#Im excited to see what other beautiful creations you come up with that will bring you joy too <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[whistler-king]

that little farm where every wish comes true by HangmanBradshaw

“You’re unbe-leaf-able.” “You’re a sap.” “And you look radish-ing.”

[sopebubbles]

omg ur reply got me all giggly & jumping up n' down on my seat!!

TNX U SM!!

tnx u 4 takin' your time to reply & esp to talk more abt the inner voices of y/n & explain all the details,differences & origins of them!!🥰🥰🥰

& now that ik it's a thing,i'm super excited to see how u will write the development of her voices & how her relationship w/ her inner child will change & what is going to be the catalyst of that shift in her!!

also how the voice in bold,the one that comes from having to internalise bigotry to learn her way around it in order to keep herself safe as much as possible,the one that "tells her not to do things that she needs but knows will get her in trouble, like nesting" that she needed up untill now to kinda protect herself in her specific toxic environment, i look forward to seeing how it will change from smth that she needs & depends on 4 her safety,to smth that she slowly learns to leave behind bc is actually holding her back from actually healing & finally being truly safe & happy

dw,i'll wait till the end of times to get to the point in the story where we get to see more of tae's sad past & jin's development & all the beautiful creative things u have /will have in store 4 us,at your own pace & w/ your own timing ofc!!🤗

i absolutely love hobi w/ all my might, but if he doesn't realise he needs to change some things in his dynamic w/ jin as to not indulge jin in feeling like his care & love 4 hobi justify any reaction & treatement he may have towards others,i'm gonna do it myself & put that alpha in a corner to reflect abt what he's doin'💀👉🚪

"Thats exactly what this story is about! Its bts so i feel like they’re perfect for a Love Yourself journey!" BTS fits perfectly this concept ofc,but it's the mastery of your execution & how well your able to mold a whole universe around it that is selling this story!! this concept already wrks nice bc it's bts, but the story is so succesfully immersive & captavating tnx to nothing but your own writng ability & how your mind wrks & then is able to put that down on a keyboard,to create such an amazing story!

the amount of thinking,details, parallelism, sensitive & intersectional topics treated very well & included smoothly into the plot & depth given to each character & their interactions is at the base of this story & it's a constant in your writing, which i'm sure i couldn't even catch all of it(srry 4 that😭) is what makes reading your wrk so mesmerising, like actually seeing the lives of the characters unfold & being a part of how they progress! it puts me in a position in which i can't help but be impressed by your talent & be passionate abt your creation & process behind it!!🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

ps. i didn't bring him up cause i didn't want to turn half of my ask in me screaming abt how u wrote him!! cause i'm definitely madly in love enough as it is but u took it to a whole 'nother level.🤣

pps. saving ch 7 as a lil' treat 4 later^^

take care of your precious self & i hope you'r doing well!!💜💜💜😊

This ask just made me a blushing mess. Idek how to respond but i really appreciate you saying such nice things about my work 🥺 Im just so happy that it engages you and makes you think deeply about it. I honestly couldn't ask for more. And just thank you so much for generously sharing your thoughts with me.

You've really made my day and i hope you have a great one as well you beautiful human. 💕💕💕

[kaijurakunsobs]

ok so, i don't really know how this works but i'll try

can i request something where the reader is an artist and sketches and paints a lot and Heisenberg finds their sketchbook and finds a ton of drawings and he finds one of him, he's just working in the factory or summ and how he would react

im sorry if there's any confusion im still sorta new to this lol, thanks💗💗💗

>:000 I love this!

this gonna be what I call a marshmallow fic, small but packed with sweetness

There are days when he can see you sitting outside, a sketchbook in your hand and eyes fixated on something only you can see, quickly breathing life into whatever you are drawing. The concentration in your expression and your carbon-covered fingers look beautiful, it makes him think of how you have commented on the way his brows furrow in deep thought when working on a new design, his grease-covered hands, the passion you both share for your craft is something he loves.

Slowly but surely his living area begins to get adorned with paintings done by you, bringing color to the barren walls, it makes him smile and wish he could hang some of your in other areas of the factory, but he knows the heat and mess that the place won't mix well with such beautiful creations.

He wishes you two could escape sooner, that way he will be able to see the places that he has seen in your sketchbook, you look excited when telling him of each picture, happily pointing at each one.

Heisenberg has never been one to go through your belongings, but he's one curious man too, and seeing your sketchbook on the kitchen table without you around? it's too much of a great opportunity. Karl as seen you press the book to your chest and mutter about the piece not being finished yet.

He shouldn't do it...but he's just intrigued.

Looking around, he picks up the sketchbook and starts flipping through it.

He sees the castle and meticulous depictions of the architecture, the detail is subtle but amazing, there's a handful of pieces that show Dimitrescu and her daughters making an array of expressions, even with your artistic touch Alcina is unbearable to look at.

He sees Donna in other pages, small notes scribbled on the corner of the pages, reminders to make her face a bit less symmetric, one page is just Angie dancing and wearing different outfits. In the Beneviento house, it seems you had an special interest in the kitchen area, where dried herbs are hanging from a string and the simple fireplace, he shudders when he notices all the dolls in some of the pictures.

Then there are many scenes depicting the factory or the zones where you are allowed to be in, you have one of the Duke laughing, the rings on his fingers and finally...one where Heisenberg is speaking with the merchant, his back is turned but is easy to tell it's him. Now, he wasn't expecting that.

The more he looks through the pages, the more sketches and complete pieces he finds of him. Heisenberg working on a blueprint, drinking coffee, tying up his hair, fanning himself with his hand, there are so many poses and situations, that he questions himself how lost he was that you were able to sketch him. His favorite is one where he's standing at the edge of his property, a handful of lycans can be seen roaming in the forest, it's beautiful.

He's quick to close the sketchbook, flustered and a bit flattered by how much attention you have placed on capturing his personality through your art. For a second he re-opens the book and sees himself lighting up a cigar.

Is this how you see him?

When he sees himself in the mirror he can't stand looking for far too long, disgusted with his scars and the reminder of his true nature. But you make him look handsome, soft, and even human...

Later when you come back, face covered in small streaks of paint and looking pleased, you start talking about how Moreau was happy that you have chosen him as your next model, happily showing him the beginnings of a portrait for Sal.

But he's not listening, his hands bring you close to him and kisses you tenderly, even when the kiss is broken he rests his forehead against yours.

"Thank you" comes out as a whisper but you can hear every bit of emotion behind it.

"What? what for?"

He considers telling you that he saw your sketchbook but decides against it, shrugging and keeping you close, if he could tell you, he would thank you for seeing HIM and not Lord Heisenberg.

[tomdiddlyumptious]

T.H| Thottery

Summary: your doing pottery

Warnings: i guess sexual tension? AND YOUR A WITCHHH- AND A PLANT MOMMY- AND SOULMATES

A/n: its all i could think of when i saw tom in that tank top- and

It was another day in the shop, silence filling the room as you walked around to see the stuff you and tom made, the small store cozy, mostly green and beige everywhere to get a warm mood going.

The room smelled like roses, an incense in your hand as you took your time, slightly bobbing your head to nirvana in the background.

The bell rung letting you know someone was here, you poked your head from the shelves and looked at the door, seeing tom struggle with donuts in his dominant hand while the coffee stood in the other.

“Youre late!” You smiled and he groaned, thanking you when you made your way over to grab the donuts. “Im not late- your just early” he said, watching as you took a donut out and bit into it.

You and tom shared the shop, yes he had dreams of going to be a actor but he wasnt gonna ditch you. Youve both been best friends since he accidentally tripped you and made you cry in 5th grade, which he begged to do your homework as an apology. But there was always a tension when you both grew up, he sent you letters, well check up letters, if you need help on your homework letters, sometimes a hershy bar glued to it.

You told him your okay all the time and to stop wasting time on you, telling him to go feed his dog or clean his room because you knew he always forgot. You sent letters back too, you both didnt call each other because you liked the old ways and he admires that, he liked that you rode on your skateboard just to see him and ask him hows hes doing, he just felt like you are heaven sent.

“Righttt, well i got some crystals” you smiled at him, setting the donuts on the small white table before grabbing the box of crystals. “Y/n you know i dont like that witch stuff!” He glared at you and placed the coffee down next to the donuts.

“But tommy!” You smacked your lips, bending your knees repeatedly like a child. “They’re so beautiful and they mean something! I even got candles and cardsssss!”

He gave you a blank stare, before looking away “fine” “thank youuuu!” You walked over and he sat in his stool infront of the turntable, you made your way over and set the box in his lap, getting on your knees and opening the box.

“Swear that you wont curse me or this has no bad juju” “i just have to clean them first-“ “Y/N!” He groaned “whatttt!” You poked his leg, “stop being mean to me!”

“Im not being mean to you!” He looked down at you, you let out a hmph and got up, snatching the box before taking it into the backroom where your shared stuff went.

“Im sorry y/n!” He said, looking in the direction of the back room but sighed when he didn’t get an answer, instead of saying something again he got up to go back there, seemed like you went to the bathroom because you disappeared. He grabbed a bucket and filled it with water, then he grabbed a thing of clay that was wrapped in saran wrap to keep it fresh and went back to his turn table.

He set the stuff down, putting his foot on to buttom and watching the small circle turn before lifting his white shirt, revealing his abs right before his black tank top came down.

He heard the box of donuts opening which left a smile on his face, quietly walking over and sneaking behind the shelf before throwint his shirt at you, leaving a groan before you looked back at him, shooting him a glare.

“Can you hold that for me?” “You couldve kept it in the back smarty pants” “i guess i didnt want to this time” he shrugged with a smrik, walking off “your shirt stinks!” You lied, making him laugh and shake his head before sitting down and getting to work.

You looked through google trying to find more research about the crystals before tom called you for help. “Y/nnnnn!” “Yes thomas?” You asked, still looking at your phone.

“I need your helppp!” He said, looking down at the awkward clay bowl, a few lumps here and there in it. “Coming!” You stood and made your way over, wheb you peeked your head out you saw him trying to fix it.

His hair fluffy so his curles hanged over his head, his fingers painted with clay as he gently rubbed the bowl trying to flatten it out.

“What happened?” You asked and he sighed, shrugging “it just isnt working” “it’s probably like that because you didnt put on your lucky apron” you chuckled, grabbbing the both yours and his aprons next to the large green plant.

A loud groan left his lips as his shoulders slumped and rested his eblow on his knee, setting his cheek on his knuckles as he looked at you walking over. “Dont bring any bad spirits in here tom”

“Hey! Im not trying to!” He playfully rolled his eyes, you handed him his apron, small spidermans on it while yours had my little ponys.

“Alrightttt” you muttered, telling him to move his hand, when he did you sat on the leg nearest to you and he instantly wrapped his hand around your waist, watching as you dipped your hands in the water. “Its your turn to wash the aprons” you muttered, he let out a hum and a small laugh before you stepped on the button, letting the water drip from your hands and onto the clay.

“Can you make a heart in the middle?” He whispered, rubbing your side as he watched your hands work. “Whos it for?” You laughed and he shrugged “you” “me?” Your eyebrows furrowed and he squeezed your waist tight “yeah, why not?”

“Uh- i dont know?” You shrugged a bit, stuttering. Trying your hardest to focus but you messed up, a sigh leaving both of your lips as you had to restart.

You put the clay back in a glob, putting your hands around making it tall, a cough left toms lips as he looked away, while you tried your hardest not to laugh. “Y/n fix it” he asked. “I dont know...i kinda like it like this” you said, placing a hand on his knee.

“It looks like a penis” and with that you laughed “no seriously fix itttt!” “Okay okay, only if you let me do a reading on you”

“Y/n i dont like witchery” “but you like harry potter?” “I-its different” “fineee, i only wanted to know what your love life is looking like” you muttered and toms ears perked up. “You can find that out?” “Yeah, but you dont want to soooo-“

“Okay okay! Just fix please!” He lifted the knee that you were sitting on and rubbed your side letting you know he was ready. You chuckled and got to work.

About 5 minutes later you asked for toms hands, he gave them to you willingly and you sat all the way in his lap, tugging his hands forward his head was right in your neck, heavy breathing on your neck as you could help but get a little goosebumps on your neck.

You rocked his hands back and forth “mhm, just like that” you muttered “yeah like this?” He teased, “no your fucking up”. “Fuck off” you both laughed, you let his hands go and let him do it on his own.

“Are you ready for the reading?” You asked, tom sitting infront of you nervously and shirtless, both of your hands clean and creation drying in the back.

“I think so” he shrugged, you lit the sage “this is a cleaner okay, calm down. This is to save me and you from getting possessed”

His jaw dropped as he got up, a loud laugh leaving your lips before you told him your kidding. “Dont play like that y/n!”

You set the crystals out, on the end of the both of your ends of the table. “Y/n we arent transporting to another dimension, right?” He asked, looking at the sage and how professional it looks. “Noo we arent, you want the love reading or not”

“Im gonna shut up” he said and you agreed, telling him it would save the whole world. You shuffled the deck before knocking on it, his eyebrows furrowed as he let out that the sage stinks which made you shoot daggers.

“Alright tom” you let out a deep sigh, looking at the card infront of you. He looked at you confused, then looked at the cards.

“The Fool, High priestess, The Lovers, and death reversed” you looked up at him and lifted your eyebrows “are you resisting something?”

He shrugged “what could I possibly be resisting?”

“Im seeing soulmates, mystery and innocence. Maybe uhhhh something from childhood, someone from childhood”

He felt a cold chill, but made it stay hidden.

“Young, im getting young, you’ve probably walked by your soulmate already, had some type of chatting with them, gotten close to them, maybe some type of physical touch?” You mostly talked to yourself, tapping The Fool card before grabbing the deck, two cards flipping out and landing on tom. You reached over and grabbed them, “The World Reversed and The Star, tom you are holding something back and your spirits are giving you hope, they are hoping you are gonna speak up because you are disappointing them”

“Well im not holding anything back!” He said, panicked. “Do you think or feel like youve passed your soulmate?” You asked, he hesitatingly nodded his head. “That you have touched them?” He nodded again, a large smile on your face.

“Im so excited for youuu!” You danced in your chair, tom grinned a bit, “uhm with these card i feel like they ARE spiritual. Thomas” you glared at him. “And lets check the bottom of the deck”

You looked at the bottom and saw “temperance, i getting that after you do this, weight will be lifted off of your shoulders”

“Uhh okay” he awkwardly smiled, shifting in his seat. You looked at all the cards “lets get into looks”

“Im seeing a lot off y/s/c (your skin color), they might have y/e/c, i see they have a bright smile, y/h/c”

“Y/n?” He asked. You looked up at him and furrowed your eyebrows “why does that describe you?” “Describe me...?” You took it all in, going back and furrowing your eyebrows as you thought about what you said.

“Are you my soulmate?” He asked. “How am I supposed to know that? And uh, soulmates doesnt always mean that we like each other, were just connect platonically” “but what if we arent.......platonic soulmates?” He asked, looking at you.

“Why wouldnt we?” You did a panicked laugh. “I dont know” “do you think we are soulmates?” You asked, putting the cards down. “I mean, we get along really well” he looked away from you, you bit your lip.

“So we are soulmates,” “i guess yeah” he shrugged “platonic soulmates-“ “i-i dont think so” he looked at you, “tom what-“ “i dont wanna be platonic soulmates y/n”

Your eyebrows furrowed “do you like me?” You laughed, and he nodded, “i uh always have” he played with his fingers and looked down at his bare chest. “Why did you tell me sooner?”

“Huh?” He looked up at you. “You were obviously stressing for no reason-“ “do you like me too?”

“Yes” you shrugged, you had to. You noticed your love for him when he sent you your fith letter.

𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒚/𝒏,

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒐 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒂 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒆-𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍. 𝑱𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒅𝒐𝒈. 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆, 𝒊 𝒂𝒍𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒚𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒅𝒂𝒚.

𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒕𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒚.

“And you didnt say anything?” “Well i wasnt into spirits and shit like that when i was 15!” You said to him. “So we love each other. Like not platonically but like” he put his first fingers together. “To fast!” You said, and he laughed standing up and leaning over the table and you did the same, his hand came up to your cheek as yours went to the nape of his neck to play with the hairs, he gently pressed his lips on yours, you giggled against his lips and kissed back.

When you both pulled away you pressed your foreheads together, both laughing and pressing each others lips together again “im like 95 percent sure our spirit guides are high fiving each other right now” you muttered. “Yeah?” He asked, kissing the side of your lips. “Yeah” “mhm” “are they like watching us right now?”

“I dont wanna freak you out” you bit his bottom lip tugging it. “You wont freak me out i promise” “nahhhh”

[tomsrebeleyebrow]

Tom getting kicked in his balls by his child and he tries to act brace but runs inside and you give him an icepack😂

A/N: oh my, I had so much fun writing this! 😂😂😂 and i clearly was in a dad!tom mood today soooo enjoy this one! thanks for the request, nonnie and as always stay safe 💖💗

‘Stay safe, Cheer up’ blurb event

“Alright Nathan, grab firmly onto the bat like this” said Tom behind his four-year-old son, trying to adjust his posture. “Great, now lift your elbow a bit- there you go, buddy!”

Meanwhile you were in the kitchen, preparing lunch and watching your two boys messing around in the backyard of the house. After “teaching” little Nat the basics of soccer, Tom wanted to try baseball as you convinced your husband to put any golf related things aside for a bit (but also for your own sanity).

“Now, imagine someone’s throwing a ball at you” explained Tom, gently holding Nathan’s little arm with both hands.

The little boy stared at his dad, carefully listening to him while sticking his tongue out just like him when he was concentrating. Nathan was the spitting image of Tom but with your eyes, a clever and beautiful mix of wild brown curls with big (e/c) eyes and long eyelashes that made you and Tom (and pretty much anyone else) go soft for the little boy. God you loved your son so much, and now you couldn’t help but be scared about him getting hurt. At least, Tom was there to supervise. Kinda.

“When the ball’s coming at you, you get warmed up to hit it with the bat like this.”

Tom showed Nathan the right motion to do by stepping behind him, gently making the boy swing the bat to the back, before bringing it to the front to hit the imaginary ball. He did the same move a few times, getting it quite fast and winning the approval of his dad. You smiled at how invested your little boy was and so decided to prepare more side dishes to reward him.

“You definitely got the move, Nat!” proudly said Tom, “okay now, show me by yourse-”

As Tom was stepping backward to give his son some more space, Nathan apparently got too excited and didn’t wait enough as the top of the bat made direct contact into Tom’s family jewels. The impact cut Tom’s breath instantly, making him bite his tongue at the same time as every muscles in his body contracted, all nerves sending distress messages to his brain.

“Did I do good, daddy?” Nathan’s soft voice asked, the little boy lowering the bat as he turns towards his father.

Tom’s face was as red as a tomato, his teeth biting into his bottom lips hoping to suppress some pain by creation another one. His eyes screaming pain then focused on his son who was obviously waiting for his answer, and maybe wondering why his dad was making such a funny face.

“Y-You did g-good, b-buddy!” exhaled Tom in one breath, a smile way too wide to be natural but Nathan didn’t seem to notice.

“K-Keep practising a b-bit, d-dad’s comin’ back q-quick!”

Not wasting another second of suffering, the brunette rushed through the garden to then enter the kitchen you were in. Hearing him getting close, you turned to propose him and your son some water but just stopped when you saw your husband’s face.

“Are you alright, Tom?” you asked while approaching him with a confused look as his breathing was getting quite loud and pained, like the unusual redness of his entire face.

Tom raised a hand in front of him, slowly catching his breath as much as possible, before gathering enough strength to talk properly.

“I-I’m… okay, love. I-I think…?”

Then your eyes fell lower and noticed how his other hand was firmly covering his private parts. You frowned, getting even more confused before Tom interrupted your thoughts.

“C-Can you please give me an ice pack, darling? Nat hit me in the balls pretty hard a-and I was not expecting our son to be that strong…”

Then all dots connected. And you couldn’t help the laugh escaping your lips, a loud one that actually brought tears at the corner of your eyes. What a blast.

“D-Darling please, the ice pack!!” whined Tom as he leaned on the wall to rest a little.

You slowly calmed down and went to take an ice pack out of the fridge for your husband, whom modesty had suffered enough. Once you helped him sit on a chair, you remembered Nathan was still outside by himself so you walked to the window to see if he was doing fine. And he definitely was, as you watched your little boy running around the yard still holding the bat, swinging it to chase some monsters or villains like he liked to do.

“I’m glad I’ve got you pregnant before this happens” laughed Tom, still holding the ice pack between his legs, the thump slightly becoming a bit swollen.

You turned to face your husband with a fake shocked expression, hands resting on your hips while you made your way towards him.

“Being cheeky, Holland?” you challenged him, raising an eyebrow followed with a smirk. “Careful, I now know a way to scare your male chauvinism away...”

“Jeez woman, ‘mini Tom’ and my sperm cells suffered enough already” chuckled Tom before sliding his free arm around your waist.

He brought you closer and kissed your belly, well your now three-month pregnant belly that will protect your second child for another six months or so. Tom then nuzzled his face against it like a cat, which made you giggle, content. You slid your fingers through his brown locks, brushing some hair back. Then you heard little footsteps coming your way.

“Mama?”

You saw Nathan appearing from the corner of the room, his hands now free from the bat. Tom didn’t move from his spot but followed the sound of Nathan’s voice.

“Where’s papa?”

“Daddy got a bit hot outside and needed to rest a little” you gently replied, smiling at your son’s understanding expression.

“Dad’s doing super fine” Tom added with a huge smile, trying to hide the ice pack he was still pressing against his crotch. “Alright, taking a break from your baseball training. Time to get some lunch, buddy!”

🏷 Permanent tag list & mutuals 💖 (get notified)

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[kim-lexie]

true beauty.

THIS DRAMA WAS UN-EXPECTANT. HILARIOUS. CUTE. AND PRECIOUS. we got cha eunwoo, our bae. with our newest bestest boy, hwang in-yeop. and our queen, mun ka-young. what else would one need in a drama?! i was excited when they announced the creation of this drama, because like so many of us i love the webtoon. that is overlooking the faults of the basis of the theme with shallow standards of beauty, it is great. and i love our characters. i especially love how the writers of the drama utilized the great structures of the webtoon’s characters and created another world. i rate it a 10 out of 10.

we follow our leading lady im ju-kyung as she overcomes bullying at her old school for being ‘ugly’. she was cast out and a ‘dumpling runner’, running around for the group of bullies. she finds a passion for makeup and masters it, becoming a new person with a ‘new face’ after putting it on. she starts life at a new school with her new face. she stumbles into an old place of comfort without her new face, the comic book store, and runs into the school prince, lee suho. this ensues with a bout of lying; unsuccessfully, because suho knows that she is the same im ju-kyung that started at his school. he protects her secret, and it leads their relationship to grow closer. we follow them through their years at high school, as she hides her face and later hiding their relationship from their classmates. this drama continues to follow them through their young adult years. 

now on to the spoilers…

overall, once again i must always state that i don’t love it when they take this shallow perspective and over dramatize the conventional aspects of beauty. im ju-kyung, who is supposedly not conventionally beautiful and they dramatize her redness and pimples, etc. she does all these wild things to hide her true identity from those around her at school. thankfully the writers did not try to pull that ‘oh my goodness, i didn’t know that was you under the makeup’ game because our suho is not a shallow cookie and looks below the surface. because that game is ridiculous and i would have died. i am thankful the ending that this drama took, because i was nervous especially at the start that it was going to go the duration of the show with no-one knowing her true face, like the webtoon. thankfully we had a character revelation unfortunately not on her own timing. but she had grown as a person and had a team of people behind her allowing her to shine and overcome. we love character development. it’s great. it makes my heart happy. we started the drama with her completely swallowed whole by the perception that she wanted to portray to those around her, not showing her true beauty. because she was a beautiful person who wanted to protect those around her, and once she let go of this facade and mask she was able to fully be the person she was destined to be.

i loved suho’s character in this. he had so many layers and i love that they didn’t make it like the webtoon in this aspect. i love how their relationship started in the comic store and ended there. he grew so much, and became livelier because he knew im ju-kyung. his character was so stoic and overcome with sadness at the start. his best friend committed suicide and he blamed himself for this, which was completely out of his control. im ju-kyung showed him that it was not his fault and they came to protect one another. also love how the writers had him pursue music producing at the end, and even produced for seo-jun’s debut. he was such a great son, after him and his father finally reconnected and then he suffered a stroke, crazy! suho went to the states to care for his father. definitely lost in this, he broke up with ju-kyung as to not hold her back, which was silly and even though he was across the world they could have made it work. they’d been through so much worse, but that’s for another drama universe.

han seo-jun our brooding character with a light personality just beneath the surface. i loved seeing his character at home and with his crew, compared to walking through the school halls. (hello, ‘okey dokey yo’). his character always fiercely protected those around him and i just love seo-jun. i love that he came to pursue his career as an idol, and ended up debuting at the end. he worked so hard and deserved the world and more. and i have to say i hate the second male lead dramas, because they break my heart. he changed so much because im ju-kyung’s character grew him and challenged him in new ways. i knew seo-jun would not get the girl. i knew this from the start. did that stop me from loving his character? no. no, it didn’t. did it stop me from cheering for him, even though i loved suho? no. so who ends up heartbroken in the end with him? me. i do. so here i am weeks after the finale, thinking about how seo-jun told ju-kyung that suho was leaving for the states to  send her running after another guy, and ultimately bringing the two of them together. thinking about all those years suho was in the states, when seo-jun treasured their friendship and was with her quietly supporting her in her dreams, for her to ultimately leave for suho. sad. that’s what it is, the definition of sadness. and goodness gracious where is my seo-jun? i will love you and treasure you honey. you do not need ju-kyung, i got you boo.

i must add that hwang in-yeop can show up in my life any day, and i will graciously stop everything and marry this man. i love all of his dramas thus far, his character from the interviews i’ve seen, i love him. he is a favorite. i am expectant for the upcoming dramas he will surely steal the show in.  

the friendship between seo-jun and suho was so multifaceted. i love how we saw how their relationship was before when they were a trio, and then the brokenness when seo-jun blamed suho, to then seeing them come together because they realized they both cut one another off when they should have leaned on one another instead. it was sweet and i loved their bromance moments. they truly stole the show away. it was hilarious and fun with them together. and i appreciate that the relationship between suho and ju-kyung didn’t break the two apart in the end.  

i need to make note how much i love im ju-kyung’s family. like her siblings were iconic. her sister im hee-kyung and her relationship with eui-sik, the homeroom teacher. ICONIC. and im ju-young, her brother, and his precious attempts at winning seojun’s sister’s heart. PRECIOUS. i would 10 out of 10 watch a spin off with the focus on these characters. i loved when ju-kyung’s mom realized all the trauma that her daughter endured how she went to mending the broken pieces to rebuild their relationship. and i love how sweet her dad was, always encouraging her dreams. and i love how they all wanted the best for her, and supported her dreams of becoming a makeup artist. 

i am so sad that whenever we get a great friendship between our leading ladies they end up in awful relations at some point in the drama. our kang soo-jin and im ju-kyung were the best of friends. she even found out about ju-kyung’s secret and protected her to get back to the tent when they were on the trip. and then when ju-kyung started to date suho, soo-jin got everything twisted. i appreciate how suho let her know that no matter the situation he would not have ended up with her, because he didn’t see her in that way. and i loved the seo-jun put her in her place and confronted her for posting the photos of im ju-kyung online. i am thankful that we had the revelation for soo-jin’s character and came back to apologize to ju-kyung in the end. it was sweet and genuine. she came to see why she was like the way she was, grew from it, and apologized for her past behaviors. 

i love how suho and ju-kyung’s world’s connected. from the comic book store, to high school, to her sister working at his father’s music agency. it was complete destiny that they ended up together. i love a good ‘it is destiny, it was meant to be'. 

the webtoon drama inception was REAL. i loved that they added those little easter eggs throughout the drama with the little connections to ‘extraordinary you’. i loved it. 

favorite moments. 

the flashback comic book store scenes. 

the games at the camping trip.

roar...like any and all instances of this. precious. 

ju-kyung confessing that she liked suho to seo-jun, and crushing my team seojun heart.

suho and ju-kyung’s first kiss.

suho daring to hand ju-kyung a cup in the elevator. ㅋㅋㅋ

seojun and suho fighting over making the best dumplings at ju-kyung’s house.

seojun showing up to help his sister, and im ju-young getting so excited that han seojun came to save the day. 

im ju-kyung sticking up for herself against her new and old school bullies. like the legit fist fight and then the one when she stood up for suho. when they came for her man she was like ‘heck no, not today honey’.

seojun and suho at the hospital and having to care for each other to complete daily tasks. really brought them together again. > also this accident was super dramatic. but we love that everything was chill in the end. 

im ju-young being traumatized by his eldest sister kissing her boyfriend, and then encouraging ju-kyung and suho to kiss.

tteokbokki between seo-jun and ju-kyung.

‘okey dokey yo’...ICONIC to say the least. 

the ost.

the ost did not disappoint. we even got cha eunwoo and hwang in-yeop tracks! here are my top favorites including the beautiful cover renditions:

‘call me maybe’ by SAya

‘i’m in the mood’ for dancing by yuju

‘starlight’ by chani

‘love so fine’ by cha eunwoo

‘flowerpot’ originally by alex, covered by hwang in-yeop

‘it starts today’ by hwang in-yeop

‘how do you do’ by chani

‘to you my light’ originally by maktub and lee raon, covered by hwang in-yeop.

[taeyungie]

name 5 creators that stand out to you and tell us why! ❤️

ONLY 5?????? 😭😭😭😭 ANONIE PLS HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE ONLY 5 WHEN ALL PEOPLE I FOLLOW ARE BEYOND TALENTED 😭😭😭 i don't like choosing because i really have something to say about each one of the blogs i follow, they're all unique in their own way :( but I'll choose blogs from the top of my head that i remember adminig for the longest amount of time! i think that's fair hehe

@jung-koook – hehe i of course had to choose Sky as the first one that comes up to my mind, the answer is not biased just because she's my best friend i promise 😂❤️ i chose her also because i absolutely cannot wrap my head around how 👏 talented 👏 she 👏 is 👏 AND SHE STILL HAS THE AUDACITY TO TELL ME THAT "I MUST HAVE MISTAKEN HER BLOG FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S" I'M LITERALLY FUMING WHEN I HEAR THAT SJSBSJJSJSJSK her content really has one of the most beautiful styles i have ever seen here, it's unmistakable, her coloring is always fitting and gorgeous, never too much and always perfectly toned. scenes she chooses to gif? always the best. her edits? gorgeous, so creative, bring me so much joy. from my perspective it looks like Sky has no bad days when it comes to creating content, everything that comes from her hands is a masterpiece, even if she thinks something she made is ugly i'm still collecting my jaw from the floor anyway, summing up she's the queen. she absolutely deserves all the compliments and love she receives and she should be complimented every day, no one's doing it like her and i'm not the first one to say it but she really is carrying our fandom on tumblr on her own shoulders, she's the most consistent in what she does, i truly admire her for that and for her dedication ❤️ my precious, hardworking bee 🐝💘

@slipped-away – HAN 👏 oh my goodness, Han. where do i even start, has everyone seen Han's gfx's, edits, icons? ONLY MENTIONING HER IS ENOUGH THERE'S NOTHING TO EXPLAIN LOL SKNSJSKS her talent is honestly mind blowing to me, her style is so unique and it's impossible to mistaken her works with anyone else, there's no need to look at url to know that she created certain thing. every work she released has so much charm and magic in it, it's incredible how she always comes up with new ideas that are all just as amazing

@kkulmoon - i always loved Amai's style so much and to me it's honestly so unique, especially her coloring, it's also impossible to confuse her gifs with anyone else's, the type of content she puts out is also so unique, her compilations and all gifs in general, i feel like they're so incomparable and i'm always getting excited like a little kid for candies when i see her new creations LOL, i sometimes scroll through her gif tag just to look at her gifs because that's how much i love them 😭❤️

@taee - in all seriousness Julia's my favorite fellow tae stan KANSJSKS even though we haven't been really talking i get such an incredible amount of joy from interacting with her on dash and screaming about each other gifs on dash LOL ❤️ AND I MEAN EVERYTHING I SAY UNDER ALL HER GIFS AND GFX'S, she's so talented in both ways that it's mindblowing to me, i don't even know where to start talking about her graphics because it's so overwhelming to me how wonderful things she releases are, i completely lose my ability to speak when there's so much that i wanna say about an art piece LMAO and all her gifs bring me so much joy too and their theme is always so great ❤️

@hobibestboy - since the first day i followed Teresa and went through her gifs i was always so amazed and excited for all her gifs, she's so good at creating such interesting and precious content, sometimes it's unbelievable that someone can put out such a good content 😭 the edits are always so creative and beautiful, the gifs are always so interesting and incredible, the coloring is unique and gorgeous, i always know that's her gifs i'm seeing! LONG STORY SHORT IM IN LOVE WITH HER GIFS 😭 her content brought me so much closer to Hobi too, and i'm absolutely overjoyed because of that, she's so talented and hardworking, she deserves all the praise and love!! 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️

I wish i could put here so much more people and i regret there was only 5 slots i could fill 😭 BUT as i said earlier, i have something like this to say for all of creators, everyone on this site is incredible and deserves all the praise 🥺

[moonflowerlesbians]

I wrote the 10 year anniversary fic

She's short but she’s sweet. Please enjoy.

to be loved a whole life long

Rated T, ~2.6k.

~~~

What is an anniversary, really, if not merely a ploy to indulge in all of the little pleasures one denies on any other day? Saying, “oh, well, we ought to save it for a special occasion.”

And, what, Jamie thinks, is an occasion more special than the day marking the tenth year since she began this beautiful, insane journey with the love of her life. A woman so remarkable that Jamie almost can’t believe she’s real. Almost can’t believe that she can wake up beside the same person every morning, smelling the same fruity shampoo, spend the day working side by side, and still, every night, fall into bed, eager to pull Dani close. Then wake up the following day and do it all again.

It’s a stability Jamie never thought she would have. After years of bouncing from foster family to foster family, Bly was the closest thing to home she’d ever had. Until, that is, these ten, wonderful years with Dani in the flat they share above the little shop that they built from the ground up.

She thinks as much as beams of cozy sunlight filter through the gossamer curtains Dani picked out for their bedroom. She has an arm draped over Dani’s middle, her front to Dani’s back, her hand tracing idle circles on the plane of Dani’s stomach beneath her sleep shirt. Jamie can hear the quiet exhalations puffing against Dani’s wrist, which she’s managed to trap against her cheek. Jamie is certain she’ll be graced with complaints of pins and needles when Dani wakes. Jamie will laugh and offer to massage the numbness away, and Dani will roll her eyes but allow her limb to flop inelegantly into Jamie’s lap.

Jamie props herself up on one elbow, her fingers trailing a path from Dani’s midriff, up her arm, to brush a wayward strand of blonde hair behind her ear. Dani begins to stir as Jamie presses slow lips to the junction of her neck and shoulder, moves to the shell of her ear, her temple, the slender curve of her jaw.

Dani makes a noise low in her throat.

“Ah, there she is,” Jamie hums, her voice, though quiet, still too loud in the morning stillness.

“Thought we w’re gonna sleep in t’day,” Dani sighs, already preparing to nestle deeper into the blankets.

Jamie runs a playful finger down the bridge of Dani’s nose. “Already did that, love. ‘S nearly half nine.”

“F’rgot you get up ‘fore the early birds,” Dani grumbles, “An’thing past six ‘s late for you.”

“The plants wait for no one.”

“They’re plants. ‘S not like they have anywhere to be.”

“You don’t know that. Could have important plant business to attend to.”

Dani, at last, rolls over incredulously. “Like what?”

“Dunno,” Jamie shrugs, “but you’re awake now.”

“You’re the worst, you know that?”

“Mhm,” Jamie chuckles, “happy anniversary, baby.” Their kiss is languid, sleep-heavy. When they break apart, their foreheads still touch.

“Happy anniversary,” Dani whispers, thumb absently caressing Jamie’s cheekbone. Her eyes glimmer with mischief when she meets Jamie’s gaze. “Wouldn’t be opposed to staying in bed all day, though...”

“Need food first.”

Dani huffs. “Fine.”

“Thought we might try the new cafe on the corner of Leeland and Huntley for brunch. Apparently, they’ve got terrific blueberry muffins.”

“And you know this how?”

“Kid and her mum came through the shop the other day. Wee gremlin wouldn’t put the damn thing down,” Jamie gripes. “Got crumbs all over my daffodils.”

“She sounds cute.” Dani sounds almost wistful.

“‘Course you’d think so. Once a teacher, always a teacher.” She waves dismissively. “Or something like that.” Jamie rubs her palms together. “Right, then, up and at ‘em. Those muffins won’t eat themselves.”

“Didn’t realize you were so excited by baked goods.”

“Not the baked goods I’m excited for. I seem to recall mentions of returning to bed after food.”

+++

They are dressed and out the door in record time.

+++

They’ve closed the shop for the day, allowing themselves a brief reprieve from the discord of the wedding season. Every other day, it seems, a new blushing bride parades through their doors, followed by a mother or mother-in-law with a thousand questions and a dozen requests per minute. Jamie enjoys the work, truly. Seeing the delighted relief wash over the room as the arrangement designs are finalized is immensely gratifying. Almost as gratifying as watching her flowers, her precious creations, adorn ballrooms and churches, surrounded by people celebrating life. The joy of being alive.

She feels it now, she thinks, the sheer euphoria of existing. Here, walking down the street, a take-away cup of tea in her hand, with Dani’s arm roped through hers.

They are living on borrowed time, she knows, stark reminders of blue and brown present in every reflection. Every so often, Jamie catches herself longing, pleading for more time. She should be grateful for what the universe has gifted her. But, on days like these, days where the air is right and the sun is warm on her skin, she finds herself wishing for a forever that she cannot have. A forever unpromised to a monster that lurks beneath the most beautiful smile in the world.

She pushes the thought aside. Tomorrow is never promised. All she has is today. And she’ll be damned before she lets it slip away.

+++

They feed the waterfowl in the park with muffin crumbs. There are ducklings this time of year, and Dani’s gleeful cooing, high-pitched and elated, travels across the pond. Dappled shadows drape across her shoulders. Tree branches sway in a gentle breeze, casting a spotted cloak across the scene. Jamie feels the tension drain from her neck.

They sit, side by side, on the swingset, watching the joggers run past, waving at their neighbors and their golden retriever, the couple whose engagement party The Leafling decorated last month. Dani exchanges pleasantries with them all. It’s the Midwesterner in her, she likes to say, amicability is in her blood. Jamie does not understand, but she does her best to nod less than awkwardly while her partner makes smalltalk.

They stop for ice cream on the way home. It is a special occasion, after all, and the balmy June weather provides the perfect excuse to indulge in seldom-savored decadence. One, Jamie decides, they should absolutely partake in more often, if the child-like giddiness Dani expresses over cake batter ice cream is any indication. The crows feet at the corners of her eyes crinkle as she grins, and Jamie thinks she has never looked more lovely.

+++

A trans-Atlantic call to Owen foils their initial plans of baking their own lasagna after Dani lets slip that they weren’t planning to boil the noodles before layering in the sauces.

“For the love of God, please order in. The both of you are im-pasta-ble. It’s like I’ve taught you nothing.”

“That pun was weak, even for you.”

“This is what you’ve reduced me to.”

So, they call in a delivery order to the Italian place down the road. Jamie chivalrously offers to pick it up, and Dani ushers her out of the flat with a vigor that has Jamie raising an eyebrow. But, she simply shrugs and slides into the drivers’ seat of their second-hand pickup. The familiar rumble of the engine is comforting, the crooning of some jazz singer on the radio soothing background noise. Crickets chirp in the early summer evening.

She swings through the grocer to pick up champagne on her way home and juggles the bottle and the takeaway bag of food as she fumbles her key into the lock. Dani opens the door just as she’s about to turn the knob, and Jamie falls forward, Dani catching her by the arm.

“You alright?” Dani asks, but there’s an amused lilt to her voice.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. If you could just take…” Jamie’s mouth goes dry. Her face is level with Dani’s hips, which she has come to realize are covered in a velvety fabric she does not recognize. Her eyes flick up, coming to rest on Dani’s collarbones, the exposed skin of her arms, the accentuated curve of her waist. “You… I… uh….”

“You could’ve knocked, you know. I would’ve let you in.”

“I… yeah, could’ve… knocked.” Jamie realizes she is frozen in the entryway, jaw on the floor, and, in all honesty, cannot bring herself to care. Not when Dani is standing in front of her, clad in a gorgeous purple dress Jamie’s never seen before, her bangs styled to frame her face, while the remainder of her hair is pulled back. Jamie clears her throat. “You, ah, you changed.”

“I did.”

“You, you look…” Jamie searches for the right word, but none seem to encapsulate the overwhelming rush of emotion she feels, looking at the love of her life in the dim light from the bulb in the hallway outside their flat, on the tenth anniversary of the start of life she never thought she would have.

Damn the limitations of this bloody language. She can say “I got absolutely goddamn shitfaced last night” in a hundred different ways, but there is no succinct way to phrase, “I love you so fucking much and you are the most incredible person in the world and I don’t know how I got lucky enough to know you and I could spend the rest of my life holding your hand.”

It seems, at least to Jamie, a grievous failure of linguistic evolution.

“Beautiful,” she settles on, at last. “You’re so beautiful.” It’s not enough. But it will suffice.

“Come on, loverboy,” Dani says, tapping the bottom of Jamie’s chin with a slender index finger before giving a tug on her sleeve. “Food’s getting cold.” She’s blushing, though, a faint tint coloring her chest as she takes one of the plastic bags from Jamie. Jamie, who merely stares at Dani’s retreating silhouette before remembering she’s supposed to follow. She shuts the front door behind her and stumbles into the kitchen, setting the bottle and second bag on the countertop next to the stove.

When she turns around, Dani is in the living room holding a match to two candles set on a ceramic dish on their kitchen island. She’s laid out their nice dinnerware, which, really, consists of the four gold-encircled plates and matching napkin rings they’d found at an antique store in Milwaukee, back when they had been exploring the country Dani called home. A vase of roses is positioned on the coffee table, and it’s evident that Dani arranged them herself, and oh, oh, how Jamie loves her for it.

“Surprise?” Dani says shyly.

Jamie blinks at her. It’s all she can do not to break down. Instead, she settles for taking two bold steps to Dani's side of the counter and kissing her senseless. Dani lets out a squeak of surprise, but quickly relaxes into Jamie’s touch. She’s biting her lip when they separate, Jamie’s twirling the fine hairs at the nape of her neck as she presses their foreheads together.

“Let me change, and we’ll eat, yeah?”

“Sounds good.” Dani’s breathing is an ounce heavier than normal.

Jamie winks slyly, wanders to their bedroom and opens the closet, pulling out the first acceptable outfit she sees. She doesn’t have to change, she knows. Dani could care less whether she’s wearing a three-piece suit or sweatpants. (Though she suspects the suit might have the edge.) She dons a white, three-quarter zip and black slacks, pausing briefly to add a pair of black leather suspenders she knows Dani likes. Something about being easy to grab and pull.

Dani is struggling to uncork the champagne when Jamie returns to the kitchen. Her tongue pokes adorably out of the corner of her mouth, and her soft grunts of frustration are surprisingly endearing.

“Hand it over. Come on, now. Before you put your eye out.”

“I can do it,” Dani protests. “Just. Need to tweak it. A little.”

Jamie takes the opportunity to press against Dani’s back, her arms wrapping around to cover Dani’s hands where they fiddle with the bottle. For a moment, Dani forgets to be cross and reclines her head, resting it on Jamie’s shoulder. She sighs, relinquishing control, and Jamie huffs out a quick laugh. She holds the champagne over the sink to catch the overflow when the bottle pops.

Dani mumbles something about “having loosened it,” which Jamie meets with resolute agreement and a, “‘course you did, baby.”

The lasagne, an Owen-approved non-abomination, has been plated, Dani having evidently done so while Jamie was shucking her dayclothes. She pours them each a healthy flute of champagne and seats herself beside Dani, raising her glass.

She hesitates.

“Wait,” Dani exclaims, hurrying to the hall closet. She rummages for a second, bringing back the Polaroid camera Jamie had given her their first Christmas together. She checks the film, appears satisfied, and balances the device on an upturned colander to set up her shot. She sets the timer and sidles under Jamie’s arm, picking up her champagne flute. “Smile!” Dani beams.

When the image prints, the picture reveals Dani, with the biggest grin Jamie swears she’s ever seen, and Jamie at her side, looking positively smitten. The flash has illuminated the silver streaks in her hair, the lines embedded in her skin. Time has been kind to her, she reminds herself, others are not so lucky. And, in any case, when she looks at this photograph, she will not be looking at herself.

Dani kisses her cheek and moves her keepsake to the coffee table for safety. Too many important documents ruined by spills for her to risk it. She props it gently against the roses. It’s perfect.

Again, Jamie raises her glass. She inspects the contents.

Again, she hesitates. Then, a toast:

“To another ten.”

Silence.

Dani stills, looks at her.

Jamie can see the beginning of an argument forming on the tip of Dani’s tongue, and Jamie holds her stare. It’s a challenge. A dare, even.

They do not often speak of the distant future. Only when it is absolutely necessary do they broach the sensitive topic.

A world-weary smile paints Dani’s lips. Her eyes are burdened, the vivacity present mere seconds ago seemingly having vanished. She is tired. It shows in the slump of her shoulders, the crease of her brow, the way the giddiness of earlier has slunk away, leaving Dani bare-boned and fatigued.

She lifts her glass.

She says nothing.

“I love you,” Jamie murmurs after the faint clink of glass on glass. “So much.”

“Always,” Dani finishes. And Jamie knows she means it.

+++

They embrace beneath the sheets that night, sweat cooling in the dry air. Jamie’s fingers are tangled in blonde waves highlighted with grey. Dani’s breathing has evened out, short puffs tickling Jamie’s sternum, as Jamie contemplates the window over her head.

She has found someone to love, and someone to love her in return. Someone who will stay, even on the bad days. Someone who expects nothing and deserves everything.

Dani is everything Jamie thought she never deserved. Dani is good. Dani is good and exquisite and utterly unbelievable and, god, how Jamie loves her.

She loves waking up beside her every morning, and she loves smelling the same fruity shampoo on the pillow. She loves spending the day working together on the business they built from the dirt up. She loves falling into bed every night and pulling Dani close. Every minute they have together is a gift that Jamie refuses to take for granted.

To another ten years, she thinks, and allows her eyes to close. Dani sighs against her.

[ao3bronte]

🐞Little Lady Paws🐾

2 | 3 | 4 Ladybug gets into a “hairy” predicament when an akuma capture goes wrong. A collaboration between @ao3bronte​ and @yamina20-blog​ 💕

I am a hamster.

I’m a hamster?

I’M A HAMSTER?!

Gnashing her hands—no, her paws—together restlessly, Paris’ leading lady turned stout-bodied rodent tries not to panic. She’s been sitting here patiently on Adrien’s bedspread for twenty minutes and so far, he hasn’t shown up to embarrass her any further. She can’t even imagine what he’s going to say when he sees her like this, tiny and furry and naked, save for the earrings in her ears. One quick look in her reflection confirms what Master Fu has already told her; they’re still in their active form, which means that Tikki is just as trapped in this hamster body as she is. 

Seconds turn into minutes and Ladybug eventually gets bored of waiting, prefering to explore the world around her to keep her mind off the inevitable. She clambers up towards his pillows but doesn’t find anything of interest hiding beneath them, which isn’t all that surprising. Just because she hides things under her own pillows doesn’t mean that other people do and Ladybug flops down onto his mattress platform instead to try and find something to amuse herself with.

Which is when she spots it.

An iPad!

Using Adrien’s mattress frame like a firepole, Ladybug slides down the legs of the platform and plops onto her furry bum with a squeak, rubbing it gingerly. This floor is hard! And her paws aren’t nearly as agile as human hands, which makes this next part even more daunting.

Whoa!

This shelving unit looked way smaller when she’d still been on the bed!

The iPad is on the second shelf and somehow, she needs to find a way to get up to it. If she uses his mobile charging cord as a lasso, maybe she can hook the tip of it around the corner of the cabinet and haul herself up like a mountaineer—

“Ladybug?”

The heroine-turned-hamster jolts to a halt, freezing in place. Her heart throbs like a jackhammer in her chest and she flattens herself to the floor instinctively, her eyes blown wide with fright. Adrien immediately looks stricken and runs over, sliding across the floor on his knees to where she’s more or less trying to melt between the whitewashed wooden floorboards.

“Ladybug? Oh my god, are you okay?” Adrien scoops her up with the gentlest of touches, cradling her like the most delicate piece of porcelain in creation, “Chat Noir told me about what happened to you and I promised to take care of you but—oh my god, Ladybug, are you breathing? Oh god, I’ve killed her. I gave her a heart attack and killed her!”

Watching his anxiety mount with every panicked exclamation, Ladybug wills her diaphragm inhale. He scared the living daylights out of her and now they’re both becoming hysterical and this is by far the worst thing that’s ever happened in the entire history of the known universe and nothing in the world could ever be this awful again except it is and it’s happening and—

“Oh thank god, you’re breathing,” Adrien sits back on his haunches with a sigh of relief, throwing his head back, “I thought I killed you!”

Ladybug manages to open and close her mouth several times before uttering a single squeak, her face positively simmering with embarrassment. Adrien doesn’t seem to notice, too wrapped up in his own guilt, and promptly clambers to his feet, “I’m going to put you somewhere safe, okay? It’s dangerous, being on the floor where someone could step on you.”

Still thoroughly drowning in her own humiliation, Ladybug doesn’t even protest as he gently deposits her back onto the bed again and begins to pace, “While I was coming home from my photoshoot, I was Googling how to take care of hamsters because I’ve never had a pet before—I mean,” he stops and begins to wave his hands, “You’re not a pet, you’re Ladybug, but you’re shaped like a pet and— oh my god, this is coming out all wrong.”

Adrien takes a deep breath, “Okay. I need to just…calm down. We all need to calm down and focus so we can try and figure this out.”

Watching in a mix of awe and horror, Ladybug realises that Adrien is feeling just as overwhelmed as she is.

“I really want to help you,” he finally says, rubbing furiously at the back of his neck, “But I don’t know how so...here!” Galloping over to his side table, Adrien snatches the very device Ladybug had been trying to lasso and plops it on the bed beside her, “Use the iPad! I’ll, uh...let me just find the memo app.”

Quickly swiping across the screen, a blank page awaits. Ladybug climbs on and quickly rules out using her front paws; her back paws keep hitting the other keys and messing everything up. With a frustrated huff, Ladybug stands on her hind legs and pats her claws on the backspace button until her garbled message is cleared.

hi adrien, she hops back and forth across the sensitive glass, the pads of her tiny paws hitting each key with a satisfying thunk, im so sorry chat did this to you

“What?!” Adrien reels back, panicking once again, “No no! This is fine. This is great! It’s no problem, watching over you. No no, I’m the one who should be sorry! I almost gave you a heart attack!”

Ladybug glances up at his cherry stained cheeks before tapping the enter button and continuing onto the next line, this is my fault i never should have got hit

“But you did,” Adrien fiddles with his hands, his fingers practically twitching with the need to be useful, “And we’re going to figure this out. Chat Noir said he’s going to come by when Le Papillon makes another akuma and pick you up. He’s hoping the next one will be useful and maybe you’ll be able to turn back!”

Ladybug can’t deny that Adrien’s earnestness is infectious, i hope so

“I know so,” he assures her, blinding her with one of his one-hundred watt grin, “You can count on Chat Noir. He’d do anything for you! He’s probably out there right now, looking for an answer!”

Running the tips of her claws through the fur on her forearms, Ladybug’s lips begin to curve up at the edges as she types, i trust him to help me

“You do?” 

Consumed with her tap dance along the keyboard, Ladybug completely misses the flush on his features, i do but dont tell him i said that

Adrien dips his head to the side and Ladybug’s knees quake at the sight, “How come? He would love to know that you trust him!”

he knows, Ladybug has to look away just to get a hold of herself, but if i tell him his head will get too big

Adrien begins to snicker and sits down alongside her, “I guess you’re kind of right. He probably loves getting compliments from you."

Ladybug doesn't bother typing out her answer, instead offering him an enormous nod; Chat Noir is and always has been a sucker for kind words.

Glancing towards the darkening sky, Adrien's traitorous stomach begins to rumble, "Nathalie is going to call me down for dinner soon. What should I bring back for you?"

Ladybug shrugs, honestly stumped, what do hamsters eat

“Good question,” Adrien scoots beside her and Ladybug’s heart leaps into her chest at the proximity, “Let’s Google it! Here,” Adrien gently lifts Ladybug up by the waist and sets her on his knee as he picks up the tablet with his other hand, propping it up in front of them for both of them to see. “Seeds, nuts, fruits and vegetables. That should be easy enough to smuggle back up into my bedroom.”

Ladybug turns her attention away from the tablet and gazes back up at Adrien, marvelling at just how huge he is for a moment. Everything is so much bigger when you’re a hamster — she gets that — but it doesn’t really click until you’re unwillingly forced to become one at the hands of an evil mastermind bent on terrorizing Paris.

“Uh, Ladybug? Are you okay?” Adrien’s enormous hand curls around her body and Ladybug desperately hopes he can’t feel her heart hammering through all of her silky fur, “You’re kind of zoning out on me.”

Squeaking a stammering apology, Ladybug tries and fails to gather her composure. And how can she? Adrien has his huge, warm hand wrapped around her body and she’s practically shaking with nervous energy, every synapse overwhelmed with the giddy excitement of being in love. This is both the best and worst day of her life and for what it’s worth, she’ll have to remember to bring Chat some extra pastries as a thank you once she’s back to her regular size.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I don’t want to leave you on your own if you’re not,” Adrien says and Ladybug melts at the concern in his voice. How did he come to be so unconditionally kind? And thoughtful? And so extremely good looking?

He must sense the way her tension drains from her body and he sighs in relief, gracing her again with his beautiful smile, “Alright, I’m going to leave you on the bed, okay? And you can watch or do whatever you want with my iPad. Mi casa es su casa, right?” he laughs, rubbing at the back of his neck, “Anyway, I won’t be long and when I come back, I’ll bring you something to eat and maybe we can watch a movie together? Would you like that?”

Ladybug nods, folding and refolding her little paws as she imagines the two of them watching a movie together. What would they watch? Would she sit beside him? Would he let her sit on his knee again?

“Perfect!” Adrien practically vibrates, setting Ladybug back down on his bedspread beside the iPad, “I’ll be back, Ladybug. See you soon!”

[lovenona]

LONG ask ahead, sorry T^T

*arrives in a hurry after 2-3 days* *slow, appreciative clap at the ted talk* sweetie, have you got any idea how much i adore hearing you ramble about the creation process??? seeing the whole love and dedication you hold for the odyssey makes my day! (and nooo, i'm totally not reading it again bc i want to have all of it in mind for tomorrow and bc it inspires me to no end hahaha what do you mean :) )

here comes yet another question: what kind of powers do you possess to write so beautifully. your writing literally punches me in the gut every single time, even the simplest of things!! it's hauntingly beautiful and i'm living for it!

(and another one) how did you find out how the odyssey was going to end?

also, it's rambling time because i've been thinking. (i do that sometimes.) each chapter title is a reference to a greek myth, and, in particular, odysseus' myth (no clue if i've written his name right, i've always knew him as "ulysse" in my mother tongue ^^;). and so my brain went: oooh nice, greek lore ^^ and then: yo wait. hold up. which brings me here: analysing the chapter titles. (bear with me please, and feel free to ignore my enthusiastic rambling/correct me if i'm wrong which i probs will)

so first, we have the prelude. david and calypso. while i'm sure david has his importance it's almost 1 am as i'm typing this so i'm going to focus on calypso. poor nymph is stuck in an island because of the will of gods for a reason i've forgotten. but here's the catch: while she cannot leave, others can come to her (good ol' odysseus for instance) until they leave her all alone again. and the cycle unfolds again and again. which brings us to a nice parallel with reader's situation at the beginnig. she, after all, is stuck on an island with no way out but stories. comes the dilf supreme toji aka an odysseus of sorts, until he leaves her. so she's alone again. calypso there illustrates a passive state of sorts. she cannot leave, or so she thinks: while she wants to, we don't see her try per se until sukuna comes in.

ah yes. sukuna’s arrival. chapter title: neptune’s hands. Neptune, god of the seas, all powerful, also known as Poseidon absolutely terrifying if provoked — which is something Odysseus did! well, man is smart enough not to do it to his face. but he did stab a cyclope, which happened to be neptune’s son. son who swore to a haughty Odysseus that he’d pay for it. in consequence: instead of going back to Ithaca without that much of trouble, Neptune goes: nope mate, and promptly sabotage his return (with a storm who leads his ship astray if my memory is correct). Neptune serves as a catalyst in here, to properly start the action. and it so happens to be sukuna’s role! he is, as well, the one who starts reader’s journey — well, odyssey in this case ;) — by making her this offer. plus, if we consider reader as being calypso, a nymph, and sukuna as being Neptune, a god, it shows their difference in power. sukuna is a fearsome curse, captain whose name is enough to strike fear in the cruellest pirate, who can and will kill reader should he get bored of her. reader is but a printer’s apprentice, so weak compared to him it hurts.

ah, yes. the narcissus pool aka siren gojo, aka me simping so hard for this man I might squirt with the mere mention of him. yes, siren gojo is that powerful, feel free to lure me in with them baby blues sweetie *blows him a kiss* hem. anyway. long story short, an oracle said: if narcissus sees his reflection, he’ll die. people prevent him from seeing himself. ofc man is so handsome it hurts and has women and men alike running after him, including a nymph named echo. he rejects her. hera is somehow involved in the mess and makes it so that he stumbles upon a river and sees himself. entranced by his beauty, he desperately tries to reach himself and stays near the river until he dies. this one is a bit trickier (especially considering I’m writing this as I go with no coherent preparation whatsoever but damn if I’m not having fun). but. *proceeds to read it again* *sighs in ‘why the hell ain’t siren!gojo real pls sir take me’* anyway. it’s never mentioned in narcissus’ myth, but I’m pretty sure he was tempted to look at himself. at least once, considering he could wonder why on earth all those people kept falling for his looks. (or he could be pretty dumb. let’s say he isn’t) so he’s tempted by his own reflection. just like reader’s tempted to follow segsy siren gojo. he doesn’t up until hera is involved and ends up seeing his reflection. he falls. not literally, but in love — with his own self. here it’s different (and the reason why i’m strugglingTM to gather coherent thoughts). gojo is the very embodiment of this temptation — so he acts as narcissus’ reflection here. he’s the one seducing reader, the one luring her until she falls in the waters, just like narcissus did. she didn’t die though, unlike him. (thank you sukuna. I guess. yes I would’ve given my life for gojo to consume me in both ways and??) now, this is very simp-tainted (sorry bout that ^^;) and the thing I’ve noticed is this: narcissus isn’t a character in the og odyssey. could it be bc to my absolute despair, gojo’s not as much of an important character as sukuna and toji? only you know!

(the hades, psyche analysis comes in tomorrow *looks @ time* *sees it's 1 AM* well, later on! have a lovely night/day!)

- the LRE (who's very happy tumblr allowed her to do paragraph breaks/to have a pirate history book recommandation! thanks about that one btw, it'll come in handy for a ff of mine (yeah it involves pirate gojo))

wait this is so precious n thoughtful oh my gosh 😭 thoughts n vibes under the cut :’) 

first of all THANK U!!!??? ur making me blush out here omg my hEART 😭 

as for ur first question, ur SO SWEET n IM LOSING IT bye i genuinely don’t know i just scream and throw a bunch of commas and metaphors everywhere and somehow things happen 💀 i read a lot (english major vibes) and it’s very helpful because i tend to imitate writers/phrases/books that inspire me while i'm figuring out how i want to write !! 

secondly: how did i figure out the ending of the odyssey??

answer: i think i just stumbled across this one 😭 i was brainstorming w my bestie (@/suedebunn) n she originally suggested a different version of the ending that i was like “oh wait” and then i played with it for awhile until i arrived at the version i have now ! i want to tell u more about how i arrived from point A to point B and what the process was but i will withhold because i am not giving anything away >:)

onto ur TITLE ANALYSIS!! this is SPECTACULAR! ur pretty much on the nose for all of them god damn i don’t have much to add :’) i’ll give u some of my takes tho!!

david and calypso – ur absolutely on the nose for the calypso aspect; david’s just a passing nod to the pirates of the caribbean portrayal of davy jones and the doomed relationship between him and calypso (mirroring the doomed relationship between toji and reader since he leaves them) 

neptune’s hands – yes! yeah! sexy! pirate sukuna is being compared to a sea god!! also a minor teaser but sukuna’s hands are important symbolically ;-) 

narcissus pool – ur brain is so big here god damn 🤲 narcissus is more of a loose reference to the idea of pride/ temptation and also hollowness/mirages (the emptiness of a reflection versus the tangibility of the real thing) so it’s not immediately a reference to the odyssey itself or even the myth (i'm taking creative liberties bye homer) but probably the best entity to use when describing gojo – the dichotomy between pride/emptiness is a lot more apparent in part 5 

gosh thank u sm for this!! excited to see what u have next!!!!!!

[ranposlittle]

Hey! I have a request! Could you do a Poe x Shy Poet reader? The reader insecure of themselves and their work but one day decided to share their work with Poe , and how tries to make them feel better about their work? (If you need some poetry for the reader I’ve wrote some poems I can give you one! Even tho I’m also insecure about my work) Sfw but fluffy please!

Genre: SFW, Fluff

Tags: Confession, Comfort

A/N: Here it is, poe-is-bean! I hope the fluff is enough and you find it worth the looong wait. Thank you so much for sharing your own poems to me (theyre great) and I hope I did them some justice ;-; ENJOYYY~ ٩( ๑^ ꇴ^)۶

((EDIT!!! idk if the read more break can be seen on mobile but when i was editing, there's a break after the ask & idk how to fix it so im so sorry aaa))

***

The room is so empty

I can hear my own heartbeat

Day and Night

The sound of pencil on paper

It echos

I just want someone to talk to

Someone to hold me close

To make the room feel less empty

The words faded on the white paper as the ink on your pen ran out. You clicked your tongue and sighed as you look around the park you're sitting at. Just the cherry on top of your already dismal day, you thought.

It was a cloudy day but you squinted at the harsh light of the sun peeking slightly through the wispy clouds. You leaned back on the warm bench and closed your tired eyes. You slowly inhaled the delicious summer air but your chest feels as hollow as the tube of ink inside your pen.

"Karl! No!"

A voice suddenly rang from somewhere near and as you sluggishly open your eyes to peek, something heavy and fuzzy landed on your lap, causing you to shriek and jump from your seat. Your heart raced from the surprise, but as you quickly realized that it was just a raccoon who got attracted by the leftover peanuts you have on your side, you heaved a sigh of relief.

"No! Stop that!" A man with messy hair and an outfit that's undoubtedly too hot for the weather rushed to you. His eyes are barely visible through his dark overgrown hair but it wasn't able to hide the handsome features beneath.

"It-it's okay," you said shyly, mentally hitting yourself for stuttering. "He can have it. I don't mind."

"I really do apologize," the unknown man said, his voice low and trembling. He scratch his temple in embarrassment. "Karl is just crazy for peanuts lately."

You just gave him a meek smile and fiddled with the notebook on your lap. You thought about how cute it is that he has a pet raccoon, how cute it is that he named it with such a humanly name, and how cute he is.

Wait, what.

Heat rushed from your body and up to your face, feeling foolish for having such a thought with someone you just met. You hunched to hide your face, fearing the stranger would see the blush covering your cheeks.

"Can I sit with you?" He asked, snapping you away from your thoughts. "M-my name is Edgar, by the way. Edgar Allan Poe."

Your eyes traveled up his slender form. Despite his dark clothing, his timid and humble appearance made it easier for you to let him enter into your space. He thanked you and asked for your name in return. And just like that, your otherwise usual and grey day became colorful like the evening sky as you sat there beside him, familiarizing yourselves with each other while the innocent racoon eat the rest of the stale peanuts on the bench.

Is this a dream?

Is it real?

He was so close

Yet so far

We sat together for hours

The time was ours

But now it’s not

It slipped away

So quickly

Birds chirped around you as you looked up from your writing, searching through your surroundings and hoping to see the stranger once again. The more hours that passed, the more that you're starting to believe that it was just all somehow a vivid hallucination. You sighed in defeat and eyed another blank spot on your notebook. You thought about writing another poem about how sometimes, it's better to stay in an illusion than face reality because at least in your daydreams, wonderful things happen.

You pressed the tip of your pen on the paper to write the first letter of your work when all of a sudden, the ink bled all over the page, causing you to spat a curse under your breath. You quickly handled the situation, making sure that your clothes and the rest of your notbeook isn't affected by another one of your daily misfortunes. You groaned and pulled out the wipes out of your bag, aggressively wiping the stubborn ink blots on your hand.

"Um, are you okay, (Y/N)?"

You glared up to the quiet voice that called out your name. The tightness of your facial muscles from frowning slowly loosening up as you recognize the figure in front of you.

Poe's tall physique shaded you from the blazing sun and from where you are sitting, he looked just like a dream; a mirage that manifested out of your imagination and into your reality.

"I'm... I'm okay," you mumbled. Your heart thumped heavily against your ribcages as you remain frozen, your wide eyes glued to him as if you're scared that he'll disappear if you blink.

He flashed you a bright smile and gingerly sat beside you. Poe eyed the notebook on your lap and saw the familiar structure of the words on it.

"You write poems?" He asked with excitement evident on his voice, pulling you back to the ground. As Poe reached out to have a closer look with the item, you swiftly pulled away.

"Don't!" You exclaimed. The volume of your voice made nearby passerbys turn their heads on your direction and Karl critter on Poe's shoulder as if by surprise, too.

Poe was taken aback by your reaction as well but being a creator himself, he quickly understand that there is a certain reservation an artist have with its works. He understands the insecurity of being not good enough or questioning yourself as to why are you even trying when there's always someone out there that can do better than you. He knows the feeling very well.

"I'm sorry," he said calmly. "I know an artist's works are always very personal. I shouldn't have intruded."

Guilt spilled all over you and spread a bitter taste on your mouth. "I'm sorry, too," you sighed after a while. "I'm just not ready to show it to anyone yet. It's not your fault."

"I understand. I am a writer myself," Poe said with a gentle smile. "However, if the time has come when you've finally found the courage within you to be proud of yourself and your creations as an extension of yourself, it'll be my pleasure if you'll have me as the first person that would ever lay eyes on it."

Poe's words echoed to the deepest parts of your being. You felt bare to the bones, like everything that you've tried so hard to hide is just somehow exposed for him to see. Gone was his timid character and he's now exuding confidence; a sense of sureness in everything that can only come to people who has been through the ringer and survived to be an inspiration. Your eyes glistened to see another layer of his natural mystique unfold in front of you. Right then, you were filled with the hunger to know more, to uncover more, and to see more of his fascinating self.

Karl climbed down from Poe's shoulder, searched for something on his layered clothes and ran to your lap with an object wedged between his pointy mouth.

"It's a gift," Poe explained when Karl dropped an expensive looking pen in front of you. "I hope you never stop creating, despite of life's minor inconveniences."

"Would you meet me here again tomorrow?" You asked without you even realizing that you were speaking aloud and feeling the weight of your question only after it's done.

Poe tensed up on his seat. Your question was unexpected and it made his own heart raced for a reason he can't quite explain. However, seeing your eyes looking more alive than when he first met you delighted him and he gave you a humble smile.

"Karl has an appointment with the vet tomorrow," he said with his usual gentle voice. "But we can meet at the cafe nearby after."

Your heart soared way above the cloudless sky that day as a big smile stretched your lips and you felt like you haven't smiled like this for a while now. You accepted his invitation and noted the place and time on your notebook. For the first time in a long time, you felt thankful. You thank yourself for being able to push the words out, albeit almost unconsciously, and you thanked life. Despite the mishaps and blunders it brings you everyday, it gave you the opportunity to meet someone. A someone who made you look at everything in beautiful colors you don't even see before. You view everything so differently now; everything including yourself.

Months have passed since that fateful day and you still can vividly remember how your world shifted from then on like it was just yesterday. You meet Poe with any spare time you have and with every moment you spent with him, you got to know all of the layers of his being and in return, he got to know yours. You felt like you're rediscovering yourself as you open up to him. You felt freer. As time went on, a certain feeling crept up on you. It was a strange but awfully familiar feeling that sits inside your chest, like an everlasting bonfire that warms you up from inside out.

The paperback cover of the notebook crunched as you gripped on it tightly. Your mind is foggy with nervousness and immediately doubting if you've made the right decision to finally show him your poems. You shifted on the same bench you sat the first time that you've met and you waited for Poe, all kinds of imaginary scenarios playing in your head in the meantime.

"Hey, (Y/N)!"

You finally heard his familiar voice, a sound that no music can compare to. He was cheerily waving at you, you waved back and nervously greeted him. You laid peanuts on the bench for Karl and he happily hopped off of Poe's back to get on his treats.

"So, you've finally found your courage, huh?" He said before sitting down on his usual spot beside you. "I'm really proud of you, (Y/N). I know it wasn't easy. This is a big step for you and I want to thank you for choosing me."

Your anxiety dissipated in a snap. The flames on your heart grew bigger and brighter with his encouraging words. This tender moment solified your suspicion; you're absolutely, undoubtedly, sincerely in love with him.

"No, Poe," you replied, "I should be the one thanking you. You're the one who showed me that I have that courage inside me in the first place. I can't even begin to explain how you've changed my life."

"Well, that's what art is for, isn't it? To help us express what our words can't," Poe said, his warm smile never leaving his lips. "Besides, my words wouldn't mean anything if you didn't made the decision yourself. It's all you, (Y/N). Give yourself more credit, won't you?"

You beamed at him, the fluttering feeling on your chest continue to grow and filled every part of your being where you used to feel hollow. Your fears disappeared and you handed him your notebook like you're handing him your heart. Poe reached out for it, handling it as gently as you would a china doll.

You sighed contently and gaze at the clear sky above you as you let Poe flip through the pages of your notebook like you're letting him flip through the pages of your life. Every experience you've went through, every emotions, every secret thoughts and desires and everything that lead up to the person you are now; all of them contained in a single book.

Karl muched on the last peanut you laid out for him as Poe reached the last poem.

 Love, what a beautiful thing

It makes my heart flutter

No matter how much I mutter

I always stutter

Those simple words

It races when he’s near

And falls when he’s far

Why can’t I tell him?

Poe's concealed eyes widened and his racing heartbeat vibrated on his whole body. He knows it's an absurd thought to assume the poem is about him but somehow, he was certain that it was. He thought that perhaps it's just wishful thinking brought by his delirious affection he's been hiding from you for a time now.

"You're really promising, (Y/N)," his voice wobbled as he said your name and he cleared his throat as he tried to give you a more constructive feedback. "I can really feel the emotions on your works. Every artist has their own way of making art and you shouldn't feel insecure with how you choose to express yourself. Art isn't about pleasing other people, it's only about you. If you're confident with yourself and your work, other people will reflect that. All you have to do is to stay true to yourself. And as far as I know, you are capable of making more beautiful poems, because you're beautiful."

The distant sounds of people and animals in the busy park rang as the both of you froze on your spots, equally taken aback by Poe's compliment.

"I–I–I mean, you're a great person, that's all," Poe stammered, full of worry for his well-kept secret.

You turned your blushing face away from him and chewed on your lips. Thoughts on whether you should finally admit to him your feelings rushed through your mind. Karl, finished with his snack, climbed on your lap and looked at you as if he's conveying a message. You know that he's probably just asking if you have any more peanuts for him but at that moment, you took it as an encouragement for you to tell him about the nagging feeling inside you that occupies every corner of your mind.

"The last poem," you told Poe while looking at the ground, "I wrote it for you."

Poe once again picked up the notebook, turned it on the last entry and re-read it. He felt like he's being choked out of air as he drowned on the exuberant joy he's feeling as he realized what you meant. His head whipped at your direction, looking at your fidgeting form and felt an urge.

He moved closer to you and gently called out your name. When you turn your head to face him, he reached out and touched your cheek. His finger traced along your jawline and ended on your chin. Although his eyes are barely visible, you can see the solemnity of his gaze and your heart skipped a beat.

"I feel the same way, (Y/N)," Poe confessed as his thumb caressed your lower lip.

You were happy. You were happier than you've ever been in your entire life and yet, your eyes strained as tears threatened to fall. You smiled at Poe and slowly closed your eyes, giving him the permission his gentle touches are asking.

Poe's lips closed in on yours and the rest of the world was quiet as you return his kiss, letting your feelings unravel and tangle against each other. Everything felt right, like every puzzle piece has been put in their place and the picture is complete. You felt the satisfaction, the pleasure, the joy and the pride. You finally understood why there are so many stories, poems, songs and artworks about love. It's just one of those things that can only be truly explained through art. One thing is certain in your head now: love, it is truly such a beautiful thing.

[narcosmx]

dating joaquin ‘el chapo’ guzman would include

a/n: did i scream throughout the whole creation of this because i am absolutely heart eyes for chapo? yeah what about it, my dude (( also whispers just saying this is my opinion on what that character in narcos would be like based on what we’ve ssen of him so faR BYE)

okay first and foremosT you will never, ever not be smiling or laughing with this man i’m sorry he lives to see you happy and he will do absolutely anything to make you laugh

hes like what do i need to do??? do i need to roast someone bring up the arellano-felix gang!! do i need come up with a whole stand up routine?? do i need to get your candy???

if all else fails he’s tickling you until you’re crying laughing and he can be proud of himself

this little shit would be the biggest prankster and either he’s going to prank you every waking minute he has or he’s going to bring you along to prank other people AKA cochi and ocasionally the af gang because why the fuck not !!

you’d always catch him staring at you, at first he’d get all shy and look away with this stupidly big smile on his face but now he just shakes his head and tells you how beautiful you look

him lowkey worshipping the ground you walk on and spoiling you and it’s not necessarily in the same way that ramon does where he showers you in expensive gifts

chapo is the one making you breakfast in the morning and brining you a cup of coffee to bed 

the one that remember stupid little things about you like what your favorite candy is so he can bring you some whenever he goes out 

would give you the literal shirt off of his back if you asked; and he is always always always wrapping his jacket around you, would run into the house and get you a san marcos blanket to wrap you up in we

okay we all know he’s such a fucking momma’s boy so he’d itake such pride in taking you to his home town and introducing you to his mom 

he’d be nervous but like giddy excited type of nervous and when he’s introducing you to his mom him being like “ma te presento el amor de mi vida”

screeching AH 

you and his mom hiting it off insantly because she seems like such a sweet, loving lady and now there’s two people to take care of chapito

his mom telling you that you should def yell at him if he like stepped on the cold floor bare foot

i have this picture of you and chapo’s ama in the kitchen like drinking coffee and giggling to each other, exchanging stories and chapo is looking up at you with MOTHERFUCKING HEART EYES

there is no need for you to find a seat ever, ever again he’s going to have you on his lap every waking second 

but not even in a sexual way, just sitting with legs across his laps and he’s just hugging you and you’re snuggling into his neck and he’s giving you besitos and whispering in your ear checking in on you every once in a while 

worries about you a lot; not even if you’re safe but like is he making you happy, are you living the life you deserve to live, just second guessing himself 

him laying in bed and thinking about it, with you asleep on is chest and he’s thinking and then he hears you murmuring or stirring and sees you and everything else melts away

could you imagine how proud he would be showing you stuff that he like accomplished 

look im still trying to figure out if he would let you know about the business or not 

but if he did tHE LITTLE TWINKLE IN HIS EYE HE WOULD GET SHOWING YOU HIS TUNNEL GOD

but to go off of that, he would be such a little handy man

would fix anything and everything for you, does it matter that he doesn’t know how? no he’s sure as hell going to figure it out

that’s how he shows his manliness being able to build you shit, being able to fix your shit, checking your oil ugh bebe

not super duper into pda because imagine him perserving your honor and just being protective of you in that light idk my dude 

hed just be old school and that warms my heart more than anything 

him standing on the side of the street where the cars are just in case 

refuses to let you open a door

but if anything happened to you, yall remember his face when he shot those guys in tj after they ruined his tunnel THAT TIMES TEN and hector and cochi are rIGHT BEHIND HIM BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU TO DEATH TOO

listen you need to listen to eres by christian nodal and that will describe how he is at you perfectly

sorry i got carried ...a ...w..ay 🥺

[slut-for-fandoms]

Paint me yours (kth x reader) PART 1

Pairings: Artist!Taehyung x reader

Genre: smut, fluff, angst (in the following chapters) 

Summary:  You are an art college student who struggles with finances. Until one day, on an exhibition of the arising artist Kim Taehyung, when the same boy offers you a job as his model. Would it be just a simple job or would it complicate your life in ways you have never thought it would?

Warnings: none in this one (perhaps my bad writing and lots of mistakes?) 

A/N: So here is the first chapter. I really don’t know what to think about it as i haven’t written anything in more than a year (so sorry guys but now I am back, yey) I really do hope you like it and please let me know what you think and whether you would like to be tagged in the series ♥ Enjoy 

Euphoria. Excitement. Happiness. Exaltation. A complete symphony of colors and emotions. Blue, purple, violet, azure - blended in such a way that glues you to the masterpiece. At places it seems unfinished, raw, as though the creator has been in a hurry. But at the same time it is so detailed that you wonder how long it took him to create it. It represents a woman, or to be more precise, a young girl. Long hair composed with ochre, amber, honey and a hint of gold, covers half of her pale face. Her lips are the perfect combination of red, cheery, wine and auburn. An orderly chaos of colors.

While everything seems just as raw painting, the most capturing features are the eyes. They are so detailed and express the condition of the girl. The sparks that make her look tangible grabs you on a roller coaster of thoughts and feelings and somehow makes you even experience the same state.  I move to the next painting.

Sadness. Affliction. Pain. Torment. The contrast between the used shades is much deeper. Pale yet dark. The more I look at it, the more it captivates me. All of the creations I saw were beyond amazing, complete masterpieces but this one… This one is different. One look and I got this strange feeling in my guts when we anticipate something bad, something that might hurt us.

The background is composed of dark shades, while the girl is sculpted of the pale range of colors. Again, the most detailed parts are the eyes. You get the feeling as if a soul was trapped inside the drawn girl that shows how much she suffers. The more you contemplate, the more you assume that the darkness around her represents the cruel world, while the bright yet shaded colors shows how fragile and broken she is. Is it from the world? What destroyed her? Who made her look like a shattered vase which parts are no longer going to form its beautiful shape?

Holding my glass of champagne I took some steps back and sat on the settee opposite the painting. Thanks god it wasn’t that low as they use to be in other galleries. I crossed my legs which caused the hem of my black dress to roll up slightly. As an art student, I tend to visit many exhibitions in order to get inspiration, gain knowledge of the new and unorthodox styles and improve mine. I can’t say I am complaining as we are given free access to any kind of such events. This is beyond amazing as now I am contemplating the art of one of the rising artists – Kim Taehyung. Honestly, I have never seen him but the critics consider him the new Van Gogh and now I understand why.

When I came I was so uneven about it, all the people here were rich and classy and I, a broken student with a cheap dress borrowed from her friend, had no place here. Everything was out of my league and I felt like garbage disfiguring this place.

“You seem really immersed into the picture.”, someone chucked, bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked up and saw man in golden suit and two glasses of champagne in his hands. His smile was so bright, genuine, that it made me blush slightly, “May I?”, he titled his head towards the settee as if asking if it was free.

“Ye- yeah, of course”, I stuttered and put a lock of fallen hair behind my ear.

His smile grew bigger and he took the free seat next to me.

“Here.”, he gave me one of the glasses. I looked up at him confused, “I saw that you have already finished yours so…”, I looked at my glass which was empty. I might have stayed there for a way longer time that I have thought. I left the glass on the floor next to the settee.

“Thank you.”, I gave him a smile, although inside I was feeling embarrassed, “Very fond of you.”, I said after taking the offered glass.

“Well, I just wouldn’t have forgiven myself if I have left such a beautiful lady sitting here by her side. The champagne was just an excuse to approach you.”, I bit my lip and tried to hide myself due to the blush that crept on my face.

“You are even more appealing when blushing.”, okay, I have never believed I could become so red but here I am.

“Please, stop.”, I stuttered through the smile that just grew bigger on my face.

“Why?”, he tilted his head and asked me with that sweet smirk still placed on his face, his eyes never leaving my figure, “you don’t like honest people?”, as a response I chuckled and tried to gain my dignity and look at him. Why was I such a blushing mess around this… stranger…a handsome stranger?

“It is just that you are the first one to approach me this evening.”, a slight feeling of sadness made my stomach turn as I recall the events, pardon, the lack of them from this night. I started playing with my hands as something as pity overwhelmed me.

“Well-”, his deep baritone voice made me look at him. This time he was facing the painting in front of us which gave me the opportunity to survey him. Soft pink lips, sweet roundy nose, medium long light eyelashes. Skin in the color of bronze and a golden suit that make him look like a god. Aristocratic hands with long fingers, adorned with rings. The way he is holding the glass gives you the thoughts that a prince is sitting oppose you, “It is their lose.”, he states after locking his eyes with mine. And then I’m completely lost. They are just like the sad girls’ in the paintings – full of emotions. I see the same spark that leads directly to his soul. It captivates you. There is love, care, tenderness that make my heart skips a beat. But also you can spot something wild and intriguing. An abyss of feelings kept locked deep inside.

He took a sip of his champagne which caught my attention and made me break the eye contact. How could such a simple action as drinking makes me wanna grab the brushes and paint this gorgeous creature on the canvas?

“I can’t say I am complaining of that.”, I followed his movements and took a taste of my drink, “They seem like they are here only for talking. All of them are just chit-chatting and just at times spare a glance at the paintings. It – It just looks like a gathering of the rich and bitchy class.”, suddenly he burst into laughing. Oh that sound… It was like a soft melody for my years I could listen to all day. It was so infectious and addicting.

“What?”, I asked confused but with a smile plastered on my face.

“I couldn’t have said it more correctly. I’ve met everybody in the gallery and yet you are the only one contemplating the works.”

“Isn’t that what we are supposed to do on an exhibition? But apart from that, these paintings, these masterpieces…”, I took a breath like looking at the sad girl opposite me, “they are captivating. There is life in them, there is soul. Undoubtedly the artist is one of the best I’ve ever come across. Many have the ability to draw, few have the talent to create a masterpiece, something that makes you stop and think. And these here, they indeed convey more than a hundred words.”

“And where do you think that comes from?”, he asks me in that deep voice of his. I turn my attention back on him to see the man already looking at me with a stern expression showing nothing.

“The ability to make a painting live?”, he nodded his head in agreement, “Pain.”

“Pain?”

“Pain. It is always the pain. Why do you think the greatest artists are those who have suffered the most?  Sadness, sorrow, ache, agony… they are different than the other feelings. When something good happens to you, you are happy for a short moment. Usually those moments tends to be forgotten way easier than the moments that our soul was in pain. It is just that the affliction we bottle inside us ruins us in the end. The knots in our stomach, the suffocating feeling in our chest… they are tormenting us and we all need a way to express them somehow, to try to get them out of us. And the answer is always the art. It doesn’t matter whether it would be with a brush or a pen in our hands, if we are going to compose a poem, song or just draw something.  We just want the pain away. For its tight fist around our hearts to weaken, for its dark thoughts to leave us at peace at night, for the tears to stop rolling down and choke us.”, I paused in order to take a sip of my champagne, feeling his eyes following my movements, “That is one of the reasons why I like this one so much.”, I continued pointing at the work before us, “It look as if not only the model had been sad, but also the artist.”, when I turned around he had a sad smile on his face. For a moment I saw the abyss – full of sorrow and regret, pain and affliction.

“You can’t be more right.”, and once again, as he looked up, the door to his soul closed with that stern expression, “That is why I don’t know whether I like this work or not.”

“It recalls a bad event?”

“It recalls the day I painted her.”

My eyes were so wide that surely they were going to pop out of my head. I opened my mouth, then close it, then opened it again. I was so shocked that I could say nothing.

“I still remember how heartbroken she was.”

“You- you are the artist?”, my voice raised an octave higher and I cursed myself.

“Surprised?”, he asked smiling at my shocked expression.

“You just caught me off guard.”

And then the rest of the night kind of slips my mind. I don’t really know how long we’d been talking through various topics. Whatever felt like hours had only been half an hour once I saw the watch on my hand.

“Unfortunately, as a host, I need to make a speech. It was nice to meet you -”

“(Y/N)!”, answering I took his hand as he helped me get up from the settee.

“(Y/N).”, he said tasting my name and I could not miss the way his tongue rolled and the deep voice that sent shivers down my spine, “A beautiful name for a way more gorgeous girl.”

“Why are you trying to make my blush so hard?”, I asked trying to hide my face.

“I don’t know. I just like it.”, he shrugged with a smile, “Can I ask you something, (Y/N)?”, is it just me or he just lowered his voice on purpose while saying my name.

“O-Of course.”, out of nervousness I started playing with my own hands which only made his smirk grow bigger.

“Would you like to be my model, darling?”

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 4 - The Poisoned Chalice

- god fucking dammit here we go again, i'm bloody done with my life and do not, at all, want to see merlin die bc i don't remember anything except that, yeah, he dies and someone has to get off their ass and save the motherfucking day and kiss him

- i realise how much i swear in these posts bc 1. when do i not? 2. i'm emotionally invested 3. i have no other excuse i just like swearing

- AAAND NIMUEHS IN CAMELOT SHE THINKS SHE'S SO SLY WITH HER HEAD THING

- id recognise her in a split second tbfh, she aint subtle

- *heterosexual tension*

- merlins skin be looking so smooth this episode, this boy be wearing lots of Dove

- he looked so excited to be in the banquet, then arthur just fucking slashes him with “not quite” and his hopes and dreams are destroyed

- “wanna see what you’ll be wearing tonight?” arthur says as he's behind the fucking changing curtains, about to get undressed and show merlin his birthday suit

- i honest to god thought that was where he was going, but no, he was just getting something from behind it

- “tonight you’ll be wearing the official ceremonial robes of the servants of camelot” IT'S A FUCKING DRESS ISN'T IT

- aw damn id have preferred a dress

- that smile shared between them was the most adorable scene

- god

- i

- fucking

- love

- their

- smiles 

- sm

- best thing ive ever seen

- i mean… hunty look at that piece of glistening butter beauty

- wow ok back to the episode:

- bros being bros and giving each other a handshake to destroy the mortal enemy pack and put together a family, we stan.

- as if a servant who has only had eye sex with another servant ONCE would trust them enough to say that one of the chalices were poisoned. like??? “ur the only one i could tell” LMAO NO?

- she's a sly fucking dog tfbh

- “if he kills arthur, uthers soul will be broken and camelot will fall” at this rate uther prob wouldn't care if his son dies or not, look at him, he's already mentally broken. he has anxiety and paranoia over magic. child services where u at in the medieval ages?

- i wouldn't believe a word she said, or well, id have believed it was poisoned but id say yeah no damn way you aren't in on it if you know which one it is. bayard wouldn't tell a fucking servant.

- HE'S GONNA SNAP ISN'T HE

- MERLIN FUCKING SNAPPED

- yknow what we say here folks? U DO U MERLIN

- okay i was fine if uther made bayard drink it but like the moment uther said “mmmh… no.” and slowly turned to merlin i think my arteries just crunched together and died so

- “if it is poisoned, he’ll die” HE'S FUCKING SCARED MERLIN WILL PASS AWAY ISN'T HE?

- “it's fine” he says, then starts to fucking choke

- ah fuck he's down

- my boy is down

- FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW

- ARTHUR CROUCHES NEXT TO HIM LIKE “BB NO”

- lmfao bayard looks so shocked, his face is in disbelief and confusion, he's like who tf done me bad

- arthurs carrying merlin fireman style this is what i live for folks

- did like nobody notice the flower stuck on the inside of the cup? like honestly if you take a sip you’d kinda spot it or perhaps even the person pouring the drinks would have been “is this chamomile tea? no? then what the fuckery-doo is this leaf in here for?” yknow. it's like that scene in Matilda when the angry buff lady completely missed a fucking salamander in her cup when it was the size of her bloody hand. it brings out the same mood honestly

- does gaius have an index for these books or does he just have every page memorised and know exactly what page to go bc I FUCKING NEED THAT it would make bio so much easier if i knew what page it was on instead of looking back and forth from the homework sheet to my textbook, then closing it by accident and having to find the index again for that specific page i need

- arthur wants to fucking go on a life-or-death journey to save merlin i've never been so happy

- this is honestly my favourite episode, like it may be really fucking angsty but i love it so much

- arthur betrays his dad and leaves his room even after being told not to just so he can save a servants life is literally my new moto

- NO IT WON'T LOAD MY NETFLIX IS STUCK ON 99%

- okay so while i'm waiting for my shit to load, i just discovered the new fucking tumblr rule starting dec 17 and i'm like 0.2 inches away from just spamming NSFW pics on here just for laughs

- like hunty, that won't stop people from posting elsewhere or for thinking about sex bc like??? whatchu gonna do tumblr?? get the fbi to erase it from our minds

- i think nOT thot

- watch me get flagged for just using the fucking term “NSFW”

- i'm gonna end up asterisking everything (is asterisking a word? wow it has red under it so like probably not but i just added it to my dictionary so uhh it is now)

- by asterisking i dont mean furry kin shit ew no

- i mean like N*FW, s*x, t*mblr, m*rthur

- god it took me like 20 minutes to calibrate my fucking wifi and fix the connection problem

- wow the stage for the poison increased by 75% in 30 mins, damn

- merlins like like having a conniption on his bed lmao, chanting arthurs name and sweating lot

- do we ever find out how uther gets that scar bc i'm like 100% positive arthur was a little child and swayed his fucking sword too hard just as uther rounded the corner. the sword then collided into his fucking brain and destroyed a good part of his intelligence, targeting especially his morals on how to accept people and how to be a good father

- that’s my theory

- merlin starts talking enchantments in his sleep while gwens watching, and gaius is just there like wtf merlin ur blowing ur cover “oh! gwen!! uhhh sorry. he’s just... in a latin study group in his pastime and has an oral presentation in minutes”

- omg, nimueh, stfu

- i didn't know dinosaurs existed back then, this reptile be whack

- y’know what's funny? ppl thinking dinosaurs didn’t exist. i find creationism very very very intriguing bc how fucking stupid could you be

- that sword throw was faker than my moms tits

- arthur could have done better

- k but like what if merlin’s hand wasn’t under the covers? like he was just throwing that blue ball around right in front of gwen

- can arthur like not hear her? nimuehs literally enchanting the rocks right behind his ear lobes and arthur acts nothing of it until those said rocks collapse and he gasps and suddenly he realises shes evil

- also his fucking hair in this scene looks glorious. perhaps bc it's pushed back rather than his bowl cut, but its doing things to my abdomen

- i thought for a second she was pulling off her mask to say “nimueh” and arthur was gasping bc he only recognised her after her hair was shown, just like in that scene with joker and harvey in the hospital

- OH RIGHT THE SPIDERS I LIKE COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THOSE SONS OF A GUNS

- i’d be dead if those spiders came crawling up to eat me lmfao

- k so nimueh went from :) to >:D in half a second

- i'm smelling up those symbolisms, boys

- watch out pals cause here are some of them:

- merlin is the LIGHT of arthur’s life

- he LIGHTS up the party

- he gives arthur a BRIGHTER future

- he's the GUIDE for his path

- hahhahahaha

- i'm serious when i say i have a huge fear of insects (spiders count in that too, no discrimination) so i'm just putting that there, saying to yall id be fucking terrified

- gaius would be so confused, like we don't see his face here but merlins close-up sweaty concentrated frown, but he’s literally just screaming “ARTHUR!!” “FASTERRR!!” “YESS!!” “CLIMB!!!” gaius would be looking like he walked into something he wasn't supposed to. prob thinking he should just let the kid die so he doesn’t have to deal with this shit anymore

- UTHER LOCKED HIS SON AWAY I'M FUCKING QUESTIONING HIS PARENTING SKILLS

- that's grounding???? throwing ur child in prison???

- yes 999 can i have child services on his ass

- gwens so smart honestly i love her

- pretending to be a maiden for the food, god what a queen

- arthur buying it and saying “yuck you say this is food?! disgustang!”

- the fact that i misspelled disgusting but it autocorrected to disgustang (which is originally what i wanted but autocorrect shouldn’t have known) makes me consider if i should really check my dictionary…. who knows what words are on there

- they’re so smart

- and then this fucker ruins it all while eating his food, checking her out and saying yeah arthurs a prick, hyuck hyuck, realising only that wait fuck u aint the maiden

- how’d they know GWEN was the one not supposed to have delivered the food, what if it was that chick right there???

- welll….. maybe it's because gwen took her sweet time up those steps, staring as if she couldn’t blink at the guards below

- i forget what happens at the end of this episode besides the kiss, and there's like 9 minutes left my fingers may rot at this point

- wake him up! wake him up!

- OH WAIT HE DOESN'T FUCKING WAKE UP DOES HE AND EVERYONE PANICS

- YEAH OKAY I'M SEEING THAT NOW

- MERLIN STOPPED BREATHING

- LMAO GWEN IS IN TEARS

- “HE'S DEAD” SHE SAYS

- ARTHUR BB COME IN HERE TO KISS UR HUBBY ALIVE

- OH WAIT UR IN FUCKING PRISON

- WAIT UP, HE'S ALIVE AND SHE KISSES HIM AFTERWARDS????

- FUCK ME I THOUGHT FOR THE WHOLE EPISODE THE KISS HAPPENED BC HE COULDN'T WAKE UP THAT'S FUCKING WITH ME I DIDN'T KNOW

- i keep forgetting to switch up the cap locks, sorry if it seems im screaming im legit using my inside voice for most of the time just emphasizing my words a little more

- goddamn, everytime they say mercia i just think of “murica”, like those americans on the 7th of july or whatever date the “we love our country” day is, chanting it as they throw around beers and fireworks as people gather round in jerseys or crop tops

- it's not that hard to spot the european on here

- the most celebrated holiday here which contains a lot of beers and big pub gatherings (besides every fucking night honestly) is either new years, lowkey stereotypically correct saint patricks, and ig easter monday but that's more for the kiddos

- i mean ofc christmas and all that shit but im not the most devoted christian, i just like presents and small gatherings among good friends

- wow okay it wasn't the 7th of july

- i mean at first i looked up “USA day” (i couldn’t remember the name) and it popped up today’s date, and i was like no thats not it at all. dec?? its in like july i think. and i was close! it was july 4th.

- uther damn knows it's nimueh!!!

- i mean, he just overheard morgana and arthur talk about it, and initiated himself into a convo about it once morgana left, as his sneaky ass just slithered up like “hey man, u know that woman? yeah uhh, what she say? anything about me? no? k i know who it is tho”

- i thought he was going to apologize or like explain to arthur what's the sitch, but he just waits for five whole seconds before saying. “those who practice magic know only evil. they despise and seek to destroy goodness wherever they find it.”

- arthur, confused: sounds as if you know her

- uther, walking away: i do

- arthur:

- wow k lots of fucking quotes here cause it's the merthur reunion

- get ready babs

- arthur: still alive then?

- merlin: oh yes, just about… i understand i have you to thank for that

- arthur, leaning on the chair merlin is sitting in, stifling a smile: ah it's nothing, a half-decent servant is hard to come by. i was only dropping by to make sure you’re alright… i.... expect you to be back to work tomorrow

- merlin, watching arthur as he slightly walks away having embarrassed himself: arthur... thank you

- arthur, slowly: you too

- they stare for like 5 whole seconds

- arthur, uncomfortable: well… get some rest

- there we go folks: my eulogy.

- hope someone reads it at my funeral

[obsidianarchives]

Ashley Romans

Ashley Romans started her formal acting training at Pace University School of Performing Arts. She moved to Los Angeles immediately after graduating in 2015.  Los Angeles theater credits include:  Celebration's Charm (Beta), Rotterdam (StageRaw and LADCC award recipients).  Film/Television credits include: "I'm Dying Up Here" and "Shameless" (Showtime), "Are You Sleeping?" (Apple TV), "Hermione Granger and the Quarter Life Crisis" (Sunshine Moxie), "NOS4A2" (AMC new series).

Black Girls Create: What do you create?

I’m an actor. I create by acting. Collaborating with writers, directors, designers, and visionaries in whichever medium possible to hopefully create an honest reflection of a being’s life experience.

BGC: How do I create?

I suppose my entire creative process begins with healthy self trickery. Not quite deception but more healthy, playful, self manipulation. Naturally as creators we have a way of resisting and fearing whatever it is we most want to bring about into the world. Similar to a mother’s fear of giving birth or raising a child, we think “what if the world doesn’t receive my creation well? What if people are mean? What if it’s not healthy or ready?” I often find myself trying to bribe or trick my way out of this fear. I trick myself into going into my next audition as confidently as I can, or preparing for that day on set when I really don’t want to, or finding some connection with a character trait I find reprehensible.

I also think it is very important to stay relaxed and loose so one can reach a playful and spiritual place of creativity. So I try and keep myself healthy; mentally, spiritually, and physically by reading, eating healthy, journaling, praying, meditating, and exercising.  

BGC: How did you get into acting?

I would say my professional pursuit officially began when I went to study theater at Pace University in New York City for my undergraduate degree, but for as long as I can remember I always had an interest in acting. I loved watching ‘90s action/drama movies with my father and “I Love Lucy” reruns with my mother as a child at all hours of the day. I became even more interested in theater and performance through high school choir, joining community summer camps, and doing the spring high school musical.

Even as an adolescent I felt it was best to keep my professional aspirations to myself in fear of naysayers. In retrospect, I understand now that high school is a time a lot of young people are dealing with self doubt and insecurity. Considering that I was far from the funniest, smartest, or most talented individual in the theater department, I, unconsciously, kept my performing ambitions quiet even from the people closest to me because I didn’t want to risk someone rubbing their self doubt on me. I worked up the courage to audition for a couple of acting schools but I told no one except my acting teacher Douglas Hooper and a few very close mates.

I still abide by this privacy philosophy even now and it hasn’t steered me wrong to this day. I still feel that speaking one’s dreams and aspirations among chaotic or unsupportive energy environment would most likely dissipate or poison their own source.  

Eventually after graduating from Pace University through a couple months of tumbling I landed representation for acting with a management company and I moved out to Los Angeles. I’ve been able to land some great acting opportunities and gain a supportive team of people and I could not be more grateful.

BGC: What has been your favorite role so far?

I have so many favorites. The roles that stand out to me as my favorite are the ones that have most challenged me and allowed me to explore a different aspect of life, and explore and connect to the full range of the human experience. I’ve received some of my most valuable acting lessons in various roles in the theater. I played Inez, a red dressed-vixen-leading lady with a passionate, deep-seeded hatred for her ex-husband in Stephen Adly Guirgis’ Our Lady of 121st. Two years ago I played Beta, a young teenage gang affiliated boy in Chicago with a secret in Phillip Dawkins’s play Charm at Celebration Theater. This coming March I will be part of the Kirk Douglas’s production Rotterdam by Jon Brittain. Set in the Netherlands, I will play Fiona/Adrian, one half of a modern London couple who decides to make a huge change in their life. My experience acting in these productions specifically has been positively nurturing. Throughout our rehearsal process, I learned what it means to be not just a more nuanced and skilled actor but also a more supportive and capable teammate in the creative process.

In terms of film/television world, my work as Hermione Granger in Sunshine Moxie’s Hermione Granger and the Quarter Life Crisis remains my greatest acting lesson in the film/television/on-camera discipline.  Eliyannah Yisrael, Megan Grogan, Alice Pierce, other writers and producers leveled up my game up. I’ve never before been number one on the call sheet and I’m not sure if I ever will again, but having that responsibility was so enlightening. It was also an invaluable learning experience getting to work with those amazing creators and seeing those women just get shit done. It was truly an honor being chosen to play such an important and monumental literary character in this version. I remember reading the Harry Potter series as a little girl in London and thinking how much I wanted to be part of and live in that magical world. Playing Hermione in the HGQLC series was by far the best artistic adventure I’ve ever had. Exploring moments, scenes and how far we can bring characters all felt like adventures. Even our trip to Dublin, Ireland this past year felt like one big adventure. I’ll be forever grateful for that experience.

BGC: Why do you create?

I enjoy acting because I love being seen and getting to disappear. It’s a paradox but it’s my truth. I enjoy exploring the range of human experience. I love that I get to feel connected to people in the safe incubator that is pretend. I love that I get to feel and say all the things I’m afraid to feel and say in my real life. I still never get bored of going to the theater, movie or stage, sitting in a dark room with other people and watching performers simply tell us a story. I hope to serve God and the people around me through my creativity and acting. I always hope to truthfully represent a human experience no matter how high or low the stakes it might seem to us at first. Losing your phone and frantically trying to find it can be as exciting and dramatic a story as losing one’s job or finding out your spouse is unfaithful. It’s all in the storytelling and truthfulness of the moment and I love as an actor I get to explore that.

BGC: Who do you hope to reach through your work?

Honestly, the most important people I aim to ultimately reach and impress are my nieces and nephews. Yes the public, my agents, and producers are all important but I feel as though they are a means to an end. Right now my oldest niece is 10 years old and she loves the Hermione series and is always pretty excited to see me act on TV. At the moment she still thinks I’m pretty cool and I hope to keep it that way.

If this was a decade ago and you asked 16-year-old Ashley the same question I probably would have said something like “I want to be a voice for the voiceless and the underrepresented… blah blah blah.” Truthfully, I don’t think I ever really knew what that meant. I mean, I knew what it meant on a superficial-runner-up-in-Beauty-Pageant kind of level but now that answer doesn’t resonate with me as the gutter truth. Whenever I’m working on scripts, deciding on content to create or post etc, I ask myself “Is this something I would be proud to let my niece see? Is this the kind of work that can help make the world even the tiniest bit better for her?” Eventually, she’s going to grow up and have a voice in this world and I hope that her seeing me embrace mine will give her the courage to embrace hers. My nieces and nephews and all the children like them are who I hope to reach.

I really love seeing how the world is changing now. Representation in the media was so limited even 10 years ago but now it’s getting more and more beautiful by the day. With so many platforms, works such as Pose, Glow, Fresh Off the Boat, Chewing Gum, Masters of None, Eighth Grade, and more, so many beings who have been underrepresented for years are getting a chance to reach their audiences and tell their stories. And we all get to identify and see ourselves in each other. I don’t have to reach out and save the world because it kind of starts with myself and our own backyard.

BGC: Who or what inspires you to keep creating?

Oh geez, that’s a loaded question. My peers are my first and foremost inspiration and motivation. Again Eliyannah Yisrael, Megan Grogan, Alice Pearce, Jessica Jenks. It’s remarkable to watch those ladies do what they do. I love being in acting class and witnessing breakthroughs or being in a really great rehearsal with a cast mate. That’s always promising when you get to be part of the creation of something honest and true.  Even if it is just a great moment in a scene. Actors who inspire me are endless. Octavia Spencer is a fantastic actress and creator who I adore. I had the blessing of working with her once and she’s an even better human.  Lovely doesn’t do her justice. I love watching Regina King. There’s a great example of an honest to God creator and storyteller. She’s accomplished so much in acting, directing, writing, and producing. That’s also how I feel about Shonda Rhimes, Boots Riley, Jim Carrey, Maggie Gyllenhaal. There are many more. I’m sure as soon as you publish this interview I’m going to think of more.

BGC: Why is it important as a Black person to create?

As Black people, we have such a specific and loaded way we walk through the world. The Hermione Series has such a beautiful tag line.  It says “HGQLC - Write Your Own Ending.”  I’ve always loved that because it gives power to the subject.  As Black people it is our responsibility to take control of our story the best way we can.  We must feed our communities the best and most honest images of ourselves to ourselves because images and representation matters. In the area of cinema, for years non-Black people have told their version of the Black experience and it has left us misrepresented.

BGC: How do you balance creating with the rest of your life?

It’s always a struggle to keep a balanced life. I have a tendency to obsess and quickly lose perspective but when I want to regain balance I plan my day to make sure I get everything I need in. Luckily for me in my particular art form, acting is about living so I know I can’t be a good actor if I’m not allowing myself to experience life and fun.   

BGC: Have you been able to build a support system around yourself? What does that look like?

I feel so grateful for my support system. I have amazing representation, an amazing day job with super awesome and motivating coworkers who are actively pursuing their life goals. I also have super supportive family and friends who tell me they’re proud of me just for being myself. My sister is also a great support system, someone I can speak and think out loud with no fear of judgment. I could not be any luckier.

BGC: Any advice for young creators/ones just starting?

It takes 10,000 hours to be a professional at anything. So just put in the hours, however that may look. Either do it, read about it, watch a YouTube video on it, whatever you have to do to learn about your craft and get better.  

BGC: Any future projects?

I’m going to be doing a remounting of the stage production Rotterdam at the historic Kirk Douglas Theater in Culver City. It’s a short run, performances run from March 28 - April 7th, but it’s such a blessing to revisit this work with such a remarkable group of people.  It’s a super funny and insightful play about gender and love.

In the television world I just finished wrapping a new AMC series starring Zachary Quinto and Ashleigh Cummings called NOS4A2. I don’t know the exact date it is to be released but it’s happening soon. The series is based of the hit novel by Joe Hill and it centers around a teenager (Cummings) who uses supernatural abilities to track down the seemingly immortal Charlie Manx (Quinto), who steals children and deposits them in “Christmasland.”  I play a Detective Tabitha Hutter trying to suss out the truth. This series has supernatural fantasy, horror, action/adventure, procedural, and family drama. Everything you want to see.

[readfelice-blog]

moominland chronicles elf . its not you, its me.

Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and caldron bubble. Fillet of a fenny snake, In the caldron boil and bake; Eye of newt and toe of frog, Wool of bat and tongue of dog, Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg and howlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble. Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and caldron bubble. Cool it with a baboon's blood, Then the charm is firm and good.

It's late today, well i mean there is no set time, but im slow, on this gorgeous early autumnal sunday, i dozed till 15h, getting up intermittently to empty my washing machine, tug at my hair (vinegar makes it sticky? I'm trying to find the perfect all natural solution to shampoo because I’m no poo now : https://www.nopoomethod.com , in fact i’m practising a very loose version of alchemy in my house, trying to find drinks that energise but don't make me anxious, cleaning solutions for my body and for my house that bewitch the nostrils and incinerate grease / kalk. Essentially I’m just concocting weird stuff, hunched over materials collected around the city, boiling my hell broths in ikea pans, surrounded by recycled jars).....

Lets press on…...

Yes, my morning, my intro to the day, I was up so late because I was up last night so late, till 4am, painting and listening to sweet feminine soundwaves in my kitchen, getting it done in my way, step by step. Because now I’m working a 5 day week again, my days are 3 hours long, 5 at a push, 6 in the most extreme cases, so now I’m back to burrowing out time where i can find it, because now i have my teeth dug in to a big project, a big project that will be realized, for the first time since may May last year.

May last year:

I killed myself, artistically, me artistically is the majority of me.

My whole life has been sewn into my practise, my method, my way of understanding and redistributing everything that comes into my life, and May last year I moved out of the house I shared with my ex husband , moon, and into a shared flat, to embark on a restorative journey. Me and moon were not doing well in our little cramped caravan, we were at each other's throats incessantly, already broken up, him with a new partner, me in full swing of frantic madness, fuelled by bottomless bottles of booze.

Day in day out in my studio, I slowly turned my 450sq ft basement into a mermaids cave, drunk on 8% cider, night after night, sticking black bin liners to the walls with double sided tape, hanging spirals of bubblewave to the ceiling, spray painting floor tiles, screaming at the camera on my iphone half naked, making terrifying life size dolls and cry singing to myself, emphatically paranoid and fractured, writing letters to a man I’d never met who I thought could save me. It was my last great project, I created a film I can never show my parents and documented myself throwing my life away, in my wedding dress, shadowed by the virgin: a wreckage, a car crash, a lot of footage I haven’t been able to edit because I haven’t got the equipment to do so.

It's all stored on a clunky hard drive bundled up with the moon, he saved it for me, without him I would of lost it because my laptop, his laptop, broke in the middle of me editing it and since then its been untouched. I’m afraid the hours of video that follow me dancing around everything i’d ever owned up until that point, rigorously chucking it all in more black bin liners. When I can find a place to edit everything and the capacity in my mind, then I can piece it back together and show it to the world.

Since May last year, I have totally uprooted my life, moved out of London, had a very strange, sometimes beautiful, sometimes harrowing time with my family in Devon, rolled through Turin, Cork, Helsinki, chasing the man I’ve never met, blocking the man I’ve never met at the behest of my friend in Cork, defending and understanding my art more deeply in Helsinki, and finding Tove Jansson. Her bronze bust on the door of the studio she used to hold, her gorgeous expanding black and white prints in the mumin cafe that towered in the sky under artificial light, her room in the museum of Modern Art, her soul in the botanical gardens amongst the families having lunch together.

It's been a glorious invigorating illuminating intrepid journey (I’ve been writing a hip hop song recently, can you tell?) but its not been anything monumental in terms of creation and since May last year is the longest time I have gone without a major project in my life, for possibly my entire adult life, bar being at uni, where conversely I was more orientated towards squat parties than art making.

So here I sit now, with a great big juicy exciting idea inflated in a giant balloon, ready to be released into the atmosphere, the only snag is that it needs to be manifested into real material, which means a lot of work, and so, I find myself back in a place I’d forgotten about.

That's the very good thing about having such a long break, is now I can totally observe what happens to me when I’m in this phase: it’s quite extreme from a fledgling perspective.

Not fueled by booze this time, but instead concocting things to give me a buzz that I can buy in the supermarket (don’t drink to much valerian, it gives you a bad tummy, im not drowsy or euphoric I just feel sick from the after affects and rancid smell) and developing my cleaning routine to be the most streamlined and creative that it can be, to give my art sustenance.

But if I could I would lock myself away from the world in a cabin far up on a mountain and painfully draw out everything in a more concentrated form, the cleaning is fine for now but it's hard to concentrate when I have to go to peoples houses and deal with their kalk as well, it might be one of the factors in why the whole thing is so stressful, but I have the suspicion that it will always be stressful, even if I ever get the luxury to entirely dedicate my day to working on my art.

The big thing I’m noticing is incessant, almost intolerable paranoia, that someone will steal my idea and present it to the world before I’m done. I notice it now and then I turn and look at my past and see its infected traces throughout my history, it's a big driving force in getting the work finished and I’m starting to see that I cannot share or talk about what I’m doing when I’m in the midst of it, but all i want to do is share and talk about it, hence why that cabin would be a better place than a city I’m not fully established in.

I know it’s unreasonable, untrusting, maybe even unkind of me, to believe that someone would steal something like this from me. I know that sharing ideas is healthy and loving and makes the world go round, but this paranoia is totally immovable and so I just accept it and try to satiate it, hoping by feeding it homemade remedies that it won’t make my life worse.

But these big idea’s, they come upon me, I don’t choose them, all the strands of my life and experimentation ferment slowly and then one day I wake up and I know what I have to do, then as I start to do it it grows and morphs, develops, things come and go from my wall, until I have reduced and finelined the parameters of a project, that's where I am now, all the mental groundwork is laid, its just the creation that's left, I’m now half way through the musical aspect of it but not halfway through the visual and I need to amp up, because it must be done by November the second, so I can take it to Turin with me, so I can deposit it at the gates of hell, so I can complete a cycle, so I can be free to make blue music and who knows what, maybe try something formless, kind and organic - that's not for me to know yet though.

Once it rears its great dense head, I am in its power, I am in the throng of obeying my art and that's a lonely place to be. It's lonely being an artist, some of us are collaborative and collective and have communities, but I’m not among those right now, this project, lets just call it by its name for here in : восем acht ocho : is not something I can share and make with others, it is a process of me picking up the pieces of my life, of giving praise to the moon, who has saved me and supported me so many times. I must give praise to him finally so I can move on and give praise to myself.

So I sit in my house and dutifully work back and forth between paint and ableton, singing and faux performing in my hallway in between, performing to my very tolerant invisible neighbours that must think I’m some kind of banshee from a deep buried part of the world. I sit in my house alone, I reject all the invitations extended to me, I retract from the life I am building to some extent and just hope the friends I have been finding will be understanding, though it's hard to explain to someone that I can’t come because of something I am choosing to do myself. It's not work related in terms of my bread and butter, Its not health related, I’m not resting, I guess a lot of people won’t understand which is perhaps why I feel compelled to try and somehow explain myself in this blog today.

I must make this work, it is not a choice, I am in my house alone because this idea has bound me up and demands my care and attention, because for the first time in over a year I can make work again and make it with diligence, create something on a large scale. It means that Berlin is working, this is the change I was looking for, because I feel like I have a future again, whilst the 100’s of drawings, paintings, books, trinkets from my life decay in some junk yard close to London, I have the space to bring new art into the world. It’s really a glorious turning point in my life so far.

I am still terrified that it will all collapse in on me at any time, but there are ways of fighting this paranoia, careful planning, creative problem solving, and probably just not talking about the details of what I am doing anymore until it is finished.

Phew, nothing enlightening this week, more of an attempt to bridge the gap between myself and the life that flows around me. I’m now off to edit my most current track on ableton then do some line work and probably make up some mixes of citric acid / bicarbonate of soda cleaner for the week ahead.

We just have to do what we must, and be grateful when we know what it is we must do.