#im going to stop here but i have SO much thoughts
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reader going through perv!matt’s journal
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“i’ll be back in a sec, i just need to run downstairs and help chris with something really quick.”
that’s what matt told you over ten minutes ago, and he’s still gone. you were over at the triplets place hanging out with nick, when matt insisted he show you both his new pc set up. it only took nick five minutes to be over it, but you felt bad when you saw matt’s defeatist expression after nick went back to his room. you decided to stay, but soon after matt abandoned you to go do something with chris.
you could’ve gone back upstairs with nick, but you let your curiosity get the best of you, and somehow you were going through matt’s bedside drawers, seeing what he had in there.
you knew matt had a thing for you, he made it very, very clear. although those feelings weren’t really reciprocated, it was fun to tease him. like, really fun.
before you could stop yourself, the leather binding of matt’s journal was in your hands, itching to be opened and read. you thumbed through the pages, reading matt’s chicken scratch handwriting while he wrote about whatever. you didn’t want to be too invasive, but his journal piqued your interest a lot. you wondered if he ever wrote about you, or if he only kept those thoughts in his head.
your eyes skimmed up and down the pages, nothing really standing out to you until you saw your name.
today y/n came over to see nick. she had on this rly short skirt, i think they were going out to a bar or something later. i don’t really care. i overhear her talking to nick about the guys she gets with. i could be so much better than them. i would make her feel so good, where she’d be begging me for more. god her moans are probably so fucking pretty.
your cheeks got hot as they blushed a deep red, fingers flipping to the next entry.
it’s been a few days since i saw y/n, i miss her so much. i’ve probably touched myself to her more times than i can count in the last day or two. i don’t know what it is with her, but she just gets me so worked up. she doesn’t even have to do anything and i’ll literally get hard from her. a couple weeks ago we were at her place and i heard her in the shower. it turned me on so much i couldn’t handle it. i want her so bad.
there’s gotta be something seriously deranged about me. every time that y/n sleeps over here, i always sneak up to nicks room and take a pair of her panties. she has to have noticed by now. i can’t help it though. i use them to get myself off. sometimes she has really pretty lace ones, other ones are really really skimpy. i don’t care though. i wonder what they’d look like on her. she’d probably think im a fucking creep if she ever really found out. i wonder what she’d do.
at this point, your stomach was doing somersaults, and your thighs were pressed together, trying to relieve the ache that had grown in your cunt. maybe it was weird what he was doing, but the level of obsession was turning you on. bad.
you were quick to find a pen somewhere in the bedside drawer, popping the cap off and scribbling underneath the entry in your loopy handwriting.
you naughty boy. you didn’t learn that stealing was wrong? i would probably punish you and not let you cum. i would tease you, get you all wound up and make you hold it. id use my pretty pink panties around your cock to get you off and let you cum in them after edging you for so long. maybe i’ll use my hands too, or my mouth if you’re really good for me.
you grinned to yourself as you shut the journal, drawing your bottom lip in between your teeth before returning the notebook to its rightful place, exactly how you found it.
you knew that matt wouldn’t do anything about it, either. he would see the note, and probably get off to it a million times, but never actually reach out to you. until then, he’d just have to learn how to keep pleasuring himself alone.
© mattscoquette | taglist
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𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬. ⋆˚꩜。 inspired by this fic from my girl @st7rnioioss ♡︎♡︎ perv!matt is soooo back i miss that freak
#© mattscoquette#blurbs ♡ ˚₊‧#˳༄ ₊ perv!matt ୨ৎ#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matt stuniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo x you#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo smut#sturniolo imagine
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SPOILERS FOR S2 EP7 OF SCHOOL SPIRITS
Mr. Martin rowing away with Janet is so ominous…
His acting is SO great. His mannerisms and the way he speaks is so perfect. “We deserve this.”
“It makes me sad.. That we couldn’t have gone to any of these places together.” NO one can tell me Maddie doesn’t like Wally as much as he likes her. That girl is in love.
I genuinely didn’t expect everyone to be right about Yuri and Charley! They recreated that pottery making scene!! I did not expect them to get freaky, but i’m NOT complaining.
IM GONNA SCREAM. The way Wally hooked his finger in her bra strap??? My heart is actually beating so fast..I know i’ve said this before, but the tongue is INSANE.
I love how the ghosts are having sex with each other while the living kids are literally crashing out.
I really wish we saw Quinn going into her scar for the first time… I really wonder what it would’ve looked like.
IM ACTUALLY CRYING. I did NOT expect to see Milo’s bare ass today, but DAMN… My jaw dropped to the FLOOR.
“It’s kind of hard not to think about everything that’s waiting for me here.” Ugh, don’t make me cry today PLEASE.
I’m a little surprised there was no talk of Maddie begin a virgin, since that seemed fairly important to her in the first season. I’m not complaining at all though, because WOW..
“Oh, god! I’m gonna need to guys to peel yourselves off each other and come down to the library stat.” The way Maddie nor Wally didn’t even TRY to cover up is killing me. They genuinely don’t GAF.
They were planning on torturing the other ghosts?? This just keeps getting worse and worse the more we learn.
“I’m glad it was you, too.” Please don’t make me like these two together…
‘Notice of suspension’??? God, i feel so awful for Simon. I never even thought of how this affected him. He’s missed so many classes countless times.. What about his future? He flunked that one college admission interview, too. If anything bad happens to Simon, i’m throwing a tantrum.
Oh my god… Poor Rhonda. I love her so much. Knowing she was alone with Janet and Mr. Martin for so long is just so horrifying.
I didn’t expect Dawn to be so involved! I love how she’s really not stupid or airheaded. She’s just a little eccentric. I’m so glad we got another scene with her.
This show is honestly a horror movie at this point… ‘Mr. Anderson’ being soaking wet, covered in mud with his head gushing blood walking around with a fireplace poker is terrifying. My heart is beating so fast.
Mr. Martins manipulating Janet is infuriating. I don’t even have the words to express how much I hate him.
Poor Quinn! I feel so bad. “I died knowing that everyone was mad at me.” My baby 😞💔💔.
“You can’t just leave me now.” STOP. I love them so much it hurts so bad.
I really didn’t expect Simon and Maddie to argue but it was bound to happen.
“Is this because of Wally?” I called it. I fucking called it. I KNEW this was going to come up. Kristian’s acting always gets me. I love Simon so much.
Patrick Gilmores acting is amazing. He somehow even sounds like Mr. Martin and it’s terrifying. Also, he’s lowkey hot and i’m not sorry for saying that.
Mr. Martin forcing Janet into the hellscape made me sick to my stomach.
This fandom is so smart it blows my mind. Everyone said Mr. South must know more about the scars than we had thought. I kind of thought he was just being melodramatic, but the more we saw the scars I changed my mind.
Everyone was right about the scar being Mr. Martin’s. This makes a whole lot more sense. The woman could’ve been his finance, considering the fact that we haven’t seen her before.
This episode was genuinely insane. I still haven’t even fully processed anything.
#i’m still reeling#from that ass shot#school spirits#milo manheim#school spirits season 2#wally clark#maddie nears#split river high#peyton list#charley school spirits#mally#spoilers#rhonda school spirits#quinn school spirits#yuri school spirits#patrick gilmore
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When Cameras Stop Rolling | psh by the lovely Rei!! I'm so excited to read it :))
Before I start I wanna say how genuinely excited I am
that reader is actually an aspiring director here, I feel like I haven't seen that explored so it's a new perspective!!
It’s just another day in the world of film production—one where your name barely carries weight, where you’re another invisible cog in the relentless machine that keeps everything running. No one notices you unless they need something.— my heart already breaks, poor baby:((
Rising star, adored by millions, praised for his talent, his charm, his ability to command a scene like he was born for it. He’s the kind of actor whose name alone can secure funding for a film. He’s also notoriously difficult.— hehe Sunghoon introduction (im so downbad for him). I'm smiling like an idiot reading this, I'm so excited!!
God, their first interaction makes me so excited to see how this relationship will progress. —He doesn’t matter. You’re here for your career, for your dreams. And Park Sunghoon? He’s just another actor. At least, that’s what you tell yourself. For now.— Rei your words, are always able to enrapture me, it's so good.
Sunghoon’s coldness also interests me, like, what more is there to it? What causes you to behave like this? Defense mechanism perchance? I'm so invested. —Sunghoon scoffs, adjusting the lapel himself with a flick of his wrist. “I don’t need your help with that.” Your fingers curl into a fist at your side, nails digging into your palm.— if this happened to me though, I'd feel so embarrassed ah😭
The tense atmosphere as they read through the lines??? oh my god. —You stand your ground. “I said no. We’re not moving the table just because you don’t like where it is. The set designer put it there for a reason, and I’m not going to mess up the entire continuity just to satisfy your need for control.” — we love it when women talk back to men, we cheer! AND THE WAY HE JUST LISTENS 😵💫 ugh I love it.
You let out a sharp breath. “Because your tantrum is delaying the schedule, and if you refuse to wear it, I have to be the one to fix the mess it creates. So, forgive me for caring, but some of us don’t have the luxury of making everyone cater to our every whim.” — God I'm so in love with reader wow she's amazing😭
He smirks—just barely, a flicker of amusement crossing his face before he masks it with indifference. “Alright then.” And with that, he starts.— he's so infuriating in the most attractive way. God, I absolutely love all the tension between them, it so attractive.
You glance up and find a cup of coffee placed beside your elbow. You blink. Look up. Sunghoon is standing over you, hands tucked into his pockets, expression unreadable.— he's so fucking cute I'm going to cry I love him. And the way the small gestures continue ugh, my poor heart.
You nod, turning your gaze to the dimly lit set in front of you. “Work keeps your mind busy. When you’re constantly moving, constantly focused on something, you don’t have time to think about the things you don’t want to face.”— I'm so loving this moment, they finally have a bonding moment about constantly being busy. I totally get it, being busy, despite the tiredness you often feel, helps with not thinking, especially when you want to avoid the loudness that thoughts bring. I love how Sunghoon opens up, and we see how he too struggled in the beginning and it makes sense why he behaves the way he does.
I love that the conversation sets the tone moving forward and the subtle change in the relationship is there with Sunghoon’s sweetness popping out a bit more.
The next thing you know, you’re being pulled upright—too fast, too close—until your body collides with solid warmth. You suck in a breath. Strong hands steady you, one gripping your wrist, the other settling lightly against your waist. You don’t have to look up to know who it is. — giggly and smiley!!! I love them so much.—His grip on your waist tightens—just a fraction. Just enough for you to feel it. For the first time, you think he might actually smile– I WILL GO INSANE AHH
The realization hits you like a freight train. Your stomach flips, your breath catches, and for one terrifying moment, you think you might actually let him. — I will pass out
THE KISS, IN THE RAIN????? I AM GOING TO DIE OH MY GOD.
Suddenly he completely pulls away, you open your eyes at the lack of contact. His hand reaches out, gently grabbing yours as your fingers entwine. “Where’s your bedroom?” he says, catching his breath. No other words pass between the two of you as you lead him down the hall.— no but it's so cute thst he intertwines their fingers what if I ??? I'm freaking out.
"Baby," he pleads, "look at me." You force yourself to open your eyes, and the moment they meet his, he smiles. "There you are."— I am not okay, mentally running laps.
"I'm sorry, baby, but I can't wait any longer." His hands find your waist, pulling you further up the bed until your head rests against the pillows. His voice drops, thick with need. "I need to feel you."— the things I wanna say, my face is so hot LOL😭
Sunghoon is still beside you. He’s lying on his side, face relaxed in sleep, dark lashes fanned across his cheekbones. His hair is tousled, strands falling messily over his forehead. His bare shoulder peeks out from beneath the sheets, and one of his arms is draped over your waist, keeping you close even in sleep.— I could cry, i love that he's still there the day after :(( —But before you can, he glances over his shoulder one last time. “I’ll see you on set.” And then he’s gone. The door clicks shut behind him, and you’re left staring at the empty space where he stood.— :(((((
Sunghoon watches you carefully, searching for something in your expression. He takes a breath and says, “I can’t promise everything will be perfect. But I want you. Will you be mine?”— I'm going to cry :(
I love how we see the slip ups, going from subtle to more obvious, I am loving this.
His hands find your waist, pulling you flush against him, and suddenly, the weeks of restraint snap like a frayed wire. The first kiss is slow, deliberate, his mouth moving against yours with a patience that contradicts the tension crackling between you. But then you grip the front of his shirt, pulling him closer, and his control shatters.— I am going to insane rn.
ALMOST GETTING CAUGHT???? AHHH
No but them hiding and going out is actually so cute :( I love them aww. Also I love how supportive Sunghoon is about reader's dream :((((
And the angst creeps in....the way he pulls away, the way he's leaving to go overseas, the way reader was transferred to another crew, I'm heartbroken:(
I am so glad that despite the angst between them, reader finally got her moment and is having her first movie and Sunghoon isn't the star this time :( and it somehow gets worse??? he's with someone no :((
REI REIIIIII😭 I FORGOT YOU WRITE THE MOST GUT WRENCHING ANGST AND IT JUST ENDING NOO[ MY BABIES DIDNT GET A HAPPY END :(((
I was so invested in this I absolutely forgot how good Rei is at doing an angst, I was so caught up that the ending crept up on me like a stranger in the night. It was an amazing piece though Rei :( I always love your work. I never really comment on smut as it isn't my thing, but I have been trying my best to let people know my thoughts relating to it and I just wanna say that portion was absolutely insane, like the emotions were there, it wasn't overdone to a point where it's a bit much, it was just perfect. Again Rei, it was a wonderful piece even if you left me heartbroken in the end ♡
When Cameras Stop Rolling | P.SH
Pairing: actor!sunghoon x fem aspiringdirector!reader Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut Warnings/Themes: Mature content, explicit language and sexual content, kind of enemies to lovers to ??? , multiple smut scenes (2), soft dom!sunghoon, fingering!, oral! (f! and m! rec) , unprotected!sex, kind of public!sex, creampie! (reader is on birth control but wasn't mentioned), (might've missed some)
Summary: When the cameras stop rolling, the world still watches. You’ve spent years behind the scenes, dreaming of the day you’ll call the shots.
Then there’s Sunghoon—an untouchable star, distant yet impossibly captivating. To him, you’re just another face in the crowd—until tension sparks and walls crack.
When love and ambition collide, will either of you risk it all?
Word count: 21.1k
You weave through the chaos of the set, clipboard in hand, heart pounding as you check the schedule for the hundredth time today. The towering lights cast long shadows over the crew, the air thick with the scent of coffee, sweat, and expensive perfume from the high-profile actors preparing for their next scene.
It’s just another day in the world of film production—one where your name barely carries weight, where you’re another invisible cog in the relentless machine that keeps everything running. No one notices you unless they need something.
“Y/N, can you grab another battery pack for the boom mic?” someone shouts.
“Where’s the set list?”
“We need a fresh slate over here—hey, Y/N, did you double-check the continuity?”
The calls blur together, but you answer each one with practiced ease. You’ve been here long enough to know how it works: the crew hustles behind the scenes, the actors shine under the lights, and the director calls the shots. And you? You exist somewhere in between—essential but unnoticed, striving for a position that still feels painfully out of reach.
Directing. That’s the dream.
Not running errands, not handling last-minute crises, not fetching coffee for people who don’t bother to learn your name. You want to be the one in the chair, guiding the vision, telling a story the way you see it. But for now, you bite your tongue and do the work, knowing that ambition means little in an industry where experience and connections dictate your worth. Still, it stings.
You pause near the monitor, watching as the director—your director—gives notes to the lead actor. He commands attention effortlessly, his vision shaping the world on screen. You watch, envy curling deep in your gut, because that’s where you want to be. “Someday,” you murmur under your breath, gripping your clipboard tighter.
A sharp voice jolts you from your thoughts. “Y/N! Stop standing around! We need the next prop setup now!”
With a sigh, you push your dreams aside and dive back into the fray. Because in this industry, dreaming is the easy part. Making it happen? That’s another battle entirely.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The day has been long, and you’re running on little more than sheer willpower and the half-empty cup of coffee you left somewhere on set hours ago. The schedule is tight, and tensions are high—as they always are on a production of this scale. You’re used to the pressure. Used to being the unseen force that keeps things moving. But today, something is different.
“Y/N!” Your head snaps up at the sound of your name. One of the assistant directors is striding toward you, her expression pinched with impatience. You barely have time to acknowledge her before she thrusts a neatly folded call sheet into your hands.
“You’re assigned to Park Sunghoon today.” You blink. “What?”
She exhales sharply, already looking past you to another crisis unfolding elsewhere on set. “Sunghoon’s personal assistant isn’t here, so you’re filling in. Keep him on schedule, make sure he has what he needs, and for God’s sake, don’t piss him off. Got it?”
Your stomach sinks. Park Sunghoon. The industry’s golden boy.
Rising star, adored by millions, praised for his talent, his charm, his ability to command a scene like he was born for it. He’s the kind of actor whose name alone can secure funding for a film. He’s also notoriously difficult.
Rumors circulate about him—how he’s cold, distant, impossible to please. He rarely speaks to crew members unless necessary, and when he does, it’s often with clipped, impersonal words. Some say it’s arrogance. Others say it’s just the way he is.
Either way, being assigned to him is a daunting task. You swallow your apprehension, nodding before the assistant director disappears. There’s no time to dwell on your nerves. Straightening your shoulders, you make your way toward Sunghoon’s trailer.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The door is slightly ajar when you reach it. You hesitate for only a second before knocking firmly against the frame. No answer. Another knock. Still nothing.
Taking a steadying breath, you push the door open and step inside.
The air is noticeably cooler inside the trailer, the hum of the AC the only sound aside from your own footsteps. At first, you don’t see him. Then, your eyes land on the figure seated in the far corner, completely absorbed in his phone.
Park Sunghoon.
Up close, he’s even more striking than in magazines or on screen. His sharp features are almost too perfect, framed by jet-black hair that falls effortlessly into place. He’s dressed in his costume for the next scene—a tailored black suit, pristine and elegant. He looks every bit the star he is. But what stands out the most is the air of disinterest that radiates from him. You clear your throat lightly. “Mr. Park?”
Nothing. He doesn’t even look up. You shift on your feet, fingers tightening around the call sheet in your hand. “I’ve been assigned as your assistant for today. If there’s anything you need—”
“I don’t need anything,” he says flatly, still not sparing you a glance. His voice is smooth but devoid of warmth, and the dismissal in his tone is obvious.
You hesitate. “Right. Well, I still have to make sure you’re on schedule, so I’ll be around—”
“Do whatever you want,” he interrupts, swiping through something on his phone. “Just don’t get in my way.”
The words are a slap to the face. You’ve worked with difficult actors before, but something about his complete disregard stings more than you care to admit. He doesn’t even acknowledge your presence properly—just writes you off as another faceless crew member not worth his time.
Still, you’re professional. You force a neutral expression, ignoring the quiet prickle of irritation crawling up your spine. “There’s water and snacks here if you get hungry,” you say, motioning toward the neatly arranged table near the window. “And if you need any adjustments to your costume or makeup before the next scene, let me know.”
Sunghoon finally looks up, his dark eyes settling on you for the first time. For a brief second, you think he might say something—maybe even a simple acknowledgment. But instead, his gaze flickers over you, uninterested, before he leans back in his chair.
“Are you done?”
Your jaw tightens. “Yes.”
“Then you can go.” You bite the inside of your cheek, forcing yourself to nod before turning on your heel and walking out.
The second you’re outside, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.
You should have expected this. The rumors weren’t exaggerated. Sunghoon doesn’t just act indifferent—he embodies it. And yet, despite the irritation simmering beneath your skin, you shake it off.
He doesn’t matter. You’re here for your career, for your dreams. And Park Sunghoon? He’s just another actor. At least, that’s what you tell yourself. For now.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The tension on set is suffocating.
It’s been a long morning of filming, the crew scrambling to keep everything on schedule. The lead actors are preparing for the next scene, cameras are being adjusted, and you—unfortunately—are still tethered to Park Sunghoon, ensuring everything runs smoothly on his end. Not that he’s made it easy.
Since your first encounter, he’s continued to treat you with the same cold indifference. He never acknowledges you unless absolutely necessary, and when he does, it’s with clipped words and dismissive glances. You try to ignore it, reminding yourself that this is just part of the job.
You’ve worked with plenty of high-maintenance actors before. But none of them have ever gotten under your skin quite like this.
“Y/N, make sure Sunghoon’s costume is properly set before we roll,” one of the assistant directors calls.
You nod and step forward, glancing at Sunghoon’s suit. It looks fine, but experience has taught you to double-check everything. You reach out to smooth the lapel of his jacket, making a small adjustment to the way it sits on his shoulder.
The moment your fingers brush the fabric, Sunghoon recoils. “Don’t touch it.” His voice is sharp, cutting through the noise around you.
You freeze, startled by the sudden hostility in his tone. “I was just fixing—”
“It’s fine,” he snaps, brushing your hand away as if your mere presence is an inconvenience. “Next time, ask before you do something unnecessary.” A hush falls over the surrounding crew. People turn to glance at the commotion, their eyes darting between you and Sunghoon.
Humiliation burns through you. It’s not just what he said—it’s the way he said it. Cold, dismissive, like you’re nothing more than an annoyance. Like you don’t belong here.
You swallow the lump in your throat, willing yourself to stay composed. “I was just doing my job,” you say, keeping your voice even. “Making sure you look perfect for the shot.”
Sunghoon scoffs, adjusting the lapel himself with a flick of his wrist. “I don’t need your help with that.” Your fingers curl into a fist at your side, nails digging into your palm.
This isn’t the first time you’ve been looked down on in this industry. You’re used to the hierarchy, to being treated like background noise. But something about Sunghoon’s attitude—his complete disregard for you—stings deeper than it should.
Because it’s not just indifference. It’s deliberate. He wants you to know you don’t matter to him.
The assistant director, sensing the tension, quickly intervenes. “Alright, let’s get into position! We’re rolling in five!”
The moment is over, but the sting of embarrassment lingers. You take a step back, forcing yourself to breathe, forcing yourself to ignore the quiet murmurs from the surrounding staff. Sunghoon, meanwhile, has already moved on—expression impassive, eyes fixed ahead as if you don’t exist.
You bite the inside of your cheek, swallowing the anger bubbling in your chest. Fine. If that’s how he wants to play it, you won’t let him get under your skin. You straighten your shoulders, stepping out of his space and returning to your duties.
You won’t let Park Sunghoon make you feel small.
Not today. Not ever.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The set is alive with movement—crew members adjusting lights, cameras rolling into position, and makeup artists doing last-minute touch-ups on the lead actors. You also stay busy, as you always do, keeping things organized and ensuring every detail aligns with the director’s vision.
And, of course, keeping your distance from Park Sunghoon.
It’s been a few days since he had humiliated you in front of the crew, but the irritation still simmers beneath your skin. You’ve barely interacted with him since, only speaking to him when absolutely necessary. If he wants to pretend you don’t exist, you’re more than happy to return the favour.
Still, your job requires you to be aware of everything happening on set—including him.
Sunghoon is standing near the monitors, listening intently as the director gives him notes for the next scene. His posture is straight, his face stoic and unreadable, every part of him exuding that effortless confidence he’s known for.
You hate to admit it, but you understand why the industry adores him.
He carries himself like a star—like someone who was born to be in front of a camera. Every movement is deliberate, every glance is calculated. He doesn’t just act; he becomes the character, slipping into the role with practiced ease when the cameras start rolling. It’s infuriating how effortless it seems.
You’re still standing at a distance, flipping through the schedule on your clipboard, when a voice calls your name. “Y/N, we need someone to run lines with Sunghoon before we roll. Can you do it just until his co-star gets here?”
You pause, gripping your clipboard tighter. Of all the tasks you could’ve been assigned, this is what they ask you to do? You glance around, hoping someone else is free to step in, but no one does.
Damn it. Forcing a neutral expression, you nod. “Got it.”
The second you approach, Sunghoon’s gaze flickers toward you. His eyes give away nothing—no recognition, no irritation, just the same blank indifference he always reserves for you.
“We need to run lines,” you say, keeping your tone strictly professional. Sunghoon barely reacts. “Fine.”
You suppress the urge to roll your eyes and open the script, scanning the lines. The scene is heavy—an emotional confrontation between his character and the female lead. It requires tension, anger, and heartbreak.
Not that you care. You just want to get this over with.
Clearing your throat, you begin reading. Obviously, you’re not the best at this, this wasn’t what you signed up for but you do your best. Your voice is steady, controlled, giving just enough emotion to make the lines flow naturally. You expect Sunghoon to do the same—to deliver his part with the same distant professionalism he treats everything with.
But then he looks at you. Really looks at you. For the first time, his gaze isn’t skimming past you or dismissing you outright. It’s focused—intense. He delivers his lines smoothly, his voice calm but layered with the controlled fury his character is meant to convey.
“You said you loved me… I gave you everything, I’d even give you the world if I could, but this? This is how you repay me?”
And for a moment, you almost forget that this is just a read-through.
“Let me explain, I can’t lose us but I also can’t lose this…”
You read from the script, voice quivering the slightest bit. Your pulse quickens, Not because of him, but because of the sheer force of his presence. It’s unsettling how easily he commands attention, how his eyes lock onto yours and make it feel like there’s no one else in the room.
But this isn’t real. It’s just acting. It’s literally his job. He’s trained for this. And yet, the way he holds your gaze makes it impossible to ignore the shift in the air around you.
The second the scene ends, the weight of his stare disappears. He looks away as if nothing happened, flipping the script shut with practiced indifference.
“That’s enough,” he mutters.
You blink. Once. Twice. You’re momentarily thrown off by how abruptly he drops the intensity.
He doesn’t respond. Just turns away, already focusing on something else, as if the last few minutes meant nothing at all. And they didn’t. You don’t dwell on it. You can’t. Because no matter how sharp his gaze feels when it lingers on you, or how easily he commands attention, you refuse to let it mean anything.
He’s an actor.
He was just acting.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The days bleed together, a relentless cycle of early mornings and late nights, and somehow, you always find yourself clashing with Park Sunghoon.
It’s not intentional—at least, not on your part.
He just always has something to complain about. The lighting is too harsh. The script revisions are unnecessary. The costume department didn’t get his measurements right. And when there’s nothing else to nitpick, he directs his irritation toward you.
You, who is only doing your job.
You, who has done nothing to warrant the thinly veiled condescension in his tone whenever he speaks to you.
And yet, every interaction feels like another reminder that to him, you’re just an inconvenience.
“Y/N.” You glance up from the monitor, catching sight of Sunghoon approaching with that same unreadable expression he always wears. His suit is immaculate—no surprise there—but there’s a slight furrow between his brows, a sure sign that he’s about to complain.
You brace yourself. “Yes?”
“This—” He gestures to the set behind you, where props and lighting have been carefully arranged for the next scene. “It’s wrong.”
You blink. “What do you mean, wrong?”
“The setup,” he says flatly, as if it should be obvious. “The table is in the wrong position.”
You glance over your shoulder. The table in question sits precisely where it was placed per the set designer’s notes. Nothing has changed since this morning. “It’s exactly where it’s supposed to be,” you tell him, crossing your arms.
Sunghoon exhales sharply, clearly unimpressed with your answer. “It wasn’t there yesterday.”
“That’s because they adjusted it to match the camera angles for today’s shoot,” you explain, keeping your voice even. “It’s intentional.”
He doesn’t look convinced. “It’s distracting.”
You stare at him. “It’s a table.”
The muscle in his jaw ticks. “It’s in the wrong place.”
You release a slow breath, forcing yourself to remain patient. “Look, Sunghoon, I get that you have your preferences, but moving the table now would mess with continuity. Everything is already set up for the next shot.”
His expression remains impassive, but you don’t miss the way his fingers twitch at his side, like he’s resisting the urge to argue further. For a moment, it seems like he’s going to let it go. “Move it anyway.”
Your patience snaps. “No.” It’s a simple word, firm and unwavering, but it seems to catch him off guard.
His eyes narrow slightly. “Excuse me?”
You stand your ground. “I said no. We’re not moving the table just because you don’t like where it is. The set designer put it there for a reason, and I’m not going to mess up the entire continuity just to satisfy your need for control.”
A tense silence stretches between you. The crew nearby pretends not to eavesdrop, but you can feel their eyes darting toward the confrontation, waiting to see how Sunghoon will react.
His expression darkens, and for a second, you wonder if you’ve gone too far. “Fine.”
You blink. Did he just… give up? Sunghoon exhales through his nose, tilting his head slightly as he studies you. His gaze is sharp, calculating, as if he’s seeing you for the first time. But just as quickly, the moment passes.
“Do whatever you want,” he mutters before turning on his heel and walking away.
You watch him go, chest rising and falling with quiet frustration.
The crew resumes their work, the tension in the air dissipating, but you’re still left with a lingering sense of unease. Because for the first time since you started working on this set, Park Sunghoon didn’t just dismiss you.
He listened. And somehow, that unsettles you more than anything.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
It happens again.
You don’t know if Sunghoon is actually making your life difficult on purpose, or if he’s just that naturally insufferable. Either way, he’s quickly becoming the single biggest source of frustration in your already overwhelming workload.
Today, it’s the costume. “I’m not wearing this,” Sunghoon says flatly, standing in the middle of the dressing room, arms crossed over his chest.
You glance at the mirror behind him, where the reflection of his current outfit stares back at you. The suit is tailored perfectly, sleek and elegant, designed specifically to fit the tone of the upcoming scene. It looks fine. More than fine. It looks good. But, of course, Park Sunghoon has a problem with it.
You pinch the bridge of your nose, inhaling slowly before responding. “Sunghoon, the costume department spent weeks finalizing the designs. It’s already been approved by the director.”
“I don’t care,” he says, tone as impassive as ever. “It’s uncomfortable. The fabric is stiff, and the collar is too tight.”
You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “It’s a suit. It’s supposed to fit that way.”
“It’s restricting.”
“That’s the point.”
His eyes narrow slightly at your tone, but you don’t back down. You’re already exhausted from dealing with the hundred other problems popping up on set today. The last thing you need is Sunghoon refusing to cooperate over something as trivial as a suit.
“Look,” you continue, crossing your arms, “I get that you have preferences, but the wardrobe team put a lot of thought into this. You can’t just refuse to wear it because it’s slightly uncomfortable.”
Sunghoon tilts his head slightly, regarding you with that unreadable stare of his. “Why do you care so much?”
You let out a sharp breath. “Because your tantrum is delaying the schedule, and if you refuse to wear it, I have to be the one to fix the mess it creates. So, forgive me for caring, but some of us don’t have the luxury of making everyone cater to our every whim.”
The room falls silent.
A quiet tension settles between you, thick and unyielding. You can feel the wardrobe assistants nervously shifting in the background, the air charged with the weight of unspoken words. Sunghoon, for once, says nothing. He just watches you, gaze unwavering.
You hold your breath, expecting him to lash out, to throw another dismissive remark your way. But instead, he sighs. A small, almost imperceptible exhale. Then, without another word, he turns back to the mirror and adjusts the cuff of his sleeve. The message is clear. He’s letting it go.
You blink, momentarily thrown off by the unexpected lack of resistance. Then, realizing this is your win, you straighten your posture and nod. “Good. I’ll let the team know we’re moving forward.”
Sunghoon doesn’t acknowledge your words. He just finishes fixing the suit himself, his expression unreadable.
You turn on your heel and walk out of the dressing room, your pulse still buzzing with the remnants of the confrontation. But for the first time, you don’t feel small under Sunghoon’s scrutiny. You don’t feel insignificant. You stood your ground. And, whether he’d admit it or not, he backed down.
It’s a small victory. But in this industry? Even the smallest wins count.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
You should have seen this coming.
When the assistant director approached you this afternoon, clipboard in hand, and told you that Sunghoon needed someone to help him rehearse lines for an overnight shoot, “You’ve done it before last time, you’re doing nothing else later too,” you should have made an excuse. Should have told them you were too busy. Should have assigned the task to someone else.
But instead, here you are. Trapped. In a dimly lit corner of the set, sitting across from Park Sunghoon in a cramped backstage area that barely fits the two of you.
The main set is being rearranged for the next scene, and since filming can’t resume until everything is in place, the crew is scattered—some grabbing a late-night coffee, others reviewing notes, all leaving you with no escape from this situation.
Sunghoon flips through the script, eyes skimming over the lines. He hasn’t said much since you sat down, aside from a brief nod of acknowledgment. He’s as unreadable as ever, and you’re too exhausted to figure out whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
“You ready?” you ask, stretching your fingers as you grip your copy of the script.
Sunghoon barely glances at you. “You sure you can keep up?”
Your lips press into a thin line. It’s been like this for weeks. Constantly butting heads, trading sharp words that always carry the edge of something heavier. You exhale through your nose and roll your shoulders back. “Let’s just get this over with.”
He smirks—just barely, a flicker of amusement crossing his face before he masks it with indifference. “Alright then.” And with that, he starts.
The scene is intense—a heated argument between his character and the female lead, raw with tension and emotion. You read your lines smoothly, keeping your voice steady, but Sunghoon…
Sunghoon doesn’t just recite his lines. He delivers them. His voice shifts seamlessly into character, rich with frustration and unspoken anger, his presence filling the small space between you. Even though you’re just reading, the sheer weight of his performance is enough to make your pulse stutter.
His eyes lock onto yours, sharp and unwavering, and suddenly it feels like the world outside this moment doesn’t exist.
You know it’s just acting. You know that. And yet, there’s something unnerving about being on the receiving end of his intensity. You push through, refusing to let his presence throw you off. You meet his stare head-on, refusing to waver, delivering your lines with just as much weight.
The words from the script fly between you like sparks igniting dry air.
“That’s all you ever do. Walk away. Like none of this ever mattered to you.”“Don’t you dare turn this on me. I was the only one who ever fought for us.” Sunghoon scoffs, the sound low and bitter.
“Fought? Is that what you call it? Because from where I’m standing, all I see is someone who gave up the moment things got hard.” You tighten your grip on the script.
“No. I gave up when I realized I was the only one still trying. YOU chose to not have me, have US, as a priority.”
The words hang between you. Heavy. Unrelenting. It’s just a script. Just a scene. But the weight of it presses down like something real.
The next line in the script is a pause—a moment of silence where the characters stare at each other, the fight teetering between rage and something neither of them can name.
Neither of you move. The quiet hum of distant voices from the main set barely reaches you. The only sound between you is the faint rustling of paper as Sunghoon shifts his grip on the script, his gaze still trained on you.
Your heartbeat is annoyingly loud in your ears. You should say something. Make a joke. Brush it off. But before you can, a crew member’s voice suddenly cuts through the silence.
“Sunghoon! You’re needed for blocking in five minutes!”
The moment shatters.
Sunghoon blinks, the tension breaking just as quickly as it had formed. He exhales, rolling his shoulders back before finally looking away.
“Guess we’re done here,” he mutters, flipping his script shut.
You swallow, nodding as you quickly gather your things. “Yeah.”
Neither of you say anything else as you stand and step out of the confined space, rejoining the rest of the crew. But as you walk away, shaking off the strange weight lingering in your chest, you can’t shake the feeling that something between you and Sunghoon just shifted.
And you don’t know what that means.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The exhaustion is starting to creep in.
Overnight shoots have a way of draining every last bit of energy from you, stretching time into something unrecognizable. The set is bathed in artificial light to mimic the illusion of late evening, but outside, the sky is already bleeding into the soft hues of dawn.
You sit at the far end of the set, sipping what is probably your third—no, fourth—cup of coffee, going over the schedule for the day. Your body aches, your eyelids feel heavier than usual, and yet, you can’t rest. There’s still too much to do, too much to coordinate.
You barely register Sunghoon’s presence at first. He’s sitting nearby, reviewing notes with the director, his usually pristine appearance slightly undone—his tie is loose, the cuffs of his dress shirt unbuttoned, dark strands of hair falling into his eyes. It’s the most unpolished you’ve ever seen him. Not that you care.
You force your attention back to the clipboard in your hands, mentally preparing for the chaos of the coming hours. But then, something shifts.
A soft thud.
You glance up and find a cup of coffee placed beside your elbow. You blink. Look up. Sunghoon is standing over you, hands tucked into his pockets, expression unreadable.
For a moment, you just stare at the cup, as if trying to decipher its presence. “…What’s this?” you ask cautiously.
Sunghoon shrugs, gaze flickering away. “You’ve been up longer than most of the crew. Figured you needed it. Don’t want you messing things up again.”
You blink again, stunned into silence. Sunghoon? Offering you something? Voluntarily? The world must be ending. Slowly, you wrap your fingers around the warm cup, the heat seeping into your chilled skin. You hesitate before murmuring, “Thanks.”
Sunghoon says nothing. He simply nods once before walking away, leaving you with a cup of coffee and a strange, unfamiliar feeling curling in your chest.
You tell yourself it’s just exhaustion. That’s all it is.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The small gestures don’t stop there.
Over the next few days, there’s a shift. Subtle, but noticeable. Sunghoon still keeps his distance, still maintains that cool indifference that makes him impossible to read. But there are… moments.
Like when he passes by the props table and subtly fixes something out of place before you can do it yourself.
Or when he doesn’t argue—for once—when you tell him to adjust his costume before a scene.
Or when you find a neatly folded jacket draped over the back of your chair one evening, long after the sun has set, when the set has turned quiet and you’re the only one left working.
You never catch him in the act. But you know. And you don’t know what to make of it, because this isn’t Sunghoon. At least, not the Sunghoon you thought you knew. The one who went out of his way to ignore you, to dismiss you as nothing more than an inconvenience.
So why does it feel like—despite everything—he’s starting to notice you?
You shake the thought from your head. It doesn’t matter. This doesn’t mean anything. It can’t. Because Sunghoon is still Sunghoon.
And you? You’re still just another crew member. A nobody in his world for now. You have to focus on your goal.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The set is nearly empty, save for a few crew members wrapping up for the night. The usual hum of voices and movement has died down, replaced by the occasional rustling of equipment being packed away. You should have left hours ago, but your body moves on autopilot as you double-check the next day’s schedule, making sure nothing has slipped through the cracks.
The exhaustion clings to you like a second skin. You rub your temples, trying to will away the dull ache forming between your brows, when a voice cuts through the silence.
“You’re still here?” You flinch, turning sharply.
Sunghoon stands a few feet away, leaning casually against a production crate. His suit jacket is gone, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his usual polished demeanor replaced by something looser, less composed. He looks just as tired as you feel.
You clear your throat. “I could ask you the same thing.”
He doesn’t answer immediately, just studies you for a beat before shrugging. “Didn’t feel like going home yet.”
You frown slightly. “Why not?”
Another pause. His gaze flickers away for a moment, as if debating whether or not to answer. When he finally does, his voice is quieter than usual. “Silence feels heavier when you’re alone.”
The words catch you off guard. You’ve never heard Sunghoon speak like this before—without sarcasm, without that usual edge of indifference. Just… honest. For a moment, you don’t know how to respond. Then, before you can stop yourself, you ask, “Is that why you work so much?”
His lips press into a thin line, but he doesn’t deny it.
You exhale softly, leaning back against the chair. “I get it.”
Sunghoon’s eyes flicker back to you, sharp with curiosity. “Do you?”
You nod, turning your gaze to the dimly lit set in front of you. “Work keeps your mind busy. When you’re constantly moving, constantly focused on something, you don’t have time to think about the things you don’t want to face.”
There’s a beat of silence. “That’s surprisingly insightful,” Sunghoon murmurs.
You huff a quiet laugh. “I’m full of surprises.”
Sunghoon leans against the crate, tilting his head slightly. His usual sharp gaze softens, something unreadable flickering across his face. “I used to be terrified,” he says suddenly, his voice lower than before.
You blink, caught off guard by the confession. “Of what?”
His fingers drum idly against the crate’s surface. “Failing.”
You don’t say anything, waiting for him to continue.
“When I first started out, no one took me seriously. People saw my face and assumed I was just another pretty boy who got lucky.” He exhales through his nose. “I had to work twice as hard just to prove I belonged here.”
You watch him carefully. You’ve never heard him talk about this before—not in interviews, not in passing conversations with the crew. Sunghoon rarely lets people see beyond the polished surface, beyond the image of perfection he’s carefully built. But right now, there’s no mask. No arrogance. Just raw honesty.
You shift in your seat. “What was the hardest part?”
He hesitates. “The rejection.” His fingers tighten slightly. “You think you’re good enough, and then someone tells you you’re not. Over and over again.”
You nod slowly. You understand that feeling all too well. “But you made it,” you say softly.
Sunghoon lets out a quiet laugh—one that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah. But the fear never really goes away.”
You tilt your head. “Even now?”
“Especially now.” His voice is calm, but there’s something heavy beneath it. “When you reach a certain point, people stop caring about how hard you worked to get there. All they see is what you are now. And if you slip, even for a second, they’re ready to move on to the next rising star.”
You don’t break his gaze. You should have guessed this—should have realized that someone as successful as Sunghoon would carry the weight of expectations heavier than most. Still, hearing it from him directly makes it feel different. Real.
“Do you ever regret it?” you ask quietly.
He doesn’t answer right away. “No.” A pause. “But sometimes, I wonder what it would feel like to just… stop. To not have to care about every little thing, to not have to be perfect all the time.” His voice is softer than before, almost distant. It’s the first time you’ve ever heard him sound tired.
You swallow the lump in your throat. “That sounds… lonely.”
Sunghoon exhales. “It is.”
The silence between you stretches, not uncomfortable but different. He doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t try to fill the space with unnecessary words.
And for once, you don’t feel the need to either. It’s strange—this quiet, fragile understanding between you. But maybe, just for tonight, you don’t have to question it.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
You don’t know exactly when it happened, or how, but the shift between you and Sunghoon is undeniable. It’s not sudden or dramatic. There’s no grand moment of realization, no obvious turning point. It’s something quieter. Subtle.
You notice it in the way he doesn’t immediately shut you down when you speak to him anymore.
In the way his sharp remarks have softened, turning into dry humor instead of outright dismissal.
In the way he looks at you sometimes—not with disdain, not with indifference, but with something… else.
You don’t question it. You don’t acknowledge it because whatever this is, it’s fragile. And you don’t dare disturb it.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
It starts with the little things.
Like today. You’re going over the schedule for the next scene when a shadow falls over your clipboard. You look up, surprised to find Sunghoon standing beside you.
“Here.” You blink as he hands you something. A protein bar.
You stare at it for a moment, then back at him. “What’s this for?”
Sunghoon shrugs, looking anywhere but at you. “You forgot to eat lunch.”
You frown. “How do you—?”
“I just noticed,” he says quickly, cutting you off.
You raise an eyebrow but take the protein bar anyway. “Thanks, I guess.”
He nods, already stepping away. But before he leaves, you hear him mumble, just loud enough for you to catch— “Don’t make a habit of skipping meals.”
You don’t even get the chance to respond before he disappears down the hall. You stare after him, heart thudding a little too loudly in your chest. This… isn’t normal. At least, not for him. Park Sunghoon doesn’t notice people. He doesn’t care about the little things. And yet, here he is, paying attention to you in ways that don’t make sense.
You shake your head, stuffing the protein bar into your bag.
It doesn’t mean anything. It can’t mean anything.
Right?
ㅤㅤ─────────────────────────
A few days later, it happens again.
This time, it’s late at night, and you’re reviewing notes in one of the empty break rooms. Most of the crew has already gone home, but you’re still here, buried in work as usual.
You barely hear the door open. “You’re still here?” You glance up, unsurprised to see Sunghoon standing in the doorway. This is becoming a pattern.
You sigh. “You really need to stop sneaking up on me like that.”
He smirks faintly. “Maybe you just need to be more aware of your surroundings.”
You roll your eyes but don’t bother arguing. Instead, you go back to your notes. “What are you still doing here?”
“Could ask you the same thing.”
“I work here.”
Sunghoon hums, stepping further into the room. He leans against the table beside you, arms crossed. “You work too much.”
You huff. “That’s rich coming from you.”
He doesn’t deny it. Just tilts his head slightly, studying you with that unreadable gaze of his. Then, after a pause, he says, “You’re good at what you do.”
You freeze. Of all the things you expected him to say, that wasn’t one of them.
Slowly, you look up. “What?”
Sunghoon’s expression is unreadable, but there’s no sarcasm in his voice when he repeats, “You’re good at your job.”
You swallow, caught off guard. Compliments aren’t something you hear often—especially not from him. For a moment, you don’t know how to respond.
Finally, you manage, “Thanks.”
Sunghoon nods once before pushing off the table. “Don’t stay too late.” And just like that, he’s gone again.
You stare after him, heart pounding with something you really don’t want to name because whatever this is—whatever is happening between you and Sunghoon—it’s starting to feel dangerously close to something real.
And you don’t know if you’re ready for that.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
You don’t know what’s worse—the tension before you and Sunghoon started tolerating each other, or the tension now.
Before, you could dismiss him as insufferable, a man too caught up in his own world to care about anyone else. But now?
Now, he lingers.
Now, he notices.
Now, he watches you in a way that makes your skin feel too warm, makes the air between you feel heavier than it should.
And the worst part? You catch yourself doing the same.
It’s nothing—just a series of small moments, insignificant on their own but unbearable when strung together.
Like the way his gaze always seems to find you first when he enters a room.
Like the way your fingers brush against his more often than they should when handing him a prop or adjusting his mic.
Like the way silence between you is no longer uncomfortable, but something else entirely—something thick and unspoken.
You tell yourself it’s nothing. It has to be nothing because anything else would be a mistake.
ㅤㅤ─────────────────────────
You’re walking across the set, flipping through the pages of your clipboard as you weave between crew members adjusting lights and moving props. The scene is nearly ready, and you just need to confirm a few last-minute adjustments before filming starts.
You’re so focused on your notes that you don’t see the stray cable lying across your path. Your foot catches. The world tilts.
Your heart jumps into your throat as you stumble forward, clipboard slipping from your fingers. But before you can hit the ground, a firm hand grips your wrist.
The next thing you know, you’re being pulled upright—too fast, too close—until your body collides with solid warmth. You suck in a breath. Strong hands steady you, one gripping your wrist, the other settling lightly against your waist. You don’t have to look up to know who it is.
His hold is firm but careful, his fingers pressing against the fabric of your shirt, grounding you before you can fully process what just happened. For a moment, neither of you move. The air around you feels heavier, thick with something neither of you acknowledge.
“You should watch where you’re going,” Sunghoon murmurs, his voice lower than usual.
You finally look up.
Big mistake. Because he’s closer than you thought he was.
The dim lighting casts sharp shadows across his face, highlighting the sharp cut of his jaw, the way his dark eyes flicker with something unreadable. His breath is warm against your skin, and for a second, the world around you blurs—reduced to nothing but the space between you.
Your pulse pounds. “I—I was busy,” you stammer, trying to find some semblance of normalcy.
Sunghoon tilts his head slightly, gaze never leaving yours. “Too busy to notice where you’re walking?”
You swallow hard, willing your heart to calm down. “Maybe.”
His grip on your waist tightens—just a fraction. Just enough for you to feel it. For the first time, you think he might actually smile–
“Sunghoon! We need you on set!”
His expression hardens in an instant, as if someone flipped a switch. His hands fall away, the warmth of his touch disappearing too fast. You take a quick step back, still trying to catch your breath. Sunghoon clears his throat, straightening his posture. “Try not to trip again.”
You scowl, trying to ignore the heat rushing to your face. “Try not to catch me next time.”
He smirks—just barely, just enough to make your stomach twist in a way you refuse to acknowledge. And then he’s gone. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, pressing a hand to your chest to steady yourself.
This—whatever this is—is getting out of control and you don’t know how much longer you can ignore it.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The air is thick with tension.
Not the bad kind, not the simmering annoyance that used to define your interactions with Sunghoon. This is different.
This is the kind of tension that makes your pulse race, that makes your skin tingle whenever he’s too close, that makes every glance feel too much.
The night shoot has stretched longer than expected, with last-minute script adjustments and lighting corrections delaying the schedule. Most of the crew is exhausted, but the director is pushing to get one last take before they call it a wrap.
Sunghoon has been in and out of wardrobe for hours, and by now, even he looks tired. His usual pristine appearance is slightly undone—his tie loosened, the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up, a few strands of dark hair falling into his eyes.
You try not to look. You really did, but you fail.
“Y/N, can you check the lighting cues with Sunghoon before we roll?” You nod, gripping your clipboard a little too tightly. “Got it.”
You make your way toward Sunghoon, who’s reviewing the script under one of the set lights. When he notices you approaching, he sighs. “What now?” he mutters.
You cross your arms. “Relax. I’m just making sure you’re ready for the next take.”
He exhales through his nose, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. “Yeah, I know. Just tired.”
You hesitate, taken aback by his honesty. “Yeah,” you murmur. “Me too.”
For a moment, neither of you say anything. The usual biting remarks, the sarcastic exchanges—none of it comes. Instead, there’s just silence, filled with something heavier.
Sunghoon looks at you then. Really looks at you.
And that’s when everything shifts. It happens too fast.
One second, you’re stepping forward to adjust the collar of his shirt, fingers brushing against the fabric. The next, you lose your footing, maybe your own exhaustion catching up to you.
Either way, you stumble and Sunghoon catches you. Again.
His hands grip your arms, steadying you before you can fall. Your fingers clutch onto his shirt instinctively, holding onto him as the world tilts for just a moment.
And then you realize. He’s close. Too close.
Your breaths mingle in the small space between you, the faint scent of his cologne wrapping around you. His hands are firm, his touch warm, and when you finally gather the courage to look up, his eyes are already on you.
Something flickers in them, something unreadable yet impossibly heavy. His gaze drops briefly—to your lips, just for a split second—before snapping back up.
The realization hits you like a freight train. Your stomach flips, your breath catches, and for one terrifying moment, you think you might actually let him.
Your grip on his shirt tightens, his fingers flex against your arms, and the world around you fades—reduced to nothing but this moment, this space, him.
Maybe, just maybe, you’re fine with the thought of kissi-
A loud crash from across the set breaks the spell. Someone curses, something clatters to the floor, and just like that, the moment is gone.
You and Sunghoon jerk away from each other as if burned, the air between you suddenly too cold, too empty. Your heart is pounding so loudly you’re sure he can hear it.
Sunghoon exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair. His expression is unreadable, but there’s something in his eyes—something dangerously close to frustration… or maybe regret.
You don’t stick around to find out. “I—uh—should check on that,” you blurt, stepping back too quickly. “The crash. Someone probably—”
Sunghoon nods stiffly, jaw tight. “Yeah. You should.”
And then you walk away. Fast. Too fast. Because whatever that was?
It can’t happen again. It won’t happen again.
You tell yourself it was nothing.
That the near-kiss, the tension, the way Sunghoon’s hands felt on your skin—none of it mattered. It was just exhaustion. A moment of stupid miscalculation. But deep down, you know that’s a lie.
Because now, every glance between you lingers too long. Every accidental touch burns a little hotter. And every moment spent alone feels like standing on the edge of something dangerous, something you don’t want to name.
You don’t know how much longer you can pretend it isn’t happening.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
It’s raining.
The shoot ran late—again. By the time you step outside, the studio parking lot is nearly empty, the streetlights casting long shadows across the pavement. The rain isn’t heavy, just a steady drizzle that coats everything in a thin sheen of water. You tug your jacket closer around yourself, shivering slightly as you rummage through your bag for your keys. Fuck where is it?
“You forgot this.”
You spin around.
Sunghoon stands a few feet away, holding out your clipboard. His hair is slightly damp from the rain, his white dress shirt clinging to his frame. He looks different like this—less put together, less like the untouchable star everyone sees on screen. More real.
You blink, caught off guard. “Oh. Right. Thanks.” He doesn’t move. Doesn’t walk away.
Instead, he just watches you.
Like he’s waiting for something.
Like he’s fighting something.
And you know—you know—that this is the moment.
The one where you either walk away and pretend none of this ever happened.
Or you give in.
You swallow hard, pulse hammering in your ears. “Sunghoon…” His name comes out softer than you intended and that’s all it takes. The tension between you snaps.
One second, you’re standing in the rain, barely breathing. The next, Sunghoon is closing the distance between you in two quick strides, his hands coming up to cup your face as his lips crash into yours.
Your breath catches as heat floods through you, his mouth moving against yours with a kind of urgency you’ve never felt before. His grip is firm but careful, as if he’s terrified you’ll disappear if he holds too tight.
And maybe he should be. Because this—whatever this is—feels impossible. But right now, at this moment, you don’t care. You kiss him back.
Your hands grip the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer, pouring every ounce of frustration, of confusion, of longing into the kiss. The rain keeps falling, soaking into your clothes, tangling in your hair, but neither of you notice. The only thing that exists is this.
Sunghoon tilts his head, deepening the kiss, his fingers threading through your hair. He tastes like coffee and rain, like something dangerous and addictive all at once.
And you know—you know—that this is a mistake. But you don’t stop.
Not when his hands slide down to your waist, pulling you against him.
Not when your fingers slip into his damp hair, tugging lightly, making him groan softly against your lips.
Not when he presses you back against the side of your car, his body solid and warm against yours despite the cold night air.
You don’t stop, because for the first time in weeks, you don’t want to.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
You don’t remember how you get home. All you know is that one minute, you’re in the rain, drowning in him, and the next, you’re in your apartment.
His jacket is on the floor. So is yours.
His lips molding against yours, passionate and hungry. Your back meets the door, hands travelling to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. The kiss deepens as your tongues fight against each other.
Suddenly he completely pulls away, you open your eyes at the lack of contact. His hand reaches out, gently grabbing yours as your fingers entwine. “Where’s your bedroom?” he says, catching his breath. No other words pass between the two of you as you lead him down the hall.
You stop in front of your bedroom door, his free hand opens it and turns some of the lights on. This time when your eyes meet, it's different. His eyes are dark and wreaking with lust as he closes in. His slender fingers reach forward as he cups your chin. He tilts your head up, eyes searching mine.
He must have found exactly what he was looking for because he finally leans back in. Somehow, this kiss is even more passionate than before. You barely notice the movement as he slowly guides you toward the bed.
The moment your knees hit the frame, he pulls away. His hand on your chin trails down to your chest, pushing gently. You fall onto the bed, a surprised gasp leaving your lips as your back meets the soft material of your comforter.
He moves forward, his gaze never leaving yours. One of his knees props up against the bed next to your thigh. You look down briefly before focusing your attention on his fingers, watching as they slowly work at the buttons of his white button-up shirt, releasing them one by one until he reaches the final one.
He shrugs off his shirt, allowing it to fall effortlessly, showing his toned chest and firm stomach. Your breath catches as he totally removes the sleeves before flinging the fabric on the floor.
If you had any doubts about what was going on, they were quickly dispelled when you noticed the tent in his pants. Is this actually happening? To be honest, everything seemed to fall into place too wonderfully, almost like a dream.
Sunghoon moves forward, taking his place above you. You’re so close that instinct kicks in, and you shift slightly, ensuring you're comfortably situated on the bed beneath him.
His hand moves down, tracing along your sides with slow, deliberate sensuality. Each brush of his fingers sends a warm shiver down your spine.
"Your hair, your eyes, your lips," he murmurs, his touch following the path of his words. "Fuck, you're so beautiful," he rasps, his voice thick with something you can't quite name. "What are you doing to me?"
Your heart skips a beat when he grasps the bottom of your shirt. "There's just something about you..."
"May I?" he asks, though all you can manage is a small nod.
A wave of last-minute nerves crashes over you as he slowly drags the fabric up, taking his time revealing your upper body. Once he’s done, he moves on to your jeans, clearly enjoying the effect he has on you before tossing them aside.
You squeeze your eyes shut, heat rising to your face in a flush of embarrassment. "You're beautiful," Sunghoon says, his words so genuine it almost hurts.Your hands fly up to cover your face, the warmth of your own skin only confirming how flustered you feel. But thinking back to his words, his actions—there’s no reason to be embarrassed at all.
You feel him shift before his hands grasp your forearms, gently pulling your hands away from your face. You let him, but you still can’t bring yourself to open your eyes.
"Look at me," he says softly. You can't.
"Baby," he pleads, "look at me." You force yourself to open your eyes, and the moment they meet his, he smiles. "There you are."
His head dips down, his lips capturing yours in a sweet, fleeting kiss. When he pulls away, he trails kisses down your neck, each one wet and slow, traveling lower—across the crook of your neck, down to your chest, your stomach, and then—your thighs.
His lips press gently against the top of your thigh, a lingering, tender kiss. His fingers graze your skin as he does so, the simple touch sending a shiver through your body.
The closer his kisses get, the deeper you feel them, your stomach twisting with anticipation. Soon, he reaches the inner part of your thigh, and the second his skin meets yours, a fire ignites inside you. The insecurities from before melt away, replaced by a single, overwhelming thought.
The kisses quickly turn into pure torment. "Sunghoon," you whine, "stop teasing." He hums in response, his fingers hooking onto your underwear. He pulls it down slowly, giving you every chance to stop him—but you never do.
A groan escapes him as he finally sees the part of you he's been waiting for. He slides the fabric down your legs, discarding it to the floor before moving back up—closer, hungrier.
Each of his hands grips your thighs, gently pushing them apart. You hide your face again, this time out of sheer shyness. Any lingering insecurities are so far gone they don’t even cross your mind anymore—not when you feel his right hand leave your thigh and trail toward your core.
The moment his fingers graze over your clit, a breathless mewl escapes your lips, the sound completely involuntary. He chuckles. "You're so wet already, and I haven't even touched you properly."
You groan, both flustered and frustrated by his teasing. "’hoon."
He laughs again, his left hand squeezing your thigh. "What?"
"Touch me, please," you plead, your voice quiet, needy.
"Anything for you."
His fingers move into your folds, spreading them apart, before pressing his thumb against your clit. He begins with slow, rhythmic circles, each one sending waves of pleasure through your body.
It feels good—too good—but you crave "more." He obliges without hesitation, understanding exactly what you desire as his lips meet your heat. A hushed cry escapes your lips, and your fist flies up to your mouth, biting down in an attempt to muffle any crude sounds.
His hand moves aside, then back to your thigh while his tongue takes control. He grabs the back of your thighs, forcing you up slightly as he devours you, working his mouth against you with such fervor that your head spins.
It doesn't take long before the familiar feeling coils inside you. The sensation grows stronger with each flick of his tongue and measured movement of his lips, with pleasure increasing by the second.
A long moan leaves you as his hold tightens and his tongue presses down with precisely the proper pressure. He smiles against you, a soft chuckle spilling from his lips, and the vibrations send another rush of pleasure through your body.
Your hand flies from your mouth, clutching the blankets. "Fuck," you gasp, your hand clenched.
His right hand moves away from your thigh and back to your core, but this time he isn't simply focusing on your clit.
Your breath is caught as his fingertip softly pushes past your entrance, slipping inside with ease, your arousal covering his digit. Sunghoon groans at the vulgar sight, and the sound sends jolts down to your heat in more ways than one. Then he inserts another finger, carefully pushing it in and out as his lips suck down harder on your clit.
It's just too much.
A shattered cry escapes your mouth as your peak draws near. You pry your eyes open, looking down at him—and instantly wish you hadn't. Seeing him positioned between your legs is nearly unbearable.
His gaze catches yours from beneath, deep and brimming with desire, and you sense his grin on your skin. His fingers turn, curling perfectly as the pressure on your clit intensifies. The way he moves creates waves of pleasure surging within you, his tongue synchronizing flawlessly with his hands.
The feeling is so strong that your body surrenders, collapsing onto the bed as your head touches the plush duvet. Your abdomen constricts, your muscles gripping his fingers.
"I'm almost there," you whine, voice trembling and gasping.
He remains unwavering, maintaining his pace as the strain in your stomach intensifies to the limit. "Oh God—fuck," you exclaim, your hand moving to bring him nearer.
Your fingers weave through his dark hair, pulling gently, and the low groan that slips from his mouth resonates profoundly within you. That sound—combined with the movements of his tongue—pushes you to the brink.
A sharp breath escapes you as your spine bends, ecstasy flooding your body in overwhelming surges. Blinding sparks fill your sight as your climax overwhelms you. Your grip on his hair strengthens, and your thighs instinctively squeeze around his head.
"It feels so good," you murmur, voice dazed and dripping with lust. "Shit, Sunghoon, you're so good.”
He hums with contentment, his tongue skillfully navigating you through your peak, extending every surge of pleasure until it gradually starts to fade. You fall onto the bed, your hold on his head loosening, your legs parting a bit.
His fingers withdraw from you—but his mouth remains. His tongue caresses your delicate folds once more, savoring every single drop of your climax.
A whimper slips from you. "Sensitive, ah—" Your thighs shake, the overexcitement delivering intense yet pleasurable jolts throughout you. It's intense—agonizing and exhilarating simultaneously.
Satisfied, he finally pulls away. "You taste so good," he murmurs, voice thick with desire. "So sweet."
Your dazed eyes meet his, and you watch as he licks his lips, his lower face glistening with your arousal. Just seeing this sight alone sends another chill up your spine.
He climbs up your body, trapping you beneath him. The moment his lips crash into yours, you groan, tasting yourself on his tongue. When he pulls away, you instinctively chase after his lips, only for him to chuckle and gently push you back down.
He presses a wet kiss to your cheek before moving down to your neck, lips trailing lower in search of your sweet spot. When he finds it, your body jerks, a sharp inhale giving you away. He smirks against your skin, sucking down before biting softly, marking you his.
He continues his path down, leaving a trail of bruises along your neck and collarbone. Your hands find their way to his bare shoulders, nails digging into his skin as his lips descend further.
Kneeling between your legs, his hands slide around your back. You arch instinctively, allowing him access to the clasp of your bra. His fingers fumble with the material, trying to unhook it.
A quiet curse leaves his lips when he fails. He tries again—another curse. You giggle, tapping his back. He lifts his head, meeting your amused gaze with pleading eyes.
Chuckling, you sit up slightly, giving him room as he leans back on his knees. Your hands move behind you, unclasping your bra on the second try. He watches, mesmerized, as you shrug it off, discarding the fabric to the floor.
He’s about to push you back down, but you stop him, pressing a hand to his chest. Reaching forward, you hook your fingers into the loops of his slacks. "Take it off," you say, voice firm with want.
You’re already completely bare beneath him, while he’s only shirtless. That’s not fair, is it?
Sensing your impatience, his fingers work swifty to unbuckle his belt, throwing it aside before undoing the button of his slacks. When he pulls down the zipper, you let go, allowing him to rid himself of the material on his own.
Your mouth practically waters as Sunghoon reveals his black boxer briefs, the outline of his arousal leaving nothing to the imagination. He kicks them off, letting the fabric join the scattered mess of clothing on the bedroom floor.
Your fingers instinctively reach forward, tracing the rigid shape still clothed beneath the thin material. A low groan escapes him at your touch, his brows furrowing as pleasure flickers across his face. The way he reacts makes your stomach tighten—you want to return the favor.
You grab hold of the waistband, ready to pull them down, but before you can, he pushes you back against the mattress, towering over you once more.
"Wait," you whine, looking up at him. "I wanna make you feel good."
"I'm sorry, baby, but I can't wait any longer." His hands find your waist, pulling you further up the bed until your head rests against the pillows. His voice drops, thick with need. "I need to feel you."
His words send a shiver down your spine, equal parts frustration and anticipation curling low in your stomach.
Your gaze stays locked onto his briefs—he still needs to take them off. But he's moving too slowly, teasing you on purpose. Huffing, you reach forward and yank them down in one swift motion.
His cock finally springs free, the motion making it smack against the firm plane of his stomach. You can’t help but stare. It’s odd to admit, but—God, it’s pretty. Of course, it is. Just look at his damn face.
He chuckles, the deep sound laced with amusement. "Is my baby getting impatient?"
"You're such a tease," you mumble, cheeks burning as you refuse to look away from his lower half.
"But you like it, don't you?"
You don’t deny it, though words fail you. As much as you love his teasing, the ache inside you is unbearable now, your body begging for his. The want in your stomach is almost outmatched by the throbbing between your legs.
A groan of frustration slips past your lips as you throw your head back against the pillows. "Sunghoon," you scold, voice strained with impatience.
"Hm?" He hums innocently. "What is it?" The playfulness in his tone only makes it worse.
You swallow hard, your entire body burning with need. "I need you."
"Yeah?" His hands settle on your thighs, thumbs pressing into the soft flesh.
"Yeah." A sharp gasp leaves you as he grinds against you, his cock sliding along your folds, spreading the wetness. The friction makes your breath hitch, but it’s not enough. You reach for him, arms winding around his back, pulling him closer.
"Stop teasing," you beg, voice trembling. "I can't take it anymore."
His gaze darkens as he takes in your desperate expression. "Shit. I can’t either."
One of his hands leaves your thigh, wrapping around his length as he strokes himself briefly. Then, with a slow, deliberate motion, he aligns himself at your entrance.
A sharp moan tears from your throat as he pushes inside, inch by inch. The wetness between your legs makes it easy, the stretch deep but not painful. He bottoms out, and for a second, neither of you moves, the moment overwhelming.
Not only is he perfect, but he fits inside you like he was meant to be there. Like your body was made to take him.
"You feel so good," he groans, his head dipping to press against your neck. "So fucking good."
His breath is warm against your skin as he starts to move, his hips rolling in a slow, steady rhythm. You get lost in the sensation—the heat of his body against yours, the way he fills you so perfectly, the rough yet tender press of his lips at the curve of your throat.
His pace quickens, his strokes deeper, more insistent. Each thrust ignites something inside you, and you whimper, fingers threading through his hair.
"I don’t think I'm gonna last long," he confesses, voice hushed against your ear.
"That's okay," you whisper back, your lips brushing against his temple. "Just feel good for me."
A strangled groan rumbles from his chest. His teeth graze your neck before biting down gently. One of his hands snakes between your bodies, fingertips finding your clit. The moment he starts to rub slow, firm circles, you let out a gasp.
Your hand tightens in his hair, nails scratching against his scalp. Your other arm clings to his back, fingers digging into his skin.
"More," you plead, voice breaking.
"Like this?" He applies more pressure, his movements precise, skilled.
Your only response is a hurried nod, your body arching into his touch. "Yes—just like that."
He lets out a desperate moan, hips snapping harder. His rhythm falters slightly, but the intensity only makes it better. Each thrust hits something deep inside you, winding the coil in your stomach impossibly tight.
You’re close. So close. "Sunghoon—"
He answers before you can even finish, slamming into you just right. The air is knocked from your lungs, a cry of pleasure escaping before you can stop it.
The knot inside you snaps. Your entire body trembles as pleasure crashes over you in waves, your walls tightening around him. Your hands fall from his body, too weak to hold on any longer.
A broken moan tumbles from his lips. "Fuck—baby, I'm gonna—"
His hips stutter, his cock twitching deep inside you. A strangled groan escapes him as he spills his seed inside you, his face still buried in your shoulder. Even through his climax, he keeps moving, his thrusts growing sloppy as he works you both through the high.
Eventually, his movements slow. The pleasure lingers, buzzing through your veins even after he pulls out. His fingers slip away from your clit, leaving your body aching but satisfied.
Silence settles between you, the only sound filling the room being your ragged breathing.
Sunghoon is the first to move, letting out a low groan as he sits up.
You let out a slow breath, running your hands over your face, then through your now-messy hair. The post-orgasmic haze still lingers, making you feel weightless. When you turn your head, you find Sunghoon already watching you.
He offers you a lazy smile. "How do you feel?" His fingers trace gently along the side of your face.
"Amazing," you murmur. "I feel amazing."
"Good." He leans down, his face hovering inches from yours.
You reach up, fingers curling into his hair, and pull him in for a slow, lingering kiss, before exhaustion takes over both of you.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The first thing you notice when you wake up is warmth.
The second is that you’re not alone.
Your eyes blink open slowly, adjusting to the dim morning light filtering through your curtains. Your body is sore in ways that make your face heat up, the memories of last night flashing through your mind in fragmented pieces—his hands on your skin, his breath against your neck, the way he whispered your name like it was something precious.
You swallow hard, pulse stuttering.
Sunghoon is still beside you. He’s lying on his side, face relaxed in sleep, dark lashes fanned across his cheekbones. His hair is tousled, strands falling messily over his forehead. His bare shoulder peeks out from beneath the sheets, and one of his arms is draped over your waist, keeping you close even in sleep.
For a moment, you just stare. Because this? This is different.
You’ve seen Sunghoon in a hundred different ways—on set, in magazines, under the harsh glow of studio lights. But never like this. Never so unguarded.
Your heart clenches, confusion and something dangerously close to longing twisting inside you.
Whatever this is—feels real. Too real and that’s what scares you the most.
You shift slightly, trying to untangle yourself from him, but the small movement stirs him.
Sunghoon hums low in his throat, his grip tightening around you for just a second before his breathing changes, his body stretching out as he starts to wake up.
His eyes open, still heavy with sleep, and for the first time in what feels like forever, he looks at you without his usual guarded expression.
His gaze flickers over your face, his fingers tracing absent patterns against your hip beneath the sheets. “Morning,” he murmurs, voice rough and quiet.
Your throat goes dry. You should say something. Something easy. Light. Anything that will make this feel normal. But before you can, reality slams into you like a freight train.
This is Sunghoon.
Sunghoon, who is always in control.
Sunghoon, who has spent weeks pretending you didn’t exist only to kiss you like he was drowning last night.
Sunghoon, who—despite everything—still belongs to a world that isn’t yours.
The thought is sobering And judging by the way his gaze sharpens slightly, the way his fingers still against your skin, he sees the shift in your expression. He sighs. “You’re overthinking.”
You force a small, stiff laugh. “I just—”
“I know,” he cuts in, voice unreadable now.
Your lips press together.
There’s a moment of silence, and then Sunghoon is sitting up, the warmth of his body leaving yours as he runs a hand through his hair. The loss of contact makes something inside you ache but you don’t stop him.
He swings his legs over the edge of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees for a second before exhaling sharply. Then, he reaches for his clothes. And just like that, the spell is broken.
You watch as he dresses, his movements slower than usual, as if he’s waiting for you to say something, but you don’t, because you don’t know what to say.
By the time he buttons his shirt, the tension between you is suffocating. Sunghoon finally turns, his gaze meeting yours again. “I have to go.”
You nod. “Right. Early shoot.”
He hesitates. “Yeah.” He doesn’t move right away. Doesn’t leave. Just lingers by the bed, like there’s something else he wants to say.
“You regret it?” The question is quiet, but it cuts through the air like a blade.
Your stomach twists. “I—”
Sunghoon’s expression is unreadable. “It’s fine if you do.”
You don’t know what you feel. But regret? No.
You shake your head, voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t.”
Something flickers in his eyes. Sunghoon exhales through his nose, nodding once before stepping toward the door.
You watch as he reaches for the handle, your fingers clenching against the sheets. You should stop him. You should say something.
But before you can, he glances over his shoulder one last time. “I’ll see you on set.” And then he’s gone. The door clicks shut behind him, and you’re left staring at the empty space where he stood.
And for the first time, you wonder if walking away was easier when he was just a stranger.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The next few days are torture.
You and Sunghoon don’t talk about that night. You don’t talk at all.
It’s not like before, when he was cold and dismissive, or when every glance between you carried an undercurrent of tension.
This is different. This is silence filled with something too heavy to ignore.
And Sunghoon? Sunghoon looks at you like he’s waiting.
For you to acknowledge it.
For you to say something.
For you to do something.
But you don’t.
Until one night, he makes the decision for you.
You’re the last one on set, flipping through notes in one of the break rooms, pretending you’re focused when your mind has been elsewhere all day.
You hear him before you see him. The quiet shuffle of footsteps. The faint sigh of someone bracing themselves before speaking.
“We need to talk.”
You tense. Slowly, you look up.
Sunghoon is standing in the doorway, hands tucked into his pockets, expression unreadable.
You swallow. “About what?”
He exhales sharply, stepping forward. “You know what.”
You force yourself to hold his gaze. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
A humorless chuckle. “That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
Your jaw tightens. “Sunghoon—”
“Why are you pretending it didn’t happen?” he cuts in, voice edged with frustration.
You flinch. “Because it shouldn’t have.”
His expression flickers—just for a second. But you see it.
The hurt. The hesitation. Then, just as quickly, it’s gone.
“So that’s it?” His voice is quieter now, calmer. “You’re just going to pretend nothing happened?”
You exhale, rubbing your temples. “I don’t know what you want from me, Sunghoon.”
He’s quiet for a beat.
“I want you.”
Your breath catches.
He steps closer, gaze steady. “I don’t want to pretend anymore.”
He swallows hard, voice softer now. “I just care about you.”
The words hit you like a punch to the gut.
Sunghoon watches you carefully, searching for something in your expression. He takes a breath and says, “I can’t promise everything will be perfect. But I want you. Will you be mine?”
Your lips part, but no sound comes out.
And you realize…
Maybe you don’t have to be ready.
Maybe you just have to try.
So you inhale deeply, steadying yourself. You nod and Sunghoon smiles.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
Keeping a secret relationship on set is harder than you thought.
It’s not just about avoiding suspicion—it’s about suppressing the way your eyes linger on each other longer than they should. About keeping your hands to yourself when all you want to do is reach for him. About pretending that nothing between you has changed, when in reality, everything has.
And Sunghoon isn’t making it any easier.
It’s in the way he watches you when he thinks no one is looking.
The way his fingers brush against yours when he hands you something, even though there’s no reason for them to.
The way his expression softens, just barely, whenever your eyes meet.
It’s subtle, but it’s there. And every time it happens, your heart stutters in your chest.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The first time you slip up, it’s barely noticeable.
You’re standing by the monitors, going over the director’s notes, when Sunghoon walks past you. It’s nothing out of the ordinary—he’s just moving to his next position for the scene, but as he passes, his fingers graze lightly against your waist.
It’s so brief, so quick, that if anyone were watching, they’d assume it was an accident, but you know better, and judging by the way he smirks as he walks away, he knows you know better.
You clench your jaw, forcing yourself to stay composed. This man is going to be the death of you.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The second time, it’s more obvious.
You’re on set, waiting for the next scene to start, when you feel the weight of his gaze. You try to ignore it and you fail. Against your better judgment, you glance up—and sure enough, Sunghoon is watching you from across the room. His eyes are unreadable, dark and steady, as if he’s daring you to react.
You scowl, mouthing, What?
Instead of answering, he tilts his head slightly, gaze flickering down—just for a second—before meeting your eyes again.
It takes you a moment to process what he just did, and when you do, your face burns, because he wasn’t just looking at you. He was looking at your lips.
You inhale sharply, whipping your head away before anyone can catch the way your expression betrays you. Sunghoon chuckles under his breath, clearly entertained.
You hate him. You really hate him. But the worst part? You don’t. Not even a little.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The third time, it’s a problem.
Sunghoon is filming an emotional scene, one that requires complete focus. The cameras are rolling, the entire crew is watching, and you should be paying attention to the details—the lighting, the sound cues, the blocking, but instead, all you can focus on is him.
Because for the first time, his eyes aren’t just on his co-star. They’re on you. It’s subtle, barely noticeable to anyone else. But you see it.
Every time the camera resets, every time there’s a break between takes, his gaze flickers to you. Just for a second. Just long enough to make your stomach twist.
Then, during takes, a green monster appears. The female lead—a well-known actress, beautiful and elegant—laughs at something Sunghoon says. She leans in slightly, playfully nudging his arm, and he chuckles in return.
It’s nothing. It’s acting. It’s professional. But it still makes something bitter curl in your chest. You hate that feeling. You have no right to feel it, and yet Sunghoon glances at you then, as if he knows. As if he can see the shift in your expression, despite how hard you try to mask it.
You force yourself to look away, because this is dangerous. Because if you let yourself get caught up in this—if you let yourself forge that this is a secret—you’re going to get hurt.
And Sunghoon? You can’t be the reason his career gets ruined.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
Keeping your relationship a secret is turning into a losing battle.
It was easier at first. The stolen moments, the quick touches, the looks that only the two of you understood—it was thrilling in a way, like playing a game where no one else knew the rules. But the longer it goes on, the more reckless Sunghoon gets. And the more reckless you get.
The moment happens during a break in filming. You’re standing near the refreshment table, absentmindedly stirring sugar into your coffee, when you feel him before you even see him.
He doesn’t say anything at first—just steps up beside you, close enough that his arm brushes against yours. Your body tenses instinctively, your grip tightening around your cup.
“Careful,” Sunghoon murmurs, his voice low enough that only you can hear. “You’re gonna spill.”
You exhale sharply. “Maybe don’t sneak up on me, then.”
He smirks, leaning in slightly. “Didn’t realize I was sneaking.”
You roll your eyes. “What do you want?”
He hums, pretending to consider it. “I could use some sugar in my coffee.”
You move to hand him the packet in your hand, but instead of taking it, he wraps his fingers around yours, holding them in place. Your breath catches. This is dangerous. Anyone could see. Anyone could notice.
You try to pull away, but his grip only tightens for a second before he finally releases you, his fingers grazing yours as he takes the sugar packet. The smirk never leaves his face. You glare at him. “You’re enjoying this way too much.”
Sunghoon chuckles, tearing the packet open. “Maybe.”
You shake your head, muttering under your breath before turning to leave. But before you can take a step, his voice stops you. “You look good today.”
You freeze. Your heart lurches against your ribs. You turn slowly, meeting his gaze. “What?”
Sunghoon shrugs, casually stirring his coffee. “Just saying.”
There’s nothing just about it. Your stomach twists, heat creeping up your neck. “You’re impossible.”
He grins. “And yet, here you are.”
You don’t dignify that with a response. Instead, you walk away before you do something really reckless. Something like kissing him in the middle of set.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The director is giving notes to the cast, and you’re standing at a distance, pretending to be focused on your clipboard when, in reality, your thoughts are nowhere near work.
You don’t mean to look at Sunghoon, but you do, and he’s already looking at you. Your pulse stutters. You don’t know how long he’s been staring, but he doesn’t look away when your eyes meet. Instead, he smirks. It’s barely there—a small twitch of his lips, a flicker of amusement—but you feel it.
Heat prickles up your spine, your fingers gripping the edge of your clipboard so tightly your knuckles turn white. You mouth, Stop it.
Sunghoon raises an eyebrow, tilting his head slightly, pretending not to understand. He knows what he’s doing. And worse? He’s enjoying it.
You scowl, turning your attention back to your notes. But the damage is already done. Your face is warm, your thoughts scrambled, and you know Sunghoon isn’t going to let you live this down.
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You’ve spent weeks walking a tightrope, balancing between professionalism and the undeniable pull toward Sunghoon. Every stolen glance, every lingering touch, every moment spent too close when no one is looking—it’s all been a careful game of control. But control is a fleeting thing.
And tonight, you lose it.
It happens after another long shoot, exhaustion weighing heavily on you.
The set has cleared out for the night, most of the crew heading home, but you linger, finishing up last-minute adjustments for tomorrow’s call sheet. You don’t hear him approach—you never do.
“You’re still here.”
You sigh, glancing up from your notes. “So are you.”
Sunghoon shrugs, stepping closer. “Didn’t feel like leaving yet.”
You exhale, rubbing a hand over your face. “You should. We have another early morning.”
Instead of listening, he moves behind you, leaning down slightly until his voice is right beside your ear. “So should you.”
Your breath catches. You should step away. You should remind him that this is dangerous. That someone has already seen too much, that you’re walking on thin ice. But instead, you stand there, your fingers gripping the edge of the table as warmth spreads down your spine.
Sunghoon notices. Of course he does. “Come with me.”
You blink, turning to face him. “What?” He’s already reaching for your wrist, tugging you gently toward the far side of the set. You hesitate for only a second before following, your heartbeat hammering in your ears.
Sunghoon leads you down a quiet hallway, past dressing rooms and storage spaces, until he finds an unlocked door. Without another word, he pulls you inside. It’s a small space—an old wardrobe storage room, lined with racks of costumes and forgotten props. The air is still, thick with dust and the faint scent of fabric softener.
And then, before you can even ask, Sunghoon shuts the door and locks it. Then he turns to you.
Your back presses against the cool surface, his hands resting on either side of you, caging you in. The only sound is the distant hum of the studio lights, the uneven rhythm of your breaths mingling in the quiet. “This is a bad idea,” you whisper.
Sunghoon exhales sharply, his gaze flickering down to your lips. “Probably.”
You swallow hard. “Then why—”
“Because I can’t do this anymore.” His voice is lower now, rougher. “I can’t pretend like I don’t want you.”
Your pulse skyrockets. You should stop this. You should. But when Sunghoon leans in, so close that his lips brush against your jaw, you don’t.
His hands find your waist, pulling you flush against him, and suddenly, the weeks of restraint snap like a frayed wire. The first kiss is slow, deliberate, his mouth moving against yours with a patience that contradicts the tension crackling between you. But then you grip the front of his shirt, pulling him closer, and his control shatters.
A quiet groan escapes him as he deepens the kiss, one hand sliding up to cradle your jaw, tilting your head to get more.
More of you.
More of this.
More of everything he’s been denying himself.
Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging just enough to make him curse under his breath. The sound sends heat pooling in your stomach, and suddenly, you don’t care where you are. You don’t care about the risk. All you care about is him.
Sunghoon presses you further against the door, his lips trailing down your neck, his hands tracing fire along your skin. You gasp, tilting your head back, and he takes the opportunity to press another open-mouthed kiss just below your ear.
“Tell me to stop,” he murmurs against your skin.
You don’t. Instead, you pull him back to you, crashing your lips against his once more.
Sunghoon groans, gripping your hips tighter, and you know you’ve lost. Completely, but if this is losing, you don’t think you ever want to win.
The kiss is scorching, heat pooling between you as Sunghoon tightens his grip on your ass and lifts you effortlessly against the wall. A gasp escapes you, your lips parting, and he takes full advantage—his tongue slipping past your own, greedy and demanding. A needy whine slips from your throat as your legs wrap around his waist, his arousal unmistakable as he presses against you.
“Sunghoon, fuck,” you breathe, your head falling back to hit the wall with a soft thud. He seizes the opportunity, dragging his mouth down the column of your throat, his teeth grazing sensitive skin.
“Shhh,” he murmurs, licking a slow stripe up your neck before nipping at your earlobe. “Someone could walk in. Do you really want them to hear you?”
You glare at him, the expression meant to be a warning—but all it takes is a slow roll of his hips, and any fight in you melts away.
“What—what are you doing?” he asks, blinking in surprise as you suddenly push at his shoulders, dropping down onto your knees before him.
“What do you think?” You flash him a knowing look, amusement laced with something darker, more deliberate, as your fingers make quick work of his belt. Tugging his pants down his thighs, you smirk. “Didn’t get to do this last time, remember?”
Sunghoon’s head falls back with a groan the moment you pull him free from his boxers, wasting no time in taking him into your mouth.
“Fuck, why didn’t I let you do this sooner?” he groans, fingers threading into your hair as you begin to bob your head. You hum around him, the vibration making his knees nearly buckle.
His hips jerk shallowly, testing, and when you grip his thighs and let your mouth open wider, he gets the message. Glancing up at him with watery eyes, you meet him halfway, hollowing your cheeks. A curse falls from his lips as he tightens his hold on your hair, taking control. His thrusts grow deeper, his pelvis pressing into your face with every movement, and you use his thighs to steady yourself as he groans above you.
“Baby, fuck—you feel so good,” he pants, muscles tensing as heat coils low in his stomach.
Your jaw goes slack as you accept more of his cock, relaxing into the feeling. He picks up the pace, basking in view of his glossy cock dragging against your lips. You’re a vision. So beautiful to him. The disgusting wet noises your throat makes when he pulls away are deafening. He loves the way you gag when he pushes back in.
“Mhm, it’s yours, baby. Take it.” He licks his lips and nods, looking at you with hooded lustful eyes. You hollow your cheeks, drawing a strangled moan from him. “Shit, I’m not gonna last.”
Determined, you push forward, taking him to the base, your nose pressing against the soft hair at his pelvis. He lets out a broken curse, his grip tightening as he thrusts once, twice—before he’s unraveling with a sharp groan. “Fuck—”
“Excuse me?” A voice. From outside the storage room.
Sunghoon’s eyes snap open, panic flashing across his face.
“Yes?” you call out, pulling away as if you hadn’t just had him down your throat moments ago. There’s a translucent strand of spit connecting his penis to your mouth. You swallow, wiping your chin with the back of your hand. A fit of coughs want to erupt through your chest, but you’re able to stop it. You can’t really focus at the moment.
“Uh… is everything all right?”
“Yep! All good,” you reply, voice bright but just a little hoarse as you quickly pull his pants back up. “I just dropped something while looking for some equipment.”
“Oh. Do you need help?”
“Nope, I got it. Thanks, though!” A pause. Then retreating footsteps.
Sunghoon sags against the wall, exhaling hard. “Holy shit.”
You giggle, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Holy shit indeed. Now, let me go out first. Meet me at my apartment later?” You grin before slipping out the door, leaving him to catch his breath.
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It’s been days since that night in the storage room—days of stolen moments and whispered conversations, of Sunghoon pulling you into empty hallways when no one’s looking, of his lips ghosting against your skin right before he’s called back on set.
It’s reckless. It’s dangerous. But it’s addictive.
And now, sitting beside him at a long restaurant table filled with the entire production team, you’re starting to realize just how stupid this is. Because Sunghoon is doing it again.
That thing where he pretends to be focused on his conversation, nodding along to whatever the director is saying, while his foot slowly nudges against yours under the table.
You shoot him a warning glance. Stop it. He doesn’t. If anything, he makes it worse. His foot slides up the side of your calf, subtle but deliberate, sending an involuntary shiver up your spine. You nearly drop your chopsticks, barely managing to recover before anyone notices. Sunghoon smirks behind the rim of his glass, taking a slow sip of his drink like he isn’t actively trying to ruin your life.
You inhale sharply, gripping your napkin with unnecessary force. Two can play this game. Carefully—casually—you shift your foot, pressing against his ankle before dragging it up just enough to make him twitch this time. His smirk falters, just barely, but it’s enough Your turn to smirk.
Sunghoon narrows his eyes slightly, and you know—you know—he’s not letting this slide. And then, without warning, his hand finds yours under the table.
Your breath catches. You weren’t expecting that. The teasing was one thing. The flirting, the pushing, the secret little games you played when no one was watching.
But this? This is different, this was… sweet. His fingers lace through yours, warm and solid, his thumb brushing absentmindedly over your knuckles. It’s not playful. It’s not reckless. It’s soft. And that’s what terrifies you.
You could have ignored the teasing. You could have laughed off the flirting. But this quiet gesture—the way he holds your hand like it’s normal, like it’s natural—makes your stomach twist in ways you don’t want to acknowledge.
You swallow hard, your fingers tightening slightly around his before you can stop yourself.
Sunghoon’s gaze flickers toward you, barely for a second, but the look in his eyes makes your heart stutter. He knows. He feels it too.
But before either of you can say—or do—anything, someone calls your name. You jolt, quickly pulling your hand back, hoping your face isn’t betraying anything. One of the assistant directors grins, nudging your shoulder. “You’ve been quiet. What, Sunghoon making you nervous?” Your stomach drops.
Sunghoon raises an eyebrow, effortlessly sliding back into his usual composed demeanor. “Why would she be nervous around me?”
You force a laugh, shaking your head. “Please. If anything, he’s the one who should be nervous.” The table erupts in laughter, and just like that, the moment is gone. But under the table, Sunghoon’s fingers brush against yours one last time before pulling away.
And even as the dinner continues, even as conversations shift and drinks are poured, you can still feel the imprint of his touch against your skin.
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The rumors are starting.
You hear them in passing—casual whispers from crew members, quiet speculations during coffee breaks, the occasional knowing glance when you and Sunghoon are in the same room. No one knows, not for sure. But people are noticing, and that’s dangerous.
So when Sunghoon pulls you aside after filming one night, his expression unreadable, you already know what he’s about to say. “We need to be more careful,” he mutters, arms crossed as he leans against the wall of an empty dressing room.
You sigh, mirroring his posture. “No kidding.”
He exhales sharply, tilting his head back slightly. “Someone almost caught us last night.”
Your stomach twists. “Who?”
“One of the lighting techs,” he says. “They walked in right after you left my trailer.”
You curse under your breath. “This is getting impossible.”
Sunghoon pushes a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. “We need to lay low for a while.”
You frown. You hate this—hiding, pretending, the constant paranoia that one wrong move could ruin everything. But you also know he’s right.
You nod slowly. “Okay.”
For a second, it seems like the conversation is over.
“…You free tonight?” Sunghoon asks, glancing at you.
You blink. “Didn’t we just agree to be careful?”
A smirk tugs at his lips. “We will be.”
You narrow your eyes. “I don’t like that look.”
His smirk widens. “Trust me.”
You groan. “That’s exactly what someone untrustworthy would say.”
But despite yourself, you agree.
And that’s how you end up standing outside his car later that night, staring at the ridiculous disguise he’s holding out to you.
A frumpy cardigan. A floral scarf. And—dear god—gray wig.
You cross your arms, unimpressed. “No.”
Sunghoon raises an eyebrow. “You got a better idea?”
You do, actually. It’s called staying inside like normal people instead of dressing like retirees on a Sunday stroll.
But Sunghoon is already shrugging into his own disguise—a baggy windbreaker, oversized glasses, and a gray newsboy cap that makes him look like he belongs in a retirement home. He looks ridiculous. You bite your lip, trying so hard not to laugh.
He catches it. “Say one word, and I’m leaving you here.”
You hold up your hands in surrender. “Not a word.”
Fifteen minutes later, you’re walking side by side through the city, looking like an elderly couple that escaped their nursing home. You shake your head, tucking the scarf tighter around your neck. “I can’t believe we’re actually doing this.”
Sunghoon adjusts his fake glasses. “Genius, isn’t it?”
“I think ‘genius’ is a stretch.”
He smirks. “No one’s looking at us, are they?”
You glance around. To your absolute disbelief, no one is paying attention. Not a single person gives you a second glance. And somehow, that makes you laugh.
Sunghoon looks at you, amused. “What?”
“This is so stupid,” you giggle, shaking your head.
He grins. “Yeah. But it’s working.”
You sigh, looping your arm through his dramatically. “Fine, Grandpa. Where are we going?”
Sunghoon chuckles, squeezing your hand. “Wherever you want, Grandma.”
And for the first time in weeks, the weight of secrecy feels a little lighter. Because right now, in this ridiculous moment, it’s just you and him.
And nothing else matters.
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It’s late when you both make it back to your apartment.
After spending the night disguised as an elderly couple—walking through quiet streets, sneaking into a small late-night café, laughing at how absurd you both looked—there’s a strange kind of warmth settling in your chest.
For the first time in a long time, you weren’t looking over your shoulder.
For the first time, you and Sunghoon were just two normal people.
Now, you sit on your couch, legs tucked beneath you, watching as Sunghoon flips idly through an old book on your coffee table. “You really read all of these?” he asks, eyes scanning the spines of stacked screenwriting books on the shelf.
You nod, sipping from your mug. “Some of them multiple times.”
Sunghoon hums in approval, setting the book down before leaning back against the couch. “You’re serious about this directing thing, huh?”
You shoot him a deadpan look. “I work on a movie set, Sunghoon.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, but a lot of people say they want to be directors. Not everyone actually means it.”
Your fingers tighten slightly around your mug. You’ve heard that before. From coworkers, from mentors, from people who’ve been in the industry long enough to know how brutal it is. Everyone wants to be a director, but only a few ever make it. And you refuse to be part of the majority that doesn’t. “I do mean it,” you say quietly. “I don’t just want to be some assistant forever.”
Sunghoon watches you carefully. “You won’t be.”
You glance at him. “You say that like it’s a guarantee.”
His gaze doesn’t waver. “Because it is.”
Your throat tightens. You don’t know when Sunghoon started believing in you so much, but hearing it from him now—when you’re still fighting to believe in yourself—hits differently. A small silence stretches between you before you muster the courage to ask, “What about you?”
Sunghoon blinks. “What about me?”
You shrug. “You’ve been acting for years. You ever think about what’s next?”
He exhales slowly, rubbing a hand along his jaw. “I try not to.”
You frown. “Why not?”
His lips press together, as if weighing his words. “Because thinking about the future means thinking about the end. And I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”
You stare at him. For all his success, for all the ways he’s established himself in the industry, Sunghoon still carries fear. The same fear you have—the fear of not making it. The fear of being forgotten. You set your mug down, shifting closer. “Well,” you say softly, “if I ever do make it as a director…”
Sunghoon raises an eyebrow. “If?”
You roll your eyes. “When I make it, then.”
He smirks, satisfied. “Go on.”
You inhale deeply. “I’ll cast you in my first movie. You can be the lead.”
Sunghoon scoffs, but there’s amusement in his expression. “Oh? That’s bold of you.”
You tilt your head. “What, you think I wouldn’t?”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “No. I think you would.”
You smile, nudging him lightly. “And then when it wins an award, I’ll make sure to thank you in my speech.”
Sunghoon hums. “What would you say?”
You pretend to think. “Something like, ‘I’d like to thank Park Sunghoon, my first-ever lead actor, for not throwing a tantrum on set and actually listening to my direction.’”
Sunghoon laughs, a full, real laugh that makes something warm bloom in your chest.
“You’re hilarious,” he mutters.
“I try.”
He watches you for a moment, his laughter fading into something quieter, softer. His fingers brush against yours on the couch, his touch deliberate. “Promise me something,” he says.
Your breath catches. “What?”
“When you make it big—” His voice is low, steady. “Don’t forget about me.”
You blink. “Sunghoon…”
“I mean it.” His gaze is unreadable, but there’s something vulnerable beneath it. “You’re going to do great things. I know it.”
Your chest tightens. “I won’t forget you.” A small pause.
Then, just barely above a whisper, “You better not.”
Your fingers entwine with his, the silence between you heavy with things unsaid. And for the first time, you wonder. If this could last beyond stolen moments and whispered secrets.
If this—you and him—could ever belong to the future you’re both afraid to think about.
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For a while, everything is perfect.
Or at least, it feels that way.
Sunghoon’s hands find yours more easily now, even if they have to let go before anyone notices. His glances linger longer, his smiles come easier, and the time spent together—hidden away in the late hours of the night or in the quiet spaces between scenes—feels real.
The secrecy is still there, but it’s different now. It’s not something you tiptoe around in fear. It’s something you choose—a fragile world that exists only between the two of you, protected from the outside.
And for a while, that’s enough.
Until it isn’t.
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It starts with small things.
Sunghoon doesn’t touch you as much anymore—not even when no one’s looking.
He still meets you in quiet corners of the set, still kisses you breathless when you’re alone, but there’s a distance now. A flicker of something restrained in his gaze, something held back.
At first, you think you’re imagining it. But then the silences grow longer. The laughter comes less often. Then you realize Sunghoon is pulling away.
The first time you bring it up, he brushes it off.
“I’m just tired,” he says, rubbing his temples.
You hesitate. “Are you sure that’s all it is?”
His jaw tightens. “Yeah. Long shoots. Too much press. It’s nothing.”
But it doesn’t feel like nothing. The more time passes, the more you feel him slipping away.
It gets worse when he starts missing your usual late-night meetings.
You wait for him after shoots, sitting alone in the dimly lit studio hallways, only for your phone to vibrate with a short, clipped text.
Can’t make it tonight. Sorry.
The first time, you let it slide.
The second time, you tell yourself he’s just busy.
The third time, you feel something inside you crack.
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One night, after another grueling day on set, you decide you can’t take it anymore.
You find Sunghoon sitting in his dressing room, scrolling through his phone. He doesn’t look up when you enter. You close the door behind you, arms crossing over your chest. “What’s happening?”
Sunghoon finally glances at you, his expression unreadable. “What do you mean?”
You inhale sharply, frustration bubbling to the surface. “Don’t do that. Don’t act like this—” you gesture between you “—is fine when we both know it’s not.”
He exhales, setting his phone down. “Y/N—”
“You’re pulling away,” you cut in, voice quieter now, but no less firm. “And I don’t know why.”
He doesn’t answer immediately. Instead, he leans back, rubbing a hand over his face. When he finally speaks, his voice is tired. “I have a lot on my plate,” he mutters. “There’s a ton of press lined up, and the agency is already breathing down my neck about scheduling conflicts. They want me to be careful, especially with—” He stops himself, but you already know what he was going to say.
Especially with you.
Your chest tightens. “So what? I’m just another inconvenience?”
Sunghoon’s gaze snaps to yours, sharp and unyielding. “That’s not what I meant.”
“But it’s what it feels like.” Your voice wavers despite your best efforts. “You’re choosing to distance yourself, Sunghoon. And I don’t understand why.”
He exhales heavily, standing up and pacing across the room. “Because I have to, okay? Do you know what would happen if this got out? Do you know what the agency would do?”
You swallow hard. “So you’re just going to push me away?”
His hands clench at his sides. “I don’t have a choice.”
You laugh—bitter and hollow. “That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
Sunghoon flinches, but he doesn’t argue, and that hurts more than anything.
You take a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself. “What’s happening to us?”
He doesn’t answer. The silence tells you everything.
You nod slowly, stepping back toward the door. “I get it.”
Sunghoon’s brows furrow. “Y/N—”
“No,” you interrupt, voice raw. “I get it. You don’t have to say anything else.”
You leave before he can stop you, and for the first time in weeks, you feel alone.
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You barely see Sunghoon after that night.
You don’t wait for him after shoots anymore. You don’t check your phone for his messages. You don’t seek him out in the quiet moments between takes. And, most of all, you don’t ask him for explanations he’s never going to give.
It’s easier this way. Or at least, that’s what you tell yourself. But deep down, you know that’s a lie. Because every time you step on set, every time you hear his voice in the distance, every time you feel his presence before you even see him—your chest tightens.
Sunghoon might be pulling away, but that doesn’t mean you’ve stopped wanting him to stay.
The breaking point comes when you least expect it.
Sunghoon has been acting off all day—more distant than usual, his shoulders stiff, his jaw clenched. The crew is extra careful around him, treading lightly, trying not to provoke whatever storm is brewing beneath the surface.
You do the same, but when the director announces a sudden scheduling change, everything snaps.
“We need to push the final filming dates up,” the director says, glancing at Sunghoon. “Your overseas project confirmed your start date, so we have to wrap this production sooner than expected.”
Your stomach drops. Overseas project? You turn toward Sunghoon, heart pounding.
He doesn’t look at you. “Understood,” he says stiffly.
The meeting ends, people disperse, and you stand frozen in place, trying to process what just happened. You don’t realize you’re walking toward him until you’re already standing in front of him. “Overseas?” your voice comes out unsteady. “When were you going to tell me?”
Sunghoon’s eyes flicker, but his expression remains guarded. “I was going to.”
“When?” You exhale sharply, frustration bubbling up. “After you left?”
He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Y/N—”
“No.” Your hands curl into fists. “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to pull away for weeks and then act like this is nothing.”
Sunghoon clenches his jaw. “I never said it was nothing.”
You let out a humorless laugh. “Really? Because that’s exactly what it feels like.”
The tension in the air is suffocating. Crew members glance at you both nervously from a distance, sensing the hostility radiating off of you, but you don’t care. You’re too angry. Too tired.
“You’re leaving,” you say, your voice quieter now, but no less sharp. “And you weren’t even going to tell me.”
His lips part, but no words come out. And that—more than anything—breaks you.
“Right,” you whisper, nodding to yourself. “Got it.”
You turn to leave.
“If you love me, why are you making me choose?” His voice is quiet. Frustrated. Pained.
You freeze. Slowly, you turn back to face him.
Sunghoon’s eyes are darker than you’ve ever seen them, a storm brewing beneath the surface.
Then in a hushed voice, “If you love me,” you whisper, “why won’t you choose me?”
His expression falters.
Silence. Heavy. Unforgiving.
Sunghoon looks at you, his gaze full of everything he wants to say but won’t, and that’s all you need to know.
You inhale sharply, blinking back the sting in your eyes. “I hope your career was worth it. Take care ‘hoon, I mean it.” Then you walk away.
And this time, Sunghoon doesn’t stop you.
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The set feels off today.
Sunghoon notices it the moment he steps onto the lot.
Everything looks the same—the cameras rolling into position, the crew bustling around, the murmurs of last-minute adjustments to the schedule.
But something is missing. No—someone is missing.
His eyes instinctively scan the space, searching for you. He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it at first. It’s second nature by now—finding you in a crowd, watching you from across the set, waiting for the moment your eyes meet his.
Except today, that moment doesn’t come.
A strange weight settles in his chest. Maybe you’re just running late. Maybe you’re off handling something behind the scenes. Maybe—
“Sunghoon, we need you on set!”
He blinks, snapping out of it. Right. Focus. But as the morning drags on, the unease only grows.
By lunch, when he still hasn’t seen you, it becomes unbearable. He stops one of the assistant directors on their way back from a meeting. “Where’s Y/N?”
The assistant director hesitates. “You don’t know?”
Sunghoon’s stomach twists. “Know what?”
“She transferred to another crew.”
The words hit him like a punch to the gut. He stares at them, unable to process it. “What?”
“She requested a transfer last night.” The assistant director shifts uncomfortably. “The director approved it this morning. She’s working on another set now.”
Sunghoon’s breath catches. You left. Not just him. Not just the late-night moments and stolen glances. You left everything. And you didn’t tell him. Didn’t give him a warning. Didn’t give him a chance.
For the first time in a long time, he doesn’t know what to do. All he knows is that the set feels emptier now. Colder. And no matter how many times he looks, you’re not coming back.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
Time moves forward, with or without you.
At first, it feels like you’re running on autopilot. The transfer to another crew is exactly what you needed—a fresh start, a clean slate, a distraction. The work is just as exhausting, the deadlines just as relentless, but at least here, no one looks at you like they know.
No one whispers behind your back.
No one searches for your eyes across the set.
No one makes your heart ache just by existing.
And that’s what you wanted, isn’t it? To forget? To move on?
You tell yourself that enough times, and eventually, you almost start to believe it.
Months turn into years. Your career flourishes.
At first, you’re just another assistant, working your way up, taking whatever projects come your way. But then, little by little, your name starts to mean something.
Your hard work doesn’t go unnoticed. Producers take note of your efficiency. Directors praise your instincts. Soon, you’re getting bigger responsibilities—helping with shot lists, offering creative input, refining scenes.
Until, one day, you get the call.
The one that changes everything.
The one that makes your dream of becoming a director something more than just a dream.
Your first movie. Your name on the credits, not as an assistant, not as someone behind the scenes, but as the director.
You should be overjoyed. And you are. Really.
But success has a funny way of feeling lonely sometimes.
Because no matter how many awards you win, no matter how many people praise your vision, there’s still a part of you that wonders—
Would Sunghoon have been proud of you?
Would he have smiled the way he did that night on your couch, when you told him your dreams?
Would he have been your lead?
You never let yourself dwell on the answers, because the past is the past, and Sunghoon is nothing more than a ghost in it.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
Sunghoon gets everything he ever wanted.
The overseas project is a massive hit. Critics rave about his performance, calling it his most compelling work yet. He wins awards, lands more prestigious roles, works with some of the biggest names in the industry.
His career skyrockets. Every magazine cover, every interview, every red carpet event cements his status as one of the top actors of his generation. And yet, the higher he climbs, the emptier it feels.
The first few months after you left were the hardest. He would step on set and instinctively look for you, only to remember—you’re gone. He would scroll through his phone late at night, resisting the urge to type out a message he knew he’d never send. He told himself he had no right to miss you. That he made his choice. That this was the price of success.
But sometimes, when the nights were too quiet and the loneliness too loud, he wondered, had he really chosen his career? Or had he just been too afraid to choose you?
But life moves on and Sunghoon learns to live with it.
He throws himself into work, into press tours, into pretending that nothing haunts him. It works. For a while.
Until one day, he sees you on a screen instead of beside him. Your name flashes across an industry article—"Breakout Director Y/N Takes the Film World by Storm." There’s a photo of you attached to it. You’re smiling, standing on a stage, accepting an award.You look different. More polished, more confident. Like the version of yourself you always wanted to be.
And for the first time in years, Sunghoon feels like he lost, because you made it. Without him.
And he doesn’t know if he should be proud of you, or devastated that he’s no longer a part of your story.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
Success is supposed to be fulfilling.
That’s what you tell yourself when you sit in an empty editing room late at night, staring at the final cut of your latest film. The screen glows in the dimly lit space, casting shadows across your desk, but you don’t move.
You should be proud. This is your film. Your vision. Your name stamped onto something that will live beyond you. But right now, all you can feel is exhaustion pressing down on your shoulders.
And something else. Something lonelier.
Your phone buzzes on the desk, breaking the silence. You blink, glancing at the screen. A message from an old friend from your assistant days.
Did you see the headlines?
Your fingers hesitate before typing. What headlines? It doesn’t take long for the reply to come through.
Sunghoon just won another Best Actor award. His speech was everywhere.
You inhale sharply. Of course he did. Of course he’s still winning, still thriving. He’s Park Sunghoon. This is what he was always meant to do.
Still, your hands move on their own, searching his name. And there it is. A photo of him on stage, trophy in hand, looking every bit the polished, untouchable star he’s become.
You tell yourself not to click on the video. You tell yourself not to care, but your finger taps play before your mind can catch up.
Sunghoon stands before a packed audience, cameras flashing, his expression calm and composed as always.
“…There are too many people to thank,” he says, his voice steady. “But more than anything, I want to thank the people who believed in me before the rest of the world did.”
He pauses, something unreadable flickering in his eyes. “And to those I let go of along the way,” he exhales quietly, “I hope you’re doing well.”
Your breath catches. Because he knows. He knows you’d be watching. He knows you’d hear those words and wonder, was he talking about you?
A lump forms in your throat. You close the video before it can play any longer, tossing your phone onto the desk as you press the heels of your palms into your eyes.
This is ridiculous. It’s been years. You shouldn’t still feel like this. But as you sit there, alone in a room filled with nothing but the echoes of your own thoughts, you realize something terrifying. No matter how much time has passed, no matter how much you’ve accomplished.
Sunghoon is still a part of you, and you don’t know if that will ever change.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
Years later, you’re working on the biggest project yet.
The set is already bustling when you arrive.
Your latest film—the one you spent years working toward—is finally in production, and you’re at the helm. The director’s chair belongs to you now, the vision in your hands, the weight of the project resting on your shoulders.
It should feel like a victory, but the moment you step onto set, something shifts.
A whisper moves through the crew, quiet but undeniable. You turn to your assistant, frowning slightly. “What’s going on?”
She hesitates. “Uh… the lead just arrived.”
Your stomach drops. You already know who it is. But what you don’t expect is for him to walk in with her.
Sunghoon enters the set with his co-star—an actress whose name has been plastered across magazines, her face just as recognizable as his. She’s beautiful, effortlessly poised, the kind of woman who fits perfectly into the world he’s built for himself.
And she’s holding his hand.
Your grip tightens on the clipboard in your hands as you watch her lean in close, whispering something against his ear. Sunghoon chuckles, his lips curling into an easy smile—one that looks far too public, too polished. Too different from the way he used to smile at you.
Your chest tightens. Because this? This is nothing like what the two of you had.
Sunghoon was never the type to be affectionate in front of others. With you, everything was secret—stolen glances, hidden touches, late-night meetings where the only witnesses were the shadows.
But with her? He isn’t hiding. He isn’t holding back. It’s as if whatever existed between you never even mattered. You force yourself to breathe, schooling your expression into something unreadable.
Sunghoon’s eyes sweep over the room, taking everything in, before they land on you. And for the first time in years, your gazes lock. The noise around you fades. The years that have passed, the distance that’s settled, the choices that have been made—they all press into the space between you, heavy and suffocating. Sunghoon’s smile falters for just a second. But it’s enough. Because in that second, you see it—the flicker of recognition, of hesitation. The realization that you’re here, that this is real, that after all this time, after all the choices that led you both here— You’re standing in front of him again. And then, just as quickly, the moment is gone.
Sunghoon’s expression smooths over, unreadable once more. His grip on her hand tightens ever so slightly, a silent reminder of the life he’s built without you. He takes a step forward, nodding in greeting.
“Director,” he says, his voice even.
You swallow down the lump in your throat. “Mr. Park,” you reply, just as composed. The formalities sting. Especially when the last time you spoke, you were begging him to choose you.
Sunghoon watches you for a moment longer, as if searching for something in your face, and for the first time in years, you don’t let him find it.
You glance at your assistant, clearing your throat. “Let’s get started.” Then you turn away.Because no matter how much your heart still aches, no matter how much it kills you to see him like this.
You refuse to be a part of his past anymore. Because you’re living your future.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
You do what you do best. You focus.
You drown yourself in your work, in camera angles and shot compositions, in the steady rhythm of directing. You give feedback, adjust blocking, consult with the cinematographer—anything to keep yourself from thinking about the fact that he’s here. That he’s with her. That you’re finally in the same place again, but this time, he’s standing next to someone else.
Sunghoon is professional. You expected nothing less. He follows directions with sharp precision, delivering each scene flawlessly, slipping into character with the kind of ease that made him famous. He listens when you speak, nods when you give him notes, keeps his distance when the cameras aren’t rolling. And for the first few days, it works.
Until one night, after an exhausting day on set, you step outside for some air and find him already there, waiting. The cool night air is a relief against your skin, but the sight of him standing by the railing, hands tucked into his pockets, sends a sharp wave of something unwelcome through your chest.
You should turn around. You shouldn’t let this happen. But then he turns, his gaze meeting yours, and just like before—just like always—you can’t look away. He exhales slowly. “I was wondering when we’d actually talk.”
Your fingers tighten around your jacket sleeves. “We talk every day.”
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
You let out a humorless laugh. “What do you want me to say, Sunghoon? That it’s weird seeing you again? That it’s strange directing you? That it’s exhausting pretending like the past doesn’t exist?”
He doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t react. But something in his expression shifts. A crack in the carefully composed exterior. “That night,” he says quietly. “The night you left.”
Your breath catches.
“I let you walk away,” he continues, voice heavier now. “And I thought—no, I told myself—that was the right choice.”
You swallow hard, forcing yourself to stay still. To stay indifferent.
“But I watched your career take off. I saw your name in the headlines. I saw you win—without me.” His voice is softer now, more raw. “And for years, I convinced myself that was enough.” Silence stretches between you, thick and suffocating. “It wasn’t.”
Your heart clenches. This isn’t happening. You can’t let this happen. “You don’t get to do this,” you say, your voice colder than you intend. “You don’t get to come back after all this time and say this.”
Sunghoon takes a slow step forward. “Why not?”
You laugh, shaking your head. “Because you made your choice, Sunghoon. You chose your career. And I chose to stop waiting for you to choose me.”
He exhales sharply. “Y/N—”
“You have her now,” you cut in, your tone sharp, pointed. “So why are you standing here, saying these things?”
Sunghoon falls silent. For a moment, you almost think he won’t answer. “She’s not you.”
Your breath stutters. “Don’t,” you whisper, shaking your head. “Don’t say that.”
“I thought it would be easier,” he continues, ignoring the warning in your voice. “That if I had someone who fit into my world, who didn’t make me question everything, it would be enough.”
You inhale shakily, willing yourself to stay calm. To stay unaffected.
“But it wasn’t,” Sunghoon murmurs, looking at you like he’s seeing you for the first time all over again. “Because no matter where I went, no matter who I was with—” His voice drops lower, heavier. “It was always you.”
The words slice through you like a knife. But you don’t let them break you. You can’t. Because the past is the past. And you’re not that girl anymore. You take a deep breath, steadying yourself before meeting his gaze. “Then I feel sorry for you.” Sunghoon stills. You exhale slowly, your voice quiet but firm. “Because I moved on.”
It’s a lie. A lie so fragile that if he pushed just a little harder, if he looked at you just a second longer, it would shatter.
But Sunghoon doesn’t push, because maybe, just maybe, he already knows he’s too late.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
The next few days pass in a blur.
You and Sunghoon fall back into professionalism, neither of you acknowledging what was said that night. The crew doesn’t notice the way your exchanges are clipped, the way you avoid being alone together, the way Sunghoon’s co-star pulls him into picture-perfect embraces while you pretend not to see.
It’s exhausting. But you refuse to let it break you. You’ve spent years building yourself up again. You won’t let him tear you down now. So when you see him lingering after a late-night shoot, standing alone by the trailers, you tell yourself to keep walking. You don’t owe him anything.
“Y/N.” You stop. Sunghoon exhales, running a hand through his hair. “Just—stay for a second.”
Against your better judgment, you do. But when you turn to face him, your expression is unreadable. “What do you want, Sunghoon?”
He hesitates. “The truth.”
You let out a short, bitter laugh. “The truth?”
He nods. “Did you really move on?”
Your stomach twists. Because you should say yes. You should lie. But you don’t. Instead, you take a deep breath and meet his gaze, steady and firm. “I had to forgive you,” you say quietly. “Not for you. For me.”
Sunghoon doesn’t speak. He just watches you, his jaw tightening ever so slightly.
You exhale slowly. “I had to forgive you because holding onto the anger and resentment wasn’t healthy for me. But remember that it made me who I am now.”
He swallows hard. “Y/N—”
You shake your head. “You have a long-term girlfriend now, too.” Your voice doesn’t waver. “You made your choice years ago. You have to live with it, just like I did.”
His fingers twitch at his sides. “I know.”
You pause, letting the words settle between you. Then, with a small, tired smile, you add, “Don’t treat her like you did with me.”
Sunghoon’s breath catches.
“And hey,” you say, your tone softer now, “you’re already a step ahead of where we were. Be proud to be able to share her with the world.”
He doesn’t respond. He just looks at you, something fragile and almost broken in his gaze. But you don’t let yourself fall into it. Not anymore.
“We both moved on, maybe not from each other yet, but we’ve moved on with our lives already,” you continue, offering him one last bittersweet smile. “And I hope you find peace with it.”
Sunghoon doesn’t argue. He finally understands. You’re not his anymore, and you might never be again.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
On the last day of filming, as the crew wraps up and the cast exchanges goodbyes, you step outside for a breath of air.
You should be celebrating. This film—the one you fought for, the one you poured your soul into—is finally complete. And yet, all you can think about is the fact that this means you’ll never see him again. That after today, Sunghoon will just be another name in the credits. Another person in your past. You exhale slowly, pressing a hand against your forehead. This is good, you remind yourself. This is how it’s supposed to be.
“Y/N.” You stiffen. You knew he’d come. You don’t know how, but you knew. Sunghoon stands behind you, hands tucked into his pockets, his expression unreadable. “So… this is it.”
You nod. “Yeah.”
He exhales, glancing up at the sky. “It’s funny. I used to think we’d meet again and everything would just… fall back into place.”
Your heart aches, but you don’t let it show. “That’s not how life works,” you murmur.
Sunghoon looks at you then, and for the first time, there’s no longing. No regret. Just quiet acceptance. “I know,” he says. Silence stretches between you. “I’m proud of you. Take care, Y/N.”
You swallow down the lump in your throat, offering him a small, soft smile. “You too, Sunghoon.”
And with that, you turn and walk away. For the last time.
ㅤ─────────────────────────
You watch as your hard work gets shown on the big screen, proud of where you’ve come.
The final shot of the film is of him.
The camera lingers as he delivers his last lines, “I’m happy for you,” his gaze drifting past the lens, it’s not obvious, but you notice it. And for a fleeting moment, as you and thousands of people watch the end of your film, you wonder if he’s looking at you.
But then the scene ends, the cameras stop rolling, and the moment fades.
Just like everything else.
Taglist: @yunverie @dawngyu @hueningstar @hhoneyhan @immelissaaa @lovingbeomgyudayone @xylatox @i-like-to-read-at-4am @imlonelydontsendhelp @ode2soob @pagelets @laylasbunbunny @vrusha01 @enhaflixer @highway-143 @keloiu @m1kkso @cutehoons02 If you want to be tagged in all of my fics, go here to be added to my permanent taglist.
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Rei's Notes ✎: It's here woooo, no one dies this time dw. I hope the smut improved from last time T^T Was heavily inspired by the k-drama Melo Movie, but the fic is more of a rough inspiration. Once again, I've broken my longest word count record, this time we went past 20k. Had to use a different divider instead of the usual image cuz of how long this was. As always I'd love to hear your thoughts and how this made you feel so leave a reblog or reply!! <33
#xylatox ficrecs#enhypen x reader#enhypen ff#sunghoon fic#sunghoon ff#sunghoon x reader#enhypen#sunghoon angst#hoon#enha#park sunghoon#park sunghoon x reader#sunghoon imagine#sunghoon x you#sunghoon oneshot#kpop#sunghoon#kpop imagines#kpop fanfic#enhypen x you#enhypen fanfic#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagine#enhypen fic#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen headcanons#kpop scenarios#kpop angst#enhypen sunghoon
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I love jellal so much. Especially in the oracion seis arc.
Motherfucker wakes up, literally no memories head empty(more or less, he knows the name Erza). The man who can hear thoughts confirms he cant hear shit from jellal because there's literally nothing going on up there. Also he takes the time to steal a man's clothes off his back after stumbling across his unconscious body. He reeks of catholic guilt and late teens edginess at the same time. Good news he meets that erza person and isnt no thoughts head empty anymore, but now he's gonna sacrifice himself. She stops him and commands he atone rather than die and ok whatever you say ma'am. He probably stole that man's shoes too.
Everyone is telling him that he's committed atrocities he can barely imagine. Oh, except for this nervous baby tweenager who swears up, down, and sideways he saved her life and brought her to her guild when her dragon mother (her mom is a dragon? not the point) abandoned her. He's a knight in shining armor and a damsel in distress at the same time. He knows all about nirvana. He has no clue what's going on ever. He's in love with erza and has been for a while. He had no idea what she looked like or anything about her.
They try to make us believe he turned evil again just from hearing natsu's name. But after the mental breakdowns we've seen him have, it's easy to call bullshit. He offers natsu a power up so fucking awkwardly. Like he stumbles through saying "listen you hate my guts and it's deserved but please let me help you." in a way where im like "please just spit it out. Im dying here." He gets called a pretty boy and a war criminal in the span of like 15 minutes.
#I mean if hearing anyone's name could singlehandedly return someone to villainy I guess it would be natsu#I will never get over the shot of jellal brooding in the woods w/ an unconscious erigor in the background face down in just his underwear#idk if this is a hot take but i think jellal is the same age as milliana#gray calling jellal a pretty boy is something i hadnt actuallyt aken in when watching fairy tail in the past but its so funny to me#jellal fernandes#fairy tail#erza scarlet#wendy marvell
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"careful there, stranger" — rafayel x reader
˗ˏ✎ synopsis:- in which rafayel is stuck talking to some investors, leaving you to explore the exhibition on your own, much to the glee of the man trying to chat you up while you look at all the art your boyfriend created.
˗ˏcontent - reader gets hit on repeatedly, rafayel comes to the rescue, insecure rafayel, gn!reader - purple divider by @/saradika-graphics
˗ˏwc - 1371
my fishie<3: i can see u from here. looking sexy and staring at my art my fishie<3: u've seen it all before. why won't u come rescue meee instead :(((( me: baby stop looking at me and focus on your networking! im not going anywhere but those suits might if you dont pay them enough attention my fishie<3: >:( my fishie<3: ok smartie. dont forget about me during your exploration >:(
You roll at your eyes and drop your phone into your bag, a shiver flutters up your spine and you sneak at glance towards Rafayel. Your suspicions are proved to be correct, he's watching you, a pout on his face, as several men in suits attempt to flatter him into some partnership or sponsorship or something of that kind. Thomas stands by his side, enthusiastically waving his hands around and pointing towards the piece of art the group of them are currently standing next to. You giggle when you lock eyes with Rafayel and find him sticking his tongue out at you, and you watch as Thomas lands a discreet (but direct) hit on his foot in an effort to get the artist to concentrate.
You turn away from the scene—not wanting to be in trouble with thomas, and not wanting to make his job of marketing rafayel to those people any harder—fully expecting to be able to continue your wander around the exhibition, maybe have a couple friendly conversations with those few people you recognise, and definitely intending to snag a few bits from the table of snacks (rafayel would kill you if he wasn't able to try at least 7 of the different foods), but as you attempt to take a step forward you stumble clumsily into someone’s side. Although you're sure they weren't there a second ago.
"I'm so sorry!" You exclaim, "are you alright?"
The stranger ignores your worries, “you have such an infectious laugh.”
You smile, slightly awkwardly, but accept the compliment nonetheless. “Thank yo–”
“It makes me think about all the things I could do to make you laugh like that.” He chuckles, an attempt to lighten the mood, but he finds you almost completely unreceptive to his words.
So he tries again.
“Your smile is so stunning,” he takes a step towards you, forcing you to discreetly take one backwards to avoid standing chest to chest with him. “I've never seen you here before, you a fan of art?”
You press your lips together. He's never seen you here before? At an art gallery that you visit almost every week to look at your boyfriend's work? That's the best he could come up with… the thought almost makes you laugh. But when your gaze moves towards him he must take your eye contact as a positive sign because he takes another small step towards you and asks for your phone number.
“C'mon, you won't leave me hanging, surely?” He teases, but his smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. “A pretty thing like you, wandering around all alone, it ain't right. Let me show you some of my favourite pieces.”
“Oh! I'm not alone actually, my boyfr–”
“We should move out of this section though, I've never found Rafayel's art to be all that interesting. He is way overhyped, I mean… what is this even meant to be?” He gestures to the piece you're standing in front of.
Ignoring the man's words, you turn away from him and look at the art, hoping he'll finally take the hint and realise that you are not interested.
“I've always loved this one.” You whisper, more talking to yourself than anything else. You hear the man scoff next to you.
“Oh really? And how exactly have you always loved this one when it's a brand new piece for this installation?” He rolls his eyes at you, “clearly I overestimated your ability to distinguish between artwork.”
You raise your eyebrows, your jaw dropping ever so slightly when the man continues his ridiculous rant despite a single word not leaving your mouth.
“I mean, really, did you expect me to fall for this pretentious attitude you've got going on. Wandering around by yourself isn't exactly attractive, you know.”
You're the one hounding me and I'm the one with a pretentious attitude? This guy is ridiculous. You think to yourself.
“And then pretending to love a piece that has only been available for public viewing since about 3 hours ago? You really are trying too hard, next ti–”
“Careful there, stranger.” A familiar voice interrupts, “you wouldn't want to disturb your fellow fans of art by making a big scene, would you?”
You smile when you feel Rafayel's warmth against your back, the ring you got him sits comfortably, and familiarly, against your skin as he places his hand on your arm.
A scowl crosses the man's face. “Who do you think you are? You cocky little…”
It takes a few seconds for the stranger to realise why he knows the man who so casually rests his hand on you, but when it dawns on him and the recognition crosses his features it takes all your strength not to start grinning at his reaction. He stumbles backwards, bowing his head and muttering half hearted apologies, and you watch as he turns abruptly and practically runs out of the entryway.
Rafayel’s laughter fills your ears, his hands slide down to your waist and when he spins you towards him you can't help but follow his lead and let out a small laugh as well. The urge to pull him against you almost overwhelms you, his cheeks are slightly flushed and his lips look unbelievably soft in this light, but when you remember where you are—a work event, with plenty of important opportunities for Rafayel—you manage to refrain.
“Wait!” You whip your head around, “shouldn't you be with Thomas still? Please tell me you didn't blow off those possible investors…”
Rafayel's cheeks redden ever so slightly, the light dusting making him even more irresistible.
“What did you expect me to do, angel? Leave you to the wolves?” His fingers twiddle with the cardigan in your hands, “besides, Thomas can do perfectly well without me.”
The two of you turn your heads towards Thomas. The men are all heavily engaged in conversation, although now they are closer to the painting on the right and seem to be discussing it in intense detail.
“So… tell me more about how you've always loved this one, I'm dying to hear about it.”
A flush creeps onto your cheeks and you smack Rafayel's arm lightly, “I can't believe you were listening to that. I'm never coming with you to an opening ever again.”
Your threat is empty, Rafayel knows this. So when you attempt to escape from his grasp he's quick to chase after you and pull you tightly against his chest.
“You would never be so mean.” He whispers, his breath tickles your neck and you feel a shiver sweep over your body.
You feel people's eyes on you but you try to pay it no mind, it is Rafayel's exhibition after all.
“You're ridiculous,” you tease.
His arms squeeze you once more before loosening ever so slightly, just loose enough for you to turn around in his grip. His eyes are waiting for you, warm and soft and familiar, and when you slide your arms around his waist—he is somehow now the one holding onto your cardigan—he smiles a knowing smile and you feel your cheeks warm again.
“Maybe… but you love me anyway.” His words are light, but you recognise that uncertainty in his voice.
“Yes, I do. I love you very much, Rafayel.”
He smiles, a wide, vulnerable type of smile and as you press a light kiss to his cheek you hear the unmistakable voice of Thomas getting closer and closer. Rafayel's smiles turns into a frown rather suddenly and when he links his hand in yours you look over at him with a questioning gaze.
“You're coming with me this time, cutie.”
And so you let him lead you towards Thomas and his potential investors, happy to be thrown into the deep end, as long as you're by his side.
#IM LOVE HIMMMM SHUT UP#he's my lil guy:(#when i change his name to pookie in the game 😞✋ then what#i am in deep#no one will ever dethrone him as my favourite li i fear#like yeah i love them all but he. him. HEEEEEEEEEE#my fishie:(<3#sage.fic#rafayel lads fic#rafayel x reader#lads rafayel x reader#lads rafayel fic#rafayel lads x reader
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better than the movies / rafe cameron
a/n: if ur seein this its my first fic on here <3 hope its good, i actually don't hate it. it's long for my first tho.
word count / 1.3k
to you, love was just something people found in the movies. it was fiction. you had given up on finding love a long time ago.
but here you were. looking at him and feeling so much love. rafe cameron. you smiled to yourself. how did you get here? how did you even know that you loved him? that you were in love with him? you just knew.
if someone had told you that you'd be here in bed, spending your early morning with rafe, you wouldn't have laughed. no, you would've looked at them like they were deranged. "are you fucking crazy?" you'd say. "never in a million years."
you hated each other. rafe was the biggest asshole ever and you were the only girl who wouldn't put up with his shit. in your eyes he was some spoiled brat who turned to drugs when things didn't go his way. you hated how everyone glorified rafe and ignored who he really was. and you were like a punching bag to him. you frustrated him immensely. he hit and hit and hit you over and over again. only you hit back. he was so used to running over people with no regard to their feelings. he had to admit, he enjoyed the fight a bit.
the first time you had seen rafe differently was at topper's party, last spring. it was hot and muggy outside. it had stopped raining a couple hours earlier, before the party started. you were out back, sitting on the edge of the pool with your best friend niya. there were people everywhere and you were starting to sweat. "i need out or im gonna die," you told niya. you got up and walked toward the house.
she shouted after you. "please don’t take your sweet time!"
you rolled your eyes and smiled.
i need to find a bathroom. i can get away from everybody in there.
you kept walking throughout the house knocking on and opening doors until you found one. finally, shit. when you opened the door all the way, you were met with an unfortunately familiar face.
"what the fuck?" he looked at you with disbelief.
"rafe?" you're kidding.
you were pissed now. you were hot and sweaty and just when you thought you had a chance to breathe you run into him.
"get out."
"gladly," you were about to turn around when you noticed something. his nose was red, his eyes watery. almost as if he’d been crying. "wait, were you crying?”
"get the fuck out, now."
"no, not until you answer my question."
he rolled his bloodshot eyes. "no, i wasn't crying."
"it's okay to have feelings rafe, i know you're not used to it."
that set him off. his tough exterior crumbled when he was around you. you never failed to get under his skin. he lunged for you, grabbing you by your arm before you could react. he dragged you inside the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind you, reaching down to lock it.
"and i know you're not used to being anything other than a fucking bitch."
while you would've fired back with some smart ass comment any other time, you weren't worried about his insults right now. no matter how rude he was to you, you were genuinely concerned. you'd never seen him show any emotion other than anger or annoyance.
"rafe, i'm serious. are you okay?" you asked softly. you and rafe stared at each other for what felt like years. he was scared now. he didn't show it but it felt like you could see right through his big, scary act. but he couldn't look away. you had him hypnotized and he could see the genuine worry in your eyes.
"what do you care?"
"im not as big of a bitch as you say i am. i have a heart."
he realized he had you against the door, your head caged between his arms. he stepped back and broke eye contact to stare at the ground.
"i just- i'm going through it right now." he dragged his hands down his face. "i dont wanna talk-" the tears were back.
you stepped towards him and wrapped your arms around his waist. the fuck? what is she doing? he stood there confused. the hug actually felt....good. so he let his arms hang and the tears fall.
"it's okay rafe, you don't even have to tell me."
he finally hugged you back. now he was sobbing, pouring his heart out into the hug. into you. you hugged him tighter. you were so sweet, he realized. he couldn't believe he spent all this time hating you, insulting you every chance he got. how could anyone hate this sweet, sweet girl? nobody had been there for him like this.
his father didn't believe in emotions. maybe that was why he was like this. he felt like he had to be an asshole. not because he wanted to but because if he didn't protect himself, who would?
rafe tucked his head into your shoulder. you smelled amazing, like strawberries and vanilla. it added to your sweetness.
"shhh it's okay." you rubbed his back. "let it all out."
so he did. and when he was done, he pulled away from you and you let him. your heart panged a little at the loss of warmth. but you were glad he let you in. it wasn't as hard as you thought because you genuinely were a good person. rafe just had it out for you for some reason. you acted how you did towards him in self defense.
"dont say shit about this to anyone." good ole rafe.
"oh im so ready to tell everyone," you deadpanned.
"seriously."
"i would never."
"thanks." he sniffled, glancing at you then at himself in the mirror. "really, thank you."
"anytime." you smiled that sweet smile. he hated that he actually liked it.
rafe found a hand towel then turned the sink on, wetting it. he turned it off and wiped his tears away. he looked at you one more time and actually smiled. you stepped out of the way as he reached for the door, opening it and walking out.
you hadn't talked to rafe for a couple months after that. you'd see him around but he'd make it a point not to look at you. at least not while you were looking at him.
it wasn’t until the beginning of summer that you’d heard from him again. you were lying in bed, watching the sunset out the opened doors of your balcony when he called you. how rafe got your number you couldn’t figure out (you make a mental note to ask him about it when he wakes up). but you picked up, and thank God you didn't hate him anymore or you would've hung up when you heard his voice.
thank God you didn't hate him.
he hated to admit it but, "i need you." he said. "please."
and so you ran out your room and drove over to tanneyhill without a second thought. and you were there for rafe. eventually it became routine. he would call you when he needed a shoulder to lean on.
suddenly, his hate for you was gone. maybe it had been love masked as hate.
rafe let you know that he was there for you too, of course. after being around a vunerable rafe for a while, you finally let him in.
you and rafe spent the whole summer together. at the end of everyday, you found yourself wrapped in his warm embrace. you pretty much lived at tanneyhill. being with him felt better than the all the movies you’d watched and the books you had read.
you made love. you argued. you cried in each others arms. you laughed together. and kissed. and held each other, and so much more. but most importantly, you loved each other. and looking at him now, lying on his stomach , the sunrise shining on his toned back, you realized love wasn't fiction. it was real. you had found love. or maybe it had found you.
rafe was love.
a/n: i thought my first fic would be a drabble or smth, but it kept goin and goin and goin. i have drabbles in my drafts and they'll prob turn into full on fics. hope smb see's this and loves it! i would love feed back and suggestions. i dont have a masterlist or anything yet so this is just me trying smth out, thanks @littlelamy for encouraging me. i’m dedicating this to you! <3
cute divider by @dollywons
#rafe cameron x reader#outer banks#rafe fluff#rafe angst#mean!rafe#soft!rafe#rafe x reader#drew starkey#rafe’s actually a decent human being???
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protect me from the monster you are
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@girlinthetardis04 :Can I please ask for a scenario with Sylus where (fem or gn) reader actually IS a bit scared of them after finding out that they're dragon?
revisiting this request to do a drabble of sylus' ver. first time writing sylus and it ended up a bit cringy but bear w me! (raf ver)
again. they were passed out on his doorstep. bloody, beaten, exhausted. how dare they? how dare they touch his treasure?
mc felt a heavy yet pleasant and warm weight on their stomach, too tired and sore too move, they just grunted and shifted a bit, attempting to shake of the weight to see what it was. it responded by coiling itself around their waist.
ok. thats definitely not a heat pouch.
still too tired to open their eyes, they opted to touch around the being. slowly registering the long cone-like shape, almost like a very thick vine. unable to make out this being they finally welcomed in the light and looked around. next to them laid sylus, but... not quite.
horns and scales adorned his figure, when he breathed the air was hotter than usual, they couldve sworn they saw steam one time. the thing wrapped around them seemed to belong to this sylus-like being. whatever this was, it was pretending to be sylus (and failing obviously) to capture them. this must be the wandered that beat them up so much before they could reach the n109 zone.
with a hunters stealth, they slowly slithered out of the tails hold, and soon they were tip toeing to the door.
before it could be opened, a loud sound indicated the creature was behind them, its breathing agitated as its claws grabbed mc's waist and gently placed them onto the bed, quickly going back to a similar position, basically spooning mc.
their thoughts started racing, analyzing everything about this monster. it had claws that could open their gut if they werent careful enough, a tail capable of restraining them, sharp canines and maybe even firebreathing?? what was this thing? there was no safe out but the creature hadnt hurt them yet, so maybe they needed them alive? mc decided to try out this theory by shifting around trying to leave the embrace, a quiet growl and a tighter hold as a response.
"stop moving around, you're gonna tear open your stitches. the twins worked hard on them."
taken a back, they blinked a couple times. "wait... are you really sylus?"
sylus raised an eyebrow, "who else? is there someone else who holds you like this?"
"but- but why do you have a tail? and scales? and sharp teeth? and very warm breath?? what happened?"
"too loud..."
"i dont care sylus! i need to know what the hell is going-" the tail lightlg smacked their face, shutting them up.
"i didn't know our hunter was such a scaredy cat, a simple breath brought on this much concern? go back to sleep, I'll explain at a decent time for now just... stay safe in my arms. i would never hurt my treasure."
♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡
so what do we think :) dont kill me sylus girlies im doing my best. i saw a hc abt fear toxin red hood being protective and remembered this request and thought "oh yeah dragons are protective!" so. here. :D
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hi, anon from "t/b discourse is dumb" ask here 👋 this conversation actually is really interesting and i wanna add a little more if thats okay. (how long is the average anon ask? im not new to fandom but i am relatively new to tumblr and its etiquette... so sorry if this is too long. ive done my best to condense it 😭 there's just too much to say and im a rambler)
i hope i didn't come off as blaming anybody for their response to harassment and such, i don't want to contribute to that. my ire is only pointed toward people who make it their business to hurt others over innocuous fandom happenings, those people who leave dickish comments on fics and send anonhate and mass qrt on twitter. but like i said, expecting those kinds of people to go away any time soon is not really something i have hope for at this point. you put it well: people get so emotionally invested --- and i too Love getting emotionally invested when it comes to fiction --- that logic stops being a factor. people all over the internet also tend to struggle with simply disliking something and leaving it there. you're allowed to dislike/disagree with something without turning it into a moral failure when it's all down to preference and the characters involved are not Real
i just wish more people saw the value in Healthy™ discourse. hell, even if someone's opinion ticks you off, that doesn't mean you can't engage in an open minded discussion with them, if you want to. but people can't do that even outside of niche online fanbases.
i would love to share my own opinions on t/b dynamics for satosugu and to learn why others may feel differently. actually, stsg is the first yaoi ship ive been this invested in, though it's been a while now, and reading fics for them has opened up a Lot of doors of thought for me that i wanna talk to someone about. but there's such hostility around the topic that opening that discussion up to the general fandom public hardly feels worth the risk, as much as i want to. that kinda leaves one floating out at sea here. so i have these conversations where i can, but i'll also block people over simple things. not because i think they're evil or their opinions are invalid, but because i really do just want to have fun, and previous fandom experiences have exhausted me with how much of the same repetitive venom i can personally handle at once
welcome back anon, and feel free to ramble away. honestly this has been a nice side quest for me during the thesis-ing, believe it or not.
if you want to have discussions/share takes on stsg (or fandom meta), then feel free to keep sending them anon, and i am happy to host that discussion in our friendly little corner. i haven't gotten anything nasty in my inbox, and i think everyone commenting and engaging with the posts on my blog is pretty friendly and level headed :)
i think it's possible that some people could get offended by your previous ask? but it's very obvious, to me, anyway, that what you are saying with "t/b discourse is dumb" is "this drama is dumb why are we doing this why can't we just have fun". you can twist the words, but that's the clear sentiment that I think 99% of us are trying to get across here.
and that also does not conflict with empathizing with and supporting people who have been targeted by this harassment. in fact, i would say out of anyone, they are probably most securely in the camp of "this drama is dumb please let's stop".
as @fushiglow pointed out, part of the reason fandom can get so vicious is due to depersonalization. none of these people would be acting so fuckin foolish in person. but across the screen, it is a lot safer and easier to be an absolute asshole than when you have to look someone in the face as you tell them that they are literal scum for your opinions on dick in ass, or something.
over the past few months i have been struggling with this in reverse, actually. one of my gaming group members almost definitely voted for trump (white women... we need to talk). i get so worked up when i think about it, because i hate her for it, especially her reasons for it (she is antichoice). and yet, when I see her in person, when we hang out, it is so easy to remember that she is my friend and she held my hair back when I was puking after my other gamer friends gave me too many free beers (blue moon isn't worth it guys).
one other thing i would like to add, and part of why i'm so happy to post this ask, is that conversations are not sentences. you get to clarify. you get to add. you get to change your mind. real 'discourse' (note: this word has lost all meaning in the year of our lord 2025) or debate is an exchange of ideas, whether it's about dick in ass or how we react socially in the situation of being attacked for dick in ass. keeping the conversation going to clarify these things, like your intent with the last ask, is important and necessary! it's what keeps us from being xitter/bluesky. we don't need to live as zingers and soundbytes on a text-based forum. we have the space to express ourselves fully, as many times as that takes. and i think that helps build back the empathy that is lost with the lack of face-to-face, voice-to-voice communication in online spaces.
so in the words of the great philosophers re: t/b discourse:
any hole's a goal
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you made a post about conan gray and the marauders please yap on this (sincerely a fellow marauders & conan gray fan)
DONT SAY THISSS I WILL NOT STOP
pls, my best friend introduced me to jegulus over the summer and i instantly become obsessed, so as one does, i started curating a playlist for them lmfaooo the black family and all the star concepts going on obviously led me to 'astronomy' first, i think it was the first song i listened to and immediately connected it to the marauders?
and then i started listening to more of conan's songs bc i thought oouu i remember i really liked his first album! and now he has 3 and i hadn't really tuned in for the other two, big mistake. HUGE mistake.
this man has consumed me, to my CORE. i wake up and listen to him, i eat and listen to him, i do work and listen to him, go to school, homework, shower, i even go to sleep to his music on. atp i think i need an intervention, my roomie asked if im going to see him soon bc i just can't stop listening to this mf (sadly, i'm not)
it also does not help the fact that every single one of his songs is about me!!! i hate him!!!! (i don't) but please, conan if you're reading this, put the pen down, i can't take anymore.
no but srsly i do love his music a lot, it's a fairly new interest but his sound and voice are something i can really resonate with, and the flexibility of genres in his discography! keep doing whatever your'e doing mr. gray
as i mentioned, i genuinely enjoy all of his songs but for the purpose of this ask i will give my thoughts on my faves for the marauders!
astronomy: JEGULUSSSSS oh my sweet tragedy, they were never going to make it. also this fandom literally runs on astronomy references so anything mentioning the sun, moon, stars, immediately them.
the exit: listen i know the obvious answer is jegulus (lily) or even wolfstar and yes indeed it works BUT what about the family heartbreak, i give you angsty black brothers with james, can't hate you for getting everything we wanted, just thought i would be part of it it's bad you love her, it's over, you already found someone to miss it's SO BAD
memories: this is honestly just me projecting onto regulus, i need to give him hug.
summer child: james potter we freaking love you..
heather: regulus pls stand the fuck up.
never ending song: this just gives me so much fun summer wolfstar, or chaotic rosekiller, love them.
boys and girls: sirius you bi icon
alley rose: WOLFSTARRRRRRRR it works as sirius talking to remus AND remus talking to sirius, they found eternity in each other.
family line: tw walburga black. i once read a headcanon of musician sirius releasing this song never knowing the but my sister's when i cry lyric is supposed to be brother's (what is wrong with you sad bitches)
i think overall i could give a marauders narrative to literally every single conan song, but in my mind superache is regulus and found heaven is sirius.
honorable mention: grant champman as the cut that always bleeds!!! so fun!!!!
#sweeterelease#conan gray#marauders#im going to stop here but i have SO much thoughts#none of them are good
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horrendously sick and twisted btw
#IT TEARS ME UP TO THINK ABOUT THE METEOR INCIDENT. I AM GENUINELY TORMENTED BY IT#slipping through his fingers.#it's crazy they were actually crazy for the whole meteor thing whoever thought of it needs to financially compensate NOW#i love you so much ill break every rule if it'd mean you'd be happy with me. run away with me#here i am im setting you free im giving you everything you want. could i be part of that? could i be part of what you want#till slips through ivan's fingers. world has now completely shifted#and he can't even be mad. not properly#because this is why he loves till in the first place. he just cant give up on what he cares about. he'll never stop fighting for it#ivan smiles like. this is why it's you#a lot has been said about the meteor scene already but that doesnt stop me from going insane over it#freedom means nothing if till isn't there with me WHAT IF I SHOOK YOU LIKE A RATTLE BOY#ivan was well off. he was eating at feasts. given fine clothes. groomed clean and celebrated for his achievements#yet he was willing to throw it all away#thinking about how they'd probably live on the streets again. struggle to get by on their own as lost little children#their lives would be closer to the one ivan lived in the slums#except the difference would be till. back then he had nothing. if till ran with him he'd have everything#and yet till turns and runs the other way and ivan follows him because of course he does. theres nothing else he'd rather do#any kind of suffering is worth it as long as its for you#till is stubborn. he's persistent. he can't let go.#well fortunately (or unfortunately) so is ivan. incredibly persistent#so here we go again. back in this prison brushing past one another knowing we almost had it all#I WILL GRAB YOU BY THE BOWLCUT AND WRING YOU AROUND LIKE A JOYSTICK BOY!!!!#YOU MAKE ME ILL!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!#alnst#alien stage#alien stage ivan#random ramble sorry i have Feelings
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questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
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My four main characters' dynamics if you were ever wondering 🥰
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Little character bios + without text below the cut :)
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Preface: There's 9 different planets in my AU, and each of them has different kinds of humanoids(ex. Neptune has bird-people, Mercury has dragon-people, Pluto has cat-people, Neptune has mammal-people, etc.) Most of my ocs are from Neptune or Pluto, cause I like them best haha. Each planet has their own forms of hierarchies/discrimination, so that's important to consider with character dynamics. So for example on Neptune, people who are pure-breds(so basically wild animals in their "original" form. Wolves, tigers, deer, etc, too many to name) are considered more noble. Whereas there are ubiquitous "dogs," traditionally the servants of Neptune's god, who are seen as typically being servile and lesser. But then if you were to travel to a different planet, you would be SO lost about these kinds of dynamics. I talked a lot more about my two main ships in these posts, Eclipoir here and Rünoir here !!
My main four OCs seen here are the DHE and Eclipse. The DHE are a friend group/unit, who met through being scouted for the god of Neptune's espionage/black ops unit. They are comprised of:
Anastassia "Rüß" Petrov - (the main leader of the operation, very tough but intelligent. She was scouted from Siberia and grew up very poor. She is a womanizer, loves money, and she was originally very standoffish but is now extremely charasmatic, and seems to know everybody. However she is a dog, but the complete opposite of what a dog is expected to be. Which is why she was scouted to be the leader in the first place!! She was originally more undercover, but now kinda functions as the handler to Noir's attack dog. She preferred to work alone before, but came to appreciate the team dynamic.)
Noir Mono-Loup -(Nepo baby!!! She is a wolf, and is from a very rich, influential family, so she's a pedigree pedigree. She is genuinely very strong and can be analytical, but struggles to manage herself and her bloodthirsty and possessive compulsions, AND she is very prone to craving submission. So even tho societally, she's seen as higher/more noble than Rüß, Noir is perfectly happy to be her subordinate and follow orders. However, while Rüß brings out the submissive side in her, Eclipse on the other hand brings out the possessive, territorial side.)
Seren Baumstark - (The brains of the group I guess, though they're all pretty smart, in different ways. She's not from Neptune, she's from Pluto! So she doesn't really factor in to the whole weird purebred-dog dynamic the other two have going on, which is for the better because she's very peaceful and there's no expectations. Very meek compared to the other two, but chosen because of her intelligence and cooperation skills. Has her own shit going on aside from the main plot, that's more involved with the gods. The main plot with the other three mainly is fucked in its own way, but Seren is lowkey going through that Spongebob hallway meme honestly, but its kinda impossible to quickly explain.)
"Eclipse" - (from a very famous/influential family from Pluto/Neptune. However she has been disowned, as she was seen as ruining the family image with her instability....and because her mother is a terrible person who couldn't accept that her child wouldn't be the heir of the family. She has a very codependent relationship with Noir, however they were separated for many years because Noir is technically the reason she was ultimately disowned, though she's pretty grateful for that. She's an assassin, who Noir is trying to track down, not knowing its Eclipse.)
I have like three seperate time periods I jump between, so it's a bit confusing I think. The first would be when it was just Noir and Rüß, since Seren came in later. Noir was very annoying and puppylike, and Rüß at that point was super cold. Rünoir(Rüß x Noir) are FwB with a very dom/sub relationship/dynamic. The second would be when Seren is now with them, and when Noir first meets Eclipse(she saved her from being kidnapped, and that's where their codependency began.) And the third would be when Eclipoir(Eclipse x Noir) are finally fully reunited, and not at odds anymore, and the DHE are now in different roles, but still best friends.
#id leave a self deprecating comment here but i need to STOP#i love my silles :) wanted to draw little guys of them#mainly tho bcs the thought of 'master -> attack dog -> chewtoy' popped into my head#its obv more complicated but i like the top-down view of it#i sometimes feel bad abt how little attention i give seren but man she really is up to her own way more important shit LOL#gahhhhhh anyways very proud of these hehehe!!! i havent drawn chibis of them in so long#gives me hope ill actually yknow. use some ideas from the terrible comic ideas doc i have#i want to squeeze eclipse like a stress toy SHES SO CUTEEEEEEEE#i love how eclipse and noir's outfits have stayed consistent for like 5 years or smth atp#but w the other two im always like UHHHHHHHHH#rüß was consistent for soooo long but i got bored w it LOL#and seren im just constantly unsure abt and i dont think ive ever drawn hers w consistency#i have drawn noir and eclipse in different clothes but man their main outfits. i love them so so much.#yes i have done self cosplay of them stop asking me sdkhdds#anyways here are my little sillies lmk what you think :)#now to go work on my eclipoir angst fic and my terrible rünoir pwp-#every time i post my ocs im just mentally thinking abt an iceberg meme of all my au stuff#catie.rambling.txt#catie.art.#noir#eclipse#seren#rüß
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"Beating so fast, seems like it'll burst..."
#crow's scribbles#d4dj#d4dj groovy mix#shinobu inuyose#esora shimizu#yuka jennifer sasago#i finally drew something in ms paint after.... a while.#please dont mind how rusty they look (especially esora's hands)....#this is a follow up to kyoko's one yes this is what the other 3 look like#try to guess which starish members i took inspiration from for each of them hehe#i loooove these designs....#should i post the concept sketches? tell me if you wanna see them lol#each of them are matching w one member in one way but still different i specifically made sure of that#i based them off what i think their 2 charm points are similar to love live kinda#esora is the cute and lovely one of course; shinobu is the quiet and mysterious one; yuka is the strong and beautiful one#and then kyoko is the charismatic and cool one duh.#i dont have a favorite design but the one im proud of the most is esora! i think i managed to get her vibe while also keeping the idol feel#i wanna make these types of outfits for the other units but i think i gotta think of something their unit can be other than DJ unit#this can be an au in it of itself but for now it's gonna be outfits for them so i dont go crazy#like. photon = actresses/or takarazuka revue actresses? towa and saki are musumeyaku while ibuki and noa are otokoyaku... maybe.#hapiara and rondo can be a band bc of rei and nagisa but hapiara is pop while rondo is hard rock/metal bc duhhhh (but idk w hapiara.....)#you cannot separate merm4id from clubbing so they're p much just the same except saori is a regular DJ in rikamarika's club w dalia--#working as a bartender there. yeahhhhh.... lyrilily are p much just choir girls now bc thats all i can think of atm (maybe they act too???)#abyssmare and unichord...... hrmmmm.... idkkkkkkk. v-tubing related for sure w unichord but abyssmare i have nothing#SO. now i'll stop my rambling here byeeeee enjoy my losers (affectionate) and my thoughts on this byeeeee
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hey guys who wants another round of tmi
#ive been#this entire day has been a lot and i have no idea how to feel about it#i've never cried this much in an entire day and i can't stop myself from tearing up but it's not because of something sad or traumatic i'm#not used to being loved. or appreciated. or meant to feel like i belong anywhere. i've struggled with being excluded and ostracized and it#has been an uphill battle for a long time and deep down despite my many attempts to heal and get better i've always felt like something was#fundamentally wrong with me. it has been wrong with me from the start and whatever evidence to the contrary ive gotten was rationalised awa#by fluke or maybe people like me because of what i can provide and what i can do for them and not because of who i am and who i am will#always be tolerated or ignored at best and i genuinely was not expecting anyone but a few close friends to care about this and just. andjus#i think something in me is healing and it's still hard to accept but i can conceptualize it and any negative thought in my brain is being#countered by “hey why would you think that when people care about you” and i know it is obvious right. its something i should know but it#has always been so hard to believe that anyone would and the fact that it's hitting right now? i cant fucking stop crying#its almost fucking embarrassing im like this. im a grown ass adult. why the fuck am i still crying like this. i fucking hate trauma man#keeps making me feel like im that kid who was never loved in the ways that mattered. sorry im just#thankful. grateful. i feel like some parts of that gaping wound is stitching itself together and i cant stop crying and for once im not#crying because i'm being hurt. i'm just grateful to be here. genuinely fucking grateful that i'm alive#funny isnt it. how much love can save you if you let it#tmi#rant#embarrassed myself enough i think#sorry about that we'll go to our regularly scheduled ghoap program soon enough#i'll be okay
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doctor confirmed that 👉 this guy 👈 got pcos and i just got an implant to at the very least get my whacky periods under control and hopefully get them to stop entirely
#i also have thought about how i was cared for today#i go to a free place that has rotating doctors so i didnt see the same one that told me to get a ultrasound of my ovaries + blood test#previous one was a cis woman and she insisted me having multiple cysts on my ovary (that was double in size to the other one) wasnt enough#(for a pcos diagnosis) so she insisted i redo my blood test on the 2nd day of my period#which i didnt realise at the time is dumb as hell cause my periods are so chaotic im not even sure when they start and when they stop#the doc i saw today was a trans doctor (using iel in french! love to see it) and after i explained my situation was like#well theres no point to check your hormones here since we dont have a point of reference#and your ultrasound shows you have multiple cysts in your ovary so thats pcos#then explained to me what that does to your body & all that its not dangerous per say but its good to monitor and take hormones to help#and i said i was already considering the implant to stop my periods and they said that can be arranged today#told me the other alternatives and the risks associated with the implant but tbh my choice was already made#i mean of course idk how much cisness and transness has anything to do with this#but i had seen another cis doctor about my periods being whack when they started being whack#and he did an ultrasound saw nothing and was like “well nothing wrong with you” and that was the end of it#i definitely felt more comfortable and better cared for in the hands of a peer#(also i had to try three pharmacy to get the implant cause the other ones were out of it#walked way more today than planned but good day regardless!)
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the fun thing about psychosis + plurality is that folie a deux is real and it's not just a fall out boy album
#pk;m cloudy🌦️#looking at how jimmy & curly act together... y'all have more going on than you're letting on 🤨 and im not talking about gay shit here#it's like their mental health shit is connected ir something. if one's having a breakdown the other is too and vice versa#like what the fuck#i bet if we separated them it'd either make things Much worse (we don't... separate. someone from their Person unless it's Really needed.#and they Are each other's Person.)#but I'm liek. Listen man. stop being fufcking codependent on each other that's Weird.#*itd make thimgs much worse or it'd fix everything Tee hee i forgot to finish that thought. anyways#the psychosis is really psychosising today and stan can't stay awake so it's just me with these two freaks
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