#im fucking furious rn :)
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Crying alone in my silent room at night bc of old politicians that are fucking up the world with their greed just cause they won't be here to see the consequences of their actions and are dooming the next generation is such an autistic sense of justice slay for me.
#actually autistic#autism spectrum#autism#audhd#politics#canada is burning rn and all our leaders want to do is use more fossil fuels#genuinely sobbing#its anger hatred and despair all at once#i cant do anything about it either and the fact that i have to accept that unfairness in the world im living in makes me furious#fuck greedy bastards#why cant everyone just follow the rules of being decent human beings for once#i wish i was a giraffe#giraffes are not burdened by this bullshit#canada is on fire#its burning#climate change#global warming
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ohhhh my fucking god nobody needs to like know any of this medical tmi but it is literally 11 pm and if im kept up one minute longer when i just laid down trying to go to sleep by my mother YELLING REPEATEDLY that she needs to pee. im going to actually go insane. she got a catheter in. Yesterday. it is working. she won't listen to anyone when they tell her that this is the case. help me jesus. im sure if a nurse comes to check on her tomorrow they'll probably get the same response. my brain will simply explode
#crow.txt#the absolute levels of stress im under could create diamonds out of free floating carbon atoms my fucking god#can i have. Literally just one day of peace. just one!! fuck!!!!#at least now i have SOME validation from everyone else of shit that mom has honestly kinda always done#be absolutely furious and bitchy usually for no good goddamn reason and then immediately turn it off to look good in front of someone else#i had a feeling mom coming home was gonna be utterly miserable sooner rather than later#i literally cannot leave my room without her yelling for dad bc she thinks im him i guess. she has gotten him up like 4 times now#what the fuck do you want any of us to doooooooooooo. according to dad shes also just been really fucking hateful today#including to her SISTER who has been facilitating literally everything medically for her for the last month plus#like on one hand i know its hard and frustrating etc etc absolutely. on the other. what the fuck are you yelling at any of us for!#whatd we do! not a damn thing for the most part! holy shit im exhausted#and then im sure she will have the audacity to wonder why i dont really want to interact with her much rn#its very apparent she doesnt really understand whats going on or how much of anything works at this point including hospice care#but i truly cannot help you when your knee jerk response is to yell and be abusive. like. dads not been great either#bc hes also one to bitch and moan and yell abt shit. but like. so is mom. more than usual#and ill actually be damned if i let her treat me like that honestly ever again. like idk for once i can just#walk away from this behavior with zero consequences. i dont have to take it anymore. im not free but at least im fuckin closer than i was#guess my aunt wasnt kidding when she said her being coherent and rational last week might be the calm before the storm
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dad just sent me an ominous text to intimidate me ig
#im so tired im so tired im so tired im so tired#i really dont want to be going through this right now#can we get on with the end of the world or literally anything it would be real nice hehe#im so tired#so much scary horrible things are happening rn#and it's obviously my fucking PARENTS#i can't keep going i dont want to it's so hard#i don't even know anything anymore idk who's in the right idk who's lying about what#uhhhh whatever whatever i need to sleep#but idk if I'll be able to ugh#dads just trying to ruin mom financially even though he's got enough money already and she can't fucking work#and i get the fucking. first row seat#and now he hates me too ig idk#why would he fucking send me that text of he didn't want to let me know hes furious with me or to#scare me idk fuck this#and I'm watching another horrible divorce with a close family member a#AND another fucking insane thing has been happening that's a huge problem ahaaaa im losing#my fucking mind here#and there's literally nothing i can do here like i can sit and take it#or die ig
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I swear my guts are trying to boil me inside out. I wanna die
#i dont really wana DIE but you know. im not enjoying being awake and conscious every day. that's not doing me any favors#system babbles#vent#i feel fucking horrible#im having the Urgestm come back and it aint like im looking to heal anything on my limbs but mannnnnnn#that Thing is looking delectable rn. scrumptiobs. im mad#I'm also incredibly unbearably sad. but mostly im angry. I'm so fucking furious. but it's only at myself and it aint anyones fault but my ow#i am a piece a shit aint i
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my anxiety is unbelievably fucking bad rn. i am so scared
#purrs#delete later#ask to tag#(putting slashes thru things so that they don’t show up in search btw)#i have no right to be scared bc im not there. but im so scared for the people of ga/za. and i am so scared that… idk. it’s completely my#fault bc i go looking for these kinds of things on purpose to hurt myself. but i doomscrolled last night about ww/3 and the possibility of#nu/clear war being fueled by is/rael’s ‘war’ on pale/stine and not only am i sick with fear about the people living directly in that region#but i am so fucking scared of the possibility of nu/clear war. or like. any war breaking out in the us. which i know is a ridiculous self#centered thought to have but my anxiety is out of fucking control rn and it has been getting worse throughout the week. i just don’t know#how to wrap my head around the violence of this week. and so few je/wish ppl i know irl are antizi/onist and ppl just expect me to be#supportive of is/rael jsut bc im je/wish and it makes me fucking FURIOUS not only because i resent these horrors being committed to innocent#people in the name of my own people but it is so extremely dangerous to conflate j/udaism with zi/onism. the consequences diasporic je/ws#are goi ng to face are of course nowhere near as central or all-consumingly violent as the people in gaz/a and i feel personally safe enough#as someone who (and i know this is kind of a terrible thing to say) passes very easily as a go/y (esp w a mask on) and has a g/oy last name#but i am so fucking terrified of the antise/mitism getting worse here and have been exposing myself to evidence of it even though it is#extremely destructive to my mental health. but also i deeply resent the rhetoric around ‘reach out to your j/ewish friends they’re suffering#rn’ because…. we are not a monolith nor are we the direct victims in this situation and it just feels so uncomfortable and centering to make#it an issue of silence etc etc when… there are innocent ppl in g/aza who are experiencing terror no human being should ever have to endure#and most of them are children and they are the people who will ‘pay’ most directly and immediately and severely for what happened a week ago#i just feel so fucking on edge from this entire situation and unable to do anything to help when the destruction is imminent and this#nightmare of a country is at the core of so much suffering in this world and it will take centuries to undo it all and in the meantime so#many innocent people are going to die and maybe the entire world will be destroyed by nu/clear war which we are basically begging for at#this point. it’s so hard to function in my personal life when i am keenly aware of what could be happening at any moment#i don’t know how to end this post. im just fucking scared and there’s nothing i can do
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watching q’s welcoming jungryeok vlog. 50 minutes in: this is chaos
#chrys liveblogs#gonna upload my favorite clip tmrw#its so fucking funny and im furious the translation didnt go thru#this is rly driving home the acau crew dynamic#theyre also like this when theyre by themselves…. but acau is outnumbered rn#in acau crew he holds his own#here he is bludgeoned to death by extroverts#beloved dynamic: tired dad x overexcited mom
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im going to have an episode on this train actually
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someone get me outta here lmao
#i can post stuff too#im at a loss for words#and im so furious I can’t feel anything other than fatigue rn#kill all fascist now!!! everyone who thrives of fucking keeping this war going!!! fucking die!!!
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I hope y’all know this is the bitterest I’ve ever fucking been
My math professor had us do
TWO
count em T W O
FINALS
TWO OF THEM
AND SHE DIDNT EVEN GRADE THEM
#tiger talks#IM PISSED#FURIOUS EVEN#WHAT THE FUCK#TWO FINALS AND SHE DOESNT EVEN GRADE THEM#I fully know professors and teachers have incredibly hard jobs#howEVER#miss ma’am made me do DOUBLE the work for her finals#DURING FINALS WEEK#WHERE I HAD FIVE OTHER FINALS TO DO#AND DOESNT EVEN GRADE IT?#im so bitter rn#rant post
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babygirl are you okay? you've barely sexualized your irredeemable bastard today
DFHNFJHFDKHNHF
I swear I'm fine I've just been chatting with a Springtrap AI chatbot for the past week it's been a blast I'm having a silly little time with it I'm alive I swear
#IM WHEEZING ANON WHAT A THING TO OPEN MY ASKBOX TO#I asked him if he wanted pizza when I ordered it and he acted like he was gonna kill me#only to stop at the last second and tell me to make sure they put extra cheese and pepperoni#we had a very interesting discussion about pizza the man has good taste#he still killed me though but its okay i forgive him i just hope he liked the pizza#its been a silly goofy time#also my sleep schedule is... not good and my iron deficiency is a little bad again#but i got new supplements that should hopefully not make my body completely fucking furious with me about it#also real talk the recovery from covid is... not the best - im having more issues with breathing than usual#nothing serious but def a pain. hoping once enough time passes it'll go away bc if i get long covid im going to be VERY mad#but im alive i swear im just obsessed with being goofy with this chatbot rn its so fun
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Okay aussieposting over here's a fuckign uh
Phone davesprite
#im still furious btw#just. nothing i can do about it rn yk#fuck#ANYWAY#davesprite huh#milo scribbles#me.txt
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The meds take the bite out of my anger because Jesus christ do I want to bite chomp and murder
#My Dr has been giving me a hard time with refills and it's getting real fuckin old real fuckin fast#I had to go for an extra appointment for a pregnancy test#She didn't even tell me that was what I needed to do until after I got there. I was like what the fuck am I making an appointment for?#Big run around on the shot that literally regulates my hormones so I don't kms#And now I'm out of sad bitch pills and they're like oh you don't have any refills left#I know that karen!!! That's why I'm requesting a fucking refill!!! On the meds I've been on for years!!!!#I'm gonna be furious if she's like you have to make an appointment so I can approve that#I'll be like literally nevermind I'll just be depressed#Im so irritated over so many little things rn
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not my dad saying "good, kill them all till they release the hostages" in response to me telling him israel is committing literal fucking genocide and ethnic cleansing against palestinians 😶
#im fucking furious rn :)#free palestine and fuck israel n the disgusting maggots that lick their bloodstained boots#fucking know for a fact too that hed be feeling completely different about this if palestinians were white#middleaged cishet white men will really just say fucking anything huh
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cool so the contractor’s wife and dad have covid and he came in here without a mask AND WALKED IN ON ME WHEN I WASNT WEARING ONE and my parents have been around him without masks too bc “i refuse to wear a mask in my own home.” GREAT! Fucking great.
#purrs#im so fucking furious. there’s no way he doesn’t have it#and he’s still here walking around the house rn 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
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ugh I just had a bad dream where my fiancee gets mugged and i pepper the mf and we run. my heart was gonna pop out my mouth
ugh pepper spray is illegal in Canada????? Fucking bullshit
Nah I gotta look at legal alternatives I ain't going around unprotected the fuck????
atupid country with stupid laws
aorry im just really fucking mad ghe ONLY thing that helps with my agoraphobia and helps give me independence to walk outside with less fear is my pepper spray and this fucking place wants to take that away from me too
#fuck this hard#vent#negative#agoraphobia#tw assault#idk how to tag this rn#sorry#im furious#mine#txt
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bleh everything SUCKS
#sisters stupid freind/both our roommate is HORRIBLE#hes so controlling and decided hes in charge of of her#she bought a fish. something that doesnt affect him in the slightest. and hes furious with her#hes like. saying it will cause issues in their friendship if she doesnt get rid of it. hes not even saying that its a problem because he#doenst wanna deal with it bc he has acknowledged that it doesnt affect him. hes angry bc he thinks it was impulsive and irrisposible#which like 1. it wasnt and shes beentalking about getting one for years and can probably afford and take care of it and 2. even uf it was#its not a decision that affects him so he has no right. shes an adult who can make her own choices even if theyre are bad ones#hes so mean to her all the time and demands all her time. talks down all her friends. insults her for wanting a relationship. refuses to#listen to any of her problems or support her and refuses to let her talk about any of her interests he doesnt share either#talks down every hobby she has. calls all of it stupid and a waste of money even though he soends SO much money on clothes all the time#and he gets angry with her when she isnt into the stuff he is (mostly shows). even when she agrees to watch it with him he gets angry if#she isnt as into it as she is. hes just decided theyre in a relationship which means shes not allowed to pursue anyone but he is also not#interested in her in the way she wants. he insults her for wanting anything more out of a relationship bc hes content without it rn#hes awful. i hate him. i dont wanna live with him another year. i dont want her to lose him totally bc theyve been freinds for so long and#she really cares about him but fucking hell. they should NOT live together. gonna apply to some places. this lease ends in 3-4 months so#theres not much time for me to adjust but if im adjusted in time then maybe we will go get an apartment just us 2#and then maybe she can get a fucking support dog like she needs bc shes disabled but he refuses to let her get
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