#im done venting BYE!

[lovelyrockstar]

i love to draw ocs during school while having a shit ass day. makes me feel good. but???? im still having a shit ass day and i still feel bad????? jot like. "oh i did something now i feel bad" like "oh i feel terrible physically and mentally and im scared whats gonna happen next"

venting in tags a little bit kind of ihhuuh

[ppriesttess]

I'm in dire need of Shiba content. Decided to draw a fanart myself

[chiistarri]

what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group

[denieatsart]

Aughhhh im so tired

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

Hhhhhh why does it always have to take me six hours to transition into doing anything it's so frustrating I just wanna write that fanfic NOW or take the shower NOW or get out of bed NOW I don't want to spend half the day hyping myself up for it >:|

[kimmkitsuragi]

naur u know what sometimes i relate to roman rocket launch failure scene so hard. believe it or not this happened to me every day in the last week

[0rph1x]

dont mind me tumblr dot com

the thing is im not upset or sad abt being in pain. im fucking angry. im so angry. the life that i knew was over at 17 and i will never get that back. i will never, ever be the way i was. and i know there are ways to deal with it and make it manageable but i don't want that. i want it fixed, i want it better, i want it gone. i need it gone.

"theo theo its just a bad knee it cant be that bad, ur life isn't over bc of a bad knee" u don't understand. i stood in line in a restaurant today for less than ten minutes and i couldn't handle it, it was so sore and it hurt so much that i needed to stretch just being in line. ten minutes. and to be fair its cold so its worse but that was only ten minutes. what am i supposed to do for the rest of my life. i need a way to fix this and now. i am so, so tired. im not strong or independent or anything like that, im fucking tired.

[skurtberry-shortcake]

Mann, I went to school ONCE in the last two weeks, and somehow I'm still exhausted, idk what's wrong with me ugh (last week there was no classes and this week it rained almost the whole week, so I just didn't feel like going lol)

My grades are not great, i mean, theire not bad but I've never had grades this low before, feeling really bad about it. I also have an allergy in my eyes, so maybe the medicine is what's making me tired, cuz people say that allergy meds makes u sleepy or whatever, but I also woke up super early, so uh.. I don't even know what I'm talking about here, maybe I'll just delete this post later anyway bye

[tempests-bards-and-birds]

hnnnnnn i wanna have time and energy to make actually elaborate gifs again,,,,

[gameyface46]

I think I forgot, in my endless quest for the approval of others, that this whole “art” thing was meant to be fun. As it stands, I’ve been plowing my way through making piece after piece after piece and never finishing them because I feel tired already. I don’t look forward to finishing a project, I loathe it just like I did for an essay or math homework. Another one for the blog, I think, that’s all it is. That’s what they want, give it to them!

But that’s not what I want. I rue the day when I need to work on art, in fact I sometimes despise the work I do so much I abandon it like a horrible mother will abandon her young when things get rough. I’m not sure where it comes from.

Have I, in desperation to be unique, told myself that creativity is my calling, when they never even rung the phone once?

Maybe it’s my sheer laziness that causes my hatred to do work, and I need to fix my work ethic?

Am I just doing it all to show that I am worthy, or I am unique, or I deserve something, anything, even one word of praise?

Is it just I draw things that aren’t interesting, and need to open new doors instead of walking through the one I’ve opened over and over again, the once-golden knob revealing its bronze coat underneath the sheen from wear.

Maybe I’m too scared to fail, knowing there are so many people that could metaphorically squash even my most vigorous, meaningful and impactful art with a 5-minute piece they drew on a whim in science class.

I don’t know if any of these are true. The answers are only yes and no, yet I fail to turn my head one way or the other. It could be yes to all of them, for fuck’s sake! I thought this was what I wanted to do all my life, and now that I’ve lost my passion, my map’s been ripped up. The street signs have been crossed out. My memories of the paths I once tread lost, and the beatings those roads took have all vanished. I’ve lost sight of the town I called my mind, and every road leads to nowhere. It seems as if though I am trapped in New York City on a good day.

[phagodyke]

still in suchhhh a funk

[leathermouthlives]

i think i am just . very bad at talking bc i lose . a lot of my friends very fast

[grass-s0fa]

guesd who slept well into the achool day because both their crucial alarms were off?! ...

[sweetlady555]

My Personal Solar Return Observations Pt III

reminder to check your degrees in your sr chart as they play a big factor in how certain sr placements would play out!

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Venus 5H 17° SR - when i had this in my sr chart for 2023-2024 i saw myself experimenting more with different creative styles/looks. i would try to find inspiration from different creatives on instagram. while i was doing this, i started talking to a well known designer in that creative scene who had messaged me because he liked my style. it was a secret relationship because he cheated on someone to be with me which i thought they were completely done but he kept going back to her then back to me. he was obsessed with me and it was a really weird relationship, he would only come to me when his lustful desires were acting up and then would go when he was satisfied 💀. i was tired of this so i started talking to someone else and he found and his little ego got so hurt and he blocked me thank fucking god 😭😭!! I was also approached by another creative because he wanted to use my face as inspiration for his clothing brand hehe ( the 17° rules leo & fame )

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Aries Rising 2° SR - when i had this i felt like i was really impulsive i did lots of things without thinking twice. i had my chart ruler in the 5h that year so it might be different if you end up having your asc ruler somewhere else in your sr chart, but for me i was impulsive when it came to switching different styles. i also started drinking and partying for the first time when i had a aries rising in my sr when it was placed in my 5h. aside from this, i was very determined on finishing goals i set my mind to and i was very consistent in trying to build a good foundation for myself. ( the 2° rules taurus & early stages )

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Moon 7H 4° SR - most of my relationships that i had that year were lowkey codependent, the guys i talked to that year were very emotionally dependent and attached to me. they would usually call or message me out of nowhere to vent or open up to me which would be random asf lmaoo ( the 4° rules cancer & security/protection )

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Mercury 3H 28° SR - I started talking to my siblings more and my relationship grew closer with them. I also started becoming more vunerable with my siblings. My relationship with my siblings were more nurturing compared to the past. ( the 28° rules cancer & heightened sensitivity/vulnerability )

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Mars 5H 21° SR - I went out a lot more when i had this in my sr chart with my sisters friends who would randomly go out just for the fun of it 😭, like it was last minute most of the times but it was so fun tho! i got to do lots of things on the trips we went to! I was also more open to expressing my creativity like making clothes and putting it out there and such. ( the 21° rules saggitarius & travel/freedom )

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Jupiter 1H 8° SR - I was more optimistic about life when I had this placement in my sr chart. I also felt like I was really lucky when it came to travelling more. places ive wanted to go to forever i ended up going to! things i wanted to experience i experienced! it was a good year for experiencing new things. ( the 8° rules scorpio & transformations )

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Uranus 2H 21° SR - yeah i dont know where my money went that year 💀 money would come fast and then it would go even faster 😭 i saw my money as a source of freedom and thought of money so recklessly like, “oh these shoes are $300 but i just got fired? dont worry the money will come back *BOUGHT🧾*” so i didnt care much about saving or anything 😭 it came back though!! but then it went bye bye the next day😍 also for some weird reason whenever i took money out from daily pay which is a app where you can take money out early from your check when you work, whenever i took it out it ended up saying i had to pay back the amount i took out? like uhhh im pretty sure this was my money i took out 😂🤔… so now im -$200 but they gotta catch me in person cuz im not paying that 😹 ( the 21° degree rules saggitarius and freedom )

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Pluto 11H 29° SR - i ended two 5+ year friendship that year, it was hard but it was a trio and i found out that the both of them would ditch me to go hangout and do substances and i feel like that didnt align with my path because you are who you hangout with!! i also saw my goals/path changing that year, I completely re-evaluated what i wanted to do 🙏. ( the 29° is a anaretic degree that rules major transformations/completion/endings )

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ Chiron 1H 19° SR - I was VERY critical on how others percieved me and my self image, i had multiple identity crises. I was super insecure the year I had this in my sr chart i cant even lie, despite so many people telling me how beautiful I was I just couldnt see it. 2 months before my birthday in 2024 i ended up understanding who i was and finding out what I LIKE and not what other people expected of me. im not facing multiple identity crises anymore which i thank my nn in my 1h from that year 🙏. ( 19° rules libra & can make a person more erratic and critical )

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 1H SR in 5H SR - I was more open to showcasing my creative talents, designing clothes, starting lots of creative projects. I was also having sooo much fun that year i miss it so much but lemme stop reminiscing 💔 I was also more flirty and playful that year leading me to have a few romantic encounters this year. Lots of creativity, fun, and sexual encounters happened that year.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 2H SR in 5H SR - I spent most of my money on clothes and on creative projects just things that made me happy!!!! I was also recieving money from a lot of guys who wanted sexual things from me but they got #finessed and i didnt care because who do you think i am???????

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 3H SR in 3H SR - when i had this i started getting into astrology more, i was also reading a lot more aswell. I was really curious and i needed lots of mental stimulation from something that was neverending and astrology just so happened to be it 😹. I was also making tons of short trips that year.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 4H SR in 7H SR - my family life was lowkey stopping me from getting into any relationships, i came to the realization i wouldnt be able to get into any relationships while living with my parents because of how controlling they can be. Also my sister got into a new relationship that sr year.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 5H SR in 7H SR - I started talking to a creative designer the year I had my 5h in my 7h. I was also getting involved with creative partnerships aswell, promoting eye contacts/lashes/having my face used for someones brand. I also attended more parties and was going out more so i found most of my relationship encounters were through that.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 6H SR in 4H SR - i changed my diet when i had this in my sr. I also didnt know how to balance my work life and home life so it clashed terribly and i got fired😭. I was also going out more with my sister so my routines have changed from never going out at all to going out every week.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 7H SR in 5H SR - I met lots of new friends and different social circles through fun plans like partying, girls trips etc.. I also had lots of fun romantic encounters when i had this in my sr whether i met them when i was drunk or at parties it was lots of fun lol. There was so much childlike joy when it came to my relationships that sr year.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 8H SR in 5H SR - i lost my virginity the year i had this in my sr😶 but besides that my relationships in that sr year really shaped my understanding of love and myself. i was also recieving money from relationships i felt like a sugar baby🙈

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 9H SR in 1H SR - BABY I WAS OUTSIDEEE😭😩 okay besides that, that sr year when i had this i experienced a lot of new things that helped me discover who i was on the inside 😊. I was focused on self growth especially that year!

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 10H SR in 12H SR - I thought a lot about what I wanted to do career wise and how it would align with my goals and my purpose . I had this in my sr when I got fired 😭 and i realized I would prefer being my own boss when it came to my work life

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 11H SR in 12H SR - I unfriended my closest friends after re-evaluating our friendships that year. I also found out shady shit about them and I didn’t like that which led me to unfriending them

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 12H SR in 2H SR - i was manifesting money a lot the year i had this and im not even gonna lie it was coming!! so if you have this in your sr this year, manifest that moola$$$!!!!! i was also receiving money behind the scenes from other people the year i had this in my sr chart .

if my sr chart for that solar return year was a song it would be definitely be this song 🥲 #willforevercherishthatyear

dont forget to check out my other personal sr observations if you enjoyed this one :) !

[b1zzybee]

Yet they still expect me to be everything to them.

Apparently just “not wanting to be touched by your parents sometimes” is wrong.

Apparently “raising your voice at your parents the slightest when your annoyed is wrong but your parents raising their voice fully at your even when their in the wrong” is right.

They hit you when you just don’t want a hug.

[magicratfingers]

hi!!! ive been putting off sending this ask bc idk how to phrase it in the best way but … ive been trying to work on my drawing lately even tho the Voice that wants to give up bc im not immediately good at things is VERY strong !!! & i love your work so much + ive been taking a lot of inspo bc its kinda scribbly and pared-down but still really expressive + differentiated (i.e. im just saying its something i feel like i can try match the vibe of rather than like, a very detailed and refined thing?!?! absolutely not my intention to sound rude at all!!!) .

anyway very rambly but the main thing is ive been struggling a lot w figure+perspective+silhouettes and honestly everything so i was just wondering what ur process was like??? particularly bc ur style is more pared back but everything is so cohesive and all the perspective n posing is perfect. i’m curious sketching/planning is involved before a typical work you’d upload? and idk like……. how much technical skill + consideration goes into a drawing especially re: posing & perspective. just bc i feel like Such a Noob and like my eyes r literally wrong and nothing looks Right. im such a type A planner it just feels like maybe idk am i supposed to be educating myself on figure drawing and shading perspective first??!?! or do i just draw until it’s good?!?!?

idk man i create in a lot of different mediums and i feel super comfortable letting my writing be terrible before it’s good but w drawing the self-critique is SO difficult to ignore. thanku for what turned out to be a vent lol. but i would appreciate any insight! also i love your art ok bye

Hi! yeah great ask. I've been there. Live there, even. Here're two of my comfort hacks

1. Scribbles = Bonsai It can be real hard to know when you're 'done' with an illustration (or anything really) if you don't have a job for it. My doodles are 'done' to me if they have Character, Rhythm, & Balance. I stole that from a youtube doc about Bonsai.

2. Figures / Perspectives / Shading = Planning The Chunks These are kind of all the same thing - 'how am I using volume to say something.' I've found formal perspective stuff to be stifling. I work around it by making little marshmallow toothpick people and putting them in a diorama.

I like the diorama method because all I have to do is make far things lighter and close things darker. That's a lot of depth for very little effort and I'm on a budget.

If this helps y'all I'd love to hear about it 🍀