#im exhausted and rambling i know
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Do you ever do requests? If so, do you ever plan on drawing some Yandere with the Hantengu clones? :D hope you have a good day/night!!!
Mentioning an unfamiliar name
yes!! I love yanderes.. and these guys.. these guys are such good material...... nods nods..
I'm not sure about requests..I assume you mean drawing requests? I suppose if it REALLY catches my interest enough, I'd do it, but it'd probably just be line art/sketches.
#null rot#yandere kny#yandere demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#midori306#YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THE YANDERE QUESTION MY BELOVED CULT MEMBER#uwaa and i recently checked back on their designs.. THEY HAVE LONG SLANTED EARS DUDE WHAT THE FUCKKK THATS LIKE THE CUTEST EVER#i tend to shitpost and focus on the dere than the yan but thats my mistake!! im sorry cult members.. I'll need scarousal#when calling sekdio. he pretends to ignore you but you can tell he heard you when his ear twitches#He's flabbergasted that you met someone else to begin with. who let you go out without one of them?!#hes too shocked and angry to even properly get upset!!#Karaku loves everything you have to say. less so if its positive abt someone else. still listens tho. listening carefully for details..#he doesnt mind others eyeing you. youre perfect in his eyes. who wouldnt? still.. thats not gonna fly well.#Urogi loves when you seek him out but mentioning someone else... is bc you want to feed him right? ofc! you want to benefit him!#its cause hes your favorite! yeah! youre so sweet!!! ofc he'll get rid of someone for you both!!#Aizetsu's bashful. he feels put on the spot when calling him but hes always hoping you give him affection of some kind. always ready for yo#mentioning someone else was NOT what he wanted and now hes sad.. youre making him sad.. whats so important you had to bring that up?#The thought of anyone else makes him feel so exhausted already.. wont you comfort him instead? he needs you now.. atone for your mistakes#uwaa expressions.. uwaaa aizetsu releasing some of the tension in his brows when hes feeling upset towards you uWAA#i CANT RAMBLE ENOUGH IN THE TAGS SO WAIT FOR THE POST I HAVE IN THE BACK BURNER FROM SOMEONE ELSE WHO ASKED FOR SOMETHING SIMILAR!!!!!!!
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i don't know who needs to hear this today but the jedi would not be body-shy
especially during the war. some would be uncomfortable, sure, or even heavily dislike being nude and/or bathing around others, but the point of that is that would be respected as a choice. there is a very large difference between preferring not to be nude around others, for cultural religious or personal reasons, versus being ashamed. nothing you can do can convince me jedi would be ashamed or embarrassed of their or others' bodies.
why. why would the jedi think nudity undignified. why would they turn their noses up at it as unseemly, rather than a choice and preference
#im exhausted alright#wearing layers especially in the more religious way jedi do does not equal SHAME of one's body#some!! species!! dont even!!! wear clothes at all!!!#i dont have the sources to back it up but this is such a western idea specifically a euro- and ameri-centric one#im just so tired of master obi one kenobi COMPLAINING about changing or wearing other clothes than robes in fic#because it's never framed as obi wan being uncomfortable because it's a preference or because it's a cultural/religious thing#it's ALWAYS because hes embarrassed about his body or nudity in general#not being down with nudity for whatever reason does not automatically mean SHAME and it staggers me that people seem to#sincerely think the jedi would enforce or support or legitimise such shame#i know it's probably just authors' implicit or unknown biases but good lord it's exhausting#cj rambles#jedi order#prequel trilogy#pro jedi
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Oh.
Rain being the one to crack open the pomegranate. Being the one to dirty his beautiful hands and stain his nails with its gore.
Tear into it with the same ravenous abandon as a ribcage, tear and split. Let the juice run down his wrists, following the veins beneath to foolishly imitate the blood rushing beneath the skin but nowhere as sweet.
Feed each seed to his lover like a last meal. Every mouthful one step closer to damnation, a sentence he chases the flavor of. The taste of sin he hopes never leaves their maw, goes so far as to taint every word that curls off their tongue.
Rain being the one to introduce the unsullied to an eternity of indulgence. No judge nor jury, just the executioner of innocence.
#do i know what the FUCK im on about? no.#all i know is rain corruption kink go brrrrr#anyways im EXHAUSTED and dont make sense so dont look at me#void rambles#rain ghoul#nameless ghouls
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see I need ghost clothes to have properties more or less like regular clothes because wearing someone else’s jacket or shirt is one of the most important expressions of affection in existence and yes basically what I’m saying is i wanna see charles give edwin his jacket for one reason or another and see edwin get all flustered and giddy about it
#the staple of all my high school romances (all like. two or three of them)#but on a more domestic level too….i love the trope of one partner wearing the other’s ill-fitting t-shirt around the house because#it’s comfy and they like feeling embraced in a way by the perosn they love#grahhhhhh I’m weak and cliche i know i know#but yeah the jacket thing…….im imagining like. something happens that leaves edwin hurt and exhausted on the ground and charles rushes over#to check if he’s okay and to help him up. and in doing so he drapes his signature jacket over edwin’s shoulders#and yeah ghosts can’t get cold. but edwin doesn’t say that out loud because he’s too busy being all 💕😳💕. similarly he forgets about being#hurt and can only think about how charles’ jacket feels on him and how everyone can see this mark of affection on him and. and.#yeah#i remember one of my favorite things about (stealing) wearing my ex crushes and boyfriend’s jackets was feeling like. everyone can see#that I’m his. and he likes me. and that we’re Something. I’m Special to him#which is so teenager of me but I’m gonna be honest i doubt anything’s changed and I’m almost 24#I just haven’t felt like that in a long time. man i miss that feeling#but yeah edwin. being as jealous as he is and as up front about people knowing that charles comes first and they’re ‘Best Friends’ and all#i imagine he’d be the type to be a bit (not negatively) possessive and to love that little assertion of. yes. look. I’m his favorite.#we have something special. he loves me. specifically.#same reason i think he’d ACT annoyed at getting hickeys he can’t totally hide but really would kind of love the feeling of being marked#like that. it’s Evidence. he likes everyone knowing charles is his and vice versa.#I think i broke myself#rambling#payneland#dead boy detectives
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New game interest unlocked
(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)
#ramarl#phantasy star online#long tag warning lol i rambled#so i was introduced to phantasy star online#i think its safe to say i really enjoy the game#thank you mr crow for showing me this game :D i have new creatures to scribble now#there shall be more of these doodles#i promise you that#meant to post this wayyyyy earlier today but uh#my car broke down :') ....again :')#last week it wouldn't turn on and the headlights weren't working so we were like ''ok this is a battery issue and i need a new one''#because jumping the car didnt fix it#so we took my old battery to a shop and they tested its charge before showing us which new one we should get#but the battery had charge???????? so we went back home to troubleshoot#and then found the hooks(?idk what they're called) that connected the battery to the car had something corroded on them#so we grabbed a can of coke and scrubbed away#hooked the battery back up and bam car was working#so the issue was those hooks#until two days ago when my car didnt work again#looked at the battery again and the hooks came loose; tightened them up and bam car working again#and now at this point I'm scared to go anywhere cause what if i get stranded on my own??#so this morning i said ''alright I'm gonna drive myself to church just to be sure that my car works''#AND WOULD YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED#at this point i just wish the damn battery was dead and that i could replace it and move on from this#i know they're a bit pricey but jesus this is exhausting#but i can't just buy a new battery if im not sure that's the actual problem because then I'd have a battery and nothing to do with it#i hate having a car sometimes i just want a bus system#or a jeep#but preferably a bus system#sorry rambles thats a long way of saying i didnt post this earlier because ive been working on my car lol
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@lgbtqcreators event 16 ⇢ raise your flag
#the last of us#tlouedit#ellie williams#userlgbtq#userjoanne#userallisyn#tusernicky#dixonscarol#*#MY FAV LITTLE LESBIAN#me before doing this: i have a genious idea. me while doing it: this is awful. why am i doing this#but whatever its kinda pretty to look at#bringing 2012 style picspams into the tlou fandom like god intended#im rambling bc im exhausted#the 'i know what you are' twilight scene kept playing in my head while making this. say it. out loud. yk
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never have i been so entirely exhausted from sitting in front of a laptop in a dark room for three hours gay! and so full of delight and happiness! like wow! i have not felt this good in ages!! and its a good kind of tired! i feel like im glowing!
but shit, the update is more than i could've dreamed of. like i said - three straight hours of combing, and i probably still missed a thing or two! i'm even saving the storytime audio to enjoy in the morning, i haven't listened to it yet!
i already have so many thoughts and emotions but i'm... so wiped out oh my god lmao. so much new stuff at once! i need to sleep on it all! and in the morning i will be more than happy to reply, interact, answer asks on this subject, share my actual thoughts - i just need to take the rest of the night to Process and rest, yk yk
and i know i "missed" some links on my liveblog! i know i know! i didn't add every single thing i found - like most of the Wally audios - because i'll be compiling them all into a labeled post tomorrow! when i wake up! i'm already looking forward to it <3 i'm confident i personally found all of them, though! i was Thorough! i went through everything at least twice, i tabbed through, i clicked on Everything...
but yes i hope you all are having a wonderful Update Day/Evening/Morning/Afternoon As The Case May Be. this is truly a delight and again, more than i could've dreamed of. i'd forgotten what it's like to be so wholly excited and delighted by something! it's been so long since i've felt this kind of genuine joy and whimsy! usually im white-knuckling my optimism and happiness but tonight it was all authentic 100% non-forced From The Soul!
#a very exciting day of Not Much Happening and then Everything At Once#the constant (joyous) stress over the update and then the intense euphoria of experiencing it....#very very exhausted i have no energy left in me for literally anything#a sleep will fix that though#and ill be back to Chatter and Ramble#absolutely unprompted#scribble salad#i cant believe we're only at the very beginning... there is already So Much!#so much good stuff! incredible stuff! monumental work! i literally cant fathom that this is the Tip of the iceberg! what the fuck!#but thats something to swoon over another day#we have the update!#a plethora of audio clips and new information to chew on!#but yes yes i will make a tumblr post with all of the links#in order! labeled! for your convenience and viewing and reblogging pleasure!#and a different post with my personal thoughts and emotions! i have many!#alright yes stepping away from the laptop now#water. teeth. cats. sleep. yes. totally going to do that.#i already know im gonna lay down get cozy and then my eyes are gonna Fly Open. Wide Awake#perhaps i should take some melatonin lol#i want to be able to wake up in a timely manner Well Rested and ready to compile!!!#a melatonin night it is!#but yes i hope you all are having fun!!!#feel free to shoot me asks and such! i am more than happy to Respond and Discuss!#i will be making my main posts / sharing my thoughts before answering anything tho lol i will say that now#that way i can say my piece#and then if i get any asks about something ive already covered i can just Link the Post!#for ease of all of us <3#but yes goodnight!!!#i cant wait to scribble and talk and AGH!!!#to clown and everyone working on welcome home you guys are the fucking most and its just. its everything
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i am not immune to launchpad sol and albin thoughts
#ramble tag#its so like. okay.#launchpad was when they 'peaked'. best years of their lives#the . i think what we canonically know happened at launchpad was like.#laquidditch (fun!) christmas special adventures (fun!)#and then . also#getting deeply bullied. sol lightly kidnapped to launchpad. lizer. claudius. 'you made us run until we threw up' 'im pretty sure he got off#on torturing kids'. literally what the fuck was their deal#getting stuck in a spiders web ???? for a semester ?????#......??? getting chased down by a vaccum cleaner ..........#'it got a lot darker near the end' ... fun pretend child endangerment#like . man.#not to sound CRAZY or anything. does anyone get the impression launchpad was like. a bad ? time ? for them ?? like. it just straight up. bad#by god does it rlly sound to me like#the feeling of when high school was so bad it made ur life a living hell to be in. and u were truly just. surviving#but then youd b goofing off w ur friends in a little dorm. and the stress and the exhaustion seems to color everything that isnt that.#in a beautiful hazy rosy golden film#it hurt but the hurt was monotonous and dull. so all u remember were those shining bright in betweens#sol and albie sneaking into the kitchen and enchanting the self moving cookingware and just seeing what happens#and watching mothership approved saturday morning cartoons in bed#and studying together late at night n sol tucks albin in after hes crashed from hiss allnighter#and passing notes in class#and all that free time over crittermas breaks to do stupid dares and long rambling conversations abt nothing#sol knits albie his first sweater#they have their first beer together#they come back after a really bad day for the both of them and lie on the floor and talk abt anything but that#albin practices spells on sol and its not a good or safe idea but its probably fine#albin pettily bitching about his assigned partner for an arcana class project and sol blindly tsking his side always#only wizards can check out library books and albie checks out all sols books for him#...... anyway
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struggling again with extreme artblock and general demotivation (as in nothing seems fun or appealing and you sit around staring at nothing doing nothing bc apparently no matter what i do whether drawing or not drawing i end up like this now)
i started to watch skitties totk video (again) and wrote a big post about how much i hate how the gorons are treated there but saved it as a draft like i have been doing with several rants now in order to not spam people with it over and over
but it does end up feeling like talking to a wall and just kinda .. increasing this looming feeling of extreme loneliness i have been fighting with for .... since i left school really..
#ganondoodles talks#personal#i know i know this is my own doing#i never go out and have enormous trouble keeping in contact with people or answering messages#i never ever mean it mean#it feels like my battery is never above 10% charged no matter what i do#and answering messages often takes too much#which just makes this whole problem worse#its like a spiral making everything worse and idk how to fight it#maybe meds would help me#but if i have trouble even answering an ask i cant try to start the process of getting diagnosed with whatever hundreds of things-#-that are wrong with me#also being afraid of being put under surveillance or something for it doesnt help either#also fearing wrong meds doing wrong things bc i am weird#also afraid of not taking any meds bc that can reduce your lifespan if you are weird like me or something#which ........................... adds dread and guilt and doesnt help either#sometimes i wonder how i am evn still alive#the only reasons why are probably -luck- and being too much of a coward to end it all back when i was at the worst point of my life#bc i am not strong or resilient and getting through the worst .. so far .. hasnt made me stronger- just weaker and more pathetic#idk why im rambling all this in the tags- it must be exhausting to read .. i know it is#ill just go back to staring at a wall
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Hm.
#kiwi rambles#vent#i dont know man#im exhausted#but I really dont want to sleep#i do get to sleeo in tomorrow ag least…..
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I love how you can purposely cater you internet experience to block most politics so you can mentally detox since your media consumption was becoming unhealthy, and still have a whole week of attempting to regain your hope in humanity become completely undone by wanting to eat lunch with your mom (ramble in tags, feel free to ignore; take care of yourselves first <3)
#politics#us politics#tags so people can block this post#it's just so cool and awesome that things work like that#i was genuinely doing so much better#i was engaging with news in a healthier way#i was fixing my focus on what to do moving forward#but then i had the audacity to want to eat lunch with my mother instead of holing up in my room#she turned on fox news and i tuned it out... talking about stuff with them always turns into debates and its mentality exhausting#so i generally just keep my mouth shut unless asked#but then she started commenting on the news out loud#and so being a personable person i did my best to respond#they were talking about mass deportation of ''illegal criminals'' and she asked out loud why they havent sent them away already#so i said “oh well its expensive and there's not always places that are willing to take them”... left my opinion on the sentiment out of it#that was the WRONG thing to say apparently#devolved into a debate where she ultimately said “ok but it was a rhetorical question and i didnt actually want an answer”#how was i supposed to know that????? im the only person in the room??? thats not what rhetorical questions are used for??????#so we moved on from the topic#she said something along the lines of “pff and people come in illegally and still want to seek asylum”#so again i speak up#told her (with a quick google search to back it up) that people can either apply for asylum at the border or after entering illegally#as long as its within a year of entering#that was ALSO THE WRONG THING TO SAY#she reiterated that she still wasn't asking and added “im just watching the news; i dont want to google anything”#and im like...#...one; she mentioned in her “thinking out loud” rambles that she's aware that i dont like to talk about this stuff with her#but that this stuff is important to talk about... which i took as a “why won't you talk with me?”#so ouch#but also... whY ARE YOU WATCHING THE NEWS IF YOU DON'T CARE TO VERIFY ANY OF IT#im out of tags to ramble in but I'm still so hurt and mad and i have been reminded how little people care about compassion and factuality
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I need more tired bear posts.
#im fucking exhausted TVT#idek know why?????#like- today was actually pretty alr???#we went 2 the fair but my mom ended up getting heat exaughtion som only went on 3 rides total#nd then ended up makijg her actually take a break and we needed to go#which. disappointing tbh bcs i was having fun bit also prob for the best#anyways not im fucking Exasted for. no reason??? TvT#its probably hst being around so many ppl tbh but i am. tireddddd#enea rambles <3#also unrelated totally but parents pls ffs know how to take care of urself so ur kid doesnt have to constantly try and do it for you??#lol-
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if i wasnt for my mutuals i think all of my events would have flopped
#auburn's rambles <3#gahhh its so dumb but like#events are my way of trying to connect w the twst fandom#and i have been so desperate for any sense of community here lately#i feel like im just screaming into the void#and i dont know why it feels like nobody new bothers talking to me anymore#i think its because people are scared of me but i wish they werent#ive tried my best to seem approachable and i tell people over and over that they can talk to me#but nobody does#ever since 1.8k really#its just been my mutuals talking to me and nobody else#and i love my mutuals but i want to have what i had when i first got here#i dont know if this is a twst Fandom problem or if its just me but#its like theres nobody here anymore and its not the same#im so tired of people being intimidated by me#im literally just like you i am just like ALL of you#its exhausting honestly.
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roleplay sounds like so much fun.. i haven't roleplayed since i was like 10 or something 😭 i miss those days
a bullet train roleplay would be so so much fun too omfgggg ughhhh 😞 i just dk where and how to start again LOL
#rambling#bullet train#roleplay#ignore these tags please i beg of you#weeheodheidos#im so exhausted#no seriously if any of yall know any way i can try rping again#that would be so cool#please let me know!!!
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that feeling when you get advice from someone who you know is well-meaning and has good intentions....but it's just the most allistic, neurotypical, and/or abled advice you have ever heard and completely invalidates the point you're trying to make about why you struggle to do the thing in the first place.
they're telling you to "do it in this specific way that is completely opposite of how you physically/mentally work" for example, make eye contact/read people's facial expressions and intentions! but you're autistic. initiate verbal conversation and don't be shy! but you're nonverbal or semispeaking. get out of the house more and participate in these physical activities! but you're physically disabled. Just Be Yourself! but you have DID/OSDD/other personality disorder. etc.
i'm sorry. I know you're just trying to help. I appreciate it, really. but it's all things i've heard before and none of it helps me specifically. I have tried (maybe even still try out of habit) and learned I can't just do those things. they don't work for me or cause more issues. practice isn't the issue. not everyone can simply willpower through everything. but thanks for trying 😔✊️
#autistic#autism things#autism#actually autistic#adhd#audhd#neurodivergent#disablity#disabled#too tired to tag other thinhs sorry thats all you get#lee rambles#that feeling when you also just have to pretend to accept their advice and move on because people get so upset when you dont take it#i lesrned if i tell people their advice doesnt suit me and my unique circumstances then they feel bad that they didnt help#they want you to do it anyway. even if you cant. pretend you do or say thanks and move on. but it gets annoying hearinf the same stuff#over and over. more expectations on you. more pressure to do things in ways everyone else can but you cannot...#when will the advice be lee shaped? when will it be just for lee and consider all my circumstances?#why is telling the person giving advice their advice wont work fkr me bad? why cant they change their advice to fit the issues i face?#when im asked for advice and someone hits a deadend while working it out i try to help solve that so they can find a way around#but everyone else expects me to grow a bulldozer out of my head and ram the wall down instead of helping me work around it#i crush their fragile ego by saying their advice doesnt work and they get upset instead of adjusting it to help solve the specific problem#its exhausting because they become one of the many problems i have to deal with then 😒#no im not “making excuses/dismissing you/not trying” im trying. your advice sucks try again. and my problems are valid!!!!!! accept it!!!!#anyway. genuinely appreciate people wanting/trying to help but sometimes its such inappropriate advice i dont know how to respond
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So uh
Im still a lot less active rn because i just dont feel so great but whenever i do draw something i will keep posting it because it doesnt take too much energy. Ill just probably interact less?
And that is frustrating because i do wanna interact with all of you and i do wanna answer so many asks i have gotten and i do wanna reblog a lot of others art with a buttload of tags to say how cool what they make is but it is just too much rn.
So yea im not as active until i slowly feel better again and also yay hanahaki comic later today (im gonna warn you i have a very loose grasp on hanahaki)
#i ramble#i know i shouldnt feel bad but i do kinda because i want in on all the fun yall are having out here but im just too mentally exhausted to#well just imagine me as some little rat like creature living in the thorny blackberry bushes#hiding rn because im scared of all the humans walking by outside#and sometimes i come out to put the art out there and immidiatly go back into hiding#will try to talk to you though if you come to my dms im just not gonna be as energetic ... and im not that energetic in the first place so#i keep overwhelming myself by thinking i should reblogg all the art others are making and then i reblog non of it and feel bad about it#sometimes im just a little dumb like that
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