#im exhausted but it makes sense this time because i did a lot of things

[star-ocean-peahen]

sleepyl

[aroaceleovaldez]

yall dont wanna see the rant i just went on trying to math out if Clarisse and Silena = Achilles and Patroclus, then does the Battle for Manhattan in TLO = the Trojan War, and in which case who’s who. is the Titan Army the Trojans? or is Olympus the Trojans because they’re defending Olympus (i.e. Trojans defending Troy)? If Percy is also Achilles, kinda, cause curse of Achilles, what’s everybody’s roles then? What do we do with two Achilles? is Ethan Nakamura Hector? Does Luke = Paris? (in which case Hermes = Priam? which actually works really well cause Hermes did aid Priam in the Trojan war). or is Luke... Helen? Or is Luke just straight up the Trojan Horse?

Also side-tangent, if Clarisse and Silena are Achilles and Patroclus, we can make some guesses for who Chris Rodriguez vaguely is analogous to, but not really Charles Beckendorf? at least purely in terms of love interests. Which is interesting. Again: who’s who. I simply must know.

[firstofficerkittycat]

ok im not responding to that person anymore but the white reveal holy shit what. you should in fact stop making walls of text whiteknighting for black ppl who have varied opinions on that episode and talking like ur an authority on this. i dont even know what to say lmao i will continue to shut up about it because genuinely what is any of this its ridiculous we should not be the centering our opinions in a conversation about racism. that apology was for who i thought was a black person having no patience for me posting my thoughts on a thingt i do not experience not for a white person absolutely dominating the conversation across the dw tag over a topic that you should not be centering yourself in????

[stevie-petey]

episode five: dig dug

“You like Y/N?” Dustin asks at the same time as you ask, “You like me?” Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah, barely. She’s on thin ice. But you, little Henderson? You just stole the flowers meant for my girlfriend, so backseat you go.” “Yes!” You cheer, pumping your fist in the air as you flash Steve a smile. “Thanks, Harrington.” He rounds the front of his car and opens the driver's side door. “Yeah, don’t get used to it. Like I said, you’re still on thin ice.”

Summary: you and dustin bury a body and con your mother into fleeing town, great sibling bonding time ! you play hockey with a monster, dustin gets ghosted by his friends, and now it's your turn to kidnap steve (technically dustin does, but you don't stop him) who later gives you some terrifying realizations.

Rating: general, swearing and slight violence

Warnings: blood, use of y/n, fem!reader, animal cruelty technically, weapons, cursing

Words: 7.5k

Before you swing in: hello ! late chapter update, but here ya go lovelies !! lots has happened recently, i got a sick ass job and im super excited and :))) so updates will definitely slow down again some more, but i promise i will update whenever possible. for now, please enjoy !

–

“Remember how angry I was at you about hiding El from me last year?”

“Yeah?”

“Visualize the anger, multiply it by ten, and then take three steps back from me.”

Dustin trips over his feet to scramble away from you.

You’re currently in your own room, the door locked, with Dustin standing several feet away now as he heeds your warning. Never in your life have you felt such rage before, such blinding fury, and you thought you knew what anger was when your dad left.

But this? This is a new type of anger, one you know that only the older sister to Dustin Henderson could ever feel.

As soon as Dart had lifted its head up at you and screeched, you’d immediately snatched your brother’s hand into yours and ran out the door, door slamming behind you. Now, you’re hiding out in your room with no fucking clue what to do.

“You killed our cat.”

“Technically Dart did.” You glare at Dustin. You had actually liked Mews, she was the sweetest cat in the world and a gift for your fifth birthday. Your brother, sensing he’s only digging a deeper hole for himself, coughs. “I mean… Yeah. I killed our cat.”

Stepping back, you find your desk chair against your legs and fall into the seat. Exhaustion sweeps over you. There’s no time to grieve the loss of your cat. Not when there’s a baby demogorgon in Dustin’s room eating said cat’s corpse still. “What do we even do in this situation?”

“Not tell mom?” Again, you glare at Dustin and he squeaks in fear. “Well I mean, that’s all I can think of right now!”

A headache forms. “I should’ve gone with Jonathan and Nancy.”

Dustin thinks for a moment. “Where did they go, anyways?”

“No. You don’t get to ask any questions right now.”

“Yes ma’am.”

You sigh, a vague idea forming in your mind. “Okay, first we need get Mews out of the room. She was mom’s favorite child, we can’t just leave her in there to be diminished to bones.”

Dustin nods. “Obviously. We can do that… right?”

“We have to. Once she’s out of there, we just… leave Dart in there. At least for now. It’s already late in the afternoon and we need so much help from the party.”

“We can’t tell the party–”

“You’re right. We can’t,” Dustin sighs with relief, but you give him an evil smile. “But you can tell the party. You’ll radio everyone tomorrow, clean the house, and make a plan from there.”

Dustin tries to argue, but you hold a hand up. “You brought a baby demogorgon into our house. You lost every arguing privilege there is to lose.”

He groans, knowing you’re right. Next time, he’ll be better at hiding things from you because you’re a total buzzkill whenever you inevitably find out.

Together, the two of you hatch a plan. You’ll walk into Dustin’s room first, knives out and ready just in case, and Dustin will follow once the coast is clear. Then, he’ll lure Dart away from Mews’ body with chocolate (you don’t want to ask why), and once he’s gone you’ll snatch your cat’s body and flee the room immediately afterwards.

It’s a good plan.

That is, if it works.

“Ready?” You’re standing in front of Dustin’s door, your knives flicked open in your hand, ready for possible war with a foot long little demon.

Your brother pats your shoulder. “Don’t die, sis.”

“I’m holding knives as we speak. Touch me again and die.”

“I hope Dart eats your face.”

You smile. “There’s my brother. Okay, as soon as I’m inside the room, close the door. Then, when I knock three times, open it again and enter.”

“Wait for two knocks–”

“Three.”

“Three knocks. Right.”

You steady your breathing. Around the corner, you can hear your mom humming to herself as she makes dinner. She has no clue what’s going on, and you envy her for it. Your hand on Dustin’s door knob twists slowly, then, before you can psych yourself out, you turn the knob and throw yourself inside.

Quickly the door slams behind you, so at least Dustin did something right.

Your eyes, which had previously been squeezed shut, open slowly. When you don’t see any sign of Dart, you exhale. So far, so good. You walk towards the couch and find the creature still eating away at your dead cat, which you gag at.

Poor Mews.

You rap your knuckles against the door three times, alerting Dustin to come inside.

He opens the door and walks in, his hands fisted against his face as if that would do anything to keep him safe. You roll your eyes and flick his head, which he whines at. “Grab the chocolate and distract Dart, please.”

Dustin runs over to his desk and grabs a Musketeers bar. When you see the candy’s name, you want to slam your head against the wall. You know exactly why the monster’s name is Dart.

“Let me guess,” you say, your tone mocking. “D’Artagnan?”

“Don’t you have a corpse to collect?”

You scoff at him but step aside so that he can dangle the chocolate in Dart’s face. You watch, alert for any signs of danger in case you need to step in, but the monster seems to be pretty friendly with Dustin. You guess they really did create a bond.

Once Dart is far enough away from Mews, you run over and snatch up her body. You try not to think about the possible cat guts now all over your sweater. That will be a later issue. Like a lot of things in your life recently.

“Go, go, go!” You push Dustin towards the door.

He doesn’t need to be told twice, throwing the last piece of the candy bar at Dart’s face and running out the door right behind you. Once you’re both out the room with the door closed, you both lean against the wall and exhale deeply.

“Good job. Now onto phase two.”

Dustin makes a face. “Why do I have to distract mom?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you hold up Mews’ bloody body. “Do you want to be the one to hold our dead cat?”

“Good point, I’ll go distract mom.” Dustin leaves, rounding the corner to go hopefully distract your poor mother in a sane way. With your luck, Dustin will spew some weird bullshit that will only make her more worried than she already is.

Right on cue, you hear Dustin say from the kitchen. “Mom, I think I broke my arm.”

The scream of fear your mom lets out would’ve been comedic had you not been holding her beloved dead cat.

Your mother runs around the kitchen, fretting over your brother, and the second she isn’t looking, you slip out the front door and quickly throw Mews’ body into your bush. You feel a bit bad about that, but there’s nowhere else to hide her body in broad daylight.

When you walk back inside, Dustin is being swaddled by your mother. “What did I miss?”

“Oh, Y/N!” Your mom sighs. “Dusty said he thought he broke his arm, but the silly boy seems to be okay.”

Dustin pats her back. “Ha, right. Silly me!”

Your mom looks up and then squints a bit, eying your sweater. You look down and your heart drops. It’s covered in Mews’ blood.

Fuck.

“Y/N, what’s that all over your sweater?”

“Paint!” You say while Dustin sputters, “Ketchup!”

“We… Were painting with ketchup.” You lie, sending a quick glare your brother’s way. Out of everything red, why ketchup?

“Oh, alright.” Your mom looks uncertain, but doesn’t say anything else about it. “Well, dinner is almost ready. Why don’t you go wash up, honey?”

The second you’re dismissed, you run into your room and yank the sweater off. You’ll burn it tomorrow. First chance you get.

A few seconds later, there’s a knock on your door before Dustin’s head pokes inside. “Dinner’s done.”

“Great. Holding your dead cat definitely works up an appetite.”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” Dustin tries to play it off, but you see the genuine upset in his eyes. He hadn’t meant to hurt anyone, and you know he loved Mews too.

You sigh and walk over to him and kiss his curls. “It’s okay. Next time, let’s not hide a monster from the Upside Down, yeah?”

“Deal.”

–

Dustin spends the night in your room, which you explain to your mom as needing some “serious bonding time”. She tears up at this, unaware of the fact that you’ll be making your brother sleep on the floor as punishment.

The next morning you and Dustin hatch yet another plan: get mom out of the house. Before you two can do anything else, you both agree that your mom cannot be anywhere near Dart. Plus, she’s already noticed Mews’ absence, so it’s only a matter of time before she finds the body in the bush.

“Alright, you’ll fake the phone call while I start gathering the supplies.” You tell Dustin while your mom calls for Mews outside. She’s at the bottom of the driveway, Mews’ favorite toy in her hand, shaking it around, unaware that the cat’s dead body is in the bush next to her.

“Got it. You remember where my old hockey suit is?” You nod at Dustin’s question, and he’s about to say something else before he sees your mom start walking back towards the house. “Shit! Game time, go!”

Dustin fumbles for the phone and you run to the living room closet. Just as you’ve entered your positions, your mom walks through the front door.

“Mewsy! Dusty, Y/N, sweethearts, you’re sure she’s not in your rooms?”

“No, mom.” You shake your head at her.

Holding up a finger, Dustin presses the phone to his ear and motions for the woman to remain quiet. “Uh-huh. Thank you so much, Mr. McCorkle. Thank you so much, you are a true lifesaver.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes. He’s laying it on pretty thick.

“Alright, this was great. Thank you, have a good one. Bye-bye now, all right. You too.” Dustin pretends to hang up the phone and smiles at your mom. “Alright, great news!”

“They found her?” Tears of joy lace your mother’s voice. You have to turn away, you know she’d notice the discomfort on your face. It feels horrible to be lying to your mother like this.

Dustin seems to be thinking the same thing, because he lowers his voice and gently approaches her. “No, but they saw her wandering around Loch Nora.”

More tears flow down your mom’s face. “How did the poor baby get all the way over there?”

“I don’t know, lost I guess. But they’re gonna look for her, and–and Y/N and I will stay here, just in case they call again. Right, Y/N?”

“Right!” You call from the closet, now quickly grabbing everything you can think of. Would a hammer be necessary?

“And you’re gonna go help look. Yeah?” Dustin’s only response is a relieved hug from your crying mother. “Yeah, give me a hug. Go get her!”

Your mom quickly composes herself and grabs her glasses. She presses a kiss to your forehead and seems to be in better spirits. “We’ll find her!”

“Mews will be home soon, mom!” You cheer, and your mom blows you another kiss.

“I love you,” Dustin sends her a thumbs up.

“I love you, kids.” And with that, your mom clutches her purse to her chest and sends one final kiss your way before shutting the door behind her.

As soon as the door shuts, you and Dustin scramble. Dustin heads to the backyard to open your cellar doors and you grab the remaining hockey gear from the closet. While you drag the uniform out to the living room, your brother begins to look through the fridge for any possible bait.

“Think Dart would like bologna?” Dustin calls over his shoulder as he digs around.

You groan, dropping the heavy goalie pads. “Last I checked, he wasn’t my secret Upside Down pet.”

“Touche.”

Dustin grabs the bologna and starts making a trail from his room towards the front door. While he does that, you start sorting through your own pile of gear, soccer to be specific. Dustin liked hockey, you preferred warmer sports. As you’ve finished lacing up your cleats and shin pads, Dustin returns.

“Okay, the bait is all set up. Got my hockey stick?”

You hand him what he needs. “Here, and your helmet is on the couch.”

Dustin gets ready and you retrieve some oven mitts from the kitchen. When you hand them to the boy, he looks at you like you’re insane. “What? Extra protection. Can’t hurt.”

He sighs and swipes them from your hand, putting them on. Once he’s ready, you help him stand up. He looks ridiculous in his old hockey gear, but you suppose you don’t look any better with your shin pads and Dustin’s spare shoulder pads.

“Alright. We all set?”

Dustin pats his helmet. “Ready.”

You walk towards his room, and once you’re there, Dustin pushes past you and bends down a bit so he can speak through his keyhole. “Alright, Dart. Breakfast time.”

“Do we have to mention breakfast right before we set him free?" You mumble, but your brother ignores you.

Slowly, he reaches towards the door handle and then flings it open. As soon as the door has been moved, Dustin practically knocks you to the ground in his haste to escape. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!”

His mantra reminds you of Steve’s from last year at Jonathan’s. Seems like the two boys have something in common: they’re idiots.

You follow quickly behind Dustin, terrified but at least trying to hide it, while your brother just repeats “oh my god”, and “shit” over and over again as he stumbles over the bait and out towards the front door.

If the situation wasn’t so grave, you’d be giggling at how dumb Dustin looks waddling over bologna on the floor. However, Dart could very well be right behind you, so you run after the kid equally as terrified.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit–”

By this point, you’re nearing the tool shed outside.

“I will push you down these stairs Dustin Henderson.”

Dustin shuts up and, as soon as you’re inside the shed as well, locks it behind him. Once he’s sure you’re all cleared, he lets out a breath of relief. “Okay, now we wait.”

You walk towards the wood panels, squinting as you peek through a gap to see outside. “I don’t see anything.”

Dustin does the same. “Come on, I know you’re hungry…”

Everything remains still outside, and you’re starting to worry that maybe Dart doesn’t like bologna after all, until you see his scaly body walk out the door. He gobbles down the bologna pieces one by one, which you cringe at.

“Yeah. He likes bologna, alright.”

Dustin silently cheers. “Yes! Yes, yes, yes!”

Dart makes his way down the trail, eating every piece he finds, and soon he scampers down the steps and hovers over the cellar doors. In an odd way, the little guy is kinda cute if you forget about the fact that he killed your cat.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Dustin continues to chant as you watch Dart. The creature just has one more piece of bologna left, he just needs to take a few more steps inside before you can slam the doors shut.

But, because nothing can ever be easy for you, Dart suddenly turns and looks straight at you and Dustin. “Shit!”

You flinch back, knocking into a bucket of nails that spill everywhere. “Shit again!”

Dustin tries to shush you but you grab him by his shoulders and force him behind you. Your knives are out, their blades gleaming in the sunlight that creeps through the wood panels. You peek through them to find Dart slowly approaching the shed, his mouth almost watering.

“Well, this isn’t good.” You take a breath to lessen your fear. “Stay here, I’ll try to distract him–”

“AHHH!” Dustin shoves you against the opposite wall, your body flinging back with a harsh crash, and breaks through the shed’s door. With one solid wack from his hockey stick, he flings Dart into the cellar.

“What the–Dustin!” By the time you make it out the shed, your brother has flung himself on top of the cellar doors, panting.

“Got him,” he informs you, as if it isn’t obvious enough. Dart begins to screech with anger, and Dustin sighs. “I’m sorry, you ate my cat.”

“You’re an idiot, Dustin.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just give me five seconds to catch my breath, please.”

–

With Dart safely locked away, you and Dustin are able to finally bury your cat.

It doesn’t take long, but the early November heat is just warm enough to make you annoyed as you dig through the soil in your backyard. Dustin has his walkie with him, trying to find the right frequency so he can call the party and inform them of what’s going on.

“Guys, this is Dustin again. Does anyone copy?” You stab at the ground with your shovel and your brother groans when he gets no response. “This is a code red. I repeat, a code red!”

Sweat trickles down your brow and honestly it should be Dustin burying the cat, but you’ve never learned how to radio the party so you just sigh and throw more dirt upon your dead cat. Dustin tries a few more times to contact the party, but no one responds.

“Damn it!” He shouts, frustrated.

“Language,” you huff out, more sweat forming.

It goes on like this for a while, Dustin trying and failing to reach anyone, as you two begin to clean the house of any blood and Mews guts. He tries again while you guys grab the cleaning supplies, then again while you’re on your hands and knees scrubbing his carpet in his room.

“Alright, it’s Dustin again. Seriously, I have a code red.”

“Maybe they don’t know what code red means?” You offer, your nose scrunched up due to the bleach fumes.

Dustin scoffs, “sure, and they also don’t know who Luke Skywalker’s father is–”

Suddenly Erica’s voice comes through the walkie. “Can you please shut up?”

“Erica?” Dustin stops scrubbing and straightens up. “Erica, is Lucas there? Where is he?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care.” Erica has always been such a lovely girl.

“Is he with Mike?”

“Like I said, I don’t know and I don’t care.”

You and Dustin share a look. It worries you that Mike hasn’t been responding all day. From what you’ve heard and seen, he’s spent every day this year camped out in his fort in the basement trying to contact El with the radio frequencies.

It’s not like to Mike to just disappear.

“Listen, Erica.” You speak up, trying to sweet talk to the girl. You’ve babysat her a few times and you’ve even managed to convince her you’re kinda cool, so maybe she’ll respond better to you. “Did Lucas mention anything else? Maybe… Maybe like a girl he went to see?”

Dustin frowns. “A girl? What–” You shush him and wait for a response.

Erica snorts. “A girl? Please, as if. He’s been gone all day. That’s all I can tell you.”

Your brother closes his eyes and sighs. “Please tell him it’s super important. Please tell him that I have a code–”

“Code red?” Erica interrupts.

“Yep, code red. Exactly.” Dustin smiles, then covers his mike to whisper to you, “seems like she likes me more than you–”

“I got a code for you instead. It’s called code shut-your-mouth.” Then, Erica switches off the walkie.

Dustin stares at nothing, dumbfounded. You go back to scrubbing the carpet, a pleased smile on your face. “So, you were saying?”

He’s quiet for a few seconds, processing the fact that clearly no one in the party will answer, before letting out an obnoxious groan. “Damn it!”

“Are you gonna help me clean, or–?”

“Can’t you just call Jonathan?” Dustin asks, grasping at straws. “Maybe he can be useful for once and help.”

You shake your head. “No, he’s out of town right now with Nancy.”

“And you’re okay with this because…?”

“Because,” you roll your eyes, “they’re on a secret mission to take down Hawkin’s Lab. They’re at some detective’s house right now, so I have zero way of contacting them.”

Dustin rubs at his eyes tiredly. “How did we get stuck with a cat eating baby demogorgon while Jonathan and Nancy get cool spy work?”

You pinch his leg, causing him to wince and move away from you. “Because you purposefully hid the baby demogorgon. Any other stupid questions?”

���Sure,” Dustin throws his hands up in defeat, obviously joking when he asks, “got any other friend we could call for help?”

A sarcastic laugh escapes your lips and you’re about to tell him that he has more friends than you’ve ever had, but then a thought occurs to you.

Steve.

Technically speaking, you’re friends. Well, sort of. Sure, he had wanted space yesterday in the lunchroom, and yeah he’s still mad at you and things are awkward at best between the two of you, but still…

He’d been at Jonathan’s house last year, he had fought by your side and saved your life and even bought you a vending machine full of snacks. If anyone else could understand the situation you’re in right now, it’s Steve.

You hesitate though. He still seemed really hurt at lunch, but you also saw the way he lingered even after dismissing himself. He doesn’t hate you, at least not really, and without Jonathan or Nancy to call, he’s the only person you have left right now.

It can’t hurt to try, at least.

“Actually, yeah.” You respond after a minute or so. “Be right back.”

Dustin asks questions as you head towards the living room, but you don’t respond. If Steve doesn’t answer, then you can make up some lie about the phone being broken or something to save yourself the embarrassment.

Your fingers press Steve’s long remembered number. He had given it to you his first week of visiting you at Bookstrordinary, assuring you that you could call him whenever. After a while, you took his word on it and started calling the boy every time you were bored and alone at work.

The line rings for a few seconds, and you bite your lip in anticipation.

This is a horrible idea, and yet your heart flutters when Steve answers with a groggy, “hello?”

“Hey, Steve.”

“Y/N?” He sounds surprised.

You can’t blame him, he did quite literally yesterday tell you he’s still upset with you and that he needs space. And yet here you are: calling him early on a Saturday afternoon. “Yeah, it’s me. Listen, I really need your help–”

A sigh. “Normally I’d love to, but I’m kinda in the middle of getting ready to go to Nancy’s.”

“Nancy’s? Steve, she’s not even home–”

“Can we talk later? I… I’d really like to talk, if that’s alright with you.”

This throws you, and for a second you forget about the reason you called. “Of course we can talk, Steve.”

“Great,” you can hear a smile in his voice, which warms you. “I’ll see you later, then.”

Then you remember Dart and the blood on Dustin’s carpet and you frantically try to stop Steve from hanging up. “Wait, no! Steve, Nancy isn’t home and I really need you to–”

The line goes dead, and you slam the phone down. “Damn it!”

Dustin, hearing the commotion, wanders into the kitchen. “Take it the call didn’t go well?”

“No, it did.” Sure, Steve didn’t necessarily offer his help, but he did tell you where he’s going to be in about twenty minutes. You’ll ambush him there and demand he listen to you and help. As a bonding exercise, of course. “We’re going to the Wheeler’s.”

“Why?”

“Steve’s heading there.”

Dustin trips over his shoelaces. “Steve Harrington?”

“Long story,” you sigh, dreading that you’ll have to explain all of this eventually. “C’mon, let's get our bikes.”

–

You and Dustin get to the Wheeler’s before Steve does, which makes no sense to you but whatever. He’ll be here soon enough and you’ll ambush him with all your charm and maybe a bit of groveling. You’re not beneath it, if you’re being honest.

Dustin goes up to the front door while you stay behind, keeping an eye out for Steve. Ted opens the front door and while you can’t hear what he says to Dustin, you know he’s unamused by his presence. The father has never been your favorite parent within the group, honestly.

You watch as they exchange a few more words before you see Dustin sigh and angrily march back towards you. Then, right as he’s grabbed his bike, a familiar red BMW pulls up. Just seeing his car makes your heart skip a beat.

The car parks and a frazzled Steve steps out, carrying flowers and mumbling to himself. You aren’t able to hear everything he’s saying, but you can hear the words “what the hell am I sorry for?” and your stomach twists.

So clearly he’s not in a good mood. Still.

The flowers, which you now can see are roses, hang by Steve’s side as he fixes his hair. He hasn’t noticed you yet, and it takes everything within you to pull your eyes away. He looks good today, too good.

There’s a monster currently locked in your cellar.

“Steve!” You rush over to his side.

He does a double take when he sees you. “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“Well–”

“Are those for Mr. or Mrs. Wheeler?” Dustin now joins you two, pointing at the roses in the boy’s hand.

Steve looks between the two of you. “No…? You’re Dustin, right? Y/N’s brother?”

Dustin snatches the roses out of his hand. “Good, and yeah, I am.”

“Hey, what the hell?” Steve looks at you for help, but you know there’s no use trying to reason with your brother. He’s in a mood, similar to Steve, and you just sigh and follow Dustin. “Hey!”

“Nancy isn’t home.” Your brother informs Steve.

“Where is she?” Steve asks, and you hit his shoulder.

“I tried telling you over the phone!”

Dustin claps his hands at you to get your guys’ attention again. “It doesn’t matter where she is or if you tried to warn him, Y/N. We have bigger problems than your love lives.”

He’s at Steve’s car now and opens the passenger side door. “Do you still have that bat?”

Steve whips his head towards you. “Bat? What the hell is he talking about? Y/N, what are you guys doing here–”

“The one with the nails!” Dustin interrupts, exasperated.

Again Steve looks at you. “Why?”

“You’re not gonna like it,” you confess, and this only makes Steve feel worse.

“We’ll explain it on the way.” Dustin goes to sit in the passenger seat but he’s quickly stopped when you grab his hood and yank him out.

“No, absolutely not. I deserve the passenger seat, not you.”

Dustin slaps you away. “I got here first.”

“I was born first–”

“But I was literally about to sit down–”

“Hey!” Steve shouts, effectively shutting you and Dustin up. “It’s my car, and right now I currently only like Y/N, so she gets the passenger seat.”

“You like Y/N?” Dustin asks at the same time as you ask, “You like me?”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah, barely. She’s on thin ice. But you, little Henderson? You just stole the flowers meant for my girlfriend, so backseat you go.”

“Yes!” You cheer, pumping your fist in the air as you flash Steve a smile. “Thanks, Harrington.”

He rounds the front of his car and opens the driver's side door. “Yeah, don’t get used to it. Like I said, you’re still on thin ice.”

He says it with annoyance in his voice, but you can see the smile he’s trying hard not to let slip, and you feel giddy. Steve obviously can’t be too mad at you if he wanted to talk later and is willingly letting himself be kidnapped by your brother.

Dustin, on the other hand, can’t believe any of this is happening. As soon as you’re all in the car he asks, “Since when did you two become friends?”

“I have a life outside of you and the boys, you know,” you tell him, but you avoid Steve’s gaze. It’s not like you intentionally hid this aspect of your life from Dustin, but… It also never came up, either.

“Sure ya do, but… Wait,” Dustin remembers something. “Oh my god, you have Steve Harrington’s number memorized?”

Your face heats up and Steve hides a smirk, but you see it anyway. You ignore his smugness and respond to your brother. “Like I said, I have a life outside of you.”

Dustin gapes at you. “I have so many questions–”

“I have an even better one: where am I taking you guys?” Steve asks, and suddenly you remember everything at stake.

“My house,” you tell him as you buckle up. He nods, although with some confusion, and then starts the engine. “You know how I called you earlier?”

“Yeah…?”

“Dustin, why don’t you tell Steve here what you found.”

Your brother sighs from the backseat. “A few days ago I found this… lizard of sorts.”

“A lizard.” Steve says, unimpressed.

“Oh, just wait,” you quip.

Dustin turns his head to glare at you and you give him a thumbs up. He scoffs at you before carrying on, “Yes, a lizard. I named him Dart and he was super cool, okay? I thought I had discovered a new species and that I would be super famous and better than everyone else.”

Steve glances at you next to him, raising his eyebrows and whistling low. “Wow, does humbleness run in your family, Y/N?”

“I’d say so, yeah.”

“Anyways,” Dustin interrupts, ignoring Steve’s laugh at your response. “Turns out, Dart is from the Upside Down.”

“The Upside Down?” Steve asks, extremely confused. He looks at you again in the mirror and it hits you that no one explained to him the events from last year. You assumed that Nancy would’ve, seeing as how they’ve been together for a while now and Steve had been with you guys at the hospital the night you brought Will back.

However, from his disbelief and confusion it’s clear that she hasn’t. If you had to guess, Steve probably went home that night and blocked out everything that had gone down with no questions asked.

You respect his repressing skills, honestly.

Dustin groans, beginning to grow impatient with Steve. “Yes, the Upside Down. If you have the bat still, how could you not know–”

“Do you remember that… thing we killed at Jonathan’s last year?” You cut your brother off before he can get too mean. You love the kid, you do, but he isn’t the kindest person when others aren't understanding him.

A dark look passes over Steve’s face and his fingers tighten around the steering wheel. It’s night now, and the atmosphere in the car becomes tense. “I remember.”

You clear your throat, “Well, this creature–”

“Demodog.” Dustin corrects from the backseat.

“Demodog?” You turn in your seat to face him. “That’s what we’re calling it now? Seriously?”

He shrugs. “It’s a baby demogorgon, it looks like a dog, so… Demodog.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. “Alright. Okay. Whatever, this demodog is from the Upside Down. It’s this parallel universe, basically. Creepy shit happens there, and last year a monster–”

“The Demogorgon.” Dustin once more interrupts.

“Dustin, if you want to catch Steve up then for the love of god, please shut up.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles, embarrassed.

A smile tugs at Steve’s lips and you take a deep breath to calm yourself before continuing. “Look, I don’t know how much Nancy told you about that night at Jonathan’s, but all that you need to know is that the Demogorgon took Will last year and we had to fight it in order to save him.”

Steve nods slightly as he follows along, “Nancy mentioned something about a monster at the hospital… she told me it’s what killed Barb, but never told me it had a name.”

Another silence falls between you guys in the car. The mention of Barb brings back bad memories for you both. You had liked Barb, she had always been nice to you, you guess. Hawkins is a small town. Everyone knows everyone, and in the end the smallness of the town is what makes the Upside Down so hard. You lose people close to you, one way or another.

And as for Steve… The roses he bought for Nancy lay wilted in his backseat.

Dustin shifts uncomfortably in his seat, and your heart pangs in understanding. He misses El, and you do too. The closer it gets to the anniversary of her disappearance, the more you miss the sweet and caring girl; but you know that the boys, Mike especially, haven’t given up hope for her.

“So…” Steve motions for you guys to continue explaining, and Dustin sits up in his seat to begin again.

“So flash forward to now: I didn’t realize Dart was a demodog until he grew like three damn sizes bigger than when I found him. Y/N and I almost died trying to lock him in our cellar.”

“Wait, you guys have a cellar?”

Dustin rubs his face, “That’s what you focus on, Steve?”

“It’s a valid question–”

“Guys!” You lurch yourself forward and wave your hands around wildly to break up their bickering. “We really don’t have time for this. Can we please just focus on the task at hand? Dart has probably grown even more during the course of this stupid conversation.”

Your brother’s hand pushes your shoulder back so that you’re now once again sitting, and you swat him away with annoyance. “Y/N, I’m trying! Blame Steve, he’s the one asking stupid questions–”

Steve speaks up, “What the hell? They aren’t stupid questions–”

“Well…”

Steve shoots you an offended look, “Y/N, I thought you were on my side.”

Dustin scoffs, hurt. “She’s my sister, you idiot!”

“Again, we seriously don’t have time for this because, once more: Dart is getting really big.” Your voice is louder this time, and thankfully it shuts everyone up. Then, just because you can, you add, “and I’m on Steve’s side right now. He’s the one with the car, plus… Well, I owe him.”

Steve fist pumps the air. “Suck it, little Henderson.”

“Do not call me that,” Dustin threatens him, then turns his attention to you. “First Jonathan, now Steve? Can’t you befriend anyone I like?”

The mention of Jonathan gets Steve attention. “Wait a sec, where is the guy? You never actually told me where he and Nancy went, Y/N.”

You sigh, knowing there’s no use keeping anything else from him. He’s already driving you and Dustin home to help with Dart, and you did promise to tell him where they were later, but life seemingly got in the way. “They’re playing detective right now.”

“Detective?”

“Yeah, the guy Barb’s parents hired… They’re currently at his place, exposing Hawkin’s Lab.”

A tense silence follows. Steve stares straight ahead, eyes on the road, as his expressions morph from hurt, to reluctance, to eventual acceptance. “Nance didn’t think to ask me to join?”

His voice wavers, just a bit, but you hear it. Knowing that Dustin is watching from the back, you decide to forget any possible boundaries for once and grab Steve’s hand. He’s hurting. The car smells of roses and there’s no girl to give them to. “She tried, Steve.”

He swallows. There’s hurt in his eyes and you want to reach out and stroke his cheek and tell him that it isn’t his fault. “I know…”

“Ahem,” Dustin coughs, clearly uncomfortable with whatever is going on. “So… Back to Dart.”

You clear your own throat, but your hand remains wrapped around Steve’s, who nods. “Wait a sec, how big are we talking?”

Without meaning to, you close your eyes and brace for Dustin’s witty remarks, but he surprises you by answering with a demonstration and zero mockery. “First it was like that,” he opens his fingers a few inches before using both hands to show about a foot in length. “Now he’s like this.”

Steve still looks doubtful. “And you’re sure it isn’t some weird lizard?”

A headache begins to form and you pinch the bridge of your nose again. “It’s not a lizard, Steve.”

“Well how do you know?”

“Because his face opened up and he ate our cat.” Dustin says bluntly.

This seems to shut Steve up and he nods his head in defeat. It’s silent in the car for the remainder of the drive, and just before Steve parks in your driveway, he looks over at you and sees your eyes closed in pain, and before he knows it he squeezes your hand and says, “sorry about your cat, by the way.”

Despite the pounding in your head and your utter exhaustion, his words make you laugh. “Just park, Steve.”

He smiles, feeling proud for getting you to laugh, and does as he’s told. Before you know it you’re standing at his trunk, staring at the baseball bat that saved your life last year. Dustin has already gone over to the cellar, waiting for you and Steve to follow.

The bat stares back at you, and you shiver as the memories come back. Though you had tried your best to forget that night, that entire week, honestly, it’s been useless. The nightmares still haunt you. You obsessively research trauma in children now to compensate for your own guilt from last year.

“Why’d you keep the bat?” You ask as Steve grabs it, giving it a practice swing. Your own blades are out again and he eyes their gleam.

“It’s kinda sick, don’t ya think?” He swings it again. “I look badass with it.”

He’s dodging, but you sense that he kept the bat for the same reason as why you kept the switchblade. You’ve been waiting in fear for something else to happen. “You don’t look too bad with it.”

Steve blushes a bit, which your stomach flutters seeing. “I, uh… Guess we can’t have that talk tonight?”

“No, not unless we somehow manage to deal with Dart in a timely manner. However, if I recall, nothing ever goes our way.”

“Nope!” He closes the trunk and tosses you a flashlight. Then, he sticks his hand out for you to shake. “But for now… Truce?”

You giggle. “Truce.”

His hand is warm, and even though you had just been holding it in the car moments earlier, his touch still fills you with a gooey warmth that you’ve come to associate with him. As soon as you and him are alone, away from Dustin’s nosy ears, you’ll really apologize to Steve. He may be being nice to you now, but he’s still guarding himself from you.

You hate it. You miss how open he used to be with you.

“Ready to go re-live my nightmares?” Steve asks.

You give him a thumbs up as you start heading towards Dustin. “Always, let’s go.”

“Took you guys long enough.” Your brother mutters when you and Steve arrive at the cellar, weapons in hand. You flash him an apologetic smile while Steve simply ignores him.

Steve approaches the door and listens for a second, “I don’t hear shit.”

You frown and listen as well. He’s right, it’s eerily silent. You shoot Dustin a questioning look and he shrugs as well, “He’s in there.”

“Duh, I know that much, You almost knocked me out when you shoved past me to get Dart in there.” you remark, before softly adding “he’s gotta be in there.”

Your words don’t reassure Steve, who begins to use the tip of his bat to bang against the locked doors. When nothing happens, he bangs harder against them before sighing in annoyance.

“All right, listen kid.” Steve begins, and you start to rub small circles into your scalp in a vain attempt to lessen your headache, because you already know that the next words out of his mouth will start yet another fight. “I swear, if this is some sort of Halloween prank, you’re dead.”

“Steve…” He ignores you and stares down your brother, shining the flashlight directly at his face in what you assume is meant to be a threatening manner.

“It's not a prank,” Dustin tiredly replies, squinting his eyes against the light. “Get it out of my face.”

Steve complies, still hesitant about the situation at hand, and turns to face you. “You got a key to this thing?”

You nod and fish the keys from out of your pocket and unlock the cellar doors. Steve bends down to investigate, and without him having to ask, you hand him the flashlight and step forward so that you’re next to him.

He flashes the light down the stairs and all that the three of you can see is darkness. An uneasy feeling creeps over you. Something isn’t right, but you really hope that you’re wrong.

“He has to be further down,” you say, more so to reassure yourself than the others.

Dustin shuffles his feet next to you and says, with an extremely unconvincingly “brave” voice, “I’ll stay up here in case he tries to… escape.”

Both you and Steve look at him in disbelief. Dustin stands his ground, however, and looks at the two of you expectantly. Steve shakes his head while you sigh in defeat. Your brother is such a pain sometimes.

“You do realize that if Dart eats me, you’ll have to deal with mom all by yourself, right?” You ask him.

The boy shrugs at you. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take, Y/N.”

“Yeah, love you too.” You mumble, before you begin to follow Steve down the steps.

“I’ll be thinking of you!” Dustin calls out, his voice echoing against the cellar walls.

You trail behind Steve, and the flashlight he brought does nothing to illuminate the dark area, so it’s a relief when he reaches above his head to turn the light on. As your eyes adjust to the light change, you scan the room to find the missing demodog. However, all your eyes land on is a long, thin sheet of film on the ground that you can only assume is molted skin.

“Oh, shit…” you breathe out. “This isn’t good.”

Steve picks the skin up with the tip of his bat and examines it and shakes his head. “Please tell me this isn’t Dart.”

“Actually, it’d be easier if it was him.”

Steve doesn’t laugh at your joke; he continues to look around the room before his eyes widen. You turn your head to see what’s caught his attention, and when you spot the problem, your knees weaken.

There’s a giant, Dart-sized hole in your cellar wall.

“Steve? Y/N? What’s going on down there?” Dustin’s voice carries down to you guys, and you and Steve share a nervous glance.

“Dustin…” You call up to him, your voice weaker than you’d prefer. You wish you could be braver for him at the moment, but right now it takes everything within you not to crawl into bed and shut the world out. Why did it always have to be giant monsters?

While you’re reeling, Steve walks over to the bottom of the steps and flashes his light at Dustin, instructing him to come down. Once the boy has joined you guys, Steve guides the light to his bat so that Dustin can see the skin.

“Oh, shit.”

“Funnily enough, that’s what your sister said, too.”

Then Steve shines the light to where the hole in the wall is, and you watch Dustin’s face go from concerned to horrified. “Oh, shit!”

The three of you crouch closer to the hole, and when Steve shines the flashlight through it, your heart stops and you gasp, “It’s a tunnel.”

“No way…” Dustin says in awe.

It’s hard to see exactly how deep the tunnel goes, but something tells you that there’s more to it than meets the eye. This wouldn’t be some simple fix like you had desperately hoped it would be.

Now you really, really wish Jonathan were here. And Nancy. Definitely Nancy.

But they aren’t. This time, you’re on your own with only Steve and Dustin by your side. No one else in the party is available, you don’t even know where they are or if they’re even safe, but right now that doesn’t matter.

What matters is that Dart has escaped.

And it’s happening again.

Everything you’ve tried so hard for the last year to ignore, to move on and pretend never happened to you, has come crashing back into your life.

Steve, seeing your apprehension, grabs your hand and pulls you in close. “Hey, we’ll figure it out. I’ll be here, okay?”

Even though you don’t deserve his kindness, his sincerity, you believe him.

-

⌑ series masterlist

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[norman-fucking-reedus]

HE ATE MY HEART!

“I love that girl”

gif by @corvidcrossbow

IM SO FUCKING EXCITED TO FINALLY HAVE SOMETHING TO POST ON HERE AND ALSO TO POST SOMETHING TO THIS SONG

Vamp!Daryl has rotted not only my brain but the community. I am not sorry at all for the plague I'm spreading and I hope that it only gets worse.

So I've been doing some research on it, and I really like the idea of mixing the Blade universe w TWD, I did some more research on the different types of vampires (its kind of a lot so if you want you can go read abt them here!) To basically summarize, there's people, daywalkers (half vamp-people), walkers, full vampires, and then Revenants (half-walker half vampire, basically just another way to die)

This also makes it easier for whenever Scud becomes my next vampy victim

AUUUGH I NEED MY HOT SEXY NEEDY VAMPIRE MAN WHO JUST WANTS TO DRINK ALL MY BLOOD SOMEONE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FUCKING PLEASE

also I am working on reqs yes I am, I have one scud fic that is dirty and nasty and should be getting posted soon. also I may not be on tumblr as much as I used to be because GUYS I am now employed yes that's right I got off my computer, went outside, interacted with people, and got a job #gangshit

It had been over a week since Daryl had eaten, and over two since he had left to go out on the community's monthly supply run.

As he stumbled through the opening gates, he felt like he had been through a war. His body was wracked with exhaustion, weakness, and hunger. The air was thick with the strong scent of blood, and he couldn't keep himself from groaning painfully when he was bombarded by Carol and Rick asking where he had been, what had taken so long, and if he was alright.

“No! M’not alright dammit” He barked at them in frustration after being asked for the third time if he was alright, his voice laced with irritation and discomfort. Carol couldn't help but notice his pale and clammy appearance.

Her forehead creased into a frown as she tightly pursed her lips, giving Daryl a scolding look that made him uneasy. With a tone of concern, she asked, "I'm worried. When was the last you fed?"

The man's face twisted in discomfort as Rick and Carol stood in his space. He scoffed and muttered, "Not recently, m'fuckin' starvin'" The longer he stayed, the more his head spun and his vision blurred, causing the corners of his eyes to fade into a deep red color. His stomach churned uncomfortably, and he could feel his teeth starting to ache.

Rick observed Daryl's malnourished skin, staring at how he was almost transparent. His eyes were screwed shut as the sun harshly burned his sensitive orbs, and he was gripping the strap of his crossbow so hard that his fingers were starting to turn red.

"You should go see Y/n," Rick said, eyes fixed on his friend. "She should be back home and she's been asking about you. I think she misses you." Daryl's body tensed at the sound of your name, and a sudden chill ran down his spine, causing goosebumps to rise on his arms. He tried to hide his reaction, but Rick's sharp eyes didn't miss a thing.

Daryl's head drooped weakly as he could only manage a feeble nod. Rick and Carol had stepped off to the side for him, offering their silent support. Carol placed her hand gently on his shoulder, her grey hair falling across her face as she did so. Rick, with his stern expression, gave Daryl a look that he knew meant there was no room for argument.

His senses were already heightened to an extreme level, almost at an overload as the sun was abnormally bright, blazing down on him with a blinding intensity, making it difficult for him to even keep his eyes open. He could feel the heat searing his skin, causing beads of sweat to form on his forehead and trickle down his face. He noticed the way that his vest rubbed uncomfortably against him, the fabric clinging to his skin and making him feel sticky and irritable. His already aching teeth began to grind down against each other, and he could feel his razor-sharp fangs digging into the tender skin of his bottom lip, further fueling his pure discomfort.

Each step he took in the direction of your house was tiring and heavy, his dirty, muddy boots slapping against the ground as he dragged himself through the streets, promptly ignoring any strange or judgy looks that were thrown his way. He didn't have the time, let alone the strength to even bother paying them any mind. His stomach churned as his overwhelmed nose couldn't help but pick up the sickeningly sweet smell of blood.

It forced him to quicken his pace, trying to get just as far away from the public eye as he possible could. He didn't want to be looked at, didn't want to be stared at. He just wanted to get inside as soon as fucking possible and just tear off all his goddamn clothes. A ping of hope struck through him when he could see your familiar house only a short distance down the road, having to hold himself back from flat-out sprinting the rest of the way there.

Though it was only about a thirty-second walk, it had been the longest in his whole entire life, and walking up the small steps of your porch was like something out of a nightmare. He could disgustingly feel the material change in flooring when he stepped off the pavement and onto the creaky wood, the sound grating against his now way too-sensitive ears. Dear god, would someone fucking help him already?

Of course, as if on cue, the red front door to your house swung open, but instead of being met with a friendly face, he was met with the barrel of your gun.

"Daryl?" You questioned as you lowered the weapon slightly, a smile stretching across your lips once you had confirmed who was standing and dicking around on your porch. "Daryl!" You fully dropped your defensive position, stuffing the weapon in the band of your pants as you prepared to throw yourself at the man, halting when you finally took in his ruined appearance.

His breathing was labored, and it was hard to keep himself upright on his own two legs, forcing him to lean against the wall by the door. "Hey doll"

You scoffed at him in disbelief, "Don't you dare even "hey doll" me, mister! What the hell happened to you? Get in here right now" Grabbing the front of his vest and pulling his heavy body inside, Daryl groaning as each movement caused pain to his body, slumping against the door when you slammed it shut.

He couldn't be happier when he felt you prying the buttons of his stupidly itchy vest off, him shrugging it off as well as his crossbow, clattering down on the floor and probably chipping the metal further.

"Jesus Daryl, you look fucking terrible. Did you feed on anything at all out there?" You purse your lips as you analyze and checked his unnaturally pale chest, letting out a surprised hiss at the burn lingering on your fingers tips from where you had brushed them against the skin of his shoulder

Daryl groaned as you directed him to sit on the couch, the short steps from the front door already leaving him utterly winded, almost dripping in sweat as he wheezed each breath of air.

“‘Wasn’t much… ‘wasn’t much out there” He spoke breathlessly, head spinning and his stomach loudly churning when you stood in front of him.

When you extended a hand out to cup his face, he tightly gripped your wrist with a shaky hand. “Don’. Please don’” He didn’t want to feed from you, not like this, not in a state where he couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t absolutely drain you.

“Daryl” You whispered softly, frowning slightly as you started taking your shirt off, and he wanted to scream at your stubbornness.

You straddled his lap and gently brushed the hair sticking to his forehead off, his blue eyes starting to tint red as the smell of your blood was strong, right in his face. “I don’ wanna”

“I know you don’t sweetheart, but you’ll die. What am I gonna do if you die?” You cupped his face, forcing his gaze onto yours. He whimpered slightly at your touch, his whole body sensitive and reactive.

Daryl shivered when you combed fingers through his hair, hands curling around your hips when you directed his head to your neck. “I trust you, more than I even trust myself” You whispered soothingly into his ear, and he almost wanted to cry.

He could smell the blood coursing through you like it was a burning candle, and his mouth was uncontrollably watering. His fangs were sharp and heavy, aching with the need to sink into your skin, which is exactly what he did, groaning against you at the first drops of blood, not wasting against another second before he was greedily taking mouthfuls.

It was so good, so warm and fresh, sweet and bitter. Daryl had drank lots of blood before, and yours was easily his favorite. He craved it during his time out there, not just because there was a serious lack in wild animals, but because it was addictive.

He squeezed your hips, soft and pillowy in his buzzing palms as he could feel himself starting to get hard in his pants, the more blood he swallowed the more drunk he got.

It made you feel good to watch his natural tan color fade back, his scarred back no longer a ghastly pale. You ran your fingers through his hair, occasionally curling your fingers and gripping the dark locks to grind down against his now-straining cock.

Daryl made soft, small sounds as he fed, each roll of your hips making each gulp of your blood taste so much better. His senses were at an all-time high, overwhelmed and at an absolute edge. He couldn’t help the way his hands pressed you down on his cock, hips desperately jerking against you as he could feel himself getting closer and closer, his head spinning in a blood lust haze.

He was so close, so very fucking close. His sharp claws had made themselves known, and you jolted when they painfully curled into your flesh, hips sputtering and slightly faltering in their movements. Daryl had no problem picking up the slack, almost fucking you right through his pants from how hard he was rutting up into you.

It was just all so much, his whole body on fire with pure arousal as he sighed around a final mouthful of crimson, trembling from his core as his orgasm washed over him, pressing your clothed cunt against him as hard as he could, making his already fuzzy mind draw a complete blank, a loud groan tearing from his throat that caused his fangs to slip out from where he had punctured the skin and drop his head against your shoulder, whimpering softly as he held you down.

You scratched his scalp comfortingly, feeling a little woozy from the amount of blood he had taken. He hummed against you as he started to come down from not only the high of his orgasm but bubbly buzz from his feast.

“Feel better?” You asked in a quiet, sleepy voice when Daryl’s tongue cleaned the drops of blood that had leaked from the small wounds, coating the area in his saliva so that it could heal.

He nodded as peppered you in appreciative and apologetic kisses, pulling you flush against his bare chest by wrapping his arms around your back, claws retracted and replaced with blunt nails. “M’sorry fer hurtin’, ya”

“Instead, you should be sorry for not feeding yourself, mister” You said as you shook your head, pinching his side as you got a bit upset again. “You know it scares me shitless when you do that”

“I know, I know. M’sorry for tha’ too” Daryl grumbled, feeling fatigued as well now that his tummy was full and satiated. His body was still weak and needed rest, now yours did as well considering he had taken a lot more than usual. “I’ll make it up to ya’” He said as he pushed himself up off the couch, grunting as it was a lot harder with tired muscles and one hand keeping his woman wrapped around him, adding a second once he was finally standing.

You giggled at that, arms hooked around his neck. “And just how will you do that?”

“Got a real good idea” Daryl smirked, hoisting you up as he ascended up the stairs to your shared bedroom, hungry for something else that was much better than blood.

I started writing this a few days ago I think this is the quickest I've written something

Vamp!Daryl is an absolute need. I'm loving every single post I see of him and I love watching the disease spread faster than fucking covid I jump for joy when I see someone I don't even know talking abt him is this what fame feels like is this what its like to be famous am I fucking famous

yes you do want more of this so go read more

Bloodthirsty @dixons-sunshine

Bite me @mydearestdaryl

[mako-neexu]

all guda related stuff in mahoyo collab

summoning as a highly complicated magecraft -> highly intact sense of self, magical energy, magical crest, sheer willpower........you who is light and equally dark....

casual comments/banter to the people they trust

guda getting shocked of all things at a talking bird www

gudako -> young girl that likes to jog every morning

gudao -> brat that likes small time candy store sweets

UGH the further emphasis on Servants being familiars that no one - not anyone should just use (exceptional...)

stressing the role of a 'Master'

'I also make mistakes a lot'

"I still don't see what's so special about summoning."

guda screams during summons? lmao kind of reminds me of mash with lord camelot

the way guda just refers to other people as 'that another human' www (i know 'person' is more accurate but to me it sounds like an alien in disguise calling someone as 'fellow human' ww)

Of COURSE guda knows how to stop their own pulse

disbelief. perhaps gut feeling. guda's perception of death to others. (i guess in the face of unnatural they would doubt it. but considering Id chapter, it would depend on the person and how theyre closest to?)

'more like tobimaru' 'more like soujyuurou' getting angry on behalf of someone without letting it show as well... i Understand.

THE TOPIC OF AGING KILLS ME. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE HESITANT????? dont yokuwakaranaina ME????

Don't face world-ending disasters alone

IM CRYING OH MY GOD IM NOT WELL "did you sleep well?" "i slept peacefully because the night was quiet and nice" AUGH GUDAAAAA😭

probably nothing of note but additional descriptor to guda is that they look like a college student as compared to previous descriptions of being 'high school student'.......

not being good at horror stories 🥹 reminds me of summer 5...

(unwell) i forget about guda's tactical prowess sometimes (lies) + guda's mention of the looking glass reminds me of berkercas valentines...

Subtle but gudao's reaction to beating down kashin is 'exhausted or relieved' meanwhile for dako she has the 'doubt' in her dialogue

subtle again but theres a hesitance to guda when asked about what the future looked like. but their second option is saying "eh there arent any flying cars anyways"

ahh okay now i know the crypto stuff guda said. its from gudao. is this MHX's influence lmao. gudao youre advertising crypto seriously? ww

guda casually joking about the times they astral project out of their body likes its nothing and mash is not normal either of course and treats it as regular occurrences. well, its regular but for a normal average person in the 21st century, it certainly isnt ww

GUDA ONCE AGAIN PROVING that despite being 'camera' for us players, they actively hide information and i am not over that fact. (knowing who the culprit is before most of the rest-)

guda not hesitating at ALL to rayshift back to 1999 where the end of the world was supposed to happen www

Ah!! To encourage kinomi in confessing, guda confessed their own out in the open!!!

A bakery with the one they love / A wish to reach the South Pole

You may not be able to have all of your dreams, your nights be peaceful, but I hope that you will still be rewarded at the end of your journey 😭

[n0phalt]

people found this which is kind of funny but also kind of keeps reminding me that the thing Happened even though my brain has since blocked it out so. mixed bag

i love the grind i love experiencing something devastatingly life altering and getting home just in time to scarf down One meal for the day and sleep immediately so i can get up in time to do the last few days of job that makes me frustrated and guilty inherently. guy in corner meme ‘they dont know i witnessed the horrors yesterday’ with name tag that says ‘im sooooooo normal’

[joysmercer]

okay I’m so curious about the short fic you posted yesterday

can I ask how in this universe nina dies? And does eddie too?

(it’s mask of anubis on main btw)

ooh fun questions!! i was hoping someone would ask cuz i couldn't figure out how to work it in. also i added way too much info that you didnt ask for so now it's under the cut :D

first of all, this au is a much darker take on how i think nina's life "actually" played out – I think she'll always have random spirits coming up to her etc, but in this au, it's pretty constant and can get very dangerous very quickly. on the flip side, she sees a lot more fame for her "irl" work than she does "in canon" (see below).

somewhat ironically (given how guarded nina becomes from the constant barrage of gods forcing her to do things), she makes her living off of writing movies about her experiences. i think she does this in canon too, but here she really throws herself into it, almost like a form of therapy since there isn't really any professional she can process things with, you know? she eats, sleeps, breathes her craft – whenever she has downtime, she's writing, editing, networking to get her words out there. she's so fast and so talented with it that she graduates university in three years with honors, by which time the chosen one (season 1) has already been picked up by a major company and has started filming; she wins her first oscar two years later, and the next two each year after that.

(actually, all four scripts got picked up at the same time, which is why the turnaround was so quick – but they didn't announce the sequels until after the oscars because at that point she was a relatively unknown person)

(also i know this isn't how these things work irl but just work with me here. maybe she called in a favor from a random god and had things sped along idk)

anyway, the point im trying to make is that she spends her whole life balancing what she wants to do (her work) with what she has to do (paragon shit) and has a weird sense of self-worth as a result (she knows she's good at what she does, but wants to hide it from the world at the same time (out of fear). she hates that she needs others to keep her safe and refuses to believe they're doing it out of kindness, even though she also knows that they genuinely love her. it's weird) (also she and fabian make up sometime during their uni years so all is good there)

anyway, they (amber + KT) set up a rota of all ex-sibuna members (+ willow as she learns about it pretty quickly post-grad) to spend time in the states for a couple months out of the year each. this essentially made sure there was always 1 other person on the mission with her and 2 people nearby who knew where they were going, should things go wrong and they need rescuing or something. but for small/random tasks, nina would just do those alone.

her last mission (that fabian alludes to) had taken months to complete: three formerly-benign ghosts had been "turned" by a magician up in canada, released from the underworld, and, driven mad by the magic (and confusion of being back in the real world), had started a series of freak thunderstorms across the american midwest. together with jerome, she had to figure out how they got released, stop the magician, construct the device necessary to trap the spirits and send them back, and use said device to stop the storms. the effort had completely exhausted her (so much so that she – making headlines – decided to take a step back on touchstone production, instead of hanging out on set like she did for the other three)

(that's why tor is the way it is. with her dropping off of the face of the earth, someone decided – while she couldn't argue against it – to absolutely slash the budget, which lead to a mess of a story (screenplay is the only oscar it wins)

nina's death (as alluded to in the article) really seemed out-of-the-blue. basically, she was on a mission – alone – that suddenly and very unexpectedly turned dangerous. but when she was found (by KT and amber together) it looked like she just collapsed at home – there was no indication of any foul play or anything, really, of how she died.

also alluded to in the article, but a lot (but not all) of KT's "investigative journaling" was her covering up the consequences of nina's missions with theories that would make sense to the general public. nina's last request of her was to halt any investigation into her death prematurely as she knew things would unravel pretty quickly otherwise

joy's role in nina's life was mainly to book her for enough public-facing events/etc so that people wouldn't question where she was when she "disappeared" for a month or two, as well as act as her social media manager/"source close to her" to tabloids during extended absences so people continue to think she's okay. this was especially important given nina's monumental rise to fame (and as a screenplay writer, at that! usually it's the actors/directors who get most of it!) and her relatively young age, which meant she got herself a fandom very quickly…and we all know what the rumor-spreading capabilities of stan twitter are like. there were quite a few times nina came back from a mission to find several "new" pics on her instagram or that shes going viral for something she doesn't "remember" saying lskdjf

amber's role was to media-train the hell out of nina so she never gives any indication that a) there's an element of truth in her work; b) she lives a double life; and c) weird things keep happening in the cities she happens to frequent (eg random buildings falling, artifacts disappearing, etc). we all know this girl can't lie to save her life…amber is nothing but a miracle-worker in that regard lol

as for eddie – his death is basically the reason things are so awful, now. he actually dies at the end of tor, and not only does osiris himself blame nina for it (using "logic" that can rival senkhara's in s2), but it also leaves nina terrified since she no longer has a protector – something all the other gods/spirits quickly take advantage of (threats/blackmail/etc) for the first few years, by which time word of her willingness to do anything spreads and she can't get rid of the constant requests. it doesn't help that his death also proved to them that nina (like her counterpart) can, and will, sacrifice herself to save the world, if it came down to it, making her the perfect pawn in a lot of schemes.

[percynorthwest]

@jegulus-microfic

Jegulus Microfic

june 23 - Brain

1300 words

TW: OCD, compulsions, and some ERP-therapy

(Reg is struggling with his ocd, trying to do ‘therapy homework’ and James supports him best he can)

(a/n at the end)

"You don't understand! There is something wrong with my brain!" Regulus says, voice filled with anger, no -desperation, in such a way that makes James shiver. "I have to. I have to, I have to, i have to I have to I have to." each time he repeats himself, the previous agitation lessens, and what's left is sobs, getting more quiet each time.

James doesn't know what to do. He wants to help Regulus as best as he can, but he also knows that he shouldn't reassure too much, that that would only hurt in the long term.

"It doesn't work, why can't it just be like i want it to?!"

He mumbles with the panic still stuck in his throat. Tears are running down his cheeks, but he doesn't pause the task at hand for even a moment to wipe them away- something he would otherwise usually do as soon as possible (he hates the feeling of them on his face, james knows.) James, still feeling helpless, takes a tissue, softly ask if it's okay for him to wipe them away, to which Regulus nods and lets out a slight hulk.

Carefully, James brings the tissue to regulus face, and softly wipes away the tears.

"Help,"

James could barely hear the word uttered from Regulus' mouth.

"How can I help my love?" He asks.

"I don't know," Regulus answers, once again starting to hulk more violently, breathing faster. "it's just wrong, everything ís wrong, i get it wrong. i can't stop."

james takes a sharp breath, trying to find something that would be able to help, but not only in short -time. He has researched the disorder ever since Regulus told him about it. Obsessive compulsive disorder. Reassuring will only lessen the worry of the moment, it won't actually help. Trying to argue with logic on why to stop, wouldn't help. Saying "It looks fine, just stop." or "They're clean, you can stop washing your hands" certainly wouldn't help. Not that those examples were any contenders to James on what to do.

"I know that there's no logic in it, at least no concrete logic. But in my head it makes perfect sense, and i just have to. everything will be okay if i just do it. But each time i follow through with a compulsion, it makes them harder to ignore in the future. It only lessens the anxiety of the now, but in a way i only postpone the anxiety until i'm not able to follow through with it. And all of a sudden what i only did once or twice a day, becomes the most time-consuming thing in my life. And just like that im stuck, and just the thought of stopping - of not doing it- feels impossible. I just have to"

Regulus has said that when trying to explain his disorder to James.

"Should we put on a timer?" James asks.

Regulus nods.

"How long?"

Regulus thought about it for a moment.

"Two minutes." he finally landed on.

the hulking calms down, and Regulus seems to be able to breathe more slowly.

He was folding clothes, something he hadn't done in a long time due to his ocd. It wouldn't be 'just right' and he would have to do it over and over again. Finally he stopped folding his clothes all together, he just threw the clothes straight from the dryer into the closet. There was some kind of irony in that, something regulus had previously pointed out, that because he couldn't fold his clothes 'perfectly' he would just throw them in the closet instead. His clothes were always wrinkly.

A lot of people assumed that just because he had OCD, he would constantly clean, and be super organized, but he wasn't. Maybe it was like that for some people, but not for him -and probably not for most. And it certainly isn't some sort of superpower, it's exhausting and extremely time consuming.

Starting to fold his clothes again is part of his therapy, ERP-therapy, exposure response prevention. He is supposed to do the tasks, without compulsions, or with the least amount of compulsions possible. It's difficult, extremely anxiety inducing and nerve-wrecking.

"Do you want me to stay by you, or leave you alone?" James asked, completely without judgement, knowing that Regulus was slightly ashamed of his compulsions, and rather wouldn't let people see.

"You can leave." Regulus says, "And I'll come out when the timer runs out."

James nods, even though Regulus was too focused on the clothes in front of him to even see. he was smoothing out wrinkles meticulously.

Just when James stepped out of the room, he could hear Regulus calling out for him.

"Yeah?" he says as he turns around in the doorframe.

Regulus don't look back when he continues.

"Will you be mad at me if I can't do it?" He asks, back still turned towards James, and hands occupied with the clothes.

it was said so softly and in such a vulnerable voice, that james felt his heart break a little.

"No, i will never be mad at you for this." he says softly. "But you're not doing it for me, you're doing it for yourself, and to get better, so it's not about pleasing me, it's about trying to resist the intrusive thoughts."

James knew that Regulus already knew all that, and maybe this one of the times where he wasn't supposed to reassure Regulus, he wasn't sure, but he also didn't want Regulus to do this for anyone other than himself - that wouldn't be helpful for him in the long run either.

Regulus nods, and james leaves and takes a seat in the sofa, trying not to worry too much, and concentrate on his phone instead. He wasn't able to, but he scrolled down the endless feed nonetheless.

When the alarm rings in the room next by, it rings for a while before it stopped. And Regulus doesn't come out.

James stays on the couch. They had discussed everything somewhat beforehand, and james isn't supposed to interfere if Regulus doesn't ask for help.

If he hadn't research before, he knows that he would have been constantly enabling Regulus. He would always try to reassure him and help, and do whatever would make regulus feel better at that time. -and that wouldn't have helped Regulus at resisting the compulsions.

It's still hard not to, because all he wants to do is help Regulus when he's struggling. Make him feel better, make his anxieties go away.

after another minute or two, the alarm rings again. James stares at his phone, not even looking at what's on the screen, just waiting.

And then Regulus steps out of the room, and James feels a wave of pride wash over him. Because Regulus did it. He managed to resist, and put the clothes in the closet even though he really wanted to redo it.

Regulus is still looking quite tense, but he immediately meets James in a hug, and james feels good about being able to finally comfort Regulus.

"Do you wanna go on a walk?" James asks, knowing that Regulus is probably feeling quite uneasy, anxious, and might be needing some distractions.

And so they go on a walk. It's a short one, just around their neighbourhood. It's a path they will come to walk often, because it becomes sort of a routine to go on a walk after Regulus does his 'therapy homework'.

Each time resisting becomes a little bit easier; folding the laundry -or whatever other task that he's obsessing over- and each time it gets a bit quicker, and is a bit less anxiety-inducing. However it's not a straight line to recovery. Sometimes there's a step in the wrong direction, or it's at a long stand-still, but in the end he makes it through. It's not easy though. it's difficult, mentally demanding, and draining, but in the end so worth it.

There comes a time when he's able to do everything on the first try. The thoughts are still there, they just show up less often, and they are less intrusive.

AN:

this is largely based on my own experience with OCD, along with what I've learned by a psychiatrist. My experience of course doesn't reflect how it is for everyone - it's more or less completely individual, as well as what helps, if you or someone you know is struggling, seek professional help!

here's some resources: https://iocdf.org/

[aannonn]

★ ─。colorful text , strong colors , bold text , brief mention of suicide , implied/referenced grief , swearing

okay i know we are all excited about the actual short that just came out but let me ramble a bit about Red cause im getting emotional about this stick ... ( before my motivation to type all of this ends and i dont feel emotional anymore lol )

Red in season 3 went through so much istg ;; not only did he and Sec went through a very tense (and needed) fight which almost caused the end of their friendship (+ Sec was clearly in the winning side here, or Red was just really terrified of her at that moment given to how he tried to run away from her - of which i will probably talk about it in a later post maybe), but he was also really fucking tormented in monster school (i felt so bad for him in this episode i legit wanted to cry)

+ after all of this fiasco he really went ahead and carried this thing (of which, given to how he hit it on the ground and it made a soft thump, it must have been heavy asf) all the way to the other side and??? fucking smashed King's chin which made him fly to so fucking far ;; which means he literally used all of his strenght to carry this staff, and dropkick King with it, even if it was so hard he almost even dropped it at first

AND THEN HE JUST. PROCEEDS TO PASS OUT ON THE FLOOR CAUSE HES SO FRICKING TIRED AND EXHAUSTED AAWRGHWS

there are also other moments where i think he really deserves a break tbh ;;

he lost a pet. i have a pet myself and just the thought of ever losing him hurts so fucking much to the point i can feel my oof'ing urges coming back.

;; granted; it was a minecraft pig and it was high with all the potions, and also tried to kill all of them, but he clearly atleast had some care for that pig ... (the fact that he immediately stood up and spawned another animal makes me think about that one post/tiktok (i dont remember the user) i've seen ; which talked about Red possibly hiding/bottling up his sadness from others , in order to stay happy and positive or because he doesn't think his struggles are important enough compared to the others' - which i think it make alot of sense since you rarely see him cry or something, just going numb and/or looking down in despair - the only ever time we ever saw him cry was when Green supposedly died.)

i haven't talked about this actual short before since i had no desire to , but damn bro the way i felt bad for Red in this(っ °Д °;)っ he just wanted to have red stuff for him aswell, since apparently it wasn't dropping for him for some reason???? okay he should have included green and blue stuff aswell instead of possibly removing them but. still. Green and Blue were so fricking wrong in this

and !! his and Sec's tense relationship in the past seasons ... i love Sec he's literally my fav out of them all but i cannot defend xem on this. i know she had her reasons and im not saying Red was in the right either but, gosh ... pretty ironic given he's the one who inspired xem to break in in their site and join them in their battle

... i dont even need to explain do i

he lost a pet ... again. and because of his own fault aswell ! he knew the possible dangers of fusing the command block and the staff together , given how he almost got possessed alongside his friends the first time something like this happened , and yet ... he did it anyway . and beeper died as a consequence . i cant imagine how much guilt he must have felt .. (probably one of the main reasons why he didnt put up a fight when they put him in the timeout box)

i think he wanted to cry at this scene ngl ,,,

thinking about this ; they are all really tragic characters tbh ,,, stepping away from the heavy angsty all of c!Alan's stickfigures go through , rygb goes through a lot of shit aswell , and tbh i just feel bad for all of them ; they are all such tragic characters that deserve a very well-needed break break/_ \

since we are in this topic aswell , i would like to mention how i really love Blue and his immediate rush in being a comfort for the others<3

i used to think Yellow was the therapist friend but we only ever saw him comfort Blue lolll ( i love him anyway ;; i think Blue is more of a therapist friend than he is though )

[anzynai]

Hello! I don’t know if you’re still taking TWST requests, but if you are, I’d like to request a platonic fic/drabble (depending on what you’re more comfortable with) with lers!Ace and Deuce and lee!Yuu/Reader. My idea is that Yuu’s been feeling kind of blegh all day for no real reason, so Ace and Deuce give them a playful little wrecking to cheer them up. Thank you and stay safe!

A Laughable Solution

Ace & Deuce & Reader (TWST)

a/n: HELLO im so sorry this was like,, super late but i enjoyed writing this a lot! it was a bit of a struggle because for some reason, i really cant get their characters down, but i hope it’s not too bad! besides that, i hope u enjoy <3

summary: see above !!

word count: 1.1k

——

Ughhh. You groaned for the hundredth time that day. What is with you today?

You felt just so.. unmotivated today, and you didn’t know why. There wasn’t any particular reason, but you knew instantly that today wouldn’t be a good day the second your eyes opened that morning. All you wanted to do was crawl into bed and never see the light of day until this mood of yours could pass.

You tried to hide it, but found that even that was hard to do. You were exhausted and your friends, Ace and Deuce had caught on.

You sat in between them at the table in your dorm, your head on the table in your arms. You could hear them whispering, and you knew it was about you when you heard them utter your name.

You groaned again. Much less subtly than before.

“Uh, is it just me or is something wrong with you today?” Ace asked, raising a brow.

“Yeah, you look a little.. upset?” Deuce added, and you peeked at him through your arms, seeing concern in his features. Looking at Ace, he was acting as though he didn’t care, but even you could see that he was a bit worried.

“I’m fine, just.. tired,” You muttered, slowly.

“I’m not really sure I buy that,” Ace replied, flicking his wrist.

“Did someone do anything to you?” Deuce asked, unsure of what to say.

“No, I’m fine!” You rushed, not really wanting to worry your friends even more. “I am just— I don’t know, feel.. wrong today? It’s not for any actual reason. It just.. isn’t a good day,” You mumbled, a little sheepishly.

Ace and Deuce shared a look. Weird. Then, they turned towards you, and you began to feel a bit nervous.

“G-guys?” You stuttered, backing up in suspicion when they got closer to you. You didn’t really know what they were up to, but considering it was them, it couldn’t be anything good.

“Don’t worry! This isn’t gonna hurt!” Ace exclaimed, and he was right, it didn’t hurt; it tickled. A lot. Before you could even move, Ace had latched his hands on you, kneading his fingers to, well, tickle you. Deuce was a bit slower on the uptake, but just as determined as he hooked under your underarms and kept scribbling at the sensitive skin.

“Gahaha! Stohop!” You shouted out, instantly, not expecting to be tickled of all things. The usual Ace and Deuce shenanigans included ways to make you laugh– which, thinking about it, tickling actually made a lot of sense– but not like this! They would tell jokes, do silly dances, and even sometimes, distract you with games or something!

“Stop? We’re just getting started!” Ace said, as he continued squeezing your sides, feeling more excited at every jolt you made.

“Ahahahace! Deucehehe!” You giggled, feeling incredibly embarrassed. Ace looked like he was enjoying every second of this, and when you craned your neck to look at Deuce, he seemed very curious and interested.

“You’ll feel way better after we’re done!” Deuce declared, confidence brewing in his tone. His fingers were almost stuck to you, the way they were unrelentless in the tickling. He would scratch at your underarms and poke and your ribs, and it was evil. You couldn’t even stop your laughter if you tried!

“Plehehease!”

“I don’t know. I think I like this side of you. Don’t you, Deuce?” Ace teased, and you could feel your face heat up at that.

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice,” Deuce said, with a small blush on his cheeks, something of a habit of his when complimenting someone. Still, honest as he was, he couldn’t disagree.

When Ace turned to tickling a spot that was especially sensitive to you, you could feel your laughter becoming louder. The two clearly noticed as well. Ace lingered on that spot, and Deuce’s movements faltered, curious to see what Ace had discovered.

“Nohoho!” You cried, squirming in their grasps. Ace chuckled, amused and surprised.

“No way, you’re ticklish here too!” Ace said, mostly to himself, but loud enough to ensure you heard him. Ugh, you wanted to die of shame right then and there.

“They seem to be.. pretty ticklish,” Deuce also noted, and you hadn’t even thought what was happening could get worse! And yet, you found yourself leaning into their touch just slightly. You shook your head when you noticed, because you knew you would never hear the end of it if they found out that you might… actually enjoy being tickled. Even if it was just a little bit.

Instead, you took to fighting them off with more fervor than before. They did, in fact, notice that as they also tickled you with more fervor. Your… flailing and squirming against them didn’t exactly help you at all and you were almost tempted to just give up and accept your fate.

“Heheheey! Stahahap it!”

“Not gonna happen!” Ace responded, his fingers scribbling along your tummy. You tried to suck your stomach in, but amidst your laughter, it was proving to be very difficult. Even worse when his finger started swirling around your navel. You tensed, feeling tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

Deuce’s ticklish assault now on your hips was much more tame, but still added to the torture you were definitely enduring right now! Even then, he looked much more into tickling you than he was before, clearly having gotten comfortable.

“Plehehehease! Ahahaha!” You giggled, slurring your words, feeling a bit delirious. “Mehehehrcy!”

At last, the tickling came to a stop. Not immediately, but their slippery fingers eased up, and finally stopped, leaving you a panting, flustered mess. Gahhh.

“How do you feel?” Deuce asked, a soft smile on his face as he waited for your answer.

“Ah, that was fun!” Ace said, and you narrowed your eyes at him. Wasn’t the point of this to cheer you up? Why did he look more content than you did?

You sighed. “I.. I guess I don’t feel as bad as I did before,” You admitted, but you sat up with a glare. “But, don’t do that again!”

You felt a bit regretful saying that, but admitting you didn’t mind it was definitely too much! Maybe you’d tell them one day, but not today. And, well, even with your words, you were positive that this wouldn’t be the last time they would tickle you. Ace certainly would, considering his reaction.

Deuce and Ace merely chuckled at your reaction, and you pouted. Leaning back on the ground, the two followed. You let out a deep breath.

While tickling might not always be an effective method in cheering you up, it was this time, and that was enough for you. You really had the best friends.

[iodrawsandtalks]

A long-ass testimonial as a player of Honkai: Star Rail. please read if you have the time. I wish all honkai content creators would bear to understand this

goin through exhaustion rn but thats just normal and not something id complain about. Anyways when this game released in summer 2023, I was just as hyped as everybody else. I had started playing since the last closed beta where I had gotten bailu and mained qingque cuz she felt so real for being lazy on the job plus i LOVED playing hard and winning big.

I had a fun time later when the game ACTUALLY did release though I had to say goodbye to my bailu who I replaced with Clara and mained Seele who I knew from playing Honkai Impact for quite a while. I felt like i fit in with every other HI3/HSR player, running high spd seele with bronya and taking my silver wolf to every Simulated Universe fight, and laughing about getting rolled by the blue gorilla that hates when people use skills. I laughed at the launch memes everyone else was laughing at and usually was the first person to beat new bosses fights and stories when they came out.

I've realized that just because you think you fit in with people, doesn't mean they'll act like you do fit. They watch you trip, and struggle, and when the thing you like starts slinging venom at you, they let you fall. They laugh when you get hurt and protect what hurt you. Now when I started this game, as a black guy I was aware dumb, racist things were gonna pop up, as we know with genshin impact with the whole ass glass bottle floating around calling desert explorers/fighters "sand-lickers", and Honkai Impact's one black character being one who hates her dark skin and bleaches it consistently with makeup. She's also the only character to never get special outfit effects. Naturally, I did not bat an eye at the dark skin lightning guy having the SHACKLE BREAKER and SWIFT HARVEST SKILLS.

as we may know im a lore guy who thinks a lot. there is no "character reference" or wordplay that holds up here. This is dumb associations made to dark skinned individuals for doing slave work(harvesting.) and being held in chains(shackle). Anyways somehow even though this eluded me, I found it odd that the one dark skinned character in the roster was the bad one. People would make all kinds of excuses but never show anything concrete. Arlan himself is lacking the skill point mechanic which literally bars him from an entire simulated universe path. see my notes on him here . Point is this got worse as time went on, to a point where this fan that was still crazy hyped after the Xianzhou arc hype was watching every promotional video for the next region. Penacony, and got hit with the revelation that their next region was going to be based on the Jazz Age. Jazz is known throughout the world as one of the most widely celebrated creations of black people for the rest of the world, and the soul of Jazz, Funk, Pop, and many other types of music rest in black history, black stories, and black emotions. I'd rather not revisit the complete amalgation of this soul that is that dumb fucking region with the slave master and the incel-heaven slur slinger invading the quantum meta, but I should still add that the story is an incredibly half-assed take at introducing evil concepts like slavery and trying to add nuance to them. I played through so many routes where there was some implication of slavery benefitting a future society, and there was this one awful point i had to check out at where the player uses CLOCKWORK TO FIX THE MIND OF A DISCONTENT FREED SLAVE SO THEY SEEK THEIR MASTER AGAIN. There is no "makes sense in context" or "theres lore behind this" because that should be taken at face value. Their disgusting apparition of the Jazz Age should not be justified and glorified the way it is today. I believe in protecting the history of those who paved the way for me and I also would like to believe that I shouldn't have to fight to not deal with mockery within games or shows I enjoy. This whole experience I've had has tainted this game for me. I was listening through my fighting game playlist earlier and WHITE NIGHT came on. The first time I had heard it I thought it was amazing and wanted to make a cover of it and enter the 2024 fan art contest. But when I heard it for the most recent time, I wanted to vomit. This 'fun party' song was empty and felt like it was slinging lies of joy and entropy in my face. I couldn't celebrate the media that glorified excusing my people from society. And I really don't get WHY everyone else does. As somebody whose played a lot of mainstream games I've seen a crowd that acts woke to social issues and seemed to stand up in the face of injustice. I don't KNOW any internet culture so i thought activist = good person. recently ive seen and interacted with a lot of "activists" that were willing to watch this billion dollar company perpetuate racism, stereotypes and appropriation. This is usually because the company had given them a "complex" png with "emotions" that was "coded" to be made for them. and their character's emotions outrank real people's emotions in their interactions. these activists were more likely to listen to the billion dollar company's machinations of a white girl fairy princess or whatever their latest obsession was, than real people.

its been tiring and its been sickening. excuse me for being too real for a second but I AM SICK AND TIRED OF MENTALLY ILL WHITE PEOPLE ONLINE TELLING ME RACISM IS A CHARACTER TRAIT OR SOMETHING THAT CAN BE DONE RIGHT, OR SOMETHING THAT SPICES UP A NARRATIVE. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. what if we had characters that were abusers, huh? or pedophiles? and what if those characters never had to deal with consequences of their actions? and what if everybody was worshipping the writing team making these hero abusers, and hero pedophiles? would it suddenly make sense then?

can people stop hyping this awful shit up? Pick up a different game or something. stain their brand. Have an audience for your star rail content? can you draw like trees or something,..... instead? this is not a good game and it does not do good things. The developers are incels with a large cult following. They are not good people, they say the right things. stop feeding them. do something else. pick something else up. play something else. I know people may find their games and content dear to yall but if racism is worse to you than losing a game, boycott these rich, selfish snakes.

[bettertwin1]

Hi, old follower here from before you had 100 followers. I've got a semi serious question for you.

When I first followed you, I got the impression that you were a RP blog, in the case where you would RP with your "brother" (bettertwin9000), so I followed the rules as such. But later on it seems that this blog is your persona? In terms of everything said to this blog is a personal question to you? It's a weird situation where people asking those intrusive questions make sense for a RP blog, but in a normal blog situation it makes it intrusive.

Tldr, I think many are confused if this is an RP blog or you having Leo as your persona, so can you confirm what this blog actually is?

OMG HI LONG TIME FOLLOWER!!

And, for the sake of things making a little bit of sense, as much as sense as we can manage, keep in mind that we have OSDD, we're a system-

PUTTING IT UNDER CUT CAUSE IT'S LONG 😅

At the start of the blog <- in which we were advertising it as a roleplay blog, it was being run by our host and partially by me though I had no clue what I was doing at the time and bettertwin9000 was being run by our partner <- (which btw, made for some strange asks)

We continued advertising it as a roleplay even when we began suspecting and having full breakdowns over the idea of being a system due to some little things and some big things and lots of research and therapy and blah blah BUT we kept going back on it cause tbh DID is a hard thing to accept and we didn't want it <- still don't

SO now I was trying to run the blog more all the while trying to keep us grounded, IGNORING the possibility of DID and thinking, nah, this is just a really bad cause of delusions and we NEED to get reality checked NOW.

But I ALREADY KNEW i'm not REALLY Leo from rottmnt, but I am him, I was formed from that guy, created? Idk. He made me in his own image type reference audio. WOW IM NOT EXPLAINING ANYTHING 😭😭 did I mention we have a tendency to overexplain <- but specifically for me in the case of explaining things that are hard to explain, ANYWHIZZLE.

We kept going back and forth, confirming and denying the conclusion "we have osdd" cause that's terrifying and while this was happening I was still trying to force us to post and interact and involve ourself in arcs for the sake of distraction from EVERYTHING happening irl and the blog kind of made it worse but in a light hearted way cause suddenly the asks became really gross, and I felt really gross.

Sure, maybe someone who was roleplaying Leonardo would have no trouble answering asks about dead relatives or near death experiences or villains that have physically harmed you and your 'siblings' or about my crippling inability to speak about feelings and whatever else people diagnosed me with on here but I was having trouble answering it, I was getting uncomfortable and I was feeling genuinely overwhelmed because everything that definitely would be great material for a roleplay account was making me just feel, bad. <- which wasn't great considering at the time, feeling bad was not something i could have been affording to do

SO at some point, I started putting boundaries, didn't explain why, just continued under the guise of hey, roleplay guy here, the intruvsive invasive asks about my family and my mental health and my anatomy is making me want to die so please stop andbonly ask fun stuff like idk, if i put salt in donnie's coffee sometimes and everyone was like, yes leonardo in unison.

Then I slowly started getting more adamant on pushing the narrative that I am LITERALLY Leo from the show cause pushing that seemed to really help with the questions, and then the roleplay blog became more like. A personal blog for some dude who happened to be a ninja turtle alter and it'd unfortunately gotten so out of hand that explaining this now kind of made us even more exhausted cause oh man, we might get fake claimed huh <- we had worse things to deal with, internet drama didn't need to be added to this.

Anyway, if you read through all that junk, i'm sorry 😭, but i think it helps explain why the impression of the blog is so confusing cause it was being run by two ppl, a host and an alter who were constantly trying NOT to be those things until pretty recently when we started accepting the fact that we have Osdd

SO TIMELINE.

The blog starts off as an rp blog by our host and I unbeknownst to us both

The blog is fun and we start gaining traction

We also start gaining more mental health problems and have a full breakdown multiple times on many different social medias

We push through to cope

We talk to the other blog runners who are systems <- (Mikey, Raph and at the time when their account was apart of this, April) and they kindly answer and guide us through some things

We start adding boundaries for my sake

We talk to other systems on other social media and they help us with more stuff

We talk to our therapist

We do a ton of research on top of old research we'd apparently already done before <- suddenly we have a long document with so much information

We tell no one about the discovery when we start accepting the possibility

More funny stuff ensue and personal life things happen <- #ONLYTHEREALONESKNOW!

The only announcement I ever make that i'm an alter are one off comments in tags or answers that I never address again until I make an intro post that says I'm an alter in a system

The blog is what now?

The blog is still a roleplay account. Sometimes, canceled arcs that we would have done would have been considered roleplay <- a canceled christmas arc. But usually, this is just a blog. Like, this is just a blog I use to entertain people and to get some of my thoughts out like a singlet would. It's both i guess, it's whatever I want it to be and whatever you guys consider it to be.

The blog is just, my blog, I don't know how else to explain it 😅😅

Also, Bettertwin9000 was pretty much going through the same thing at the time and fun fact, he is actually my "brother" cause he's a Donnie alter <- (yay!)

Shoutout to the host who has their own blogs that they never really post on! couldn't have done it without you! <- and the many kind individuals who gave us their research material and links and answered our questions and stuck w/ us through the most confusing part of OUR LIFE

Srry again if this didn't answer your question like at all by the way, i THINK it at least explained some things but you know 😭 SORRY IDK

[arminsbf]

im rlly loving armin today…..tell me somethings about him….

HI DAHLIA!!!! me too omg literally every day 💗💗💗

i don’t know if this makes any sense at all because i’m just yapping but here you go!!!

before you dated it was SO fucking obvious that you liked each other — it became a running joke in the friend group about how he was so clearly in love with you

and yet I think it would take a long time before you two actually got together!! you had to be the one to admit your feelings — because ever since he realized how he felt, he stood by NEVER telling you abt it js because he was so scared you would reject him

but… srsly… he loves you so much. he’s so much happier now that he has you and that he doesn’t have to hide it anymore!!

mf sleeps SO MUCH, especially in the summer because he’ll be out in the sun all day and come home exhausted

he loves to watch movies with you but trust half of time he will js pass out while cuddling w you!!

basically whenever he’s touching you he gets tired :( you’re js so warm n comfy… he just… 😴😴😴

but that shows how much he trusts you!!!!! you’re really one of the only people he can be vulnerable around — even w how close he is to eren and mikasa

if you have long hair, he’ll learn how to do a ponytail, and then a braid… with help from you and from youtube 😭 he thinks it looks cute on you n he likes that he did it himself :3

maybe he’ll learn a french braid if u like when he does it enough!

loves spending time with you even if you’re doing literally nothing. he enjoys js being in the same room as you even if you’re doing something else

STUDYING!!!! you know he is such a nerd… he really does spend a lot of his free time studying/doing his work. his favorite thing though is working while you’re in the room!! like I said he really js likes being around you… you don’t have to be interacting.

he just likes having you there, even if you’re just on your phone or smth! he likes hearing your breathing, and having something to look at. he feels like a weirdo because it’s not much different from being by himself — but he loves you so much and js wants to spend as much time with you as he can!!

I KNOW YOU SAID THIS BEFORE BUT HE LOVES FRUIT???? he is always eating fruit. if you like fruit too he will make you this https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLyJ1d5B/ and eat it with you

i mentioned this once but i’m so serious he ran track in high school. he ran the 400 and HATED it but all his friends did sports and he was like okay i guess i can do this…

absolute demon at beach volleyball

always hounds you abt sunscreen because he spends so much time at the beach. “no babe you’re gonna get skin cancer you need to put it on!!!!”

but he offers to do it for you so it’s not so bad :3

he is allergic to shellfish

another thing i’ve mentioned before is that I think he gets nightmares sometimes :( he might wake you up from squirming or making noise, but then you can be there for him!

he’s usually okay right after, it’s never anything too bad — mostly just falling dreams, or maybe being chased. still leaves him feeling anxious and overwhelmed, so he’ll hold you close. with you there to calm him down he can fall back asleep peacefully

hmm i think he likes to hold your hand n kiss your forehead n your nose during sex :3

he’s super clingy w you in private but he gets so embarrassed talking about it with his friends…

like of course he’s not embarrassed to talk about you and how amazing you are but he struggles to talk about how much YOU love HIM without wanting to run and hide

cook him anything and he’s instantly proposing. he loves eating food you make even if it’s not good!!!

ice cream dates!!! he likes ice cream anddd I think his favorite flavor is mint chocolate chip

there,,, a lot of random thoughts abt my bf armin i hope you enjoyed!! 💗💗💗💗

[ask-zadr]

how a conversation would go if dib could talk to his younger self:

Young Dib: so… I don’t get to become a paranormal investigator… but instead a scientist… just like dad wants… and I get badly injured because of it.

Dib: yes… but it’s not too bad. we still get to enjoy studying the paranormal in our own time and with our family… the explosion was awful, I can’t deny that, but I’m still alive which is remarkable in itself.

Young Dib: and what about zim? I see the earth is still intact! Did we win? What happened to him? Did I get to expose him or did he finally give up?

Dib: well… no. something you wouldn’t expect at all, really. you stop fighting and learn to understand each other more. Things change between you two and what had turnt to friendship becomes something more.

Young Dib: …what is that supposed to mean…

Dib: zim will become an every day part of your life, and it’s not bad. you are the happiest version of yourself, despite things not going the way you intended.

Young Dib: how? because I can’t see how my life could get any happier than this if it’s not exposing zim… I can’t see him becoming better at all! that’s lunacy!

Dib: he does. he breaks away his ties with the empire he’s apart of and you realize his life was a lot sadder and darker than it seems. Having an alien on your side is better than having an alien against you… but your life becomes better in a number of ways. dad starts to understand you more, your relationship with gaz gets better, you make a lot of good friends, you grow closer with your cousin and aunt, you fall in love and start a big family, you’re very successful, and for once in your life… you feel understood and loved. even if not by everyone, you realize the family and friends that care are enough. you are no longer alone and everything will be okay.

Young Dib: then… when? Im exhausted of being put down all the time. And who do we fall in love with?

Dib: it’s going to get worse before it gets better, unfortunately… but when it gets really bad, know it will pass. don’t freak out, but your soulmate is zim. it seems gross to you now, but with time it all naturally comes together and makes sense and you never feel closer to anyone else.

Young Dib: …so I have a family…. with…. oh god. I am very disturbed.

Dib: don’t think too hard about it. you don’t have the context for it to not be weird.

Young Dib: I’m going to try not to and hope that’s all a lie…. anyways, if I become happier… then life as an adult seems much better than being a kid like now…

Dib: in our case, I’d say so.

[lockandkeyhyena]

Hi! Just wanted to say you're a huge inspiration of mine, I absolutely love the way you deconstruct/dissect complicated (and often uncomfortable) concepts/topics, if that makes sense,, and I'm especially invested in the development of your Hell story :3

Intersectionality has always been fascinating to me, and I really appreciate your portrayal of both male and female abusers.

That being said, I would be really interested in hearing your answers to a couple of questions, if you don't mind:

Will Anne be presented as a "redeemable" (as in "able to improve herself") character, similarly to her son?

Would you consider her a "worse" person than Alvin? Or rather, will she be presented as a "worse" person than Alvin in the story? tbh (to an extent) can actions like this even have a measure of better-worse? im not certain

Will Anne have a backstory? If so, will it be "sad", similar to Alvin's?

What was Alvin's father like?

And on a much lighter note, I would love to hear some fun facts about Wendy :3 wonderful amazing fish lady

Sorry if i phrased any of this poorly aaaa

thank you sooo much that means a lot!! this story is very important to me, it’s one i’ve wanted to tell for a while.

answers to your questions!

all characters have the possibility to be redeemed in my mind, that’s generally the whole idea of the story. however, the thing is that characters need to *want* to be redeemed and anne is a character who fundamentally will never see what she did as wrong, at least in the context of this story. i’m certain you could manufacture circumstances to redeem her (i’m of the mindset that everyone can better themselves given enough time) but for the context of alvin’s story, she simply doesn’t view herself as in any way in the wrong, and thus can never change.

when it comes to csa or sa in general i’m extremely cautious as labelling anything as ‘worse’ or ‘better’. such actions are so monstrously inhumane that it’s hard to view them in any way as comparable, especially considering the effect they have on real people. i think that’s a question i would leave up to the audience. all i’ll leave you with is that anne abused alvin while he was younger than ethan, so if age is something you take into account in regards to abuse being ‘worse’ or ‘better’ that might be relevant.

i haven’t decided if anne will have a backstory yet! we’re viewing her solely through alvin’s perspective and she comes across as something not human to him. not *monstrous*, per say but moreso *alien* and *incomprehensible*. that being said she likely does have a ‘sad’ backstory given the themes of the cycle of abuse present in the story.

alvin’s father was your stereotypical stoic sixties-era dad. very emotionally absent and distant.

wendy!! wendy my love wendy my life. she’s simon’s mother and pretty much acts as an adopted parent for ethan after the abuse comes to light. she’s a single mother and excels at it. she does have a bad case of ‘cool mum syndrome’ in that she’s the sort of parent to go ‘okay you can smoke weed but only in the house because i’d rather you do it here than somewhere unsafe’ and have nicknames for all your friends. she’s pretty young and got pregnant when she was nineteen but genuinely loves being a mum even though it’s exhausting.