it'd have been a much better decision to merge the characters of Asmodeus and Valentino together. Keep the name and personality but use Valentino's design + introduce more abrasive elements from him.

Valentino's design is a far better representation of lust. The constant heart motif, the intimidation factor, the outfit itself: all better representations of lust. This is a man that looks insidious, libidinous... and we know from his portrayal that he is. His whole life is his sex-based empire, and nothing comes between that. His lust drives him to disregard the consent of others and does whatever he must to satiate it. That sounds like a much better portrayal of the sin of lust, yes?

Design aside, what other problem do I have with him if I've already stated I think his introduction was great? It's the fact that his portrayal in following episodes runs contrary to everything we know about both his sin and character. I'm not going to go in-depth here about his relationship with Fizz as I believe that warrants a whole post on its own. What I will say is that showing him in a sickeningly sweet relationship where sex is not the focus negates the 'embodiment of lust' statement from his last appearance. He cannot be lust incarnate if the most important thing in his life is treating his romantic partner with utmost respect and disregarding sexual urges towards said partner to maintain his version of healthy. This is the opposite of lust. With added context from the episodes in season two, this is just a normal person attempting to engage in a normal relationship. It just doesn't work.

I think Satan as Wrath is... not so good, either. The embodiment of sin, feeling it necessary to... get an anger management coach! That's so subversive and clever, Viv! Are you getting tired of me saying subversive yet? I'm getting tired of her trying to subvert me. Overall, I think (from what's been shown to us thus far), the sins are a confusing and contradictory mess. Their designs aren't stellar, and they aren't fitting of the 'deadly sin' title. Nothing they do is emblematic of someone so thoroughly ensnared in a sin it's become fatal, and that is the problem.

[fafefae]

on the topic of alastor's hatred for vox vs alastor's hatred for lucifer, there's actually a HUGE difference. one is a hatred based in mutual respect and spite (some may call it rivalry, others, kismesissitude), but the other one is just pure unhealthy toxic hatred.

here's my thoughts on alastor's reasoning behind why he hates lucifer, and also some speculation on why alastor seemed so insistent on calling himself charlie's dad when that's so wildly out of character for him in the context of the theory that lilith is the one holding alastor's leash. his relationship (as in, his interactions) with lucifer are not a personal choice; this has his own soul on the line with lilith involved, and it puts him on edge. he's extremely manipulative in "hell's greatest dad" and for the entire rest of the episode too.

but enough about that, in this post im gonna look at alastor and vox, because unlike alastor and lucifer singing "hell's greatest dad", (in which alastor is genuinely fighting to push lucifer out of charlie's life and to keep him gone for ulterior reasons), alastor makes an effort to meet vox as an equal while singing "stayed gone", pushing and allowing vox to push back. his relationship with vox is a personal choice he continues to make.

because by the time vox realizes alastor's back, alastor has been back for a week, and yet it's only when vox announces it on TV that alastor decides to do his first radio broadcast since his return. the radio demon, waiting to do something he loves that he hasn't done in seven years? but that's what he did, alastor waited for vox to initiate something via TV broadcast before jumping in with a radio broadcast.

"did anybody miss him? did anybody notice?"

vox seems really desperate to dismiss how much alastor's return doesn't bother him, how much he doesn't care about where alastor's been, and how much better he's been doing without alastor,

"while he hid in radio, we've pivoted to video!" ... "hell's been better since he split, where's he been, who gives a shit?!"

which REALLY sounds like someone who's been rejected and is bitter about it. and when alastor sings his verses later in the song, that's actually exactly what he says!

"and here's the sugar on the cream, he asked me to join his team! i said no, and now he's pissy, that's the tea!"

alastor REJECTED vox's offer to be part of the Vees, but then alastor seems to have no trouble meeting vox on his own turf. in fact, he seems to get some enjoyment out of riling vox up, to the point where alastor pretty much admits he kept tabs on vox while he was gone those seven years.

"is vox insecure, pursuing allure? flitting between this fad and that, is nothing working? every day, he's got a new format!"

alastor finds this rivalry with vox enjoyable. one could argue that vox is obsessed with alastor, but i'm gonna argue that the inverse is true as well. alastor is JUST AS OBSESSED with vox as vox is with him, and the proof is in the way alastor speaks.

"instead of a clout-chasing mediocre video podcast" ... "now he's pissy, that's the tea!"

those are MODERN SLANG PHRASES. one of alastor's biggest character traits is that he despises modernity, or really, anything that came after he died. and YET, he updated his slang to not only keep up with vox, but meet him as an equal on vox's turf. "see? i can do it too."

and vox does meet him back! the instrumental of "stayed gone" starts off with some electro technical modern sounds (vox's sounds), but when vox opens up the rest of the song to address alastor in his broadcast, it switches to a big band jazzy sound that's extremely reminiscent of the 1920s-1930s, aka, vox is singing a song that's backed by something that is alastor's theming. this is vox meeting alastor. "see? i can do that too."

because at the end of it all, they're actually both the same kind of demon; they're both focused on entertainment, which truly makes them equals. it's just how they both go about it that makes them different.

vox's domain extends over modern entertainment and two of the biggest entertainment industries (adult entertainment and pop-culture) are already in his pocket. the real leader of the Vees is vox (not velvette, as much as she likes to believe she is). but vox wants all of the entertainment domain under his control; for all that vox makes fun of alastor, he still asked alastor to join his team, because radio and podcasts are entertainment, and more importantly, they're sections of the entertainment domain that alastor will never give up.

vox will never stop chasing after alastor, but alastor enjoys that. he enjoys having something vox will never have, and he enjoys that it makes him equal and relevant to vox. and as much as vox proclaims he'll make alastor wish he'd stayed gone, he knows very well he can't control alastor, and alastor knows this very well too.

and that's what makes him so alluring to vox! vox is used to being able to control people! he easily calms valentino down, he easily hypnotizes the masses, but alastor? vox knows damn well that alastor is his equal. and alastor knows damn well that vox is his equal.

"oh, this will be fun."

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 2/18/2025

much like phil, i feel like i cannot quite ever get physically comfy this week. something is always not quite right.

listening: god save the queens by vienna vienna

reading: love's harvest by peggy j herring

watching: cinderella

playing: pokemon

making: return of the baby blanket

listening

im going to start out a little bit mean and say that this self-described glimmer rock song, God Save The Queens by Vienna Vienna, really shone in the ten-second social media clips i saw of its live version. the actual studio version sucks so much. and even the full version of the live version, i want it to me slightly different but in a way i cannot articulate. i am excited to see if other people start covering this in fun ways and maybe it'll be the rare song where i like the cover much more than the original.

I saw a man out in Hollywood He carried a sign that said he hated me I said, "Please, get in line" He stopped to ask me a question He said, "Do you know Christ?" I told him, "Maybe I do, does she work the nights?" He said, "No, I mean Jesus" I said, "That guy was tight But I'm not living in a city built upon your lies" He tried to save me, but somebody already did last night They said their name was Alex, baby, and they showed me the light

like here's the studio version. give us nothing i guess??? i think if you are going to sell merch with GOD SAVE THE F*GS censored out maybe you should say that in the studio version of your song. this is probably a label decision but i want this song to be about 15% less corporate sponsor of a pride parade than it is. i feel like this song got heavily edited from a first draft and i would have liked to hear that probably much angrier first draft. hell of a hook though.

-

reading

this gay and/or lesbian romance and/or erotica project is turning into a little bit of a slog, so with the gentle encouragement of @sybilius going "what if you read good books you enjoyed?" going forward we are going to try a novel of dubious quality from my shelf and an acclaimed queer novel from history in the hopes that one of them will be tolerable. so next week we have the dubious pairing of a mob girlfriend in WITSEC romantic thriller from my shelf, and Fried Green Tomatoes At The Whistle Stop Cafe has just come off hold.

last week's assigned book was Heart on Fire, which was supposed to be even!! better!!! than Naiad Press's previous bestseller Curious Wine by Katherine V Forrest. so of course we had to detour to Curious Wine, which had a very short hold time.

reader, i did not finish this book. seven (7!) different women are introduced in the first chapter with almost no physical or clothing descriptions. they are all extremely mean to each other in the way older women who are dissatisfied with their life often sabotage all their relationships. i didn't have it in me to make a cheat card for myself with who the fuck each woman was, bc i expected somewhat lighter going in a contemporary romance with no extra genres tacked on top.

i am glad i did not continue bc while reading reviews everyone mentioned the Graphic On-Page Sexual Assault??? and this is still somehow every older lesbian's favorite book??? truly the times have changed.

Deep in the heart of France's majestic wine country, the sun drenched hills and lush vineyards of the Jeton family estate seem like the perfect setting for a passionate affaire de Coeur. But the life of workaholic winemaster, Nicole Jeton, is anything but romantic. From one harvest to the next, she runs the world-renowned winery, cares for her invalid father, and bails her no-good brother out of trouble—never stopping long enough to consider her own needs and desires. Until she meets the lovely Camille Cartier...

thank you girls. Love's Harvest by Peggy J Herring is one of the books acquired by Bella when they bought out part of Naiad Press. originally published in 1997, this 156p book was reprinted in 2007 with no additional changes or author's notes. it is the same quality as all the Bella reprints: a kind of terrible to hold perfect-bound softcover. i am beginning to suspect i simply do not vibe with the naiad and/or bella publishing market. i may not be their intended reader. im not really sure who their intended reader is, except maybe the 1997/2007 version of people who patiently comb through self-published kindle ebooks? what is the point of having a physical press and an editor if you can't make the line breaks and the quotation marks correct?

i couldn't find out much about Herring except that she died last summer and was part of her own tuesdaypost endeavor:

To further enhance communication within the women's community, [WomanSpace San Antonio] newsletter staff initiated a regular event known as Tuesday Night for discussing topics affecting women's lives. Topics ranging from real estate law to rape/incest were prepared for each Tuesday session. As ties to related community resources and events increased, the Tuesday Night events were superseded in 1995 by other events and meetings for the lesbian and gay community.

i did not like this book. such a wild amount of somewhat disjointed events take place during this novel and i really wish it was good. there is a for-real ghost, her great aunt killed by her grandfather and everyone just kind of shrugged about it??? that can dramatically interact with physical objects and STOPS A MURDER??? people are so calm about this ghost as a daily fact of life when there is exorcist level shit going on in the foreground. nicole has to cancel one of their weekend getaways bc the ghost is simply too on one and she can't figure out how to explain the ghost to camille, a presumably more normal outsider who presumably did not grow up with a ghost. the ghost is not the focal point of this book but it is by far the most interesting thing in the book.

this book felt like a barely fleshed outline. they go here. they do this. they see that. here is a great example of a section where i would have loved more elaboration in literally every sentence. the build up to this call and the call itself could have been a full chapter instead of half a page.

the least amount of dialogue i have maybe ever read in a book, and even fewer thoughts or feelings or interiority. the sex scenes read like stage direction. which is crazy bc they start fucking on page 42 and keep fucking every time they meet. they do NOT waste any time which was really refreshing. if only it was hot.

things mostly seem to happen to vineyard owner nicole— taking care of her dad (who dies quite early in the book) and the vineyard, her brother randomly shows up instead of her summoning him back to get some emotional closure (he doesn’t even show up for their father’s funeral), her gay bestie summons camille back after the third act breakup instead of nicole doing any emotional work and reaching out herself. everyone has at maximum one thing going on at a time that is neatly wrapped up before the next thing happens.

i think the 3.3 on goodreads is overly kind, but people seem to really love her other books so what do i know. maybe all these books ended up at the thrift bc their original owner was unlucky enough to somehow pick the worst book from each author and had to unload them.

-

watching

Cinderella (1950, dir. Geronimi, Jackson, and Luske) was on in the background while i was wrangling my bestie's children. probably the least scary (if you are not quite six or not quite two) disney princess movie. the bubble sequence makes me insane in a good way. i think this sort of thing is so easily replicated digitally that it looks unimpressive in 2025 but this shit is 75 years old!!! we were nineteen years away from landing on the fucking moon with a computer outpaced by my current microwave!!!

-

playing

having a real brain time with pokemon. i was gently bullied into playing the app two weeks ago by my best friend's husband after trying and failing multiple times to get into the actual video games, but after getting the 45 wins i needed to get the fanciest current event emblem i went ok great! i won pokemon! i am done with pokemon! and have sort of mentally checked it off in my head. anyway i loved my murkrow/toxicroak combo. loved to flip a coin. loved my darkness deck apparently.

the deck autobuild feature is really great bc i am able to basically hold my own while knowing nothing about pokemon other that what ive culturally osmosed. im assuming this is a pretty fun app if you like this sort of thing and your brain chemicals are balanced without outside assistance.

-

making

the baby i started this mint green baby blanket for is about to turn two in a couple weeks. better late than absolutely never i guess. my original notes called for 10 repeats but i think we're going to up that to 12, just finished the ninth repeat.

[mekochansblog]

hiii I just want to ask! this is my first time asking! so what if the umbrella academy is caught and surrounded by people with serious weapons. (Is it okay if Y/n is the guardian of the multiverse for their power?) And Y/n says something along the lines of "Hey, Hey maybe you could take me and leave them? I mean.. I AM the guardian of the multiverse. i could do anything to stop you if you dont erase me." And the men put down their weapons and negotiate. but when they do so, Y/n freezes them and skips along. and maybe one of the siblings (Not five) asks "Shit. i thought for a second you might sacrifice yourself for us." and Y/n replies

"For you dumbasses? Never." but then points at five behind her and says "But for THAT dumbass? anytime." And them maybe five smirks a litte

Uni.. what?

Five Hargreeves x reader

- multiverse, peter Parker is mention lol, slight curse

IM BAAACKKKKKK!!

Five knew he was fucked the moement he saw the commission coming out of nowhere. He was fucked and so was his family. Who the hell was going to rescue him when he couldn’t even use his powers. He was trapped, hands behind his back and so was his family. Allison was the only one with tape in her mouth to not use her powers. Five wanted to laugh. He wanted to laugh until he couldn’t breathe. First of all Five didn’t even know where his wife was. Second of all the handcuffs they put on him and his family were for some reason; handcuffs that deactivated his powers. Lastly these people that look like the commission but are actually from another dimension wanted to know where you are. Five of course didn’t know where you were, he instinctly remembers you telling him you'll be going to A dimension he can’t specifically remember which one because they needed your help. He didn’t know what that dimension was.

“Number Five Hargreeves, fifth child out of the seven child, where is what they call on Earth your wife Y/N Hargreeves?”

Five sighed, they’ve been asking this same stupid question over and over. He was tired of it, his eyes were dozing and trying not to sleep. He tried to keep his head up but keeping him and his family for two hours late at night gives him the tiredness. They have tried asking his family but they don’t even know your whereabouts. He did remember what you told him in the morning.

You both woke up. You were the one that got up to go make breakfast for both you and Five. You felt hands around your waist and giggled while making coffee.

¨Hello darling, how was your morning?¨ you ask him, knowing he slept really well since he was hugging you at night. You felt him lightly squeeze you and then he let go and sat down on the chair to the dining table.

“I slept like a baby thanks to you, how about you darling?¨ He questioned you, you smiled and headed his way to give him his coffee in his favorite mug. He gave your jawline a kiss and pulled you to sit on his lap. You sighed and bliss and looked at him with loving eyes.

“I slept wonderfully thanks to you.” His striking emerald eyes looked at you; the same look he gave you when he asked you to marry him. You smile lovingly at him and ruffled his hair out of playfulness. He groaned playfully and smacked your hand lightly to not hurt you. You laughed and hugged him.

You both feel a strong presence in front of you both and turn to it, it’s a portal, you get up ready to fight whatever comes out until you see a familiar face. You look at the person in confusion. 

“Pete, what are you doing here? The reason I gave you the watch wasn’t for you to tra-" "I know I know but I need your help, ummm ... .so I might have, maybe, sort of, kind of, opened a portal in my dimension ... .maybe more than one…”

You blinked and looked at him. You sigh and pinched the bridge of your nose. “Peter Benjamin Parker I swear to god….” Peter gave you a nervous smile. You sigh and mention for him to move to the side so you can open a portal to his dimension.

Once you open a new portal you look at Five and give him a kiss. “I'll be back, I promise I just have to help the kid. I'll have to take him to Earth 616-B he’s an idiot.” “Hey!” 

You turned around to stare at Peter and playfully glare at him. “I don't want to hear it from you right now pete.” you grabbed his ear and waved at your husband while finally leaving through the portal to Earth 616-B.

Yeah… Now he remembers Earth 616-B. Was he going to tell these weirdos? Fuck no. That was his wife. He was getting tired of being asked the same question and also them trying to torture him. He was ready to just knock himself out with Klaus’s shoulder but he heard a familiar sound. He looked up and saw a portal opening. He sighed in relief, closing his eyes for a moment. He knew it was you. You came out with new clothing on yourself and weapons. You close the portal and look around. You sighed and looked up, probably praying for someone, anyone. When you were coming back you didn’t expect for your husband and your family in law to be tied up like fish.

“Hey now, hey now maybe you could take me and leave them? I mean… I AM the guardian of the multiverse. I could do anything for you guys if you don't kill me?” You slightly smirk. You waved your hand and opened a small portal to show them the different dimensions. The alien commission men looked at each other and nodded their heads. 

“Fine, we can come to a conclusion.” One of them said, you nodded your head and they started asking you questions. Your face turned to a bored face and you froze them. You groaned and looked at the family, your head tilted and you looked at them with an annoyed face. Klaus looked around and sighed dramatically.

“ Well shit! And here I thought for a second you were going to sacrifice yourself to us! Five would have been devastated if you did. The little shit finally gets married and his wife sacrifices her life for us!” Klaus exclaimed looking at Five with a smirk. Five sighs deeply and looks at him with a glare.You smirk and scoff.

“ For all of you guys dumbasses? Never in a million years.” You then point at your husband.”But for THAT dumbass? Anytime. I'll give my life for him.” Five laughs and smirks at you. You shake your head at the family.

“Okay but can you untie us please?” Klaus whines.

[fraudulent-cheese]

Jumble of Total Drama contestants with the Papa's Freezeria Deluxe orders im assigning them, Part 2

Beth: Wanted both a drink that shared elements with Lindsay's, while being a smaller, more yellow drink, as well as referencing her growing up on a farm via the worms + peep + animal cracker chunks.

Has Beth canonically ever had mango before? Because she'd like mango.

Cameron: Pictured here wouldn't be his first sundae order as it would probably be either a very wild combination of flavors or the most boring ice cream to ever exist. Instead i think this is the order he'd settle on!

Some harder candy chunks and taffy are included because he'd like chewing on them, and they both come from the Big Top Carnival holiday, which could very much have been his first carnival.

Ella: Pink. loads of pink. Neapolitan also seems like a flavor she'd enjoy, and the toppings are all inspired by her love of fairy tales <3 i can't decide weither she'd eat the meeps or just keep them. or give them to someone else...

Eva: Just the Buttery Birchberry Special. Like this is so her.

Gwen: Very purple sundae. Mostly berry flavored, but not the cherry/straw/rasp berries as i doubt she'd particularly care for them. I also included a couple halloween options because she's goth and it fit her.

Izzy: Inspired by Calypso Cooler. Citri-Shock syrup and new years toppings were REQUIRED for Izzy, they're honestly some of the first things i thought to include for her.

Sidenote, depending on how the Maui Meringue tastes i'd probably eat this

Kitty: Variant on the Truffle Bomb. God i wanted to include the new years whipped cream so badly, but the end result just didn't look as good as just a large cup Truffle Bomb! I mostly just added pretzels.

Lauren, aka Scary Girl: Inspired by Candy Concrete. If you can't tell i LOVE contrast. She'd love killing and eating the onion gummy. I can't see her liking anything akin to coffee or licorice, only extremely sour gummies. Or those acid Haribo candies.

Leonard: MAGIC POTION LOOKING ASS SUNDAE!!! The Citri-Shock syrup and Confetti Pie Tarts were a must, and so were the Lucky Sevens. Out of all the sundaes i've made for this little series, this one by far is the one most running off of vibes.

I do think Leonard would drink weird sodas if they looked like magic potions enough. Like you know those drinks with the edible glitter? Yeah he gets a kick out of those

Mike: Wanted something blue, but also a little out there, so the blue moon syrup was perfect. Did you know Portallini Feast is just italian: the holiday? kind of annoyed only two of the holiday ingredients really fit him. It could've been so funny.

Owen: Inspired by the Orange Roll Delight. Im lucky Maple Mornings is one of the holidays included in this game, because it gave me all i needed to canadian this sundae up >:p

I picked the smores chunks for the added texture that marshmallows on their own just wouldn't have.

Shawn: Inspired by Cookie Dough Delight. He'd like butterscotch and peanut butter. He'd like orange.

Sierra: CANDY AND RAINBOWS AND FUN!!! i almost gave her the rainbow syrup, but i found the cotton candy one simply looked better (and hell i think she'd like it more). The multiple drizzles are completely necessary or else she's simply not interested.

Sugar: This is most likely going to be the single ice cream were i'll be using anything from the 4th of july stand-in holiday, because she's very much a southern usamerican girlie. It's sweet and sugary, but very in-your-face about it, much like how Sugar is.

Zoey: This is the reason i couldn't give Mike more of the Portalini Fest toppings. the Spumoni syrup just fit Zoey's color scheme and tastes (it's usually chocolate-pistachio-cherry flavored) way more than Mike, same with the toppings. Very red and has leaves, works well for her!

Link to part 1!

[the-s1lly-corner]

A bandage scrap (Eyeless Jack x Reader) (Ending 4)

guys im not going to lie i had a blast writing this one! this ones really heavy on my take on jack so right out the gate im going to say that this might not be everyones cup of tea </3 though tbf if youve been reading my other writings of him youre already used to my interpretation on him so uhuhuhuh yeah notes: reader is gn, this is a slender mansion au but jack is still reclusive and keeps to himself, slight angst with comfort, no mouth to mouth kiss but there is a kiss dwdw cws: mentions of cannibalism- though does it count if jack doesnt count as a human depending on whos writing him/hj word count: 2k REMEMBER!! that there is a poll at the end to determine another ending!! we already did jeff, nina, and masky!

You reach your hand into the hat and pull out…

A scrap from a bandage. Unused, thankfully. Your eyes immediately snap up between both of the Jacks, either of them could have put it in- both wearing wrappings in at least one place on their bodies. Eyeless Jack lazily pushes himself to his feet before Jeff can even make a move towards him to yank him to his feet. The act of defiance seemed to tick the burned man off, who seemed way too eager to start manhandling people for the sake of ushering them down the hallway. 

Jack took a few steps away to the hallway, and when he didn’t hear you following after him he jerked his head- an invitation or demand for you to follow-

“Come on, let’s get this over with,” He muttered lowly, and he couldn’t sound anymore uninterested. 

With a slight dip of your head in acknowledgement- which you quickly realized he couldn’t see thanks to his back being towards you- you caught up with him with far too many eyes following your every movement. 

“Fuckin’ buzzkill,” You heard Jeff mutter as he walked to the opening of the hall and called out after you. “Seven minutes as soon as the door shuts!” 

Neither of you say anything.

Jack opened the door to the closet and stepped inside. You followed, the two of you still remaining silent even after you shut the door behind you. Jack walks to the back wall of the space, and leans against the wall. In the dim lighting, you can see him folding his arms over his chest. You lean against the door. 

The quiet continues for the next ten or so seconds, eating into the several minutes you were given alone with the man… creature… monster… demon…

You weren’t sure exactly what he was if you were being honest. 

But the point still stood, the air was thick with awkwardness and you didn’t know how to cut through it. 

“So…” You begin, but he doesn’t give you any response.

“You don’t seem like you wanted to play this game,” You added after a second to give Jack the chance to change his mind on his silence. “How come you put in the bandage?”

“Nina put it in,” He nearly growled. He took a moment to soften his voice. “I didn’t want to…” You can basically hear him shifting his jaw around behind his mask, “come down and… party… It was her idea, said it would be good to spend some time with everyone…” 

That sounded like her, in fact she had been pushy in asking you to come down and join everyone else downstairs for the night. 

You only hum, and look anywhere else but Jack. He was one of the most reclusive of all the people living here, perhaps Masky or Slenderman were close competition. Jack hardly left his room, and when he did you never caught him. He ate his meals in his room, or at least that’s what you thought the noises coming from the otherside of his door were. You couldn’t lie, you were shocked when you saw him downstairs tonight. 

Nina must have done… one hell of a job convincing him… unless she forcefully dragged him from his room. 

Your eyes darted to Jack’s claws, to which he immediately hid them by hiding them in his crossed arms. 

“Why not just leave the closet? I mean… well,” You start, the air still being nearly unbearable. Talking did nothing to ease the tension.

“It’s not like we’re going to kiss, unless you want that-” 

You snap your jaws shut and look down at your feet. Why did you say that? Why didn’t you hate those words as much as you felt you should? Why didn’t the idea seem so bad?

Would it be that bad?

“You wouldn’t like it, I taste horrible,” He said under his breath. He said something else, but you could hardly catch it as it slipped past his teeth… what kind of teeth did he have? You heard about the things he’s used them for… surely they’d be sharp?

You bat the thought away before it had the chance to shift into something else. 

“Why? Does your breath stink?” You tease.

Jack simply stares towards you, mask rendering him unreadable. 

“Tar?”

“Tar.” He said curtly. 

“Well I’m sure it doesn’t taste that bad, besides doesn’t it only drip from your eyes? I don’t think I’ve noticed it coming from the…” You point to your chin.

 “No, but sometimes it gets smeared around, what doesn’t leave the mask,” 

You offer a hum and press your palms against the door and push yourself off of it. You take a small step towards Jack, followed by another. As you closed the distance Jack made no move to keep you away. 

“Is that the only reason it’s not a good idea to kiss you?” You tilt your head to the side. Jack growled lowly in his chest… but it didn’t sound… hostile… 

“You’d risk getting bitten,” He said- this time the tone of his voice felt… different…

The tar mention seemed to be said casually, but this…

“I could be into that you don’t know if I’m not,” You joke, but he shakes his head. “You know I eat people, right? Do you really want a kiss from me?” 

You pause, and genuinely think about it. 

“I think Nina’s mentioned that you do it because you physically can’t eat anything else, and that you mostly target shitty people or something? At least when you can “help it”, whatever that means… Actually compared to the others here,” You start to go on a small tangent. He wasn’t the only person eating humans here, you could probably list at least two other people who at least snack on it. 

“Can’t lie and say the thought hasn’t at least crossed my mind, honestly if you’re down with sharing-” 

Jack cuts you off in a voice that reminds you of a bark. 

“I don’t want to eat- I don’t want to eat you!” He spits out, and finally leaves his position from the wall. 

Angry, exasperated, with… what you could only describe as an undertone of guilt, he takes a long hissing breath between his teeth. 

“Do you think I wanted this?” He huffed. “Do you think I wanted to leave my life behind and skip out- disown- ignore-” He struggles to find the word. “There’s so much I want to do that I can’t because I risk losing it and attacking anyone around me, do you know how much danger you’re in right now?”

You frown, and look away from him. This was such a large departure from the Jack that you were talking to just a minute or two ago- you had touched a tough topic, and continued to push it. 

You vaguely recall more details that Nina had told you in passing about her friend, and connected them with Jack’s outburst. 

“I don’t want to eat you,” repeats in your mind for a moment as everything seems to click. 

Did he mean you as in… generally… or you as in you? 

“If my teeth so much as nick you so many bad things could happen,” 

He had still been going on while you were thinking.

And you’re struck with an idea. 

“What if we kiss without…” You lift your hands together and mesh the fingers together. “You know?” 

The suggestion catches Jack off guard and he falls quiet. His breathing was deep and rough under his mask, it wasn’t loud but it was noticeable. It vaguely reminded you of an animal. 

You wondered if Jack thought the same about himself.

“You’re still on the kissing thing?” He asks, and he sounds much… less worked up, more confused than anything. 

You nod and smile up at him. “I mean, I’m okay not getting one if you aren’t interested- won’t let it hurt my ego, buuuuut…” You wink at him. “Humor my curiosity? Even if it’s not on the mouth?” 

He sighs, but he leans in closer to you. “Were you intending to kiss my mask?” He asked. 

“No, actually, I had another plan,” You smile. You wave your hand to motion for him to give you your space back. 

You close that hand into a fist and bring it to your mouth, and gently press your lips to it. Jack watched silently as you kissed your hand.  

“See? Like that, you go on and give it a try- hand skin is harder to break than mouth skin right?”

You weren’t entirely sure of that, but even if you were wrong Jack didn’t make a comment. The black sockets of his mask peer straight into you- eyes or not, he knew how to look at someone in a way that made the hairs on their body stand on end.

He reached a gray hand to his mask and pushed it up just enough to reveal his mouth. Just as you had thought, he has sharp teeth instead of… normal people teeth… 

“You didn’t need to take the mask off,”

“It’s not off,” He corrected. 

He wasn’t wrong, and you weren’t going to ruin the moment by arguing with him on specifics. You raise your fist closer to him and stopped a few inches away from his lips. To your surprise he gently clasped his hands around your hand and brought it closer. Each movement was careful and feather light, being extremely mindful of the blackened claws at the tips of his fingers. 

He hesitates for just a moment before he finally presses his lips to your skin.

And he was cold. Freezing, actually. All of him was cold, now that you were now more than aware of how his hands cupped you. His mouth feels awkward in how he pressed them to you, as if he didn’t know how to form them together or how much pressure to apply. You were tempted to ask if kissing was one of the things he had to leave behind but decided to keep silent out of fear that it would undo everything. 

It all only lasts a second before he’s returning your fist to you.

He didn’t break your skin- neither by claw nor by teeth. 

You offer him a smile. He pulls his mask down before you can see if he returned it. 

“See, that-” 

The door of the closet is swung open and light floods over the two of you. 

You hadn’t heard Jeff calling that time was almost up, or did he just not call it out? Regardless, you’re caught off guard while Jack remains completely unphased. 

“Alright, both of you- out-” Jeff scrapes his eyes over the two of you.

“Didn’t even do anything, huh? What’s the point of…” He huffs. Jeff leans in to you as you step out. “You know you can play multiple rounds, he thinks he’s above everyone. Shame that you had your fun spoiled-”

You wave him off, quieting him. Jeff finally walks away down the hall to start the second round of the game.

You find Jack walking a few feet in front of him, already beelinging for the stairs- most definitely making his way back to his room. You speed up to catch up to him, you didn’t care about rejoining the game now. 

You both take the first step together.

“We can do that again sometime, if you want… help you you know… feel more…” 

“Secure? Is that the right word? No.. confident? No wait that makes you sound shy,” 

Jack stares down at you again. 

“It’s your body you’re putting at risk,” He said softly, but it almost sounded… lighthearted. Or at least as much as he can get given his circumstances. You grin at the back of his head as he continues forward.

“Why not start now?” 

He falters on the step, face glued forward. 

It’s a long pause before he does anything, and when he does he simply jerks his head for you to follow.

Just as he had done when you drew his item.

[ev3rgreenxtrees]

,,Tattoo’’- C.S.

back to masterlist

synopsis: Chris and his girlfriend, Evelyn, are dared by Chris’ brothers Matt and Chris to get ‘matching’ tattoos, as punishment for loosing a challenge for their video.

pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Evelyn (she/her)

warnings: cussing, dirty jokes, suggestive content, getting a tattoo.

-

“No fucking way we lost ALL of those!” Chris’ jaw drops as he looks at his girlfriend, Evelyn, in shock.

“Well, you did! So now we get to choose your punishment!” Nick said, letting out a fake evil laugh.

They were in teams for a youtube video, Matt and his girlfriend- Layla- and Nick with Larray.

“Bitchhh i just got an idea!!” Larray giggled as he pulled all four of them in a huddle, Chris and Evelyn giving each other worried looks.

The couple heard a few giggles from the group, before they broke apart.

“Okay, so,” Layla started. “you have two options. one, you get ‘matching’ tattoos. they could be something small and simple, or something that doesn’t even really go together- like a sun and a moon. that way, the tattoos even work by themself. two, you guys take us all on a all expenses paid trip to the Bahamas AND a cruise. Meaning, you’d pay for the plane tickets, hotel rooms, food, cruise tickets, everything.” Layla smirked. “So, which is it?” she asked.

“what! thats not fair!” chris pouted. the boy had money, but he sure as hell doesn’t want to waste it all on a trip. He also has no tattoos, and being honest, he didnt really have any desire to get one.

“yes it is! you lost bitch!” Larray laughed, and Chris groaned.

Evelyn already had a few tattoos, like Matt, Nick, and Larray, so she was definitely leaning more towards the tattoo option.

“Chris, how ‘bout we just do the tattoo? something badass, or small; so you wont regret it? Its WAY cheaper than a trip to the Bahamas alone.” Chris rolled his eyes.

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” he shook his head, and the group cheered.

“well, there you have it! Chris and Ev will be getting tattoos! maybe that will be next weeks vlog. Hell, maybe even me and Matt will get one.” Nick shrugged.

“YOU REALLY WANNA GET MATCHING TATTOOS?!” Evelyn yelled, grabbing Chris’ arm in excitement.

“Yeah, yeah.. i guess. i swear though, im not doing anything stupid. no cringey shit.” Chris fake gagged, and Evelyn rolled her eyes.

“oh, shut up you big baby. Ill go look for some ideas! Layla, Larray, come with me!” Evelyn rushed off to somewhere else in the house, Larray and Layla following close behind.

“hey! im gay too y’know!” Nick called out after them, but shrugged and walked over to the camera.

“fuck.” Chris grumbled as he sat on the couch.

“whats up?” Matt asked his younger brother as he sat next to him.

“what do you thinks up, matt. I have to get a tattoo,” Chris sighed. “man, that shits gonna hurt so bad, and i really dont wanna do it.” Chris whined, putting his head in his hands. Being honest, the pain was the least of his worries. What if Evelyn ever dumps him? Every time he would look at the tattoo, he’d be reminded of her. But he couldn’t say that.

“hey, its no big deal.” Matt reassured his brother, placing his hand on his back. “They dont hurt bad, i promise. Ev won’t pick anything you wont like, and i doubt she’d pick something big, so you wont have to be there for long. and hey, we can make the appointment, and if you really dont wanna do this, we can cancel it. i dont think the fans will be upset.” Matt nodded, and chris sat up.

“yeah, your right. ill be okay. thanks, matt.” Chris nodded up at his brother, who flashed him a smile and walked over to Nick with the camera.

Chris heard his and Matt’s girlfriends squealing, and Larry chuckling. God, Evelyn warmed his heart so much. He wouldn’t say it, but he loves her. They’ve been dating for only a few months, maybe five or six, and Matt and Layla have been dating for around seven or eight months.

“Chris!” The brown haired boy heard his girlfriend yell, as the three of them bursted out of the hallway.

“hm?” Chris looked up at her.

“Whats wrong, baby?” Her smile quickly faded and her eyebrows furrowed, as she sat next to him. She placed her hand on his leg, and he looked at her.

He made eye contact with her, and leaned in for a small kiss.

“Oh. Was that all, silly?” Evelyn giggled. Chris shook his head and wrapped both arms around Evelyn, as he pulled her into him.

“your my everything,” he spoke. “I think i love you, Ev..” he looked at the girl who’s head was on his chest.

“really..?” she asked, as chris held his breath. He nodded. “Oh my god, chris!! I love you too!” she laughed and pulled him into a loving kiss. Their lips moved in sync before Chris pulled away.

“I’m glad,” he smiled, his face red, as he placed his forehead against Evelyn’s.

The whole house cheered and laughed, congratulating the two as if they just got proposed.

“See, Ev! I told you!” Layla jumped, rushing over to give her best friend a hug.

“Yeah, yeah!” Evelyn rolled her eyes and got off of her boyfriend.

“Proud of you, man.” Matt nodded at his younger brother, as they did their ‘secret’ handshake.

“thanks.” Chris smiled, and Evelyn whipped back around.

“Wait! I forgot to show you the tattoo!” Evelyn quickly sat back down beside Chris, as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer. “What do you think about these ones?” She asked, showing him her phone.

The image was of spiders, seemingly black widows.

“holy fuck! Those are dope!” Chris laughed, grabbing the phone to show nick and matt, who were standing behind the couch.

“Thats sick!” Nick laughed, pointing at the phone.

“See, man, told ya she wouldn’t pick somethin’ ya didn’t like.” Matt shrugged, and Chris glared at him.

-A WEEK LATER-

“ready?” the tattooist asked as she held the needle close to a worried Chris, his girlfriends’ hand in his. She had already gotten hers done, along with the rest of the group getting tiny ones, Chris being the last one left.

“mhm,” he nodded, as he felt the needle touch his skin. “ow ow ow-“ he squeezed Evelyn’s hand, as she kissed it gently.

“you’re doing great, baby.” She reassured him, as nick held the camera aiming at him.

“mhm..” he grunted.

“bet thats what he sounds like in bed,” Larray joked, as Chris and Evelyn gasped.

“Larray!” Evelyn yelled, and everyone, besides chris, laughed. He found it funny as fuck, he was just too occupied by the needle poking in and out of his skin.

About twenty minutes into the tattoo, chris spoke up again.

“it doesn’t hurt bad anymore,” he sighed, as he slowly let go of Evelyn’s hand. Matt and Layla were talking, and Nick and Larray were, so Evelyn just patiently waited by her boyfriends side.

“see?” Evelyn joked, and chris mocked her.

“yeah, yeah. whatever.” he scolded.

The group waited for around an hour, and Chris’ tattoo was finally done.

He slowly stood up, and admired it in the mirror.

“This looks sick as fuck,” he smiled, pulling Evelyn by his side so he could see the matching tattoos.

He pulled out his phone, and snapped a picture.

“this ones’ goin on the photo dump,” he said as he gently kissed Evelyn’s shoulder.

-

@bernardenjoyer

[silvershadow1711]

i cant think of any asks but im crying dying screaming for haley (bsh) content😭

Y'know, I sent ConcreteParasite an ask wondering how Haley's ability worked and they never answered, so... fuck it. Y'all are getting my headcanon for it.

So, no surprise, but I'm a massive Animorphs fan. That was my childhood obsession (Tobias is definitely at least part of why I have such a soft spot for wet, pathetic white boys). So I imagine Haley's transformation work in a similar manner, but with different rules and restrictions.

-They have to absorb the dna of an animal they want to turn into, which would not be by touch but usually ingesting some part of them (typically fur). There is also a set limit on how many species dna they can store at any given time, about seven or eight. If they want to turn into a new animal, the new dna will override the oldest in their... bank, I guess you could call it.

It's actually functions similarly to Ray's ability, with key differences being that Ray's "bank" doesn't seem to have an upper limit and Haley's ability doesn't require killing their target (if you've read my fics, that means that Haley's ability doesn't come with the built-in battery that Ray's does).

-There is a limit to how much their biology can change when they transform. Their skeleton can't shift to the outside, they can't turn their endothermic metabolism into an exothermic one... meaning they're limited to transforming into mammals and birds.

-If they want to use any of their animal forms on a heist or something, they have to practice beforehand. There is no transfer of instincts; the first time Haley turned into a bird, they couldn't fly. Hell, they could barely breathe since they had suddenly lost their diaphraghm. It took a lot of practice for them to be able to do things like scale a five-story building as a cat.

-While there's no time limit in that "if you stay in a morph for more than two hours you're trapped as that animal", there is a time limit for how long Haley's body can hold a morph. It's size based. Larger animals require more energy to maintain and thus, have a shorter limit. They could stay as a house cat for several hours easily, but something like a tiger could only be maintained for 20-30 minutes tops. They won't die if they go over that limit (well, not FROM the transformation)- it basically just puts them in a diabetic coma. All abilities require energy to use, and to date, Ray is the only person capable of storing/using energy that isn't produced by his metabolism.