#im going to have a fucking stroke
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Marvel Meow (2021), Nao Fuji | Professor X and Magneto
Bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus leshnerr#snap scans#i dont scan ever please forgive me for. Everything jvAE:KJ i tried my best to match the purple as how it looks in person#i love the purple used for this whole comic .. its really nice#all the comics have different colors its neat yall should check it out if youre able. its a lovely silly collection#BUT GIRL PLEAAAASSSEE IM CRYING#as a part of my Visiting My Family For The Weekend trip my bro and i went to the store#and i told him about the wolverine cat comic and the whole collection and he found it while we were browsing ....#naturally i got it. because i love the idea of cats being heinous freaks ESPECIALLY to my faves#this all did happen because of a cat. btw. phoenix possessed one while scott and jean were baking a cake#which had everyone trying to catch it. leading to. this. jWLRAKJAWRLKJKJ#this is 1000% has 'we'll be back by 8PM please keep the house clean' vibes i'm sobbing LIKE WHERE ARE THEY RETURNING FROM#also can i just say ... i love it when american comic book characters get the manga treatment#idk i just love it ... i esp love how wolverine's drawn in these comics but. this aint about him#i just wanted to gush about my favorite old people LIKE PLEASE CHARLES IS GOING TO HAVE A STROKE I SEE IT#the fact they still got that goofy lil 'welcome back charles and erik' banner im going to be sick. theyre the whole mansions dads#anyway i have an assignment to do. because my prof hates me Who The Fuck Makes An Assignment due At 12:59AM#bye bye hpoefully ill be back with my own doodles ajvlekjla
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HAPPY NEWONDERHOY YEAR 🍡
#its still jan 1st somewhere . right#HAPPY NEW YEAR. HAPPY NEW YURI#project sekai#pjsk#an shiraishi#prsk#tsukasa tenma#proseka#Hatsune amiky acolorful Stage[FOGHORN]#inknow i csnt write kanji OK stroke order has me fucked up#redraw of last years to thank them both for arriving with 30k gems to spare vut i [cough] i [wheeze]#i kind of think last years was. more slayful...[throws a smokebomb and when it clears im laying unconscious on the ground]#OK last year i remember literally drawing that for like 13 hours snd the anstomy isnt goo so whatevvrr#my life is so jover january 10th btw EMU. {EMU. EMU. EMU#WAAAAH#college starts that week but heh.. luckily my class ends before the event. here we go again#and then nenesnlim and the ruis lim and then (redacted) right after and then peace. and then CORALINTHHEBIX AND WEDDIGN EMU ANDPANDMONIUM A#and i have miku expo and a convention in may.. ehhhahe#im finish um one cosplay hopefilyl for cny but thenother ummm stipid fuckifng tdukasa maybe ill finish it for showtime event mahbe not#i hate her. to the shredder#EMU. oooh emu. Ok sorry goodnight
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I'll say that I have been in some fandom with extremely impressive and dedicated artists but consistently some of my favorite artists are ones who technically make 'unimpressive' art to outright loving posting 'low effort' doodles. I love skilled work thats beautiful, but I also deeply admire a freedom from perfectionism and ambition. Sometimes those are just non-complicated but still clearly skilled works, and sometimes thats loving the wobbly simplicity of crude lines vs. rendered beauty. One of my favorite artists back when I was big into Hollow Knight was a korean artist who could absolutely make some extremely beautiful stuff, but many of the pieces I remember most and loved the most looked like this
Even here I know I mentally worked harder to make this imitation than they did for the OG. I can't draw fast and loose, and I like work that is clearly faster and looser than I can do. I envy people who can do things imperfect and carefree. Sometimes thats still very obviously skilled work, sometimes its very stupid doodles that were blatantly done in 30 seconds in mspaint. I don't think its say, disrespectful to love the doodles more than the rendered stuff said artist makes- but my love for it comes from a place that a lot of people wouldn't guess. That is to say, its hard to tell who, why, or when something you make might click with people- and it doesn't take a masterwork for someone to see something in your art as inspiration.
#t.extpost#the artist here is unnamed because they are currently privated on twitter#which is pretty common with korean artists who go on fandom hiatus#but since i dont know I'm just using a recreation#anyway I often intentionally post doodles and simple gags because of these artists#its sort of common in chinese and korean artist circles specifically#and i love it! i riff specifically on these a lot!#but its harder for me to do than you might think! and i still cant be as 'carefree' as many of these kinds of doodles are!#Its sometimes I have to force because my brain doesnt like it. but i want to foster that same free stroke quick doodling alongside my#'pretty' stuff. It sounds weird to say im inspired to try and not care and be 'lazier' but its true#i fucking love doodle artists and I wish i was them
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What IS a redemption arc to these writers, exactly?
Because the ONLY thing that Clear Sky has changed about his behavior, by A Forest Divided, is that he's not actively murdering people. He's controlling. He's a bully. He's misconstruing the words of the StarClan cats to create a justification for why he should be in power.
He's even physically abusive again when he gets upset, later. And that's not even counting his sadistic, self-absorbed behavior in sequel books.
We keep getting passages like this;
Which keeps turning his murder and abuse into "Just A Little Mistake," explicitly PART OF LIVING.
Ghosts are tumbling out of the fucking heavens to powder his ass, forcing his mom to forgive him for absolutely nonsensical reasons, saying that killing Rainswept Flower was "predestined" and "just an accident" and he had no control over it, anyway(???). And now, here is the hollowed-out shell of Storm, who was driven out of the Clan while pregnant because Clear Sky's actions were getting innocent cats MAULED AND KILLED, insisting her abusive husband's behavior never drove anyone away and they just had their own paths to walk.
So what IS a redemption arc supposed to be to these writers?
If Clear Sky was NEVER actually that bad, in the 5 books we saw where he's a controlling, power-hungry monster who constantly resorts to physical violence, that what IS the change he needs to make? If it's both a mistake he's totally learned from, YET ALSO he's never done anything wrong??
Do you SEE how these are contradictory ideas? They can't exist together. It's like the writers are just grasping at whatever insane bullshit they can think up and throwing it on the page, because at the end of the day, what they do is write Fundamentally Good and Fundamentally Evil characters.
Because Clear Sky is one of their Fundamentally Good cats, he has nothing to confront. They try to say "the guilt is the worst punishment for him!" and also "He shouldn't feel guilty for anything he did!" and it leaves us with absolutely nothing.
#Im ngl. I think if youre a clear sky defender you can't think critically.#Or you haven't actually read this arc.#This is the most BULLSHIT thing I've ever seen written#I can't believe people actually accept this. I started off trying so hard to be charitable here#But I can't do it anymore I don't understand how people don't see this#they blamed his fucking mom for his cruelty#they blamed a WOMAN FOR HER ADULT SON'S ACTIONS#Im going to have a stroke#dotc hate#bones reads dotc
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killing people who don’t get an animals consent before touching them &/or ignore when animals are visibly uncomfortable with being touched.
#MOTHERS FRIEND DOING THIS WITH OUR CAT RN IM PISSED.#SHE DIDNT EVEN GIVE TOFU ANY TIME TO SNIFF OR ANYTHING??#Sigh.#tofu came downstairs to see what was up bc person was in the house#But person just immediately started petting her#even tho tofu was visibly uncomfortable and clearly just wanted a sniff test or sm#went to my room asap after that and tofu followed quick on my heels#obvs I let her sniff as much as she wants before petting her (if she even wants fuss) so she had a sniff and very much seemed to want fuss#so I gave her a few strokes and then sorta checked in and she swirled around and bumped her head into my hand (all the while her tail was#pointed straight up with the tip quivering a little every few moments - a sign of happiness/excitement to see a familiar person)#so we had cuddles for a bit until she hopped off my chest to go get water or sm :3#BUT I DONT GET WHY MORE PEOPLE DONT HAVE SIMPLE WHOLESOME INTERACTION WITH THEIR CAT LIKE THIS??#LIKE. CATS ARE SENTIENT. THEY SEEK AUTONOMY - ESPECIALLY BODILY AUTONOMY. WHY TF WOULD YOU NOT LET THEM GIVE/DENY CONSENT??#like. if you aren’t willing to learn enough about an animal to understand when it’s unhappy at the very least *why* would you interact with#one?? (This person literally has a cat as well.)#idk man these are the same sorts of people that’d probably do the ‘awww just give me a hug! I’m your auntie(/whatever)! why can’t i have a#hug? 🥺’ sorta thing.. like. BRO. It isn’t my/the cat ‘s fucking job to regulate/look after your own grown ass feelings.#SIGH..#just. The fact this person has like.. met tofu once. Lived in the same house as her for maybe 4/5 days one time and thinks the cat is#obligated to put up with her or whatever.#(This is how I imagine people be acting around cats when they’re like ‘idk man cats just don’t like me! Cats are just independent by nature#I’m just stood there having to listen to them shit talk a whole species bc they don’t understand consent (or at least don’t universally#value it - eg; with children; with animals) ANYWAYS. CATS ARE A SOCIAL SPECIES WHO HAVE DEVELOPED TO LIVE CLOSELY WITH AND DEPEND ON HUMANS#THEYRE OFTEN VERY AFFECTIONATE AND LOVING AND FORM LASTING RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR HUMANS AND WILL MOURN THEIR DEATH PROBABLY MORE THAN#HALF OF THE HUMANS WHO ATTENDED THEIR FUNERAL.)#If tofu doesn’t like you I don’t like you mate. I am wholeheartedly willing to cut people off if they act wrong with my cat - like - BRO.#IVE KNOWN HER LONGER THAN I HAVE MOST OTHER PPL IN MY LIFE. SHES GOT ME THROUGH WORSE AND IS ALWAYS HAPPY N EXCITED TO SEE ME.#That cat has done more for me than you ever have! She loves me with her whole fucking soul and I her with mine. If she picks up the wrong#vibes from you/you break any of her clearly set boundaries we are DONE.#(Obvs /nbh - nobody here. & generally lighthearted but uhh yeah needed to rant abt this bc I care strongly abt it and other ppl should too)
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aye can i get a fuckin uuuhhhh
break. on my burger
#shit chat#family cw#got sicker than i have been in years my bank closed my checking account on accident work is nightmarishly busy#and my mother is sending strings of long voice memos in the family group chat again#i simply will not be listening to them. at most i'll ask my dad or brother for the sparknotes version#bc her pattern for the better part of this year has been radio silence. no attempt at communication whatsoever#and then BAM like 5-10 min worth of voice memos screaming crying sobbing shaking#I DON'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET MY CHILDREN TO FORGIVE ME. I'M CRAWLING ON MY KNEES ON THE DESERT FOR A HUNDRED YEARS REPENTING#WHAT THE FUCK IS FAMILY FOR YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I'M SUFFERING SO MUCH AND I'M ALONE BECAUSE#MY FAMILY ABANDONED ME. I HAVE NO ONE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I'M BEGGING. I NEED HELP I NEED MY KIDDOS AROUND ME PLEASE I'M DYING#followed by several minutes of sordid updates on her shitty miserable life#which is tbf pretty shitty & miserable. she's extremely physically disabled & mentally ill#her partner had a severe stroke a couple months ago and is still recovering. they've both been in & out of hospital#neither working. partner's adult son who lives with them is the only income in the household#partner's permanently disabled mother also lives with them. plus 2 large dogs 6 cats and 3 each of chickens & ducks#they're in court suing their landlord bc he's trying to evict them but the property is an uninhabitable shithole to begin with#but like. whenever i do make the mistake of responding to one of her groupchat tantrums#she's just like 'oh you know me im a survivor :) i just miss yous is all :) now that you're here i'm gonna bitch about my life for an hour#and ignore everything you have to say and show active disdain & boredom whenever you tell me anything about yourself or your life :)'#and if i offer help she refuses it#like it's just a bid for attention. expecting unconditional love and absolution and salvation from us bc That's What Families Do#she doesn't actually seem to give a shit about any of us as real people. just this ironclad delusion of unconditional family support#that she frankly has not earned#my brother actually did go visit her in the hospital on thanksgiving. driving 2hrs out of his way to do so#and she was a raging passive aggressive bitch to him and threw the gift he'd brought her back in his face#ma'am i know you're Going Through It but so are the rest of us & frankly you've given me zero reason to want to interact w/ ur caustic ass#plus this is petty but yet another way in which she doesn't listen to me & makes no attempt whatsoever at genuine relationship#i've told her numerous times that responding to groupchat voice memos is hard for me. that i love & miss her#and if she wants to see me or needs help or whatever to please contact me one on one either by call or text#nope. refuses to respond to/initiate individual contact. ONLY traumadumping in the fam chat. TLDR MY MOM IS A DISFUNCTIONAL TOXIC NIGHTMARE.
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asking for advice:
usually on top of my uni stuff so i didnt really go through majorly stressful stuff (at least i cant rmber any). but this year, for some reason, i am completely bombing one of my courses. absolutely dying and i did not drop it in time or c/nc because i am stupid. i did not go to the lectures because i am stupid. and i did not do most of the readings, because i am stupid.
exam is this monday (in like, 40 hours or smth) and i just started working through it 4 hours ago.
my question is: if you've gone through something like this and spent the two days before the exam just studying your ass off, did it work out. and do you have tips.
#its an elective class because. i mustve hit my head or something i dont know#so my background knowledge is only the few assigned readings i have read#half the slides#and general knowledge of ancient history in broad strokes#its not like a overly difficult course either im just Severely underprepared and need to be assured#my fuck ass classmates keep telling me to use ai and 1. id rather shoot myself 2. i wouldnt even know how it works#going to bed and hopefully i wake up not as stressed
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every single fucking second of the new episode feels like one of these
#tmagp#tmagp spoilers#im about to go absolutely batshit insane in the tags you have been warned <33#AND FOR GOOD REASON#JESUS CHRIST#“magnus institute” hello WHAT THJE AACTUAL FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#“compelling” “institute” “as a place of power” “terror” “the fearful and despairing” FDSHJFDLJKSLVFKNKVN WHATG#hgwhqelfdwhljvfdjvnkdcknjhbcvhjkxczghxvzgkhj#“without the considerations of being watched” jhkkjghfdjh WHAT THE UFCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK#“compelled to write” TO THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE???????????????????SHUT UJP#“our grand ritulal” ok. ok. ok. ok. ok. ok. ok. ok. ok.#and it's on SAM'S computer#“feeding his obsession” “who's in there” “what did you do (jmj error)” AM I HAVING A STROKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#alice. Alice. oh my god you are so close i fear#and dont get me started on GWEN.#DJDSFHJHHKJLVNFNKLFDJGKHDSLFJGIFLFSD#ASJLFHJDHJDFGNJFDJFV#COMPELLED??????BDFKFJSDKFGDAS#THE FUCKINGF TAPE RECORDERS????????? ERROR???????????????????????????#HDSJKJKGHJGKDKHJFHKJLGVD#DGSBJKGJVKJNVDNKFSJJGVS#JKGSDKJFDSHJKKHJSDKJGDFS#DFKNGJENJDSKJNFDSAKJNFASDJKKJDSKJDFKJHSDAHJKFHKJDGHKJDKJSHVJKNSD#HQWEUDFHUHDFHUKDKALSFFLDSGH#“the magnus protocol is a podcast distributed by rusty quill and ” GET BACK HERE#oh my god#hjkdgjklsdhjkasdfkljhghklj that was INSANE i loved it
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the growler, after all these years of endless torment, has finally been documented to have constructed a comprehensible and doable fanfic outline and has made, relatively to its species, a commendable amount of progress into starting to actually write it down. this is an exceptional accomplishment for it and frankly, it should be praised extensively for being so cool and awesome an
#do not mind this. i am stroking my ego rn so i can today go to sleep believing im god. game breaking npd cheat#mine#by the way new bsd chapter just dropped woahh thats crazyyyy.. anyway gonna continue with rewatching rain code lol#no unfortunately im not gonna liveblog it any time soon maybe once we get to the end of investigation ill feel like it again......#i got nothing to say about halara and yuma looking at crime scenes. i do however have things to say about the explosive furroughs divorce#like what the fuck is going on with seth in chapter 1. im fucking shaking this bunnyboy ruined my life#few minutes after edit: nvm seth literally appears right now i forgor. back to screaming like a seagull over this wretched game on my side
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how i look listening to the block party with a million fucking thoughts going through my brain at a hundred km per second but also not having the brain power to fully articulate everything all at once
#I AM GOING INSANE . I AM DERANGED#ive only listened to a few so far BUT I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HAVE A STROKE LISTENING TO JYUSHI AND RAMUSABU (/pos)#AND HONOBONO !!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK#i have SO much to say but FUCK dude im so sleepy rn and im busy w events later GRAAAAH#will pass out for now adios . will probably scream abt this more in the reblogs once i actually sleep and finish w my business#hypmic#random rambling :'>>
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yt ads are fucking unbearable now. remember when there was only 1 ad. remember when you could skip it within the first 5 seconds. remember when there were no ads
#misc.txt#I understand this is mostly how ppl generate money from making content there#however. I have got to install vanced on this laptop as soon as possible or im going to have a fucking stroke
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mum got mad at my siblings and i for laughing at mitch mcconell’s health (fuck knows why she only learnt who he was moments before) and she goes “maybe i don’t find it funny because i would never wish a person death” and we had to remind her that she was the only member of the immediate family that actively supports the death penalty
#listen seychelles he doesn’t care about us he doesn’t care about anyone. and if he wants to have a stroke on air that’s his choice.#but me? im going to say fuck that old dude i hate that old dude#mitch mcconnell
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hey apple juice uh.... you good? you doing alright???
a million other versions of this below
#apollo justice#i know apollo is constantly feeling athena lying/hiding things in cosmic turnabout#and athenas probably going fucking insane w apollos emotions all over the place#all we need is nicks magatama having a stroke every time apollo says anything ever#[apollo voice] im fine!!#[nick voice] yeahh uhhhhhh you sure???#fanart#art#aa5#dual destinies#turnabout for tomorrow#cosmic turnabout#ace attorney#doodles
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i miss how i felt before this year.
#i always felt like shit before august but not like this much. im so tired of being chronically dizzy .it feelsl ike my brain is melting.#im constantly dizzy and my eyes cant focus my head and eyes dont feel centered#despite cuting out alot of things its not going away. i cant focus anymore. all i can do is lie down for somewhat relief.#i miss being able to focus on anything at all. and just to exist. even if i felt mentally like shit.#id give anything to feel normal i really would. i just wanna feel better. im not saying no to the doctor. i WANT to#but thers so much sickness risk. thats hteo nly thing stopping me from going. otherwise id go to the doc for every ailment#i need an MRI scan badly to check what hapened back in august. i need a scan for seizures aswell and a heart monitor.#i also need updated labwork for blood and everything. but these things are out of reach unless i go to a reg doctor.#and that exposes me and i cant stand it. last time someone actively had norovirus in the next room over and that same doctor#came up to me like nothing and confirmed it with me. didnt even wash her fucking hands. i was inconsolable and traumatized further.#i dont wanna be around anyone. i wish things were easier for me i wanna go to the doctor. i feel id rather die instead. i cant take this.#i would even take an EAR INFECTION which has deafened me over feeling like this. im not even kidding.#health issues /#venting in tags /#vent art /#vent doodles /#self scribbles -#cicidraws#deleting later- - //#im convinced i had a small stroke back in august and i havent been the same since. now i cant take aspirin. every time i do it worsens dizz#dizziness. i started feeling a little better at one point and took it and it restarted my dizziness again. im sure i have something going o#my anxiety because of feeling this way has been thru the roof and has not stopped being thru the roof. its so hard to calm down.
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Bruh people aren't fucking lying about COVID fatigue goddamn
#covid#life of sponty#ive been sick since i got back home on 12th#infected probably 1 to 3 days before that#so im coming up on 2 weeks of covid#and right now the worst symptom remaining is the fatigue and exhaustion#i got up and showered and sat at my desk for 30mins and now I'm so exhausted i have to go back to bed#it's effort to stroke the cat#the other day i did a small physical exertion and afterwards was so intensely tired it tooo about 6 hours of recovery#just to be able to lift small objects without dropping them#shits fucked bruh#also I'm getting the classic taste fuckery and bitter and alkaline flavours are literally making me choke#it's wild#desperately hoping it doesn't last because i really dont want to lose onions forever#i love onions#i was scared for a second that I'd lost mango too but it turns out it's just the mango skin flavour. the flesh is fine#cough was only monstrous for like a day#rest of the time it's not been any worse than ive had from normal nasty coughs. pretty manageable#the fatigue is wack though#I've never been this weak before#it's kind of fascinating from an authorial perspective#this is going to be useful experience for the writing banks
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.
#today i had a pianist during a rehearsal go “wow your voice you just have so much natural talent i mean some people really work for years—”#and i kinda snapped#and i was polite but also i unloaded the entire story of the last thirteen years in the cosmic joke that is my life#this lady got thirteen years of trauma in a twenty minute speed run#she Learned Things today about existential despair and the societal clusterfuck that is the Trans Experience#and how that intersects in the classical singing world in an incredibly challenging and fucked up way#and how i went from scooting under the door into a voice program with seven lessons under me#and then three years later proceeded to fling myself into a testosterone fueled vocal puberty in the midst of a professional singing degree#and lost the respect and support of most of the vocal and choir faculty because everyone thought i was committing professional suicide#if it werent for my own voice teacher (who at some point became the mother figure I'd never had) keeping me afloat i would not be here#i have c-ptsd from the shit i went through in the choir department#i had to drop out of school for a semester because my body just folded under the stress#i started getting migraines severe enough i was hospitalized twice with stroke-like symptoms#two weeks ago i had a former teacher from the early days deadname me in front of our colleagues#she tried to play it off as no big deal and it just reminded me no matter how successful i become in this field#no matter how much work i put in to overcome my past#its always going to come back and find me through people who refuse to learn respect#and somehow! im still here! im making a living in the field i trained for#how many people in my generation in the arts degree sector can say that?? by some metrics i am thriving but jesus goddamn#i clawed and fought and bit and dragged myself to where i am right now and had to find my voice TWICE and the worst part is#she meant well#the pianist i mean#and i was polite when i told my story but it was so important to me that she understood#no amount of talent would have gotten me here without sleepless nights and long hours and blood and sweat and tears and you know what#maybe i am a better person for it but dont compliment me by implying i have some inherent gift from a god i dont even believe in#dont tell me your god put me in this place to teach other people compassion#i didnt brush the door of death as many times as i did for the sake of someone else's enlightenment#its been a long 13 years. hell its been a long 2023. in the last eleven months ive had a fundamental upheaval#of everything i thought i knew and understood about myself#so yea im standing at the gate to hell looking the devil in the eye. try me bitch. ive endured worse.
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