#im excited for people to read it
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finally hit 100 pages of my wwy doc! chapter 8 is pretty much done i just need to edit now, should be out in the next hour or so
#aiming for before 1am#which is exactly 2 hours from now for me#finishing by midnight or around then would be great#bc sleeping is good#but it is what it is#i actually really love this chapter#im excited for people to read it
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part 1 of a little comic / art sequence that i've been working on! :D it's part tribute, part experimenting with brushes n colors and trying new thingz :]
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ... |
and thus continues my endless quest of spreading the carrot fics like a plague! if you've seen my art floating around you probs already figured that this au holds a very special place in my heart, forever and always!!
if you haven't heard of it, it's a fic series by @crowned-ladybug called carrot soup!! it made me wish i could speak colors and i need more people to share my struggle xd
go check it out if you're into sweet voice lore and qpr level gayness and just wanna feel warm and soft and warm (hurt/comfort my beloved) <333 there are some heavier themes cos everyone's traumatized but they're working through it! be sure to check the tags and stay safe! <3
#hlvrai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#frenrey#carrots au#<- gotta remember to tag the other ones as well#yippie im so excited to finally start sharing these with people!!!#there will be at least 5 parts in total maybe more idk#i just wanted to illustrate this little snippet of the first fic#maybe i'll draw more of these if i get another vision#i am still trying to work on the animatic so that would probs include most of my visions anyway#i think im gonna post a wip sometime soon just in case i lose interest#also i crave validation and reading people's tags and comments makes me so so so happy!!!><#btw it kinda feels nice posting something like. after a while#cos it's been quite a bit since i finished this first.. part? page? thingy#and it's nice to finally stay out of the whole instant gratification thing#please do still go crazy in the tags tho? if u want?#mkay enough rambling for today i've got things to do#like be cozy n read fanfics n drink water n stuff yk?#all the important thingz#and who knows maybe i'll even make some progress on.. whatever it is that piques my interest today#bye for now!!! take care and have a very orange day <3#art tag or whatever
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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i said it over on twitter but i‘ll say it here too! it‘s crazy to me that not even smth as little as a bit of banter about meljay can stay exclusively about meljay w/o being co-opted by jayvik or meljayvik at some point? like imagine i‘d go to a jayvik screencap tweet and comment "aww that‘s how he looks at mel"… that would get me ripped to shreds.. like the times i had comments or tags on a meljay post trying to swap her out??? wdym you‘re (figuratively speaking) swapping mel out on the mel post?? at this point if they actually do the pregnancy plot i‘m just gonna call it now and say general fanon will be vik raising mels child while she runs off to be evil woman™
#kds.txt#arcane#meljay#onlymeljay#sorry for ranting but i feel like#no fandom has made it its goal to completely erase the woman that is right there in the picture#and replace it w smth else#im talkinh quite literally about the little spoon screenshot#but honestly that sentence works in a wider general sense too#idk man its just exhausting when youre excited to look a little and read a little about the ship you like#only for people to use it as an opportunity to make it about smth else instead#maybe engaging w fandom was a mistake asdgjhsfk
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I would never delete my fics
I got linked to a reddit thread today where people were being advised to download my mortifying ordeals/Buddie fics, since apparently "now that I'm a BuckTommy shipper", I might be "petty" and delete all my Buddie fics.
So. I'll move past the complicated feelings it gives me to have people hoarding my fics while actively shitting on me as a person (and seemingly not even telling me that they enjoyed my work, although in fairness that could just be a difference in usernames.) That's the nature of fanfic, fandom, and putting things out there on the internet and I accept that.
But I do want to reassure people that I would never delete my fics. I still have the cringy-as-fuck Harry Potter fics I wrote in high school up; believe me those would be first on the chopping block if I was inclined to delete my work. And all of my 9-1-1 fics hold a special place in my heart, but none more than the mortifying ordeals series, which consumed basically a full year of my life and reminded me why I love writing. Hell, I got engaged while writing the final chapters of I once was lost. That fic is indelibly tied to my life now.
And look... I don't think it really matters, nor should I have to explain and justify what I do and don't enjoy about a show or fandom, but this whole experience has upset me more than it probably should have and I can't help but want to get it off my chest anyway.
My favourite thing about this show is the found family feels. I either love or am at least intrigued by every single character that has appeared. You'll notice that family is the central theme of every story I write, whether the story is Gen, Buddie, or BuckTommy.
Because yes, the idea of BuckTommy and how that plays into the family themes of the show has intrigued me and captured my muse.
I've also said before that I didn't think Season 7 left Buddie in a great place in terms of romantic relationship potential - in my opinion, the ghost of Shannon would be an absolutely massive barrier to them getting together right now. The post season 7 Buddie fics have also heavily featured character bashing, which isn't something I generally enjoy seeing, and infidelity, which I really don't like seeing romanticised especially since I've had a partner cheat on me.
So yes, I've distanced myself from the post-S7 Buddie fandom because I just don't enjoy the pervasive negativity I've seen and the way that cheating and violence is suddenly celebrated by a significant subset of the fandom.
That does not mean I've given up on Buddie altogether. I still have a whole list of pre-S7 buddie fics in my to-be-read list that I've been making my way through and 2 out of my 5 WIPs are Buddie fics (both in the mortifying ordeals 'verse, just to make it even clearer that I'm not at all interested in deleting that series.)
But two of those 5 are BuckTommy, because as I said above, their relationship was intriguing to me and it captured my muse.
I don't think those opinions make me some kind of betrayer, or that they inherently make me a "petty" person but I guess I just didn't realise that not-exclusively-shipping-Buddie was such a High Crime in this fandom.
#9-1-1#fandom discourse#writing#buddie#bucktommy#this is my first experience being this heavily embroiled in fandom drama#i cant say i like it#that thread legitimately made me so sad to read#i was so excited to work on the Daniel ghost fic and maybe start posting this weekend#and now i just feel so fucking flat#maybe ill delete this#or at least part of it because i do want people that they dont need to worry about losing my fics#im so immensely grateful to my readers I would never want to take away something that brought them joy#even if they apparently think im a terrible person#this got rambly#sorry
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Sorry for kind of insulting you through a children’s book i wrote i hope were still besties
#angry pareos so funny drew like a fucked up and evil version of pareo…. something some thing#finished eveyr ras event besides rhe reitae one on enbandori…. ohhheuheheuheuhruhr#i need to up my roselia rank to read it im so excited. i hope it destroys me#art tag#bandori#masuki satou#reona nyubara#pareo#tagging reona feels os weird like….. thats a different girl#pareos the only member where her band name and actual name feel like two super distinct people#ig chu2 too purely bc shes barely ever called chiyu#rokka kinda but you cant just take off your glasses and let your hair out and be a different person. pareos like an extreme version of that#omg rokka and reona both wear glasses but take them off on stage….. ok enough byebye
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that little farm where every wish comes true by HangmanBradshaw
“You’re unbe-leaf-able.” “You’re a sap.” “And you look radish-ing.”
#Happy belated birthday to Steph!!!!!#please take this small offering for all the joy laughs and tears (happy) youve brought this year#all your stories are so special but this one is one of a kind. if anything it makes me fall in love with christmas <3#Im excited to see what other beautiful creations you come up with that will bring you joy too <3#to everyone else do NOT talk to me about the last gif. be gentle i havent done this in years <3 ily all#ilysm#that gif it is the bane of my existence but it the one where im 100% like bradleys in love with this asshole.#wait till i have that other one done so yall can see that hes there smitten with him. i also smile at people i hate like this.#HangmanBradshaw#Hangster#top gun: maverick#mine#if you havent read this PLEASE DO. its 500 times better than any hallmark movie ive watched. and ive watched too many#links in the handle :D
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finally catching up with some preshows i haven’t been keeping up with them there’s just so much going on but they’re so FUNNN ig we don’t need to have a discussion on like. every single little thing they bring up but I love hearing the little bits like what snacks they’re having in America and remembering that they actually play Mario kart on the tour bus and do fun little activities in between and I can’t remember if they’ve told us about this before but the image of like early 20s Dan being genuinely peeved at the bbc asking them to make a music video that they just made some fuckass thing in their pjs is so funny to me
#also I am 100% behind the theory that they just read who’s taking care of the plants when they don’t want to answer a question#and dan goes fuck and phil goes the pheal :)#and that’s perfectly valid#hashtag boundaries but there’s just no way people are still asking that#dnp#dan and phil#phan#tit tour#tit preshow#randomthots#I keep forgetting I have a silver ticket im so excited to experience a preshow :3
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i gotta say it i gotta
i don't understand the predilection of bkdk fics to put Izuku in a crop top/other effeminate clothing when the guy in canon practically lives in stupid tshirts and jeans or cargo shorts
#bkdk#i cant tell if it's heteronormativity (making him femme when hes Designated Bottom)or mistaking his emotional personality for not being mas#or maybe it's people just projecting their own fashion taste onto him not Rly caring how ic it is and im looking too deep into it LMAOOOOO#when i read one and it invents an outfit for him hed totally wear I get excited. i love when ppl give him new stupid tshirts
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hi everyone <3
I have a bit of a life update. To make a long story short, last week I was diagnosed with PTSD. I have been having a... very hard time coming to terms with that. For most of my life I believed I just had a bad anxiety disorder, but I am now realizing that is unfortunately not the case. The past couple months I have been in a near constant state of fight or flight, fear, panic, whatever you want to call it- without really realizing it. and man. it has been exhausting, mentally, physically, spiritually. I just thought it was normal to feel like this all the time. i assumed everyone felt like this. my therapist has helped me realize I am in a lot of pain right now and it is not normal. so. the good news is that there is an intensive trauma therapy that I will be doing for the next couple months that is going to really help me recover. i love and trust my therapist with my whole heart. there is a light at the end of the tunnel. i am finally getting the help i need. so. unfortunately I am going to step away from tumblr for a bit. i dont really want to do this, i love being on here. i love interacting with all the friends i've made here. kink has become a very important and healing part of my life. but it is just a little too much for me at the moment. I'm not sure when I will return, could be a couple weeks, a couple months. I'll return when I feel right. I feel like this may be a little odd to share here, but it's important to me to acknowledge and share that I have been having a really hard time. i tend to downplay when i'm in pain. i feel like people usually don't care about me (i know this is very very much not the case. im trying to convince my brain of that too.) its really hard for me to tell people when i am struggling, especially in my real life. so i am taking baby steps and starting here. so, until I return- chase your tails for me, roll in the grass, bark at the squirrels. take care of yourselves. if you are struggling, know youre loved. get the help you need. i will be curling up in my dog bed and taking a nap in the sun. ruff ruff. wag wag. much love to all of you.
#agh personal posts. i know this is mainly a dogboy kink blog and some people will not care. but this is my blog and i will share what i want#i am safe and okay. i am just.. struggling to accept that i am very very sick right now. i was raised to just push that shit way down.#im done doing that. i am going to have to feel all the pain to heal it. nervous but excited. ready but hesitant.#anyways. hi. i love what this blog has done for me. for what this community has done for me. i will be back. you cant get rid of me!#will be keeping an eye out for messages for the next couple days. but this post is mainly to give myself permission to take a step back.#its weird. i feel obligated to post here and am feeling guilty for putting myself first. but thats the trauma i guess!#anyways anyways anyways. if youve read all of this i love you. thank you for listening. see you soon.#jasperbarks
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henren are still together but most of their plots are about their kids or issues in their marriage. They did have the set up for an interesting plot involving a corrupt public official in season 8 but the show resolved it in a single episode. There problem is there's one other gay man on the show, Josh, but he doesn't get relationships or even much focus outside of his work so Tommy being written out is pretty much the death of rep for gay men who started the show because of bucktommy and because they saw themselves in Tommy.
Idk this is kind of weird to me, I’m a black nonbinary bisexual person, and there’s not a single black nonbinary bi person in the show (as far as I know idk again I’m only on the beginning of season 2). And I’m really happy with the queer representation on 9-1-1 for the most part? Even w/ the henren cheating arc (ugh) and even though I can’t 100% relate to any of the queer experiences on the show, a show having a main couple that’s unapologetically black and Lesbian, is still representation for the community and the loss of 1 gay white man doesn’t mean that we’re losing representation in my opinion.
Though again, I haven’t met Tommy yet so idk, maybe he’s way better written than Hen or Karen. Also, I feel like all of the couples on the show have had marriage or kid issues? Maybe that’s all HenRen becomes, but if that’s the case, why are people less angry about that than Tommy leaving? If 9-1-1 is fumbling this badly with like the only black lesbian couple as main characters representation on network tv, that’s kind of a big deal.
Idk I was just kinda side eyeing some of the comments I saw like this, it feels like people are saying that Tommy is more important and better representation than HenRen and it’s making all my fandom racism alarms go off, like again, maybe they totally fumble HenRen and Tommy is like a beautifully written gay character the likes of which we’ve never seen before, but the things people have been saying have been WEIRD!
Also I just met Josh! Does he really never get a boyfriend??? UGH! And I know Athena’s mean gay husband doesn’t show up in later seasons bc the actors anti mask allegedly too, so I do kinda understand the frustration! It’s just like, still weird. But when I get to season 8 in 2045 I’ll do like a whole fun analysis thing with bucktommy in mind.
#this is the last I’ll pay attention to this until I get into the later seasons because I feel like I’m missing so much context#is Tommy Kinard really that good#damn#and are Hen and Karen really that bad#DAMN😭#I was promised that they’d get better after the cheating arc#don’t do this to me please#sorry if it seems like im not taking this seriously#it’s just because I’m not#I want to understand why you guys feel the way you do so bad tho#and reading weeks coming up so I’m gonna lock in#maybe I’ll hop on the#bucktommy#train and grieve with you divas#but if henren gets as bad as you’re saying I’ll stop watching the show#like I love black people tf#but I think people are over exaggerating a bit for fandom racism reasons#or at least they better be#I’m not watching 8 seasons of a black lesbian couple hating each other#ok bye 9-1-1 nation#this is my first fandom ask you know!!#very exciting#9 1 1 tv#henren#how many tags can I actually add before they make me stop#oh I also don’t like henren being kinda framed as oppositional to bucktommy#it’s weirddd
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That one booktok woman who sexually harassed a hockey team is currently making bank by doing a shit ton of promotion for the Harry Potter franchise and she's constantly going on about her account being a place of positivity and joy and how posting tiktoks about this series has made her dreams come true 😊. And every time people plead with her to stop supporting Miss Joanne, she lashes out at their audacity to tell HER what to do with HER money and starts going off about miserable haters who want to steal her good vibes.
JUST IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING WHAT SHES DOING RIGHT NOW
#i remember seeing a reel of her talking about how excited to go to pride and party with the gays#shes a straight woman but yknow whatever. thats not really the reason I would say she should not be at pride#shes taking a very neutral stance on the whole. Miss Joanne thing#she constantly praises her while reading the books#but refuses to talk about The Thing. and gets mad if people in the comments bring up The Thing#im pretty sure shes playing ignorant because acknowledging Joanne's reputation would alienate her HP loving fanbase#and girl is making bank so shes not gonna do that#just genuinely terrible person overall
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Matched with someone with ‘ofos femme 4 butch’ in her tinder bio like eleven days ago and she messaged me right after we matched but I didn’t have the app downloaded at the time so I didn’t see it for like four days, and I messaged her immediately when I saw it but she hasn’t replied and it’s been like a week 😭 needless to say she’s living rent free in my mind
#and like her message was ‘hi!! i cant believe i havent seen u on here before - r u new to the area/dating apps?’#so i was excited. there’s definitely a chance she’s since deleted the app or just hasn’t opened it or something#finding people who identify as femme where i live is so hard. i have stone butch in my bio on tinder im fishing so hard#i did that dumb thing where you can pay like $3 to get read receipts turned on for a specific person#wanted to know if she was ignoring me or if she just hadn’t opened the app#but she has read recepits disabled#i did get a refund for that buts it’s only $3. the micro transactions on that app are deranged though#like this feels really silly but it’d be nice if it worked out#im also currently between jobs so i have too much free time to let this stew in my brain#I’ll give it another week. i could probably find her instagram if i really tried#would love to hear if i sound insane to other people
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#my style exploding when i have to stylize unstylized people#it didnt work#gordon freeman#ive never played the games before and i just started half life 2 cuz it was free#i know my dad has played at least half life. i know cuz he wanted to play with me but i wanted to play with barbies. i was a baby#so i was like ooooh my dad is gonna be stoked if i secretly download half life 2 on his computer#i check to see and he has all the achievements on steam. oh.#so then i roped my brother into it. hes really excited because--get this-- none of his friends know this game so he can flex#hes gonna flex hes more cultured than them#same mf that came up to me like oh my friend is reading this super old manga. you wouldnt know about it. its called berserk.#anyways so i offer ye a shitty sketch#rn im on 'we dont go to ravenholm' and im so confused wasnt dog supposed to come with us?#edit WHAT WHY AM I STILL IN RAVENHOLM???? THE PRIEST LET ME OUT AND THERES STILL ZOMBIES????#LET ME GO!!! LET ME OUT
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oh to be the person Umemiya Hajime meets and falls for as he’s traveling after graduation
#mari says#meeting this guy who’s also traveling alone but he’d got too many green flags for you to stay away altogether#and he just naturally gets along with most people so he helps you when you’re having trouble with reservations for your hotel#gives you his number in case you get lost#ive been thinking about it#would he be the type to somehow end up with a dog as he’s traveling? I think so#comes back to makochi with a partner and a dog like nothing#can u imagine you meet a guy and go visit his hometown and literally EVERYONE knows him?#he’s just so casual abt it too like thats normal#its been on my mind OH I WANT TO WRITE RIGHT NOW BUT IHAVE LIKE 5 UMEMIYA WIPS THAT I SHOULDNT EVEN BE WRITING#EM YOU’RE READING THIS RIGHT?!?#THE SONG EYES ON YOU I MADE YOU LISTEN TO THE OTHER DAY#I CAN WORK WITH THAT#SORRY IM EXCITED#gotta be cool ok#maybe its rox’s fault for writing such a good ume thing#made me fall in love all over again grrr
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BRO THEY LITERALLY DID IT AGAIN
I was talking this morning about how the og Titans were so off balance that they had to keep removing Donna and Wally from the narrative just to make it work because those two were WAY too overpowered for the typical Titan mission.
And do you wanna know what they did in today's Nightwing? Huh? Do ya? They, you guessed it, removed Wally and Donna from the narrative. But that's not all folks! Nope! Starfire got removed as well!
Honestly, I'm surprised Raven managed to still be in this thing. Cause it'd go Wally, Raven, Kori, Donna in terms of firepower.
Man... They weren't even clever about it. Wally was gone the entire issue with no explanation. He checked the perimeter of a jail once. That was it.
Donna and Kori got relegated to babysitting duty while the other Titans (sans Wally for no explainable reason) did the actual plot and went on a Heist in Hell.
This is concerning because this man is writing the new Titans series. The og series suffered because Donna and Wally were on a different level and the writers didn't know how to compensate for that so they kept knocking them out at the start of every issue. And now the same thing is happening.
Taylor doesn't know how to power balance. The best Justice League runs deal with assorted power levels by having different roles for the heroes to play. Ollie isn't on the front lines fighting General Zod with Clark and Diana. Hal doesn't tag along on stealth missions with Dinah and Bruce. Different heroes have different power levels and different abilities. Narratively, you have to juggle that.
And it's hard! I get that. It isn't easy. But I'm going to be honest, if a writer can't power balance then I don't want them writing the Titans series.
Because having half the cast drop out of the plot for no reason other than 'they would solve the plot too fast' is not good writing.
And I'm sorry. I'm going to say it. It's because Taylor is power scaling everything back for Nightwing. It doesn't take the entire goddamn Titans team to take out Blockbuster or to take out a single shape shifter. For some reason Taylor has this fascination with Grayson being the best and smartest Titan who can be the only one who solves issues, so every bad guy is difficult but doable for Nightwing to defeat.
It's incredibly annoying and it makes Nightwing seem super unlikable which is... I'm flabbergasted at that because it's Nightwing. How the hell do you make him unlikable?? But this is it. I've found it. This is the limit . Mary Sue Nightwing has no place in my heart.
#im ranting im sorry. i got out of an exam and was so excited to read the comics and i got this#what the goddamn fuck is this#this is our next titans writer??? this is supposed to get us excited for the new titans series???#this is just 'Dick is super cool and solves every problem and is the smartest and everyone likes him also his friends are there'#AND HIS FRIENDS AREN'T EVEN THERE HALF THE TIME#IM SO MAD ABOUT THIS. THIS IS NOT A GODDAMN TITANS PREQUEL. THIS IS THE TITANS BEING ABSOLUTELY INCOMPETENT AND HAVING NO CHARACTER#dc#dc comics#AGSHDJSKABDHDJENEHS#im too mad to tag people
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