#im expected to be weaker and softer

[tremendously-crazy]

Relationship envy except I envy the bond between iconic fictional characters Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

[overandundertarot]

How Can You Enhance Your Beauty?

What can you do to acentuate you features and which style/aesthetic suits you best? Lets take a look!

Please pick a card; (1-4, left to right)

Pile One(Ace of Spades)

Cards; The Empress, The world, King of Cups, Ace of Pentacles.

Pile one you have that supple, vivacious feminine beauty. Think of ancient portrayals of feminine goddesses. The way women were portrayed in renaissance paintings. Fuller figured, softer around the edges. You may be a romantic in terms of kibbe body types. You may have a wide set body and thicker bones. You could be tall, and may appear larger than you actually are. That is to say, because of the rouded nature of your appearence people may expect you to be heavier than you are or weaker/lacking muscle. A good example is Marylin monroe who was actually quite petite and was said to diet often despite her voluptuous appearence. You could have big eyes and a vacant look about you, a natural poise and grace. Despite this overt feminity, you could have androginous features. That is to say, you may have a larger nose than others, a wider jaw, slighty bigger feet, some 'traditionally masculine features' bleed into your appearence. But these just add to your beauty in a subtle way. You have a welcoming, receptive energy at first glance, think of a cancer rising. You may have had issues with people underestimating you or looking down on you because of this initial soft and welcoming appearence. People may have even sexualised you in the past, placing strange expectations on you and im also hearing that some of them outright started telling you about their sexual fantasies involving your body? Pile one, you look best when you look abundant. When you look like you are well taken care of and happy with your life, determined. When you are at a place in your life where you feel fulfilled and balanced, there is a natural glow that comes over you and enhances your beauty. Jewelry also enhances your beauty, specifically jewelry that looks expensive and tasteful. You may look really good in business casual style outfits. When you combine feminine and masculine elements in your look, it really complements your features . You look really good when you give your soft features an 'edge' this can be with makeup, fashion, whatever way you want. It's good to let some of your personality shine through, to communicate that you look soft but have a backbone. You may favour more structured, masculine looks but have had poor experiences with styling these because they may not have fit the way you wanted/imagined them on your body. Find a way to work around that, incorporate things like shoulder pads, strategically loose clothing, boots etc. There're some pictures of jennifer lawrence walking dogs that went semi-viral, her outift in those pictures would suit you well. That kind of quiet luxury fashion look.

Pile Two(Ace of Hearts)

Cards; Queen of cups reversed, 3 of swords reversed, King of swords reversed, The Fool.

Pile 2 you have a melancholy sort of beauty. There is something haunting and sad about you. When people look at you, there is a depth that they can feel. Your emotions, your sadness, you wear them on your face. This is not to say that you are sad all the time, its just that it's easy for people to attach those qualities to you. People wonder what you could be thinking about when they look at you, how your life may be going and who your friends are. Sad girl aesthetic, you may like to wear muted colours, grunge/emo fashion. You could have saturnian features; strong bone structure, deep set eyes/an intense gaze. Prominent eyes. I'm seeing that some of you have undereye circles and forehead lines/crinkles. Freckles as well. Whatever you do, it seems picturesque; perfectly imperfect. If someone were to capture you in the moment, the picture would come out with a raw, dark academia feel. You have a certain vibe that transcends what you wear/look like. You can enhance your beauty by trying something new. A lot of you who chose this pile have a comfort zone that is enforced solely through force of habit. Don't be afraid to try things that pique your interest even if it may seem strange to the people around you. Some of you want to completely change your aesthetic but are worried that you will regret it and have to buy a whole new wardrobe/makeup collection etc afterwards. It seems that a lot of looks, aesthetics appeal to you but you're not sure which to focus on. Some of you used to have a more sexy/mature vibe but feel the need to cover up/dress more conservativly recently. You'd do well to slowly incorporate the new style and grow comfortable in it day to day. For others, you're perfectly fine the way you are but are feeling stagnant. Social media trends hold quite the sway on you and you are worried about how people perceive you because you don't have the newest clothes/jewelry/shoes and dress similarly each day. You may also like to thrift your clothes and have some well loved favourites that you wear constantly. It seems there's really no issue, if you feel the want to change, try it to see if the satisfaction is as great as you would have thought. Otherwise, its not really worth the hassle. It seems that you also need to change your perspective/the content you consume. Content that aligns with your interests and natural inclinations will help you feel more secure in your habits and the way you choose to present yourself. Some of you could be thinking about undegoing surgery and making a more permanent and drastic change to your features. You are being advised to think long and hard as to why you wish to do that, and if you will really be satisfied with the results. Beauty standards change, you may find that your 'flaw' will be the next beauty trend or that you never really hated the a way a certain feature looked after all.

Pile Three(Ace of Diamonds)

Cards; The Magician. Nine of wands reversed, Ace of pentacles, Three of pentacles.

Pile 3, you have the ability to present yourself however you desire. You have a very versatile look and many makeup and fashion styles suit you. Some of you are aware of this and take advantage of the fact. But others aren't and like to stay within a single fashion/makeup style. Either way it looks good on you and you are often complimented for your looks. You are quite creative too, and customise your clothes/hair makeup to fit your personality. Something about your hair stands out. It seems that your personality may come as a surprise to people who perceive only your looks as a first impression. You could also be quite spiritual/witchy and use glamours and charms to exert a specific appeal depending on your goal. You can enhance your beauty by going for an understated look. I'm seeing that you haven't really tried simplistic makeup before, or you don't wear it often. Consulting an external influence could also help you enhance your looks. Such as colour analysis, analysing your features(like the kibbe body types), or even asking a friend what they think you should do. I'm seeing that you are generally happy with where you are in terms of looks/beauty and could just be looking to spice things up/suggestions because you are an open minded and optimistic sort of person. A message for you is also to utilise beauty sevices like spas, make up studios, stylists etc. You are good at styling yourself but other factors in your life may be occupying your time/energy and taking care of yourself may start to feel like a burden. Take the opportunity to treat yourself and relax, you deserve it!

Pile Four(Ace of Flowers)

Cards; 7 of swords, Knight of cups,4 of swords reversed, 3 of swords.

Pile 4 you have a duaity about you. I'm seeing that you dress according to how you feel. You have moments where you don't want to talk to anyone and would rather stay at home. During those moments you wear athleisure, comfortable clothes and put little effort into your appearence. But when you feel more confident and extroverted you put on bold and colourful clothes to match your bright and energetic personality at the time. You could be tall/look tall, and have a preference for baggy silhouttes. Something about your lips is prominent. You could have long limbs and be slender, regardless of your weight/fitness. You are someone who's talkative, or very expressive. You have a lot of opinions, even though you may keep them to yourself. You're quite involved in your own inner world and even when you are not talking to anyone, your face is very expressive in reaction to your thoughts. You may be cheeky as well, and like to have something going on that nobody knows about. Your personality is really shining through here, despite it being a beauty reading lol. That's your appeal, you're a whirlwind and people can't help but notice you. Your looks just add to your character. You can enhace your beauty by increasing your activity level. Becoming fit, going to the gym or participating in an active hobby. It'll suit you well to have something that occupies your mind as well as your body. Also, to try a more somber look in regard to fashion and makeup, like a dark feminine siren type of makeup style/clothing. It seems that there is also something that you have been struggling to accept about yourself, this weighs on you and is cauising visible tiredness/strain. For some of you, it is a body part that you are insecure about, for others its a tendency to overthink and neglect yourself in the process. Learning to accept that part of yourself and developing healthy coping mechanisms to distract you in your times of mental strain will have you feeling and looking more confident.

******

That's it! Thank you for participating in this pick a card reading! If you would like to book a private reading with me, you can do so here. If you're interested in my other PAC's, you can check them out here!

[klausysworld]

can you please write a headcanon of yandere Klaus Mikaelson with a broken reader? Basically Klaus is delighted to find out reader is obedient and does everything he says, then later he realises reader actually gives up on hope and became a former shell of herself with no passion of life or interests.

Decided to write this in more of a one-shot kinda way, hope you don’t mind :) i just think it might work better

I’ve lost it

It had been god knows how long since i was last outside. I couldn’t remember the last time i saw one of my family members. The only interactions i had was with Klaus himself and even them most of them ended in arguments. It was becoming draining.

I was coming to the realisation that i was not going to be getting out. There was no life after my escape and no happy life where i could the busy streets and see what the world has to offer. One time Klaus had offered to show me the world, i wish i had just accepted it instead of being so rude. I should have at least let him down gently but no, and now i was sat amongst takeaway packets because Klaus didn’t have time to cook me anything.

He’s been busier lately, leaving me alone more. It’s hard not to contemplate everything. The lack of physical contact and communication was starting to get to my head.

Klaus hasn’t come to see me in maybe a few days? I couldn’t tell what time it was anymore but i was hungry. I hadn’t moved from my spot in the bed in what felt like a forever.

I couldn’t be bothered to move when i heard the door unlock, i heard footsteps getting closed and i could smell food. Real food, it made my mouth water and i closed my eyes to savour it incase it was a hallucination

“My love…i have breakfast for you” Klaus. Of course, I wasn’t really expecting anyone else. He knelt in front of me but the food wasn’t in his hands making me frown in confusion. His hand came to hold my cheek as he furrowed his brows

“Aren’t you hungry sweetheart?” He asked a little softer. I was starving but I wasn’t sure if it was worth eating anymore.

“Where were you?” i asked, my voice a lot weaker than i had hoped

“I’m sorry, my family, they’re awake and I’ve been trying to find the time to come down here…have you been using the colouring pencils i got for you?” He stood up taking a look around, his eyes saddening

“Those are the same books you had last time i was here, love what have you been doing?” He asked, his arms slipped under my body to pull me into a sitting up position making me groan, i suddenly felt a lot more hungry now i was upright as i looked around for the food. He was quick to sit down next to me with the tray practically shovelling the food into my mouth

“Good girl just keep going” he muttered as he brought some water to my lips

Once i had cleared the plate i found myself leaning into him. As much as i hated him at least he was somewhat alive. He was a real thing and he was here. I could feel the skin of his arms on mine as i shut my eyes and pulled myself into his lap as my fingers curled around his henley. His thumb rubbed circles against my upper arm making my eyes burn with tears, this man was my only comfort and yet he had taken me away from everything i had ever loved.

“Do you feel sick sweetheart?” He asked feeling my forehead with the back of his hand

“Please don’t leave” i whispered clinging to him tightly, turning my body to straddle him, my legs wrapping around him and my arms holding onto his midsection

“Please it’s too quiet” I added with a sniff as a tear ran astray down my face. I felt his hand on the back of my head and i tucked my face under his chin

“I’m not going anywhere my darling, I’m staying with you for as long as i can”

We stayed like that for a while before he lifted me and turned on the shower

“Im just going to sit in the bedroom okay?” He asked as he set the temperature, setting me down onto my feet

“No no you said you wouldn’t leave, stay you gotta stay” i sobbed grabbing onto him, his body tensed before relaxing as I practically climbed him to attache myself to him muttering ‘no’ over and over as he rocked me

“Okay… okay I’ll sit right here yeah? I’ll talk to you through the glass okay? I’m right here” he whispered

He stayed sat against the shower glass the whole time, he spoke about his family and why he was having problems with them. His mother being alive and throwing a ball. He said the ball didn’t go as planned and Kol had his neck snapped.

By the time i was out my mind was clearing over, and I wasn’t as well…crazy.

He brushed my hair and dried it, i didn’t complain or pull away like I usually did. He kept speaking the whole time, sometimes about the past and sometimes the present but never the future. I’m not sure if there even is a future anymore.

I stayed in his lap when he read a book to me, a love story between two normal people who fell for each other over time. They had a child at the end. He told me he thinks there’s a sequel and that he’d find it for me.

He only left me once to get us dinner before hurrying back.

He had been so gentle today, he didn’t yell or raise his voice at all

And so I couldn’t find it within me to push him away when he pressed his lips to mine. His lips were so soft and warm, his hands held my face as he slowly got on top of me. I didn’t protest when his tongue slipped into my mouth, I didn’t shove at him as he groaned into me, I didn’t bother pulling away when his hips rolled to meet mine, when his hand moved to touch my neck, when it trailed down and he rubbed over my breasts through my shirt. I didn’t stop him as he ground down harder his kiss growing hungrier and his hand becoming more bold as it moved between my legs, just cupping my sex through my sleep shorts.

Only when he pulled away did he take in my face, he swallowed thickly as he backed away from me

“Forgive me- i got carried away, I didn’t mean to make you feel like you had to” he muttered as he rolled onto his back

“Would you like me to stay for the night?” He asked quietly and i nodded bringing myself closer to him. My arm going over his chest as I snuggled into his side

“Will you be here in the morning?” I asked in a mumble

“Im not sure, i need to sneak back to my room in early enough so that my family think i stayed the night there but I’ll be back a little later for brunch?” He offered

“Yea okay, i understand” i whispered, he squeezed my tighter and pulled the cover up over my shoulders

“I love you sweetheart, so much. Just rest, i will take care of everything” his words blurred as i began to slip into unconsciousness.

The next few days…or weeks i just sort of did whatever he wanted. I did as he asked, sometimes we did some art together, he had also gotten me a typewriter to try and write stories, with all the reading id been doing i had a some creativity. I wasn’t allowed an actual laptop incase i tried to contact anyone.

Things were seeming to be a lot better. But then the realisation set in that this was as good as it was ever going to be. There was nothing that i was going to experience that would be worth living for anymore.

Klaus didn’t notice my detachment though. He was just happy that i was behaving. I never got mad at him or cried. I didn’t push or shove or kick or hit. I kissed back and sometimes i wondered if i could actually love him. But then i sort of realised i didn’t really feel much of anything anymore. I wasn’t mad or upset or disgusted but I wasn’t happy or feeling safe and cared for and loved. And i knew that he was doing it because he loves me and wants to keep me safe but I didn’t really know what was happening anymore.

Sometimes i wondered if it was one big mind fuck and i was in some weird game. Like maybe Klaus wasn’t really an original hybrid right? Like this whole thing is just to see how long it would take for me to crack. Sometimes i found myself looking to see if there were cameras or something watching me, was it a tv show?

That lasted like a week. Im convinced. I’ve lost it.

Klaus sort of grounded me most of the time, made me see and touch someone real and know that i was still some what alive. It was coming to the point where i had to pinch myself to make sure i was still real, i spoke to myself a lot, Klaus had days where he was really busy, he was better at seeing me as often as possible but still he couldn’t always balance me and his other life right?

I’d stopped writing, who’s even going to read them?

I found myself staring at his paintings for so long that i began to hate them. He had so many stupid hidden meanings it was an impossible puzzle.

The majority of my time was spent on the floor, either the carpet or the bathroom tiles if it i wanted a colder surface. Occasionally i pretended i was already dead. I mean what would he do if i were to die? He can’t just bring me back, not without vampire blood and i didn’t have that in my system. Sometimes i got worried though… what if he kept my body and kept me in my room, i worried what would happen after death, what if my soul or whatever was trapped in the room?

———————————————————————

(Third person)

Klaus was not expecting the scene infront of him. His love passed out on the floor, paper scattered everywhere and his paintings ripped to shreds. He slowly lifted her sleeping form placing her back into bed, he notices a cluster of little bruises along her thighs and stomach, pinch marks? He frowned seeing her fingernails slightly bloody and kissed them gently

He went back to the papers, no more than a few words scribbled down. It was about the afterlife and some held questions of what was happening. She wasn’t sure where she was. He felt his confusion grow seeing his paintings beaten in, the paintings of her. Her own face was torn out and a dot her blood was soaked into the carpet.

He slowly neared her in the bed after clearing the mess. His hand hesitantly pressed to her forehead to look through her mind

“Show me what’s troubling you my love”

He wasn’t expecting to find her completely emotionless while watching a clock. A clock with no arms. The ticking was persistent and yet there was no second hand, mo minute hand or hour hand. He found he was entranced by it struggling to pull himself away.

He dug further seeing her mid way through a panic attack in the middle of the room, spinning around hastily while pure fear crawled upon her face, she kept asking what was happening, why was she there? Who was watching her.

His heart ached, his wolf cried and his soul hurt seeing her scratch her legs to the point of the skin breaking.

Seeing her unmoving for days

Her laughing at nothing

Crying at the abstract painting he had made for her

And then he found a younger version of her, a small child version. Speaking to her mother

“One day I’m gonna live in a big house! I’m gonna have a baby and a husband and a pet cat! We’re gonna have you round all the time and it’s gonna be great! We can take holidays every year to slowly travel the world!” The innocence and excitement at the girl held her first plane ticket waving it at her elder sister who rolled her eyes but smiled non the less

Klaus came back from her mind to find himself crying. He wiped at his tears and sat with her hand in his

“I’m so sorry” he uttered while trying to find a way to stop her mind from collapsing in on itself.

[butchkaramazov]

"wait" i want to say

wait for me, for i am incomplete without you.

wait for me, because i am afraid,

that distance, in this moment,

will not make your heart grow fonder,

and instead, i will stay, only as a weak memory, as a lost piece of a puzzle that you have, somewhere in your home.

"please don't go" i want to say

because who am I if not for you

who am I if not for the hope you gave me,

and the happiness you brought me.

who am i if not for the way you showed me how to truly live life, for we have only one.

yet, there you are.

walking away slowly,

your footsteps getting softer,

and my heart getting weaker.

you leave me, with only half my soul,

for you took the other half with you.

words rush through me,

as i figure out what to tell you,

but everything i say, i swallow,

for in the end, i will always remember you. - :p

(keep your expectations low because i was bored and this is shit)

wtf my guy your poems are getting better everyday!!! in a few months maybe you'll be ready to enter a poetry competition, ngl

"wait for me, because i am afraid, that distance, in this moment, will not make your heart grow fonder" is so pure and raw and beautiful. probably my favourite line from this poem.

"your footsteps getting softer, and my heart getting weaker" uuungh. ajdhdhsh. dammit im supposed to look hot and mysterious not like a blob of mush

"you leave me, with only half my soul, for you took the other half with you" gives strong "he is half of my soul, as the poets say" vibes and it's immaculate 🤌🏽

i love the use of repetition in the poem<3 its brilliant, you're well on your way to your character development arc (;

[obeiii-mee]

Heyo, this is my first time asking (im kinda new to tumblr, so please dont judge) if you would'nt mind, could you do some headcannons (or oneshots, it dosen't matter) with all the demon bros and a MC who is crippled/paralized in their legs, and has to use a wheelchair to get around? Thank you!!

——————————-

This is the first time I’ve written about a crippled MC, so I hope I didn’t fuck this up or anything. I found out that being paralysed in both legs is a disability called Paraplegia so that’s how I titled this post. And y’all are too sweet, you are more than welcome anon! I hope I can portray this properly because I am not crippled myself so I’ve opted to do some research before writing this! I hope you like it! Also, I feel inclined to add that none of the brothers would treat you too differently if you happen to have a disability because you’re their human nonetheless :)

——————————-

The Brothers with an MC that has Paraplegia and needs a wheelchair to get around:

Lucifer:

-Lucifer was in charge of choosing the final human, exchange student for the program so it’s guaranteed he already knew about your predicament before you even arrived

-Him and Diavolo probably had many meetings concerning your disability before the program could commence, considering that being unable to walk would double the chances of you getting killed since you are obviously more vulnerable

-Not to mention all the treatment you would require

-Lucifer is not well versed in human illnesses and disorders, but he makes sure that he is educated enough on the matter before you get brought down there

-It would not be easy, but he is determined to help you survive your year in DevilDom for the prince’s sake

-First problem of the day was, of course, your wheelchair

-Due to lack of time, Lucifer was unable to instal ramps around the House of Lamentation which meant that for the first couple of weeks, someone would’ve had to help you move around certain parts of the house

-He gave that highly prestigious job to himself because he didn’t trust his brothers and thought they would accidentally drop you and your wheelchair down the stairs

-He talks a lot to you, even at the beginning, because he needs to establish your needs and what he should do to make sure you don’t die for the following year

-You would have to tell him about physical therapy and how most commonly it uses heat, massage and exercise to stimulate your nerves and muscles, making it a great treatment for people with leg paralysis

-Once you two enter a more intimate and personal relationship, it’s more than likely he’ll help you perform those things himself (instead of kidnapping a human doctor from somewhere)

-Lucifer knows you have no problem getting around with your wheelchair by yourself but there are times where he’ll insist to push you along in order to give you a quick break

-I can totally imagine you two strolling around DevilDom and having cosy chats about RAD and your adjustments to DevilDom

-He has a softer side to him that he’s afraid to show most of the time, but he feels so at ease when you’re around, it’s hard for him to hold that part of him hidden from you

-Of course, your safety still remains his primary concern and he acts more like your guardian than Mammon does, even if he was originally supposed to look out for you

-He will accompany you almost anywhere. And if he can’t, he’ll have one or more of his brothers do it. And even then he’s probably lurking nearby, just in case

-He would always be willing to listen about your condition, if you wished to tell him whether you were born with the defect or why you ended up crippled later in life. Either way, he’s all ears

-If you would rather not speak about it, he wouldn’t pry and respect your decision because he knows it’s not his place to pressure you

-Because of your paralysis, it’s quite obvious to demons that you are even weaker (physically speaking) than most humans and that usually puts a target on your back

-Howver, never fear, because Lucifer is pretty quick to put lower rank demons in their place with just a mere stare

-Oop one of them passed out from the fear, haha

-In conclusion, he’s the most responsible when it comes your comfort and safety during your stay

-He makes sure you are always left in good hands and and provides most of the requirements you need

-Y’all should see how his wings puff up when he senses a threat approaching you, he looks like a peacock ready to go on attack lol

Mammon:

-The second born is unsurprisingly a bit of a jerk at first

-He stays really grumpy the whole day of your arrival because he’s stuck babysitting you stupid human

-“Lucifer c’mon, what’s all this workload for? The human can’t even walk by themselves, why do I have to help them out?”

-Wtf Mammon you can’t say shit like that

-Anyways, the following very few days, the only thing he’s thinking about is how much money he could sell your wheelchair for

-He’s the literal incarnation of greed, what else did you expect from him?

-After a while, he starts feeling a bit guilty every time he thinks about it though

-Mammon is gonna take this secret to the grave (laughs in immortal) but he actually really likes pushing you around

-Maybe it’s because it’s a clear indication to everyone around him that you are HIS human, under HIS protection and therefore you trust HIM the most since he was your FIRST MAN

-He will insist on helping you get out of that thing when you need to go to bed and stuff every night and he will get pouty real fast if you let any of his other brothers do it

-You wake up to him trying to roll around in your wheelchair one night at like 3am

-At some point, he stole a wheelchair from the human realm to match with his human. You can guess the consequences of his actions

-I can imagine you having to face a staircase or something at school and Mammon being like:

-“Fuck it, imma carry this fragile human instead; wheelchair and all!”

-Like you were a sack of potatoes or something smh

-Cue his brothers watching him from a distance as he heaves you and basically weight-lifts you up the stairs

-Ok but every now and again, he gets so sad thinking about you not being able to walk, like he starts crying kinda sad

-While you stand there like 😐 “Why are you crying?”

-He’s so quick to help if he senses you’re in danger too

-It’s canon that Mammon is crazy fast if he wants to be so if he has even the slightest impression that your life is threatened, his feet are already moving

-He will charge at your immediate threat at around 120 miles per hour-do not try him when he’s mad

-“The Great Mammon saved the day! C’mon MC, let’s go buy some ice cream. My treat! Ya better be grateful!”

-He says while the demon that tried to eat you lies on the floor with about a dozen broken bones

-Mammon is the second most powerful demon out of all of his brothers, even if he doesn’t resort to violence often

Levi:

-He didn’t really know how to react when you first teleported to DevilDom

-I mean, from the very beginning he considered you to be a human normie but at the same time, he felt bad you were stuck with his brothers for the rest of the year

-I think he would understand you would have an even harder time integrating yourself in their house because of your disability and he knows his siblings are really fucking annoying, always pushing you around and whatnot

-So, he kinda lets you hide in his room quite often

-You guys chill out in there all the time, much to the dismay of the other brothers who also want to spend time with you

-At some point, Levi definitely begged asked Lucifer to let you start online classes with him

-“But wouldn’t it be easier for MC to do online school from home rather than go to R.A.D since there aren’t any ramps or anything around there???”

-“The answer is no Leviathan.”

-“Ugh fine! What a fucking boomer-“

-For some reason, he gets so flustered whenever you ask him to push you around

-He blushes right to the tips of his ears and then he starts sputtering some nonsense that you can’t make out at all

-But he’s more than happy to do it, especially if you guys are going to a convention or if he’s dragging you out to buy new merch

-You two would get along in the sense that Levi realises the struggles you faced all your life were tough to overcome and he believes you are just like him

-Usually left out by other people, ignored even

-He knows you always listen to him ramble on about whatever he is currently obsessed with and how much you check up on him to make sure he never isolated himself

-He wants to do that for you too! Talk to him about your hobbies, please I’m begging you-he feels so bad whenever he’s doing all the talking

-If you ask him to help you with anything (getting something, helping you into bed—that sort of thing), he legally and physically can’t say ‘no’

-And he would get envious enough to stop talking to you for a day or two if you let his brothers do it instead (the second and third born are indeed similar lmao)

-S T A Y I N H I S R O O M, W H E R E Y O U C A N B E P R O T E C T E D !

-He will feel so much more at ease if you’re in his room because to him, that’s his haven

-If you’re in there with him, that means you’re not getting involved in his siblings’ endless and dangerous shenanigans

-Whenever you’re at school, he can’t help but worry about your well-being

-Because you’re human! You’re gonna get killed!! Do you know how much your organs sell on the black market in DevilDom??? 100x more than in the human realm, that’s for sure

-Would they have a black market or would it be a regular market lol

-For some reason, he also likes staying in your wheelchair when you’re not using it

-I think he just takes comfort in knowing it’s something that belongs to you and smells like you and-

-OK Levi, sit back down

-He wouldn’t treat you any differently if you had a disability tbh, but he’d be more concerned because you can’t even run away or anything

-So he’s so fuckin’ relieved when you guys are just vibing in his room

-He could die happy knowing he kept his best friend/ partner safe

Satan:

-Satan would be even more prepared for your arrival than Lucifer would, in a sense

-Out of all of his brothers, he’s most likely to understand and recognise paraplegia (either from studying human illnesses/birth defects/disabilities or from encountering humans with said disability)

-He’s a smart boy, alright?

-Always seems to be the first to notice if you need help or if someone’s bothering you

-Though in the very beginning, he was pretty tempted to just let you get killed to see how angry Lucifer could get

-Seeing dear Luci’s misery brings him great joy 🥰🥰🥰

-Once you two manage to build a very honest and strong relationship, he feels more and more inclined to keep you out of harm’s way

-Pls, he would feel so honoured if you let him push you around (it’s like you asked him to h*ld h*nds or something)

-If you require treatment of any kind, he would be so happy to help

-But in a subtle way...?

-Satan makes it seem so smooth too like he doesn’t mind lending a helping hand when in reality he’s all giddy inside

-*Kinda wants to rub it in his brothers’ faces but at the same no, because he’s definitely the bigger person here

-He wants to know how your wheelchair works

-It’s got all of these neat mechanisms and he wants to learn how they’re constructed because he never had the chance to inspect one before

-He’s such a sweetheart about asking you as well and never pries about your disability unless you start elaborating yourself

-Most of the time, he acts all charming and very gentleman-like

-So people have a hard time spotting and acknowledging the building rage inside of him every time he sees you are threatened by some moronic low rank demon

-Satan’s usually chill when it comes to injuries, unless he can see you’re in horrible pain

-There’s nothing a few spells can’t accomplish

-But when others purposefully try harming you?

-It’s like he loses all the self control he’s been trying to perfect over the centuries and he can’t help himself from at least breaking someone’s rib cage

-Satan’s a weird one because he’s protective of you even though he’s more on the relaxed side when compared to his siblings

-He very much acknowledges that you made it this far in life with your predicament so he doesn’t feel the need to baby you or anything

-You’re strong and he knows this

-It’s one of the many things he clearly loves about you

-That one time you rolled over Mammon’s foot with your wheelchair on purpose, he was wheezing

Asmo:

-Even now, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be stuck inside a wheelchair for the rest of his eternal life

-I mean, he’d obviously still be absolutely fabulous, have you seen him? He’s gonna be gorgeous either way

-But after the two of you meet, he definitely starts thinking about how he takes his feet for granted all the time

-It would be so difficult to complete his daily tasks without the ability to walk or run around

-That’s why he gets sad every time he remembers that’s your reality and on days like that, you’ve noticed he gives you a helluva lot more attention than usual

-He knows you don’t need pity or anything so he’s just making sure his human has all the support they can get

-Paraplegia or not, shopping trips are still a go-go

-He loves buying you clothes! And he loves helping you try them on! Asmo takes it very seriously

-Might have a go at the employees if they’re being rude to you

-You don’t even ask him to, but he subconsciously starts pushing you around himself whenever the two of you are out together

-“MC! Look at that new shop that’s just opened! Isn’t it adorable? We have to check it out!”

-He can’t help it! There’s so many places he wants to visit, he sort of just drags you with him wherever he goes

-Even at home, he always pops out of nowhere to coax you into coming to his room

-Y’all have so many skin routines to do each day

-Like he’s in your room most nights to greet you goodnight and tuck you in, with the rest of his brothers it gets so awkward at times

-Asmo just wants to see you smile, ok? He thinks you have a beautiful smile and laugh and he wants to remind you that you’re marvellous, disability or not

-And if anyone does anything to put an end to your self confidence, he will swiftly put an end to their life

-Please, he’s a pro at ruining lives, he’s been doing it for centuries

-Asmo has such a huge influence over the people in DevilDom, he just needs to make this one post on Devilgram to end said demon’s whole career

-I mean, who is he compared to him, Hmm? So don’t worry MC, scum like that don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you :)

-That one time Mammon tried lifting you up the stairs and Asmo started shrieking, like put them down! Don’t manhandle them like that, poor human :(

Beel:

-I know I sound repetitive, but he would be an overall sweetheart to you no matter the circumstances

-If Mammon is not by your side, then Beel definitely is

-His big, scary aura and figure usually scares off any threat in a 10 mile radius

-Most demons don’t fancy being eaten by the Avatar of Gluttony, ya know?

-Idk why but I feel like he’d be the type to ask for oral consent every time he wanted to push you around

-He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable :(

-Surprisingly also the type to lift you and your wheelchair whenever an obstacle gets in your way

-You basically weigh the same amount as a paper plate compared to him, so he has no problem doing so

-He doesn’t really understand your condition as well as Satan may do, but he’s trying his best

-You mean so much to him and he feels it’s only fair he learns more about your disability as a thank you for what you’ve done for him

-He has a rough time keeping up with you when it comes to stuff like physical therapy because he’s very unfamiliar with it but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna help

-Of course, Beel believes that this is the second best way to show you how much he cares for you besides the obvious ‘I love you’

-Giving you a hand whenever you need his support the most

-That’s his way of saying “I’m not going to let you down. I want you to trust me, the same way I trust you.”

-And knowing him, he will try to do everything in his power to keep you safe and sound

-After a while, you’re bound to notice he’s the first one to pull you out of his brothers’ pranks before you have a chance to get hurt

-Beel is always the one handing you stuff from high places you can’t reach, without teasing you for it like Mammon might do

-Always the first one to remind you to get plenty of rest and to eat enough

-He wants to protect you and his brothers because he knows he failed to do so with Lilith so yeah, he’s a bit overprotective at times

-He doesn’t mean to be overbearing, but he gets so anxious knowing you’re by yourself

-After a few months of getting accommodated with him, your disability is no longer brought up in the conversation

-Because he doesn’t care that you are crippled and forced to use a wheelchair

-You are part of his family and he loves you no matter what

Belphie:

-He didn’t really care, even when you first met and his hatred for humans was at its very peak

-It didn’t matter that you had a disability

-All that mattered to him at the time was killing you to satisfy that deeply rooted need of vengeance inside of him

-Though he was sort of surprised his brothers didn’t get to you first

-In general, he’s pretty chill about you being crippled in both legs

-It takes too much effort to worry about your well-being 24/7 after all

-Surprisingly, he does keep an eye out for you if his siblings aren’t nearby

-It’s his redemption arc people, he’s trying to be nicer

-But he has such an irritating way of showing his affection for you

-Do not let him push you around

-He’s either going to a) fall asleep after 30 seconds and slump over you in the middle of RAD’s halls

-Or b) be annoying and fling your wheelchair in every direction possible just to piss you off

-He likes messing with you because you give him the best reactions and he thrives on that

-You’ve almost fallen off your wheelchair multiple times because of this asshole

-Not that he’d actually let you fall, he just wants to see how easily he can get you to yell at him

-Speaking of said wheelchair, like Mammon and Levi, he also loves using it when you’re not

-You’ve woken up to him curled up and asleep in that thing quiet often and he’s gotten in trouble over it every time with Lucifer

-But he doesn’t care

-And at this point, I don’t think even he knows whether he’s doing it to get a reaction out of you or because he somehow found a way to make himself comfortable there

-He would low key use you as a mode of transportation every time you go to RAD

-Just clings the damn wheelchair and almost topples both of you over

-“Belphie, there’s nothing stopping you from walking 😐”

-“Shh, just bring me to class and let me nap until then.”

-He doesn’t mention your legs but he still lays his head on your lap often

-Might make you hold him like a bride every time you stroll around the house

-It’s done out of love, I promise 😌😌

———————————

Al~

[keilemdarkmode]

preened

🚫contains themes of abuse, noncon/dubcon, yandere 🚫

(r18+)

hawks | takami keigo x (fem)reader

word count: 4.2k

settling in keigo’s arms was far easier than facing his weapons and wrath.

warnings: noncon/dubcon/rape, blood violence, manipulation, yandere, drowning, mention of branding, abuse, somehow STILL soft, bathing/bath tub shit

--

a/n: wow fellas, first yan hawks piece!! PLEASE!! heed the warnings!! this is not soft and tender, it is fucked up, sad, dark, and tender! if its not your thing, please keep scrolling ❤️

that being said, this piece was beta’ed by the lovely @hawnks. it was interesting and new to explore these themes and ideas and im happy to share them now :’^) enjoy!

||||||||||||||||||||

Keigo could be cruel.

You knew that too well.

But, lately, he’d been kinder. Softer, without so many barbs and blades just behind his words and actions.

You knew, very consciously, that this was due to your good behavior after the ‘feather’ incident, but that knowledge didn’t dull the sweetness too much.

(Only a little.)

...

“Dove, are you falling asleep?” Keigo’s voice was far too mirthful as he carded a hand through your hair.

You grumbled, something lighthearted and muffled into his chest.

You had been nodding off, Keigo’s arm slack over your shoulder as he idly watched a film that you were sure he wasn’t paying attention to.

An afternoon off together was rare, and you didn’t want to spoil it.

Asking Keigo to put on a movie and ‘snuggle’ got him red-faced and poofy-feathered, he all but dragged you to the couch to pamper you for the day.

It would’ve been endearing if you’d wanted to be there.

Maybe, sometime back, you would’ve fought.

When Keigo brought you the fluffy, red blanket he loved sharing with you, you might’ve spit on it, maybe on him. Thrown the blanket back into his face only to laugh at the anger and rage he would inevitably erupt into before throwing you over his knee.

Maybe, once, you would have tried to scald Keigo with the steaming tea he brought you (prepared just as you liked, it was one of the first things he memorized about you). You would’ve probably aimed for his face— maybe, his wings, if you were feeling particularly stupid.

Now?

You smiled, maybe something real, as you took the blanket from his waiting arms. You let him blow on your tea with his pretty pink lips as he insisted he’d ‘never let you get burned’.

(You both knew that the ‘fire’ incident was too far. You’d been vacant for a month after Keigo had pulled that stunt.)

“Thank you,” You kissed his cheek, like he wanted you to.

Maybe you should’ve been disgusted. Instead, the contact felt nice. Touch starvation had long since set in, and Keigo was your only outlet. And he was very willing.

The afternoon had been easy, nice. You’d let him play with your hair, mindful to tuck your braced arm to your tummy under the blanket. Keigo tended to be a bit more on edge when he was reminded of the ‘feather’ incident.

It was easier to keep it hidden.

“Dear?” Keigo asked, nuzzling into the crown of your head. “When was the last time we gave you a proper bath?”

You tensed so hard, you might as well have been stone.

Baths were still bad, even after so long.

You figured it out, after a while. It was one of Keigo’s subconscious avian instincts, to keep him and his mate clean and looking well.

It was why he always sat in front of you to allow you to pick through and straighten his feathers. It was vulnerable, the way he shivered and shuddered and fucking moaned as you would straighten and pluck what you could.

It was why he scrutinized the brushing of your teeth so heavily, scoffing at your lack of ‘precision’ and ‘attention to detail’. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d brushed them yourself. Keigo would always just seat you on the cold marble counter, slot himself between your legs while vice-gripping your jaw and gagging you with a toothbrush.

Though, he had been more gentle lately. Nicer.

He’d been more like the ‘mate’ he’d always described himself being.

Your role to Keigo was why he had full autonomy over bathing you.

He could take showers and baths alone, all as he pleased. But, you were washed by his hands only. Even the quick showers after he’d fuck you silly, he was always with you, scrubbing you down with special soaps and a soft cloth.

“Dove?” Keigo’s voice came kindly, yet his grip tightened. “I asked you a question, didn’t I?”

“You did, I’m sorry,” The response came from your lips hurriedly. “It’s been a while.”

Keigo hummed, clicking his tongue and sitting up fully, “I’ll set up the bath then. I’ll take a shower later so I can make sure you’re squeaky clean now, how about that?”

You nodded, knowing better than to disagree with him.

When Keigo had first brought you ‘home’, he’d take your baths with you. He’d pull you tight to his chest, try to, as you struggled and screamed.

He snapped once, letting his anger get the better of him when you bit him so hard on his forearm that he bled.

Though, it wasn’t his blood that stained the bathwater that night.

It was the first time he showed you how much soft damage he could inflict with his sharpened feathers.

He rarely took baths with you after that; you hoped the memory of haunted him the same way it did with you.

Over time, bathing you had become a sort of neutral ground.

Keigo enjoyed it too much for it to be used as a punishment, and you learned better.

That didn’t mean slipups didn’t happen, but in general, you were good for him then.

The bad memories still made you tremble, vivid reminders.

Keigo tugged you to the bathroom, the eon-suite in the master bedroom, ‘our’ bedroom, as he called it with the wistful look in his eye.

Part of you reviled the affection in his tone, the other part was relieved that it wasn’t malice anymore.

Stepping into the bathroom was always a bit jarring, your mind and body knowing what occurred so often in the months past. The conditioning was implicit, even if the two of you didn’t like it.

The master bathroom was massive, built for his wings. The soaker tub, jets and all, was meant to accommodate their size. He’d had a new one put in, he told you, just before he ‘brought’ you ‘home’.

Keigo stopped you in front of the sink, a usual routine. You kept your gaze trained on the ground.

“Dove, it’s alright, no need to be frightened,” He chuckled, but you knew it was more of a command than anything else. He slung his arms over your shoulders, a firm grip on your jaw forcing you to look into the reflection. “You’ve been a good girl lately, I’ll be gentle.”

You sniffled, nodding.

His grip tightened, “Words. You know better.”

“Y-yes,” You nodded, eyes darting around the mirror to avoid looking at your dual visage. “I have been good. I’ll be good.”

“Sweet girl,” Keigo sang, peppering kisses over the side of your face as you made eye contact with yourself. Your stare was vacant and cold, clinging onto what you could grasp without pain.

You hated it—

Yourself.

Your stomach rolled, but you swallowed down your disgust.

“Don’t look away, understand?” Keigo’s voice was too soft for the authority in his words.

“I won’t, I understand.”

You watched as his nimble fingers slipped under the shirt of his that you wore. He’d let you wear panties that day, soft cotton ones that hardly seemed ‘sexy’, but they drove him wild anyways. Something about normalcy always got him more feral than normal.

Considering the cold outside, he’d even been kind enough to dress you in a pair of loose, thigh high stockings. He slid them down your legs, descending as he did to leave little kisses. He pulled at your underwear, palming at the plump of your ass as they fell to the ground.

You stepped out of the stockings and panties when he tapped your ankles, leaving you completely naked in the mirror.

Forcing yourself to stare in the mirror was hard.

You didn’t look like yourself.

You hadn’t for so long.

Your own visage made your head spark with numbness, something acrid spilling over your tongue.

It must’ve shown in your face, but you didn’t register it.

“None of that, angel, you’re beautiful,” Keigo draped himself over you, wings outstretched.

You swallowed, nodding, but not replying.

“Bath time, then,” Keigo hummed, guiding you to the toilet seat as he prepared the soak.

You watched him roll up the sleeves of his soft button-down, revealing his many scars. Some were from his work, others from your nails and teeth. You felt guilty, odd as it was, seeing how they still marred his pretty, tanned skin.

You folded your hands in your lap as Keigo got to work.

He turned on the faucet, always a bit too hot, just so you could soak for longer. Shampoo, conditioner, a variety of hair and face masks, special bubble baths and bath bombs all carried in a cute basket were brought to the side of the tub as he prepared it.

If you were proper lovers, it would’ve been endearing.

He rose, lighting jar and pillar candles across the massive bathroom. It was something he did to put you both at ease, the fire acting like some sort of safety net that you both knew kept him from getting too aggressive with you, risking burning his wings.

It all felt like too much, the care he put into everything.

Your guilt swelled as you focused on your naked thighs.

Keigo talked to you as he went about preparing your pampering, knowing better than to expect any proper responses as he prepared the bath with lovely smells and pretty colors.

The last thing he did was hang a red silk robe on a hook near the door.

You really must’ve been good, getting the chance to cover yourself after a bath.

You had been trying harder lately. Remembering your rules, how and where to be and when. It made things easier. Fighting made your tired, clawing had made you weaker.

Being complicit burned something in you, low and rolling, but it was better than facing Keigo’s constant wrath.

On your more mentally together days, the ones where he was gone more and longer, you put together some of Keigo’s fucked up psychology.

He just didn’t want to be alone.

He just wanted a companion.

It was cruel— sick, that one of the most desired men in the nation had to pluck you, and all your mundanity, from your life to force you into the mold of a lover, consort and best friend like you weren’t a person.

You shook your head, trying not to stew.

Stewing made you bad.

And you had been good.

You had to be, after the ‘feather incident’.

It made things easier.

...

You’d found the feather under the couch.

Keigo left them around normally, the sensitive things picking up on your heart rate and breathing. The safety phone, an old landline, would ring if you got too anxious, the shrill tone only making it worse, but that was part of the point, wasn’t it?

All the same, this feather looked older.

The color was duller, the filaments frayed.

Keigo liked to present the feathers openly, stuck into fixtures and over counters and tabletops. Something about ‘keeping his mate safe from prospective challengers’.

(You never saw anyone other than him. There was no one to oppose Keigo in your life.)

This particular plume being hidden seemed like a mistake.

He didn’t slip up often.

Your mind spun as you debated what to do.

You poked it, cautiously.

It didn’t move, waver, or harden.

It was limp, like a real, normal feather.

The spine was hard—

Solid enough to shove into a lock, maybe.

You snatched it up, hiding it between the cushions as you raced to think through a plan.

Your previous escape attempts hardly even happened. Keigo was fast enough to catch you as you neared the fortified door, always.

He’d drag you to the bedroom to hold you down and eat your cunt until your mind was too mushy to even conceptualize ideas beyond Keigo’s tongue fucking into your dripping hole. He was mean about it, pushing you too far and keeping you there to writhe and beg for reprieve.

You hated him for it at the time.

But, you had an opportunity to fucking get out.

During the incident—

He was gone.

He was at work for the rest of the day.

You hurried.

His other present feathers would sense you, you had to work quickly.

You didn’t have shoes other than house slippers, but they’d have to make due. You shoved some granola bars in your pocket, freezing the moment you heard the ringtone of the landline echo over the penthouse.

Don’t slow, don’t stop.

How fucking foolish you were, thinking you could outrun a being that flew.

Idiotic, you’d come to chastise yourself later.

You stuffed what you could into your pockets, running to the front door and shoving the spine of the feather into the lock.

It was firm enough to be used as a pick, wasn’t it? You weren’t sure how to pick locks, but you had to try right?

You could pick the eight locks on the door before Keigo got home, right?

Foolish.

Your hands trembled as the phone rang over and over.

Your heart nearly stopped when you heard the telltale ‘thunk’ of Keigo landing on the balcony.

Frantically, you tried to undo just one lock, just for the sake of your own sanity, knowing what was to come—

The balcony door slammed open.

You went rigid, hands still working, sweaty and desperate.

Keigo was on you in a second, pulling you from your knees by your hair in one swift motion.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

His voice could’ve cut steel, the tone so angry and dead that it brought tears to your eyes as you began to struggle.

“No, no, no— you’re not doing this shit.” Keigo spat, tugging your shaking hand from the lock as the lifeless feather fell to the ground.

He pressed you against the door, bearing all of his body weight against your back as you flattened against the wood. His wings rose, eclipsing any light.

His grip on your wrist got tighter, harder. It was sure to bruise.

(Ha.)

Keigo snarled, roughly slamming his hips into your backside, “What is this shit you’re trying to pull? I know you’re an ungrateful cunt, but I didn’t know you were a complete dumbass.”

He bent your arm back, farther and higher up by the wrist.

“Did you really think you could do that? Do this to me?!” Keigo’s voice tore through you, the waver in it sounding so foreign it almost hurt. “LEAVE ME?!”

Fear shot through you as his worn hands wrapped around your palm.

In one swift motion—

Snap.

Your vision tilted as you fell back into Keigo.

Your hand wavered limply and wrongly in his grip, thoroughly broken.

Keigo clapped a hand over your mouth as you began to scream, wail at the searing pain that was shooting from your wrist.

“I’m so sorry, angel.” His unapologetic, hot breath swirled over your ear like nausea and bile, “I promise, this will be for your own good.”

...

Keigo didn’t stop that day, no matter how much you begged and shrieked.

...

The rest of the incident got blurry.

It hurt to think about it too much.

Keigo’s rage-filled voice promising that he was going to ‘snap a new bone each time you cum’ remained a haunting memory.

He followed through, of course. He was nothing if not uncomfortably honest at the worst of times.

You could recall the feeling of cold blood trickling down your thighs, nose, and even from your mouth as you sobbed and screamed for mercy on the cold hardwood. A small feather, wet with you in so many forms, licked and lapped at your clit as Keigo made good on his promise.

The feeling of his sweat dripping onto your spine as he easily crushed and snapped a new bone each time you reached ecstasy haunted you into a submission that was no longer reluctant.

You hated yourself for it.

...

Your gaze drifted from the steaming water to your hand, the brace removed. Your fingers were still mangled, they would be forever. Keigo purposefully patched them poorly— he’d told you so. Something about making it a ‘lasting lesson’.

You sniffled at the thought, flexing the fingers, feeling the old pains shoot up your arm.

“Angel love? No need to do that,” Keigo reminded you, covering your hand with his own.

Gently, he tilted your jaw so you could meet his eyes.

You imagined the two of you looked equally sad.

The following weeks after the ‘incident’, you tried so hard to be good. The pain was a new intensity, something you couldn’t forget. Keigo reminded you of it if you slipped up, squeezing your hand or wrist with a grimace curled his pretty lips.

To his merit, Keigo also felt bad about hurting you so bad. Prior to that, punishments were either harsh edging or overstimulation which in some ways were pleasurable. Spanking too, but even then, Keigo looked a bit meek after leaving such unpleasant bruises on your backside.

But permanently crippling your body in time with tearing your cunt bloody?

He sobbed into your shoulder every night for a month.

Tried as you did to be good, you also became quite numb.

It felt better than the agony.

Keigo’s voice pulled you from your thoughts, his nose nudging your cheek, “What kind of bubble bath would you like?”

Wow.

You had been good.

You’d never been able to pick out your smells before.

Swallowing, you chewed at your lip, eyes drifting from the cute basket to Keigo’s expectant eyes.

He sighed, squeezing your knee, “Dear, it’s not a trick. Just your preference.”

“Can’t you pick?”

You immediately tensed, flinching away from Keigo’s soft touch with your own words.

An old echo of an older lesson:

‘Good girls don’t question things, do they?’

“I-I’m sorry,” You sputtered, eyes trained on the tile of the bathroom. You held out your bent wrist without thinking.

You tensed, waiting for the pain that would inevitably come.

Right?

Keigo stared at it, then to you, eyes going sad and glassy.

It made your heartbreak.

He carefully held your wrist, putting in back and rested in your naked lap.

“None of that, love. I’ll pick today, but you deserve to feel good. Don’t you think so?”

No.

“Yes.”

“Good girl, angel.”

Keigo gave you a gooey smile, one you returned as earnestly as you could. He quickly went back to the basket, pulling out an elegant glass bottle or two, dumping them into the tub as light, herbal scents began to waft into the air.

You relaxed a bit.

Keigo’s wings twitched, a little smile crooking on his face.

“It’s all ready, dear. Let me help you.”

Carefully, he helped you into the filled, bubbly foam settling around your shoulders as you leaned against the porcelain edge.

Though Keigo kept his wings flat to his back as he could, you could still see the feathers twitch and ruffle.

‘An instinctual response to seeing his mate so vulnerable— for his own benefit or otherwise.’

You swallowed, sinking into the sparkling water.

Keigo gave you another smile, dropping a kiss to your forehead before presenting you with two fancy-looking bath bombs.

“Now, dear, how about picking one of these? Nice and easy.”

He was right, but your head still spun.

You picked the one on the right, a dusty purple sphere with flower petals pressed into the outside.

Keigo lit up as you took it from his hand, gently placing it into the water.

You both watched it fizz and bob for a moment, mesmerized as the color spread and spit.

“See? Not too hard, huh?” Keigo chuckled to himself, laying his arms crossed on the lip of the massive tub. “You’re such a good girl for me.”

He looked at you with half-lidded eyes, full of love and adoration that made you feel sick.

You knew better than to reject it.

Rather, you returned his affections the best you could.

You even leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

Keigo lit up, eyes shining and bright as he cupped your cheeks, returning the gesture tenfold.

You performed so well, giggling and smiling as he did.

You’d become so good at putting on a show for him, even if it exhausted you. It was so much easier to pretend that he was a dutiful lover and not a horrifying captor. With your bent fingers submerged in the balmy water, it was even easier to shove down his transgressions.

On your good days, you would even forget.

You liked those days.

You wanted today to be one of those days where everything was okay.

You weren’t quite there, but you could try your best.

As you relaxed in the bath, Keigo gently pulled one of your legs from the water. Suds and sparkles slid down your leg as his pretty gold eyes inspected your skin.

Keigo smoothed a hand over the prickling hair of your leg, frowning, “Gotta shave you nice and smooth, huh, love?”

You nodded, whether it was your preference or not didn’t matter.

Sinking a little deeper into the water, you watched him so carefully treat your skin. Exfoliating with gentle circles, and then slicking your leg with a small vial of golden oil.

The razor was what scared you the most.

You bore its marks in many ways, little cuts and scars left on your legs from your ancient twitching and struggling were the most plentiful.

There were a few brands from the thin metal, marring the bottoms of your feet.

Those were the worst to heal. Keigo had to carry you around for days, toying with you the entire time. He teased you in your helplessness, but none of his quips were wrong.

He’d made you need him.

You audibly whimpered at the memories, Keigo’s gaze flickering to you as he ran the sleek razor over your shining skin.

“Dear, nothing to be afraid of. You’re doing so well.”

You nodded, knowing better than to remind him of his own horrors.

He shaved you carefully, thoughtfully even, humming to himself as he did. Keigo was nothing if not a perfectionist, leaving you silky smooth and well-tended to. You wondered if he would treat you to a massage later with how kind he was being.

He left your cunt alone, liking the hair more wild and ‘natural’.

“This is nice, isn’t it?” Keigo asked wistfully as he moved closer. His hand slipped under the water, cupping the back of your neck.

You took a little too long to respond, you supposed in retrospect.

Keigo’s face went dark, for a mere moment, as his grip tightened, dragging you under the suds.

You jolted, struggling and flailing in shock as water flooded your mouth and nose.

He pulled you up as quickly as he had pulled you down, the dark look not dulled in the slightest.

“Be good, and I won’t have to do that shit.” His words dripped cold venom, wings beginning to unfurl. “I’d hate to revisit how long it takes you to stop squirming under there, wouldn’t you?”

You nodded, hurriedly, quickly, sitting up the best you could in his grip, “N-no, I don’t want that. Please. This is very nice. I’m sorry. I’ll be good. I’ll be better.”

They were promises, honest ones.

You very much wanted to keep them.

Keigo’s look thankfully dissolved, going melancholic before erupting warmly once more. It was a facial journey you’d seen too much and too often.

“That’s my girl,” He grinned, giving you a wet kiss on the lips. You kissed back the best you could, shaking visibly and not trying to hide it.

Keigo pulled back, golden eyes too sharp and too vibrant.

As he poured shampoo into his hand, you clenched your maimed hand into a fist. The lesson worked so well, you thought, as pain rushed through you, hot like the old brands and clawing scratches.

Keigo was too sweet as he lathered your hair in the candlelight.

And you were too crushed to resist.

Far too tired.

Endlessly too weak, he’d shown you over and over.

So, you accepted his touches to cast off his ire.

Even as he pulled you from the bath, flush to his body while he wrapped you in a fluffy towel, you smiled despite the bulge pressing into your abdomen.

Even as he massaged you with earthy smelling oils, cooing about how beautiful and sacred your body was, you thanked him despite the disgust that brewed so deep in you like some hellish brine pool.

Even as he fucked you like a lover, clasping your hands to the sheets and mixing you with him as he brought you to the edge again and again, you moaned with him despite how the stretch of his cock still aggravated old wounds.

Even as he filled you up with his cum, crying out about how well you took him, what a ‘good girl’ you were, your cries crashed with his in pretty harmony despite how rotten you should’ve felt.

Because, at the end of the day, sated, cleaned and loved in his arms, the old scars didn’t ache so bad if he kissed you sweetly. If you smiled at him as he smiled at you, Keigo was kind like a companion, mate and lover should be.

As you drifted off, you were okay with the weight of his wings bearing over your fucked-out body.

It was easier this way,

Maybe even better.

[wri0thesley]

Im such a clown for ppl having to learn to depend on others who wont let them down despite like every other time before. So could i get some la squadra headcanons for a new teammate who usually has to pull lone wolf stuff or only has ppl depend on them actually working with others and developing concern for the team? Theyd probably get spoken to a few times at first because of the unfriendly attitude but the power of friendship prevails and they end up actually being a sweetie who just couldnt show that part before 😌 (please and thank you)

beneath the cut!

Risotto is used to being a lone wolf himself, so he totally understands your predicament - however, you’re now a member of a team, and you have not yet proven yourself as worthy or capable of handling things alone. He’s not one for scoldings - he doesn’t have time, and he’s awkward enough that he doesn’t like doing it - but he will pull you into his office to look into your eyes with his own, both pitch-dark and blood-red, as he tells you in that low rumbling voice that you have to learn to work as a team, even if you’re not used to it. He might even take charge of being your partner himself - after all, the rest of La Squadra are already paired up, and as the rookie you’re at risk of being more hindrance than help. The first time that you act out on your own to protect him, Risotto’s lips curl into a smile, even as you go hot all over and awkward. Your walls are very slowly coming down, and Risotto is happy to help in that process. 

Formaggio thinks your insistence on being alone is so funny, and he seeks to ruin it in any way possible. As the heart of the team, he considers it his duty to try and get you to laugh and to smile, whether the two of you are on a mission together or whether you’re just in the hideout. You get incredibly frustrated by his easy-going personality, the way he laughs and slaps you on the back - but when you snap back at him, there’s a strange glint in his eye that suggests you’re on thin ice, so you try to control yourself. In the end, he gently pulls and coaxes laughter out of you too. When your defenses are finally down and you don’t know how to admit that you care, Formaggio is the first one you go to with your predicament, and his careful handling (surprisingly sensitive) helps you along with the rest of the squad enormously. 

Illuso knows that you’re sweet at heart, because Illuso has seen and spoken to your former friends, sees you when you don’t know he’s there, and has all of the intelligence on you that he could ask for. He watches the way that you establish yourself as a loner in La Squadra with interest and holds his cards close to his chest, because he is always waiting to see how he can use them to benefit himself. When you come back from missions with Formaggio with a light smile on your face, he can’t help but grin to himself in return too that your defenses are falling. He won’t take an active part in the attempt to get you to open up your heart, but his own lone nature means that the two of you never really get into arguments either. He’s quick to embrace the new you when it comes out - it’s nice to be fussed over a little bit. 

Prosciutto, born and raised in the mafia, knows that the good of the all should come before the good of the many - and for that reason, he finds you abhorrent at first. He understands your desire to be solitary, but he’s forever sharply barking at you about how selfish it is for you to be like this. You need to get along with everyone else so that the team can work smoothly. He tells you that you don’t need to be friends with them, but the absolute least you could do is work with them as equals, because it’s downright insulting that you seem to think you can do everything on your own. He’s one of the most wary when your true colours start to show - he has a tendency to make snap judgements on a person’s character, and he’d had you pegged for selfish. Still. One of the things he values most in other people is potential, and you have that in spades, so he clenches his fists and hopes it’s not a trick. The longer that everything goes on, though, the easier it is for Prosciutto to see that your initial reactions to everything were a self-defense mechanism - and as a man who puts up his own walls and barriers, he can understand that. 

Pesci is a little scared of you. Honestly, you remind him of Prosciutto in that you don’t seem to need anybody else around you, only instead of dedicating yourself to helping those weaker than yourself, you seem to want to protect them - all on your own. He’s much too scared of you to shout at you or complain, and he’s only ever out with you on a mission with Prosciutto who does the scolding himself. When you and Formaggio have that talk about you wanting to let your true self shine through, Pesci is the first person you go to in order to apologise. Your much sweeter, gentler, more giving nature wins him over completely - and he’s key, too, in making sure that Prosciutto accepts your new self. 

Melone is not deterred by your desire to act alone. Melone is not deterred by much - he’s a constant presence at your side, talking and flirting and smirking and ignoring you when you tell him to leave you alone. Whilst you can attempt to be a lone wolf in his presence, it’s likely you will not succeed - and in his constant talking, he manages to eke out information like your blood type and your star-sign. With these, he occasionally gives you small smiles - he knows, you see, that these things predispose you to being generous and kind and sweet. He knows, too, then, that you’re putting on an act - and when your true self is revealed, he’s smug in the knowledge that he predicted it. He doesn’t treat you any differently from before, though - Melone was ignoring your attempts to be solitary from the very beginning. 

Ghiaccio’s pissed off by you. What else is new? He’s pissed off in various ways at various times at every member of the team in turn, so it’s no surprise - but it’s a surprise to him that you don’t seem to care about his anger, that you simply go off on your own. He yells at you on missions about how you’re endangering everyone by not thinking of anyone but yourself - how you have to learn to get along when you’re in a group like this together (which is rich, coming from him). But after you have begun to mellow out, and you’re concerned . . . well. You would expect Ghiaccio to sniff at you and snark about how this isn’t going to fool him, but Ghiaccio too has had to unlearn some things now he’s part of a team and he sees his former self mirrored in you. He sees that you’re trying to do better - so he accepts it, and if he gets flustered when your sweet nature is applied to him, nobody needs to know that. 

Sorbet and Gelato keep themselves to themselves. They’re grudgingly impressed by your insistence on doing the same thing, though when you’re assigned to work with them on a mission, they find you endlessly frustrating. They move as one, looking out for one another - and as the oldest and most experienced members of the team, they don’t appreciate that they suddenly feel like they have to babysit you. Gelato speaks to you harshly - as a former military man, he hates that streak of the ‘lone wolf’ in you most of all when it puts the rest of the team at risk. When your softer side starts coming through, after spending so much time with other members, they ease up on you a little bit. Still, they’re never going to be overly friendly - they’ve got each other, and they need very little else. They will make fun of your occasionally sappy smiles and your sweet sudden concern for everyone though. They’re the most likely to bitingly remind you of just how unfriendly you were when you first came to La Squadra. 

[tooweirdforyou]

Home » With Ace

A/N : AAAAHH I KNOW IM NOT DOING REQUESTS BUT I CAN’T HELP BUT WORK ON MY OWN IDEAS— T^T

Inspired by the New Years ep. of Fruits Basket! :)) and a little bit by the song, Home.

note : modern! AU, Husband! Ace

Summary : Having encouraged Ace to go home to spend the new year with his family, you spend this special occasion alone, only for a unexpected visitor to come. Idk

-

“Are you positive, [Name]?”

Chuckling a bit at his paranoid persistence, you couldn’t help but smile at him for it. You thought it was cute how much he cared for you.

“Yes, I’m positive. Go spend some time at home with Pops, for the holiday, okay? I’m sure Marco, Thatch and the others miss you.”

Ace pouts as he looks up at the sky, leaning against the stop-sign at the end of the block, the bright moon shining down on him with the lightest snow sprinkling down.

“It’s not too late come with.”

He hums, a softer smile presenting onto his face as he exhales out, the puff of smoke erupting from his lips due to the cold.

You snuggle under your blanket and glance to the picture frame standing on your bedside table. “Tempting, but I’m okay. Go spend it at home with your family, Ace. I’ll see you a couple days after New Years?”

Ace’s soft smile turns a bit bitter and sad as he nods, regardless of you not being able to see it.

“Yeah.. see you after New Years.”

“...”

Unable to hold your smile any longer, you just fidgeted with the brand new ring on your left finger a bit before hearing him again.

“Hey, I love you.”

“Yeah.. I love you... see you.”

With that, you hung up on him and set your phone down, staring blankly in your lap.

Ace, almost sensing the weak and sad tone in your voice, felt his heart break just a little bit as he closed his eyes and brought his phone down dejectedly.

Staring down at his ring wrapped around his finger on his left hand, he glanced at the time on his wrist and sighs once more.

“Time to go.”

-

“Home.. the place where I can go.. to take this off my shoulders.. someone take me home..”

Singing the soft tune, your fingers unknowingly grip the picture frame tighter, every note weaker than the last.

Glossy eyes looked down at the photo, seeing a happy family together. Two parents, their children in front of them and bright smiles plastered across their faces.

And in the back, if you flipped it, marked a date. The date of when you last saw them, before the accident. The accident, that costed their lives.

Tears dripped onto the picture frame in your lap, wetting the glass. Sniffles can be heard from you, as you sat in silence in your bed.

“Someone.. take me.. home.”

-

“Ace! I’m glad you could make it, it’s been a while since you visited!” Thatch grins widely, patting his shoulder once the raven-haired male entered the home.

“Yeah.. how’ve you been?” Ace, still feeling a bit skeptic of leaving you at home all alone, just plasters the best smile he could to his brother.

“Been great! Where’s your partner? You just got married right? Congrats, by the way.”

“.. they didn’t want to impose so they’re at home.”

“Alone?” A new voice questions, and the two men turn to see another fellow brother, with a pineapple yellow and style hair.

“Marco.” Ace nods, greeting and acknowledging him which Marco does the same. “Your significant other is home alone? They don’t have family?”

“Yeah. They died in an accident a few months ago..” Ace mumbles, sliding off his jacket and Marco exchanged a glance with Thatch.

“Spending New Years all alone without family? Not even any friends?” Thatch frowns softly, pulling away from Ace.

Ace pauses to think a bit, his coat halfway off his arms.

“I can’t imagine what the feeling must be like, having to spent New Years all alone.. going through a new year all by yourself, must be a terrible way to start it off.”

Slowly, realization was filling Ace inside, worry and panic slowly seeping in, as he pulled back on his jacket.

“Spending and going through New Years with family every year, just to experience the first one without them?.. must be heartbreaking.”

Scrambling to zip up his coat, Ace nearly tripped as he ran back over to the front door to pull on his shoes, shocking the two other males.

“Ace? Where are you going?”

“I’m going home!”

With that, Ace pulled open the door and slammed it shut behind him as he began to run. Even if his legs have out or he slipped on ice, he didn’t stop running.

Whitebeard, who was listening from behind the corner, smiles softly to himself at the little plan his two boys Thatch and Marco came up with.

“Clever.” Whitebeard comments, revealing himself to the two.

Not surprised, Marco and Thatch simply smiled and turned to their Pops.

“I didn’t think any of us would allow Ace to spend New Years away from his significant other.” Thatch hums, stretching his arms and let them lay behind his head.

“I’m sure you would have gave him a beating if he actually chose to stay here after leaving them at home alone.” Marco adds, crossing his arms as he smiles softly.

Whitebeard chortles as he turns away. “You’re damn right I would. Leave him be. It won’t hurt to have one New Years without him.”

-

Playing the same song on repeat, you were laying down, enjoying the music softly playing in the background and continued to stare at the picture frame above you in your hands.

“Someone take me home... someone take me-“

There was a loud, pounding knock on your door.

Startled, you sat up on your bed and sniffed, wiping any tears that gave yet to dry, and walked over to the door, leaving your room.

The knocking didn’t stop.

“It’s New Year’s Eve....” you mumble to yourself, wondering who the hell was at the door, and finally making it, you pull open the door.

And there he was.

Standing on your porch, right outside your doorway, stood someone you very least expected.

“Ace?”

“Hi..”

Brows furrowed as you watch him standing there, clearly out of breath and covered in the snow that was falling.

“Hi?.. Ace... what are you doing here? I thought you were going home to spend time with—“

Dropping his bag, Ace lunges himself towards you immediately, pressing his lips with yours, cheeks being caressed and cupped by his hands.

Your eyes widen as you stood frozen, still processing what he was doing and what was occurring.

His cold thumbs successfully wiping away at the teardrops that were streaming down your cheeks from your silent crying earlier.

Though his lips were chapped, they weren’t at all cold.

All they gave you was love and warmth, which was more than enough to block out the cold since the door was still wide open.

Soon enough, your arms stretch themselves around his neck desperately, more tears streaming down your wet cheeks as you eagerly kissed him back.

It didn’t take long for Ace to pull away, looking down at your glossy, tear-filled eyes with his lips still centimeters away.

The softest whisper came out as he wiped your tears once more.

“I am home. You are my home.”

And so, he presses his lips against yours once more.

-

A/N : AAAAH I THOUGHT THIS WAS CUTEEEE!

okay but Fr, I know the song didn’t make too much sense..? But. I wrote it and I didn’t wanna change it because I’m lazy.

I hope you enjoyed this!! And I’m SO SORRY requests aren’t coming out- TuT

[fixielixie]

(because I love nielan too) nielan for the ship it/don't ship it questions

❤nielan❤ Ship It

What made you ship it?

look you have me at 'preppy smiley guy' and 'gruff and stern guy'. like what a fun dynamic. also i saw some art of nielan (donghua character designs) and was like YES THIS PLEASE. i think i first read it as a background thing in a fic and i was like hmm inch resting and the more i thought about it the more i liked it. just... so good. deserves so much more love

What are your favorite things about the ship?

probably their character dynamics. i love characters that balance each other out and can bring sides out of each other that they might never have explored before and i feel like nielan have so much potential. also they are the older brothers, the clan heirs and then sect leaders, i feel like they could really rely on each other.

i love the concept of the nie and lan clans holding meetings for the kids to build better relation and nmj and lxc immediately hitting it off because like... who else can understand both the stress of looking after your younger sibling and also the expectations of of being the heir. maybe it was a little rocky at the start bc nmj thinks lxc is two faced, who could be that nice and smiley all the time, before realising that lxc allows himself to be softer, doesnt want to be harden with age or his position. that he makes a conscious effort to be nice because very few people bother now-a-days. and that a big part of the reason why he is the way he is is for his brother. and like, that mind blowing to nmj because ...,, thats why he acts like he does. he shows off how strong he is all the time because he knows his brother is weaker, is not interesting in fighting and is probably never going to be a strong cultivator so he needs to be that for him, so no one can beat nhs down.

also just to be cliche, the thought of the huge stern buff guy having such a soft spot for his partner. like one second hes beating the shit out of someone and the next hes giving lxc a peck on the cheek bc he just shows up to the unclean realm for a visit and walked into the practice pitch. or the opposite with lxc dropping his smile for someone whos talking shit about the nies and their sect leader, letting them have it. maybe throwing a few punches.

ahhhh nmj being the first one to get lxc drunk and having to deal with a clingy and giggling tipsy lxc hanging off of him (lxc is defo one of those 'do you know how much i love you' drunks). and nmj baring it while blushing fiercely and when lxc teases him about his red cheeks he blames it on the alcohol.

..... im getting ahead of myself skdhfdjkg

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

my unpopular opinion is that it should be more popular. especially because i personally think that the lxc ships are so lacking. like if youre gonna ship this side character with anyone, why not the guy whom he still actually likes and has always liked??? (will never get the popularity of xicheng makes me want to scream. JIANG CHENG DOES NOT DESERVE A LAN BOY!!!!!!!!)

[beautifulterriblequeen]

im curious about what ethari said to rayla when he dispelled the banishment. "you know im not as strong as the others" and then rayla looked sad? maybe something happened to ethari that affected his magic somehow? or maybe his magic works differently and thats why hes the local enchanter/artificier but i cant stop thinking about the face rayla made when he said that.

I had another look at that scene, and you know what? Rayla’s not just looking down. She’s looking right at Ethari’s pendant. 

Ethari starts to explain they don’t have much time. Rayla gets distracted by his pendant and gets sad over losing her other adoptive dad. But Ethari literally bends down and puts his face in her line of sight and moves her hands around to get her to stop focusing on what they’ve lost. He wants her to focus on him, because there really isn’t much time before his interruption of the ghost spell will wear off.

And I think that’s very good for Ethari. He’s been lost in grief for two or three weeks. He’s probably working nonstop, exhausted, at the end of his emotional rope. He has no one to care for. Runaan and Rayla will never come back, and he’s at loose ends. So he crafts and creates, hoping to put more good into the world, hoping someone can use it. But it’s likely that no one comes by to talk to him, considering Rayla’s ghosting. So he’s alone and spinning. 

Until Rayla comes back, and as exhausted and lost as he is, he finally has someone to connect with and take care of. After his outburst in the workshop, he heads for her, not only because she needs him, but because he needs her, too. He’s soft with her, even when he questions her about why his husband had to die.(Man, they really could’ve said so much more. Why are Moonshadow conversations always so truncated and dramatic?)

As far as Ethari’s magic goes, I think he means that his arcanum might be weaker, and maybe therefore less Moonshadowy. He’s certainly softer and more forthright than all the other Moonshadows we’ve seen. But he’s deep in grief as well, and just like wine and rage, grief makes you tell the truth. 

I think Ethari knows what it’s like to be considered less than. If his magic was weaker, he might not have been strong enough for the more prestigious Moonshadow positions, like assassins. But he wanted to help his people anyway, so he studied, and he studied hard. He’s a Ravenclaw. He has earned his position, and everyone respects that. His work speaks for itself. He doesn’t need to be magically strong if he can find his own way to help those around him. An arcanum isn’t everything. And that might be far more valuable a lesson later on than anyone expects.

Ethari has the most flexible mindset among the adult Moonshadows we’ve met, and I think that is a direct result of his weaker arcanum and his good heart working together. He’s in the perfect position to move future plot points: He wants to help, and he knows how to help. And just in case he doesn’t? He’ll go read up on it first.

[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Deja Vu”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MY TIME HAS COME 2.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FULL INSOMNIA MODE DONT. LOOK. AT. ME.

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG OKAY LETS JUMP RIGHT INTO IT i wasnt expecting something lowkey sad BUT im not mad at it!!!!!!!!!! i had conflicting emotions when i desperately wanted to cry but also headbang?????? HOWEVER thanks to force and air the tears in my eyes were drying as i headbanged- LIKE this song really PUT ME THROUGH IT like that chorus didnt have tO DO ME LIKE THAT™!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THEN THE VERSES AND THE PRE-CHORUSES WERE SLOW (and the bridge but bridges be like that in nearly all songs) WHICH IM ACTUALLY REALLY INTO it was like being in a roller coaster with the verses being the slow hill and the chorus was the fall THAT PIANO GOES HARD...................... but like in a soft way????? DONT ASK ME WHAT IM SAYING IS IM A HOE™ FOR PIANO THOSE DRUMS DURING THE CHORUS STOP IT I CANNOT I FELT THEM VIBRATE THROUGH MY BONES

like i DEADASS have nothing to criticize or change about this song its PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS (except for like more gahyeon and dami????? pls??????)

siyeon starting the song.......................... thank you.............. I STILL STAND BY SAYING I WOULD LISTEN TO HER VOICE FOR LITERALLY FOREVER HER VOICE DURING THE CHORUS QUEEN OF SINGING CHORUSES OH BUT THEN THAT HIGH NOTE ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????? SHE DIDNT HAVE TO KILL ME LIKE THIS BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH I- and now....... im in the deja vu P L E A S E

gaaaaaaaahhhyeeeeeooonnnn her voice is so pretty!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!! HOWEVER youre the second one to sing with this beautiful gentleness of a part and to be honest this part paired with siyeon starting it really eases you into the song and its quite the blessing to hear thanks- and then yknow this part right after handong........................... Heaven™

SPEAKING OF HANDONG LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE AMOUNT OF LINES SHE HAS MAKES ME WANNA CRY OKAY THIS PART RIGHT HERE............................. PLS.............. (i think its just me but theres a smaller voice singing like right under her voice????) HER PRE-CHORUS PARTS ARE LITERALLY THE BEST PARTS IN THE WHOLE SONG TO LISTEN TO pls believe me when i say this its NOT bc shes my ultimate bias like i genuinely like her parts the most

sua pls i was already prepared for softer vocals and you really gave that to me and then this is absolute perfection they were beautiful and amazing OF COURSE got me feeling like i was floating on actually clouds god TAHNK YOU AND THEN YOU JUST HAD TO HIT ME WITH YOUR PART RIGHT HERE???? i understand its just the chorus but I Felt That™ okay!!!!!!

JIU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i stand by saying how your voice be powerful as hell still even during these lines VERY short but VERY effective and very good leading into the chorus i love- and then your bridge....................... B I C T H really put me in my feelings but i welcome it with EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING and with open arms.......................

YOOHYEON AKA THE OTHER QUEEN OF SINGING CHORUSES I MEAN..................................... I LITERALLY DUNNO WHAT TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE THEIR BEAUTIFUL SOUNDING HER VOICE GOES WELL WITH THEM like i really like the parts she sings after siyeon like................. Y O O F if a feather became a voice-

i need more dami too..................... P L E A S E like obviously with their other songs i was expecting dami to be in the second verse and with a smooth rap section and the former was correct HOWEVER to my pleasant surprise SHE SANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her singing voice suited this SO MUCH and im actually glad there wasnt a rap part at all in this song especially that SECOND PART.................. Heaven™ 2x

my favorite lyrics (x): i know i said handongs were my favorite to listen to but i like these lines dont hurt me

난 이 숨결이 허락되는 날까지 As long as I can breathe 다신 너를 놓을 수 없어 I can’t let go of you again 우린 모든 순간 함께 할 테니 We’ll be together for every moment 내 곁에서 beside me

THE DANCE OKAY IM GONNA DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT ill be referring to THIS PERFORMANCE can we pls talk about how loud the fanchant is im crying and really take it in and all of their talented glory ANYWAY OF COURSE the choreography F UKCING SLAPS just so many different position changes and just alwaYS SO IN SYNC WITH EACH OTHER ITS INSANE ill just list them briefly and keep the points short this is long enough:

THE BEGINNING AND THE END BEING THE SAME...................... CERTAINLY DEJA VU-

SIYEONS TUTTING THING THANKS

handongs majestic spin

this and this with how the formation changes and how their arms swing AND the kick

ALSO in those parts in the last bullet i dunno why but i like that move jiu does when she sings IT HITS

i recall sua spoiling literally the first move of the chorus dance in that vlive THE CHORUS DANCE ALL THOSE FORMATION CHANGES LITERALLY MESS ME UP and THIS most important move in the entire choreography and they line up and its SO COOL to look at

when they lie on each other doing yoohyeons lines

handongs part again when theyre in the line and how satisfying it is to watch

THE ENTIRE BRIDGE

LITERALLY THE ENTIRE DANCE FROM START TO FINISH

QUEENS OF STABILITY

sidenote: can we talk about how handong and dami?????? literally spin during their parts????? and they sounded super clear??????

THE VISUALS SO.......................... if you had asked me two days ago (maybe a little bit of yesterday) about how i felt about this video.................. i wouldve mentioned some unpopular opinions regarding the videos look............ i mentioned to gwen @loonapunk that i wasnt TOO into it............ BUT- after finally sitting down to do this long ass post i dont hate it!!!!!!!!!!!! i think bc i have to remind myself that this song (album???? well song-) is for that kings raid game and all the visuals AND story are based off that????? i dunno BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS I LIKE TO WATCH IT

IM TOO BIG STUPID™ TO COMPREHEND THIS STORYLINE AND COME UP WITH MY OWN THEORIES EVEN NOW AND I WOULD L O V E TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU BUT THIS IS LONG ENOUGH AS IT IS SO ILL REDIRECT YOU TO THEORY POSTS (TWO (2) FROM MY GALAXY BRAIN MOOTS) THAT I LIKED:

@highsomnia NITAS POST WHICH I PERSONALLY FOUND ENJOYABLE TO READ SO IF YOU COULD READ THIS YOU SHOULD ALSO READ THAT

@in-somnias ELENAS POST WHICH WAS ALSO AN INTERESTING READ RIGHT HERE

AND THEN THIS ONE THAT WAS ORIGINALLY FROM TWITTER i dont follow her so im not gonna @

AIIGHT IMMA GO CRAZY WITH THESE SHOTS (with only small one/two sentence captions this is LONG ENOUGH):

BICTH I SAW THIS AND KNEW I WAS GONNA GET GOT™ like its just super duper INCREDIBLY PRETTY TO LOOK AT

THIS WILL BE FOREVER ICONIC™ DONT ARGUE WITH ME

this is what the calm before the storm looks like

went back to the mv film making video and turns out they got slippers on under that table love that for them

how in the hell am i supposed to interpret this exchange

okay longer section i think im supposed to interpret this more as a sister bond than a romantic one?????? i remember being taken aback and believed this to be something gay BUT 99.9% OF INSOMNIAS say its gay subtext so ill just put it like that i dunno but like i just wanna say they have beautiful smiles and im love them!!!

a youtuber reacting to this mv saying it just looks like theyre shading each other.................... anyway-

i CANNOT i repeat I CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU how Shook™ i was when i saw this for the first time i basically jumped out of my chair i couldnt i-

this mv really led me to believe jiu was the evil one.............................

POETIC. CINEMA.

THE WOMAN. THE MYTH. THE LEGEND. THE FIREBENDER. THE WOLF. LEE SIYEON. pls light me up

Symbolism™................ SYMBOLISM I CANNOT COMPREHEND GO TO THE THEORIES

MORE SYMBOLISM GO TO THE THEORIES

T H E M

NOT ONLY IS THIS VIDEO SUPER AESTHETIC™ BUT THE SEVEN (7) MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD BLESSING US ONCE AGAIN WITH THEIR PRESENCE AND ALLOWED THEIR ROYALTY VIBES SHOOT INTO THE MESOSPHERE INTO REAL LIFE KILLING ALL OF US

THE DANCING SCENES WITH THE TEASER OUTFITS...................................... AT EASE.....................

LITERALLY NO COMPLAINTS MOVING ON:

JIU

L I S T E N KIM MINJI YOURE A FULL PRINCESS this pink fluffy dress with the flower crown in this picture............................ i may have cried- like a lot of people were trying this look to persephone and im HERE for that concept for her and like the white outfit AND black outfit is probably super symbolic again im too Big Stupid™ anyway when i saw that black outfit in the teaser........................... i was attacked jiu with a sword is just EVERYTHING i wanted and more

SUA

LITERALLY I CANNOT- her hair being wavy looks SO GOOD on her THIS BLACK DRESS WITH THE FLOWERS she is always a Serve™ WE KNOW THAT but her visuals just HIT DIFFERENT this time lighter colored hair really suits her and then of course she looks FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC in the dance scenes in the white and the black that low pony tail pls

SIYEON

purple on this woman just shoulders and collarbones out being Beautiful™ ALL THE WHILE staying ON BRAND with herself and was wearing pants good for her G O D i just love the way her hair looks in the white and gold outfits like it just LOOKS PRETTY to me i dunno how to describe it also her with a pony tail WHAT ARE YOU SO PRETTY FOR-

HANDONG

i just................... want closer shots of this.................. CLOSER SHOTS IN GENERAL OF HER ACTUALLY like LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL™ SHE LOOKS HERE I WANNA SEE MORE OF IT??????? PLS??????? nothing gets me weaker than her hair being styled exactly like in the picture i just love that her royalty and regal vibes and looks were FINALLY realized and WAS BROUGHT TO THE FOREFRONT

YOOHYEON

THIS MV MUST CONVINCE ME SHE IS EVIL BY SHOWING HER FOREHEAD first of all the first outfit turning her into an Actual Entire Princess™/Queen™ that red one i dont really understand SHE MAKES IT WORK THO THEN THAT BLACK OUTFIT LISTEN yo it was like getting hit by a whole truck full speed i wasnt ready and i just wanna admire that yoohyeon and gray colored hair is an actual match made in heaven i just have to say-

DAMI

i love this suit and the patten on it so much this outfits color (what is that teal????) and her hair color is such a GOOD PAIRING and on her SHE JUST KILLED ME WITH HER SOLO SCENES i wish i had more to say about her and her outfits but what else can i say other than that she is INSANELY ATTRACTIVE AND I WANT HER TO STEP ON ME???????

GAHYEON

she really broke my neck when i saw her the first time LIKE DEADASS LOOK AT THIS PICTURE i had fallen for her and i cannot get up when i saw this outfit in the other shots like the black top and the see through sleeves but her skirt is like different colors she really Served™ in this outfit bangs usually look cute but in her solo parts she was coming for my heart like miss lee gahyeon pls-

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (just short thoughts and point out specific parts i liked lmao)

Intro:

their intros always slap are you kidding me-

The curse of the Spider

i wasnt ready for this bop to slap me in the face on my spotify that chorus didnt have to do that to me THAT GUITAR DIDNT HAVE TO DO THAT TO ME i love the way dami and handong sound in this song i mean wrow-

favorite lyrics (x):

소름이 끼칠 만큼 It’s chilling 도망치고 싶어질 it makes me want to run away 그런 두려움일 테니 such is this fear

Silent Night

B I H C T i knew when i heard this in the highlight it was going to be my favorite one IT REALLY WOKE SOMETHING IN ME these lyrics i cant- gahyeon and handong hurted me with their lower registers Y AL L YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HURTED ME THAT D R O P DID

favorite lyrics (x):

겨눈 칼 끝은 a blade directed at someone 결국 돌아오게 돼 eventually returns 더 다가오지 마 don’t come closer

Polaris

this song is as if i was wrapped in the thickest blanket i got and im resting on the softest bed in the world with a fireplace going nearby and i could finally rest peacefully bc the lord knows i need it- i really cried a little bit listening to this pls leave me be i legit cant pick a specific member i liked the most for this song i just love it and everything it got

favorite lyrics (x):

그게 너라서 행복해 I’m happy that it’s you 그 많은 인연 속에 Among those numerous connections 수많은 사람 중에 Among those numerous people

LIKE im so completely satisfied with every song on this album and im completely in love with it!!!!!!!!!! the only ‘issue’ i really had was with the mv visually but as you read i warmed up to it lmao LIKE IM JUST SO PROUD OF THESE WOMEN AND HOW TALENTED AND HARDWORKING THEY ARE like i have to say the japanese release?????? and this????? being so close to each other????? you telling me they learned TWO (2) different choreographies one after the other???? i absolutely love this album and i desperately desperately DESPERATELY want so much more success for them bc ITS WHAT THEY DESERVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is supposed to be just about the overall mv and deja vu but i might as well just type what i feel lmao

IN CONCLUSION: MY INSOMNIA ASS IS BOTH ALIVE AND DEAD BUT MOSTLY ALIVE I LOVE THIS IM STREAMING

i have to bring this back its relevant again:

[ask-s-offenderman]

Offenderman Hello sorry i cant said my name im 8 age and i like you... :)

hehehe do you like me too :)? -------------------------------------- Arc: well this is his proxy speaking instead of offender. im the one who mostly runs the blog for him. but kid, offender is a really bad choice of characters to be interested in at your age. heck, half the reason i’m even here is to help better protect people like you from a genuinely obscenely dangerous monster. so im stepping in here, and im not gonna let Sexual Offenderman talk to you. if you want i can explain to you why and point you in the right direction of some of the more canonical stuff of his, as i expect you have probably more been exposed to a softer, funnier fan made interpretation of him that ignores how horrifying he can be. but as is, i can’t trust you to really have the context to understand what it is you’re doing and how dangerous it is. like worse than trying to walk up to a tiger and pat it on the nose kinds of dangerous, because at least with the tiger , if you survive the initial getting ripped appart by it’s teeth and claws then your fine and you just have to deal with the scars and such. But with offender.... With him it’s more like that one greek myth of the guy chained to a rock where every day he get’s his stomach ripped open by an eagle and every night his wounds heal, only to get ripped open the next day, with it going on every day for years and years while the guy is helpless to do anything about it. sure he may give the impression of being a funny or caring guy sometimes. but don't mistake that for him actually caring about anyone. not when he’s just as likely to put you in a position such as breaking both your legs and torturing you until you’re so emotionally damaged that you commit suicide to escape. and i know a lot of people your age often try to snap back at me that they’re big horror fans and think that sort of thing is cool. but let me tell ya, until you’ve been in a position where you would have gotten that desperate, like if you haven't actually ever been locked in a room and left to starve for days and not be allowed to go to the bathroom so you are stuck going in the room your trapped in so then it smells awful for days and you can’t take a shower to clean yourself off and on and on of all the horrible things that come with actually living through a terrible situation? Then you being a fan of fictional horror doesn't matter in the slightest because you personally still cannot actually mentally put yourself in the position of the victim having to survive. You’re still thinking of things like an observer, or as another killer helping out, or basically as anyone exempt from having to actually suffer in the scenario. but you don’t have that luxury with offender. you’re a frail human who has to sleep and eat and wear shoes or else your feet will get stabbed full of glass as you’re running away from a monster that could easily snap your neck between two fingers. Which means you cannot actually imagine what it would be like to go up against offenderman. And that’s me not even getting into the worst parts of what he can and will do. the stuff he’s called Sexual Offenderman for. The stuff that’s so bad that society as a whole puts in all these protections in for and tries to keep away from people your age. Stuff that’s so bad, i used to end up staying up until 4 in the morning for days at a time just talking people out of their suicidal thoughts that they have as a consequence of these sort of things im talking about. and they weren’t like that because they were weaker than you They were like that because how just how bad this shit can be So in the off chance you also behave like many other people your age who have come to me, and have been told similar things to what i have said to you, and who will still choose not to take things seriously? who will still think that they are the exception? the one person for who all the dangers doesn't matter? the person who would survive unscathed no matter what?

I guess consider this your warning. I wont be playing along with you on that. Even if you don’t have enough experience to know better, I do. And I know that going up against offender means facing those things. so if you aren’t ready to face how depressing, scary, and unfair things can be, you should find something better and more exciting to do with your free time instead of sticking with something that is deliberately made to be not fun. because you wont find what you seem to be looking for here.

[rkseongmin]

MGA SEASON 4 EPISODE 2 90 SECOND PERFORMANCE - - - [ 가시나 cover 0:09 -- 1:39 ]

hyunjoon has never been so nervous for something his whole life.

literally, he could count on one hand the amount of times he has been really nervous for something. there was the first time he cooked dinner for the family, it had been a big deal because normally he hadn’t been allowed to cook alone but this one he did all by himself. then there was the time he got caught backstage--he hadn’t been sneaking around--by cameo from empty enigma and he was so sure his rock idol was going to kill him.

and now there’s this.

in the long run his being here was his own fault. he auditioned due to his parents mocking him about not having any passion or anything and it had been enough to spark hyunjoons temper to get him at that audition. he never once expected to even make it past the initial audition, thinking that not only his younger age of inexperience and overall lack of real talent in anything but dance would have him out the door before he could even say his name. yet here he is, walking in with everyone else to a stage here he would have to put on another performance in front of 5 BIG CEO’S of the potential company he could end in if he makes it a significant distance in the show. Any of these five could pull him from the crowd and be like we want you and then he finds himself whisked away to trainee life. Something he never considered for himself.

But he’s here. He’s number one even #4001. He doesn’t know how he feels about being on the show LET ALONE being number one. He guesses one good thing about this would be he gets done with his stuff sooner and can just observe the rest. But it also means he sets the stage. He starts the show off for everyone.

They’re seated by numbers, odd on one side, even on the other. Leaving hyunjoon seated next to the junmyeon guy he remembered in episode 1. The one who had a lot of screen time and this only proves to further hyunjoons stress. Because the cameras are bound to be on this guy often enough already and with hyunjoon being right next to him. He worries this means attention will be brought to him as well. But junmyeon turns out to be nice enough, and hyunjoon is able to find his calm again talking to the older male. The teen actually responding as opposed his normal tight lipped routine. He was too tense to keep himself quite, the excitable 15 year old in him slowly making an appearance.  

Besides, sungho hyung was right. No need for dramatics, it’ll work out, just be prepared. And that’s what he keep in mind to keep him going. His hyungs words keep him centered through recording, kept him calm as they waited for all contestants to be seated and for the performances to start--for hyunjoon to be called up. He knows sungho had been worried, the older male doesn’t outright show or say his feelings rather like hyunjoon, but the teen can just tell these things. and he wants to keep a brave face, and do his best too make sungho proud.

He walks onto stage once called with a calm expression, his body appearing relaxed something he is so good at faking and has been good at faking. He has always been amazing at keepin his emotions how he wants them, total control and all that. Hyunjoon knows what he wants to portray to the CEO’S knows what look he is going for. Because while initially he had freaked out about all of this, he realized not only could this be an amazing experience. But he wants to dance. He likes dancing, he’s liked dancing since he joined orion with haknyeon and juyeon. Came to love it during the idol dance class and getting to meet ricky once again. There’s a reason Taemin is one of his favorite public trainee’s from KT and why he likes NOVA so much. He’s a dancer. He’s in control of himself and he wants to prove that he isn’t just a closed off teenager.

Hyunjoon stands before the judges, his knees a little wobbly because this is so much more intense than busking for some random people in hongdae. “Im heo hyunjoon, 15 years olds and master of the wink. Im shooting arrows to capture everyone’s heart.” he has no idea what he’s saying but every newly debut rookie group always says cheesy things so he figured he could give it a try. He lives on stan twitter enough to know these things. As he spoke he made sure to mime the action of drawing back a bow and arrow and shooting it, winking as the arrow was released. “Thank you for your time!” he finished with a bow. The music kicks on, and he gets serious.

Your cold eyes They kill me The fire in your heart that used to grow Why are there only ashes remaining? Maybe time is medicine But I’m getting weaker The sad pain is getting numb too

He choose gashina after going back and forth between a few songs. He hadn’t been sure if he wanted to come off as a hard dancer and do some intense dark boy group song, or a softer contemporary style. He has no real training for dance so he knew he wouldn’t be able to do a set style, and it was after going through a few routines they do during busking that he realized he could do a mix of both. Gashina mixes in some softer areas with the intense ones. Cute to serious. He could make it work and do both ideas he had for this performance.  

The song starts him on his knees, he decided to open the dance with a more of a cute feel. He knows thanks to haknyeon that when he smiles his cheeks become more mochi like and he figures he could use that appeal by starting off with a small smile. His eyes curving just a bit, and expression he rarely ever lets anyone see mostly because it normally leads to someone pinching his cheeks. The music goes and he’s going with it, walking forward on the floor with his hands so he was stretch out a bit but making the move softer by laying on his tummy and kicking his feet back and forth a little, his chin cupped in his hands. He fuels his embarrassment for how he was acting into just making it cuter, knowing his cheeks were probably a touch red.  

Fine, I’ll forget you I’m gonna live like a flower, I’ll be myself Can’t nobody stop me now No try me

Everyone wants my scent But only you don’t know, like a fool Are you sure you’re not crazy?

He slides up from the floor as the beat changes and the lyrics start. His expression shifting so quickly to a more serious, more collected one. Fitting with expression that should be displayed as he gets through the song. About thirty seconds the song hits the pre chorus, and the cute switch is back on. His hands raising up smoothly as a smile takes over. He’s back to his knees for a brief second, and as he stand back up, he changes the action with his arms to make it so he was pulling finger hearts from his shirt, an almost teasing smirk on his face. The expression of a playful teen who just wants to have fun dancing.

Then the chorus hits, his hands cup his chin, fingers wiggling a little against his cheek as he scrunches up his nose and smile. The cute appeal bleeding through right as he goes back into the serious one. The playful one. hyunjoon’s smirk stays as he does the gun dance, head moving in time with the movie. He follows along as if the dance had been made for him, the music and him fitting together in a way he hadn’t really thought he could do. Hyunjoons been dancing with orion for a few months now and he knows he’s improved. But this feels like so much more than just goofing off with dancing. He can feel himself getting into it. Just like during the audition, and during the idol dance class at NOVA. it’s so much fun that he can barely hold back his smile. Can feel himself wanting to slip out of the persona he was painting on stage.

Why are you leaving the pretty me here And going?

You’re leaving me here You’re leaving me so easily You promised we’d go together But you’re leaving, leaving

The track he choose was a remix of the original, so after the first chorus it hits the bridge, the slower music lets him use this time to show off a more smooth look to his dance. His expression softening as he moves do. He knows his time is almost up. The song will end right before the chorus plays again. He builds up, the bridge speeding up a little before fading out and instead of ending with the gun move again, hyunjoon draws back his arms as if he were drawing back a bow and arrow. When the music ends he releases the arrow, winking once more to make his point from when he introduced himself.

왜 예쁜 날 두고 가시나

Once back in his seat, hyunjoon finally lets the adrenaline take over for a moment. A happy grin pulling across his face for a moment, hand raising to cover his mouth. He’s sure his hyungs who were here would be so surprised to see how he did. Hyunjoon, even during busking, never really shows this side of him. He figured it would work in his favor here. Everyone loves an adorable kid who works hard, and if he could come off like that then maybe it would work in his favor. A laugh bubbles in his throat but he holds it back. Schooling his expression just enough to look calm, though the small smile on his lips stayed. He was so energetic from this, and he couldn’t keep it to himself.

He makes sure to pay attention to the rest of the performances, wanting to get a feel of what he might be up against should he make it past this round. He isn’t the most competitive, but hyunjoon would like to be able to make it at least a few rounds in. so he can have the validation of being here in the first place. If he fails here, then it kind of just proves his parents point--and proves to himself that he isn’t a dancer--but if he makes it a few rounds in. well, then this was worth it. The experience alone would be amazing for him.

His expression stays rather even during most performances, a small smile on his lips and eyes watching the performances closely. He claps after everyone, politely and supportively. After all, he went first so he has 53 performances to sit and watch. It’s a lot like when he’s forced to sit in on student council meetings for clubs and he has to be respectful of all the club ideas thrown their way. He makes sure to never have a sour look, keeping to the image of a curious teen who’s happy to be here. There are a few moments when he shows more enthusiasm. There’s when momo goes, he leans in more a bit more focused on one of his friends. And then haknyeon follows her and he actually cheers this time--responding to what his hyung does with owahs. Yoongi and Juyeon come a bit later back to back and again his attention is spiked. Cheering for his hyungs.

The big one is when jeno comes up a handful of people later. He isn’t sure if the fact they’re brothers has been made known. But he’s sure it will should they both stay on the show. And hyunjoon never hides the fact that jeno is someone he looks up to a whole lot. His expression filled with awe and pride as jeno performs.

Sana goes, followed by chungha, another two girls he’s friends with. Though, chungha is almost more like a parent with how she is with him. He claps a bit more for both girls, extremely proud to be on the show with such talented people. Then a real shock comes when sungwoon goes up. Hyunjoon remembers briefly meeting the older male--a friend of woojin--and being so confused as to why the older male seemed familiar, yet not at the same time. And his questions are answered when the older sings. The voice hitting hyunjoon hard and his expression is wide with surprise and shock, nearly slipping from his seat. That voice has been one that comforts him in dingy buildings late at night, a band he loves so much. Fucking squall is right here, on a show with me. Woojins friend my ass. Is all he can think, a grin pulling across his lips as he claps for sungwoon. Fully planning to corner him later.

#4050 goes and hyunjoon feels like he should also know who this guy is. His mind almost short circuited at how attractive he is too, and the teen is just glad he doesn’t start blushing. Then finally changmin goes and he bounces back.. Cheering for his friend who wrapped up the show, expression brightened having gotten to see his friends really show themselves off just now. But its also obvious that he’s a little worn from this. He keeps himself from slouching, but his smile is starting to fade.

He’s proud thought, of himself. Of going up there and stepping out of his comfort zone for once. Maybe this will be good and the judges will see that he has many faces he can show. That he can bring a different energy to the stage.  

[tmntxreader]

Talk To Me

Pairing: Donatello x Reader prompt request: “Stop saying you’re fine when you're obviously not" from Donnie? 2007 or 2014?  trigger warning: mentions depression

you walked slower on your way to the liar, mind filling with excuses of why you haven’t been there in a while - nothing new came to mind, you rubbed your eyes and sighed, maybe you should just turn back? Go home, make a batch of cake mix and eat it from the bowl. Lately your depression had been getting worse, each day becoming a battle with yourself: usually, you’d go to Donnie. Your boyfriend who treated you like a priceless jewel - this time ‘round? You couldn’t, he had been going through so much. If he wasn’t fighting for the greater good, holding off alien invasions - he was fighting his brothers. You had to be there for him, which was a rich saying considering you haven’t even been at the liar and only spoken to him for a few hours a fort night in months.

You came near a take away shop, maybe you should treat them - its the least you could do after pretending they don’t exist. You went in and ordered two large pizzas, one pepperoni and another plain Margarita - as you waited, you texted April telling her what you were doing. She had actually been the one to force you out the house “Just tell them the truth, they’ll understand: so will Donnie. You’ve got to give them more credit.” she had said, you did give them credit - it was just you, you couldn’t place why you couldn’t tell them the truth: ashamed that you let depression take over? Embarrassed? Maybe it was if you pretended it wasn’t there, it would magically go away. Who knew, not you - that’s for certain. 

You payed for the Pizzas and gave them a large tip, smiling politely and thanking them as you left - it was better to get this over and done with, for everyone's sake.  You went down the manhole cover, your heart beating in your chest - you had to calm down, April’s words were going through your head like a desperate prayer, one that was just trying to get you to understand that not everyone was oblivious to mental illness.

As you approached the underground amusement park, you heard loud arguing - great, just what you needed - it sounded angrier than usual, you let a shaky sigh pass your lips before you finally walked in fully to see the scene, Leo and Raph - Mikey just watching hopelessly, he was the one to spot you first, a smile spreading across his lips as he made your way over to you.

“Dudette! We’ve missed you” He grinned, engulfing you into a bone crushing hug. you dropped the Pizzas to return it, you needed this. 

“I’ve missed you guys too” Your tone was soft, your heart still threatening to go into cardiac arrest. 

“oooo You brought pizza!” Mikey released you from the hug and grabbed the bag, holding it up to the two eldest turtles. Raph scoft and oh, you wanted to curl back into yourself. 

“you vanish for months, come back with pizza ‘nd expect to be greeted with open arms?” you crossed one arm over your chest and rubbed your other forearm, looking smaller and weaker than ever, you wanted to leave again. 

“I was----”

“Studyin’, Workin’, Feeling ill? Stop with the excuses (y/n)” he snapped

“Raph, stop it” Leo snapped, Mikey was giving you an apologetic look. “Donnie is in his lab, you should go speak to him” his voice was getting softer as he spoke to you, “he misses you”

“is.... is he mad at me?”

“he ain’t spoke much about you---” you wanted to cry, Leo literally gave his brother the look of pure hatred and quickly added too it.

“at least to us, you know how he is - every feeling he gets just goes into his work.” you didn’t say anything to them after that, instead looking down and made your way over to the lab. You sighed and rubbed your eyes, trying to hold back the feeling of tears. When you walked in, he wasn’t working - just staring at his shellphone - unmoving, it was clear he was in deep thought. Just looking at him made you want to run out the door. 

“D-Donnie?” you stuttered, voice remaining weak - you kicked yourself for that, you tried to offer him a weak smile when his head snapped up, a look of pure shock written on his face at your presence. But then it faded, being replaced with something unreadable, it scared you.  

“Where have you been?” there was no hug, no grin, no cute little nickname that he used to greet you with. No Donnie, just... someone who wanted answers, ones you were scared to provide because of your own pride. 

“Just been busy, I know its not an excuse” You tried to act like it was school, or work that was holding you down - you had to be strong, but you have tried for so long that it was collapsing on itself.  

“No, no its something more than that” He was still the smart one, he noticed the patterns in your behavior, how you acted - it was more than something physical, he knew this, he also knew you. You would never intentionally hurt him or his brothers, yes he was hurt - of cause he was, but he knew there was something more to this. “What’s wrong, Princess? Tell me, please” his voice was softer, your eyes watering, he wasn’t mad - you could see that, he just wanted to be let in.

“I’m fine, Donnie” your voice cracked 

“Stop saying you’re fine when you're obviously not"

That was it, you broke down - tears finally flowing after trying to hold them in for so long, the stronghold you built for yourself came crashing down with one sentence, your body weak - Donnie got up quickly, wrapping his arms around you, it was an instant reaction - one that you needed, the tears turned into full blown sobs, ones the three brothers could hear from outside, shocking them. 

“I’m just, so depressed - donnie” you were saying it through panicked sobs, and in some strange way, it felt good, to finally let it out to him - it was the first time you’ve cried like this in a while, it was like the weight on your shoulders were getting lighter - being weighed down by unshed tears and held back emotions. 

“I’m sorry ignored you and your brothers, i am - i just, you have so much going on - the shredder, fighting crime, hell when you aren’t fighting them you’re arguing with your brothers, having to over work yourself. I didn’t want you to worry about me, you have enough going on and im sorry, I love you i just thought distancing myself was the right thing to do.” after your passionate rant, your sobbing turned into hiccups. Clinging to the man in front of you for dear life. 

Meanwhile, Donnies heart was breaking for you. He could tell you’ve been hiding this for so long, he kissed the top of your head as you spoke - he hated himself for not noticing sooner, he loved you - so much. He never wanted you to feel like your feelings, or situations were any less than his. You were so selfless, a little stupid for not confining in him, but it came from such a pure place. 

“Sweetheart, listen to me” He cupped your face, wiping away the tears on your cheeks and the ones still spilling from your eyes. “Don’t ever hide your emotions from me, isolation will only make this worse” he kissed your forehead, “Baby I love you, so much - i was hurt, sure - but you shouldn’t just ignore me when i could be here helping you through everything. We’re a couple, i talk to you - you talk to me” 

you brought your hands up to your eyes, rubbing them trying to stop the crying - wiping your cheeks from fresh new tears that were threatening to spill once more at his speech- “I’m sorry”

“Promise me, please that you’ll start talking to me?”

"I promise” was the automatic response, he smiled softly and placed a soft kiss on your lips. “can.... can i sleep hear tonight, i don’t want to be alone”

“of cause you can sweetheart, you don’t ever need to ask.” you stood there, his arms wrapped around you securely - your world already seemed a little lighter, and with it came a whole new chapter of your relationship with Donnie - The frantic sobbing, the loneliness was replaced with a brand new feeling: hope. 

[buckykingofmemes]

Closet Softie

Or, How Bucky Barnes Nearly Ruined His Tough-Guy Rep

(On AO3)

The trail mix was gone. 

The nice, expensive trail mix, with twelve kinds of nuts and the big sunflower seeds and dried fruits, the kind Tony only rarely left sitting on the common floors for everyone to get at, was gone. 

Clint had been looking forward to that stuff all morning. 

All the way through a hellish morning “jog” with Steve, all through Nat handing him his ass on the training mats, all through firing the same batch of misweighted arrows over and over so Tony could take scans and fix the design, he’d been thinking, when this is done I get to go upstairs and hang out on the couch and watch Dog Cops and eat the good trail mix, guilt-free. 

And it was gone.

Clint was gonna shoot somebody.

Just as soon as he figured out who’d taken the trail mix.

kingofmemes posted:

yesterday i saw a sad duck in the park who kept getting picked on by the other ducks so today i brought some trail mix and we had a nice lunch together. also i think he might be the duck who pooped on sam last week. if so, he is officially my new best friend. 

Posted at 3:29 PM, 24379 notes

(Read More Below)

Was...was that Barnes? No way was that Barnes. There was zero chance that the huge guy teaching a swarm of kids how to throw a baseball in the park was the Winter Soldier. That was ridiculous. Barnes was probably back in the Tower, brooding or something. Definitely not throwing crazy curveballs while a six year old with a broken arm rode piggyback. There were a dozen or so kids of varying ages clustered around, trying to mimic his throw. And while the big guy did have hair about the same length as Barnes’s, Barnes’s hair definitely wasn’t done up in sloppy child-made braids and topped with a dandelion flower crown. And Barnes would rather loose his right arm than deal with a bunch of kids, right? Even if these grubby little monsters were being remarkably well-behaved. 

Had to be somebody else. Clint kept walking. 

kingofmemes posted:

today i learned that i can throw a baseball hard enough that it will explode on impact. and also that if you do that, you better be prepared to teach a bunch of kids how to do it, because they wont ever leave you alone otherwise

Posted at 4:47 PM, 26658 notes

Clint actually tripped over the package left in front of his door. Avenger he might be, but it had been a long day at the end of a longer week, and he was tired. And usually there wasn’t anything left in the hallway to trip over, what the hell. 

Clint grabbed the box and dragged himself into his apartment. Hopefully it wasn’t a bomb. If it was, he was totally gonna get blown up, because he was too tired to check before he opened it.

It wasn’t. It was a bizarre knit shirt-thing, big enough to fit him and with a hood and hoodie pocket, but without sleeves.The whole thing was made of a soft dark purple yarn, and it seemed unbelievably warm. It was...kinda perfect. He’d just been complaining on the last op about how hard it was to find warm clothes he could wear that didn’t restrict his arms so he couldn’t shoot. 

He pulled it on. It was even warmer than it looked, and softer than Thor’s godly hair. Clint loved it.

But who the hell had given it to him?

kingofmemes posted:

i dont care what anyone says, knitting is a combat-applicable skill, and if you disagree i will fight you. with my knitting needles.

Posted at 3:42 AM, 47292 notes

There were cupcakes on the counter. Beautiful, glorious, still-warm cupcakes on the kitchen counter, and Clint was gonna eat all of them before anyone stopped him.

Well. Maybe he would share with Nat. Otherwise she might make him regret it. Nat was kinda the worst. 

Wait, were these cupcakes for him?? They were lavender. With purple frosting. And the other half were little dark chocolate and red velvet sandwiches. Maybe it was a coincidence? Clint mused it over as he shoved a third lavender cupcake in his mouth. The red-and-black ones had some kind of dark red filling leaking out between the layers. It looked like blood. Nat reached past him and snagged two of them. He’d jump, but he’d gotten used to her sneaking up on him all the time. She was the worst. Clint refrained from commenting by stuffing a fourth cupcake in his face. They were really good. 

Nat made a little muffled moan noise. Clint reached for one of the red cupcakes, and she slapped his hand down. “Those are mine,” she grunted around her mouthful of cake, because she was only ladylike when it suited her. 

“Says who?” Clint asked, even as he took another purple cupcake. 

Nat pointed to the paper plate. Where Clint’s cupcakes had previously sat, there was blocky sharpie lettering: Have fun on your mission & dont die. Below was a little drawing of an arrow and a spider. There was no signature. 

Huh.

Nat swallowed. “We need to leave now if we don’t want to be late for the pre-op briefing.”

Aw, no, cupcakes. There were still so many left, Clint didn’t want to leave them. They wouldn’t last a day in the Tower. 

“Take the cupcakes with.” Nat ordered, sweeping out of the room. 

Nat was the best. 

kingofmemes posted:

cupcakes are great. you could have one really big cake or 40 tiny cakes, thats so fantastic. im gonna die if i keep making this many cupcakes somebody help me eat all these

Posted at 5:43 PM, 23749 notes

Barnes had a death wish. It was the only logical conclusion. There was literally no other reason for him to suddenly yell “Motherfucker!” during a debriefing, while Nick Fury was talking. 

That was the kinda thing that got you keelhauled. Clint would know, he was a human disaster. Barnes was apparently worse, though he seemed to have balls to match, because he sat still and maintained eye contact as Fury glared him down. Weaker men and some brick walls had crumbled under that glare.

Barnes waited him out, and endured the following dressing-down with respectful yes-sirs no-sirs and sorry-sirs. And then promptly dashed out of the room as soon as the debriefing was over.

Weird. 

kingofmemes posted:

ever get clawed in the stomach by the secret kitten you rescued and stashed in your hoodie pocket? because let me tell you. it 1. hurts and 2. hurts emotionally, because i love her and she hates me

 Posted at 4:47 AM, 37294 notes

Clint staggered into the common room. A bad op gone worse had not at all been helped by a stint in medical, which he hated, and he’d gotten home to discover that Lucky had knocked a houseplant over and somehow gotten dirt through the whole apartment and needed a bath. And Lucky did not like baths. Plus he was still dealing with a nasty cold. So now Clint was tired, injured, sick, wet, and somehow still covered in dirt. 

Aw, life, no.

Barnes was on the couch, watching with raised brows as Clint stood and contemplated the disaster that this week had been. Possibly also he might be judging Clint for being such a human train wreck.

Clint sneezed pathetically. 

Barnes stood up. Clint watched him, too exhausted to be concerned. 

“You look like you could use a hug.” Barnes informed him.

 It took Clint a moment to separate out what he’d expected Barnes to say and what he’d actually said. And then he said, “What?” Because, no way. 

“A hug. Want one?” Barnes repeated, like Clint was slow. Which, to be fair, his brain was basically operating at the pace of a drunk slug.

“I...thought you were a no-hugging friend.” 

“Mostly yes, but I’m in a good headspace today and you look like you could use either a hug or a mercy killing. And I don’t wanna get blood on this knife, I just cleaned it.”

Huh. That was...huh. Should he be touched or terrified? Clint didn’t think he had the emotional energy for both. 

“So. Hug. Want one?”

“...yeah, please.”

Barnes was a weird hugger. He came in slow and careful like he was expecting something to detonate, but once he was there, it was like being wrapped up by the world’s nicest bear. Strong and steady and taller than Clint, damn him, but nice.

“Thanks.” Clint mumbled at his toes.

“Yeah, yeah. Sit on the couch, I’m gonna make you some soup before you pass out.”

Barnes was such a softie, Clint thought, splayed on the sofa, and slipped into sleep.

kingofmemes posted:

it turns out that the best way to cure grumpiness is with hot food and niceness. or maybe it was the murder threat that helped.

whichever. ill keep doing both just to be sure. 

Posted at 4:47 AM, 5392 notes

Mod Hell note: Please note that Bucky did not feed bread to the duck. That is because bread is BAD FOR BIRDS and you should never give it to them, as it can cause serious health problems. Nuts and veggies are good. Google it.